Notes:

- Talking to people who don't know about australia history - include in speech

Talk about your understanding of the Australian Identity including a bit of the history
- First poem: EWSMAK
- Second Poem :
- Conclusion, does Bruce Dawe challenge or affirm your version of the Australian Identity.

Base it like a ted talk (watch one)

- American Capitalism, how’d it affect us (Maybe add)
- Intro on Bruce Dawe (small backstory at the start of speech)
- Specific techniques (at least 3 QTE’S per poem)
- Talk briefly about how the Australian Identity has changed from 1950-2024, some points
may include: friendship, diversity.
- Maybe start with a rhetorical question (must be a really good question that the
audience can ponder upon)
- Joke about traffic (maybe add other jokes)

This is quite a bland introduction, for it lacks engagement and assumes this is a topic of interest
for your audience, something you need to ensure by scaffolding why the poetry is relevant for
modern audiences. Instead of simply asking the question, think about how you might generate
thought around what our collective identity looks like today, and how it is funnelled through an
examination of the once-contemporary, albeit increasingly relevant poetry of Bruce Dawe.What
truly defines the Australian Identity? Now you may be asking yourself this question, well today
Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests and international audience, through this seminar all
these questions will be answered looking through Bruce Dawes lens into the essence of what it
means to be Australian. Who is Bruce Dawe? Bruce Dawe is a social satirist born in the year
1930, who uses light-heartedness to make his poems digestible and easy-to-read by the
average Australian This expository detail is not necessary. In the next few minutes, I invite you
to join me in unravelling the entangled layers of the Australian Identity(I still don’t know what
your primary argument is, you need to define how you see our contemporary identity and the
degree to which it connects/dissonates with the perspective put forward by Dawe), using Bruce
Dawe’s poetry as a guide through his poems EWSMAK and Homecoming.
Upon reading your bodies, it seems like you are going for something around homogeny,
and you need to set this up in an engaging way from the get-go. Think of a way you can
elicit a consideration of the loss of uniqueness that has plagued us today as Australians.
E.g.

The Australian continent on which we gather today is a technicoloured one. With the rise
in multiculturalism, racial, ethnic, and gendered diversity, we are the peak of not only our
embrace of, but celebration of change. Of uniqueness. And yet, navigating through the
Australian streets, in whatever suburb or concealed-off district, you are unlikely to find
anything different. Empty souls and round-the-clock workers glued to their mobile
phones, avoiding one another, only looking up to secure their spot in the drawn out lines
of shopping centres championing success…

Introduce poet and thesis.

The Australian Identity (Define according to your thesis) as listed by Bruce Dawe in the poem
You need to transition into the poem more smoothly, remember it is a personal discussion that
is unfolding. EWSMAK shows a consumer-driven hyper-capitalistic culture (frame by idea-
‘Enter’ constructs an image of a ________ Australian identity, seen through a child’s first
encounter into the world being demarcated by the cultural allusion: seen in the very first
sentences where it states “Bobby Dazzler on Channel 7: Hello, Hello all you lucky people'',
which shows a cultural allusion showing the intrusiveness of advertising methods which
inculcate individuals with a social code characterised by material ambition straight from birth,
thereby shaping their identity into _______ parades through the child's birth. This can still be
seen today (Perhaps this is no different to our current climate where we are _____)as we are
constantly bombarded with advertisements and often at the cost of the environment business
owners make decisions to maximise their own profits. Give a more concrete example to avoid
this link just appearing tenuous.

Why are you moving into Homecoming here? We need greater depth of evidence for ‘Enter.’
The second poem we will be focusing on is Homecoming, which shapes the Australian identity
to one of grief and sadness(no it doesn’t) (Is your thesis homogeny? You need to decide on this
and drive it from the beginning) as it is a dramatic monologue recounting the tragic return of the
dead bodies after the vietnam war. The irony is seen in the title as ‘Homecoming’ is usually an
event categorised by happiness (see class annotations- subversion of title), but in this instance
“They’re bringing them home, now, too late, too early”, the pain and grief is seen showing the
dehumanisation in the first line as bodies are disposed within ‘green plastic bags’ emphasising
lack of individuality (comparison to jingoistic terms in ‘Enter’?. Throughout the poem's context, it
could be said with ease, that Bruce Dawe’s perspective affirms with our own contemporary
understanding of the Australian Identity. (This is not saying or proving anything)

I think you should stick with a two-body paragraph structure on this idea of homogeny, for the
argument and flow is already difficult to follow…
Bruce Dawe displays the idea of homogeny and the dangers of a consumerist society through
his satirical criticism within his famous poem “Enter Without So Much As Knocking” (EWSMAK).
He displays the Australian identity as consumer driven much like the society that they reside in.
Set up idea (see example above) As seen in the first quote “ Like every other well-equipped
smoothly- run household, his included one- economy size Mum, one Anthony Squires-
Coolstream Summerweight Dad, along with two other kids straight off the Junior Department
Rack'', the nuclear family unit is reduced to meaningless jingoistic and advertising slang terms,
dehumanising the individuals by dehumanising each family member dividing each member of
the family into niche products that can be exploited niche markets that can be labelled as
distinctive unique marketing opportunities, void of an individual identity outside of this
consumerist influence. today this is seen in the vast decline in marriages as well as increase in
living costs hurdling consumers to delay parenthood. Dawe furthers this image of ______This
furthers the idea of the devastating effects of consumerism and capitalism on the Australian
identity. Evidence furthering the affirmation of our own contemporary understanding of the
Australian Identity in relation to Bruce Dawe’s, is seen in the quote “NO BREATHING EXCEPT
BY ORDER. BEWARE OF THIS”. The capitalised imperatives show the dictatorial nature of
urban existence. The hyper-capitalistic culture and consumerism enforce compliance of rules
and regulations that results in the lack of individuality, showcasing the homogenous lifestyle. As
a result of this lack of individuality and dehumanisation, mankind becomes sort of self-centred
and greedy as Dawe quotes “realistic like every other godless money-hungry back-stabbing
miserable so-and-so”. The listing of these negative descriptorsqualities, reveals the inevitable
descent of a once pure individual who marvelled “at the stars” into the inculcated mindset of a
hardened consumer-driven individual, as at after time and pressure, the individual too, becomes
hardened by society, incorporated into the homogenous identities in society. Individuality
idiosyncrasies and values/morals no longer are deemed meaningful in a commercialised world.
Dawe criticises the dehumanisation of the Australian Identity by evoking a dark and
homogeneous society lacking individuality, and as seen in the individuals last moments of life,
no legacy is left behind as those left at his graveyard comment on his looks emphasising vanity.
We need a quote to substantiate this. Contemporary link?

Bruce Dawe’s poem ‘Homecoming’ offers an evocative reflection on the Australian Identity,
especially in its exploration of the common themes of war and lack of individuality experienced
by the returning of the dead soldiers from the vietnamese war raging in the mid to mid-late
1900’s. Poor transition- go back to your thesis and the way homogeny is developed here In the
introduce idea and then the quote very first lines as quoted by Bruce Dawe “they’re zipping
them up in green plastic bags' ' the repetition of these types of statements in the previous lines
create a sort of anaphora You can’t create a sort of anaphora? It is anaphoric repetition of
“they’re”, not up for question. Watch expression . Through this, Bruce Dawe creates a stark
image highlighting the profuse number of deceased soldiers Express effect in one sentence-
you are rambling. Each soldier having been placed in a ‘green plastic bag’ showing the lack of
individuality and the homogeneity within society. This can be seen in everyday Australian life as
the influence of friends offers a narrow ideal of acceptance through what we wear and how we
act. The idea of lack of individuality is further progressed through the loss of identity as Dawe
states it ‘they are bringing the home - curly heads, kinky-hairs, crew-cuts and balding non-coms’
the listing of these dehumanising descriptors rather than unique characteristics highlights the
severance of soldiers from their identities as they are only categorised by hair style why? What
has rendered them the same? Are there any dominant constructs beyond war that similarly
homogenise us?, furthering the homogenising process. This suggests that soldiers go into war
and leave it as shells of their former selves. Weak transition Lastly, the process of
dehumanisation induced by the military is seen in the quote ‘in their sterile housing they tilt
towards these like skiers’, the comparison of the dead bodies to the skiers as they ‘tilt toward’
the land is a calamitous comparison as skiers have freedom through movement and vitality,
whilst the war has reduced these men to nil. Dawe critiques the loss of identity of the Australian
Identity by ending the poem with a dark oxymoronic statement “They’re bringing them home,
now, too late, too early”. This final line creates the paradoxical statement where they are too late
to be saved and have died too early in life. The final illustration is one of Vain Imprudence
towards young lives. This quote does not link back to the homogenisation point and should be
taken out. Contemporary relevance is tacked on rather than engaged with here.

As demonstrated by analysing the poems, Enter without so much as knocking, a consumer-

driven society is formed with the main motive being towards not family or health but rather
accumulating wealth. Individuals can be described as selfish and superficial, showing lack of
individuality. In the poem Homecoming, the lack of individuality is glorified, showing how bodies
are not recognized by uniqueness but rather hairstyles. The overprivileged can be seen showing
the lack of empathy for others. In essence, Bruce Dawe’s poems were made to make an
incisive critique of the flaws in society which often included themes such as commercialism,
emotional voids and consumerism as they were written after Australia saw extreme hardships
and devastation throughout the early-to-mid 1900’s such as WW1, TGD and WW2. This is
relevant with our own contemporary understanding of the Australian Identity

Come back to our contemporary identity and the idea of a technicoloured continent- start and
end with that analogy to give the argument circularity. How do we hold onto these colours that
are being stripped away from us each day?

Structurally, this needs work. Clarify the thesis you are going to argue and ensure a clear
movement of ideas. The personal voice is underdeveloped, warranting a closer
engagement around the way these restricted identities are synonymous with those in our
contemporary lives- back up with specific examples and audience engagement
throughout.
Poem Terms to describe the Contemporary areas
collective Australian
Identity represented

Enter Selfish, homogenised, Social trends, workforce,

materialistic, superficial, competitive individualism,
amoral/apathetic hyper-capitalism

Americanized Controlled, suffocated, Social Media, Cultural

constricted (not idiosyncratic) standards and expectations.

Weapons Training Desensitised, dehumanised, Urban homogeny, greater

discriminatory, homogenised acceptance of diversity, yet
discrimination persists in
certain spheres and cultures.

Homecoming Homogenised, Lower socio-economic,

ungrateful/heedless privilege: lack of feeling of
others