LET’S TALK ABOUT..

VALIDATION

Submitted by: Kimi Ananda C. Imson of 10-Copernicus

Summary:

On the 183rd episode of the Let’s Talk About Mental Health Podcast, its host, Jeremy

Godwin, discussed the topic of validation. Validation is experienced by everyone; be it

children, teenagers, adults, and senior citizens. Validation is a term where the constant

need to be seen or heard by one’s self and/or others; this can be both beneficial and

damaging to our mental heaths, more specifically our self-esteem and self-worth. Godwin

discussed the two types of validation; self-validation and external validation. Godwin

expressed that a healthy balance between self-validation and external validation is crucial

as having a dependency on the former and losing site of the latter will negatively affect our

mental health especially when the craving for validation is not met to our standards or lose

a sense of self if it is lost. He conversed to his listeners the what, why, and how to handle

these perfectly normal emotions in a healthy way. With the sheer number of episodes that

he has done in his career, he frequently talks about topics that are correlated with the

episode that focuses on validation. With just his previous episode, being about social media

and its negative effects on our mental health, he connected the ideas of the need of constant

validation that we either get from ourselves or from others and how it is perfectly normal

to talk and acknowledge our own feelings rather than denying ourselves of ever feeling

them as acknowledging it will be the first step of the betterment of our self-esteem and self-

worth.
Critical Analysis:

“It means your life means something whether that’s in a big way or small way” a

statement from the podcast’s host; Jeremy Godwin. This statement is a major theme in the

podcast as validation is often repressed within ourselves as we feel as if our feelings are

petty and should not be felt. The host made it a point to make the listener that it is perfectly

okay to feel these things as having a healthy relationship with our feelings in a way that we

can acknowledge our emotions and help in a way that can truly resolve the issue. Another

main argument is whether each type of validation is better than the other one. To help us

form an opinion, the host provides the what, why, and how to help with the dependence on

either one. Relying on one type will cause us drawbacks to truly having self-confidence and

worth. External Validation comes from the need to be constantly reminded that we are valid

and our self-worth becomes synonymous to what people say about us and what other’s say

about us. In other words, their preconceived idea about us will become our reality as the

need to be what they want us to be will prevail. This is a negative effect of external

validation. As Godwin said, “External validation should complement, not replace your sense

of self”; having a clear understanding that what other say should be the end all be all of

ourselves will help us foster a positive relationship with our self. Self-validation is the other

type of validation in which focuses on our own feelings about ourselves. This is harder to

have since people have a tendency to force themselves to think that way as they feel as if it

is petty rather than acknowledging that what they are feeling and is valid. Godwin made it a

point that having a sense of self-validation is more important than external validation as

nobody is perfect and allowing ourselves to feel these emotions will help us know and love
ourselves better. “The more you talk about it, the better it gets.” a statement that I also

believe as suppressing what you feel especially if they are uncomfortable feelings will not

help you have a clear head. It better to know rather than to overthink about what you are

troubled about. These are what I analyzed listening to the podcast, having a voice that

makes you want to listen to them is important so that the listener will be more encouraged

to listen to; Godwin also used the “Imagine on what you would feel, if you were on their

shoes.” strategy as this topic is relatable and not hard to imagine what another person will

feel. All of these rhetorical strategies helped me to better understand the point Jeremy

Godwin is trying to draw attention to.

Reflective essay:

The 183rd episode from the podcast Let’s Talk About Mental Health titled “Let’s Talk

About.. Validation”, talks about validation, why we feel it, how we can better relationships

by having a positive relationship with our self-worth by our validation. “Validation is a

primal need, rejection would cause death to primitive people, it has been hardwired into

our brains and has evolved throughout time.” This statement from Jeremy Godwin truly

encapsulates what validation is. It is normal, everybody feels it, since the dawn of our kind.

The feelings of wanting attention and or the feelings of not wanting rejection is a truly a

habit that we are accustomed to. The proper regulation of emotions so that validation will

favorably be toned down so that the constant need will lessen. Mutual respect when faced

with people’s different perspectives; being different gender, values and cultural

backgrounds and traditions, will help us sympathize with what they are feeling. Having

different perspectives aren’t the only way to sympathize. We can find understanding other

people in more mundane and regular feelings. Emotional validation is saying that “I get why

you are feeling like this and I would be too but that is perfectly normal.” This validation

makes anyone feel like they aren’t alone. The feeling of wanting to belong is truly normal as

from the quote by Godwin, we needed to belong so that we can survive and this mentality is

still present centuries later. Wanting to feel like you belong is a feeling that everybody

relates to as having someone to talk about your troubles will make you feel like you are

alone. People find a sense of familiarity with other people if they experience the same

things that they have also felt. It is truly in our nature to feel validated. Having a reliance on

it is a counterbalance to a healthy way of thinking. Having a true and proper balance of each

of the types of validation, is a better way than suppressing your emotions. Suppressing
emotions becomes draining since our mind is full of thoughts that makes our mind

disturbed. Having someone to talk about the overflowing feelings will help us foster a

better connection with ourselves and with other as they feel better that they helped us even

if it is them listening. Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us rather than to be

given advice. Having a person you can tell everything to is a healthy way, but don’t let that

relationship be one sided as the person you talk to , like us, experiences hardships to.

Helping one another is a truly beautiful thing to have. Rather than keeping to yourself, we

must understand that nobody is perfect, making mistakes is perfectly normal, and we must

celebrate our strengths. For me, the biggest validation I crave is academic validation. As a

student who has never been taken out off the honor roll, scores are everything to me. A high

score to me is normal but a low score makes me question my capabilities as a studious

student. My parents don’t pressure me to be in the honors but it is me that pressures myself

and the constant need for validation; both external and self. Listening to this podcast

helped me realized that I should not think too harshly pressure myself for grades. In the

end of the day, grades are truly just numbers and I should not let these numbers evaluate

my self-worth. What Jeremy Godwin is doing is doing what benefits him and benefits his

listeners. Motivational podcasts like this is truly helpful to people like us that just need

someone to think and acknowledge their feelings rather than suppressing them.

On the Let’s Talk About Mental Health (Episode 183) 29:49 running time on Spotify
ENG SCRIPT

 The podcast I listened to is the 183rd episode of The Let’s Talk

About Mental Health Podcast. It is titled Let’s Talk About…

Validation by the host Jeremy Godwin. This particular episode

piqued my interest as validation is present in everyone. Even the

most perfect-looking people like barbie still feel the need to seek

validation shows that the feeling of wanting to be validated is

normal.

 There are two types of validation; self-validation and external

validation. Everybody experiences the need to be validated. But

the dependency on one type over the other will bring negative

effects when the time when the validation given isn’t enough for

you or when it is cut off.

 Healthy ways to balance self-validation and external validation are

to first and foremost, talk about your feelings to a trusted person

rather than suppressing what you are feeling. “The more you talk

about it, the better you become” a quote by the host of the podcast
which holds true as you will feel better just knowing that there is

someone listening to you. Another healthy way is to celebrate your

strengths and speak kindly to yourself, this way you feel

empowered because at the end of the day, your strength is yours

and yours only, this is a form of self validation. Understand that no

one is perfect and everybody makes mistakes. Movies like The

Barbie Movie show that through Barbie’s quest of self-dicovery

and acceptance, we as the viewer feel validated since the themes of

overcoming challenges, embracing their uniqueness resonates with

the viewers and motivate them to overcome their challenges.