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Jenna Williams

Katarzyna Dziwirek

Honors 394C

March 6, 2024

America’s Anger Gap

Anger is cited as one of six universal emotions agreed upon by linguistic academia, meaning all

cultures feel this regardless of how they verbally express it or its connotation in their community. Even

before speaking, children of every culture can be observed crying or screaming when something does not

go their way. Whether it be a toy that is taken or peas they are forced to eat, this emotion manifests in

both young and old. Aside from young children’s blissful ignorance of the general feelings of their

outbursts, members of most cultures are socialized to act under the overarching perceptions of anger -

who is allowed to express it, how, and when? This paper will focus on views of anger in American culture

and how identity can play a role in the way we answer these questions.

American culture is very individualistic. We place a large importance on being self-sufficient or

independent (Partners Healthcare). As we can see from the taboo nature surrounding topics of mental

health, there is the expectation that we are all perpetually happy or at least can contain ourselves enough

that we can build a facade of being so. Even within this often toxicly positive environment, there is room

for anger. In fact, it is academically regarded as an emotion integral to survival as it can help secure a

favorable outcome for the subject involved (Shields, 2002). In the United States, it is often accepted as

long as it can be controlled and dealt with in a palatable manner. Think of the common action in movies

that many of us have replicated at home: screaming into a pillow to let it out without disturbing others.

Lakoff describes that anger “can be intense, that it can lead to a loss of control, and that a loss of control

can be dangerous” (Lakoff, 1987). As our culture views self-control as a virtue, allowing anger to

overcome and even endanger others can be detrimental to one’s outward perception.

In English, anger can be understood as a mass within a container; something that can be

unpleasant when it overflows. Think of phrases describing outbursts like blow your top or explode, both
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of which signify a mass of negative emotion too big for the space, or person, it tries to reside within.

Shields explains this, “The anger-meter is not an infinite scale, but when some quantity is reached, folk

theory prescribes that the pressure must be alleviated or the pressure becomes dangerously uncontrollable

- ‘anger as a volcano,” (Shields, 2002). This notion of anger building to a point that the subject can no

longer control it is reflected in this attempt to absolve guilt: I just lost it. While this does try to take the

responsibility of the action off of the subject, it also hints at a lack of self-awareness as they did not think

to deal with their negative emotion sooner. Additionally, Shields mentions “anger as a volcano.”

Obviously playing on the nature of exploding, this metaphor highlights another main assumption of anger

- that it is hot. This is shown by describing your blood as boiling if you are upset or need to blow off some

steam after a negative encounter. This makes sense as the physical manifestation of this emotion can be

sweating, increased heart rate/blood pressure, and a spike in adrenaline. Less scientifically, some also

explain anger as a hot feeling creeping up their neck and taking over their body. By controlling the

eruption of this scalding mass inside all of us, we can also control others’ perceptions of our ability to

self-regulate.

Understanding who can express anger demands understanding why we feel anger. Aside from

feeling the heat crawl up the back of your throat, what leads to these negative emotions? Anna Weirzbicka

describes a common thought pattern of a person experiencing anger:

“This person did something bad

I don't want this person to do things like this

I want to do something because of this”

Most times, these thoughts stem from a perception that something has been or will be taken away that is

rightfully yours. For example, if a parking spot was taken from you at the last minute after you had been

waiting for a long time, you may want to yell at the perpetrator to either get your earned spot or make the

person feel bad about their theft. In this way, we can also see anger as power. Power is the ability to get

your desired outcome and anger is one way to obtain this (Shields, 2002). For this reason, it can be

beneficial to allow your anger to overflow because it can mean a shot at getting what you want.
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Connotations of anger can also be used to obtain power over others. Written documents from the

thirteenth to sixteenth centuries portray peasant anger as “the worst sort of destructive irrationality,”

(Shields, 2002). The noble class framed peasant anger as manifestations of inferiority which could not

accomplish the same feats as the nobles’ more directed, “rational” anger. These perceptions reduced

peasant outbursts to mere emotionality which allowed their demands to be disregarded. We can see this

strategy echoed in gender-based power abuse of the modern age.

Instead of peasants and nobles, today we see anger weaponized against women. In American

culture, emotionality is seen as a dichotomy between genders. Fischer writes, “Powerful emotions, that is

emotions that involve attempts to gain or regain control over the situation, are associated with men, but

powerless emotions, such as sadness, anxiety, and fear are associated with women,” (Fischer, 1995). For

this reason, the same reaction of, say, getting passed up on a promotion, can be perceived very differently

if the subject is male versus female. One interesting angle I found through my research was that if anger is

commonly understood as an emotion resulting from the loss of something rightfully yours, does the

differing perception of gendered anger point toward a divide on who deserves what? Are women simply

labeled “emotional” instead of “angry” because they didn’t deserve that promotion? Or because it is their

job to clean the dirty dishes, regardless of who used them? Shields brings up how entitlement is a personal

feeling. Just because you believe you are entitled to something does not mean others agree with you. For

this reason, we can understand how language around anger can reinforce male power through the

delegitimization of female feelings.

Seeing how female anger is often disregarded, it makes sense why some women stop expressing

it altogether. From a young age, women are socialized to prioritize relationships and others’ feelings over

their own. For this reason, women may not want to burden others with their anger or simply may be better

equipped to view the situation from all sides and take empathy over anger. While this pacifist attitude may

be appreciated and labeled as “self-control,” it can be detrimental to our mental well-being. What happens

when we can’t convince ourselves that deep breaths or rational thinking are enough to make this feeling

go away? One study showed that women tend to stay angry longer than men, are more likely to hold
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resentment and walk away from relationships instead of expressing their negative feelings (Dittmann,

2003). In instances of mistreatment, politeness, or the fatigue of not being heard silences the needs of the

women involved.

It is clear. The stakes of degendering language around anger is imperative to dismantling the

patriarchy. In American culture, language is used to gain and maintain power over others which is why

our rhetoric matters. Challenging these ideas can be hard as we are exposed to this language from our

early years through media and it is reinforced in our everyday exchanges. It is important to also look at

this fight intersectionally. This is not just about female liberation, but the liberation of all

female-presenting or identifying people. So the next time you hear a woman described as “irrational,”

“hormonal,” or “emotional,” what will you do?

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Works Cited

“Control Anger before It Controls You.” American Psychological Association, American Psychological

Association, www.apa.org/topics/anger/control. Accessed 2 Mar. 2024.

Dittmann, Melissa. “Anger across the Gender Divide.” Monitor on Psychology, American Psychological

Association, Mar. 2003,

www.apa.org/monitor/mar03/angeracross#:~:text=While%20he%20found%20that%20differences

,impulsively%20dealing%20with%20their%20anger.

“Partners Healthcare®.” U.S. Culture - Individualism | Partners (PIPS). Accessed 2 Mar. 2024.

Lakoff, G., & Kövecses, Z. (1987). The cognitive model of anger inherent in American English. In D.
Holland & N. Quinn (Eds.), Cultural models in language and thought (pp. 195–221). Cambridge
University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/CBO9780511607660.009

Shields, Stephanie A. Speaking from the Heart: Gender and the Social Meaning of Emotion. Cambridge

Univ. Press, 2002.

Wierzbicka, Anna. Emotions across Languages and Cultures: Diversity and Universals. Cambridge

University Press, 2005.