PEER RECOMMENDATION

Hoang Si Ho
for Hien Nhat Dao

“If it’s meant to be, let it be.”

It’s one of his favourite maxims, and also his go-to comforting advice, whenever I face
a dilemma I happen to confide in with him. He told me not to expect too much out of
something, and to just welcome and embrace uncertainty, change, oddness or, would
he say, “take life as it is”. Most of the time, I find his advice sound and his embodiment
of that message truly contagious, inspiring me to see the better side of things and
perceive them as a learning and growing experience. But I would also sometimes find
him self-contradicting, wishing for things that are supposedly “meant to be.”

He once wished he could be more like his origin tribe, like his adventurous and
resourceful young father and his compatriot wind-beaten, bold seafarers audaciously
roaring into high seas. He would often tell proudly of his origins from the sea - how
boisterously loud and gregarious the people in his homeland are, how his father used
to shoulder his family through the depressing post-Vietnam-War thicks and thins trying
to scrape out a living in the deep seas or the high mountains - yet often unfavorably
puts himself in second fiddle to his people, saying how much less of a daring person,
how much withdrawn and incapable he is. Yet he didn’t realize how enterprising and
fearless he is much like his people, sticking to his course with grit and staying loud
without letting others put him down. I admire how he stay relentless and curious in his
pursuit of knowingness and wisdom - ardently staying ahead of his coursework,
bringing the most random and niggling Math and Physics questions into passionate
discussions, while having to study for the notoriously demanding National Competition
for Excellent Student - the most intellectually competitive contest in the country,
harvesting an enviable Second Prize in the end. His work ethic is unlike any other–in
the same year, he was also leading the unlikeliest, controversial group of over 100
people preparing for the school prom for 400 seniors. He doesn’t know he shouldn’t
expect himself to be any different, given what a leader and daring intellectual he is.

He once wished he could be a little bit more like his surrounding circle of friends, most
of whom come from the Blithe North of Hue City - opposite from his Worry South
home, and are seemingly different from him, in terms of interests, upbringing and
worldviews. He sometimes wondered how life would be so different if he was to be
born in my half of the city, that he would be more easygoing, that he could take life less
seriously and be comfortable with “dabbing shoulders” with his football fellows, and
less of a planner and sometimes over-thinker that he is. Yet he didn’t realize we all
cherish a friend like him for embracing stuff in life without being judgemental or
expectations, instead with a welcoming and always-learning attitude, led by curiosity.
He is so good at observing differences and life's unexpected circumstances, and
coming to accept it as it is, appreciating and cherishing everything given to him as a
learning experience. The proof is nothing further than our friendship. No one would
expect us to be best friends in the first place, assuming the difference between me–a
spontaneous sports and games fanatic and innate diplomat, “an outgoing orangutan”-
and him–a visionary leader and philosopher, “a night owl”. Yet our connection has
blossomed into a bond free from expectations – we have grown to be grateful for each
other’s unique traits and uniqueness and have each other grown more confident in
ourselves while pushing each other out of our comfort zones (I planned on studying
abroad thanks to him, and he plays soccer thanks to me); together we nurture the
freedom to experiment, experience and grow. And I believe Hien also connects with
any other being with self-awareness and a mindset of freedom and learning, despite all
the differences in worldviews and beliefs.

He once wished he could be a little bit more like his teacher, who is passionate and
purposeful, with a crystal clear focus on following her convictions and serving her
contributions to the goodness of others. Yet he didn’t realize he was also throwing
himself to the concern for others’ wellbeing, sometimes at the expense of his own
ends. He would always be that empathetic listener and advocate, and spare no effort
to be a part of the solution. Albeit not always clear about what he would like to do
about his future, he is adamant about giving back to the community and contributing
to the goodness of others, in whatever way. Now he’s committing to this cause through
bringing education and mental health access to everyone. His recent project, Nest
Care, is devoted to removing stigma around mental health problems, which are still
heavily embedded in a developing locality like Hue, and breaking down barriers to
mental health resource access among young people. Supporting him throughout the
project, I could see his pleasure in interacting with local schoolchildren through
story-telling, dancing freely and making creative arts and leading open discussions
about mental health. More importantly, instead of being a one-strike initiative, the
project persists in its educational role of bringing mental health to more young people,
through discussions with local school teachers around incorporating social emotional
learning into the school curriculum, via after-school learning sessions, extracurricular
or school climate surveys. The initiatives have been thoroughly considered at one
school and proceeded to be implemented - an inexhaustible source of meaning and
inspiration for him to continue his action.

Other than expecting him to be a little better at soccer, I don’t expect him to be nothing
more or less - the person he is, full of convictions and curiosity, mindful and observant,
purposeful and committed to the wider good, and our long-standing relationship glued
by respect for diversity and willingness to learn and grow. There’s only one thing I
would wish: that he would always believe in himself and his goodness, and thus can
find a community like Harvard where he can be the most out of the leader, the
companion, and the compassionate contributor that he is.