True Christian Courtesy

Jan 11-14

Miscellaneous Notes

Let not corrupt communication Eph 4v29

Filthy words and Jesting

Filthy communication

Speech salt

Evil speaking

Things to study

Speech, speak,speaketh, spoke, communicate, communicateth,

Speecheth, speeches.

How should true christians talk in theirs families, churches and Job places?

Does my words has something to do with my salvation?

Ephesians 4:29

29 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is
good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

What does mouth speaketh?

Proverbs 12:23

23 A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth

foolishness.

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Matthew 12:34-37

[34]O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of
the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.

[35]A good man out of the good treasure of the heart bringeth forth good things:
and an evil man out of the evil treasure bringeth forth evil things.

[36]But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give
account thereof in the day of judgment.

[37]For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be
condemned.

Note: Mouth speaketh the abundance of the heart.

What is corrupt communication?

Colossians 3:8-10

8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy
communication out of your mouth.

9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

10 And have put on the new man, which is renewed in knowledge after the image
of him that created him:

Note: Corrupt communication is equated to filthy communication.

Ephesians 5:3-4

3 But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named
among you, as becometh saints;

4 Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but
rather giving of thanks.

Ecclesiastes 10:12-14

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12 The words of a wise man's mouth are gracious; but the lips of a fool will
swallow up himself.

13 The beginning of the words of his mouth is foolishness: and the end of his talk
is mischievous madness.

14 A fool also is full of words: a man cannot tell what shall be; and what shall be
after him, who can tell him?

What does foolish lip speaketh?

Proverbs 18:6-8

6 A fool's lips enter into contention, and his mouth calleth for strokes.

7 A fool's mouth is his destruction, and his lips are the snare of his soul.

8 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost
parts of the belly.

Proverbs 10:19

19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips
is wise.

Ecclesiastes 5:3

3 For a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool's voice is
known by multitude of words.

What is remedy to foolish talking?

Proverbs 10:19

19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips
is wise.

Proverbs 17:27-28

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27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of
an excellent spirit.

28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth
his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

Psalms 39:1

1 To the chief Musician, even to Jeduthun, A Psalm of David. I said, I will take
heed to my ways, that I sin not with my tongue: I will keep my mouth with a
bridle, while the wicked is before me.

James 1:19

19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to

speak, slow to wrath:

James 3:2

2 For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a
perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body.

Ephesians 4:29-32

[29]Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is
good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.

[30]And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of
redemption.

[31]Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be
put away from you, with all malice:

[32]And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as

God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

What is evil speaking?

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Evil speaking: Lev 19:16; 2Sa 19:27; Psa 15:3, Psa 50:20, Psa 101:5, Psa 140:11;
Pro 6:19, Pro 10:18; Pro 18:8, Pro 25:23, Pro 26:20; Jer 6:28, Jer 9:4; Rom 1:29-30;
1Ti 3:11, 1Ti 5:13; 2Ti 3:3; Tit 2:3, Tit 3:2; Jas 4:11; 1Pe 2:1; 2Pe 2:10-11; Jud 1:8-
10; Rev 12:10.

What can the mouth of righteous speaketh?

Colossians 4:6

6 Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how
ye ought to answer every man.

Please check these references: Deu 11:19; 1Ch 16:24; Psa 37:30-31, Psa 40:9-10,
Psa 45:2, Psa 66:16; Psa 71:15-18, Psa 71:23-24, Psa 78:3-4, Psa 105:2, Psa 119:13,
Psa 119:46; Pro 10:21, Pro 15:4, Pro 15:7; Pro 16:21-24, Pro 22:17-18, Pro 25:11-
12; Ecc 10:12.

Titus 2:7-8

7 In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing

uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity,

8 Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part
may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.

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O, put away the harsh and critical speech. Do not excuse yourself upon the
ground that it is natural for you to speak in a certain way. Never say, "It is my
way to be rough and outspoken," and deem that that is reason enough why you
may indulge in the habit. Rend your heart, and not your garment, and turn unto
the Lord. Seek to show your love for those for whom Christ has died. And when
the righteous nation that keeps the truth, marches in, may you be among that
victorious company that shall stand before the great white throne, ascribing
salvation unto God, and to the Lamb. You may all have the privilege of standing
with that blood-washed throng who have overcome through the blood of the
Lamb and by the word of their testimony. How your heart will bound with joy, as
you hear the "Well done, thou good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy
of thy Lord."

If you do not work the works of Christ, there will be those who will rise up in that
decisive day to condemn you. The psalmist asks, "Lord, who shall abide in thy
tabernacle? Who shall dwell in thy holy hill? He that walketh uprightly, and
worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart. He that backbiteth
not with his tongue, nor doeth evil to his neighbor, nor taketh up a reproach
against his neighbor." When any one comes to you with a tale about your
neighbor, you should refuse to hear it. You should say to him, "Have you spoken
of this matter to the individual concerned?" If he has not done so, tell him he
should obey the Bible rule, and go first to his brother, and tell him his fault
privately, and in love. If the directions of God were carried out, the flood-gates of
gossip would be closed.

When your brethren and neighbors come in to see you, talk of the wonderful love
of Jesus. Rejoice in his intercession for lost man. Tell your friends of the love that
you have for their souls, because they are the purchase of the blood of Christ.
God forbid that we should make the pathway of other weary travelers harder by
magnifying their errors, and by sitting in judgment upon their actions. God help
us, that we may speak words of comfort and hope and courage to cheer the life of
the lonely, and discouraged, and erring. Let us be like-minded one toward

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another, and not differ in opinion, merely for the sake of being on the opposite
side from our brother. Throw all the sunlight you possibly can, into the pathway
of others. It will be dark enough for them, even if you do this; for Satan presses
his darkness upon every soul. Let the beams of the Sun of Righteousness shine
upon your fellow-pilgrims, that they may rejoice in the Lord. This you can do in
your home missionary work, in your neighborhood missionary work, and in your
church missionary work. Let your light shine forth in such clear, steady rays, that
no man may stand up in the judgment, and say, "Why did not you tell me about
this truth? Why did you not care for my soul? Why did you love the world and its
amusements so much, that you impressed me with the thought that they could
not be wrong? Why did you not walk in the path cast up for the ransomed of the
Lord to walk in, and make straight paths for your feet? You knew that we were in
darkness, and your crooked steps have led us on into utter ruin."

O may God help us! There is only a little time left for us to prepare for the eternal
world. If you have wronged any one, you should go right to him, and take him by
the hand, and say, "I am sorry I have injured you, by thought, or word, or act."
Heaven would look with approval upon such a scene. We want all this dry, cold
Phariseeism broken down. We want the spirit and power of God to work with our
efforts in the Sabbath-school, in the church, in the offices of publication, in our
institutions of learning, and in our sanitariums. We want the abiding presence of
Jesus with every individual member of our churches RH August 28, 1888, par. 11-
14

Your severe words and harsh manner of speech show that you have not learned
from Christ the lesson of meekness and lowliness. The Lord desires you to lay
aside your spirit of wrath and be disrobed of your war garments. Your
contentious spirit is the result of your inherited and cultivated tendencies. Put
on the robe of Christ's righteousness. Let not one word be spoken that is not
subdued by the Spirit of God. Let your heart break in tenderness before God.
Become as a little child. The Lord has not appointed to you the work of dictating

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to others. You are to be an example to those connected with you in preparing the
way of the Lord and removing the stumbling blocks. 18LtMs, Ms 103, 1903, par.
11

Language to Be an Outward Expression of Inward Grace—The chief requisite of

language is that it be pure and kind and true—"the outward expression of an
inward grace." ... The best school for this language study is the home.

Kind words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul. The Scripture says of
Christ that grace was poured into His lips, that He might "know how to speak a
word in season to him that is weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your speech be
alway with grace," "that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Voice Culture Should Be Given in the Home—Instruction in vocal culture should

be given in the home circle. Parents should teach their children to speak so plainly
that those who are listening can understand every word that is said. They should
teach them to read the Bible in clear, distinct utterance, in a way that will honor
God. And let not those who kneel round the family altar put their faces in their
hands and in their chair when they address God. Let them lift up their heads and,
with holy awe and boldness, come to the throne of grace.

Be pure in speech. Cultivate a soft and persuasive, not a harsh and dictatorial,
tone of voice. Give the children lessons in voice culture. Train their habits of
speech, until no coarse or rough words will come spontaneously from their lips
when any trial comes to them.

Voice culture is a subject that has much to do with the health of students. The
youth should be taught how to breathe properly and how to read in such a way
that no unnatural strain shall come on the throat and lungs, but that the work
shall be shared by the abdominal muscles. Speaking from the throat, letting the
sound come from the upper part of the vocal organs, impairs the health of these

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organs and decreases their efficiency. The abdominal muscles are to do the
heaviest part of the labor, the throat being used as a channel. Many have died
who might have lived had they been taught how to use the voice correctly. The
right use of the abdominal muscles in reading and speaking will prove a remedy
for many voice and chest difficulties and the means of prolonging life.

The Effect of Harsh, Scolding Words—In a home where harsh, fretful, scolding
words are spoken, a child cries much; and upon its tender sensibilities are
impressed the marks of unhappiness and discord. Then, mothers, let your
countenance be full of sunshine. Smile, if you can, and the infant's mind and heart
will reflect the light of your countenance as the polished plate of an artist portrays
the human features. Be sure, mothers, to have an indwelling Christ so that on
your child's plastic mind may be impressed the divine likeness.

Let There Be No Jarring Note—Allow nothing like strife or dissension to come into
the home. Speak gently. Never raise your voice to harshness. Keep yourselves
calm. Put away faultfinding and all untruthfulness. Tell the children that you
want to help them to prepare for a holy heaven, where all is peace, where not
one jarring note is heard. Be patient with them in their trials, which may look
small to you but which are large to them.

When fathers and mothers are converted, there will be a thorough conversion of
their principles of management. Their thoughts will be converted; their tongues
will be converted....

There will be no loud, angry talking in the home. The words will be of a
character to soothe and bless the hearer.... Take all the ugly features out of the
voice.

We must subdue a hasty temper and control our words, and in this we shall gain
great victories. Unless we control our words and temper, we are slaves to Satan.

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We are in subjection to him. He leads us captive. All jangling and unpleasant,
impatient, fretful words are an offering presented to his satanic majesty. And it
is a costly offering, more costly than any sacrifice we can make for God; for it
destroys the peace and happiness of whole families, destroys health, and is
eventually the cause of forfeiting an eternal life of happiness.

Shall the Words Cause Sunshine or Shadow?—It is important that children and
youth should be trained to guard their words and deeds; for their course of action
causes sunshine or shadow, not only in their own home, but also with all with
whom they come in contact.

Unhappiness is often caused by an unwise use of the talent of speech. The word
of God does not authorize anyone to speak harshly, thereby creating
disagreeable feelings and unhappiness in the family. The other members of the
family lose their respect for the one who speaks thus, when if he would restrain
his feelings, he might win the confidence and affection of all.

Pleasant Words to Children; Respectful Words to Parents—Let only pleasant

words be spoken by parents to their children, and respectful words by children to
their parents. Attention must be given to these things in the home life; for if, in
their character building, children form right habits, it will be much easier for them
to be taught by God and to be obedient to His requirements.

Shun Vulgarity in Every Form—Fathers and mothers, husbands and wives,

brothers and sisters, do not educate yourselves in the line of vulgarity of action,
word, or thought. Coarse sayings, low jests, lack of politeness and true courtesy in
the home life, will become as second nature to you and will unfit you for the
society of those who are becoming sanctified through the truth. The home is too
sacred a place to be polluted by vulgarity, sensuality, recrimination, and scandal.
Silence the evil word; put away the unholy thought, for the True Witness weighs
every word, sets a value on every action, and declares, "I know thy works."

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Low, cheap, common talk should find no place in the family. When the heart is
pure, rich treasures of wisdom will flow forth.

Indulge in no foolish talking in your house. Even very young children will be
benefited by "the form of sound words." But idle and foolish words exchanged
between father and mother will lead to the same kind of words among the
children; while right, candid, truthful, and serious words will lead to the same in
all the household and will lead to right actions also.

The Evils of Angry, Hasty Words—When you speak angry words to your children,
you are helping the cause of the enemy of all righteousness. Let every child have a
fair chance from babyhood up. The work of teaching should begin in childhood,
not accompanied by harshness and fretting, but in kindness and patience; and this
instruction should be continued through all their years to manhood and
womanhood.

Let every family seek the Lord in earnest prayer for help to do the work of God.
Let them overcome the habits of hasty speech and the desire to blame others.
Let them study to be kind and courteous in the home, to form habits of
thoughtfulness and care.

What harm is wrought in the family circle by the utterance of impatient words,
for the impatient utterance of one leads another to retort in the same spirit and
manner. Then come words of retaliation, words of self-justification, and it is by
such words that a heavy, galling yoke is manufactured for your neck; for all
these bitter words will come back in a baleful harvest to your soul.

Hard words beat upon the heart through the ear, awakening to life the worst
passions of the soul and tempting men and women to break God's
commandments .... Words are as seeds which are planted.

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Passionate Words a Species of Swearing—Among the members of many families
there is practiced the habit of saying loose, careless things; and the habit of
tantalizing, of speaking harsh words, becomes stronger and stronger as it is
indulged, and thus many objectionable words are spoken that are after Satan's
order and not after the order of God.... Burning words of passion should never be
spoken, for in the sight of God and holy angels they are as a species of swearing.

How a Father Lost His Children's Confidence—My brother, your overbearing

words hurt your children. As they advance in years, their tendency to criticize will
grow. Faultfinding is corrupting your life and is extending to your wife and to your
children. Your children are not encouraged to give you their confidence or to
acknowledge their faults, because they know that your stern rebuke is sure to
follow. Your words are often as a desolating hail which breaks down tender
plants. It is impossible to estimate the harm thus done. Your children practice
deception in order to avoid the hard words you speak. They will evade the truth
to escape censure and punishment. A hard, cold command will do them no good.

A Suggestive Pledge—It would be well for every man to sign a pledge to speak
kindly in his home, to let the law of love rule his speech. Parents, never speak
hastily. If your children do wrong, correct them, but let your words be full of
tenderness and love. Every time you scold, you lose a precious opportunity of
giving a lesson in forbearance and patience. Let love be the most prominent
feature in your correction of wrong.

Table Conversation—How many families season their daily meals with doubt
and questionings! They dissect the characters of their friends and serve them up
as a dainty dessert. A precious bit of slander is passed around the board to be
commented upon, not only by adults, but by children. In this God is dishonored.
AH 435.1-440.1

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You are in need of conversion. You are often harsh to those with whom you are
associated in labor. To many persons you are often coarse and rough in your
speech. You are constitutionally imperious. You are not in possession of the
Christlike sympathy that should be manifested toward those in need of
encouragement. You should cultivate the Christian graces of charity and
gentleness. Now, just now, you need the grace of God. It is for your present good
and eternal interest closely to examine yourself, whether you be in the faith.
Prove your own self; for unless Jesus Christ is abiding in your heart, your speech
is objectionable. You are called upon to repent and be converted, that your sins
may be blotted out.16LtMs, Lt 198, 1901, par. 8

True Courtesy Must Be Motivated by Love—The most careful cultivation of the

outward proprieties of life is not sufficient to shut out all fretfulness, harsh
judgment, and unbecoming speech. True refinement will never be revealed so
long as self is considered as the supreme object. Love must dwell in the heart. A
thoroughgoing Christian draws his motives of action from his deep heart-love for
his Master. Up through the roots of his affection for Christ springs an unselfish
interest in his brethren.

Of all things that are sought, cherished, and cultivated, there is nothing so
valuable in the sight of God as a pure heart, a disposition imbued with
thankfulness and peace.

If the divine harmony of truth and love exists in the heart, it will shine forth in
words and actions.... The spirit of genuine benevolence must dwell in the heart.
Love imparts to its possessor grace, propriety, and comeliness of deportment.
Love illuminates the countenance and subdues the voice; it refines and elevates
the entire man. It brings him into harmony with God, for it is a heavenly
attribute.

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True courtesy is not learned by the mere practice of rules of etiquette. Propriety
of deportment is at all times to be observed; wherever principle is not
compromised, consideration of others will lead to compliance with accepted
customs; but true courtesy requires no sacrifice of principle to conventionality. It
ignores caste. It teaches self-respect, respect for the dignity of man as man, a
regard for every member of the great human brotherhood.

Love Is Expressed in Looks, Words, and Acts—Above all things, parents should
surround their children with an atmosphere of cheerfulness, courtesy, and love. A
home where love dwells and where it finds expression in looks, in words, in acts,
is a place where angels delight to dwell. Parents, let the sunshine of love, cheer,
and happy content enter your own hearts, and let its sweet influence pervade the
home. Manifest a kindly, forbearing spirit, and encourage the same in your
children, cultivating all those graces that will brighten the home life. The
atmosphere thus created will be to the children what air and sunshine are to the
vegetable world, promoting health and vigor of mind and body.

Gentle manners, cheerful conversation, and loving acts will bind the hearts of
children to their parents by the silken cords of affection and will do more to make
home attractive than the rarest ornaments that can be bought for gold.

Varied Temperaments Must Blend—It is in the order of God that persons of

varied temperament should associate together. When this is the case, each
member of the household should sacredly regard the feelings and respect the
rights of the others. By this means mutual consideration and forbearance will be
cultivated, prejudices will be softened, and rough points of character smoothed.
Harmony may be secured, and the blending of the varied temperaments may be a
benefit to each.

Nothing Will Atone for Lack of Courtesy—Those who profess to be followers of

Christ and are at the same time rough, unkind, and uncourteous in words and
deportment have not learned of Jesus. A blustering, overbearing, faultfinding

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man is not a Christian; for to be a Christian is to be Christlike. The conduct of
some professed Christians is so lacking in kindness and courtesy that their good is
evil spoken of. Their sincerity may not be doubted; their uprightness may not be
questioned, but sincerity and uprightness will not atone for a lack of kindness and
courtesy. The Christian is to be sympathetic as well as true, pitiful and courteous
as well as upright and honest.

Any negligence of acts of politeness and tender regard on the part of brother for
brother, any neglect of kind, encouraging words in the family circle, parents
with children and children with parents, confirms habits which make the
character unchristlike. But if these little things are performed, they become great
things. They increase to large proportions. They breathe a sweet perfume in the
life which ascends to God as holy incense. AH 425.4 - AH 427.3.

They will be educated in patience, kindness, affability, and helpfulness. They

will practice true Christian courtesy, bearing in mind that Christ, their
companion, cannot approve of harsh, unkind words or feelings. Their words will
be purified. The power of speech will be regarded as a precious talent, lent
them to do a high and holy work.— ChS 224.3.

Not one word is to be spoken unadvisedly. No evil speaking, no frivolous talk,

no fretful repining or impure suggestion, will escape the lips of him who is
following Christ. The apostle Paul, writing by the Holy Spirit, says, "Let no corrupt
communication proceed out of your mouth." Ephesians 4:29. A corrupt
communication does not mean only words that are vile. It means any
expression contrary to holy principles and pure and undefiled religion. It
includes impure hints and covert insinuations of evil. Unless instantly resisted,
these lead to great sin.

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Upon every family, upon every individual Christian, is laid the duty of barring the
way against corrupt speech. When in the company of those who indulge in foolish
talk, it is our duty to change the subject of conversation if possible. By the help of
the grace of God we should quietly drop words or introduce a subject that will
turn the conversation into a profitable channel.

It is the work of parents to train their children to proper habits of speech. The
very best school for this culture is the home life. From the earliest years the
children should be taught to speak respectfully and lovingly to their parents and
to one another. They should be taught that only words of gentleness, truth, and
purity must pass their lips. Let the parents themselves be daily learners in the
school of Christ. Then by precept and example they can teach their children the
use of "sound speech, that cannot be condemned." Titus 2:8. This is one of the
greatest and most responsible of their duties. COL 337.2 - COL 337.4.

I have this message for you from the Lord: Be kind in speech, gentle in action.
Guard yourself carefully, for you are inclined to be severe and dictatorial, and to
say rash things. The Lord speaks to you, saying, Watch and pray, lest ye enter
into temptation. Harsh expressions grieve the Lord; unwise words do harm. I am
charged to say to you, Be gentle in your speech; watch well your words; let no
harshness come into your utterances or into your gestures. Bring into all you do
and say the fragrance of Christlikeness. Let not natural traits of character mar and
spoil your work. You are to help and strengthen the tempted. Let not self appear
in rash words. Christ has given His life for the flock, and for all for whom you
labor. Let no word of yours balance souls in the wrong direction. In the minister of
Christ there must be revealed Christlikeness of character.

Rash, overbearing expressions do not harmonize with the sacred work that
Christ has given His ministers to do. When the daily experience is one of looking
unto Jesus and learning of Him, you will reveal a wholesome, harmonious
character. Soften your representations, and let not condemnatory words be

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spoken. Learn of the great Teacher. Words of kindness and sympathy will do good
as a medicine, and will heal souls that are in despair. The knowledge of the word
of God brought into the practical life will have a healing, soothing power.
Harshness of speech will never bring blessing to yourself or to any other soul
GW 163.1 - GW 163.2.

Every man has corrupt and sinful habits that must be overcome by vigorous
warfare. Every soul is required to fight the fight of faith. If one is a follower of
Christ, he cannot be sharp in deal, he cannot be hardhearted, devoid of
sympathy. He cannot be coarse in his speech. He cannot be full of pomposity
and self-esteem. He cannot be overbearing, nor can he use harsh words, and
censure and condemn.— 2MCP 540.2.

A Power in the Communication of Knowledge—We may have knowledge, but

unless we know how to use the voice correctly, our work will be a failure. Unless
we can clothe our ideas in appropriate language, of what avail is our education?
Knowledge will be of little advantage to us unless we cultivate the talent of
speech; but it is a wonderful power when combined with the ability to speak wise,
helpful words, and to speak them in a way that will command attention.—
Testimonies for the Church 6:380.

Impression by Deep Feeling and Pathos—However great a man's knowledge, it is

of no avail unless he is able to communicate it to others. Let the pathos of your
voice, its deep feeling, make an impression on hearts.—Testimonies for the
Church 7:268.

A Sacred Trust—The gift of speech is a valuable talent. Never despise or demit this
gift. Thank God for entrusting it to you. It is a precious gift, to be sanctified,
elevated, and ennobled. As a sacred trust, the voice should be used to honor God.
It should never utter harsh, impure words or words of faultfinding. The gospel of
Christ is to be proclaimed by the voice.

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With the talent of speech we are to communicate the truth as we have
opportunity. It should ever be used in God's service; but this talent is grievously
abused. Words are spoken which do great harm. Christ declared, "Every idle word
that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment. For
by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned"
[Matthew 12:36, 37].—Manuscript 21, 1899.

Holy Spirit's Power in the Cultivation of the Voice—Encourage all to use simple,
pure, elevated language. Speech, pronunciation, and voice—cultivate these
talents, not under any great elocutionist of the world, but under the power of
the Holy Spirit of God.—Letter 83, 1898.

Courage, Cheer, and Hope—Talk of the goodness and love of Jesus. You and I
have been granted the blessing of speech, which is a talent of great value. It is to
be used in talking of those things which increase love for Jesus. Let us talk of His
mercy, of the gracious words He spoke to encourage and comfort, to bring hope
and joy and love to our hearts.... Let us brighten the remaining years of our lives
with words that bring courage and cheer and hope. The enemy will cast his
shadow between Christ and our souls. He will tempt us to talk in a doubting,
faithless way. But when disagreeable thoughts seek for utterance, do not give
expression to them. Talk faith. Talk of the grace of our Lord and Saviour, of His
love and mercy, of the beauty of His character. Let it become natural for the lips
to give utterance to precious, inspiring thoughts.—Letter 14, 1900.

Conversion of the Tongue—The tongue is an unruly member, but it should not be

so. It should be converted; for the talent of speech is a very precious talent. Christ
is ever ready to impart of His riches, and we should gather the jewels that come
from Him, that, when we speak, these jewels may drop from our lips.—
Testimonies for the Church 6:173, 174.

A Means in the Advancement of His Kingdom—Speech is a talent, and can be

used to honor or dishonor God. We are accountable for our use of the talent of

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words.... The talent of speech, of memory, of property, all are to accumulate for
the glory of God, to advance His kingdom. VSS 13.3 - VSS 16.1.

As a sacred trust the voice should be used to honour God. It should never utter
harsh, impure words, or words of fault-finding. The Gospel of Christ is to be
proclaimed by the voice. With the talent of speech we are to communicate the
truth as we have opportunity. It should ever be used in God's service; but this
talent is grievously abused. Words are spoken which do great harm. Christ
declared, "Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in
the day of judgment. For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words
thou shalt be condemned.PrT September 14, 1899, par. 4.

I am instructed of the Lord that ministers, colored laborers, often are in need of
Bible education, to be kind in their own family, and never to practice slavery
customs used by slavery masters in harsh speech and their own disorderly
habits. Do your best to expect you are to change your own ideas, colored
fathers and mothers, if you expect the white to treat you with compassion and
sympathy and affection. Put away, ministering colored brethren who have wife
and children, your harsh, authoritative practices, for the Lord will not accept
your work; but consider "I am now a member of the Lord's family and I am to
sample His family in this world in having my lips [and] manners sanctified, my
speech without passion. I am not authorized to be a tyrant because I have
witnessed so much tyranny in those masters who have considered the slaves
were [their] own flesh, heart, mind, soul and body, when God is their Owner.
PCO 90.2

Remedy

The religion of Jesus Christ never degrades the receiver. If it finds men and
women earthly, common, coarse, unkindly in words, harsh in speech, selfish and

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self-caring, truth received in the heart commences its purifying, refining process.
In words, in dress, in all our habits, there is seen reformation and those things
that please God. Then all the world may see its influence in the transforming
process.

Truth refines the taste and sanctifies the judgment. It elevates and ennobles, and
is silently and constantly doing its leavening work till the whole being is cleansed
and made a vessel unto honor, under the operation of the Holy Spirit, to make the
receiver of truth fit for the society of pure and sinless angels.... OHC 34.3 - OHC
34.4

Some pride themselves on being outspoken, blunt, and rough, and they call this
frankness; but it is not rightly named. It is selfishness of the deepest dye. These
persons may have virtues; they may be liberal and have kind impulses; but their
discourteous manners render them almost insupportable. They criticise, they
wound, they say disagreeable things. Does the character they are cultivating
represent Jesus? Will it fit them for the society of heaven? We shall do well to
examine ourselves, to see what manner of spirit we are cherishing. Let us learn to
speak gently, quietly, even under circumstances the most trying. Let us control
not only our words, but our thoughts and imagination. Let us be kind, courteous,
in our words and deportment. There is a great neglect in this respect. We do not
adorn the doctrines we profess. We are not what we might be, nor what God
would have us to be. Those who hope to be the companions of holy angels,
should possess refined manners. If the principles of the Christian religion are
carried out in the daily life, there will be a kind thoughtfulness for others, for this
was characteristic of Christ. Then, although a man may be poor, he will have true
dignity; for he is God's nobleman. GW92 431.1.

The followers of Christ are represented by him as the salt of the earth, and the
light of the world. Without the saving influence of Christians, the world would
perish in its own corruption. Look upon the class of professed Christians

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described, who are careless of their dress and persons, and loose in their business
transactions, as their dress represents, coarse, uncourteous and rough in their
manners, low in their conversation; and at the same time they regard these
miserable traits as marks of true humility and Christian life. Think you if our
Saviour was upon earth, he would point to them as being the salt of the earth,
and the light of the world? No, never! Christians are elevated in their
conversation, and although they believe it to be a sin to condescend to foolish
flattery, they are courteous, kind, and benevolent. Their words are those of
sincerity and truth. They are faithful in their deal with their brethren, and with the
world. In their dress they avoid superfluity and display; but their clothing will be
neat, not gaudy, modest, and arranged upon the person with order and taste.
Especial care will be taken to dress in a manner that will show a sacred regard for
the holy Sabbath, and the worship of God. The line of demarkation between such
a class and the world will be too plain to be mistaken. The influence of believers
would be ten-fold greater if men and women who embrace the truth, who have
been formerly careless and slack in their habits, would be so elevated, and
sanctified through the truth, as to observe habits of neatness, order, and good
taste in their dress. Our God is a God of order, and he is not in any degree pleased
with distraction, with filthiness, or with sin. 2SM 476.1.

Christ's Grace Changes the Whole Man—The apostle exhorts us, "As he which
hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; because it is
written, Be ye holy; for I am holy." The grace of Christ changes the whole man,
making the coarse refined, the rough gentle, the selfish generous. It controls the
temper and the voice. Its outworking is seen in politeness and tender regard
shown by brother for brother, in kind, encouraging words and unselfish actions.
An angel-presence, is in the home. The life breathes forth a sweet perfume, which
as holy incense ascends to God.

Love is manifested in kindness, gentleness, forbearance, and longsuffering. The

expression of the countenance is changed. The peace of heaven is revealed.

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There is seen a habitual gentleness, a more than human love. Humanity becomes
a partaker of divinity. Christ is honored by perfection of character. As these
changes are perfected, angels break forth in rapturous song, and God and Christ
rejoice over souls fashioned after the divine similitude.

Pleasant Tones and Correct Language—We should accustom ourselves to speak in

pleasant tones; to use pure, correct language, and words that are kind and
courteous. Kind words are as dew and gentle showers to the soul. The scripture
says of Christ that grace was poured into His lips, that He might "know how to
speak a word in season to him that is weary." And the Lord bids us, "Let your
speech be alway with grace," "that it may minister grace unto the hearers."

Some with whom you are brought in contact will be rough and uncourteous, but
because of this, do not be less courteous yourself. He who wishes to preserve his
own self-respect must be careful not to wound needlessly the self-respect of
others. This rule should be sacredly observed toward the dullest, the most
blundering. 3SM 239.3 - 3SM 240.2.

Sour Christians—The good qualities which many possess are hidden, and instead
of attracting souls to Christ they repulse them. If these persons could see the
influence of their uncourteous ways and unkind expressions upon unbelievers,
and how offensive is such conduct in the sight of God, they would reform their
habits, for a lack of courtesy is one of the greatest stumbling blocks to sinners.
Selfish, complaining, sour Christians bar the way, so that sinners do not care to
approach Christ.—Our High Calling, 229.

Hard Words—Hard words beat upon the heart through the ear, awakening to life
the worst passions of the soul and tempting men and women to break God's
commandments.—The Adventist Home, 439.

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The Correcting of Children—Harsh, angry words are not of heavenly origin.
Scolding and fretting never help. Instead, they stir up the worst feelings of the
human heart. When your children do wrong and are filled with rebellion, and you
are tempted to speak and act harshly, wait before you correct them. Give them
an opportunity to think, and allow your temper to cool.—Child Guidance, 246.

Rude Angles and Rough Points—The sharp, rude angles and rough points in our
character, the manifestations of selfishness in unkind words and actions, tear
away the delicate fabric of human love and happiness.—The Review and Herald,
July 18, 1893.

Servants of the Wicked One—He who drinks in the spirit of Christ will let it flow
forth in kind words, and be expressed in courteous deportment.... But those who
profess the truth and at the same time are rough, and sour, and unkind in words
and deportment, have not learned of Jesus; all these manifestations show that
they are yet servants of the wicked one.—Our High Calling, 238.

Education of Our Lips—Let us make a covenant with God that we will not speak
one word of envy or unkindness. Let not your lips dishonor God by fretful words
of complaint and dissatisfaction. Educate your lips to praise Him from whom all
blessings flow.—The Review and Herald, May 1, 1888.

Unnecessary Disputing—Unless some question of vital importance is involved, be

ready to yield your own opinion rather than to create a dispute. Even though you
may by argument gain your point, yet you may place a burden upon someone
else, far outweighing the advantage you think you will gain. It is hard to heal the
wounds caused by harsh words.

Often you may preserve peace by guarding the tongue. Never introduce into your
conversation matters that will create strife, hurting your own soul and the souls of

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others.—Manuscript 60, 1903.

Hasty, Impatient Speech—In the use of language there is perhaps no error that
old and young are more ready to pass over lightly in themselves than hasty,
impatient speech. They think it a sufficient excuse to plead, "I was off my guard,
and did not really mean what I said." But God's Word does not treat it lightly. The
Scripture says: "Seest thou a man that is hasty in his words? there is more hope of
a fool than of him." Proverbs 29:20. "He that hath no rule over his own spirit is
like a city that is broken down, and without walls." Proverbs 25:28.

In one moment, by the hasty, passionate, careless tongue, may be wrought evil
that a whole lifetime's repentance cannot undo. Oh, the hearts that are broken,
the friends estranged, the lives wrecked, by the harsh, hasty words of those who
might have brought help and healing!—Education, 236, 237.

A Well-Regulated Temper—It is the "soft answer" which "turneth away wrath."

Revenge has never conquered a foe. A well-regulated temper exerts a good
influence on all around; but "he that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city
that is broken down, and without walls."—Testimonies for the Church 4:367, 368.

Tirades and Swearing—A large share of life's happiness is dependent upon our
manners and actions toward others. The sharp word must be left unspoken. The
passionate words must be quenched in the love of Jesus Christ; for if this dross is
not cleansed from the soul, there is no hope of eternal life. The selfish temper,
and tirade of passionate words is placed in the same dark list with swearing.—
Letter 6a, 1893.

Evil Thinking and Speaking—There is nothing Christ needs so much as agents who
feel the necessity of representing Him. Evilspeaking and evil-thinking are ruinous
to the soul.—Manuscript 8a, 1888.

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No Words of Irritation—God desires your words to be life-giving. Not a word of
irritation is to be spoken. However provoked you may feel, keep back every word
that would stir up the evil in another heart. Speech is a great talent; and God
desires every one of you to reach the standard of Christlikeness. Let every word
you speak bless and elevate.—Manuscript 65, 1901.

Criticism of Others—There is often a great temptation to talk of things which do

not profit the speaker or the hearer, but which bring evil and barrenness to both.
Our probationary time is too brief to be spent in dwelling upon the shortcomings
of others.—Testimonies for the Church 4:135.

Sanctified Lips—The truly converted man has no inclination to think or talk of the
faults of others. His lips are sanctified, and as God's witness he testifies that the
grace of Christ has transformed his heart.... Those only will enter heaven who
have overcome the temptation to think and speak evil.—Sons and Daughters of
God, 348.

Today's Cannibals—Slanderous speeches, which is in truth cannibalism, will not

be spoken by those who are feeding on that which is the Bread of Life, the Word
of the living God, and delighting themselves on the marrow and fatness of God's
exceeding great and precious promises. Through Jesus Christ the soul is in
communion with the heavenly angels, and can have no desire to indulge in foolish
chit-chat conversation, to sit at the table with slanderers (cannibals). Jesus Christ
would have His children "laborers together with Him," prayerful, kind,
benevolent, and full of activity.—Letter 14a, 1893.

Seeds of Suspicion and Distrust—Let those who fear God and believe the truth
put a guard on their lips. Let them be determined not to speak words that will
injure the cause of God, or give a wrong representation of the work being done in
any of His institutions. Let them be careful not to speak words that will be a
temptation to someone else to withhold the confidence and the words of courage
that ought to be given to those who have been severely tried, and who, perhaps,

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have been working early and late to fulfill the many calls of duty coming to them,
until it seems as if the mind would give way under the strain. Often, at such times,
false impressions regarding such workers are made on minds by cruel words, full
of surmisings. The seeds of suspicion and distrust, like thistledown, are carried far
and wide, and can never be gathered up.—Manuscript 94, 1904.

Words the Holy Spirit Can Approve—The love of God in the heart will always lead
us to speak gentle words. "Charity (love) suffereth long and is kind; charity
envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself
unseemly, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil. Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but
rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things,
endureth all things. Charity never faileth."

Shall we not remember this? If the love of God is in our hearts, we shall not think
evil, we shall not be easily disturbed, we shall not give loose reign to passion, but
we will show that we are yoked up with Christ, and that the restraining power of
His Spirit leads us to speak words that He can approve. The yoke of Christ is the
restraint of the Holy Spirit, and when we become heated by passion, let us say,
No; I have Christ by my side, and I will not make Him ashamed of me by speaking
hot, fiery words VSS 141.2 - VSS 146.3.

No man can be a Christian without having the Spirit of Christ; and if he has the
Spirit of Christ, it will be manifested in kind words and a refined, courteous
deportment.... External change will testify to an internal change. The truth is the
sanctifier, the refiner. Received into the heart, it works with hidden power,
transforming the character. But those who profess to be followers of Christ, and
are at the same time rough, unkind, and uncourteous in words and deportment,
have not learned of Jesus. A blustering, overbearing, faultfinding man is not a
Christian; for to be a Christian is to be Christlike.... RC 305.3.

Spirituality May Be Killed by Criticism—When you are tempted to speak cross

words, pray for grace to resist the temptation. Remember that your children will

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speak as they hear you speaking. By your example you are educating them.
Remember that if you speak cross words to fellow church members, you would
speak the same kind of words in heaven, were you permitted to enter there....

After the family then comes the church. The influence of the family is to be such
that it will be a help and a blessing in the church. Never speak a word of
complaint or faultfinding. There are churches in which the spirituality has been
almost killed, because the spirit of backbiting has been allowed to enter. Why do
we speak words of blame and censure? To be silent is the strongest rebuke that
you can give to one who is speaking harsh, discourteous words to you. Keep
perfectly silent. Often silence is eloquence.CG 551.1 - CG 551.2.

The children of God should never be rough and discourteous in their bearing
toward one another. They should never blame and condemn. To those who want
to give vent to a spirit of faultfinding, I would say, Go out among the rocks and
stumps, and there relieve your mind of its evil thoughts; for these inanimate
objects will not be harmed by your words. Only your own soul will suffer. After
you have talked it all out, consider that it is written in the books of heaven what
manner of spirit you are of. Then come to God with a broken heart and a contrite
spirit, confess your need, and plead for His grace to make you one of His humble
children. Let the ambition you have be exercised in a way that will bless needy
souls 22LtMs, Ms 47, 1907, par. 12

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