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Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Show warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling

Relationships: Regulus Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, Bartemius Crouch Jr./Evan Rosier

Characters: Regulus Black, James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Peter Pettigrew, Evan Rosier

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe, Band Fic, Pining, Mutual Pining, Regulus Black
Needs a Hug, james and regulus are not the brightest, Fluff, Angst, Happy Ending, Jegulus Endgame,
sirius and remus are just in love, Marauders are a Band (Harry Potter), peter is so cool, regulus and evan
are bffs, Smut, Anal Sex, Oral Sex, regulus is cool and he knows it, descriptions of violence kinda,
Walburga and Orion Suck, Gay Regulus Black, Desi James Potter, Bisexual James Potter, regulus and sirius
have a good relationship, Miscommunication, the communication is so shit that the author herself gets fed up
with her characters sometimes

Language: English
Stats: Published: 2022-08-06 Completed: 2023-06-02 Words: 121,120 Chapters: 19/19 Comments: 1,214
Kudos: 8,148 Bookmarks: 2,519 Hits: 323,188

pink lemonade
moonysbookshelf

Chapter 4: night three: rome

Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

REGULUS

Regulus woke up that morning at 4am.

He was comfortably tucked into James’ side and was definitely naked. Right. Because him and James had fucked.

Jesus. This couldn’t be happening.

He felt wrong . Wrong for lying next to James. Wrong for liking it. Wrong for smiling at the small part of his brain that wished it could last.

He needed to go . So he pulled himself out of bed slowly, careful not to wake James up, put his clothes back on, and slipped out of the room.

When he got back to his own, he felt sick. Not because of the sex; but because of the feeling at the bottom of his stomach. Because
somewhere, deep down, he still cared. He had spent the last 4 years pushing James out of his head just for him to fuck it up.

What had he been thinking when he agreed to this tour? That he would see James and feel nothing? Do nothing? Of course not. He’d been
naive and spiteful when he’d agreed to the position and now here he was, shaking on the floor of some fucking Italian hotel.

But he could fix this. If nobody knew how he felt, if he ignored it, he could make it go away. He needed James to believe this was a one night
stand, that he wanted nothing more than the sex.

In some ways, he had already started that by leaving before morning. Perfect.

Somewhat comforted, he fell back asleep in his own bed. But after being back in James’ arms, nothing could stop him from waking up every
half an hour and, despite the summer heat, feeling horribly cold.

Breakfast that morning had been a disaster. He had to wear some stupid dress shirt because it was the only one he owned with collars big
enough to cover his neck when turned upwards. Fucking James couldn’t settle with emotional marks, he had to leave physical fucking marks
too.

He ran into Evan on the way to Peter’s room and, immediately after seeing the collar, Evan was turning red with laughter.

“You fucked him?” Evan said between fits of giggles. “Sorry, no. He fucked you .” He was having far too much fun.

“I hate you. You know that, right?” Regulus said, pushing Evan into the wall lightly before opening Peter’s door.

Breakfast was already set up when he walked in and just a few minutes after he sat down, James walked in, hickeys on full fucking display.

Great. Regulus couldn’t even go to a meal without being reminded of his tragic decision.

Remus looked at James then made direct eye contact with Regulus and Regulus could see his head turning. Remus was piecing it together.

When he did, he got up, excused himself for coffee and left.

Good . Regulus thought; he couldn’t deal with facing any more people who knew about it.

“Jesus James did you sleep with a fucking thorn bush?” Sirius asked, eyeing James but more specifically his neck .

Regulus felt Evan shaking with laughter beside him.

“I wish I had actually,” James said back, a little too loud. Regulus couldn’t help but roll his eyes (at both James and Evan who had not stopped
smiling ). Regulus saw it now: James was a fucking prick.

“Well gentlemen, what did I miss?” Remus asked, reappearing with more coffee.

Regulus couldn’t help himself. And also, this was where he proved to James that he didn’t give a decimal of a fuck.

“Nothing.” he said, keeping his voice even just like he’d taught himself to do, “Just James’ pathetic sex life.” He watched as James’ face turned
sour.

“Pathetic? Someone rated it an 8/10.” James’ voice was laced with anger. Good.

“Must’ve been pity.” Regulus replied easily. As it turned out, faking it was much easier than he’d imagined.

James’ phone started buzzing and, ignoring the conversation he turned to Remus, “I’m gonna take this and be back, yeah?”

Fucking. Coward.

--

The next time Regulus saw James was at the airport, as the group left for Rome.

James had pulled him aside for a moment while everyone was waiting. Regulus looked back, but everyone was busy with customs and nobody
seemed to notice their sudden absence.

“Reg, we should talk about it.” James started, his voice low and almost strained.

“Talk about what ?” Regulus was trying to act dumb, play it as if the sex was so meaningless that he couldn’t possibly understand what they
had to talk about. James calling him “Reg” throws him off, and almost makes his face turn red but he keeps himself in check.

“Come on, Reg” James sighed, using the fucking nickname again. “4 years, not a word, then you’re sleeping with me in my hotel, then you’re
gone.” he pinched his nose bridge and shook his head lightly, “Just tell me what to think, okay?”

“Listen, James. I left because we shouldn’t have done that, alright? There’s nothing to think, and there’s nothing to make a big deal about. And
I wasn’t the one who dropped contact 4 years ago.” And with that, Regulus turned away and walked back to the group. If he had spent a
second more looking at James and lying to him, he might’ve cried.

James, Peter, Sirius, and Remus got on the jet first, with Evan and Regulus farther behind because of their passports. When the two of them
finally made it on, James was staring.

“Look who’s coming along this time.” James said.

It went unnoticed by everyone but not by Regulus. The cruelty in the comment sucked the air out of his stomach.

He thought about the last night him and James shared, 4 years ago. The night just before James left for LA.

“Come with us.” James whispered, his bare body wrapped firmly around Regulus’.

Regulus smiled softly but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes, he knew it looked sad. “James..you know I can’t.” he sighed, gently kissing James’
jaw.

“Reg, you could. We’d make it work, you know? It would be like school, just the five of us.” James was talking faster now, trying to figure out
details in his head but Regulus gave him a hard look.

“We couldn’t, James. Please don’t do this.” Regulus said, his voice barely making a sound. He quietly kissed James hoping it would fix
everything and it did, just for that night .

“Regulus,” Evan called, snapping Regulus away from his thoughts. “Reg, come on, let’s go.” He said, pulling Regulus’ arm towards two seats
next to Peter.

Regulus looked at James again, unable to hide the hurt on his face and even though he could see regret from the earlier comment, he didn’t
care.

This was the new James. Cruel and a little too cold. But the new Regulus wasn’t much better. Equally as bitter, definitely more angry.

--

They landed late at night and went straight to their hotel rooms. The next day, the boys in the band had to go meet with interviewers and
venue staff, so Regulus spent the morning and much of the afternoon in bed under the false pretences of being tired.

He watched TV but couldn’t figure out how to work the subtitles so he sat there letting the words go over his head. He unpacked his suitcase
and tried not to think about how he’d inevitably repack it three days later. He ordered room service but couldn’t be arsed to open the door
when the employee delivered it, so he let it get cold outside the door.

Sometime before lunch, Evan had come around, knocking on his door and telling him to come. Regulus pretended to be asleep.

“I know you’re awake, Reg.” Evan said, he sounded tired. “Listen, we’re all going to be at lunch. Turn off the fucking TV and at least come sit
in my room so I know you’re alive.”

He tried a few more times but when he was exhausted from trying, or caring, he walked away. But not before he slipped his spare key card to
Regulus’ room under the door: proof that he could’ve come in but didn’t.

Regulus wished he had.

While his loneliness was self imposed, and likely necessary, he felt terrible. He felt tired in a way that he hadn’t in years.

On second thought, Regulus was glad he didn’t.

Someone else seeing him like this over James Potter would make his horrid revelation true. And he couldn’t afford for it to be true.

When he finally decided to walk to the lobby, hours after Evan’s visit, it was a mistake. He saw James, in the hallway, talking to a hotel
employee that was definitely laughing a little too hard at a joke.

He turned around, went back into his room and threw up. He hadn’t eaten anything since dinner the night before so he really wasn’t sure what
was coming out, but regardless, it drained him.

Too exhausted to make it back to his bed, he sat up, sat in the bathtub, and waited.

He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for but the clock on the bathroom wall told him that 14 minutes had passed since he’d thrown up. As soon
as the clock hit 18 minutes, Evan opened the door.

“Where’d you get another key card from?” Regulus said weakly, trying to look up. His head was slightly dizzy from the sudden movement.

“Borrowed Peter’s.” Evan said, grabbing towels from the small bathroom cupboard. “Come on Reg, let’s get you cleaned up, okay?”

Evan left for a moment, coming back with a fresh set of clothing. He washed Regulus’ hair, not caring that his shirt was getting wet or that
water was trailing up his sleeves.

That can’t be comfortable . Regulus thought to himself as Evan carefully cleaned his face.

After a while, he left Regulus to finish cleaning himself and when Regulus got out of the bathroom, he saw Evan sitting on his bed, wearing one
of his sweaters.

“Talk.” Evan said to him, no longer pleading with him but demanding.

“Now?” Regulus asked, he didn’t want to talk. He wanted to sleep.

“No, Peter is coming soon. Then you’re going to talk and the three of us are going to join everyone for dinner.” Evan said simply, as if he didn’t
just drop a bomb on Regulus.

“Everyone?” Regulus asked, his voice close to cracking.

Evan went to say something but someone knocked at the door, then said something muffled but it was undoubtedly Peter’s voice.

When Peter walked in, he gave Regulus a hug, pressed a light kiss to his head, and sat down on the floor next to the bed. Regulus sat next to
him and Evan got off the bed to join them.

“Now,” Evan said, looking up to make eye contact with Regulus, “talk.”

So Regulus told them everything.

Well, mostly everything.

He left out anything tied to his own emotions and focused more on the fact that him and James had fucked then fought then not spoken a
word.

“So you fucked him?” Peter asked, his forehead slightly creasing.

Regulus nodded. He’d said enough for one day.

“So you guys are…back together?” Peter continued.

“ Peter !” Evan exclaimed with a laugh.

Regulus threw the pillow in his lap at Peter’s face. “Shut up, you moron .” But it was impossible not to smile.

“That’s not a no-” Peter started, but his voice quickly died down when Regulus lunged at him.

Regulus sat back, laughing with Evan and Peter. He would be more than okay. He just had to get through dinner.

--

Dinner had been a mess of sorts.

Regulus and James weren’t talking. It was different than it had been in Ferrara; it wasn’t because they were shocked or nervous, it was
because they were angry.

Ever since he was 11, Regulus had never been able to stomach the feeling of James being angry with him. It made him feel disgusted. Growing
up, his parents had always been mad about something , but James’ anger hurt more than anyone else’s because Regulus knew how long it
took James to truly lose his temper.

But this time felt different. This time, Regulus was sure that, even if he was in the wrong, so was James. James had no right to bring up lost
contact when it was his fault they lost contact. He had no right to bring up Regulus not coming to LA when he knew it wouldn’t have actually
been possible.

Being mad at James used to be hard for him, but now, with the words “ Look who’s coming along this time” playing in his head on loop, he
could hold his grudge for however long he desired.

Sirius was now the only one unaware of James and Regulus and, while this wasn’t new, it made Regulus sick to keep secrets like this.

He wondered how James was feeling. James and Sirius had always been an interesting friendship (everyone always described them as brothers
however, being Sirius’ real brother and someone who had fucked James multiple times, Regulus found that quite weird). They always knew
what the other was thinking and sometimes they moved on a frequency that was unknown to everyone else.

Regulus used to envy it. He envied James for being the brother Sirius had always dreamed of, and he envied Sirius for getting James’
undivided attention all the time. But he’d learned to find their friendship rather beautiful.

Brothers wasn’t the right word. It implied differentiation between them; two separate entities that loved each other regardless. No, brothers
was perfect for Sirius and Regulus. But James and Sirius weren’t all that separate. When they were with each other, they morphed into some
semblance of the same person. They were immersed in each other.

That was what made Regulus wonder all these years. How had Sirius not figured it out yet? Was James and Regulus being together really so
unbelievable that he missed every sign?

After dinner, everyone agreed to call it a night. Unlike Regulus, everyone else had actually had work to do today (except for Evan, but Regulus
suspected that he too had been working; he’d brought his laptop for this reason, after all).

--

With 3 days in Rome, it felt ridiculous to not sightsee. Especially for someone like Regulus who’s hobbies included photography, art, and
history. Rome was quite literally the place to photograph art and see history up close.

Remus was just as excited as he was, eyes shining with every new building they saw.

At Hogwarts, Remus and Regulus had originally bonded over their mutual interest in Sirius’ happiness but the day they spent planning Sirius’
16th birthday party had led to them realising that they actually had far more in common. Art, history, literature, a sense of bewilderment at
how Sirius and James could converse nonverbally: these were all things they shared.

They had a tour guide and she was rather sweet but Regulus was really, really , hoping that one of these old, heavy buildings fell on her head.

Being sweet was fine, but the fact that she was so obviously flirting with James was nauseating .

But even through his anger, when she took them to the Colosseum, Regulus couldn’t be arsed to think about her anymore.

He knew that all 6 of them were impressed by the building but he knew that only Remus was feeling what he felt.

“Jesus.” Remus breathed, standing right up against Regulus’ side.

Regulus was glad he was so close because if he hadn’t been, Regulus might’ve fallen over. “Remus.” he said, his voice a little out of breath.

“I know,” he replied.

And Regulus knew that he knew.

Here they were. Standing where, hundreds of years ago, another set of boys had likely stood, seeing the same building, the same curves and
bends of the pillars.

And a little before that, a different set of boys had decided that they would turn sand and concrete into an amphitheatre. Regulus wonders if
they knew that the sand and concrete they were building with would turn into a world wonder. Did they care? Had wonder and fame been on
their mind? The colosseum was built to revitalise Rome. Had revitalization and entertainment been the only things on their mind?

“Regulus.” Remus whispered. It was so obvious they were thinking the same things.

“Right here.”

Everything might’ve been a bit shit but for now he had the Colosseum and years of men who had stood right here before him and Remus’ tight
grip on the bottom of his sleeve that grounded him.

After seeing the Colosseum, Regulus had been rather out of it. Everything was passing by him, everyone was talking, and he was focusing on
the strong, white pillars, and the years behind him and years ahead of him and how no moment would quite measure up.

And then he was happy. Something he didn’t realise he could be after a morning like yesterday. Because this was what he’d always loved
about art; it’s ability to make you feel . The way it could cut through anything and really make you feel. It was what had drawn him to
photography. Capturing the moment, capturing the exact feeling where everything was momentarily still in time, and being able to keep it
forever. Photography was like time travel to him.

They walked around, letting the tour guide take them to different places, most of which they’d never heard of. Rome was full of surprises so it
seemed.

At lunch, they were at some fancy restaurant but Regulus couldn’t really eat. Not when James had disappeared with the tour guide after
throwing a cheeky wink to Sirius. Not when they returned just before the end of the meal, a little out of breath and their clothes all over the
place.

James’ face was flushed as Sirius rolled his eyes at him.

“The tour guide? Really, James?” Remus asked disapprovingly.

“What else did you expect from this fucker?” Sirius said, laughing.

James laughed too, lighting a cigarette and sharing it with Sirius.

Regulus didn’t find it that funny. Because it suddenly cemented something for him. James fucking tour guides and photographers and random
people who happened to be there was all normal for him now. It was expected.

In the last 4 years, Regulus had never let himself think too much about what James was doing but he realised now that it was this .

Of course, James could do whatever he’d wanted. He didn’t owe anything to Regulus and vice versa. It wasn’t like Regulus had remained timid
and shy with sex since James left.

In his last year at Hogwarts, when he recrafted himself, he turned into someone who loved it. Looking the way he did, there wasn’t a lack of
attention coming his way. And he revelled in it. In fact he’d kept that up after graduation too; indulging in whoever seemed interesting.

“We should head out,” the tour guide called from the front of the restaurant. She had reapplied her lipstick and redone her eye makeup. She’d
even fixed her clothes and hair (something James had yet to do).

And suddenly Regulus didn’t know what he’d been thinking.

Because sure James looked the same (tattoos aside), and he smiled the same, and he laughed the same, but James wasn’t that James
anymore.

James would no longer listen to him talk about his photos and take him on long moonlit walks and hold his hand under the blanket during
horror movies. More importantly, James no longer loved him.

He’d been so caught up in worrying that he still felt something for James but the only thing he could feel right now was a strong, harsh
hatred.

--

Regulus was growing a new found hate for Rome. The city itself was perfect but the fact that he had to sit through James existing was
draining.

However, it was hard to stay bitter when he saw how deliriously happy Remus and Sirius were.

Regulus remembers the day Sirius had told him he fancied guys as well as girls, he had been talking to Remus in the hallway and Regulus had
overheard.

“What if he cares, Remus?” Sirius had asked. Regulus couldn’t see him but he could imagine the creases in his forehead.

“Regulus is far too good of a man to care who you prefer dating,” Remus replied easily, his voice was light and confident as if he’d known
Regulus his whole life.

Since then, Regulus had loved Remus.

Remus and Sirius were sitting against a tree, Regulus was lying on the grass next to them, soaking in the sun. Remus had his legs stretched
out and Sirius sat with his back against Remus’ chest, comfortably positioned in between Remus’ legs as he read a book. Regulus couldn’t
make out what book but every now and then Sirius would underline something or write in the margin with the pen tucked behind his ear.

The sun was shining down and Sirius’ hands glimmered a bit, perks of being as pale as a Black.

Carefully, Remus lowered his head onto Sirius’ shoulder, turned his head slightly to the side and pressed a kiss to Sirius’ cheek. Sirius didn’t
acknowledge Remus other than slightly leaning into the touch of Remus’ lips but Regulus noticed that he flipped the pages a little slower,
suddenly aware that he wasn’t the only one reading.

He watched as Sirius loosely flipped through pages, no longer reading but trying to find a certain passage. Carefully he underlined something
and then in the margin with a small arrow wrote a note. Whatever it was, Remus looked like he was going to melt. Regulus stretched his neck
up slightly, to get a better look. When he did, he saw that the line Sirius underlined said “You are sunlight through a window, which I stand in,
warmed. My darling.” and when his eyes followed the small arrow he saw that, in the margin, Sirius had just written Remus .

Remus was smiling now, messily braiding Sirius’ hair and softly kissing his head every now and then.

Regulus felt indebted to whoever controlled fate. Surely he owed someone something for getting to see moments like this, where his brother
was truly and purely happy.

--

JAMES

James knew he wasn’t necessarily doing the right thing. Fucking the tour guide, ignoring Regulus, making rude remarks at the airport.

But he was mad . Not so much at Regulus, more at himself. Being mad at Regulus was near impossible for him, but hating himself came a little
too naturally these last few years.

But fuck it. James had never prided himself as some godlike man that never made mistakes. He never promised to always do the right thing.

Right now, he wanted Regulus to be a bit sad. And he knew it was fucked. But why should he deal with the humiliation he did at the airport
and not get anything in return?

So yeah , he was going to fuck whoever he could and ignore Albus’ calls and try to fucking enjoy Rome.

That didn’t mean that he was completely cruel, though. He knew Regulus spent the first day in Rome in his hotel room. He knew Regulus
wasn’t okay, and while he forced himself not to care why, he figured there was something he could do.

So he contacted the tour company, asked them to include the Colosseum in their package, and paid the extra € 400 from his pocket and hung
up. He told himself it was for Remus and Regulus enjoying the trip would just be an added benefit, but he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t
thinking of Regulus’ love for Roman architecture when he made that call.

The € 400 had been worth it. Seeing Regulus there, with his features completely softening, James could almost hear his thoughts. James could
hear what Regulus used to tell him when they were in school. It’s art, Jamie. The things they could do with fucking concrete and sand. Jesus.
Regulus would say. He’d say something about how people had been standing there for generations .

Regulus was next to Remus, both of them staring and smiling at the building ahead.

It was like those days at Hogwarts again, but now, James could feel confidence in the way Regulus held himself. He no longer wrapped his
sleeves around his knuckles and bit at his lip when spoken to. Regulus wore a green flannel loosely unbuttoned and a pair of black jeans.
James forced himself to not think about how many times that exact flannel had been abandoned on his floor.

So much had changed.

As Regulus spoke, his eyes lit up and his hands flexed, moving animatedly as he talked. His smile stretched across his face, making his high
cheekbones look angelic.

Nothing had changed.

James forced himself to look away. Regulus was beautiful. He had always been beautiful. But James hadn’t always hated him, not like he did
now. James hated him for breaking his heart and making him fall in love in the first place and for just being so fucking beautiful.

There was no point in thinking about Regulus, though.

It didn’t matter. He truly did not fucking care.

Because he had done this as a nice gesture, something to fix his comments at the airport. But that didn’t make them even. No, far from it. It
didn’t make James hate Regulus any less, and it definitely didn’t make him loathe himself less either.

--

That night, James was on the balcony of his room. He had originally been sitting on one of the couches out there with his feet kicked up
against the railing, but he got bored of it. He got up and sat on the railing itself, legs dangling over the edge.

His phone was somewhere on the balcony floor, playing some old rock song. The introduction to Patience by Guns N’ Roses had just started
when he heard Remus behind him.

“Not the safest place to sit,” Remus commented, sitting next to him and carefully letting his legs over the edge. Remus’ legs were longer than
James’ and they reached father down. James focused on the way Remus’ laces crossed over each other. “What are you thinking about?”
Remus asked.

James was close to crying. “So many things,” he said, and it came out as a whisper. He closed his eyes and felt a single tear fall.

“Tell me.” Remus urged. “You aren’t alone, James. Not with me here”

James smiled, leaning into Remus’ side. “Why did I give up so many things to be here, Rem?” James asked after a moment. “I can’t go
anywhere without getting swarmed and I can’t have a second of peace without being stressed about making a number 1 album and Reg-” his
voice broke.

“You and Regulus did not end because either of you were at fault. You need to stop thinking about that because before, I thought it was okay
but now I can see how it eats away at you, and you can’t let that happen.” Remus’ voice was firm. “It’s in the past, James.”

“I wish I could take back all of it.” James said bitterly.

Remus gave him a sad sort of smile, “Don’t say that. It was so beautiful while it lasted.”

The next morning, James got ready in the dark because he couldn’t bear to look at himself in the mirror. When a fan came up to him on the
street as he walked outside his hotel, they told him how much they loved him, and he couldn’t help but wonder why.

--

Regardless of how disgusted he was with himself, James felt fucking cool on stage. He didn’t know how he could switch from loathing himself
to loving himself so quickly, but he didn’t question it too much.

Because there was something about being on stage.

The way people chanted his name, the way they screamed along to the lyrics he’d written, the way they all wanted him.

But the feeling, the one where he felt the world beneath his own two feet, started backstage. There was a bit of a tradition among the four of
them but it felt it wrong to call it that. It was really just a quick smoke before the show.

As they sat there, Remus, James, and Peter sitting there on the couch with Sirius sprawled across their legs, they shared a cigarette in the
dark.

James could remember the exact moment they became friends. Him and Sirius had been an instant connection at the front gates of Hogwart,
their boarding school. Sirius’ parents had dumped him there and James’ mom, far too emotional to see a child alone, held Sirius’ quaking hand
all the way to the front door. When Effie left them, the two of them had shared a look, like they were both her sons. They had met Peter in
their room and he’d told Sirius, rather timidly, that he liked his shoes and that had been the seal of their fate.

They’d met Remus three days later. He’d arrived a little late, looking far too cool for an 11 year old. Him and Peter met in their first class, then
Peter introduced him to the rest of them. By luck, Remus got assigned to their room, and that was that.

And now they were here. Backstage at some venue in Rome.

Remus and Peter passed a bottle of brandy between each other, taking alternating swigs. James and Sirius stuck the cigarette; slurring their
words while they sang would not be ideal. Sirius was perfectly balanced on their laps, one hand resting on his stomach and the cigarette lying
between the fingers of his other hand, which he casually held up as if it were a pencil.

“This is crazy.” Peter said after a few moments of silence.

Sirius took a drag of the cigarette, then passed it to James. He blew the smoke out before replying, “This is unreal.”

“We’ll wake up and it’ll be a dream. We’ll be back in Binns’ class, memorising history dates.” Remus said, the smile was so evident in his voice,
even in the dark.

“ You’ll be memorising, babe. The rest of us copied off of you.” Sirius adds, holding his hand out to take the cigarette from James’ hands again.
“Well, Peter and I copied off of you. James copied off of Reg.” Sirius said with a small laugh.

James’ breath hitched. He was lucky he had already blown out the smoke in his mouth, otherwise he would’ve started coughing.

He remembered the study sessions he and Regulus would have all too well. Regulus would talk about history and English and his art classes
and James never told him that he was going off syllabus because watching him speak, with his eyes bright and his hands animated, was more
than enough.

Regulus had been fucking brilliant . And not just for the material of his own year, he was easily smarter than the majority of the kids in James’
year too. If James had to be completely honest, the only person his age at Hogwarts that was smarter than Regulus was Remus.

But James didn’t want to think about Regulus right now. He didn’t want to think about him for a while.

“Boys, you’re on stage soon,” someone said, peeking their head through the door. It was likely a member of the venue staff.

Remus got up, turning on the lights, and the boys started getting ready.

James went to the bathroom, taking his hair and makeup bag with him. He needed to be alone for a moment.

He stared at himself in the mirror.

Various tattoos covered his brown skin, which glimmered a unique sort of bronze under the odd lighting of the bathroom.

He’d hated it for a while, when he was younger. Being one of the only Indian kids he knew had been fucking hard . Being Indian itself felt like a
struggle at his boarding school, but going back to India, where everyone thought he was white washed, had been even harder.

James hadn’t felt like he fit in much with either side of his culture. Which was a shame. James loved India. The food, the customs, the
traditions, the beautiful diversity that ran across the country. His country. But sometimes he felt like India couldn’t love him back.

He’d felt like that when he started getting famous, too. When the reporters always had something to say about his skin, and when “fans” made
jokes that almost drove him to cracking his phone in half.

But then he’d done his first show in India. And he’d seen pride on people’s faces. And then he started noticing the brown skinned boys and
girls that came to his shows across the world. And he saw how they looked at him, how they smiled at finally having someone that was just
like them in Hollywood.

He remembers growing up. He remembers everyone caring about what seemed to be everything but blatant racism against Indians. There
weren’t any people that looked like him in shows or movies.

But he realised something while touring: he was that person now. And since then, he’d worn his skin with pride.

He took another drag from the cigarette. The smoke was starting to cloud up the air in the small bathroom.

Leaning towards the mirror, he ran a hand through his hair, then lined his bottom waterline with black eyeliner. His mom said it brought out
his eyes (which were arguably the best feature on almost any Indian), and he would be a fool to not listen to his mom.

When he left the bathroom, he let the actual hair and makeup artists fix the rest of his face and give him clothes to wear.

Before they got on stage, James could hear the fans screaming.

Their synchronised voices called one word. Marauders.

“You think they’re talking about us?” Peter joked, grinning from ear to ear. James grinned back.

James knew him and Peter felt the same way about the shows. Sure Sirius and Remus loved the shows and got happiness from them, but for
those two, there was an equal amount of joy in just creating music, just being around it.

But for Peter and James it was different. They loved creating music but the pure ecstasy they got from standing in front of a screaming crowd
couldn’t be matched by anything.

When they got out on stage, the crowd went wild. James and Sirius hung back. They did this sometimes, they had the two of them come out
only when the song started to add more tension.

“Good evening, Rome!” Peter called into his mic, enunciating each syllable. The crowd was still screaming. “Now, we have some songs for you,
so, without further ado. Remus, if you will,” Peter said, gesturing for Remus to start the song.

James heard the familiar beat and when the time came he was running on stage. “ Maybe I don’t mind, just getting high mine .”

Sirius continued the lyrics, “ Shouting over music, with a friend who’s like a brother .”

The song was the perfect starter. The crowd was wild and, between jumping up and down and singing the lyrics, James didn’t even see
Regulus in the crowd.

But when the next song started, he was less lucky.

Remus’ drums came in first, then Peter and Sirius’ guitars.

James’ guitar was last.

The first verse went fine, even the pre chorus.

When James started the chorus, the lights turned red. “ Crawling back to you ,” his voice was perfect tonight. The right mix of low and
gravelly. But as soon as the lyric left his lips, he was face to face with Regulus.

He had to keep singing. But he also couldn’t be the first to look away.

So he kept looking at Regulus and kept singing. He wasn’t going to back away like a coward.

“ Ever thought of calling when you’ve had a few? ” he sang. Regulus wasn’t looking away and James was scared that his sharp glare was going
to burn the stage down. “ ‘Cause I always do.” James needed Regulus to look away immediately. The next lyric was coming in under a fucking
milisecond and his pride wouldn’t let him sing it, but it also wouldn’t let him break eye contact. Oh fuck it. “ Maybe I’m too busy being yours to
fall for somebody new, ” he sang, harsher than the other lyrics.

He watched as Regulus lightly gasped, then looked away and pointed the camera elsewhere. Good.

--

James had been buzzing with energy after the show, and luckily Peter knew someone who knew someone who knew a club nearby. So that’s
where they were headed.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t like clubs. Were they his favourite thing in the world? No. Especially not since he got famous. But they
were enjoyable nonetheless and most times, he would be having fun. Especially at one this big with this many people.

When they walked in, they were swarmed by a group of people cheering and shouting. The noise in the club was loud but luckily the bar was
closeby and the 6 of them slowly made their way over. Everyone around them was screaming and James laughed a little, not because anything
was particularly funny but because with everyone around cheering and singing, even the slightest thing could get a reaction from him.

The music was generic and loud, but even the most basic song could be good when he was drunk and with his friends. There were people at
the seats and the tables, taking up every inch of the floor. Some people were standing in little groups, moving to the music and talking to each
other, raising their voices over the music.

The lights, in almost the entire club, were flashing red, blue and purple, changing every few seconds. It added to the atmosphere of the party
but it was also making it hard to see anything .

James downed three drinks in front of him, not caring much for what was inside them. A pretty blonde girl came up to him, asking the
bartender to make her whatever he was having.

“James,” he said, introducing himself. He didn’t bother to add his last name because he knew that in about three seconds, she would start to
recognize him. Honestly, the only reason he gave her three whole seconds was because of how dark the club was.

3...2...here we go

“James Potter ?” she asked, already coming off as flirty.

“That’s me,” He said, giving her an expectant look, waiting for her to fill in her name. He didn’t actually care much about it, but it was one of
those things you always should ask.

“Gemma,” she said.

The bartender pushed them another two drinks and when James drank his, he was taken aback.

He could tell Gemma felt similar because she had started to pull him towards the group of people dancing.

His hands found their place on the sides of her waist as they danced. James looked up for a moment, pushing the hair out of his face as the
girl’s hands grabbed at whatever parts of him they could find, and saw Regulus. He was sitting at the bar with Evan but something darkened in
his face when he saw James.

James tried turning his attention back to the girl, focusing on her hands (which were quite shamelessly all over James’ body).

His mind kept going back to Regulus. But when he looked up again, Regulus was gone. His eyes scanned the room until they spotted him on
the other side of the dance floor, wrapped around a guy.

The boy Regulus was dancing with wasn’t Evan, it was someone James didn’t recognize and likely someone Regulus had just met. The boy’s
hands travelled down Regulus’ back, reaching his ass and pulling him closer.

Regulus was, as much as James tried not to notice, attractive. It was undeniable. But today, in tight black jeans and a mostly unbuttoned dark
red shirt, he looked unreal .

The boy leaned down, whispering something in Regulus’ ear and his eyes lit up in a way that made James freeze for a second. It was the same
look Regulus had that night in the kitchen.

Regulus looked up and saw James staring, both of them watching the other. The eye contact didn’t last very long, though, because soon
enough, Regulus looked away and said something to the boy. The two of them left the club, and James didn’t need a lot of imagination to
understand what came next.

--

They had a flight at 5 in the morning to get to their next show. James wasn’t sure who booked these flights but they clearly hated the band.

5 in the morning was fine for James who thrived off of the early sunrise hours, but the rest of his friends looked dead.