LEARNING TO BE A FIRST GRADER: A PRIMER ON CLASSROOM MANAGEMENT

FOR THE FIRST GRADE TEACHER

By Patti Connolly

Learning to be a First Grade Waldorf teacher is as challenging as learning to be a First Grade

student. Each of your students enters First Grade with a different attitude – some are
inwardly ready to follow you, but many innately have to test your boundaries. Some may
even resemble ‘wild animals’ in need of taming! Thus, not only do the students have a lot to
learn so do you…especially in the first few months.

Each teacher enters the classroom with unconscious, habitual ways of dealing with these
different kinds of children based on how we were raised and taught. We need to have more
than just a few ‘classroom rules’ and nifty attention getters (though these are good to have
too!) to be able to guide the children appropriately without exhausting ourselves every day.

Rudolf Steiner had some keen observations and incredibly wise ideas about guiding children.
He saw the path of education holistically – the teacher nurtures and develops each child’s
mind, body and spirit through imagination, academic excellence, independent thinking and
an enthusiasm for life so that they can bring their gifts to the world and make it a better
place. Obviously, this means that the teacher isn’t just concerned with reading, writing, and
arithmetic.

The Waldorf teacher understands that this means she must guide her students with
“artistry” and self-discipline. In fact, Rudolf Steiner shared with the first teachers at the
Waldorf Astoria Cigarette Factory’s school in 1919 that

“the teacher must be a person of initiative in everything that is done, great

or small. The teacher should be one who is interested in the being of the
whole world and of humanity. The teacher must be the one who never
strikes a compromise in heart or mind with what is untrue. The teacher
must never get stale or grow sour.”

I like to describe Steiner’s approach to classroom discipline and the teacher’s self-discipline
as ‘lovingly firm’ or ‘creative’ meaning that he gives numerous indications for a positive
attitude but doesn’t prescribe what it looks like for us. We have to find our own way!

How can we discover how to be lovingly firm? On the following pages I have included how I
found my way to understanding of Steiner’s lovingly firm discipline approach through trying
out ideas my beloved mentors have shared with me, and my constant study of the topic. This
path has not only helped me to guide my students to be happy, polite, inquisitive learners, I
think they have also made me a better human being overall.

Please meditate on these recommendations. Please discuss them with your mentor teacher
and colleagues. Ask questions, leave any of these suggestions “on the shelf” if they don’t
resonate for you. And, most importantly, with please play the ideas that do suit you, make
them your own. Quiz your mentor and colleagues about their thoughts on creative discipline

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– create a collaborative team with them. I know that they will have great ideas to support
you in this most important part of your teaching.

First Step: What Are We Really Teaching in First Grade?

First check in on what your overall goals as a Waldorf First Grade teacher are. You may
quickly answer, “To teach the children to read, write and do arithmetic”. Well, actually, those
are not our overall goals but don’t worry, they still are very important.

Steiner shared that our overall goals as First Grade teachers are to teach the children so that
they:
• Love to work hard, follow our expectations, have self-control, patience,
perseverance, etc. In other words, develop the key higher thinking skills needed for
life-long success.
• Deepen their innate love for learning.

I call these two intertwined aims “Learning How to Be First Graders”. When you can
accomplish the first goal, the second one comes naturally when teaching through the
principles of Waldorf education.

But how can we teach our students these higher thinking skills? By telling them to be
compassionate, persistent, and self-aware? Well, we know that “telling” is rarely successful
but for some reason we usually resort to doing just that.

Steiner points us in a more logical direction. He says that to reach these aims we teachers
must first learn how children perceive and think about the world. Then we will be able to
know what to do next – how to reach them to teach them!

Understanding the First Grader’s Developmental Tendencies

Why start with child development? Often teachers (and parents) unconsciously think that
children should become instantaneous adults, that they should just understand how the
world works and fit in with ease. But it takes a long time, into their mid-20s, to perceive and
think about the world in the same way we do.

How can we help them learn and understand how to behave appropriately? Steiner said to go
to them. In other words, learn about how they think and feel at each stage of development,
and work with their strengths at that stage.

There is much to say about the development of the 6-7-year-old but let’s only look at how
they perceive the world for our purposes here. Overall Steiner describes that the 6-7-year
old’s’ souls are such that ‘willing and feeling are grown together’. For example, most first
graders will just naturally have to jump up if they are excited about something. They aren’t
testing your boundaries; they are just bound by the fact that their feeling and willing are so
woven together.

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Now let’s get a bit more specific about the 6-7-year-old. There are three significant
characteristics of the first graders’ consciousness that I think are important to keep in mind
as you work on becoming a lovingly firm leader. The first graders:
• Feel ‘one with the world’
• ‘Live in the sway of feeling’
• Think pictorially

The first characteristic to remember is that the children continue to feel ‘one with the world’
like they did in kindergarten. This feeling shows up in a variety of ways, such that they:
• Love to be part of the group and will innately follow whomever they see as the
‘leader’ of it. That’s why it’s important that you become the leader ASAP.

• Can be largely unconscious of others in their will. Their main goal is to achieve their
own desires, especially those related to personal needs, so you will notice that they
may have little interest in your lesson at times, especially if it’s just dry facts.

• Absorb all that is shared, not just other people’s words but their emotions, gestures,
and inner attitudes. They take in your mood and that which you bring from your soul
in a very deep, unconscious manner. They are shaped by who you are, not what you
say.

• Learn best by doing, by experiencing the lesson not listening to you tell the lesson.
They need and love to be active and engaged with the world!

Over the course of the first grade year, this feeling of being one with the world will begin to
ebb as they move toward one of childhood’s three separation crises called the ‘nine-year-old
change, which usually occurs between 9-10 years old (the others are at 2-3 and 14-15 years).
But you will notice that throughout the ‘heart of childhood’ (6-14 years old) they will want to
follow and believe what you tell them. They need your loving authority.

Secondly, we need to understand that first graders ‘live in the sway of feeling’, as Steiner
puts it. You will see this soul ‘feeling’ as the children:

• Identify with everything intensely. Whatever they experience is felt deeply.

• Fluctuate emotionally. Most first graders express their individual qualities without
restraint. And remember these individual qualities run from ‘bull in the china shop’ to
quiet melancholy.

• Live in free rhythmic movement, in what we call the ‘musical element’. Steiner
suggests that teachers learn to engage in this rhythm by ‘lov(ing) to do the same
thing repeated at the same time’.

The third trait we need to keep in mind is that the first grade children think pictorially. I love
what Steiner shares about this kind of thinking when he tells us, “As teachers we cannot do
very much with the head. We can awaken what is in the head, but we have no possibilities of
putting more there.” We need to be patient for logical thinking to mature and learn to teach

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in pictures, in images. This is why our discipline approach is creative. We use the magic of
stories and art to guide the children.

Specifically, Steiner shared that first graders are continually “digesting” what they learn from
us and from the world. They don’t immediately “get it”. Only after this digestive period can
they build their own realms of images about this information with the very creative
intelligence of their brains’ right hemispheres (the creative, holistic side of the brain that is
most mature at 6-7 years old).

But the challenge is that what they think you shared may not be what you explained! It may
be very different than what you explained in fact. This is because, as Steiner puts it, the
“self” reigns in the children’s inner world. Remember how self-centered they are – well, it
shows up in their thinking. They think in a very subjective, magical way.

This thinking, with your support, gradually and delicately transforms into objective,
intellectual thought over time to fully incarnate. That’s why we teach by describing, by
telling stories instead of explaining in grades 1-8 – to allow the children’s thinking the time it
needs to develop naturally and fully. If we bring dry, logical thought too early we deaden the
children’s creative intellect.

As I mentioned above, this is just a quick overview. I suggest that you study the 7-14-year-old
in depth. Please read Steiner’s Kingdom in Childhood and The Child’s Changing Consciousness
(both PDFs on the internet) and Encountering the Self by Hermann Koepke. Another great
read is the Child Development Manual by Peter Van Alpen (http://www.zukunftsstiftung-
entwicklung.de/media/Bilder_ZSE/UEber_Uns_Dateien/Grundlagentexte/CHILD_DEV_TRAINI
NG_MANUAL.pdf).

Don’t Swim Upstream – Work with The Children’s Tendencies

Now let’s look at how Waldorf teachers can practically work with the 6-7-year olds’
developmental tendencies instead of working against them with very poor results.

Here are my 5 overarching themes of Lovingly Firm Discipline:

1. Become the wise, magic elder

2. Be on a path of self-discipline
3. Create and follow healthy lesson rhythms
4. Build your class community
5. See their misbehavior as opportunities for learning

1. Become the Wise, Magic Elder

Children have two contradictory needs – one is to explore the world and the other is to feel
connected to those who nurture them, their parents and teachers. They need us to guide
them by loving them in two ways: with the nurturing of a loving, caring heart and with
structure from our firm, guiding will. Another way to say it is - they need flow and form.

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If we nurture and sympathize with the children too much, if we try to be their ‘friend’, our
boundaries are random or move too easily. They can’t deal with such an open field and most
will feel the need to become the boss. This kind of adult guidance is known as ‘indulgent’ or
‘laissez faire’ leadership.

If we give too much structure and antipathy as the ‘general’ children are either afraid of us or
lose our respect. This kind of leadership is labeled ‘authoritarian’.

Waldorf teachers have to ‘stay on the tightrope’ of lovingly assertive empathy as Keith
McCrary, one of my mentors told me. We need to be the wise, magic and lovingly firm elder.
This elder uses the ‘authoritative’ discipline style most of the time. (See Appendix A for an
overview of authoritative, authoritarian, and indulgent leadership styles.)

Keith shared with me that the teacher must see herself as the democratic leader, the
children’s guide in this new, foreign world of “The Grades”. In fact, he said, the teacher has
to become the “pack leader” or “alpha dog”! We must claim our rightful authoritative
leadership role in the classroom because the children don’t naturally give it to us.

That’s a tall order! How can you become that wise, magic and lovingly firm elder? Here are
key traits for a teacher to “own” her rightful role:

1. You are always calm. You get sad, not mad. You are disappointed about someone’s
behavior but never angry. You always have the solution to what didn’t go well.

2. You know that the children learn from who you are not what you say. If you expect
something from them, you make sure you are doing it first.

3. You strive to be magical in all you do – in the way you tell stories, describe concepts in
imaginations, in speaking about life. You know the importance of humor. You enjoy
making children smile and laugh. You learn silly jokes. You look for opportunities in every
lesson to touch the children’s feelings, getting them to both belly laugh and almost cry
with compassion for others.

4. You know that the children’s behavior is your best teacher. You objectively observe the
children and are prepared to take on any needs that their behavior says to you. For
example, if the children are becoming restless or sleepy, you ask yourself, “What must I
change so that the children can enter joyfully into this?” You may have to change the
lesson and work more with the polarities of contraction/expansion (sitting still/moving,
slow/fast, large movements/small movements). You check the ventilation and open a
window, etc. if needed.

5. You use your body language and ‘will forces’ to communicate your expectations along
with your words. For examples:
a. You hold yourself with a posture of loving strength.
b. You pay attention to your gestures. The more fluid and graceful they are, the
more relaxed the students will be.
c. You show with your body and your facial expressions that you are interesting to
listen to and learn from.

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 d. You use your eyes to direct a child to follow your instructions without speaking
them. My older students lovingly named it the “Evil Eye”. “Dog whisperers” use
this kind of eye contact to become the “alpha dog” with his clients’ canines.
e. You move to an individual child who is behaving inappropriately and put a firm,
loving hand on his shoulder while continuing to lead the class.
f. You use your will to engage a child’s will for just a short time. For example, after
giving verbal direction to close up books and crayons, you might walk over and
help a dreamy child with just a few words and then move on to your next task.
Don’t do the whole job for him.

6. You know that your words are powerful. Specifically:

a. You have fun with different volumes (giant voice, mousey voice, etc.) and accents
(the Band Leader, the Clean Up Inspector, etc.).
b. You play with words, you enjoy the sounds of words, you describe with rich
vocabulary, you use similes, etc. You are a magic speech artist!
c. You know that the way you say things, or the feelings behind your words, means
more than what you say. You really listen to yourself as you are talking and watch
how the children react to different tones of your voice.
d. You know that lecturing to 6-7-year olds sounds like the “wah-wah” of Charles
Shultz’s infamous adults in his comic strip Peanuts.
e. If there is a recurring misbehavior you find a way to solve it instead of ‘harping on
it’ over and over again with mini lectures. See more in the section “See
Misbehavior as Opportunities for Learning”.
f. You never give an instruction that you aren’t going to follow through on it.
g. You use clear, firm statements. Here is one: “All books will be closed by the end
of the song.” Don’t forget to say these commands in a kind, loving tone.
h. You don’t ask the children questions like, “Are you ready to do bookwork?” or
“Do you want to keep playing our flutes?” You will get a no from someone in the
crowd for sure. Then what do you do?
i. When a child asks why he has to do something, you answer, “That is what we do
in our classroom” and then earnestly meditate on what the child is really asking.
Explaining wakes up the children’s astral body.
j. If a child asks for something or asks to do something you aren’t sure about, you
say, “I’ll think about it.” You show that you will consider request in more depth.
You know that if you immediately say “no,” then switch to “yes,” – the children
learn that they can change your mind and that your “no” has little power.

7. You understand the children’s need to belong. You know that they want to be a part of
the group and you take the time to show them how to become a member of your tribe.

8. You treat the children with consistent, genuine politeness. You see no need to bribe,
threaten, criticize, blame, complain, nag, punish. You take the time to ask others and
think through for yourself how to guide the children without these tricks.

9. You keep a positive picture of each and every one of your children in your heart. You
don’t play favorites. You understand that it may take all year for some of your children to
learn ‘how to be a first grader’. These children are your greatest colleagues who will help
you grow the most. More about them in the “See Misbehavior as Opportunity” section.

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10. You know that children need healthy, enforceable expectations based on their
developmental needs. See “Build your class community” section for more info.

11. You don’t take the children’s need to test your expectations personally. You understand
that this is how they learn how to separate from their parents and from you and
gradually take up their own individuality. You respect the soul impulse to resist your
leadership, but you remember that you must shape it.

Though we may not always think so, children live in admiration of adults throughout
childhood. They want to please you, be guided by you. Deep in their unconscious they see
you as a key person to help them figure out how to be in world. They have an innate need to
be close to you, to fee that you are on their side. They thrive when they see that you are
doing something you love. When we keep this understanding in our hearts and minds, we
help them invaluably as they gawkily work on growing up.

2. Be on a path of self-discipline
To become the Wise, Magic Elder we must develop our own self-discipline. Recent research
confirms what Steiner said over 100 years ago - our actions, rather than our telling or
preaching to children is what truly influences them. Our behavior and inner mood instruct
them as to how they trust and admire others and the world and shapes their self-image
positively or negatively. Our actions are the ‘soul food’ for their Ego development.

Of course, our self-development is a life-long process. We need to show the children our
striving instead of trying to be perfect and then feeling bad when we can’t possibly live up to
our unrealistic standards. I like to remember what Steiner said about how the children are
able to intuitively feel the teacher working on herself. This striving shines on the children like
the sun shines on us and makes them want to strive too.

Steiner gave a number of ideas about how we can work on ourselves that fit into two broad
categories:
• Take care of our etheric body
• Practice self-awareness – develop your “witness”

Take Care of Your Etheric Body

First, we must take care of our etheric (life) body, our body of habits, which is the source of
our vitality, our health. How do we take care of our etheric body? By creating a rhythmical
pattern for ourselves. We must be committed to getting enough sleep, eating healthy food,
creating order and organization in our lives. We need to give ourselves time to listen to
music, to read, to spend time outside each day and to have fun!

Practice Self-Awareness
Another area of self-development that Steiner discussed at length with the first Waldorf
teachers is in the area of self-awareness. Practicing objective observation of ourselves leads
us to self-discipline. He urges us to develop a “witness”, a part of our consciousness that

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assesses how we are leading the children as we are leading them…observing how we speak,
how our body holds tension, how we walk, etc. Not easy but very worth it.

Why do you need an inner witness? You want to see what the children are taking in from you
and how to improve it. When you can be fully present in your actions, in your inner feelings
and in your tone and strive for beauty and warmth, then the children have a healthy model to
emulate. There is another reason for the witness – and this is very important! – Only when
you have a healthy relationship with yourself, can you have healthy relationships with the
children in your care.

Steiner gave a number of exercises for us to do to help us become more aware of our
behavior and be more self-disciplined. I have included my elaborations and those of my
Waldorf mentors for each of these exercises:

1. On awakening, take 3-5 minutes to attend to any new thought, insight, feeling, which
has “come out of the night” (for example, a realization about a child, especially one
that has been a puzzle). I also give gratitude for all I have and set my intentions for
the day upon awakening. I ask myself, “What do I want to work on today? How do I
want the day to go?”

2. Arrive at school at least 20 minutes before the children. When you reach the
classroom door, imagine yourself leaving your “coat” of personal worries,
grievances, and tensions, which would sap the life energy that is needed for your
work with the children, on the imaginary hook at the door.

3. Now that you are in the room, speak a verse, sing a song, and/or do a short physical
exercise to focus your attention, calm down, bring a morality into the room, and set
the tone for the day. In other words, “warm the space.” See Appendix B for
examples of verses.

4. Meet with your colleagues (and your assistant) at an arranged regular time each
morning to wish each other a great day and speak a verse and sing a song together
for all the school to benefit from. See Appendix B for examples of verses.

5. During class if you begin to feel overwhelmed or angry in front of the class, visualize a
beam of light right behind you and literally step into it for 5-10 seconds. The children
will sense your striving for inner peace and usually get quiet too.

6. If you find yourself getting stressed, you will probably notice that all of your energy
and your voice are coming from your larynx or upper chest area (this is especially true
for women). Consciously imagine pulling yourself back down, rooting yourself in the
ground. Drop your voice into your lower registry. By using your diaphragm to initiate
your speaking, you will shift not only your energy, but that of the class as well.

7. In the evening, review your day in reverse. Look at the day as if it was someone else’s
day. Picture each child with her higher self (angel) behind her. Connect with your
higher self too. What went well, what improved, did you expect too much, who and

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 what needed more attention? Stay objective; don’t lecture yourself. Take a maximum
of 15 minutes to do this work.

8. If you are having trouble with a certain child, ask the child’s higher self for help after
your review. Ask a specific question, and then let it go. Don’t expect the answer. It
may come the next morning or later in the week.

9. Practice objective observation. For example, spend time in nature every day
observing one plant grow through the year. Journal or draw its growth.

10. Last but definitely most important – Work with the six basic exercises that Rudolf
Steiner encouraged teachers to study. Choose one exercise at a time for at least one
month at the minimum. Doing this work with your colleagues is especially potent.
See Appendix C for an overview of the exercises. Read Steiner’s How to Know Higher
Worlds for more in-depth information. A PDF of the book is at
http://steinerbooks.org/research/archive/how_to_know_higher_worlds/how_to_kno
w_higher_worlds.pdf.

Remember that every day is new! Steiner shared that when we get angry with ourselves or at
others it is an attempt to redouble strength, but this strength is blind. He suggested that the
rhythm of doing the above self-development exercises replaces your attempts to get
stronger than others or your lower self, and as we all can attest, is much more effective and
healthier!

3. Create healthy lesson rhythms of in-breathing and out-breathing

Another amazing insight of Steiner’s is that of using the lesson rhythm or structure to help
children behave well. When we make sure that the children are not expected to sit and listen
too long nor expected to “breathe out” with a wilder activity like playing active games for
too long, then we work with their natural developmental ‘flow’ rather than against it.

For example, I think we would all agree that children have very short attention spans. Some
research proposes that a child’s age is the average number of minutes that a child that age
can attend to a task. This means that you can expect your first grade students to only sit and
listen to you talking to them for a maximum of 6-7 minutes. When small groups are working
together, they may be able to work together for up to 15-30 minutes. And if you are an
engaging storyteller, I find that they can listen as a whole group for up to 30 minutes!

So, it makes sense to plan and follow a healthy rhythm of passive and active learning for your
main lesson and each of your subject classes, painting, form drawing, music, Language Skills
and Math Skills classes. Here are a few key suggestions:

1. Keep your presentation of a new concept to a maximum of 5-6 minutes at the beginning
of first grade. You will find that you can naturally increase the amount of time over the
course of the year.

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2. Describe a concept through an imagination. These mental pictures are the gateway for
the children to learn new concepts. They help the abstract, dry idea become a long-term
memory by first engaging the ‘emotional brain’ to reach the ‘thinking brain’.

3. Ask volunteer students to demonstrate or point out something you are introducing.

4. Children learn best by doing! Create a rhythm that has both sitting still/focusing activities
with those that allow for physical movement throughout a lesson, just not at the
beginning. This cuts down on the children getting bored or cranky because they are
expected to do something they can’t developmentally do.
a. For example, have the children stand up if they hear a word that begins with the
/m/ sound and switch seats with their desk partner if they hear a word that begins
with the /p/ sound.

b. In between main lesson activities stimulate the lower senses of touch, life,
proprioception and balance with strengthening, stretching, balance and body
geography exercises or sing a song together. The end of the song is the natural
beginning for you to segue into your next activity.

5. Use fewer words than you think is necessary. This settles the class down and promotes
better pacing of the lesson. For examples:
a. Sing your instructions.
b. Pantomime (give visual cues) the instructions.
c. Whisper the instructions to one child and have him tell the rest of the class.

4. Build your class community

The Wise, Magic Elder knows that nurturing the children’s view of being ‘one with the world’
and really getting to know each child are crucial aspects of being successful in reaching her
goals. Here are some key ways to create your class community:

1. Get to know each child.

a. Steiner suggests that we get to know each of our students by learning as much as we
can about their home life. I did this by meeting with each child and her parents at a
home visit or a visit to the classroom before school begins. I asked the child about
her interests, her pets, her friends, etc. When I visited the child’s home, she would
show me her room. I did an assessment of each child’s skills at this meeting, checking
on her sensory-motor skills, her interest in learning, her memory skills, etc. I asked
the parents (without their child present) about how their child learns best, how she
deals with conflicts, how he/she lets adults know when she needs help, and what her
temperamental tendencies are.
b. Every day help each child feel a sense of connection to you and the class. For
example, make sure your handshake with each child every morning is meaningful.
Look into each child’s eyes, possibly ask a question about his baby brother or his pet,
share how excited you are about the day, etc. This builds each child’s trust in you,
which is essential if you want them to follow your instructions and strive to meet
your expectations.

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2. Work with their temperaments.
a. I strongly recommend that you learn as much as you can about temperaments. When
you understand and work with them as Steiner suggests you really cut down on a
number of annoying missteps.
b. Once you learn a bit about temperaments follow Steiner’s advice about working with
them. He suggests that over the course of the first months of First Grade, you
observe the children’s behaviors - how they approach their work, how they interact,
etc. and determine what their dominant temperament might be. Then sit them in
temperamental ‘pods’ in the room so they can work on each other. When you sit
melancholics and phlegmatics in the back, sanguines by the doors and windows, the
cholerics up front with you, they can actually help each other change their annoying
habits and strengthen their positive traits. I’m not joking, really! But I must add – it
isn’t easy for a new teacher to do. Get help from your mentor when you try this.
c. I also highly suggest that you learn more about telling pedagogical (healing) stories
for each temperament and tell them as often as possible in First Grade. They are very
powerful!

3. Implicitly teach work habits.

You can establish a deep sense of belonging to your ‘First Grade Family’ when you take the
time to implicitly teach healthy work habits in first grade. I have found that most first graders
are still learning how to organize their things, work with others, take turns, use materials, sit
properly, listen to others, etc. Without these work habits, the classroom environment will be
chaotic and learning academic concepts will be difficult for the majority of the children.

The children need your consistent, warm support to learn these habits. That’s where your
self-discipline, your ‘magic’, and thorough preparation come in.

During the summer before you start First Grade figure out what your ‘First Grade Family’
habits will be (for ideas see Appendix D). Also decide on how you will teach these habits and
how you will reinforce them over time. You want to teach and reinforce these skills in a fun,
imaginative and consistent way so that the children are excited to be organized, kind, and
engaged. Ask experienced teachers and the school’s kindergarten teachers for imaginations
that worked with their students.

4. Establish your behavior expectations and create your classroom agreements with the
students.
Along with the work habits above, such as how children will line up at the door, put away
their belongings, greet other teachers, etc., your class also needs to be very aware of and
follow your behavior expectations. You must be clear about what your ‘boundaries’ are. In
the summer think through what you expect of the children behavior-wise. Is it ok if children
break crayons or continually lose them? What about if a child tells others they can’t copy a
drawing he is doing? How will you deal with a child who doesn’t try his best?

Ask your school for a copy of the school’s behavior expectations (often called Discipline
Policy). Compare yours to the school’s expectations. Discuss with your mentor and your
colleagues who have taught first grade about these expectations – do they think they are
age-appropriate? Have you missed any?

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Consider how a child will learn an expectation if she consistently doesn’t/can’t follow it. How
will you support the child in learning and following through with each of your expectations?
Read the “See misbehavior as an opportunity” section for ideas about practice and making
amends.

Secondly, create class agreements with your students through leading a discussion about
what “we do in our First Grade so that everyone can learn and love coming to school”
through the following process.

On your 2nd or 3rd day of school, ask the children to think about how their family cooperates
and how people in their neighborhood work together. Talk about their parents’ work and
how they work as a team with other people. Share how the class is a community, a team that
needs to work together, and that their learning in school is their work and school is their
workplace.

Ask them to think of what is needed so that your class’s schoolwork will go smoothly. Your
students will most likely go into detail about what is ok and not ok to do. Listen to as many as
possible and start to group them in your mind. Only take 6-7 minutes on gathering up the
ideas. Then guide the students to see how all these ideas can fit into a few overarching
statements such as my personal favorite, the 3Bs:
Be kind.
Be safe.
Be ready.

Here is another set of agreements I have used as well. Notice that they are “we” statements:
We do our best work.
We respect each other and our supplies.
We help each other.
We ask for help.

Lastly, it’s important to write your class’s First Grade Agreements on a poster board and
hang in the classroom right by the blackboard. Why? I find that having it nearby and pointing
to an agreement when I see a child following one of them is an incredible reinforcement of
what we all agreed to follow. I also suggest that you have each subject teacher visit the class
during main lesson in the first or second week of school so that the students can tell the
teacher about your agreements and how they will be following them in the subject classes as
well.

5. Give your students opportunities to discover how capable they are

Else Gottgens, a revered Waldorf teacher and mentor, shared this adage: The teacher should
never do anything that the children can do for themselves. By guiding your students to
constructively use their personal power and autonomy in age-appropriate ways you
encourage healthy will development and endear yourself to them. But how, you ask?

Chores
Give them age-appropriate jobs and chores to do every day. Else urged all class teachers, no
matter the grade level, to teach their children how to set up for painting, hang them up on
the wall, file papers, organize shelves, wash chalkboards, etc. Steiner shared that this leads

Revised November 2019 12

them to a moral life. I followed their sage advice and was mightily impressed with what my
students were capable of. Not only that, I had more time to do other important work.

Get out of the way

Once your students know how to sing a song, recite a poem, do a movement exercise, etc.
step out of the activity. Have them do it for you once they know it. Show your enjoyment.
Always give specific and constructive feedback, such as, “You are singing the first 3 lines
clearly. Let’s work on the last line now. Never say, “Wow, that was beautiful!”

Teach restorative practices to solve social issues

Teach the children how to solve their interpersonal issues with you as mediator at first and
then gradually on their own. For example, when a child thinks that another child did
something inappropriate to him, teach him how to speak directly to that person. Let’s get
specific:
• Remember that you are the mediator and witness. Don’t solve. Instead guide the
children toward solution.
• First, don’t deal with the situation during class time. Wait until recess. I
handle these meetings during recess so that learning time isn’t lost and, secondly,
so that the misbehaving child doesn’t “lose face” and turn on you and the other
child.
• Have the ‘victim’ tell the ‘perpetrator' what transpired in his view. Then
the ‘perpetrator’ tells his side. Encourage this part to be succinct and accurate.
• Teach both children to speak objectively and wait their turn. If they get angry, they
have to take a break. Let them know that you are fine with waiting until each of
them calms down. Have them sit away from each other.
• Wait until both have spoken to ask the ‘victim’ what he wants the other child to
know or what he expects in the future. I expect the ‘perpetrator’ to say that he
accepts the other’s expectation and/or will fulfill his need.
• I don’t make children apologize since it usually isn’t heartfelt. I show my
appreciation when someone apologizes out of her own volition.
• Depending on the offense and how many times it has happened the ‘perpetrator’
may stay with me once this discussion is over so we can figure out if a consequence
is needed so that he can learn to stop engaging in this misbehavior.

As I mentioned above, when you are consistent with this process you will find that the
children learn how to move through this process without you as a mediator and speak
directly to each other to solve their issues!

Please share this process with your students’ parents at your first parent meeting. It’s
important for them to know how you will be dealing with misbehavior and student
disagreements.

6. Work with the Subject Teachers to “jive” your class management approaches
a. Share your work habit expectations and your class agreements with each subject
teacher. I highly recommend a class teacher-subject teachers meeting for each grade
before school begins during which you can share your approach, give the teachers a

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 short description of each student in the class, discuss how you will keep your
communication going, etc.
b. Ask each subject teacher to sit in on 1-2 main lessons and to see how you hold the
class, how you use a healthy rhythm to help keep misbehavior to a minimum, how
you handle misbehavior, etc. I find that if the subject teacher can adapt your
approach to fit her style, it is usually easier for her to focus on teaching and not
classroom management.
c. Always greet the subject teachers at the beginning of their classes and thank
them/say goodbye at the end. This shows the respect you want the children to have
for the teachers.
d. Check in with the subject teachers regularly to see how the class is doing.

5. See misbehavior as opportunity

Do you want to read some startling statistics about children’s behavior and adults’ reaction
to it? Get ready…

Did you know that adults ignore 90% children’s positive behavior? In fact, adults are 5-6x
more likely to give attention to children’s negative behavior than positive behavior. And
often our immediate gut reaction to misbehavior is to use our power to punish the child,
which makes sense to me if we don’t work on our own self-discipline. If we don’t have the
presence of mind to stop ourselves, we go to a reptilian brain/emotional brain response just
like a child often does.

In the spirit of self-discipline Rudolf Steiner gave us an incredible antidote to jumping to such
a gut reaction of unbridled power. He told us to view a child’s misbehavior as an attempt to
meet her needs. I repeat: a child’s misbehavior is an attempt to meet her needs. He urged us
to see the child’s behavior as a miss. He urged us to see it as an opportunity for the child to
learn another little bit about how to be in the world, how to learn self-control, how to reflect
on her actions, etc. Isn’t that the best!

Here are the guiding principles for a teacher who views misbehavior as opportunity:

1. You consistently catch the children behaving positively. When you catch this positive
behavior, you give the child(ren) immediate, positive feedback for it. At the beginning of
first grade, do this often! You don’t need to give stars, prizes, etc. Your
acknowledgement of appropriate behavior is all they need.

2. You tell children what they can do instead of what they can’t. For example, “You can
bounce the ball outside.”

3. You don’t notice every misbehavior. You know that it’s okay to turn a blind eye here and
there as long as the student(s) don’t know you observed the misbehavior.

4. You emphasize that they are learning how to be first graders and you are there to help
them in their journey. You don’t expect them to just know how to do it all. Here are ways
that helped me guide them along the path without addressing each misbehavior:

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 a. Thank a child near the child who is misbehaving instead of giving attention to the
one who is inappropriate.
b. Move to an individual child who is behaving inappropriately and whisper what is
expected.
c. Ask a volunteer to tell you what is expected when a child or two forgets and is
misbehaving without mentioning the specific misbehavior. Then move on. Don’t
lecture.

5. When most of the children forget a behavior or work expectation, you have the whole
class practice it right then without it feeling punitive. For example, if they ‘fly out’ during
a transition, lead them through a “fun” practice of talking, talking, talking and then when
they hear the bell, or you stand before them (whatever it is you use to have them come
to quiet) they have to come to quiet. Practice it three times in a row. Give them positive
feedback about how they did. Support them in doing it better each time. Remind them
that they are learning and that you are sure they will remember next time. And remind
yourself that it takes time!

6. You are always considering what each child may be thinking, feeling, learning, and/or
deciding about himself and his world that might make him misbehave as observed. Is she
surviving or thriving when she acts up? You ask yourself how you can help the child feel
more secure with you so that she will feel comfortable enough to behave appropriately.

7. If you see that a child is beginning to “fall apart”, you find a task for him to redirect his
energy. You are the one who decides what kind of redirection is needed. Some children
need to take a note to the office. Some need to still be a part of the lesson, just a bit
removed from the other children.

a. I created a place in the back of the room for such needs. It was the ‘quiet chair’ with
one activity to help a child center herself again. Two suggested activities are to roll
yarn into a ball and pat a few plasticine clay balls into pancakes. I led the child to the
quiet chair and kindly told her that her task with the yarn or clay would be a big help
to the class. She was allowed to sit quietly or to do the task. Sometimes I told the
child when to return to her seat, other times I felt it best for the child to choose the
time. I let all the children know on the first day of school about the quiet chair. I
shared that they could also ask me to go to the quiet chair when they thought they
needed to.

8. You strive to always keep a positive picture of the child in your mind’s eye (as mentioned
earlier), especially when dealing with her misbehavior. You hold in your heart that each
child wants to understand how to get along, how to be part of your ‘tribe’. Some are just
slowly awakening to the fact that poor choices must have consequences.

9. You do a quick assessment of the misbehavior. Ask these questions:

a. Does he not know what is expected of him? This is easy to solve since it is normal
and healthy to test boundaries. You can chalk it up to the child learning how to
become a human being, learning boundaries.
b. Does he know your expectation but can’t control himself? You need to ask
yourself if you are being consistent enough in following through. Are your

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 boundaries clear? With this one you might need to have the child practice with
you. You might need to adjust the schedule for this child if he is feeling too
rushed and then gets ‘out of himself’.
c. Does he know but doesn’t care? This is a relationship issue. You need to ask in
your meditation, ‘What ails you?’ on a soul level. You most likely need to repair or
build a stronger relationship with the child. Move your own agenda to the back
burner to notice what might be behind the child’s defiance.

10. You address the misbehavior accordingly. This entails considering the child’s dominant
temperament. See Appendix E for temperament information. In general, you address
misbehavior with this pattern:
a. Connect before you correct. You want the child to feel your compassion and
interest on a deeper level. Depending on the situation you may want to make
eye contact, stoop down to her level, or put your hand on her shoulder before
correcting her.
b. Acknowledge the child’s perspective then enforce your boundary, for example,
“It looks like you want to stack your crayons right now instead of putting them
away.” This helps the child move to a calm state, out of fight or flight.
c. Allow the child to experience the consequence of his behavior. You know it’s
important for him to feel remorse and to aim to make it right. Show him how
he can make it better. For example, if a child damages something, the best
resolution is for the child to repair it (with your help most likely).
d. As mentioned on pages 12-13, when two or more children have an altercation or
disagreement, you bring them together to tell each other what each think
happened and what each need from the other with you as mediator. Each must
listen to the other without interrupting. Listen and give suggestions if needed.
Rephrase unkind words. Show that there is solution for all issues. Defuse
confrontation. The question that must be answered is, ‘what can be done to
make things right again?’ Again, apologies are not expected. Resolution is. Only
those involved directly are a part of this meeting. This communication work is
done at recess or after school.
e. If a child is angry, talks back to you, etc., calmly share, ‘I can hear you when you
are calm. Try again when you have calmed down.’
f. If a child has a tantrum or exhibits over the top behavior, do purposeful work
with her to help her find her connection to herself and your authority again, i.e.,
helping you in the classroom, sweeping outside, etc.

11. You create a consequence system such as my “reminder” system. This works well in
extinguishing certain common behaviors like calling out answers, disturbing others, etc.
Each child can have two reminders per day to follow the expectation. When the child has
to be reminded a third time, there will need to be an active practice time during recess
with you, not a lecture.

12. You understand that you will always have at least 2-3 “greatest colleagues”. Who are
your “greatest colleagues”? One of my most beloved mentors called those children who
misbehave the most, who have the most challenge in learning your expectations, who
push your buttons constantly, who really need your love and interest are these “greatest
colleagues”.

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 These “greatest colleagues” take more time to learn boundaries than others. They need
you to consistently, firmly and lovingly work with them, specifically:
a. Give them consistent homeopathic consequences of practice with you at recess
with lots of positive support of “how they are learning the right thing to do”.
b. Strategically place their desks in the room so that they can have a ‘breather’
without disturbing too many other students.
c. Meet with their parents and learn as much as possible about their home life.
Create a positive support plan with the parents that might include diet changes,
more sleep, and more one-on-one time for you and the child and/or for the
parent(s) and the child. Meet with the school’s Care Group or Student Support
Team as well to get their support on meeting this child’s needs appropriately.

13. You know that how you perceive and treat each child is how she will treat you, so you
strive to notice your own hidden reaction patterns to certain children or behaviors. You
might err towards feeling like there should be retaliation for wrongs done or move to
shaming a child who is pushing your buttons. Or you might err on the other side – of
doing nothing. Either reaction leads the child to feel abandoned along with knowing he
is being unruly. That’s why it’s crucial for you to take the time to talk it through with your
trusted colleague or mentor, to self-evaluate and make a proactive plan to work on
what’s really going on in you.

14. You ask for help from colleagues if you are struggling with a child or a classroom
situation if it persists beyond one week or when a child’s behavior escalates.

APPENDIX A
TEACHING STYLES

Hot Just Right Cool

Authoritarian Authoritative Indulgent
Antipathy Empathy Sympathy
Power Influence Permissive
Teacher demands and Teacher is attentive and Teacher is very involved
makes rules sets limits but has few limits
Talks at child; Talks with child; guides, Talks as if child is adult;
commands, criticizes encourages allows, asks, pleads
Unrealistic expectations Sees child’s capacities Low expectations of
of child’s capacities unfolding capacities
developmentally
Teacher finds faults Teacher acknowledges Teacher praises
achievements
Teacher withholds what Teacher gives what child Teacher gives what child
child needs needs wants
Teacher punishes, Teacher helps, Teacher gives too many
child obeys encourages autonomy; choices;

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 Child is directed
Sees teaching as a battle Sees teaching as
demanding vocation but
worth it
Variety of outcomes for Variety of outcomes for
child: obedient, child: reliant, inquisitive,
proficient, unhappy, cooperative, self-
moody, increased assured, successful,
aggression, trouble respects teachers
socializing
Child demands
Sees teaching as
overwhelming or
undemanding
Variety of outcomes for
child: independent,
emotionally secure,
impulsive, rebellious,
dependent, aggressive,
believes teach doesn’t
care

APPENDIX B

Morning meditation
Dear God, Make it so that I,
With regard to my own personal ambition,
May completely extinguish myself.
And may the words of Saint Paul ring true in me:
Not I but Christ in me;
Then the Holy Spirit may dwell within the teacher.

Another morning meditation

May wisdom shine through me.
May love glow within me.
May strength penetrate me,
That in me may arise
A helper of humankind
A servant of sacred things,
Selfless and true.

Faculty Verse
We have the will to work,
By letting flow into our work,
That which, coming out of the spiritual world,
Strives to become human within us
In a soul-spiritual and life-bodily way.

The Social Motto

The healthy social life is found (formed),
When in the mirror of each human soul,
The whole Community finds its reflection.
And, when in the community,
The virtue of each one is living.

Steiner gave this verse for America

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May our feelings reach
Our heart’s inmost core,
And seek to unite in love
With those who share our goals,
With spirits, who full of grace,
Look down upon our earnest, heartfelt striving
Sending strength from realms of light
Bringing clarity into our love.

APPENDIX C

The Six Basic Exercises from R. Steiner:

Practicing self-control over one's thinking. For example: for a few minutes, not long,
contemplate any object and concentrate one's thoughts exclusively on this object (a paper
clip as an example) and the process of its making. Return to thinking about the object once
you realize your mind is wandering.

Development of initiative. For example, choose any positive but free deed, i.e. one that
nothing is influencing you to do like twisting your ring around your finger once, and choose a
regular time of day or day of the week to practice this.

Equanimity. Practice quieting your reactive emotions each time they come up.

Positivity. See the positive aspects of everything and make the best out of every situation.

Open-mindedness. Be open to new experiences and ideas, never letting expectations based
upon the past close your mind to the lessons of the moment.

Harmony. Find a harmonious, balanced relationship between the above five qualities,
practicing them regularly and becoming able to move dynamically between them.

APPENDIX D
Work Habits
Here is a list of necessary habits gathered from experienced Waldorf teachers. The children
need to learn how to:

GENERAL
• Enter the classroom
• Enter the classroom if you come late
• Walk only in classroom
• Put lunch, shoes, coats, etc. away
• Bring toys or other belongings to school (or not)
• Use an ‘indoor’ voice in the classroom
• Lift the chair and put it under the desk
• Stand for beginning and ending verses

Revised November 2019 19

 • Wait at the end of story or poem to internalize
• Raise your hand and wait to be called on
• Whisper to a neighbor instead of raising your hand
• Come to quiet when teacher stands in front of class
• Follow teacher’s gestures for standing up, getting a drink, going to toilet
• Join in all activities
• Greet guests or subject teachers
• Get a drink, tissue, etc.
• Go to toilet (consider making only one toilet pass to use)
• Do chores each day
• Tidy the room and put up chairs each day before leaving
• End each day together with music, ending verse, goodbye handshake

MATERIALS
• Care for each kind of material (crayons, paper, beeswax, paints, slates, chalk, sand
trays, etc.) from the moment they are given. Tell the children how these materials
have been shared with us from the bees, trees, etc.
• Take out and put away materials
• Order their desk and cubby, order shelves, cupboards. ‘There is a place for everything
and everything in its place’
• Touch the chalkboard, seasonal table, teacher’s desk, shelves, cupboards
• Recycle of materials, picking up trash on floor
• Look after fresh flowers, plants, seasonal table

SUBJECT CLASSES
• Transition from one class to another: how quiet need to be, when to greet, ask
questions
• Painting: pass out materials, share paints, dry paper, properly use paintbrush, clean
• Beeswax modeling: sit in circle or at desk, pass out beeswax, model from whole to
parts, not use desk, ask for help, display

EATING
• Remain seated when eating
• Use cloth napkin or place mat
• Speak when eating
• Share food

OUTSIDE
• Where allowed to go on campus
• Use and store supplies (balls, ropes, jacks, etc.)
• Play with other classes
• Take care of restrooms

APPENDIX E
Temperament Information: See Attached document

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