‘Because of you?”
“He's convinced hime he cant go away and lave me hee
‘Ofcourse, can manage perfectly well But he ies to pretend
rm quit helpless, likely to getup tal srs of mischien is
absence?
“IstheAtks Brookings olege faraway?”
“Aday’s drive. Burdinanc is beside the pot. Hes convinced
am hour i about as much athe can eave me on ny owa. Now
how wile grow up and go out int the word if he ca’ leave
sme for more than an hour atime?”
‘Outside, Rick boan t step down the boards towards the
ass. He dds lowly, asif daydreaming, and 1 ould el fem
the way he kept one arm stil to his ches that he was sill
holding Jose's drawing, As his bead and shoulders descended
‘oat of view Miss Helen went on:
“What Iily wished vo ae you, Klara The el request the
deeper one, Would you ak Jove to try and persuade Rich? She's
the one person who might change his tance. He's very stub-
born, you see, and also =I suspect this rather afi And who.
can blame him? He kaows the world out there wos be ery:
Bat Jose's the one capable of geting him to see hie diferent.
ill you speak to her? I know you have big nflence on het
‘Would you do thi forme? Mention to er not just the once,
but ove and ove so shel exer a rel presse oa hina?
"Of course Ti be pleased to do so. But I believe Josie has
already spoken to Rick in jus chese tems. The curent ft
‘berween them may infact have to do with Josie expressing her
self 0 foreflly on thi ery topic”
"That intresting to know. If what you sy is corect, then
ie more portant than eves, what Fen asking you, Josie ay
ful she as to relent in order for them to make up. She may
153
‘come to feel she was wrong ever to take the aad she di
‘Well, you must speak with her. Tel her she muse persevere,
‘ever mind wha temper tants he throws ssmething the
mater dear?”
‘Tn sorry jot tha I'm ale surprised?
“Ok? Why are you surprised, dear™
"Well... Frankly, mn surprised because Mise Helens
request concerning Rick appears very sincere. I'm surprised
Someone wou desire so much path that would eave her in
loneliness
‘And that's wha suprises you?
“Yes: Until rece, | dda’ think that humans could choose
loneliness. That there were sometimes forces more powerful
than the wish o avoid lonlnes”
Mis Helen smiled. "You ely ae a sweet one: You don' say
1s much, but I can tll what you'e thinking. A mother’s love
for her son. Such a noble thing, to overide the dread of lone
lines And you mighe no be wrong. But let me ll you, there
arcall kinds of other very good easos why, ina fe like ine,
‘one migh prefer loneliness I've often made such a choice in the
pst Lids, for inane, rather than say with Rick’ father,
Late father, very sadly, though Rick has no memory of him
Even 50, he was for awhile my husband, and not an enely
sles one atcha. Is thanks ro him we're abl o get by this
say, even if we don't exactly ive in splendor. Here’ Rick com-
ing back spun. Ob, he's not He wishes to nay out there and
sulk futher?
Indeed, Rick had come walking up the plank stepsand glanced
towards the house, but had then sat down on the op stp, his
‘back tend ous once more
"Lust een to oss Ts then. I was very kind of MiseHelen to take me into her confidence. I'l do as you atk and
speak wih ose”
“And speak with her repestely Titi Rick’ only chance.
‘And as Tsay, Fhave a secee weapon. A contact. Perhaps the
next ime Chrisie takes Josie ito the city, peshaps when she
next sits for her port, Rick and I could cde a ride. Then
Rick could meet my secret weipon, hopefully impress him.
(Chsie and I have already spoken about i. Bur ll of his is
weless until Rick changes hisartiude”
“Tundertand. Then goodbye. I must go now
‘When {stepped our ono the platform, I could fel the wind
‘lowing ehough the gaps of the planks mote strongly than
before The ils were no longer divided ino bores, 50 I could
se single clear pctre all the way othe horizon. Despite the
sere angle, Me MeBain's bar was where Texpecte it tobe,
‘though now a slighty changed shape ro the one from Josie ear
‘window:
1 walked past the cobweb efrgerstor tthe top plank where
Rick was sated. I thought he might til be angry and ignore
tne but he looked up with eal eyes
“Ya sony ify vii ome fetiony Tid
“Hardly your fle Toten gt like hat”
‘We both loked a the fis before us, nd I eliza ater 3
smoment that his gaze ike ning, was on Me McBia’s barn.
"You were saying something’ he sid. “Before Mam came
down, You wee saying how you wanted to go out wo that barn
for some reason”
“Yes And it wl have tobe inthe evening. He's even to
tine sch trip aceuratly?
“And you're sure you don't want me ogo with you?”
“tes very kind of Rick Butif here are informal eis eng
155,
to Me McBain’ ae, e's bert fg alone es important I don't
‘ake anything for granted”
‘Okay. If you say so” He was squinting up a me, pay
1 account ofthe Sen's paten on his fae, but also Treal=
ize, because he was once again studying me catflly, perhaps
assering my ability co make such & journey. ‘Look,’ he sad
‘eventually T dont relly understand what hiss about. Bu if
its gong to help Josie o ge ber, thea, wel good luck"
“Thank you. Now I must eur to the house
“You know, 'vebeen thinking about esi. Perhaps you
ould tel Josie I relly liked he picture. That Iwas grateful
And thatif its okay with er, dik come over soon ad tll
hee ha nse”
‘Jose will beso happy when she hears”
“Maybe tomorrow even.”
"Yes, of course, Wall then, goodbye. Iwas avery intersting
‘wip for me. Thankyou for your useful advice”
“See you, Klas. Go carefully?
“The timing of my journey to Me McBsin'sbar, 6 'told Rick,
‘was crucial and when I crossed the loose stones towards the
picture frame gate forthe secon time cha day afar amet
‘ny nd that'd nae slated. The Sun wa alteady low before
‘me—and I could’ asume the second ad hid Fields would be
as easy wo navigat asthe Set
My journey began reassuring, she informal ei to Rick’
house similar to what i ad been in the morning. Thi time 1
‘ad both hand to push away the gras, anda did so, evening
inset flew up. saw more insecs hovering before me inthe ai,
186nervously exchanging positions, bur unilingto abandon their
friendly ster
My fea of not reaching Mr McBain’ bar in tme caused me
to give only brie lance at Rik’ house as passed it and
then Twas further along the informal trl beyond any point 'd
‘been went through another picture fame gate, then the grass
‘cts too tall to ace the har anymore Te ld became pau-
‘iioned nto boxes, some larger than others, and T pressed 0,
‘coascous ofthe contrasting atmospheres berween one box and
another One moment the grass would be soft and yelng the
round exsy to ead then ' cross boundary and everything
‘would darken, the pase would resist my pushes, and there
‘would be srange noises around me, making me fearful hat Pd
made a serious miscalculation, tha there was no justifiable ex
so to disturb is pivay inthe manner wa hoping do, that
my efforts would have gravely negative consequenes for Josie.
‘While crossing one pariculry unkind box, heard around me
‘he cries ofa anima in pin and picture came into my sind
of Rosy, siting onthe rough ground somewhere outdoors ile
pieces of meal catered around he, as she reached out both
Jhands to grap one of her lege tetched ot ily before her
“The image was in my mind for only «second, but the animal
carried on making its nose, and I fel the ground collapsing
‘beneath me I remembered the terrible bal on the wall up to
Morgans Falls and how in all probability i had emerged from
‘beneath the ground, and fora brief momen, eventhough the
‘Sun wasn't kind at al, and this wae the tue reson for Joi’
‘worsening condition. Even inthis confeson, Iwas convinced
tha if ould oaly poll myself chrough oto kinder bo,
become sf. I'd alo ben aware of voice cling to me and 1
‘ow spotted an abject shaped like one ofthe overhaul men's
197
traffic cones ~ placed in the gas alin ahead of me. The oie
was coming from behind this cone, and when I wed 10 move
towards it calcd it was in face two coves one inserted eto
the othe allowing the higher one to perform a rocking mation,
perhaps to draw the atention of pasters-by.
Klara! Come on! Over hee”
"came else, shen eaized thee weren't cones a all, but
Bick, holding back che grass with one hand and reaching the
ther towards me. Now tha I'd recognized him, 1 had even
‘more incentive to move towards him, but my fet sank further,
and Lkew if atempead another sp 18 lose balance and fll,
deep into the ground. [knew too that despite Rick appearing
1 be within touching dance, he was noe in reality 50 neat
because ofthe fierce border sepuratng our boxes. Even 4, he
‘continued to reach out towards me, and where his arm crossed
into my bo, it appeared elongated and bent,
“Klrscome oat”
‘Buc accepted now that I would soon fll into the ground,
‘tha the Son was angry with me, and perhaps unkind, snd hat
Josie was diappointed with me. 1 began to lose orientation,
‘ven as Rick's arm gre longer and more crooked slit touched
me, Iestopped me ling, and ny fee tad lie
“Okey, Klar This wa.
Hie wa guiding ~ almost earying = me across, and then
‘was in kind bos, the Sun's generous pattern over ms and my
‘thoughts found order ce more
“Thank you. Thank you fr coming vo hel.
“Tsaw you from my window: Are you okay?"
"Ys, everything i fine again. The fel posed more problems
than expected”
“Isuppose these lin ditchescan gt icky. Thats, from
188up ther, you looked like one of thos lies that buzz around
blindly a the window pane: But thas unkind 'm sorry”
eile and ss fel so foolish’ Then remembering, 1
looked upto check the Sun's postion. “This journey ssoimpor-
nt Ts looking at him again “Bu eximated incorrectly and
ow I wont get therein time”
“The grat ws sill oo high to see Me McBain’ barn inthe
istanes, but Rick was looking sagt ints direction, hand
shielding his ees andi occurred to me he was tll enough to
“shoul have lef the hows eae I a "egal ofthe
owkwardnes when Irerarned. But I was waiting il Jose fll
asleep, and oallow Melani Housekeeper to believe going,
fom anther errand to Rick's hous. I though there'd be sul
en ime, bathe fields were more complex than imagined’
Rick was sil looking towards Mr McBain’ bats. “You keep
saying you wont ge therein ime he suid. But when exactly
Ai you want tobe thee?”
"Jos asthe Suns arriving at Me McBuin' barn. But belore be
pps forks?
"Look, I don't understand any ofthis. And appreciate you
cant le me inom it for whatever reson. But if you want, I'l
take you there
"Thats very kind, Buc even with Rick guiding 1 bebe is
ow too lt:
woulda’ guide you. I'l cary you. Piggyback. We've gots
‘way to goyet, bu if we hur Think we can make it?
"You'd do that?”
"You keep saying it's important. Imporant for Josie. $0 yes,
Tike wo help. This is over my head, but shen I'm used co that.
we're going, we have to hurry”
159
He tuned and lowered hinsell into crouching poston. 1
‘understood I was climb on his back, and immedistely id
50~clasping my arms and legs around him ~he began ro moe,
[Now I was higher, I could se ewer che evening sky, andthe
oof of Mr McBsia's barn ahead of us Rick moved confided,
crashing trough the grass and since his arms were occupied
holding me, most of the impact was taken by his head and
shoulders. I elt srry about this and tha thee was so line
could do myself psh ack the grass
“Then Hooked p past Rick's head and saw chat the sky bad
become divided into segmens of ieepular shape. Some s9-
ments wer glowing orang or pink, while others showed pices
ofthe night shy seston ofthe moon visible aa omer ore
[As Rick moved forward the segments kept overlapping and
spacing one another, even a we passed though another pi
cure fame gate. After thar the grass, instead of being delicate
snd waving, ame towards ura at shapes, possibly made from
Ieary board auch a the sort ed for street advertising, and 1
feared they would cause Rick injury ashe plunged iato them
‘Then the sky and the field were no longer in segments, but one
broad picture, nd Mr MeBains bara wat looming before os
“Theuneasy though that had been growingin my snd could
‘now no longer be set aside. Even before Rick had come to my
sid, Y'd saree to wonder if the Sun's resting place really wat
inside the barn itself. OF course, I'd been the on, not Josie,
who'd ft soggeted sich a thing, tha ime we'd ged cat
together from the rear window, so any such eror was ety
‘my own, Certily, there was no question of Jose having misled
160sme at any age, Even soit was a dicouraging thought thatthe
Sua was about to descend not into the place Iwas making sh
aneffort wo eeach, but somewhere farther wa sill
‘What [now observed obliged me to accept that my fr was
justified Me McBai’s barn was ule any building see, I
resembled the outer shell of house the men hada yee she.
‘There war a gray roof witha facing angen the usual manner,
supported tothe left and righ by all ofa darker shade But
par from the setons enclosing the oof, the structure had no
walls font of tear The win, I knew, was even then blowing
sight che way through with barely any obstruction. And the
Sun, sa; had now fallen behind he bar's structure, and was
seoding his ays through the rear opening bck out ous a5 we
sppreahed
‘Wed meanwhile come into a ceaing aot unlike the one
‘upon which Rick’s house was but, There was grass her, but
Jirhad been et, perhaps by Mr McBain himself, co just above
feet evel. The carting had been performed skilfully, that 2
pater could be sen weaving towards she barn entrance and
‘because the Sun was now shining straight through the bara is
shadow was spreading cross the grass towards us
“Though i seemed dacourcous, I signaled urgently to Rick
‘by Sihtening my arms and les Please stp!" whispered into
his ee ‘Seop! Pease let me down”
He lowered me caeflly, and we both gazed atthe scene
before us. Although I now had to acept the barn coulda be
‘he S's actual esting place, allowed myself an encouraging
posit: chat regudlss of whee the Sun ulimatly stl,
Mr MeBuins bum was 2 place be made a point of calling at
Lae hing each evening, js as Josie always visited er ensuite
tefonereiing to bed.
“Vm so grateful’ 1 sid, keping my voice low, despite the
‘outdoor aovstis. "But from her, it’s best Rick leaves me and
Igo alone?
"Whatever you ty. If you like, Pl wait hee for you. How
long da you suppose you'l be?
“Tes best Rick returns to his house, Miss Helen will worry
otherwise”
"Mum wl be fine. I chink Td beter wat. Remember how it
vib ging before Tene on the soem? Aad or oor beck.
will probably ben the dark”
"TH have to manage. Rick has been t00 kind already. And
its best emer alone. As iti, standing here ike his i might
already be tang to much privacy”
Rick looked again at Mr McBain's barn, then shrugged.
“Otay. eave you tot: Whatever this it you have odo."
“Thank you?
"Good luck, Klara. 1 mean it?
He eurned and walked back ito the tll rss and soon 1
«ould no longer shim,
(ace sone, | began to place my thoughts ally on dhe ask
before me. Iv occured to me tha if passerby had stood
det before the barn even five minutes eal, they would
have been able to sce not only the evening sky through the
‘eae, and the contouaion ofthe ld, bt also oe more ofthe
bur’ shadowy interioe But now, wich the Suns rays coming
straight towards me, could make out only some blurted box-
like shapes stacked one ontop ofthe other. And the thought
retard tome with more certsinty than eve thit,even a6c00n-
ing fo the Sts ret gmeroitywht Iwas uot odo cased
ris, and would requte all my conceneation. I heard behind
ime the breeze inthe grass and the ries of ditane birds, and
92‘ordering my thoughts I walked across theca geass towards Me
‘Msn’ bar,
“The inerior was filed with orange light. There were pares
of hay drifting in the ae ike evening insets, and his patterns
‘were fling ll across the barns wooden floor. Whea I glanced
lbhind me my own shadow looked like ll shin re ready t0
‘break inthe wind,
‘There were some trou estar abou my surroundings. On
fi enerng the barn, I'd encountered sch sharply conrasing