Chapter One

Being a single mom at the age of seventeen was not

easy. Well of course it was never going to be easy, what
did I expect? That my so called high school sweetheart
was going to leave school, miraculously find a job that
pays well, ask me to marry him and live happily ever after
with our child? Well if I’m being honest, a part of me did
actually believe that we were going to get married one
day and try to navigate through life together. Poor me, I
was so naïve! But don’t judge me, I was only sixteen.
What actually happened is exactly the opposite of what I
was hoping for. When I told him I was pregnant with his
child he simply said “get rid of it.” Yeap, just like that
with no care in the world. Thinking about it now I realize I
should be patting myself on the shoulder instead of
kicking myself for the imbecilic glitches I made as a
teenager. I’m not quite where I want to be in terms of
success but I am working my way there. I’ve come a long
way from where I started, I swear if I was featured on the
show 16 And Pregnant I would have gotten paid three
times more than what the other girls got paid. Yes that's
how chaotic and dramatic my life was (specifically right
after giving birth because I was sort of a “snob” before
that). But I got back up on my feet. I made it through.
Yes, I’m still a single parent but I live in a nice complex, I
have a car, I make a decent living and my child goes to
one of the best schools in the city. Surely I deserve some
credits for that?

I’m distracted from my deep thoughts by the sound of

the Samsung whistle alerting a message from my phone.
I fish it out of my handbag on the floor. There’s a text
from my best friend. Her name is Slindile but she’s just
known as Sli. Oh by the way my name is Bulelwa Mihlali
Nzimande (My mother is Xhosa and my father was a Zulu,
hence the Xhosa names and Zulu surname.) I’m 23, I was
born and bred in KZN, Pietermaritzburg and I still stay in
PMB. I’m a senior sub-editor at a fashion magazine
company. I have a six year old daughter, her name is
Quinn and a younger sister Babalwa – my daughter calls
her Bebe. (That’s as far as I can tell you about my family
for now.) What else? There’s not much intriguing or
exciting about my life, it’s just juggling between work and
being a mom really.
Now that the intro part is out of the way, where was I?
Oh the text from Sli. She’s asking me if I’d like to go out
with the girls for a few drinks tonight. And by ‘girls’ she
means her supererogatory friends. They not exactly the
kind of people I would hang out with but I’ve been out
with them a few times because Sli would drag me along
regardless of my protests. She gets along with them
because she’s also extra but Sli is special. I don’t even
know why she’s asking me cause whether I agree or not,
she’ll make me go anyway. That’s how much of a bully
she is.

Now I have to call my sister and beg her to come over at

my place so she can stay with Quinn and I know she
won’t be too keen on that. I mean, which normal
seventeen year old would want to stay in on a Friday
night and babysit? But her weakness is money so there’s
nothing a few hundreds can’t fix.
I dial her number on my phone. It rings once and she
picks up. Well I’m not surprised, her phone is always on
her hands.
“B!” she says a little too loud. Okay she’s in a good mood
which means it’s safe to ask.
“Hey are you busy tonight?”
“Well it depends on why you’re asking.”
Sigh.
“Babalwa please, I’m going out tonight and I need
someone to stay with Quinn.”
“Oh yes I’m definitely busy tonight.”
“R300?”
“R400 and I’ll be there by 6 pm.” She says and drops the
call. This child and money though, seriously who gets
paid that much money to babysit their niece?

I check the time on my wrist watch. It’s finally time for

me to get out of this place. I shut down my laptop and I
take off the “office shoes” and I put on my stilettos. I do
that every day, I walk in here in heels like some
aristocratic woman but I change to flat shoes (even
slippers sometimes) once I get to my desk, and I put the
heels back on when I knock-off, don’t judge me.

I drive straight to Sli’s place in Scottsville to pick up my

princess. Our daughters go to the same school so she
picks them up every day cause she leaves work earlier
and she lives closer to the school than me.
The gate is opened which is strange but I drive in anyway.
When I enter the house the girls come running to me
both screaming “Momma!” yes, even Kuchi (Sli’s
daughter) calls me mom sometimes which is funny cause
she calls her mom by name.
Our daughters do everything together. They’re the same
age, they go to the same school, same grade… they
pretty much twins. Which is also one of the reasons
behind Sli and I’s friendship.

Sli and I are very different yet we’re also the same, I
don’t know how to explain it, it’s weird. We went
through similar situations when we were younger. We
both got pregnant in high school and we kind of bonded
over that. The only exception is that her baby daddy is a
Nigerian man who is old enough to be her grandfather.
Well he was her.. What we call 'sugar daddy' until she
told him she was pregnant and the gorilla decided to run
back to his wife and kids in Nigeria. (I’m not being funny,
he really does look like a gorilla.) It’s actually God’s grace
that Kuchi took her mom’s looks. She’s a very cute baby…
Oh wow look at me spilling my friend’s tea and yet you
don’t even know my full story. But I’ll leave that for
another day.

Usually when we go out I leave Quinn at Sli’s place

because unlike me, she has a nanny but I told her my
sister is coming over today so we don’t have to worry
about that. Kuchi wanted to visit for the weekend but I
don’t want to leave Babalwa with two six-year olds, she’ll
go crazy. I told Sli she can bring her to my house
tomorrow.

We get home and Quinn jumps out of the car and she
runs to wait for me by the front door. Do kids ever walk
like normal people? Or is it just my kid who is always
running? Mind you, she left me to carry her school bag,
her lunch bag, my handbag and my laptop bag – all by
myself. Smh.

It’s 17.30 so I still have enough time to cook before I get

ready. But I’m not in the mood. I guess I’ll just order
pizza. Who cooks on a Friday anyway?
I settle on the couch with a glass of red wine in my hand
to watch The Real. Quinn is laying on her stomach on the
floor engrossed on her tablet. We hear the gate buzzer. I
guess Babalwa is here.

“I’ll get it!” Quinn says while getting up and she runs to
the kitchen to grab the gate remote before running out
to the gate. She doesn’t even know who it is. You know
I’ve spoken to her so many times that she should never
run to the gate when she doesn’t know who buzzed but
it gets in on one ear and leaves through the other.

Now security at this complex is very tight. There’s no way

I can just buzz someone in. You press the house number
on the intercom and someone from that house has to
come to the gate with the remote to open.
*
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Chapter 2? Yes? No? Maybe?
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Chapter Two

Last night was lit okay! I haven’t had that much fun in a
very long time. I don’t remember much that happened
but what I do recall is that surprisingly I was wasted more
than Sli which never happens. I’m always the one driving
cause I’m the responsible one but last night she ended
up driving us back. She dropped me off and left with my
car. I’m not even sure what time we came back. Damn!
My head is pounding!

I roll out of bed and I make my way to my en-suit

bathroom. I take some aspirin. My body feels like I’ve
been ran over by a truck, yikes! I settle for a really hot
shower thinking it would maybe ease the pain.
When I walk out of my bedroom I’m feeling slightly
better. I find Quinn sitting with her legs on the couch
watching Trace and singing along to the song playing.
Other kids watch Nickelodeon and Disney but my child
deals with the music channels and she knows every song.
“Morning nana.” I greet with a beaming smile on my
face. She doesn’t smile back.
“Where were you last night? You said you’d be back by
10 but I waited and waited and you never came back
until I fell asleep. Where were you?” she demands.
“I was…” Oh wow! Never in my life have I thought I’d
have to answer to a very intimidating six year old. Come
on Bulelwa, she’s only six! Think of a lie quick quick.
“Uhm.. You see.. I was coming back and I ran out of fuel
so I waited a very long time on the road for someone to
come and rescue me.” I lie. “Where’s Bebe?” I quickly
change the subject before she shoots further questions.
“She’s in the room.” She says and she turns her focus
back on the TV.

It’s almost 12 pm but I wouldn’t be surprised if Babalwa

is still sleeping. The girl can sleep through an earthquake.

I make cereal for myself and Quinn but I only eat two
spoons and I push it away. I feel funny. I make my way to
Quinn’s bedroom to tidy up and on my way out I bump
into Babalwa in the passage.
“I thought you were dead.” I joke.
“Dude and you didn’t even bother to get my body to a
mortuary.” She rolls her eyes while walking in the
bathroom.

I have a helper that comes on Mondays and Thursdays so

the house is pretty clean. And honestly, I’m just lazy. So I
decide to scroll on my social media while I wait for the
diva in the bathroom to finish so I can run my baby a
bath.

Oh I have a friend request on Facebook from some guy

named Jason Lekoane. I don’t know him but when I look
at his pictures his face seems familiar. I accept
nonetheless.
A minute later I see an inbox from him. Okay.

“Hey gorgeous, thanks for accepting. I had such a great

time last night, and to be honest I can’t stop thinking
about you. Can’t wait to see you tonight.”
Huh? What is this guy on about? I don’t even know him.
“Sorry, do I know you?” I reply.
I’m so confused. And then it suddenly clicks – last night I
was too wasted to remember anything. Oh no! God
please tell me it’s not what I think it is. And Sli was there!
Surely she wouldn’t let me do something as stupid as
that! I’m sweating. And why the fuck isn’t this guy
replying now?

I log off Facebook and I dial Sli’s number. It rings but no

answer. I try again, no answer. I’m getting frustrated. I
try for the third time, nothing. Damnit!

I gave my child a bath and dressed her up like me. Blue

jeans, white shirt and uggs. She’s such a cutie though.
She has her father’s big hazel brown eyes and his nose
but everything else resembles me. She even took my
dimples.
“Beguiled by your own daughter?” says Babalwa walking
in the lounge.
I realise I was just staring at my daughter and smiling like
an idiot. She’s so enthralled on her tablet she didn’t even
notice. Knowing my child, she would have told me to
stop staring at her.
“You would too if you had such a cute baby.” I say. She
rolls her eyes.
“Wanky! You should be thankful she looks like her father
cause had she took your looks she would have been an
ugly ass baby.” She whispers. Babalwa though.
“That is so mean. And Quinn looks like me, I don’t know
what you talking about.”
“Double wanky! What happened to your car? It’s not in
the garage.” She questions.
“It’s with Sli. I can take you home if you don’t mind
waiting. I’m not sure when she’ll be here though.” I say
handing her the money.
“No I’ll be fine. But thanks for the offer and the money.”
She disappears the spare room she uses.
Quinn walks her to the gate so she can come back with
the gate remote.
She runs back in the house with Kuchi, oh they here
already. Kuchi runs to me to give me a hug.
“Kuchie-muchie!” I say hugging her back. I’ve always
found Kuchi’s name funny. When I asked Sli what it
means she just shrugged and said “I don’t know, it’s the
first thing that came to mind when I was asked to name
her.” Lol.
“You know I was going to bring your car, you didn’t have
to leave trillion missed calls on my phone. By the way I
just saw your sister getting in some car.” She says
walking in with Kuchi’s bag on her hand and my car keys
on the other hand. No greeting. The kids have
disappeared.

“What exactly happened last night?” I get straight to the

point while grabbing a bottle of wine from the fridge and
two wine glasses from the cupboard. We’ll get to the car
she saw Babalwa getting into later.
“Hehe you definitely need a glass of wine for this one.
Bitch you were turnt!” She says as we make our way to
the lounge. Why is she elated all of a sudden?
“Skat I don’t remember a thing! Why did you allow me to
drink like that?” I shove her playfully.
“You were having fun skat. I couldn’t ruin it for you. And
you should be thanking me cause I even sacrificed myself
not to drink too much cause you know one of us had to
drive.” She rolls her eyes and takes a sip from her wine.
“Having fun with a man I don’t know? Who the hell is
Jason Lekoane?”
“Oh wow you even remember his surname? I honestly
forgot his name. What time is your date?” she checks her
wrist watch.
“What date? I told you I don’t remember anything. The
guy messaged me on Facebook telling me about how fun
last night was and how he’s looking forward to seeing me
tonight. Did I sleep with him?” I ask anxiously.
“Chill. You’re still a virgin. But that could’ve changed last
night. Again, all thanks to me!”
She calls me a virgin because I haven’t had sex in six
years but that’s another story for another day.
“What do you mean it could’ve changed last night?”
She’s really stressing me now.
“Skat you were all over the poor guy the whole night and
you wanted to leave with him. I literally had to drag you
to your car. And this is the funny part, you made him
promise to call you yet you refused to give him your
numbers.” She says laughing. Again, I push her playfully.
“It’s not funny! Omg that’s so embarrassing. Damnit! I
should apologize to the poor guy.” I grab my phone on
the coffee table and I log on Facebook.
Oh he replied to my last message. He says “I’m guessing
you don't remember anything about last night?” Oh man
this guy probably thinks I’m some cheap whore.

“Listen Jason, I’m really sorry for what happened last

night. I don’t know what got into me. Whatever I said to
you, it was just the booze talking really. I’m sorry.” I click
send.

“What are you doing?" Sli asks giving me a zany look.

“Apologizing.” I say simply. She shrugs.

“I’ll only accept your apology if you allow me to take you

out for dinner tonight.” That reply was too quick, it’s like
he already knew what I was going to say.
“Ahh for fuck’s sake!” I utter out loud unintentionally.
“What?”
“Can you believe this thirsty guy? He says he’ll only
accept my apology if I allow him to take me out for
dinner.” I roll my eyes.
“Hey you’re the one that suggested a date last night, why
you acting up now?”
I see she thinks this is a joke. Mxm.
“I’m not accepting this date. I don’t even know this guy.
For all we know, he could be a serial killer or some
psychopath. What if he kidnaps me?” I can’t risk my life
just for him to accept my apology. He can go to hell for
all I care.
“Clearly you felt differently about him last night *she
rolls her eyes* but I think you should go on this date.
Seriously skat you need to get back on the horse, it’s way
overdue. You need a dick to relax you. You’re a bit
bromidic if I’m being honest. All you worry about is work
and Quinn which isn’t a bad thing but a girl needs to have
fun!” she’s so blunt.
“I’m doing just fine on my own. I don’t need a man to
perplex my life.” I say looking away. I’m a bit hurt by
what she just said, she’s basically saying I’m
uninteresting.
“I’m not saying you should be in a serious relationship
but a little distraction won’t hurt.” She suggests. I’m not
sure.
“Okay, let’s stalk this guy’s Facebook account to see if
there’s anything off about him.” She says already
grabbing my phone from my hand and she starts
scrolling. I wait biting my bottom lip.
“He looks decent to me.” She says finally.
I take the phone and I look too. I actually think he looks
good but I won’t mention it. And I don’t see anything
shady on his account.
“Fine. I’ll go on the stupid date or dinner or whatever.” I
say waving my hand dismissively.
“Really?”
I don’t know why she seems ecstatically happy about
this.

“Okay Jason if that’s what it takes then I’ll do this dinner

with you. Meet me at Jay’z grill at 8pm.” I send. I’m
purposefully picking a regular restaurant so he can see I
don’t really care about this date.

“Thank you. I can’t wait to see you Miss Nzimande.” A

quick reply again. I won’t respond.

“And?” Sli asks. She’s on her feet now.

“Jay’z Grill at 8.” I say aloofly.
She darts to my bedroom.
“Where are you going?” I call after her.
“To pick out your outfit!" she yells back.
“Honestly, I don’t feel like dressing up. This isn’t a proper
date anyway. I’m just showing contrition.” I say walking
in my bedroom. She’s already going through my closet.
“Yeah, whatever! But you won’t go looking like that.” She
states still searching my closet.
“Yeah I will actually. I’m not changing.”
She turns to look at me like I’ve completely lost my mind.
Then she looks down at my shoes.
“No man I’ll change the uggs and I’ll wear my white
blazer but that’s it.” I don’t want this guy to think I’ve put
any effort into this. I won’t even shower.
“Fair enough.” She shrugs.
---
Its 7.30 pm and I’m already dressed. White shirt and a
white blazer with blue jeans and nude stilettos. I didn’t
even do my make-up. I just fixed my eyebrows and
applied red matte lipstick. I let my long Peruvian weave
down.

When I look in the mirror I realise I actually look good.

Better than how I wanted to look. I’m not a big woman
but I’m also not that thin. I’m a size 32 on bottoms and a
small on tops.

I walk out to Quinn’s bedroom first.

“Hi babies.”
“Do you want to join our tea party?” Kuchi offers. They
have a small table set out with tea-sets and teddy bears
sitting around the table.
“Yeah mommy you can sit right here.” Quinn says
removing Bella (one of her teddy bears) from the chair.
“Sorry Bella.” Kuchi says to the poor teddy bear.
“Why don’t you let Bella enjoy this party and you can
invite me next time okay? Cause she’ll be sad if you leave
her out.” I suggest.
“Okay. Come on Bella.” Quinn says putting the teddy
back on the chair.
I kiss them both before walking out.

“Skat please order in some food for the kids. Hopefully I

won’t be gone for too long.” I just want to get this over
and done with.
“Well you look good and please be nice to the poor guy,
no stanky faces!” she instructs. Well it’s more like a
warning. My face needs some serious deliverance. It tells
you exactly how I feel without me uttering a single word.

I grab my car keys and my handbag and I walk out of the

house. I suddenly feel enxious. (I generally have an
enxiety disorder)
I start biting the back of my left hand while driving with
the other one. Come on Bulelwa relax! You’re just going
there to apologize. Surely it can’t be that hard?

The drive to Jay’z Grill seems shorter than usual. I can

hear my heart beating very fast and my hands start to get
sweaty. Like what the fuck is wrong with me?

The last date I went on which Sli set me up on was such a

yawn fest. The guy kept calling me by my full name the
whole time. ‘Bulelwa Nzimande you look beautiful.
Bulelwa Nzimande would you like some water? Bulelwa
Nzimande you’re amazing.’ It was totally bizarre.

When I park, I take a few deep breaths before getting off

the car. I can't embarrass myself again to this guy.
*
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Chapter 3? Can I at least get 50 page likes? 😩😂
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Chapter Three

There aren’t that many people in here but I still have to

scan the tables to find the man I’m looking for. He waves
his hand when he sees me. He’s sitting at the far corner.
I compose myself before making my way to him.

“Look who’s here! I thought you had stood me up.” He

says getting up to open my chair for me, okay.
He has a deep voice which gives me goosebumps. He
looks even better in person. He’s tall, masculine, has a
perfectly trimmed beard with perfectly aligned super
white teeth and he’s just one shade darker than me. (I
have caramel skin by the way.) He’s sexy. I must have
been utterly wasted last night cause I’m so mesmerized
by his looks it’s like my first time seeing him.

“Are you okay?” he has a concerned look on his face.

I realise I’m just standing there staring with my jaw on
the floor when I should have taken my seat minutes ago.
Get a grip Bulelwa.
“Uh..yeah I’m fine, sorry.” I take my seat. Can the ground
open and just swallow me?
“It’s good to see you again, you look great.” He says. I
can smell his expensive cologne from where I’m sitting.
Now I kind of regret not taking a shower.
“Thank you.” I manage to say and I drop my eyes.

A waiter comes over to take our drink orders. I order

sparkling water with passion fruit and he just orders plain
water, and tells the waiter to come back later for our
meal orders.
“I can see you’re not very comfortable. We don’t have to
talk about what happened last night. It’s water under the
bridge really.” He says.
“I don’t quite remember what exactly happened but I still
feel awful.” I say deplorably.
“Hey don’t beat yourself up. We were both having fun.
And honestly, I wouldn’t mind a repeat of everything we
did. You sure know how to keep a man entertained.” He
smirks. What is he talking about?
“What do you mean?” I ask looking at him.
“You seriously don’t remember anything?” he’s still
smirking.
“No I don’t so please start talking.” I’m getting annoyed.
“Okay where do I start? There’s just so much we did.
Inside the club, in the parking lot, in the restrooms…”
why is he fucking smiling?
“In the restrooms? So is that what you do huh? You go to
clubs to take advantage of women? You sick bastard!
And you have the audacity to invite me on this fucking
date!” I’m fuming.
“Whoa! Relax. Nothing happened between us. I’m just
pulling your leg.” He says raising his hands. I breathe a
sigh of relief.
“Although you wanted my lips so bad, I know they sexy
but I didn’t want our first kiss to be when you don’t even
know your own name.” A smile reaches my lips before I
can even stop it. He’s damn right, his lips are sexy but
who the hell said I’ll ever kiss him?
“Who said your lips are sexy?” I ask still smiling. I can’t
control it.
“Well besides the fact that you actually told me, you
were drooling over them too. So I take it you find them
sexy.” He bites his bottom lip. And then the butterflies?
Weak knees? What the hell?

“I was drunk Jason. And when I’m drunk I say things that
aren’t true.” I clarify rolling my eyes trying not to show
what he just did, did something to my body.

“I’m assuming everything you told me about yourself

isn’t true then?”

The waiter comes back for our orders. I order a chicken

salad, I don’t really have an appetite and he doesn’t
order anything. He just says he’s going to share with me.
Okay. He probably doesn’t have enough money to feed
the both of us - I think to myself.
“So what did I tell you about myself?” I ask. I’m actually
surprised the conversation is flowing. Every time we have
an eye-lock moment something happens within my body.
“Oh I know everything. I know you’re 23. I know where
you work. I know where you stay. I know about your
daughter, she’s very cute by the way. You gave her good
genes.”
How the hell does he know my daughter?
“How do you know she’s cute? You’ve never seen her.” I
question raising my eyebrows.
“If mommy looks this gorgeous then I’m presuming she’s
very cute. And you so happen to have her pictures on
your Facebook account.”
Oh Facebook! I’m so dumb.
“Stalker alert!” I’m a hypocrite I know.
“And I plead guilty. Who wouldn’t stalk a woman they're
in love with?” Huh? He’s in love with me? Okay and then
what? What should I say now?
“Jason you’ve only known me for barely two days. You
can’t be in love with me.” I try to keep my voice as
neutral as possible.
“Well I am.” He says simply. We lock eyes again but I
immediately drop them. If I were a yellow bone, I swear
my face would have turned blood red by now, my cheeks
are burning.
“Since you know so much about me, how about you tell
me about yourself.” I change the subject.
“What do you want to know?” he’s so calm like he didn’t
just drop a bombshell on me.
“Everything.” I state. He gives me a smile.
“Okay. I’m Jason Lisebo Lekoane, obviously I’m not Zulu.
I’m from Jo’burg. But I’ve been staying here for a whole
year now. I’m self-employed. What else do you want to
know?” he asks. I have a lot of questions actually.
“Do you have any kids?” the words run out of my mouth
against my will. Really Bulelwa? I could have asked his
age or why he moved from Jo’burg to here. He smiles
before answering.
“I don’t have any kids YET.” He emphasizes on the word
‘yet’, okay.
“Does your girlfriend know you’re planning on knocking
her up?” that’s my way of finding out if he’s attached or
not. Not that it matters anyway, I’m just curious. No
really guys I'm just curious, don't give me that look.
“Well now you know.” he replies. What?
“I am not your girlfriend.”
“You will be sooner or later.” Again, he smirks. Is that his
way of asking me out? I don’t know what to say.
“Why did you move from Jo’burg to PMB?” I’m trying to
avoid this crazy girlfriend talk.
“God sent me here to find you.”
He won’t give up, will he?
“I’m serious Jase.”
“Oh I went from Jason to Jase? We’re definitely getting
somewhere.” He has a stupid grin on his face. I can’t help
smiling too.
We continue talking about a lot of things like we didn't
just meet last night. The way I'm so comfortable with him
amazes me.
"You have such a beautiful smile. Can I take a picture of
you?” He says. Okay that’s my cue. I check my wrist
watch. It’s almost 10 pm.
“I should probably get going, it’s getting late and I have
to put my kids in bed.” He looks confused.
“Kids?” he asks widening his eyes.
“Yes. My daughter and my god-daughter. She’s at my
place.” I wonder what would have been his reaction if I
did actually have ‘kids’.

He calls the waiter to settle the bill. R300 tip? He’s

probably trying to impress me. Shame if only he knew I’m
not the type to be taken by a guy’s bank balance. The
waiter looks like he just received a one-way ticket to
heaven.

“I really had a great time thank you. And hopefully my

sins are forgiven now.” I give him a tender smile while
getting up. He gets up too.
“No. Thank YOU. You’re sins will be forgiven when you
agree to be my woman. I’ll walk you to your car.”
Oh so it’s “when” you agree to be my woman, not “if”
you agree to be my woman? Arrogant much?

We walk out of the restaurant to the parking lot.

“So you’re still refusing to give me your contact
number?” he asks smiling. I’ve concluded he’s a smiler,
like he knows he has a gorgeous smile which makes
women (me) weak. I look at him tilting my head to the
side as if I’m thinking about it.
“Give me your phone.” I order.
“It’s in the car. Let me get it quickly.” He takes out his car
keys in his pocket and he unlocks the black BMW x6
parked next to me.
BMW x6? Okay. Not bad. He gives me his phone and I
type in my number and I save it as “do not call” before
handing it back to him.
“Aren’t you going to take mine?” he’s smiling again.
“Bye Jason.” I say as I get in my car and I drive away
leaving him standing there.
As I’m driving I have this huge smug stuck on my face. I’m
feeling foreign feelings, I don't know what the fuck is
happening but I love this feeling.

I’ve never been in love. The only boyfriend I’ve ever had
is the father of my baby. And he was just my boyfie cause
everyone at school had a boyfriend/girlfriend. I liked him
cause he was cute and funny which I thought was love
back then, but I only realized now that I’m old that it
wasn’t love. We had sex but it meant nothing, it was just
sex. And I swear we only did it literally twice but Quinn
managed to somehow pop up. He was the first and only
person that has entered between my legs. I’m not even
sure if he deserves the “father” title because he has
never even met his daughter. He’s more like an
accidental sperm donor.
The day I told him I could not kill my baby was the last
day I saw him and his family. To be honest, I was glad
they disappeared because I wanted nothing to do with
them. I had made the decision that they (him and his
family) will not be a part of her life. They didn’t want her
anyway so I was sparing them the trouble.
That boy eradicated me. He made me believe that all
guys were assholes like him, hence I haven’t dated
anyone ever since.
I raised Quinn on my own while I was still a baby myself.
It was not easy. I remember studying for my matric
exams with her on my lap. Sometimes I had to wait for
her to fall asleep first so I could study and she would stay
up until midnight.
It was hard but I also worked hard. When I passed my
matric my mother offered to look after her so I could go
and study in Durban but I couldn’t leave my baby, I was
so in love with her so I opted for UKZN, PMB Campus. I
obtained my BA in Journalism & Media studies after four
years of blood, sweat and sleepless nights.
I wipe my tears as I try to tranquilize myself before
getting off the car. My past still haunts me even today. I
know for sure it made me stronger. I’ve grown. I’m a
better person. But most of all, I’m the best mom I can be.
But I can’t seem to let go of the regrets. The guilt. Self-
shame. Self-hate. And constantly thinking no one will
ever love a woman who had a baby at such an early age.
“I’m back!” I try to sound cheerful as I walk in the house.
“Ssh..the kids are sleeping. How did it go? I want all the
details.” Sli whispers. “No wait, are you okay?” I think she
notices I’ve been crying.
“Yes I’m fine. And it was okay.” I say taking off my shoes.
“Just okay? And if you’re fine why the hell have you been
crying? Did he-” I cut her off.
“No. It’s not about him. I’m fine really. I just need a hot
shower and my bed.” I assure her. “You’ll stay over
right?” I ask.
“No. I’ve already called someone to take me home.”

After she leaves I go straight to my bedroom and I take a

long soothing shower.
I climb on my bed feeling…I don’t know how to explain
this feeling, it's like a sea of mixed emotions. And why is
that guy, what his name again? Jason? Yes why is he
stuck on my mind? (As if I really forgot his name).

I hear my phone beeping. I reach for it and there’s a text

from an unsaved number. I open the massage and it
reads ‘I hope you arrived home safely MaNzimande I
miss you already.’ Oh I know who it is. I miss him too,
wait what? No I don’t miss him. This guy is a stranger to
me, now we can’t be missing strangers, can we?

“You can’t be missing me. You don’t know me, I don’t

know you. But you seem like an interesting guy…not that
I’m interested in you, I mean.. I am interested in you, but
as a friend of course..” what the fuck am I typing? I
delete the whole thing.
“I arrived safely thank you Jason.” I type again, no I erase
Jason and I replace it with Lisebo before sending. I’m
biting my bottom lip as I’m anxiously waiting for his
reply.

“Lisebo? Impressive. I love you Bulelwa.” He replies. This

guy. Now he loves me? I don’t know what to say when a
guy tells me this. Do I say thank you? Or do I just say I
love you too? Pssh please, I don’t love him…I think. Fuck
this is just crazy. I can't fall in love, that is like willingly
enrolling for heartbreak and I don't think I'm strong
enough to handle that. This man better leave me alone
ke yazi.
I send two laughing emojis, I think that’s the most
sensible way to reply.

“Why are you laughing? Don’t you love me?”

I am not responding to that, instead I save his number on
my contact list as Lisebo and I put my phone under the
pillow.
Can someone explain to me how can a man I only met
yesterday make me so happy? How is that even possible?
No one has ever made me feel this way so I don’t really
know what to do or how to respond to it. I close my eyes
as I try not to think about him which I fail, he’s residing in
my mind right now. I’m even imagining the future with
him, absurd I know. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow
all this madness will be gone cause clearly something is
wrong with me right now. Maybe the alcohol I consumed
last night is still in my system.

I’m woken up by the sound of my phone ringing. I reach

for it under the pillow. Jason? I fix myself pushing my hair
back and I try to sit up – as if he can see me.
“Hello?” Damn I should’ve cleared my throat first.
“Good morning MaNzimande. Are you still sleeping?”
I melt just hearing his voice. Okay but why does he sound
so full of beans this early?
“Yes Jason. All normal people are still sleeping.” I say.
“Oh I’m sorry if I woke you up. Can I just ask, why did you
save your number as do not call?”
I can sense he’s smiling or smirking.
“Cause I didn’t want you to call me.”
He laughs. Is it funny?
“So why did you pick up?” He asks.
“To tell you not to call me cause clearly you didn’t get the
instruction.”
He laughs again.
“If you didn’t want to talk to me baby you would have
hanged up by now.”
True. Wait, he called me “baby”? Okay.

“What are your plans for today?” he asks.

“I’ll be going to church and I’ll check up on my mother
after church. Why are you asking?”
“I thought maybe we could go out for lunch or
something.” he suggests.
Honestly, I wish I could ditch church and grab this
opportunity to spend time with him but I feel like God
would punish me with bad relationships for the rest of
my life. Oh wow I’m thinking about relationships now?
Okay.
“Oh sorry maybe next time.” Damnit!
“It’s fine, we’ll talk later ke. Enjoy your day.” He has that
sexy Jozi accent. I’m blushing.
“You too.” I say and I drop the call before I lose the little
control I have left. I’m already in a great mood.

It’s 7 am so I decide to just wake up and prepare for the

morning service which starts at 8.30 am.
I get up and I make my bed. After a quick shower I put on
a robe and I go to Quinn’s bedroom to wake them up. I
let them bath together while I prepare breakfast in the
kitchen which is cereal cause it’s quicker.
I can hear them singing from the bathroom. They keep
repeating the line ‘he give it to me everyday everyday
everyday’ Like what the hell? But then these kids
probably don’t even know what they singing about, it’s
just another catchy song to them so I let them be.
I have to get them out of the bath though cause I know
they can stay there the whole day.

After getting them dressed, I head to my room to get

dressed. I wore my tight olive green long sleeved dress
that goes just above my knees with a slit at the back. I
put on a little bit of make-up and I tied my weave back.
Lastly I wore my black stilettos.
I grab my handbag and my black coat just in case it gets
cold.

On the drive to church I’m subjected to another episode

of the girls’ singing. This time they’re singing about
snowmans. Well at least it’s an appropriate song now.
*
*
*
*
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Chapter 4 loading...
Thank you again for reading, I know I'm slow with the
posts 😟 I'll try to do better I promise. Likes, comments
and shares would be highly appreciatedd 💛
Chapter Four

The one thing I love about our church is that it’s not one
of those churches that take forever. It’s just two hours
and we’re done. I feel like the pastor prepared today’s
sermon especially for me. He opened the book of
Philippians chapter 3, versus 13-14. Which talks about
putting your past behind and moving forward to achieve
the great things God has planned for you. The whole
service I was sitting there thinking could Jason be one of
the great things God has planned for me? I mean as a
friend of course.
After church I drive to my mom’s place in Glenwood,
stopping at Northway Mall on the way to pick up a few
groceries for her cause you never enter that house
empty handed. I also got the kids some snacks.
“Bulelwa don’t tell me you went to church looking like
that.” That’s the first thing she says to me after greeting
the kids.
“Hha Mama. What’s wrong with this dress? It’s not even
short.” I say looking confused.
“It’s too tight. What do you think Benjamin will think of
you if you’re wearing stuff like that?” like I care what
Benjamin thinks of me!
“Mah please I don’t want to hear about Benjamin. Not
today.” I roll my eyes.

Benjamin is an Evangelist from church. Apparently he

wants my hand in marriage. My mom is obsessed with
him cause he’s one of those sanctimonious guys who
don’t drink and he’s forever talking the bible. Him and I
are like ice-cream and toilet paper (I’m sure you’ve never
heard of such, well that’s cause I just made it up.) But
anyway I’m the ice-cream of course.
“When will you stop with this puerile behaviour my
child? Here’s a good man showing interest in you but
you’re busy playing games. Do you want to grow old
alone just like me?” she says but she knows very well I
don’t even like talking about that man.
“You know what mom? Since he’s such a great guy why
don’t you marry him?”
She looks shocked and a little hurt by what I just said. I
hate being disrespectful to my mom but she pushes me
every fucking time.
“Where’s Babalwa?” I try to change the subject.
“You know your sister. She’s always locked up in that
room DOING GOD KNOWS WHAT!” she shouts on the
last part of her statement with the intention for Babalwa
to hear her.
“She’s probably studying.” I say. I’m hundred percent
sure that’s not the case though.
My phone rings. I take it out of my coat pocket, it’s Jason.
I look at the screen still ringing and I look at my mom.
She has her eyes fixed on me. Eish.
“Hey.” I answer the call.
“Miss Nzimande I miss you.” He says with that sexy voice.
I look at mom, she still has her eyes on me.
“Uhm..can I call you back later? I’m with my mother right
now.”
“No problem. Send my regards to Mah.”
Is he crazy?
“Okay bye.” I drop the call immediately.
“Who was that?” my mother wastes no time.
“No one. Just a friend.” I try to sound convincing.
“Who’s that friend you can’t speak to in my presence?”
“Uh..it’s..it’s not really a friend. It’s a colleague.”
“Hmm.” She says getting up from the couch. “Come help
me make tea. I made some scones this morning.”
I follow behind her to the kitchen. My sister walks in
wearing what looks like my tshirt.
“Babalwa is that my t-shirt you’re wearing?” first she
sees me as an ATM and now she’s raiding my wardrobe?
“Hello to you too B. Had you told me you were coming
over I would have worn something else.”
Rude.
“Mama you see? I will murder your daughter.” I warn.
“Go ahead my child. You’d be helping the both of us.”
We all start laughing. My sister is just exhausting.
We enjoy our tea over talking and laughing like the good
old days. The kids are in the living room watching t.v.
Even though I love spending time with my family, I can’t
wait to leave so I can call that man who’s stuck on my
mind. I check the time on my watch.
“I should probably get going.” I jump off the high chair.
“Hehake what’s the rush?”- Mom.
“I need to rest Mama. I’ve been feeling funny lately. I
think I’m coming down with flu I’m not sure.” I lie again.
“And you know I don’t like driving at night.” I add.
Babalwa looks at me like she’s studying my face. What’s
her problem? And then she goes, “You know my friends
are always complimenting your looks and sadly, I have to
agree with them.” Haha she thinks she’s clever hmm?
“What do you want Babalwa?”
“Geez. Can’t I give my sister a compliment? A simple
thank you would have been nice.” She rolls her eyes.
“You only give me compliments when you want
something so spit it out.”
“I need a new phone.” She says simply.
“What’s wrong with your phone?”
“Nothing but I need an upgrade.” Hhe what kind of
madness is that?
“Babalwa I’m not buying you a new phone, there’s
nothing wrong with your phone.”
She can’t be making crazy demands like that. I’m not a
millionaire. And she knows most of my salary goes
towards Quinn’s school fees. Epworth Preparatory is
ridiculously expensive but it’s just as ridiculously
exceptional.
“Well don’t talk when I find myself a sugar daddy who
will do everything for me without complaining.” She says
walking away to her bedroom. I stare at mom in
incredulity remembering Sli told me she saw her getting
in some car.
“Don’t worry. That’s her way of trying to get whatever
she wants. She’ll never do that.” mom says calmly.
I call the kids to say bye to mom and we leave.
My phone rings just as we enter the house. It's Jason.
Great timing, I was just about to call him.
“Hey..”
“Hello.. It’s me..” he sings. I’m laughing so hard.
“Omg don’t ever do that again!” I’m still laughing.
“What? Don’t you love my voice?” he’s laughing too.
“No I don’t.”
“Ouch. My heart hurts.”
“Sorry.”
“Well you can make it better by agreeing to dinner with
me tonight. I really miss you.” He says.
“I can’t Jason.” I have to turn him down again.
“Why not?” he sounds disappointed.
“Cause…who will look after my daughter?”
“You can come with her.”
Okay he’s definitely crazy.
“Why don’t you come over at my house I’ll cook.” I’m
equally insane I know.
“You sure?”
“No I’m not.” I say sarcastically.
“What time should I come?” he sounds agitated.
“Uh.. round 7?” I suggest.
“Alright. Your address?” Didn’t he say he knows
everything about me?
“Duikers Rest, Lincoln Meade. Call me when you’re at the
gate."
“Cool. Can’t wait to see you.” He says.
“Sure.” I say hanging up. What have I just done? Sigh.
Now I have to worry about what to cook for him. I’m not
even a fan of cooking. I have an idea, Sli to the rescue!
I dial her number. It rings once.
“Bitch.”
“Skat are you busy?”
“No I was just about to come pick Kuchi up, what’s up?”
“Oh on your way here can you get me a beef lasagne at
Woolworths, the one I usually buy but a larger one
please.”
“Why a larger one? Do you have visitors?”
Can’t she do this without asking any questions?
“No. I’ll tell you when you get here. Thank you.” I hang
up before she asks another question.

While waiting for Sli I make some salads and I grill meat.
I’ll take a shower later. I’m still not sure why the hell am I
doing this. Inviting a man I barely know to my house? Am
I even ready for him to meet my daughter? This is so not
like me. But it’s just for dinner, what is it going to hurt?

It’s 5 pm so I tidy up the house just to pass time. My

phone rings in the kitchen. I quickly make my way to
answer it. Oh it’s Sli. I guess she’s at the gate.
“I’m coming.” I say and I hang up and I send the kids to
open for her.
“I see you went all out, what’s the occasion?” she asks
looking at all the salads I made.
“Jason is coming over.” I say simply.
“What? I thought you hated him. Didn’t he make you cry
yesterday? Are you guys dating now? Have you slept with
him?” Yeah that’s my friend. She likes jumping into
conclusions, like how would I have slept with him when
we just went on a date yesterday?
“No, no and no. I told you the crying was not about him.”
“So you’re inviting him over just nje?”
“No. He wanted to take me out for dinner but I can’t so I
invited him over instead.” I clarify.
“Hmm. I see.” She says looking at me in a very
judgmental way.
“What? Don’t give me that look. You’re the one who
pursued me to go on that date in the first place.” I
defend myself.
“Yes. I said you should have fun not fall in love.”
“What? I am not in love! That’s crazy.” Where does she
get that from?
“Look at you. It’s written all over your face.” She shakes
her head.
“I don’t know what you talking about.” I can’t be in love
with him, it’s too soon.
“Okay.. *she shrugs* I have to warn you though, love is a
fatal game, it’s not for softies like you with fragile
hearts.”
I know she’s about to give me a lecture that I don’t need
cause I know I’m not in love and I don't have time for
that right now. I check my watch.
“I have to take a shower he’ll be here in about 45
minutes.” I’m starting to get nervous. I’m still not sure if
this is the right thing to do.
“Oh okay. I’ll see my way out.” She says going to Quinn’s
room to get Kuchi.
“Kuchi come give me some kisses.” I say crouching down
so I can give her a hug.
---
I give my child a bath first. She’s a blabber mouth; I hope
she doesn’t ask too many questions about the man who
randomly decided to visit us. I put her in her pajamas and
I head to my room to shower. I just put on grey nike
sweatpants, and a white t-shirt. I don’t want to look or
feel sexy, it might give the guy wrong ideas.

It’s 6.50 pm so I warm up the food. I’m really anxious

now. This is the first time I’m inviting a man in my house.
Would it make me a horrible person if I called him now to
cancel? My phone rings. Oh no, it’s him. I take a deep
breath.
“I’m coming.” I say and hang up.
“Baby can you stay here I’m quickly going to fetch
someone at the gate.” I say to Quinn grabbing the gate
remote.
“Who is it?”
“You will see just now.” I walk out.

When I get to the gate I expect to see a black BMW x6

but instead I see a black Audi Q7. Huh? What if this man
sent someone to kidnap me? I just stand there without
opening the gate. I see the driver door open. A male
figure steps out, the dark allowing him a moment of
anonymity. My heart starts palpitating.
“Are you going to let me in or do I have to jump the
fence?” I know that voice. It’s him. I breathe a sigh of
relief as I press the remote.
He drives in and parks on my driveway. How did he know
which house is mine? Creepy.
We walk inside the house. He brought a bottle of wine -
that can’t be good. Quinn comes running
“Who’s this mommy?” She asks with her eyebrows
wrinkled.
“It’s my friend. Say hi.”
“Hello.” Quinn says smiling. Seems like she likes him.
“Hey you must be Queen.” He greets. He’s smiling too.
“It’s Quinn.” She corrects. She’s very feisty when it
comes to her name.
“How about I just call you Q? You cool with that?” He’s
not the first person to struggle with my daughter’s name.
“Okay. What’s your name?”
“Oh my name is Jason but you can just call me Jay.” He
winks. Is he flirting with my child?
“Jay? That’s a funny name.” she mocks.
“Quinn.” I give her the reprimanding look.
They carry on talking and laughing while I set the table in
the dining room. I can tell he’s good with kids.
I’m done in no time so I call them over. We join our
hands to say grace; I swear I felt something running
through my body as he took my hand. I can’t even think
straight now so I ask Quinn to say grace before digging in.
He keeps stealing glances at me but he’s talking to Quinn.
Their conversation is only two sided; it’s like I’m not even
here. Like really guys?
“Nana go and brush your teeth I’ll come and read you a
story just now okay?” that’s my way of trying to get rid of
her. I know world war III is about to start.
“Uh-uh mommy it’s still early!” she protests.
“No it’s not early, it’s way past your curfew. Say
goodnight to Jay.” she has to go.
“But mommy I’m still talking to Jay! Jay please tell her it’s
still early.” She pleads. He better not make this any
harder for me. I look at him.
“How about I visit you tomorrow and you can tell me
everything about your school.”
Good boy.
“Fine! Mommy don’t come to my room I don’t want you
to read to me.” She instructs storming off to the
bathroom to brush her teeth.
“I love you goodnight, don’t forget your evening
prayers!” I shout after her.
“Yeah I love me too!” she yells back. She’s a little diva
lomntana. I look at Jason and we both start laughing.

He helps me clear the table and he asks to use the

restroom. I show him as I make my way to the kitchen to
wash the dishes.

I can feel him standing behind me but I don’t turn

around, I just carry on with what I’m doing. He comes
closer and closer until his whole body is pressed on mine.
He’s so tall! And he smells divine. He puts his hands on
my waist. Butterflies erupt at the pit of my tummy and I
get tingles all over my body. Now I’ve stopped washing
the dishes but I haven’t turned nor said a thing. He’s also
quiet. I can feel my body igniting and my heart starts
picking up its pace. We stand like that for a few minutes
in silence. I was expecting him to turn me around and
kiss me but he breaks the moment to help dry the dishes.
What a gentleman.
“The food was amazing. You’re a great cook.”
I am not about to tell him I didn’t cook.
“Thank you.”

We settle on the couch to watch one of my favorite

series The Walking Dead with the expensive wine
brought. We’re sitting on the same couch but there’s a
small gap between us. He asks what is this series about
and I explain it to him. I also ask what are his favourite
shows and I don’t know how we went from talking about
tv shows to discussing politics. We talk like we’ve been
friends since forever. You can tell he’s very smart and
informed just by the way he talks.

One of the zombies just chopped someone’s head off

which caught my attention causing me to scream. We
weren't really focusing on the tv anymore.
“Why do you watch this show if it makes you scream like
that?” He asks.
“I love things that keep me on the edge of my seat.” I
answer honestly. He scoots closer and he rests his hand
on my thigh. I get the same feeling I got earlier when he
touched me.
“How can I keep you on the edge of your seat so you can
love me too?” he whispers leaning his upper body over
mine.
His lips are almost touching my ear. My breathing gets
uneven. He puts his hand on my cheek and he brings my
face closer to meet his. We stare into each others eyes
but I shut them when his face gets too close. Our lips
collide. I allow him. I open my mouth slightly to invite his
tongue in when it requests entry. He starts kissing me
slowly and passionately, damn he’s such a good kisser,
I’m just following his flow. I feel the sparks, you know the
fireworks they always talk about in those cheesy
romantic novels? I finally know the feeling and it’s
amazing. This moment is just magical.

The kiss becomes deeper and demanding. We’re both

breathing heavily now. He moves his hand from my face
and he puts it under my tshirt touching my skin, my
whole body shivers. Now his whole upper body is on top
of mine. He moves down to kiss my neck. I can feel my
cookie getting excited, okay that’s my cue!
“Stop please.” I say defeated.
“Why?” he’s still kissing my neck.
“Jase please.” I can barely recognize my voice. He stops
and looks straight into my eyes.
“I want you to respect me and my body.” I say still
looking in his eyes.
“I love you Bulelwa.” His eyes are a bit reddish. I can still
feel the warmth and wetness of his tongue lingering on
my lips and I just want to grab him and kiss him more.
“Maybe you should leave.” I have to get him out of here
before things get out of hand.
*
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*
*
Chapter 5 is being edited so I'll probably post it
tomorrow. See? I'm keeping my promise 😊
Anyway...thank you for reading 💛
Chapter Five

It’s been two months since that night at my house which

marked the beginning of our relationship. I finally told
him I love him too, I really do. I have fallen so deep in
love with him, it scares me sometimes but and the same
time it feels so good, like it just feels right. He makes me
feel things I’ve never felt before, he makes me happy.
And not to sound cocky but he seems to genuinely love
me just as much, if not more.

Today is Friday and I’m going to spend the weekend at

his place for the first time. He stays in Hilton. We’ve been
on more dates and we’ve been seeing each other almost
everyday. (He has a tendency of just rocking up at my
work place without announcement or invitation.) We’ve
been meeting in public spaces mostly because I know I
can’t trust myself around him alone. The chemistry
between us is beyond measure.

I now know he’s 31. Yes 8 years older than me. I also
know he has his own businesses in Jo’burg and here in
PMB. He told me he was a lawyer but he stopped
practicing three years ago. He now owns three law firms
and two hotels in Jo’burg, and here he has one law firm
and two gym facilities, money is not a problem.
I’ve also learnt about his family. He has three younger
sisters (ages 17, 23 and 28). He’s the oldest and only boy.
The two youngest sisters stay in Jo’burg and the other
one is in London.

My mother will be fetching Quinn from school today and

she will stay with her for the weekend. I had to lie and
say I’m going away for work. Imagine asking my mom to
look after my baby because I’m going to spend the
weekend at my boyfriend’s place, that would be like
digging my own grave and signing my own death
certificate. I haven’t introduced him to my mom and
sister yet, that’s the only close family I have. My dad died
when I was 9 years old. But he’s met my friend Sli
obviously, and surprisingly she approves of him.

He’s already here to fetch me from work. Oh he’s driving

the BMW today. He also told me that Q7 was his and
sometimes he drives a black Mercedes G-Wagon, it’s also
his.
“You may enter Ma’am.” He opens the passenger door
for me.
“Thank you Sir.” I jump in the car. All 3 of his cars smell of
expensive leather. He gets in the driver side and kisses
me on the lips before starting the car.
“Do you want to start somewhere or we’re driving
straight home?”
“Firstly do you have food in your house cause I’m
starving.” I only ate cereal in the morning.
“I don’t have food that goes in your mouth but I have the
other food.” He smirks. I punch him playfully on the arm.
He’s stupid.
“I’m kidding. I think I have food in the fridge.” He says
sarcastically.
“Well then let’s go.”

He rests his hand on my thigh. I look at him. He smiles, I

smile too.

We’re listening to Eastcoast radio. Justin Bieber, Dj

Khaled and Chance the rapper’s song The One comes on.
I turn the radio volume up just a bit and I start singing
softly while dancing with my head. I steal a glance at him,
he’s looking at me with so much amusement.
“What?” I ask shrugging.
“Baby you can’t seriously tell me you listen to this Bieber
boy.” He raises his eyebrows. I laugh.
“This is one of my kid’s favourite songs. She’s obsessed
with him.”
“Six years old and she’s already obsessed with boys? We
have a problem.” He jokes.
“You have no idea! The other day I heard them singing
about getting it everyday.” I shake my head.
“Getting it as in like it it?” He asks amused.
“Yeap! It’s disturbing I know.”
He laughs.
“So which music do you listen to?” he asks.
“I listen to anything really, mostly hip-hop. And I love
Kanye West, in my head he’s my husband.”
“Your husband? I might as well just drop you off here.”
“Are you jealous babe?”
“Nah..that psycho got nothing on me.”
“Touche.” I place a kiss on his cheek.

We get to this huge house which practically looks like a

mansion, or maybe it is a mansion? I was expecting he
lives in a nice house but this is not what I had in mind.

He presses the remote and the gate opens and we drive

up the elongated driveway. I see 5 cars parked in the
yard. All black. All SUVs. I only recognize two, the Q7 and
the Mercedes. There’s a Range Rover, a Bentley
Bentayga and a Porsche Cayenne Coupe. What the heck?
“Are these all your cars?” I’m in awe.
“No they belong to the neighbours.” His level of sarcasm
is too high.
“I’m serious Jason.” I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
“Yes MyHlali these are my cars.” He calls me ‘MyHlali’
when he’s trying to..I don’t know, charm me? Anyway
here I thought he only had 3 cars. I see he has a thing for
big black cars. My white Audi A3 would literally look like
a toy next to these cars.
“Are you done fascinating over the cars? Can we go
inside now?” He takes my hand as we make our way up
the few steps that lead to the double front doors.

OMG this house looks like those houses that are always
featured on Top Billing. It’s so modern. Everything is
either glass or marble. And it’s so pristine.
“Don’t just stand there babe, make yourself comfortable.
Come on I’ll show you around.” He says taking my hand
and leading me upstairs. This guy! Can’t he let me have
my moment?

He pushes me inside what I’m assuming is his bedroom

and kicks the door shut. Didn’t he say he was going to
show me around?

Without any warning, he pushes me against the wall. I

gasp. Now I’m just sandwiched between him and the
wall.
He starts kissing me very seductively. The kiss alone
sends tingles in my cookie. I start unbuttoning his shirt, I
waited two months for this. But he takes both my wrists
in one hand and pins them above my head. Now he’s in
full control. He continues kissing me deeper and deeper.
He kisses my jawline and moves down to my neck.
He finally releases my hands and I rest them on his
shoulders. He takes my shirt off and fiddles on my
abdomen area, I think he’s trying to find the zip of my
trouser. I laugh as I take his hand and I guide it to the
side of my hip where the zip is located. He laughs too as
he unzips my pants and pulls them down. I step out of
them. Now I’m just left in my underwear and bra but he’s
still fully dressed.

He tucks his hand inside my underwear and he starts

stroking my clit with his finger. It’s all nice and shaven
down there, I came prepared. I can’t help moaning.
It feels good. I can feel his erection poking my abdomen.
I’m already wet. He takes his hand out, he picks me up
and throws me on the bed. It’s so soft it bounces. He rips
his shirt off exposing his toned stomach and muscles. I
bite my bottom lip. He smirks before crawling on top of
me.
He starts kissing me again while I unbuckle his belt and I
unzip his pants. I pull them down together with his
boxers.

I gasp and I swallow when I see his manhood. Is it normal

for it to be that big? Now I’m a bit terrified and hesitant.
What if it hurts? Or worse, what if it doesn’t fit? I know
I’ve squeezed a baby out of my opening but that was six
years ago, I’m sure it’s back intact now.
I don’t know why but I just wrap my slim fingers around
his massive hard dick holding firmly while looking up at
him. He notices how I feel.
“Relax.” He whispers peeling my fingers off his dick one
by one and he entwines our hands, palm to palm. He
pulls down my underwear and throws it and unhooks my
bra using the free hand and he throws it too. I’m not
impressed with that skill, I mean where did he learn that?

Now we’re both in our birthday suits. He looks at me like

it’s his first time seeing a naked woman.
"You're beautiful." He whispers. This is the first time he’s
seeing my full bare torso and surprisingly I don’t feel self-
conscious.
He crashes his lips against mine again, he’s a little
aggressive now but I like it. He goes down to my breasts,
he kisses and sucks them and he goes down to my
stomach, my thighs and back up again. My body isn't
mine at this moment.
“You okay?” he whispers. I nod, I can't speak.
He parts my legs, I’m already panting. As soon as he
pushes two fingers in I squirm pressing my palm against
his palm. It’s painful.
“Damn baby you so tight, you sure Q is your daughter?”
he says.
I’ve lost my ability to speak so I just look at him. I don’t
know why he reckons it's a good idea to bring up my
daughter whilst I’m lying here naked and horny.
He pulls his fingers out and he positions himself in
between my legs. He rubs the tip of his shaft up and
down my slit, I swear I’m going to lose my mind.

Finally, he inserts it slowly and gently.

“Ahh.” I moan softly, holding him tight. I feel pain, it’s
almost excruciating like the first time I had sex. He moves
in and out slowly.
“You okay?” he asks again.
Again, I just nod. That’s all I can manage to do.
He ups his pace thrusting harder and deeper making me
moan louder. He goes deeper, I swear his dick is touching
my heart. I feel something building up within my body.
“Jason…” I moan his name.
The only sound in the room is our heavy breathing
combined with my moans. I’m holding onto his arms for
dear life.
I suddenly feel an unusual sensation whooshing all over
my body like I’m being electrocuted but in a good way
making me tremble and I let out a historical scream. That
felt good. His body trembles too and he groans loudly. I
think he just released inside my body.

He lets his body loose and I feel his whole body weight
on top of me. Does this man understand how tiny I am
compared to him? But I secretly wish he could lie on top
of me forever. After catching his breath, he lifts up his
head to look at me.
“I love you.” He says and he pecks my lips. I just smile as
I’m still trying to recover. That was not love-making, it
was sex but we connected physically, spiritually and
emotionally. Our souls became one there for a moment.
It was beautiful and worth the wait. Yes I know we’ve
both just gambled with our lives by just assuming we’re
both clean and not using a condom, very irresponsible of
me but then this man effortlessly makes me lose all my
sense.

He pulls out and he takes my hand leading me to his en-

suit bathroom. Wow this bathroom is as big as my whole
bedroom and bathroom combined.
“Shower or bath?” he asks. I just stand there shaking my
head.
“What?” he asks looking confused.
“I don’t want to wash you off my body.”
“What??” he cracks with laughter. Did I say anything
funny?
“Come on MyHlali. Is my dick that good that it made you
lose your mind?” he’s still laughing. What the fuck is
wrong with him?
I walk back in the bedroom. If he wants to make fun of
me, he can shower alone. I take the throw on the couch
and I wrap myself with it. He walks in the bedroom.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Can you hurry up? We need to go and get the morning
after pill. I don’t want history to repeat itself.” I say
calmly.
“I thought you were going to join me, did I do something
wrong?” At least now he looks serious.
“Babe you can’t just laugh at me when I tell you
something. Am I a clown?” Wait, is that really why I’m
mad at him? Okay, maybe his penis did make me lose my
mind a bit.
“Okay okay I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were serious.”
I start laughing cause I realise I’m being ridiculous.
“Oh so now you’re the one who’s laughing at me? Ke na
le kharebe ea ka bohlanya. (I have a crazy girlfriend.)” He
says pulling me back in the bathroom.
“You make me crazy.” I reply as we step in the shower.
“You understand seSotho?” he looks surprised.
“Just marginally but I don’t know how to speak it.”
“Don’t worry I’ll teach you. When you meet my family
you won’t have any problem.”
Meet his what now? Eh! Hopefully it won’t be anytime
soon.
“Why do you need those morning after pills?” he asks
randomly.
“I need to clean out the seeds you planted inside my
body.” I can’t fall pregnant again.
“What happens if you leave them there?”
Is he stupid?
“A baby happens Jase.”
“Would that be a bad thing?”
I don't know if this is stupidity or just ignorance.
“I-” He cuts me off by pushing me against the wall under
the shower and he starts kissing me. I can’t even protest.
I’m stunned. And I’m thinking about my hair cause I don’t
have a shower cap on.
He continues until I finally give in. I close my eyes. The
kiss is intense. He has his elbows on the wall behind me
and my hands are on his back. We continue kissing, I
eventually run out of breath and I pull back. He decides
to go for my neck instead. His erection is poking my bare
tummy.
He lifts up my leg and without any warning he shoves it
in.
“Ahh!” I scream. This time he doesn’t start slowly he just
fucks me deep and hard, like really hard. He lifts up my
other leg and I wrap them around his waist.
I’m screaming and he’s groaning, it’s a perfect harmony.
He slows down and closes the tap. And just when I think
he’s going to pull out, he starts going hard again and I
feel the sensation again but he doesn’t stop. He
continues fucking me.

Now I know it’s been a while but I don’t remember sex

being this good. It’s like I'm having an out-of-body
experience, I can’t even feel my legs right now.
His body trembles too and again, he releases inside of
me. I wonder what point is he trying to prove really?
Seriously I need to get on the pill ASAP! I can’t be taking
risks like this. Once bitten, twice shy.
---
I’m sitting in front of the mirror in the dressing room
trying to dry my hair with a towel. I don’t know why I
didn’t bring my hairdryer, now my weave will look like
those cheap wet-look weaves.
Jason is already dressed but I’m still wrapped in a towel.
“My hair is a mess.” I say dropping my shoulders.
“There’s nothing wrong with your hair, let me help you.”
He takes the brush and starts brushing my weave.
“What do you know about hair?” I’m looking at what he’s
doing in the mirror.
Oh wow he’s plaiting it into one ponytail. I’m quite
impressed. Why didn’t I think of that?
“See? Done!” he gloats.
“Thank you.” I get up to get dressed.
As soon as I remove the towel wrapped around me he
comes behind me, grabs me by my waist and starts
kissing my neck. Doesn’t he get tired?
“Uh-uh babe we really must go, the pharmacy will close
soon.” I move away from him.
I put on a pair of jeans, t-shirt, sneakers and his baseball
cap. He grabs his wallet and he pauses. It looks like he’s
thinking about something.
“Which car do you want us to take?”
“I can pick any car?” I ask excitedly.
“Yes my love. Which one?” he seems amused by my
excitement.
“Let’s take the Porsche.” I pause. “No no the Bentley!
Yeah the Bentley.” I say like my six year old when I ask
her to pick an ice-cream flavor she wants.
“Are you sure?” he smirks taking the key from his
drawer.
“Yes I’m sure!” I say grabbing the key from his hand and I
run down stairs and out the door to the… Oh My God! I
stop on my tracks.
My heart is beating rapidly. A part of me says I should
run back in the house while the other part says I should
try and act calm.
On the drive way is a big fat black pit-bull. It’s facing the
other way so it hasn’t seen me yet. Lord knows how dogs
terrify me, they literally my biggest fear.
I don’t know what made it look my way. It gets up
immediately and starts barking.
I’m not the fastest runner so if I attempt to run it will
definitely catch up with me. I’m going to die.
“Jase!" I scream. The dog is coming towards me. I think
I’m going to wet myself. And where the fuck is Jason??
Surely he can hear the dog barking. I’m shaking now.
I don’t know what triggered this scary creature but it’s
running on full speed now towards where I’m frozen.
Okay I’m dead.

Suddenly I feel strong arms grabbing me from behind and

in a split second I’m inside the house. I’m trying to catch
my breath. What just happened?
“Jason why didn’t you tell me you have a dog in your
house? And it’s not just any dog, a pit-bull? Those dogs
kill!” I’m actually angry. Had he told he has such a scary
dog I wouldn’t have came here. No I’m lying.
“I’m sorry I forgot to lock him up.”
He’s not answering my question.
“You put my life in danger! Do you want me to die? Is
that what you want?”
“No babe. Panda doesn’t bite women.” He tries to justify.
“That’s not the point! If he doesn’t bite women then why
did you grab me like that?” He’s lying to me.
“He likes playing so he was going to come and jump all
over you.”
“Stop lying Jason! You probably thought now that I’ve
gotten in her pants I can feed her to my dog.” I’m so mad
I’m even saying things that I know aren’t true.
“So is that what you really think? You think I brought you
to my house just to sleep with you?” he looks a bit hurt
and confused. I keep quiet.
“Bulelwa I brought you here cause I love you. I want to
spend time with you. I want to be close to you. I want to
wake up next to you. I want to get to know you better.
And hell yeah I wanted to fuck you but that’s not my only
motive for bringing you here.”
Did he just say he wanted to fuck me? Hmm.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m really terrified of dogs and I
honestly thought I was going to die.”
“Let’s go and meet Panda so he can get used to you.”
What? Is he mad?
“Jason there’s no way I’m setting my foot outside until
I’m sure your dog is locked up somewhere.” I say firmly.
“But he sleeps in the house, what are you going to do
then?”
Wait, whaaat?!
“Haha I’m joking babe. You should have seen your face.
I’ll go and lock Panda up and we can go and get your
pills.” he says grinning. I almost died and he finds it
amusing?
“It’s not funny Jase. Hurry please.” I fold my arms in front
of my chest.
We went to Clicks cause the pharmacy was already
closed. I also got a hairdryer and a straightener to keep
at his house with his money. On Monday I have to see
the doctor for the contraceptives. We also went to get
dinner at one of his favourite restaurants.
He finally showed me around the house. We watched tv,
cuddling and kissing in between. We talked, I finally
opened up to him and told him about my childhood and
how I ended up with a baby at such an early ago. I also
told him about Quinn’s father, I don’t usually open up to
people about that because I’m scared of being judged.
We ended up going to bed very late.
---
I get up to make breakfast for him. Okay this man is a
health freak. Who keeps things like carrot juice and plain
yoghurt in their fridge?

I ended up making him a broccoli and cheese frittata with

whole-wheat toast and a glass of milk. I had to goggle a
healthy breakfast recipe. I’m not even sure if it came out
right. I just hope he likes it. I’ll have mixed berries and
yoghurt.

I go for a shower while he’s having his breakfast. I don’t

want to be there in case the food tastes abysmal.
Imagine the embarrassment.
I come out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped
around me. He’s still sitting on the bed. I steal a glance at
his plate on the pedestal. Okay its empty!
“The food was delicious my love thank you.” He says with
a grateful smile.
“It’s my pleasure.” I smile too.

He walks in the bathroom and I take my phone dialing my

mother’s number. I need to speak to my princess, I miss
her.
“Baby." It always warms my heart when my mom calls
me baby.
“Hi mama, how are you?”
“I’m okay mtanam, how’s work?”
“Work? Oh work! It’s… a bit hectic but I’m getting
through.” I lie. “Where’s Quinn?” I add quickly.
“She’s with your sister in her room.”
“Oh can you give her the phone please.” I should have
just called Babalwa.
“Okay hold on." I can hear her walking to Babalwa’s
room. I wait.
“Hi mommy!” my daughter is always on high spirits.
“Hello my cupcake. I miss you.”
“Will Jay visit us when you come back?” Wow that’s all
she’s worried about? I hope my mom is not in the room
cause I know she’ll start asking questions about this
mysterious ‘Jay’.
“Uh...I’m not sure but I can ask him to come and see
you.” I say and we continue chatting, she’s telling me
about a movie she was watching last night with Bebe. I
have to tell her I need to get back to work cause I know
she can go on the whole day.

This man I love walks out of the bathroom with a towel

around his waist. Man, he’s so sexy!
“I was talking to Quinn just now. She wants to see you,
that’s all she cares about.” I roll my eyes.
“Are you jealous MyHlali?” he smirks.
“Yes I am jealous. You’re my man not hers. And she
should be missing me.” I sulk.
They have this indescribable bond. And actually I’m glad
they do cause to be honest, had he not got along with
her I wouldn’t be with him.
“Don’t get dressed. Let’s just walk around the house
naked.” He suggests.
“You sure you can handle that?” I ask laughing.
“You should be asking yourself that question. I saw the
way you were checking me out when I walked out of the
shower.” He smirks. I blush.
“Okay let’s walk around the house naked but no touching
or anything like that is allowed.” I give him the warning
eye.
“Bathong baby are you trying to kill me?” he says. I
shrug.
“You the one who suggested it. So don’t come anywhere
near me Mister.” I walk out of the bedroom naked.
“You can’t torture me like that.” He’s following me. He’s
also naked. I run down the stairs. He’s chasing me.
“No get away from me Jase!” I yell still running. But it’s
not too long before he catches up with me. He wraps his
arms around me and he starts kissing me all over
regardless of my protests. We ended up doing it in the
kitchen.

We spent the whole day indoors, cuddling, talking,

eating, napping, sexing. I genuinely enjoy his company, I
can never get bored when I’m with him.

I can hear him singing in the shower. The sex I just gave
him must have been good then. I feel like we haven’t
made love yet cause for me making love is when you do
it on the bed and cuddle afterwards until you fall asleep.
So we’ve only had amazing sex. But anyway we’re going
clubbing tonight. We’ll meet some of his friends there so
I invited Sli too.

He walks out of the bathroom and his jaw drops to the

floor.
“Did you forget to wear your pants?” He asks.
I’m wearing a black short but you can hardly see it under
my oversized white tshirt. I’m also wearing black thigh-
high boots.
“Haha very funny Jase.” I say sarcastically.
“No babe I’m serious, I don’t see any pants.” He looks
serious.
“They right here.” I lift up my top to show him. He gasps.
“Babe you look sexy and all but you can’t go to the club
looking like that.”
Oh I have a father now who tells me what to and what
not to wear.
“What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I sit down in
front of the mirror to do my make-up.
“You’re…too sexy. Are you trying to tempt other men?”
What? Wow.
“I am not trying to tempt any men.”
“Well then wear something else.” He instructs.
“I am not changing my outfit Jason. You’re not my father.
You can’t tell me what to and what not to wear.” I say
firmly.
“Yes I’m not your father but I am your man. You need to
respect that.”
“You’re right. You’re my man not my fucking dictator!” I
snap.
“Bulelwa what did you just say?” his voice is calm but his
face is hard. I keep quiet.
“I will not tolerate you disrespecting me like that, do you
understand?” He warns.
“So now I must change what I’m wearing because of your
insecurities?” I can’t do that.
He looks at me. I’m not sure if it’s anger or shock I see on
his face.
“You know what? Wear whatever you want to wear.” He
says before walking out of the bedroom and slamming
the door behind him. Okay it’s definitely anger.
I wait a moment before taking off my boots and changing
my outfit to blue jeans and a black long-sleeved bodysuit
and I put the boots back on. I grab my phone and I walk
out the bedroom.
I don’t find him anywhere in the house so I’m assuming
he’s already in the car. He didn’t even ask me which car I
want us to use today. Yikes!

I walk to the front door but I stop just when I’m about to
open. What if his dog is out there? I decide to call him.
“I’m in the car.” He says and drops the call. Wow! How
did we get here?
I go to the living room and I sit on the couch. I can’t go
outside, I am not taking that risk! I just sit there staring
into space.
I messed up didn’t I? I should have just shut up and
changed the stupid shorts! But I don’t want him to
control me though.
I decide to take a few selfies on my phone just to take my
mind off things. I really need a glass of wine.
He walks in while I’m trying different poses. He stares. I
stare back.
“Who are those pictures for?” he asks moderately
without looking at me. Is he serious?
“Uh..they for my..phone..my instagram.” Why the hell
am I stuttering? Now it will look like I’m lying.
“You made me wait in the car so you can take pictures
for your instagram?”
Why is he being like this?
“No I was actually waiting for you. You know I can’t just
go outside because of your dog.” I’m trying to keep my
voice moderate as well. He looks at me for a moment.
“The dog is locked up. Can we go?”
I don’t say anything, I just walk outside.
He locks the front doors and follows behind me. The
Range Rover has its lights on so I’m assuming we’re using
it. I get on the passenger side and I close the door. He
gets in on the driver side.
“Do you want to drive?” he asks looking at me. I shake
my head. He starts the car without saying anything.

We’re both quiet the whole drive to the club. When we

get there he parks and just when he’s about to open his
door I grab his hand.
“I’m sorry.” Seriously what’s the point of going in the
club if things are like this between us? He looks at me.
“What for?” His voice is low.
“For disrespecting you.” I see his jaw tightening and he
looks away.
“Bulelwa the only thing I was trying to do was to protect
you from those perverts inside the club who have zero
respect for women and you accuse me of being insecure?
Really?” he sounds a little hurt. I guess I didn’t see it that
way.
“I’m sorry babe. I didn’t mean it.” I don’t know why I’m
getting all teary now. He doesn’t say anything. He just
takes my hand and kisses it.

We find his friends/employees already seated by the VIP

area. Seriously I’ve never heard of a boss that parties
with his employees, but that’s none of my business.
He introduces me to his friends Siya, Dom and Loyiso.
Siya and Dom are the trainers that work at one of his
gyms. Their bodies are full evidence. Loyiso is an
executive at the law firm. Apparently they saw me on
that fateful night when I acted a fool in front of the man I
now call my boyfriend.

I’m sitting next to my man and he has his arm around me

as if someone will steal me away from him. I’m just
sitting here listening to the guys’ conversation cluelessly.
I take my phone and I text Sli. “Skat where you at?"
Knowing Sli, she’ll take forever to reply so I put my phone
away.

I’m looking at all the crazy things happening around me.

There’s a chick who is dancing on top of the tables, she's
literally left with just her underwear on. I have so many
questions like who did she come with? Who are her
friends? Do they love her? And then there’s a couple
making out in front of everyone, the guy even has his
hand inside her pants, he’s fingering her I think. It's
proven, alcohol is not for everyone hey?

I shift my eyes from them and boom I spot my friend

sitting by the bar area with some guy. This bitch!
I excuse myself and I walk over to her. I tap her on the
shoulder. She seems surprised to see me.
“Hey...” she turns to guy. “dude the person I was waiting
for is here. It was nice meeting you.” She says getting up
from the bar chair.
“Okay can you give me your number before you go?” the
poor guy asks.
“Uh..083 pssh forget it diot.” She says before she grabs
my hand and we walk away. Smh.
“That’s not nice Sli.”
“Give him your number then.”
I’m pretty sure the drink she was having, that poor guy
bought it for her.
“Now let’s go drink your man’s money.” She says to me.
She’s crazy.

We get to the guys and I introduce her to Jason’s friends.

She keeps nudging me with her elbow. I know exactly
what she’s thinking; later she’ll tell me to hook her up
with one of them.

I’ve been sitting here drinking next to my man while my

friend is breaking it down on the dance floor. Everyone
here is tipsy, well some more than the others so the
awkwardness is over.

The DJ drops my hit and I get up to join my friend on the

dance floor. I realize I’m really drunk because had I been
on my right senses, I wouldn’t be grinding like this in
front of so many people. I feel like Rihanna right now. I
start twerking on Sli while she’s spanking my butt hyping
me. Suddenly I feel a strong hand grabbing my arm.
WTF? It’s Jason.
“Let’s go home.” He whispers to my ear. Kanti what is
wrong with this man? Can’t he see I’m having fun here?
“No babe I don’t want to leave yet.” I scream to his ear
over the music.
“I didn’t ask you if you want to leave or not. I’m telling
you we’re leaving now.” He says dragging me out of the
club like a stubborn dog.
“Jason let go of my arm you’re hurting me!” I shout. He
lets go immediately.
“Get in the car.” He orders. His voice is firm. I shake my
head.
“You can go. I’ll leave with Sli.”
“Bulelwa I am not leaving without you. Now stop causing
unnecessary drama and get in the car.” He opens the
door for me. I think he’s getting pissed. I get in the car.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” I ask when he gets in
the car as well. Seriously he can’t drag me out of the club
like that and expect me to be cool about it. Especially not
when I’m drunk.
He doesn’t say anything. He just starts driving looking
straight ahead on the road. His face is tense. So he’s not
talking to me now? Fine we’ll see how long it will last. I
keep quiet too and I look away.

When we get to his place I don’t wait for him to come

and open my door for me. I just get out and I slam his car
door. The look he gives me! I don’t care. I walk up the
steps to the front doors, he follows behind me.

When he unlocks the door I walk in and I head straight to

his bedroom. Why is he following me? I walk to his closet
and I start taking out my stuff.
“What are you doing?”
Oh so now he wants to talk?
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I’m packing my stuff
in my bag.
“Bulelwa you are not going anywhere.” He says closing
the door and he leans against it with his arms crossed in
front of his chest.
“Jason what is wrong with you today? First you control
what I wear, I let you. You drag me out of the club like
I’m nobody, and now you want to fucking force me to
stay here? What the hell?” I shout.
“Stop shouting and watch the way you’re talking to me.”
He warns calmly but his face looks scary. Again, I don’t
care.
“Or what?” I push. I’m fuming actually.
“Bulelwa!” he warns again slowly coming towards me.
Anger is written all over his face. His eyes are piercing.
I’ve never seen him like this and I must admit it’s utterly
sexy.
“Damn you look sexy when you’re mad. I’m totally
turned on right now.”
“You think you’re funny? You disrespect me and you
think it’s a joke?” he barks taking both my wrists in his
hands and he holds them tight. Too tight to be precise.
“You’re hurting me.” I say. It comes out almost as a
whisper, I’m shit terrified now. He doesn’t let go.
“I am not having any discussion with you when you’re
this drunk. Now promise me you’ll go take a shower and
go straight to bed.” He says. I just nod.
He slowly lets go of my wrists and I don’t know why but I
just hug him real tight, but it’s like I’m hugging a tree. I
let go and I go for a shower before heading straight to
bed as instructed.

After taking his shower he comes to bed too. I can’t

sleep, I’m just fidgeting.
“What’s wrong?” he asks in the dark.
“I want you.” I answer honestly. He doesn’t say anything.
Okay I’m assuming he won’t help me so I turn my back
on him and I close my eyes. A few minutes later he shifts
closer to me. Okay. He tucks his hand inside my pajama
shorts and underwear. He starts massaging my clit with
his finger. A soft moan escapes my lips. I feel his erection
poking my ass. I’m definitely getting some tonight! He
takes his hand out and pulls down my shorts together
with my underwear.
I’m not sure when he pulled out his mate but he lifts up
my leg slightly and he’s in just like that. I press my lips
together. He moves in and out a few times and he pulls
out. What the hell?
“Jason?”
“What?” he says shifting away from me. I turn around to
face him. Oh great! He has his back against me.
“So you’re going to leave me hanging like that?” he can’t
torture me like this.
“Sleep Bulelwa.”
Wow bhuti! He didn’t help me. Instead he just made it
worse. He’s being such a dick right now.
“Idiot!” I whisper under my breath. God this is so
frustrating! I pull up my shorts and underwear as I try to
sleep.
---
I open my eyes but I shut them again immediately. The
light from the sun is too bright. I try to open them again
slowly until my eyes adjusted. There’s a bottle of water
and some pain killers on the pedestal. At least he still
cares even though I’m sure he’s mad at me wherever he
is.
I drink the pills and I get up to make the bed before going
for shower. My body is failing me. I’m so exhausted and I
have a splitting headache.

I put on the black shorts I was forbidden to wear last

night and a white vest with his sleepers. I open the
sliding door that leads to the balcony to get some fresh
air. I’m not ready to go downstairs and face my sins so I
walk out to the balcony.

As I’m standing there I see him playing with his dog in the
back yard. I just stand there and I watch. He looks up at
me briefly and he carries on with his dog. I feel a lump
rising in my throat and tears threating my eyes. I quickly
walk back inside and I sit on the bed biting the back of
my hand.
He walks in the bedroom and he finds me crying.
“Babe are you crying?” he crouches in front of me and he
takes my hands. I cry even more.
“What’s wrong?” I can sense panic in his voice.
“I’m sorry Jason.” I say in a breaking voice.
“Shh..it’s okay.” He says getting up and pulling me to his
embrace.
“I didn’t mean to disrespect you.” I cry on his chest.
“Baby you were drunk I understand.”
Now ladies here’s a little tip, when you’re in trouble with
your man or having an argument and you see that he’s
actually winning, resort to plan B: tears. I swear it works
every time.
“So you not mad at me?”
“No. You’ve already paid your dues, even though I kind of
punished myself too in the process but it’s okay.” He
shrugs.
“What do you mean?” I’m confused.
“That little episode in bed last night, don’t you
remember?” he smirks. Oooh that.
“So you did it deliberately? You jerk! Do you understand
how frustrated I was?” I punch him playfully on the arm.
He laughs.
“I was just as frustrated. That’s why I’ll have to find
another way to punish you.” We both laugh.
He takes my face in his hands and he looks straight into
my eyes.
“I can never stay mad at you, you’re my person.” His
hands smell of a dog but I don’t care.
“You’re my person.” I say. We share a passionate kiss.

I had to change the shorts again cause we’re going to the

mall. I’m wearing jeans and sneakers and his denim
jacket. It’s a bit big on me but it looks cool. He’s also
wearing jeans and sneakers.
“You look cute when you’re wearing my clothes.”
I’m not sure if it’s a compliment or what.
“So I only look cute when I’m wearing your clothes?”
“No no. You look cute everyday. You look cute when you
happy. You look cute when you’re sad. When you’re
annoyed. When you nervous. When you turned on.
When you horny. When you-” I cut him off.
“Okay okay I get it. Can we go?”
He laughs.
“Yes we can go my love.” He says taking his wallet and
cellphone.
He let me drive his Porsche. I can’t even contain my
excitement. And this man next to me can’t even hide his
amusement. I don’t care.
“You so cute.” He says with a wry smile.
“Ugh shut up!” I wish we could just drive around and
don’t stop. But we eventually get to the mall so I have to
park.
“What exactly are we here to do?” I ask before getting
off the car.
“We’re here to get you some proper clothes not those
skimpy shorts you wear.”
He’s so shady! I’m actually offended but I’m about to
destroy his account so I’ll let it slide.

So I took him to all my favourite shops available in PMB. I

even took him to Cotton On for my skimpy shorts.
Yes I bought the shorts with his money. I told him I’ll only
wear them in the house but I know that’s a lie. I have
nice legs so why should I hide them?
We walk out of the mall each carrying about 5 shopping
bags. They all mine. He didn’t even buy a sock for
himself. He wanted to buy Quinn some stuff but I told
him she has more clothes than me. And honestly, there
are some things in her closet she has never worn.

As we get to the parking lot, boom! Guess who we bump

into?
*
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*
*
Wait, 103 page likes? When? How? Cause last time I
checked I only had 2 readers 😂 Thank you so much
guys, I appretiate it. ❤
(Please excuse my Sotho in the story, I don't know it so I
rely on google translation)
Chapter 6 loading...
Chapter Six
Can someone get a gun and shoot me? Out of all people
in this planet why did we have to bump into this man?
Gag! I try to look away quickly pretending as if I don’t see
him.

“Bulelwa!” he calls out. Damnit! Jason and I both turn

around.
“Oh Benjamin!” I try to act surprised.
“How are you? I was bombed not to see you at church
today but Mah told me you went away for work.”
Oh shit I’m screwed. Jason gives me a questioning look.
“I..Uh..I was away but I..I just came back a few hours
ago.”
Wait, why am I even entertaining this guy? Oh yes he’ll
run back to my mother and tell her he saw me with a guy
at the mall, and that can’t be good.
He keeps looking at Jason in a very disrespectful way. It’s
like he’s looking down on him.
“Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” he
asks still giving Jase malicious stares. Who does this man
think he is? Rha!
“No. There’s no need. We’re leaving anyway. I’ll see you
around.” I say walking away and Jase follows behind me.
“What the hell just happened?” Jason asks as we get in
the car.
“That was Evangelist Benjamin from my church.” I say
rolling my eyes.
“What’s up with him?”
“What do you mean what’s up with him?”
“I could see you weren’t really comfortable around him
and the way he kept looking at me. Do you guys have
history or something?”
I can’t really read the look on his face right now.
“Me? History with Benjamin?” I guffaw. He shrugs.
“No. Apparently he wants to marry me. But that will
never happen. It’s just ludicrous.”
He widens his eyes.
“Then why didn’t you tell him I’m your man so he can
back off?” he’s so clueless.
“That wouldn’t have been a good idea. You see the thing
is, my mother is head over heels about him. She thinks
he’s the perfect guy for me. With that said, he can make
things really difficult for us.” I explain. He’s not looking at
me now. His eyes are fixed on the road but I can see his
jaw is tight.
“Babe you have to understand that it won’t be easy
getting my mother to accept you since she likes Benjamin
so much. I don’t want to add on that and give her
another reason to despise you. I’ll introduce you when
the time is right.” I say. He doesn’t say anything. I also
keep quiet.
We went to Olive & Oil to pick up lunch and we drove
back to his house.

After eating I take the shopping bags upstairs, he follows

me. Before trying on the clothes I check all the pay slips
and I do my calculations in my head and.. OMG! The total
is almost R10 000! I have never spent so much money on
clothes. I feel really bad.
“Jase...”
“Baby.” he says without looking at me. He’s taking off his
shoes.
“Why didn’t you tell me to stop? I can’t be spending that
much money on clothes!”
He finally looks at me.
“Oh that’s nothing. We have to go to Jo’burg for proper
shopping. The shops here are fucked up.”
The shade! And he calls spending R10 000 on clothes
nothing? Okay.
I make him sit on the bed and I take all the shopping bags
to the dressing room so I can do a little fashion show for
him.

I tried on all the clothes before calling him in the dressing

room to help me with something. Well we ended up
‘unintentionally’ having mind blowing sex. Well it was my
intention, he just didn’t know that. Sex is my new found
obsession. And besides, I’m going back to my place
today, I don’t know how long I’ll have to wait to get this
opportunity again.
“Don’t leave me please.” He says as we’re lying on the
two sitter couch in the dressing room trying to recover.
“I don’t want to leave but I have to.” I’m laying on my
stomach facing him. My upper body is on him and my
lower body is between his legs.
“You don’t have to. Can’t you leave tomorrow morning at
least?” he suggests.
“No Jase. I promised Quinn I would pick her up today.”
He scratches his chin.
“Can I go with you to pick her up?” Is he serious?
“Did my vagina make you lose your mind?” We both
laugh. His face changes suddenly.
“Does Q ever ask about her father?” he’s serious now.
“Yeah she does actually. She would ask me why doesn’t
she have a daddy like the other kids at her school.” This
has always been a sensitive topic but I am not about to
get sentimental. Not today.
“And what do you tell her?” he asks. I take a deep
breath.
“Well I’ve explained to her that God only gives you two
parents if one isn’t strong enough and needs someone to
help them, but I am super mom I don’t need anyone to
help me. I have no choice but to lie to her Jase. I can’t
really tell a six year old that your father didn’t want you,
he told me to kill you so I cut him out of your life.” I feel
the lump in my throat. He pulls me up so that my head is
on his chest and he kisses the top of my head.
“It’s not entirely a lie. You are super mom.”
“It’s all my fault. It’s my fault that my child has to grow
up without a father. She’s the one who’s suffering
because of my imbecilic mistakes. I can never forgive
myself for that.” The tears roll down my face, I can’t hold
them back any longer.
“Shh..it’s okay. Trust me you’re the best mom a child
could ever ask for. And you’re not alone, I’m here.” He
wipes my tears. I look up at him and I force a smile.
“Let’s go shower so I can get ready to leave.”
“But I don’t want you to leave.” He sulks like a little girl. I
can’t help laughing.
“Come on Jase.” I’m pulling his hand.

We took a shower while singing the classical duet – Baby

it’s cold outside. It was so hilarious cause neither of us
can sing. I love the fact that he can just lighten up my
mood without doing much.

I packed all my stuff and he drove me to my place. I left

my things and immediately got in my car and drove
straight home. I can’t wait to see my baby I miss her so
much.
I walk in the house and I find mom in the kitchen.
“Hi mama.” I greet. “Where’s my baby?”
She doesn’t say anything, she just looks at me from head
to toe. Okay.

Quinn is probably watching tv so I walk over to the

lounge but I don’t find her there. As I make my way to
check the bedrooms I hear someone shouting “Boo!”
behind me making me flinch and scream. God this child
will give me a heart attack. She’s laughing at me.
“Nana you scared me!” I give her a hug trying to pick her
up.
“I missed you.” I say kissing her cheeks, her forehead, her
lips, her nose..basically everywhere on her face.
“Okay mommy that’s enough!” she says giggling.
I start tickling her, she laughs even harder.
“Stop!” she yells through her laughter.
“First tell me you love me.” I say still tickling her.
“Okay I love you!”
“How much?” I ask. She’s laughing so hard she can’t even
breathe.
“To the moon and back.” You can barely make out what
she’s saying.
“And I love you to the stars and back.” She’s my
everything.

I head back to the kitchen.

“You look.. different.” Mom says finally. How do I look
different?
“What do you mean I look different?”
“Vuyelwa told me about your friend ‘Jay’ who’s been
visiting you late at night. Are you sleeping with him?”
God my child is such a snitch though. My mom calls her
by her second name Vuyelwa, the name she actually
gave her.
“No. Absolutely not! As Quinn said, he’s just my friend.”
“Same friend who took you shopping today?”
Benjamin! I swear that man will be the death of me. He’s
utterly exasperating.
“He..I..I was helping him shop for his girlfriend.” I’m
getting good at this lying game.
“Bulelwa I gave birth to you, you can’t fool me. Do you
want to become a single mom again?” she says. I am not
in the mood for this.
“I told you Mama I am not sleeping with him.”
Even if I were to get pregnant, I know he’d never leave
me to raise his child alone. I think we’d be great parents
together actually. I want my second born to be a boy. I
can just imagine our little family; Me, him, Quinn and our
baby boy.
“Bulelwa!” mom shouts making me flinch. I was deep in
thought. “Why are you smiling to yourself like that? Are
you mad?” she asks looking at me like I’m some retard.
“Nothing. I’m just happy to see my child.” Which is true.
“You need to teach that child of yours Zulu okanye
isiXhosa. She’s a black child not white.”
Lol what?
“God Mah that is super 90s.” I laugh. “And Quinn knows
Zulu, she just chooses not to speak it.” I shrug.
“She does? Yesterday I asked her to get ikamu(comb) for
me and she looked at me like I was speaking a foreign
language. I had to say it in English for her to get it.” She
says. I can’t help laughing. I know Quinn knows what
ikamu is, she was probably just being Quinn.

I chill with mom for a while before driving to Sli’s place. I

need to fill my bitch in on my weekend.

“Look who’s here!” Sli says as we walk inside the house.

Quinn greets her and she disappears to find her friend.
“Last night you just disappeared without even saying
goodbye.” She says.
“I know. Sorry. Apparently I was grinding for other men
so Jase thought it was best for us to leave.”
“I hate to say this but I told you. Serious relationships are
boring. Having fun is…fun.” She says.
“You mean sleeping around is fun?”
“Don’t judge me. At least I don’t have anyone controlling
me.” She rolls her eyes.
“I know. It’s just that how can you not be in a
relationship with someone you love so much? It’s like
when I’m with him I forget about everything else and
when I’m without him he’s stuck on my mind.” I’m
blushing now.
“Look at you, you’re like a love struck teenager. I see his
dick is treating you good too, you’re glowing.” She says
with her loud voice.
“Keep it down, there are kids in this house.”
“Seriously though is he good in bed?” she whispers.
“Oh friend...” I say resting my elbows on the counter and
my hands on my cheeks, I’m just thinking about how we
made love and I’m blushing like crazy.
I look at Sli, she’s giving me that “is this you” look.
“Shut up.” I say raising my hand cause I know she’s about
to say something. She laughs.
“So how big is his…you know.” She points with her eyes.
“Gosh Slindile! I am not discussing his man size with
you.” I can’t believe she just asked me that question.
“If you can’t tell me that means it’s probably not very
pleasing.” She says. Whatever. And why are we even
talking about my man’s dick?
“Nevertheless, you’re not the only one that got some D
this weekend.” She says with a mischievous smile. Well
I’m not surprised.
“Who got lucky this time?” I ask. She doesn’t say
anything she just smirks.
“Who is it?” I push. She’s still smirking.
“Is it someone I know?”
She nods. Oh no this can’t be good.
“Tell me already!”
“It’s your man’s friend Loyiso.” She covers her face. Say
whaaaat?
“Oh my God! How did that happen?” I’m stunned.
“Well after you guys left he came to dance with me and
one thing led to another and it happened.” She shrugs.
Wow.
“You saw how big his muscles are? His dick is just as big,
it’s like it works out as well. I want him again.” She says
biting her bottom lip.
“You crazy.” I shake my head.
“Skat I need to get on birth control. I’ve considered the
pill but I don’t think I can manage taking it everyday
without forgetting.” I say.
“You do know of this thing called a condom that you use
to prevent diseases and unwanted pregnancies right?”
“No I can’t use that rubber.” I’ve never tried it and I don’t
want to try it.
“Get an IUD then, the one I have. It lasts for five years
though.” She suggests.
“Five years? What if I want a baby and that period isn’t
over yet?”
“Whoa! Now you want a baby with that man? Slow
down!”
“No no. I didn’t say that, I’m just speaking
hypothetically.” She’s forward.
“Hmm. Get on the pill and put a reminder on your phone
or something.” She advises.
“Oh yeah that might actually work. Why didn’t I think of
that?” I say.
“Cause that man is the only thing that’s on your brain.”
She says and we both laugh. My phone rings. It’s my
man. I can’t help smiling.
“Hi babe.” I answer. Sli rolls her eyes.
“My love can I come to your place there’s something we
need to discuss.” He says. He sounds serious.
“What is it? Can’t you tell me over the phone?” I ask.
“No I can’t tell you over the phone I have to see you.” He
says. He’s really scaring me now. He was with me a few
hours ago why didn’t he tell me then?
“Okay I’ll be waiting for you.” Now I’m anxious. What if
he wants to break up with me?
“Skat I have to go. Jase is coming over, he says there’s
something important we need to discuss.” I say grabbing
my keys.
“Okay. Let’s hope he doesn’t tell you he’s married or
anything like that.” She jokes with a serious face.
“Not funny Sli.” I say walking away to get Quinn.
On the way we stop at McDonalds to get her food. As
you may have noticed by now I don’t like cooking or
cleaning. I’m just not a domestic person.

So the important thing we needed to discuss was him

telling me he wants me to meet his family the other
weekend. It wasn’t even up for discussion. I’m really
anxious about that because what if they don’t like me?
What if they reckon I’m not good enough for him? But
most of all, I’m scared of being judged by my past. Even
though he assured me that their options don’t matter,
he’ll still love me regardless but everyone wants to be
loved by their possible in-laws right?
Oh and he bought me an iPhone X and he bought Quinn
an iPad which I wasn’t happy about. I mean he can’t be
buying my six year old such an expensive gadget, I don’t
want my child to be a spoilt brat but he doesn’t get it.
And plus, she already has a tablet which I think is
appropriate for her age. To make things worse, Quinn
invited him to her dance concert on Saturday which
automatically forces me to introduce him to my mom
cause she’s also coming with Babalwa. I’m very stressed
about that cause I know how my mom is, I’m actually
dreading it.
He ended up staying till late and we ordered in dinner.

I take Quinn to her room and I put her in her pajamas

and I tuck her in bed before reading her a bedtime story.
When I read the last page she’s already fallen asleep with
her arm around me and her head on my chest. I lay her
properly on the pillow and I tuck one of her teddy bears
next to her. I kiss her on the forehead before dimming
the lights.

I’m cuddling with Jason on the couch watching t.v. Well

the t.v is kind of watching us cause we’re busy making
out. I know he should be leaving but I don’t want him to
leave.
“You have to leave.” I say breathing heavily. He doesn’t
stop.
“Do you really want me to leave?” he asks in between
kisses. I nod. My mind says yes but my body is
contradicting. I’m still allowing him to kiss me and I’m
kissing him back. I’m already aroused.
I push him off me and I get up taking his hand and
leading him to my bedroom. We enter and I lock the
door. We’re going to have sex in my house, in my bed.
We start kissing again moving towards the bed. I lend on
it on my back. He gets on top of me.

He’s so slow and passionate. He takes off my top and bra

and I take off his top. He cups my A-cup breasts and he
squeezes them, I scream. It hurts. He looks at me.
“You okay?”
I sense panic in his voice. I nod and I smile as I just
remembered I’m going to start my periods soon. He
takes off my jeans and underwear and I do the same.
He starts kissing me again and he goes down to my neck,
my shoulders, my boobs, he kisses them gently going all
the way down to my stomach, my thighs, my inner thighs
and..don’t tell me he’s about to do what I’m thinking.
He parts my legs a little further. Omg he’s doing it. I feel
his hot breath in my cookie. No one has ever done this to
me but it feels damn good.
“Hmm..” I moan softly.
He carries on sucking and biting my clit gently.
“Oh my God Jase..” I cry arching my back and clenching
the sheets. He doesn’t stop, he continues sucking more
and sliding his tongue in and out of my opening and I
finally reach my orgasm.
I grab his arms pulling him up. He kneels between my
legs and he inserts himself.
“Hmm..” I sigh pressing my lips together. He goes harder.
“Ahh Lisebo...” I scream.
“Ssh.. you’ll wake the kid.” He whispers covering my
mouth with his hand.
He continues harder and faster. I bite his shoulder to
suppress a loud moan. I can’t help it, he’s hitting all the
sensitive spots.
After reaching my second orgasm, he stops and he flips
us over so now I’m on top. I peck him on the lips before
riding him like my life depends on it. I throw my head
back to remove my weave away from my face. It’s now
wet from sweat, I should have tied it. I continue riding
him. He’s groaning loudly. Okay so it’s okay for him to
make noise? I take the pillow and I press it on his face. I
can’t help laughing. I'm suffocating my man and I find it
funny.
“MyHlali are you trying to kill me?” he says breathing
heavily when I finally remove the pillow.
I laugh and I kiss him before continuing to fuck him and
our bodies tremble together. This man never pulls out.
But he did say he was planning on knocking up his
girlfriend on our first date. It feels like it was ages ago but
it was just two months ago. Anyway I am not having that!
I’m getting on the pill tomorrow.

I get off him to lay next to him with my head on his chest
and my arm across his toned stomach. He kisses the top
of my head.
---
I’m woken by the sharp noise of my alarm. Oh it’s 5 am
already? I feel like crying. It’s like I only had two minutes
of sleep. I look at this man snoring next to me. He got to
wake up.
“Jase.” I shake him. He’s fast asleep.
“Jason get up!” I shake him harder.
“Hmm?” he says with his eyes still closed.
“Babe you have to go.” I hate what I’m doing but it’s not
like I have a choice.
“No it’s still early go back to sleep.” He says turning his
back on me. Oh my god he’s just like my six year old
when I wake her up.
“No Jase I’m going to work and you have to leave before
Quinn wakes up.” She can’t find out he slept here, she's a
blabber mouth. And my helper is coming too, she can’t
find him here. “Come on Jase I’m going to be late, do you
want me to get fired?” he’s so frustrating.
“It’s not like you need that job anyway.”
Uh..yeah I need it.
He gets up and he goes in the bathroom. I put on my
robe before quickly changing the sheets. He comes out of
the bathroom and he wears yesterday’s clothes. Lol he’s
sulking. I go to him and I wrap my arms around him
standing on my toes to give him a baby kiss.
“I’m sorry okay?”
“It’s okay.”
I check the passage before walking him out. You’d swear
I’m a teenager who has just snuck in a boy at her parents’
house.
I see my very nosy neighbour Mr Watson but I greet him
dismissively. He’s the type that talks and never stops and
I don’t have time for that. I walk back inside for a quick
shower before waking Quinn. After giving her a bath and
dressing her in her school uniform which is just shorts
and a t-shirt and running shoes, she’s still in grade R, I
make her some cereal.
We hear the gate buzzer. It’s MaDlamini my helper.

I send Quinn to go and open for her while I quickly make

my way to my bedroom to make sure nothing will give
away I had sex last night or the fact that a man slept
here. I know this is my house and she’s just my helper
but she’s also an adult. I take her as my mother.
My bedroom looks normal so I walk out and I find her
and Quinn in the kitchen. I greet her before going to the
garage to load the stuff in the car. I’ll be picking Quinn up
at her dance classes this whole week since they have a
show on Saturday. Sli will take them there after school.
They do ballet and hip-hop.
I drop Quinn off at school and I drive to work. We’re
working on next week’s issue. I usually don’t have too
much work on Mondays because I only receive about 5-6
submissions. Some of these bitches I work with wait until
Thursday to submit their work and I’m the one who has
to work under pressure because I have to submit to the
publisher by Friday.

To those wondering what exactly does a sub-editor do,

well my main job is to put the magazine together. I work
on the whole layout of the magazine, like the sizes of
pictures, articles, fonts, style, order of the magazine, etc.
I also check on things like spelling errors, grammar and
punctuations. However, I do not have a say on what goes
on the magazine, that’s the editor-in-chief’s work.

It’s not exactly my dream job. I’ve always wanted to be

the editor-in-chief of my own my magazine and I’m still
working my way there. When I first came to this
company I was just an assistant doing my internship.
Then I moved to editor assistant and got promoted to
sub-editor but after two weeks of promotion our senior
sub-editor died so I was asked to fill in for her while they
look for a candidate to replace her. They saw that I was
actually doing a great job so they kept me there ever
since. May her soul rest in peace.

My boss Clare, the owner of the magazine barges in my

small office with a middle aged white man. She never
knocks nor greet.
“And this is our senior sub-editor Bhulelwa, she’s also the
youngest member in the board team.” She says flashing
me a huge fake ass smile. Bitch! She forgot to mention
I’m also the only black woman on board. I have no idea
who this man is or why am I being introduced to him.
“Bhulelwa this is Mr Lintvelt your new manager.” She
says. What? What happened to Grace? And this is a
female fashion magazine, the only male we have here is
gay. But I know better than to ask.
“Pleased to meet you Bhulelwa. I see you’re already
doing a great job so I won’t have any problems with
you.” He says offering his hand for a handshake. Yeah
whatever, I think to myself. But I fake a smile as I shake
his hand.
“Pleased to meet you too Sir.” I say. He’s looking at me in
a way I cannot explain. Let’s just hope he’s not a pain like
this bitch standing next to him. And can they leave now?
I have work to do.

I went to my gynaecologist during my lunch time and I

ended up getting an IUD cause he explained to me that it
lasts up to five years but I can remove it anytime I feel
like I’m ready for a baby. Even though I cannot feel it, it
still feels weird walking around knowing I have a device
in my uterus. But he told me I’ll get used to it over time.
While he was busy down there, I couldn’t help wondering
if he could tell I had sex last night.

I get back in the office and I decide to call Jase to tell him
about my smart decision.
“MyHlali you miss me already?” he says as he answers
the phone.
“Nope! I don’t.”
“Ouch. That hurts cause I miss you.” He says.
“Are you done sulking?” I ask laughing.
“No actually.” he says. I chuckle.
“Sorry. Guess what I did?” I say excitedly. He laughs.
“What did you do now?” he asks as if I’m always doing
things nje.
“Don’t you understand the word guess? Well I got an
IUD!”
“You got an IU what?” he asks.
“It’s an intrauterine device babe. Now I don’t have to
take any prevention meds or use condoms. I’m sorted for
five years.” I explain. He’s quiet.
“Baby?”
“Bulelwa why would you go and get that without
speaking to me first?” he says. Oh here we go again.
“I told you I’m not ready for another baby.” I’m actually
glad this is a phone call cause I wouldn’t be rolling my
eyes like this had it been a face-to-face conversation.
“I know but you should have spoken to me still. What if
that thing affects your chances of ever getting pregnant
again?” he’s so fussy.
“It won’t. My gynaecologist assured me it won’t.” I
assure him.
“I don’t know Bulelwa, we’ll talk about this when I see
you. I have to go.”
“Okay..”
“I love you.” He says.
“I love you too.” I didn’t know me acting responsible
would cause any problems. Yikes!
---
After work I drove to my mom's place to inform her I got
a mans who wants to meet her, lol she was livid talking
about what do I know about Sotho men from Jo’Burg
when I’ve never even travelled outside KZN, yeap
throwing shade at her own daughter. And she’s lying, I’ve
been to Eastern Cape many times when I was younger.
She even said his penis is making me crazy cause this is
not the Bulelwa she knows, well I actually have to agree
with her on that. And Quinn just had to tell her he
bought me a new phone and her an iPad which made
things even worse, I did say she’s a blabber mouth. But
nonetheless, I’m glad the cat is out of the bag.

When I arrived home I had to call a cab for my helper

cause it was already late, she couldn’t take taxis.
I help my child with her homework before running her a
bath while I quickly prepare dinner, spaghetti and
meatballs. We live on easily cooked or pre-cooked meals
here cause I’m not the greatest cook. Don’t judge.

I go through my evening mundane; we eat dinner then I

wash the dishes then we watch t.v till 9 pm then I put
Quinn in bed and then I watch some more t.v or I read a
book. I’m currently reading this thought-provoking novel,
like it's so intriguing that once I start reading I can’t put it
down, so I’ve decided I won’t touch it today. Instead I get
in bed and I call my man. It’s ringing but no answer. Okay
that’s a first; he always picks up on the first ring when I
call him. I try him again but he’s still not answering.
I text him goodnight before putting my phone under the
pillow. Now I can’t help thinking what could make him
not answer my calls so late at night, and it’s all negative
thoughts. Why do we women do that? Why do we
always think the worst? I mean this guy has never given
me a reason not to trust him. It’s this first instinct we get
which is absolutely wrong cause a relationship is built on
trust. If you love a person, you have to trust them. Trust
is like the fundamental of a healthy relationship.
---
I’m at work thinking about this man who still hasn’t
returned my calls. Maybe he’s mad at me for getting the
IUD, which would be absurd cause this is my body. I
make the decisions.

I try to call him using the office line but I’m interrupted
by this white man walking in my office without knocking.
No respect whatsoever!
“Bhulelwa.” He says with a stupid grin on his face.
“Mr Lintvelt.” I return a forced smile.
“Oh just call me Lint, like mint but Lint.” He laughs. I
don’t think it’s funny so I just stare at him blankly. Even if
I was in a good mood I don’t think I would have found it
funny.
“Is that your daughter?” he asks pointing at Quinn’s
picture on my desk. No it’s my monkey.
“Yes that’s my daughter.”
“Aww she’s really cute. How old is she?”
Wait, did he come here just to make small talk? Seriously
I’m not in the mood for this. But he’s my new manager,
there’s no choice but to be polite.
“She’s six.”
“Oh I also have a five year old daughter and a thirteen
year old son.” He gloats. Uh..nobody asked you - I think
to myself.
“Lovely.” I say.
“We can-” I cut him off.
“Look Mr Lint I don’t mean to be rude but I kind of
like..have work to do. Can we continue with this
conversation some other time maybe?” I say opening my
laptop so that he can see I want him to leave me alone.
He looks at me briefly.
“I like you. I think you can help me with something and I
can help you with something.” He says before walking
out.
I have no idea what’s this something he’s talking about
but I’m glad he’s gone.
I try to focus on my work for the rest of the day and I
decide to try Jason again before leaving the office. Now
his phone is off, it just goes straight to voicemail. This
whole thing is unsettling.

I drove to my kid’s dance school. I found Sli there so I

asked her for Loyiso’s numbers cause I figured maybe he
would know what’s going on or help me get hold of
Jason.

I know I’m not supposed to used my phone while driving

but right now I don’t care. I call Loyiso. It turns out Jason
is Jo’burg. Yeap he just packed up and left without
informing me. The only thing I’m thinking right now is
what if he doesn’t come back. I had to cut the call with
Loyiso because I started crying.

“Mommy are you happy?” Quinn asks. I hate crying in

front of her but I can’t help it.
“Yes nana I’m happy.” I wipe the tears with my hand.
“Stop crying cause I’m going to cry too.” She says but it
triggers more tears. Now I can’t even see properly so I
pullover.
“Stop crying.” She keeps repeating but she’s looking out
the window. Get it together Bulelwa, there’s probably a
good explanation why he hasn’t called you. And he will
come back. I take a few deep breaths before starting the
car again.
“Do you want to sleep with mommy today?” she’s the
only comfort I have.
“If I sleep with you, you won’t be sad?”
“No I won’t baby. You make me happy.” I give her a
crooked smile.
“Okay I’ll sleep with you.”
“Okrrr.” I say. She giggles. It’s a thing she says instead of
‘okay’, she heard it from KUWTK (that’s her favourite
show by the way) and before I knew it, I started saying it
as well. She has that effect on me. We’re like best
friends.

We drive to John Dorris to get dinner cause I’m not

cooking. I just want to get home, help my child with her
homework and just spend some time with her. She’s my
sanity.

After taking a bath we chill in my bed in our matching

onesies just talking and laughing and taking selfies and
those silly snapchat videos, they Quinn’s favourite.
She ruined it by asking when is Jay coming over. I’m
really trying to get him off my mind. I don’t know how
my life went from normal to this. I don’t even know what
to call it. I’m dealing with an annoying new manager, I
have to convince my mother to accept the one man I
truly love and that same man just went MIA on me. I’m
just not used to dealing with such things, that’s why I
didn’t want a man in my life in the first place.

I look at Quinn; she has fallen asleep on me. I thought we

were having a slumber party? Oh well I understand. With
all that running around all day plus dance lessons, she’s
bound to be knocked out.
I post some of the pictures we took on Facebook and
Instagram. I immediately get a notification on Facebook.
Oh guess who commented? So he has access to his
cellphone but he didn’t see the need to call me or return
my calls? Okay we’ll see how this will end. I ignore his
comment and I put my phone on silent.
I’m actually pissed off. How dare he?

Waking up, I expect to find tons of missed calls from

Jason but nothing. Not even a text. Wow. That instinct
again. I’m trying to ignore it but it’s there. There’s
something telling me he has another woman in Joburg.
And usually my instincts are never wrong. Or maybe I'm
the other woman?

My body aches from all the kicks and punches I was

getting at night. My child is a ballerina by day and a
wrestler by night. I am never sleeping with her again, no
thank you. I don’t know how many times I’ve said that
though.
---
Three days later and still nothing from Jason. I’m at my
office trying to bury myself with work. I’ve decided I’m
not going to chase after him anymore. He got what he
wanted from me and now he’s gone. I’m actually more
mad at myself than at him because I knew this would
happen but I still gave my all to him. I gave him my body,
my soul..I opened up my heart for him which I had
managed to protect for so many years. What was I
thinking anyway? Trusting a rich man from Jo’burg that
can get any woman he wants and the fact that I’ve only
known him for such a short while? He flew me to places
I’ve never been only to let me drop on a cold hard
ground. As much as I’m hurt, I won’t sit here and feel
sorry for myself because I put myself in this situation. My
heart is broken but I feel like I saw this coming but still
fell right in his trap. The best thing to do right now is to
just forget about him, it won’t be easy I know but life
goes on. This is another mistake I will learn from.
*
*
*
*
Editing chapter 7...
Thank you to everyone who actually take their time to
comment or react after reading, I appreciate you guys so
much ❤ and the silent readers (if there are any) I
appreciate you guys as well, all love 💕
Chapter Seven

It’s 1 pm and I’m supposed to go for my lunch but I’m not

really hungry so I carry on with work.

My desk phone rings. I pick up.

“Bulelwa hello.”
“Yhe wethu you have a visitor.” says Anathi our
receptionist.
“Ngubani? (Who is it?)”
“He says I can’t tell you it’s a surprise. And he’s carrying a
very expensive gift.”
She whispers on the last part of her statement. She’s so
nosy. I already know who it is. Why is he here? Did he
come here to finish me off because what he’s already
done isn’t enough? Can he be that cruel? I was slowly
starting to forget him but now I’ll have to start back in
square one. I hate him!
I would tell her not to let him in but I don’t want my
colleagues to know what is going on with my personal
life.
“Okay bring him in.”
“Okey-dowkey.” She replies.

I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in.” I say. He walks in with a huge smile on his
face but it disappears immediately. I think he notices the
look on my face. I have one of my stanky faces on, it’s the
pissed off look.
“Hi babe.” He says. I don’t reply. He’s carrying a bunch of
flowers and a Prada shopping bag. Mxm.
He leans over my desk for a kiss but I turn my face away.
There’s guilt written all over his face and I can tell he
doesn’t know what to do next.
“I brought you these.” He says handing me the gifts.
“You think your little gifts will make everything okay?” I
say coldly.
“Well at least now you are talking.” He says. I swear I will
slap that smug off his face.
“Jason I haven’t heard from you since Monday. Today is
fucking Thursday! You don’t return my calls and I had to
find out from your friend that you flew to Jo’burg. Have
you any idea how humiliating that it? I was worried sick
about you. And you think it’s funny?” I can feel my tears
want to betray me. I’m conflicted because as much as I
hate him right now, I’m also happy he’s here, he’s safe.
“No babe I can explain.” He says.
“Explain what?”
“There was an emergency I needed to attend to at
Moonlight – one of the hotels. I drove to Durban and I
took a flight that was available at that time. I was in such
a hurry I even left my phone at my house. I’m sorry.” He
explains.
“Don’t lie Lisebo!” I throw my pen at him. “If you left
your phone how did you log on Facebook?”
“Hey I’m not lying. I was using my laptop.” He says
calmly. I keep quiet. He still could’ve found a way to
contact me and let me know what is going on.
“Is everything okay at your hotel?” I ask. Even though I’m
mad I still care.
“Yes it’s all sorted. May I have that kiss now?’ he smirks.
“No.”
“Can you at least accept my ‘little gifts’?” He looks at me
with begging eyes.
I snatch the shopping bag from his hand and I see a black
leather Prada handbag. You don’t even have to ask, this
handbag screams expensive. I take it out of the paper
bag to look at it properly. I need the price of this bag
because wow it’s breathtaking, but the price isn’t there.
“Whatever.” I say putting it back in the paper bag. I still
haven’t smiled.
“You like it?” he asks. I love the bag for goodness' sake
but I have to contain myself.
I shrug still giving him a blank stare. He scratches his
head, now I want to laugh cause useyadabukisa. I’ve
never seen him like this.
“Let me put that in water.” I say getting up to take the
flowers from me.

I take the flowers from him and attempt to walk away

but he grabs my waist from behind and he kisses my
neck.
“Jason stop..” I say.
“I’m sorry baby.” He says still tracing kisses on my neck.
He’s already defeated me, he knows my weak spots, now
I’m longing for him.
I turn around and I wrap my hands around his neck and I
kiss him. Damn I just realized how much I missed him, he
tastes delicious I’m even moaning.

I hear someone clearing their throat ruining the moment.

You have got to be kidding me! Did this annoying white
man just enter my office without knocking again? I’m
screwed.
---
So I got a lecture from my manager on how I should
respect the workplace and always keep it professional
blah blah blah. Well it was kind of his fault too cause had
he knocked he wouldn’t have seen that. Technically, we
were both on the wrong. At least he never told Clare
about it, lol I’d be unemployed right now. When I told
Jase he got me in trouble he simply said “Screw them.
You don’t need their money anyway.” As if!
My mother also informed me she’s not going to make it
to Quinn’s show tonight and honestly, it was a huge relief
for me cause with Jason there, I know she was going to
cause unnecessary drama and I don’t need that. My
sister is here for the weekend so she’ll be meeting Jason.

It’s already 5 pm and the show starts at 6 pm. We’re just

waiting for Jason to come and pick us up, we’re driving
with him.

Quinn is already wearing her ballet outfit. She’s just so

adorable, I wish she could stay this age forever. Babalwa
tied her hair into two pom-poms with pink ribbons.
“Mommy when are we leaving?” she asks for the 100th
time. She’s getting restless.
“Just now, we’re waiting for Jay.”
“This Jay better be cute otherwise..thank you, next.” says
Babalwa. Lol thank you next? But he’s my man though.
“He’s cute right mommy?” Quinn says before I can even
say anything. What the hell? I look at Babalwa and we
both start laughing.
We hear a knock on the door, as usual my daughter runs
first to get it. By the way Jason has his own gate remote
to this complex now.
“It’s Jay!” she shouts. “Can we go now?"
“You’re here. This is my sister Babalwa.” I introduce my
sister to him.
“It’s Bebe.” says Quinn. This child.
“Hi Bebe pleasure to meet you.” He says.
“I know, it’s always a pleasure to meet me.” Babalwa
replies. At least she’s smiling or blushing?
“Okay if we don’t leave now we’ll miss the whole thing.” I
say grabbing the keys and Quinn’s bag with her hip-hop
routine outfit.

He came with the Range Rover today. Good choice. He

opens the backseat first and buckles Quinn before
opening my door. I get a text from my sister.
‘he drives a Range??????? I give him a ten.’
Haha she has no idea. I look back at her and I shake my
head. She shrugs.
“Baby are you excited for tonight?” I ask looking at
Quinn.
“Yes captain mom!”
I’m captain mom today?
“Okay captain daughter.”
“I’m mouse.” She corrects. I don’t know why she’s calling
herself a mouse but okay.
“Okay mouse.”
Jason rests his hand on my thigh as he’s driving. I hear
Babalwa clearing her throat and he removes it
immediately.
“No PDA with me around please.” She says. Sigh.
Now we’re just listening to the mouse singing. It’s so
quiet and a bit awkward. I’m praying that Babalwa
doesn’t say anything rude or disrespectful to him.

My child is a legit star. No seriously bias aside, she shines

in everything she does.
She never ceases to make me a proud mom. I almost
cried again watching her tonight but I managed to hold
them tears back. I don’t want my sister to make fun of
me in front Jase.
Now this heavy mouse has fallen asleep in my arms. I
guess we didn’t give her enough sugar today.
“Can I help you carry her?” Jase offers as we’re walking
to the car.
“No it’s okay.” She’s not too heavy. I realize he’s still
holding that lollipop Quinn made him hold.
“Babe you know you can throw that away.” I say pointing
at the lollipop with my eyes.
“What if she wakes up and asks for it?”
Dude seriously?
“No she won’t.” I say rolling my eyes. He shrugs and
tosses it in his mouth. I’m stunned.
“Jase you’ve been holding that thing for like an hour, I’m
sure it’s contracted all sorts of germs and you put it in
your mouth?” I can’t believe him.
“I won’t die.”
“But still, it’s gross.”
Again, he shrugs.
“This is a really fancy car, what job do you do?” Oh
Babalwa! She was behaving so well until now.
“Babalwa don’t be rude, that is none of your business.” I
answer for him.
“Uh..if he’s dating my sister I think it is my business. So
what job do you do Mr Jay?”
“I have businesses. And you can just call me Jay.” He
says.
“No. Mr Jay sounds better.” She insists. He laughs.
Jason was supposed to take us out for dinner but since
Quinn has fallen asleep we bought takeaways cause we
can’t really leave her alone in the car.

We get home and I ask Jase to remain in the car while I

take Quinn inside.
“Goodnight Mr Jay! And thanks for Dinner.” Says
Babalwa before she jumps off the car.
“No problem.” Jase replies with a smile.
“Girrrrl your man is all sorts of fine! How did you get
him?” she asks as we get in the house.
“Excuse me? I’m a fine lady myself.”
“Wanky!” she rolls her eyes.
“I’m going to say goodnight to Jase I’ll be back just now.”
“Yeah go, I know you’re going to have a quickie in the
car.” she says. This child. What does she even know
about quickies?

“My sister thinks we’re going to have a quickie in the

car.” I say as I get in the car. He laughs.
“Do you want a quickie?” he says with a smirk.
I give him the serious look, he laughs.
“You know there’s something about your sister which
reminds me of Kamo. And crazy enough, I see a
resemblance too.” Kamo is his sister, the one in London.
“Maybe you just miss her too much you’re even seeing
her in everyone.”
“Probably.” He sighs. I can tell his siblings mean a lot to
him.
“When is she visiting?” I ask. He smiles.
“She’s coming next weekend to meet you.” He says
taking my hand.
“To meet me?” I think I didn’t hear properly.
“Yes. She’ll be in Joburg on Thursday but we’ll fly on
Friday after work.”
My stomach turns on the word ‘fly’. Don’t laugh but I’ve
never been on a plane before. And honestly I thought he
had forgotten about me going to meet his family this
coming weekend.
“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” He says grinning.
“It’s not funny. I’m just not good at meeting people, I
become very awkward and the thought of going on a
plane makes me sick. It’s just too much.”
“You just be yourself. They’ll love you and I’ll be right
next to you on the plane.” He assures me kissing my
hand.
“Don’t kiss my hand with that blue mouth, why did you
eat that lollipop you look ridiculous.” He checks himself
on the rearview mirror.
“What are you talking about? I look cool. It’s like lipstick.”
He pouts his lips. I laugh. He’s crazy.
“You want to taste these blue lips?” He leans in.
“No! I am not kissing you.” I move my face away. But I
am feeling a little naughty. I give him a mischievous
smile.
“Why you looking at me like that?” he asks amused. I
don’t reply, I just start unbuckling his belt and I pull down
the zip.
“Bulelwa what are you doing?” he asks raising his
eyebrows. That stupid grin is still stuck on his face.
“Sucking your dick.” He looks shocked by my answer. I
don’t care, I continue.

Now I’ve never done this before but by the way he’s
groaning, I think I’m doing it right.
He reclines his seat back to give me more room. I
continue doing my thing. I look up at him, he has his eyes
shut.
“Can you hold my hair please.” This weave is getting on
my way.
He grips my hair a little too tight but I let him be. I
continue sucking his massive dick, I’m even twirling my
tongue like how they do in those porn videos (Ugh don’t
act all innocent, we’ve all seen porn.) but I’m stopped by
a bright light beaming from outside the car. I think we
noticed it the same time cause he lets go of my hair and I
sit up.
“Shit!” he says covering his manhood with his hand.

My neighbour Mr Watson is standing by the window with

a torch in his hand.
“Oh oh Bulelwa I didn’t see you. I thought this chap was
one of the intruders.” He says still pointing his torch at
us. I bite my bottom lip. This is just embarrassing.
“Sorry if I disturbed you but we’ve had too many
intruders in this place, you’ve got to keep a watch.” He
continues.
As if he was going to do something if it really was an
intruder. And why is he still up at this time? Don’t people
his age sleep at like 7 pm or something?
Jase and I are both quiet.
“Okay you kids enjoy yourselves. But don’t hesitate to
call me if you see suspicious faces around here. I will sort
them out. We’re tired!” he says sauntering away like
some super-hero.

As soon as he gets inside his house, I look at Jase and we

both burst out laughing.
“Bad timing old man!” he says. I laugh even harder.
“He’s very nosy. He’s probably still peeking through the
window as we speak” I say. Man I don’t remember the
last time I laughed so hard.
“Babe I’ve been meaning to tell you, you have such a
hideous laugh, if I were you I’d never laugh again.”
What?
“That is so rude.” I say. I can't believe he just said that.
“I’m just being honest my love.”
“Okay let me get inside because you’re being excessively
rude right now.” I say opening the door.
“But I love you with your ugly laugh.”
You see he’s still mocking me. I jump off the car.
“No goodnight kiss babe?” he says.
“Kiss your honesty.” I close the door and I scurry inside
the house. I’ve been laughing my entire life, he doesn’t
think I know that I have an unattractively loud laugh?
There was no need of pointing it out.

I find Babalwa still watching t.v.

“I didn’t know saying goodnight takes a whole hour.” She
says with her eyes fixed on her phone.
“You won’t believe what just happened outside.”
“What?” Now she’s looking at me.
“I was… Ugh nevermind.” I can’t tell my little sister I just
gave my boyfie a blow-job, it would just be wrong in so
many levels. She talks like an adult I sometimes forget
how old she is.
“Where’s Quinn?” I ask instead cause I remember I left
her on the couch.
“I put her in her pajamas and put her in bed.”
I always knew under that bitch act lies a sweet girl.
“Thank you.” I say walking to the kitchen to get wine and
I walk back to the living room to settle on the couch.
“What are you watching?”
“I autotuned the Real housewives of Beverly Hills, they’ll
start just now. Can I have some wine too?”
“Just one glass, but don’t go telling your mom I gave you
alcohol now.” No I’m not a bad sister, wine is good for
your heart ask your doctors. And one glass won’t do any
harm.
I don’t know how but I’m the one who ended up drinking
one glass and she finished the whole bottle which
knocked her out on the couch lol. I will wake her when
I’m done with this episode.

“No no please…”
I turn my gaze to her. I didn’t know Babalwa talks in her
sleep. Or maybe it’s the alcohol?
“Please stop please..” she continues. This is just creepy.
It’s like she’s pleading with someone to stop whatever
they’re doing.
“No Kabelo please.. for how long is this going to
continue?” she says. I think she’s crying in her sleep. It’s
so weird. And who the hell is Kabelo?
“Babalwa!” I shake her.
“Hmm?”
“Get up you’re having a bad dream.” I say still shaking
her. She opens her eyes and she looks around the room.
“What happened?” she asks trying to sit up.
“You fell asleep on the couch go to bed.”
She looks at me, I think I see tears in her eyes but she
gets up and she rushes to the bedroom. Weird!

I switch off the lights in the whole house and I pop in

Quinn’s bedroom to give her a kiss before going to bed.
---
There’s really not much to do today. I’m not going to
church and it’s raining outside, typical Sunday. But I have
to go to the salon to change my hair and nails. Quinn
needs to do her hair too. Her mixed afro is too big it gets
frustrating in the morning when I dress her for school, it’s
better if it’s plaited. I’ll drive Babalwa home later. And
speaking of Babalwa, I need to chat with her about last
night. She was acting really strange and I can’t help
thinking there’s something up. Or maybe like me, she
can’t handle her alcohol.

After a quick shower I run my child a bath and I find

Babalwa in the kitchen drowning herself with a bottle of
water.
“Hey are you okay?”
“I’m fine just exhausted.” She says. We can hear Quinn
singing in the bathroom.
“Can you tell your daughter to shut up I have a
headache!”
“Hey..she didn’t say you must drink last night, let her
be.” I defend my child.
“Whatever!” she says rolling her eyes.
“Babalwa who is Kabelo?”
She chokes on her water.
“W-what?” she asks with her eyes all out.
“The person you were dreaming about last night. You
were talking in your sleep and you called out his name. Is
he your boyfriend?”
“What? No he’s not my boyfriend.” She denies.
“Then who is he?” I don’t believe her.
“I don’t know B, we always dream about random people
we don’t know. What else did I say?” She’s a bad liar. I
can just tell she knows this Kabelo guy.
“You were begging him to stop whatever he was doing.” I
shrug.
“Oh I have absolutely no idea what was that dream was
about.” She says. She’s not convincing. I don’t know why
she’s hiding it, it’s not like I’ll bite her head off for having
a boyfriend. She’s a teenager, I understand.
But I just hope they’re not sleeping together, that I’m not
okay with. She’s still a baby. I know you probably thinking
‘says the girl who got pregnant at sixteen’ but hey, I’m
coming from a good place here. I don’t want my sister or
my daughter to make the same mistakes I made.
“I hope you’re not dating someone old enough to be
your father, trust me those relationships do not end
well.” I warn. She just looks at me.
“Anyway I need a huge favour from you, promise me
you’ll say yes.” I say.
“Dude I can’t just say yes, what is it?”
“Well can I trust you with my house for the whole
weekend?” I know I’m taking a huge risk here but it’s not
like there’s someone else I can ask.
“Let me get this straight, you want to leave me with your
house for the whole weekend? What’s the catch?” she
smirks.
“There’s no catch but mom can’t find out I’ll be away and
you have to stay with Quinn.”
“Where the hell are you going?” she raises her eyebrows.
“I’m going to Joburg with Jason. We’re leaving on Friday
afternoon.”
She’s quiet. It’s like she’s contemplating.
“Fine. Will you leave your car keys too?”
“Soze!” She’s crazy.
---
This week seemed way shorter than other weeks, it’s day
have been dreading the entire week. I don’t think I’ll be
able to get any work done today. I’m so anxious and
stressed out, I’ve even thought of faking an illness.
What will his parents think of me when they find out I
have a child? I love Quinn with all my heart; she’s my
pride and joy but I wish I could just hide the fact that I
have a child. I mean just for now.

I got a new weave and I also did just plain white coffin
shape nails. I always do the coffin shape, I just change
colours.
Mr lintvelt walks in my office as I’m debating in my head
whether I should actually do this or not. Maybe I should
keep my door locked, I’ve had enough with this man. He
walks in and closes the door behind him. Okay.
“Hey can I have a chat with you?”
Why is he still asking cause he’s already grabbing the
chair to sit.
“Sure.” I close my laptop.
“Bhulelwa I want to help you.” He says gazing at my
chest. The fuck?
“You want to help me?” I fold my arms in front of my
chest. He brings his eyes back to my face.
“Yes. I don’t know how to put this so I’ll go straight to the
point. Uhm.. I’m sure you’re not planning on being a sub-
editor your entire career right?”
“Uh..that is true.” I’m not sure where he’s going with
this.
“Let me help you climb the ladder quicker and easier.”
He says lowering his voice.
“What do you mean?” I’m still confused.
“I can help you start up your own magazine sooner, isn’t
that what you want?” he’s just speaking in a low voice
now. Is this some sort of secret?
“How will you help me?” I don’t really need his help but
I’m curious.
“Bulelwa I’ve been in this industry for quite a while now,
I know people who can make things happen. So would
you allow me to help you?” for the first time he
pronounces my name correctly.
“Why would you want to help me? What’s in it for you?”
I don’t trust this man.
“You can help me with a little something too but you
don’t have to worry about that for now.” He says
dismissively.
“Mr Lint I’m grateful that you want to help me but I don’t
need short cuts, I’m willing to work my way to the top.”
“Trust me it won’t be easy with you being a woman of
colour so please allow me to help you.” He pleads. Why
is he so eager to help me? And he better not bring race
into this.
“I can’t-” he cuts me off.
“Look, I’ll give you time to think about it and you can get
back to me.” He says getting up and he walks out. Like I
already don’t have a lot on my plate. I don’t need time to
think about it. As much as his offer is tempting, there’s
something about that man I don’t trust. And what’s this
little something he wants me to help him with in return?
---
What do you even wear on the first dinner with your
man’s parents? I’ll just pack up at least four different
outfits I can choose from. I won’t lie and say I’m excited, I
am not! This is just nothing but nerve wrecking. There’s
also one more thing stressing me out, telling my
daughter I’m going away again.
“Vuyelwa!” I call out.
“Yes Bulelwa.” She says walking in my bedroom. I’ll hit
this child.
“It’s mommy.” I correct.
“I know.” She says. I shake my head.
“You so silly.”
“No you are silly!” she says pulling her face at me.
“I’m not!”
“Are too!”
“I’m not!”
“Are too!”
Okay we can do this all day.
“Baby listen, mommy has to go away for work.” I lie
making a sad face.
“Okay, I’ll stay with gogo?” she asks. This child doesn’t
care about me, I expected her to be sad. How can she say
okay just like that with no care whatsoever? I’m hurt.
“No dimple face. You will stay here with Bebe.”
“Okrrr.”
She helps me pack while were waiting for Babalwa. I’ll
drive to Jason’s house so I can leave my car there, I don’t
trust my sister. It’s funny cause I trust her with my
daughter but I don’t trust her with my car.
---
Whenever I see Babalwa in her school uniform she just
reminds me of myself back then. I used to wear the same
uniform too. I was always neatly dressed and I used to
wear glasses. I was one of those kids who are labelled
‘uyazitshela’ by people who have never even attempted
to speak to me, their judgment was just based on my
looks. Which is very unfair if you ask me. And I was also
dating the cutest guy in school (my accidental sperm
donor) so every girl envied me until that baby bump
appeared.

“When are you leaving?” Babalwa asks climbing on the

kitchen counter but there’s a chair right there. I can’t
believe I’m leaving my house with this person.
“Get off the counter Babalwa.” I order. She rolls her eyes
before jumping off.
“First of all, I have rules for you.” I say.
“Dude, are you serious?” she rolls her eyes again.
“Yes I’m serious. I don’t want any boys here cause trust
me I will find out. Quinn has to be in bed by 9 pm and
don’t give her sweets or anything sugary after 6 pm. And
one more thing, don’t touch my wine.” I give her a
reprimanding look.
“Absolutely.” She says.
“Good. I have to leave now otherwise we’ll miss the
flight.” I check the time on my wrist watch.
“Wanky.”
“Shut up.” I say walking away.

I give her some money for emergencies before kissing my

baby goodbye. Now I’m sad. But she on the other hand
doesn’t seem bothered that I’m leaving.
“The devil wears Prada.” Babalwa comments when she
sees my handbag. I ignore her. By the way I googled the
price of the bag and I found out it’s R52 600. I almost
died. It’s officially the most expensive thing I own besides
my car.

I get to Jason’s house and I find him and Loyiso there. I

try to act cool cause the last time I spoke to Loyiso I was
an emotional wreck.
“Babe you’re late, do you want us to miss our flight?”
Jason says. Honestly I wouldn’t mind if we missed the
flight.
“Hello boss lady.” That’s Loyiso. At least he has some
manners to greet unlike this annoyingly handsome man I
call my boyfriend. I get mesmerized by his dreamy looks
every time I see him.
“Hi Loyiso.” I give him a warm smile.
“Baby can’t we take a road trip? Imagine, we can spend
undivided time with each other, we’ll take turns to drive
and we can even have sex stops. It’ll be fun!” I don’t
want to go on that plane. They both laugh.
“Nice try MyHlali but there's no way I'm spending more
than 4 hours on the road. Trust me you’ll be fine. Loyiso
will drive us to the airport, we can have sex in the
backseat then?” he smirks. He’s stupid.

He takes my luggage from my car and loads it in his Q7.

“Okay I think we’re ready to go.” He says.
“Where are your bags?” I’m confused.
“I have everything I need at my house in Jo’burg. Let’s
go.” I didn’t know he has another house in Jo’burg, I
thought we were going to stay at one of his hotels.
We both get in the back seat. And no, we’re not going to
have sex with his friend in the car. We’re holding hands
and we keep stealing glances at each other, it’s like we’re
communicating through looks if you get what I mean.
The flight wasn’t as bad as I expected. However, we did
experience a few turbulents, I thought the plane was
going to crash, I literally squeezed his hand and
whispered to him “we’re going to die.” He just laughed
and told me to relax.

We lend at the airport and there's a black Rolls-Royce

waiting for us. He hired a Rolls-Royce? Okay now.

I become speechless when I see his house. Like no ways!

I thought nothing was going to beat the house in PMB
but this! It’s like 10x better. We went from Top Billing to
MTV Cribs.

We drive inside the gate and as if I’m not stunned

enough by the house, I see 5 really fancy sport cars. I
don’t even know the names of these cars, it’s those cars
you only see on American reality shows. I only know the
Lamborghini.
“Jason exactly how much money do you have?” the
words just roll out of my tongue against my will. I
shouldn’t have asked that. He looks at me and he smirks
before answering “enough to take care of you.” This man
thinks everything is a joke mxm.
“Do you have any dogs here?” I ask before I even get off
the car.
“No there are no dogs my love.” He gets off the car and
comes to open my door.
“Why did you hire a Rolls-Royce when you have all these
cars parked here?”
“I did not hire it, it’s mine as well.”
I rest my case!

We walk inside this gigantic triple storey house and

nothing could have prepared me for this. I’m sure only
people like Oprah stay in houses like this. No seriously
I’m not exaggerating. I’m walking around like a small kid
at a museum. Am I dating the black Bill Gates maybe?

We walk past an open bedroom which looks like a

nursery. Hold up! I reverse and I stand by the door way.
“And then?” I ask. I thought he said he doesn't have any
children.
“That’s a nursery for our baby.”
“But it’s decorated in blue and brown. What if we have a
girl?” It’s really beautiful by the way. Notice I didn’t argue
with him when he said ‘our baby'.
“Well I’m hoping my first born is a boy but there’s a
second one for a girl.” He says opening the door
opposite.
There’s another one decorated in pink and grey. Shame
he really wants a baby hey? But I can’t help him at the
moment.

We finally get to his bedroom. Now this is what I imagine

heaven looks like. Everything is white and just soothing. I
can already see us making the most passionate love in
here.
He has two walk-in closets, one is empty and the other
looks like a men’s retail store. And there’s a Jacuzzi in the
house? This is all alien to me. Is this a house or a hotel?
“Babe we don’t really have much time, they already
waiting for us at home.” Heh? We’re going tonight? I’m
not ready.
“What should I wear?” I ask nervously.
“Anything you want to wear just not your shorts.” He
smirks. He thinks this is a joke? Can’t he see I'm freaking
out here?

I go for a quick shower while still trying to come up with

a proper outfit. I don’t want to be too formal but I also
don’t want to be too casual. By the way this bathroom is
just…I don’t know what to call it, let’s just say I wouldn’t
mind eating in here.

I decided on wearing blue jeans with a white top and soft

pink stilettos with a matching soft pink bicker jacket. I
put on a red matte lipstick, it’s my favourite and I tied my
hair up loosely.
“You look beautiful.”
“Thank you.” I give him a half smile.
“Okay we better get going otherwise I’ll rip those clothes
off you.” He says smacking my butt.
Why is he so relaxed and happy when I’m about to die
here?
I’m quiet the whole drive to his parents’ house. He keeps
saying stupid stuff to make me laugh but it’s not helping.

Okay at least his parents’ house is a normal double

storey house, nothing too fancy. I take a few deep
breaths.
“You don’t have to look so nervous, they don’t bite.” He
smirks. I give him a look that says ‘shut up’.
He takes my hand and he leads me to the house. I’m
saying a little prayer in my heart asking God for strength.
He doesn’t knock, he just walks in.
“You’re supposed to knock.” I whisper to him. I see a
beautiful lady who looks about my age, I’m assuming it’s
Hlelo. She’s having a conversation with someone I cannot
see. Now I thought I understood Sotho but the way
they’re speaking I can’t catch a thing.

“Hlelo.” He says. She turns her head.

“Lisebo!” her face immediately lightens up and she
comes to us looking very excited.
“Hi Bulelwa.” She says giving me a tight hug. I was going
to go for a handshake but okay.
“She’s stunning.” I hear her whisper to Jason but I
pretend as if I didn’t hear that.
“I’m Hlelo by the way. You can come this side they’re all
in the dinning room.” She says leading the way. I can
hear people talking very loudly.
“Guys look who’s here!” she says.
I see the other two sisters, the parents are not there,
thank you God.

“Finally Lisebo! I was starting to think I flew all the way

here for nothing. So this is the mysterious Bulelwa?
Hmm. You seem young.. but you know what? I get to
have a sexy and very stylish sister in-law so it’s okay by
me. Oh my Gosh I love your nails-” she says taking my
hand. I’m assuming it’s Kamo because she has a bit of an
accent. She seems like the type that talks and never
stops. She and my sister, birds of the same feather. And if
she reckons I’m young for her brother what will the
parents think? She just made me more nervous.
“Okay Kamo you can talk about nails later.” The other
sister says pushing Kamo aside.
“Hi I’m Reneilwe.” She says giving me a hug too. I see this
is a family of hugs.
“Mom!” she screams suddenly. “Get your ass down
here!” she continues. They all laugh. I’m just stunned. Is
this how they talk to their mother?
“She’s imitating mom when she calls her.” Hlelo explains.
“Why are you screaming like that? Are you crazy?” the
mother says walking down the stairs. Omg she looks like
my man. You can tell she was gorgeous when she was
younger, well she’s still beautiful but you get what I
mean.
“Look! It’s your daughter in-law.”- Kamo.
“Aowa Lisebo you want to give me a heart attack? Is this
really her?”
She’s standing on the last step with her mouth open. I
don’t know what to make of this. My palms are sweating.
I also realize I haven’t said anything since we got here,
I’m just smiling awkwardly.
“This is her.”- Jason.
“Haaa Bulelwa baby don’t just stand there, come give
Mme a hug.”
I bite my bottom lip before walking over to her. She gives
me a warm hug and a kiss on my cheek, err okay.
“Where is dad?” Jason asks.
“Your father just went out and I’m not sure when he’ll be
back so we’ll eat without him. Is the food ready chef
Hlelo?”
She takes my hand leading me to the dining table. Jason
opens the chair for me.
“Thank you.” I say. He sits next to me and he kisses me
on the cheek. In front of his mom? What is wrong with
him? The others sit around the table as well. Hlelo is
sitting next to me on my right.
“Let’s close our eyes Bulelwa will say grace.”- Jason.
Oh no he can’t put me on the spot like that. I give him a
look but they already joining hands so I take his hand and
Hlelo’s hand and I say a short prayer.
“Short and sweet.”- Kamo.
I really wish I was the type that talks a lot when they’re
nervous. I’m just awkward.
“I really like your accent, how long have you been staying
in London?” I ask. I’m just trying to make conversation.
“Oh it’s been about 10 years now. I actually went there
to study when I finished high school but somehow I
ended up getting more than just a degree, I got a
husband and a son too so it’s kinda hard to come back.”
She explains. I heard she married a white man.
“Don’t act like you want to come back we all know you
love it there.”- Hlelo
“Nobody asked you princess Hlelo.” She rolls her eyes
before turning her attention back to me.
“So what job do you do? Or are you still studying?” she
asks. Still studying? Do I look that young?
“No I work for a magazine company.”
“She’s the Senior sub-editor.” Jason adds for me.
“Oh beauty and brains.” Says his mother.
“Shut up! That’s like my dream job!”- Reneilwe. The
whole time she was just engrossed on her cellphone.
“Really? It’s a nice job but don’t you want to be the
editor-in-chief or something higher?” I suggest.
“I don’t know, all I know is I want to work in a magazine
company you know like Kate Hudson in How To Lose A
Guy In 10 Days?”
Haaa! That movie sells you dreams, our job ain't that fun!
“At least you have a vision. My sister who is your age tells
you she just wants be rich and famous.” I say. They all
laugh.
“How many siblings do you have?” asks Hlelo.
“Just one. And I have a daughter.” I decide to just put it
out there.
“Oh!” his mother widens her eyes.
“You have a child? But your body-” that’s Kamo but I cut
her off.
“Well it was six years ago so-” I’m also cut off by
Reneilwe.
“You have a six year old child? Exactly how old are you?”
she asks.
“Reneilwe!” Jason gives her the look.
“What? I was just asking, askies.” She frowns.
“No it’s okay. I’m 23.” I say with a smile. They all quiet.
I’m assuming they doing their calculations in their heads
and probably judging.
“What’s her name? Next time you come here you should
come with her, I love kids.” Hlelo breaks the ice.
“Her name is Queen. Yo’ she’s literally the coolest kid
ever, she would get along with Johnny.” Jason answers
for me. He’s still getting my child’s wrong. Johnny is
Kamo's 4 year old son.
“It’s Quinn babe.” I correct him. They all laugh.
“Sounds the same to me.” He says. It’s amazing how his
mother is so quiet in all this. I’m secretly grateful the
father is not here.

We carry on talking about random things. I’m a bit

relaxed now. Kamo gets up and she starts clearing the
table.
“I’ll help you.” I say getting up too.
“They don’t need any help. You come with me, I need to
have a word with you in private.” Says his mother getting
up and she takes my hand. I give Jason a look that says
‘help me’ but he just shrugs. What the hell?
..... To be contined.

I had to slit the chapter into two posts cause it's a bit
long but the continuation is coming shortly ☝🏻
.....Continuation

She takes me to one of the bedrooms upstairs and she

closes the door. I’m literally shaking.
“You look so nervous baby I’m not going to kill you, sit.”
She points on the bed and she sits next to me.
“You are such a gorgeous young lady Bulelwa and you
know what they say about pretty girls...” She pauses. Oh
no. I’m so tempted to bite the back of my hand.
“Don’t worry I’m not going to use that stereotype against
you because you seem like a lovely girl. My son finally
managed to bring a lovable woman home.” She says with
a smile.
“Thank you.” I say politely but I can’t help wondering
exactly how many woman has he brought home.
“And I don’t think he has ever loved someone the way he
loves you. The way he looks at you, you don’t even have
to ask if he’s in love with you.” She continues.
“I love him too.”
“I can see that.” She smiles. I blush.
“You know my child love is such a beautiful thing
although it has its ups and downs.”
Okay where is she going with this?
“That’s true.” I say.
“Now I’m going to be candid with you. My son is not
perfect and I’m sure you aren’t too, no one is. But I want
you to promise me one thing.” She says taking my hand. I
nod indicating she should go on.
“Promise me you’ll never turn your back on him. Promise
me you’ll stand by his side and support him no matter
what.” She says looking straight into my eyes. Is she
obliquely making me say vows here? Her son hasn’t even
put a ring on it, not that it bothers me though. I’m not
ready for marriage.
“I will Mah. I love him.” I assure her.
“Thank you. That is all I wanted to say.”
“And thank you for inviting me to your beautiful home.” I
say.
She just smiles and gets up.
“Let’s get out of here before I get in trouble with your
man.” She says. I chuckle.
“You can join them downstairs.”

I find Jason sitting by the piano in the passage.

“Can you play?”
“No I can’t.” He says pressing one key with his index
finger.
“He’s messing with you. Play something for her Lisebo.”
Says Hlelo.
“Please.” I say. He looks at me briefly.
“Okay but I’m not doing this alone.” He says before
positioning himself properly.
He plays a tune. I think I’ve heard it before but I can’t
really tell what song it is until Reneilwe, sitting on top of
the piano starts singing. Oh it’s Jackson 5 ABC. And
before I know it they all join in like they rehearsed the
song. It’s unbelievable, they all have amazing voices. I
feel like I’m watching an episode of Glee. So Jason was
fooling around that time we sang a duet in the shower? I
thought he was a horrible singer like me. Now I’m utterly
bombed.
“This is so cute, did you guys plan this or what?” I ask
stunned.
“No this was our childhood song, we always sang it
together growing up so everyone knows their part.”
Hlelo explains.
“Wow! And you all have great voices, how is that even
possible?”
“Well we got it from our Paps. Mom can't sing to save
her life.” Says Kamo.
“It’s so bad, it’s sad.” That’s Reneilwe. They laugh.
“And Jase I thought we were going to be horrible singers
together!” I sulk pushing him playfully. They laugh again.
He starts playing the piano again. “See I really couldn’t
sing…I could never really sing…what I couldn’t do was
sing…..” He sings. I can’t help laughing. His sisters are
laughing as well. I really love this side of him that I’m
seeing right now.
You can tell family is everything to him.
He shows me around the house telling me about his
family and explaining all the pictures on the walls. We
ended up leaving really late. And strangely, his father still
wasn’t back, not that I’m complaining though.

He throws himself on the couch and I sit next to him. We

should be going to bed. He puts his arm around me and I
rest my head on his chest with my arm around him as
well.
“Remember how you said my sister reminds you of
Kamo?”
“Yeah and I still think they look alike.”
“Well you’re not the only one who is crazy, I see the
resemblance too.” I honestly do.
“It’s really weird. Now that you’ve met my family who do
I look like?”
“I don’t know, you look like a monkey.” I tease.
“And you look like a cow.” He laughs.
“What?” even though I started this game I feel offended.
“A sexy cow.” He continues.
“It’s not funny.” I say folding my arms in front of my
chest and I sit up.
“You know it’s funny.” He starts tickling me.
“Uh-uh babe no tickling!” I try to push his hand away. I
just don’t like being tickled.

He starts kissing me, now I’m not pushing him away.

Instead I get on top of him with my knees on either side
of his thighs and we continue kissing.

We ended up having the wildest sex in the living room

and finished the session in his bedroom. He was doing
positions I didn’t even know were possible. He was
spreading me, turning me around, making me bend, all
sorts of bizarre things I didn't know my body could do. He
even made orgasm five times. At one point I had to stop
him cause he was hitting it too hard and it was painful.
Since I know I get very loud, I’ve figured biting on
something is better than screaming like a whore. I was
biting his arm, my arm, his shoulder, my bottom lip and
anywhere I could get my teeth on.
I’m sitting on the bed with my legs folded like a pre-
school kid wearing his t-shirt. I’m looking at the teeth
marks on my arm.
“You bit me too.” He says walking in the bedroom
carrying the bottle of water I asked for and the clothes
we left downstairs.
“Sorry.” I feel embarrassed.
“You should just let it out, I love listening to your
moans.” He says with a wry smile. I just shake my head.
I’m so exhausted you’d swear I’ve just ran a marathon.
I’m so unfit yet my man owns a gym. Maybe I should
start taking an advantage of that.

We get under the covers and we cuddle in silence.

“Lisebo?”
“Hmm?” he replies.
“Are you asleep?”
“No.”
“Thank you.”
“What for?” he asks.
“For loving me and for making me the happiest woman
on earth. I love you.”

I love him so much, I think I’m going to cry. By loving me

the way he does, he has taught me how to love as well
without him even realizing it. I had built this barrier
around my heart and all these years different men have
tried to breakthrough it without any success. And no, not
just any men, some of them were eligible guys that ladies
would die to be with. I remember this one specific guy
Khaya - that’s his name. He literally ticked all the boxes
on my list of things I want in a guy. He was good looking,
smart, smelled good and he was successful and had
money (not that money matters to me in a relationship.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being spoiled like every other
woman but I would never date a guy because of his
money.) What I’m trying to say is, there was nothing foul
about Khaya or at least none that I knew of. But my heart
– that picky bitch was like no babes this is not what I’m
looking for. I remember we went on 3 dates and I even
kissed him after our 3rd date but felt nothing. At that
point Sli even started questioning my sexuality because
she also thought the guy was perfect for me. We ended
up being good friends actually but I haven’t spoken to
him in a while because he has a girlfriend now and I don’t
think his girlfriend likes the idea of me.

Now back to this man lying next to me. It took him just
one date and I had him in my house the next day kissing
me on my couch. It’s like my heart knew veraciously
what it wanted and it wasn’t going to settle until it found
exactly that.
“You make it easy for me to love you.” He says before
kissing the top of my head and he holds me tight. I hold
him tight too. I want to stay in his arms forever.
---
Waking up in Jason’s arms is literally the best feeling in
the world, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I break out of
his embrace careful not to wake him. I go to the
bathroom to freshen up before heading to the kitchen to
prepare breakfast for him.

I bring the food upstairs but he’s still fast asleep. I put the
tray on the nightstand. I don’t want to wake him, he just
looks so cute and serene. But the food will get cold. I kiss
him on the lips. He opens his eyes slowly.
“Morning babe I made breakfast for you.”
He smiles but you can tell he’s not fully awake.
“What did I do to deserve you?” he says sleepily.
“Everything. Now get up before the food gets cold.” I kiss
him again. I just can’t get enough of him.
He sits up and I put the tray on his lap.
“Thank you. It looks good.”
I hope it tastes good.
“It’s my pleasure.” I smile.
“Sit here.” He taps on the bed next to him and I do so.
“Mm this is really good.” He says after taking his first bite
and he continues eating and feeding me as well.
I just remembered something, I should check on the kids!
I was going to call last night but I totally forgot. This man
is making me forget about my child now? I feel like such
a bad mom.

I reach for my phone on the pedestal and call Babalwa.

It’s ringing but no answer. I try again.
“Hmm?” she says. I think she was still sleeping.
“Hey are you still sleeping?”
“Yes Bulelwa it’s a Saturday! What do you want?” she
sounds annoyed.
“I was just checking up on you guys, is everything okay?”
“You really woke me up for that?” she says before
hanging up on me.
Rude.
“Can you believe her? She just hanged up on me.” I’m in
disbelief. He laughs.
“Teenagers.” He says shaking his head.
“I have something for you.” He says putting the tray on
the nightstand and he gets out of bed. Oh no, no more
surprises and expensive gifts please.

He walks in his closet and comes out with a plain caramel

box.
“Here.” He hands it to me.
“What is it?” There could be a snake in there; I know he’s
capable of doing something like that.
“Open and see.” He says. I take the box and I open it
nervously. To my surprise I find a beautiful black
shimmery dress. It’s Versace? I mean Ver-sa-ce!
“Jase you can’t keep buying me these expensive things.”
I’m just speechless.
“Yes I can. You’re my woman, it’s my job to spoil you.”
He says and kisses my lips. I smile.
“Your love is enough.” That’s the honest truth. “And
where am I going to wear a fancy dress like this?” I add.
“You’ll wear it tonight. I’m taking you somewhere.”
“Where?”
“Can’t tell you. It’s a surprise.”
I can’t with his surprises.
“Clue?”
“Uh..you’re the brightest start in my sky.” he smirks.
“What? Is that a clue?” I laugh. He’s so stupid.
“Can I try it on?”
“Sure, it’s your dress.”
“Okay close your eyes.” I instruct. He does.
“How did you even know my dress size?” I ask taking off
his t-shirt that I was wearing.
“How many times have I undressed you woman?” he
says. I just smile.

Whoa I look like I’m going to attend the Oscars or

something like that. I can’t describe how exquisite this
dress is. The whole back is open with a sweetheart
neckline showing just a glimpse of my cleavage. I don’t
really have big boobs, I’m an A size. And it hugs me on
the right places showing the shape of my body perfectly
and it opens just a bit from the knees down.
“You can open your eyes now.” I say. His jaw drops.
“You look like a goddess. In fact you are a goddess, my
goddess.” He says like he’s in disbelief. I smile and I do a
twirl for him before walking to stand between his legs
and I wrap my arms around his neck. He’s sitting on the
bed so I’m a bit taller than him.
“It’s the most beautiful dress I’ve ever owned. Thank
you.” I say before kissing him. I just peck him on the lips
but he pulls me in for more. His hands are at the back of
my thighs. I know hey? We can’t keep our hands off each
other.
I can already see where this kiss is heading so I pull back.
“Let me take this off before you rip it off me.” I know
how he gets.
I step away from him and I take the dress off carefully
and I put it back on the box. He pulls me back to him and
starts kissing me again.

I’m not really in the mood for sex right now and my
vagina is still recovering from last night. But I’ll just suck
it up and give it to him. He deserves it right?
We ended it in the shower. And no I didn’t bite him this
time, he wasn’t too rough like last night, it was just
pleasurable.
---
We’re at Sandton City to buy shoes I can wear with my
new dress. Well we got more than just one pair of shoes.
He took me to all the designer boutiques I never thought
I’d ever set my foot at. From Burberry to Dolce & Gabana
to Loius Vitton just to name a few.
He also got Quinn and I timberlands, the same as his. And
regardless of my protests, he got my sister an iPhone 8.
He says no one should be carrying a Samsung at this day
and age – another shade thrown. She’ll die.
Now I get why he said we needed to come to Joburg for
‘proper shopping’. I could really get used to this. His
businesses must be doing really good then cause this
man doesn’t even check the prices, it’s like he doesn’t
care.

As we’re wandering around the mall holding hands, I

notice a woman staring at us. I think she’s in her late
twenties. She’s a bit chubby and very light in complexion,
lighter than me but very pretty. Okay she’s walking
towards us.

“Oh look it’s my husband.” She says with a smile when

she’s close enough. Okay even if she has a crush on my
man, she can’t be calling him her husband in front of me.
That’s just rude and disrespectful.
“I see you went and found yourself a baby to babysit and
keep you busy.” She continues. I look at Jason, his face is
hard. What is going on here?
“Oh nana you look surprised. Your sweetheart didn’t tell
you he has a wife?” she says. Is this woman crazy?
“You don’t have to listen to this rubbish, let’s go.” Jason
says pulling me by hand. “No what is she talking about.” I
yank my hand from him. The lady laughs.
“So I am right, he’s been lying to you. Well him and I are
married baby.” She says lifting up her left hand to flaunt
the huge stone on her finger. I feel my heart beat picking
up it’s pace.
“We are not together Katlego!” he says with a cold and
firm tone. So he really knows her? I was hoping this
woman was a mental case.
“We aren’t? Why haven’t I received the divorce papers
then?” she says. Divorce papers? Breathe Bulelwa.
“Now let me tell you baby girl, this man is not who you
think he is. We were so in love like you guys are right
now, or so it seemed. But he decided to leave me
because I’m infertile. You see…this lavish lifestyle you’re
living right now, I’ve been there too. Enjoy it while it lasts
because very soon he’ll get bored with you and-” Jason
cuts her off.
“That’s enough Katlego! Let’s go Bulelwa.” He says
pulling me by my hand.
“Yeah run away Lisebo. Run away like a coward that you
are!” the woman shouts after us. I can’t even utter a
word, I just feel numb and sick all of a sudden.

I rush to the car ahead of him. After loading the stuff in

the boot he gets on his seat. He can’t even look at me.
He opens his mouth to speak but I raise my hand
stopping him.
“I’ll ask you one question Jason and I want you to answer
me honestly. Are you married to that woman?” I’m
breathing unevenly. He clenches his jaw.
“Bulelwa I can explain.” He says. Not the answer I was
looking for. I was hoping he’d say no.
“Explain what? Are you married to her!?” I shout. He
keeps quiet for a moment.
“Yes I am.”
*
*
*
*
Again, thank you guys so much for reading. Now this is
where the story starts to get interesting, stay tuned for
chapter 8.
Chapter Eight

My heart literally sinks to the pit of my stomach. It’s like

everything just shut down. It’s like the walls of the world
just caved in on me. You know when your heart struggles
to keep a steady beat? How could Jason do this to me?
“You made me your side-chick Jason? You made me a
home wrecker? Is that how little you think of me?” my
voice is low but full of rage and hurt.
I have never been this hurt in my life. It feels like there’s
a wolf eating on my chest, just tearing its way into my
trembling heart. That’s how bad it hurts. I can’t stop the
tears.
“Babe please don’t cry it’s not like that.” He says taking
my hand but I pull away.
“Don’t touch me. You’re a liar!” I put my elbows on my
thighs resting my head on my hands and I start weeping.
I can’t believe this is really happening. I was the happiest
woman alive just a few hours ago and now this!

He puts his hand on my back I think comfort me but I

shrug it off. So now he’s just sitting there, I think he
doesn’t know what to do next.
“Can you drive please?” I say still crying. He starts the car
without saying anything. My face is just buried in my
hands. The more I think about it the more I cry. I should
have known he was too good to be true.
“Baby please.” He says before pulling over and he comes
to my side. He wraps his arms around me.
“I said don’t touch me Jason!” I cry trying to break out of
his embrace but he holds firmly preventing any
maneuver and he continues holding me and I finally give
in. I’m usually a silent crier but right now I'm just wailing
in his arms, you’d swear someone died. It’s ironic cause
he's the reason I’m crying yet I’m crying in his arms.
“I’m sorry.” He keeps saying.
We get to his house and I go straight upstairs into his
bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth. When I
come out I find him sitting on the bed. He looks at me
but I don’t say anything I just change into my sleepwear.
“You sleeping already?”
I don’t reply.
“What about the plans we had for tonight?” he says.
“Take your wife.” I say without looking at him.
“Bulelwa please can we talk about this. I’m begging you.”
“Can you leave me alone please.” I say calmly. He keeps
quiet.
“Can I bring you something to eat at least? Aren’t you
hungry?”
Really dude? Food is the last thing on my mind right now.
“I said leave me alone Jason!” I scream and I start crying
again! I can’t help it. I’ve always been an emotional
person.
“Okay..” He says raising his hands and he walks out. This
just had to happen in Joburg where I don’t even know
anyone, so I'm stuck in this house with him.
I get in bed and I continue crying silently. There are so
many things going through my mind. Like he left his wife
because she couldn’t conceive? How can he be so cruel?
As a woman I understand why she was rude, she’s angry.
If I were in her shoes I probably would have done worse.
No woman should be put through that. What if he’s just
with me because he’s sure I can conceive? It all makes
sense now. I understand why his mother had that
conversation with me. She knows. His whole family
knows. I feel so stupid and humiliated. I knew from the
beginning that this guy was out of my league but I still
gave my all to him. And it all makes sense why he never
pulls out when we’re having sex. He’s secretly trying to
get me pregnant and then he’ll go back to his wife when
his mission is done. That’s why he hasn’t divorced her
and that’s why he freaked out when I told him I got an
IUD. He’s basically using me. And I was so stupid and
blinded by love that I didn’t even see it happening right
under my nose. Wow.

I reach for my phone and I call Sli. I need to talk to

someone.
“Bitch.” She says as always.
“Um..are you busy? Can we talk?”
“Yeah sure, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” I say in a hoarse voice.
“You don’t sound fine. What’s up?” she sounds worried.
“It’s..it’s Jason.”
“Wenzeni? (What did he do?) What happened?” I think
she’s panicking.
“I..well I found out he’s married. I’m so stupid I know.” I
cry. Silence.
“Sli?” I can hear her breathing but she’s not saying
anything.
“I have a confession to make.”
Not now Sli please I think to myself.
“What?”
“I..I kind of knew he’s married. Please don’t be mad at
me.”
I cannot believe this!
“Sli you knew about this and you thought I didn’t deserve
to know?” I’m more hurt than angry.
“No I can explain.”
What’s up with these people thinking explaining will
make everything alright?
“No I don’t need your explanation.” I say before dropping
the call. I’m hurt yet again by someone I trusted. She
calls back but I ignore it. I can’t believe her.

I wait for my phone to stop ringing so I can call my sister.

“Hi B.” She says.
“Hey can you give Quinn the phone please.” I don’t even
have the energy to ask her why she hung up on me in the
morning.
“Sure.”
I hear her screaming my daughter's name and she
whispers something before giving her the phone.
“Hello mommy.”
I feel like crying all over again.
“Hi nana, how are you?” I say.
“I’m okay when are you coming back?”
“I’m coming back tomorrow, you miss me?”
“Yeah I miss you.”
I smile to myself. At least there’s someone who genuinely
cares about me.
“I miss you more baby. Have you been behaving?”
“Yeah.”
“If you’re being a good girl I’ll bring you a surprise okay?
Tell Bebe too.”
“Okay mommy.”
“I love you.”
“I love you.”
She hands the phone back to Babalwa.
“Is everything okay?” I ask.
“Ya everything is fine dude stop stressing you’ll age
before your time.” She says.
“There better not be any surprises when I come back
tomorrow.”
“Uh..what time are you coming back?”
Now that she’s asked me that question I can’t help
thinking she’s up to something.
“Around 5 pm.” I lie. The flight is at 1 pm. I want to catch
her in action.
“Okay cool. See ya. And you better bring me something.”
She says before dropping the call.

I must have dozed off somewhere in my thoughts

because I’m woken by Jason getting in bed next to me.
I’m a light sleeper.
“Can you go and sleep in another room please.” I can’t
sleep with someone’s husband, especially now that I
know about it.
“Aowa baby you can’t do that.”
“Okay I’ll go then.” I say getting up.
“No no stay. I’ll go.” He kisses my shoulder before getting
up really slowly. I don't know why he's even hurting, he
deliberately put me through this and now he wants to
play the victim? Mxm.

I check the time on my phone, it’s 5 am. I didn’t sleep a

wink, I kept waking up every 5 minutes and at one point I
even wished he was next to me to hold me. His arms are
the most comfortable place.
I get up and I go for a quick shower. I know he’s just in
another room but I miss him. I miss him holding me,
touching me, kissing me and most of all, I miss him
making me laugh. But he’s another woman’s husband, I
have to respect that. It hurts but there’s nothing I can
really do about it. The thought of them making love and
trying for that baby makes me cringe.

It’s still very early and I’m sure he’s still sleeping. Not that
I care. Ugh who am I kidding? I do care. I had to stop
myself from walking into the bedroom he’s sleeping in on
my way downstairs.
I settle on the couch to watch some cartoons but I’m not
really watching I’m just staring at the t.v blankly, my
mind is too occupied. I won’t bother myself making
breakfast and cleaning for a man who has a wife.

I heard movement on the second floor so I know he’s up.

At this point I don’t even know where our relationship
stands. I have to officially end things with him. I can’t be
a mistress, second best? No. My pride and morals don’t
allow me to.
I see him walking down the stairs. He’s just wearing a
white shirt and jeans but he looks so damn sexy! Okay
why am I admiring someone’s husband?
“Good morning.” He says with a crooked smile.
“You know you could have asked me nicely.” I say. He
looks confused.
“You could have asked me nicely if you wanted me to
carry your baby or be your surrogate or whatever but not
hurt me like this.”
“What are you talking about?” he still looks confused.
“Uh drop the act Jason. I know your plot. You just want a
baby from me and then you’ll go back to your wife.” I
say.
He walks over to sit next to me and he takes my hand
looking straight into my eyes.
“Bulelwa MyHlali Nzimande I love you and you only. It
was never my intention to hurt you. I was going to inform
you about Katlego last night, it was just bad luck that we
bumped into her at the mall.” He says. I remain quiet.
That doesn’t change the fact that he is married.
“You see Katlego and I were married for only two years. I
moved to
Pietermaritzburg after our first year of marriage. I was
hoping that maybe she’d forget about me and move on
with her life. I don’t love her and I never did.” He
continues.
“You don’t love her but you are married to her? Why are
you still lying?” honestly I’m tired of doing this.
“I’m married to her or rather was married to her because
in my culture it is believed that when a man reaches his
thirties he should be married and ready to start a family.
My father used to say I am not a man enough until I bring
a wife home. And when Kamo got married it put a lot of
pressure on me because as her older brother I’m
expected to take that big step first. People don’t
understand that you can’t just take that step when you
haven’t met the one. Contrary to my feelings I decided to
marry Katlego to please my parents and just to get
everyone off my back. She was the woman I was dating
at that time. I thought I was eventually going to learn to
love her as time went but after a whole year of trying I
realized it’ll never happen. I just couldn’t. I couldn’t look
at her the way I look at you. I couldn’t hold her the way I
hold you. I couldn’t make love to her the way I make love
to you.” He explains. I have never seen him so
vulnerable.
“Why don’t you divorce her?” I know I sound a little
insensitive right now.
“Like I said, when we got married I thought I was going to
learn to love her so we went into a community of
property marriage. If I divorce her she’ll take half of
everything I own.” He says and sighs.
“So then what are you going to do?”
“I have my lawyers working on it. I’m willing to pay
spousal support every month but she can’t take half of
everything I worked really hard for.” He explains.
I don’t know why but I believe him. I believe everything
he has just said. Maybe I’m oblivious but I believe him.

“You know Jason ever since you came into my life

everything just completely changed, for better or worse?
At this point I don’t know but what I do know is that I
love you and I’m willing to make this thing between us
work and I just hope the feeling is genuinely mutual. I
know my heart is on the line right now but I feel like it’s
worth it, you’re worth it.” I’m getting emotional. He puts
his hand under my chin so I can look at him.
“Trust me I love you more than you’ll ever know. I would
never intentionally hurt you. You’re my person.” He says.
A smile reaches my lips.
“My mission is to put that beautiful smile on your face.”
He continues.
“Are there anymore secrets or surprises I should know
about?” I feel like I need to ask this question just to be
safe. He keeps quiet for a moment.
“No my love.”
I believe him.
“She said you left her cause she couldn’t conceive, were
you trying for a baby?” I ask. He looks down.
“Yes we were. I thought maybe a baby would bring love
in the marriage but I’m grateful that baby didn’t happen
cause it would have forced me to stay in that marriage
and I wouldn’t have met you.”
“She called me your baby.”
We both look at each other before cracking with
laughter.
“It’s not funny, she’s so rude.” I say.
“She’s just bitter my love.” He says.
“I don’t blame her you hurt her, you deluded her.”
“Can we not talk about her please?” he says. I just look
down. He knows what I’m thinking.
“I won’t hurt you I promised.” He says.
“I trust you.” I say still looking down. He pulls me in for a
hug and kisses the top of my head.
How I missed being in his arms. I look up at him.
“I missed you.” We both say at the same time. He rubs
his nose on my nose. I can’t stop smiling. I peck him on
the lips but he pulls me in for more.
“Not now Jase. Where did you put the things we got
yesterday?” I ask. He chuckles.
“It’s upstairs. I thought you forgot about that.” He smirks.
“Are you crazy? How can I forget? You just didn’t give me
a change to get excited. Come on.” I say getting up and I
take his hand leading him upstairs.

Whoa! He has set up the empty closet. He put the shoes

on one side and the handbags on one side, it’s so cute. I
didn’t realise we bought so many shoes and handbags.
He has also emptied my suitcase and put the clothes in
there.
“When did you do this?”
“In the morning while you where watching your
cartoons.” He smirks. “This is your closet, we still need to
get more stuff to fill it up.”
“What’s the point? Kalok we’re leaving today.”
“You can leave your things here.”
“You think I’ll leave all my expensive things here for it to
contract dust?” he must be crazy.
“No you can use it whenever we come here.”
“Soze! (Never!) I’m taking my all my new things with
me.” I say firmly.
“Okay..” He says raising his hands. I look at him and I
smile.
“Come here.” He says pulling me by my hand to him and
he wraps his arms around me. We start kissing. He moves
back towards the bed and he lends on his back. I get on
top of him and we continue kissing. He pulls up my top
but I stop him. He always gets carried away.
“There’s no time for that, the flight is at 1 pm
remember?”
“I know.” He says but he flips us over and gets on top of
me instead. Does he ever listen?

We’re making love but it’s just physical pleasure, there’s

no connection or emotion involved like normally.
“Babe I’m sorry I love you.” He whispers still pounding on
me. So he feels it too? Maybe we should have waited
before jumping into this.
---
He let me take his G-Wagon for a few days. I just hope I
don’t crash it or something. There’s no way I can afford
to repair it.

I find Quinn sitting with her legs on the couch and she
has her pink headphones on connected to her iPad.
“Baby.”
She looks up and her face instantly lightens up.
“Mommy…” she says. It’s like she’s more relieved than
happy to see me.
“Surprise.. Come give me a hug.” I say. She takes off her
headphones and she runs to me. I give her a tight hug.
“Mommy please don’t leave me again.”
Okay what did Babalwa do to my child, she’s not her
normal bubbly self.
“I won’t baby. You okay?”
She nods.
“Where’s Bebe?”
“She’s taking a bath.” She says. I’m surprised the house is
clean and everything seems to look the way I left it.
“Were you behaving?”
“Yeah you got me that surprise you promised?”
“Yes but help me carry these to my room first.” I give her
one of my bags.
We bump into Babalwa on the passage wrapped in a
towel.
“You’re back? How was Joburg?”
“It was uneventful.” I say walking in my bedroom with
Quinn. She helps me unpack. I took all the new stuff and
left the old in Joburg.
“Look!” I say taking out the Timberlands Jase bought for
her.
“Eww these are boys shoes.” She says pulling her face.
That’s the same reaction I got when I bought her black Dr
Marten boots.
I had to return them to the store and take the pink ones
for her to believe they actually girls shoes.
“No they’re not. Look mommy has them too.” I show her
mine.
“We’re twinnies!”
“Bebe said she’ll take me and Kuchi to see Beauty and
the Beast.” She says randomly.
“She did? That’s nice of her, did you ask her?” I know
Babalwa wouldn’t just offer to take the kids to the mall.
“No I saw her naked in the bedroom with Kabelo and
promised not to tell you.” She says. I freeze. I think my
ears are deceiving me.
“Who is Kabelo?”
“Bebe’s friend he came to visit yesterday.” She says. I’m
fuming right now. Like wtf? How dare she?
I storm out of my bedroom to Babalwa’s bedroom, my
spare room is basically her room now. I don’t knock I just
open but it’s locked. So she can lock the door when she’s
getting dressed but she can’t lock when she’s busy with
her boyfriend.
.... Chapter 8 to be continued.
I'm actually trying something different on the
continuation, writing in Babalwa's point of view. It's quite
emotional, bring a box of tissues 😢
...Continuation
Babalwa's POV

Gosh this woman is really back, can someone give me a

good reason why the hell is she banging the door? What
for? Whether she knocks lightly or bangs like a police, the
outcome will still be the same – I’ll open either way so
why waste your energy? Sometimes I just don’t
understand the things my sister does but that’s her.

“Dude did someone die?” I ask opening the door. She

gets in closing the door and leaning against it. Oh
something is definitely up, look how she’s looking at me,
the psycho is unleashed.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” she asks. Oh wow
look at that, you stole the words right out of my mouth, I
was about to ask you the same question.
“What? What did I do?”
“Stop acting dumb, you know what you did!”
If I knew I wouldn’t be asking, would I? Oh snap.. She
can’t possibly be mad about the wine I drank and filled
up with water? To my defense, the bottle is dark so I
thought she wasn’t going to notice.
“Dude it’s just wine, don’t be dramatic.” I almost roll my
eyes but I remember she’s on psycho mode.
“I’m not talking about the damn wine, how dare you
bring your boyfriend to have sex in my house?”
No! I feel the whole world tumbling right before my eyes.
Why does God hate me so much? Isn’t what he’s putting
me through enough already? All this long I had managed
to hide my naked truth so well, it can’t come out now. I
don’t want to be judged. I have to deny it. I’m strong and
I can do it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I say looking
down hoping it’s convincing enough.
“Stop lying cause you’re making me angrier. You don’t
respect me hey? And why are you even having sex?”
“Whoever told you is imagining things.” I wish it really
was an imagination, someone’s imagination.
“Okay let me call Mama, maybe you’ll be able to tell her
the truth.”
“No B please don’t!” she can’t tell mom, she can’t tell
anyone or my whole pretentious life would be over. Even
I am scared to face my truth.
“Then you better start talking!”
“Okay I did it okay? But do you think I had a choice?”
“What choice?” she asks.
“I…” No I can’t do this. I walk to sit on the bed and I
weep. This is all my fault. I allowed this to happen to me.
I feel embarrassed and ashamed. What will mom do
when she finds out? She’ll probably blame me as well,
that’s if she believes me. I don’t think anyone will believe
me that’s why I have been quiet about this ever since it
started. It’s better dying slowly inside without anyone
knowing than facing the humiliation and being judged by
everyone.
Look at twiddle blondie standing there like she’s seeing a
snake giving birth – I don’t blame her, I’ve never cried
like this in front of her, in front of anyone. Now let’s hear
her ask the most dumbest question in 5… 4... 3…
“Are you okay?”
Bingo! My lovely sister never disappoints me. I try to get
it together, I can do this. I’ve always done it so I won’t fail
now.
“I’m sorry for disrespecting you and your house, it’ll
never happen again.” I say wiping my tears.
“No you don’t mean that, what is going on Babalwa?”
Smh, my sister is so blonde, another person would have
figured it out right? I remain quiet.
“Babalwa talk or I swear I will call mom.”
“It doesn’t matter Bulelwa, this is all my fault anyway!”
these fucking tears better go back to where they come
from or else..
“What are you talking about?”
“Why do you care? I know you won’t believe me so why
do you care?”
“Believe you?”
“He forced himself on me Bulelwa!” I confess to
someone for the first time. I thought they said talking
about it or telling someone helps but I just feel like she’s
already judging me or blaming me, maybe she doesn’t
even believe me.
“No, that is not true!”
Wow. She really thinks I’d make up something like this?
Opening up to someone you trust is the first step to
healing – they say. So what happens when that person
doesn’t believe you? My own sister doesn’t believe me,
how will someone else believe me?
“I thought as much.” I say attempting to walk out but she
grabs my arm pulling me back.
“No it’s not that I don’t believe you, it’s just that I don’t
want it to be true. What exactly happened?” she says.
“It’s not what happened, it’s what’s been happening!
That man has been having non-consensual sex with me
for a while now.”
“Babalwa!” she widens her eyes. “Who is that man? Your
boyfriend?”
She’s having her blonde moment again, forgive her.
“He’s not my boyfriend B I hate him.”
Look at her, she’s still lost.
“Bulelwa Kabelo is not my boyfriend, has never been my
boyfriend, well sort of but we were never official. I met
him at a local shisa nyama where one of my friends stays.
He was the sweetest guy I’ve ever met. We exchanged
numbers and started talking literally every day, we
became friends. So uhm.. This one time we were chilling
in his car, he started touching me in a way that made me
uncomfortable. I spoke to him about it and he seemed to
understand so I thought he was genuinely a nice guy. I’d
visit him at his place and we would just chill like good
friends, I actually enjoyed his company. And then this
one day – the day I’ll probably resent for the rest of my
life, I don’t know what happened cause we were chilling
like we’d normally do then he forcefully started kissing
me.” I have to pause to swallow the lump forming in my
throat. “I..I pushed him off and kept telling him no but he
never stopped. Not only did he..did he rape me, he took
my virginity and that was just the beginning of this
horrible nightmare I call my life!” I start crying
uncontrollably. I really tried to act strong but I can’t
anymore. Opening up about this feels like I just ripped off
the band-aid that I had placed on my unhealed wound. It
hurts, I just exposed my bruised soul.
Bulelwa is now crying as well.
“For how long has this been going on Babalwa? Why
didn’t you speak to me or anyone?”
“It has been going on for like almost a year now. I was
scared of speaking up because he said if I told anyone he
would kill you and mom. I’d rather go through this
torture than having the only family I have being killed.
And every time he requests that I come to him and I
refuse, he threatens to get people to kill mom and I know
he can do it cause he’s crazy. And yesterday he told me
he was coming to fetch me, I don’t know how he knew I
was here – he seems to know my every move, I ignored
him and the next thing there was a knock on the door, I
don’t even know how he got through the gate cause I
didn’t open for him. I know all of this is my fault, I led him
on. I kept visiting him at his place..” I cry more.
"No it’s not your fault!” She places her hand on my back.
“Everyone thinks I’m this horrible bitch who doesn’t give
a shit but what they don’t know is, that’s my way of
hiding my emotions and my shame. I’ve resorted to being
a bitch because I’m scared of being vulnerable, I thought
maybe if I put on this feisty girl act I wouldn’t feel so
weak and powerless like I am right now. I’m also a bitch
because I’m angry. I’m angry at everyone. I’m angry at
the world. I’m angry at him. I’m angry at God for allowing
this to happen to me. But most of all I’m angry at
myself.”
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what else to say, I’m just
defeated. That night you called out his name in your
sleep, were you dreaming about it?’
“I have nightmares about it every single night. I can’t
even concentrate at school, my grades are dropping
drastically. I cry myself to sleep every night. I’ve even
tried killing myself a couple of times.”
“You tried killing yourself?” She widens her red teary
eyes.
“Bulelwa you don’t know what it feels like having
somebody reach inside to your soul, and force it to die
slowly. Have you ever had somebody grab your hand,
maybe playfully at first, but then held on just a little too
tightly, and for a moment you realize you’re not strong
enough to break free and just have to wait for your hand
to be released? It’s a common scenario. Imagine that
feeling, that moment where you realize you aren’t strong
enough to break free when that person grabs your wrist,
and imagine that feeling applied to your whole body.
Your arms, legs, voice, everything…becomes useless.
Your body isn’t even your body anymore. It belongs to
them. And not only your body, but everything you are is
exposed and ripped away from you. And there’s nothing
for you to do except wait. At some point, you stop
struggling, or maybe you never even could because
you’re paralyzed by fear. And you feel as though
anything in the world could be better than this. Even
death. Every second that passes feels like an hour – an
excruciating hour. When it’s over, when your body is
freed, you feel foreign in your own skin. Your body isn’t
your body anymore; it’s contaminated, destroyed. No
matter how many showers you take, you still don’t feel
clean. I hate looking in the mirror cause I’m disgusted
with myself..” I didn’t know I still have so many tears just
chilling comfortably inside my body, it's amazing.
“It’s okay, he’ll never touch you again I promise.” Bulelwa
says pulling me to her embrace and I cry on her shoulder.
“And don’t ever think it's your fault, it can never be your
fault no matter the circumstances. Whether you kept
going to him, whether you were wearing revealing
clothes, whether you led him on, he has no right to feel
entitled to your body. No remains no. It’s not your fault
that that pig can’t control himself. He will pay for what
he did.” She sniffs. The Bulelwa I know would be the one
weeping right but I just think she’s trying to be strong for
me.
“Did he use protection?” she asks wiping her tears. I
shake my head. That’s another thing I was scared to face,
I could be infected with some STD. She takes a deep sigh
shaking her head.
“Tomorrow during my lunch time I’ll take you to the
doctor so you can get checked up.” She says.
“What if I’m infected Bulelwa? Who will ever fall in love
with me?” Do guys even fall in love with girls that have
been abused before?
“Hey look at me. Remember how we used to call you
Barbie when you were little? Guess what? You still
remain that girl. Whether you’re infected – God forbid,
or not, nothing will change. I know nothing can erase
what happened to but it is possible to heal and finally
learn to recognized yourself again. You don’t deserve
what happened to you, it’s not fair, but I promise you
you’re going to be okay. It might take time but you’ll get
through it, we’ll get through it together. When the right
time comes you will find a guy who will love and accept
you for who you are. I used to feel the same way too, I
always thought no one will ever love me because I had a
baby at such an early age but look at where I am now.
You just need to focus on your studies for now,
everything will be okay. And trust me I know you have a
good heart despite that bitch act you put up.”
Such wise words coming from Bulelwa? I’m amazed.
“When did you become so smart Blondie?” I say.
“Okay the bitch is back.” She says and we both chuckle.
“Thank you Bulelwa. Thank you for this. Thank you for
not judging me. I know I don’t say this a lot but I really
appreciate you being my sister.”
She smiles and she pulls me in for another hug. Let me
just hug her back and make her happy.
“I love you.” She says.
“Okay this is getting weird.” I pull away. “Can you leave
me alone for a few minutes please.” I need to think. I
need to think about everything my sister said and maybe
I can take the first step to healing. Turns out they were
not lying, talking to someone really helps. I finally feel
like I’m not alone in this, I have someone who will help
me get through this.
“You sure you’ll be fine?” she asks. I nod.
---
I walk in my bedroom to find Quinn sitting on the floor
with her knees to her chest. She looks very upset. What
is wrong now?
“Hi nana.” I sit in the same position next to her.
“You mad at Bebe because of what I told you?”
Sigh.
“No I’m not mad at her.”
“But you were shouting at her.”
“No baby I wasn’t shouting at her we were just talking.”
She keeps quiet for a moment.
“I don’t like Kabelo.” She says.
“You don’t? Why?”
“He’s mean mommy.”
“Was he mean to you?”
She shakes her head.
“He was mean to Bebe.”
“Oh what did he say to her?”
“He told her they must go and sit in the bedroom and I
must stay in the lounge and watch tv but Bebe wanted to
watch tv too but he didn’t allow her. He’s mean.” She
explains.
“That’s very mean of him. What else did he do?” I know
I’ll get all the details, even the ones I don’t need. Kids
never lie.
“I heard Bebe crying in the bedroom and I went there to
tell her she can watch tv with me when Kabelo leaves
and I saw them naked and Kabelo said a bad word to
me.”
So she thinks all this is just about watching TV?
“What did he say?”
She shakes her head.
“You can say it you won’t get in trouble.” I assure her.
“He said fuckoff.” She says. Shame my poor baby; I can
just imagine the trauma.
“Was he hitting her because she wanted to watch tv with
me?” she adds. I don’t know what to say.
“Uh..yeah. He’s a very mean guy.” I say. “Do you want to
go get ice-cream?” I ask quickly. I’ve heard enough. And I
can’t sit in this house with miserable children. She nods.
They really traumatized my child. The Quinn I know
would have jumped and screamed ‘yeah!’ at the mention
of ice-cream.
I almost forgot about Babalwa's phone. There are just
too many things going on in my head.

She’s sitting on the bed with her earphones on staring

into space.
“I have something for you.” I say hiding the box behind
me.
“What?”
“Guess.”
“I don’t know, chocolate?”
“Wanky!” I say imitating her, she laughs a bit rolling her
eyes. I hand her the box.
“What? Oh my God! Is this for me?”
I knew this would cheer her up.
“Yes. You need to thank Jason though cause he bought it
for you.”
“Yeah of course I knew that. No offense but there’s no
way you could have afforded this.”
They bitch is really back hey? Smh. She looks at me for a
moment.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” She says.
“It’s okay. Now let’s go get some ice-cream, my treat.”
---
“And then this?” She says when she sees the car parked
outside. Quinn is also standing there with a frown on her
face.
“It’s Jason’s car. He just borrowed me for a few days.” I
say.
“He has a Range Rover and a G-Wagon?” she asks like
she doesn’t believe me.
“Yes. And other cars as well.” I say buckling Quinn in the
backseat.
“Okay your man is loaded, plus good looking? That’s like
every woman’s dream man.”
“And he’s married.” I blurt out unintentionally and I
realize it’s still bothering me.
“What? You’re a side chick?” she widens her eyes.
“What’s a side chick?” Quinn asks.
“No I’m not a side chick. It’s just..It’s complicated.”
“What’s a side chick?” Quinn insists. How do you even
explain that to a six year old?
“People who steal other people’s boyfriends and
husbands.” Trust Babalwa to tell that to a six year old.
“I’m Jay’s side-chick.” Quinn says. What?
“You are?” I ask.
“Yeah he was mommy’s boyfriend now he’s my boyfriend
too.” She explains. I can’t help laughing. So I share a man
with my own daughter?

Babalwa is so fascinated by this car; she’s pressing

buttons and opening things. She opens the cabby hold
and a pack of condoms falls out. It’s opened. My heart
literally drops. I can’t believe this.
“Oops. I see you’ve been getting it on in the car.” She
says. I don’t reply. My mind is not functioning properly
right now. It’s like someone just stabbed me with a sharp
knife through my heart.
“Dude you look like you’ve just seen a ghost. Relax, it’s
not like I didn’t know you guys are doing it.” She says.
I can’t seem to utter a word so I just carry on driving
looking straight ahead on the road. It turns out I’m not
just sharing him with my daughter; I’m sharing him with
another woman as well. Or women for that matter. I
don’t know what made me think he was different from
other guys.

We went to WakaBerry for some froyo and we also got

pizza for dinner. Babalwa noticed that I wasn’t okay but
she just thought it was about what she revealed to me.
Luckily I don’t have to drive her home today cause she’s
not going to school tomorrow, they have a study leave.

We get home and I give Quinn a bath before tucking her

in bed. A thought just came on my mind. I go back to the
car in the garage and I take out that pack of condoms. I
check the sell by date and it was two weeks ago. I
needed that confirmation before I jump into any
conclusions. He’s cheating on me. Or he’s cheating on
someone else with me. I won’t even cry. I’ve cried
enough tears to see my own reflection in them.

I get to my room and I find 7 missed calls and a text from

him.
‘babe I wanted to know if you arrived home safely why
aren’t you answering your phone? Please call me back.’
I don’t reply, I just put my phone on silent and I pull the
covers over my head and I start crying silently. I know I
promised myself not to cry but this hurts and my tears
have a way of betraying me. He has a wife, he's
cheating...honestly this is just too much for me, I've had
enough. I have to return his dirty car tomorrow.

I woke up with puffy eyes I had to use a concealer to

avoid all the ‘Are you okay’s at work. I didn’t even eat
breakfast. I feel hollow.

I haven’t spoken to Sli since I hanged up on her. But

there’s no way of avoiding her now, we’ll have to talk
when I go there to fetch Quinn this afternoon.
I’m trying to bury myself in work but I’m distracted by my
cellphone ringing. I don’t check the caller id, I just ignore
it. It rings again and to my surprise it’s Babalwa. I thought
it was that man.
“Bebe.”
“He’s coming Bulelwa! You promised me he’ll never
touch me again.” She’s crying. I immediately switch to
panic mode. I don’t know what to do.
“Okay calm down, where’s MaDlamini?” I don’t know
why I’m telling her to calm down because I am anything
but calm.
“She’s here.”
“Uh..I’ll try to get someone to come and stay with you.
I’ll call you just now.” I hang up.
I don’t know why but the first person that comes to mind
is Loyiso. I call him immediately and I ask him if he can go
to my place cause my sister is in trouble. He didn’t ask
too many questions, he just agreed so I gave him my
address right away. I also told him not to involve Jason. I
call Babalwa back.
“Okay Babalwa someone is coming there to stay with you
until I come back. He’s name is Loyiso. I’ll text you when
he’s at the gate. I’ll also try to leave work early.”
“Okay.”
“Now stop crying. You’ll be fine.” I don’t know how to
deal with this conundrum.
....To be continued.
*
*
*
*
To anyone who has been sexually assaulted who might
read this, I am very sorry you had to go through that. You
don't deserve it and it's not your fault. I hope you find
healing and always remember; you are not alone. I love
you. 💕
Guys one more insert and I'm done with this long ass
chapter.
...Continuation.
I think I’m being followed. There’s a black BMW with
tinted windows that’s been driving behind me since I left
work. I spoke to Mr Lint and he allowed me to leave after
tea-break. This car seems to be taking every turn I make
and it’s very close behind me. I’m literally shaking. I don’t
know what to do but I can’t drive to my house with
creepy car following me. I’m shit scared right now. And
it’s just sad that I can’t even call Jason when I need him
most. I don’t want to talk to him until I’ve figured what’s
my next move with him.

I decide to turn into Alexandra road so I can drive to the

police station but as soon as I make that turn the car that
was following me drives away in full speed. I pullover to
catch my breath. Who could that be? And what do they
want from me?

Driving to my place I keep checking the rearview mirror. I

think I’m just paranoid now. Who wouldn’t be though?

I find Loyiso and Jason's other friend Siya sitting

comfortably in my lounge drinking beer and watching
soccer. I don’t care I’m just grateful that they came. Siya
just greets me with a nod.
“Boss lady you’re back early, is this your usual time of
coming back?”
“No. I asked to leave early. Thank you guys for coming I
don’t know how to thank you.”
“No stress. Your sister told us about the psycho who’s
been stalking her, we’ll sort him out.”
So Babalwa just told them he’s stalking her?
“Don’t you think we should report him to the police
maybe?”
Siya chuckles.
“Nah those dogs are useless. They can tip them off easily,
leave him to us.” He says.
I’m grateful that they want to help but I don’t want to
put their lives in danger. This Kabelo character seems like
a menace.

I go to the bedroom to check on Babalwa. She’s laying on

the bed but I don’t know if she’s asleep or just laying
there cause she’s facing the other way.
“Bebe?”
“Hmm?” she responds.
“Are you sleeping?”
She turns around and I walk in to sit on the bed next to
her.
“How did he know you weren’t at school and that you're
here?”
“I told you he knows my every move.” She hands me her
phone. There’s a text conversation between them.
He texted her ‘I see you didn’t go to school I’m coming.’
She did not respond to that. He texted again asking
about the two men that had just walked in here. So this
guy is sitting somewhere watching my house, what the
fuck?
“Use the new phone, it has a new simcard right? I’ll keep
this phone for now in case he calls or tries to text you
again.”
“What are you going to say to him?”
“I don’t know, I’ll tell him to leave you alone.” I get up.
“I’m going to take a nap. I’ll take you home when I go to
fetch Quinn at Sli’s place.” I’m exhausted. This whole
thing is just draining on me.
“Leave the phone, I still need to transfer my contacts.”
I hand it back to her.
“You know Bulelwa I wish dad was still alive.” She says
just when I’m about to walk out. Tears immediately fill
my eyes but I quickly walk out. I feel her; I know dad
would have never allowed anything bad to happen to us.

I change into something more comfortable before going

to the kitchen to ask MaDlamini to make something to
eat for the guys.
“Boss lady I think we'll leave now since you’re home.”
Says Loyiso.
“No. You can leave when your game is over. I don’t mind
really.” I don’t want them to leave. I’m scared.
---
I’m woken by my phone ringing. It’s Jason.
“Hello?”
“Babe I’m at your work place but they told me you left
early, are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Why haven’t you been answering my calls? Are you at
your place?” he asks.
“I’m at my place but I’ll be driving to mom's place just
now.”
“Bulelwa are you sure everything is alright?”
“I said I’m fine. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I say coldly. He
sighs.
“Okay I love you.”
“I have to go.” I hang up immediately. The audacity rha!
The house is quiet so I’m assuming the guys have left.
After washing my face and brushing my teeth I walk out
of my bedroom. I find MaDlamini watching t.v.
“Mah.”
“Sisi your visitors have left. I wanted to wake you but
they told me not to disturb you.” She says. I give her a
half smile.
“It’s okay. Are you ready to leave? Can I give you a lift?” I
offer.
“I’d love that.” She says.
I drop MaDlamini at the taxi rank in town and I drive to
Glenwood to drop my sister off. I won’t even go inside. I
know Mama will make a fuss about the car I’m driving
and I don’t have energy for that.

I’m still very mad at Sli. If I had a choice I wouldn’t be

going to her place right now but I need to fetch my child.

To my relief I don’t find her there, the kids are with the
nanny. I’m not ready to deal with her. I quickly get my kid
and we head straight home.
Oh MaDlamini prepared dinner for us. What would I even
be without that woman? I’m really grateful for her and it
smells really good.

As I’m just about to step in the shower I hear the phone

Babalwa left with me ringing. It’s him. Now I’m not sure if
I want to actually answer. But it continues ringing so I
pick up.
“Hello.”
“Bitch your little games are starting to piss me off.”
“What do you want from my sister?”
“Oh it’s the older whore. Where’s my sweetheart?” he
says. Why is he calling me a whore? He doesn’t even
know me.
“You need to stay away from her.” I warn.
“And come to you?” he chuckles. “I don’t want you. You
have a baby, your pussy is loose. Hers is nice and tight
and..” I drop the call. I can’t listen to this. So people with
babies have loose vaginas? Maybe that’s why Jason is
cheating on me.

I get in the shower and I just let the hot water hit my
back while I let it all out. I thought my life was going okay
but now everything seems to be taking a turn for worse.

I walk out of the shower and before getting in bed, I

kneel down to speak to God about everything that’s
going on. I know in his word he promised that he will
never leave us nor forsake us.
---
As I’m driving my child to school I see that black BMW
behind me again. I don’t even know where it came from.
My heart starts racing and I’m trying to keep my
breathing steady.
I get to Quinn’s school but I don’t stop cause the car is
still following me.
“Mommy you passed my school.” She points out.
“I know.”
“Why?” she asks. I don’t reply. I’m shaking. My heart is
racing. I’m scared. I want to cry.
I grab my phone and I call Jason. There’s no one else I can
call.
“Jase I’m being followed.” I say in a shaky voice.
“What do you mean you’re being followed?” he sounds
like he just woke up.
“There's a black BMW that’s been following me since
yesterday. I don’t know what to do I’m just scared.” I
start crying.
“Where are you now?” he asks.
“I just passed Epworth.”
“Okay I want you to calm down and drive straight to the
gym. Don’t stop anywhere. And please get the register
number of that car. I’ll be there shortly.” He says.
I quickly type in the register number after dropping the
call.
Jason’s gym is not that far, it’s like 10 minutes away. I try
to pick up my speed, the BMW also picks up its speed.
Okay I’m dead.
Again, as soon as I indicate to turn at the gym, the car
overtakes me and drives off on full speed.
I park inside and I rest my head on the staring wheel. I
feel Quinn’s small hand stroking my back. This is just not
okay. No kid should witness their parent being this weak.

After about 5 minutes I hear someone opening the

passenger door but I’m too scared to even look so I keep
my head rested on the staring wheel. At this point I’ve
just given up, if they want to kill me they can go ahead.
“Hey you okay?” he says touching my back. I breathe a
sigh of relief before lifting up my head. That was
expeditious. His place is like an 30-40 minutes away. How
did he do that?
“Jay mommy’s sad.” Says Quinn.
“She’s sad? She’ll be fine. I’m here now okay buddy?” he
says. She nods.
“Babe what happened?” he asks. He looks distraught.
“I don’t know Jason. I don’t know what they want from
me.”
“Do you know who could that be? The person who was
following you?” he asks. I shake my head.
“Okay we will get to the bottom of this, you got the
register number right?” he asks. I nod. “You should come
and stay with me.. for now.”
“I can’t.” I say shaking my head. How can he even suggest
that?
“Why? It’s not safe for you to stay alone when we don’t
even know who was following you or why they following
you.” He says.
“It’ll be too far to drive from your place to this side of
town everyday.”
“I’ll drive you both in the morning and fetch you in the
afternoon it’s not a problem.”
“I can’t Jason.”
“Bulelwa would you stop being stubborn for once and
think about your safety, your child’s safety.” He says. He
has a point but I can’t.
“I can’t Jason. I can’t live with someone who-” I stop
myself and I look back at Quinn. She’s tracing her fingers
on the window. She can’t be subjected to this
conversation.
“Can we take her to school please.”
“I thought she was having a day off, she’s already late.”
He says.
“No she’s just one hour late, they’ll understand.”
We swap seats and he gets on the driver side. He says
he’ll get someone to escort the car he came with back to
his house.

I take Quinn to her class room to explain to her teacher

why she’s late. Well I just made up a lie cause I can’t
really tell her we were being followed. You know how
these white people are.
“So you agree to move in with me?” he says when I get
back in the car.
“Jason I’ve been going through a lot since finding out you
have a wife. I have to help my sister who is dealing with
something beyond me. I have people following me, I
don’t know if my life is in danger or what. And on top of
that I found out I’m not the only woman you’re sleeping
with. It’s just too much, I’m trying but I can’t, I can’t
cope.” I say with tears running down my cheeks.
“What are you talking about? I haven’t been with any
woman but you.” It’s like he’s confused.
“How do you explain the opened pack of condoms I
found in this car?”
“What? I’m sure those condoms have probably expired.”
He says. I let out a small laugh shaking my head in
disbelief.
“They expired huh?” I open the cabby hold and I take out
the condoms. “So 2 weeks ago they sold you something
that’s expired.” I hand them to him.
He starts popping his fingers. I guess he’s ran out of lies.
“How could you do this to me? Am I not enough?” I’m
more hurt than angry.
“You’re more than enough. I would never cheat on you.”
“These fucking condoms miraculously got in your car?”
“No I’m not saying that. Dom took the car to the car
wash a week ago and had the car the whole weekend so
they probably belong to him, we can even call him right
now if you don’t believe me. These condoms aren’t even
my size.”
Oh let’s get your dick up and see if they won’t fit, mxm.
“First you cheat on me now you’re lying to me. Your wife
was right. You’re not the man I thought you were.”
“Don’t bring her into this. And she is not my wife, we
spoke about this!” His tone is firm.
“You know Jason this relationship feels like I’m driving a
car, I’m driving a car and when I take a look at my
rearview mirror it seems to make a lot more sense than
what I see ahead. I love you, with all my heart but I have
to make that U-turn before I crash and burn. Do you get
what I’m trying to say here?” My eyes are filled with
tears again. I’m such a cry baby I know. Keeps quiet for a
moment.
“You’ll only crash and burn because you’re driving on the
wrong lane.” He says without looking at me. I keep quiet.
“If you love me as much as you say you do you would
believe me when I tell you I didn’t cheat on you.” He
continues.
“It’s not easy Jason. Put yourself in my shoes.” He
doesn’t get it.
“Please trust me sthandwa sam.” He says taking my
hand.
“Sthandwa sam?” My lips curve a smile.
“What? You thought I couldn’t speak Zulu?”
“I’ve never heard you speak Zulu. You make it sound
sexy.”
“Just like how you make Xhosa sound sexy. You should
speak it more.” He says.
“But you don’t even understand Xhosa.”
“I'll learn it. So which do you know better Zulu or
Xhosa?” he asks. Hold up, how did this conversation get
here? I’m supposed to be mad and breaking up with him.
He makes me so weak I hate it.
“I actually speak both fluently.” I answer him anyway.
“So you agree to come stay with me?” he says. I don’t
remember saying I agree. I keep quiet.
“Please Bulelwa. If something bad happened to you, God
forbid, I’d never forgive myself.” He pleads.
“I don’t know Jason.” I really don’t know what’s the right
thing to do at this point.
“Okay can you stay with me until we find out who was
following you at least.”
I bite my bottom lip. He’s stressing me out even more.
“Please….” He does the puppy eyes. I can’t help smiling.
“Stop it.” I push him playfully.
“But seriously babe I don’t like seeing you like this. You
know how much it breaks my heart to see you cry?”
“Okay we’ll stay with you but only until I’m certain we’re
safe.” I know you probably thinking I’m stupid for
believing him denying that he cheated but if love makes
me stupid then I guess it is what it is.
“That makes me feel so much better. You know what else
would make me feel even more better?” he says.
“What?”
“A kiss.”
“Jase..”
He leans in but I also meet him halfway. We kiss slowly
and he bites my bottom lip, I get butterflies and tingles
down there making me moan. He laughs. Oh he’s teasing
me? Okay.

We drive to my place so I can pack the stuff we’ll need. I

can’t believe I’m actually doing this. Please don’t judge
me, you don't know what it feels like constantly living in
fear.
Now I have to call Sli to let her know I’ll be picking Quinn
up.
“You can call me queen b…” she sings when she answers
her phone. How can you stay mad at someone like this?
“Hi Sli.”
“Bitch I’m really sorry for what I did but you have to
understand it did not come from a bad place. The thing
is, Loyiso accidently let it slip and he made me promise
not to tell you but that is not exactly the reason why I
never told you. You were so in love and happy which
made me happy too. I didn’t want to take that away from
you. I didn’t want to be the cause of your misery. But I’m
really sorry.” She says talking really fast.
“Why are you talking so fast?”
“I wanted to get that all out before you hang up on me
again.”
“I’m not going to hang up. Listen, I’ll be picking Quinn up
from today until… I don’t know I’ll let you know.”
“Are you that mad at me?”
“No no. We’re kind of like... sort of like…moving out. Not
permanently though.”
“Moving out to where? What happened?”
“A lot has happened, we need to meet up sometime this
week. But we’re moving in with Jason.”
She makes a sound. I don’t know what it means.
“Okay I have to go cause I know you’re about to judge
me.”
“No I’m not. It’s just….what has that man done to you?”
“Sli he’s right here, he can hear you.” I lie. He’s
somewhere in this house though. She drops the call
immediately. I laugh.
Jason is helping me get all the stuff I’ll need. Well he’s
not really helping, he’s just following me around
spanking my butt.
We load the stuff in the car and when we’re about to
walk out he pulls me to the couch and he asks me to sit.
He sits next to me.
“In the car you mentioned something about your sister
dealing with something, what is that? If you mind me
asking.” He says.
I sigh.
“I don’t really want to talk about it.” I say.
“It’s okay. I thought maybe I could help.”
Hmm maybe he could help.
“There’s a sick bastard out there who has been forcefully
having sex with her.” I feel rage and hurt just talking
about it. “He threatened to kill mom and I if she told. I’m
just breaks my heart that my sister would go through
something like and not tell me. Am I bad sister? Or
maybe I’m a difficult person?” This really hurt me cause I
thought our relationship was good enough for her to be
comfortable to speak to me about anything.
“Hey you’re not a bad sister, I’m sure it’s not easy talking
about something like this.” He says.
“Worst of all, when we were in Jo’burg that man was in
this house with my child.”
“What? How did he get in here? Who opened for him?”
“I don’t know. He’s a stalker. Yesterday I had to ask
Loyiso to come and stay with
Babalwa because he threatened to come here and I was
still at work.”
“What? You called my friend for help when you could
have called me? Are you serious?” he’s angry.
“I couldn’t call you Jase. I was mad at you. I thought you
were cheating on me.”
“And you decided to run to my friend’s arms behind my
back?”
“Don’t put it like that. I had no one else to call okay? I
needed help.”
“Bulelwa do you even think when you do things? How do
you think Loyiso looks at me now?”
“Frankly, I wasn’t thinking straight at that time. And this
is not about you Jase.” I don’t get why he’s mad.
“I don’t believe you right now.” He says getting up and
he walks out. I’m not going to follow him. It’s amazing
how we’re lovey-dovey one minute and then boom
there’s an argument the next. How are we even going to
live together? Maybe this is a test for our relationship.
He walks back inside after about 5 minutes.
“So it wasn’t just Loyiso you invited, Siya too?” he says.
I’m assuming he was on the phone with Loyiso.
“I didn’t invite them. I was at work!” I’m starting to get
annoyed too. He sits down again.
“Bulelwa no matter what is going on between us,
whether you’re mad at me or we’re not talking to each
other I don’t care, if something happens you call me! Not
my friends or any other person. Do you understand?”
I hate when he speaks to me like I’m his child but I nod
nonetheless.
“What if that guy is the same person that’s been
following you?” he suggests. I didn’t think of that.
“It could be.”
“Nevertheless, he’ll pay for what he did.” He says
clenching his jaws. “Is Bebe okay?” he adds.
“She’s fine. What are going to do to him?” I'm just
curious.
“He’ll be taken care of you don’t have to worry about it.”
he dismisses the subject. This is not over, I want to know.
We drive to my mom’s place first to get Babalwa so we
can take her to the doctor since I couldn’t yesterday.
Luckily she tested clean for everything, no STDs and no
pregnancy. Then we took her to the mall for some
shopping just to cheer her up.
---
I see my car parked there next to his cars. It looks
abandoned and neglected shame my baby.
“Come and see this.” He leads me to one of the
bedrooms upstairs. He opens the door. “Do you think
she’ll love this?”

What the hell? He has decorated the whole bedroom

pink and all girly. It’s almost analogous to Quinn’s
bedroom at my place but this one is bigger. It even has
letters on the wall spelling out her name.
“When did you do this?” I’m confused. That was too
quick.
“I got it done while we were in Jo’burg. Now you know I
was planning on asking you to move in with me.”
Shady!
“But I wasn’t going to agree.”
“You sure about that?” he pulls me by my waist and he
starts kissing me.
“Mhm.” I say in between the kiss. He picks me up and I
wrap my legs around his waist still kissing. He starts
walking to his bedroom.
“And you see it’s far away enough from us. She won’t
hear your loud moans.” As if he doesn’t moan loudly.
“Shut up.” I say already breathing heavily.
---
My princess loved her designated bedroom and Jason's
house just because it’s bigger and it has a pool and a dog.
I don’t understand how can she not be afraid of that
scary thing. She asked me if we could stay there forever,
she’s crazy.

We just dropped her off at school and now Jason is

driving me to work.
“You never told me what are you going to do to Kabelo...
the rapist.”
“I told you don’t have to worry about it.”
“I want to know.”
“We’ll kill him.” He says like it’s the most casual thing to
say. I’m astonished .
“What? You can’t do that. You are not a murderer
Jason.” I can’t believe he just said that.
“What do you want me to do Bulelwa, he’s a rapist.
Those dogs don’t deserve to live.” His face is the
opposite of gentle.
“You can do anything but you can’t kill him. He’s still
someone’s son and probably someone’s father. And I
don’t want his blood on your hands.”
He keeps quiet.
“He’ll pay.” He says after a while.
“Promise me in whatever you do you won’t take it that
far.”
“If that’s what you want okay but he’ll definitely pay,
that I can assure you.”
Now I don’t care what they do to him, they can even
chop his penis off but killing him is just too much.

I kiss him goodbye before making my way to the office. I

leave my handbag and my laptop bag before going to
Lint’s office. I have a lot of explaining to do since I didn’t
call yesterday to report I wasn’t coming in.

The door is slightly opened but I knock still because

unlike him, I have manners.
“It’s opened.” He says. I pop in my head first before
walking in.
“Oh Bhulelwa take a seat. How’s your sister doing?”
When I left early the other day I lied and told him my
sister was sick and I was the only one who could take her
to hospital.
“Uh…she’s getting better. I’m really sorry I couldn’t come
in yesterday. I tried doing some work when I got home
though.” I’m lying.
He gets up and he walks to the door and he locks it. What
is going on? Why is he locking the door now?
*
*
*
*
Thank you for reading! 😘 Editing the next chapter 😊
Chapter Nine

"Don’t worry about it.” He says walking slowly towards

where I’m seated. He has a look on his face I cannot
understand. My heart starts pounding. I get up quickly
before he even get to me.
“I’m…I’m going to go now I have a lot of work to do.” I
say in a shaky voice. He comes to where I’m standing.
“What’s the rush?” he says grabbing me by my waist. Oh
hell no!
“What are you doing?” I try to push him away.
“It’s your turn to help me. Mm.. You smell so good.” He
whispers moving his hands to my butt and he attempts
to kiss me. No! This is not happening. I can’t allow it to
happen. I use all the strength I have to push him and he
lands on the floor.
“You bitch!” He says trying to get up.
“Come anywhere near me I swear I will fucking kill you.”
I’m trying to act brave but I’m actually terrified. I try to
run to the door but he grabs me and he pushes me on his
desk. He’s more aggressive now. I scream for help but he
quickly covers my mouth with his hand while attempting
to unbuckle his belt with the other hand. Everything is
just happening so fast. I look to my right and the first
thing I see is his closed laptop. I grab it with both my
hands and I hit him hard on the head with it repeatedly.
He collapses on top of me but I push him off to the floor.
I quickly unlock the door and I run out to my office. I lock
the door and I sink to the floor with my back against it.
I’m shaking and crying while trying to catch my breath. I
can’t believe what just happened or what almost
happened. I was almost sexually assaulted. This
happened to my sister and now it almost happened to
me as well. Is this some sort of a family curse or
something? I also wish my father was here. But there’s
no time to sit and cry right now, I need to make a move
before that man gets up. I get up and I go to my desk
phone and I call reception.
“Anathi is Clare in?”
“Ewe she’s in her office.” She says.
“Please tell her I’d like to come and speak to her it’s
urgent.”
“Hhayi wethu are you okay?”
“Anathi please…” I say trying not to breakdown.
“Okay hold on.” She says. I wait. “Uthi yiza but she
doesn’t have the whole day uyamazi kalok.”
“Thank you.” I hang up.

I knock on her door.

“Come in.” She says. “If this is about your messed up
personal life I don’t want to hear it.” She says with her
eyes fixed on her laptop. How is my life messed up?
“No. Something happened here that I think you should
know about.” I sit down.
“I’m listening.” She’s still not looking at me.
“Uhm..I…Mr Lintvelt tried to-” she cuts me off.
“If it’s about that too I don’t want to hear it.”
How can she be so insensitive? I hold back my tears.
Wait, she knew about this?
“Clare you knew about it?” I can’t believe this.
“I’m very disappointed in you Bhulelwa. I mean I knew
you were young but I thought you were smart enough to
understand that some things don’t come easy, there are
sacrifices you have to make if you really want
something.”
“What? You thought I was going to sleep my way to the
top?” I don’t believe her!
She shrugs.
“Most of you people do it, there’s nothing new there.”
She says rolling her eyes. What does she even mean by
‘you people’?
“I am not like that! Your racism is disgusting.” I’m so
angry.
“Watch your mouth young lady, you don’t want me to
demote you back to junior sub now do you?”
I keep quiet. I don’t want to lose my job nor get
demoted, I have a child to take care of.
“He did not touch you right?” she says. I shake my head.
“But he tried to-” She cuts me off again.
“Tried yes which means he did not succeed. Now stop
barking like a freaking chihuahua and get back to work.
I’ll talk to him.”
Wow. I feel like I’m going to cry any minute so I get up
quickly and I rush out.

I don’t understand why all these bad things are

happening to me. Am I a horrible person? Did I do
something to deserve this? Maybe I’m being punished,
but what I can’t fathom is what for? It’d be better if I
knew cause then I’d know what I need to fix to get back
my peaceful life.

I spent the rest of the day working with my door locked. I

didn’t go out for lunch and I told Jason not to bring me
lunch cause I have too much work to do I won’t get time
to eat. I won’t tell him what happened cause I know he’s
going to cause a scene and I might end up losing my job.
---
I get home and I quickly make dinner before helping
Quinn with homework and giving her a bath. It’s amazing
how she always picks up when I’m not okay no matter
how hard I try to hide it. She keeps asking me “mommy
are you happy?”

I go to bed right after putting her in bed. Jason is in his

study doing some work.
I hear him walking in the bedroom after about 15
minutes and I close my eyes pretending to be asleep.
“Baby are you sleeping?” he gets in bed behind me. I
don’t reply. He shifts closer making me flinch.
“Whoa what’s wrong? Are you okay? How was your
day?” He says kissing my neck. I’m thinking – not tonight
please.

He penetrates me from behind while we’re both lying on

our sides. I keep getting flashbacks of that man on top of
me. I’m not really participating, I’m just crying silently. I
think he notices the stiffness of my body and he tries to
change the position by turning me around to lie on my
back.
“Baby you crying, did I hurt you?” he panics. I shake my
head.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m just tired. Can we not do this tonight?” I say in a
hoarse voice.
“Okay I’m sorry.” He gets off me. He still has that panic
look on his face. Men are so scared of tears though. I
take his arm and I wrap it around me.
“I love you.” I assure him. I don’t want him to think I’m
depriving him sex because I’m feeling some type of way.
He doesn’t respond, he just holds me tight.

I’m woken by my phone ringing. It’s my sister.

“Hey.”
“B did you see the news?”
“No. What happened?” I ask.
“Someone murdered Kabelo. They found him brutally
killed at some street I don’t know.”
“What??” I give Jason the look but he’s sleeping.
“He deserves it right? Am I a bitch for being happy?”
“Uh..Did they say who killed him?” I ask.
“I don’t know and I don’t care! Good riddance.”
“Listen I’ll call you tomorrow I have to go.” I hang up.

“Jase!” I shake him. He opens his eyes.

“What?” he says.
“You promised me you wouldn’t kill him, why did you do
it?” I’m fuming.
“Kill who?”
“Kabelo! Why did you kill him?”
“What? Where did you get that from?” he looks shocked.
“It’s on the news. He was found killed. Why did you do it
Jason?” I ask again.
“These fucking boys!” He gets up and he takes his phone.

“Don’t boss me, didn’t I tell you not to kill him?” he

shouts on the phone. I’ve never seen him so angry.
“That’s the problem with you, you don’t listen! I stated
clearly that I don’t want him killed.” He says. I’m only
hearing his side of the conversation. My phone rings
again. It’s MaDlamini. I completely forgot it’s Thursday
tomorrow. I step out of the bedroom before answering.
“Hi Mah.”
“Hello Sisi I’m sorry to call you this late but I wanted to
let you know I won’t be able to come to work tomorrow,
something tragic just happened.” I think she’s crying.
“What happened?”
“My son. They killed my son.” She cries. No! Don’t tell me
Kabelo is her son? It can’t be her son.
“What? Who killed him?”
“We don’t know yet. They found him lying lifeless by the
streets. I know my son was not an angel but he did not
deserve to die this way.” She says. This is a mess, I’m
speechless.
“Oh Mah.. I’m… I’m really sorry for your loss. I’ll send
something small into your bank account tomorrow that
can maybe help with the funeral preparations.”
“Thank you Sisi God will bless you abundantly for your
generosity.”

This woman has been nothing but helpful to me. I’ve

heard some really disturbing stories about housekeepers
but I’ve had none of that with her. And now my man sent
people to kill her son that raped my sister. It’s like a
movie plot. Did he even know his mother works for me?
What would have happened if he went to my house and
found his mother there that day?

“Who was that?” Jason asks when I walk back in the

bedroom.
“On the phone? It was just Babalwa.” Liar.
“You know I instructed those boys not to kill him but they
say he started shooting first.” He says.
“Was it Loyiso and Siya? What if they get caught?”
“No. It was my boys. They won’t get caught, I’m just
pissed off that they don’t listen to my instructions.” He
says. What boys is he talking about? I thought I knew my
man.
“You have people who kill that work for you Jason?”
“Bulelwa I’m a man with businesses and there are people
who are against that, I need to protect myself.”
“You trying to tell me your life is in danger because of
your businesses? Is my life in danger too?” This is just too
much to take in. I’m starting to think he has other things
going on that I don’t know about.
“No one’s life is in danger. Let’s go back to sleep.” He
says. He thinks I’ll be able to sleep now? The only thing
that can help me right now is a glass of wine. Or maybe
there is something else. I wait for him to get in bed first
and I get on top of him. I start kissing him.
“I thought you said you tired.”
“Ssh.” I place my finger on his lips. “Or do you want me
to stop?” I continue to kiss him.
I’m not really making love to him; I’m just using him to
release my stress. But he’s clueless.
---
His penis really helped. I feel lighter and much better
than how I felt yesterday. I even drove myself to work
today however, I’m still working with my door locked.

I’ll meet up with Sli during my lunch time. I used my

cellphone banking app to transfer R6000 into
MaDlamini’s bank account. It’s the least I can do. My
salary has been pilling up in my bank account since I
don’t really use it for anything lately besides my
daughter’s school fees. Jason insists on paying everything
for me. He wanted to take care of that too but I put my
foot down, we’re not married therefore Quinn is my
responsibility.

On my way back from my lunch I bump into Mr Lintvelt in

the corridors. He has a bruise on his bald head, good. I
don’t even want to look at him but he blocks my way.
“Get out of my way please.” I say looking down.
“Bulelwa I need to talk to you.”
He has the biggest nerve hey?
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“That’s not a way of talking to your manager now is it?”
I let out a small chuckle in disbelief.
“You know Mr Lintvelt the only reason I haven’t opened
a case against you is because of your wife and your
innocent children. I don’t want to be the cause of them
growing up with their father in jail. Now you don’t want
me to change my mind, do you?”
“Keep your voice down.” He whispers looking around. I
push him aside and I walk to my office.
My desk phone rings just as I settle down.
“Bulelwa hello.”
“There’s a delivery for you.” That’s Anathi.
“Oh please sign for me and bring it up.” I don’t want to
leave my office.
“Okay!” she says and she hangs up.

“Just thinking about you. Love, secret admirer.” She

reads the note attached on the flowers as she walks in
my office. She’s also carrying a box of my favourite
chocolate.
“Hhayi wena! I said bring it up, I didn’t say you must read
the note.” I snatch it out of her hand. She laughs. Secret
admirer? He’s so stupid.
“You’re the luckiest woman on earth, do you know
that?” she says. I shrug but I can’t stop blushing.
“Can I open this?” she asks already opening the
chocolate.
“Sure.”
She helps herself.
“Thank you.” She says before running out.

I take my phone to call Jason to thank him but I’m

distracted by tons of notifications from my Instagram.
There’s a K_Lekoane who literally liked all my posts. I
click on their profile only to find it’s Jason’s wife. What
the fuck? I thought it was Kamo. This is just creepy. How
did she even find my account? She didn’t follow me she
just liked my posts, even the pictures I took with Jason. I
put my account on private mode before logging off. So
she’s still using Jason’s surname? I know they haven’t
divorced yet but still, it doesn’t sit well with me. It hurts
actually.
---
“Any updates on your divorce?” I ask as we get in bed.
“No. Katlego is still refusing to settle for spousal
support.” He says. I can tell this thing is just draining him.
“She was stalking me on Instagram.”
“What do you mean she was stalking you?”
“She went and literally liked all my posts.”
“Really? She’s your fan, she likes you.” He says laughing.
“It’s not funny Jase. It’s really creepy. By the way thank
you.” I give him a smile.
“Thank you?”
“For the flowers and chocolate.”
“Flowers and chocolate?” he looks confused.
“The things you sent at work babe stop it.”
“As much as I’d love to take the credits but I didn’t send
any flowers and chocolate.” He looks serious.
“What? So I ate chocolate from someone I don’t know?
What if it’s poisoned?” I panic.
“Why did you eat it?” he panics too.
“I thought you sent it damnit!”
He looks at me.
“I’m sorry, I’m just worried. Who could that be?” I say.
And how did they know my favourite chocolate?
“What did the note card say?”
“It said from secret admirer. I didn’t even sign for those
things I asked Anathi to sign for me so I don’t know which
delivery company delivered it.” Guys I’m going to die, cry
with me.
“Ask Anathi tomorrow. Don’t stress.” He says and kisses
my cheek. “What was going on yesterday?” he asks.
“About what?”
“You were down the whole afternoon and when I tried
having sex with you, you cried and then the next thing
you get on top of me, do you suffer from bipolar?”
Bipolar? That is so offensive.
“I don’t have bipolar Jason I was just going through some
stuff.”
“What? You should be able to talk to me about
anything.”
“It was about my sister and the things she’s been going
through.” I lie.
“It’s all over now. I know she’ll get through it, Bebe
seems like a strong girl.”
I give him a half smile.
“I love you.” He says.
“I love you more.” I kiss him and I turn around. I love it
when he cuddles me from behind, I feel safe.
“If you die at least you’ll die in my arms.”
Trust this idiot to turn this into a joke, smh.
“Don’t joke like that! You should sing me to sleep.” I have
a man with an amazing voice but he never sings for me.
“I won’t sing for you MyHlali.”
“Why not? Romantic guys sing for their women, aren’t
you romantic?”
“I don’t like singing.”
He’s just like my sister, great voice but doesn’t like
singing. Mind you, she’s the only one that can sing in my
family.
“You should pray then.” I say.
“I don’t know how to pray.” He’s lying.
“Liar.”
“I’m serious babe.”
“You listen to me pray every night, you can say the same
prayer.”
“Okay close your eyes.” He says. They’re already closed.
He starts whispering something I can’t hear before saying
‘Amen’ loudly. Sigh.
“Amen.” I echo before praying with my heart, I don’t
trust his whispered prayer.
---
It’s a Saturday and Jason is taking Quinn and I to an
amusement park. I’ve never taken her to those places
because I myself am scared of those rides. I hope she
loves it.
We’re all wearing Timberlands, black jeans and white t-
shirts. It’s so cute. I’m used to wearing matching outfits
with Quinn and now we’ve added a male figure but it still
works.

“Quinn tell Jay who’s your boyfriend.” I say. She’s sitting

in the backseat. She doesn’t say anything, she just smiles
and points at Jase.
“Me? Well aren’t I the luckiest man on earth?” he says
looking at her through the rearview mirror.
“She said she’s your side chick.” I say.
“What? You’re my main, she’s the side chick.” He points
at me. Whatever!

“Whoa! Look at the big rides! I want to go on that one!”

that’s my daughter showing exuberance as we’re driving
in.
“Aren’t you scared?” I’m scared for her cause I know I’m
not going on any of those rides. Call me a bore, I don’t
care.
“I’m not a baby I’m not scared!” she says.

It’s such a lovely day. I’m having a wonderful time with

my two favorite people in the world, what more could I
ask for? Jason keeps stealing kisses whenever Quinn is
not looking or when she’s on one of the rides.

As we’re walking we hear a woman’s voice shouting “Mr

Lekoane!” behind us. We both turn around. I see a girl
half-running towards us. If she’s not 20 she’s definitely
21. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and sneakers. I’m
assuming there’s a bum-short underneath. She has a
banging body.
“Good to see you.” She says hugging Jason when she gets
to us. Err who’s this?
“Good to see you too, these are my girlfriends Bulelwa
and Q.” Jason says but he looks a bit uncomfortable. The
girl giggles. You know like how you used to giggle in high
school when your crush said something stupid? And she
has those tiny annoying voices.
“And babe this is Mandy our receptionist at the gym.”
Says Jason. So she works for him? Who behaves like this
in front of their boss? Yikes.
“Mr L I didn’t know you have a child.” She says.
“Well now you know.” Jason says before I can even say
anything.
“You guys look totally bomb with your matching outfits,
it’s super dope. And it’s lovely to meet you Bulelwa.” She
says leaning in to hug me and she spills her coke on my t-
shirt. I swear she did that deliberately.
“Oh my Gosh I’m so sorry.” She says trying to brush it off
making it worse.
“No leave it!” I say pushing her hands away. I’m so mad.
Now I’ll walk around with this huge brown stain on my t-
shirt, this little bitch rha.
“Mr L I’ll see you at work.” She says and she walks away.
Jason looks annoyed as he watches her walk away.
“Can we go home please.” I say. There’s no way I’m going
to stay here with a dirty t-shirt.
“No I don’t want to go!” that’s Quinn. I know I’m being
unfair by cutting the day short but it’s not my fault.
“There’s a jacket in the car, don’t you want to wear it to
cover that up?” he says looking at the stain. I shrug. I’m
still very annoyed.

He gave me his camouflage jacket and I had to zip it up

but it was okay cause it wasn’t that hot, and I must say it
looked cool with my outfit although it was a bit big. And
Quinn was just elated that we weren’t leaving early.
---
It’s Monday again! I walk in the office to find Anathi
flirting with that disgusting pig by the reception area. It
seems like he has moved on to his next prey.

“Molo Anathi..ndifuna ucokola nawe yaz, uze pha in my

office when you get time.” I say to Anathi deliberately
speaking Xhosa just to spite him. And deliberately
ignoring him. He gives me an evil eye and I return a bitch
smile before walking away.
Did I tell you my mother called me yesterday and she
hurled all sorts of insults at me for moving in with Jason. I
don’t know who snitched on me cause I haven’t even
told Babalwa yet. Some of the things she said really hurt
me and it got me thinking maybe I should move back to
my place now that things seem to be back to normal. But
I love staying with my man. I love falling asleep in his
arms and waking up next to him every morning.

I’m distracted by Anathi walking in.

“Bad weekend?” she asks. I give her a confused look.
“I saw you giving Lint nasty stares and you didn’t even
greet him, what’s up?”
“Anathi you need to stay away from that man.”
“Why? He’s a sweet guy.” She says. I sigh.
“I’m only telling you this because I care about you, I see
you as my younger sister.
That man is not the person you think he is.”
“Why would you say that? What happened?”
“Just…just stay away from him okay?” She’s so
frustrating. Why can’t she just listen to me?
She looks at me and she nods.

I later got a call from her telling me Clare wants to see

me. I’ve been trying to avoid that bitch since the last
week incident.
“I heard you wanted to see me.” I say after she tells me
to come in.
“Yes. Sit.” She instructs.
“Bhulelwa I hear you’ve been speaking your voodoo
language here.” She says. Voodoo language? That has to
be the most offensive thing I’ve ever heard in my life.
“Voodoo language? I speak Xhosa!”
“Whatever! Leave it at home. You know the rules.” She
says.
“I only spoke it when I was greeting Anathi this morning.”
I can’t believe I’m actually in trouble for speaking my
language. Last time I checked I think I had a right to
speak whatever language I want to speak. Law people
help me here.
“I don’t care. You must go and apologize to Mr Lintvelt
because that was very rude and offensive to him.” She
says. I knew this had something to do with that man.
“I am not going to do that.” This is actually the first time
I’m standing up for myself to this woman.
“Okay that leaves me with no choice but to demote you. I
see you’ve forgotten your place here.” She says.
“You can’t demote me.”
“Why not? I have every right. You think I’m playing?”
“No you can’t demote me cause I’m dismissing myself. I
can’t work here anymore. Fuck you and your fucking
company!” I really tried to control my rage.
“Very well then. Make sure you don’t leave anything
when you pack your stuff.” She says calmly. I get up
immediately but just when I’m about to walk out I turn to
her.
“You know Clare my boyfriend is a lawyer. And no, not
just any lawyer, he owns 4 law firms which means he has
other lawyers working for him. Who knows? Maybe your
lawyer works under him as well. I am going to sue your
flat ass for what happened to me and this, your
company, your magazine and everything you own..you’ll
kiss it goodbye.” I say. “And for the record, my name is
Bulelwa not Bhulelwa!” I add before walking out. I’m not
going to sue her, I don’t have that energy. I just said that
to scare her. You should have seen her face lol I
should’ve taken a picture and used it as a meme.

I got two empty boxes from the store room to put my

stuff in. Anathi was really sad to hear I’m leaving. If I
could I would take her with me shame.
I’m also sad because I came to this company straight out
of university. I have never worked anywhere else before,
I was groomed here. I gained all my experience in this
place and it’s just sad that I have to leave on these terms.
---
I thought I wasn’t going to find Jason home but all his
cars are here, there’s even an extra car, a white Hyundai
i10. We have a visitor.

I enter the house and I freeze. I think my eyes are

deceiving me. One of my biggest fears has become a
reality today.
....To be continued.
*
*
*
*
Still appreciate my readers 💕💕🙏🏻
....continuation.

I think one of every woman’s biggest fears is walking in

on your man doing the nasty with another woman. Had I
walked in here a few hours or minutes earlier, I’d be in
that position right now. Little miss thang, yeah the one
from the amusement park is sitting on the couch wearing
my man’s shirt.

I don’t know if I should take off my Louis Vuitton’s and

teach this bitch a lesson or I should wait for Jason so they
can explain themselves or I should just run back to my
car and cry.

I opt for option B because I am not the fighting type. In

fact, I’ve never physically fought in my life. And I can’t
just run away to cry when I don’t know exactly what is
going on. Even though it seems quite obvious.

“These people don’t….” He freezes when he sees me.

“Babe w-what are you doing here at this time?”
What? Is he seriously asking me that question?
“What am I doing here? What is she doing here?”
“Oh I came to deliver work stuff. You must be wondering
why I’m wearing Mr L’s shirt, well I accidentally spilled a
drink on my dress so I’m just waiting for it to dry. He
wanted to give me something from your closet but I told
him that would be rude since you weren’t here.” The
bitch explains with her annoying voice. I’m glad he didn’t
give her any of my clothes but I’m also mad she’s
wearing his shirt. And why is she always ‘accidentally’
spilling things?
“He’s such a gentleman. Another man would have told
me to fuck off with my dirty dress.” She says with that
bitchy smile.
I see she’s trying to provoke me but I won’t give her that
satisfaction. I walk over to Jason and I wrap my arms
around him.
“I missed you that’s why I’m here.” I say before kissing
him.
“My Love you left work early because you missed me?”
he asks with a smirk.
“Mhm. I’m always missing you when you’re not with me
but today I couldn’t take it because of last night.” I bite
my bottom lip before starting to unbutton his shirt. I’m
fully aware the girl is standing there watching.

“Uh...I think my dress is okay now. I’ll go change and I’ll

see my way out.” The disappointment in her voice!
There’s a hint of hurt too.
“Okay I’ll see you at the gym.” Jason says before turning
his attention back on me. I swear I saw tears in the girl’s
eyes. Mxm go die hood rat!

“What the fuck was she doing here?” I shout as soon as I

hear the girl’s car drive out. He widens his eyes.
“She told you she came to deliver work stuff.”
As if!
“Don’t insult my intelligence Jason. Since when do
receptionists deliver stuff?” He thinks I’m stupid?
He keeps quiet.
“Are you sleeping with her?” I ask.
“What? You’re accusing me of cheating on you again?”
he says looking at me like I’m insane.
“Do you blame me? I found a girl sitting on your coach
wearing your fucking shirt!
What do you expect me to do? Praise you?”
“I am not sleeping with her.”
“You know what? It’s okay. This is your house, you can
bring whoever you want to bring. But I’m going back to
my place.” I walk away. He follows me.
“So this is what you’ll do? Run away every time we have
a fucking argument?” he shouts.
“Stop shouting at me! What would you do if you found
me in another man’s house wearing their shirt?” I shout
back.
He keeps quiet again.
“I think I’ve over stayed my welcome here.” I say and
start taking out my stuff out of the closet.
“You’re not going anywhere.” He says calmly. Maybe he
thinks I’m joking, I’ll show him who I am today.
He’s just standing there watching me. I’m acting like a
crazy woman yet he’s just so calm, it’s frustrating!

He stands by the door when I try to walk out.

“Get out of my way please.” He’s really pissing me off
right now. He just stands there.
“Jason please you’re really annoying me right now
move!”
He looks at me for a moment before opening the door
and he runs out. What the fuck? I think this man is on
drugs. Actually I’ll leave Quinn’s things here, I don’t have
time to pack, I’ll fetch them some other time.

When I walk down the stairs with my bags I find him

standing there with a glass of cognac in his hand. He
doesn’t even help me with the bags, he just looks at me. I
don’t say anything too. I take my keys, I’m very proud of
myself for doing this. And he’s not even trying to stop
me? That hurts a bit but okay.

“Don’t scream when Panda jumps on you, he just wants

to play.” He says just when I’m about to open the front
door. What? So he let out his dog? He knows there’s no
way I’ll go out now.
“Jason why are you doing this?” I ask calmly.
“What? What did I do? You the one who wants to leave.”
He says. I look at him and tears start running down my
face.
“I told you you’ll only crash and burn because you’re
driving on the wrong lane. You continue to believe I
cheat on you even though I made it clear I would never
hurt you. Like why the fuck can’t you believe that?”
“You talk like that cause you’re not in my position Jason. I
just lost my job and I expected to come home to a
comforting boyfriend but what do I find?”
“What? You lost your job?” he widens his eyes.
“Yes I resigned.”
“Why? I thought you loved your job.” He looks confused.
“I do but I’ve had to put up with so much crap from them
and this time they just went too far.”
“What do you mean? What happened?”
I’m not sure if I should tell him or not because I know
he’s going to make it a big deal.
“They racist Jason. They wanted to demote me because I
was speaking Xhosa, it’s just ridiculous. And last week the
manager tried to..” I can’t bring myself to articulate the
rest of the sentence.
“Tried what?”
“It doesn’t matter anymore, I won’t be going back to that
place. Please lock up your dog I want to leave.” I say
trying to dismiss the subject at hand.
“Bulelwa what did he do?” he asks with a firmer tone. I
bite my trembling bottom lip.
“He locked me in this office and tried to..he tried to force
himself on me.” I start crying.
“What? You almost got raped and you didn’t tell me? Are
you serious?” he gives me those piercing angry eyes.
“I managed to fight him so I thought it wasn’t a big deal.”
I explain.
“Damn it Bulelwa!” he shouts and throws the glass on
the marble wall making me flinch and scream. He’s really
scaring me right now.
“You went back to that fucking place! What if he came
back for you?” he shouts.
“I told the boss and-” he cuts me off.
“Fuck that! You should have spoken to me! Am I a
fucking statue to you?” he continues.
“I’m sorry.” I say in a hoarse voice with tears streaming
down my cheeks. He looks at me with so much rage
before grabbing his keys and he storms out.

I sink on the couch and I cry my eyeballs out. I’m shaking

in fear mixed with anger. I don’t understand why he’s
angry at me, none of this is my fault. Yes I know I should
have told him but I knew he was going to react this way
and I didn’t want to lose my job.

And it’s amazing how he just turned this whole situation

on me. I’m the one who’s supposed to be mad and
throwing tantrums because I found a half naked girl in his
house. And now he’s looked me up in here. It’s a sign, I
shouldn’t have came here in the first place.

After composing myself I get up to clean up the mess he

made when he threw the glass before taking my bags
back upstairs.

I try to call him but it goes straight to voicemail. I text Sli

asking her to take Quinn too when she picks up Kuchi
from school cause I don’t know when this man will be
back.

I don’t know what to do with my life right now so I

unpack the bags before going downstairs to prepare
dinner. I need to start with the job hunting ASAP.

I’m woken by Quinn jumping on me. I must have dozed

off while watching t.v. How did she get here? I check the
time on my phone. It’s 7 pm and she’s still wearing her
school uniform.
“Who fetched you from school?”
“Jay did. And we went to the mall and we watched a
movie and we ate ice-cream it was so much fun!”
I can’t believe this. Who the fuck does Jason think he is?
How dare he fetches my kid to have fun at the mall
without informing me whilst I’m locked up in here?
“You did? That’s nice. Where is he?”
“He’s upstairs. We got you ice-cream too.”
“Thank you.” I give her a fake smile. “We have to take a
bath now it’s already.” I say getting up.

I give my baby a bath, after that I help her with

homework before dishing up for her and Jason, I’m not
really hungry. Jason is still upstairs so I leave his food in
the microwave and I wait for Quinn to finish eating so I
can put her in bed.

I find him sitting on the bed working on his MacBook. I

don’t say anything, I just take off my clothes and I walk in
the bathroom for a shower.
When I come out he’s still in the same position I left him
in.
“Your food is in the microwave.” I say putting on my
pajamas.
“Thank you.”
I don’t say anything after that I just get in bed and I face
the other way. He’s quiet too. He’s the one that did me
wrong this time so I’ll remain quiet until he apologies. I
hate when we fight, I just want us to be a happy couple.
Is that too much to ask for?
I’m woken by him kissing my neck, what the hell? It’s
fucking 3 am! But who am I kidding? I wasn’t sleeping, I
was just tossing and turning like him.

He turns me around to lay on my back and he gets on top

of me and he kisses me. I allow him and I kiss him back.
He goes down to my neck before undressing me. He was
sleeping naked so there’s nothing for me to take off. I
don’t understand how people even sleep naked, I’ve
tried it but it doesn’t work for me, it’s uncomfortable.
Anyway he explores every inch of my body with his
mouth before separating my legs and he goes down on
me. I moan softly, it feels like heaven.
Mind you, there haven’t been any further conversation
since I told him about his food. He didn’t even say
goodnight.
After working his magic with his tongue down there he
gets up and he turns me around to lay on my stomach
before inserting his hard massive dick from behind.
“Oh fuck..” I whisper. I can’t help it. He starts pounding
really hard sending me to the gods. I bring the pillow to
my mouth to block my moaning, he’s also moaning in my
ear which is turning me on even more.

I swear, even though it was a short session that was one

of the best sex we’ve ever had and we’re not even on
speaking terms.

“What you did was not okay.” I finally say after catching
our breath. Someone has to be the bigger person, like we
can’t go on this silent treatment forever.
“What did I do?”
So he sees nothing wrong with what he did?
“You locked me up in here Jason when I told you I
wanted to leave. You have no right to do that. And on
top of that you fetch my child from school and you take
her to the mall without my consent, that is not okay.”
“Bulelwa you almost got raped and you didn’t even tell
me about it, how was I supposed to feel?”
I see he’s starting to get angry again.
“Yes I was wrong for not telling you and already
apologized for that but I will say it again I’m sorry.”
He just nods. So he’s not going to acknowledge the fact
that he was wrong too?
“So you’re not going to apologize?”
“What for?”
Wow.
“I found you with a half naked girl in this house Jason but
you just turned the tables on me. You shouted at me
throwing a glass on the wall, you trapped me in this
house, when I tried to call you your phone was off. What
if the house caught fire? I could’ve easily died in here and
you don’t see the need to apologize?”
“I did not trap you in here.”
“You let your stupid dog out damn it! It’s the same
thing!”
“Are you still talking to me?”
No I’m talking to the air, of course I’m talking to you
idiot. But I keep quiet and I look away.
“Number one, don’t ever and I mean ever raise your
voice at me. Number two, I only left because I was really
angry and I didn’t want to do something I’d regret later.”
What does he mean by something he would later regret?
“Were you going to hit me?”
“I don’t hit women Bulelwa. I’d never lay a hand on you.”
“I’m sorry for making you that angry.” I apologize again
and he hasn’t even said a single sorry.
“Next time please Bulelwa speak to me when something
happens. I am your man, I am meant to protect you at all
times but how will I do that if you don’t talk to me?”
“I have to go back to my place.” I say after a moment of
silent.
“Why?”
“It doesn’t feel right staying here. I know I’m a grown ass
woman but I still have morals. Cohabitation is not okay,
especially if I’m staying here with my child.” I explain.
“I don’t know why you look at it as cohabiting because I
told you from the first day you came here this is your
house too.”
“If it’s my house too I don’t ever want to see that girl
here again.” Yes I’m a woman, of course I have my
insecurities.
“I told you she was just here to deliver work stuff but
okay she’ll never come here again.”
He’s so persistent with his lie. Of course I know it’s a lie, I
know what is going on but I’m choosing to be oblivious
about it – for now.
“But I’m still going back to my place.”
“You’re just angry. Let’s wait for the weekend at least.”
He’s right, I am angry but I was going to leave
nevertheless. He leans in and we kiss for a few minutes.

There’s no point in me going back to sleep because I have

to get up in like 2 hours and prepare my child for school.
So I browse through my Facebook in the meantime and
BAM! I have a friend request from Katlego Lekoane.
What does this woman want from me really? So is this
what side chicks deal with? Annoying angry wives? Not
that I’m a side chick, you know my situation is different.
Anyway I ignore the friend request, I don’t want to be
her friend.

I would read my bible right now but I was fornicating like

half an hour ago, that would be disrespectful to God.
Ever since I started dating this man I’ve abandoned
church and I feel really bad even though I still read my
bible and pray everyday. Jason says he is a believer but
he just doesn’t go to church.

I notice he has fallen asleep and I have this urge to go

through his phone but nope! I’m not that kind of woman
and I trust my man. But maybe I can find solid evidence
of what I think is going on between him and his
“receptionist”. What should I do?
*
*
*
*
Can I ask something? Do you guys think Jason is
cheating? Do you think Bulelwa is being stupid for
turning a blind eye on what she suspects?
Anyway... Chapter 10 coming later today 😊 cause I've
been quiet lately. Thank you for reading 💕
Chapter Ten
“Happy 10th month anniversary!” he says excitedly
jumping on the bed on top of me like a small kid. Like
why so much energy so early in the morning? I mean we
always celebrate our anniversary every month but I have
never seen him this excited.
“I have the best gift for us.” I can see he’s hiding
something behind him.
“What?”
“Guess.” He says smirking.
“I don’t know Jase just tell me.” I don’t have the kind of
energy he has. Whatever it is, it’s making him really
happy though.
He pulls up a document.
“Bam! My divorce was finalized. Katlego finally accepted
spousal support, I’m a free man!” he says like it’s the
most amazing thing that as ever happened to him.
“You’re a free man? So you’re not mine?”
“I’m all yours baby you know what I mean.”
“I’m joking. That’s a relief.” It really is a huge relief for me
because I wasn’t really comfortable with dating a
married man but I love him so much it was impossible to
stay away from him.

Did I tell you I never moved back to my place? Yeap, his

sweet words and magic touch managed to make me stay
every time I tried to leave. But I won’t act as if I don’t
enjoy falling asleep in his arms and waking up next to him
everyday.

MaDlamini is also my full time helper/nanny now. She

stays with us but she goes home every other weekend. I
haven’t found a job yet but I am still looking even though
it seems I don’t need it at the moment, I’m not willing to
depend on a man for the rest of my life. I’m currently
working on my blog. I’ve always loved blogging but I
never had enough time.

I’ve also started working out, I wanted to join the gym

but Jason said there’s no need cause we have a gym
room in the house and he’ll be my personal trainer since
he doesn’t want me to be trained by any man. Very
possessive. So yeah, that’s what’s been keeping me busy
while I carry on with the job hunting.

Quinn and I spent Christmas with his family in Joburg,

and Hlelo and Reneilwe came this side for New Year’s so
they got to meet my sister and Sli. My mom still hasn’t
accepted the fact that I love Jason and he’s the person I
want to be with. It’s exhausting if you ask me. Even
though I was skeptical about spending
Christmas with his family, it turned out really fun
actually. They adore Quinn so much you’d swear she’s
Jason’s child and she has found a new bestie in Hlelo. I
finally got to meet Jason’s father. Well I wouldn’t say he
was nice but he was okay until I told him my surname.
The strange stares he kept shooting me gave me creeps
and I felt really uncomfortable. I didn’t tell Jason about it
though. I know my man, he makes a big fuss over
everything. And don’t want to cause a strain in their
relationship. But all in all, it was a great Christmas, they
really are wonderful people.

We had a one week baecation in Bali, my first

international trip and doing it with the love of my life was
just amazing. I had the time of my life and I look forward
to more baecations in the future.

My daughter is going to start 1st grade at a new school

closer. Schools open next week but hers only opens in
February cause it’s a private school. I’m very excited to
see her in her proper school uniform.

What else did you miss out on? Oh my sister has been
seeing a therapist and she’s back on her bitchy
tendencies – I think she’s just naturally a bitch. We hid
the whole thing from mom, guys she’s not good with
news like this, when she found out I was pregnant she
had a stroke and was in hospital for a whole month so
we’re doing it for her own good. Jason wanted to make
my former employers “pay” for everything they put me
through but I disagreed with him. We had a huge fight
about it but I won in the end. They not worth our time
and energy, I believe God will deal with them in his own
way. And the last time he tried to make someone “pay” a
man ended up dying and I don’t want that to happen
again. I still feel like shit about it.

For the past few months I’ve been searching for evidence
of what I suspect is happening between him and his
receptionist without any success, sigh.

Usually we just celebrate our anniversary every month by

going out on a date but today he told me we’ll only come
back tomorrow. I have no idea where he’s taking me.

I have to go to the salon to do my hair and nails. I’ll do

something curly this time and matte pink nails. My
birthday is coming up in like a week so I have to look fly.
I’m not even sure if Jason still remembers but either way
I won’t remind him.
My appointment at the salon was at 2 pm and I only
came back at like 4.30 pm. Quinn is at Sli’s place for the
weekend, I’ll fetch her tomorrow afternoon. She left
yesterday but I already miss her like crazy. The house is
just so quiet without her.

I get a text from Jason telling me he’s on his way home.

He had a meeting with one of his clients. I text him back
telling him he shouldn’t come upstairs when he gets
here, he should just wait for me downstairs before
rushing upstairs for a quick shower. I want to surprise
him.

I do my make-up first whilst I’m still wrapped in a towel.

With the plenty of time I have, I’ve watched so many
make-up tutorials on YouTube I could be a professional
make-up artist right now. After doing my face beat I put
on my beautiful red Dior dress and a pair of silver Jimmy
Choo high-heeled sandals. I’m wearing diamond stud
earnings. Everything I’m wearing was bought with Jason’s
money. Yeap I’m that spoilt woman now, I get everything
I want and I never do anything with my own money.
My phone rings. It’s my man.
“Baby.”
“Sthandwa sam I’m downstairs.”
“Stay there don’t come up please I’ll be down just now.”
“But I need to change my outfit.”
Sigh.
“Okay fine you can come.” I say. He chuckles and drops
the call.

He opens the bedroom door and he freezes. I expected

this reaction, I look extremely sexy it’s overwhelming for
me too.
“MyHlali…”
“You like it?” I do a little twirl. He opens his mouth to say
something but the words seem to be stuck. I take my
diamond neckpiece that matches my earing.
“Can you help me with this.” I hand it to him and I give
him my back. After helping me put it on he wraps his
arms around my waist from behind.
“Can we cancel the plans for tonight for another day?”
he whispers in my ear. I can feel he has a hard on, well
that was quick.
“No. I didn’t go through all this trouble for you to
cancel.” I say moving away from him. He’s giving a
lecherous look.
“But baby… how am I supposed to keep up with all that?”
“Ugh you don’t even have to try, you’re sexy.” I say.
“Am I?” he asks like a pre-school kid. I giggle.

He wore a navy fitted suit with a crisp white shirt and a

red tie matching my dress. He really is like legit sexy.

He is still refusing to tell me where we going which is

stupid cause I’ll eventually see, I ain’t wearing any blind-
folds.

You have got to be kidding me! Jay’z Grill? Really? He let

me wear such an expensive dress for Jay’z Grill? I am
highly disappointed and a little annoyed too. I mean,
we’ve been to way better places than this! Had he told
me we were coming here I would have just worn a pair of
jeans.

He opens my door and he takes my hand to help out of

the car.
“You don’t look happy, you okay?”
“I’m happy.” I force a smile. He leads me up the stairs to
the entrance and... OMG! Why is Jason like this? The
whole restaurant is lit with candles. There’s only one
table. Hold up, I remember that spot. That’s where we
had our first date! Oh fuck I’m going to cry and ruin my
make-up!
“Jase..” I look up at him, he smirks. Now I’m the one
who’s ran out of words.

We are welcomed by a teenage boy dressed very smartly

and he shows us to our table. Oh wow there’s an
orchestra band playing softly on the other corner. I don’t
know how he managed to book this whole restaurant
out, I mean this must have cost him a fortune.
Another young man comes to us. He greets and he
introduces himself as our waiter for the night and he
pours our champagne.
“Happy anniversary.” Jason says raising his glass.
“Happy anniversary ” we toast.
“I can’t believe it’s only been 10 months, it feels like five
years. So much has happened! How did you even
remember the exact same spot where we had our first
date?” I say. He smirks.
“How can I forget anything about that night? Remember
how you looked at me like a hungry lion when you
walked in here?” he says grinning. Haha I thought he
never noticed that.
“Get over yourself. I was actually disappointed cause you
looked way hotter on your Facebook pictures.”
He laughs.
“I still can’t believe you made me haunt you down on
Facebook like some love struck teenager.” He says
shaking his head. I smile.
“And I still wouldn’t have came here, you need to thank
my friend cause she practically forced me to come. I
remember I was so over it I didn’t even shower before
coming here.” I say laughing. He raises his eyebrows.
“What? And the whole time I thought the funny smell
was coming from the people who were sitting on the
table behind me.”
I can’t help laughing.
“No that is not funny, I did not smell.” I say. “Remember
you actually never asked me out? You just told me I’m
going to be your woman.” I shake my head.
“There was no need of asking you out.” He says simply.
“I could have turned you though.”
“No. I knew you loved me. After I told you that I was in
love with you, that single look you gave me poured out
your whole heart so I knew you were going to be mine.”
Wow that is actually true, I thought I hid my emotions
then.
“Lucky fish. You know some men have to beg a woman
the whole year just for the number and another year for
a date?” I say.
We’re interrupted by the waiter bringing our starters and
he refills our glasses too.

After the waiter leaves, I just look at Jason. If only I could

rip out my heart to show him how much I love him cause
I don’t think words would describe it properly. I never
knew my heart was capable of loving a man so much. He
stares into my eyes too.

“You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me you

know that?” I say.

He takes my hand and kisses it. Just the way he’s looking
at me makes me weak. The champagne is starting to kick
in cause I have to blink rapidly.
“I love you.” I say and I accidently burp out loudly.
“Sorry.”
He shrugs and burps too. What? I laugh and I burp again.
“Nice one.” He says and burps even louder. We’re having
a burping competition. It’s gross I know but it’s so much
fun, and we can get away with it cause we’re alone here.
“Yeah you really bring out the best in me.” He says
laughing. I’m laughing too.

It really was the best night. If he went all out like this on
our 10th month anniversary, I can’t help but wonder
what he’ll do for our 10th year anniversary. Of course
we’ll still be together after 10 years, don’t be a hater.

We’re driving to the hotel because the said he wanted to

fuck my brains out – his words not mine, and he can’t do
that with MaDlamini in the house. Not that we’ve never
had sex since she moved in but we always keep it down.

We walk in the hotel to check in but it seems as if they

were already waiting for us.
“Mr Lekoane you’re here! Here’s your key, enjoy your
stay.” The young receptionist says with a genuine smile
handing him the key card. Am I missing something here?

Anyway we get to the suit and he inserts the card to

unlock the door. We’re welcomed by a trail of red rose
petals on the hallway. We follow the trail and all the time
I’m thinking what the hell is going on.

Omg! I can’t with this man. He made the room look

exactly like how I described how I wanted my first time
to be before it ended up being at a teenage boy’s messy
bedroom.

There are rose petals everywhere, on the floor and on

the bed. The whole room is lit with vanilla scented
candles and there’s an ice-bucket with a bottle of wine,
some strawberries and chocolate. I used to watch this in
movies so I wanted it for myself too.

All I can say is, we made passionate love the whole night,
if I wasn’t on birth control, we probably would have
came back pregnant.
....to be continued.
*
*
*
*
Note: unedited.
....continuation.
We get home the following day at about 1 pm. I don’t
waste any time, I just take my car and I drive to Sli’s place
to fetch my baby. She’s a handful but I always miss her
the minute she’s not with me.

I’m welcomed by her and her friend running to jump on

me.
“Mommy what did you bring us?”
“Yeah what did you bring us?” Kuchi echoes. No
greetings.
“Is that all I’m good for? Bringing something?”
“Nooo..” They both chorus.
I give them the McDonald’s happy meals I got on the way
because I knew they were going to ask me what did I
brought them and I make my way to find my skat.
“Mommy what did you bring me?” she says imitating the
kids when I enter her bedroom. I laugh climbing on the
bed next to her.
“I brought you cuddles.” I say embracing her.
“Oh my God get off me!” she says.
“But I want to cuddle, best friend cuddles.”
“You so annoying.”
“I love you!”
“I love you too now get off me!” she says pushing me.
What kind of best friend is this? Anyone who wants to be
my new best friend?
“Why are you sleeping at this hour?”
“That’s what I do if I’m not at work because some of us
don’t have boyfriends to entertain us!” she rolls her eyes.
I blush.
“Where’s Loyiso?” I’m trying to annoy her.
“He is not my man B.”
“What is he? A fuck buddy?” I ask giggling.
“Your man is making you really happy neh?” she says
giving me that ‘look at you’ look.
“He is. Guess what?” I smirk.
“What?”
“His divorce was finalized! I’m not with a married man
anymore; you know how I felt about that.”
“So Moghel agreed to leave just like that? He must have
threatened to kill her or something.” She whispers.
“Don’t be silly. He’ll be paying spousal support every
month.”
“Really? How much?”
Is she even allowed to ask me this question?
“I don’t know and frankly I don’t care. As long as she’s
out of our lives.”
“Bitch you should care, that’s your man’s money!”
“Exactly. His money not mine.” I say firmly. She just
shakes her head.
“Anyway your hair looks boss.” She points out.
“You like? My hair? Gee thanks, just bought it..” I sing
and I flick my hear. It’s a line from Ariana Grande's song –
7 Rings.
“Okay did you get some before coming here? Cause only
dick can put you in such a great mood.”
“Ugh Sli I’m happy to see you!..Anyway you know it’s my
birthday next weekend, we should do something fun.” I
suggest.
“Unfortunately I’ll be out of town for work.” She frowns.
“Well that sucks. I wanted us live a bit, I mean when
last?”
“I’m not going to die, I’ll come back and I’ll make it up to
you. And you have a man now I don’t know what the hell
you need me for.”
“Come on, you know I always spend my birthdays with
you.”
“And I was thinking about your gift. What do you buy a
woman who already owns everything she wants? Your
man is making this really hard for me hey.”
“It’s the thought that counts.” I say. She shrugs.

We continue chatting about everything. Honestly guys I

think my friend is in love with Loyiso but she’s too scared
to get hurt that’s why they doing whatever they doing
and not committing in a serious relationship. Sli may
seem like a hardcore bitch but trust me, she has a soft
vulnerable side to her.
We ended up leaving very late. Every time I told Quinn
we have to go she kept telling me five more minutes, I
had to tell her Jase is waiting for us for her to get in the
car. I don’t know, it’s like Jason is the best that has ever
happened to her and I’m just second best, it’s a bit
annoying really.

As I’m driving with this blabber mouth on the passenger

seat telling me about her weekend, a white Hyundai i10
driving in the opposite direction flashes its light at me. I
swear it’s the same car I found parked in the yard when I
found that girl in Jason’s house a few months back. What
could possibly bring her this side of town cause I stated
clearly to Jason that she should never come back here.
Or maybe I’m just paranoid? Maybe she wasn’t even at
my man’s house. Guys you have to understand being a
rich bachelor’s girlfriend who can get any girl he wants is
an extreme sport. I know I’m a very beautiful woman
with an almost perfect body (the gym working wonders)
but sometimes that is just not enough. If Jay-Z can cheat
on Beyoncé why shouldn’t I be worried? Now asking
Jason about it would make me seem like a whiney
insecure girlfriend and I know that pushes a lot of guys
away. I have to make him believe I trust him.

We get to the house and while Quinn is busy running

around playing with Jason, I’m here looking for any sign
that that girl was here. But he wouldn’t be stupid enough
to bring a girl over while I’m gone when MaDlamini is
here so I’ll just let it pass. And plus I don’t want to spoil
the great mood the house.
---
I’m turning 24 today. I’m very grateful to God for blessing
me with yet another year and just everything cause to be
honest at this point I can’t complain about anything. The
dark cloud that seemed to be hanging over me is finally
gone and my life is smooth again.

I wonder where the hell is Jason. I always wake up next

to him and he just had to pick my special day to not be
next to me when I open my eyes? Sad.

I go through all my birthday messages on my phone and

on my social media, I already feel like crying. I don’t know
why but I always get emotional on my birthdays. My
sister sent me a voice message singing happy birthday,
that’s how cheap she is. I mean it would have been nice if
she called me but it’s better than nothing I guess.

Quinn walks in the bedroom with Jason carrying a

cupcake with one candle as I’m still going through my
messages. She starts singing happy birthday to you.
“Nooo…” I pull the covers over my head. I’m going to cry.
She climbs on the bed and she tries to uncover my face
while still singing with her cute little voice. She’s singing
alone, so Jase won’t even sing for my birthday?
Yikes!
“Happy birthday my love.” He says handing me the
cupcake. I’m blushing.
“Mommy you have to make a wish before you blow the
candle!”
“Okay..” I close my eyes for a few seconds. Sorry guys but
I can’t tell you what I wished for, I don’t want to
jeopardize it. Even though it’s kind of obvious, yes it is
what you’re thinking. After blowing the candle I put the
cupcake on the pedestal.
“Thank you so much, this is really special.” I say smiling at
both of them.
“Look I have something else for you.” Quinn hands me a
small jewelry box. What is this now? I take it and I open it
with anticipation. I see a gold band ring with just a white
pearl on top. It’s so classy, it’s looks like something you’d
find on Queen Elizabeth’s finger, it has that royal
element to it.

“This is really beautiful.” It really is. I take it out of the

box to look at it properly. It’s genuine gold and a real
pearl.
“I love it nana. Which finger do you want me to put it
on?” I give her my right hand to pick.
“On this one.” She says pointing at my index finger.
“Good choice.” I slide it on my finger.
“It looks perfect. Can I have some huggies please.” I say
pulling her to my embrace and I kiss her cheeks. “Thank
you so much baby. You’re the best daughter in the whole
world you know that?” She giggles and nods lol this child.
I look at Jason, I know he’s responsible for all of this.
I send Quinn to go and put the cupcake in the fridge
cause I won’t eat it now.

“Thank you babe I really love this ring.” I say to Jason

when Quinn walks out. He smirks and kisses my lips.
“She bought it for you though.” He says. As if.
“I know.” I say and I kiss him too.
“So what are your plans for today? What are you going to
do?”
“Honestly I just want to spend my day with you.” I can
never get bored of him.
“You know what? Why don’t you spend the day with Q,
I’ve already booked you guys at a spa for the whole day
but you cancel it if you want to do something else and I’ll
take you out for dinner later.” He suggests. He’s so
considerate; I thought he was going to want me all to
himself the whole day.
“Aww that’s very sweet I’d love that. And where are you
planning on taking me?”
“It’ll be a surprise.”
“You know I don’t like surprises so just tell me.”
“Trust me you’ll love this one. Now get up birthday girl.
You want me to drive you there or you’ll drive?”
“It’s fine I’ll drive. Can I take the Mercedes?” I don’t
know, out of all his cars there’s just something I love
about the G-Wagon.
“Babe you know you can take whichever car you want to
take, you don’t even have to ask.”

I made him shower with me again cause he had already

showered. I wanted a quickie but he refused me, can you
imagine? He just said “you’re always horny my love.”
Very rude. I ended up giving him head which made my
knees red from kneeling so I couldn’t wear the short
dress I had planned to wear.

I’m driving to the spa with my kid. We’re listening to

Beyoncé’s album Lemonade on shuffle and Formation is
currently playing.

“cause I slay I slay I slay I slay all day I slay…” Quinn sings
with me echoing “okay..” The song is cut off by an
incoming call, it’s my mother so I answer while it’s still
connected on the car via Bluetooth.

“Mama.”
“Bulelwa are you well?”
“Yes Mama I’m very well and you?”
“I’m okay. I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Are
you home?” I don’t know what she means by ‘home’.
“Thank you. No I’m on my way to the spa with Quinn.”
“Oh that’s wonderful. Tell my baby I said hello.”
“She can hear you. Say hi to Gogo.”
“Hi Gogo.” She says.
“Hi my baby I miss you so much, when will you visit me?”
“Uh..tomorrow.” Lies, I’m not going home tomorrow - I
think to myself.
“Okay I’ll be waiting for you. I love you.”- Mom.
“I love you.” Quinn replies.
“Okay. Enjoy your day Bulelwa. Bye bye.” She says and
drops the call.
“Awkward.” I say under my breath.
Ever since I moved in with Jason my relationship with my
mom hasn’t really been great. I don’t visit her anymore
just to avoid fighting with her but I’m glad she called. It
gives me the assurance that she still loves and cares
about me.

The spa was great. I was a bit skeptical about spending

my birthday at a spa, I mean it’s not something I’d
normally do for my birthday but I’m glad I did. I feel
good, I feel rejuvenated and plus I got to bond with my
baby, we were well pampered. We even had a nice lunch
with some cocktails, a virgin cocktail for her of course.
She was entertaining the stuff with her big mouth, she
even said she wants us to go there for her birthday as
well.

We started at the shopping centre to pick up a few things

before driving back to the house and Quinn insisted I buy
a birthday cake for myself.
---
Jason told me I should be ready by 6 pm. I don’t know
where the hell he went to. You know being the man that
he is, I expected him to do something extravagant for my
birthday, not just dinner. But it’s okay, maybe birthdays
aren’t that big of a deal to him. But I’m definitely getting
my birthday sex this evening, it’s not negotiable. Damn
I’ve become a sex addict hey? But trust me you would
too if you were getting it from Jason. I’m not saying you
should try it though, I’ll kill you.

It’s still 4 pm but I take a shower cause doing my face

takes a lot of time. I’ll be wearing that black Versace
dress I never got to wear that day I found out about his
ex-wife (it feels so good to say that). One of the things I
love about that dress is that it complements the shape of
my body perfectly.

After my shower, I sit down to do my make-up while

listening to Kanye West of course. I’m really in a great
mood. If only my friend was here, we would be turning it
up right now. You see, it’s not safe to have only one
friend.
It’s already 5.15, I did say my make-up takes a lot of time
especially the eyebrows - an extreme sport. I’ve laid my
dress on the bed but I still haven’t decided which shoes I
want to wear. I’ll ask for Jason's opinion when he gets
here. In fact let me call him, I miss him already. He
doesn’t pick up so I sit on the couch in the bedroom and I
close my eyes, I suddenly feel sleepy.

I’m just about to doze off when I feel cold lips against
mine. I open my eyes and I smile.
“Why are you sleeping? You okay?”
“I’m fine I was waiting for you.”
“I thought I was going to find you dressed already, this is
for you.” He says handing me a single red rose.
“Awww thank you baby.” He’s so romantic.
“Get dressed, I’ll take a shower in the meantime.”
“I was going to join you if I didn’t have my make-up on
already.” I bite my bottom lip. He looks at me like he’s
contemplating something.
“Let me go or else I’ll be forced to take a cold shower.”
he gets in the bathroom. I laugh alone.
I put on my dress and my jewelry and I fix my hair. I take
a look in the full length mirror, I look stunningly amazing!
Man does Jason realize how lucky he is to have such a
beautiful girlfriend?

I go to Jason’s closet to pick out his suit. All his suits are
fancy so it’s a bit hard to pick but I find the perfect one. I
don’t even know where we going but I’m quite sure
we’re going to a very high-profile restaurant. I just hope
he didn’t book the whole restaurant out again.

He comes out of the shower butt naked, this guy.

“Goddamn babe!” his eyes are all out.
“What?”
“This level of beauty is a crime you know that? You want
to get arrested?”
“Quit fooling around Jase and get dressed.”
“You picked this suit for me?”
I nod.
“But I was just going to wear jeans and a blazer.” He says.
“No I want you to wear this suit.” I say. He shrugs.
“Anything for my lady.” He says taking the suit.
“Which shoes should I wear between these two?” I ask
showing him a pair of red Christian Louboutin heels and
black Stuart Weitzman heels.
“These would match your dress.” He says pointing at the
black shoes. I’m a woman in black then. I take out my
tiny sparkly clutch bag, also black.

We're both looking good and ready to go. If we come

back early enough I’ll suggest we go to a club or
something, I want to turn up!
As we walk down the stairs, he walks behind me. I stop.
“Why are you walking behind me?”
“I’m loving the view.”
I roll my eyes and I carry on walking.

I find Quinn in her room putting together a puzzle. She

widens her big eyes and her jaw drops when she sees
me.
“Mama you look beautiful.”
“Why thank you baby. Mommy is going somewhere with
Jase, be good okay? I’ll see you later.”
“Okrrr.”
I’m surprised she’s not asking me where are we going
and why can’t she come with us.
“Give me a kiss.” I say and I peck her lips. I know I’ll
probably see her tomorrow.
“I love you.”
“I love you too.” She says.
I’m glad Jason made me spend the day with her cause I
would have felt bad leaving her now.

We get in the Bentley. I’m surprised cause we hardly use

that car.

We get on the highway. Now I’m completely lost cause it

seems as if we’re going out of town. I’ve stopped trying
to talk to him cause he keeps giving me one word
answers. Maybe he’s just scared he’ll accidentally spill
where we going. So now we’re just listening to music.
After like a 45 minute drive, we get to this place which
looks like a stadium but not really a stadium. What is this
now? I’ve never been to a place like this so I have no idea
what is going on.
“You ready?”
I want to ask “what for?” but I just nod. He gets out of
the car to open my door and he takes my hand. I am so
lost it’s not even funny. I’m getting a bit nervous too, I
mean what if he brought me here to kill me?
“Relax.” He says but he is anything but relaxed.
He takes my hand and he leads me through the entrance.
This place looks like a restaurant with no tables. It’s more
like an open kitchen; I’m seeing people wearing chef
uniforms. Did we come here for cooking lessons? I know
my cooking sucks but I never thought it was that bad.

Jason greets the chefs with just a way and we walk

through to an exit on the side.

Okay it’s not a stadium it’s an open field, there’s just a

dinner table right in the middle which looks like some
sort of machine and there are people sitting around.
“What is going on?” This shit is really freaking me out.
“Come on, you’ll see.” He says and we walk closer.

The first person I spot is my sister. And then sitting right

next to her is Sli! What the..I see his sisters Hlelo and
Reneilwe and his friends Loyiso, Dom and Siya. Oh my
goodness! I feel like screaming!

We have to climb a few steps cause this thing is on some

sort of platform. “Happy birthday!!!” they all shout when
we get to the top. I’m so mad at these bitches, I mean I
talk to them via text almost every day but no one cared
enough to give me heads up on what is going on. I’m just
standing there grinning in astonishment.

Sli gets up from her seat and she comes to give me a hug.
“Bitch look at you, you look stunning!” she’s says.
“I’m going to fucking kill you! Why didn’t you tell me
what is going on?” They all laugh. This girl lied and said
she’ll be away for work.
“It’s called a surprise for a reason and I’d rather be killed
by you than your man.” She says taking her seat again.
“In fact, I’m going to kill all of you!” I say walking around
to greet his sisters and my sister. I just wave to the guys
cause I can’t really give them hugs too, that would be
awkward.

Jason opens the chair for me before taking his seat

across me.

I’m still overwhelmed right now so I’m just trying to calm

down and take in everything. Everyone looks amazing by
the way. I see their champagne glasses are already half-
empty.

“This is a great surprise babe, I never would have

guessed it.” I say looking at Jason. I don’t know why he’s
sitting across me cause he should be sitting right next to
me. He looks at me and he smirks.
There’s another table in the middle with all the food but
it’s covered. Our waiters for the night introduce
themselves and they instruct us to buckle our seatbelts.
Seatbelts? And then it hits me, dinner in the sky! Okay
it’s confirmed I have the best boyfriend in the world, this
is so special.

After they made sure everyone is buckled safely, the

thing takes off. Now I’m a bit scared of height but I can
handle it. Why didn’t Jason sit next to me though? I want
to hold his hand.

Looking at all the city lights from up here, God it’s so

beautiful. It doesn’t even feel like I’m on earth right now,
it’s like we’re on space or something.
“Babe do you realize how beautiful this is?” I’m trying to
take a few pictures on my phone.
“It’s not as beautiful as you though.” He says. I hear
“Awww” from the ladies. I’m blushing like a high school
kid. Babalwa and Reneilwe have been taking selfies non-
stop, typical teenagers.
After the second round of champagne, everyone is
relaxed and having conversations with everyone but I’ve
noticed Jason is a man of very few words tonight. I think
he’s secretly scared of height and I find it cute. Sli has
swapped seats with Babalwa so she can sit next to Loyiso
lol I told you she’s in love. And by the way Loyiso looks at
her, I think he’s in love too.

Have you noticed how time flies when everyone is having

a good time? The last time I had such a special birthday
was on my 9th birthday, my last birthday with my father.
I was daddy’s girl, used to get everything I wanted from
him. Sli and my other university friends also tried shame
when they threw me a surprise 21st birthday party.
Other than that, I just go to the club and get drunk.

The waiter says ‘Mr Party' asked to say a few words

before they serve us dessert. I give Jason the ‘oh really?’
look. He looks at me and clears his throat. I’m trying
really hard not to laugh right now. He gets up from his
seat and he starts singing happy birthday walking all
around to where I’m seated. God his voice is making me
weak right now.
He takes my hand and he continues singing looking into
my eyes. Why is he doing this? I don’t want to cry in front
of these people. He stops singing and he takes a deep
breath.
“You know…sometimes when I think about our
relationship, I wonder what does the future hold for us?
What surprises are right around the corner? But one
thing I know for sure is with you by my side, I know that
life will always be exciting. You are the only person in the
world I can imagine building a life with. My heart has
chosen you and I couldn’t agree more with it. You have
taught me how to be a man, how to love unconditionally.
Ever since you came into my life everything started
making sense, I started to live the life I’ve always wanted
to live. You have shown me love that one else in this
world has shown me. I just want you to trust that you’re
driving on the right lane, I know there will be bumps on
the road but I am here to make sure you don’t crash and
burn.” I’m already feeling a lump rising in my throat as
he’s speaking. I’m pretty sure everyone is confused right
now about the driving on the right lane part, but I get
him.
“There is no one I would rather spend my future with
than you.” He continues and he gets on one knee. What
the… Noooooo! No way! He can never! He takes out the
box from his pocket.

“Oh My God…” I say covering my face with my hands.

“I told you she’s going to cry.” I hear my sister say and
I’m hearing “Aww” from the others. So they all knew
about this? I can’t believe this is actually happening! Oh
my word!

“Bulelwa Mihlali Nzimande would you make me the

happiest man alive, would you be my wife?” he says. Can
someone tell me I’m dreaming! I never saw this one
coming Jesus Christ! I gather my strength.
“Yes.. Of course!” I say in a hoarse voice. Everyone
cheers. I notice Hlelo is crying too, well at least I’m not
the only baby here. Babalwa and Reneilwe are capturing
the whole thing on their phones.
“Babe you do know you have to give me your hand for
me to put the ring?” He says. Oh yeah. I give him my
hand.
“Your right hand?” he asks smirking.
God my brain is not functioning properly right now and
these bitches are laughing at me mxm.
“Oh sorry.” I give him my left hand. Woah this is the most
beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. The stone is big but not
dramatically big. It beams when I move my hand.
“I love it.” I say admiring my hand, I love everything
about it. I get up and I pull him up too, I don’t know why
he’s still kneeling. I wrap my arms around him.
“I love you.” I say looking into his eyes. He wipes my
tears before kissing me. I thought he was going to give
me just a baby kiss but he goes for a proper one, yes in
front of all these people. I’m so happy, my heart is
twerking.

“Okay this is getting awkward.” I hear someone say and

I’m pretty sure it’s my sister but we don’t stop.
“Okay let’s go and pop some bottles and celebrate!” Sli
shouts.
“Yeah!” that’s Reneilwe which catches Jason’s attention.
He turns to her.
“Yeah what? You and Bebe are going back to the house
to sleep.”
“What? That’s not fair!” she whines.
Babalwa’s face right now, it’s like her eyes are about to
pop out, it’s funny.
“Bulelwa..” Reneilwe says giving me the ‘do something’
look. What does she expect me to do? My fiancé, did you
hear that? My fiancé has spoken and I can’t argue with
him so I just shrug.

We drive back to the house to change these fancy

clothes for something proper for the club. These people
had this all planned out without my concern, Sli even
brought her outfit so she doesn’t have to drive back to
her place.

I keep looking at my left hand every 5 seconds. I’m not

sure how many pictures of my ring I’ve taken already.
Dear Lord God, if this is a dream please don’t wake me
up, let it go on ‘til eternity.
He takes my hand leading me upstairs. We get in the
bedroom and he shuts the door and pushes me against
it. I kind of expected this would happen. He starts kissing
me uncontrollably. I want this as much as he wants it so I
start taking off his coat. He grabs my dress roughly.
“Please be careful with my dress babe.” This is Versace
people. I’m already feeling the erosion and breathing
heavily. He takes it off carefully and as soon as it lends on
the floor, he picks me up and I wrap my legs around his
waist. We continue kissing when we should be changing.
He moves to the bed and just as he lays me, we hear a
knock on the door. We both freeze, we didn’t lock the
door and it could be anyone.

“Guys please I know you’re crazily in love right now but

there’s no time to fuck.” That’s Sli’s very loud voice, gosh
my child is sleeping in a room just down the hallway.
After saying that we here her walk away. He doesn’t
waist any time, he starts kissing me again but I put my
hand over his mouth.
“We have to get ready.”
“But…” he points at his erection. I can’t help laughing.
“You’ll be fine.” I push him off me gently.
I put on a short black long-sleeved jumpsuit, the top part
is lace which practically looks like lingerie, very sexy. I
pair it with my black thigh-high boots. I know if it was a
normal day Jason wouldn’t approve of this look but I
think I’ll get away with it cause it’s my special day. This
stone on my left hand is making me look even more
sexier yazi.

It literally took Jason 5 minutes to get dressed and he left

me here cause he says I’m taking forever. I sit down in
front of the mirror just to retouch my make-up.

“A makoti isn’t allowed to look this sexy.” That’s Hlelo

walking in just as I finish applying the lipstick. I just smile
cause I know she’s joking. She looks sexy as well.
“I got you something for your birthday.” She says
handing me a small gold jewelry box with a pink ribbon.
“Oh thank you.” I say opening it. It’s a silver bracelet
written ‘newly engaged’ .
“This is cute, thank you.” I say putting it on. I’m receiving
a lot of jewelry today.
“Okay please tell me how long have you known about
this whole engagement thing because clearly everyone
knew but me.” I say. She giggles.

“Honestly I knew the first time Lisebo told me about you.

The way he spoke about you, I just knew he had found
the one. At that time I knew there were problems
between him and Katlego but they weren’t divorced
obviously. I actually encouraged him to end things with
her so that they can both move on cause it wasn’t fair on
her side. No doubt, everyone knew there was no love in
that marriage. You know whenever Lisebo was asked to
sing he would refuse and say the only time he’ll sing is on
his wedding day when his wife walks down the aisle and
when that did not happen on his wedding with Katlego, I
just knew it wasn’t what he wanted. He might have hid it
from everyone else but I know him, I knew he was not
happy. The way he spoke about you that day I helped
him pick that Prada bag for you, I just knew we were
going to have another wedding with someone he actually
loves and adores. I was happy for him even though I
never knew you at that time, seeing him happy made me
happy. Had it not been for his delayed divorce, I think he
would have popped the question sooner than this and
you would be married and probably pregnant by now.”
She says poking my flat belly.

Hearing everything she has just said makes very happy

and certain about Jason’s love for me. Not that I was
doubting him but sometimes a little assurance is needed.
I’m also getting a bit emotional too.

“You want to make me cry again? I’m very happy to hear

that but I also feel bad for Katlego, I mean it’s not a nice
thing for any woman to go through. What if she really
loved him and thought he genuinely loved her too? She
seemed really broken when I saw her that day at the
mall.”

“It’s not a nice thing to go through but trust me deep

down she knew, she knew the love was not there from
the beginning and I think she saw this coming.” She says.
I sigh.
“I just hope she finds love too you know..”
She smiles.
“She will. She’s a lovely woman..why are we even talking
about her?” she says and I laugh. “I’m just happy you’re
going to be my sister in-law.” She says.
“Me too. And thank you for the gift again.”

I take my phone and we walk out. When we walk pass

Quinn’s bedroom, I open the door and I pop in my head
just to check if she’s sleeping properly.
“I checked on her earlier and I was hoping she was still
awake. You know every time I see her it’s like my baby
fever raises to a hundred.”- Hlelo.
“She’ll be very happy to see you here in the morning.
She’s always asking me
‘mommy when are we going on a plane again so we can
see aunt Hlelo.’”
“She should just come and stay with me.”
“Yhu I’d die!” we both laugh.

We meet Sli downstairs posing while Reneilwe is taking

pictures and Babalwa “the future model” is showing her
different poses. She looks very sexy, everyone be looking
sexy tonight. The two teenagers are already in their
pajamas shame. We join the mini photo shoot as well, I
also take a few selfies on my phone and I make sure my
left hand is showing in every picture lol leave me alone.

Sli is driving with Hlelo and I’m driving with my fiancé.

He’s sitting on the passenger seat with his hand on my
thigh stroking it with his thumb.
“You look very sexy when you’re driving.” He says.
I blush.
“But there’s nothing sexy about driving babe.”
“I know but you somehow make it sexy, in fact you make
everything you do look sexy like the way you sleep, the
way you eat, the way you sit on the toilet seat-” I have to
cut him off.
“Oh God stop! This was all cute, why you got to bring in
the toilet now?”
“Why? Don’t you use it?” he smirks.
“I didn’t say I don’t use it but it ain’t cute.”
“But your shit smells like sweet roses.”
What?
“Jase!…what is wrong with you today?”
“I’m happy. It’s your birthday but you gave me the best
gift I could ever ask for, you’re going to be my wife.”
His wife. Hearing him say those words does something to
my body.
“No you gave me the best that I’ve ever known. Thank
you for choosing to spend the rest of your life with me. I
know that I’m far from perfect but you still put up with
me. Thank you for loving me despite my shortcomings
and my imperfections. Thank you for accepting and
loving my child as your own, I can never thank you
enough for that. I know you have a lot on your plate but
you still make it a point to make me feel like a queen
every single day. I’m grateful for everything you have
done for me and I am more than proud to be your
fiancée.” I’m surprised I’m not crying already, I’m
growing up.
“You’re a blessing to me. You are my queen and my job is
to make you feel like one for the rest of you life.” He
kisses my hand. I give him a smile.
“I wouldn’t be a queen if you weren’t a king.”
“Touché.” He says with an arrogant smile. Why do I love
this idiot?

I’m not surprised Sli and Hlelo got here before us

because Sli doesn’t drive, girl flies on the road.
I’m glad the club is not fully packed as usual. I don’t like it
when it’s too crowded, it makes me uncomfortable.
No wait, I think these people booked the club cause it
seems as if Jason knows everyone here. Random people
I’ve never even met keep coming to me to congratulate
me. Like I haven’t even told my family yet or even posted
on my social networks but strangers already know. I
know Jason is behind all of this, these are his people.

I’m dancing with my man and the DJ keeps dropping all

my favourite hits. When he played Kanye West I literally
lost it and started grinding for my man. I may not know
how to sing but I have a very flexible body, I can imitate
any dance move. And then my man on the other
hand..lol let’s just say he can move to the music.
Just as he pulls me in for a kiss, Hlelo appears behind us
and she grabs my arm. Not roughly though.
“Sorry Lisebo I’ll bring her back.” She says and she walks
away with me still pulling me by my arm.

“I think your friend needs you.” She says. She pulls me

outside and we find Sli crying and screaming at Loyiso.
Oh no, can’t she not do this tonight?
“You’re a fucking asshole!” she’s still shouting. “Fuck you
Loyiso!”
“Fuck you too! Let’s go fuck each other then!” Loyiso
shouts back.

Honestly, I don’t want to get involved cause I know they

probably fighting over some petty shit, that’s how Sli gets
when she’s drunk and all we know she’ll be leaving with
the same guy she’s cursing right now.
“Sli.” I say.
“Shh!” She says indicating with her hand that I should
shut up. Okaaaay.
“Leave them, they’ll be fine.” I tell Hlelo. I don’t want
anything to ruin my night.
“You sure she’s okay?” she looks worried.
“Trust me she’ll be fine. Come on, my fiancé is waiting
for me.” I say walking back inside.
“Did I tell you how happy I am that you’re going to be my
sister in-law?” she says.
“Yeap, for the 100th time now.” I think she’s a bit tipsy
now. Everyone is getting drunk but me. I’ve had so many
shots but nothing. I think I’m too excited to get drunk.

Siya has been hitting on Hlelo the whole night and Hlelo
is having none of that. Well I don’t blame her, you see
Hlelo is a proper lady. You’ll never find her shouting or
laughing out loudly and I’ve never heard her saying
things like the F-word. And Siya on the other hand
is…well let’s just say he’s a carvella wearing guy with a
silver tooth. And Hlelo has even made it clear that she
has someone special in her life.

I find Jason talking to some guy I don’t know. When he

sees me, he comes and wraps his arms around me.
“I missed you.” He says. Looking over his shoulder I
notice someone I shouldn’t be seeing here. What the hell
is she doing here?
*
*
*
*
Quite long I know, I'm sorry. Now I'll see you when all my
posts get at least 50 likes 🚶🏻 🚶🏻 🚶🏻 No I'm kidding
🤣..working on the next chapter. Thank you for reading
and the support lovies 💕
Chapter Eleven
She’s sitting on the couch looking very miserable. Who
invited her?
“What is she doing here Jason?” I ask trying to keep my
voice moderate.
“Who?” he asks.
“Her.” I point with my eyes. He turns around.
“Come on babe there are lot of “Hers” here.”
“Stop it you know who I’m talking about.” I’m really
trying my best not to get angry right now. He scratches
his chin.
“Uh..I invited my whole stuff, I didn’t know she was going
to show up as well. I can tell her to leave.”
I take a deep breath.
“No it’s okay.” Even though I feel like dragging his
“receptionist” (I even forgot her name) out of here
myself, I have to show Jason that I trust him and that he
didn’t make a mistake by choosing to spend the rest of
my life with him.
“You sure?” he asks like he’s surprised by what I just said.
“Mhm.” I nod. “She’s not bothering anyone anyway.” But
I’ll be keeping my eye on her.

Besides everything else, the party is actually popping but

I want to go home now. I’m finally drunk and I’m very
horny, I don’t know why I always get horny when I’m
drunk. It’s like the alcohol passes my stomach and shoots
straight to my clitoris.
I check the time, it’s 3.15 am. Yeah we definitely should
leave now. I tell Jason I want to leave and what the
queen wants, the queen gets.

As we’re about to get in the car I hear Sli shouting my

name and I turn around. She rushes to me carrying a gift
bag.
“Look I forgot to give you your gift, it was in the car the
whole time.”
I also forgot I was supposed to receive a gift from her.
“Aww thank you my Skatty.” I give her an air kiss.
“Use it tonight.” She whispers in my ear and she walks
away. Lol tonight? It’s almost dawn!
“Who you leaving with?” I shout.
“Loyiso!” she yells back. See? I told you.

We get in the car, Hlelo is driving cause she’s the only

one who seems to be on her senses right now. Jason and
I get in the backseat.
We’re cuddling and kissing and touching each other in
weird places. He’s also very drunk cause I know he
wouldn’t be doing all of this with his sister in the car. I
pull out his dick and I give him head. Even if Hlelo turned
around, she wouldn't see anything cause it’s dark. I can
tell Jason is holding back his moans by the way he’s
gripping my hair. He releases in my mouth and I swallow.
Yes I swallow his sperms, you’re allowed to gag.

We get home but we remain in the car. As soon as Hlelo

gets inside the house, Jason and I start kissing
uncontrollably, I’ve been dying to do this.
“I love you so much I think I’m going crazy.” He says in
between the kiss.
I laugh and I kiss him deeper. He attempts to take of my
bodysuit but he’s struggling.
“Damn baby why did you wear this thing?” he sounds
frustrated.
I help him get the top part of my jumpsuit off and he just
pulls the whole thing down to my ankles over my boots. I
pull it off my ankles together with my underwear so I can
open my legs properly for him. His dick is out looking
very delicious like I need him inside me right now. He
enters me so smoothly I cry out arching my back. The car
is very spacious so it’s nothing uncomfortable.

He’s really serving me and I’m full already. I let go and my

body trembles with pure pleasure. He pulls out and he
steps out of the car pulling my hand too.
“Babe I’m naked.” I protest.
“I know.” He says before picking me up and he places me
on the car bonnet. Ohh. He gets between my legs and he
serves me again. I’m fully naked with just the boots on.
This has to be the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever
done. I’m a whore.

After a few minutes I feel my big O forming again.

“Lisebo..” I cry as I release. I don’t even care who hears
me right now.

I put back on the bottom part of my jumpsuit without the

underwear and I’m holding the top part to my chest just
to cover my boobs as we’re semi-tiptoeing upstairs.
Jason is topless.
---
I wake up and I’m alone in bed. Why am I naked? I look
around and I see my clothes scattered on the floor with
my boots and I suddenly remember what happened last
night, or rather earlier today.

I forgot we have visitors. I feel so sick, this alcohol

demon! What time is it anyway? I search for my phone
and I notice the ring on my finger. Omg this is real, I
wasn’t dreaming. Like can you guys believe that I’m going
to be someone’s wife? Me? Bulelwa? I don’t believe it.
My ring is so beautiful, I can’t get over it.

The time is 11.30 am, my goodness I’ve never slept ‘til

this late! I see tons of messages from Instagram and
Facebook, it’s people congratulating me on my
engagement. Who the hell told them? I see even my
family members from Eastern Cape know. I scroll down
my feed and I see Babalwa posted the video of the whole
engagement she took. God she’s so forward, who said
she should post that without my consent? Now everyone
knows, let’s hope no one has called my mom, damn
Babalwa!

I get up and I pick up my clothes and Jason’s clothes on

the floor, where is my underwear? I hope it’s in the car. I
make the bed before heading for a shower. I’m thinking
about how I’m going to break the news to my mother. I
don’t want her to make me choose between her and
Jason, she’s my mother. She should be supporting my
decisions not fight with me for being with the one man I
truly love. She’s the only thing that’s stressing me out
right now but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

I put on my simple red knee length skin tight dress with

white puma sneakers. I just remembered I didn’t open
the gift I received from Sli. The gift bag is sitting on the
nightstand. I open it. Holy crap! It’s a Victoria's Secret
lingerie. Wow Slindile. I’ve never owned any lingerie in
my life. I don’t even know what is expected when you’re
wearing it and it looks very uncomfortable. But
nonetheless I’m happy she got me something, it might
come in handy one day.
After hiding the lingerie, I head downstairs and I see
everyone but the one person I really want to see.
Where’s my fiancé?

Looks like everyone has already taken a shower and

looking fresh besides my daughter. She’s sitting on
Hlelo’s lap still wearing her pajamas and she’s busy on
Hlelo’s phone. Okay why is Hlelo giving me that look?
Like she knows my dirtiest secret?

“Mommy did you say yes?”

“Did I say yes?” Say yes to what? What is she talking
about?
“Jay said he’ll ask you to be his wife and if you say yes
he’ll give you the ring, did you say yes?”
What? So he actually spoke to her about the engagement
and she never mentioned a thing to me about it? We
even spent the whole day together but not even a hint,
which normal six year old does that? It makes me
wonder what else is she hiding. I’m disturbed.
“Yeah I said yes, so now I have two rings.” I show her
both my hands so she can see I’m still wearing the ring
she gave me as well.
“You going to have a wedding!” she says excitedly. I’m
glad she’s happy about it.
“Yeah.” I say blushing.
“Tomorrow?”
“No baby not tomorrow.” I say laughing, Hlelo is laughing
too.

MaDlamini walks in, she greets and she tells me my

breakfast is in the microwave. I’m not even hungry but I
thank her anyway.

I see Jason standing in the patio with Dom through the

glass door. Why is Dom here now?
I go there and I pop my head out. I greet Dom and I ask
to speak to Jason for a few seconds.
“Everything okay my love?” he asks when he walks in. I
wrap my arms around him.
“Can’t I come and say a proper good morning to my
fiancé who left me alone in bed?” I say and I kiss him.
“Fiancée was sleeping so peacefully and it would have
been rude of me to wake her.” He says and he kisses me.
“Ugh get a room!” that’s Reneilwe walking past.
“Hey this is our house!” Jason replies. I just laugh.

I leave Jason with his friend and I go back to the living

room to join Hlelo and Quinn.
“Nana your water is ready you can come for your bath.”
That’s MaDlamini.
“It’s okay Mah, I’ll do it.” I say getting up. I can’t let her
bathe my child whilst I’m just sitting here not doing
anything.
“Come on.” I say taking Quinn’s hand. “Give aunt Hlelo
her phone back please.”
“Mommy I want to go on your back.”
“You want to go on my back? Okay.” I crouch down so
she can get on my back.
“You must hop like a horsey all the way to the
bathroom.” She orders. Oh wow, maybe we should get
her siblings to play with cause I never signed up for this.
But I hop anyway.

I undress her and I put her in the bathtub.

“I’m going to fetch my phone I’ll be back just now.”
She nods and I walk out.

As I’m in the bedroom I hear screaming coming from

downstairs. That’s definitely my daughter and it didn’t
sound like a pleasant scream. I quickly rush downstairs
and I find MaDlamini and Babalwa already in the
bathroom.
“You okay baby?”
She’s looking puzzled and she’s breathing heavily.
“What happened?” I ask.
“It’s the old man.” She finally says in a low voice.
“What old man?” I’m confused.
“He was standing right there, he’s scary mommy.” She
says.
“Ohh imaginary stage, cute.” Babalwa says before
walking out.
I’m thinking why would my child imagine an old scary
man.
“Is it the same man from last night?” asks MaDlamini.
Quinn nods. What man are they talking about? I give
MaDlamini a questioning look.
“Did you tell mommy about your dream last night?”
MaDlamini asks again. Quinn shakes her head.
“What did you dream about?” I ask. She just looks at me
blankly.
“Last night she woke up screaming and I quickly went to
check on her, I found her sitting on the bed soaked in
sweat. She told me she saw an old scary man sitting on
the chair in her bedroom.” MaDlamini explains. Maybe
Babalwa is right, maybe she’s imagining things, but why
an old scary man though?
“Maybe she’s coming down with flu, I read somewhere
that flu for people her age can cause hallucinations.” I
say. MaDlamini nods but her face says she doubt that’s
the case. I’m also disturbed by this.
She turns to walk out but she stops.
“I almost forgot.” She reaches inside her apron pocket
and she pulls out the underwear I was wearing last night.
Geez woman!
“Do these perhaps belong to you? I found them on the
driveway.” she asks with a smile.
I know she knows they mine judging by the look on her
face.
“I..Uhm..”
“It’s okay, I can ask the other ladies if they’re not yours.”
“No! You can give them to me, I’ll ask them.” I say. She
smiles and she hands them to me.
“By the way, congratulations on your engagement.” She
says before walking out.

This woman knows what happened. Good job Bulelwa,

now how will I ever look at her in the eye? I also need to
delete the security footage from this morning before
anyone sees it.
---
I hear the noise outside has increased. I peek through the
glass door and I see Siya with some girl I’ve never seen
before clinging on him. Wasn’t he hitting on Hlelo just
yesterday? Men! And why are Jason’s friends coming
here? Who invited them?

I bump into him coming from the kitchen.

“Babe I’ve been looking for you.” He says.
“Oh sorry I was giving Quinn a bath.”
“The guys and I decided to have a little braai. I’ve asked
Hlelo to make some salads, you could help her if you
don’t mind.”
A braai? What for? I wanted my man all to myself today
but now he’ll be with his friends, ugh!
“Not at all. Who else is coming?”
“It’s just us three and Loyiso is on his way.”
“Okay I’ll tell Sli to come over too.”
“No problem. I’m just going out to get some stuff, do you
need anything?”
“You can buy some drinks for the ladies.” I don’t think I’ll
drink today and I don’t even know what miss thang
outside drinks.

I send Sli a text telling her to come over with Kuchi,

Quinn could use some company and stop clinging onto
Hlelo. They can even take a swim, the weather is lovely
outside.

I find Hlelo in the kitchen already started with the salad

making whilst having a very weird conversation with
Quinn sitting on the counter. The two teenagers are not
even helping, they always on their phones like wow. I
wash my hands and I join in.
“Aren’t you going to call the lady outside, I’m sure she
doesn’t want to hang with the guys the whole day.”-
Hlelo.
“I don’t even know her, it’s my first time seeing her.”
“Oh really? I thought you knew her. She came with that
Siya guy right? He should have at least introduced her.”
“I’ll tell Jason when he gets back to tell him she can come
and chill with us.” It would be awkward for me to call her
in when I don’t even know her name.

“Kuchi!” shouts Quinn excitedly when she sees Kuchi

running in the kitchen, Sli is following behind her.
“What’s up bleaches.” She says. We all know what she
meant to say if it wasn’t for the kids around.
“Aunt Hlelo this is my best friend Kuchi.”- Quinn.
“Oh hi Kuchi, nice to meet you.” Says Hlelo with a smile.
Kuchi just giggles. I order them to go and play in Quinn’s
room.
“Oh my God friend I didn’t realize your ring was this
beautiful.” Sli says taking my hand. “Bitch you’re really
engaged. Like can you believe it?”
“Honestly it hasn’t sunk in.” I say blushing.
“I’m ready to start with the wedding planning, it’s going
to be so much fun.” Wedding planning? I haven’t even
told my family and we still have to go through that lobola
process which I’m dreading, I already foresee drama.
“Slow down, I want to enjoy this engagement stage, I’m
not in a rush for anything.” She needs to relax.

She also washes her hands and she joins us. The process
is going really slow cause all three of us have long nails
and we we’re extra careful cause ladies you know how
painful it is when you accidentally chip that artificial nail
off.

We’re just talking about general stuff when we hear

moghel outside laughing out loudly.
“Who’s she?” asks Sli raising her eyebrows.
“I don’t know she came with Siya.” I reply.
“And why is she outside with the guys?”
“We didn’t know how to call her in.”
“You guys are messed up yazi.” She says leaving what
she’s doing and she walks to the door and she pops her
head out.
“Hey Mah! You can come this side!” she shouts. The fact
that she just called her Mah lol.
“Was that so hard?” she asks rolling her eyes at us.
The girl walks in and she greets. She seemed very pretty
from afar but… never mind. She tells us her name is
Thando and we also tell her our names. Apparently she’s
Siya’s girlfriend, if only she knew he was hitting on Hlelo
yesterday shame.

We continue with our light conversations but you call tell

miss Thando ain’t interested in chilling with us at all,
she’s just standing there busy on her phone. I offered her
something to drink and she refused. Maybe she’s just
shy, I don’t know.

Jason walks in carrying 3 bottles of champagne.

“Oooh moët my favourite.” That’s Thando pronouncing
moët with the t at the end. Sli and I look at each other
but I quickly look away cause I know she’s going to make
me lose it.
“Babe you’ve been gone for too long, I thought they had
kidnapped you.” I say to my fiancé. He places the bottles
on the counter and he comes close to me.
“Me? Kidnapped? Can never happen my love.” He says
before kissing me. “Let me ask Siya to get the rest of the
stuff in the car.” And just like that he walks out. You see
why I didn’t want his friends here?

Siya comes back with more bottles of different brands of

champagne. This is too much, I mean there are only 4 of
us here and minus me cause I don’t want to drink today.
Who will drink all of this?

The salads are done so we move to chill outside in the

backyard. The kids are enjoying themselves in the pool
with Hlelo watching them, she really loves kids. I’m
sitting on one of the pool chairs and Reneilwe and
Babalwa are sitting on a hammock across me. We offered
them some champagne too cause it’s just too much, but
we told them to hide it cause Jason wouldn’t approve. If
they get drunk then we’re all screwed.
I’m having a chat with Sli but she has her back against me
cause she’s smoking and she doesn’t want me to inhale
the smoke. Miss Thando has gone back to the guys and
we just let her be.
Someone comes behind me and they cover my eyes with
one hand. I know that scent and I know that aura, I can
never mistaken it for anything. I can also feel his
presence without even seeing him, it’s like we’re
connected on a spiritual level. “Jase…” I say smiling. He
uncovers my eyes and I realise Sli has disappeared.
“How did you know it was me?”
“I felt you. Your touch does something to my body which
nobody else can do.” He honestly has that effect on me.
“Hmm.” He smirks.
“What are you drinking?” He’s carrying a glass with
brown liquor in it.
“It’s cognac.”
“Can I taste it?” I’ve never tasted cognac before. He
hands the glass to me.
“No, you drink it I’ll take it from your mouth.”
“Even better.” He says before taking a gulp. I get up and I
take his face in my hands and he tries to transfer the
drink in my mouth but I swallow it immediately and we
end up kissing. We’re giving these teenagers a show but
they just sitting there busy on their phones like nothing is
happening, talk about zero appreciation.
“So how does it taste?” he asks licking his lips and he’s
still holding me by my waist.
“I didn’t taste that, you just gave me your saliva.”
“And how does my saliva taste?”
“Better than anything else I’ve ever tasted.” I bite my
bottom lip.
“Bulelwa you’re so gross.” That’s my sister pulling her
face. Finally some attention, my goodness!
“You just got my dick excited, let’s go inside.” He
whispers in my ear. I giggle.
“No we have guests.”
“It’ll be quick.” He whispers again. This is tempting but
no.
“Just go away!” I push him. He’ll make me hornier than I
already am.
“You guys are relationship goals actually.”- Reneilwe. Hey
now!
“Awww thank you Ree.” I’m smiling like an idiot.
“Wanky!” That’s my sister rolling her eyes.
“Don’t be jelly wena.”

Hlelo joins me. I don’t know where the hell Sli is but I
noticed Loyiso is not with the guys too. I just hope they
not somewhere in my man’s house having sex, that
would be so disrespectful.

She merges after about 20 minutes with a mischievous

smile on her face.
“Bitch where you’ve been?”
“I was giving that man the most amazing head he’ll ever
get in his life, you bitches missed me?” she says with her
very loud voice and with no care. Luckily Babalwa and
Reneilwe have moved from where they were sitting.
“Whaaat?” I’m not shocked.
“Yeah I was going to give you some tips but remembered
you don’t give head, such a bore.” She rolls her eyes.
“Bulelwa doesn’t give head? But weren’t you at it when
we were driving back from the club?” says Hlelo
smirking. Oh my God I thought she never saw that. This is
a bit embarrassing okay.
“Pause. Bulelwa did what? No it was probably the
alcohol, yeap definitely the alcohol, that’s the only way I
can believe it.”- Sli. I always used to vow that I would
never suck any man’s dick.
“She looked like a pro though.” Hlelo says laughing.
“No it wasn’t the alcohol and it wasn’t my first time
doing it.” I say simply.
“You bitch, you’ve been sucking dick and you don’t even
tell me!”
God Sli can’t control her loud voice.
“I don’t kiss and tell.” I smirk.
“Wow. I don’t believe this! What happened to ‘I would
never suck any man’s dick regardless of how much I love
him, unless if he really, like really earned it but it would
have to be in the shower cause I know it would be clean
and smelling of soap’?” she says supposedly
impersonating me. Those were the exact words I used to
say but Jason managed to change my whole mindset
about blow jobs.
“First of all, I don’t speak like that. Secondly, people grow
and they start seeing things differently Sli. I swallow too.”
“What??” they both say at the same time.
“Even I don’t swallow and I’m like the biggest sex freak.”-
Sli.
“You will when you find the one.” I say.
Hlelo gives me the look she gave me earlier. Oh she
definitely knows. She knows, MaDlamini knows, we
might as well tell the whole world that I’m a whore. No
joking bitch don’t spill my tea.
I place my finger on my lips indicating that she shouldn’t
tell. I’ll tell Sli myself some other time.
“Hmm B you see I always knew you were a freak despite
that miss innocent act you put up. I’m actually digging
that this side of you is slowly coming out now.”
What the hell? I’m not a freak and what innocent act is
she talking about? She’s crazy.
“I’m going to like this new Bulelwa. And you princess
Hlelo busy laughing, you also don’t give head?”
Hlelo’s face immediately turns blood red. Haibo what is
happening?
“I..I don’t.” she says laughing shyly. I can’t help laughing
as well, Sli will kill someone’s child. She’s even fanning
her face with her hand.
“You’re a bad liar Hlelo.” I say. She’s still blushing like
crazy, wow.

I randomly turn around and I see my man standing there,

I told you I could feel his presence. He’s not close enough
to hear the conversation we just had, thank god!
“Babe why are standing there? Are you okay?” I say loud
enough for him to hear me.
“No actually, come here I want to show you something.”
“Okay…” I say getting up. Sli smacks my butt, right in
front of my fiancé. It seems like they both obsessed with
my butt.

In the back of mind I’m thinking maybe he found out

those two teenagers are drinking alcohol and now I’m in
shit.
He leads me through the house to the front doors but he
covers my eyes before opening the door.
“Why are you covering my eyes Jase, I’ll fall.” What is he
doing?
“I’m here to hold you, you won’t fall.” he says as we walk
out. I can’t see anything. I just hope he’s not taking me to
his dog or something cause I’ll kill him.

We manage to make it down the few steps and I know

we’re on the drive way now. He finally uncovers my eyes.
“This is your birthday present.” He says.

I see a white Mercedes G-63 with a big black ribbon on

the bonnet. This man. I just look at him with my mouth
open.

“What is that look for? Here are the keys.” He smirks

handing them to me but I can’t seem to move nor utter a
word. I’m literally frozen.
“Baby, hello…” he waves his hand in front of my face.
I start screaming and I jump on him wrapping my legs
around his waist.
“If you carry on screaming like that the neighbours will
think we’re crazy.”
“I don’t care!” I say and then I burst into tears. The
gratitude I’m feeling right now, I will never understand
what exactly did I do to deserve such a man. Just when I
think he has done the most, he comes up with something
even better, like I really can’t with him.
“Kea leboha baby, I love it and I love you.” I say still
crying. He chuckles and he pulls me to his chest.
“That was cute hearing you speak Sotho. Anything for my
Queen.” He says kissing my forehead. I’d say this is the
best birthday gift ever but him asking me to his wife was
the ultimate. I mean I’m going to spend the rest of my
life with the love of my life. The car is second best.
I take the keys and I explore the car. I realize everything
is exactly like his, even the model; it’s just a different
colour. We’re matching – his and hers. I see a trend here,
I have two white cars now and all his cars are black.

Everyone came out to see my new ride, I even took

pictures with it. I’m at a point in my life where everything
is just perfect, like I’m genuinely happy and I’m living my
best life. I think I’ll love 24 if it’s going to be this good to
me.
*
*
*
*
Short and happy chapter 😊 I realized I passed 200 page
likes 🥳💃🏻 I appreciate it so much guys 🙏🏻 (please accuse
any errors, I'm lazy to edit.) 🙈
Chapter Twelve

It’s been a week since my engagement, our Joburg

visitors have already left and I’m driving my sister home
cause she stayed a little longer. I secretly didn’t want her
to leave cause I was scared she was going to accidently
blurt out to mom that I’m engaged, you know how she is
with her big mouth. But today I’m going to officially
break the news to her. I’ve never been this nervous in my
life, the worst that could happen is her telling me she
doesn’t give me her blessings. Not that it would make me
change my mind but it would definitely break my heart.
I’m even driving my old Audi because I don’t want her to
think I love Jason because of his money and the material
things, she’ll eventually find out about the car but just
not today.

Oh I forgot to tell you I received a call from my estranged

cousin Aviwe congratulating me on my engagement, she
also saw the video Babalwa posted on Instagram. Aviwe
is my mom’s sister’s daughter who stays in Australia now.
We used to be very close, when we were younger people
used to call us twins because we were inseparable and
apparently we look alike, they say I look more like her
than I look like my sister. We aren’t that close anymore,
we comment on each other’s social media and that’s it.
They moved to Australia right after she finished matric
and they’ve never came back ever since, even to visit.
But she promised me that she’s going to come for my
wedding and I’m happy cause I want us to rekindle our
relationship. We had a long chat on the phone and I
realised how much I actually miss her.

“It feels like I haven’t been here in like forever.” I say as I

park in my parent’s yard.
“Good luck with what you’re about to do.” Babalwa says
chuckling.
“Yeap, I definitely need it.” I take a deep sigh.

“Oh what a lovely surprise!” says Mom when she sees us

entering the house. Quinn runs to give her a hug, I can
literally feel my heart sitting in my throat.
“Hi Mama.” I say with an awkward smile.
“You okay?” she gives me a questioning look.
“Uh...yeah. Mama there’s something serious I need to
discuss with you.” I have to do this before my daughter
tells her I’m going to have a wedding, miss blabber
mouth. By the way I’m not wearing the ring right now; I
figured it would be better if I told her first than her
finding out from seeing me wearing the ring.
“Okay, we can go and talk in my room.” She says leading
the way. I feel like I’m about to die.

She sits on the bed and I sit next to her. I take a deep
breath before starting.
“Hayi Bulelwa you’re really scaring me now, you sure
everything is fine? Don’t tell me you’re pregnant again?”
she says.
“No Mah I’m not pregnant and everything is fine. The
thing is…Jason asked me to marry him.” I’m not looking
at her cause I know I just opened a can of worms.
“Oh…you didn’t say yes, did you?” and there it goes!
“Mama how can I not say yes when I also want to spend
the rest of my life with him?” I’m dreading what she’s
about to say next. She lets out a little chuckle.
“You know all this time I thought I had raised a smart
young woman but you just keep proving me wrong. I
don’t even know what to do or say at this point.” She’s
calm and I don’t know what that means.
“What you could do is be happy for me, I found someone
who genuinely loves me. Someone who makes me happy
every single day, for once my life feels complete. Isn’t
that what you want for me?” I’m trying not cry.
“Your naivety disappoints me. I thought you of all people
would know how men are, but clearly being left alone at
the age of 17 to raise a child on your own didn’t open
eyes.”
Why is she using my past against me?
“That is not fair.” I say in a low voice.
“What is not fair is watching you fall into a pit again
when I’m the one who’s going to have to nurse your
wounded heart, you want to put me in that situation
again? You think that’s fair?”
“Mah Jason is different, and I can assure you that if you
give him a chance he will prove to you that he’s
different.” She’s never even met him but she’s already
judging him.
“What about Benjamin?”
God she’s so obsessed with that man, I can’t.
“What about him?”
“You know he also wanted to give you the gift of being
his wife. Do you know how many girls pray for a man like
him every night?”
Gift of being his wife? Lol.
“But I don’t love him; I don’t even like him for that
matter. Him and I aren’t compatible. I’m sure even God
wouldn’t agree on a forced marriage.”
“Don’t even speak about God, ever since you started
seeing that stupid man you haven’t set your foot at
church and you think I’ll be delighted that he wants to
marry you?”
Eish that.
“But not going to church is my choice; he has nothing to
do with it. And he is a believer too. All I’m asking is that
can you please meet him before he sends his uncles to
get started with the lobola negation process.”
“You really serious? You honestly want to marry this
boy?” she says shaking her.
“I love him.” I say in low tone. She looks at my hands.
“Where’s the ring? You can’t tell me he asked with just
his mouth? That means he’s not serious.”
If only she knew how special the proposal was.
“No I have the ring, I took it off in the car cause I wanted
to tell you first.”
“Hmm.” She sighs.

So mom saw the ring and she just gave me that

“whatever” look. And we agreed that on Sunday I’m
going to come to church with Jason and we can all go and
have Sunday lunch at his house afterwards. Well we
didn’t really agree, I kind of forced her to agree. But at
least she took the news better than I thought, she
surprised me. I expected her to strangle me.

Quinn and I drive back to the house and I find my fiancé,

yes my fiancé please get used to it cause I’m going to use
this word a lot. Anyway I find him sitting on the bed with
his MacBook on his lap. He has a study but he always
says he prefers working in the bedroom cause he gets to
watch his soccer games whilst working.
“Guess what?” I say throwing myself next to him.
“You want me to close this computer and kiss you?” he
says closing the MacBook, he puts it aside and he starts
kissing me. I kiss him back for a few moments and I stop.
“You’re going to meet my mother on Sunday.”
“Hallelujah it’s about time I meet the woman who
brought me the most precious gift in this world.” He says
and he kisses me again. I blush.
“Don’t get too excited, Kate is not an easy woman.”
“Trust me, she’ll love me.”
“I love the confidence. I told her we’ll go to church on
Sunday and come back with her here to have lunch.”
His face immediately changes.
“I must go to church?” he asks as if he didn’t hear me
properly.
“Yes. I know how you feel about going to church and I
respect that but please just do it this one time. It’s the
only way of softening her.”
He sighs.
“If that’s what it takes okay, but just this once.” He says
firmly.
“I promise.” I say. He smiles and starts kissing me while
getting on top of me.
“Not now babe.. I have to go and make sure Quinn is
prepared for her big day tomorrow, remember?”
He gets off me slowly and I get off the bed.
“Don’t be gone too long...” he sings and I walk out
laughing.

The next day it was Friday and I took my daughter to her

new school for orientation day. Seeing her in a proper
school uniform made me somewhat emotional. Like she’s
growing up so fast and I hate that. Next thing I’ll find a
diary in her bag where she writes about a boy she has a
crush on, Jesus help me! She signed up for karate classes
cause she doesn’t want to do ballet anymore, like baby
why? Who you want to fight with? Yikes. I also took her
to the Salon cause we left the school early enough.

We spent Saturday indoors cause it was cold and raining.

My fiancé and I stayed in our bedroom almost the whole
day watching movies, cuddling and talking. Quinn was in
her bedroom doing her own things when we had her
screaming. We quickly rushed there and found her sitting
on the floor with her knees raised to chest looking
petrified. Turned out the old scary man visited her again.
The whole thing is really stressing me cause it was now
the 5th time this man visiting her, it can’t still be
hallucinations/imagination can it? I don’t know but my
gut feeling tells me it’s something deeper and you can
tell it’s torturing her which breaks my heart cause I don’t
know what to do, I feel helpless. If it continues I’ll take
her to the doctor or a psychiatrist or something but I
can’t just sit and do nothing about it.
---
I’m woken up by my alarm, I had set it for 6 am cause
we’re going to attend the morning service which starts at
8.30. I get up and shower first before waking up Jason to
shower whilst I go and give Quinn a bath. I wanted to
help MaDlamini with the cooking but she told me to
relax, everything will be ready when get back. God bless
her soul!

I dress my baby in her denim dungaree dress with a

white long-sleeved t-shirt underneath and those thick
pink stockings with boots. I asked her to grab her pink fur
coat cause it’s still cold even today.

I make my way to get dressed and I find Jason in his

underwear.
“Babe which one should I wear?” he has two very formal
fancy suits on the bed.
“You don’t have to be so formal, jeans with a shirt and a
blazer will be fine.”
“Jeans?” he asks with his brows wrinkle.
“Yeah it’s just church babe, we’re not going to a
wedding.”
“Okay.” He says taking the suits back to his closet. I just
wore a grey long-sleeved skin tight dress that goes just
below my knees with black pencil-heeled Miu Miu ankle
boots and a grey trench coat hanging on my shoulders. I
put on my 32” straight Peruvian weave since my hair isn’t
done but I tied it back. Jason walks out of his closet, he’s
wearing blue jeans, a white shirt and a grey cotton blazer
with black formal shoes.

I grab my black Channel handbag putting my Bible and

other things in it.

I asked Jase to take a few pictures of me but damn he’s

such a horrible photographer, all the pictures are blurry
even Quinn does a better job than him. I’ll ask Babalwa
when we get back.

We took the Range Rover cause he said it’s the best car
for first impressions, whatever that means.

When we arrived at church we were a little early, and we

bumped into my Pastor and his wife. They were very
happy to see me as it has been a long time since I
attended. The wife told me she saw my engagement
video on instagram and they started congratulating me.
So I had to introduce Jason to them and they were like I
must come to church with him frequently lol he just
nodded and smiled.

Jason and I sat at the back while Quinn ran to sit with
Bebe. You won’t believe what my Pastor did guys, he
announced to the whole congregation that we’re going
to have a wedding and he made Jason and I stand, like he
really put us on the spot like that, I wanted to die. Only
the people I have on my social media knew and now I’ll
have to invite the whole congregation to my wedding.

After church people were coming to congratulate us

(mostly ladies that have never even spoken to me once).
Like sis when I come to church alone you don’t even
attempt to speak to me but now that I came with my
handsome fiancé you want to play “buddy buddy”? They
were literally throwing themselves at Jason *rolling
eyes* lol they couldn’t even hide it, talking about he
must come to church more often, they’d love to have
him as a full member of our church. You find whores
everywhere, even at church. I wasn’t even bothered
cause I knew this was the first and last time he’s
attending church.
I see the man I’ve been trying to avoid coming towards
me, eish. Jason is already in the car, I think he
deliberately waited for him to leave my side so he can
come and annoy me.
“Bulelwa..” he says.
“Benjamin.”
“You’re engaged.” He says looking down with his hands
in his pocket.
Uhm duh……..
“Yes.”
“Congratulations I guess.”
“Thank you I guess.” I don’t know why we’re having this
meaningless conversation really.
“You know I won’t stop fighting for you to be my wife, I
really love you Bulelwa and that ring on your finger
means nothing to me.”
Lol this man is unbelievable.
“I don’t mean to be rude or anything but I think you’re
mentally disturbed, you need help.” I say and I walk away
leaving him standing there.
“Bulelwa please hear me out!” he shouts after me but I
ignore him.
Psycho!

I tell Jason I will drive with mom cause she doesn’t know
the way and I instruct Quinn and Babalwa to go to
Jason’s car.

Mom just asked me to drive cause she claims to be tired,

my mom has always been lazy to drive and that’s why
she’s been pushing Babalwa to get her driver’s license.
“So what do you think of him?” I ask mom as we’re
driving.
“I haven’t even spoken to him, he didn’t even come to
greet me. Has he no manners?”
“Come on Mama, he didn’t get a chance. You saw how
many people were coming to us.” I defend him.
“Hmm.” She says. “So you permanently stay with him
now? Have you sold your complex?”
“No I haven’t sold my complex, I was actually thinking of
renting it out.”
“So you paying for a house you’re not even using? Where
are you getting the money since you not working? And
how are you planning on paying Vuyelwa’s school fees?”
Yho Mama so many questions.
“Jason has been helping me out.”
“Hmm.”
I swear if she says “hmm” one more time, I’m going to
scream.

We get to the house and I call Jason to open the gate

cause I don’t have the remote with me. I’m not surprised
they got here first because I was kind of struggling on the
road, I don’t remember the last time I drove a manual
car.
“Did you invite other people as well?” she asks when she
sees the cars parked in the yard.
“No it’s just us.”
“And all these cars parked here?” she questions.
“They’re Jason’s cars Mama let’s go inside.”
She gives me that hmm again and I just roll my eyes.
We walk in the house and we’re welcomed by Quinn
running to grab her granny’s hand to show her her room
but I tell her she can show her later. Mom is just looking
around the house not saying anything. I see Jason
walking down the stairs, he has taken off his blazer.
“Molweni Mama.” He says offering his hand for a
handshake. And when did he learn how to speak Xhosa?
“I’ve been dying to meet you but your daughter here
wouldn’t make it possible.”
Oh my God, can he just stop talking?
“I’ve also been dying to me you. You let my daughter
come here to play wifey when you haven’t even paid the
dowry for her? Is she that cheap? Didn’t your parents
teach you that cohabitation is not okay? You sleep with
my daughter freely and you have a nerve of inviting me
to this house.”

I think Jason just choked on his saliva. Mama though,

why must she be like this? I’m a grown woman, I can
make my own decisions and hell I can sleep with
whoever I want to sleep with, that is my business. She’s
actually embarrassing me.

There’s awkward silence.

“I think MaDlamini is done setting the table, we can go

and eat.” I break the ice.
My mom looks at Jason up and down before walking with
me to the dining room.
I turn to my poor fiancé and I mime “I’m sorry.”

We sit around the table and we start eating on silence.

Quinn is the only one doing the talking, she’s telling her
Granny and Bebe about her new school and her new
friends.
“So boy what illegal stuff are you into?”
What is wrong with my mom? Ugh!
“Mama…” I say looking at her.
“What? You can’t tell me he can afford all of this with
just a normal job?”
“That is true. I wouldn’t afford all of this with one job but
I have a couple of businesses.”- Jason.
“What kind of businesses?”
“I have hotels and a couple of Law firms, and I just
recently signed up my newest company, well it’s not
really mine, it’s your daughter’s magazine company. I
know it’s always been a dream of hers to own a
magazine so I thought why not make it happen since I
have the financial aid.”
What did he just say? I’m failing to understand. It can’t
be what I think he just said.
“You did what?” I ask.
“I’ve been meaning to tell you but I decided to wait until
everything was finalized and I got the call Friday when
you took Q to school and-” I cut him off.
“Excuse me.” I say getting up and I rush upstairs to our
bedroom, I’m literally running up the stairs in heels.
When I get there I just sit on the bed and I cry. I just can’t
believe this, I’m even shaking.

Babalwa walks in after like 10 minutes of sobbing.

“You okay B? Why the tears? You should be happy.”
“I-” I shake my head and I cry even more.
“Aww I’m sorry. I don’t know why the hell are you crying
but I’m sorry.” She says hugging me.
“This is just too much, I don’t deserve all of this. I don’t
deserve him.” I say in-between my sobs. She lets go of
me.
“Okay I’m not here for a pep talk, you want a pep talk?
Rent The Notebook.”
“Babalwa you know this has always been my biggest
dream since I was a kid and he just made it a reality, just
like that.”
“I know that’s why I’m trying to understand why the f are
you crying.”
“Ugh..Can’t you see these are happy tears?” I say and we
both start laughing.
“Dude you are so weird! You know your man is shitting
himself downstairs cause he thinks he did something
wrong.”
I smile.
“Let’s go before your mom kills him.” She says pulling my
hand.

We return in the dining room and mom is still giving my

fiancé an evil eye.
“You okay?” Jason asks looking at me.
“I’m fine. I’m sorry about that.” I say. I’ll talk to him
about this when we’re alone.
“What did you say your surname was?”- Mom.
Okay at least she’s asking something about him, that’s
the first step.
“Lekoane. I’m Jason Lisebo Lekoana.” He replies.
Mom widens her eyes, her face is instantly red. She starts
breathing heavily, it’s like she’s having a panic attack.
“You okay Mama?” I ask. I’m worried now.
“Do you need water?”- Jason.
Dang the look mom shoots him before turning to me.
“What did you put in this food? Bulelwa take me home, I
need to take my medication.” She says fanning herself
with her hand.
“Yhu hayi Mama I’m still enjoying the WiFi here. B did
you see Kanye West’s tweets?” Babalwa says laughing,
her eyes are just on her phone. This child, her mom looks
like she’s dying but she’s just worried about WiFi and
twitter? Smh.
“I can rush to the chemist to get the medication you
need, or should I just call a doctor?”- Jason. Shame he’s
trying.
“Bulelwa I said take me home now!” she’s demanding
now.

I drive mom and Babalwa home with Jason following

behind me with Quinn so I can come back with them.

So the magazine company – my magazine company will

be in Jo’burg. Jason explained to me that chances of it
being successful are higher there. He has done literally
everything, even the building is ready. All that’s left for
me to do is to decide what kind of magazine do I want,
come up with the name then we can start with the
recruitment of board members and all that. I was
thinking of starting with something small like opening a
magazine for his hotels that will be like sort of
advertisement for his hotels, that way we’re both
benefiting from it then later I can move on to my dream
magazine, the magazine I’ve always pictured in mind
owning. Yes I agreed to move to Jo’burg, we’ll move after
our wedding. Even though the thought of moving to a
whole different province where I practically don’t know
anyone scares me but I know with Jason by my side
everything will be okay – if not perfect.
---
It’s Monday and I’m driving back home from dropping
Quinn at school. I get a call from an unsaved number.
“Hello?”
“Hi Bulelwa it’s Mandy.”
Uh..Mandy? I’m trying to think who’s Mandy.
“Mandy?”
“Yes. I work for Mr Lekoana at the gym, we met months
back at the amusement park, don’t you remember?”
Oh her. She forgot to mention she’s the same girl who
deliberately spilled coke on me and the same girl I found
half naked at my man’s house.
“What do you want?” I ask coldly. I know I’m a nice
person but she doesn’t deserve my kindness.
“Uhm..I need to discuss something with you, in person.”
Haibo!
“What?” I ask.
“I can’t talk about it over the phone, can we meet
please.”
The way she’s so polite you’d swear she never went out
of her way to spite me every time we had an encounter.
“I don’t have time-“ she cuts me off.
“It’s about Mr Lekoana.”
Now that she’s said that, I’m interested in what she
wants to say.
“What about him?”
“Like I said, I’d prefer if we spoke in person.”
Sigh.
“Okay I’ll be at the gym in two hours.”
“No. I’m not at work, we can meet at a restaurant or
something. And please don’t tell Mr Lekoana you
meeting up with me.”
“So now you want me to lie to my fiancé?”
“Please Bulelwa I’ll explain everything when I see you.”
“Okay. There’s a restaurant called Vogue & Vague at
Golden Horse Casino, I’ll be there in like 2 hours.”
“Okay. Thank you.” She says. I just drop the call. This
better be worth it or I’ll strangle her.

I get home and I find Jason already started working out

so I change to my gym clothes and I join him. We always
workout together cause he’s like my personal trainer and
trust me he doesn’t take it easy on me, sometimes I feel
like he just wants to kill me.

After the gym session we take a shower before having

breakfast and he leaves for work. I lied and told him I’ll
be meeting up with Sli for lunch.
....to be continued.
I'll post the continuation in an hour I think 💛
....continuation.
I find this Mandy chick already seated at V&V having
juice.
“Hi.” She greets me with a faint smile but you can tell
there’s something deeper behind that smile.
“Hey.” I say simply.

A waiter comes to take my order but I just tell them

water will be fine since I’m not planning on staying long
anyway. I have to fetch my child from school at 13.30
pm.
“So why am I here?” I ask as soon as the waiter leaves.
“First of all thank you for agreeing to come.”
I just nod. Damn she looks so uncomfortable.
“Uhm..I don’t know where to start with this. The thing is
uhm…” she exhales. “Mr Lekoana and I have been having
an affair behind your back.” She says.
I feel my heart breaking into tiny pieces and my bones
cracking. The tears are already threatening my eyes.
Breathe Bulelwa. Don’t break down in front of her. Don’t
lose it, you’re a big girl you can do this.
“Okay?” I say trying my best to remain calm.
“Okay? Your man used me. He lied to me. He made me
believe he loved when all he cared about was getting
between my legs. He used me and tossed me aside like
I’m some piece of dirt.”
A part of me wants to break this glass and stick it in her
neck, how dare she? But I keep my cool.
“You brought it upon yourself, why would you open your
legs for someone you know is in a relationship with me?”
I say casually and I rest my back on the seat.
“He promised me your relationship wasn’t going to affect
what we had. But how can it not affect me when I see
that your leaving the best. You’re the one living in that
mansion with him. He gets you everything you want but
all he does for me is pay my rent for the tiniest flat in
town and my car instalment. I mean what is a fucking
Hyundai i10 compared to those cars you guys have
parked in your yard? Am I a joke to him? There’s no
different between you and I cause we both offer him the
same thing which is sex since you have a maid. I’d
understand if you take care of him but you don’t so why
can’t we be treated the same?”
So she called me here to insult me? Who does that? Too
many insane people walking around freely when they
should be in mental institutions. And I know I have a
helper but I still take care of my fiancé. Who make
breakfast for him every morning? Me. Who cleans after
him? Me. Who makes sure his closet is always neat and
organized? Me. Who wakes him up when he has early
meetings? Me. So please.
“I think you should have called him to ask those
questions cause I don’t have answers for you but I won’t
sit here and listen to you insult me.” I say getting up.

She’s looking at me like woman I just told you your fiancé

is cheating on you, why are you not mad? I deserve an
Oscar for this act.
“Thank you for letting me know we’re fucking the same
dick.” I say before walking away. I didn’t pay for my
water, she can pay for it.

I walk to my car and as soon as I settled behind the wheel

I let it all out. The pain and anger I’m feeling are
unmeasurable. How can Jason do this to me? With
someone so young even?
“Fuck him!” I cry hitting the staring wheel with the side
of my fists. I’ve never felt so much pain in my attire life.

I take a few deep breaths to calm myself down before

getting out of the car again. There’s a bar here and I’m
going there, I need at least two glasses of wine. After 3
glasses I realize it’s not anesthetizing enough so I switch
to a double martini and I also ordered 3 shots of tequila, I
feel like I need more though. I want to drink this pain
away, I want to drink to a point where l feel nothing at
all.

“It’s not okay for a woman this gorgeous to be sitting

alone.” I hear a voice behind me. I turn on my bar chair
and I see a guy wearing a suit. Okay he’s good looking,
not sexy and masculine like Jason, he’s cute. I just stare
at him.
“Can I join you?” he says.

Being a woman is tough hey? You can’t have a drink

alone without someone coming but try their luck on you.
“As if you’ll walk away if I say no.” I say coldly so.
“I’ll take that as a yes.” He takes the seat next to me. “I’m
Luvo by the way, can I get you a refill?” he offers.
Again, I just stare at him.
“Okay I can see that you don’t really want company, if
you could just give me your numbers I promise to leave
you alone.”
It’s the 21st century and gents still ask ladies out like
this? Guys you can do better! I order myself another
drink before answering him.
“Sorry but…” I show him my left hand.
“Oh married? Lucky him. But I just want to get to know
you, as a friend that’s all.”
As if!
“Firstly I’m not married, I’m engaged. Secondly, I don’t
want to be known.”
“Oh I guess congratulations are in order? Cool, you’ll get
to know me cause I’d love to be known, especially by
you.”
Yeah congratulations for being engaged with an
unfaithful bastard – I think to myself. I’m looking at this
guy like you’re cute and well dressed and I just found out
my fiancé is unfaithful.

“Fine. If that’s what it takes to get you away then you

have your wish.” I say taking my phone so I can look up
my number only to realize the time is now 13.45 pm.
“Shit my child!” I panic.
“Everything okay?” he asks.
Of course not idiot.
“No. I was supposed to fetch my daughter from school at
13.30 pm and the school is like 40 minutes away from
here.”
“Oh. I can take you there to pick her up cause clearly
you’re not in the right state to drive.”
“No I’ll ask my helper to get her.” I say already scrolling
to MaDlamini's number. The school is just a 15 minutes
walk from the house.
“You see even your child needs a daddy to fetch her from
school.” He says when I drop the call.
“Excuse me?” I look at him.
“It was a joke.”
“No fuck you!” I throw the rest of my drink at him. How
dare he talks like that? He knows nothing about my
child’s father.
“Charming.” He says wiping himself with a napkin.

I ask one of the workers to get him away from me before

ordering another round of shots. Honestly I hate men,
these assholes are all the same. They like little pests,
maybe I was destined to a lesbian because I can’t deal
with this.

I don’t know how I ended up staying at the bar drinking

until 6 pm. I pay my bill and I get up. Damn I’m so drunk.
It’s starting to get dark outside. I walk to my car but as I
settle on my seat I realize I can’t do this, I don’t want to
die and leave my child alone.
I grab my phone and I see 17 missed calls from Jason.
“Mxm.” I say before changing his number from fiancé to
asshole and somehow my fingers scroll to Loyiso's
number. I call him. He picks up after the 3rd ring.
“Mrs Jason.” He says.
Did he really have to say that?
“Hi Loys it’s me Bulelwa, ugh of course you know it’s
me.”
“Are you okay?” He asks.
“Yes I’m fine.” I burp accidentally. “Oops, sorry.” I giggle.
“Bulelwa where are you? Where is Jason?”
“I hate your stupid friend and I’m going to kill myself, I
can’t cope with this pain!” I start crying.
“Tell me where you are and I’ll come and get you.”
“I don’t know where am I, if they find me dead tell your
fucking friend he’s responsible. No wait, I’m at the
Golden Horse casino.”
“I’ll be there in 5 minutes, please don’t do anything
stupid.”
“Mxm.” I say and I drop the call. Who the fuck does he
think he is? Telling me what not to do? Is he my father?

I must have dozed off after the call because I’m woken by
a knock on my window causing me to jump in fright. It’s
Loyiso. I open for him and he asks me to get on the
passenger seat and he gets on the drive seat.
“I’m sorry I called you.”
“Don’t worry about it. What happened?” he asks looking
at me.
“I don’t want to talk about it. Can I crash at your place
just for tonight? You have a spare room right?”
“No Bulelwa I’m driving you home.”
“I don’t want to go there! Take me to Sli’s place then.” I
don’t know why didn’t I just call her in the first place.
“I’m not going to do that. You need to sort out whatever
issues you have with your fiancé.”
“Mxm you guys are all the same, stupid jerks.” I say
looking away.
“Drink this.” He hands me a bottle of water before
starting the car.

I must have dozed off again on the way. I open my eyes

and I realize we’re two houses away. Jesus!
“Stop the car please!”
He looks confused but he stops anyway.
“I think I’ll manage to drive from here, Jason can’t find
out I called you to drive me home.” We all know how
livid he was last time I called his friend for help.

I get out of the car to the driver’s side but before getting
in the car I give him a hug.
“Thank you for this.” I say and I pull back. That was one
awkward hug.
“Don’t mention it.”
“How will you get home?”
“I’ll call a friend or get an uber, don’t worry about me.”
“I’m sorry for putting you through this trouble.” Now I
feel bad.
“It’s nothing really.”
“Please text me when you get home.”
“I will. You can drive in now.”

I smile before driving away. I park right in front of the

steps that lead to the front doors. I get inside the house
and I head straight up stairs. As I walk past the bathroom,
I can hear Quinn and MaDlamini talking, I guess she’s
giving her a bath, what time is really kanti?

When I enter the bedroom I find Jason sitting on the bed

with his Macbook as usual. I feel disgust slithering all
over my bones and settling in the core of me like a hard
stone and my anger reigniting. I think I’ll throw up.
“Where have you been?” he asks closing the Macbook.
He’s furious.
I don’t reply, I just walk in the closet and I take off my
clothes.
“Bulelwa I’m talking to you!”
“You have no right to ask me that.” I say calmly and I put
on my nightie.
“Have you been drinking?”
Again I don’t reply.
“Bulelwa!”
“Yes Jason I have been drinking, is there a problem?”
I attempt to walk out of the bedroom but he stops me.
“Where do you think you’re going when I’m still talking
to?”
“I’m going to sleep with my child, do you have a problem
with that too?” I don’t want to sleep next to him, he
disgusts me.
“I’m not going to allow you to sleep with the child
stinking of alcohol, in fact she can’t see you like this.”
He’s not serious, is he?
“She’s my child Jason, not yours! Why do you fucking
care?”
“Stop shouting and get in bed.”
I feel it coming and I rush to the bathroom. It comes out
just in time as I bend over the toilet. He’s behind me
holding back my hair. He waits until I’m done before
walking out. I wash my face and I brush my teeth.

When I walk back in the bedroom he just stares at me -

it’s not a kind stare.
“Can I at least go and say goodnight to her?” I can’t
believe I need permission to see my child. He just stares
at me, I guess that’s a no. I get in bed and I pull the
covers over my head and I start crying silently. I hear the
open and close. It opens again after a few minutes.
“Look who’s here.” He whispers.
“Mommy!” I hear my daughter’s voice.
“Yeah. Go and kiss her goodnight but don’t wake her
cause she’s not feeling well.”
“That’s why she didn’t fetch me from school? Cause she’s
not feeling well?” she whispers back.
“Right. But she’ll be fine tomorrow.”
I uncover myself.
“Mommy..” she says coming towards me.
“Baby I’m sorry I didn’t fetch from school.” I say giving
her a squeeze.
“It’s okay, Jay told me you not well but you’ll be better
tomorrow okay?” she says touching my forehead as if
feeling my temperature. I smile and I nod. I kiss my baby
goodnight and she walks out with Jason.
---
I wake up alone in bed. My throat feels super dry! Oh shit
what time is it? I check my phone, 7.30 am? Dang it I
forgot to set my alarm last night!
I jump out of bed putting on my robe and I rush
downstairs. I meet Jason just as he’s entering the house
through the front door. Where the hell is he coming from
so early? Did he even sleep here?

“Where are you coming from?” I ask.

“Where am I coming from? Oh I went to drop YOUR child
off at school because mommy decided to get drunk on a
Monday, she forgot to pick her up from school and this
morning she was too hungover to get up and get her
ready for school. That’s where I’m coming from.” He
sounds pissed off.
“Don’t you dare blame me you dog!” I shout. I’m not only
mad at him, I’m mad at myself as well for being an
irresponsible mom. But I’ll take it all out on him.
“Are you calling me a dog?” he asks giving me those
piercing angry eyes that usually scare me but today they
don’t.
“No actually that’s an insult to dogs because you’re lower
than that. You’re a filthy pig that can’t keep his dick
inside his pants!” I’m so glad MaDlamini is still in the pool
house, I can freely give this pig a piece of my mind.
“What are you talking about?”
“You think I don’t know you’re fucking your employee?
Gosh you so filthy!”
His face just changed from angry to guilt-ridden. I’m not
gonna cry.
“Baby-“
“Don’t call me that!” I scream. “How can you do this to
me? Am I not enough? Don’t I satisfy you? Or maybe I’m
not beautiful enough?”
“My love I’m sorry-“
“Fuck that! Tell me why Jason? How long has it been
going on?”
“For a few months but I promise I stopped when we got
engaged, I’m sorry baby.” He says trying to hold me but I
resist.
“Don’t you dare fucking touch me! The condoms I found
in your car, was it her?”
“Babe..”
“Was it her Jason?” I scream again.
“It was her.”
“So you sat in that car and deliberately lied to me? That
day I found her here, you fucked her in this house?” I
have so many questions that I’m not sure I actually want
to hear the answers to.
Silence.
“So you lied to me again? Did you do it on the same bed
we sleep in?”
“No babe we used one of the spare rooms.”
“You’ve lied so much, how am I supposed to believe
anything that comes out of your mouth now?” I didn’t
realize I have tears rolling down my face.
“I didn’t mean to lie baby I was just scared to lose you.”
“What makes you think you won’t lose me now?”
“I can’t lose you sthandwa sam, if I lose you I wouldn’t
have anything to live for. I’m really sorry for hurting you
and I promise it will never happen again. I love you
Bulelwa.”
He loves me? Smh.
“Is she the only one? And please don’t even think about
lying cause you know I will find out the truth.”
Silence again. I know what that means.
“So there’s someone else? Wow... You know what? I
actually can’t do this.” I say before running upstairs and I
lock myself in the bedroom.

I get in bed and I start crying. I never imagined being

cheated on hurts so much, no one warned me before
getting into a relationship. I don’t think I want to be in
this relationship anymore or any relationship for that
matter. I know I’m happier than I was when I was single
but at least I never cried this much. My life has literally
become an emotional roller-coaster, one day I’m happy
then the next day my heart is completely shattered. I
know they say pain is the consequence of love but is it
supposed to hurt this much?

I hear him attempt to open but I locked.

“Babe please open the door I’m sorry.” He pleads.
“Fuckoff! Go to your whores!” I shout still crying.
“Bulelwa I ended things with both of the after we got
engaged. Please just let me in, I want to make things
right.”
I ignore him and I continue crying. He wants to make
things right he says? Nothing he does or says will fix
what’s broken. Not only did he break my heart, he broke
my trust as well. You know I trusted him so much
oblivious to the fact that he’s just a man like every other
man. I know the signs were there – bold and clear but I
wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I feel so
stupid, in fact I am stupid. I’m the epitome of stupid.

I take sleeping pills and I set my alarm to wake me at

12.30 cause I need to fetch Quinn from school. I know
Jason needs to get in here and prepare for work if he’s
going to work today but I don’t care, I won’t open.
---
Surprisingly I woke up before the alarm went off. I make
the bed before going for a shower. I feel horrible inside
and I think it’s reflecting on the outside as well. People
don’t understand the amount of damage being cheated
on causes. Not only does it break your heart, you also
start questioning yourself on every aspect. You question
your looks, you question your abilities as a woman, you
question your performance in the bedroom, you lose all
your confident and you tell yourself surely there’s
something I’m not good at which these people he cheats
on me with matter, and your insecurities just multiply.

I put on denim shorts with a loose white T-shirt and

white sneakers. I know I was forbidden from wearing
shorts when I’m leaving the house but I’m wearing them
deliberately, let him say a word! I also put on my
sunglasses and tied my weave in a messy bun.

I open the door and I find this man, no this pig sitting on
the floor outside our bedroom. I walk past him loathing
him like I don’t see him.

I arrive at Quinn’s school but I’m a little early so I wait by

the parking listening to Kanye West. As soon as I see her
running towards my car, I get out to welcome her with
open arms.
“Mommy!” she says.
“Baby!” I say picking her up. You can tell she’s ecstatic to
see me.
“I told my teacher you were sick and she helped me
make a card for you.” She says handing me a paper
decorated with hearts and it’s written ‘Get well Mommy’.
My baby’s so sweet.
“Oh thank you. I feel better now.” I say taking her bags
and I help her get in the car. I get in on my seat and I just
look at her.
“Do you know how much I love you?” I say pinching her
cheek. She nods with a smile. I smile as well before
starting the car.
“When we get home we should do something fun, what
do you think?”
“Yeah! We can watch Lilo & Stitch.” She suggests. Not
that cartoon again!
“That ain’t fun, how about we take a swim? Just you and
I, and if Jay tries to join us you tell him no boys allowed.”
I’m manipulating her I know but what can I do? Quinn
loves Jason so much for the fact that he doesn’t shout at
her like I do and he gives her whatever she wants.
“Girls only! I don’t like boys.”
Yes baby, you keep that mentality until you’re 25.
“I don’t like them too baby.” In fact, I hate them.
We drive to a nearby shopping centre first to buy
something to eat and just a few things. I’m trying to
make up for what happened yesterday and this morning
cause I still feel bad.

We get home and we eat first and I change Quinn into

her bathing suit before going to our bedroom to change
as well. I find Jason lying on the bed staring at the ceiling.
“You went out wearing that?” he asks looking at my
short.
Surely this kind of audacity is bought somewhere, it can’t
be real.
“Why do you care? Isn’t you don’t appreciate what you
have here? Maybe other men outside will appreciate it.”
I say and I walk in the closet. I put on my yellow bikini, in
fact I’m going to walk around the house in this bikini the
whole day. I need to remind him of what he’s working
with here, in case he forgot.
When I walk out of the closet I feel his eyes on me. You
can look nigga but forget you’ll ever get to touch this, at
least not any time soon.

I’m chilling by the pool with my feet in the water

watching Quinn enjoy herself. Keeping her was the best
decision I have ever made. I know it was hard back then
but I can’t imagine my life without her, it’d be so sour.
She’s always bringing joy to my heart.

I continued ignoring Jason for the rest of the day, we

didn’t even have dinner together as a family like we
always do. Every time I walked past him I just gave him
the look – he knows my pissed off/disgusted look.
I put Quinn in bed after giving her a bath and I go for a
shower as well. I’m slowly drifting to sleep when I hear
Jason getting in bed behind me. I open my eyes and I get
out of bed.
“Where are you going baby I want us to talk.” He says.
“I going to sleep with my child.” He stopped me cause I
was drunk yesterday but he won’t stop me today.
He grabs my arm, I give him the look and he lets go
immediately. I click my tongue before walking away. I
don’t need him next to me tonight or any other night.
---
Two days passed without me uttering a word to my
fiancé and we’ve been sleeping in separate bedrooms.

He walks in the bedroom 15 minutes after me. Ugh!

“You do know that if you decide to sleep here it means I

should go and sleep somewhere else right?” those are
my first words to him since two days ago. I don’t know
why he still bothers coming here cause he knows I’ll
chase him away.
“No don’t go, I’ll sleep on the floor if I have to. Just as
long as I’m close to you.”
“Suit yourself.” I say and I turn my back on him.

He takes the cushions on the couch and he places them

on the floor and he takes my fleece blanket which was
also hanging on the couch. So he’s really going to sleep
on the floor? Hmm.

I try but I fail. I can’t sleep knowing he’s sleeping on the

floor. Am I a fool for feeling sorry for him now? Yeah I
probably am.
“Jase.” I say.
“Sthandwa Sam.”
“Get in bed.” Yeah go ahead, judge me.

He gets in bed and he shifts close to me. I move to

literally the edge of the bed just to get away from him
but he shifts closer, sigh. Maybe I shouldn’t have called
him cause he’s an idiot.
He puts his hand on me but I move it away. He puts it
back and he starts kissing my neck whilst running the
hand over my body.
“Jason stop..” I keep resisting but he’s not listening.

I don’t know how we ended up kissing and stripping each

other’s clothes off, it’s like he hypnotized me I swear.
Just as he’s about to penetrate me I stop him.
“Put on a condom.”
“But babe we never use condoms.”
“That’s cause I trusted you but you decided to break that
trust.” And I want to see if you have any condoms cause
that would mean you’re still sleeping with someone else
since we don’t use them.
“I used a condom with both of them I promise..”
Am I supposed to believe that?
“I don’t care Jason!” you see he’ll get me mad all over
again.
“But I don’t have any condoms now.” I sense frustration
in his voice.
“I guess we’re not doing this tonight then. And tomorrow
we’re going to test for any STDs.” I know he doesn’t pray
but this time he must pray that he hasn’t infected me
with any disease because if he has, oh boy! All hell will
break loose, I will become a murderer and someone’s
son will die.
“No problem.” He says and his hand goes between my
legs. What is he doing now? He starts circling my clit with
his finger. I start moaning, I can’t help it. He continues
and when I feel my body stiffening he stops and he starts
kissing me from my neck going all the way down to the
happy place. He eats me out and I cum within a few
minutes releasing all my juices on his face.
---
After dropping Quinn off at school we drove to the
doctor and Jason better thank his ancestors that we both
tested clean. We spent almost 4 hours in the car talking. I
had to let him know if he dare cheat on me again I will
leave him, and I meant it. No matter what he says or
does, nothing will stop me. I told him this luxurious
lifestyle he gives me doesn’t mean anything if he’s going
to hurt me. And honestly I wouldn’t mind going back to
my old life than going through what he put me through
again. A happy heart is better than a full purse. Oh I also
had to apologize for saying Quinn is my daughter not his.
Apparently that hurt him cause he believes what’s mine
is his and what’s his is also mine.
Things are slowly getting back to normal. I’ve forgiven
him. I believe in second chances but I don’t think I can
ever trust him again.
*
*
*
*
So you guys still want a man like Jason? 🤣 I told you be
careful what you wish for. 💔 Anyway...thanks for
reading! 🤗😘 Again, apologies for any errors.
Chapter Thirteen

It’s Sunday and I’m still in bed lazy to get up. Jason is in
the shower cause he’s meeting up with his friends. He
begged to come with him but I’m not in the mood for
people. In stead I planned with Sli to take the kids to the
mall. They miss each other and I also need her opinion on
something that’s been visiting my mind lately.

Quinn barges in our bedroom crying. No not crying,

sobbing. Strangely, she’s wearing different pajamas from
the ones I put her on last night.
“What’s wrong baby?” I ask sitting up.
“Mommy I did something bad.” She cries.
“What? What happened?” now I’m freaking out.
“No I don’t want to talk about it.”
I pick her up and I put her on my lap.
“You know I’m your mommy right? And you know you
can speak to me about anything right?”
She nods but she’s still crying.
“Now tell mommy what happened.”
“Mommy I made a pee pee on the bed.” She says and
she cries louder. I want to laugh but it would upset her
more.
“Oh no..I’m sorry. These things happen, you don’t have
to feel bad about it.” I say giving her a hug trying to calm
her down. If it was me back then, my momma would
have whipped my sorry arse.
“I don’t know what happened I just saw the scary old
man in my room and I wet myself now my friends at
school are going to laugh at me.” She’s so embarrassed
she can’t even look at me.

This scary old man again, sigh!

“No one will laugh at you baby, you’re friends don’t have
to know about it.”
“You promise you won’t tell anyone?”
“I promise. Even mommy wets the bed sometimes but
don’t tell anyone.” I say and she giggles.

I really do wet the bed. Sometimes I be having an intense

orgasm and I squirt on the bed. I remember the first it
happened I got so embarrassed I cried cause I thought I
had peed. Jason had to explain to me what is a squirt,
imagine?

I tell Quinn to go and choose what she wants to wear

cause we’re going to the mall to see Kuchi. She doesn’t
seem that excited about it but she leaves anyway.

I get up to join Jason in the shower. When we step out,

he walks in the closet to get dressed but I pull him by
hand and I push him on the unmade bed before getting
on top of him.
“You know we haven’t tested the condoms we bought
and you know what they say - you don’t know if you like
something unless you try it.” I say and I kiss him.
“What are you suggesting MyHlali?” he smirks.
“I’m suggesting what you think I’m suggesting.” We
haven’t had sex the whole week and that is not normal.

So I’m busy doing my thing riding this man with my hands

pressed on the headboard and his hands are squeezing
my butt. His head is raised a bit and he has one of my
nipples in his mouth. I’m trying so hard not to scream
when I hear the door suddenly open. I look and I see my
daughter walking in.
“Shit.” I whisper swiftly hopping of him. I cover my boobs
with the bedcover, luckily we were doing it under the
covers.
“Morning Jay.. Mommy I can’t find my diamond choker, I
want to wear it.” She says. Her mood is still down.
“Uhm..I’ll come and look for it just now okay?” I say.
Oops my breathing is still high.
She turns to walk out but she stops and turns around.
“Why aren’t you guys dressed? Are you guys married?
Cause mommy told me only married boys and girls see
each other naked, right mommy?”
“Uh…yeah…but I…he…It’s really hot in here.” I don’t
know what else to say.
“I can see you sweating, turn on the AC.” She says and
she walks out.

“Are you guys married?” Jason says imitating her and he

laughs.
“It’s not funny wena!” I hit him.
“Relax, she didn’t see anything. Should I lock so we can
continue?”
“No Jase. I’m sorry.” I kiss him on the cheek and I pull the
condom off his dick to dispose it before going to the
bathroom to clean myself up.

Sex with a condom isn’t that great but I can work with it
until I learn to trust him again. If that’s ever going to
happen.
---
It’s always interesting when I allow Quinn to pick out her
own outfit cause she doesn’t go for the normal kiddies
clothes like colourful tutus and stuff. Today she picked a
black short with a black biker jacket and black Dr Marten
boots with that diamond choker. I think she likes the
rockstar look more.

I just wore a pink Chanel sweat-suit and pink Chanel

sneakers, I don’t have time to dress up we’re just going
to the mall anyway. I’ve already texted Sli and she told
me they’re on the way.
---
Quinn spots her friend first and she runs her. They hug
each other before Kuchi turns to me.
“Hi mommy.” She greets shyly.
“Oh so I’m not getting any hugs?” I say.
She giggles before giving me a hug. Honestly these kids
give the best hugs.
“Stranger! Your cute little butt is growing.” That’s Sli
spanking my arse.
“Stop!” I place my hand on my behind. “It’s the gym.”

We start catching up as we’re walking around the mall.

The kids are also having their own “catching up” moment
as they’re walking in front of us, not paying any attention
to us at all.

“So you said you want my opinion on something?” she

says.
“Oh yeah. Well Jason’s birthday is coming up in like 5
weeks.”
“Oh so you want me to tell you what to do for him?”
“No I know what I want to do for him, I’m just not a 100%
sure about it, like I need a second opinion.”
“Girl…kanti what do you have in mind?”
“Well I want to do something really special for him,
something that can possibly top off everything he has
done for me.”
“Okay are you planning on buying him a private island in
Dubai cause that’s the only way you can top off
everything he has done for you.”
I laugh at that.
“But that wouldn’t be fair cause I’d use his money to buy
that island. I know something he would appreciate more
than a private island.”
“Geez are you going to tell me what that is or do I have
to guess?”
“Well I know this will sound crazy but he really wants a
baby.”
“You’ll buy him a baby for his birthday? I’m not catching
on..”
“No Sli I’ll get pregnant and reveal it on his birthday.”

She stops walking and her eyes pop all out.

“I know it sounds insane but you know that man has

made me the happiest woman, he deserves to be happy
too.”
“Yeah he makes you so happy that’s why you always run
to my man every time you guys have a problem in your
relationship?”
What? I’m taken aback by her statement. I never saw this
one coming at all. And I didn’t know Loyiso is her man
now.

“So Loyiso is your man now?”

“That is not the point! Just stay away from other people’s
men, you have a fiancé.”
“What are you trying to imply by that statement? Stay
away from other people’s men? Loyiso is not even my
type.”
“What do you mean he’s not your type cause he’s exactly
like your man? Or you mean he’s not your type cause he
doesn’t have the kind of money your fiancé has?”

Wow.. How did this conversation turn so nasty? I thought

Sli knew me. I thought she of all people would know I’m
not with Jason because of his money. I’m in love with
who he is, not what he has. I’d still love him the way I do
even if he was just a truck driver.
“Look B, you know how much I love you and how much I
value our friendship, you’re like a sister to me and I
wouldn’t want men to get between us but I also don’t
appreciate you calling Loyiso every time you go through
something with your fiancé cause I’m sure if I did the
same thing with Jason, we’d have problems. I mean it
happened not once but twice! Do you get where I’m
coming from though?”
“I totally get you. To me it was just a friend seeking help
from another friend but I’m really sorry if you felt
offended or disrespected, it wasn’t my intention and I
promise it will never happen again.”
“So what did he do?”

That’s Sli for you. She doesn’t dwell on things, when she
has an issue with you, she addresses it right away and
then move on from that, like you’ll never hear her
bringing it up again. Unlike me, I usually stay away from
that upset me until I’ve calmed down.

“Just common relationship problems but we’re good

now.” I’m not going to tell her he cheated, not only is it
embarrassing but that’s something you don’t tell your
family and friends – especially if you have a friend like Sli.

“Hmm. Are you sure about the baby thing though?

Remember you’re bringing a whole human being into
this world, you can’t say I’m joking take it back.” She
says.
“I think I am ready for another baby. I mean I did it right
this time around, I got nothing to lose.”
“What about the wedding? The magazine? Moving to
Jo’burg?”
“Well we can have the wedding after I give birth and
move to Jo’burg when the baby turns at least one.”
“Hmm I see you have this all planned out. You must do it
if it’s what you really want not just because you want to
make him happy. I’m just mad that you agreed to move
to Jo’burg, like you’re really leaving me here? Bitch you
know you can’t survive without me.”
Trust Sli to make the moving about her.
“I know I can’t survive without you that’s why I’ll
probably be here every weekend. Plus my family is here
too so…”
We carry on talking about a lot of stuff. She revealed to
me that she hasn’t slept with anyone other than Loyiso
ever since she met him which is huge cause Sli used to
sleep with a different man every weekend and then call it
“having fun”. So I’m happy Loys managed to tame her
down. I think she’s really in love with Loyiso and I noticed
she answered “babe” when he called her so I’m failing to
understand why is she hiding that they are now official.

We watched a movie, took the kids to play games, we

went to eat and we even did a little shopping.

It’s 8.30 pm when Quinn and I get home. I quickly give

her a bath and I put her in bed right away. I dish up the
takeaways we bought for Jason and I take it upstairs to
him.
I find him in his study engrossed on his MacBook.
“You working on a Sunday night, that’s a first.” I say
placing the tray on the desk.
“I’m just sorting out something. I have to go to Jo’burg.”
“Oh….. When?”
“Tonight. I have to be at the airport by 10 pm, what time
is it?” he says with his eyes still fixed on the screen.
“No Jase you can’t just leave, why didn’t you tell me
beforehand?”
“I didn’t know, I received the call this afternoon that I
have to be there for an important meeting tomorrow
morning.”
“So you’ll come back tomorrow?”
He finally shifts his eyes from the screen to look at me.
“I’ll be gone for two weeks.”

What? I already feel like crying.

“Jase you can’t leave me for that!”

“I said two weeks babe, not two years.”
“I don’t care! Even if it’s two days, I don’t want you to
leave me.”
“Come here.” He says pushing his chair back and he
makes me sit on his lap.
“You know I try my best to manage my businesses in
Jo’burg via electronics but I have to be physically there
this time. If I had another option I wouldn’t go. Trust me
two weeks is nothing. I’ll call you every hour and we will
Skype every night.”
I nod but I really don’t want him to leave.
“Please eat before you go, it’s already 9 pm.”
“Well first I need to make a quick call.” He says taking his
phone and he dials a number.
“Yes please tell the pilot he needs to be at the airport by
5.30 am tomorrow morning, I won’t be able to make it
tonight.” He says on the phone.

Pilot? Does that mean he……? No.

“No my wife doesn’t want me to leave, I’ll see you

tomorrow.” He says and drops the call.

“You didn’t have to do that.” I say.

“I can’t leave you sulking like this.”
I smile faintly.
“You have a pilot?” I ask.
“Yeah you kind of need one if you own a private jet, what
do you have there?” he asks pulling the tray closer.
So he owns a private jet? These things don’t even
surprise me anymore.
“It’s sushi, your favourite.” I say taking the chopsticks and
I start feeding him.
“How are you planning on making it to the airport by
5.30 am? You complain when you have to get up at 6
am.”
He really hates waking up early.
“You’ll wake me up.”
“Are you asking me or telling me?”
“I’m asking you my love.”
“I’ll wake you at 4 am.”
“Well in that case, we better go to bed.”
“No finish your food first.”
“I’m full now baby let’s go.”
I get off him and I take the tray to the kitchen first before
going to our room. I wash my face and I brush teeth, I put
on my PJs and I get in bed cuddling with my fiancé. It’s
going to be the longest two weeks of my life. Sigh!
---
The noisy sound of my alarm goes off, it’s 3 am. I want to
cry! I switch it off and I find his lips in the dark. I start
kissing him.
“Babe…” he mumbles.
“Ssh…” I say and I continue kissing him whilst slipping my
hand inside his underwear. I take his dick in my hand and
I start playing with it, our mouths are still locked. I feel
him growing in my hand and he starts morning in my
mouth, okay.

I pull my hand out and I get on top of him. I start kissing

and sucking his neck – making sure I leave at least two
hickeys there, and move down to his hard chest, his abs
and I stop right where his pubic hair starts.

He attempts to take off my pajama top but I take his

hands and I place them both on the bed and I take it off
myself. I manage to get off my short and underwater as
well.

I get back on him with my legs on either side of him

“The condom..” he says.
“No leave it.”
Remember I’m trying to get pregnant here. I know I
haven’t removed my IUD, I’ll do it while he’s away.

I take his now hard dick and insert the tip inside me
before lowering my body on it. He places his hands on
my waist but I put them back on the bed, I’m in control
here. I start moving up and down slowly and soon
enough my pace increases and I balance with my hands
on his chest.
“Ahh fuck Bulelwa..” He cries when I go harder.

I get off him after he cums and I switch on my side-lamp.

“Good morning..” I say still trying to catch my breath.
“It’s not just a good morning, it’s a glorious morning.”
“There’s nothing glorious about it, you leaving me.”
“I don’t want to go, I mean who will wake me up like this
in Jo’burg?”
“Don’t go.”
“I have to sthandwa sam. Trust me I’m doing this for us,
for our future. I want you to have everything you want.”
Is he kidding me?
“I already have everything I want and it’s lying right here
next to me.” I kiss his sweaty chest. “Let’s go shower.”
“And where are you going so early?” he says.
“You don’t want to shower with me?”
He smiles before getting up and he scoops me up
hanging me on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.
“Oh my God Jase put me down!” I hit him on his back.
He starts walking with me to the bathroom spinning
around a few times. I’m giggling and screaming at the
same time.
---
The first night without Jason was the worst! I didn’t sleep
at all, I tried sleeping in his T-shirt thinking maybe it
would make it feel like he’s next to me but nope, it did
not help. He wasn’t exaggerating when he said he was
going to call me every hour, he legit kept calling me the
whole day and we Skyped before going to be bed but
that also didn’t help. I don’t think I’ll make it to two
weeks without losing my mind.

Today is the 3rd night without him. I get in bed with my

MacBook and I Skype him. After waiting for what seemed
to be forever to connect, his handsome face finally
appears on the screen and I just want to grab him and
kiss him.
“Babyyyyyy…” I say.
“My beautiful wife.”

Dude I’m not your wife yet. Wait, what’s that on his
head?

“Is that my underwear you’re wearing on your head? Oh

my God Jase!” he’s wearing my black lace panty on his
head like a hat.
“Yeah, you like it?”
“Like what? Why are you wearing my underwear on your
head? Where did you even get it?”
“I left with it, it’s the only item of yours that fits me.”

Wow…

“I’m throwing you away cause I literally can’t with you.

And if it fits you, you wouldn’t be wearing it on your
head.”
“Oh it fits my butt too. You want me to show you?”
Honest to God knock me out!
“Do that and I’ll close this screen on you.”
He laughs and I laugh too.
“Where is Q? I miss her.”
“She’s sleeping, I just put her in bed.”
“Ah baby why are you so selfish? You always call when
she’s sleeping.”
“I was born this way.” I say before laughing at my own
ridiculous answer.
We carried on talking for like two hours. I only hanged up
cause I was sleepy, our conversations never die down.
He’s like my best friend.

The following day was Thursday which means day 4

without Jason. I never knew living without him would be
so hard. Literally doing anything without him sucks like
sleeping alone, working out alone, showering alone and
just not having anyone to have conversations with. I even
miss cleaning after him.

I took Quinn to see the doctor about the old scary man
she’s been seeing and they just told me it’s normal for
kids her age to imagine things. But kids normally have
imaginary friends right? They also told me it might be
alerting that she feels lonely sometimes since she’s the
only child in the house. That impelled me more to get
pregnant, she needs a sibling, or siblings.
---
Today is Friday and I just dropped off the child at school
now I’m driving to my gynecologist to get this IUD
removed from my uterus, I don’t need it anymore. Yes
I’m really going through with this. I’ve thought about it
thoroughly and it’s what I want. I’m ready for another
baby. I don’t want a huge gap between my kid’s ages and
it’s already late considering Quinn is turning 7 this year. I
know Jason will be ecstatic when he finds out and he will
be an excellent father judging by the way he is with my
daughter. I can’t wait actually, I’m excited about this.

When I walk out of the doctors, I find a note stuck on my

car.

“I know your fiancé is away.”

*
*
*
*
Guys I read your comments on my previous post. The
reason I was asking if I should stop, well I started working
on something new, something different and hopefully
better than this. But I've decided I'm not going to publish
it until I'm satisfied with this page's performance.
Anywhoooo....thank you for reading and a specail thank
you to those who take their time to like/react and
comment, I appreciate you so much 😍🤗 don't forget
to share also 🙏🏻
(Unedited)
Chapter Fourteen

What the actual fuck? Who left this? My head starts

spinning and my earlier excitement is immediately
consumed by fear. I look around but everything seems to
be normal. I get in the car and I call Jason but he doesn’t
pick up.

I drive straight home and I make sure all the windows

and doors are securely closed. I know security in this
house is very tight but I’m scared. You guys remember
that black BMW that used to follow me when I was still
staying at my complex? We never traced who it was and
we just assumed it was Kabelo but clearly it’s not him
cause Kabelo is dead and that person is still stalking me. I
also think it’s the same person that delivered flowers and
chocolate at my workplace.
I decide to call Jason again and he picks up this time.
“Baby I’m sorry I was in a meeting earlier.”
“There’s someone stalking me.” I say tranquilly.
“What do you mean there’s someone stalking you?”

Doesn’t he understand simple English?

“I mean there’s someone stalking me, they left a note on

my car saying they know my fiancé is away.”
“Where were you when they left the note?”
“I was at the doctor’s.”
“What were you doing there? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine uhm I was there for my regular checkup.” As if I
ever go for regular checkups. “I’m just scared Jase.”
“Don’t worry I’ll get people to make sure you’re safe and
someone who will accompany you if you need to go
somewhere.”
“I don’t want people to make sure I’m safe, I want you to
come home!”
“One more week my love, I’m coming home next week
Friday.”
“So whatever you’re doing there is more important than
my life?”
“Bulelwa don’t do that..”
“It’s okay Jason. Now I can clearly see where I lie in your
priorities.” I say and I drop the call. Clearly work is more
important to him than my safety.

Now I have to go and fetch the child from school but I’m
scared to go out. I think about calling Loyiso but I
remember the conversation I had with Sli, I promised her
it wasn’t going to happen again. Why does my mind do
that vele? Why does it always run to Loyiso every time
I’m in trouble? Anyway I have no choice but to man up
and drive to Quinn’s school.

I decide to change cars. I leave my Mercedes and I take

Jason’s Porsche. If this person knows my cars then they
probably don’t know this one cause even Jason hardly
uses it.
Again I drive to the school and straight back home. I
instruct Quinn to stay indoors for the rest of the day, I
even asked MaDlamini to let out the dog. I think that dog
has a problem with me, it doesn’t bark at anyone else in
this house but me. Or maybe it senses that I fear it?

I hate my life right now, it’s a Friday and I can’t even

leave the house. I make some food for this child before
going for a nap, Quinn joins me and we take a nap
together. Well she’s just lying next to me playing games
on my phone.

By the way Jason left me a card that he said I should use

to keep myself busy while he’s away. I don’t even need
that card cause my card has more than enough money to
feed the whole country. No I’m joking but it has a lot of
money, my bank even upgraded me to a private banker. I
promised my sister to take her to Gateway for some
shopping but it looks like I’ll have to cancel that, I can’t
be gallivanting the streets when I don’t know who the
fuck is stalking me.
---
I can hear Quinn’s voice faintly in my sleep. Who the hell
is she talking to? I open my eyes and I look around, oh
her voice is coming from the dressing room.

I get up and I tiptoe to stand by the doorway and I peek

inside the dressing room. She’s standing by the full
length mirror and she’s wearing my top which looks like a
short dress on her and my heels and also one of my wigs.

“Hi my name is Bulelwa and I’m the queen of the world..”

She says.

Is she imitating me? Cause I know I don’t speak like that.

“I’m the prettiest girl like a ice princess..”

Oh well that’s a compliment thank you.

I call her name, she turns around and I almost run away.
“What did you do to your face?”
“I put make-up on.” She says.
“Right….you look pretty.” She looks scary.
“Thank you.” She says.

I rush to get my phone so I can take a few pictures of her

looking like a light skinned golliwog and I also take a
video of her trying to walk in my heels.

Well at least that lightened my afternoon. The mess she

made in here though, cry with me. I’m not going to Skype
Jason tonight, in fact let me switch off my phone.
---
I’m sleeping when I feel an arm snaking around me from
behind. I freeze for a second but no, I know that scent.
He came back.

“It’s me.” He says.

“You came back.”
“Yes, go back to sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.”
I abide. I feel safe now.
---
I wake up with my head on his chest. So I wasn’t
dreaming, he really came back. I raise my head to look at
his gorgeous face. God it’s like he was gone for a whole
year.

“Stop staring at me.” He says with his eyes still closed.

I smile.

“Thank you.”
“Hmm?” his eyes are half opened now.
“For coming back. Thank you for coming back to make
sure I’m safe.”
“Don’t thank me, it’s my job.”
“I missed you so much.” I say resting my head on his
chest again and I curl my body around his body. I missed
doing this.
“I missed you too baby.” He says and kisses the top of my
head.

I raise my head again, I need to study his face after what

I’m about to ask.

“Did you cheat on me in Jo’burg?”

His eyes are fully opened now but I can’t really read the
expression on his face.
“I did not cheat on you.”
As if he was going to admit if he did. I remain quiet and
rest my head back on his chest.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” he says after a moment

of silence.
“Did I say I don’t believe you?”
“You don’t have to say it. Please look at me.”
I raise my head again.
“I made a mistake and I am never going back there, I
learnt my lesson and I am willing to do anything to earn
back your trust.”
“I trust you.” I say in a low tone.
“No you don’t and I don’t blame you.”
“I love you.” Now that’s not a lie.
“I know that’s why I love you more.”

I would ask what was the trip about but every time I ask
about his businesses he just gives me one word answers,
so I figured he just doesn’t like discussing his businesses
with me.

I plant a kiss on his bare chest before getting up.

“I’m going to get Quinn, she’s been asking me when are
you coming back, put on some clothes.” I say putting on
my summer robe over my very revealing pajamas and I
walk out of the room.

Quinn is already awake watching TV. I tell her I have a

surprise for her in our room. We walk up the stairs and
when we get to the door I cover her eyes before opening
the door.

“You ready?” I say.

“Yeah.”
I uncover her eyes and her face instantly beams before
she screams “Jay!” whilst running to him.

“Hey princess!” he says picking her up and he spins her

around.
“I missed you!” she says.
“I missed you too Buddy and I have a surprise for you.”
He says putting her down.

He walks out of the bedroom for a few minutes and he

comes back with a hoover board and a helmet and
kneepads – all pink.
Quinn has been begging me for months to buy her a
hoover board but I was just scared she was going to fall
and hurt herself. So I know how happy she is.
“Thank you Jay you’re the best in the whole world!” she
says hugging him.

Pssh liar I’m the best.

They leave the room going downstairs to try out her new
toy. I make the bed and I go for a shower.
When I come out of the shower I find him sitting on the
bed busy with something on his phone.

“You didn’t wait for me.” He says.

“I didn’t know you wanted to join me.”
“You know me and this chap missed you.” He says
pointing at his manhood.
I laugh rolling my eyes.

“Ah this phone just died and I need to send an important

message to Loyiso. Can you charge it for me babe, and
can I use your phone you have his number right?”
“Yeah sure, my phone is there on the pedestal.”
I take is phone and I bend to plug in the charger in the
socket.

“Bulelwa what the fuck is this?”

I’m taken aback by his tone. What is what now? I turn

around and I see him holding my phone with the screen
facing me. Shit I forgot about those messages. I feel ice
rushing through my veins and my limbs turning liquid.

It’s a text conversation between Loyiso and I from that

day I got drunk and called him. Remember I asked him to
text me when he gets home? He did. He texted ‘I’m
home now if that makes you feel any better.’ To which I
replied, ‘You should have let me sleep at your place, that
would have made me feel better.’ Now as wrong as this
may sound, we all know there’s nothing going between
Loyiso and I. And remember I was mad and drunk and
hurt.
I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I’m
frozen like a frightened bird caught in the talons of a
hawk.

“I said what the fuck is this?” his voice is raised a bit and
he’s slowly coming towards me. I don’t like the look on
his face.
“It’s not what you think it is babe I can explain.” I say in a
shaky voice.
“It’s not what I think it is? What do I think it is?” he
screams.

I’ve been stepping back and I realise my back is now

against the bathroom door which is slightly opened.
There’s only one thing I can do to save myself now. I
unpremeditatedly push the bathroom door getting inside
and I lock.

“Bulelwa if you know what’s good for you, you will open
this fucking door!” he roars trying to open.
I know what’s good for me that’s why I won’t open.
He starts banging the door, I’m not sure if he’s kicking it
or hitting it with something but it sounds like something
heavy. I hear the crack of wood and the door flings open.
This is over for me. I’ve seen him angry but this is beyond
angry. I don’t see the man I love, I just see a beast ready
to attack.

“Baby please don’t hit me I can explain everything.” I

plead. I’m now crying.

He furiously marches to me and he pushes me against

the wall with his strong hand around my neck. I let out a
whimper, he’s choking me.

“What are you doing Bulelwa? Are you a whore now?” he

says with his hand tightening around my neck and I’m
struggling to breathe.
I shake my head.
“Wang febela?” he says and the hand tightens more. I’m
just praying that he doesn’t bash my face.

Quinn has walked in on us having sex before but this one

time I really need her to walk in on us and save me she
doesn’t? I’m going to die for something I did not do.

“Bulelwa if you’re messing with my friend I’m going to

hurt the both of you, do you hear me?” he says pointing
at my face and looking into my crying eyes. He’s still
choking me, I release more tears.

“I said do you hear me?” the hand tightens again. God I

don’t deserve to die this way.
“Yes.” I say in a hoarse voice. I don’t know how that yes
came out cause he’s choking my throat so tight there’s
literally no air coming in or leaving my body.

He finally lets go and he storms out clicking his tongue. I

breathe out holding my neck, it’s on fire.
I can’t stop crying. I don’t know if I’m crying cause my
neck hurts or if I’m crying cause I never thought he would
ever get physically violent with me or if I’m crying for the
fact that I’m being crucified for absolutely nothing.

I hear something smash and brake in the bedroom

making me flinch. I see him storming back in the
bathroom. I thought this was over! God please don’t let
this man kill me – I pray inside.

He walks to me and this time he grabs my arm. I let out a

low scream covering my face with my other arm in case
he decides to slap me or punch me.
“So you don’t want to stop this thing of running to my
friend every time we go through a glitch in this
relationship?”

I’m assuming he was on the phone with Loyiso. My mind

is all over the place I didn’t even hear him. Oh and he
calls his infidelities “a glitch”?
“I’m sorry.” I say in almost a whisper.

He lets go of my arm and he looks at me with so much

rage before walking out. I hear the bedroom door open
and close, he’s out. I let out a huge sigh which I wasn’t
aware I was holding.

I walk to the basin counter, I rinse my face and I just

stand there looking at my reflection on the mirror. My
eyes are bloodshot and puffy, my skin is a bit pale and I
have horrifying bruises on my neck. Today I became a
victim of domestic violence. Is this really my life?

I walk in the bedroom to get my phone and I see his side-

lamp broken on the floor. Last night I texted my sister
telling her we should postpone the shopping spree I
promised her but now I’m texting her again telling her
she should get ready I’ll fetch her in an hour. I need to
get out of this house.

I clean up the broken lamp before going in the dressing

room to get dressed and put on make-up – I need it. I just
put on leggings with a simple top and a bomber jacket
and my Yeezy sneakers. I wrap my Burberry scarf around
my neck. I don’t even know why I’m putting on the scarf
cause people need to see what kind of a monster Jason
is.

When I walk downstairs I see him standing by the

window with a glass of cognac in his hand looking out the
window. I get scared cause I don’t know what he’s
thinking but I tell myself he’s not going to do anything in
front of the child. Our eyes lock for a second and I quickly
look away.

Quinn is busy riding her hoover board around the house

oblivious to what is going on.

“Baby we have to go and bath now so we can go to the

mall with Bebe.” I say.
“No I don’t want to go, you can go with Bebe I’ll stay here
with Jay.”
“No you coming with me.” I say picking her up and I walk
upstairs with her. She starts screaming and kicking.
“Stop it or I’ll hit you.” I say.

I give her a bath while she’s still crying, I don’t even have
the energy to entertain her.

After getting her dressed I pack a few of my things and

her things, we’re going to sleep at home tonight. I would
go to my complex but I know Jason can come there
anytime.

I buckle Quinn in the backseat, at least she has stopped

crying but she’s still upset with me, I don’t care. I get in
on the driver’s seat and I drive off.

As I’m driving she starts kicking the seat in front of her.

“Can you stop that please.” I say looking at her through
the rearview mirror.

She looks at me but she doesn’t stop. I don’t know why

she’s being a devil child today.
“I said stop that or I’ll stop this car and hit you.” I’m dead
serious.
“I hate you! You should’ve left me with Jay I don’t want
to go to your stupid mall!”

Wow this child is really testing my patient today and she

picked the wrong day.
I pullover and I get out of the car walking around to her
side.

“Since when do we speak that way with adults?” I say

spanking her on her thigh two times and I immediately
regret it. She starts wailing again.

I get back in my seat and I start the car again.

“Baby I’m sorry I didn’t mean to do that. But you should

respect mommy.” I say. I feel bad now cause I’m taking
out my anger on the wrong person.
She continues crying.
“Do you forgive me?”
She nods but she’s still crying.
“Please stop crying if you forgive me.”
She stops and she wipes her tears with her hand.
“I love you.”
“I love you.” She replies.
I give her my phone so she can play her games.
....To be continued.
(Unedited)
....Continuation.

I get home and I text Babalwa to come out. Luckily mom

is not here, she’s at church for some function.

We drive to Gateway and I just tell Babalwa to get

whatever she wants just to avoid her famous question
“can I get this B?” I’m not in the mood for it. It was like I
opened the gates to heaven. I’ll be paying with Jason’s
card so I don’t really care how much we spend.
We go from shop after shop, I only bought myself two
pairs of shoes and I bought Quinn a few stuff so basically
we were here for Babalwa’s shopping. Jason has been
calling me non-stop but I keep ignoring his calls.

We bought dinner and drove back home at about 7 pm.

Quinn fell asleep on the way. I see mom’s car parked in
the yard, now I’m not sure if I actually want to sleep
here.

I drive in anyway and I park behind her car. I carry Quinn

inside while Babalwa is offloading the car.

“Oh this is a pleasant surprise, my baby.” She says trying

to take Quinn from me.
“She’s sleeping.” I say.
“You see I don’t like this thing of travelling with the child
late at night, let me go and put her down.” She takes her
and walks with her to her bedroom.

I help Babalwa get the rest of the stuff from the car. I
quickly fix the scarf around my neck when I see mom
coming back in the kitchen.
“So what brings you here Missy? Every time you come
here you always have unpleasant news for me.” She says.

I actually have unpleasant news for you, well I’m not sure
if they pleasant or unpleasant to you but my fiancé that
you hate so much proved you right, he’s a cheater and a
women abuser.

“I don’t have any news Mama, I just came to visit cause I

missed you guys.” I say.
“Oh that’s lovely. Unfortunately I can’t spend time with
you night, I had such a long day at church I just need to
lie down.”

Thank goodness!

“It’s okay, you can go and rest. I’ll still be here

tomorrow.” I say.
“You sleep well then, don’t forget to make sure all the
doors are locked.” She says walking away but she stops
and she turns around.
“Bulelwa I’m happy you’re here.” She says. I just smile
awkwardly cause I know I’m not here by choice and I kind
of feel bad.

I make sure all the doors are locked as instructed and I

find Babalwa in her room trying on her new clothes.

“That outfit looks good on you.” I say.

“You think?”
I nod. She’s wearing dusty pink high-waist pants and a
matching crop-top.

“Thank you. And thanks again for all of this B, you really
starting to take your deputy mom role seriously, keep it
up.”

Lol what? Smh.

“As much as I’d love to sit here and watch you try on all
the clothes, I also need my bed. I’m really sleepy.” I say.
“Dude it’s 8.30 pm.”
“I know but I’m tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Nighty then granny.” She says.
“Goodnight.” I say walking out.

I get to my old room. It still looks the same way I left it

when I moved out – it looks like a teenage girl’s room.
But at least it’s clean, I know mom is responsible for that
cause Babalwa would never. Being home feels somewhat
comforting.

I finally remove this scarf that’s been irritating me the

whole day and I look in the mirror hoping the bruises
have miraculously faded away. It’s still the same, if not
worse.
I remove my clothes and I put on my pajamas. I’m just
about to get in bed when the door suddenly opens and
Babalwa walks in.
“What do you think of this skir-“ she stops. “God B what
happened to your neck?” she asks in horror. She’s now
wearing a brown checked mini skirt with just her bra.
“Nothing.” I say grabbing the scarf but she grabs it from
my hand.
“No don’t hide it cause I’ve already seen it. What is going
on?”
“There’s nothing going on Babalwa this is just an allergy
reaction. Can I sleep?”
“B you’ve been a walking statue the whole day, you
ignoring Jay’s calls, you came to sleep here and now this
horrifying thing on your neck? Clearly there’s something
going on I’m not stupid.”
“Yippie you’ve figured it out! Can you leave me alone
now?”
“Not until you tell me what happened.”
“Jason did this to me.” I say holding back my tears.
“He hit you?” She widens her eyes. “But he doesn’t seem
like the violent type.” She adds.
“No he didn’t hit me. He strangled me, I almost died.”
“Dude don’t be dramatic.”
“Dramatic? Babalwa please leave my room.”
“Okay I’m sorry. It’s just hard to believe that he would do
something like that to you. Wena what did you do that
got him that angry?”
“What did I do? It doesn’t matter what I did. He has no
right to put his hands on me.”
“I know but I still want to know what did you do.”
“Just get out of my room.” She’s really pissing me off
right now.
“No. How long are you planning on ignoring his calls?
And how long are you planning on hiding here?”

I’m not hiding. Or am I?

“I don’t think I want to marry him anymore.” I say after a

moment.
“Are you crazy? Where will you find a man that will love
you the way he does?”
“If he loves me why does he keep on hurting me?” I’m
trying really hard not to cry right now.
She sits on my bed and she releases a deep sigh.

“You know I now believe it when they say don’t look at a

couple all happy and lovey-dovey and wish for what they
have cause you don’t really know what goes on behind
closed doors. You guys were the last people I thought
had problems in your relationship, I actually thought your
relationship was perfect. I thought you were happy.”

So we’re also one of those couples now? That’s

depressing.
I’m also seated on the bed now and I’m looking at my
stunning engagement ring on my finger.

“I think you should call him.” Babalwa says after a

moment of silence.
“I’m not going to do that.”
“Just to let him know you’re here, you’re safe. I’m sure
he’s worried sick.”
“I’m not gonna do that Babalwa I don’t care if he’s
worried.”
“I’ll do it then.” She says grabbing my phone but I snatch
it out of her hand.
“Please stop cause I’m not in the mood for this.” I say.
“Call him or I’ll call him using my phone.”

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I should call him. I dial his

number, look at me taking advise from a 17 year old.
He picks up on the 1st ring.

“Baby I-“ I cut him off.

“I’m home and I’ll sleep here tonight. Please stop calling
me.” I say and I hang up.
“That was harsh.”- Babalwa.
“I don’t care Babalwa and I said get out of my room.” I
say pushing her out and I lock the door. I don’t know
what is wrong with her, why is she concerned about him?
She should be sympathizing with me. You can only expect
so much from a 17 year old anyway.

I get in bed and I close my eyes and everything that

happened today comes back like a wave. Jason really put
his hands on me? It’s like it’s only registering now. The
fact that he didn’t even allow me to explain, he just went
all beast mode on me says a lot about his character.
What if him strangling me like that is a sign that one day
he will eventually strangle me to death? I mean it’s not
new in this country that you find a girl killed by her
boyfriend/spouse for something minor. I don’t want to
be in that statistic. Today he made me question if I
actually want to spend the rest of my life with him.

I hear my phone ringing and I reach for it to put it on

silent and to my surprise it’s Hlelo calling. I answer
reluctantly.

“Hey..”
“Hi B I hope I didn’t wake you up.”
“No not really.”
“Uhm..Lisebo told me what happened, what he did. Are
you okay?”

That question – are you okay?

“I’m just….” I break down.
“Ah… I’m so sorry Bulelwa..” she sounds broken as well.
“No I’m sorry I’m such a cry baby.”
“Don’t apologize, I understand how you must be feeling.
I’m very disappointed in Lisebo, I don’t know what the
fuck is wrong with him. I didn’t even call to apologize for
him, I was just worried about you.”

It’s my first time hearing Hlelo curse.

“Thank you. You know I’ve never been this confused in

my life. I’m feeling anger, confusion and love – all at the
same time. I don’t know what to do cause my heart still
wants him, I love him even after everything he has put
me through.”

She sighs.

“That’s the problem with love, you can’t control it. It’s
not something you can switch on and off based on the
person’s actions. I think you should take your time to
think about what you want to do, even if it means staying
away from him for a whole month, it will serve him right.
It’s barely been a day and he was already whining to me
that you not talking to him and he doesn’t know what to
do.”

Now it’s my turn to sigh.

“Honestly I don’t know. But thank you for this call, it

really means a lot.”
“No problem and if you ever need someone to talk to,
I’m just a phone call away. I might not have advise for
you but I’ll cry with you, we’ll be depressed together.”
I chuckle a bit. She’s very sweet.
“Thank you Hlelo.”
“It’s okay. You should get some rest cause you sound like
you’re tired. Tell my baby I said hi I’ll call her tomorrow
cause I’m sure she’s sleeping now.”
Quinn is her baby.
“I’m exhausted but I’ll tell her.”
We say our goodbyes and we hang up. Getting a call
from her has made me feel somewhat a little bit better. I
guess it helps to know that you’re not alone, that there is
someone who worries and cares about you.
---
I have no idea when I fell asleep but I was woken by my
mom very early cause she thought I was going to church
with her but I didn’t bring appropriate clothes for church
so she went with Quinn only. The whole morning before
they left I was wearing Babalwa’s polo-neck cause these
bruises are still clearly visible on my neck. It’s cold so it
wasn’t suspicious.

After they left I went to her room to look for something I

can apply on my neck, she always has antidotes for
everything and I found a cream that I think will help. I
took a shower first before applying it. I wore a long
sleeved black T-shirt and dark blue jeans with Babalwa’s
Spongebob sleepers – I find them cute plus they’re very
warm.
I’m sitting in front of the TV drinking coffee when I hear
my phone alerting a message. I check and yes you
guessed right, it’s Jason. He just texted “I’m outside.”
Like what do you mean you’re outside? You’re outside
where? Mxm I ignore the text and I toss my phone aside.

10 minutes later Babalwa walks out of her bedroom.

“Your man said I should tell you he’s outside.” She says.
“He’s outside where?”
“Here.”
“What?” I get up and I go and peek through the window.
I see my Audi parked outside by the street.
The hell? Why is he here? And why is he driving my car?
He has a nerve yazi.

“Please tell him to leave I don’t want to talk to him.” I say

settling on the couch again.
“No B go and talk to him otherwise I’ll tell mom what is
going on.”
“Oh do that and I’ll also tell her about the whole Kabelo
scandal, we’ll see how that will play out.”
“Really Bulelwa? You want to use that against me?”
I see tears in her eyes and she walks away. Okay that was
insensitive of me but she should stay out of my business.

I sit in the living room for 15 minutes before getting up. I

put the scarf on and I go to Jason in the car. I open the
passenger seat and I get in without saying anything. I
don’t even want to look at him.
“Hey.” He says.
“Why are you here?” I ask finally looking at him.
“I came to speak to you.”
“About?”
“Actually I want to apologize.”
“Oh….. You want to apologize for being a woman abuser?
Nx you disgust me yazi.” I say opening the door but it’s
locked.
“Jason open this door!” he’s pissing me off more.
“Not until you give me a chance to say what I want to
say.”
I remain quiet and I look away.

“Baby please..” he says talking my hand but I pull away.

“Don’t touch me Jason, I said open this door!”
“Sthandwa sami I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry? You think your little sorry will undo
everything you did? Why did you put your hands on me
Jason? Why did you choked me like that? You want me to
die? The fact that you didn’t even allow me to explain,
you just attacked me and then you claim to love me? You
honestly thought I would cheat on you? With your friend
even? Something that has never even crossed my mind.
To think a couple of weeks ago I found out you were
cheating on me and I managed to forgive but you find
lousy messages on my phone and you react that way?
This is actually all your fault cause had you been faithful, I
wouldn’t have gotten drunk and called your friend yet
I’m the one who’s paying for it. You made doubt if I still
want to marry you because honest to God, I can’t stand
abusive and explosive people. The first time you showed
me that you actually are an explosive person when you
got angry and threw the glass on the wall. I let that slide
cause I was on the wrong, or so it seemed and you didn’t
put your hands on me but it can’t go on like that. I will
not live with a man I fear and I am certainly not marrying
a man I fear.”
He takes my hand again but I pull away again.

“You know I love you Bulelwa. I know I hurt you and I will
probably resent myself for the rest of my life for what
happened yesterday, I’m feeling like shit as we speak. I
honestly don’t know what got into me yesterday, you
know I’m not a women abuser. I didn’t mean to hurt you,
you’re my number one person in this world and hurting
you only means I’m hurting myself 10x more, why would
I want to cause myself that grief? I hate myself for every
pain I’ve put you through. I love you with all my heart
and soul and everything that I am and I’m willing to do
everything it takes to be a better man, to be the man
that you deserve. I will also work on my anger issues.
What happened yesterday will never happen again I
promise. Just please don’t shut me out, it’s killing me.”

At least he acknowledges his wrongs and his apology

sounds sincere. And he’s right, I know he loves me and I
know he’s a good man. He just needs to let go of the
demon living inside him which gets unleashed every time
he’s angry, remember no one is perfect and that is his
flaw.

“I hope it never happens again Jason because I will not

be in an abusive relationship, that is one thing I will never
tolerate – any form of abuse for that matter. No man has
ever laid a hand on me, not even my late father so it will
not start with you. Yesterday you made me so angry I
even hit my child which is something I don’t do. I will not
become an angry person because of you. Fail to control
your anger again, not only will this relationship end, I will
also press charges against you for domestic violence…”

As I’m speaking I see Babalwa walking out of the house

wearing a robe. She walks to the car but she goes around
to Jason’s window which is opened.
“Hello Mr Jay!” she says with the brightest smile. What
the hell?
“Hi Bebe.” Jason greets back.
“Okay look.. Did you see what you did to my sister’s
neck?” she says and the smile has turned to a very mean
bitchy face.
“Babalwa..” I barge in.
“Shh.” She says pointing at me. “Mr Jay I respect you but
dare put your hands on my sister again, you’ll have me to
deal with and trust me you wouldn’t wish that on your
worst enemy. Do you hear me?” she says looking at
Jason.
“I hear you and I’m sorry.” He says.
“Good. By the way it was lovely to see you.” She says
with her bright smile again before walking away.

What just happened?

He looks at me and I can see the remorse in his eyes.

“Can I see your neck?” he says.

I remove my scarf and I seem him clenching his jaw and

he bangs the staring wheel with the side of his fist.
“I’m deeply sorry my love.” He says touching my neck.
“It’s okay.” I say taking his hand – the one touching my
neck and I hold it.
“It’s not okay Bulelwa, I gave you bruises. What kind of a
man am I? I’m meant to be protecting you but I’m the
one who is hurting you.”

I remain quiet, I’ve said everything I wanted to say to

him. We sit in silence for a few minutes.

“So when can my uncles come here?” he says.

“When do you want them to come?”
“Anytime, even next weekend.”
“No not next weekend, I still have to inform my family
and they will set up a date.”
“Well tell them to hurry, I just want us to be official
already.” He says kissing my hand. I also can’t wait to call
him my husband.
“We’re not in a rush for anything.” I say. Remember I’m
trying to get pregnant and I am not having my wedding
whilst bloated.
“What made you take this car?” I ask.
“I missed you. This car still has your aura, I stayed in this
car almost the whole night last night. Can we go home
now?”
“No Jase, mom is still at church with Quinn, I can’t just
leave.”
“Let’s go to the mall or something, I want to spend time
with you.”
“No! You can go, I’ll see you later.”

We chill in the car for like 20 more minutes before he

leaves. I get inside and I can hear Babalwa singing in the
shower, she’s singing Adele – Make You Feel My Love. I
just stand by the door and I listen. She has such a smooth
angelic voice which is practically a waste cause you
hardly hear her singing. I remember when she was asked
to join the church worship team she’s was like.. I’m
forced to come to church every Sunday, what makes you
think I’ll be delighted to join your stupid worship team?
Trust me that wasn’t the rudest thing she has ever said. If
I had a voice like hers, I’d make sure it’s known
everywhere I go. Probably the reason why God never
gave it to me.
She walks out as I’m still standing here.
“I’m sorry about what I said earlier, I didn’t mean it.” I
say cause I honestly feel bad.
“Don’t mention it.” She says and she walks in her
bedroom closing the door.

Mom came back with Quinn and I helped her cook

Sunday lunch. When I asked her to inform my uncles to
set a date for my lobola negotiations she made it official
that she doesn’t want to be a part of it. So I have no
choice but to put on my big girl pants and handle
everything myself. It’s sad but as long as she’s there on
my big day – that’s all that matters.
---
The next two weeks were uneventful. The only thing I’ve
been doing is having sex with Jason every chance I get,
he even noticed that my libido is always high these days
but he wasn’t complaining. The craziest thing is that I
think the bun is already cooking. I’ve noticed some
symptoms like I’m always tired, I eat more than I should
and my perky boobs are full. It’s crazy right? To think
there might be a little Lisebo growing inside me. Crazy
and exciting. I won’t stop collecting those sperms though,
incase it’s a false alarm.

Today I decided to pay him a visit at work and bring him

lunch. I tell the secretary not to tell him I’m here cause I
want to surprise him. I get on the lift and it takes me to
the 7th floor where his office is at. I see the door is
closed, good. I press the intercom – his has an intercom
on his door.
“Who is it?” he asks. So rude. What if it was one of his
clients?
“The police.” I say in a deep voice but I think my laugh
just gave away that it’s me.

He opens the door with a smirk.

“Am I getting arrested?” he says.

“Yes you have been charged for stealing this woman’s
heart.” I say. Some guy a few years ago actually tried
using that pickup line on me, the lamest I’ve ever heard.
“Ugh come here!” he says pulling me inside his office and
he closes the door pushing me against it.
“What did I do to deserve this pleasant surprise?” he says
already kissing me.
“I just brought you lunch.”
“Hmm which lunch are you talking about?”
“Your favourite.” I say and I bite my bottom lip.
“Like you knew I’m starving.” He pulls me closer and he
starts kissing me deeper. I wrap my arms around his
neck, my one hand is carrying the takeaway with the
food that he doesn’t really care about.

We continue kissing and it’s getting steamy. He picks me

up and I wrap my legs around his waist.
“I’m also hungry, very hungry.” I say in between the kiss
already breathing heavily.

He places me on his desk. Mind you, there are couches in

his office and a coffee table. He also has a coffee station
and his own bathroom in his office – perks of being a
boss. But I’m not complaining that he put me on his desk,
I also want it on the desk. He stands between my legs, I
deliberately wore a short dress to make things easier for
him. He puts his hand between my thighs and he pushes
my underwear aside before inserting his finger, I moan
throwing my head back, I’m already dripping.

He takes his finger out and he licks it.

“This food tastes delicious.” He says.
“You’re so nasty.” I say unbuckling his belt. I just came
here to collect his sperm to be honest. No I’m joking I
missed him.

He slams in me so hard I want to scream! He thrusts in

and out a few times before holding me tight, don’t tell
me he’s about to cum? What the hell? I swear that lasted
literally 2 minutes. Damn this has never happened
before.

I look down trying to hide the disappointment which I’m

sure is clearly visible on my face.
“Baby..” he says caressing my exposed thighs.
“Hmm?” I say still facing down.
“You mad?”
“Why? No.” I say trying to sound convincing.
“I’m sorry.” He says.
“Don’t apologize, it’s not your fault. These things happen.
Let me go and get myself cleaned up so we can eat the
proper food.” I say gently pushing him aside and I jump
off the desk and I walk in the bathroom. I’m not mad I’m
just disappointed. What could be the cause of that?

When I walk out of the bathroom I find him sitting on the

couch looking devastated and my job is to make him feel
better. I take the food and I join him on the couch.
“I’m really sorr-“ I stop him.
“I said don’t apologize, I’m cool really.” I place a kiss on
his cheek. “Guess what I bought.”
He sighs.
“Sushi?”
God this man is obsessed with sushi
“Nice try but no.”
“Oh…….” He says when he sees what I got.

We eat and we just chill on the couch. I ate my food and

also finished off his. I’m sitting in between his legs with
my back rested against him and our fingers are entwined.

“You know Hlelo is still mad at me for what I did to you,

she won’t answer my calls and she doesn’t respond to
any of my texts.” He says.
“Serves you right. Next time you think about hurting me
remember I have one of yours sisters on my side.”
“She scolded me on the phone for an hour, wasn’t that
enough? And I had to beg her not to tell the folks cause
they’d disown me, especially mom.”
“You know what she said to me? She said I should stay
away from you for an entire month.”
“Yho you wouldn’t punish me like that baby, would you?”
“I can do worse, try me.”
“Yeah a person would think you and Hlelo are the
sweetest people on earth when you actually are the
devil’s wives.” He says and I can’t help laughing at that.
His desk phone has been ringing non-stop and keeps
ignoring. Like what kind of boss is this?
“I have to go now.” I say.
“Where are you going?”
“I have to fetch the child from school and you need to
get back to work.”
“I’m tired of working now, I’ll go with you.”
“No babe. You see I’ll never visit you here again cause
you always do this.”

So I forced him to stay at the office and continue with

work and I drove to the chemist to buy the pregnancy
test before driving to Quinn school. I’m not going to take
the test today though.
Jase came back from work earlier than usual which was
pointless cause he stayed in his study the whole
afternoon and continued working.

He walks in the bedroom as I’m preparing to go for a

shower. He’s carrying a wine bottle and two wine
glasses. The wine is alcoholic so I need an excuse not to
drink it.
“Fancy a movie?” he says.
“Yeah but I’m tired, I’ll sleep 5 minutes into it.”
He puts the bottle and glasses on the nightstand and he
comes to me.
“No you not tired.” He says and he starts tickling me and
I fall on the bed.
“Jason stoooop!” I yell whilst giggling. He knows I don’t
like being tickled. He stops and our eyes are locked now.
He slowly brings his face closer and he starts kissing me.

We make beautiful passionate love, you know the kind

which revives the love? I even cried, don’t ask me why
cause I also don’t know. When Jason asked me why am I
crying I told him I love him that’s why I’m crying.
---
I decided I’m going to take the test today. It’s Wednesday
and Jason’s birthday is on Saturday. I’m very anxious
cause what if I’m not pregnant? What will I do cause I
don’t even have plan B. I know the symptoms are there, I
was even throwing up this morning but there is still a
chance that the test will say negavite.

I go in the closet to get the test where I had hidden it and

I come back in the bedroom and I just sit on the bed
reading the instructions as if I don’t know how a
pregnancy test works.

I say a little prayer before walking in the bathroom. I pee

on the stick as per instructions and I leave it on the basin
counter.

I’m sitting on the bed again biting the back of my left

hand as I’m anxiously waiting for the results. My
emotions are all over the place right now and I think I’m
going to throw up.
The instructions said I should wait 5 minutes but I’m
pretty sure I waited 20 minutes. Okay this is it, this is the
make or break moment. I get up and I walk back in the
bathroom but I close my eyes when I get to the counter.
I’m scared to look.
I do a few breathing exercises just to calm myself down
and prepare for whatever the test says and I finally open
my before looking at it.

Oh wow………..
*
*
*
*
This is probably the worst chapter in the entire story 🤣 I
really tried making it readable but yho 🤦🏻 I'm really
sorry guys and I promise better chapters after this.
😂😂
Chapter Fifteen

I stand there staring at the stick for like 5 minutes, I just

can’t believe this. I actually feel like crying. 2 weeks
pregnant – I’m going to be a mom again. I’m overjoyed
and overwhelmed at the same time. I was almost sure I
was pregnant but now that the test has confirmed it, it’s
just surreal.
I place my hand on my still flat tummy.

“Hi baby..” I whisper and the tears start rolling down my

face, I can’t help it. If I say I’m happy that would be an
understatement. I’m ecstatic! I’m thrilled! I’m over the
moon! I remember the last time I went through this I also
cried but it wasn’t happy tears. I thought my life was
ruined, I even contemplated terminating it but today I’m
feeling quite the opposite of how I felt with my first
pregnancy. Who would have thought at 24 I’d be
engaged and expecting baby number two? The best part
is that I’m having a baby with the best man, the love of
my life. I just want to grab the phone and call him,
Saturday seems too far now.

I take the test and I hide it again. It’s going to be the

longest two days of my life. Why didn’t I just take the test
on Friday? Because I’m impatient, that’s why. Ugh!
---
The next two days dragged okay! Today is Friday and we
just got back home with Quinn from the mall to buy
Jason’s gift. She decided on buying him a big teddy bear
and a card lol but I bought him a Rolex watch a week ago
which I’ll add as a gift from her. I also bought him this
beautiful custom made grand-piano, rose gold in colour
which will be delivered tomorrow. I didn’t know what
else to buy him. I know he has a piano in Jo’burg but if
we get one here maybe he’ll sing for me when I ask him
to. Plus it’s a great decoration for the house.

I’ve managed to hide my secret from everyone and Jason

isn’t suspecting anything so everything is going according
to plan so far.

“Mommy how do you spell appreciate?” that’s Quinn.

She’s writing a message on the card.

I spell it out for her and we hide the gifts when we hear
Jason’s car driving in. MaDlamini has gone home for the
weekend and I’ll also take Quinn to my mom’s place
tomorrow, I have something else planned for Jason and I
don’t need them here. And no it’s not a party, imagine
inviting other people to share my man on his birthday?
Can never be me.

We eat dinner and we chill in the living room watching a

movie, just the 3 of us. Or rather 4 of us. Quinn made us
watch some Marvel movie but she fell asleep halfway
through it. We changed it and watched an action movie. I
wasn’t an action movie fan before but Jase loves them
now I enjoy them too. We probably went to bed after
midnight.
---
Saturday morning I woke up early and woke Quinn as
well and we made Jason’s favourite breakfast and served
him in bed. Quinn also gave him the gifts and guys the
message she wrote on the card almost made me cry.
Jason was genuinely happy.

We spent the whole day together. I took Jason to all his

favourite places, we even went horseback riding and he
was so excited like a small kid. Next year I’ll buy him a
horse for his birthday since he loves them so much. And
Quinn also wants one.
After the long but awesome day, we drop Quinn at my
mom’s place and we drive home. We enter the house
and I pull him to where I said they should place the
piano.

“What is this now?” he asks when he sees it.

“It’s your birthday gift from yours truly.” I say taking a
seat in front of the piano and I start singing happy
birthday to you whilst pressing any key.

The way he’s looking at me, I know he’s about to say

something stupid.

“Not only do you have a horrible voice, your piano skills

suck as well.” He says laughing.

I knew it.

“Mxm. Remind me never to do anything nice for you

again.”
“Don’t worry I’ll teach you, in a week you’ll be playing
like a pro.” He says also taking a seat next to me.
“Wait, was this custom made?” he asks when he notices
his initials on the side.
I nod.
“Baby no one has ever done something so special for me,
thank you so much.” He says and pecks my lips. He
doesn’t know the best is yet to come.

“Come on, I have something else for you in our

bedroom.” I say getting up.
“Oh… I think I know what it is.” He says with a smirk.
“No you don’t.”

We walk up the stairs randomly stopping to kiss but we

make it to our bedroom with all our clothes still on, issa
miracle. I open the door but I don’t switch on the lights.

“Wow…could this night get any better?” he says hugging

me from behind. I swear I felt something move in my
tummy.
I got someone to set up a romantic indoor picnic and
they did an impressive job. The whole room is lit with
candles and small flashing bulbs, there are flower petals
thrown on the floor, there’s an ice bucket with a bottle of
champagne in it and I have most of his favourite food
there, including sushi.

He sits on one of the cushions and I sit across him.

“No B here’s your sit right here.” He says and places
another cushion in between his legs. I smile before
walking over to sit there.
“Why is this champagne non-alcoholic?” he asks as he
pops the cork open.
“I don’t want to get drunk on alcohol, I want to get drunk
on your love.” I say hoping that reason is good enough
for him not to suspect anything.
He chuckles.

Being in each other’s presence in this setting is such an

amazing feeling, it’s like no one else exists in this world,
it’s just us. And the mood is just perfect, those random
kisses in between conversation, Jesus I am actually drunk
on his love right now. Even though my mind is stuck on
what I have to reveal to him. I’m actually nervous now
cause what if this whole thing backfires? What if he
doesn’t want a baby anymore or if he isn’t ready for a
baby right now?

“I have one last thing for you.” I say getting up and I

switch on the lights. By the way we have stripped all our
clothes off and we were just chilling in our underwear.
“No you don’t.” he says.
“Yes I do.” I say and I walk in the closet to where I hid the
test. I had placed it in a long jewellery box and wrapped
it up like a gift.
I go back to him and I hand the box to him.
“What is this?” he asks.
“Open and see.” I say.
He starts peeling of the gift wrapper. He pauses and he
looks at me.
“You look so nervous, are you proposing to me?” he says
with a stupid grin on his face. I just give him the look.

He unwraps the whole box before opening it.

“What is this?” he looks confused. Gosh don’t tell me he

doesn’t know a pregnancy test?
He takes it out of the box to look at it properly.
“2 weeks?” he still looks confused.

I nod.

“Wait is this a…. Does this mean you’re….?”

I nod again smiling.

“What?” he says and he puts his hand over his mouth.

He’s still holding the test and he’s just staring at it. This is
not the reaction I expected.
I hear him sniff, oh my God he’s crying!

“Baby are you crying?” I say walking to him. I kneel next

to him and I wrap my arms around him. This is my first
time seeing him cry and I don’t know what it means.

“I’m going to be a father, you made me a man Bulelwa.”

He says still looking at the test in his hand. I just hold him
tight. Now he’s going to make me cry as well.

He suddenly gets up.

“I’m going to be a father Bulelwa! Can you believe that?
I’m going to be a father!” he yells picking me up and he
spins me around. I giggle.
“Thank you so much sthandwa sam.” He says and he
kisses me before running to the sliding door that leads to
the balcony, he opens it and he runs out. He stands by
the balcony and he yells “Hey everyone I’m going to be a
father!” lol what the hell? Now this is the Jason I know.
Okay these neighbours are just as crazy cause I just heard
someone yelling back “congratulations!” I don’t know
where it came from though.

He comes back to me and he hugs me again.

“Baby thank you so much. I thought you were on birth
control.” He says and plants a kiss on my lips.
“I got it removed when you were in Jo’burg.” I say. I’m
honestly relieved that he’s happy about it.
“This is literally the best thing that has ever happened to
me.” He says.
“Oh… I thought I was the best thing that has ever
happened to you?” So he lied to me?
“You are! This is the best thing after you of course. Can I
feel my baby?”
“It’s still too early to feel anything but you can place your
hand right here.” I take his hand and I place it on my
abdomen.
“You can’t feel him but he can definitely feel you, I just
felt something move inside, it happens every time you
touch my tummy.”
“Really?” he kneels down. “Hello daddy’s boy, how are
you doing in there?” he says talking to my tummy and he
kisses it.

It’s funny how we’ve just concluded that it’s a boy. I want
a boy and my gut feeling tells me it’s a boy but I’d still be
happy if it’s a girl.

He’s been kneeling in front of me talking to my belly and

caressing it for like 10 minutes now, I’m tired and I want
him to stop.

“Baby I want to make love.” I say. That’s the only way I

can get his attention.
“Wait I’m still bonding with my son.” He says.

Rolling eyes!

“But I need you right now, I want you to fuck me.”

What? I’m also shocked by my own words but at least it
got his attention.
“You want me to what babe?” he says getting up with a
smirk and I also want to laugh.
“Say that again.” He says.
“No.” I say looking away, I’m suddenly shy.

He takes my face in his hands and he looks into my eyes

before kissing the life out of me. All I can say is what
happened after that left my lower body paralyzed. No he
really fucked me and he went overboard, I was even
cursing at him. I thought I was going to end up on the
show ‘Sex sent me to ER’.
---
I’m woken with breakfast in bed. Damn he made so much
food.
“This is a lot of food, are you eating with me?” I ask.
“No you need to be well fed, akere you’re eating for two
people now, you can’t starve my son.”

Dude it’s OUR son!

“Your son doesn’t even have a mouth yet.”

“That’s why you need to eat so he can grow a mouth. So
who are we telling first about him?” He says placing his
hand on my tummy, that movement again.
“Did you feel that?”
“What?” he asks.
“I felt something move again. Anyway I think we
shouldn’t tell anyone for now.”
“Why? Babe I’ve waited my whole life for this.”
“I know but I don’t think it’s wise to reveal a pregnancy
this early, let’s wait until I’m three months far at least.”
“No that’s too far, can’t we tell family at least?”

There he goes again.

“Can’t we just agree on something without having to

argue about it?”
“Okay..whatever makes you happy.” He says.
“Thank you.”
“Now we have a reason to speed up the wedding
proceedings.”
What does he mean cause I see this pregnancy as a
reason to delay the wedding a bit.

“I’m not having my wedding whilst looking like a cow

Jase.”
“Do you look like a cow right now?”
“No but my tummy will eventually grow and my body will
change.”
“Babe you’d still be the most beautiful woman in the
room even if you gained a 1000 pounds. We can do the
lobola negotiations next weekend and the traditional
wedding the weekend after that, and the white wedding
the following weekend, that way we can get everything
done before you… you know.”
“Before I get fat? Say it.”
“No that is not what I mean.”
“That is exactly what you mean. We can have the
traditional wedding but not the white wedding, I want
my day to be perfect and that will take a lot of time to
plan.”
“You know you can get everything you want even if we
got married next week.”
“No Jase I want my dress to be designed and made by an
American designer and I can’t get that in a space of three
weeks.”
“Yes you can.”

I give him the look cause he’s frustrating me right now.

“Okay whatever you want.” He says raising his hands

showing surrender.

Hey now is this pregnancy making me win arguments so

easily?
---
It’s been two weeks since I revealed the pregnancy to
Jason and I already hate it. No guys it’s like I completely
lost my fiancé, he gives my stomach more attention than
he gives me and it really annoys me. When I try to have
conversations with him, he’s always resting his big head
on my tummy pretending to be listening when he’s
actually not. I know this is his first child but I’m also his
fiancée, I need his attention as well. And the only thing
he finds interesting to talk about is the baby. Honestly if
he carries on this way I don’t think I’ll enjoy this
pregnancy.

I’ve spoken to my uncles and they confirmed that my

lobola negotiations will be this Saturday. My aunt (my
father’s sister) will also come to help me out since my
mom decided to cut herself out. You see my father’s side
of the family is not close, like they don’t randomly visit or
even call – everyone just lives their separate lives but
when you need them, they all come through. I’ll be going
home on Thursday.
---
Today is a Tuesday and I woke up with severe cramps on
my lower abdomen, when I went in the shower I realised
I started my periods. I know it’s common to go on your
periods when you’re pregnant but I still booked an
appointment with my gynecologist just to be sure
everything is okay. This will be my first checkup by the
way and unfortunately Jase can’t come with me cause he
has a very important meeting. He wanted me to
postpone for tomorrow but I can’t bare the pain I’m
feeling.
....To be continued.
Might post the rest later today, not promising anything
though. 💕
(Unedited)
Chapter Sixteen

I take a deep breath before walking in slowly. I see my

baby lying there on the hospital bed with an oxygen
musk on her face, my heart literally breaks.

There’s an Indian female nurse checking the breathing

machine and writing something down. She’s facing the
other way so she hasn’t seen me yet. I walk closer and
she turns around.

“Hi, you must be the mother?” she says with the tiniest
voice I’ve ever heard.
I nod.
“You can come in.” She says.
“Is she okay?” that’s all I’m worried about right now.
“Yes she’s perfectly fine. Her teacher just left literally a
minute ago. I’ll get the doctor, he will explain everything
to you. You can take a seat in the meantime.” She says
before walking out.

I don’t want to sit. I walk closer to the bed and I take my

daughter’s hand. She opens her eyes slowly, she looks so
weak. I can see she wants to say something so I remove
the oxygen musk from her face.
“Mommy where am I?” she says in a husky voice.
“You’re in hospital baby, look who I came with.” I say
giving her the teddy bear.

She takes it and she clings it to her chest. Now she’s just
staring into space.

“You okay?” I ask.

She nods. I kiss her forehead.
The doctor walks in he greets me.

“Oh the little princess is awake, let’s see how is it going

here.” He says checking the file – the one the nurse was
writing on and he also goes to the breathing machine.

“Is everything okay?” I ask.

“Uh…looks like I’ll have to keep her here overnight, her
breathing is still not stable. When she got here she’s
wasn’t breathing at all, luckily they managed to get her
out of the water just in time, had she stayed under that
water for just a few seconds more, I don’t think she
would have made it.” He says.

Wow.. So I almost lost my child?

“I’ll come back in about 15 minutes to check again and

confirm if I’m keeping her here or not.” He says and he
also writes something on the file before walking out.
We’re left alone again.
“Do you know what happened baby?” I ask.
She nods. Oh she does?
“How did you drown?”
“We were swimming at school and then the scary old
man appeared underwater, he kept pulling me down
when I tried to swim up.” She explains.

This scary old man has gone too far now. It was fun and
cute when he was just scaring her but now he wants to
harm her? Who is that even? Why are they torturing my
baby? What do they want from her cause she’s just an
innocent soul.

I see Jase walking in carrying a bunch of pink roses and

another teddy bear. I meet him halfway, he wraps his
arms around me and I start crying on his chest. All this
long I had managed to keep it together but I can’t
anymore.

“I almost lost my child.” I cry with my face buried on his

chest.
“Shh it’s okay..don’t cry in front of her, you’ll scared her.”
He says.

I wipe my tears before turning to her. She’s now playing

with her teddy bear but she looks very miserable. I don’t
like seeing my child like this.

“Hey princess how are you feeling? I bought you flowers

and a friend for your teddy bear.” Jason says wiggling the
teddy bear in his hand. Quinn smiles for the first time
since I got here.
“What is this one’s name?” he asks pointing at the one
Quinn is holding.
“It’s Mr Cuddles.” She says.
“Oh so this one will be Mr Bubbles.” He says.

Quinn giggles and I also find myself smiling.

“Jay are you my daddy?” she asks suddenly.

Jase and I both look at each other. Where is this coming
from? I don’t know what to say and I don’t think he
knows what to say either.

“Uhm…yeah, of course. Why do you ask?” he says.

“Cause I don’t want to call you Jay anymore, I want to
call you daddy. Can I call you daddy?”

He looks at me again. Does he expect me to say

anything? I’m not part of this conversation.

“Yeah of course you can buddy, I mean daughter..uh you

get what I mean.”

Why does he sound so nervous? We’ll have to talk about

this when we’re alone.

The doctor came back and confirmed that she has to stay
overnight but Jason refused. He said he’ll get a private
doctor who will monitor her breathing from home so we
left with her.
When the private doctor came he did his thing and told
us there’s nothing wrong with the child’s breathing, they
probably wanted her to stay at the hospital overnight so
we can pay more. So even doctors are crooks? We also
told him what caused her to drown and he
recommended that we let Quinn see his wife who is a
psychologist.

I was thanking MaDlamini for bringing my MacBook

inside cause I left it outside earlier and I was just telling
her what happened. She also had her own
recommendation – she thinks we should see a traditional
healer cause she doesn’t think the medical doctors can
help. I know it’s against my religion and everything I
believe in but right now I’m willing to do anything to help
my baby. I’ve prayed for her, I’ve had my pastor pray for
her, I took her to the doctor but nothing helped so this is
the last option. MaDlamini said she knows a good
traditional healer and she’ll take me there tomorrow
morning. My mom would kill me if she had to find out.
---
The next day I woke up very early, took a shower and
prepared breakfast for Jason and Quinn to eat when they
get up. She’s not going to school and Jase will stay with
her since he’s not going to work as well.

By the way I’m still faking the pregnancy and I feel like
shit about it. And with Jason getting excited about it
every minute it’s not helping at all. He has started
shopping for baby stuff online and last night he was
talking about getting an interior designer to do the
nursery or something like that, I wasn’t paying attention.
So how do you even begin telling someone like that, that
there’s no baby?

The time is 6.30 am when we drive out of the yard with

MaDlamini. She directs me to some township like 50
minutes away from where we stay and we finally stop at
this secluded house. The yard is huge with just a RDP
house and two rondavels behind the house.

We get out of the car and she leads me to one of the

rondavels. Last night she told me I need to wear a skirt
and a head wrap now she’s telling me we need to take
off our shoes. Seriously what’s with this exertion? Can’t
we just do what we came here for and leave? Anyway I
take of my sneakers leaving the socks on.

Okay I’m glad we didn’t have to come with Quinn here,

this place looks creepy as fuck. The room is dark with one
window allowing in a small amount of light and it has this
weird smell, I actually had to stop myself from putting
my hand over my nose.

We’re instructed to sit on a straw mat. I’m not sure if this

healer is a male or female, she looks like a female but the
voice is too deep for a female. Any she asks why are we
here. Wait, isn’t she the one who is supposed to be
telling us why are we here? I heard these people tell you
your reason for coming before you even say a word.
Okay MaDlamini explains to her our reason for coming
here. Did I tell you she randomly roars which I find freaky
and I can’t help but flinch every time she does it.
She makes me blow in some bag and she roars again
before throwing whatever is in that bag on the floor. She
shoots me a scary look before looking at those things on
the floor again.

“You’ve recently gotten into a new relationship.” She

says.

Well Jason and I have been in a relationship for over a

year now so I don’t know if that’s still considered as new
but I nod nonetheless.

“There’s a man who is not happy about this

relationship.” She says.

I want to ask who is that man hating so we can go and

shoot him. No focus Bulelwa. But guys you have to
understand this is my first time doing this and I find it
fascinating.

“Where is your father?” she asks still looking at me.

“My father died when I was 9 in a car crash.” I reply.

She roars again and she looks at me shaking her head as

if I’m talking nonsense.

“And your mother?” she asks.

“Mother is at home.” I say.
“The truth will set you free. Go to your mother and
demand the truth about your father’s death.” She says.

Wait what now? What truth cause I know my father died

in a car crash, I was old enough to understand. You see
why I don’t believe in these things in the first place? And
what does my father’s death have to do with Quinn
being haunted? Now I feel like I wasted my time coming
here cause I’m leaving more questions than answers and
feeling more confused.

Anyway she gives me a tiny bottle and she tells me to rub

whatever’s inside on Quinn’s forehead every night before
she goes to bed, apparently it will chase away bad spirits.
We leave the money on the floor and just as we’re about
to walk out she stops us. What now?

“You, where’s your youngest son?” She’s looking at

MaDlamini now.
“My son was murdered last year.” MaDlamini says and
you can hear the hurt in her voice.

The healer looks at me again. Oh no! I swallow hard.

“The truth will set you free. You can go.” She says.

Jesus how does she know? Now I fully believe in these

things. Does she mean I should tell MaDlamini the truth
about her son’s murder? I might as well start looking for
a new helper cause I know she’s going to hate me.
Everything is just a mess right now.

We drive back home and I start packing the things we’ll

need for the weekend since we’ll come back on Sunday.
My lobola negotiations are another thing stressing me
out, I’m praying that everything goes well and hopefully
when I come back here I’ll be traditionally married to this
man busy kissing my stomach.

“Stop Quinn is coming.” I say pushing his big head away

from my tummy.

“Mommy we can go now!” Quinn says as she walks in our

bedroom.
“I’m going to miss all 3 of you.”- Jason.
“But daddy there are only two of us, it’s me and
mommy.” Quinn corrects him. Unfortunately she’s right,
it’s just me and her.

Oh Jase and I talked about her wanting to call him daddy

and we agreed that we’ll let her call him daddy but as
soon as she’s old enough to understand, I will explain
everything to her. I don’t want her to hate me when she
finds out the truth from other people later, just like how
I’m going to hate my mom if she really is hiding
something about my father.
*
*
*
*
I see I've reached 300 page likes but my post
likes/reactions are still stuck on an average of 30 💔🚶🏻
....Continuation.

Babalwa had texted me earlier to fetch her from school

since she has extra classes which end at 6 pm. She’s
working really hard shame, I promised her that if she
passes her matric with at least 4 distinctions I will give
her my Audi to use until she gets her own car. I hardly
use it anyway but I can’t give it to her to fully own, she
must work hard so she can buy herself her first car.

So I fetch her from school and we drive home. I know my

mom won’t be pleased to see us since she knows we
came for something she’s totally against. Or rather she
won’t be pleased to see me – she’s always happy to see
her grandchild.
We get home and we find her cooking.
“You shouldn’t have cooked cause we’ll buy dinner.” I
say.
“No one cared to tell me cause that’s how I don’t mean
anything to any of you.” She says.
“You such a drama queen Mama.” Babalwa makes a
remark.
“Mama I need to speak to you.” I say.
“If it’s about your wedding or whatever’s happening on
Saturday, I don’t want to hear it.” She says.

No she really is a drama queen.

“No it’s not about that, can we talk in private please.” I

say.
She looks at me quizzically before reducing the heat on
the stove.
“We can go to my room.” She says already leading the
way.
“Really guys?” Babalwa says behind us.

We enter her room and I close the door before sitting

next to her on the bed, there’s a space between us
though. I’m just going to get straight to the point.

“Mama I know you haven’t been honest with me

regarding dad’s passing.” Her reaction to this will tell me
if there is actually a ‘secret’ or not.

She freezes and she widens her eyes. So she is hiding

something.

“What?” she says trying to hide her shock but I can see
her chest is rising up and down rapidly. She’s definitely
hiding something.

“I know you’re hiding something about my dad’s death.”

“Where do you get that from? You know your father died
in a car accident, so what am I hiding?”
“No that is not the truth and it doesn’t matter where I
got it from but I need to know the truth.” I say looking at
her.
“I don’t know what you want me to say cause I am telling
you there is nothing I’m hiding!”

Yho this is going to be more difficult than I thought.

“Mama my child is being haunted by some old man and

the truth from you is the only thing that can stop it.
Yesterday she almost died, would you rather have my
child die because you won’t let out your little “secret”?
Do you hate me that much?” I think I’m about to get
emotional.

She sighs.
“I never thought this day would ever come.” She says
taking of her glasses and she rubs her eyes. Haibo kanti
how bad is it?
“Babalwa get away from the door and stop
eavesdropping!” she yells.
“Dude I’m not!” Babalwa yells back but we can hear her
walking away. How did she know she was standing there
cause the door is closed?

“I know you’re going to hate me after what I’m about to

tell you but I’d rather have you hate me than lose my one
and only grandchild.” She says. I knew the Quinn card
would make her talk. I just look at her waiting for her to
talk.

“Bulelwa your father and I did not have a perfect

marriage that everyone believed we had. Your father was
not the man you think he was and I’m also not the
woman you think I am. Your father was an abusive man,
both emotionally and physically. He would cheat on me
and then beat me up for finding out about it. I was not
happy in that marriage but I couldn’t leave because when
I got married they told me at home that I will only come
back in a coffin. So I lived to be beaten up and cursed at
like a dog – that life became a norm for me. I think you
were 5 when your father left us and went on one of his
supposed business trips for a month. Whilst he was away
I met someone who made me feel the same way your
father made me feel when we started dating. For the first
time I cheated on him with that man and got pregnant
with Babalwa. It was only when I informed that man that
I was pregnant with his child that he told me he was
married and had his own family. He told me he wants
nothing to do with the baby cause it was going to destroy
his marriage so we agreed that I was going to raise
Babalwa with your father as his own child and I managed
to do that until Babalwa turned 3. Till this day I don’t
know how he found out she’s not his child but that day
he beat me up to a point where I almost died. But that
wasn’t enough, the same day at night I overheard him
talking on the phone planning to kill me. He was telling
whoever he was talking to that they going to fake a
house break-in and kill me. But I beat him to it, I killed
him first and put my misery to sleep.”

I have tears streaming down my face. I’m beyond

shocked I’m even lost of words. My mother is a
murderer. My mother killed my father but she’s showing
no remorse whatsoever.
“Are you lying cause my father isn’t here to defend
himself?” It’s really hard to believe everything she has
just said cause I according to me, my father was the
sweetest gentle man who wouldn’t even hurt a fly.

“Bulelwa you said you want the truth and I am telling you
the truth, believe what you want to believe. Your father
was the epitome of evil.” She says.

“You’re a murderer Mama! You took my father away

from me! You cheat on your husband and then you kill
him for it? You will rot in hell!”

“Do you know how many times your father cheated on

me and got other people pregnant? You have siblings
that you don’t even know. Your cousin Aviwe, why do
you think you look so much like her? She’s your sister.
Your father slept with my sister while I was pregnant
with you. I do not regret killing your father Bulelwa, I had
to put my pain to rest.”
Aviwe is my sister? Does she know she’s my sister? This is
beyond me. I don’t even know what to say or how to
feel. In case you forgot, Aviwe is the cousin in Australia.

“So how does all this relate to Quinn being haunted by

someone who is not happy about my relationship with
Jason?” I’m still confused.

“I told you your father was evil and he’s still evil even in
his death. He’s using an innocent soul to break your
relationship with Jason because the man I cheated with –
Babalwa’s father is Jason’s father.”

“No..” I say shaking my head and I start crying

hysterically putting my hand over my mouth. This can’t
be happening, it can’t be true. Now I feel like God hates
me.

“This is what I’ve been trying to protect you from baby,

Jason is your sister’s brother, you can’t marry him. He’s
forbidden.”
“Don’t you dare call me your baby! You’re good as dead
to me!” I say before storming out of her bedroom, I get
in my room and I lock the door.

I throw myself on the bed and I continue crying. My

happiness has just been ripped away from my grasp. My
own mother has ruined my life. I can’t marry my sister’s
brother, gosh even the sound of that is just wrong! And
the thought of my mom killing my father, she could’ve
ran away when she heard him planning go kill her but
no… she thought it was best to kill him. The word kill
shouldn’t even be in our vocabulary!

I actually hate everyone who is involved in this. I hate my

mom – she’s a murderer. I hate my dad cause had he
treated my mom right, none of this would have
happened. I hate Jason’s father, that dog cheated on
such a lovely woman. And Aviwe’s mom, I hate her too.
How can she sleep with her sister’s husband? They
always say this generation is rotten but clearly the
previous generation takes the trophy.
The pain I’m feeling, it’s like someone cut me with a
razorblade all over my body and poured acid on the cuts.
Where do I even go from this? I have to let go of all my
love for Jason and just accept the fact that I’ll be single
for the rest of my life cause I know I will never love
another man other than him, I don’t even want to love
another man. I’d rather die alone. I have to let go of all
the future plans I had that involved him. I won’t get to
bare him three beautiful children like I had secretly
planned to. The life I imagined living with him in the
future with our kids – I have to erase that. Our wedding
day that I had in my mind, I also have to erase that. I
have to let go of a lot of things. For once I’m grateful that
I’m not pregnant, imagine bringing a baby into this whole
mess? Imagine the baby having parents that share a
sibling?

I hear a light knock on my door followed by Quinn’s tiny

voice.
“Mommy are you sleeping?” she says.
I wipe my tears and I get up to open for her. I let her in
and I lock again.

“Mommy are you crying?” she says. She looks freaked

out by my behavior.
“No I’m not crying, can you give me a hug please.” I say
already crouching down and she gives me the warmest
hug.

Not only is this going to be hard for me but it’s going to

be hard for her as well. She’s gotten used to having Jason
in her life, she was even enjoying calling him daddy but
now all of that will be taken away from her. It’s back to
just me and her.

I finally let go of her.

“Are you hungry?” I ask.

She nods.
“Go and tell Bebe to get ready if she wants to go with us
to get something to eat.”
“But mommy we can’t go out cause it’s school night.”
“I know but you not going to school tomorrow so we can
stay up ‘til late.”
“Oh!” she says before running out.

We drive to the mall listening to my favourite gospel

song in the car, Tasha Cobbs – For Your Glory. I always
find gospel music comforting. We go to one of the
restaurants. I order food for just the 3 of us.

“Dude aren’t you getting mom anything?” Babalwa asks.

I shake my head.

As we’re driving back home Jason calls me but I don’t

pick up. I know if I hear his voice I’ll just break down.

“Are you guys fighting again?” Babalwa asks.

“No.” I say simply.
“B I know.” She says.
“Hmm?”
“I heard everything you were talking about with mom.”
She says.

Oh no. She shouldn’t have heard that conversation. But

why does she seem cool about it?

“Dude I’m joking. You should have see your face.” She
laughs. “So what were you guys talking about cause
clearly you’re upset with her.”

“It’s not funny and it’s none of your business.” It’s her
business I know but she can’t find out, at least not now.
You guys think I hate mom? Wait till Babalwa finds out
the truth, I actually dread that.
*
*
*
*
You guys can stop judging B now 🙇🏻
I'm suffering from writers block today, I'll see you maybe
tomorrow 💕
Chapter Seventeen

I can hear Quinn’s voice faintly in my sleep like I’m

dreaming. I listen carefully and I realise I’m not dreaming,
she really is talking. Question is, with who? I open my
eyes. Oh she’s on the phone – my phone.
“No daddy I didn’t go to school today.” She says.

I shift causing her to look at me. I’m only hearing her side
of the conversation.

“Mommy is awake now should I give her the phone?” she

says.
“Okay I love you too daddy.” She says. My heart breaks.
She hands the phone to me. I sit up and I place it on my
ear.

“Hey.” I say simply.

“Oh she’s alive! Baby you love torturing me hey? Why
haven’t you been answering my calls?” he says with the
energy he always has in the morning.

I move the phone from my ear and I ask Quinn to step

out of the room for a few minutes. She runs out and I
place the phone back on my ear.

“You have to tell your uncles to cancel coming here

tomorrow.” I say.
He laughs and I want to cry.
“Getting cold feet?” he says.
“I’m not joking, there won’t be any wedding.” I say.
“Uh your pregnancy hormones are messing with you
already?”
He still thinks it’s a joke.
“I’m crying and you’re laughing?” I say and I drop the call.
I toss the phone aside and I wrap my arms around my
knees resting my forehead on them. The phone rings but
I ignore it and I just cry more.
I decide to get up, I lock the door and I get in bed again.
I’ll just sleep the whole day, it’s better when I’m sleeping
cause I don’t feel anything. If I didn’t have a child that I
need to take care of, I’d probably sleep for the rest of my
life.
---
I’m woken from my deep sleep by a loud bang on my
door. What fuck is wrong with whoever’s banging?

“Bulelwa are you dead in there?” that’s my aunt’s voice.

When did she get here cause I was supposed to fetch
her?

I get my phone to check the time. Geez 3.15 pm? So I’ve

been sleeping for that long? I also see tons of missed
calls and texts from Jason. The last text says “please
come out I’m outside.” and that was sent two hours ago.
I’m sure he gave up and left.

My eyes are heavy! I get up and I open the door.

“Look at you, you look a mess! Where’s your “engaged”
glow? Do you always sleep till this late? What kind of
wife will you be?” that’s my aunt. She’s also the no-filter
type. I always thought Babalwa takes after her but clearly
I was wrong since they not related in any way.

“The not going to be a wife kind of wife.” I say.

“Nonsense! Take a shower so we can go and buy the
things we’ll need for tomorrow before the shops close.”
She says and she walks away. She won’t even allow me
to explain what is going on? Sigh.

I take a shower and I get dressed in this Pretty Little

Thing beige and white two piece – it’s sweatpants and a
matching T-shirt. My phone rings as I’m putting on my
sneakers. It’s still Jason. Sigh.

“Hello?”
“Bulelwa what is going on?” he asks.
“What?” I also ask.
“Don’t ask me what! I’ve been sitting in this car for three
hours waiting for you!” He sounds annoyed. Is he still
here?

“Are you still here?”

“What do you think?”
“I’m coming, give me two seconds.” I say and I drop the
call.

I tie up my weave before walking out. I hear my aunt’s

voice coming from the kitchen, she’s having a
conversation with that woman so I’ll exit the house
through the front door to avoid being questioned where
am I going.

Oh my aunt came with her daughter Sbahle. She’s older

than me, she’s 26 I think. They sitting in the living room
with Quinn.

I greet her and I tell them I’m going to the shop down the
road. She looks at me skeptically but she nods.
“Mommy can I come with you?” that’s Quinn.
“No stay here, I’m coming back just now.” I say and I
walk out.

I rush to Jason’s car before anyone sees me. I get in the

passenger seat and I greet him, he just looks at me. He’s
pissed.

“I’m sorry.” I say.

“Is that all you have to say?”
“Don’t get mad at me, I told you there won’t be any
wedding but you decided to turn it into a joke.”
“Do you care to explain what the fuck is going on cause I
honestly don’t understand why you acting this way.”

I take a deep breath before explaining everything to him.

No not everything, I left out the part where my mom kills
my father. His quiet and I can see his jaw is tense, he’s
not even looking at me. I guess this is officially the end of
us.
“Fuck Joe!” he says banging the starring wheel with his
fist. Joe is his father.
“I need to make a call.” He says taking his phone and he
steps out of the car. So I’m not supposed to hear the
conversation? Who is he calling?

20 minutes later, he’s still on the phone. I’ve even

opened the packet of biltong I found in this car and it’s
almost empty. He should’ve bought me food cause I’m
hungry.

Another 15 minutes passes before he gets back in the

car. I want to ask who was he talking to but I don’t. I just
wait for him to say something.

“My uncles are still coming here tomorrow.” He says.

Is this man crazy? How can they come here cause I know
my family would never agree on this union. Why should
they waste their time and travel from Jo’burg to here for
nothing?
“Why cause clearly there won’t be any weddi-“ he cuts
me off.
“Would you stop with that bullshit!” he shouts.

Let me just keep my mouth shut cause I’m pissing him off
more.

“My uncles will come here tomorrow and they’ll have a

meeting with your uncles about this. Don’t stress about it
too much cause at the end of the day, you and I aren’t
related in any way.” He says. He’s more calm now.
“But-“ he cuts me off again.
“No buts Bulelwa. I will fix this and we will get married.”
He says as if he’s sure about it.
I just sigh cause I know how my family is.

“Don’t stress, it’s not good for him. How is he?” he says
touching my stomach and he brushes it.
Maybe this is the perfect time to tell him the truth. But
no let’s rather wait and see what happens tomorrow
then I’ll tell him. I’m tired of living this lie.

“He’s fine.” I say pushing his hand away. “I have to get

inside before they start questioning where I went.”

“Come here.” He opens his arms, I lean over and he

embraces me in a long tight hug. I wish he wouldn’t let
go. “Everything will be okay.” He says and kisses my
head.
“I love you.” He says.
“I love you too.” Why does it suddenly feels weird to say
that?

I leave him and I go back in the house. He has given me a

little hope that maybe we will get our happy ending.

“I finally saw him!” she says as I enter the house.

“You saw who Sbahle?” I ask.
“Your man, I saw him. Gosh he looks even hotter in
person, you know I literally drool over his pictures when
you post him on Instagram and seeing him in person
heated up my body.” She says fanning herself with her
hand.
“Sbahle he’s my fiancé.” What makes her think it’s okay
to talk like that about my man?

“I know, I’m sorry but he’s such a hunk. How do you deal
with that?” she says.
I just shrug.

“Sbahle check if this list has everything you will need

tomorrow.” That’s her mom entering the living room.
Sbahle will be doing the cooking, she’s a chef by
profession.
She runs her eyes over the list for a few minutes.

“Yeap everything is here.” She says.

“We can go then.” I say and I leave them to get my wallet
and car keys. I tell Quinn to put on her shoes and we get
in the car. As I reverse out of the yard we bump into
Babalwa coming back from school. She wearing her
hockey uniform with her hockey bag on one shoulder
and her school bag on the other shoulder.

“Wherever you guys are going please get me KFC dunked

wings on your way back.” She says and she carries on
walking in. She didn’t even greet us and for that I’m not
going to buy those wings. She must learn respect.

We drive to Midlands-Liberty mall and we go to

Woolworths, hopefully we’ll get everything we need
there, I don’t have energy for shop hopping.

---

It’s Saturday morning, the day that will decide my fate

and I don’t know how I feel but I have faith that
everything will work on my favour cause I prayed about
this last night, I prayed really hard and I hope God will
come through for me. By the way I haven’t spoken to
mom ever since our last conversation. I just look at her
when she says something to me.

Jason calls me, we have a short chat – he’s just assuring

me that everything will be okay. After hanging up, I get
up to clean the house before going for a shower. I come
back in my bedroom and I find Babalwa still sleeping,
Quinn has woken up and she’s watching TV in the living
room. I was sleeping with both of them cause Sbahle and
her mom are using Babalwa’s room, our parents’ house
only has 3 bedrooms.

I put on a maxi dress and I let my weave down before

putting a headwrap over it. Babalwa wakes up and I ask
her to zip up my dress but she just looks at me. She’s still
mad about the wings? Honestly I don’t have time to
entertain her drama.

---
The time is 12.30 and my 3 uncles have arrived. Uncle
Muzi, the married educated one. He’s the youngest but
also respected by everyone, when he speaks no one
argues with him. I think he’s the smartest out of all my
father’s siblings. And then uncle Sipho the drunkard – we
all have one of those. And then there’s uncle Jeffrey, the
traditional one.

I asked to speak to uncle Muzi in private and I explained

everything to him, again leaving out the part where my
mother kills his brother. I don’t know why I’m even
protecting that woman mxm. Uncle Muzi was shocked
but he understood and assured me that he will do the
best he can for this marriage to be approved.

The time is 1.15 pm when I hear cars pulling up outside. I

walk to the window and I peek. I see two of Jason’s car.
Now I’m feeling a bit sad, I mean these people are
supposed to be here for my lobola negotiations but no,
my mother decided to be a whore. It’s 3 of Jason’s uncles
plus him.

I go back to the kitchen as my aunt goes to welcome

them. I find Sbahle opening all the cupboards like she’s
looking for something.
“Looking for something?” I ask.
“I can’t find cream cheese, I remember putting it in the
trolley yesterday I’m not crazy.” She says still searching.
She won’t find it cause I secretly removed it from the
trolley and put it back on the shelves.

“You sure it’s not there?” I ask.

“I’ve searched everywhere! And it’s essential for the dish
I’m making.” She says looking defeated.
“Can’t you go and buy it?”
“I can cause I really need it.”
“Here,” I give her my car keys and my card. “Take
Babalwa with you, the pin is Quinn’s birthday.”

“And where is she taking Babalwa to?” that’s Babalwa

walking in the kitchen.

“I forgot something yesterday, let’s go.”- Sbahle.

“Can’t you go alone?”- Babalwa.
“Babalwa please, you can buy your wings.” I say.
“Wings and champagne?”
“Yes just go!” I say.
“Come on wena I’m going to drive a G-wagon!”- Sbahle.
Jesus I hope she doesn’t damage my car otherwise I’ll
damage her.

My plan worked, I purposely removed the cream cheese

from the trolley cause I wanted her to go with Babalwa
to buy it. I don’t need Babalwa in the house whilst those
men are having the meeting. I know she will eavesdrop
and hear everything that is being discussed and things
will just go left.

They’re already discussing the matter in the living room

but I can’t really hear what is being said.

My aunt walks in the kitchen and she tells me to make

tea for the men in the living room. Like how? How am I
supposed to do that? I’m supposed to guess how
everyone like their tea? Nonetheless I plug the kettle and
I take out 7 mugs from the cupboard placing them on the
counter. I take the rooibos teabags and I put one in each
mug. My aunt looks at me shaking her head before taking
out one of mom’s tea-sets from the cupboard. She places
six saucers on a tray and the small mugs on each saucer.
She takes another tray where she places the sugar, milk,
teabags and the teapot. She then takes out two big
plates.

“Put biscuits on this one and scones on the other one.”

She instructs and I do exactly that.

After putting the boiling water in the teapot, she

instructs me to take the tray with the mugs to the living
room. I take the tray and I look at her biting my bottom
lip, I’m scared to go in there. She shakes her head again
before taking the tray from me and she takes it there
herself. She comes back to get the other tray and lastly
plates. She really is a life saver.

She walks back in the kitchen.

“Don’t just stand there, you saw I only put six cups there.
Make tea for your man.” She says sitting on one of the
high chairs.
“He prefers coffee.” I say.
“Then make coffee for him.” She says.
That’s easy, I know how Jase loves his coffee. I make the
coffee and I place it on a saucer.
“I’m done.” I say.
“You want me to tell you again? Go and serve him.”

Wait what? I think I’m going to shit myself.

“What should I say?” I ask nervously.
“First greet everyone and then tell him excuse me Baba
here’s your tea.”

Lol Baba? Yho.

I take a deep breath before exiting the kitchen with the

tray in my hand. I stop by the passage, I can see uncle
Muzi from where I’m standing. He nods when he sees
me, what is that supposed to mean?

I sigh before walking in. All eyes turn to me and I just

want this ground to swallow me right now! Luckily Jason
is sitting closer to the doorway. I greet and I turn to him.

“Baba here’s your tea.” I say and I immediately regret

saying that. Like what the fuck? Remind me never to take
advise from my aunt again. I see Jason wants to laugh as
he says thank you. I turn around to walk out but I’m
being stopped.

“Please sit.”- Uncle Muzi.

I bite my bottom lip as I walk to the empty space and I

sit. Everyone is just looking at me like geez people!

“Actually go and call your mother too.” He says.

I get up and I find mom in her room crying. I don’t even
care, I just tell her she is needed in the living room before
walking back with her following me. She gets a chair
cause all the seats are occupied.

They carry on with their discussion. They just going back

and forth. Uncle Muzi is really fight for us and one of
Jason’s uncles disagrees with him. He’s like the
spokesman cause he’s been doing most of the talking.
Uncle Sipho is also against our union and he has been
calling mom names and I don’t even feel sorry for her.
Every time something negative is being said, uncle Muzi
just gives me a nod like he’s telling me relax I got this. If I
say there is hope, I’d be lying. Nothing is promising.

“I still can’t find a valid reason why this wedding

shouldn’t proceed.”- Uncle Muzi.
“Why are you fighting for this so much? Are you after our
son’s money?”- One of Jason’s uncles, not the
spokesman.
“Sir this is not about money, I don’t want the kids to be
punished for their parents’ mistakes.”- Uncle Muzi.
“We understand that but this will just upset the
ancestors, these kids share a sibling which practically
makes them siblings as well.”- uncle spokesman.
“I agree, the ancestors won’t be happy about this.”-
uncle Jeffrey.

We are not siblings and we are not related, why would

the ancestors be upset? These people are just
frustrating!

“But Baba Bulelwa is already carrying my child and there

is nothing we can do about that.” Jason speaks up for the
first time.

“Yho ayike this is beyond me! Amanyala wodwa!”- uncle

Sipho clapping once.

All eyes have turned to me again. Why did I lie? Now my

lie is catching up with me. How will I fix this? I’m avoiding
eye-contact with everyone, especially mom. Now
everyone knows we have sex.
“Well in that case, this meeting is pointless. If she’s
already carrying our blood there’s nothing we can do to
stop their union.”- uncle spokesman.

No wait, my lie just saved us.

“Manje sizoyithini indaba yaleli vezandlebe? (What are

we going to do about the lovechild?).”-uncle Sipho.

The fact that he just called my sister that name makes

me so mad and it also breaks my heart.

“We are going to come back here next weekend to

proceed with the lobola negotiations and we’ll have to
do two ancestral ceremonies. The first one to apologize
to the head of this house for our brother’s wrong doings
and the second one to introduce the child to our
ancestors, she is a part of us after all. Is she here? Has
she been told the truth?”- uncle spokesman.
“No it’s better if she doesn’t know.” I blurt out. All eyes
turn to me again, Jesus why did I open my mouth?

“Babe she deserves to know.”- Jason.

I don’t think Babalwa should be told the truth yet, she

has been through so much already, I don’t think she’ll
take this well plus she’s doing her matric man, she
doesn’t need this. But I’m not going to argue with Jason
in front of his fathers. If I was mom I’d be begging them
not to tell her but she’s just powerless right now.

“Bulelwa go and get her.”- uncle Muzi.

They doing this right here? Right now? Hayi these

people! I get up anyway, I hope they not back yet.
Ugh I find Babalwa in the kitchen pouring champagne in a
flute.

“Babalwa they asking for you.” I say.

“Me? Why?”
“Just come!” God I hate this!
....to be continued.

I'm sorry I've been quiet the whole day, might post the
rest today.
.....continuation.

We walk in the living room and I hear her whispering

“what the fuck” under her breath. We sit. Uncle Muzi
starts by assuring her that they’ll always be her family no
matter what, he assures her that they’ll always be there
for her when she needs them. He then proceeds with
explaining everything to her.

She’s quiet and she’s just staring into space. I told them
they shouldn’t tell her, I know my sister but no one cares
about my opinion.

She gets up without saying anything and she walks

straight to mom. She gives her a hot slap on her face,
everyone is too shocked to say or do anything. She then
walks to me, I cover my face thinking she’s going to slap
me as well. I see Jason getting up, he also thought she’s
going to slap me.

“And you, this is all your fault!” She says pointing at my

face before running out. How is this my fault? What did I
do?

“Babalwa wait!” I try to run after her but Jason stops me.
“Leave her, I’ll go and talk to her.” He says.
Oh already started playing big brother? Mxm.

I go to the kitchen.
“They’re done in the living room, you can dish up the
food please.” I tell Sbahle before drinking Babalwa’s
champagne. I down it like it’s water before filling it up
again and I down it all at once.

“You okay?” Sbahle asks looking at me as I’m feeling up

the 3rd one.
I nod and I down the 3rd one also. If only there was
something stronger cause I’m going to finish this whole
bottle.

“Need help with the dishing up?” I ask.

“Yes please.”

I wonder how much she’ll charge me for this. I know

she’s family but I’m still paying cause she’s just doing her
job.

I help her and we serve everyone in the living room

including my aunt and my mom. Jason is not there
though. I don’t know where the hell are they with
Babalwa.

Sbahle and I chill in the kitchen, she’s eating and I’m

drinking this horrible champagne. Babalwa suddenly
walks in but she passes us and she goes to her bedroom.
I follow her. She starts taking out all her stuff in her
closet.
“What are doing?”
“I’m moving out Bulelwa I don’t belong here, this is your
father’s house.” She says.
“Don’t talk like that, this is your home. Where are you
moving to?”
“Jason said I can come and stay with you.”

Honestly what the fuck is wrong with Jason today? Why

would he tell her that? Babalwa can’t live with us. Not
that I don’t want her to live with us but she can’t just
pack up and leave. Now she’ll have to adjust to a new
environment on top of dealing with everything that is
going on plus work on getting good grades? Clearly
something will fail. And her school is like an hour away
from where we stay.

“You can’t just pack up and leave.” I say.

“Oh I didn’t ask for your permission.” She says and she
continues with what she’s doing.
I just walk out and I bump into mom in the passage. I try
to walk past her but she grabs my arm.

“Let go of my arm woman!” I say firmly.

“When are planning on telling your man the truth? Or is
he also in this lie with you?” she says. What is she talking
about?
“Excuse me?”
“I know you’re not pregnant.” She says.

Shit I forgot I’m faking a pregnancy, why did I drink that

champagne?

“What are you talking about, I am pregnant.”

“Bulelwa I gave birth to you, I know your body like the
back of my hand.”
“I’m just a few weeks pregnant so please stop talking
nonsense.” I hank my arm and I walk away.
“Your man is in his car, please take his food to him.”
Sbahle says and I thank her.

I walk out through the kitchen door to Jason’s car. I get in

the passenger seat and I hand him the plate.

“Thank you.” He says.

“Why would you tell Babalwa she can come and stay with
us?”
“What did you expect me to do? Let her live in the
streets? She’s angry and she doesn’t want to be here.”
“So you just told her she can move in with us without
discussing it with me first?”
“There was nothing to discuss really. She’ll stay with us
until she has calmed down and can decided for herself
what she wants to do next.”

I keep quiet and I look away. This is what I don’t like

about Jason, he’s ways of dealing with things are always
right and he never apologizes. If the tables were turned
right now I’d be apologizing for not communicating with
him. He’s just a control freak.

“No this food is really good, did you cook this?” He says.
He knows I’m a horrible cook so he’s mocking me. I don’t
even have the energy to fight with him right now so my
mouth remains shut.
---
Jason’s uncles left with both Jason’s cars that they came
with. They already on a flight back to Jo’burg and we’re
driving back to Hilton in my car. Jason is driving, I’m
sitting on the passenger seat and Quinn and Babalwa are
at the back. Babalwa is really moving in with us and I
don’t know how I feel about it.

Geez the tension in this car is so thick, even Quinn is

quiet today. I know it was a very eventful emotional day
but it’s over now, can they loosen up a bit?

Ella Mai’s Boo'd Up comes on on the radio.

“I love this song.” I say turning up the volume and I start
singing along.
“God B are you singing or crying?”- Babalwa.
“Imagine this is what I have to listen to every time she’s
in the shower, it’s better if I’m in there with her cause I
make her scream differently.”- Jason.
“Okay too much info..”- Babalwa.

I just ignore them yazi and I carry on with my singing.

Quinn joins me when it gets to the chorus.

“Yes sing baby!” I cheer her on. No I think this

champagne is having some effect on me now.

Babalwa also joins in and she starts showing off with her
vocals.

We get to the house and Jason helps Babalwa with her

things.
“Bebe I didn’t know you sing so well.” He says.
“Duuuh all your father’s kids sing well.” I say. The look
Jason shoots me. Yeah I shouldn’t have said that.

“I’m sorry.” I say and I press my lips together to stop

myself from laughing, I don’t know why I find my
comment funny.

“Follow me.” Jason says and he walks up the stairs. I just

know by the way he said that, that I’m in trouble. But I
follow him nonetheless. We get to our room and he
closes the door.

“What is wrong with you?” he says. He’s not friendly

now.
I don’t say anything. He starts sniffing and he brings his
face close to me.

“Have you been drinking?” he says with his eyes all out.
I remain quiet and I start shaking.
“What the fuck Bulelwa! You want to harm my child!” he
shouts.
“I only had one glass.” I say in a shaky voice.
“Bulelwa I swear if anything happens to my baby I will…
You know what? We’re going to the doctor right now!”
he says grabbing his car keys.

Lord why have you forsaken me? I start crying.

“Your tears don’t scare me, if I were you I’d be praying

that the baby is okay cause I swear to God I will kill you.”
“Baby listen, there’s something I need to tell you.”
“Fuck that! I need to make sure my child is okay cause he
has a very shitty mother.”
“But there’s no baby!” I say and I release more tears.
He stops and he turns to me slowly.
“What did you just say?” he says.
“I…I’m not…not pregnant, I’ve been fak-....baby I’m
sorry…”
He’s coming towards me now and he has the same look
he had when he strangled me.

“Remember you promised you’d never put your hands

on me again.”
“I know baby but can you repeat what you just said?” He
says taking my arm and he twists it.
“Oooouch!” I scream in agony.
“I said repeat what you just said.” He’s still twisting and if
he continues he’s definitely going to break my arm.
“You’re hurting me. Babalwa!” I scream and I just hope it
was loud enough for Babalwa to hear me wherever she
is. I can’t let him break my arm.

The door opens and he lets go immediately. He walks out

as Babalwa walks in.

“Dude what happened?”

“Don’t ask me that! Where is he going? Please stop him!”
I say running out after him but he’s already out of the
house and I hear his car driving away on full speed.
I run back to our bedroom and lock myself up.

This time I deserve all of this cause I really messed up. I

don’t know who I am anymore, I’ve become this
dishonest heartless person and that is not me. I need to
clean up all my mess and find myself again. Starting with
MaDlamini, I’m going to tell her what caused her son’s
murder. Even if it means she hates me.

I take my phone and I try calling Jason with no success,

his phone is on voicemail. I leave him a massage, “Baby
please come home so we can talk, I’m really sorry. I love
you.” I put the phone down and I wipe the tears that
have started falling again.
---
It’s 8.30 pm and he’s still not home and his phone is still
off. I just hope he’s not finding comfort in another
woman’s bed.
I do everything I usually do in the evening and I come
back in our room for a shower before getting in bed.
What if he comes back and decides to kick me out? I’m
glad I never sold my complex.

It’s 2 am and I wake up and I’m still alone in bed. I was

having such a bad dream which left me feeling uneasy. I
pray that he’s okay wherever he is. I don’t think I’ll be
able to go back to sleep now.

It’s Sunday morning and he’s still not home. I get up and I
go to check all the bedrooms thinking maybe he came
back and slept in a different room but nothing, he’s not
here. I feel my tears threatening my eyes again but I hold
them back. If anything bad happened to him, I would
never forgive myself.

I take a shower and I go to the kitchen to make breakfast

for the kids. Babalwa comes down, she’s also taken a
shower.

“How was your first night here?” I ask.

“Are you fighting with Jay cause you don’t want me
here?”
“Babalwa I never said I don’t want you here. If staying
here makes you happy then I’m happy you’re here.”
“So what are fighting about? Was he hitting you when
you screamed my name?”
“Uhm..no. It’s nothing you should worry yourself about.”
“Bulelwa don’t protect him if he’s abusing you.”

He’s not abusing me, I pushed him this time.

---
I put Quinn in bed and I go to check on Babalwa.
I find her sitting on the bed with her laptop and books
scattered on the bed.
“You know you can use Jason’s study until we get you a
desk here.”
“I prefer studying on the bed.”
“So how are you planning on going to school tomorrow?”
“Jay said he would get me a driver but since he’s not
here I guess I’m not going to school tomorrow.”

So she’ll have her own driver? That also wasn’t discussed

with me first.

“No I’ll take you to school tomorrow but we’ll have to get
up really early so don’t stay up till late.” I say and I leave
her.

I had to wake up at 5 am. 6 am I was driving out of the

yard to drop Babalwa off at school and I left with Quinn
with MaDlamini who will get her ready. I still haven’t
heard anything from Jason.

On my way back I decide to take a short cut that Jason

taught me to avoid the traffic in the main road.

This road is empty, there’s just one car – a white polo

driving closely behind me. I carry on driving minding my
business and the polo decides to overtake me and it
suddenly stops in front of me so I have to immediately
brake. What the fuck? If it wasn’t for the seatbelt I would
have hit the windscreen. I check the rearview mirror to
see if there’s any car behind me and my mouth
immediately goes dry and my legs start shaking. It’s that
black BMW that used to stalked me. As I’m still paralyzed
by that, my door suddenly opens, a strong hand goes
over my mouth and I’m being pulled out of my car by two
men.
*
*
*
*
Guys thank you for the support, I've been a bit busy
that's why I haven't replied to some comments but I will.
💕
Chapter Eighteen

They take me to that BMW whilst I’m kicking and trying

to break free which is useless cause these men are
obviously stronger than me but at the same time I want
to remain calm cause I know this is just a bad dream.
They put a tape over my mouth and blindfolds over my
eyes before tying my hands together. Everything is
happening so fast. There’s not even one car driving past?
Yikes.

I’m in the backseat with two men each sitting on either

side of me and the car is driving really fast. I can’t see
anything and all I’m thinking is where are they taking me
and what are they going to do to me? The first person
that comes to my mind is my child. Will I ever seen her
again? What will happen to her if they’re going to kill
me? And then Jason, I can’t die while he’s mad at me. I’m
crying even with these blindfolds on. Where is God when
things like these happen? Or maybe he’s the one
punishing me for being the person I’ve been lately.

After like an hour drive (that would’ve been probably

2hours if the car was driving on a normal speed) the car
finally stops and doors open. I’m being pulled out of the
car again and dragged to wherever they’re taking me, I
think we’re entering a house.
“Is that my wife? You got her?” A voice that’s sound
familiar shouts coming closer and I can here footsteps
coming towards where we are.

“We finally got her boss.” One of the guys standing next
to me replies.
“And her car?”- the familiar voice.
“I parked it there on the side of the road and locked it.
Here are the keys.”- another guy replies.
“Well done boys!” he sounds really happy. “Welcome
home baby. Put her there.”- the familiar voice. Man I
know this voice but I can’t put a face to it. And what does
he mean welcome home?

I’m being placed on a chair and they tie my feet together,

my hands are still tied behind me.

“You can remove the tape now but be careful, don’t hurt
her.”- the familiar voice.
They remove the tap and I breathe out. I feel someone
coming closer to me, their cologne is too strong for my
liking.

“Boys give us some privacy.” He says before removing

the blindfolds slowly. I look up at this man standing over
me and I don’t believe my eyes.

“No no no…” I start crying.

“Why are you crying? I thought you were going to be
happy to see me.” He says placing his hand on my cheek.
“Don’t you dare fucking touch me!”
“Is that a way of talking to your husband?”

I can’t believe this is actually happening right now. God

why?

“Benjamin you are not my husband, you’re a fucking

psycho!”
I feel a hot slap across my face making me cry more. My
cheek feels like I’ve been stung by a million bees. This is
actually the first time I’m being slapped in my life.

“I’m trying to be nice to you but you making it really hard

for me. You and your bitch ass mother are the same. I
asked her to do one simple job for me – that is to get you
to marry me but she failed now I’m forced to do this the
hard way.”

Mom was working with him? No she really is a bitch ass

mother, I’m happy Babalwa slapped her.

“You are going to pay for this! My fiancé will find me and
you will wish you were never born.”

He laughs.

“Baby erase that life cause this is your new life, I’m your
fiancé now, this is your new home where we’ll raise our
beautiful children. The sooner you accept that, the
sooner you’ll be happy.”

“Why are you doing this?” I ask crying.

“I love you Bulelwa, I want to make you happy.”

I knew this man was a psycho but I never thought he

would actually go to this extant. Okay even if Jason went
out to look for me (which I highly doubt cause he hates
me now) but let’s just say he goes out to look for me,
where will he start? I, myself don’t even know where am
I. Where will the police start? They can’t even track down
my car since they left it there. Maybe Benjamin is right,
maybe I should just accept that this is my new life.

“My child Benjamin, you can’t just take me away from

her. She’s still a baby she needs me.” I can just imagine
what she’s going through right now since I never came
back to take her to school.
“She’ll be fine, we’re going to start our own family now. I
want four kids, how many do you want?” he says and I
feel like cringing in disgust.
“How long are you going to keep me tied to this chair?”
“That’s up to you. Are you hungry?”

I ignore his question, I don’t want his food. I just look

around the house, this is actually a nice house. Not too
fancy but it’s nice. And clean.

“I need the bathroom.” Maybe there’s a window there I

can escape through.

He looks at me for a moment before untying my feet but

he leaves my hands tied.

“Come on.” He says pulling me up from the chair and he

leads me to the bathroom. It’s a normal bathroom with a
bathtub, a shower, a basin and a toilet. He takes me to
the toilet and he hooks his fingers on the waistline of my
leggings. I’m wearing grey Adidas leggings with white
strips, white Adidas sneakers and a white Adidas T-shirt.

“What are you doing?” I panic.

“I’m helping you, you said you need the bathroom.”
“No no I’m fine, don’t pull my pants down I was joking.”
“Come on baby I’m your husband, don’t be scared.”
“You are not my husband you asshole!” I say and I kick
him hard on his nuts.
“Ahhhh…” he screams holding his manhood.

I run to the door, luckily he had left it opened. I use my

foot to open it wider cause my hands are still tied behind
me. I run to the kitchen and I start opening the drawers
searching for a knife, yes with my hands still behind me
and I’m really struggling cause I have to look over my
shoulder to check the drawers.

I see him coming and I just start crying all over again.
“Stay away from me wena nja!” I scream.
“I don’t know why you wasting your energy.” He says
calmly and he’s coming towards me.

Without any warning I get a punch on my jaw making me

see stars in the air and I lose my balance a bit. I
immediately taste blood in my mouth, I don’t even want
to mention the pain.
“Try pulling a stunt again and I will break your limbs. And
please stop this crying, it’s annoying.” He says pulling my
hair. Why doesn’t he just kill me once?

He pulls me by my hair to the lounge, he makes me sit on

the couch this time and he starts tying my feet again.
“You so unappreciative, do you know how hard I worked
to build this house for you?” he says.

This man is really crazy, like he’s not even faking it. He
needs help and I just had to be his victim. To think this is
the same man who stands in front of a whole
congregation and preaches the gospel fooling everyone.
This makes me wonder how many people we think are
“holy” but are actually like him.
He sits next to me and he rests his hand on my thigh. I
close my eyes and I release a sigh.

“You remember I told you I wasn’t going to stop fighting

for you to be my wife? And now that you’re here with
me, I’ve never been this happy in my life.” He says.

I can’t hear anything he’s saying right now cause of my

throbbing jaw. I can’t even touch to feel if I’m swollen or
not but I’m sure I am.

---
Jason’s POV
I’m going to spend my second night at a hotel. Never in
my life have I thought the woman I love would do
something like this to me. I have so many questions but
my biggest question is why? I want to know what made
her think let me lie to my fiancé and fake a pregnancy.
She knows I really want kids and for her to stoop this low
and make me a fool about it? Honestly I expected way
better from her. Now she has made me hate myself again
by hurting her. Does she realize how much I suffer every
time I hurt her? Hurting Bulelwa hurts me more than it
actually hurts her. I was working on myself and how to
control my rage but now she has made me take a step
back. I love that woman with my whole life but right now
I can’t be under the same room with her.

The time is 7.30 pm as I’m sitting at the hotel bar

listening to her voicemail messages crying and begging
me to come home. Her cries are like a stab in my heart
and I just want to go back home and hug her and tell her
it’s okay but I can’t, not when I’m this crossed with her.

As I’m getting up to leave I receive a call from Bebe. I

know it’s Bulelwa cause I’m not answering her calls, she
thinks she’s smart? I reject the call and I slip my phone in
my pocket.

I pay for the cognac I was having and I head to my room.

As I insert the keycard I hear my phone alerting a text
message. I fish the phone out of my pocket as I close the
door behind me. There’s a text message from Bebe.

“Dude you’re rejecting my calls? Really? Did you and

your fiancée forget that I stay with you now? FYI, I’m still
at school stranded. Yes it’s 8 pm and I’m still at school.
Do something about it.”

What the fuck is going on? You see Bulelwa is really

testing my patient now.
I call Bebe.

“Jay!” she says.

“Where are you? Where is your sister?”
“I told you I’m still at school, B said she was going to
fetch me but clearly she did not and she’s not even
answering my calls.”
“Are you inside the school or outside? Is it safe where
you are?” I’m already walking out of my hotel room.

“I’m with the school securities so yes I’m safe.”

“Okay I’m on my way, I’m really sorry.” I drop the call as I
walk out of the lift. I hope Bulelwa did not go to get
drunk and forgot to pick the kids again cause I’ve noticed
she has developed this bad habit of resorting to alcohol
every time she’s going through something. And what
about Q? Was she fetched from school? I swear if
something happened to her I would never forgive her
mother.

I dial Bulelwa’s number as I’m driving, it goes straight to

voicemail. Damn it Bulelwa.
I call the helper.

“Yebo Bhuti.” She says.

“Mah is Q there?”
“Yes she is, I just put her in bed.”
“And her mother?”
“She’s not here. She went to drop her sister at school in
the morning and never returned ever since.”
“Okay thank you.” I drop the call and I drive faster. Now
I’m starting to worry cause this is not like Bulelwa, she
always puts her child first. Even if she was drunk
wherever she is, she would have made sure the child is
okay.

I get to Bebe’s school and she comes out of the security

house by the gate.
“I’m so sorry I had no idea your sister did not pick you up.
Are you okay?” I say as she gets in on the passenger seat.
“I’m fine, where is she?”
“I also would love to know cause she’s not at the house,
apparently she left with you in the morning and never
returned.”
“What? Something could’ve happened to her, did you try
calling her?” she looks worried as I am.
“I tried but it goes to voicemail.”
“Oh B! Try calling Sli, maybe she’s with her.”

Okay this child is smarter than I am, why didn’t I think of

her friend?
“Here, text Loyiso and ask for Sli's number then call Sli.” I
say handing her my phone.
“This is so not like Bulelwa.” She says as she types on my
phone.

My mind is all over the place right now but I’m trying not
to think the worst. Why did I leave? I shouldn’t have left,
this all my fault!

Sli also doesn’t know her friend’s whereabouts. That was

my last hope.

“What are we going to do now?”- Bebe.

“I’ll try tracking down her car.”

What if she had an accident? Oh God I know I don’t

usually pray but please don’t let anything bad happen to
my love, protect her wherever she is. They say you know
everyone’s hearts so you know how much she means to
me, you know I wouldn’t live without her. If you spare
her this one time I promise I will go to church every
Sunday and I will stop everything that I do that is against
your will – I’m praying inside.

As I’m driving on this empty road, I notice a white

Mercedes that looks like Bulelwa's car parked on the side
of the road. I slow down the speed, I know it’s dark but
that’s definitely my fiancée’s car. What is she doing
here? I pull up and I park right in front of her car.

“That looks like Bulelwa’s car.”- Bebe.

“It is.” I say as I quickly step of my car and I rush to
Bulelwa’s car.
“Baby!” I knock on the window but it seems like there’s
no one inside. I turn on my phone flashlight and I look
inside. No Bulelwa.
....to be continued.
*
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I'm sorry for posting this late but I have been busy, I'll
only be free on Thursday 😩 You'll also notice a
thousand errors as I rushed through this, apologies for
that.
….short continuation.
Jason’s POV

My mind literally stops from functioning for a moment.

Why did I leave her? We all make mistakes and she made
a mistake by lying, I shouldn’t have left. I feel like a failed
as a man, I failed Bulelwa as her fiancé. I failed her as a
man who is meant to be protecting her at all times.

I have to find my baby, I won’t rest until I find her.

I get back in the car.

“What happened?” Bebe asks.

“She’s not in her car.”
“Oh my Lord! What have you done? This is all your fault!
Why did you fight with her on Saturday? Did you hit
her?”
“I did not hit her.”
“Take me home and you will go and look for her. If you
don’t find her, don’t bother coming back until you find
her.” she commands.

She right. I won’t come back until I find her. Even though
I don’t even know where to start. Bulelwa only has one
friend and I’ve never heard her speaking of close family
members like cousins and stuff except the cousin in
Australia. Fuck why am I being stupid? She can’t be at a
friend’s house when her car is parked on that road.

I drop Bebe off at home and I drive back to where

Bulelwa’s car is parked and I call my guys to all gather
there.
---
Bulelwa’s POV
The time on the TV is now 10.45 pm and I’m starting to
lose hope that someone will come and rescue me and I
won’t have to spend the night in this house with this
twisted man. Every time I think about my baby tears just
fill my eyes. She’s going to ask where am I and what are
they going to tell her?

We’re still on the couch and there’s a plate of food on

the coffee table. He’s been trying to feed me but I
wouldn’t open my mouth and he finally gave up.

“It’s late baby we should go to bed.” He says.

“I’m still watching here.” I don’t want to go to bed with
him.
“Please kiss me.”

What? Oh hell no! That thought of that makes me want

to crawl out of my skin. Eww!

I look away without saying anything.

“Come on, when will we start making those beautiful
babies?”
“Wake up Benjamin! Can’t you see you’re dreaming? I
am not your wife and you are not my husband – never
will be for that matter. Capturing me here doesn’t make
us husband and wife! I would rather die than kiss you or
sleep with you so please get that idea out of your head!”
I don’t know where I get the bravery to say such but I
can’t deal with this anymore.

My words result to me getting another hot slap on the

same cheek he slapped me on earlier.

“You can slap me, punch me, kick me even kill me but the
fact remains, I will never be your wife! Nothing you do
will change the way I feel about you idiot!”

He starts choking me and I start crying.

“Repent what you just said.” He says still choking me and

I can feel the air leaving my body. I want him to kill me so
that all of this will be over but my mind keeps going back
and forth between Quinn and Jason, I can’t leave them.

“Okay okay I’m sorry. I’m your wife.” I say with the last
bit of air I have in my body. Playing along to his madness
is the only thing that can save me right now.

He let’s go and he looks at me with a smile.

“Even though you such a cry baby you still beautiful. Now
can I kindly have that kiss I asked for.” He says bringing
his face closer.
“No no.. Uhm my jaw Benjam- baby… let’s wait for it to
heal first before getting into that.”
“I’m sorry for hurting you.” He says touching my jawline.
I just nod. Who would have thought I’d be grateful for
being punched on the jaw? He might as well punch me
on the other jaw if it will keep his dirty mouth away from
me.

“Let’s go to bed.” He says.

“Can you at least untie me, my arms are tired.”
“I want to untie you baby but I don’t want to get kicked
on the balls again. I’ll carry you to bed.” He says getting
up and he scoops me up in his arms.
He puts me on the bed, I’m guessing this is his room.

“I’ll give you my T-shirt to sleep in until I buy you

clothes.” He says.
“No this is fine, I’ll sleep in this.”

Puts me in bed with both my feet and hands still tied. He

gets behind me and he puts his arm around me. Sigh. I’m
just going to lie here and think of a way to escape when
he has fallen asleep, I’m smarter than this.
---
I feel something poking my ass and then the arm around.
I try to move but I can’t. I open my eyes and I remember
where I am. So I fell asleep? How? When? Sigh. Gosh
when I’m woken by Jason’s erection poking my ass it
usually turns me the fuck on but right now I feel like
puking and I’m also scared.
He’s still fast asleep so I try to break free from his arm
which is a mission with having my feet and hands tied
but I manage to shift away from him. I’m now sitting on
the edge of the bed with my feet on the ground. They’re
tied so how am I going to run away? I wiggle my wrists
hoping it will loosen the string tying them and I keep
looking back at him to check if he’s still sleeping. This is
useless. I have another idea, I slowly get on my knees on
the floor, now my hands can reach my ankles from
behind. I turn the string around and I find the knot. I
untie it which is also a bit of a mission but I finally get my
legs freed. I get up slowly and quietly and I tiptoe to his
side to get his phone praying that he doesn’t get up and I
walk out of the bedroom. Jason’s number is the only
number I know by heart so I’m just going to text him my
name, when he realizes I’m missing he’ll be able to put
the dots together and track down this number.

Oh great password! Why does God hate me so much?

There’s no away I can guess this man’s password. The
tears want to fall but I look up pushing them back. The
police! You can dial an emergency number when the
phone is locked.

“The password is your name.” his voice says behind me

as I’m struggling to type behind my back. I freeze.
“I’ve told you the password, now carry on with what you
were doing.” He says coming closer.

His arm goes around my neck and starts choking me from

behind.
“Please stop you’re hurting me.” I beg crying.
“What are you doing with my phone”
“I’m sorry.”
“Why do you keep doing this? You don’t want to stay
here with me?”

Obviously I don’t idiot that’s why I’m doing this.

“I do…I’m sorry.”
He let’s go and he looks at me.
“I hate seeing you tied up like a prisoner but I can’t free
you when you keep trying to escape.”
“I won’t do it again I promise.”
“You sure?”
“I promise baby.” Anything to get him to untie me.
“And you promise we will go and take a shower.”

In my head I’m like fuck off but I nod. As long as he

doesn’t touch me.

---
I’ve been in this house with this man for 2 weeks now.
No one has came to rescue me and I’ve accepted that
this is indeed my new life. I still sleep with hands and feet
tied and when he leaves the house he ties me up again
and leaves me with two men watching me. The first time
he went out he came back with a couple of clothes and
underwear that I should wear but I’ve been wearing the
same jeans and I only change t-shirts.
He knows my body now, he watches me when I’m taking
a shower and sometimes he gets in with me but I’ve
managed to keep his hands off me using my jaw as an
excuse. I haven’t stopped trying to escape though, I told
these men that he leaves me with that if they let me go
my fiancé would pay them a million each but these
motherfuckers are loyal to him. They told him about it
and that lead to me getting a beating, he beat me up so
brutally I have a broken arm right now. But I wasn’t going
to let those fools get away with it so when Benjamin
went to church last Sunday and left me with them. When
I heard the car driving in and I pulled down my leggings a
bit and started wailing.

He got in and asked what happened, I told him these

men tried to rape me, yes I lied. He was so furious he got
in more men that I didn’t even know are guarding
outside. They beat them up to a point where I actually
wanted to stop them but I didn’t. So there are different
men that watch me when he leaves the house.

It’s the second Sunday today and he went to church. As

usual I’m sitting on the couch with my hands and feet
tied and I have two men just looking at me. I’ve been
watching the news hoping that it will come out that they
are looking for me but nothing. Maybe they’ve also
accepted that I’m gone.

He comes back and as soon as he walks in he tells these

idiots to go outside. He comes to sit next to me on the
couch.
“Hey baby.” He says trying to kiss me but I move my face
away.
“My jaw.” I say.
“Bitch stop playing with me, I know your jaw is fine now.”
He says with his aggressive tone and I know it’s about to
get ugly.
“I’m not playing with you baby it still hurts.”
“Oh I see you want me to do this the hard way, I’ve bared
with you for far too long now.” He says getting up and he
starts unbuckling his belt.

“God please don’t let this happen to me, I’m sorry for
whatever I’ve done…” I cry praying out loudly.
He pulls down his pants and he goes down to untie my
feet. As soon as they’re freed I push him with my foot on
his stomach and he stumbles back a bit. He comes back
to me and I’m met with a slap.

“Do that again and you will regret it!” he says and he
opens up my jean button pulling down the zip and he
pulls them down together with my underwear. I cry
writhing my body begging for him to stop.

Suddenly, we hear a loud bang sound.

We both freeze.

It’s a gunshot.
...
*
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*
I've decided to wrap this shit up, only a few more
chapters then I'll see if I continue with the second part of
this story (season 2). Thanks for the support guys, I can
never thank you enough. ❤
Chapter Nineteen

It goes off again, this time two times and it’s louder. As
I’m frozen I see blood coming out of Benjamin’s open
mouth before he collapses on top of me. Wtf? I look up
and I see Jason standing there with a gun in his hand. Am
I dreaming? Cause if I am then God this is not funny, at
all!

He pulls Benjamin off me by his shirt and he throws him

on the floor. I’m still startled, I can’t move or say
anything.

“Baby..” He gets closer to me and he wraps his arms

around me squeezing me. He’s hurting my broken arm
but that pain is nothing compared to what I’ve been
through.
I start weeping in his arms.
“I’m sorry.” I say.
“No baby I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left. I’m so sorry
sthandwa sam.. I thought I had lost you forever.” He says
crying. We’re both crying. I can’t believe I’m actually in
his embrace right now. He came just as I was about to
get raped and he saved me.

“Let’s get out of here.” He says after a fair amount of

crying. He first unties my hands and he helps me pull up
my jeans and underwear before picking me up and he
carries me to his car outside. There are lot of cars here
actually and I see about 20 men carrying guns.

“You know what to do in there.” He tells one of these

men as he opens the passenger seat of his Range Rover.
He puts me inside and he also gets in with me. There’s
another guy sitting behind the wheel.

“Take us home.” He instructs.

This house is actually built in a forest. There are no other
houses, it’s just trees everywhere. So that twisted man
actually went through the trouble of building a house in
this secluded place just to kidnap me? Amazeballs.

We drive away in silence. I’m still traumatized by

everything that happened and I can’t believe I’m actually
going home. I’m sitting with my head on Jason’s chest
and he has his arm around me. He keeps squeezing me
and kissing the top of my head. I’m listening to the
rhythm of his heartbeat and it’s very fast.

“Please don’t squeeze me too much, my arm.” I say not

moving from the position we’re sitting in.
“What’s wrong with your arm?” He asks.
“I think it’s broken.”
“He broke your arm?”

I remain quiet. I don’t want to talk about this.

“How’s Quinn?” I ask in stead.
“She’s at Sli's place. She asked me to bring her over when
we told her what was going on.”
“And Babalwa?”
“She’s at the house.”

I keep quiet again, that’s all I needed to know – for now.

We get home and he wants to carry me inside.

“It’s my arm that’s hurt, not my feet.” I say but he still
carries me inside. He takes me to our bedroom and he
puts me on the bed.

“I’ll call the doctor to come and check you out. Should I
run you a hot bath?” he says. I nod.
He disappears to the bathroom and I hear water running.
I start taking off my clothes still sitting on the bed. He
comes back as I’m left in just the underwear.
“Jesus Bulelwa! I… I’m so sorry baby, I’m sorry my love..
He’s going to pay for this.” He says touching the green
bruise on my shoulder and he kisses it. I have a couple of
those all over my body, I haven’t seen my face yet and
I’m scared to see it.

“Jason please..” I don’t need him or anyone to feeling

sorry for me.
“I’m sorry. Your water is ready come on.” He says taking
my hand and we walk in the bathroom. He helps me get
in the bathtub.
“If you need anything just shout my name, I’ll be in the
bedroom.” He says. I nod and he walks out.

I sink my whole body under the hot vanilla scented water

covered with foam and I close my eyes. I start thinking
about my wedding day just to avoid thinking about
everything that happened. By the way is the wedding still
going to happen? Since I lied about being pregnant? My
mind shifts to my baby, I miss her so much.
I lie in the water for like 15 minutes and it starts getting
cold. I sit up and I call Jason to help me out of here. He
gently dries my body with my towel like he’s drying a
fragile newborn baby. I wince when he lifts up my arm.
“I’m sorry.” He says and wraps the towel around my
body. I walk to the basin counter and I see my face for
the first time. Well it’s not as bad as I expected, my eyes
are swollen from crying and my cheek is red from being
slapped earlier but thankfully there are no major bruises.

I brush my teeth and I walk out to the dressing room.

Jason lotions my body and he helps me put on my
underwear and warm pajamas. I know it’s about 2 pm in
the afternoon but I want to sleep.

He opens up the bed for me and he helps get in.

“Don’t sleep yet, the doctor is on his way.” He says
turning on the TV.
“I don’t need a doctor, I’m fine.”
“I didn’t ask you Bulelwa. Should I get you anything? You
not hungry?”
“No but a cup of hot chocolate would be lovely please.”
“Coming right up.” He says and he kisses my forehead.
“Before you go, I can I use your phone to call Sli?”
“Oh I have your phone.” He says opening the drawer and
he takes my phone out and hands it to me. I want to ask
how he got it cause it was in my car but I don’t.

He walks out as I scroll to Sli’s number. I’ll check these

messages later. She picks up on the 2nd ring.

“B is that you?”
“It’s me.”
“Oh my God are you okay? Where are you?”
“I’m at home. I heard Quinn is with you.”
“Yeah she’s here. How did they find you? Where were
you? What happened?”
“Sli please..”
“I’m sorry. Do you want me to bring her?”
“I was going to ask Jason to fetch her but it isn’t too
much trouble, you can bring her.”
“No it’s fine I’ll bring her but we’re at the mall right now,
I’ll bring her a bit later.”
“That’s alright.”
“Bitch I’ve never been this happy just to hear your voice.
Let me end this call before I start crying.” She says and
drops the call. Sigh.

Jason comes back with my hot chocolate and there’s

Babalwa following behind him.
“Okay she’s really here. You’re forgiven now.” She says
to Jason and she comes to my side. “Thank God you’re
okay. I thought you were gone forever, how are you?”
she says giving me a tight hug.
“I’m fine.” I say pushing her a bit cause she’s hurting me.
“What is going on between the two of you?”
“She was mad at me and she told me she wasn’t going to
speak to me until I found you. She actually kicked me out
of the house.” Jason explains.

I smile for the first time shaking my head.

“So where were you? Why did they take you away?” she
asks. Where is her sensitivity? Can’t she see it’s too early
to talk about this? I just got home like an hour ago, can I
rest a bit?

“I don’t want to talk about it. And can you guys leave me
alone now I want to rest.”
“The doctor’s here. I’ll bring him up and you can rest
when he’s done with his job.” He says before walking
out.

He comes back with the doctor and he starts inspecting

my body. Jason is wasting his money really cause there’s
nothing wrong with me. It’s just my arm that needs
attention. The doctor said the bone dislocated and he
put an arm support on it that goes around my neck. He
said it should be back to normal in a week and if not then
I’ll have to do an x-ray.

After taking the prescribed pain medication, they all

leave me and I lie down closing my eyes. I doze off
almost immediately.
---
I feel a hand touching my cheek causing me to scream
and panic.
“Shh it’s okay, it’s me.” He says calming me down. I look
up at him and I have to stop myself from crying.
“I’m sorry.” I say.
“Don’t apologize…Q is here with Sli.” He says.
“Oh what time is it?” I say sitting up.
“It’s 7 pm.”
Oh I slept for like 4 hours. I get up and I put on my
sleepers.

“Where are you going?”

“Downstairs.”
“You need to stay in bed.”
“Babe I’m not sick.”
I walk in the bathroom first before going down.
“Mommy!” Quinn screams when she sees me and she
runs to me. I go down and I hug her with my free arm.
“Baby are you okay?”
“Yeah what happened to your arm?”
“I hurt myself but it’s going to be fine.” I say and I kiss
her.
“Where were you?”
“I…uhm…I had to go somewhere but I promise I’ll never
leave you again.” I say and I hug her again. I want to cry
cause I thought I was never going to see her again.
“I was at Kuchi's house and it was so much fun!”
“Oh so you didn’t miss me?” I make a sad face.
“Of course I missed you silly.” She says and I smile letting
her go.
“And you Kuchi-Muchie, come here.” I say and I also give
her a hug.

They run off to play in Quinn’s room living Sli and I alone
in the lounge. She bought me a huge basket wrapped in a
transparent wrapped and there’s a bottle of champagne,
chocolates, fruits and all kinds of junk food that make
you fat.

“Friend I’m scared to touch you, are you okay?” she says.
“Sli..”
“Ugh fuck it!” she says before giving me a tight hug. I
hear her sniffing.
“Please don’t cry cause you’ll make me cry.”
“I thought I had lost my friend forever.” She cries on my
shoulder causing me to burst into tears as well.
“I also thought I was never going to come back, I was so
scared…”

She pulls away and she places her hands on my shoulder

looking at me.
“You’re here now, you’re safe. Yes you came back with a
broken arm but we should be happy you’re alive.” She
says. I laugh a bit at the broken arm part.
“Let’s sit. I want you to tell me everything. Like where
were you? How did you get there? Why did you go
there? What happened to your arm?”
I don’t really want to talk about it but I know Sli will keep
pushing so I sit nonetheless and I tell everything reliving
every moment which causes us to both cry again.
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that friend.” She says
pulling me in for a hug again.
“I wanted him to kill me so that everything would be
over.”
“I’m sorry B.” she says wiping my tears.

“I honestly don’t know why God thought it was okay to

create this male specie cause they nothing but trouble in
this world. Is that motherfucker still alive?” she says.
I shrug.
I know Jason shot him but I don’t want to tell her that.

“Thank you for taking Quinn.” I say.

“Don’t thank me, she’s my God-daughter. She kept
asking me where you went and I didn’t even know what
to tell her.”
I shake my head imagining what was going through her
head.

She stays for 5 more minutes before they leave cause it’s
school tomorrow.

---
No! He can’t do this to me. I cry begging him to stop as
he pulls down my pants and underwear.

“Please stop please I’m begging you…” I cry harder and I

suddenly feel someone shaking me followed by Jason’s
voice.

“Baby shh it’s okay… it’s just a dream. I’m here.” He says
switching on the side-lamp and pulls me to him. I start
crying uncontrollably. I thought this was over.
He held me in his arms until I calmed down.

“When I walked in he was trying to… was it the first

time? Has he ever touched you before?”
“No.”
“How did he break your arm?”
“He beat me up, he beat me up a couple of times.” I
hope this is the last time I have to tell someone about
this cause it’s not easy.
“I’m so sorry, that dog is going to pay.”
“How is he going to pay when he’s dead?”
“He’s not dead.”
“Jason you shot him, I was there.”
“I shot him but he’s not dead.”
“What?” I turn to face him. “So he’s somewhere out
there? He’s definitely going to come after me, why didn’t
you kill him?”
“No he’s not somewhere out there, I have him kept
somewhere while I think of the most painful way to make
him pay before I kill him. I can’t let him off that easily.”

Wow.

“Have you ever killed a person before?” I ask.

“With my own hands? No. I get people to do it for me but
as for him, I want to do it myself.”

Double wow.

“How did you find me?” I ask.

“Don’t worry yourself about that. You’re here now.”
“Jase I want to know.”
“Well your mother helped us.”
“How?”
“She told me the whole story about her killing your
father and that one of the guys she hired to set up the
accident where your father died in was Benjamin’s late
brother and Benjamin knew about it so he was
blackmailing your mother that if she doesn’t get you to
marry him, he’s going to let out her secret. But now that
you knew your mother told him she doesn’t care
anymore so she figured he could be the one who
abducted you. We looked for him the whole week
without any success until we found him at church
yesterday and we followed him.”
“So my own mother wanted me to marry that psycho just
to protect herself? What kind of a mother is she?
Actually no, I don’t have a mother anymore. I don’t need
people like her in my life.” I wish I could slap her just like
Babalwa did.

He remains quiet.
“And my phone? How did you get it?”
“It was in your car, I found your car parked on that road
the same day you went missing.”

Those words – you went missing.

“Can we stop talking about this please.” I say.

“Yeah try to go back to sleep.”
“What time is it?” I ask taking my phone on the pedestal.
It’s 2.10 am. I check all these messages I have. They all
useless messages but one text from an unsaved number
catches my attention.
“I heard you’re getting married to that so called man of
yours *laughing emojis* not when I’m still alive sisi.”
....short continuation. ❤

Who is this now? Honestly why is my life like this? It’s

one thing after the other.

I shake Jason.
“Baby?” he says opening his eyes.
“Did you go through my phone?”
“No. Why would I do that?”
“Well you should have, look.” I show him the message.
“Who’s this?” he asks.
“I should be asking you that question.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“I don’t know Jason, isn’t this one of your whores?”
“Don’t do that Bulelwa. Let me see the number again.”
He says and I give him the phone.
I see him clenching his jaw. So he knows this number.
“Who’s this Jason?”
“This is my mother’s number.” He says.

Wow. So his mother hates me now. How am I going to

marry his son when she hates me now? You guys know
how strong a mother and son’s relationship is. I’m sure if
he had to chose between me and his mom (which I
would never allow) he would chose his mother without
even thinking about it twice. If I marry him she’s going to
make my life a living hell.

“Maybe we shouldn’t get married.” I say after a moment

of silence. I’m serious about this. We didn’t have all this
drama when were just boyfriend and girlfriend.
“Stop talking nonsense and go back to sleep.”

He doesn’t get it does he? Cause he’s not the one going
through everything I’ve been going through. My life is
already a mess and dealing with a monster-in law is the
last thing I need in my life. Gosh why do I have to keep
paying for my parents' sins? I wonder how she feels
about Babalwa, I’m sure she hates her too.

I put my phone away and I close my eyes. I was going to

pray but I doubt that there is a God anymore. I mean if
he existed would he allow all of this to happen to me?
---
My alarm goes off. I switch it off and I try getting out of
bed but Jason pulls me back.
“Where are you going?” he says.
“I’m going to get Quinn ready for school.”
“The helper will do that. You need to rest.”
“But who will take her to school?”
“There’s a driver who takes her and Bebe to school.”

I sigh and I get back in bed. He puts his arm around me

and his leg on me. I just stared at his face as he’s sleeping
thinking why did I fall in love with you? There are plenty
of men who wouldn’t have given me this drama but no
my stupid heart chose you. I remember in the beginning
of our relationship where the only problems we had
were petty things like him wanting to control what I
wear. But problems we have now are just beyond me.

I have the urge to kiss his lips but I don’t. I actually miss
him, it’s been a while.

We finally woke up at around 10 am. Took a shower and

headed downstairs for breakfast. We’re eating in silence.

“You’re still bothered by that text?” he says breaking the

silence.
“We can’t just ignore it Jase, your mom hates me now.”
“Hate is a big word.”
“And I didn’t mistakenly use it.”
“She doesn’t hate you, she’s just upset about your mom
and Joe situation.”
“I know and because of that she’ll never accept me as
your wife.”
“But you already my wife and there’s nothing she can do
about it.”
“I’m not your wife.”
“Well traditionally you are.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve paid the lobola for you so that makes you my wife.”
“What? How? When? Who did you pay it to?” I add
“what the fuck” in my head.
“Last Saturday. Nothing was cancelled, my uncles
proceeded with your uncles and everything went well.”
He says.
“You paid lobola for a missing person? What if I never
came back? And when were you going to tell me this?”

I’m not sure if I should be mad about this or what cause

that was a really shady move. I want to ask him how
much he paid? Who did the money go to?

“You expected me to tell you yesterday? On top of

everything that happened?”

Okay he has a point there.

“By the way we’re going to Jo’burg this weekend for
Bebe’s ancestral ceremony.” He says.

“Do I have to go?” I’m honestly scared to face his mom.

“You have to, you’re my wife now.”
“Did you tell your family that I’m not pregnant? That I
lied?”
“We don’t have to tell them that. We can say your
abduction caused you to have a miscarriage.”

Why would he even think of such a horrible thing?

“No. You are going to tell them the truth or else I will. I’m
tired of lying Jason, all my lies don’t end well. By the way,
excuse me I need to speak to MaDlamini.” I say getting
up.

I go to the pool house and I knock.

“You can come in Sisi.” She says.
I walk in and I find her cleaning.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you.” I say.
“Not at all, is everything alright?”
“Yes..no..not really. I have something I need to tell you
but I don’t even know where to start.”
“You can sit.” She points on the couch and she sits next
to me.
“What’s bothering you?” she asks.
“Uhm..you remember that day you took me to the
traditional healer? She asked about your soon and she
told me the truth will set me free. What happened to me
made me realize lying about stuff and keeping secrets
causes more harm than revealing the truth from the
beginning.” I say.

She nods in agreement with me.

“So I wanted to come clean to you about Kabelo’s

death.”
She looks confused.
“Your son had been forcefully having sex with my sister
for like a whole year. When we found out about it Jason
sent his friends to get him cause he wanted to punish
him but during that scene Kabelo started shooting them
first, they shot back and he ended up dying. And Mah
when that happened we didn’t know he was your son,
we only found out when you told me your son was
murdered.”

“Liar!” she shouts making me flinch. “That sister of yours

probably threw herself at my son and you decide to kill
him for it?”
“Mah how can you say that?”
“Mywa yamasimba! You are a wolf in a sheepskin! This is
the problem with you rich people, you think you can get
away with everything. Well not with me, I will not rest
until you pay for what happened to my son. I want you to
feel the pain of losing a child, watch your precious little
daughter.” She says and she disappears to the bedroom.

Did she just threaten to kill my child?

She comes back with all her bags.
“Mah please my child is just an innocent soul, kill me if
you want your revenge.” I plead.
“I’ve over stayed my welcome here.” She says before
walking out.

I run back into the house crying.

“Baby what’s wrong? What happened?” Jason asks

panicking.
“She threatened to come for my child, she can’t harm my
baby. Why doesn’t she pay her vengeance on me?”
“Who? What are you talking about?”
“MaDlamini. I told her about her son’s death now she
wants to make me feel the pain of losing a child.”
“Where is she?” he asks.
“She just left.” I say.

He grabs his car keys and he walks out of the house.

Where is he rushing to now? Wow Bulelwa. Just wow. I
thought I was making things right but I just put my child’s
life in danger.
Chapter Twenty

Jason comes back home after being gone for two full
hours. When I tried to call him I realized he left his phone
behind.

“Baby where are you coming from?” I ask.

“I had to let that woman know if she dares come
anywhere near my family, she will die like her son.”
“You think she’ll leave us alone?”
“I made sure she’ll leave us alone.”

What the fuck does he mean by that?

“Did you kill her?” the way I’m so comfortable with the
word kill nowadays, it amazes me.
“Don’t be stupid, I did not kill her. But I made sure she’ll
play far away from us.” He says.
I hope she does or else I’ll have to kill her myself. You can
mess with me but not my baby, that’s when the other
side of me will come out.

“Please get me a gun.” I say after a moment.

He starts laughing. Did I say a joke?
“Who you want to shoot now?” he says laughing.
I just look at him.
“Wait you’re serious?” he says.
“I need to protect myself Jase.”
“You don’t need a gun, I’m here to protect you.” He says.
“Just like how you protected me when they took me
away?”

He stops and he looks at me. Okay that was a low blow.

“Sorry. What I’m trying to say is that you won’t always be

with me everywhere I go.”
“You don’t need a gun Bulelwa, you’ll always be
protected.” He says.

It’s okay for him to keep a gun but I can’t? Mxm I’ll get it
myself then. And no I’m not going to shoot anyone, I
need it to scare people off when I find myself in trouble.

As I’m walking away I feel him behind me and his arms

snake around my waist.
“I miss you.” He whispers kissing my neck.
“I miss you too..” I say before turning around, I wrap my
free arm around his neck and we kiss. I pull back after
some time and I look in his eyes before going for it again.
This time it’s more deeper and demanding.

He stops and he looks at me.

“Where’s your ring?” he asks. Did he only notice now
that I’m not wearing it?
“Benjamin threw it away.”
He laughs. I lost a ring that is worth close to a R100 000
and he’s laughing about it?

“I’ll get you a new one.” He says before kissing me again.

“You sure about this?” he asks. How can he ask me that

when I’m already longing for him.

I nod.

He picks me up and he takes me to our bedroom shutting

the door behind us. Sorry but you not needed in here.

---
The rest of the week was normal. Thankfully nothing out
of the ordinary happened. Well besides the fact that I
wake up every night in the middle of the night
screaming. I think I’ll have to see a therapist about that.
Today is Friday and we’re leaving for Joburg this evening.
I thought about leaving Quinn with Sli but I don’t think
it’s safe, I mean we still have an enemy out there who
wants her vengeance on us. I finally removed the arm
support, my arm has healed – not fully but I can use it
and move it around now.

Babalwa isn’t really keen on meeting her father and I

don’t blame her, I’d feel the same way too. I’m also
stressed out on my side about how they’ll look at me
when they find out I lied about the pregnancy.

It’s 2 pm and I’m trying to clean up the house, it’s not

really dirty so I’m just doing the touch ups... No I’m just
lazy.

The kids come back from school with Jason, he told me

he was going to fetch them today. By the way we now
have securities guarding by the gate 24/7 and I can’t
drive myself anywhere now. To be honest with you I
really hate this life that we have to live now, like I just
want us to live like normal people.
I find Babalwa in her room already packing some of her
stuff.

“How do you feel about meeting your father for the first
time tomorrow?” I say sitting on the bed.
She just shrugs.

“Promise me you won’t be rude to him.”

“Do I go around being rude to people?” She asks.

Yes you do.

“No..I mean I know you’re probably mad at him, but at

least try to address him with respect cause he’s still your
father.”
“Please stop saying that.”
“Okay…” I say raising my hands. “I actually wanted to
speak to you about next year, have you decided what
you want to study and where do you want to study?”
“You know I want to do modelling.”
“I know but you also need to have a qualification, you
can do modelling on the side.”
“I don’t know, I’m not interested in anything.”

Sigh.

“Why don’t you do a research on different universities

and see what they offer, maybe you’ll find something
you like.”

She shrugs.

“I’ll see.”

I can just tell by the way she said that, that she’s not
taking what I’m saying seriously. I’ll speak to Jason about
it, maybe he’ll be able to speak some sense into her.

---
It’s Saturday morning, I get up first and I shower before
waking Jason up – the most frustrating thing when he has
to get up really early. He always turns his back on me and
tells me to leave him alone. I literally spend 15 minutes
just to get him up. Last night we got here really late and
now we have to get up super early so we only had just a
few hours of sleep. The ceremony will take place at their
family home in some village and they told us we have to
be there by 7 am.

He finally gets up and I leave him to wake the kids

starting with Babalwa. Lol she literally just swore at me.
My baby didn’t give me a hard time cause she’s just
excited about seeing Hlelo.

After everyone had a shower we gathered in the dining

room, had breakfast and left. We drove for like two
hours before arriving at this beautiful yellow double story
house that doesn’t look like something you would find at
a village. It’s surrounded by 4 modern rondavels, also
yellow in colour and there’s a kraal filled with cows.
“Mommy look at the big cows.” Quinn says. We’re still in
the car and Babalwa is sleeping.
“I see...”
“Daddy can you take me to see them?” she says.
“Yes we will go and see them later.” Jason says opening
the door. He comes to open my door before opening the
backseat for Quinn to get out. I wake Babalwa up.

“B what is your problem!” She says looking very

annoyed.
“You need to get up, we’re here.”

She looks around and she rubs her eyes before stepping
out of the car.
It suddenly starts raining, like pouring! The sun was up
just a minute ago, this is so weird.
Jason locks the car as we rush inside. I don’t know why
I’m anxious. No I know why I’m anxious, I’m about to
meet Jason’s extended family and I’m shitting myself.
We enter the house through the backdoor, that is the
kitchen door and we find a woman probably in her mid-
fifties.

“Hhe Lisebo ngwana ka how are you? And who are these
beautiful ladies?” she says.
“I’m good Rakgadi, how are you? This is my fiancée
Bulelwa, this is her sister Babalwa and her daughter
Queen.” He says.

I’m not even going to correct him on my daughter’s

name.

“Hhe this is our makoti, now I understand the sudden

rain. She’s beautiful. Welcome home ngwana ka we are
your family now. I’m Rakgadi Sbongile.” She says giving
me a hug.
“Thank you. Pleased to meet you.” I say politely.
“And you look just like your sister Kamo, I’m your father’s
sister.” She says to Babalwa who gives her a fake smile.
So she knows? I’m assuming the whole family knows
then.

“And this cute little one, how are you Nana?” she says to
Quinn.
Quinn is just lost.

“Lisebo take the kids to meet their cousins in Kgomotso’s

room and makoti will help me make tea for bo ntate in
the living room.” She says.

“Baby I’ll be back.” Jason says kissing my cheek before

picking Quinn up and they disappear to the passage with
Babalwa. I always tell him she’s too grown to be carried
but he doesn’t listen, he never listens.

I don’t mind helping with making the tea but I hope I

don’t have to serve them. I’ve never been this grateful to
my aunt for teaching me how to make tea for elders.
The aunt shows me the cups and saucers and I start
placing them on a tray.
“He really loves you.” She says. I look around, oh she’s
speaking to me. I just blush.

Another woman wearing an apron walks in as we’re busy

making the tea.

“Hhe Sbo who’s this now?” she says.

“This is Bulelwa, Lisebo's wife.”- Rakgadi Sbongile.
“Hhe bathong! Kgante how many wives does Lisebo
have? Where’s that other one, what’s her name again?
Katlego? Yes Katlego.” She says.
“Stop it Martha, you know they divorced.”- Rakgadi
Sbongile.
“They divorced?” she claps once. “I didn’t know they
divorced! Lisebo left that lovely girl for her? Ausi how old
are you?” she says looking at me.

I don’t even know what to say.

“Martha leave this child alone. Don’t mind her ngwana
ka.”- Rakgadi Sbongile.
“Come here, take this water to the women washing the
insides by the kraal and ask them if they need any help.”-
Martha.

She expects me to carry a 20 litre bucket full of water by

myself? And did she just say I should offer to help wash
the insides? This Martha is going to make my life really
difficult her. By the way the rain has stopped and the sun
is up again.

I pick up the bucket, I walk two steps and I put it down

again. This shit is really heavy and I can’t even change
hands cause my arm hasn’t even fully healed yet. I guess
I’ll take two steps and rest until I reach those two women
that are like a short distance away.

I pick the bucket again and I walk two steps before

putting it down.
“Leaving his wife for a model c girl who is probably after
his money.” Martha mumbles as she walks past me. She
reaches those women and she says something to them
before they all turn to look at me and they start laughing.

I look up pushing my tears back. I can’t cry now, they’ll

think I’m weak and take advantage of that. I continue
with my two steps. My arm is really tired now so I have
no choice but to use the one that is hurt.

“What the hell are you doing Bulelwa? You want to hurt
yourself?” I hear Jason’s voice behind me as he rushes to
me.

“They asked me to carry the water there.” I say

breathlessly.
“Who asked you to do that?”
“Your aunt.”
“Rakgadi Sbongile?”
“No. One of those women standing there.” I point with
my eyes.
He shakes his head.

“Come with me.” He says taking the bucket and I follow

him. We reach them and they suddenly on silent mode.

“Who asked my wife to carry this water?” he asks.

“Bathong Lisebo I was only joking with her but she took
me seriously.”- Martha.
“No you weren’t joking, you think I don’t know how you
are? Now I want you to listen to me carefully, this is my
wife and you all are going to respect her. Don’t ever ask
her to do anything cause she is not here for you, are we
clear?” he says with his firm authoritative voice.

They all nod.

“Let’s go inside.” He says taking my hand and we walk

away. I have this urge to turn around and stick my
tongue out at them.
“Why did you agree to do that?” he says.
“You expected me to say no to an elder?”
“A crazy elder? Yes.”
“No that’s not funny babe, you can’t call your aunt
crazy.”

As we’re walking to the kitchen I see Hlelo's car parking

in the yard.
“Is that Hlelo?” I ask. I’m actually happy she’s here now,
at least I’ll have someone I’m used to and comfortable
with.

The backseat door opens first and Reneilwe steps out

wearing a bum short, you know the one that shows your
butt cheeks? And then the passenger door opens and I
see Jason’s mom stepping out and my happiness is
immediately gone. Hlelo is still in the car and it looks like
she’s on the phone.

“Wha'sup!” Reneilwe greets as she walks past us into the

kitchen. Smh.
Jason’s mom also reaches where we’re standing.
“My son, how are you?” she says like I’m not even here.
“I’m well mom, how are you?” he says.
“Now that I’ve seen you, I’m a hundred.” She says with a
smile pinching his cheek.
“Hi Mah.” I try.
She just gives me a deadly look before walking away.

I look away swallowing the lump forming in my throat.

“Hey look at me.” Jason says taking my face his hands

and he turns me to face him. “Don’t let it get to you,
she’ll come around.” He says.
“How can you say that? You saw how she was looking at
me.”
“I know, I’ll talk to her. Let’s go inside.”

Dude she was giving me malicious stares right in front of

you and you didn’t even say anything about it. This is
actually a very tricky situation cause I don’t want him to
feel like he has to take sides between me and his mom.

“No you can go in, I’ll wait for Hlelo.” I say.

“You sure?”
I nod.
He kisses me before going inside.

I wait for like 2 minutes and Hlelo finally gets out of the
car.
“B! I’m so happy to see you. I’m so sorry about what
happened to you, are you okay?” she says giving me hug.

I’d be okay if your mom didn’t hate me.

“Yes I’m fine now. How are you?” I ask.

“I’m good. And the baby?” she says placing her hand on
my flat tummy.

Oh Jesus.
“Uhm…I’m not pregnant Hlelo.”
She widens her eyes.
“Oh I’m sorry, what happened? Did you lose the baby?”
“No. I was never pregnant. It was a false alarm.” I say and
I leave it at that. At least I’m not lying.
“Ugh! I thought I was going to have a new niece or
nephew, I’m sure it’ll happen soon though. I heard
everything went well with your lobola negotiations.”
“Yeah even though I wasn’t even there, your brother is
really shady.” I say and she laughs.

We carry on talking while making our way inside. Hlelo

goes to greet everyone in the house and I just remain in
the kitchen with Rakgadi Sbongile. I like her.

Hlelo returns after some time holding Quinn’s hand. We

just chill in the kitchen helping Rakgadi Sbongile with
whatever she needs help with whilst listening to her
stories about her youth days.
Jason’s father arrived and they started with the
ceremony. I saw him, Jason, 3 of Jason’s uncles and a
very old man with a walking stick all going into one of the
rondavels, including Babalwa and Jason’s mom. I don’t
know what’s happening in there, all I heard was a goat
being slaughtered.

“How does your sister, well our sister feel about all this?”
Hlelo asks me.
“I don’t know, she doesn’t talk about her feelings but just
by agreeing to come here, I think she has accepted it.”

After like 30 minutes they finally come out and I see

Jason’s mom wiping her tears. This must be really hard
for her.

Jason walks in the house and he tells me his grandfather

wants to see me.
“Aye ye Bulelwa I don’t wish to be you right now.” Hlelo
says laughing.
Hha what does she mean? I just stand there biting my
bottom lip.

“Hlelo stop it. Come on baby, there’s nothing wrong with

grandpa.” Jason says taking my hand and we walk out.

He leads to his grandpa who is now sitting under the tree

drinking traditional beer. There are two empty chairs so
we also sit.
“On the floor baby.” Jason says.
“Oh sorry.” I say and I sit on the floor.

“Ngubani ke lo?”- the grandpa. I’m surprised he’s

speaking Zulu but his accent is a bit funny. He sounds like
Quinn when she speaks Zulu.
“This is MaNzimande grandpa.”- Jason.
“Uvela kuphi?”- the grandpa.
“KZN, in Pietermaritzburg.”- Jason.
“Ke mo Zulu?”- grandpa.
“Yes. Her mother is Xhosa.”- Jason.
“Hmm. I saw it rained.”- grandpa.
“It did indeed.”- Jason.

What’s up with this rain everyone keeps talking about?

“Our ancestors have spoken and I can’t disagree with

them. You can take makoti inside now.”- Grandpa.
“Thank you grandpa.” Jason says before getting up. I
don’t know if I should say anything or just remain quiet.
He tells me to get up as well and takes my hand and we
walk away.

He suddenly wraps his arms around my waist and he

starts kissing me.
“Jase your grandpa is watching!” like what the fuck?
“So?”
“No stop!” I say pulling away from him and I walk ahead
of him.
We were served lunch and stayed for like two hours
before leaving. I’m actually tired, I just want to take a
shower and sleep. I’m glad everything went well though.

“Bebe you like your new name? Amogelang, it’s a

beautiful name.” Jason says as we’re driving back to the
house. So they gave her a new name?

“You have a new name?” I ask looking back at Babalwa.

“Please my name is Babalwa.”
“You’ll also get a new name when we have the Sotho
wedding.”

Oh that is the same as the Xhosa culture.

We get to the house and as I’m taking of my clothes to go

for a shower, I get a message on my phone.

“Don’t let the rain fool you my dear.”

It’s his mom again.

“Jason what’s with this rain that everyone keeps

mentioning?”

He looks at me and he grins his face off.

“What?”
“The rain is a sign that my ancestors bless our union. In
my family it always rains when a wife comes to the family
house for the first time – well that’s if our ancestors
accept that wife. When I took Katlego home for the first
time it never rained.” He says.

I don’t believe in ancestors but that’s amazing.

“Well look what your mom sent me.” I show him the
message and I sigh.
*
*
*
*
(Unedited)
Also, excuse my Sotho 😂
💕💕💕
Chapter Twenty One

“This is it, I’ve had it with mom.” He says grabbing his

phone and he dials his mom’s number.

“Please don’t be rude to her.” I say as the phone is

ringing on the other end. He put it on louder speaker.

“Ngwana ka.” His mom says as she picks up the phone.

“Mom why do you keep sending these nasty messages to
my wife?”
“Your wife? I didn’t know you have a wife, what’s her
name?”
“Mom please..” he says.
“So you’re also with them Lisebo? You’re with my
enemies?”
“Enemies? Mom your only enemy is their mother, she’s
the one who slept with your husband not my wife.”
She laughs but it’s not a kind laugh.
“Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you here? Have you
ever heard of the phrase ‘an apple doesn’t fall too far
from the tree’? She’ll probably do the same thing to you.
Bofebe is in her blood, I knew there was something I
didn’t like about her from the first time I saw her.”

Wow… So she was just pretending that she’s fond of me?

I honestly didn’t get that vibe, I thought she was sincere.

“What the hell is that? Are you even hearing yourself?

Cause if you are, you would understand that you’re
speaking shit right now!” he says raising his voice a bit.

“Babe stop it.” I whisper to him giving him a

reprimanding look. He can’t speak to his mom that way.
“Lisebo is that how you speak to me now? You raise your
voice at me?” she says.
“I’m sorry but you’re putting me in a really difficult
situation. Can I ask you something?” he says.
“Hmm?” she says.
“Do you love me?”
“Of course I love you, you know I love you very much.
You’re my one and only son.”
“If you love me as much as you say you do, you will
accept Bulelwa as my wife. And not only accept her but
also love her as your daughter-in law.”
“But-“
“No buts mom. I love you.” He says and drops the call.

“Don’t force her to feel that way about me cause then it

would not be genuine.” I say and I walk away into the
bathroom and I lock. I want to shower alone. No I’m not
really upset, I just don’t want his mom to pretend that
she likes me just to please her son when deep down she
knows that she despises me. I understand if she doesn’t
like me but all I’m asking is that she stops sending me
these texts and at least try to be civil with me.
---
We returned to Pmb Sunday morning. I had to take the
kid’s uniforms to the laundromat since we don’t have a
helper now. You guys thought I was going to wash those
uniforms and iron them myself? I’ve never hidden that I
don’t like doing any domestic work. I’ll have to find a new
helper ASAP.

We had a normal Sunday afternoon. Monday morning I

did the usual, woke up and got Quinn ready for school.
When they left, we had a very intense workout session
with Jason, or was it intense for me cause I haven’t
worked out in like a month? By the way my arm is okay
now.

After working out, he carries me on his back all the way

upstairs to our bedroom and into the bathroom cause I
was complaining that my muscles hurt and I won’t be
able to walk up the stairs.
“Go down now, we’re here.” He says.
“No.” I say and I hold him tighter, I also lock him with my
legs around his waist.
“Baby you heavy.” He says.
“No I’m not.”
“So you going to shower whilst you’re on my back?”
“Mhm.”
“Let’s take off your clothes first then you can get back on
my back.” He says.
“I love you Jason.”
“I know.”

Wow. I jump off him and I start taking of my gym clothes

– Nike tights and a matching sport bra.

“So you not going to say you love me?”

“Nah..” he says and plants a kiss on my lips.
Should I be worried? I probably should. Not! Anyway
after stripping off all our clothes, I put on my shower cap
and we step inside the shower.
“Babe.” I say.
“My love.”
“I want to see Benjamin.”
“Hmm?” he’s taken aback by what I just said.
“I want to see him where you kept him.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Please..I need to see him in pain.” I say. I want to satisfy
the devil living inside me, I want to see him cry for his
Momma, maybe I’ll stop having nightmares about what
he did to me.

“I don’t know Bulelwa.. I don’t-“

I turn to face him.
“Please..” I say looking at him.
He sighs.
“If that’s you want, you will see him.”
“Today.” I say.
“Today.”
We finish showering and we get dressed before going
downstairs to have breakfast. Again he carried me
downstairs, I’m really enjoying this.
After breakfast he left for a meeting he had and came
back after two hours now we’re driving to see that Dog. I
keep thinking about it and now I’m not sure if I actually
want to see him. I’m anxious and I want to tell Jason to
do a U-turn but no. I have to see him. I need the
assurance that he’ll never escape and come after me.

We drive to some township and we stop and this house

fenced with the great walls of China. There are two guys
at the gate carrying big guns.

“Whose house is this?” I ask as the gate opens for us to

drive in.
“You really want to know?” he says as he parks in the
yard.
I just look at him. I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t want to
know.

“It’s my house.”

Why am I not surprised by that? I guess this is where he

does all his dirty work.
He opens his door and he comes to open my door before
taking my hand and we walk inside.

“I really hate what you’re making me do right now, you

shouldn’t be subjected to this.” He says.
You should have told me that before we left the house.

He opens the door which isn’t locked and we step inside.

Okay this is a normal house, nicely furnished like a family
could live here.

“This is a nice house, why haven’t you showed me this

house before?” I say looking around.
“Come on.” he says pulling me by my hand. I don’t know
why he’s so tense all of a sudden.

We walk down the passage to the door that is facing us

at the end of the passage. He opens it and we’re met
with darkness. This room is dark and there are steps
going down, it’s like a basement.
He walks in but I just stand there. I’m a little freaked out.

“Come on, you said you wanted to do this right?”

I bite my bottom lip as I follow behind him. We get to the

bottom, it’s dark but you can see everything. There are
three very intimidating men and then this dog on the
floor with his hands and feet tied with shackles, Jesus he
looks like death. I mean he’s been here for a week
without food and water. He looks so weak, or is he dead
already?

I slowly walk closer to him, I want him to see me.

“What are you doing?” Jason says pulling me back.
“It’s okay.” I say and I continue walking closer until I’m
standing over him. I use my foot to lift up his bowed
head. Our eyes meet.

“Bu..bu..bule..lwa.” you can barely make out what he’s

saying.
“Hi baby.” I say sarcastically.
“I..I’m sor-sorry..”
I laugh.
“You’re sorry? Oh I forgive you but you still going to pay
and here’s your first payment from me.” I kick him on his
gut.
He winces. I don’t think he still has the energy to scream.
“You like that?” I give him a second kick.
“Was it worth it huh?” I kick him again.
“I would take a gun and kill you right now but lucky for
you I’m not a murderer and I don’t need your blood on
my hands so we’re just going to play this little game
called stamp on my nuts. Please make him lie down
facing upwards.” I tell one of the guys and they do just
that.

“Baby I think-“
“No Jason don’t try to stop me.” I say and I look at this
pig lying before me. I start stamping on his manhood
with my foot and I continue several times before seeing
tears rolling out of his eyes. Now I’m satisfied.

“You crying? Aww I’m sorry.” I say and I turn to Jason. “I

think I’m done here.”
“You happy? Can we leave now?” He says.

I nod and we walk out. On the drive back home we’re

both quiet, I don’t know if he’s mad at me or what but
I’m not going to entertain it.

---
Six months later
Today is Wednesday and I’m super duper excited cause
my cousin-sister Aviwe is landing. Yes she’s coming to S.A
after being gone for like 6 years without visiting all
thanks to me! Well she’s coming for the measurements
for her bridesmaid dress for my wedding. She and Hlelo
are going to be my bridesmaids since I don’t have friends
and Sli will be my maid of honor. This weekend we’re
also taking a trip to Amsterdam to see my man Kanye
West live. My fiancé surprised me with 3 VIP tickets after
he saw the show being advertised on TV. I had to buy the
4th ticket cause I’m taking all my bridal squad with me.
This trip will sort of be like my bachelorette party since I
never had an engagement party.

Jason’s family came to cleanse my parents’ house a few

weeks after Babalwa’s ceremony and then a month after
that we had the Zulu traditional wedding (umembeso).
We having the white wedding in 2 months and Jason
found the best wedding planners in the country and
judging by their previous weddings, they really are the
best, I heard they’ve done a few of our celebrity
weddings so I trust that they’re going to make my dream
wedding come alive. You see for me white weddings are
a very intimate ceremony so I don’t need everyone that I
know showing up, Jase and I came to the agreement that
he’ll invite 30 people and I’ll also invite 30 so we’ll have a
total of only 60 people at our wedding, and that includes
family. And then the whole country can come to the
Sotho wedding the next day.

Oh and my dresses are getting made on the other side of

the world in LA honey by one of the best well-known
designers. I’m getting two dresses cause I was undecided
if I wanted a Mermaid dress or a Cinderella dress. I have
to go there next month for the final fittings and if they
don’t need any alterations, hopefully I’ll be flying back to
S.A with them. I’m really taking advantage of my man’s
money and I feel good about it.

Jason’s mom and I are good now. She apologized for the
way she had been acting towards me but now I can’t fully
trust that her apology was genuine since she said there
was something she didn’t like about me from the day she
met me but continued to pretend as if she adores me.
Anyway she’s the least of my problems really.
We haven’t heard anything from MaDlamini since she
left and it makes wonder exactly what did Jason say to
her that day she left. We have new helpers now Lindiwe
and aunt Patty. Lindiwe is in her early thirties and aunt
Patty is in her mid-fifties. In case you’re wondering what
happened to Benjamin, poor thing died after being kept
in that house for two months without eating or drinking
anything.

Ugh let me stop blabbering and go take a shower. Aviwe

is landing at 11 am so I have to leave for the airport at 10
am. I’m going to drive myself to the airport, I’m tired of
being chauffeured around like I’m a kid. I hope Jason
doesn’t find out though cause he’ll kill me.
Before leaving I ask aunt Patty to put clean towels in the
en-suit bathroom of guestroom that Aviwe will be using.

---
I can see by the screens that her flight has landed and I
wait by the arrivals for like 5 minutes before seeing her
pushing a huge suitcase, err… how long is she staying
cause she told me she was going to be here for just one
week. She’s wearing a white T-shirt with cropped jeans
and sneakers. She has a long sleeved denim shirt tied
around her waist and a backpack on her back with her
long loose braids.

Look at her looking around, she can’t see me. I sneak

behind her.

“You’ve been missing for so long you can’t even

recognize me now.” I say.
She turns around.
“Oh my gosh! Bulelwa!” She says before embracing me in
a hug.
“Hey miss Australia!”
“No don’t say that! I was planning on visiting in
December.” She says with an Australian accent. Tyini!
“Please..tell that to someone who doesn’t know you’ve
been gone for six years without visiting. I see you’ve even
developed the accent.”
“Accent yikaka ndingumXhosa mna.” She says and we
both laugh. Like wow okay.
“I’m so happy to see, you look great.” I say.
“You too! I actually can’t believe you’re getting married
when I can’t keep the same boyfriend for a month.” She
says and she huffs.

I laugh cause I hope that’s a joke.

“Let me help you with that. You must be tired.” I say and
I push the suitcase for her and we start walking.
“No I’m too excited to be tired. How’s Quinn? She has
grown so much! There was this video of her you posted
on Instagram where she was attempting to do a make-up
tutorial, I was like I need this video on my phone and
literally downloaded Instagram video downloader just for
it.”

“She’s growing so fast I wish there was a way of pausing

it.”

She laughs.
“And the hubby?”
“He’s good, I would’ve came with him to fetch you but
he’s at work.”

We get to the car and I unlock.

“Twin don’t tell me you drive a Porsche now!” she says

pausing. I forgot we used to call each other twins.
“No it’s Jason’s car.” I clarify loading her bags in the car.
This suitcase is really heavy.

We get in the car and we continue catching up whilst

driving out of her. We still have a loooot of catching up
to do and I’m still not sure if I should tell her we have the
same father or not.
*
*
*
*
We finally meet Aviwe! 😍 Do you think B should tell her
they have the same father?
Chapter Twenty Two
A fun drama-free chapter for once 💕

Aviwe’s POV

“Oh wow is this your house? And these cars?” I’m in awe.
This house is lush, very lush.
“Unfortunately it’s all Jason’s.”

Oh my twin here trying to be modest I see. I know that

white beast is hers.

“You’re about to get married to him which means it’ll be

yours as well. You guys are living good here, maybe I
should leave Australia and come back.”
“You should mate.” She says before laughing at herself.
Was she attempting the Australian accent? Cause if so
that was horrible.
“You nailed it.” I say also chuckling.
I attempt to open the car trunk but she stops me.

“Leave that heavy suitcase there, I’ll ask Jason to get it

when he comes back.” She says.

We walk inside this very luxurious house. Hmm I wonder

what job does Jason do cause clearly they don’t have any
financial problems.

“Would you like anything to eat or drink? Actually no.

There’s the kitchen there, make yourself comfortable,
I’m not going to treat you like a guest here.” She says.
“But I am a guest!”
“No you not, you’re family.”
“Okay can I at least be treated as a guess just for today?”

She looks at me and she smiles, her smile is still

charming.

“Just for today.” She says.

“Now sweep your feet to the kitchen and get me a glass
of juice.” I say settling on the couch and I take out my
phone from my backpack and I switch it on.

She comes back with my juice and she places it on the

coffee table.
“Thank you. Do you guys have Wi-Fi? I need to iMessage
mom and tell her I arrived.”
“Yeah the password is lollipops. How’s your mom
anyway?”
“She’s okay. She’s now married to a very old white man
that is 5 to death.” I say and I look up at her from my
phone and we both burst out laughing.

“We’re both going to hell. How’s makazi and Babalwa?” I

ask.
“Mom is there. Babalwa stays here with us so you’ll see
her later. Actually Quinn will come back any minute from
now.”
“She comes back alone?”
“No the helper fetches her with the driver.”
The driver? These people are really living the life hey?

“I can’t wait to see her, I was actually more excited to see

her than seeing you.”
“Wow I’m hurt.” She says placing her hand on her chest.
“You’re still a baby Bulelwa. Gosh I can’t believe I’m
actually here, I feel like screaming! When last did you
visit the Eastern Cape?”
“Yho it’s been a while, I think it’s been 4 years now since
I last went there.”
“You’re as bad as me! And I’m even better cause I was on
a different continent.”
“I know.. It’s just that my life has been so caught up
here.”

Her phone rings.

“Sorry.” She says to me before answering.

“Babe.”

I take my phone and I text this jackass I call my boyfriend

whilst listening to her side of the conversation.

“Yeah she’s here, are you still at work?”

“Not yet but I’m sure she’s on the way now.”
“Okay.”
She starts giggling.
“No Jase stop.”
“I love you.” She says and finally drops the call.

“You are so love-struck, I just saw a different Bulelwa

when you were speaking on the phone. It’s actually
cute.”
“Akhonto icute wethu, relationships are stressful, I can’t
even imagine what marriage will be like.”

What could be stressing them cause to me it seems like

they living the best life here.
“At least you’re happy.”
“I am happy..there’s Quinn. You stay here and I’ll hide, I
want to see her reaction.” She says getting behind the
couch. I just laugh.

One of the double front doors opens after a minute and a

lady walks in carrying the kid’s school bag and lunch bag.
She greets and she disappears into the kitchen.

“Mo-“ she stops and she frowns. Gosh she’s so adorbs

and her hair is to die for.
“Who are you and why do you look like my mommy?”
she says.
“I’m your second mommy.” I say with a smile.
“No you not, where’s mommy?”
“She’s hiding somewhere, let’s go and look for her.” I say
taking her hand and we start searching. We search under
the dining table.

“Nope she’s not here.” She says.

We search behind all the couches.

“There she is!” she says giggling. “Mommy we got you!”

“You got me. This is my cousin aunt Aviwe.” Bulelwa says
getting up.
“Aunt? Just call me mommy Aviwe baby.”
“Where do you live?” she asks.
“I live very faaaaar away.”
“You speak funny.”

I’m guessing she means the accent. I don’t know how it

happens cause I try to speak normal and it automatically
comes back.

“I get that a lot.” I say.

“Okay let’s go and change your uniform. Twin you can
come and I’ll show you the room you’ll be using.”
Bulelwa says and we walk upstairs. Man this house is
huge.
My twin’s fiancé finally came back with Babalwa and man
Bulelwa is dealing with a masterpiece. If I had a man that
fine, I’d lick him all day and I’d probably be insecure as
fuck. I mean I’m sure whores drool over him everywhere
he goes, I was also drooling over him, I couldn’t help
myself. Before you judge me, it’s just an innocent crush,
the same crush Bulelwa and I have on Kanye West.
Anyway…. They really love each other and it’s such a
beautiful thing to witness.

Babalwa has grown and she’s so pretty, the last time I

saw her she was like 12. Bulelwa keeps calling her
Amogelang or something and she seems very annoyed by
that, I don’t know what’s up with that.

---
Bulelwa’s POV

“Twin can we go to a club or something, I want to have

some fun and maybe I can meet an African hunk that will
keep me busy while I’m here.” Aviwe says sitting on the
high chair as I’m spicing up the meat I’ll put in the griller
for dinner. We’ll have it with this precooked lasagna.

Like girl you just arrived today, aren’t you tired? I want to
ask how long will you be staying, not that I don’t want
her to stay for too long, she can stay the whole year – I’m
happy she’s here. Let me rather not ask her that.

“You want to go to a club on a Wednesday night? It’s

probably empty.”

She huffs.

“Can we go on the weekend? Would your man allow

you?”
“Yes he would allow me if we weren’t going to be in
Amsterdam.”
“Amsterdam?” she looks confused.
“Yes I have VIP tickets to see Kanye West live.”
“You joking?”
“Does it look like I’m joking? We’re all going there this
weekend to see him.”
“By ‘we’re all’ you mean?”
“I mean you, me, Hlelo – that’s Jason’s sister, she’s also
my bridesmaid and my friend Sli.”
“You got VIP tickets for all 4 of us?”
“Yeah..well Jason did but yes.”
“Oh my gosh! I think I’m going to visit here more often
now, this is the life! I’m going to see Kanye live! You
remember that CD we used have when we were in high
school and we knew every song word for word?”
“I remember and you came to visit at my house and stole
the poster of him that I had on my wall bitch.” I say and
we both laugh.
“I’m sorry but I couldn’t help it, he was so sexy on that
poster.”

We had dinner and when it was time to go to bed Aviwe

was struggling to sleep – I think the jet lag was catching
up with her and she forced me to stay up with her. We
chatted the whole night away, it was like we were never
separated. I joined Jason in bed at like 2 am.

----
It’s 8 am, the kid’s have gone to school and I’m having
my workout session with Jase. I’m working on the ab
machine with him counting for me.

“25....5 more.” He says.

I pull again even though I feel like I’m dying.
“26….come on baby you can do it.”
I do the last 4 and I rest back catching my breath.
“Good job! Give me a high five.” He says.

I high five him getting up to get my water bottle and I

realize Aviwe is standing by the doorway watching. She’s
wearing very revealing pajamas, that short looks like
underwear.

“You’re up early.” I say.

“I can’t waste my time here in bed. Do you guys do this
like everyday?” She says.
“Monday to Friday.”
“Gosh I’d literally die.”
“I need to keep my body in shape before someone starts
having a wondering eye hmm Jason?” I joke eyeing him
but he’s not even paying attention to us, he’s busy with
his pushups.

No I don’t workout for him, that was a joke. I workout for

myself, to feel good about myself.

“Your hair is so long now, you must do braids so we’ll

look like real twins and confuse people.” She says as
we’re walking away.

I just laugh. I know we look alike, Jason said it too but we

don’t look like twins. By the way I’m still battling with
telling her about our father.

“Will you do them?” she says.

I shrug.
“Please...”
“Okay!”
“Yay!” she says attempting to hug me.
“Aviwe I’m sweaty. Let me go and take a shower.”
“Girl I can lick your sweat, I’ve licked things worse than
that.” She says. Again, I hope she’s joking. But it doesn’t
look like she’s joking.

I go back to the gym room to get Jason as she goes

upstairs.

---
So we went to the salon and I got my long braids done. I
must say they look good on me. We also did our nails and
just drove around to some of the places she wanted to
see that she still remembers. Again Jason doesn’t know
I’m driving myself around.

We also did some shopping for our trip tomorrow, she

doesn’t know we’re travelling by Jason’s private jet. Hlelo
is the only one who knows. Babalwa is very mad at me
cause she can’t go with us. I’ve been having fun annoying
her by calling her Amogelang.

Friday came and I woke up feeling on top of the world.

Jason will drive all three of us to the airport and we’ll
meet Hlelo there. We’re supposed to board at 10 am so
that we arrive two hours before the concert. The way I
was so excited, I packed yesterday. For my outfit for the
concert, everything is from the Yeezy clothing line. I
know I’m such a groupie.

It’s 9 am and we should be leaving to get Sli but Jason

pulls me to our bedroom and he starts kissing me whilst
stripping of my clothes. Like geez I just had a shower an
hour ago, we could’ve done this then.

After locking the door, he throws me on the bed and he

turns me around. He’s giving it to me from the back and
he’s so aggressive, he’s even pulling my braids.
“Jason that hurts..” I say breathlessly. I’m talking about
him pulling my braids, not his dick.
“Will you miss me?” he says pounding really fast.
“Of course I’ll..I’ll miss you..ahhhh!”
He goes harder and deeper.
“Oh God babe..fuck!” I can’t help it.
I feel it coming and I let go right away biting my bottom
lip.

I had to take a shower again, I mean I can’t travel all the

way to Amsterdam smelling of sex. We fetch Sli at her
place and we drive to the airport. We meet Hlelo and I
introduce her to Aviwe. I already introduced her to Sli in
the car.

Sli and Aviwe literally screamed when they saw that

we’re travelling by private plane. Now I’m sad that I’m
leaving my baby. I’ve been standing here in his embrace
for like 10 minutes now while the others are already in
the plane.
“B should we just leave you here?” Sli shouts popping her
head out.

I give my man one last kiss and I tell him I love him
before walking away cause I think I’m going to cry. Geez
Bulelwa you’re going away for just a few days!

I get in the plane and these bitches just stare at me. I

actually have tears in my eyes.
“You’re crying?”- Aviwe.

I look at them before we all burst out laughing. It’s just

ridiculous.

The plane takes off and our air hostess brings out the
champagne.
“Really Bulelwa? Champagne?”- Sli.
“What’s wrong with champagne?” I ask already filling up
my flute.
“Where’s the tequila?”- Sli.
“Yeah I also need something strong.”- Aviwe.
“No way. I don’t want to get wasted and then don’t
remember seeing my man Kanye.” I say.
“Well cheers to girl’s trip!” Hlelo says after we’ve all filled
our flutes.
“Whoooo!” we all scream whilst toasting. I can already
tell I’m going to have the time of my life.

---
We finally land after the looong flight which we didn’t
even feel, no these ladies are the best people to hang
with. I’m even seeing a different Hlelo today, she’s just a
ball of fun today.

We take a cab to the hotel to get ready. I must say

Amsterdam is really beautiful and I think it looks more
beautiful now at night with all the lights on.

We get to the hotel, everyone goes to their respective

rooms and I take my 3rd shower today. We’re running a
bit late and I know it’s my fault. No correction, Jason’s
fault.
I can already see Kanye performing in front of my eyes
Jesus I think I will die. Maybe I should fake-faint so he can
catch me in his arms.

---
We’re on the drive back to the hotel. The concert was
amazing! Guys I cried when he performed my favourite
songs especially Only One, that’s my favourite song with
Quinn. I’m actually still jittery inside and I have
butterflies in my tummy cause I can’t believe I saw him
with my bare eye! Like he’s real guys.

“B you’ve seen your obsession, now can we go and get

drunk?”- Sli.
“We’re definitely going to get drunk.”- Hlelo.
“Guys I can still smell his cologne in my nostrils.” I say.
“Twin same!”- Aviwe.
“No you bitches are tripping now.” Sli says and we laugh.
We really are tripping.
We get to the hotel and we gather in one room. We
order plenty of food and two bottles of tequila, we will
die of alcohol poising. Mind you, it’s after midnight.

After indulging in the food, we sit around the bed and we

start playing the ‘Never have I ever’ game. We’ll read the
statement and if you have done what the statement says,
you take a shot of tequila. And Sli wrote all of these so
you know this is going to be good.

First one- Never have I ever given a blowjob.

We all take a shot. Yes including Hlelo.
“That was easy.” I say.
“You should have let me write these questions.”- Aviwe.
“Bitch shut up!”- Sli.

2. Never have I ever had anal sex…

Sli and Aviwe take a short.
Okay.
3. Never have I ever faked an orgasm…
No one takes a shot.
“Honest bitches, I love that.” -Sli.

4. Never have I ever had a one night stand…

I’m the only one who doesn’t take a shot. So Hlelo has
had a one night stand before? Wow..
“Oh Twin let’s find you a hunk and you’ll have one
today.”- Aviwe and she sounds serious.
“No she’s not going to cheat on my brother while I’m
here.”- Hlelo. She’s right I don’t want no one night stand
mna.
“Okaaay next one please.”- Sli.

5. Never have I ever swallowed cum…

Aviwe and I take a shot.
“Yessss Twin!”- Aviwe giving me a high five.
“Twin freaks.”- Sli.
6. Never have I ever kissed another girl…
Again, I’m the only one who doesn’t take a shot. Hlelo
keeps surprising me yazi.
“Bitch whaaaaat?” that’s Sli getting close to me. “We will
end that today.” She says and she starts kissing me. I kiss
her back falling back on the bed and she gets on top of
me. Aviwe is looking at the kiss closely and she’s
counting, I don’t know what she’s counting for. The kiss
starts getting heated.

“Okay okay that’s enough!” that’s Hlelo pulling Sli back.

“Bitch you such a good kisser, I’m utterly turned on right
now.”- Sli looking at me.
“Me too.” I say. I’ve even lost my breath.
“Do you guys want me to rub your clits?”- Aviwe.
“Please…” I say turning to her.
“Bulelwa!” Hlelo brings me back to life.

We continue with the game.

7. Never have I ever cheated…
Aviwe is the only who takes a shot. Have you noticed she
has taken a shot for most of these things? My twin is
wild.
“Twin you just cheated on your man by kissing your
friend take that shot.”- Aviwe.
We all laugh and I take the shot.

8. Never have I ever had a three sum…

Sli is the only one who takes a shot. How come I didn’t
know this?
We all look at her.
“What?” she asks shrugging and then we just burst into
laughter.
No we’re drunk now.

9. Never have I ever musterbated…

Hlelo and Sli take a shot.
“You sure Aviwe?” Sli asks causing us to laugh.
“No I love the real thing.”- Aviwe.
10. Never have I ever had an abortion..
“Really skat?” I say looking at Sli.
“What? I ran out of questions.” She says.
“And you resorted to abortions.”- Hlelo shaking her head.
“Guys I’m really horny though.” I say. The alcohol has
done it again and my man is in a whole different
continent, cry with me.

“I told you we should get you a man here.”- Aviwe. Why

does she want to get me a man so much? I’m not going
to cheat on my husband to be.

“No we’re not getting any man here! Maybe this is the
right time to learn how to masterbate B..”- Hlelo.
...to be continued.
*
*
*
*
What do you think of Aviwe's character?
....Continuation.

“Teach me Hlelo.” I say.

“Ugh I need a smoke.”- Sli.
“Me too.” I say.
“B you don’t smoke.” That’s Sli taking out a box of
cigarette and she walks out to the balcony. We all follow
her.

She lights one cigarette.

“Give me that.” I say grabbing it from her hand.
“Bulelwa don’t kill yourself please.”- Hlelo.

I place the cigarette in between my lips and I pull once

before coughing my lungs out.

“Twin you okay?”- Aviwe.

“I don’t know what the hell are you doing.” That’s Sli
taking the cigarette from my hand.
How do they do this shit? I almost died.
We wait for Sli to finish smoking before going back
inside.

“Let’s play another game, it’s called the hot seat. We all
have to answer just 5 questions honestly, and if you’re
not being honest you’ll be cursed with bad sex for the
rest of your life.”- Aviwe.
“What are the questions?”- Sli.
“Okay we’ll start with wife-to-be, by the way you have to
take a shot after answering a question.”
“I swear if we don’t die today, we’ll never die.” I say.
“Okay question one twin – what’s your favourite sex
position?”- Aviwe.
“Oh that’s hard cause Jason is good with every position
but I think I like the doggy more cause that’s when he
gets real deep, you know when you feel it in your heart?”
I say and I bite my bottom lip. No guys I need my man!
“Hmm don’t make me horny please..” Hlelo says and she
crosses her legs. We all look at her and we laugh.

“On seconds thoughts, let’s stop this game.” Aviwe says

and I agree with her cause this is ain’t fun anymore, it’s
torturous.

I’ve learnt a lot about Hlelo and Aviwe through these

games. Hlelo is not as innocent as I thought and my twin
is just a wild card. She was never like this when we were
growing up but I’m not judging, I also have my wild side
that I’m still discovering.
---
I have no idea what time we fell asleep. I struggle
opening my eyes, Jesus my head is heavy. And I slept on
the one-sitter couch? I get up and I see Sli sleeping on
the floor with the empty bottle of tequila in her hand.
Wow. I look over on the bed and I see Aviwe sleeping on
the edge with her head and arms hanging off the bed.
How is she sleeping like that? She’s going to hurt her
neck.
I get up and I drag myself to Sli first and I check if she’s
still breathing, okay she’s alive. I move on to Aviwe.

“Twin sleep properly, you’ll hurt yourself.” I say trying to

shift her so her head would be on the bed. She shifts and
she turns her back on me, at least she’s sleeping properly
now.
Wait where’s Hlelo? Did she leave to sleep in her room?
Cause I honestly don’t remember.

I walk in the bathroom and I find her on the floor by the

toilet. How did she end up in here? I walk closer, oh she
was throwing up and decided to just crash in the
bathroom.

“Hlelo.” I say shaking her.

“Hmm?” she says but she’s still sleeping.
“Go and sleep on the bed babe.”
“I’m on the bed.” She says.
I laugh.
“No you’re not, come on.” I pull her up and I take her to
the bed. Now I have to carry Sli’s dead body to the bed
cause she’ll never wake up.

I drag her closer to the bed before wrapping my arms

around her waist from behind and I pull her up throwing
her on the bed. Geez where did I get so much strength?

I start searching for my phone, I need to call Jason, I miss

him. I find it in my side bag and I walk out to the balcony.
The view here is so beautiful and just refreshing. I have
to FaceTime him cause my network is obviously not
working here.

“Wifey.” He says when his face appears on my screen.

“Baby..” seeing his face just made me miss him more.
“How are you my love? How’s Amsterdam?”
“I’m not so good.”
“I can see that, wild night?” he asks.
“You have no idea, we finished two bottles of tequila and
now we’re all zombies.”
“Oh boy! Two bottles? What were you guys thinking?”
“I don’t know, you know what alcohol does to me, I
needed you so badly last night.”
“Hmm did you behave?” he says.
“I did, what do you take me for?” well besides the fact
that I made out with my friend and tried smoking a
cigarette – I think to myself.
He chuckles.
“I miss you so much MaNzimande, I couldn’t sleep last
night.”
“Baby I miss you more!”
“How did you feel seeing your crush last night?” he says.
“Hha I almost died! He asked for my numbers so we
might as well cancel our wedding.”
“I also found a new wife so please cancel everything.”
“I would kill you.” I say laughing. “ Where’s Quinn?” I
ask.
“She’s somewhere in the house, last night she asked me
why did I let you go.”
I chuckle.
“She’s going to be fine. Tell her I love her and I love you.”
“If you love me you wouldn’t have left me.”
“Clearly I don’t love you enough.”
“Yeah I see that now. So what are your plans for today?”
“Right now I just need a few hours of sleep then maybe
we can go sightseeing later.”
“Get sleep cause you look horrible.”
“Jase you’re supposed to tell me I look beautiful even
with a hangover!”
“But you don’t.”
“Okay I don’t love you anymore so bye.” I say and I drop
the call.

I get back inside and I also squeeze myself in bed with

these dead bitches. Oh Aviwe is not dead, she wraps her
arm around me and she puts her one leg on me, I hope
she doesn’t think she’s sleeping with her boyfriend but I
let her be. We booked four rooms for nothing.

---
We got up in the afternoon, they all left my room to
shower in their rooms and we took a small tour around
the city and of course we also did some shopping. I really
enjoyed my time with these ladies, this was probably the
best trip I’ve ever had and I think we should have more
of these girls’ trips in the future.

We landed in Jo’burg Sunday afternoon, we stayed in

Jason’s house for the night and then Monday morning
we went to see the designer who will be making the
bridesmaids dresses, Hlelo and Aviwe will have the same
dresses and Sli’s is slightly different but all their dresses
are long and flowy, turquoise in colour.

Monday afternoon we flew back to KZN and it was back

to business. Oh Aviwe told me she took a two weeks
leave at work but she called her manager and extended it
to a month. I was just elated cause I love having her
around, she keeps me busy during the day when Jason is
at work and the kids are at school. She said she can’t
leave S.A without getting an African dick – her words not
mine, now we have to go out on the weekend so she can
meet someone.
---
2 weeks later
Jason’s POV

I don’t usually have any problem with Bulelwa’s family

cause they like my family as well but I’ve been sensing
this weird vibe with this Aviwe. I can’t really explain it but
she doesn’t seem genuine, there’s just something about
her I don’t get but maybe my imagination is messing with
me. Bulelwa loves having her around though so I can’t
really say anything about it cause I don’t want her to
think I don’t want her sister here.

Bulelwa is currently out with Q and Bebe to get some

groceries, they left Aviwe behind cause apparently she’s
not feeling well. I’m also going somewhere though.

I grab my car keys and as I’m about to open the front

doors I hear Aviwe shouting my name behind me. I turn
around and I see her wrapped in a towel.
“I was trying to take a shower but there seems to be
something wrong cause the water is not coming out
properly, please check it out before you go.” She says.
“Use another shower, I’ll see when I come back.”
“Come on, I’m sure it’s something small it won’t even
take you a minute.” She says already walking upstairs
giving me a clear view of her ass. Why are my eyes even
going there? This is my sister in law damnit!

I leave my keys on the counter and I follow her.

I walk in her room and I go straight to the bathroom. I
open the shower and the water comes out normally. Is
this child messing with me? Cause honestly I don’t have
time for her stupid games.

“There’s nothing wrong with the-“ I stop. She’s standing

against the bedroom door which is now closed.

“You know I didn’t call you in here for the shower.” She’s
says and she drops her towel.
I gasp looking away. What the fuck is wrong with this
child?

“Cover yourself up and stop this madness.” I say still not

looking at her.
“I know you want this as much as I want it.” She says
slowly coming towards me.
“I don’t have time for your madness!” I say pushing her
aside and I walk to the door. I try to open but she has
locked it.

“Open this fucking door!” I say turning to her but she just
pushes me against the door and she kisses me. I kiss her
back for a few seconds. What the fuck am I doing? I push
her off me.

“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” I say.

Jesus the look she’s giving me right now, oh fuck it! I grab
her ass and I pin her against the door before kissing her
deeper.
*
*
*
*
Aviwe is canceled 🚮🚮
Chapter Twenty Three
Jason’s POV

I feel by body igniting, this girl really knows how to work

a man. I can feel myself growing inside my pants. She
pulls off my top and I pick her up throwing her on the
bed.

“I can’t do this to Bulelwa.” I say looking down at her.

She’s so sexy just like her sister.
“What she doesn’t know won’t kill her.” She says taking
my hand and she puts it in between her legs forcing me
to touch her. Jesus she’s so wet and hot.

“Fuck me..” she whispers so seductively.

“We have to use a condom.” I say.
“I have it.” She says and she reaches under the pillow
and comes back with it.

She starts touching my manhood over my pants causing

me to let out a groan. I rip the condom wrapper using my
teeth. Is this really worth it though? I can’t risk losing
everything I have with Bulelwa over this one lustful
moment. I can’t hurt her again, this would destroy her.
My body really wants this but I can’t, I can’t do this. I
can’t sleep with my wife’s sister. I can’t lose the woman I
love because of a few minutes of sexual pleasure.

“I can’t do this.” I say getting off her.

“Come on daddy, she won’t know. I want that beast deep
inside me.”
“Bitch stop it okay! Just stop it and open the fucking
door!”
“But I want you…don’t you want this pussy?” she says
spreading her legs wide.
God why are doing this to me? Or is it the devil testing
me? Well not today. I pick up the towel and I throw it at
her.

“Where’s the key?”

“It’s in between my legs.” She says biting her fingers
seductively.

I walk to her and I pull her up by her arm and I pin her
against the wall with my hand around her neck.
“Tell me where is the damn key?”
“Okay okay stop choking me it’s right there..” she points
at the dressing table drawer.

I let go of her and I take out the key. I pick up my T-shirt

before unlocking the door and I walk out. I walk out of
the house and I drive off. I can’t believe what almost
happened! At this point I don’t care what Bulelwa thinks,
that bitch needs to leave my house.

Bulelwa’s POV
We get home and I rush upstairs to check on Aviwe in her
room. She’s still sleeping. She’s wearing a long boob-tube
grey dress.
“Twin are you still alive?” I say.
She turns around with a smile.
“I am.” She says.
“I bought you some medication.”
“Thank you.”
“Now get up, staying in bed the whole day won’t help
you.” I say pulling her up and I drag her out of the room.

We decide to just spend the rest of Saturday afternoon

outside by the pool. You can tell Aviwe is sick, she’s not
her normal vibrant self today, she’s just quiet. Ever since
Quinn drowned she has never set her root inside the
water, she fears swimming now.

“I tried booking a flight to go back to Australia tomorrow

but all the flights are fully booked.” She says after being
quiet the whole time we’ve been chilling here.
“But I thought you were going to stay for two more
weeks.”
“Nah I need to leave now.”
“Why? Did something happen?”
“Nothing happened.”
“Are you sure? Why would you just want to leave? I love
having you here.” I say.
“I just want to go okay?” she snaps before getting up and
she walks away.

Now I’m wondering did I do something wrong or maybe I

said/did something that made her feel unwelcomed
here. But what though? Cause yesterday she was okay
telling me how much she loves being here.

I get up and I walk inside as well following her but I

realize she has locked herself up. Something definitely
happened.
“Twin please open.” I say standing outside the door.
“No one has ever rejected me, no one!”
Oh wow she’s crying. I’m assuming it’s that boyfriend of
hers she was telling me about. I don’t even know what to
say cause I don’t really know what happened.

“Uhm…can you please open, we don’t have to talk about

it I just want to give you a hug.” Honestly hearing her cry
like that breaks my heart.
“Just leave me alone Bulelwa!”

I sigh before walking away.

---
I came back to her later to check on her and bring her
dinner but she still wouldn’t open. I just hope she doesn’t
commit suicide in there.

It’s 10 pm and Jason is still not home. I try calling him but
his phone is off. I take a shower and I get in bed.

I’m just about to drift to sleep when I hear him entering

the bedroom. I switch on my side-lamp and I turn to him.
“Where are you coming from?” I ask.
“I was with my friends.”
“And you didn’t see the need to call me and let me
know?”
“My phone ran out of battery.” He says.
“Really Jason?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.” He says and he
just walks in the bathroom. A minute later I hear water
running in the shower.
I switch off my side lamp again and I close my eyes.

---
I get up in the morning and I go for a shower. Jason joins
me but I don’t say anything to him, I just carry on with
what I’m doing and I leave him there after rinsing the
foam off my body. I just hate the double-standards he
has. Like he expects me to report everywhere I go and
call him every now and then, and when he can’t reach
me on my phone he gets really furious. But when he does
it it’s suddenly not a problem?
I get dressed and I attempt to leave the room but he
stops me.
“Can we talk?” he says.
“We can do that later, I need to check on Aviwe.” I say.
“It’s about her.” He says.

Okay.

“What about her?”

“When is she leaving?”
“I don’t know, why would you ask me that?”
“I’m just asking cause she’s been here for a while now.”
“Do you have a problem with her being here?” I ask.
“No but this is not a hotel Bulelwa, we can’t have people
just coming to stay here with us.”
“Really Jason? You want my sister to go and stay at a
hotel when there’s plenty of room here? Now I get why
she wants to leave, did you say something to her?”
“I didn’t say anything to her but we need our space, I can
pay for the hotel if she doesn’t have the money.”
“So you’re really kicking my sister out? Wow! This makes
me wonder if Babalwa would be staying with us if she
wasn’t your sister.”
“Don’t bring her into this Bulelwa.”
“I actually can’t believe you right now, so much for this
being “our” house.” I say and I walk out slamming the
door behind me.
I never expected Jason would do something like this, it’s
not like him. He has never had a problem with anyone
visiting us no matter how long they stay. Or maybe he
never has a problem because it’s usually his sisters who
visit.

I go to Aviwe’s room and I knock.

“It’s opened.” She says.
I open and I walk in. She has taken a shower already.
“Hey...” I say.
“Hey I’m sorry about yesterday.”
“Don’t apologize, how you feeling?” I ask.
“Better I guess.”
“Can we go downstairs to have breakfast?”
“Yeah, sure.” She says grabbing her phone and we walk
out.

We go to the kitchen and I take out the things I’ll use to

make breakfast.
“Do you want help?” she says.
“If you don’t mind.” I say.
“Ugh of course I don’t mind. Where’s your hubby?”
“He’s in our room I think.” I say placing the frying pan on
the stove.
“Hmm. Twin can I ask you something?”
“Mhm?”
“Is he abusive? I mean physically?”

Where is this coming from?

“No he’s not. Why would you ask me that?”

“I don’t know, he just comes across as a person with
anger issues.”
“What makes you say that?” are these people hiding
something from me?
“It’s just a vibe I’m getting but maybe I’m imagining
things. But twin please promise me you’d never stay in
an abusive relationship because of love, I’ve been there
and trust me it’s the worst thing you can ever do to
yourself.”
“Jason is not abusive, he’s a gentleman.”
“If he’s not abusive then I’m happy you’re marrying him
cause I know he’s also faithful to you.” She says like she’s
sure he doesn’t cheat.

I place the bacon on the hot pan and the smell just
suffocates my nose.
“Oh God is this bacon off?” I say moving my face away
and I check the expiry date on the packet, it’s not off.
“I looks fresh, why do you say that?”- Aviwe.
“Can’t you smell that horrible smell? I think I’m going to
throw up.” I say placing my hand over my mouth and I
run to the bathroom downstairs.
I come back and I ask Aviwe to just throw away all that
bacon cause I think they put a wrong expiry date there,
I’m not crazy.

We all have breakfast at the dining table, I can actually

sense the tension between Jason and Aviwe. Jason is
really putting me in an awkward position hey? I’m not
going to chase my sister out of this house, he can go to
hell!

---
Two days passed without him bringing up that topic and I
thought he just let it go. We just had our gym session and
we now taking a shower.

“Bulelwa you remember what we spoke about regarding

your sister staying here.”
“Jason please not today.” I say.
“I was serious Bulelwa, she can’t stay here any longer,
you need to do something about it.”
“If you chase my sister out then I’m leaving with her.” I
say and I get out of the shower closing the shower door
but I open it again.

“And please get me chicken nuggets before you go to

work.” I say and I close it again. I crave chicken nuggets
dipped in peanut butter for breakfast. I don’t know how
my mind came up with that combination but I’m craving
it.
*
*
*
*
Quite short I know and I'm sorry, it's a hectic week but I'll
make it up tomorrow. 💕
….short continuation. 💕

I’m going to LA this weekend to get my dresses and I’ve

decided I’m going to ask Aviwe to accompany me since
Jason doesn’t want her here anyway. I honestly don’t
know what his issue is with my sister cause now he can’t
even pretend to like her.

I’m in the kitchen but I can hear whispering coming from

the passageway. I leave what I’m doing and I go there to
check who is whispering in my house. I first peek and I
see Jason choking Aviwe against the wall. Haibo is this
man crazy?

“Bitch if you don’t leave my house today I’m going to tell

Bulelwa-“
“Tell me what Jason?” I barge in. They both freeze and
they look at me.
“What is going on here?” I ask again.
“Babe it’s nothing.” Jason says letting her go.
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing! Aviwe what is going on?”
“I.. I…” she starts stuttering and then she just burst into
tears.
“Yeah tell her how you locked me in your room and tried
to seduce me to sleep with you and how you tried kissing
me just now.” He says.
My mouth immediately goes dry. I’m not sure if I’m more
shocked or more angry or more hurt or if I actually
believe my ears right now.
“Is that true?” I ask looking at Aviwe and she just
releases more tears.
“I’m asking you a question!” I raise my voice a bit and I
turn Jason. “Did you sleep with her?”
“You think I’d do something like that to you?” he says.

I remember when she was crying she said no man has

ever rejected her, and she also said she knows Jason is
faithful to me which means he really did not sleep with
her.

I see aunt Patty walking past carrying a broom.

“Give me that.” I say grabbing the broom from her hand.
“Come here wena sfebe! I’m going to teach you a lesson
today!” I say marching to that whore but Jason tries to
stop me by grabbing my arm.
“Let go of my arm wena!” I scream.
I’m going to teach this bitch a lesson she’ll never forget,
after today she’ll never mess with anyone’s man. This is
beyond betrayal!

“Twin please don’t hurt me I’m sorry..” she cries. Her

tears don’t faze me at all nx crocodile tears!

“Twin yamasimba!” I say and I hold the broom with both

my hands and I start whipping her. She keeps trying to
duck.

“Witch I trusted you and this is what you do to me?

You’re a whore like your mother!” I continue hitting her
but avoiding hitting her on the head.
Damn when did I become such a hood rat? I never
thought I’d ever hit someone like this, especially because
of a man.

“Jason please stop her she’s going to kill me..” she

pleads, she’s now on the floor.
Jason must dare try to stop me, this broom will turn to
him.

“I invite you to my house kanti I’m inviting isfebe!”

As I’m hitting her I feel myself getting dizzy and I stop. I

drop the broom on the floor and I place my hands on
waist trying to recover my strength.

“Baby you okay?” that’s the last thing I hear before

seeing starts in the air and then blackout!

---
I keep hearing this annoying beeping sound and it just
keeps going on. Whatever it is can they switch it off
please! I try opening my eyes but the light just pierce
through them causing me to shut them immediately.

“You’re awake.” I hear Jason’s voice and I feel him

squeezing my hand. Kanti where am I? This annoying
sound is still playing in my ears. I open my eyes slowly
this time and I look around. I’m lying on a hospital bed,
how the hell did I get here? Am I sick?

I look to my side and I see Jason sitting next to the bed

and he’s holding my hand. Why is he grinning? Seeing me
on a hospital bed amuses him?

“What am I doing here?” I ask cause I don’t feel any pain

and I’m not feeling sick.
“You don’t remember what happened my broom
woman?” he says laughing.
“It’s not funny.” I say.
I remember hitting that slut with a broom but how did I
end up in hospital?
“Babe I’ve never seen you acting like that, I was even
scared to stop you. And to think you were fighting for
me, I’m feeling myself right now.”
I just shake my head.
“Where is she?” I ask.
“I left her in the house when I rushed you here and I told
her she better be gone when we return.”
“So me hitting her caused me to end up in hospital?”
He starts grinning again.
“What?”
“Well this little human didn’t like the fact that mommy
was hitting someone so she or he decided to take you
out.” He says touching my stomach.

What the fuck is he talking about?

“Are you okay in your head?”

“You’re pregnant babe, we’re having a baby!” He says.
“Who told you that?”
“The doctor did the tests and I asked him to run the tests
twice and he did and confirmed that we’re expecting. It’s
real this time.”

I’m pregnant. Wow.

“Yazi you are so selfish Jason, you know how hard I’ve
worked to keep my body in shape for my wedding and
you just decided to knock me up now?”
“Bathong baby..” he says widening his eyes.
“Please leave this room before I call on security for you.”
“Haibo Bulelwa-“
“I said get out!” I scream.
“Okay…” he says getting up and he walks out with his
eyes glued to me, he looks freaked out.

I can’t believe he did this to me and he has the nerve to

be happy about it? We having the wedding in a couple of
weeks, couldn’t he have waited? I swear if my dresses
don’t fit I’m going to kill him with my bare hands.

“I’m not mad at you baby, I’m mad at your stupid

father.” I say placing my hand on my tummy.

So I’m actually pregnant? For real this time? Even though

the timing is wrong I’m still happy about it. I wonder how
far am I?
“I guess I’m not having my honeymoon, you’ll be my
honeymoon right?” I say still caressing my tummy.

---
So I’m 4 weeks pregnant.. By the time the wedding
comes I’ll be 8 weeks and there’s nothing we can do
about it, we can’t postpone the wedding when we’ve
sent out invitations and everything is almost done. I’ve
invited a few of my family members from Eastern Cape
and some of my family members from my dad’s side of
the family and just my pastor and his wife. Lucky for me
my circle is small. As for Aviwe being my bridesmaid, I’ve
decided to replace her with Babalwa. I don’t ever want to
see that whore again, she’s back in Australia and she
sends me texts every day apologizing. I don’t know why I
haven’t blocked her number. She now knows we have
the same father and she wants us to talk about it but I
really got nothing to say to her.

I’ve fetched my dresses and both fit perfectly – for now.

I’ve been eating greens only since I found out I was
pregnant to avoid gaining any weight. Both my dresses
are breathtaking but I think I’ll go with the mermaid
dress. I told the designer I wanted something sexy but
elegant at the same time and he did just what I had in
mind – what I’ve always pictured myself getting married
in. It’s a skin tight mermaid dress with a long trail. It has
long sleeves that are lace – it’s just exquisite and worth
every rand I paid for it. No I’m not going to tell you how
much we spent on just my dresses cause I know you’re
going to judge me.

Today I’m going to the florist to chose my bouquet with

Sli, the wedding planner will handle the rest of the
flowering for the big day. I told her about Aviwe and she
thinks I should’ve stabbed her. And no she wasn’t joking.

“Skat you’re glowing yaz, I’ve never seen you this

beautiful.” She says as we’re walking around looking at
different flowers. She doesn’t know I’m pregnant, no one
knows.

“You think?”
“Yeah I bet it’s all that sperm you swallow, I heard it has
good nutrients.” She says loudly causing the young florist
assistant to giggle. Sli though.

“Anyhuuuuuu guess who I bumped into the other day?”

“Who?”
“Your boyfriend.” She says.
“You need to stop calling him my boyfriend now, it’s my
husband.”
“I’m not talking about Jason.”

Oh I have another boyfriend?

“Who are you talking about?”

“Khaya.”
“What? You’re kidding right? Where did you see him?”

I think I’ve told you guys about Khaya a while back.

Honestly is there anything you guys don’t know about my
life? Y’all know all my business and I don’t like that. I bet
if I cheated you guys would be the first people to know –
not that I’m planning on cheating. Anyway Khaya is the
only guy I’ve ever kissed other than Jason and baby
daddy.

“I saw him at the mall, he still looks good as hell! He

asked me about you and I told him you’re getting
married in a few weeks.”
“I hope you invited him to the wedding.” I say.
“Haibo B is it my wedding? But he gave me his number
and asked me to pass them to you cause I refused to give
him your number.”
“Why did you refuse?”
“Bitch you want me to get in trouble with your man?”
“How will you get in trouble cause he’s just an old friend?
Jason is not a psycho.”
“He’s not just an old friend. He’s an old friend that you
went on a couple of dates with and even kissed, he’s
basically your ex.”

Lol trust me guys he’s not my ex, she’s crazy.

“No he’s not my ex, we were never a couple. Please give
me his number, I want to invite him to the wedding.”
“You sure?”
“Come on Sli..”
“Okay…” she says taking out her phone and she hands it
to me after unlocking it and finding Khaya's number.

I’ve picked my bouquet arrangement and the flower

halos for my flowers girls, that is Quinn and Kuchi.
Tomorrow we’re going for cake tasting then we also have
to check out the guy’s tuxedos, it’s a lot nje. We got a
traditional wedding planner to handle the Sotho wedding
which means less stress.
*
*
*
*
Guys writer's block is real this side, I need to read
something to get my mind functioning again. I also have
flu so that also has its own impact. 😭😤 I trust you
guys will forgive me. 😞🙏🏻
Chapter Twenty Four
Wedding Bells 🎊😍

I wake up in my hotel room feeling tons of emotions at

once. Today is the day. I roll out of bed putting on the
hotel robe and I open the sliding door that leads to the
balcony. I walk out and the fresh morning breeze just hits
my face. The sun is slowly rising, mother nature is with us
since we’re having a garden wedding on the other side of
this beautiful hotel.

I’m just standing here looking at this gorgeous view

whilst trying to make sense of everything playing in my
mind. Yesterday I had a chat with one of my aunts from
Eastern Cape who came for the wedding. She’s been
married for 40 years now and she was very honest with
me. Everything we talked about made me realize
marriage is not all that glitters that we see on the
surface, it’s real and it’s hard. She made me question if
I’m actually ready for this? If I’m ready for the biggest
commitment of my life? If I’m ready to become
someone’s wife not only by words but by actions as well.
And right now to be honest with you I don’t know and
I’m super stressed.

“Do you think I should marry your father?” I say placing

my hand on my tummy. I’m happy my baby behaved and
she or he isn’t showing yet otherwise I would’ve been
forced to wear the Cinderella dress – it’s beautiful too
but I like my mermaid dress more.

I hear a knock on my door as I’m still standing here. I

wonder who is that. I make my way to open. Oh it’s Sli.

“Oh good you’re awake, I came to wake you up. Don’t

tell me you haven’t showered?” She says.

I see she has taken her shower but she’s wearing her
pink silk robe written “maid of honor” at the back. Hlelo
and Babalwa also have theirs written bridesmaid, mine is
a different colour – white and obviously written bride.
“Sli I’m scared.” I say.
“I know you’re scared of people, I’ll get you a shot and
you’ll be fine.”
“I’m not talking about people, I’m scared of all this, do
you think I’m ready for this? Am I going to be a good
wife?” My anxiety is on another level today.
“Bitch you’ll make a bomb wife, that man of yours is
lucky. I can’t tell you if you’re ready or not, only your
heart knows that.”

I start biting my bottom lip.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet?” she says.

“No I’m just anxious, Jason hasn’t even called me today,
what if he doesn’t show up?”

By the way he’s at the house with his groomsmen –

Loyiso and his other friend from Jo’burg, and some of his
family members. Some of my family members that are
travelling from far are at my complex and some are
booked here at this hotel.

“I’m sure he’s busy with something. Take a shower if you

don’t want to miss your own wedding. I’ll meet you at
the cabin.” She says attempting walk out but I stop her.

“Sli thank you.” I say.

“Hmm?”
“Thank you for always being there for me.” I say.

She smiles and she walks back to me and she gives me a

tight hug.

“I love you.” I say.

“I love you too, ugh let me leave you before you make
me cry.” She says and she let’s go of me before walking
out.
I take a shower and I also put on my bride robe. I get a
call from Jason as I was about to go out to the cabin
where we’ll get ready.

“Hmm?” I say as I place the phone on my ear.

“Ouch is that a way of answering to your soon to be
husband?”
“You didn’t call me last night and this morning.”
“I’m sorry my love. How did you sleep?”
“I don’t think I actually slept, did you behave last night?”
“I behaved a little.”
“Just a little?” I ask.
“Yeah. How are you feeling today?”
“I’m nervous Jase. Aren’t you nervous?”
“Not at all, I’m on top of the world. I feel like dancing on
the roof in my underwear.”
“Mxm you so stupid.”
He chuckles.
“Uhm babe I actually have a confession to make.” He
says.
“What?”
“I invited your mother to the wedding.”

Oh no he didn’t!

“Jason why would you do that when you know how I feel
about that woman?”
“She’s your mother.”
“You know I’m starting to think sometimes you do things
to deliberately annoy me.” I say and I drop the call.
Why the fuck would he invite that woman to my
wedding? After everything she has put me through?

I leave my hotel room with just my phone and my

keycard, geez when I come back here I’ll be officially Mrs
Lekoane. Surreal! Another thing stressing me are my
vows. I don’t know what was I thinking telling my pastor I
want to say my own vows cause I tried writing them and
got stuck so I guess I’ll say whatever’s in my heart at that
moment, even if I feel like cursing him, I will do that.
I find all my girls in the cabin including Reneilwe and
Kamo - she came from London with her husband and her
son. Seeing her and Babalwa in the same room, even a
person who doesn’t know would tell you they’re siblings.
Babalwa is a petite version of Kamo.

I walk in and they all scream. Like so much drama for

what?
“Mommy!” That’s Quinn sitting on a chair and one of the
hairstylists is straightening her bushy hair – this is
actually the first time she’s straightening her hair and I
don’t know how I feel about it. The other hairstylist is
doing Kuchi's hair. No one is ready so I don’t know why
Sli was rushing me.

“Hey baby.” I say.

“Mommy do you like my hair?” she says.
“Err..you look different.” She really does. Beautiful but
different.
“I look like a princess.” She says.
“Cause you are a princess, my princess.” I say and I place
a kiss on her cheek.

We have like 2 hours and no one has done their hair or

make-up, well the make-up artists are running a bit late.
Kamo gave them a call and they said they are on the way.

“Here, your man wants to talk to you.” That’s Hlelo

handing me her phone.
“No I don’t want to talk to him.” I say looking away.
“You guys are fighting on your wedding day? Wow.”- Sli.
“You don’t know what he did.” I say.

My babies are done with their hair and they look super
cute. Quinn suddenly looks like…… never mind. Hlelo and
Babalwa are doing their make-up now while Sli and I are
doing our hair. For my hairstyle, they just going to style
up my new weave in an up-do look since my dress has
long sleeves.
2 hours later everyone is done and looking beautiful as
hell. I’m really happy with how everyone looks. I’ve done
my hair and make-up but I’m still in my robe. If you look
out from the cabin you can actually see where the
wedding will take place and Sli told me people have
started arriving and my bp literally rised to a hundred
and my tummy has been a zoo of butterflies since I woke
up.

“I just spoke to Lisebo and they’re on their way now so

you better get dressed.” Kamo says already taking my
dress. I need like 3 people to help me get into this very
tight dress.
Luckily the dress still fits. After putting on my shoes, the
hairstylist helps me with the Vail, I’m not going to cover
myself though for obvious reasons.

I take a look at myself on the full length mirror for the

first time and I’m blown away. Like I can’t believe this is
me. I look like a sexy but elegant bride – exactly how I
wanted to look. My waist looks so tiny I swear I’m not
pregnant.
“Bitch you look so gorge!”- Sli.
“I know right, she looks like she just walked out of a
bridal magazine.”- Hlelo.
“Guys stop! Babalwa where’s my bouquet?” I say.
“I don’t know.” She says with no care whatsoever. Why
did I make her my bridesmaid?

My pastor’s wife walks in and she greets everyone before

coming to me.
“Oh my baby you look so beautiful.” She says giving me a
hug. She looks good as well – the pastor’s wife always
looks good.
“Thank you.” I say.
“They’re here.” Sli whispers to my ear but I ignore her
just to ignore my nerves as well.
“Now you remember what we spoke about?” the
pastor’s wife says taking my hands and I nod yes.
“You keep it at that and you’ll have a beautiful marriage.”
She says with a smile and I just smile back.
I’m supposed to be having this last chat with my mom,
she’s supposed to be here with me right now. Ugh I
quickly brush that thought off my mind.

“Can we all join our hands for a prayer.” She says and we
all join our hands in a circle and we bow our heads.
She leads us in a short prayer, well not short but I’m also
praying with my heart asking God to lead this ceremony
and that everything goes well.

“We ask all this in the mighty Name of Jesus Christ,

Amen.” She finally says after like 10 minutes, that time
we’re already running like 30 minutes late.

I can hear the music has started playing and I just want to
cry. Babalwa joked earlier and told the make-up artist to
put waterproof make-up on me cause they all know I’m
going to cry. Uncle Muzi is already here to walk me down
the aisle.
“Okay girl we have to leave you now, don’t keep my
brother waiting for too long. Good luck.” That’s Kamo
giving me a kiss on my cheek.
“Thank you.” I say. And she walks out with Reneilwe.

The song for the bridesmaids starts playing and I turn to

Sli trying to hold back my tears.
“Don’t you dare start with your tears!” she warns.
I look up and I blink a few times.

I watch as my bridesmaids walk down the aisle. The place

looks gorgeous by the way, I knew my wedding planners
wouldn’t disappoint me.

“I have to go. I love you.” Sli says to me giving me a hug.

“I love you too.”
I actually don’t want her to go but she has to.

I watch as she walks down the aisle and then my babies

in their white dresses sprinkling flower petals on the red
carpet with baby Johnny (Kamo's son) walking between
them carrying a small black board written “here comes
the bride” with white chalk. He’s a little shorter than the
girls which makes it even more cute.

“You ready?” Uncle Muzi asks handing me my bouquet.

“I’m not.” I say.

My hands are sweaty and I feel like I’m going to throw

up. I can’t believe this moment has come. Everyone will
be looking at me, Jesus why didn’t we just get married at
Home Affairs? And why didn’t I take that shot Sli offered
me?

“Come on, we have to go now. Trust me you’ll be fine

when you see your husband.” My uncle says.
I take a few deep breaths before walking out. He helps
me with the trail of my dress as I walk down the few
steps of this cabin before taking my sweaty hand. The
piano starts playing. Wait this is not the song we agreed
on!
Someone starts singing and that is definitely Jason’s
voice.

“From the way you smile, to the way you look

You capture me unlike no other
From the first hello, yeah that’s all it took
And certainly we had each other
Know I won’t leave you
Always be true
One plus one is two for life…”

I look up and I see him sitting by the piano, my eyes just

zoom into his face and he has this huge grin as he’s
singing. I can’t hold my tears any longer. I’m actually not
worried about all these people watching me as I walk
slowly with my uncle by my side, my eyes are just glued
to him.

“So don’t ever think I need more..

I’ve got the one to live for..
No one else will do,
Yeah I’m telling you..
Just put your heart in my hands
I promise it won’t get broken
We’ll never forget this moment
It will stay brand new
Cause I’ll love you over and over again”

He continues singing whilst getting up and he meets us

by the altar.
“You so beautiful.” He whispers wiping my tears with his
hand before standing besides me and we face the pastor
standing before us.

Everyone takes their seat and it becomes quiet. The

pastor clears his throat before starting.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of

God and in the presence of friends and family to unite
Jason and Bulelwa in holy matrimony, which is
commended to be an institute of God and therefore is
not to be entered into unadvisedly or carelessly but
reverently, joyfully and in the name of God. If there’s
anyone who objects this union, may they speak now or
forever hold their peace…”

Someone starts couching causing us to all turn to them.

Oh no the devil is definitely testing me today! What the

hell is she doing here?
I look at Jason and his face looks tense. I try to remain
calm.

It becomes silent again and pastor continues.

“Who hands the bride to the groom?” he asks.

“I do.” Uncle Muzi says getting up and he sits again.

The pastor tells the story of how he knew me since I was

an infant, how he baptized me when I was just a year old
and then watched me grow and bloom into this
phenomenal woman and how he’s honored to conduct
my wedding today.

He then opens the bible and he reads a few scripts about

marriage, he prays and then he tells us to face each other
and join our hands. I hand my bouquet to Babalwa and
he takes both my hands in his hands. I’m actually
avoiding eye-contact with him.

“You know couples of today, they told me straight up

they want to say their own vows, they don’t need my
help.” The pastor jokes and everyone laughs whilst my
heart rate picks up. Why did I say that cause I definitely
need his help now.

He asks for the rings and little Johnny steps forward and
hands the rings to him. He’s just so cute! The pastor
blesses the rings before handing my ring to Jason.

“You are going to say your vows and at the end you will
say ‘with this ring I thee wed' and slide the ring on her
finger. I want you to look into her eyes as you say your
vows.” He says.

Jason clears his throat and he looks into my eyes taking

my left hand.

“My love, I bring myself to you this day to share my life

with you. Today I acknowledge my love for you and invite
you to share my life as I hope to share yours.
You are not the air that I breathe, you are the sweet
scent that drifts upon it.
You are not the sounds that I hear, you are the music of
my life.
You are not the food that I need, you are the
nourishment of my soul.
You are not my will to survive, you are my reason for
living.
It is with you that I experience the wonders of the world.
It is with you that I triumph over the challenges in my
path.
It is your partnership that will lead me to the fulfillment
of my dreams.
It is your friendship that guides me as I grow and learn.
It is your patience and wisdom that calms my restless
nature.
It is through you that I know my true self…” he pauses
and he sniffs, he’s crying again and I also have my own
tears rolling down my face.

He continues.

“Today I offer you my unconditional love, I offer you my

strength, I offer you my weaknesses. I offer you my
support, I offer you my loyalty, I offer you my faith. I
promise to love you, protect you, be with you forever
and cherish every moment as if it were the last moment
on earth. With this ring let it be known that over every
other person in the world I could be with, I choose you. I
choose you know in front of everyone and I will choose
you in the privacy of our hearts. Let it be known that I’m
promising to be here for you for all eternity, even death
won’t do us part. And can I also add that...” He pauses
again and he leans to my ear. “Having sex with you has
been my biggest highlight of our relationship.” He
whispers.

“Jase..” I say pushing him a bit. Why are these people

laughing cause they didn’t hear what he just said. I think
the pastor heard though.

He looks into my eyes again with a smirk.

“I love you so much and with this ring I thee wed.” he
says and he slides the stunning ring on my finger.

People start cheering and ululating, like why celebrate so

early? What if I change my mind?
Those vows were beautiful, well besides that last stupid
part. He has put me under pressure and I still don’t even
know what I’m going to say, my mind is literally blank
and I’m shitting myself.

The pastor then hands Jason’s ring to me. I take his left
hand and I look into his eyes before starting.
“As I stand here before you, my eyes looking so deeply
into yours, I see all of the things I fell in loves with.
As I stand here before you, my heart beating so loudly in
my ears, I find myself so lost for the right words to say.
As I stand here before you with this ring in my hand, it
reminds of how complete you make my life. With every
smile, every embrace, every tear you’ve ever wiped from
my face…” I pause and I swallow the lump in my throat.

“It reminds me how blessed I really am, how I can’t ever

thank the Lord above enough for allowing you into my
life… it makes me remember every laugh we’ve ever
shared, every hard time we made through and every
beautiful moment we’ve had...” I’m just speaking in my
crying voice now, I really tried to hold it guys.

“Mommy you crying.” Quinn blurts out causing everyone

to laugh.
“I’m happy baby.” I say with a smile before fixing my eyes
back on Jason.
“Today I give you this ring along with my heart and soul. I
give you everything that I am. I promise to love you in
good times and in bad, when life seems easy and when it
seems hard. When our love is simple and when it is an
effort. I promise to respect you, to take care of you, to
cherish you, to honor you and to always hold you in
highest regard. These things I give to you today and all
the days of our life.. with...this ring… I thee wed.” I slide
the ring in his finger. God my tears are the biggest
betrayer, I’m a mess right now.

The clapping and ululating again.

“We will now do the candle light ceremony.”- The pastor.

They give each of us a candle and the pastor lights our

candles and then we walk over to the stand on the side
and we light one candle together with our candles, now
our lives have been made one. They ululate again. I look
at Jason with a smile and he decides to peck my lips.
“Not yet! I haven’t pronounced you husband and wife.”
Pastor jokes causing the people to laugh.

As we walk back to stand in our positions, I steal a glance

where I spotted Katlego earlier – yeah she’s the one who
coughed but I don’t see her anymore.

“Jason and Bulelwa, by the power invested in me, I now

pronounce you husband and wife in the name of the
Father, the Son and the Holy spirit. You may now kiss
your bride.”

He smirks and before pulling me closer by my waist and

he tries to kiss me but I duck and I give him a hug in
stead.

“Bulelwa my child show these people that this is your

husband now.”- pastor. Gosh!

Jason leans in again and he starts kissing me. These

people are celebrating again, I swear they will leave here
with no voices. Why does this feel like it’s my first time
kissing him ever? I pull back cause I’m a bit embarrassed
now.

I am officially Mrs Lekoane, geez can someone pinch me

and tell me that I’m dreaming cause this is just surreal.
….to be continued.
……Continuation. 💕

The matrimonial ceremony was over. People came to

congratulate us, even his mom – I still feel some type of
way about her. My mom also tried speaking to me but I
gave her a cold shoulder and Jason wasn’t happy about
that. Oh and I was so happy to see Khaya actually came,
he came with his ugly girlfriend. No I’m joking guys, she’s
pretty. Anyway… We took some pictures before getting
in the cars to take us to the reception hall. It’s also in the
premises of this hotel but you still have to drive there.

We get there but we remain in the car waiting for every

to get in first.
“You look so handsome in this tuxedo.” I say.
“And you’re squashing my baby in this tight dress.” He
says touching my stomach and he kisses it.
“I’m not. It looks tight but I’m free.” I say placing my
hand on his cheek, I want to kiss him but ke this driver
here! We’re both sitting in the backseat of the white
Maserati.

“When can we go and see him or her?”

“Jase today is about us, can we not talk about the baby?”
“You never told me you love me.” He says.
“What? I just declared my love for you in front of
everyone!”
“But you never said you love me.”

Sigh.

“I love you.” I say.

“Thank you.” He says with that smile or smirk or grin, I
don’t know. There’s just this twinkle in his eyes today
that I’ve never seen before. I just look in his eyes also
grinning my face off. I’ve never been this happy in my
life, on a scale of 1 to 10 I’m at a 100. Like this man right
here is my husband! He belongs to me and no one else!

I see Sli coming towards the car with the make-up artist
and she opens the door.
“Should I tell everyone that you guys just decided to have
your reception in the car?” she says whilst the make-up
artist is quickly retouching my make-up. I ask her to also
remove the veil pinned in my head.

“Skat help me get out of this car.”

She helps me out of the car and she fixes the dress trail.

“Your bum bum is all out, why are you showing everyone
my assets?” Jason says touching my butt.
I roll my eyes.
The whole bridal squad makes their entrance living my
husband and I behind. I don’t know what the hell is going
on in there but I’m hearing a lot of noise.

“We’re going to dance now.” He says taking my hand.

“As if you know how to dance.”
“I got moves baby.”

The music stops playing.

“Now if we could all just stand and celebrate with our
lovely couple as they enter the hall.”- the MC.

Our song starts playing, he takes my hand and he

squeezes it. We start walking in. Oh My God! This Décor!
You can’t even tell that this is a hall cause it’s covered
everywhere. The white draping is covering the whole
ceiling and then it goes down covering the walls. The
people are seated on the two long tables on either side
of the hall and there’s a white carpet on the open space
for us to go through. Right on the front is our table and
there’s like a waterfall on one side of our table – yes a
real waterfall inside a hall, and there’s a cake stand on
the other side. There are chandeliers on the tables, gosh
this place looks like heaven. Everything is white with a
touch of silver like how I wanted. These people really
outdid themselves, my wedding is Top Billing worthy.

We walk in dancing, no not really dancing, we’re just

moving to the music and he keeps spinning me around.
At least I’m not crying now, I’m all smiles.

We finally get to our table and he helps me climb the few

steps. We settle down and the MC continues with the
program. He first calls on Jason’s best man (not Loyiso) to
give a speech which takes like 5 minutes.

The MC then calls on Sli for her speech. She gets up from
the bridesmaids and groomsmen's table and she takes
the mic. She doesn’t look scared at all.

“Hi everyone… uhm.. I want to start off by thanking you

all for making the trip from near or far to celebrate
Bulelwa and Jason’s special day. By the way my name is
Slindile, I am the maid of honor and best friend to the
bride. B and I have been friends since high school. I know
everything about her and she knows everything about
me, basically she’s like a sister to me. Bulelwa has always
been a very delicate, passionate yet strong person. I will
never forget the night we met Jason – her now
husband.” She pauses and she turns to us.
“Should I tell them how you guys met?”

I look at Jason who is busy grinning and I shake my head.

She can’t tell them I was drunk when I met him.

“With elders here I probably shouldn’t. But I will tell you

that I actually forced my friend to go on her first date
with Jason so basically none of this would have
happened if it wasn’t for me, yes Jason you’re welcome.”
She says causing the people to laugh.

“But Jason thank you. Thank you for making m friend so

happy, in all the years that I’ve known her, I’ve never
seen her as happy as when she is with you. Thank you for
loving her the way you do. You two have taught me that
true love does exist. I’ve witnessed your love blossom
even through trials and tribulations that you guys have
faced. I hope you continue to make her happy and please
take care of her cause she means the world to me. Love
and respect her always and forever.”

She then looks at me.

“My skat, this man is lucky to have you. You are such an
amazing woman and I hope you continue to be even in
your marriage. Respect your husband, take care of him
like you vowed to. Keep him happy, we all know you suck
in the kitchen so your strongest points should be in the
bedroom. Always keep it spicy, don’t just lie there like a
dead chicken and let him do all the work, be active! Get
on top…”

I hear some elders saying “haibo!”. She pauses and she

gives them the “seriously?” look before continuing. I’m
trying so hard not to laugh right now.
“As I was saying, it must always be lit in the bedroom,
and not just the bedroom – sometimes do it in the
kitchen or anywhere when you’re alone in the house. I
wish you guys nothing but the best as you begin this new
journey together. And friend always remember I love you
very much. Thank you.” She says and she hands the mic
back to the MC.

I mouth “I love you too” to her.

The waiters come out and they serve the starters. Lol
Jason’s eyes when they bring our plates.

“Bathong baby are we really serving black people this on

our wedding? What is this?” he says and I laugh.
“It’s just a starter babe, it’s salmon.” I say.

They put a small piece of salmon in the middle of a huge

white plate with a leaf and a tiny transparent dip bowl
with some sauce placed on the plate. I didn’t think this
through, maybe I should’ve chosen a different menu
because I don’t think the elders will be happy with this.

The MC then calls on Kamo for the toast.

“Greetings to all, I’m Kamogelo the groom’s younger

sister. I’m not here to make a speech, I’m here to make a
toast but before that I’d like to give our beautiful couple
a piece of advise coming from me, a woman who has
been married for a couple of years now.. Love isn’t
perfect, it isn’t always a fairytale and it doesn’t always
come easy. Love is overcoming obstacles, facing
challenges, fighting to be together, holding on and never
letting go. You are two special, remarkable people but
together you are complete. As you sit side by side
through this rollercoaster of life, remember to scream
from the peaks, hold hands through the dips, laugh
through the loop and enjoy every twist and turn. My
greatest wish for the two of you is that your love
deepens and grows through the years. Take time to talk
to each other, put your love and your family first, and
your job and hobbies second.
Now I’d like to ask everyone to stand and raise their
glasses for a toast to the happy couple.
May your love be like wind, strong enough to move the
clouds, soft enough to never hurt but always never
ending. So here’s to love, joy, laughter, and happily ever
after. I love you both so much!” she says and everyone
clicks their glasses cheering whilst I turn to my husband
and we share a short kiss.

The people settle down again and the MC says the

Lekoane sisters have a little surprise for me and I see
them placing 4 mics in the front so I already know they
going to sing, but why 4 mics cause it’s only 3 of them?
Jason gets up too, oh is he also a “Lekoane sister”?
Kamo and Reneilwe get up from their seats and Hlelo
gets up from the bridesmaid's table. They stand by the
mics but Jason sits by the piano. I see Kamo walking to
the bridesmaid’s table and she pulls Babalwa up.
Babalwa doesn’t look happy about this, I actually want to
tell Kamo to leave her if she doesn’t want to do it. But
she takes the forth mic anyway and Jason starts playing
the piano. I know this song, it’s Whitney Houston – I
Have Nothing.
Reneilwe starts singing with her sweet voice, I just love
how she’s singing and smiling at the same time. Kamo
sings the bridge, her voice is a bit deepish but still
amazing, and then Babalwa hits the chorus with her
smooth angelic voice, even the people are saying “Mm”.
They continue singing taking turns on each verse, geez
that high note from Hlelo just gave me goosebumps.
These girls have pipes – all of them. I’m thinking when
the hell did they rehearse this? The song ends with
Babalwa also smiling now with her sisters.

It was time for me to say my speech, God why did I agree

to do this?
They bring the mic to me and I get up but I just stand by
my seat.

“I’d love to greet everyone who is here with us today. I’m

not really good with public speaking so uhm… I don’t
really know what to say.. But firstly I’d like to thank the
Lord Almighty for making this day possible and a success.
I’d also like to thank each and everyone of you for
gracing us with your presence on this very special day.
From my husband and I, we appreciate every person that
is here with us today.
To my parents…” I pause and I take a deep breath. Jason
takes my hand he holds it tight.

“Mom, thank you for raising me. I’d also love to thank my
father who is unfortunately not with us today.
To my in-laws, thank you for bringing Lisebo into the
world, without you we wouldn’t be here today. And
thank you for all the support that you have given us.
I’d like to thank my uncle, uncle Muzi thank you. You
have played a father role throughout the process of
making this day possible. I know it was not easy but you
never gave up.
I’d like to especially thank my gorgeous bridesmaids. You
guys look so stunning that’s why I’ve sat you as far away
from me as possible, I can’t be outshone on my own
wedding day. A huge thank you to the groomsmen as
well, I’m sure you guys had to drag my husband
screaming and kicking to come here today…” I joke and
everyone laughs. Hey look at that, I’m funny!
“Sli, you are my oldest and closest friend. We have been
through the good, the bad, and the ugly together. Your
friendship has been a source of strength to me over the
years and I want to say that I feel honored to have you
standing with me today. Thank you so much and I love
you. And lastly but not least..” I turn to face Jason who is
still holding my hand.

“To my husband, my love, my sweetheart, my king, my

everyday crush, my knight in shinning armor, my
everything, love of my life.. God where do I even start?
Thank you baby. Thank you for everything. Thank you for
making this day so beautiful and special. Thank you for
making my dream wedding possible. Thank you for
everything you have done for Quinn and I. Thank you for
your love, friendship, support and the joy you have
brought into my life. I know in the car you complained
that I never told you I love you during the matrimony, I
will say it now and everyday for the rest of my life. I love
you so much and I look forward to sharing this incredible
journey with you.
To everyone, I hope you enjoy the rest of today. Thank
you.” I finally sit down hoping I didn’t forget anyone. Jase
and I share another short kiss.

We cut the cake, had our first dance, I threw my bouquet

– guess who caught it? Khaya's girlfriend! I feel the same
way you feel about it.

Jason’s uncle closes with a long boring speech, even

Quinn was dozing off by her seat so I signaled to Babalwa
that she should bring her to me now she’s sleeping
peacefully sitting on my lap.

The people are just mingling now, couples are dancing to

the slow love songs playing so this is the perfect time to
sneak out of here.
Jason takes Quinn from and Sli helps me with my dress as
we make our way out.

“Bitch do you love dick that much that you actually

leaving your guests here?” she says.
“Shut up. I’m tired and it’s another long day tomorrow.”

We get in our car with Quinn and we start at the cabin

first so I can take off this dress – Jase is helping me take
off the dress. I put on my robe and we go back to my
hotel room. By the way it’s like 6 pm now.

He lays Quinn on the bed and we go for a shower. Lol I’m

not going to tell you what happened in there, you guys
like things. We laid on the bed speaking about our
highlights of the wedding (which was basically everything
for me) until we fell asleep – with Quinn sleeping in
between us.

We flew to Jo’burg in the wee hours of Sunday morning

and we had our beautiful Sotho traditional wedding. I
really loved it, I love their culture. Like Jason said, they
gave me a name that they will address me by, he also has
to address me by that name. The name is Mma Oratile
and I was told I have to name my firstborn with Jason
“Oratile” so yeah my baby is already named. I don’t mind
though cause it’s a beautiful name.
To top it all off, I received a brand new white
Lamborghini from my hubs as my wedding gift and an
appreciation gift. I literally died and right now I’m buried
six feet under so that was the story of my life, thank you.
Chapter Twenty Five

It’s been 4 months since our wedding, making me 6

months pregnant but it feels like I’ve been pregnant for a
whole year and I want it to end now. My stomach is very
much showing now, it actually popped out right after the
wedding like my baby just wanted mommy to look good
on her wedding day. Everyone now knows I’m pregnant
and they think the baby was conceived on the night of
our wedding, like really guys?
We told Quinn she’s going to have a sibling and she was
so ecstatic, she asked me how did I get the baby inside
my stomach and I told her I had sex duuuuh…kidding, I
told her I went to the hospital and they put the baby in
there. We also had her 7th birthday party last month.
Marriage life has been amazing – different but I love it. I
love being a wife. Do you know the feeling of waking up
in your husband’s arms? I know I’m used to it but now
that he’s my husband, it’s different. And making love to
him knowing that it’s not a sin anymore is just gloriously
divine. We’ve also made some rules like we don’t go to
bed mad at each other and no more cursing when we’re
arguing.

That bitch in Australia commented on some of the

wedding pictures that were on the net, she had the
audacity to write “congratulations twin” I just replied
with “fuck you”. And Khaya on the other hand has been
pestering me to meet up with him for lunch since I last
saw him at the wedding. I’ve been making excuses, I
mean yeah I saw you at the wedding and I was happy and
will be happy to see you again after two years. But he
doesn’t give up so I finally agreed to meet up with him
tomorrow, it’s Friday anyway and I need some air.

Jason barges in the house with Quinn as I’m in the

kitchen making food for myself – I eat a lot now and I
hate that.
“Hey guys, daddy you didn’t tell me you were going to
fetch her today.” I say.
“I finished at work early enough.” He says.

Quinn comes running to me.

“Hi happy feet.” She says hugging my belly before
running upstairs. I stop what I’m doing, did she just say
what I think she said or am I tripping?

Jason also comes to me and he hugs me from behind.

“How are we doing?” he says and he tries to kiss my neck

but I push him off me.
“Did you tell Quinn to say that?”
“Say what?” he looks confused.
“Didn’t you hear her? She just called me happy feet!” I
say and I suddenly burst into tears.
“Baby don’t cry, what’s wrong with that?” he says pulling
me in his embrace.
“She means I look like the penguins on the movie Happy
Feet.”
“Trust me my love you look beautiful as always.” He says
and he kisses me.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Do I lie to you? Wait here.” He says and he also goes
upstairs and he comes back with Quinn as I’m wiping my
tears with my hands.

“Tell mommy why you called her happy feet.” He says.

“I didn’t call her happy feet, the baby is happy feet cause
she’s always kicking.” She says.

Oh....

She’s right, this baby is a soccer player – her/his feet are

always busy, it’s painful sometimes but I love those kicks.
They remind me that there’s this bundle of happiness
growing in my womb that will soon join our lives, and
they also make me feel special cause it feels like the baby
is communicating with me. Jason loves feeling them too.
“Thank you, you can go back to your room.” He says.
“Oh God!” She says palming her forehead before running
up again. You know ever since she turned 7 she thinks
she’s this big girl now, the way she talks and behaves has
changed, she doesn’t call us mommy and daddy
anymore, it’s mom and dad now.

Jason looks at me and we both start laughing.

“Happy feet, your sister just gave you a new name.” he
says placing his hand on the belly.
“Please don’t call my baby that, it’s Oratile.”
“I love happy feet more.” He says.
“Mxm.” I say and I go back to my food making. “Should I
make you some as well?” I ask.
“What’s that?”
“Chicken nuggets and peanut butter.” That’s the only
thing that makes me happy these days.
“No thank you.” He says.
“Baby it’s really good, you have to try it at some point.”
“Cut me out! Actually go and sit down, I’ll do that for
you.”
“Oh thank you.” I say and place a kiss on his lips before
leaving him and I go to the living room, I just throw
myself on the couch. Eish why did I sit before getting the
TV remote?

5 minutes later he comes with my food and I feel like

dancing.
“Please get the remote before you sit.” I say.
He gets the remote before sitting next to me. He starts
feeding.
“I can feed myself.”
“But I want to feed you.” He says. I sigh and I just let him
be.

“There’s something I have to tell you, please don’t fight

with me.”
“What?” I stop chewing and I look at him.
“Promise you won’t be mad?”
“Jase..”
“I have to go to Jo’burg.”

Oh no! Not these trips again!

“When?” I ask.
“Tonight….I promise I didn’t know baby.”
“No you’re not going there tonight.” I say.
“Sthandwa sam it’s important.”
“I don’t care!” I say getting up and I leave him going
upstairs.

These little trips to Jo’burg every now and then get on

my last nerve! I can’t wait till we move to Jo’burg.

---
So Jason really left last night but at least he’s coming
back tonight. I drag myself out of bed and I go for a quick
shower. After showering I go in the dressing room and
put on a knee length stretchy dress with long sleeves –
grey in colour and I let down my long braids, I did braids
again.

2 hours later, I’m driving out of the yard, I’m actually an

hour late but I know Khaya will understand. I find him
already seated at the restaurant, I’m glad he picked one
of the tables outside.

He gets up when I get to him.

“Wow. Okay. When did this happen?” he says.

I’m assuming he’s talking about the pregnancy.
“Hello to you too Sir.” I say.
He laughs.
“I’m sorry, how are you?” he says and he gives me a hug.
“I’m very pregnant and you?” I say taking my seat. He
also takes his seat.
“I’m shocked, you guys are quick!”
“Well if you must know I was already expecting when we
had the wedding, I was like 2 months far.”
“Bulelwa lying doesn’t suit you.”
“No I’m serious. I’m 6 months into this now.”
“But you had a flat stomach on your wedding.” He says
looking shocked.
I shrug.
“That is unbelievable. Should I get you anything to
drink?” he says.
“Lemon water please.”

He waves for the waiter and he orders my water. The

waiter hands us the menus before walking away.

“Do you know how happy I am to see you, I didn’t get a

chance to speak to you properly at your wedding and I’ve
been dying for a catch up date.” He says.

I know… you’ve been bugging me since since.

“I’m happy too. How you’ve been? How’s your

girlfriend?” I say.
“I’ve been good, I can’t complain. Uhm.. Lelo is there,
how’s your husband?”
“My husband is there.” I say causing him to laugh.
“You’re still funny. And your daughter?”

Me? Funny? Okay.

“Quinn is okay…actually when are you having babies,

you’re getting old dude.”
“I know but I haven’t found anyone I see myself raising
kids with.”
“And Lelo?”
“I…I just don’t think she’s the one.” He says.
“Yet you’re still with her?”
He shrugs.
“Khaya don’t waste the girl’s time, it’s not okay.”
“I know but I’m a man Bulelwa, I have needs, I can’t be
single.”
“Wow men! And here I thought I would be attending
your wedding soon since she caught my bouquet.”
“I don’t think I actually want to get married.” He says.
“Why? You do know that you have to settle down at
some point right?”
“The only woman I could see myself marrying is already
married.” He says.

Gosh Khaya, he’s still there?

“Can we not go there please.” I say picking up the menu

and I start browsing through.

The waiter comes back and I order the meal that has
chicken nuggets as a side but I tell them to just bring me
the nuggets not the main meal.

“Really? Nuggets?” Khaya says as the waiter leaves.

“It’s the only thing I eat these days.”
“Your baby is really torturing you, is it a boy or girl?”
“We don’t know the gender, we want it to be a surprise
when she or he gets born.”
“Mhm.” He leans back on his chair and he just stares at
me.
“What?”
“If someone told me three years ago that you would be a
housewife, I would have probably laughed at them. What
happened to the independent, ambitious Bulelwa?”
“Oh no bro I’m not a housewife, as soon as this baby
comes out, I’m getting back to work. I’m actually starting
my own magazine company.”
“Oh really? That’s awesome news, I was starting to think
that husband of yours changed you.”
“My baby doesn’t like it when you talk about their father,
I’m getting kicked now.” I say pressing the side of my
belly.
“Can I feel it?” he says already getting up.

Uh…..

“Right here.” I place his hand on the side on my belly.

“Wow this is definitely a boy, these kicks are strong.” He
says.
My phone starts ringing in my handbag. I fish it out, it’s
hubs.
“Baby..” I say placing the phone on my ear.
“Is my child okay?”
“Yeah..”
“Who is that man and why is he touching you?”
Haibo! I look around.
“Where are you?’ I ask.
“I’m in Jo’burg. You’re having dates with men while I’m
away?”
“How do you….Jason you have people spying on me?” I
can’t believe this, why would he do that?
“I don’t have people spying on you, I have people who
are making sure you’re safe. Now I asked you a question,
who is that man?”

So I actually have people following me everywhere I go?

That is so shady.
“It’s Khaya, the friend I introduced you to at the
wedding.” He doesn’t know that he used to ask me out
and the fact that I’ve kissed him before.
“So why is he touching you?”
“The baby was kicking and he asked to feel it.” I say and I
look up at Khaya who now looks worried.
“Bulelwa this better be the last time you’re having a date
with him, and please stop letting everyone touch my
child. I love you okay?” he says.
“I love you.”
“Kiss happy feet for me.”
“It’s not happy feet!” I say and drop the call. This name is
going to get on my nerves.

“Did I just get you in trouble?”

“No, don’t worry about it.” I say and I put my phone
away. I lift up my eyes and I see he’s staring at me again.
I’m not going to say anything time.
Our food arrives.
“How do you do it?” he says. I guess he’s satisfied with
staring at me.
“Do what?”
“Look so gorgeous even when you’re pregnant?”
“Should I be ugly?”
“Even if you tried being ugly, I don’t think you would
succeed.”
I smile.
“Still a smooth talker I see.”
“I’m just being honest. I still wonder what would have
happened if we actually ended up together.”

Why does he keep trying to get this conversation where I

don’t want it to go?
I just shrug cause I don’t know what he expects me to
say.

“How are your businesses doing?” I ask.

“Pretty good actually, I’m trying to get into the property
business now.”
“You never rest hey? Always working like my husband.”
“A man has to do what he has to do.”

We chat for a few more minutes before we both get up

and he walks me to my car.
“It was lovely to see you.”
“It was lovely to see you too.” I say unlocking the car.
“Hug?” he says.
“High five?” I say raising my hand. There’s someone here
watching me that reports to Jason everything and I know
he wouldn’t appreciate me getting that close with
another man.

He laughs before giving me a high five.

“I’ll hit you on the phone.” He says.
“Sure.”
I get in the car and I call the kid’s driver telling him I will
fetch them today. This baby starts kicking me again, it’s
not those soft kicks I love, it’s the fighting kicks like what
did I do baby?
I drive to pick up Quinn first before driving to Babalwa’s
school.

---
It’s 10 pm and I just finished showering. Jason said he
would be home in an hour and I can’t wait, I slept alone
last night and it was awful so I’ll wait for him even
though I’m actually tired and sleepy.
I have an idea, I get up from the bed and I walk in the
closet. I start searching for that lingerie Sli bought for me
on my birthday, I’ve never used it before. There it is, I
hope it fits even though it looks uncomfortable. I
suddenly remember I didn’t shave, there’s hair starting
to grow down there and I thought I was going to do it
tomorrow. Oh well he’ll have to forgive me.

I take off my pajamas and I put on this red and black

lingerie and I stand by the mirror. Okay I look sexy
enough for a pregnant woman. This is like a see-through
very short nightie and I’m not wearing underwear. I let
down my braids which I had tied in a high bun when I
was taking a shower. I pray some perfume on myself
before walking out of the dressing room.

I take my phone and I call this man.

“Wife.” He says.
“Honey where are you? I’m about to doze off here.”
“I’m actually entering the yard.”
“Oh okay!” I say and I drop the call. I go back to the
mirror to check myself one more time before getting on
the bed again and I sit in a position that I’m assuming is
sexy facing the door.

I wait for like 5 minutes before the door opens. He walks

in and he stops and widens his eyes.
“Mma Oratile…” he says.
“Hey baby..” I say with a supposedly sexy voice and I
kneel on the bed giving him bedroom eyes.
“Uhm..hey..” he says slowly coming towards the bed.
“How was your trip?” I say pulling down one strip off my
shoulder lol I don’t know what the fuck am I doing.
“It was good..” he says and he gets on the bed and he
tries to crawl over me.
“Don’t touch..” I say pushing him back. I make him lay on
his back and I get on top of him with my legs on either
side of him. I kiss him for a few minutes, I feel him
growing inside his pants underneath me and I stop
kissing him.

He pulls the other strip off my shoulder.

“I said don’t touch!” I say removing his hands from me.
“Come on baby you’re killing me.”
“Patience..” I say and I start unbuttoning his shirt. I pull it
off and I pull off the vest he’s wearing underneath. I kiss
him again for a few minutes before getting off him. I
kneel by his side and I undo his belt. I pull down the zip
of his pants and I tuck in my hand holding his already
hard dick. I move my hand in an up and down motion
and he starts moaning. Okay I need him in me now. I pull
out my hand and I pull down his pants together with his
underwear.
I get on top of him again inserting his dick inside my hole,
I feel a bit of a discomfort but I ignore it and I start
moving slowly and I’m going to keep it in this motion.
Without any warning, he picks me up and lifts me off him
putting me on his side. Am I that light?

He gets up and he stands by the edge of the bed before

pulling me down by my legs. He puts both my legs on his
shoulders before going in. I feel the discomfort again
causing me to wince but it disappears as he moves in and
out. I clench my inner muscles tightening my vagina as he
moves.
“Fuck Bulelwa don’t do that..” he says.
“Do what?”
“You know what you’re doing.” He says before moving
again.

I do it again.
“Oh is that how you want to play?” he says and he pulls
out.
He inserts his finger and he starts fingering me hitting my
G-spot.

“Oh my God…ahhh…” I scream.

“You do know that Bebe is still awake right?” He says and
I cover my mouth with my hand. My body immediately
trembles and he pulls out his finger. He looks at it and he
looks between my legs.

“Sorry I haven’t shaved.” I say still breathing heavily.

“You’re bleeding.” He says.

What??
……to be continued.
Chapter Twenty Five

It’s been 4 months since our wedding, making me 6

months pregnant but it feels like I’ve been pregnant for a
whole year and I want it to end now. My stomach is very
much showing now, it actually popped out right after the
wedding like my baby just wanted mommy to look good
on her wedding day. Everyone now knows I’m pregnant
and they think the baby was conceived on the night of
our wedding, like really guys?
We told Quinn she’s going to have a sibling and she was
so ecstatic, she asked me how did I get the baby inside
my stomach and I told her I had sex duuuuh…kidding, I
told her I went to the hospital and they put the baby in
there. We also had her 7th birthday party last month.

Marriage life has been amazing – different but I love it. I

love being a wife. Do you know the feeling of waking up
in your husband’s arms? I know I’m used to it but now
that he’s my husband, it’s different. And making love to
him knowing that it’s not a sin anymore is just gloriously
divine. We’ve also made some rules like we don’t go to
bed mad at each other and no more cursing when we’re
arguing.

That bitch in Australia commented on some of the

wedding pictures that were on the net, she had the
audacity to write “congratulations twin” I just replied
with “fuck you”. And Khaya on the other hand has been
pestering me to meet up with him for lunch since I last
saw him at the wedding. I’ve been making excuses, I
mean yeah I saw you at the wedding and I was happy and
will be happy to see you again after two years. But he
doesn’t give up so I finally agreed to meet up with him
tomorrow, it’s Friday anyway and I need some air.

Jason barges in the house with Quinn as I’m in the

kitchen making food for myself – I eat a lot now and I
hate that.

“Hey guys, daddy you didn’t tell me you were going to

fetch her today.” I say.
“I finished at work early enough.” He says.

Quinn comes running to me.

“Hi happy feet.” She says hugging my belly before
running upstairs. I stop what I’m doing, did she just say
what I think she said or am I tripping?

Jason also comes to me and he hugs me from behind.

“How are we doing?” he says and he tries to kiss my neck
but I push him off me.
“Did you tell Quinn to say that?”
“Say what?” he looks confused.
“Didn’t you hear her? She just called me happy feet!” I
say and I suddenly burst into tears.
“Baby don’t cry, what’s wrong with that?” he says pulling
me in his embrace.
“She means I look like the penguins on the movie Happy
Feet.”
“Trust me my love you look beautiful as always.” He says
and he kisses me.
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
“Do I lie to you? Wait here.” He says and he also goes
upstairs and he comes back with Quinn as I’m wiping my
tears with my hands.

“Tell mommy why you called her happy feet.” He says.

“I didn’t call her happy feet, the baby is happy feet cause
she’s always kicking.” She says.
Oh....

She’s right, this baby is a soccer player – her/his feet are

always busy, it’s painful sometimes but I love those kicks.
They remind me that there’s this bundle of happiness
growing in my womb that will soon join our lives, and
they also make me feel special cause it feels like the baby
is communicating with me. Jason loves feeling them too.

“Thank you, you can go back to your room.” He says.

“Oh God!” She says palming her forehead before running
up again. You know ever since she turned 7 she thinks
she’s this big girl now, the way she talks and behaves has
changed, she doesn’t call us mommy and daddy
anymore, it’s mom and dad now.

Jason looks at me and we both start laughing.

“Happy feet, your sister just gave you a new name.” he
says placing his hand on the belly.
“Please don’t call my baby that, it’s Oratile.”
“I love happy feet more.” He says.
“Mxm.” I say and I go back to my food making. “Should I
make you some as well?” I ask.
“What’s that?”
“Chicken nuggets and peanut butter.” That’s the only
thing that makes me happy these days.
“No thank you.” He says.
“Baby it’s really good, you have to try it at some point.”
“Cut me out! Actually go and sit down, I’ll do that for
you.”
“Oh thank you.” I say and place a kiss on his lips before
leaving him and I go to the living room, I just throw
myself on the couch. Eish why did I sit before getting the
TV remote?

5 minutes later he comes with my food and I feel like

dancing.
“Please get the remote before you sit.” I say.
He gets the remote before sitting next to me. He starts
feeding.
“I can feed myself.”
“But I want to feed you.” He says. I sigh and I just let him
be.

“There’s something I have to tell you, please don’t fight

with me.”
“What?” I stop chewing and I look at him.
“Promise you won’t be mad?”
“Jase..”
“I have to go to Jo’burg.”

Oh no! Not these trips again!

“When?” I ask.
“Tonight….I promise I didn’t know baby.”
“No you’re not going there tonight.” I say.
“Sthandwa sam it’s important.”
“I don’t care!” I say getting up and I leave him going
upstairs.
These little trips to Jo’burg every now and then get on
my last nerve! I can’t wait till we move to Jo’burg.

---
So Jason really left last night but at least he’s coming
back tonight. I drag myself out of bed and I go for a quick
shower. After showering I go in the dressing room and
put on a knee length stretchy dress with long sleeves –
grey in colour and I let down my long braids, I did braids
again.

2 hours later, I’m driving out of the yard, I’m actually an

hour late but I know Khaya will understand. I find him
already seated at the restaurant, I’m glad he picked one
of the tables outside.

He gets up when I get to him.

“Wow. Okay. When did this happen?” he says.

I’m assuming he’s talking about the pregnancy.
“Hello to you too Sir.” I say.
He laughs.
“I’m sorry, how are you?” he says and he gives me a hug.
“I’m very pregnant and you?” I say taking my seat. He
also takes his seat.
“I’m shocked, you guys are quick!”
“Well if you must know I was already expecting when we
had the wedding, I was like 2 months far.”
“Bulelwa lying doesn’t suit you.”
“No I’m serious. I’m 6 months into this now.”
“But you had a flat stomach on your wedding.” He says
looking shocked.
I shrug.
“That is unbelievable. Should I get you anything to
drink?” he says.
“Lemon water please.”

He waves for the waiter and he orders my water. The

waiter hands us the menus before walking away.
“Do you know how happy I am to see you, I didn’t get a
chance to speak to you properly at your wedding and I’ve
been dying for a catch up date.” He says.

I know… you’ve been bugging me since since.

“I’m happy too. How you’ve been? How’s your

girlfriend?” I say.
“I’ve been good, I can’t complain. Uhm.. Lelo is there,
how’s your husband?”
“My husband is there.” I say causing him to laugh.
“You’re still funny. And your daughter?”

Me? Funny? Okay.

“Quinn is okay…actually when are you having babies,

you’re getting old dude.”
“I know but I haven’t found anyone I see myself raising
kids with.”
“And Lelo?”
“I…I just don’t think she’s the one.” He says.
“Yet you’re still with her?”
He shrugs.
“Khaya don’t waste the girl’s time, it’s not okay.”
“I know but I’m a man Bulelwa, I have needs, I can’t be
single.”
“Wow men! And here I thought I would be attending
your wedding soon since she caught my bouquet.”
“I don’t think I actually want to get married.” He says.
“Why? You do know that you have to settle down at
some point right?”
“The only woman I could see myself marrying is already
married.” He says.

Gosh Khaya, he’s still there?

“Can we not go there please.” I say picking up the menu

and I start browsing through.
The waiter comes back and I order the meal that has
chicken nuggets as a side but I tell them to just bring me
the nuggets not the main meal.

“Really? Nuggets?” Khaya says as the waiter leaves.

“It’s the only thing I eat these days.”
“Your baby is really torturing you, is it a boy or girl?”
“We don’t know the gender, we want it to be a surprise
when she or he gets born.”
“Mhm.” He leans back on his chair and he just stares at
me.
“What?”
“If someone told me three years ago that you would be a
housewife, I would have probably laughed at them. What
happened to the independent, ambitious Bulelwa?”
“Oh no bro I’m not a housewife, as soon as this baby
comes out, I’m getting back to work. I’m actually starting
my own magazine company.”
“Oh really? That’s awesome news, I was starting to think
that husband of yours changed you.”
“My baby doesn’t like it when you talk about their father,
I’m getting kicked now.” I say pressing the side of my
belly.
“Can I feel it?” he says already getting up.

Uh…..

“Right here.” I place his hand on the side on my belly.

“Wow this is definitely a boy, these kicks are strong.” He
says.

My phone starts ringing in my handbag. I fish it out, it’s

hubs.
“Baby..” I say placing the phone on my ear.
“Is my child okay?”
“Yeah..”
“Who is that man and why is he touching you?”
Haibo! I look around.
“Where are you?’ I ask.
“I’m in Jo’burg. You’re having dates with men while I’m
away?”
“How do you….Jason you have people spying on me?” I
can’t believe this, why would he do that?
“I don’t have people spying on you, I have people who
are making sure you’re safe. Now I asked you a question,
who is that man?”

So I actually have people following me everywhere I go?

That is so shady.

“It’s Khaya, the friend I introduced you to at the

wedding.” He doesn’t know that he used to ask me out
and the fact that I’ve kissed him before.
“So why is he touching you?”
“The baby was kicking and he asked to feel it.” I say and I
look up at Khaya who now looks worried.
“Bulelwa this better be the last time you’re having a date
with him, and please stop letting everyone touch my
child. I love you okay?” he says.
“I love you.”
“Kiss happy feet for me.”
“It’s not happy feet!” I say and drop the call. This name is
going to get on my nerves.

“Did I just get you in trouble?”

“No, don’t worry about it.” I say and I put my phone
away. I lift up my eyes and I see he’s staring at me again.
I’m not going to say anything time.
Our food arrives.

“How do you do it?” he says. I guess he’s satisfied with

staring at me.
“Do what?”
“Look so gorgeous even when you’re pregnant?”
“Should I be ugly?”
“Even if you tried being ugly, I don’t think you would
succeed.”
I smile.
“Still a smooth talker I see.”
“I’m just being honest. I still wonder what would have
happened if we actually ended up together.”

Why does he keep trying to get this conversation where I

don’t want it to go?
I just shrug cause I don’t know what he expects me to
say.

“How are your businesses doing?” I ask.

“Pretty good actually, I’m trying to get into the property
business now.”
“You never rest hey? Always working like my husband.”
“A man has to do what he has to do.”

We chat for a few more minutes before we both get up

and he walks me to my car.
“It was lovely to see you.”
“It was lovely to see you too.” I say unlocking the car.
“Hug?” he says.
“High five?” I say raising my hand. There’s someone here
watching me that reports to Jason everything and I know
he wouldn’t appreciate me getting that close with
another man.

He laughs before giving me a high five.

“I’ll hit you on the phone.” He says.
“Sure.”
I get in the car and I call the kid’s driver telling him I will
fetch them today. This baby starts kicking me again, it’s
not those soft kicks I love, it’s the fighting kicks like what
did I do baby?

I drive to pick up Quinn first before driving to Babalwa’s

school.

---
It’s 10 pm and I just finished showering. Jason said he
would be home in an hour and I can’t wait, I slept alone
last night and it was awful so I’ll wait for him even
though I’m actually tired and sleepy.
I have an idea, I get up from the bed and I walk in the
closet. I start searching for that lingerie Sli bought for me
on my birthday, I’ve never used it before. There it is, I
hope it fits even though it looks uncomfortable. I
suddenly remember I didn’t shave, there’s hair starting
to grow down there and I thought I was going to do it
tomorrow. Oh well he’ll have to forgive me.

I take off my pajamas and I put on this red and black

lingerie and I stand by the mirror. Okay I look sexy
enough for a pregnant woman. This is like a see-through
very short nightie and I’m not wearing underwear. I let
down my braids which I had tied in a high bun when I
was taking a shower. I pray some perfume on myself
before walking out of the dressing room.

I take my phone and I call this man.

“Wife.” He says.
“Honey where are you? I’m about to doze off here.”
“I’m actually entering the yard.”
“Oh okay!” I say and I drop the call. I go back to the
mirror to check myself one more time before getting on
the bed again and I sit in a position that I’m assuming is
sexy facing the door.

I wait for like 5 minutes before the door opens. He walks

in and he stops and widens his eyes.
“Mma Oratile…” he says.
“Hey baby..” I say with a supposedly sexy voice and I
kneel on the bed giving him bedroom eyes.
“Uhm..hey..” he says slowly coming towards the bed.
“How was your trip?” I say pulling down one strip off my
shoulder lol I don’t know what the fuck am I doing.
“It was good..” he says and he gets on the bed and he
tries to crawl over me.
“Don’t touch..” I say pushing him back. I make him lay on
his back and I get on top of him with my legs on either
side of him. I kiss him for a few minutes, I feel him
growing inside his pants underneath me and I stop
kissing him.

He pulls the other strip off my shoulder.

“I said don’t touch!” I say removing his hands from me.
“Come on baby you’re killing me.”
“Patience..” I say and I start unbuttoning his shirt. I pull it
off and I pull off the vest he’s wearing underneath. I kiss
him again for a few minutes before getting off him. I
kneel by his side and I undo his belt. I pull down the zip
of his pants and I tuck in my hand holding his already
hard dick. I move my hand in an up and down motion
and he starts moaning. Okay I need him in me now. I pull
out my hand and I pull down his pants together with his
underwear.
I get on top of him again inserting his dick inside my hole,
I feel a bit of a discomfort but I ignore it and I start
moving slowly and I’m going to keep it in this motion.
Without any warning, he picks me up and lifts me off him
putting me on his side. Am I that light?

He gets up and he stands by the edge of the bed before

pulling me down by my legs. He puts both my legs on his
shoulders before going in. I feel the discomfort again
causing me to wince but it disappears as he moves in and
out. I clench my inner muscles tightening my vagina as he
moves.
“Fuck Bulelwa don’t do that..” he says.
“Do what?”
“You know what you’re doing.” He says before moving
again.

I do it again.
“Oh is that how you want to play?” he says and he pulls
out.
He inserts his finger and he starts fingering me hitting my
G-spot.

“Oh my God…ahhh…” I scream.

“You do know that Bebe is still awake right?” He says and
I cover my mouth with my hand. My body immediately
trembles and he pulls out his finger. He looks at it and he
looks between my legs.

“Sorry I haven’t shaved.” I say still breathing heavily.

“You’re bleeding.” He says.
What??
……to be continued.
Chapter 25 continuation 💕

“Why am I bleeding? Is there too much blood?” I’m

scared to even look.
“I don’t know..” he’s panicking.

I take a look, what the hell? The blood is even on the

bed.
“Jason what did you do?”
“So it’s my fault? Come on let’s get you to hospital.” He
says and he walks in the bathroom.

Of course it’s his fault, he stuck his huge motherfucking

dick in my vagina! Well I know I stuck it there myself but
it’s not my fault that it’s huge. He better pray Oratile is
okay or else….
He comes back and he cleans me up before helping me
put on my sweat suit and we leave.
He’s driving and I’m sitting in the backseat trying to feel
any movements inside my stomach.

“Come on happy feet, kick for mommy.” I say lightly

pressing where she or he usually kicks but I’m not getting
any response.
“Daddy didn’t mean to hurt us.” I say.
“You’re honestly blaming me?” he says.
I ignore him and I continue trying to get my baby to kick
or any movement to show she’s/he’s okay but I’m not
getting anything and I’m starting to worry.

We arrive at the hospital and we go straight to the ER.

We had a little argument cause my husband wanted me
to get on the wheelchair like dude stop being dramatic
my feet aren’t broken. I’m starting to sound like Babalwa
hey?
I’m made to lie on the bed and the doctor proceeds with
the ultrasound scan. Jason is on my side holding my hand
but he’s also looking at the monitor.

“Oh you have placenta previa, that is what caused the

bleeding.” The doctor finally says and he’s still running
the scan around my belly.
I don’t know what the hell is that or what it means. Jason
looks as confused as I am.

“Is the baby okay?” he asks. Honestly that’s all I want to

know as well.

“The baby is perfect however your placenta is laying too

low and it covers the cervix which means natural birth
will be risky cause you will lose a lot of blood.”
“So I’m forced to do the caesarian?” I ask. I didn’t want
that, I wanted to push the baby out the natural way.
“If it happens that the placenta hasn’t moved at least 2
cm away from the cervix by the time you get to your due
date then I’m afraid they’ll be no other option but to do
the caesarian.” The doctor explains.
“Is it safe to continue having sex though?” Jason asks.

Wow that’s all he’s worried about?

“Yes it is safe, it’s actually good cause it dilates and

softens the cervix which will enable you to have an easy
delivery – that is for natural birth of cause.”- Doctor.
“I hope you heard that Mma Oratile.” Jason says with a
smirk before perking my lips.
“Do you perhaps want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”-
Doctor.

“Yes please!” Jason says a little too loudly.

The doctor plugs in the headphones.

“Mommy first.” He says handing them to me and I put
them on.
Oh wow…is this really my baby’s heartbeat? Hearing this
for the first time confirms that my little human is real. I
can’t stop the tears, this is just amazing.

I take them off and I hand them to Jason. He puts them

on and he immediately starts grinning the shit out of
himself.
“This is so cool.” He says like he’s listening to a new
catchy song.

Before we left he asked the doctor for a recording of

Oratile's heartbeat and the doctor said he’ll organize that
for us on our next appointment. I’m just relieved that my
baby is okay, even if I have to do a c-section it’s okay.

We go to McDonald’s drive-thru for chicken nuggets

before driving home. Yes it’s almost 2 am and I’m stuffing
my face with nuggets, I’m not a pig, it’s Oratile.

---
2 months later.
I’m heavily pregnant now. I look like a whale and none of
my clothes fit, it’s just depressing. When I was pregnant
with Quinn I never got this big. And my friend here
doesn’t have mercy. Who drags a heavily pregnant
woman out of the house and make her walk around the
mall for like 3 hours?

She’s busy blabbering and I can’t even hear a thing she’s

saying cause I’m extremely tired. The tears just roll out of
my eyes.

“Haibo friend you crying? You okay?” she says.

“Sli I’m tired.” I say in a hoarse voice.
“That’s why you’re crying? Wow pregnancy emotions are
a real thing hey?” she says and it just triggers more tears.
How can she say that? She’s not the one walking around
with a huge ass belly looking like a fucking cow.
“Okay okay I’m sorry, we can go and sit down. Please
don’t cry you look so ugly when you cry.” She says wiping
my tears with her hand.

“We’ve been here for like 3 hours, I want to go home.” I

say.
“I just need to get one more thing than we can go.” She
says.

I just walk away to find a place for me to sit. I can see her
inside the store from where I’m sitting, she’s talking on
the phone. She hangs up and she comes to me.
“Okay mommy we can go now.” She says and she takes
my hand.

We walk out of the mall to her car. I get on the passenger

seat and I put on the seatbelt.
“Did you buy my nuggets?” I ask as she gets on her seat.
“What nuggets?” she asks looking confused.
“Sli I asked you to buy me nuggets.”
“No you didn’t.”
“I did I’m not crazy.” I say and I feel tears trickling my
eyes again.
She opens her mouth to say something but she bites her
tongue and she takes a deep breath.
“Okay I’m sorry I forgot but we will get them on the
way.” She says before starting the car.
I recline my seat back a bit and I close my eyes. No I’m
not sleeping, I’m just resting my eyes. You can never
sleep when Sli is driving.

I feel her shaking me. I open my eyes, oh we’re home? So

I actually fell asleep?

We step out of the car and we walk inside the house. She
asks me to go and try on the cute pink dress she bought
me and come down to show her. I take the dress and I
walk in in one of the bedrooms downstairs, I won’t be
able to make it to our bedroom. I take off the black maxi
dress I was wearing, I need help here so I scream her
name. In a second she’s in the bedroom.
“What’s wrong?” she asks. She’s on panic mode.
“Chill I just need help putting on the dress.”
“Oh…I hope it fits.” She says as she’s helping me.
“So you think I’m fat?”
“No you’re skinny.”

This dress is actually beautiful and yes it fits. It’s a soft

pink stretchy dress that goes just above the knee and it’s
also off-shoulder.

“You look cute mommy.” Sli says and she let’s down my
weave which I had tied up.
“Come on I want to show you something..” she says
pulling my hand.
“Let me take off this first.”
“No you’ll do that later, you know how much of a mission
it was putting it on.”

Again, that is her subliminally telling me I’m fat but I’m

going to ignore her. I suddenly remember, where are the
nuggets she promised to get me on the way home?
“Skat where are my nuggets?”
“In the kitchen, but first I want to show you something
outside, you have to cover your eyes.” She says and she
covers my eyes with her hand.

Okay…

She leads me outside to the backyard before removing

her hand away from my eyes.

“Surprise!!!” they all shout.

What the hell! My jaw descends to the ground.

This looks like a baby shower. Wait, I’m pregnant which

means this is my baby shower! And when did these 3
from Jo’burg get here? And why is it decorated in pink?
There are balloons written ‘it’s a girl’. The cake is also
written ‘it’s a girl’ with ballet shoes on top, how the fuck
do these people know the gender of my baby when I,
myself don’t know it?

Hlelo and Reneilwe are here with their cousin I met on

my Sotho wedding and I actually got a long with. My
cousin Sbahle is here and Amogelang obviously. It’s just
six people at my baby shower, or should I also count
Quinn and Kuchi? Lol I need to start being nice to people
so I can have many friends.

“First things first, how do you guys know it’s a girl?”

that’s the first thing I ask.
“Your husband told us.”- Hlelo.

How does he know? Maybe he went behind my back and

asked the doctor for the gender. I’m going to kill him but
anyway… I’m having another girl! I couldn’t be happier
than this. I know I initially wanted a boy but I’m also
happy I’m getting a second princess, I’m very happy.
“Thank you guys so much, this was the last thing on my
mind.” I say.

I really appreciate this. Throughout my pregnancy a baby

shower has never crossed my mind, I actually forgot
there was a thing called a baby shower. The décor is so
beautiful and cute – those pink and white balloons in the
pool are my favourite. And there are so many gifts!
They put a tiara on top of my head.

“You guys owe me a lot for getting her out of the house,
do you know how much crying I’ve had to deal with?” Sli
says.
“I’m sorry.” I say wrapping my arm around her neck and I
kiss her cheek.

Okay it was only 7 of us but we still had so much fun. It’s

always fun when Sli is around with her no-filter mouth.
She was showing me comfortable sex positions since my
belly is huge now, right in front of everyone! And then
Babalwa went on to say she hears us every time we have
sex which was quite embarrassing. I think we’ll have to
soundproof our bedroom when we move to Jo’burg. By
the way she told me she applied at UJ and UCT for next
year. I don’t believe her though, I mean she has never
asked me for any application fees and stuff like that and
when I ask about it she just dismisses the subject.

2 weeks later I went on my last check up and that

placenta what what moved away from the babies exit so
I’ll be able to push Happy Feet, ugh this name! I’ll be able
to push Oratile out the natural way and I couldn’t be
happier.

It’s Wednesday and Jason is at work, the kids are at

school so basically I’m alone. No I’m not alone, I’m so
rude. Aunt Patty and Lindiwe are here. I’m just sitting on
the couch with my MacBook looking at some baby stuff
online and buying whatever I like for Oratile – I do that a
lot these days, it’s easier now that I know it’s a girl. She’s
coming in 2 or 3 weeks.. I’m not really sure, I’m having
pregnancy brains right now. But everything is ready. Her
nursery is ready. On the baby shower I received a car
seat from Sli and Hlelo bought her a stroller – both of
these things Jason had already bought but I didn’t know
about it.

I told myself I’m going to do everything I wished but

never go to do with my first pregnancy due to financial
instability. So last week I had a pregnancy photoshoot
with my husband and Quinn. Even though I don’t feel
good about myself at the moment but those pictures
look bomb, I’m even thinking of getting into the
modelling industry. Lol hell no! I’m joking.

“Look at those cute little shoes baby do you like them?” I

ask Oratile who decides to just ignore me, smh.
“Oratile don’t you know it’s rude to ignore your mom?”

“Who are you talking to sis B?” Lindiwe asks behind me

laughing.
“This rude baby, she has her father’s attitude…ahh!” I
scream.
“What?” she asks with her eyes all out.
“I just felt a sharp pain on my lower back.” I say rubbing
my back and I take a few deep breaths.
“Should I call your husband?”
“No it always happens and it goes away.”
“Yhu you scared me there. I actually came to tell you the
securities at the gate say there’s a delivery for you.”
“Oh could you please fetch it for me if it’s not something
heavy.” I won’t be able to make it down there.
“No problem.”
“Thank you.”

She comes back with a box wrapped up in a cute gift

wrapper. So it’s a gift? From who? I take it and it’s just
written “To: mommy to be” and they put a little heart
where they’re supposed to write who is it from. Sigh.

I unwrap the box, Lindiwe is still standing here waiting to

see what is inside. I open the box and I literally scream
before quickly closing again. I’m shaking and I start
breathing heavily like I’m having a panic attack.
“Sis B is everything okay?” Lindiwe asks also panicking.
“Get me water please.” I say and she rushes to the
kitchen. I can’t let this get to me, it’s not good for my
baby.
“What is in there?” she asks when she comes back with a
bottle of water.

I look at her and I open the box slowly this time to check
if it’s really what I saw or am I losing my mind. No I’m still
sane. It’s a scary looking doll with a chopped off head
that is placed on the side – basically it’s a murdered doll.
I see a small note as well written “you’ll never find
happiness”. I start shaking profusely.

“I should call your husband.” She says.

“No don’t. This is probably someone playing a prank on
me.” Even I don’t believe my words.

I know this is no fucking prank, there is someone out

there who doesn’t want to see me happy. This dead doll
means something, they after my baby. The first person
that comes to mind is MaDlamini, she’s the one who
threatened to harm my child. Why didn’t Jason just kill
her? Yes I want her dead and I’m going to instruct Jason
to find her and kill her cause she has gone too far now.
She can’t threaten to harm any of my kids and think
she’ll get away with it. Call me a murderer and see if I
actually care.

“No one will harm you baby, no one. Mommy will protect
you always.” I say hopelessly and tears fall out of my
eyes.

As soon as my husband got home, I showed him what

was delivered to our house and he doesn’t think it’s
MaDlamini but he wouldn’t tell me who he thinks it is. It
better not be one of his whores cause they will die.

---
I’m having such a beautiful dream and I won’t allow it to
be disrupted by these fucking contractions, like I still
have 2 weeks before labor so they better go back to
where they come from.
I try to ignore them but they keep getting severe. Ugh! I
open my eyes only to discover I’m wet, my water broke.
The hell? I check the time, it’s 1.53 am.

“Okay Bulelwa you need to calm down.” I utter to myself

but these contractions aren’t helping at all, they keep
getting worse and I want to scream.

“Baby.” I say shaking him.

“Hmm?” he says and he decides to turn his back on me.
“Jase my water broke!” I say trying to remain tranquil.
“What?” he says jumping out of bed as if I said the house
is on fire.

I watch him as he rushes into the closet and he comes

back with his video camera. Wft? I thought he went there
to get me something to wear.

“Baby you’re in labor, how do you feel?” he says

recording me with his stupid camera.
“Jason get that thing out of my face!” I swear I am 5-to
slapping him.
“Ahhh!” I scream. This is unbearable now.
He puts the camera down and he decides to scoop me
up.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I shout.
“Taking you to hospital!”
“Put me down! I need to change these wet pajamas!”

He puts me on the bed and he rushes into the closet

again. The way he’s panicking you’d swear he’s the one
in labor. He comes back with clean pajamas and he helps
me put them on.

“Oh my God Jase hurry!” I say and I try to take deep

breaths.
“I’m sorry.” He says.
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry!”

He picks me up again and he runs out of the bedroom.

“Don’t run with me, you’ll drop me you idiot!”
“I won’t.” he says and he rushes down the stairs and out
the door. He unlocks his Range Rover and he puts me in
the backseat.
“Eish I forgot my camera.” He says before running back in
the house. You have got to be kidding me! I swear if I
don’t slap my husband today then I never will. I’m going
to give birth in this car.

He comes back shortly after and he gets in the car and

we drive off.

He’s driving whilst videotaping me in stead of driving

faster. Without thinking, I grab the camera from his hand
and I throw it out the window. The shock on his face.

“Drive to the damn hospital!” I shout.

“I’m sorry.” He says and he starts driving faster. Like he’s
driving really fast now, but at least the road is empty.
I suddenly see a bright light right in my face darkening
my vision followed by a loud smash sound and glasses
breaking and then everything just goes blank.
*
*
*
*
Yho I tried making it longer but writer's block is like I
think the fuck not! 🤦🏽 I promise a better insert
tomorrow. 🙏🏽
Chapter Twenty Six

God really works in mysterious ways. To this day I still

question how all three of us made it out of that accident
alive? How we survived is unfathomable. How can a car
we were in be destroyed beyond repair but we only
come out with minor injuries? I know Jason hit his head
and was unconscious for almost 2 weeks but that still is
nothing considering the fact that they had to cut the car
for him to come out. And I on the other hand, I passed
out on that scene and they were forced to perform the
caesarian on me while I was out, when I woke up I was a
mother to a beautiful healthy perfect baby girl. Oratile
Hailey - Grace Lekoane. Yes I know I should have named
her Miracle cause it really was a miracle that she survived
– that we all survived but imagine my baby being called
Miracle? Imagine her being teased at school about
something she had no control over. I wasn’t going to do
that to my child. And yes no more happy feet.. Who am I
kidding? Even I still call her that sometimes. Guys she’s
so perfect and the amount of joy and love she brings to
my heart is unmeasurable. Every time I look at her my
heart just melts and all my worries just disappear. I
always say if you’ve never been a mom than you haven’t
experienced the strongest kind of love you can ever find
in the world. My babies are literally my bundles of joy.
Literally!

Quinn adores her sister so much but we fight every time I

have to bathe Oratile or change her diaper cause she
wants to do it. She doesn’t understand that this a human
being – a fragile one at that and not one of her dolls. I
also fight with Babalwa who thinks the baby should
always be in her arms.
These past 2 weeks have been literally the hardest 2
weeks of my life. Dealing with a newborn whilst going
back and forth to hospital to check on my husband and
also making sure Quinn still gets my attention as well, it
was just too much. And Jason’s child is a crier at night! I
even moved her cot from her nursery and put it in our
bedroom next to our bed cause I was tired of being
woken up by the baby monitor and actually have to get
out of bed and go to her nursery. She sleeps during the
day and at night she thinks it’s play time. I don’t
remember the last time I had a good 8 hour sleep, or
even a 5 hour sleep.

Jason woke up 3 days ago and is being discharged today,

I couldn’t be more ecstatic. The moment he woke up he
just wanted to leave the hospital immediately and go
home to meet his daughter. When they told me he was
unconscious I was scared he wasn’t going to wake up, I
was scared Oratile was never going to meet her father
and I was scared that I was going to lose my husband. But
he’s recovering well now. His family came from Jo’burg
last week to see him and they also met the baby. Guess
who his mom blames for the accident? Yeah me. Like
how would you blame me when I was also in the same
car? Accidents happen to anyone and all of us could have
died. I think she’s really reaching for a reason to hate me
and I don’t even have the energy to entertain her. My
focus is just on my kids and my husband. Jason’s father
never came, there’s something going on between him
and his father cause even at the wedding I saw him for
like 5 minutes and he just disappeared. I’ll speak to him
about it and if they have any issues they need to iron
them out.

Being involved in a car accident made me look at life

differently. It made me realize nothing is guaranteed, I
could die anytime and leave my kids – anyone could die
anytime, it’s something we have no control over that’s
why we need to appreciate every single second that we
breathe and live every single day like it was the last day
living. I’ve also made the decision to sort things out with
my mom. I know what she did may seem unforgivable
but life is too short to be holding grudges over things that
cannot be reversed. She’s the grandmother of my kids
and it’s only fair that they have a relationship with her.
The doctor called me an hour ago and told me my
husband is ready to leave and I sent the driver to go and
pick him up so I expect him to walk in the house any
minute from now. Oratile woke me up at 3 am, it’s 12 pm
now and I haven’t closed my eyes ever since but look at
her sleeping serenely in my arms, smh. I was feeding her
and she just fell asleep. I’m still sitting on the rocking
couch in her nursery, I’m scared to get up cause she
might wake up. I decide to just rest my head back and I
close my eyes.

I feel someone standing over us. I open my eyes

indolently and they are met with my husband’s eyes. For
a minute I think I’m dreaming but the small stitch on his
forehead confirms that I’m not dreaming.

“She’s perfect.” That’s the first thing he says before

wiping his tears. When did he become such a cry baby?

I just smile up at him trying to stop my own tears from

falling.
“You did it again baby. You brought a perfect little
princess into this world.” He says.
“We brought her into this world together. Do you want
to hold her?”
“Won’t she wake up? You guys were sleeping so
peacefully I’m sorry to wake you.”
“That’s alright. Baby there’s daddy, do you want to meet
daddy?” I whisper to the sleeping Oratile before handing
her to Jason.

“Hello daddy’s little princess..” he whispers holding her in

his arms.
“Why do you look so much like daddy?” he says.
What?
“You wish, she looks like me.”

By the way I still can’t figure out who this baby looks like.
Sometimes she looks like me, sometimes she looks like
her father and sometimes she just looks like Quinn when
she was a baby.
The look Jason has on his face is priceless. I see a
different Jason right now – a soft, gentle Jason. He plants
a delicate kiss on her forehead. Watching them together
melts my heart away. My two precious gifts which I can
never thank the Lord enough for. I’m surprised Oratile
hasn’t woken up, she must be sensing that she’s in her
daddy’s arms.

“Babe let me go and put her down before she wakes up.”
I say getting up.
“Where’s her crib?” he asks.
“I moved it to our bedroom.”
“It’s okay I’ll take her there.” He says and he starts
walking out quietly, I follow behind them. We get to our
room and he hands her to me. I lay her inside her cot and
I turn on the baby monitor.

Again we walk out of our bedroom quietly.

“Don’t you want to rest a bit?” I ask.
“Do you know how tired I am of being in bed?”
“The doctor told me you need to rest though, come on
we’ll chill in the living room then.” I say and he smiles
before actually walking downstairs.

We settle on the couch and I make sure he’s comfortable

putting a cushion behind him to support his head.
“Are you hungry?” I ask.
“No my love stop stressing about me and sit here with
your husband.” He says.

I sit next to him and I wrap my arm around him with my

head on his chest hoping I’m not hurting him.
“I’m so sorry sthandwa sam.” He says and he kisses the
top of my head.

Does he have to bring this up today?

“It wasn’t your fault.” I say.

“No I should’ve been careful, I almost killed you and
happy feet. And the fact that I wasn’t by your side when
you delivered kills me.”
“Accidents happen babe, it’s not something you should
be kicking yourself about. We made it alive and that’s all
that matters.”

I lift my head and I look at him.

“Does it hurt?” I ask touching his stitch gently.
“It hurts sometimes but the medication I’ve been taking
numbs it. How are your stitches?”
“Trust me you don’t want to see that, cleaning it is the
worst.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing please or I’m sending you back to
hospital.” I say and he laughs.
“So when can we start making another baby?” he says.
“We? You’ll make that baby alone, count me out.”
“Haibo you do know that I want at least 6 kids right?”
“With whose vagina?”
“My wife’s vagina.”
“Do you perhaps have a second wife that I don’t know
about?”
“Maybe..”
“Good then she’ll give you those six kids cause I’m done.”
“Lies we’re not done..” he says and he holds my waist
leaning his upper body over me and he starts kissing me.
I feel him attempting to lift up my sweater.

“We have to wait for my stitch to heal babe..” I say and

he withdraws.
“How long will it take?”
“I don’t know but I also need it to heal ASAP so I can start
burning all this baby fat.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you.”
“I mean it.”
I just smile up at him before resting my head on his chest
again. Oh I just remembered…

I lift my head again to look at him.

“When last did you speak to your father?” I ask.
He just shrugs.
“Jase…”
“What? I don’t have anything to say to him.”
“He’s your father.”
“My father who cheated on my mother whilst she was
pregnant.”
“I know he put your mom through the worst thing a
woman can ever go through but you can’t stay mad at
him forever, at some point you have to forgive him, not
for him but for yourself. You need to let go of all the
anger you have towards him, life is too short Jason,
imagine if we had died in that accident? Imagine your
father having to live knowing that his only son died
hating him?”

He shakes his head.

“I can’t forgive him Bulelwa.”

Sigh. This is going to be harder than I thought.

“Baby think about Oratile, she deserves to have a
relationship with her grandfather. If you can’t do it for
yourself then do it for her.”

It’s his turn to sigh.

“I’m not saying you guys should be best father and son
but at least try to be civil with him. I’m sure if he could
undo what he did, he would. We all make mistakes.”

I’m not going to tell him his mother actually blames me

for the accident.

“I also have something I need to speak to you about.” He

says changing the subject.
“First promise me you will try and sort things out with
your father.”
“I’ll try.”
“Thank you. So what do you want to speak to me
about?”
“It’s about Q.”
Okay....

“What about her?”

“Her surname.”
“Ohh…” I say cause I don’t know what else to say.
“You do realize that we now all have the same surname
in this house including Bebe. I would hate that at some
point she feels left out because she’s the only one with a
different surname, I know she’s too young to understand
anything right now but she won’t be seven years old
forever.”

I remain silent cause I honestly don’t know what to say

but I get what he’s saying.

“So… I was thinking, how about we change her surname

to Lekoane as well?”
“Is that even legal? Since she’s not a Lekoane?”
“If I officially adopt her as my child then it would be
legal.”
I exhale.
“I don’t know Jase, I honestly don’t know.”
Why did he bring up this topic?
“I don’t expect you to make a decision now and
remember that I’m not forcing you into anything.”
“I know.”
“And also know that I take Q as my daughter. I love her
as my daughter.”
“I’ll speak to my mom about it first.” I don’t know if this
is allowed culturally. And what happens when she finds
out Jason is not her real father but she has his surname?
Will his family even accept that? Especially his mom?

“You remember when you went to Amsterdam? I was

teaching her how to play the piano and she’s actually a
faster learner than you.” He says.

I think he senses that I’m stressing about this now and

he’s trying to get my mind off it.
I look at him and I roll my eyes.
“No seriously I have a video to show you.” He reaches for
his phone in his pocket.
“See here.” He says and he plays the video.

Okay this is cute, why haven’t I seen this video before?

But he’s lying, she’s singing and pressing any key like how
I do when I play the piano. Maybe her singing is better
than my singing but not her piano skills. Gosh she’s as
cute as a button! Don’t ask me how I make such perfect
babies cause I also don’t know but I love it, it makes me
want to pop out 50 kids.

The video suddenly pauses and a text message pops up.

“Baby I’m worried about you.” – it’s from an unsaved

number.

I shift my eyes from the phone to look at him. My

breathing rate has already ascended. So he’s busy
judging his father whilst he’s doing the exact same thing?
....to be continued.
....Continuation.

I just look at him waiting for him to talk.

“Baby it’s not what you think it is.”
“Who is that? Who just texted you Jason?” I’m trying to
control my breathing.
“I don’t know, you saw it’s from an unsaved number.”

Wow..

“Please don’t make me a fool, give me your phone.”

“You can’t go through my phone Bulelwa.”
“Okay.” I say getting up but he pulls my arm.

“Don’t hold me wenanja!” I shout.

“Stop cursing and sit down.” He says calmly.
“No I’m giving you the freedom to do whatever you
want, I’ll take my kids and we’ll leave your house in
peace.” Honestly I’m not going to fight with him for
cheating again.
“I’m not cheating Bulelwa that text is from Katlego, here
take my phone cause clearly you don’t trust me.”

Katlego? What the hell?

I take his phone but I don’t sit. I go straight to his text

messages and I click on that number. There are tons of
messages, I see he hasn’t replied to any of them but he
could’ve deleted his replies. I scroll up to the very the
first one.

“Lisebo you can’t keep blocking my numbers.”

“Baby I’m trying but I can’t live without you.”

Shame.

“Please pick up your phone.”

“Lisebo when will you realize she doesn’t love you?”

Lol really?

“Baby why are you doing this to me? Can you at least
pick up your phone.”

“I love you Lisebo, I hope the moment you realize that it

won’t be too late.”

“Do you think she’ll still be with you when she finds out
all the money you have you make it out of selling drugs?”

I halt from scrolling down and I look up at him before

reading that text again cause I think I misread it.

No I did not marry a drug dealer. My husband has

legitimate businesses. I suddenly remember my mom’s
words when she came here, “So what illegal stuff are you
into?”.
“You sell drugs?” I ask looking at him.
“What? Where do you get that from?” he asks trying to
hide his shock.
“Do you sell drugs Jason?” I shout.
“Hey don’t shout, there’s someone in the kitchen.” He
whispers.

Aunt Patty is in the kitchen.

“You never cease to surprise me.” I throw his phone at

him and I just walk away.

“Baby wait.. Bulelwa don’t walk away from me!”

I just did.

I walk upstairs and I go to one of the guestrooms. I throw

myself on the bed and I just stare at the ceiling. Who
exactly did I marry? What did I get myself into? This
splendid lifestyle we live, it’s all drugs money? My kids
are being raised with drugs money? He spoils me with
drugs money? I had my dream wedding because of drugs
money? My company was started with drugs money? I’m
not sure if I even want that company anymore. This
explains why he never wants to discuss his business with
me, he’s always so secretive.

He walks in as I’m caught up in my deep thoughts.

“Can we talk?” he says.

“Unfortunately I don’t talk to drug peddlers.” I say and I
turn my head to face the other way.
“Bulelwa please..”
“What Jason? Ngikhathele amanga akho.”
“What?”

Sigh.

He can’t honestly tell me he doesn’t understand what I

just said. It’s simple Zulu, even a TshiVenda or a Japanese
speaking person would get that.
“You’ve been dishonest with me our entire relationship. I
married you knowing you have authorized businesses.”
“I do.”

I raise my body sitting upright.

“You’re still lying.”

“I’m not lying, all my businesses that you know about do
exist.”
“And the drugs your wife was talking about?”
“She’s not my wife Bulelwa.”
“No she’s your wife. She knows everything about you and
I don’t.”

He decides to sit next to me and he places his hand on

my thigh. I have the urge to remove it but I don’t.
“Baby you have to understand that I didn’t tell you about
the drug business only cause I was protecting you and I
hate that you found out about it.”

“Protecting me from what exactly Lisebo?”

“Exactly this. You don’t know anything Bulelwa and I’d be

happy if it stayed that way.”

Really? I just found out you’re a whole drug merchant

and you’re telling me I don’t know anything?

“What happened to telling each other everything? What

happened to supporting each other no matter what?
How am I supposed to be a supportive wife if you hide
some things from me?” Not that I’m going to support his
drug dealing business. Of course not.

He breathes out and he takes my hand.

“There’s something you don’t understand. It’s not just
about selling drugs, it comes with a lot more which I
don’t want my wife to be stressing herself about. If I tell
you everything, you would wish I never told you. I have a
reason for keeping you in the dark and I am not about to
change that.”

I extrude a deep sigh. Now I feel like I married a stranger.

I’m afflicted. I want to know what is he talking about but
at the same time I don’t want to know if it will jeopardize
my peace.

“But I am not going to be a drug dealer’s wife Jason. That

is not the life I signed up for when I agreed to marry you.
Think about my kids! I have no choice but to make you
chose, you chose me.. or you continue with your drug
business and we part our ways.”

Would I really leave him if he said he can’t stop the drug

business or am I fooling myself?
“Baby I’m not planning on trading drugs for the rest of
my life. I’m trying to start up more legitimate businesses
with the money I make from that and as soon as I’m
satisfied with the money I make legally, I will stop. It’s
not the life I have planned for myself either.”

“Don’t you make enough money from the businesses you

have already?”

“No, not even close. I make like 5.5 million a year and
that’s like petty cash for me.”

What? How much exactly does he want to make kanti?

I’m sorry but that’s a humble brag.

“Jase that’s enough for us to live a comfortable life.”

He starts laughing. He’s going to piss me off cause I don’t

see a joke in any of this.
“Babe that only covers like 4 of our car instalments for a
year.”

Those are his cars then cause I know my cars don’t cost
that much. No I’m lying, I actually don’t know how much
my cars cost.

“So how much does the drug business earn you?”

“About R45 000 daily.”

My eyes pop all out. R45 000 daily? How much is that a
month? I don’t care though, I still want him to stop.

“You remember when I found out about your wife in the

beginning of our relationship, I asked you if there was
anything else you were hiding from me, you said no
knowing very well you’re hiding this. I’m going to ask you
again today, is there something else that I should know
about besides this?”
“No.”

“You sure?” I ask looking straight into his eyes.

“Yeah..”

“Well then good. Oh and please do me one more favour,

block your wife’s number cause I don’t know why haven’t
you blocked it.”

“Would you please stop calling her my wife Bulelwa, I

don’t like that and it will piss me off if you continue.”

I just get up and I walk out of the bedroom only to be

met with Quinn coming upstairs.

“Baby you’re back, how was school?”

“It was okay, I got a star for my spelling test.”
“Good job!”
“Where’s Happy Feet?”
“She’s sleeping. Guess who’s here?”
“Who?”
“Give me a kiss first and I’ll tell you.”

She rolls her eyes before coming to me. I bend forward

and I peck her lips.

“I love you.” I say.

“I love you. Who’s here?”
“Daddy’s home.”
“What?” her face instantly lightens up. “Where is he?”
“In there.” I point at the opened guestroom where I left
him.
“Dad!” she screams running there.
“Don’t scream you’ll wake the baby.” I say and I walk into
our bedroom to check if she’s actually still sleeping cause
the baby monitor has been quiet for too long now.

---
I literally freeze in shocked when I see my mom. What
happened to her? She has lost so much weight and her
skin is pale. She looks like death.

I asked Jason to fetch her since the baby can’t leave the
house yet.

“Mama..” I say slowly walking towards her.

“My child ndicela uxolo.” She says and she starts crying.
“It’s okay Mama, I’ve already forgiven you that’s why I
asked my husband to fetch you so you can meet the
baby.” I say touching her back.

“I haven’t been the best mom to you and your sister.”

“That’s all in the past now, I didn’t invite you here for
that. Let’s go and sit down, I’ll make you some tea.” I say
taking her hand and I lead her to the living room.

She sits on the couch and I go to the kitchen. I make tea

and biscuits for her before returning to the living room
and I give it to her. I also sit on another couch placing the
baby monitor on the coffee table. Honestly seeing her
like this breaks my heart. I don’t even know how to ask
what is wrong with her.

“How you’ve been? How is marriage life?” she asks.

“I’m good and marriage life is perfect, I can’t complain

about anything.”

“I’m happy to hear that.”

“How are you?”
“You don’t need to ask, you can see I’m dying.”
“Don’t talk like that, what happened?”
“I have kidney failure Bulelwa.”

What??

“How? When?” I’m speechless.

“I found out 3 months ago.”
“I’m sorry..” I honestly don’t know what else to say.
“I deserve it, I’m paying for being a bad mother to my
kids and for killing your father.”

Okay we are not going to get into that topic.

“I should probably go and get Oratile.” I say getting up

and I walk upstairs. I find her in her nursery chilling with
her father.

“There’s mommy and I know she came to fetch you

cause she’s jealous of us.”- Jason.

I roll my eyes.

“Come on baby we’re going to meet grandma.” I say

taking her from Jason’s arms.

She just shoots her eyes at me.

“Hey why you looking at me like that?”
“She can see you’re disturbing her bonding with daddy.”-
Jason.

“Don’t cry daddy I’ll bring her back.” I say walking out
with her. I go back downstairs. Honestly can’t we get an
elevator in this house cause these staircase will be the
death of me.

“Do you want to say hi to grandma?” I say and I hand her

to my mom.

“Oh Bulelwa she’s so beautiful, she looks like her father

though.”
“Hayi Mama she looks like me.” I disagree.
“You think? What’s her name?”
“Oratile Hailey - Grace.”
“Beautiful names. I love Grace.”
“Mom it’s Hailey - Grace, not just Grace.”
“Mm.”
“Oh and Quinn calls her Happy Feet.”
She laughs.

“Where is Vuyelwa anyway?”

“They went to the mall with Babalwa.”

Her face suddenly changes.

“Your sister still hates me?”

“She’s still angry with you but she doesn’t hate you.”
“I’m dying Bulelwa, she needs to forgive me.”

I feel tears stinging my eyes and I swallow the lump that

was about to form in my throat.

“Mama please stop saying that. We will find you the best
doctors.”
“Why would you do something like that for me? I don’t
deserve it.”
“You’re my mother. And I will talk to Babalwa.”
“And people still wonder why God has blessed you with
this life, it’s your kind heart. And he will still continue to
bless you.”

If only she knew it’s drugs money.

“I actually wanted to speak to you retarding Quinn’s

surname.”
“Mhm?”
“Well you know I’m a Lekoane now so Jason wanted to
change her surname to a Lekoane as well.”
“Njani?”
“He said something about officially adopting her. My
concerns are tradition, like is that allowed traditionally?
Can she use a surname that is not hers?”

I don’t want my child being tortured by bad spirits again.

“That can be very tricky but yes it is possible. He’ll have
to pay a lobola for the child and do a ceremony to
introduce her to his ancestors – it’s basically like the
marriage process.”

This is going to be harder than I thought cause it will

involve his family and uncles and all that.

“Do you want her to change to Lekoane?” she asks.

“I do but I’m not sure if it’s the right thing to do. Do you
think we should do it?”
“That is you and your husband’s decision to make.”

Geez woman you’ve been telling me what to do my

entire life and this one time I actually need you to tell me
what to do, you can’t? Sigh.

“If there’s one thing I can tell you though, that man loves
you very much and I’ve seen the way he is with Vuyelwa.
He loves her as well and I’m sure he only means well by
wanting to change her surname.”
I just bite my bottom lip. I still need to think thoroughly
about this.
....
Chapter Twenty Seven

3 years later…

“Baby are you okay?”

“Your child is just fighting with me today, I don’t know
what did I do.” I say slowly sitting on the bed.
“Buddy please stop abusing my wife.” He says touching
my stomach and he kisses it.

Yes I’m pregnant again, heavily pregnant and it’s finally a

boy this time. It wasn’t planned, it just happened like
how Oratile came unplanned. By the way we celebrated
her 3rd birthday last week and she’s literally the most
adorable toddler I’ve ever seen. She has a huge afro and
the most beautiful eyes. When she opens her mouth you
can’t help but laugh, her baby talk is hilarious and she’s
also a chatterbox. And then Quinn, huge sigh! She’s only
10 but she already behaves like a teenager. She’s no
longer my sweet baby…nah she’ll always be my baby. She
recently asked me why she has the type of hair she has, I
almost shitted myself. I ended up telling her some lie
about my father being mixed so she took after him, she
believed me. Oh and she also has the Lekoane surname
now, we changed it before we moved here. Guys Jason’s
mom! Yho she’s just a difficult person to work with.

You guys don’t know we stay in Jo’burg now? How come

cause we moved two years ago? We don’t stay in that
huge over the top triple storey house, it wasn’t homely
for me so we bought another house, a beautiful double
storey house. So now we have a total of three houses
plus my complex in Pmb lol I’m not ready to let go of it
yet. An Indian couple is renting there.

I’m guessing you also don’t know Babalwa is a

supermodel now? Yeap after passing her matric she told
us straight up that if we send her to varsity we’d be
wasting our money cause she’ll probably drop out and
focus on her modelling career. So instead she enrolled at
a modelling school and I must say it’s going pretty good
for her and she’s finally getting the fame she always
wanted. She travels around the world a lot doing
campaigns, photoshoots, fashion shows – she’s hardly
home. Oh no she doesn’t stay with us anymore, she’s 21
now remember? They share an apartment with Reneilwe
but it’s also here in Jozi. Remember I promised her to
give her my car if she passes her matric with at least 4
A's? She got 5 A’s but there was no need for me to give
her my car cause her brother bought her and Reneilwe
brand new VW Polos when they passed their matric.
Reneilwe is studying the same thing I studied –
Journalism and communication.

Oh about my magazine, Feminine – that’s the name. It

was launched last year and it’s doing quiet well. It’s a
women orientated magazine. It covers fashion, beauty,
food, gossip – basically everything woman. Yes I work like
I promised I would, I’m not a housewife! But right now
I’m on maternity leave and Jackie my executive manager
is in charge. Who am I kidding? I’m still working even on
my leave! I’m writing a non-fiction book about juggling
between being a wife, a mom and a career woman. I
used to blog about it and my followers suggested I write
a book so here I am already on chapter 5. The book is
titled “Mommy Fabulous”. NdiBusy guys nani yibani busy
and stop reading about my life. Haha I’m joking loves.
Come to think of it, everyone in this house works. Oratile
also does modelling like her aunt. A year ago we were at
the mall minding our business and then this white lady
who runs a kid's modelling agency just came up to us and
asked to sign her up. We couldn’t say no so yeah that’s
how she started. Quinn has her own fragrance line for
kids “UniQuinn” (it’s unicorn combined with her name).
We all bringing in money in this household, no pressure
spongebob. Sbongebob is this baby in my belly. Don’t ask
me cause I also don’t know how that name came about
but that’s what they call him in this house, it’s some sort
of inside joke between Quinn and Jason.

We helped my mom get a new kidney implant and she’s

way better now. She’s not fully back to her normal fit self
but I think that is just age catching up with her.

Anyway…My princess walks in our bedroom carrying a

packet of jelly tots.
“Are you eating candy again? Who gave you that?” I say.

“Dada..” She says.

“Jason really?” Why would he give her sweets at this

time?

“Rati you said you weren’t going to snitch on me!” he

says laughing.

“It’s really not funny. Give me that baby.” I say taking the
sweets from her.

I really love raising the kids with my husband but

sometimes it’s frustrating. No he’s frustrating cause he
can’t say no to the kids. Quinn asked for a cellphone and
I told her she’ll get a cellphone when she turns 12 and
guess what the man I decide to marry did? He went and
got her a flippen iPhone X. If I say I was livid that would
be an understatement, we had a serious fight about that.
And then we agreed that I will keep her phone and she’ll
only get it every day after she has done all her homework
and bring it back to me before she goes to bed. I go
through her phone daily to check what Apps does she
have, who is she texting, who is she calling, I even check
her browse history. She’s a huge Ariana Grande fan so
basically she uses her phone to get her music, follow her
on social media and engage with her other fans.

I take Oratile to the bathroom to brush her little teeth

before putting her in bed in her room. And then move on
to Quinn room.

“Nooo five more minutes!” she says when I enter.

“Did you see what time it is?”

“Mom five minutes won’t make any difference.”

“Tell me that when you don’t want to get up in the

morning. Give me the phone please.”
“Mom please!”

“Yeah I said please.”

She rolls her eyes before handing the phone to me.

“Did you brush your teeth?”

“Of course I did.”

“Okay goodnight.” I say and I bend over to kiss her

forehead. “I love you.”

She doesn’t say it back and I’m used to it now.

---

I’m woken by the alarm in the morning whilst my

husband is enjoying his beauty sleep, smh. I give him a
kiss and I drag myself out of bed, honestly can this baby
come out already! Sigh. I put on my robe and sleepers
and walk in the bathroom to urinate and brush my teeth
before going to Quinn’s room to wake her up which is
always a mission.

After taking a shower she gets ready before eating her

cereal whilst I’m in the kitchen packing her lunch for her.
She leaves with her driver and I go back straight to bed.
Rati goes to daycare but since I’m on leave she’s also on
leave. I love chilling with her during the day when
everyone is gone.

“Baby you have to get up now.” I say to Jason as I lie next

to him.

“No I’m not going to work today, I have a meeting with

someone but it will take place here in the house.”

“Oh…what time? Maybe Rati and I can go to the mall just

to give you space, you know how your daughter is.”
“No you don’t need to, we’ll be in the study.”

“Mhm.”

“When last did you receive morning delight?” he says his

hand going between my thighs.

“Morning delight for who?” I say and I open my legs

slightly to allow him in. Don’t look at me like that, it’s
good for the pregnancy.

“For us…” he says and he starts kissing my neck.

He strips off my pajamas before exploring every inch of

my body with his lips and tongue. He then turns me to lie
on my side and he gets behind me. He lifts up my leg and
I feel him entering me slowly causing me to cry out
softly. He starts moving in and out slowly. I’m just going
to lie here and enjoy this, enjoy my husband.
---

We take a shower and I watch him wear sweatpants and

a T-shirt. Isn’t it a formal meeting they having? Anyway…I
put on black leggings and a black long sleeved vest.

“Who are you mourning my love?” Jason says.

I ignore him and I just walk out of the closet and out of
the bedroom. I’m sure my baby is awake now.

And I guessed right. She’s lying on her bed playing alone

and talking a language only she can understand.

“Morning Rati..” I say and she turns her head to look at

me. Gosh that smile!

“I said good morning!” I say picking her up and I start

ticking her.
She starts giggling the life out of herself.

“Did you make a pee pee?” I say checking her pajama.

“Rati make pee pee?” she says.

“No you didn’t make a pee pee baby you’re a big girl
now.” I say and I kiss her. “Now let’s go and bath.”

“Rati bath?”

“Yes baby.” I say carrying her to the bathroom.

After giving her a bath, I dress her and I put her in her
highchair in the kitchen so I can feed her.

I see Buhle taking tea to Jason’s study so I’m assuming

they already started with their meeting. This girl doesn’t
listen, I always tell her she doesn’t have to wear the
helper’s uniform. She says okay when I tell her but still
wear it the next day so I’ve decided to just let her be. The
other helper – aunt Mary who is much older than her
doesn’t wear that uniform which I also personally hate.

Right now I’m sitting on the couch with my MacBook

continuing with my book whilst also keeping an eye on
Oratile who is on her mat on the floor playing with her
toys. I’ve moved the coffee table to give her space to
move around.

After like an hour I hear the study door open and I can
hear voices coming out and they sound very happy. I’m
assuming the meeting went well then. It’s sounds like
Jason is with a white guy.

As soon as they appear from the passageway, Rati

screams “Dada” and she runs to him whilst I’m frozen
here and I think my heart will beat out of my chest. No
my eyes are deceiving me, it can’t be the person I think it
is in my house.

Our eyes meet and he freezes as well.

“Bulelwa..” he says slowly. He’s also in disbelief.

My mouth immediately runs dry, it’s definitely him.

“Quinton..” I say.
....to be continued.

*
*
*
*
Loves I'm sorry it's very short, I'm caught up in
something.
....Continuation.

“Oh you guys know each other?”- Jason.

Oh yes we know each other very well. He’s the only guy
who has reached my sacred place other than you.

“Yes we attended the same high school. I think my water

just broke.” I say feeling myself getting wet which is
strange cause I don’t feel any contractions.

“I’ll get the driver, Mr Hudson I’ll give you a call.” Jason
says rushing out leaving me and Quinton here. Rati starts
crying for him and this motherfucker decides to pick her
up.

“Put my baby down and get out of my house Quinton!” I

shout but in a whisper.

“I’m sorry.” He says and he puts the baby down.

“Bulelwa we need to talk.”

“I said get out of my house!” I scream.

Where does he even get the nerve to say that? There’s
nothing for us to talk about, he’s as good as dead to me.

Jason runs back inside and Quinton decides to walk out.

“The car is ready, I’ll take Rati to Buhle and I’ll come and
help you out, please calm down.” He says.

I want to laugh cause I’m actually calm and he’s the one
who’s panicking. So seeing Quinn’s father, no correction
– seeing Quinn’s sperm donor has sent me to early labor.
I honestly never thought I would ever see him again. And
what meeting was he having with my husband?

He comes back and he helps me up taking me to the car.

It’s only when I stand on my feet that the contractions
start but they’re like 5 minutes apart which means I still
have a long way to go.
I get on the back sit with my husband and the chauffeur
is driving. I suddenly remember what happened last time
we were on the way to hospital with me in labor.

“You don’t have to rush.” I tell the driver. He wasn’t even

rushing.

I feel Jason squeezing my hand. I keep doing breathing

exercises and trying not to think about Quinton which is
so hard. Jason has already called my doctor.

“Are you okay?”- Jason.

“Mhm.”

“Your mind isn’t in this car with us.”

“Of course it’s not, I’m in labor baby.”

“I’ll be right next to you this time holding your hand.” He
says and he kisses my forehead.

The way I’m so calm actually freaks me out. Or is it

because there’s something else occupying my mind?
Okay my contractions are like 3 minutes apart now.

We get to the hospital and he wheels me to the ward.

The doctor immediately attends to us and I have to take
off my clothes and put on the hospital gown.

“Ahhh!” I scream writhing my body.

“What’s wrong?”- Jason.

“These contractions are getting serve now.”

Mind you, the doctor said I have like 8 hours before I can
push.
“I’m sorry.”

“Stop telling me you’re sorry, you need to stop doing this

to me Jason.”

“Doing what?”

“Getting me pregnant!” I say and I turn to lie on my side.

I start rubbing my lower back but he stops me and he
rubs me himself.

“You owe me a lot for this.” I say.

He chuckles.

“What do you want?”

“I’m still going to think about what I want.” I have

everything I want so I don’t know what I want.
He chuckles again.

“Right there Jason..” I say and I moan.

“Bulelwa please.” He says with a reprimanding voice.

“What? Oh God baby that feels so good…”

“I swear I will stop rubbing your back.”

“Please don’t stop..ahhh…” I moan again. Now I’m doing

it on purpose.

“Jesus! Thank god I wore sweatpants. You have no mercy

woman.” He says and I hold in my laughter. Men are so
weak mxm.

Six hours into labor and I delivered my healthy baby boy.

They had to induce me cause I couldn’t bare the pain
anymore. We decide to name him Lisebo Junior. He’s so
perfect, I never disappoint, I make perfect babies my
womb is golden. And you can already tell he looks like his
father. He has so much hair for a boy. The look on Jason’s
face when he held him for the first time made my eyes
water. Or is it still the hormones messing with me?
Anyway..I think he’s more excited about this baby cause
it’s a boy. He said he’s tired of being surrounded by
women only in the house.

---

We finally arrive home with Junior after being in hospital

for 2 days. I suddenly remember about his nursery - it’s
not ready and I am to blame. Jason tried to get an
interior designer to do it but I insisted that I wanted to
decorate it myself. I bought everything and it was
delivered but it’s still in boxes and wrapping plastics in
there. This house has to walk-in closets/dressing rooms
in our bedroom but Jase and I decided to share a closet
for now and make the other one a nursery then when
the baby is six months old, we can move the nursery to
another room.
“Baby I know you told me and I’m sorry. But you know I
still had a week before my due date, I was going to do it
during that week.” I say before he shouts at me.

“What are you talking about?”

“The nursery.”

He chuckles.

“Don’t worry about that, it’s done already.” He says.

“How? When?”

“When you were still in hospital.”

“Oh. Did you do it?”

“No what do I know about decorating nurseries? I got
someone to do it.”

“I have to go and see it.” I say already walking upstairs.

“By the way where’s Rati?” I shout.

“She’s sleeping.” He shouts back.

Okay maybe we shouldn’t be shouting then.

Okay this nursery is beautiful, obviously they did a better

job than what I would have done. I think that human size
brown teddy bear in his co will scare my baby though.
Jason also walks in the closet still holding him.

“I think he’s fallen asleep again.” He whispers.

“Let’s hope he’s not a sleeper by day and a crier by night

like your daughter.” I say taking him and I put him in the
cot before switching on the baby monitor.
“It’s back to walking around with monitors.” He says.

“Yep!”

And these monitors are advanced beyond my

imagination now. They tell you the baby’s temperature,
the baby’s heart rate and they have cameras.

We walk out and I go to Rati's room, I missed my baby

but she’s sleeping. I kiss her forehead and her eyes shoot
open. Oops.
She looks a bit confused.

“Hi Rati…I’m sorry to wake you.” I’m not sorry.

“Mama..” she says.

“Yes baby it’s me.” I say and I pick her up. She still looks
confused and now I feel guilty for disrupting her sleep.
“Do you want to sleep?”

She shakes her head and she rubs her eyes.

“Okay let’s go and see Dada.”

“Dada?” she finally smiles. Like really Oratile? So much

for missing you.

“Ratiiiiii!” Jason shouts when he sees us walking down

the stairs. “Bulelwa did you just wake my child?”

“N-no…she was already up.”

Ssh don’t tell him or I’ll get in trouble.

“Come here Rati!”

Haibo! Can’t he see I’m still carrying her? I haven’t seen
my baby in two days and he saw her everyday, why is he
selfish?

“I’m still carrying her Jase.”

“But she wants to come to me.”

“Fine! Take her!” I say putting Rati down furiously and I

just walk upstairs. I go to my boy, I know he’s still
sleeping but I’ll just chill in the nursery with him.

They walk in the nursery 5 minutes after me.

“Can you guys leave us alone please.” I say.

“Tell mommy we don’t want to..”- Jason.

“Don wa- to.” Oratile says.

“You’re really teaching this child to be rude to me?” I say
shaking my head.

“Rati look here, who’s this?” he says showing Rati the

baby inside the cot. Oratile widens her eyes.

“A baby..” she says.

“That’s right. It’s your brother..” He says.

“A baby!” Oratile insists causing me to laugh.

Quinn also came back from school and met her brother.
The obsession she had with Oratile she was an infant is
now shifted to Junior. When I gave her her phone she
couldn’t stop taking pictures and videos of him. I can’t
believe I’m actually 27 and already a mother of 3, yikes.

---
“Baby what was the meeting you had with Quinton
about?” I ask as I get in bed next to my husband after
putting Junior to sleep.

“Oh just corporate stuff. How do you guys know each

other?”

“I told you we attended the same high school.”

“That’s it? You seemed fazed when you saw him?”

“I was fazed cause my water broke.” I lie. “Is he also in

the Law domain?”

“Yeah something like that.”

“Is he married? Does he have any kids?”

“I don’t know, why are you so inquisitive about him?”

“No…I’m just..I’m just curious about how his life has
been.”

I can’t tell him now that he’s Quinn’s father, I still need
more information from him about Quinton. But he can’t
honestly tell me he doesn’t see the resemblance? I know
Quinn looks like me but she has his eyes and nose and
obviously her hair speaks volumes about her father’s
race. Or maybe he sees it but he’s just being oblivious?

---

Jason is at work right now so it’s safe to call my skat and

tell her the gossip. It rings twice.

“Bitch!”

Yeah I’m a married woman with three kids but she still
calls me a bitch.
“Sli you won’t believe who showed up at my house a few
days ago.”

“Who? The whore from Australia?”

“No, it’s a he.”

“Oh God Khaya?”

I’ll tell you guys the story about Khaya later.

“No. It’s Mr hit and run.”

We had nicknamed our baby daddies “Mr hit and run”.

“Haibo which one?”

“My one.”
“Say whaaaaaat?”

“Mhmmm. It sent me straight into early labor.”

“Wait you gave birth already? Why wasn’t I told?”

“Sli can you focus on the issue at hand, we’ll get to that
later.”

“Okay okay so what does he want?”

“He actually came for a meeting with Jason, he was just

as shocked to see me.”

“Oh my God! What did he say?”

“He actually said he wants us to talk.”

“What the fuck? Talk about what? Does your husband
know he’s the baby daddy?”

“No I haven’t told him yet but I also need to talk to him. I
need to clarify some things to him.”

“You not thinking of letting him in Quinn’s life right?”

“Of course not. Am I crazy?”

“Mhm, keep me updated on what happens. Also, you

should tell your husband.”

“I will.”

We carry on talking and she asks about the babies, she

promised to make time next month to come and see
Junior.
I decided to google Quinton which was useless cause I
got nothing besides the university he went to. And it’s
frustrating cause I can’t keep questioning Jason about
him cause he’ll become suspicious. So I actually stole his
number from Jason’s phone and set up a meeting with
him without Jason’s knowledge. I know I’m taking a huge
risk here but there are things I need to clear out with
him, he mustn’t dare think I’ll allow him in my daughter’s
life.

---

Jason still has people following me so we had to meet at

my workplace, he won’t question why I went to my
offices.

I check on my stuff as I’m still waiting for him. I must

commend Jackie for doing an incredible job running this
place, I know my sales dropped by 1.1% but I can’t blame
her for that. They also drop when I’m around, it’s
something we have no control over. I see she handing a
written warning to Sizwe, the fashion and trends
columnist (yes he’s gay). Sizwe gives me trouble all the
time but he’s also good at what he does. I remember he
sent me a screenshot of our WhatsApp conversation
cause I needed it for something and he didn’t even hide
the fact that he saved my number as Wicked Witch –
with a heart next to it. Sigh. And no I’m not a horrible
boss, he’s just dramatic.

I get a text from Quinton telling me that he’s here. I tell

him to come to the 4th floor, that’s where my office is at
as I also take a lift there.

He walks in just as I sit on my chair behind my desk. He

didn’t even knock.

“Bulelwa! You not even going to get up to give me a

hug?” He says.

I just look at him.

“I see life it treating you good. Are you good though? It
felt like a dream seeing you the other day.”

“Quinton we’re not here for chitchat, we not friends.” I

say with a straight face.

He chuckles.

“I see you haven’t changed, you’re still the same Bulelwa

you were 10 years ago.”

“Whatever. So what did you want to talk to me about?”

He finally takes a seat and he becomes serious.

“You know what we need to talk about.” He says.

“No I don’t.”
“Come on Bulelwa, you can’t crucify me for something I
did whilst I was still young and dumb.”

I laugh.

“I guess you’ve been dumb your whole life then.”

He sighs.

“Is it a girl or boy?”

Imagine a father asking that question about their child

who is now 10 years old.

“Why do you care?”

“It’s also my child Bulelwa.”

“No. You told me to kill your child and I did.”

“We both know that is not true.”

“Listen Quinton, I know by the devils work we have

crossed paths again but you need to stay away from me
and my family. My child has a father and she doesn’t
need you. Don’t even think at some point I’ll allow you in
her life cause you’d be fooling yourself. Whatever
business you have with my husband, keep it at that, you
and I are as good as strangers.”

“So it’s a girl. I have a little girl. What’s her name?”

I feel like taking everything I see here and throw it at

him.

“Don’t you dare fucking tell me you have a little girl. My

child has lived almost half of her life without a father! I
have had to live with the guilt of depriving her a father.
She doesn’t know you even exist and it will remain that
way.”
“It’s no use fighting with me cause if I took you to court, I
would gain rights to be in her life.”

My heart rate picks up instantly but I don’t want to show

him that he just scared me.

“You wouldn’t dare do that!”

“Try me.”

“Why are you doing this?”

“I told you you can’t crucify me for something I did a

decade ago. I’ll tell you what, just let me meet her once
and I promise after that I will leave you and your family
alone. I just want to see her.”

“No. You can’t do that, you can’t meet my child.”

“I’ll see you in court then.” He says getting up. “By the
way she looks so much like my sister.” He says with a
cheeky smile as he opens the door to leave. How does
he- oh shit! Quinn’s picture on my desk! And it’s a recent
school photo. Oh good job Bulelwa!

---

It’s Friday afternoon and I’m chilling with my babies

waiting for my other baby to come back from school and
my husband to come back from work. I haven’t heard
anything from Quinton these past two weeks and I don’t
know how to feel about. I’ve been texting him trying to
come to an agreement with him but he has never
responded so I’ve decided I’m going to tell Jason the
truth incase he really takes me to court, which I think he
will.

Oh my hubby is calling me.

“Hey boo..” I say. I’m actually in a very good mood today,

it’s Friday for goodness sake.
“Sthandwa sam did you fetch Q from school?”

“No, was I supposed to fetch her?”

He goes silent.

“Jason?”

“Her driver called me just now saying he can’t find her

and he has been looking for her around the school for an
entire hour now and all the kids have left.”

No! Quinton!
....
Chapter Twenty Eight

Quinton’s POV
That’s definitely her. That’s the girl I saw on the picture
on Bulelwa’s desk. She looks like my sister so much and
she has my eyes. She’s wearing her school blazer over a
very short dress which looks like some sport uniform and
running sneakers. Her long dark brown hair is tied up in a
high ponytail. She’s a goddess like her mother. Bulelwa
thinks she’ll keep my child away from me after I’ve
already missed out on 10 years of her life? I know it’s my
fault but I’m here now, I deserve to be in her life.

I finally get out of the car and all three girls stop their
conversation to look at me.

“I came to get you.” I say smiling at my daughter.

“Me?” she frowns.

“Yes. Your drive is stuck somewhere so your father asked

me to get you.”
“I know everyone who works for my dad, why haven’t I
seen you before?”

Hmm smarty I see.

“Well you need to ask him that.”

“What is my dad’s name?”

“You honestly think I don’t work for your father?”

“No.”

“Your father’s name is Jason. Should I tell you your

mother’s name as well?”

She gives me a look before bidding farewell to her friends

and she walks to the car leaving her bags there.
“Your bags?” I ask.

“Vincy-“ she stops herself and she goes to pick up her

bags. It’s her school bag and a tennis bag.

“This driver is making you carry your bags? My dad would

fire him.” That’s one of her friends.

Yeah this is the school where all rich brats attend.

“Don’t forget to text me Quinn!” the other friend shouts

as she gets in the car.

“I will.”

So Quinn is the name. Bulelwa named her after me? Who

would have thought?

I get in the car and I look at her in the rearview mirror.

“is your seatbelt on?” I ask.

She nods.

I drive away. There’s silence in the car but when she

finds out I’m her daddy, we’ll have so much fun together.
I can’t believe I’m actually in the same car with my child –
it’s a feeling I can’t explain.

“That is not the way home, I will tell dad and you are so
fired.” She says when I take the route to Courtney’s (my
fiancée) place. I can’t take her to my house cause I know
they’ll come and look for her there. She’s going to stay
with Courtney for now until we move to Scotland next
week.

We arrive and the securities open the gate for us.

“Whose house is this? Why are we here?” my daughter

asks.
“This is your new home for now my sweetheart. Come
on.” I say getting out of the car and I open her door.

“No take me home, this is not my home!”

“Don’t make this difficult for me Quinn, come on.” I take

her bags and she gets out reluctantly.

“Did my parents buy a new house? Whose car is that?”

I’ve decided to not answer to any of her questions until

we get inside the house.

“Honey, you’re back!” that’s Court when I open the front

door.

“My love..” I kiss her and I kiss her growing belly. She’s 4
months pregnant.
“So this is the little princess? Hi my angel I’m Courtney,
and you are? Sorry your dad didn’t tell me your name.”

“My name is Quinn. Where is my dad and why am I here?

Where’s mom?”

“Uhm..Quinn I’m your father and you’re going to stay

here with aunty Courtney for now.”

“You are not my dad, I don’t know you and I don’t even
like you. Please take me home.”

“That man is not your father, I’m your father!” I snap.

This child is frustrating like her mother.

“Honey please..” Courtney reprimands me. “Come on my

angel, I’ll show you your room. Your dad and I tried
decorating it.”

“No I want to go home!” she starts crying.

She’s going to get on my nerves now.

“Okay I have to go now. Court remember you don’t call

me, I call you, don’t get out of the house under any
circumstances. I’ll see you guys next week and please
Court don’t even try to do anything stupid cause you
know you will suffer serious consequences. I trust you
guys will use this time to get to know each other before
we go and start our new lives together in Scotland. I love
you.” I kiss Court and my daughter on her forehead.

….

Bulelwa’s POV

I’m pacing around the lounge as I’m impatiently waiting

for Jason to come home. I tried calling this motherfucking
Quinton and it said the number does not exist. I smashed
my phone on the floor and now I’m phoneless.
I know what being forcefully taken away feels like and I
can’t even imagine my baby going through that. My
stupidity has put my child’s life in danger again. I
shouldn’t have had that meeting with that asshole and I
should have told my husband the truth.

The front door finally opens after what felt like forever. I
didn’t even hear him drive in.

“Baby I’m sorry.” I say and I start crying.

“Why are you apologizing? Tell me who took my child

and I will go and fetch her, there’s no need for crying.”

“It’s Quinton.. Quinton took her.” I say in a shaky voice.

“Mr Hudson? Why would you think that?”

“He’s uhm..he’s her father.”

“What? How did he- Bulelwa you’re not making any
sense right now.”

I wipe my tears and I tell him everything including the

meeting we had.

“Are you fucking crazy? Do you know how dangerous

that man is?” he screams holding my upper-arms and
shaking me.

“Please you’re hurting me.” I shrug my arms for him to

let go. “What do you mean he’s dangerous?”

“That man is a fucking drug merchant Bulelwa, he’s in

partnership with very dangerous men from Russian.
Those people aren’t scared to kill!”

What is this man saying to me?

“So you lied to me? You told me he’s in the law industry.
Are you also still in the drug business?”
He told me he stopped that.

“Damn it woman! That man took my child and you’re

questioning me about my business?”

“I’m sorry..”

“Stop with your stupid tears and pray that my child will
come back home safe or else… damn it! I need to make a
call.” He says before storming outside.

What have I done? My baby…Lord please protect her

wherever she is.

The stupid baby monitor decides to come alive at this

moment! Like really Junior? You’re going to wake up
now? I wipe my tears and I rush upstairs. I take Junior
from his cot and I hush him. He stops crying, I kiss his
forehead and I put him back in his cot putting his pacifier
in his mouth.
I leave him and I go back down stairs. I don’t know what
to do but I can’t just sit when that dog has my child. I
know it’s my fault but it’s also Jason’s fault cause he
brought him to our house knowing very well he’s a
dangerous man. And he also lied when I asked about his
occupation.

I see him walking back in the house.

“Should we call the police?” I ask.

“No. Don’t dare call the police. I’ve instructed the

securities to not let anyone in. I’m going to find my child,
I’ll call you.”

“Call me on Quinn’s phone, my phone broke.” I say and

he just leaves.

I hope he heard that.

I can’t even imagine what my poor baby is going through
right now. Where is she at this very moment? Who is she
with? Maybe they’ve told her the truth and she already
hates me. But I don’t care about that right now, all I’m
concerned about is her safety.

---

It’s 2.04 am when Jason walks in the house without my

baby as I’m still sitting in the lounge blaming myself for
everything. I couldn’t sleep knowing my child is
somewhere out there crying and begging to go home. I
know that awful feeling at firsthand, I’ve experienced
that.

“Did you find her?” I ask getting up.

Obviously he didn’t find her cause he didn’t come back

with her but I don’t want to believe that.
“We found that bustard but he’s denying that he took my
child.”

“What? What has he done to my baby?” I release fresh

tears.

“Don’t start with your fucking tears please cause they

won’t help you right now, you still going to pay for this
Bulelwa. You put my child’s life in danger!”

“I know it’s my fault okay! Hit me if you want to!”

He looks at me and he clicks his tongue before walking

away.

I sit on the couch and I sob my lungs out. Now I’m not
sure if I’m crying for my baby or if I’m crying cause my
husband is furious with me or if I’m crying for both.
After wiping my tears and composing myself, I walk
upstairs and I find Jason in our bedroom but in the
balcony.

“Where is he?” I ask standing behind him.

“We let him go.”

“How can you let him go when he still has my child?”

He turns around and he walks closer to me. For a

moment I get scared.

“I told you he works with very dangerous Russian men, I

don’t want to put my whole family in danger. He thinks
we let him go but he doesn’t know he’s still under our
watch. We also gathering more information about him.
Trust me sthandwa sam we will find our child and she’ll
come back home safe.” He says wrapping his arms
around me and he kisses my forehead.
I’ve caused a whole mess with just one stupid move.

….

Narrated

Quinn was crying begging Courtney to take her home.

She didn’t understand one bit what the hell was going
on? Why has she been taken away? Who is this white
man claiming to be her father? Why did he leave her with
this pregnant woman and said he’ll see them next week?
Who is going to Scotland and why?

“Calm down angel, I’m not going to harm you.” Courtney

tried to calm her.

“I want to go home!” Quinn demanded.

Courtney didn’t know what to say so she just decided to

hold her in a hug. She also didn’t like what was going on,
a child being forcefully taken away from her family. She
thought of her own child growing in her belly and
imagined him going through this. But how will she help
her? Quinton knows everything that she does on her
phone so calling Quinn’s mother is out of the question.
The bodyguards at the gate would never allow her to
drive out so taking her home is also out of the question.
Come on, there has to be away I can help her without
getting caught – she thought to herself.

Since there are chips planted around this entire house

where Quinton listens to their conversations, Courtney
leaned in on Quinn’s ear and she whispered.

“You have to go to bed now angel, tomorrow I will try

and help you get back home.” She gave her hope even
though she didn’t know how was she going to help. “And
if you need to say something, please whisper it to my ear
cause our conversations are being listened to.” She
added.
“If I go to bed, do you promise to take me home
tomorrow?” Quinn also whispered in Courtney’s ear.
Courtney nodded.

She helped her take off her uniform and found pajamas
in the clothes Quinton bought for her and she helped her
put them on. Quinn signaled for Courtney to bring in her
ear.

“Is that man really my father?” She whispered.

Courtney hesitated before nodding.

“Why don’t I know him though?” Quinn whispered to

Courtney’s ear again.

“Your mother will explain everything to you okay?”

Courtney whispered back even though she wasn’t sure if
Quinn was ever going to see her mother again.
“Goodnight angel, should I turn out the lights?” Courtney
spoke in a normal voice now but Quinn just shook her
head. She kissed her forehead before walking out and
closing the door behind her.

She went to her room and she thought really hard of how
she was going to help Quinn escape but her mind was
just blank. She thought of something else – spending the
rest of her life with the monster that is her fiancé. This is
not the man she feel in love with in college. This business
he’s into has really changed him. Yes he gets her
everything she wants but this is not the life she had
imagined they would live. This is not what she wants for
her son – their son.

She dozed off somewhere in her thoughts and when she

woke up in the morning she took a shower and went to
check on Quinn who seemed like she was still sleeping.
She remembered she had promised to help her get back
home but she still didn’t know how was she going to do
that.
She received a call from her fiancé as she was in the
kitchen making breakfast thinking of what Quinn’s
mother must be going through right now.

“Morning honey.” She answered.

“Good morning darling, how did you guys sleep?”

“We slept well daddy…” she said trying to sound as

normal as possible.

“Has my daughter woken up?”

“No she’s still sleeping.”

“What are you doing right now?”

“I’m making breakfast honey so she can eat when she

gets up.”
“Okay my love. I will call you later. Kiss both my babies
for me.” He said before hanging up.

Quinton still had love in him but the problem starts when
he has taken the drugs, that’s when he becomes a violent
person. He doesn’t only sell drugs, he’s hooked on them
too.

Courtney was done making breakfast and she was

cleaning up the mess she had made when she saw Quinn
appear in the kitchen still wearing her short pink
pajamas. Her ponytail was now messy and she was bared
foot.

“Morning angel..how did you sleep? I made pancakes for

breakfast, do you like pancakes?” She said.

Quinn nodded.

“Right you can sit right here, I will dish up for you.” She
said opening the highchair for her.
Quinn climbed on the chair and Courtney placed a plate
of two pancakes with bacon and a bottle of syrup in front
of her. She watched as Quinn squirted the syrup on the
pancakes. Quinn’s pajama top caught her attention. It
had a picture of a lady taking a selfie and on top it was
written “#InstaFamous”. An idea immediately came to
her mind. She thought this child is 10 which means she
probably has a cellphone but she wasn’t sure if she has
any social media.

She moved closer to Quinn and whispered in her ear.

“Do you have a cellphone?” she asked.

Quinn nodded with her mouthful.

“Do you have any social media?” Courtney asked.

Quinn nodded again.

“Does your mom have any social media?”

“She only has Instagram and twitter but she doesn’t use
twitter that much.” Quinn whispered to Courtney’s ear.

“Okay I’m going to use my phone to log in on your

Instagram account and we are going to message your
mom.” She couldn’t use her own account cause Quinton
keeps track of what she does on social media as well.

Quinn nodded showing a hit of relief in her face that she

will finally go home. Courtney let her finish her breakfast
first before getting her phone and she logged off her
Instagram account and gave Quinn the phone to log on
to her account.

“We have to be quick before he sees that I logged out of

my account.” Court whispered.

Quinn nodded and typed in her log in details before

handing the phone to Court.
“Search for your mom’s account first.” Courtney
whispered.

Quinn just went to her followers and found her mom’s

account. She showed Court who took the phone and
quickly typed a message. Well she just typed the address
and warned them to be careful cause there are armed
bodyguards at the gate.

After sending the message she whispered to Quinn again.

“Your mom was active two days ago, is there someone

else here on Instagram we can message in case she
doesn’t see it?”

“Bebe.” Quinn suggested.

“Find her account.” Court whispered and handed her the

phone.
After finding Bebe’s account, Quinn handed the phone
back to Courtney who sent the same message to Bebe.
Luckily she was active 20 minutes ago so hopefully she
will see the message. Courtney then logged out of
Quinn’s account and logged on back on her account.

Babalwa received a notification on her phone that Quinn

has messaged her on Instagram. She opened the
message and it was an addressed followed by “there are
armed bodyguards at the gate.” She was confused. She
thought why would Quinn send her that? She tried to
message her back but she realized she was now offline so
she just decided to call her.

The phone rang on Bulelwa who was trying to get into

her Instagram account using her MacBook cause she
received an email on Quinn’s phone reporting that
someone logged on to Quinn’s account using a different
device. She hadn’t seen the message that was sent by
Quinn and Courtney.

“Bebe.” She answered Quinn’s phone.

“Oh B it’s you, Quinn just sent me a very weird message
on Instagram, is she on drugs now?” Babalwa joked.

“What? What does the message say?” Bulelwa was now

on her feet.

“It’s some address and something about armed

bodyguards.”

“Oh my God please forward me that message here on

Quinn’s phone right now!”

“B what is going on?”

“Forward the message quickly Babalwa, I’ll tell you later.”

Bulelwa said and dropped the call.
She decided to call her husband and asked him to come
home immediately. As she hung up the call with her
husband, she realized the message from Bebe was in.
*
*
*
*
It was my first time attempting to write in narrative form
and I struggled a bit but there was no other way of
writing this, forgive me.
Chapter 28 continuation..

Narrated

Jason came home within minutes and Bulelwa showed

him the text she received from Bebe.

“Where did you get this?” he asked.

“Quinn sent it to Babalwa on Instagram, she probably
sent it to me as well but I can’t see it since I broke my
phone.”

“Whose phone is she using? No we can’t just go there,

maybe this is a set up. I know how that man is.”

“There’s no way he could’ve sent this, how would he

have known Quinn’s Instagram log in details?”

“I get your point. I’ll ask the people who are keeping a
watch on him, if he is not at this Location, I’ll have to
have him captured before we can go there.”

“Whatever you do, please make it quick I need my baby

home Jase.” She pleaded.

Jason just started typing the address on his phone before

stepping outside. He was worried about the Russians that
Quinton works with. He was worried about the safety of
his entire family. In whatever he does with his people he
had to be extra careful.
He called one of the people who work with him.

“Yes Fisto where is the dog right now?” He said.

“At his house, right. I’m going to forward you an address

and I want you guys to go there and check the coast right
now. Don’t lose an eye on him though and please make
sure you don’t mess this up, the safety of my family is in
line here.” He said before dropping the call.

He went back in the house and found his wife carrying

Oratile who had now woken up from her nap.

“Dada..” Oratile stretched out her arms to him.

“Hello my Rati..” He took her from her mother. “I’ve sent

people to that address to check if everything is clear and
they will get back to me. If everything is okay I will go and
get my child today.” He told his wife.
“I’m really sorry for all of this.” Bulelwa apologized
feeling blameworthy about the whole situation.

“There’s no need to apologize, we need to get Q home

unharmed.”

Jason received the call from his people and they told him
the security is very tight at the gate so they have to go
there strategically and prepare themselves for a possible
shoot out. He started blaming himself for even thinking
of going into business with Quinton. He thought about
putting him to rest but the thought of killing Quinn’s
father wasn’t a good idea. What if she finds out when
she’s older that he killed her father? She would hate him.

As they were on the way to Courtney’s house, the tracker

they had planted in Quinton's car informed them that he
was now on the road going somewhere. They decided to
change their route and followed him. They managed to
get him and they stopped his car. He was escorted to
boot of his car and they drove to Courtney’s house with
his car and the two cars they were using following
behind.

The two cars they were using were using parked a little
bit further from Courtney’s house and they decided to
drive in in Quinton's car which has tinted windows. The
securities just opened the gate without asking any
questions cause they thought it was their boss. They
parked by the driveway close to the front door. Jason
was sitting on the passenger seat and he instructed them
that no one should get out of the car instead they should
just hoot. The front door opened after some time and
Courtney stepped out. She walked to the passenger
door. The window rolled down and she froze and gasped
when she realized it wasn’t her fiancé.

“Don’t scream, I’m here to get my daughter.” Jason said.

“Uhm..where is Quinton? Isn’t this his car?” Courtney

was panicking because she thought maybe Quinton is the
who sent these people to see if she’d betray him.
“He’s in the boot.” Jason replied. “Please get my
daughter so we can leave.”

“I’ll get her.” She said and rushed back inside.

She told Quinn her father was there to get her. Quinn
was beyond happy but she made it clear that she’s not
leaving without Courtney because she was scared of
what Quinn might do if he found out she let her go.
Courtney kept begging her to go and tried to assure her
that she will be fine but Quinn wasn’t hearing any of it.

She went to the car and told Jason that they need to go
with Courtney cause the man – that’s what she called
Quinton, was dangerous.

Jason was reluctant at first because he thought taking

Courtney would only bring him more trouble but Quinn
insisted that they take Courtney as well otherwise she
wasn’t going to leave with them so he had no choice but
to leave with both of them. Remember he didn’t know
that Courtney actually helped Quinn get in touch with
them.

Both Quinn and Courtney got in the backseat of

Quinton’s car. They rolled up all the tinted windows and
the guy that was driving reversed out. They drove a little
further from Courtney’s house and they stop to change
cars. Jason got in his car with Quinn and Courtney and he
instructed the other men to keep Quinton, they knew
what they had to do.

Bulelwa’s POV
I’m in the kitchen feeding Oratile but my mind is not
even here. I’m worried about Jason, why hasn’t he called
me? What if something happened to him? What if that
text was really a trap and he fell right into it? I keep
checking Quinn’s phone to see if maybe he has sent me a
text or anything but there’s nothing. I think about calling
him but what if by doing that I’d be causing more
trouble?
I finish feeding Oratile and I take her out of her high
chair. The front door opens, I look up and I don’t believe
my eyes, it’s my daughter walking in followed by a
pregnant white woman.

“My baby!” I say putting Oratile down and I rush to her.

I just wrap my arms around her squeezing her and I start

crying. Thank you Jesus for bring my baby back home
unharmed.

“I’m so sorry baby..” I say still squeezing her. I thought I

had lost her.

“Mom but you’re suffocating me.” She says.

“I love you!” I say and start kissing her face.

“Mom stop!” she yells.

“I’m sorry. I’m just overjoyed that you’re back home.
Where’s your dad?” I say finally letting go.

“He said he has to rush somewhere. Ratiiiii!” she says

and she picks her sister up.

I turn to the pregnant lady who is also looking at my

daughters and smiling to herself.

“Uhm…hi, please excuse my rudeness…” I say wiping my

tears.

I still don’t know who she is and why is she here.

“It’s okay. I’m Courtney, Quinn’s little friend.” She says

with a smile.

Uhm you’re not little. I wonder if that’s how I looked

when I was pregnant.
“Mom aunt Courtney helped me get back home.”

“Oh…” I give Courtney a questioning look cause I’m still

confused.

“Quinton left her at my place yesterday, I’m Quinton’s

fiancée by the way. He asked me to take care of her until
we leave for Scotland next week but I wasn’t going to
allow that to happen so we used my phone to message
you on Instagram.” She explains.

“So he was planning on taking my daughter to Scotland?

He’s so twisted! Thank you so much Courtney, I’m lost of
words to say.”

“It’s okay, I’m glad I could help. You have such a beautiful
family.” She says.

“Thank you. Would you like anything to drink?”

“No I have to go, incase Quinton comes back.”

“No mom please tell aunt Courtney she can’t go back to
her place cause she’ll get in trouble for letting me go.”
Quinn begs.

“Yeah you can’t go, he might do something to you when

he finds out you helped her escape.”

“It’s fine really, I’m his fiancée and I’m carrying his child,
he would never hurt his child.”

“No Courtney, if something happened to you, I would

never forgive myself. Can we at least wait for my
husband to come back.”

I don’t trust Quinton.

---
It’s been two weeks since Quinn came back home.
Courtney insisted that she wanted to leave even though
we were worried about her safety. She assured us that
she will be fine and Jason still has Quinton captured
somewhere so she stayed one night with us and left. I
call her everyday to check if she’s still okay. Another
thing stressing me is the fact that Quinn has never
questioned me about Quinton, not even once and I
would hate to think that she’s bottling it up. She should
be comfortable to speak to me about anything.

The past two weeks were uneventful, nothing out of the

ordinary happened. Jason has been fetching Quinn from
school and if he’s busy I fetch her myself. I’m still on
leave, I’ll only go back to work when Junior is six months
old.

You guys remember Khaya right? So the guy decided to

move to Jo’burg because apparently business is slow in
Pmb. Like it’s such a coincidence that I move to Jo’burg
and you suddenly realize business is slow in Pmb and
then decide to move to Jo’burg as well. Anyway… a week
after he moved here he invited me to his housewarming
party. Okay I went there and guess what? There was no
party, he just wanted to get me to his place. I was livid
and ended up blocking his number on my phone cause I
honestly don’t understand what game is he trying to
play.

Anyway… The front door opens as I’m typing on my

MacBook and I just assume it’s Jason cause I didn’t get a
call from the securities at the gate. But to my surprise it’s
Babalwa.

“Oh Amogelang, this is a surprise!”

I last saw her like 3 months ago.

“Rati!” She says going to pick her up but Oratile decides

to run away.

“Hey don’t run away from me, come here!” she starts
chasing her around and Oratile is just giggling.
“Be careful with the noise guys, you’ll wake the baby.” I
say and I eye him. He’s still sleeping peacefully on his
electric baby swing chair.

“Oh my God he’s so adorbs. Hey Junior…” she whispers.

“He looks like his father. Can I wake him?” She says
looking at Junior whilst holding Rati on her hip. This is
actually the first time she’s seeing him, she only knew
him through pictures.

“Baby sleeping.” That’s Oratile who thinks we can’t see

the baby is sleeping.

“Don’t you dare wake that baby Babalwa.” I warn.

“So when is your fourth baby coming?” she says finally

sitting down and placing Rati on her lap.

“Fourth baby?”
“We all know you sneeze and wake up pregnant the next
day. I bet you’re already pregnant with number 4.”

“No I’m not pregnant Babalwa. It’s good to see you, I

didn’t know you were around.”

“Yeah I came back 2 days ago but I’m leaving again

tomorrow night.” She says.

“Where to?”

“Well first stop is Milan for a 3 day shoot, then I have to

come back here for a champagne which I’m super excited
about but I can’t really tell you about it right now, after
that it’s New York fashion week and I have another shoot
after that.”

The Kendall Jenner of the family.

“Hmm you’re booked and busy. Do you enjoy it though?”

“I get to travel around the world for free doing
something I love, of course I enjoy it. Well besides the
fact that I don’t get enough sleep. I wanted to use this
day to rest but Reneilwe has her boyfriend over so I had
to give them some space that’s why I came here.”

Oh so she didn’t come here cause she missed us? Sad.

“Speaking of boyfriends, when am I meeting your

boyfriend?”

“Never happening. I missed you Rati.” she says and she

kisses Rati's cheek trying to change the subject.

“Babalwa I’m your big sister, I have to meet him at some

point.”

“B I don’t have a boyfriend.”

“Stop lying. Is he ugly?”

“I’m not lying. You know that Kabelo thing still affects
me. I push guys away cause I don’t think I’m ready to get
intimate with any guy, what if it brings back all those
unwanted memories? I don’t want to go back there
Bulelwa.”

Sigh.

“It’s understandable, but there’s no need to push guys

away. The guy who really loves you won’t force you into
doing anything you’re not comfortable with, he will
understand your situation and will wait until you’re
ready. I think you should also consult a therapist about
that, it helps.”

“I don’t know B… and I’m always busy, there’s no time

for boyfriends in my life.”
“You’re trying to tell me there’s not a single guy that
makes your lady loins jitter when you see him or when
you think about him?”

“Nooo! Gosh can we change this topic.” She says

blushing her cheeks off.

“So there is someone? What his name? How old is he?”

“Bulelwa stop!” she says and she pulls out her phone
from her pocket trying to hide that she’s smitten right
now.

“Ugh! Another reason why I don’t need a boyfriend, men

are dogs.” She says now focused on her phone.

“What?”

“There’s a white lady here trending on social media who

was murdered by her fiancé, worst of all she was
pregnant with that dog’s child.”
My mouth runs dry and I feel my heart sitting in my
throat.

“Did they say the lady’s name?”

God please let it not be Courtney. It can’t be her.

“It’s Courtney Mendez. Honestly what is happening in

this country!”

I’m literally a statue right now, every inch of my body has

frozen.
....
Chapter Twenty Nine

There are evil people with black hearts and then you get
people with no hearts at all and Quinton is one of those
people. How can you kill the mother of your child that
you claim to love together with your child as well? My
eyes still water every time I think of Courtney and her
unborn baby. They did not deserve to die that way. I
think about her friends and family and I can’t even
imagine what they are going through. It’s heartbreaking.
She saved my child from that heartless bastard but we
couldn’t save her and her baby. I know Quinton was
prisoned to life sentence with no parole but I feel like
that is a light punishment, people like him don’t deserve
to live. He deserves to be tortured to death and still be
tortured even after death, he deserves to be tortured to
eternity. To think this is the same person God chose for
me to have my first child with. I should’ve known the
moment he told me to abort my baby that he was
heartless.

I have to speak to Quinn. I’ve avoided speaking to her

about Quinton as much as she has avoided it.

I fetch her from school and I take her for some ice-cream
treat, just the two of us.
 I filled my bowl with just one ice-cream flavor but
looking at Quinn’s bowl gives me a headache. She filled it
with 3 different flavors of ice-cream and side toppings
like smarties, pieces of fudge, marshmallows, pieces of
chocolate and every other sweet thing you can think of. I
swear when we leave here she’ll have a sugar rush.

“Don’t you miss when it was just the two of us? Do you
even remember those days?” I say as we settle on the
table.

“I remember but no I don’t miss it.”

“Why? Do you enjoy having siblings?”

“It’s annoying sometimes like when Rati smashed my

phone on the floor but yeah I love having siblings.”

I laugh.
“She’s just a baby though, she doesn’t understand
anything.” I say.

“I know.”

“Do you have a boyfriend?” I ask cause I’m actually

scared to address the elephant in the room.

She just shakes her head.

“When do you think is the right age to have a

boyfriend?”

She shrugs her shoulders. Gosh she’s embarrassed by this

topic, she’s not even looking at me now.

“18 is the right age.” I say.

She nods and she puts her spoon in my ice-cream

scooping some of it out and she puts it in her mouth.
“Quinn!”

“Sharing is caring.” She says giggling.

I just shake my head.

“Uhm…baby do you know why I brought you here?” I

have to do this.

“For ice-cream.” She says.

“Yes for ice-cream and to talk.”

“About?”

“Uhm…do you remember that white man who took you

to aunt Courtney’s house?”
“Mom I don’t want to talk about that.”

“I know. I also don’t want to talk about it but we have

to.”

“That man said he’s my father and I know he’s lying.”

“Yes he’s lying.. he may be your father by blood but that

doesn’t mean he’s your father.”

“What do you mean mom?”

“Well…uhm…you see..” God how do you explain this to a

child?

I swallow and I start again.

“When I got pregnant with you I was very young, I was

still in school. So uhm… that white man was supposed to
be your father but he didn’t want a baby cause he was
still in school as well so he ran away, that’s why you
never had a father until your dad came into our lives
when you were six, I’m sure you remember that.”

“How did you get pregnant?”

Yho Jesus. Is it okay to tell a 10 year old about sex? Don’t

they teach these things at school?

“Well you see when two people love each other, like me
and your dad? They have a way of expressing how much
they love each other and that is called making love. Not
everyone is allowed to make love though, only married
people can do it. Sometimes making love leads to the
woman getting pregnant and that is how babies are
made.”

“Were you married to that white man when you guys

made love?”
Yho I feel like I’m on the hot seat right now and I just
want this ground to open and swallow me with chewing.

“Uhm no we were not married, we did something we

shouldn’t have done.”

“You and dad made love and you got pregnant with
Rati?”

“Yes cause we are married people. Same with Junior.”

“So basically dad is only Rati and Junior’s father but not
my father?”

I feel the lump raising in my throat and tears threatening

my eyes. I swallow hard and I take a deep breath. I can’t
cry now.

“He is your father as well. I’m married to him so he is

automatically your father. That white man is not your
father, he refused to be your father so God gave you
another father, a father that loves you very much. He
loves you the same way he loves your sister and your
brother.”

She nods and she goes back to her ice-cream that has
now melted.

“And I love you as much as I love Oratile and Junior.”

She nods again.

“I miss the days when you used to tell me you love me

too.”

“I love you too. Mom you never told me how do people

make love?”

“Ask me again when you’re 13.”

“You know google has every answer right?”

“Google that and you will never get your phone again.” I
say.

I know she’ll google it anyway but at least I warned her.

Or maybe she knows and she’s just bluffing me.

I’ve decided I’m not going to tell her about what

happened to Courtney, I can’t tell her today.

We finally drove home cause the husband was calling

nonstop complaining that Rati is being naughty and I
could hear Junior’s cries in the background and that
broke my heart a little but Jason must feel how it’s like to
babysit two babies – what I go through everyday. And
Oratile is very stubborn now, she takes something she
shouldn’t be taking and when you reprimand her she just
looks at you with her beautiful eyes.

…
My book is finally done and being edited right now. We
had a photoshoot for the cover and promo pictures. All
my kids are going to be on the cover and my husband.
We were all wearing black and white and those pictures
are dazzling, like vogue magazine cover worthy. We
literally all became models during that photoshoot
although Junior is sleeping in most of the pictures. It’s
okay though, he still looks yummy even when he’s
sleeping. My favourite of all the pictures is the picture of
my husband with my kids – I’m the only one missing.
That is literally my whole world in one picture. Right now
I have that picture framed on my bedside and every
morning I look at it and thank God for blessing me with
such a beautiful family and the happy life that we live
cause at this point everything is just perfect. I have
everything I’ve always dreamed of and more.

I just finished bathing my baby. I take him to his nursery

to get him dressed. He’s now 5 months old which means
I’m going back to work next month and I’m actually sad
that I’ll be away from him for hours. I love my work but I
love my son more.
“Are you mommy’s little boy?” I say putting him down.
“Yes you are!” I give him a kiss and he makes those
sounds babies make. He’s probably saying mommy stop
kissing me.

His father walks in as I’m applying the baby lotion on

him. He starts playing with him as well.

“Babe don’t you think his penis is too small?” It honestly

looks small and that worries me.

“Of course you’ll find it small cause you’re used to my

beast.” His stupid father says and I hit him with the
diaper in my hand.

“Ouch! Junior your mom is abusive.”

“Junior your dad is a drama king.”

He laughs.
“No this is a normal size for babies my love. We should
actually take him for the circumcision.”

Haibo!

“No Jason he’s still a baby, he can’t go through that

pain.”

“It’s better to do it this age than when he’s older.”

“I’m not doing that to my baby, forget it.”

“You’ll thank me later. Anyway you remember we never

really had a honeymoon?” He says.

I nod.

“So I was thinking why don’t we take a vacation before

you go back to work? Just the two of us. I know taking
care of kids is not an easy job, you need some time out to
relax before going back to work.”

Do you see what I mean when I say God blessed me with

the best man on earth?

“I’d love that. For how many days though?”

“The entire month.”

“You crazy.”

“Okay two weeks?”

“One week. I can’t leave my kids for that long.”

“That’s fine. Tell me where you want to go and I’ll do the

bookings.”
There are many places I want to visit but I can’t pick an
adventurous place. I need a place where I’ll be able to
relax cause Jason is right, I need some time out. Taking
care of babies is a hard job but I love it.

“My mom said she has no problem with helping with the
kids.” He says.

“Mhm.”

We have two helpers here but okay.

He decides to kiss my cheek.

“I love you.” He says.

“I love you too.”

He picks Junior up and he walks out with him cause I’m

done getting him dressed.
---

I just came back from picking up Quinn from school cause

Jason is still caught up at work. The babies are sleeping
so I can use this time to google the place I want to visit
with my husband.

As I get my MacBook, I realize it’s not charged. Let me

just use Jason’s cause I’m lazy to charge it. I open it and I
realize it wasn’t shut down. It takes me where Jason was
the last time he used it and you guys won’t believe what
I’m seeing on the screen! Like what the hell Jase?

I click play and my heart and liver together with my

intestines and lungs almost come out of my mouth
causing me to close the screen immediately. It literally
played for only two seconds before I shut the screen but I
was able to figure within those two seconds that it’s not
porn as I thought. It’s a fucking sextape with my husband
and some woman. I’m traumatized. My mind is
debilitated. I don’t know what to think. I don’t know if
this was taken before he got with me or if he actually
cheated. And if it’s an old video, why does he still have
it? And why the hell was he watching it?

I want to open it again and see who is the lady cause I

didn’t see her face but I don’t want to see my husband
doing the nasty with another woman. Maybe if I watch it
I’ll be able to figure out when was this taken. But the
thought of seeing that again, I only saw two seconds of it
but the picture is still stuck on my mind and I just want to
crawl out of my skin.

No I can’t bring myself to open this again, I’m just going

to sit here and wait for him. I swear if he cheated on me
again I won’t forgive him this time. I will take my kids and
leave him. Actually no, he’s the one who will leave my
house. I still can’t believe what I just saw, can someone
please erase it from my mind!
...to be continued.
...continuation. 💕
He comes back home and he finds me just sitting on the
bed with my legs folded and my back against the
headboard. My eyes were closed until he walked in. His
MacBook is on the bed next to me.

He comes to stand over me and he bends to kiss my

cheek.

That is where the problem starts! Who kisses his wife on

the cheek?

“How are you my love?” he says.

“Are you cheating on me?”

“What?”

“I’m asking you!”

“No Bulelwa. Where do you get that from?”

“Do you still find me and my body attractive?” I ask.

“Bulelwa what is going on?”

“Just answer my question!” I’m actually furious.

“Of course I find you attractive, you’re gorgeous.”

“Have you ever slept with me whilst thinking of someone

else?”

“I’m not going to answer to these ridiculous questions

anymore.” He says and he walks in the closet.

“I saw your sextape.”

“You mean our sextape?” he stops and he turns around

to face me again.
I give him a questioning look. What does he mean our?

“Which sextape are you talking about?” he asks.

“How many do you have!?” I shout and I throw the pillow

at him.

“Just the one you saw.”

“Who is that lady? And when was it taken?”

“I thought you watched it.” He says looking amused.

“Jason this is not a joke, do you see me smiling?”

He looks at me before taking his MacBook and he sits

next to me with it. He opens it and he reduces the
volume before clicking play.
Oh my God! What the hell? Guys I’m the lady on the
video! When was this taken? And how? And why?

I can’t watch this. I close the screen and I look at him. I

don’t know what he’s smiling for cause this is not funny.

“Why did you do this without my consent?”

“Cause I knew you weren’t going to agree. I’m sorry.”

“Please get out of my room.”

“Bathong baby.” He widens his eyes.

“You don’t respect me, get out! And don’t you dare come
back in here.” I push him out and I lock the door.

I take his MacBook and I open the video again. Wow.

Okay I can see this was taken at his other house here in
Jo’burg and judging by my hairstyle, it was the time I
came here to meet his parents which means it was
before we got married.

I’ve never felt so disrespected in my life, I mean look at

that. You can see it was taken from the top angle which
means he must have planted a camera somewhere on
the ceiling – that’s the only explanation. I want to know
what was his motive for filming us having sex? What if
something happened between us and he threatened to
release this tape? He needs to delete this. Sextape
stories never end well. My heart is a bitch though, out of
all men in the world this is the person it chose to fall in
love with? Smh.

I turn on the volume a bit. Okay I’ve always been

embarrassed of my moaning but it actually sounds sexy. I
wonder if my body still looks that good. Hmm look at
Jason’s firm butt and those groans, I swear my clitoris is
dancing right now. Actually let me close this.

So I, Bulelwa Mihlali Lekoane have a sextape. A whole

fucking sextape? (Pun intended). Yho aneva! I’ve never
even taken nude pictures for goodness sake! Imagine
what Sli would say if she found out about this? She’d
probably want to see it so no, I can’t tell her.

---

I’ve just put all my kids in their beds and yes I’m still very
mad at their father. I take a shower alone and I get in
bed. He walks in the bedroom.

“Didn’t I tell you not to come in here?” I say.

I know he thought I was sleeping already. Well I would

have been sleeping by now if it wasn’t for Junior who
thought bedtime was playtime.

“Bulelwa you can’t be mad at me over a stupid video.”

“A stupid video? That stupid video so happen to have me

having sex! My whole body is exposed and my face is
clearly showing. So please don’t tell me it’s a stupid
video. Why did you tape that in the first place?”

“I taped it for myself, for my pleasure. You’re not a man

so you wouldn’t understand.”

I get up and I walk to stand closely in front of him.

“So you prefer a video over the real me?” I say before
kissing him whilst touching his dick over his pants.

I pull back but he tries to kiss me again.

“No use your video for pleasure.” I say.

My hand is still on his manhood and I can feel him

growing hard.

“I prefer the real you.” He says attempting to kiss me.

“Then delete the video.”

“But-“ I cut him off.

“It’s either you delete the video and get to have me right
here, right now or keep the video and I’m getting back in
bed.” I say opening his pants button and I tuck in my
hand inside his underwear as well. I give him a handjob
looking straight in his eyes.

“Ah Fuck! Okay I’ll delete the video.”

“Right now, I want to see you deleting it.”

“Damn Bulelwa!” he says and he rushes to get his
MacBook.

“I’m deleting it..”

I wait for him to click delete.

“Good. And don’t dare do that again!” I say before
getting in bed.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he gets on

top of me and he starts tickling me.

“Baby stooooop!” I yell.

“First you’ll give me what I want?”

“Yes!”

My vagina is my husband’s weakness.

---

We left the kids with Jason’s mom and the two helpers.
We call them everyday to make sure everything is okay
and I left Quinn with her phone so I text with her
frequently.
My husband and I decided to visit the Maldives. It’s only
the 3rd day here but I wish we could relocate here. This
place is heaven on earth, the exotic beaches are my
favourite. That’s where we spent most of our time at - if
we’re not relaxing by the alluring sea, it’s either I’m at
the hotel getting a massage or we’re in our hotel room
making love and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Don’t
worry I won’t get pregnant, I’m on the pill.

We just finished showering cause my husband is taking

me on a date tonight. My phone rings just as I was about
to lotion my body. It’s Jason’s mom. Okay she never calls
me when she wants something, she always calls her son.

“It’s your mom.” I say before answering.

“Hello Mah.”

“Bulelwa I have a problem with Junior.” She says.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well he just started having seizures and I tried-“

“Junior is having seizures.” I say looking at Jason.

“What?” he says before taking the phone from my hand.

“Mom is my son okay?” he says.

“When did it start?” he asks.

We need to find a way to get home right now. Junior has

never had a seizure before and I can’t help thinking
Jason’s mom has something to do with this. My son was
perfectly healthy when we left him. But at the same time
I know how much she loves her grandkids, it’s me that
she has a problem with. If she actually wanted to hurt me
it would be through Quinn, not her grandkids.
“I’ll get in contact with my private doctor and he will
come there. We’ll also try to find a way to come back as
soon as possible.” He says before dropping the call.

“Is it possible to leave tonight?”

“I will find out.” He says. He’s just busy on his phone

now.

I’m thinking about my poor baby and my heart is

breaking. I can’t stop blaming myself. We shouldn’t have
taken a vacation when he is still so young.

“My pilot is unavailable right now so I’ll have to hire a jet

this side.” He says.

“That will be costly.”

“There’s nothing we can do, we have to leave tonight.”

“I’ll start packing.”

2 hours later, we were on the flight back home. I don’t

care about our vacation being cut short, I’m just worried
about my son.

We get home and we find Junior sleeping peacefully one

would doubt he even had a seizure. The doctor said he
ran some tests as to what may have caused the seizures
and he’ll get back to us. When we left the Maldives it was
about 10 pm and we arrived here and it was already the
next day in the morning.

Jason’s mom left and Junior hasn’t had any seizure since
we arrived. We moved his baby cot to our bedroom so
we can monitor him properly during the night and he
slept serenely like a baby that he is.

---
It’s Friday which means I’m chilling with Rati and Junior
cause Quinn is at school and Jase is at work. Our frequent
visitor is also here. She’s obsessed with all my kids so
whenever she gets bored she comes here. Quinn also
visits her at her place on some weekends. We’ve become
very close these few years that I’ve been staying here in
Jo’burg.

We’ve been sitting here in the living room watching the

sleeping baby on his electric swing chair and Oratile has
also fallen asleep in her arms.

“Do you want me to go and put her down? I know that

child is heavy.” I say.

“No, her cousin loves her.” She says.

“Her cousin? Wha- Wait Hlelo are you pregnant?”

She just looks at me and she blushes.

“Oh my God! Hlelo! I should have known!”

I literally scream. I’m genuinely happy for her.

“Stop screaming you’ll wake the kids.” She says.

“Let them wake up! They’re having a new cousin.”

“Wait, there’s more.” She says.

“Okay…”

“Uhm, I’m engaged too.”

“What?? When? How? Wow!”

“Well it happened the week before I found out I was

pregnant. He decided to propose on our vacation in
Paris, it was so romantic Bulelwa!”
I scream again and I find myself crying, it’s happy tears.

“Don’t tell me you’re crying?”

“I’m just so happy for you, like you’re such a good person
and you deserve all the happiness in the world.”

I’ve met her man a couple of times and he seems like a

good person as well.

“Ahh you’re going to make me cry.”

“I bet you’re getting married in Paris as well.”

“Hmm.” She says before laughing.

“So how far are you?”

“12 weeks.”
“What? I should’ve known with all this sudden weight
you’ve gained.”

I realize after those words have left my mouth that I

shouldn’t have said that.

“Am I fat?”

“No no. You’re beautiful. I mean the growing belly. Can I

feel it?”

“Yeah.” She lifts up her top a bit.

Oh it’s there. Not big but it’s there. It looks like she ate a
very big meal.

“Hi Nana..” I say touching it. “Rati you squashing the

baby.”
“Oh my God! Bulelwa!” she panics and her face looks like
she’s seeing a ghost.

I turn to look in that direction and I realize my baby is

having a seizure.

“Please call Jason.” I say rushing to him.

I start performing the CPR on him like how the doctor

instructed.

“Come on baby.” I’m now crying.

Honestly the worst thing I did for myself was researching

about baby seizures cause I found out that it can actually
take a baby’s life.

“Lisebo is on his way.”

“We have to take Junior to hospital, tell him to meet us
there.”

I continue with the CPR and I see him calming down a bit.
I pick him up and I hand him to Hlelo so I can get his baby
care bag. She has laid Oratile on the couch.

I ask Buhle to look after Oratile and we get in my car just

to avoid moving the baby’s car seat. Hlelo is driving and
I’m sitting at the back with Junior in his car seat. He’s
sleeping now.

“Junior don’t ever scare me like that.” I say lightly

brushing his baby hairs with my finger.

“That scared me as well. Was it the first time it

happened?”- Hlelo.

“First time happening in my presence. It started 2 days

ago, we were away with Jason.”
“That was probably the most scariest thing I’ve ever
seen.”

“Tell me about it. I’m still shaking.”

We got to the hospital and we found Jason already there.

They admitted Junior and started running some tests on
him.

My mind is still telling me Jason’s mom is behind all of

this. But imagine telling my husband that is what I think
about his mom. I know babies get sick all the time but
the way it happened is just strange.

We stay for hours waiting for the test results, Hlelo even
left. The doctors can’t find anything that might have
caused the seizures. They asked to keep him in hospital
until they figure out the problem.

---
Jason and I have been taking turns staying at the hospital
the whole week. He stays at the hospital during the day
and I go home to shower and rest a bit and also check on
the other kids, and then go back there at night and he
goes back home and return to the hospital in the
morning after dropping Quinn off at school. It feels like
I’m working night shift. The doctors still haven’t
ascertained what is wrong with my baby and they
suggested that we fly a specialist doctor from India. Jason
is still sorting that out.

I just arrived home and I find Buhle feeding Rati. She

literally has to chase her around the house for her to eat.

“Mama!” she screams when she sees me and she runs to

me.

“Baby why are you giving Buhle a hard time?” I say

picking her up and I kiss her cheek. “You should put her
in her feeding chair Buhle otherwise uzodlala lomtwana.”
“It’s my way of exercising.” She jokes. “How is Junior
doing?”

“It’s still the same Buhle. They can’t find what is wrong
with him which means they still can’t treat him.” Talking
about this just breaks my heart.

“Uhm I actually wanted to speak to you about

something.” She says sounding serious and a bit nervous.

Don’t tell me she wants to quit. Her and aunty Mary have
been very helpful to me.

“I’m listening.”

“You remember when you and your husband went away

and his mom came over?”

I nod.
“Well on the 2nd day that you were gone, your mother
in-law invited some lady here.”

I nod again indicating she should go on.

“So I heard them speaking. They thought I couldn’t

understand Sotho so they were speaking in my presence.
They were planning to bewitch you, actually to bewitch
your marriage so that you and your husband would get a
divorce and your husband would get back with that lady.
To cut the story short, they left some things in your
bedroom, it was some crystal black powder in a small
plastic and two small bottles which I found and threw
away immediately. That lady held Junior and when I think
about it now, I realize that is when he started having
seizures.”

My head is spinning and my intestines have knotted.

What did I ever do to Jason’s mom? I can’t fathom why
does she hate me so much?
“Why didn’t you tell me this when we got back? And did
they mention that lady’s name by any chance?”

“I was scared to cause trouble, I’m sorry. I think that

lady’s name is Katlego if I’m not mistaken.”

I’m struggling to breathe. Something suddenly comes

back in my mind – that murdered doll which was
delivered to me when I was pregnant with Oratile that
had a note written “you’ll never find happiness”. It was
these two witches!

....
Chapter Thirty

It has been a little over three years since Jason and I got
married yet there are people who still haven’t accepted
that he loves me and he chose me over everyone. People
talk about misogyny not realizing that the underlying
issue is the amount of hatred women have for each
other. It’s sickening. Like why would you go out of your
way to make another woman suffer? To see another
woman in pain? Not to mention a woman that owes you
nothing whatsoever? I understand they were both at
some point hurt, or still are but it has nothing to do with
me. None of their pain comes directly from me. Is it my
fault that things between Katlego and Jason never
worked out? Is it my fault that he left her? Cause we
know he left her way before he knew me. Is it my fault
that he fell in love with me? Or maybe she thought after
leaving her he was going to die a single man? And then
Jason’s mom. Did I say her husband should cheat on her?
Did I tell my mother to open her legs for her husband?
Imagine Jason cheating on me and I decide to take it all
out on the child of the woman he cheated with. Worse
Katlego is coming for my child, she doesn’t know what
she’s gotten herself into.

I need proof to show Jason when I tell him this. My first

instinct is to check to the security footage. That will show
Katlego coming into our house.

Buhle told me she came here on the 2nd day that we

were gone. I go to the footage from that date and I just
watch from the morning cause I’m not sure what time
she came.

I fast forward a bit and as I’m watching the screen

suddenly becomes blank from 13:16 to 13: 25. I rewind
and I watch again thinking it’s the signal but again
everything is clear until that time. Which muti is this
woman using? Cause it’s unequivocally strong.

I move on to check if the baby monitor has anything but I

don’t find any evidence. I don’t know what should I do
now. I should probably call my husband.

It rings once.

“Sthandwa sam.” He says.

“Hey I…”

I’m lost of words to say, I should have planned how to

tell him this.
“Babe is everything okay?”

“Yes.. No.. We need to talk, it’s urgent please come

home.”

“You know I can’t leave Junior here alone.”

“Come home with him.”

“Bathong Mma Oratile, what if he gets another seizure?

You know they always come unexpected.”

“It’s about that. I know what caused him to have

seizures.”

“What to you mean?”

“Just come home Jase please.” I say and I hang up.

I don’t know how he will take this but I need to prepared
for whatever reaction I might get and I need to find a
way to help my son get better.

I start googling ways of healing witchcraft cause that is

basically what caused my son to get ill. Some articles
suggest a traditional healer, others suggest seeing a
prophet and others are talking about just simple prayer.
Now I pray everyday but that didn’t protect my baby
from being affected by whatever those witches did. I saw
a spiritual healer online which had great views and I
booked an appointment. The request was still pending
but I’ll keep checking.

My husband walks in the room carrying my baby. So the

doctors actually allowed him to take him.

“Baby…” I say taking Junior from his father.

“Be careful, he’s sleeping.”

“I’ll put him down.” I say moving to his cot.

Just looking at him breaks my heart and my eyes tear. He

doesn’t deserve any of this, my baby doesn’t deserve
this.

“I love you.” I say and I kiss him lightly before putting him
inside his cot.

We have to stay here to keep an eye on him.

“Do you know how hard it was to convinced the doctors

to discharge him.” He says.

“They won’t be able to help him anyway cause it’s not a

medical problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Buhle revealed to me what may be the cause of his
illness.”

“I’m listening.”

“It’s your mother together with Katlego.”

“I’m not catching on Bulelwa, what is going on?”

“Your mother brought Katlego here whilst we were in the

Maldives. Buhle heard them speaking and they were
planning to do some witchcraft on us to break us up and
Buhle told me that Katlego held Junior and that is when
he started getting seizures.”

“My mother would never do that.” He says looking like

he’s in disbelief.

“Okay. Protect your mom and let our son die.”

“Just stop Bulelwa!” he shouts before burying his face in
his hands.

“First of all don’t shout at me please and secondly, you’ll

wake my son. If you can’t control your voice, leave this
room.”

The look he shoots me before asking for his phone. I pass

it to him and he calls his mother.

“Mom what are you doing?” he says.

“Put her on loudspeaker.” I say.

He shoots me another look before putting her on

loudspeaker.

“My son are well? How is Junior?” she says.

“Don’t fucking ask me if I’m well! What did you do to my
son?”

Didn’t I tell him not to yell? He can swear at her without

shouting. I actually feel like swearing at her myself.

“Lisebo are you talking to me that way?”

“I asked you what did you do to my son!?”

“I don’t know what you talking about.”

I chuckle a bit shaking my head. She doesn’t know what

he’s talking about?

“Woman I promise you, you and your little friend Katlego

are going to pay for this.” He clicks his tongue before
dropping the call.
Did he just call his mom “woman” and did he just
threaten her?

“So what must we do know?” he asks looking at me

giving me an attitude as if all this is my fault.

I just look at him. Who does he think he’s speaking to?

“Oh so now you don’t want to talk?”

I remain quiet and I take my phone. I go online to check if

they’ve responded to my request to see that spiritual
healer and they have responded. Oh the appointment is
today at 3 pm, that was quick.

“Do you know where this is?” I ask showing the address
to Jason.

“Yes.”
“How far is it from here?”

“It’s like a 2 hours drive.”

Yho.

“We have to be there at 3pm.” It’s only 10 am right now.

“Are you going to tell me why are we going there?” he’s

still giving me an attitude and it looks like he’s annoyed
with me.

“We’re going to see a spiritual healer.”

“Since when do you believe in those things Bulelwa?”

“I don’t believe in anything, I just want to help my son

okay? Will you drive us or not?”
He just looks at me and he walks out. I’m not going to
beg him, I can drive myself and use a navigator but I’m
not going to sit here whilst my son is at risk of dying.
Seizures are not to be taken lightly like a common flu.

I ask Buhle to give Oratile a bath and feed her since my

eyes have to be constantly glued on this sick child and his
father decided to be a jerk today, he’s not helping at all. I
know he’s stressing, I’m also stressing but he shouldn’t
take it out on me.

Quinn’s school comes out at 2.30 pm and it’s Wednesday

today which means she has gymnastics practice until
3.30 pm. Those are the only two sports she does, tennis
and gymnastics. After what happened with Quinton she
stated clearly that she doesn’t want to be fetched by a
driver from school, it’s either I fetch her, or her father
fetches her. So it looks like we have a problem today.

I call Babalwa to check if she’s around.

“B.”
Why is she breathing heavily?

“Hey stranger, I need your help.”

“With?”

I’m hearing some shuffling in the background. What is

going on?

“First of all, where are you?”

“I…oh fuck…ahhh….” She whispers and it’s clear that she

has removed the phone from her ear.

She thinks I don’t hear that?

“Ba-“ she cuts me off.

“B I’ll call you!” she says and she hangs up.

She’s definitely having sex! I just heard my little sister

having sex and I don’t know how I feel about it. She’s 21 I
know but she’s still my little sister, I didn’t need to hear
that. Why did she answer her phone? This means she’s
over what Kabelo put her through, hallelujah! I hope
she’s using protection though.

I call Reneilwe instead and she agreed to fetch Quinn

from school then we’ll just pick her up at their apartment
when we come back.

---

We’re driving to that place and this man still has an angry
face. At this point I don’t know who he’s mad at but I
don’t care. I’m not even sitting in the front with him, I’m
sitting at the back with my son in his car seat. He’s awake
and he’s busy playing and eating his fingers.
“Your fingers are the sweetest thing huh?” I say playing
with him and he smiles.

“At least you’re smiling unlike someone in this car.” I say

and I eye him.

He’s face is still tense, he even has veins showing now.

He starts driving really fast. Haibo! Has he lost his mind?

“Jason please if you want to die tell us, we will gladly get
out of this car.”

He slows down a bit but his face is still scary.

“Your dad wants to take out his frustrations on us instead

of taking it out on his wife that made you sick.” I say.
The car stops causing me to look up. I can literally see fire
in my husband’s eyes. There’s something going on here,
this is not my husband.

“Didn’t I tell you never to call her my wife?” he literally

roars and it’s followed by a hot slap across my face
making me a bit dizzy.

I look at him holding my cheek, I actually don’t know

which part of my face should I hold cause the whole face
is throbbing.

He looks at me and he looks at his hand – the one that

just hit me and it’s shaking uncontrollably.

“Bulelwa I-“ he starts but I cut him off.

“When we get back home I want you to pack your things

and leave my house.” I say and I wipe my tears.

“Baby I-“
“Shut up!” I scream causing Junior to start crying.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry…” I say trying to calm him

down but I’m also crying.

How can Jason hit me like that? I swear his slap felt like
someone threw a brick on my face, my whole face is still
vibrating and I’m sure it’s swollen. A divorce after 3 years
of marriage is normal right? My mother ended up killing
her husband because she was in an abusive marriage, I
don’t want to turn out like her. I don’t want to wait until
it’s too late.
...to be continued.
....continuation.

We park at this very colourful house. Jason steps out of

the car and I also get out and I walk around to get Junior
but Jason is already taking him out of his seat.

“Leave my child!” I say pushing him.

I take Junior and I cover him with his receiver blanket
before walking in ahead of Jason.

This house is very colourful and busy outside. It’s painted

in orange and there are so many unnecessary colourful
decorations.

I stand by the front door and I ring the bell. Jason is

already behind me.

An Indian lady wearing a saree opens the door.

“Namaste.” She says putting her hands together like

when you pray and she bows.

Uhm… Are we still in South Africa?

“Good afternoon.” I say.

“Please come in.” she says with a very strong Indian
accent opening the door wider.

I walk in with Jason following behind me. Wow I thought

the front yard was colourful but it’s even more colourful
inside. We find a much older Indian lady sitting in front of
some statue. There are red candles next to her. She’s
sitting in that meditating position.

The other lady takes Junior and were assembled to sit

down. She doesn’t say anything, she just starts playing a
drum softly and humming some tune with her eyes
closed. It goes on for a good ten minutes with us just
sitting and watching her. I hear whispering something
under his breath but I didn’t really hear what he’s saying.

She finally opens her eyes and she tells me to take Junior.
I hold him in my arms, he’s so calm. She moves some
burning things in front of us for us to inhale before going
back to her drum. It goes on for another 5 minutes. She
then hands us beaded necklaces to wear to chase away
“bad spirits”. Whatever that means, and they tell us we
can leave. Like I really paid R1 500 for that? But let me
not judge yet, maybe these necklaces will help.

We get in the car and again I sit at the back with my son.
I put this necklace on him.

“Bulelwa don’t put that stupid thing on my son.” He says.

“Why are you even talking to me wenanja?”

He remains quiet and he focuses on the road. We start at

Reneilwe and Babalwa’s apartment to get Quinn. She
gets on the front seat and we drive home. Jason is
suddenly okay and having conversations with her as if
everything is normal. Maybe he thinks I was joking when
I said I want him out of my house. Yes my house that he
bought for me.

We get home and I carry Junior inside. I put him inside

his cot and I walk in the closet. I start taking out Jason’s
things. I won’t live with an animal in this house. Who
slaps a woman, no let me rephrase. Who slaps his wife
like that? Like he’s slapping another man? This is not the
first time he’s putting his hands on me and it’s good that
I warned him that if it happens again, this relationship
will end. I’m not going to be a victim of abuse. He should
be my pillar of strength through everything going on right
now but no, he decides to be a dick. He must go!

“Bulelwa what are you doing with my stuff?” he says

walking in the closet.

“I told you I want you out of my house!”

“Bulelwa leave my things or else…” he makes fists with

his hands and he clenches his jaw.

“Or else what? You want to hit me again? Do it. I dare

you to do-“

He cuts me off with another hot slap causing me to

stumble back a bit. He moves closer to me. I look around
and the first thing I see are my shoes on the shelf. I grab
one stiletto and I start hitting him with the heel on his
head. I’m not going to watch him hit me.

“Fuck you mnqundu wakho!” I scream crying.

“Oh you’re brave now? You can hit me?” he says in a

voice that doesn’t sound like his voice at all.

He pushes me and I land on the floor hitting my butt. He

gets on top of me with his knee pressed on my stomach
and he starts choking me. I want to scream but I can’t. I
look at him with my crying eyes and he looks possessed. I
bite his arm and I immediately taste his blood in my
mouth.

“Ahhh..” he screams but he does let go.

He’s determined to kill me today. I want to apologize

now cause I don’t want to die. I look at him and I swear
for a second his face changed into some creepy creature.
I’m freaked out now and he’s still choking me. He lifts his
other hand in a fist and I close my eyes ready for a punch
on my face but in stead I hear Quinn’s voice shouting
“dad stop it!” causing Jason to loosen his grip on my
neck. He looks at her then at me and he slowly gets off
me looking very confused. His face is back to normal
now.

I look at Quinn and my baby looks traumatized. Jason

covers where a bit him with his hand before walking out.
I get up and Quinn just runs to me and she gives me a
hug. I start crying historically.

“If he hits you he’s not my dad anymore.” She says.

“He didn’t hit me baby.” I say trying to wipe my endless

tears.

“Mom I saw him.”

No she shouldn’t have witnessed that. There’s something
definitely wrong with Jason today, I swear to God that is
not my husband.

He walks back in the bedroom.

“Didn’t I tell you to leave my house wenanja?” I shout.

“Mom please don’t shout, he’s going to hit you again.”

Quinn says. She’s now crying.

“I will leave.” He says calmly. “My princess..” he tries to

talk to Quinn but she just hides behind me.

Good. She’s now scared of him. She saw the monster

that he is.

He takes only a few of his things. If it wasn’t for Quinn’s

presence, I would’ve advised him to start looking for a
good divorce lawyer.
“You’re going to sleep with me today right?” I say to
Quinn after he walks out.

She nods.

“Your face is bruised..Why did he hit you?”

“I..you shouldn’t worry yourself about this. Go and do

your homework so I can give you your phone.”

She nods and she walks out. I check on Junior, he’s still
sleeping. I sit on the bed and I start crying again. I can’t
believe this is happening in my marriage. My family is
falling apart. I know my husband and I know he loves me
very much, why would he beat me up like that?

---
After making sure Oratile has had a bath and eaten, I
tuck her in her bed and I go for a shower. My swollen
face is throbbing, in fact my whole body is in pain.

Junior hasn’t had any seizure today, he’s just so peaceful

and I’m starting to think that necklace is actually
working.

Before getting in bed, in kneel down with Quinn to pray.

I’m just listening to my daughter saying her evening
prayer and tears just roll down my face. They say God
doesn’t give you problems above your strength but I feel
like this time he has overestimated my strength.
Everything is just going downhill.

“Amen.” She says.

“Amen.” I say after her and I wipe my tears.

“Mom you didn’t pray.”

“I prayed with my heart.” I say getting up.

I check on Junior again before getting in bed. His cot is

still next to our bed.

“Why are you sleeping so far away from me?” I say

pulling Quinn closer to me and I put my arm around her.

“Mom Jay won’t be living with us anymore?”

Oh it’s no longer dad anymore?

“Do you want him to live with us?”

“If he hits you then no.”

Those words coming from my baby cut deep in my heart.

I swallow the lump threatening my throat and I close my
eyes.
---

For the first time, Junior slept serenely throughout the

whole night, he didn’t wake up not even once. I was the
one who kept waking up to check on him.

Right now he’s just playing alone like there’s nothing

wrong with him. He’s lying next to me on my bed and I’m
just looking at him. No I’m thinking over him.

“Do you have to look so much like your father?” I utter.

His father hasn’t even tried to call me since he left

yesterday which shows he doesn’t care about me or even
Junior. He knows we have a sick baby but he doesn’t
seem to be bothered by that. I’m not going to call him
either, he must stay wherever he is.

There’s a knock on the bedroom door.

“It’s opened.” I say thinking it’s Buhle or Aunt Mary but
to my surprise it’s Hlelo. I’m not really in the mood for
anyone but she’s already here so…

“B… oh hi Junior, come here you cutie.” She says picking

him up and she starts playing with him.

“How is he?” she asks turning to me.

“He’s doing great, he hasn’t had any seizure since he got

back from hospital.”

“How are you?”

I see sympathy all over her face now. Maybe his brother
called her and told her what happened. I just shrug my
shoulders.

She puts Junior down and she sits on the bed as well.
“Quinn called me last night crying and begging me to
fetch her cause you and Lisebo were fighting. She told
me he was hitting you. I was lost of words.”

I’m also lost words. I didn’t know my baby was affected

that much by this. I don’t want her to grow up thinking
it’s normal for a man to beat up a woman. I know how
kids who were raised under toxic relationships turn out
and I don’t want that for my child. Rati and Junior may be
too young to understand anything but she can see crystal
clear what is going on.

“I want to file for divorce Hlelo.”

“I.. I would too if I was in your position. Abuse is

intolerable and inexcusable.”

“But at the same time I know my husband and yesterday

it felt like someone else had taken over his body. It was
like he was possessed.”
“I also know him and the type of person he is. And I also
know how much he loves you but that doesn’t take away
the fact that he fucked up. You can’t keep making
excuses for him Bulelwa, he doesn’t deserve you. He
doesn’t deserve this family.”

“Trust me I’m not making excuses for him. Yesterday

whilst he was choking me something strange happened.
His faced turned into something very creepy and scary
but it was just for a second. Maybe I’ve lost my mind but
that’s what I saw.”

“So you honestly think it was not him?”

“I don’t know Hlelo. There are people bewitching us,

people who don’t want to see us happy. They’ve
managed to make an innocent baby sick, all of this could
be their work as well.”

I’m not going to tell her that her mom is involved cause I
know how Hlelo is, she’ll start feeling bad as if she has
control over what her mother does.
“Are you serious?” she widens her eyes and her jaw
drops. “Who is that? And what do they want?”

“It’s Katlego.”

“What!? The same Katlego I know? Wow! Does Jason

know about this?”

“He knows very well. It’s the reason we’re fighting. He’s
probably with her right now cause I’m the fool.”

“Don’t talk like that Bulelwa.”

“No I will divorce him so they can be together, they

deserve each other. My babies and I are going to be just
fine.”

“If you think that divorcing him is the best solution, then
I’m not going to tell you otherwise but remember you
suspect someone has a hand in all this, don’t turn a blind
eye. I will speak to my elders about this maybe they’ll
know which step to take when things are like this.” She
turns to Junior. “How evil can a person be to want to
harm such a young baby?”

Ask your mom.

“Please do me a favour Hlelo..”

“Mhm?”

“Please call Jason just to check if he’s okay wherever he

is.”

I don’t want to call him myself.

“I tried calling him last night after Quinn called me but it

went to voicemail. I’ll try again.” She says taking her
phone and she dials him.
“It’s still on voicemail.” She says.

I nod. Why do I even care about him cause it’s

conspicuous that he doesn’t care about me and his kids?

“Anyway…how are you and the baby?” I smile touching

her belly.

“We’re good. The baby is growing as you can see.”

Her belly is really growing.

“Pregnancy suits you, you look so cute. Have you set the
date for your wedding?”

“No. Tumi and I fight a lot lately, I doubt there’s even

going to be a wedding.”

I laugh.
“I’m sure you’re the one who fights with him every
chance you get and that’s caused by the pregnancy. Poor
Tumi.”

“I swear everything he does annoys me, is that normal?”

“Very normal. So is it a boy or girl?”

“I shouldn’t be telling you this but it’s a boy.”

Ooh I should probably throw her a baby shower. There’s

a huge possibility that her brother and I might get a
divorce but it doesn’t mean her and I should divorce as
well. I consider Hlelo as my friend now.

---
It’s been a whole week now since Jason left and you’d
think he’d be blowing up my phone begging for
forgiveness and begging to come back home but no. I
haven’t heard anything from him since he left. Not even
a text. I haven’t tried reaching out to him either. I know
he is with Katlego. The only time he’ll hear from me is
when he receive the divorce papers to sign. I wanted to
proceed with that but I was advised by his family to halt
cause they wanted to have a family meeting first with me
and him about this matter. The meeting is this weekend.

The good news is that my son hasn’t had any seizure

since we visited that spiritual healer. He’s back to being
that happy healthy baby he was. I was supposed to go
back to work this week but I can’t with everything going
on right now. I have been working from home though.
I’ve put Oratile back in daycare for my peace and sanity.
She’s on another level of naughty now she gives me a
headache. Every day she does something that makes me
almost hit her.

Junior has finally fallen asleep. I take my MacBook to

check my emails but I’m distracted by my phone ringing.
People have no timing yazi.

It’s a landline number.

“Hello.” I answer trying to hide the annoyance in my
voice.

“Baby it’s me.” He says.

Oh...... He finally remembered I exist.

“What do you want?”

“I’m in jail Bulelwa and I need your help.”

What!?

“Why? What happened?”

“I killed Katlego.”

Double what!?
Chapter Thirty One

I’m sitting in his study looking at this number in my hand

contemplating if I should actually call this Steve guy or
not. Jason asked me to find his number and call him to
inform him that he’s in jail. He said the guy will know
what to do and he’ll be out by tomorrow. But I’m sitting
here conflicted. A part of me feels like he deserves to be
in jail. Not only for killing a woman but for being the
person he has been lately. If he can kill a woman he was
married to, how sure am I that he won’t kill me one day?
But at the same time he’s still the father of my kids and
my husband, picturing him in a cell breaks my heart.

I decide to call Steve. I’m mad at Jason and there’s a

possibility we might get a divorce but I can’t let him stay
in jail. He’s still the love of my life, nothing will ever
change that.

“Yes?” he says when he picks up.

Uhm…okay.
“Hi Steve, you’re speaking to Bulelwa, Jason’s wife.”

“Oooh nice to finally meet you. Where is your husband?

I’ve been trying to call him since last week but his phone
is off.”

This man sounds like a very old man.

“He’s in jail.”

He laughs. It is funny?

“What did he do now?”

“I don’t know what he did but he said I should call you

and let you know.” I can’t bring myself to say that my
husband killed someone.

“Right…”
“Will you be able to help him get out like he said you
would?”

“Sure. He’ll be home by tomorrow if not later today.”

Who is this person? Is he perhaps the president? It must

be nice being Jason hey? You commit such serious crime
that people get life sentenced for but you get bailed out
so easily. It’s good that he’ll be back for the family
meeting on Saturday but I still don’t want him in my
house.

---

It’s Friday today. Quinn is at school but Oratile didn’t go

to daycare cause she has a photoshoot, yeap duty calls. I
have to wake her up now cause it’s scheduled for 11 am.

I walk upstairs to her room. I’m too late she’s already up.
“Oh my God! Hailey - Grace! What did you do?” I swear
this child will send me to early grave.

She has spilled her baby powder everywhere, on her bed,

on the carpet, even on her self – her hair is white. It’s just
a mess. Don’t ask me how she got it cause it was placed
out of her reach. I honestly don’t remember Quinn being
this naughty when she was her age.

“Mama..” she says with charming smile that makes you

forget you actually angry with her.

“No don’t give me that smile, you’re being a naughty

girl.”

Now I have to wash her hair and that is not an easy job.
She has never cut her hair ever since she was born so you
can imagine how big her afro is.

“Come on naughty baby.” I pick her up and I give her a

kiss.
I feed her first before giving her a bath and I wash her
hair whilst she’s still in the bathtub. I know we’ll fight
when I have to dry it with the hairdryer as if I said she
should put powder on her hair.

The bathroom door suddenly opens as I’m rinsing the

baby shampoo off her hair using the shower attached to
the bathtub.

“Dada!” she screams.

Oh what is he doing here? I should have changed the

locks. I turn to look at him but I don’t say anything, I
continue with what I was doing.

“Hey my Rati, how are you?” he says moving closer to

the bathtub.

Oratile stretches out her arms for him to pick her up.
“Oratile please I’m not done here.” I say.

“Wait for mommy to finish first and I will pick you up.
Give Dada a kiss.” He says.

She pouts her small lips and he gives her a kiss. For some
reason I get annoyed and I just pick up my child wrapping
her in her towel and I walk out with her.

I’ve finished drying her hair and dressing her up. I just left
her hair combed out cause they are going to style it at
the photoshoot set.

I freshen up cause I took a shower earlier and I

deliberately wear a short mustard suede mini skirt with a
black top and a mustard flannel blazer with mustard
suede block heels. With Oratile it took quite some time
to lose the pregnancy fat because I had to wait for the
caesarian stitch to heal before I could work out but with
Junior it was very easy, it just took 3 weeks and my body
was back to normal.
“Are you going somewhere?” Jason decides to ask when
he sees me getting my handbag.

No. I dressed up, even wore heels to stay in the house – I

reply in my head.

“Look after Junior.” That’s the only thing I say before

walking out of the house with Rati.

The photoshoot took like three hours. It was a catalogue

photoshoot so she had fun cause they just them toys to
play with and they snap pictures. What wasn’t fun is that
she had to change her hairstyle for every outfit that she
wore.

We drive from the photoshoot to pick up Quinn from

school and I take my girls to the mall. I don’t know how
Quinn will feel that Jason is back.
“Mom you should’ve came with Junior not this demon.”
She says putting Rati down.

Quinn wants to carry her but Oratile wants to use her

feet so she decided to slap her big sister.

“Don’t call my child a demon. Junior is with your father.”

“Where?”

“At home.” I say.

“When did he come back?”

“This morning.”

“You not scared he’ll hit you again?”

“Uhm..no. He won’t baby, he made a mistake.”

She nods.

We walk in at CNA cause I need a new diary.

“Mom can I get this please?” she asks picking up an

Ariana Grande album.

“Quinn you have all those songs on your phone.”

“Yes but I need this as well.”

Sigh.

“Okay.”

It’s only when we get to the till that I realize she took 3
copies of the same album. She told me the other two are
for her friends. Double sigh.
We drive home listening to this Ariana Grande album and
I find myself also singing along to these songs, they
catchy. God is a woman is my personal favorite.

---

It’s Saturday morning and we have to drive to Jason’s

family home at the village. If I knew the directions well I
wouldn’t drive with him. Last night he wanted to sleep in
the same bed with me but I refused so he ended up using
one of the spare rooms.

The car is filled with silence, not even the radio is playing
and the tension is so thick you can literally cut it with a
knife. He doesn’t know that this family meeting is about
me wanting to divorce him, he’ll get a shock of his life.

We park in the yard and we get off the car. We enter the
house through the front door. I see Jason’s mom and I
feel anger slithering all over my body. All the elders are
gathered in the living room as if they were just waiting
for us.

We greet and we sit but not next to each other. Jason’s

grandpa still intimidates me. I’m sitting next to Rakgadi
Sbongile, probably the most amiable person in this room.

“Lisebo the reason we have called this meeting is

because Mma Oratile is complaining about you.” The
uncle that talks a lot says.

Jason is just sitting leaning forward with his elbows on his

thighs and he keeps popping his fingers.

“A week ago I received a call from Hlelo telling me that

you are beating your wife. Is that how you were raised?
To beat woman up? Is that what you have been taught in
this family?” the uncle continues.

Jason decides to keep his mouth shut and he continues

popping his fingers.
“Now Mma Oratile wants to divorce you, are you
happy?”

“Divorce?” he finally speaks looking at me with shock

discernibly visible on his face.

“Don’t look at her, I’m the one who is talking to you! She
wants to divorce you and we won’t stop her if she’s not
happy in this marriage.”

I feel Rakgadi Sbongile holding my shoulder in a

comforting way.

“It’s not his fault.” Jason’s mom barges in.

“Mma Lisebo don’t make excuses for your son, what he

did is unacceptable.”- the uncle.
“No this is all my fault.” She says and she just starts
wailing.

And then drama Queen?

“My son I’m sorry..” She says.

“Mma Lisebo what are you talking about?” the uncle

asks.

“I did this to my son because I wanted to break him up

with Mma Oratile, my son forgive me..” she confesses
crying.

Jason’s face has turned to that scary look and I just want
to run out.

He gets up and he walks to his mom and he starts

choking her.
“Haibo!” Rakgadi Sbongile shouts.

“How dare you?” he says in that voice that doesn’t sound

like his voice.

All the men get up and they try to pull him off her but he
seems stronger than all of them. There’s just havoc in
this house. Strangely the grandpa is sitting calmly on his
couch like nothing is happening.

“Jason stop!” I shout but it falls on deaf ears.

His mom is now gasping for air and her eyes are all out. I
can’t watch him killing his mom.

“Sthandwa sam please stop.” I beg trying to pull him but

he pushes me with his elbow and I almost land on the
floor.

“Kgomotso!” the grandpa shouts and Kgomotso instantly

appears in the living room.
“Go to Masgidi's house and ask her to come here
immediately, it’s urgent. Run Kgomotso.” He says.

The men have managed to get Jason off his mom but
he’s still fighting to go back to her. I rush to the kitchen
and I get her a glass of water cause she’s just coughing
nonstop.

“Can’t you all see this person is not himself right now?”-
Grandpa.

2 minutes later Kgomotso walks back in the house with a

woman looking like a sangoma following behind her.

“Ntate.” She says.

“Masgidi I need your help, there’s definitely something

that has taken over my grandson’s body, you need to
calm him before he hurts anyone.”
Masgidi sends Kgomotso to her house to fetch her bag
and again Kgomotso runs out, poor kid. And Jason on the
other side is not giving up, he still wants to go to his mom
but the men are holding him.

Kgomotso comes back and she hands the bag to Masgidi.

She asks the men to hold Jason tightly and she reaches in
her bag pulling out some powder and she blows it on
Jason’s face. I see him promptly getting weak and he
passes out. They lay him on the floor.

Everyone starts calming down.

“What happened here?” Masgidi asks.

“Mma Lisebo tell Masgidi what did you do to your son.”-

Grandpa.

“There’s a beast living inside his body that gets

unleashed every time he has an argument with his wife.
You have to heal my son please. The purpose was for him
to hit his wife every time they have an argument so they
can get a divorce…I think Katlego overdosed him now it’s
out of control, please you have to help him…” she turns
to me. “Mma Oratile I’m really sorry I don’t know what I
was doing please forgive me.” She cries.

She has never called me Mma Oratile, I’ve always been

just Bulelwa to her.

“Who is Katlego?” Masgidi asks.

“My son’s ex wife, I was working with her.”

“She has to be here as well for me to be able to try and

take out this beast. It seems to be very strong and it
looks like it won’t be easy. I need a whole week to
prepare myself for this job. In the meantime, the only
person who will be able to calm him down when this
beast is awakened is the one person he is strongly
connected to. Are you his wife?” she asks looking at me.
I nod.

“Has he attacked you before?”

I nod again.

“You were supposed to die when he attacked you. Even

the person he wanted to attack right now was going to
die if there wasn’t anyone holding him back. Do you
remember what made him stop when he attacked you?”

“My daughter walked in and told him to stop, that’s

when the real him actually came back.”

“Right. He has the strongest connection to that child and

she’s the only person who will be able to calm him down
when the beast awakens.”

He has the strongest connection to Quinn? Not even his

real kids?
“How old is the child?” she asks.

“She’s 10.”

“Okay I want you to do me a favour, next week Friday

you have to come back here and that’s when we’ll start
the healing process but until then, you can’t sleep in the
same bedroom with him, he has to sleep with that child
and please try to avoid anything that would make him
angry. Don’t argue with him. He will wake up now in
about 15 minutes and he won’t remember anything,
don’t try to remind him.”

Again I just nod.

“Remember on Friday I need you and the mother and the

ex-wife here, also come with the child.” She says getting
up.

Katlego is dead!
“I’m sorry there’s something else.” I say.

“Mhm?”

“They also did something to our 6 months old son

causing him to have seizures.”

Everyone looks shocked.

“The mother and the ex-wife?” even the sangoma is

shocked.

I nod.

“Mma Lisebo you did that to your grandchild? How

twisted are you?”- Grandpa.
“I swear Ntate I wasn’t involved in that, I’m just as
shocked. It was probably Katlego but she didn’t tell me
about it.”

The sangoma sighs.

“Come with your son as well, I’ll see what I can do for
him.”

“Is it compulsory for Katlego to be here?” I ask.

“It a must otherwise I won’t be able to help your

husband.”

“But she’s dead.” I reveal.

“What?” everyone says at the same time, including

Masgidi.
There has to be an alternative way to help my husband,
he can’t live with a beast in him for the rest of his life.
*
*
*
Guys I don't edit these things, if you come across an error
or a missing word or whatever..read right past it ingathi
awuyiboni 😊🤣
Chapter Thirty Two

We’re driving back home with my husband. The sangoma

said since Katlego is gone then the person, no the witch
that helped them do all this dirty work must also come
on Friday. Jason’s mom said she’ll try and get her to
come with her. I’m just hoping and praying that she
agrees to come, my husband needs to get help. The kids
and I need the real him back. I’m still in shock that his
mother went to those lengths just to separate us. Then
she tells me Nywa Oratile I’m nyorry mxm. I don’t want
her anywhere near my house or my kids.
“I don’t get how I passed out, I’ve never passed out in my
life.” He says.

“It’s the heat. I don’t know what were you thinking

wearing a long-sleeved shirt in this heat.”

The fact that I have to be extra careful with what I say to

him now, sigh.

“What was the meeting about? Why did they call us

over?”

“Your grandpa is planning a little family gathering on

Friday so they were inviting us.” I say.

“Oh. This coming Friday?”

“Yes.”

“So am I forgiven now? Can I come back home?”

Dude you’ve already invited yourself back home. How
will I tell him we can’t sleep in the same room? And the
fact that we can’t have sex cause that also is prohibited.

“Yeah you can come back home.” I give him a smile

taking his free hand.

He also gives me a smile and he kisses my hand.

I’m thinking about the fact the one person he is strongly

connected to in this world is Quinn. Shouldn’t it be me?
Or at least one of his real kids? Ugh Quinn is also his real
kid, what I mean is that does this mean he loves her
more than the rest of us? And why am I feeling jealous
over my own child? Will she even agree to sleep with him
since she fears him now.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

“Hmm? Nothing.”
“You’re lying.”

“Who do you love more than everyone in this world?”

“My wife and my kids.”

“If you had to pick just one person. And answer

honestly.”

He laughs.

“Out of all your kids, if you had to pick your favorite who
would you pick?”

“I love all my kids equally but my favourite at the

moment has to be Rati, there’s never a dull moment with
her.” I say laughing. He laughs too.
“It’s the stage. Actually this is the perfect time to start
trying for number 4, don’t you think?”

I’m about to protest like geez give my body a break but I

remember I can’t argue with him.

“Hmm.” That’s all I say.

“So you’ll stop taking the pill?”

“If that’s what you want, yes I will stop.”

I’m not going to stop taking the pill, I don’t want another
baby. Or at least not right now. Plus it would just be
unfair on Junior, he’s not even a year old and now his
father wants to bring in another baby that will take all
our attention away from him?

We get home and as usual Rati comes running but she

doesn’t come to me, she goes to her father. I don’t know
if she actually hears the car driving in cause every time
you open the front door she’s always ready to run to you.
But she only loves me when her father is not here.
Quinn is lying on the couch with her earphones on and
she’s just busy on her phone not bothered that we’re
back. I follow Oratile with her father upstairs, I’ll speak to
Quinn later.

“My daughter hates me and I don’t blame her.” He says

looking at Junior who is sleeping peacefully in his cot.

“Don’t say that, she doesn’t even understand what the

word hate means.”

“Bulelwa she’s scared to even look at me.”

Obviously. She saw you hurting her mother, it’s normal

for her to feel that way.

“I will speak to her.”

I walk into the closet and I take off my shoes and I put on
my sleepers.

“Do you want me to make you anything to eat? Aren’t

you hungry?” I ask when I walk out.

“I’m hungry but first I need some sugar, I missed you my

love.” He moves closer to me.

I hold my breath. He places his hand on my jawline and

he starts kissing me still holding Rati in his arm so can
you imagine how closely she’s looking at the kiss.

“Not in front of her babe.”

As I say that, Oratile decides to hit me on my face. What

the hell?

“Hey! Don’t hit me! What did I do?”

“You don’t want to kiss her daddy. That was a hot slap.”
Jason says laughing.

I don’t see anything funny.

“It’s not funny Jason. Rati baby don’t hit mommy.”

She just looks at me unapologetic. She may look like me

but now we all know she has her father’s character.
What was I thinking saying she’s my favourite at the
moment? Quinn and Junior are my favourite not this
little demon.

“Wena you find it funny? Let’s see who will make you
food.” I say and he decides to spank my butt as I walk
away.

“That hurts Jase!”

“But you love it!”

Gosh how will I be able to keep his hands and his dick off
me for the entire week? I can’t even use the “I’m on my
periods” excuse because he doesn’t mind period sex. This
reminds me of the funny story that happened before I
got pregnant with Junior. I was on my periods and it was
my last day so I took my evening shower and I put on a
tampon. I don’t know how in sweet Jesus name I forgot
that I had a tampon on and my husband and I made love
that night, somehow he didn’t feel that I had a tampon
on and he actually pushed it further inside me with his
dick. So in the morning I’m taking a shower and I
suddenly remembered I had a tampon on. I panicked and
searched for the string to pull it out but there was no
string to be seen. I unpremeditatedly got out of the
shower, yes with some of my body parts unwashed. I
took Rati and we drove straight to her father’s office. We
got there I was still panicking to a point where I almost
cried and the idiot that is my husband found it funny. I
told him he needs to find the tampon and take it out or
else… So he made me lie on the couch and I spread my
legs like I’ve never spread them before, I’m sure even
when I was giving birth I never spread them like that, I
was just scared. He started searching inside my vagina
with his fingers, he really dug his fingers deep in me.
When he finally found it I was bleeding like hell he
actually took me to the gynaecologist and luckily I wasn’t
hurt. That was the last time I used a tampon thank you
very much.

Anyway… I’m done making him food now I need to find

Quinn so I can speak to her.

“Vuyelwa!” I shout going upstairs.

I find her in her room looking like she’s searching for

something.

“Mom do you have to shout all the time?”

“I felt like shouting your name, what are you searching

for?”

“My phone case cause Rati smashed my phone on the

floor again.”
“I’m sorry, did it break?”

“No. And she hit me when I reprimanded her.”

“She slapped me as well. I’ll chop off her hands if she

keeps hitting people. Uhm... how do you feel about your
dad being back?”

She turns to me and she shrugs her shoulders.

“Have you spoken to him?”

“I only greeted him.”

“You know he’s going through something right now and

he needs us to be there for him.”

“What?”
“You’re too young to understand baby but the time you
saw him hitting me, he wasn’t himself. There’s something
controlling his actions that’s why he hit me, you know
your dad wouldn’t do that.”

“What is controlling his actions?”

“Like I said you won’t understand but we went to get

help today and they told us to come back on Friday. The
person who will help him said you’re the only person
who will be able to calm him down when he starts acting
that way.”

“Me?” she frowns.

“Yes. Do you know why?”

She shakes her head.

“Because he loves you very much. Now I want you to do
me a favour baby, you have to sleep with us until he gets
help.”

“Why?”

“Cause when he’s around you, he doesn’t become

violent.”

“I don’t get it.”

“And I don’t expect you to but you’ll sleep with us right?”

She nods.

“Thank you. I love you very much.”

---
It’s Wednesday today, 4th day since Quinn started
sleeping with us. When Jason asked me why is she
sleeping with us I just told him she has nightmares when
she’s sleeping alone. He doesn’t seem to have a problem
with her sleeping with us and also, that has helped me
stop him from trying to do anything with me at night.
Every time he tries to get intimate with me, I just tell him
I’m tired. I don’t have a better excuse.

It’s the morning and I just got back home from dropping
Quinn off at school and Rati at daycare. I find Jason with
Junior in his nursery, he’s feeding him his bottle.

“My two favourite gentlemen in this entire world.” I say

and I move closer to them. “Hey my handsome Prince..” I
say patting Junior’s nose with my finger. He gives me his
toothless grin and he screams in a happy manner.

“You know he was just about to sleep now he’s wide

awake.” His father says.
“He’s excited to see mommy. Did you change his
diaper?”

“No he didn’t make a poo poo.”

“Babe you’re supposed to change it in the morning even

if he didn’t make a poo poo.”

“Should I change it now?”

“No it’s fine, I’ll give him a bath just now.”

My phone starts ringing, I reach for it and I check the

caller Id. Eish it’s Jason’s mom.

I step out of the bedroom before answering.

“Hello?”
“Mma Oratile the woman finally agreed to come on
Friday but it’s going to be costly.”

By “woman” she means the witch that helped her and

Katlego do their dirty Job.

“It’s okay, as long as she’s there and willing to help.”

“That’s what I told her. How is he doing though?”

“He’s good, he hasn’t gotten violent since Saturday.”

“Okay, I’ll call again tomorrow. Kiss my grandkids for

me.”

I roll my eyes before dropping the call.

“Who was that?” Jason asks as I step back in the

bedroom.
“On the phone? It was a call center agent selling me
insurance.” I can’t really tell him it was his mom, he’ll get
furious and that’s the last thing we need.

“Bulelwa I know when you’re lying. Who is he?”

“Who?”

“The man you’re cheating with.” He’s says composedly.

“Baby I’m not cheating.”

“Bulelwa you don’t want me to touch you, you can’t

answer your phone in my present. I’m not stupid who is
satisfying you?”

I’m literally in danger right now.

“It was your mother calling me, you can check my phone
if you don’t believe me.”
“Didn’t I tell you never to speak to that woman?”

I see him putting Junior in his cot and I just know he’s
going to attack me, and Quinn is not even home. I might
die today. Nothing I say will stop him.

I think about running out and lock him in here but I can’t
lock him up with Junior, what if he attacks my child.

“Why aren’t you talking now?” he’s slowly coming

towards me and I’m stepping back.

“Baby I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me.”

“I’m not going to hurt you my love.” He comes closer and

he holds my waist.

I’ve literally held my breath. He starts sniffing my neck, I

look over him and I can see the picture of him and the
kids on my bedside. Maybe seeing a picture of Quinn will
calm him down. But how will I get to that picture?

As I’m thinking of a way, I feel teeth biting into my skin

on the nape of my neck and I literally scream, that
fucking hurts!

“Buhle! Aunt Mary!” I scream at the top of my lungs.

One of them has to hear me.

“What are you calling them for?” he says and I know with
that voice the beast has taken over.

And then the hand goes to my neck and he starts choking

the life out of me. Come on! Where are these women?

“Think of Quinn babe.” I say but it doesn’t work. He

doesn’t let go.
I see Aunt Mary walking in.

“Maria ocwebileyo!” she places her hand over her mouth

and she freezes in terror. Like geez woman I’m dying
here and you’re frozen.

“Get..get Quinn’s..pi..picture..” he’s choking me so tightly

it’s even hard to articulate a word and I can feel my soul
leaving my body.

Aunt Mary decides to run out shouting Buhle's name. Did

she hear what I said? I’m going to die.

I can’t breath anymore and my vision keeps getting

darker and darker with every second that he’s choking
me.

His face has turned into that scary creature and I

suddenly feel my feet leaving the ground. He lifts me up
with his one hand on my neck only to slam me hard on
the ground and everything shut down the moment I
landed on the floor.
...to be continued.
Continuation..
I open my eyes but I shut them immediately. Gosh why is
the lighting in here so bright? Do they want blind me? Oh
shit! I’m in heaven, this explains the ridiculous
brightness. Where’s God? He needs to dim these lights a
bit, I’m still new here my eyes haven’t adjusted.

“God!” I shout with eyes still closed.

I feel him taking my hand. I smile.

“God I want to open my eyes but the lights are blinding

me, can you do something about it?”

“Bulelwa…” that’s Hlelo's voice.

Is she in heaven too?

I open my eyes slowly and I see her and Babalwa
standing over me.

“Are you guys dead as well?” I laugh. “How did you die?”

They look at each other. Hlelo is still pregnant even in her

death?

“No one is dead B you’re tripping.” That’s Babalwa.

“My husband killed me.”

“If he killed you, you wouldn’t be here. You’re in

hospital.”

I look around. Oh...... I’m not dead.

“How are you feeling?” Hlelo asks.

“Tired. Where are my kids?”

“Your kids are okay. Quinn is at school and Rati is at

daycare.”

“And my son?”

“He’s with the nanny.”

“What nanny?”

“B you’ve been out for 4 weeks now, we had to hire a

nanny but I also go to your house everyday to check on
the kids.” Hlelo explains.

I’ve been lying like this for 4 weeks? Yikes I’m sure I have
bed sours now.

“What about my husband? Where’s my husband?”

“He…uhm…” she turns to Babalwa.

“Hlelo where’s my husband?” my voice is firmer now.

“He’s at home, at the village. He’s staying there until he

gets help.”

There’s something these people are hiding from me.

I try to sit up but there’s something wrong with my legs, I

can’t feel them. I try to move them but they’re not
moving.

“Babalwa call the doctor there’s something wrong with

my legs!” I say already pressing the buzzer like it’s a panic
button.

“B calm down please..” that’s Hlelo and there are

suddenly tears in her eyes.
The doctor rushes in within minutes.

“Mrs Lekoane you’re awake!” he says excitedly.

“There’s something wrong with my legs!”

The excitement on his face is immediately substituted

with pity.

“Mrs Lekoane I’m very sorry but you suffered a spine

injury. Now that doesn’t mean you’ll use a wheelchair for
the rest of your life, with a fair amount of physiotherapy
there is a chance that you will be able to walk again.”

Use a what? What is this man saying to me? I’m not

going to use a wheelchair, he definitely made a mistake
there I can walk.

“I’ll give you some space.” He says before walking out.

I try to lift my leg but it’s not moving. I try again with
extra effort but nothing happens. I burst into tears. Place
your hand on a flat surface and then try to lift only your
ring finger. That’s how trying to move my legs feels.

I can’t be a cripple. How will I take care of my kids sitting

on a wheelchair? How will I be a wife to my husband
sitting on a wheelchair? I might as well accept that my
life is over. Why didn’t Jason just kill me?

“Don’t cry B, it’s going to be okay.” That’s Babalwa but

she’s also crying.

“It’s not going to be okay! I can’t live on a wheelchair!”

“The doctor said with a fair amount of physiotherapy you

might walk again, it’s not the end of the world.”
“He said might Hlelo! It’s not guaranteed that I’ll be able
to walk again. Do you see what your mother has done?” I
release more tears.

“I’m sorry..” she hugs me also crying.

How does this even happen? How can I lose my ability to

walk just like that? It’s like a horrible dream. It’s like I’ll
wake up and they’ll tell me it’s all a fucked up joke.

“I need to see my kids.” I say when Hlelo finally decides

to pull away from embracing me.

“Let’s wait for the doctor to tell us when is he discharging

you.”

“I don’t care what the doctor says, I want my kids.”

“I can bring Quinn and Oratile here.” Hlelo offers.

“No I want to go home please.”

“I’ll get the doctor.” Babalwa says and she walks out of
the ward.

We’re left with awkward silent between Hlelo and I.

“Why didn’t you tell me B?” she breaks the silence.

I look at her.

“Why didn’t you tell me what my mother did?”

“I don’t know, I just didn’t want you to feel bad about

something your mom did.”

“I didn’t know she was this evil until this.”

I actually don’t want to talk about her mom right now.

“Who takes my kids to school and fetches them?”

“I’ve been doing that. I drive past your house in the

morning to pick them up and sometimes when I’m
working late I ask Reneilwe to fetch them from school
cause Babalwa was away, she came back 2 days ago.”

“I don’t know how to thank you Hlelo. It must have been

hard on you considering you’re pregnant and I know Rati
is a handful on her own.”

“It’s nothing really, they are like my kids as well. Rati is a

handful but you can’t help but love her.”

“Uhm…has Quinn ever questioned why I’m in hospital?”

“She has. I’ve brought her here a couple of times. I told

her you fell down the stairs cause I didn’t know what else
to say. Oh and Sli was here last week. She literally cried
Bulelwa, you should give her a call.”
Sigh.

“I will when I get home.”

I can just imagine what my baby was going through

seeing her mom lying lifeless for a whole month.

Babalwa walks back in with the doctor.

“Can I go home please.” I say.

“Uh… Mrs Lekoane I have to keep you here overnight to

ensure everything is okay then I can discharge you in the
morning.”

“We can get a private doctor to do that from home, she

wants to leave today.” Hlelo says.

The doctor finally decides to discharge me.

I’m wearing my pajamas, I don’t know how.

I see one of the nurses walking in pushing an automatic

wheelchair that has 4 small wheels, it’s not the normal
wheelchair that has 2 huge wheels. I look at Hlelo and
then at her.

“Let me help you.” Hlelo says and she helps me sit on the
edge of the bed with my legs dangling.

The nurse brings the wheelchair closer.

“Get this stupid thing out of here!” I shout hitting it with

my hand and it hits the floor.

I hope it broke. I will show these people that they made a

mistake and I can walk. The nurse has lifted the
wheelchair on its wheels again and they just looking at
me not knowing what to do.
“B you-“ I cut her off.

“I can walk Babalwa!”

I try to lift my butt off the bed and I try to stand on my

feet but I land on the floor. They all panic.

“Ma’am!” that’s the nurse.

“Bulelwa please, you’re going to hurt yourself.” That’s

Hlelo trying to help me up together with Babalwa.

“How can I hurt myself any further than this? I can’t

walk! What could be worse than this?” I say and I start
crying all over again.

They help me up and they place me on this fucking

wheelchair.
Babalwa had to sign my discharge papers. I’m not even
interested in learning how this stupid wheelchair works.

Hlelo wheels me out to her car and again they both have
to lift me up and put me in the car. I don’t know how the
fuck am I going to do this. How will I go up the stairs in
my house? How will I get in bed? How will I bath? God
really didn’t think this through.

“I want to see my husband as well.” I say breaking the

silence in the car.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea Bulelwa, he almost killed

you.”- Hlelo.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks, I need my husband.”

“We lied B, he’s in jail.”-Babalwa.

What??
“Why is he in jail? None of this is his fault! If there’s
anyone who should be in jail, it should be your mother
Hlelo not my husband! You need to get him out of
there!”

“He’s dangerous Bulelwa, what if he attacks you again?”-

Babalwa.

You know what? Fuck these people, I will get my

husband out of jail myself. He will sleep at home tonight.

The rest of the drive home is just filled with silence.

We get home and they ask one of the bodyguards to

carry me inside. This is why I need my husband here.

I find my son on his swing in the living room. I feel tears

trickling my eyes again. I know I’ve been away for just a
month but he looks so grown and he’s a duplicate of his
father.
“Junior..” I say looking at him.

He starts making those loud sounds babies make in

excitement. I’m glad he still remembers me.

“Please bring him to me Bebe.” I say.

“Come on cutie, there’s mama.” Babalwa says taking him

out of his swing and she gives him a kiss before handing
him to me.

“My baby.. hello my love.” I say and I can’t stop kissing

him.

He’s still making his noisy sounds, he’s just a happy baby.

“Mom!” I hear Quinn’s voice as I’m still playing with

Junior causing me to look up.
She’s standing a couple of feet away from us. I force a
smile but she doesn’t smile back. You can literally see the
mixture of sadness and anger and excitement in her
eyes. I’m not quiet sure what she’s mad about but she’s
probably sad cause I’m sitting on a wheelchair and happy
I’m home.

“Come give me a hug baby, aren’t you happy I’m home?”

I say.

“Mom why are you on a wheelchair?”

I feel the lump in my throat but I swallow it. I can’t cry

now, I have to be strong for my kids.

“It’s just temporary, come on.” I say handing Junior to

Hlelo.

She comes to me and she throws herself on me like do

you want to paralyze me further than this?
She sits on my lap and she wraps her arms around my
neck.

“Mommy I thought you weren’t going to wake up, I was

scared.”

She called me mommy, I missed that.

“I’m so sorry baby.” I say hugging her tighter. “Did you

miss me?”

“Just a little.”

“Just a little? You’re lying.”

“I’m joking I missed you very much.”

“I know you missed me.” I say tickling her.

“Mom stop it, I’m not Junior!” she yells before getting off
me.

“I love you.” I say.

“I love you too.”

Now where’s my other baby?

“Where is your sister?”

“Rati is sleeping, don’t even think about waking her

cause you’ll regret it.”

I laugh for the first time since I woke up.

“She’s still naughty?”

“She’s worse.”
I shake my head. Even with her mischief I still miss her.

“Mom how will you go to your room?” Quinn asks.

Speaking of that, I need to do something.

“Babalwa can you wheel me to the study?”

“B we got you an automatic wheelchair to avoid pushing

you around, and I have to go now, I have a flight to catch
in like 2 hours.”

Sigh.

“Where are you flying to?”

“I have a photo shoot in LA. I’ll give you a call, be strong

okay?” she kisses me on the cheek and she kisses Junior
before walking out.
Double sigh.

“I’ll push you to the study mommy.” Quinn offers.

“Will you manage baby?”

“I can try.”

She pushes me only halfway to the study and I stop her

cause I can see she’s struggling. She’s even breathing
heavily.

“Check this out.” I say turning the wheelchair to

automatic mode before pressing the forward button and
the wheelchair moves on it’s own. It has a gear and I can
adjust the speed, it’s basically like a car.
I get inside the study and I start searching for that Steve
guy’s number who helped Jason get out of jail last time. I
find it in Jason’s diary. I’m praying it still works.

I use the landline phone to call him.

“Mrs Lekoane.” He says.

How did he know it was me?

“Hi Steve, I need your help.”

“How may I help you my lady?”

“My husband is in jail again and I need him home.”

“Oh since when?”

“I believe it’s been a month now.”

“For so long? Why didn’t you call me earlier?”

“I wasn’t aware and I wasn’t home.” That’s all I say.

He laughs. I don’t know what’s funny but okay.

“He must be going through shit right now. I’ll see if I’ll be
able to get him out today or tomorrow, but the latest is
tomorrow.”

“Thank you so much Steve.”

“Don’t thank me, your husband pays me to do this.”

The things money can do, smh.

I almost call at my magazine offices but I remember they

told me it’s Saturday today. I wonder how things are
going there, maybe I’m sitting on this damn wheelchair
and my company has gone bankrupt.

I don’t know what will happen when Jason comes home

and finds me on a wheelchair. Does he even remember
what happened? And I mustn’t forget the fact that he
may still be perilous to me. I have to stick by the rules,
don’t get him angry and no sharing a bed. I’ll be sleeping
in one of the bedrooms downstairs anyway.

I move back to the living room and I ask Hlelo to let her
mom know I want to proceed with the healing process as
soon as possible cause honestly I’m tired of all this. I
need my husband and my life back. Well I know I won’t
get my life back since I have dead legs now, I might as
well get them removed cause they useless.

Hlelo left and now I’m just here with my babies and
Buhle and the new nanny Precious. They told me Aunt
Mary left after witnessing what happened between Jason
and I. Honestly if I was in her shoes I would have left as
well, that must have traumatized her.
“Quinn go and get Rati please.” I miss my baby and I
can’t take it anymore.

“She’s sleeping!”

“It’s okay if she wakes up.”

“But mom!”

“Are you going to do it or should I ask Buhle?”

She mumbles something under her breath before getting

up from the couch and she walks upstairs clearly
annoyed. Since when does she give me attitude?

She comes back carrying Rati like she’s carrying I don’t

know what.
“Hey put my baby down if you don’t want to hold her,
she can walk. Rati baby come here!”

I watch Quinn putting her down and I expect her to run

to me but she doesn’t. She just clenches Quinn's short.

I press the forward button on the wheelchair to move

closer to them and she starts crying. My heart breaks. I’m
not sure if she’s crying because she’s scared of the
wheelchair or what.

I pick her up and I place her on my lap.

“It’s me baby, it’s mommy.”

“Nooo!” she says still crying and trying to get off me.

“Rati it’s mommy.” Quinn says.

Kids are frustrating cause you never know what’s going
on in their heads. I don’t know why she’s crying but it
can’t be because she doesn’t remember me. I’d expect
Junior to forget me after being gone for a month cause
he’s still a baby.

Quinn takes her from me and she stops crying. She looks
at me before stretching out her arms for me to take her.

“Rati you’re confused.” Quinn says handing her to me

again.

“Mama..” She says and wants to press the buttons on

this wheelchair.

Oh boy! I turn off automatic mode and I let her play with
the buttons. At least she’s sitting on me without crying.

---
I’m sleeping in one of the rooms downstairs, well not
really sleeping. It’s 2 am and I’m just lying here, my mind
is all over the place. Buhle helped me get in bed, I
couldn’t even take a shower. I don’t know how am I
going to do this, this house clearly wasn’t designed for a
person in a wheelchair.

I’m startled by the door opening and the lights go on.

I left my eyes and they’re met with my husband’s eyes.

He stares at me still standing by the doorway. He’s lost so
much weight and he looks awful. He doesn’t look like my
husband.

We stare at each other a little too long before he walks in

slowly. He comes to my side, he kneels down taking my
hand and he starts wailing. I’ve seen him cry but not like
this. He’s releasing strong loud sobs and I find myself also
crying silently.
(Unedited)
*
*
*
I know I'm hated here but to those that still love me,
thank you and
I love you too ❤ I wrote my last paper on Friday so I'm
going to try and finish up the story 💕
Chapter Thirty Three
“I’m so sorry Bulelwa, I’m sorry sthandwa sam…” he cries
squeezing my hand.

“It’s okay… we’ll get through this. God hasn’t forsaken

us.” I try wiping my endless tears with my free hand.

“I put you on a damn wheelchair. I don’t even deserve to

be here right now. I’m want to walk away from this
marriage because you don’t deserve this. You deserve a
better man. I failed you as a husband Bulelwa. I failed my
kids..” He releases more tears and I can literally see the
pain in his eyes and that is just breaking my heart more.
“You are not going anywhere Jason. You remember on
our wedding day I stood in front of a whole congregation
and vowed to love you when our love is easy and when it
is an effort? I meant that. I’m not going to give up on
you, our love is strong enough to conquer this. And none
of this is your fault.”

He’s still crying his eyeballs out and it seems like nothing
I say will make him stop so I’m just going to hold his hand
and allow him to let it all out.

After what felt like years of listening to his sobs, he finally

lifts his head and he looks at me with bloodshot eyes.

“It’s okay, you will get help.” I assure him.

“I heard I shouldn’t share a bed with you.”

Oh so he now knows what is going on?

I nod.
He gets up slowly and he kisses my forehead before
heading for the door.

“Jason..”

He turns around.

“I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

He looks at me with so much sorrow before switching off

the lights and he walks out.

I can’t bear seeing my husband like that, it’s killing me. I

check the time on my phone, it’s still 3 am. I don’t think
I’ll be able sleep. I check my work emails and I reply to
some texts. I also text Sli letting her know I’m home now
before going to Google and I start researching about
spinal cord injuries cause I need to know if I’ll be able to
walk again or the doctor just said that to make me feel
better.
I guess I fell asleep somewhere in my research. It’s
Sunday morning and I’m still in bed but I need the
bathroom. No one cared to come and check on me. Or
maybe everyone is still sleeping?

I stretch out my arm and I bring the wheelchair closer to

the bed and I try sitting up. I’m just going to lift my butt
off the bed and place it on the wheelchair.

I try but I’m scared. I’m scared to fall.

I take my phone and I call Jason.

He answers almost immediately.

“Sthandwa sam.”

“Uhm…I need your help.”

“I’m coming.” He says and drops the call.

The door opens after a minute.

“You okay?” he says.

I doubt he was sleeping. He still looks awfully drained.

“Yeah I just need the bathroom, can you help me get on

the wheelchair please.”

He comes closer to the bed and he scoops me up in his

arms.

“You’re not going to use that wheelchair when I’m here.”

He says before walking out of the bedroom and he takes
me upstairs.

This is the first time I’m going upstairs since I got back.
He takes me to our bedroom and into the bathroom. He
helps me do my business before carrying me to our bed.

“You’re going to sleep here on our bed, I’ll sleep in a

different room.” He says.

I just nod.

“Do you need anything?” he asks.

“I need to take a bath.”

“Right now?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

He walks in the bathroom and I hear water running.

I take off my pajama top and I wait for him.

He comes back and he helps take off my pajama pants

before picking me up again and he takes me to the
bathroom. He puts me inside the bathtub filled with
vanilla scented water and covered in foam.

“Thank you.” I say.

Shame even with all the weight he has lost, he still has
strength to carry me.

“Should I bathe you?”

I give him a faint smile.

“My hands still work.” I say.

“Shout my name when you’re done.”

I nod and he walks out.

I just soak myself in the water and I close my eyes. My

mind shifts to my wedding day, that was the happiest
day of my life. Jason and I were both ecstatic and I want
our life to go back there. When everything is over, I think
I know what will bring light and love back in this family.

I call out his name when the water gets cold and he
rushes in the bathroom within seconds, geez.

He takes me out of the bathtub and takes me back to the

bed. I dry my body and I lotion and he helps me put on
some clothes.

“I’m going to make you some breakfast.” He says.

I nod and I ask him to pass me my phone before he walks

out.
I start by calling Hlelo.

“Hi B.” She sounds like she was still sleeping, oops I just
woke up a pregnant woman from her beauty sleep.

“I’m sorry to wake you and the baby.”

She chuckles.

“It’s okay..”

“I just wanted to know-" as I’m speaking I hear her

whispering “Tumi stop..” and she giggles.

I smile to myself.

“I just wanted to know if you have spoken to your

mom?”
“Oh yes. She’s coming there with both the sangoma and
the other woman later today cause they have to start the
healing process very early tomorrow morning.”

I breathe a sigh of relief. I hope Jason’s demons don’t

awaken when he sees his mom. But Quinn is here and
tomorrow she’s not going to school cause it’s the school
holidays so I trust everything will be fine.

“Okay thank you. Tell Tumi I said hi.”

“He’s so annoying…Tumi please..” She starts giggling

again.

I just drop the call. A happy couple. No I’m not envious

geez.

I decide to call Sli as well cause I sent her a text yesterday

but she didn’t get back to me.

She answers with just “hmm?”

Gosh why am I waking people cause it’s still very early.

“Sli it’s me.”

“B? Oh my God!” now she sounds fully awake.

“Don’t act surprised, I sent you a text yesterday and as

usual you didn’t reply, somethings will never change.”

“Bitch I didn’t see it! My goodness where are you? Are

you still in hospital? When did you wake up?”

Sigh.

“I woke up yesterday and I’m home now.”

“Bulelwa I’m so happy! You know when I came to see

you, you looked like a dead person like you really scared
me I was even thinking of the things I was going to say at
your funeral.”

Wow…

“So you were actually planning my funeral in your head?”

“Yeah, if you saw yourself on that bed you would have

planned your funeral as well. I’m so happy you woke up!
I need to come to Joburg so we can hit the club and
celebrate.”

Again, somethings will never change.

“We can’t go to the club Sli.”

“Why? Nearly death turned you into a Holy Samaritan?”

“No I’m on a wheelchair.”

She goes silent.

“Yeap! That’s exactly how I feel also.” I say.

“But…how?”

“You’re coming to Joburg right? I will tell you everything

when you get here.”

“Uhm..okay. I really sorry, I didn’t expect that.”

“It’s okay.” I’m really trying to appear as if I’ve accepted

this. “How’s Kuchi?”

“She’s sassy and she gives attitude I swear one of these

days I’m going to hit her with a bottle of wine on the
head and then hit her again for wasting my wine.”

I laugh.
“Don’t kill my child Sli. You should actually come with her
since it’s the school holidays.”

“Alright..I’ll see.”

We continue chatting until my phone ran out of battery.

Sli and I can talk for days. Even now she still doesn’t
admit that Loyiso is her man like I give up! Maybe Loys
should just put a ring on it once.

I’m just lying here looking at the picture of my beautiful

family on my bedside. I know we will go back to being
that happy family, I believe and I trust God will see us
through and very soon my husband will be sleeping next
to me again.

---

I’m woken from my dream by the alarm, it’s 3 am. I was

dreaming about a baby, a baby boy to be precise and it
wasn’t Junior. The baby needed some rescuing, I don’t
know from what but I was the only person who could
rescue him. He was screaming so loudly and the alarm
decided to go off just as I was about to reach him. It’s so
weird.

The sangoma told us we needed to be up by 3 am.

Last night Jason’s mom arrived with her witchcraft helper

and the sangoma from the village that will help us. Since
they arrived the sangoma said Jason should be locked up
in a room alone cause he might get dangerous when he
sees his mother.

The sangoma walks in my bedroom and she turns on the

lights.

“Oh you up, I thought I was going to find you sleeping.

We are going to use this room cause it also needs to be
cleansed.” She says shifting the couch to the side leaving
some space open and she also removes the fluffy mat.
She walks out and she comes back with a grass mat and
lays it on the floor. She walks out again and comes back
with all her tradition things that she will use and my
room immediately smells like some muti.

“Where’s the child?” she asks.

I’m assuming she means Quinn.

“She’s in her room.”

“She needs to wake up, she needs to be here as well.”

Okay how am I going to get out of this bed to wake her?

“Can you please help me get on the wheelchair?”

I feel like I’m a burden.

She helps me anyway and I wheel myself to Quinn’s
room. I open the door and I switch on the lights before
moving closer to her bed.

Look at her, she’s so cute.

“Baby..” I shake her.

She doesn’t respond.

“Quinn you have to get up.” I shake her harder.

“No mom it’s the holidays.” She turns around giving me

her back.

“I know but you have to get up, I promise I’ll let you sleep
the whole day when we’re done.”

“Done with what?” she turns to me again clearing the

sleep off her eyes.
“You remember before I went to hospital I told you your
father was going through some things? The people that
arrived here last night are going to help him and they
need you to be there as well cause you’re the only
person who can calm him down.”

“What do they expect me to do? I’m just a child.”

“They don’t expect you to do anything baby we just need

your presence.”

“After that dad will be okay?”

I nod. I hope so.

She finally gets off the bed and we go to my bedroom.

She immediately blocks her nose when we walk in, I was
tempted to block mine as well the smell is just awful and
there’s smoke all over the room like she was burning
something.
“This is the child? I want you to be strong okay? You’re
going to see somethings that might scare you but
nothing will happen to you, you shouldn’t run away
okay?” the sangoma says to her speaking in Zulu.

She just nods. I know she understands Zulu the problem

is speaking it.

“I’ll get the others so we can start.” She says before

walking out.

“Mom I’m scared this is freaky.” Quinn whispers to me.

“I know. Come sit on me.”

She sits on my lap and she wraps her arm around my

neck.
The sangoma walks back with Jason’s mom and the other
woman also dressed in a sangoma attire.

I don’t even want to look at Jason’s mother, I’m avoiding

her eye contact and she must dare try to speak to me.

The sangoma finally brings Jason in. As soon as he sees

his mom his face changes and the veins pop out. He
stretches out his arm like he’s ready to choke someone
and he turns to me, his eyes have turned grey. He sees
Quinn sitting on top of me and his body relaxes again and
his eyes go back to normal. My baby is shaking on top of
me and my heart is also beating out of my chest.

“Sit here.” The sangoma orders him to sit on the mat.

He looks confused but he sits anyway.

The sangoma starts calling on her ancestors and she does

those scary sounds like she’s possessed, it just starts
getting freaky in the room. The other woman takes
Jason’s hand and she starts commanding the beast to
come out, Jason’s face has turned into that scary
creature again and he’s roaring. I feel Quinn holding me
tighter and she starts crying.

“Mom I want to go out.” She says.

I’m also scared to shit right now but she can’t go out
cause Jason will attack me.

“It’s okay baby, don’t look.”

She buries her face on me holding me for dear life but my

life actually depends on her right now.

They also have a picture of Katlego on the floor.

This goes on for like an whole hour before Jason’s face

turns back to normal and he passes out.
The sangoma lifts her head and she’s sweating like
someone poured a bucket of water on her.

“It’s done.” She says breathlessly.

Does this mean my husband is freed?

“You’re strong, something like this usually takes 10

minutes.” She says looking at the other woman before
turning to me.

“Your husband is back. He’s strong to have conquered

this, another person would have died.”

She finally gets up and she burns something again and

she walks around the room now thanking her ancestors.

I find myself crying. Like I can’t believe this is all over and
I’m happy. I may be in a wheelchair but at least I’ll have
my husband back. My loving husband back.
The sangoma starts packing her things.

“He’ll wake up in the next 15 minutes with a blank

memory.” She says.

“Mma Oratile.” Jason’s mom says also getting up, she’s

also sweaty.

“Don’t talk to me and please leave my house, we’re done

here right?”

They clean up the room and I have to pay the sangoma

and the finally leave with Jason’s mother.

Quinn has gone back to her room and just sitting here
looking at my husband on the floor waiting for him to
wake up. They cleaned the room but it still stinks.
He coughs before opening his eyes. He sits up and he
looks around confusion conspicuously visible on his face.

“What am I doing on the floor? And God what’s that

smell?” he blocks his nose with his hand.

I just laugh at him.

“Baby did you fart? You need to clean your stomach

you’re killing us.”

Okay maybe they shouldn’t have healed him cause he’s

stupid.

“I did not fart Jase..You’re freed.”

“Freed? Freed from what?”

“From the beast that was living in you which caused you
to attack me. We just had the sagomas and your mom
here and they took the beast out, that’s what causes the
awful smell, it’s those tradition things they use.”

“Wait…Are you saying I’m no more a danger to you? We

can sleep in the same bed? We can have sex?”

Like really? You’re thinking about sex out of all things?

I nod.
“That’s the best news ever! Now we can focus on getting
you to walk again.”

But will I ever walk again? Or we’re just fooling ourselves.

I don’t want to get my hopes high for nothing. The soon I
accept that I’ll use a wheelchair for the rest of my life,
the sooner l’ll be happy again.

“It’s not certain that I’ll be able to walk again.”

He comes to me and he crouches to my level taking my
hands.

“You will walk again sthandwa sami. I’ll do whatever I can

to make sure you walk again, there’s nothing money
can’t buy.” He says and he pecks my lips.

“Well in all that you do, you can start by running me a

bath right now cause I need it.”

He smiles before kissing me again and he walks in the

bathroom. It’s good to see him smiling again. At least we
have one problem solved.

I take off my pajama top as I wait for him leaving my

chest bare.

“God I missed sucking on those delicious boobs, they all

up waiting for me.” He says as he walks out of the
bathroom.
“Jason please..” I roll my eyes.

He takes off my pajama bottom before scooping me up

in his arms and he puts me inside the bathtub.

“Move forward a bit.” He says.

“Why?”

“Cause I’m joining you, shifta B!”

Lol did he just call me B?

“Lock the door first.” I haven’t forgotten how he can get.

He could be joining me for a bath but we end up doing
other things.

He locks the door and he gets behind me. He puts his

legs on either side of me and I rest my back on him.
“Gosh you so skinny now, I need to feed you food with a
lot of calories. The kids should call you skinny daddy.”

“Are you teasing me?” He starts massaging my shoulders.

“I missed you.” I say scooping the foam with my hand

and I blow it.

“I missed you more baby, I missed us.” Kisses my cheek.

“You remember before I went to hospital you requested

that we try for baby number 4?”

“Yeah, are you pregnant?”

I turn my head to look at him. Do I look pregnant?

“What? It’s just a question.”

“I got pregnant by my doctor in hospital?” I rest on him
again.

“I’d shoot him.”

“Yeah and go to jail, see if I’d get you out again.”

“I know you would.”

“No babe. As I was saying since I got back from hospital

I’ve been thinking about having a baby as well but I don’t
want to give birth, I want to adopt. I want us to adopt a
baby.”

“What?” he stops massaging me.

“I feel like a baby would bring back light and love in this
family, do you remember how happy we were when we
had Junior?”
“I get that but adoption?”

“There’s nothing wrong with adoption Jase.”

“I want us to have our own child Bulelwa not someone

else’s child.”

“We’ll adopt a baby and they’ll be our child. You know it

would be complicated for me to carry a child since I’m on
a wheelchair, adoption is better.”

“Baby I can wait until you’re able to walk again then we

can have a child.”

It hasn’t even been an hour and he’s already frustrating

me.

“I want to adopt and that’s my final decision. If you don’t

want to be the father of my adopted child then fine I’ll be
a single parent.”
He laughs and I don’t know what’s amusing.

“So you’re going to adopt a child right now?”

“No, not now. Right now I want to focus on us and our

kids and getting our lives back to normal.”

“Starting with getting your husband back to normal

right?” he kisses my neck.

“Mhm.. “ I close my eyes.

“Let’s get out of here.” He whispers in my ear his deep

voice sounding sultry causing my clit to jitter.

He gets out of the bathtub and he takes me out as well

and he carries me to the bedroom. He lays me on the
bed and he just looks at my naked torso like he doesn’t
know where to start.
I bite my bottom lip and he attacks my lips. He kisses me
like he has never kissed me before until we’re both
breathing heavily.

He sucks my neck and he squeezes my boobs, I let out a

soft moan.

He tosses one of my nipples in his mouth whilst

squeezing my other making my cookie wet. I fill his hand
touching me, I didn’t feel him opening my legs. Even if he
touches them I don’t feel it.

I pushes his finger inside me.

“Ahh!” I moan out.

“Damn they’ve turned you into a virgin again?”

I’m just breathing heavily.

He goes between my useless legs and I feel him entering
me slowly.

“Mmh baby it hurts..”

He withdraws a bit.

“I’m sorry..” He says before pushing in again very slowly

and gently.

The pain is soon substituted by pleasure as he moves in

and out. He escalates the pace and I feel my body filling
up.

“Wait for me..” He says and he goes faster.

“Ahhh..” I scream and he groans as we both let go. My

body trembles with impeccable pleasure and I suddenly
feel something move on my legs.
“Jase…” I say breathlessly.

He’s also breathless lying on top of me. He lifts his head

to look at me.

“I just felt something move on my legs.”

He looks like he doesn’t believe me.

.....
(Unedited)
The pressure to finish this 😭 I'm even asking myself
what was I doing 😩