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FAMILY OF ORIGIN

 Simply put, your family of origin is who you grew up with.

 When you get married, you are creating your own new family.
 When you get married, you are also marrying into your spouse’s family.
 What kinds of marriages did you witness as you grew up?
 Do either of you have experience with divorce in your childhood/early adulthood?
 Whatever experiences you’ve had in regards to observing marriage throughout your lifetime, they
inevitably play a role in how you shape your marriage.
 Life is unpredictable, so issues and challenges within your family of origin will inevitably arise and
impact the day-to-day life of your new marriage.
 Illness, tragedy, divorce, and death (to name a few) within your family can all happen during the
course of your marriage — how will you handle those challenges?
 What difficult or serious experiences have you experienced already? Discussing these matters with
your spouse-to-be can be arduous, but necessary to further develop your companionship in the
midst of hard times.
 The four key pillars within marriage are: Communication, Romance & Intimacy, Money, and
Parenting.
 Your experience of these pillars as you grew up, whether direct involvement or indirect observation,
will certainly affect the way you build and form the pillars within your marriage.
 How did you celebrate holidays growing up? Will you carry over those traditions into your marriage?
 What boundaries will you establish when it comes to frequency of visiting family and gathering for
the holidays?
 What traditions regarding your faith and church attendance are important for you to also have as
you form your new family?

THEOLOGY AND SPIRITUALITY OF MARRIAGE GOD’S PLAN

 God has a plan for humanity, human sexuality, and marriage.
 Hopefully, both individuals have already developed their personal relationship with God — now it is
time to begin developing the family spirituality.
 When we love another human being, we are integrating the capacity that God gave us to love as
men and women.

Valid marriage in the Church

1. The spouses are free to marry (freedom to marry is established by the priest or deacon at the
beginning of the process)
2. They freely exchange their consent.
3. In consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another
and be open to children.
4. Their consent is giving in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church
minister. Exceptions to the last requirement must be approved by church authority.
Human sexuality has the two purposes

1. Uniting the couples in love (the unitive aspect of marriage).

2. Openness to life (the procreative aspect of marriage).

Spiritual fruitfulness: adoption, helping children, words of mercy (giving life to other people)

Name 3 things you learned in this first part of the course that you would like to share with your fiancé.

Theology and Spirituality of Marriage - Marriage as a Sacrament

 Marriage in the Catholic Church is a sacrament (a symbol that makes Christ present in our
midst).
 By living a sacramental life, especially within marriage, we connect to God through creation.
 Through marriage, a man and a woman give themselves to one another — to serve each other,
to serve the community, and also to serve God.

Balancing Values, Careers, and Practical Issues The Purpose of Marriage

 Have you ever thought of what the purpose of your marriage will be? Who do you hope to be,
and what do you hope to do as a married couple?
 Learning what that means, and being willing to discover more about yourself will be
empowering as you grow together in holy matrimony.
 We are excited to be a part of setting the foundation to help you balance all the possibilities,
opportunities, and priorities that are to come as you start your journey through life together.
 What do you believe the purpose of marriage is?
 The purpose of what you are entering into is to become one.
 There is a difference between the words oneness and one.
 What foundation are you going to build the basis of your marriage upon?

LOSE YOURSELF

 Losing yourself does not mean losing who you are, losing your identity, or losing your
personality.
 Losing yourself means to lose the self-centeredness of who you are.
 You lose your self-centeredness for the sake of growing your marriage.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

 Ask yourself, “What can I do to show my spouse that they are my priority?”
 When you make your spouse your priority, it allows you to show them that you love them in very
simple ways.
 Ask your spouse, “What am I doing well, and what can I be doing more to make you feel like you
are my priority?”
 Lift the marriage” means lifting the marriage to the place of priority that it deserves.
 Outside of your relationship with God, your marriage should be the most important relationship
in your life.
 Change the way you speak — take out of your vocabulary: me, my, and mine. Instead, say: we,
us, and our.
Balancing Values, Careers, and Practical Issues Your Family Mission Statement

 Once you establish the dreams, goals, and ambitions you have for your marriage, it’s time to put
it into practice by authoring your Family Mission Statement together.
 Why is that important? It helps to lay the foundation of being on the same page as your
marriage grows.
 A family mission statement helps you to establish boundaries with outside forces. A family
mission statement allows you to say, “yes” or “no,” eliminating the over abundance of “maybe.”

COMMUNICATIONI AND CONFLICT RESOLUTIONS

Relationships are all about communication. Happy, healthy marriages require frequent and honest
communication between husband and wife. This life skill is among the most important, requiring a
commitment to keep learning more effective ways to relate to one another.

 We are a Mental, Emotional, Sexual, and Spiritual Mess.

 As life happens, you will have conflict, but if you start developing healthy communication
skills right now, it will be easier for you and your spouse to resolve conflict.
 Understanding that we are all a M.E.S.S. allows us to easily extend grace toward each other.

THE BIG THREE

 The “big three” areas of conflict in almost every marriage are: Money, Sex, and Family.
 Whether you have money or don’t have money, you are going to have money issues.
 No matter who you are, you have different sexual desire levels.
 You are coming from two different families that have done things two different ways.
 Conflicting about all three of these things is inevitable and normal.
 In the video, Jay and Laura discuss the four phrases that each man needs to hear, and each
woman needs to hear. What are phrases that you need to hear from each other?
 Understanding what phrases each of you needs to hear from one another is an important aspect
to communication and edification within your marriage.

A sacrament is a symbol that makes Christ present in our midst.

What is your favorite place where you can observe God’s creation and connect with Him?

THE SEVEN SACRAMENTS

 BAPTISM
 THE EUCHARIST
 CONFIRMATION
 PENANCE AND RECONCILIATION
 ANOITING OF THE SICK
 HOLY ORDERS
 MATRIMONY

Sacraments of initiation: baptism, the Eucharist and Confirmation. they are the doors open to the life of
the Church
Sacraments to the service of communion: marriage and Holy orders

MARRIAGE AS SACRAMENT

 SERVING GOD
 SERVING ONE ANOTHER
 SERVING THE CHURCH

Theology and Spirituality of Marriage - Marriage as a Vocation

 Marriage in the Catholic Church is a a vocation (a divine calling).

 A vocation points us toward serving God.
 Cultivating a spirituality of marriage is important for a healthy and everlasting marriage.
 Praying together and for each other helps to develop the spirituality of marriage.

Theology and Spirituality of Marriage - Marriage as a Covenant

 Marriage in the Catholic Church is a covenant (an agreement between God and their marriage).
 The permanent and exclusive union between husband and wife mirrors the mutual commitment
between God and his people.
 God never breaks his promises, God never breaks his covenant. Therefore, in marriage, each
individual continually works toward never breaking promises, and never breaking the covenant.