Your Inner Child Can Heal Your Life - By Michelle Wolfe-Emery

When we view our problems or issues from an ordinary perspective we tell ourselves it's
either bad luck, to do with someone or something else, a part of life, or we blame ourselves.
In fact we are conditioned to see life as a random act of happenings, to blame others or our
circumstances or to put ourselves down when things are not going to plan. But what if
everything that happens to us is coming from us? What if everything that occurs good or bad
is ultimately our creation? What if a part of us is being controlled at a deeper level by our
subconscious? And inside our subconscious is a small child, the child we once were, who is
calling the shots?

It is becoming more and more clear to psychologists, therapists and healers that the inner
child has more of an influence over our lives than we were previously aware. This part,
although living in our subconscious mind, is a living conscious part. It is the child we once
were and it holds all our hurts, disappointments, traumas, anger, negative feelings and
sadness. We may not all have experienced trauma or extreme difficulties, but we have all
experienced upset and possibly hurt to a greater or lesser degree. Often these past pains are
reflected in our current life circumstances. That bout of depression, that anxiety, those panic
feelings, those critical thoughts, those issues with food, that fear of intimacy and so on. These
are all brought on by your inner child, because that part has not healed and it wants you to
know. It wants you to go back and give it a hug, it wants you to listen and help, it wants your
love. When upsetting or sad things happen to us as children we don't just forget about it. It
becomes suppressed within us, and at a later date will manifest as illness, bad days, the blues,
anger, fears, self sabotage or something else.

So think about something that affects your ability to be happy in the world, or something
which affects your inner peace. It may be a relationship issue, a physical problem or illness,
feelings of low self worth or confidence, it may be money worries, weight problems, an
eating disorder, an irrational fear or perhaps an internal block which you can't put your finger
on. All these problems are governed by the inner child at some level. Within each issue is a
message which your inner child longs for you to understand, a message which tells you
something about the past. Something in your childhood which happened then, but is still
holding you back, keeping you stuck, creating unhelpful patterns, bringing up painful
feelings, or maybe even making you feel numb. Even day to day occurances like the car
breaking down, being bitten by a dog, a bounced cheque, a crisis, rejection from a partner, an
accident are all governed by the inner child.

What is happening is you are pulling (at a subconscious level) these incidences and situations
to you. Nobody knows how this actually happens, we just know it miraculously does! And it
so happens we find ways to resolve it, because we are here to find happiness and to fulfil our
highest potential, not to suffer, struggle and never be at peace. There is a deeper reality
functioning at all times within and around us. This reality dictates that we have come to this
earth to find joy, and often it is our inner child who stands in our way. It does not mean to do
this, it just needs to heal past wounds or address detrimental beliefs which affected us as
children.

So to undo the conditioning or upsets from the past we have to connect with our inner child,
we then have to help heal this part which will in turn free us from all that seems to disable us.
Connecting with the inner child is a relatively easy exercise which you can do right in this
moment. All you need is twenty minutes where you won't be disturbed and to be comfortable.
Sitting in a cosy chair, or laying on a bed is fine. You may even choose to play some soft
mellow music to help you relax. Also if it is possible and you think it will help you may wish
to dig out an old photo of yourself as a child to look at before you begin the exercise.

So getting comfortable and undoing any tight clothing... take two deep
breaths, breathing right down into your abdomen. As you breath out feel
yourself beginning to relax. It is best to close your eyes, slightly opening
them every time you need to refer to what I am saying here (unless you
have a friend who can read this to you). Taking your time now, relax your
scalp and forehead... feel the tiny muscles letting go and becoming
smooth... relax your eyes, cheeks, mouth and jaw... let the muscles go...
unclench your jaw and relax your tongue... let your shoulders become
loose and limp, let any tension go, let it flow away... relax your chest and
let your breathing become slow and easy... relax all the way down your
back, your shoulder blades down to the base of your back... let any tension
in your tummy flow away... relax your hips, right down your legs, down
your calfs... feel your feet relaxing and your toes, like when you take off
tight shoes... and let your arms go limp and heavy... and your hands
letting go... allow your thoughts to become peaceful, breathing away
tension, problems and things on your mind... breathing them all away... let
your whole body become completely relaxed... feeling so peaceful... and
focus on your breath as you count slowly back from ten to zero in your
thoughts... good, now I want you to think about a place you remember as a
child, it may be your family home, school, a playground or something
else... just let that come into your mind, it doesn't matter if it isn't very
clear or if you just sense it... when you have something make it as clear as
you can... now imagine you see your child self coming toward you, you as
you were when you were a child... you may look different to what you had
expected or you may not... notice what you are wearing and your hair...
notice your expression, how do you look?... Perhaps you are holding
something... now imagine you, the adult you, are walking up to your child
self... tell the child who you are... tell them you have come to be their
friend... (at this point some of you may become emotional, especially if
your inner child was lonely or suffered in childhood)... if it feels ok offer to
hug the child (but don't do this if the child resists), or you could hold their
hand or let them sit on your lap... ask them if they have anything to say to
you and answer any questions, but always remain loving, supportive and
reassuring... now it is time to say goodbye to the child, do whatever feels
natural, give them a big hug or kiss or just wave goodbye... and return
back to the room you are sitting in.

Well done, you have just meet your inner child! Now this is just a very brief introduction, and
to fully heal your inner child takes time and possibly the revisiting of many childhood
memories where you would help the child to release trauma, pain or even something little
which felt big to you as a child at the time. This form of healing is hugely valuable and can
change your life in a instant. To learn more about inner child healing and how you can
resolve many problems yourself, please see my( Michelle Wolfe-Emery) book Keys To
Freedom: A Psycho-spiritual Approach to Inner Child Healing, available now.