Career Research Paper Draft 2

Revision for Content

Content | Strong (A) Competent (B) Developing (C) Emerging (D) Not Yet (F)
9-10.W.2b
Develop the topic Demonstrates Strengths Strengths and Need for Does not
utilizing credible control of the demonstrated need for revision demonstrate
sources with
criterion outweigh areas revision are outweighs the control of the
relevant, and
sufficient facts, where revision about equal strengths criterion yet
extended is needed present
definitions,
concrete details,
quotations, or other
information and
examples
appropriate to the
audience’s
knowledge of the
topic.

How would you score the following example paragraphs on the rubric above?

Example 1 Annotations

Considering agents and business managers are required to establish and maintain
interpersonal relationships, obtain and apply relevant knowledge, possess the ability to
write, perform speeches, and communicate with persons outside the direct organization,
it is reasonable to assume that they must possess a considerable amount of skills. Such
skills include eloquent speech, reading comprehension, superb negotiation and
persuasion tactics, as well as active listening (“Agents and Business Managers”). There
are boundless amounts of tasks that could possibly be assigned to an agent or business
manager by their clients. With this in mind, agents and business managers must have
many natural people skills, though some must be further developed through training
and school.

Career Research Paper Draft 2 - Revision for Content | Student Exemplars for Practice
Example 2 Annotations

The amount of skill that goes into being a Dentist is often overlooked. Dental
Hygienists have to have good speaking skills to help them communicate with patients,
dental assistants, and bosses. This is extremely important because patients need to be
informed on how they are doing with their dental hygiene, dental assistants need to be
ordered to complete tasks to help the day run smoothly, and bosses are always
important to communicate with, no matter what career you have. In addition, to be
successful in this profession, you must be detail oriented, and have the ability to work
well with your hands (“Dental Hygienists Career Video”). As a Dentist, a lot of time
will be spent not only examining tiny details in a patient's teeth, but also working with
dangerously small tools, informing patients how to brush and floss properly, and even
identifying microscopic cracks/chips in tooth x-rays. All of these tasks require full
focus and the ability to pay attention to small details. This explains the importance of
staying focused 100% of the time and being experienced with hands-on activities.

Example 3 Annotations

After the MCAT, medical school comes into play. While in Medical school, one is
suggested to study in Allopathic or Osteopathic Medical School and Receive an MD or
DO Degree. After being accepted, students spend the following four years finishing
medical school. Although medical schools may have various class formats, the
majority of institutions are set up so that the first two years of study are spent in
didactic courses. (Jubbal) These programs frequently include Anatomy, Physiology,
Renal medication, digestive health medication, thoracic cardiology, Urology,
Neurology, Ethics, hepatic and biliary medicine obstetrics, and gynecology
pharmacology. Students often transition to working in hospitals after two years of
didactics. Students will rotate among several specialties throughout this period, known
as clinical rotations, learning as they go (Torres). Clinical rotations are typically
completed by medical students in at least 12 months.

Career Research Paper Draft 2 - Revision for Content | Student Exemplars for Practice