Helping Skills

Facilitated By-

Jannatul Ferdous
Assistant Professor
Department of Psychology,
Jagannath University
 What is Helping?
Helping is a broad term which is more specific than the term
counseling and psychotherapy.

Helper = individual providing assistance

Client = individual receiving support

Helping can be defined as one person assisting another in

exploring feelings, gaining insight, and making changes in his
or her life.
The Three-Stage Model of Helping
 Alternate Paths to the Three-Stage
Model of Helping

Exploration Insight Exploration Insight

Action Exploration Action

Action Exploration Insight

Exploration
Stage
 Goals for the Exploration Stage

Establishing rapport and developing a trusting

relationship;
Attending, listening, and observing;
Helping clients to explore thoughts;
Facilitating the expression of emotion; and
Learning about clients.
 Skills for the Exploration Stage
Attending Behavior (The 3Vs+1B, SOLER, Silence);

Active Listening Skills (Encouraging, Restatement,

Paraphrasing, and Summarizing);

Observation Skills
 Attending Behavior
Attending Behavior concepts were first introduced by
Ivey, Millar, Hause, 1968.

It is the foundation skill of listening and essential for an

empathic relationship.

Attending refers to helpers orienting themselves

physically toward clients.
• Helper needs the following “three V’s + B” to
communicate that he or she is listening and attending to
the client:
a. Visual/eye contact
b. Vocal Qualities
c. Verbal Tracking: staying with client’s topic
d. Body Language
 Verbal Skills
a. Language: It is a entire system of receiving and expressing
information in a meaningful way.

a. Content: It may refers to topic area, problem area.

a. Amount of speech: too much or too little.

a. Ownership of speech:
➢ You message (e.g., You’re not listening to me properly),
➢ I message (e.g., I am experiencing not being heard correctly)
 Vocal Skills
a. Volume: loudness or softness; maintain a level of audibility that
is comfortable and easy to hear.

b. Articulation: clarity of speech

c. Pitch: height or depth of one’s voice (too high or too low)

d. Emphasis: too much (melodramatic), too little (wooden like)

e. Rate: speech rate is measured by words per minute; depends

not only on how quickly words are spoken, but also on the
frequency and duration of pauses between them.
 Body Language

➢ Gestures: physical movements that can

frame or illustrate words coming before,
during, or after what is being said. It may
illustrate shapes, sizes or movements,
particularly when these are difficult to
describe (e.g., eye contact, hand movement
etc. are gestural communication).
➢ Posture: turning one’s body towards the
client is more encouraging than turning
away from them.

➢ Grooming: personal grooming provides

information about how well people take care
of themselves (clean or dirty, neat or tidy).
Length and styling of hair sends messages
about what sort of person one is.
➢ Head Nods

➢ Facial Expression: Some common facial expressions

and possible meanings according to Nirenberg and
Calero (1971) are:
▪ A frown might indicate displeasure or confusion
▪ A raised eyebrow may suggest disbelief, doubt
or questioning.
▪ An eye wink might indicate intimacy etc.
 Body Language (Cont.)

➢ Physical closeness: The zone of physical closeness vary

according to the nature of relationship.
✓ Intimate zone (between 6 to 18 inches): it is easy
to touch and be touched. This zone is reserved for
spouses, lovers, close friends, relatives.
✓ Personal zone (between 18 to 48 inches):
appropriate for less close friends, and parties or
other social gatherings.
✓ Social zone (between 4 and 12 feet): it is
comfortable for people not known at all well.
✓ Public zone (over 12 feet): it is the distance for
addressing public gatherings.
 SOLER (Egan, 1990)
S = Face the client squarely
O = Maintain an open posture
L = Lean forward
E = Eye contact
R = Relax
Other skills for Attending Behavior

• Selective Attention
• Redirect Attention
• Silence or Pause
• Talk Time
Unhelpful Attending Behavior

• Interruptions
• Note-taking
• Touch
 Hearing
• Simply the act of perceiving sound

• It is involuntary
• A selective activity that involves the reception and
the interpretation of auditory stimuli.

• It bridges the gap between hearing and

understanding.
 Listening

Active Passive
Listening Listening
 Passive Listening
• Little more than hearing.

• Receiver of the message has little

motivation to listen carefully

• Sometimes we engage in passive listening

for entertainment, escape, or just for fun.

• Example: listening to music, story telling,

television programs etc.
• Involves listening with a purpose.
• The purpose for listening may be-
✓to gain information,
✓to obtain directions,
✓to determine how another person feels,
✓to acquire knowledge,
✓to solve problems,
✓to share interests,
✓to show support for others.
In a session, active listening demands that counselor
participate fully by helping the client to clarify, enlarge,
and enrich the story.

It requires that counselor will be able to hear small

changes in thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of the client.

It demands truly being with and understanding the client

as fully as possible.
 Micro Skills for Active Listening

Encouraging
(Encourager+ Paraphrasing Summarizing
Restatement)
 Encouraging
• Refers to give short responses that help
clients keep talking.

• It can be verbal or nonverbal encourager and

verbal restatements.
 Encourager
It is used both verbally and nonverbally to prompt
clients to continue talking.

Nonverbal: Head nods, gestures, positive facial

expressions, appropriate smiling, silence etc.

Verbal: uh-huh, umm, simple repetition of key

words the client has uttered etc.
 Restatements

• Extended encouragers

• Repetition of two or more words exactly as used

by the client.
Advantages:
– Clients elaborate on the topic, especially when encouragers and
restatements are used in a questioning tone of voice.

– If use by the counselor appropriately, clients will not-

▪ Slow down and stop talking
▪ May not gradually begin a new topic
▪ May not feel rejected and not think that counselor is not
listening.
Limitations:
– All types of encouragers facilitate client to talk unless they are
overused.
– Excessive head nodding and too much parroting can be
annoying and frustrating to the client.
– Using too many encouragers can seem wooden and
unexpressive.
– Too few encouraging may suggest to clients that counselor is
not interested.
 Example of Encouraging….
Client: We had a family picnic. But it was a big disappointment. I
work hard for making all the arrangements for the trip. My sister
instead of appreciating my effort, complained constantly. I will not
be doing anything like this in future.

Counselor:
“Picnic?”, “Disappointment!”, “Complain?”- (Encouragers)
“Your sister complained”, “You work hard”- (Restatement)
 Paraphrasing
Reflection of content

It refers to shorten, clarify the essence of what has just

been said by the client through using some of counselor’s
own words plus the exact main words of the client.

Accurate paraphrasing can help clients to complete their

speech.
 Paraphrasing (Cont.)
• Paraphrasing consists of 4 dimensions:
a. Sentence Stem:
It sounds like….
Lina, I hear you saying….
*A stem is not always necessary, because if it is
overused, it will be like parroting!
b. Key Word: Counselor use the key words, spoken by
the client, to describe the situation or person in
client’s own word.
 Paraphrasing (Cont.)
c. Essence of what the client has said in briefer and clear form:
Counselors task is keeping true to the client’s idea, but not
repeating them exactly.

d. Checkout for accuracy: Checkout is a brief question at the

end of the paraphrase, asking the client for feedback on
whether the paraphrase or summary was relatively correct
and useful.
Am I hearing you correctly?
Have I got it right?
 Paraphrasing (Cont.)
Advantage:
– Clients will feel heard
– Will give more detail without repeating the same story.
– If paraphrase is incorrect, client has the opportunity to
correct the counselor.
Limitations:
– If in paraphrasing, stem is overused, it will be like
parroting! Clients may become frustrated and may say,
“That’s what I just said; why do you ask?”
 Summarizing
• Counselor summarize client’s comments and integrate
thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.

• It is used to clarify what the client has said over a longer

time span.

• Counselor focuses on finding out strengths and resources

that support the client while summarizing.
 Summarizing (Cont.)
• Counselor Summarizes:
– When client’s comments are lengthy, incoherent, or
confused
– When a client presents a number of unrelated ideas
– To add direction to a session
– To move from one phase of a session to next
– To conclude a session
– To clarify complex issues
– To provide an introduction to session by reviewing the
previous session (To begin a session)
 Observation Skills
• Focus on three areas:
–Nonverbal Behavior
–Verbal Behavior
–Discrepancies
 Nonverbal Behavior
A. Body Language in General:
i. Gesture
ii. Posture
iii. Facial Expression
iv. Self inflicting Behavior
• Does he bite his nails?
• Does he scratch his legs or arms?
v. Repetitive Behavior
• Does the client tap his feet or drum his fingers?
• Are his knees steady?
• Does he twirl his hair while talking?
• Does he have the habit of doodling?
 Nonverbal Behavior (Cont.)
B. Body Language in Particular:
i. Head
• Does the head droop down?
• Is it kept straight and steady?
• Does he nod in recognition and agreement? Or
shake his head in disapproval?
ii. Eyes
• Are they wide open, or drooping?
• Are they seem sad, tearful, sparkling or smiling?
• Are they shift from one object to another?
• Are they avoid direct eye contact?
 Nonverbal Behavior (Cont.)
B. Body Language in Particular (Cont.)
iii. Hands
• Are they actively engaged most of the time, or
quite still?
• Does the client attempt to hide them, or keep
them still, but locking fingers?
iv. Arms and Legs
• Are they open or crossed, as if it protect him?
• Are they active or still?
v. Skin
• Is the client pale, flushed. Or perspiring?
 Nonverbal but vocal Communication
• Tone of Voice:
– Is it dull or monotonous?
• Rate of speech:
– Does the client speak rapidly/slowly/unusually?
• Loudness of voice:
– Does the client speak loudly?
– Does the decibel level fluctuate according to the
content?
• Diction:
– Is the client comfortable enough in the language of the
session?
– Is the client clear & precise in what he/she wants to say?
 Other Nonverbal Messages

• Regarding Time:
– Does the client consistently come late for sessions?
– Is she early or always on time?

• Regarding the Client’s Appearance:

– How is he dressed and groomed?
– Does he appear to be neat, casual, or careless?
 Skills for Exploring Thoughts

• Active Listening Skills (restatement, paraphrasing, summarizing)

• Open questions about thoughts
– Tell me about the last time you thought X
– Tell me more about X
– What do you think about that?
– What do you mean by that?
– What does X mean?
– Can you give me an example of that?
– What comes to mind when you think about X?
 Techniques of Reflecting Feelings
➢ Sentence Stem:
▪ Perhaps you’re feeling……..
▪ Perhaps you feel…….
▪ I hear you are feeling……
▪ I sense you’re feeling……
▪ Sounds like you feel……
➢ Feeling label:
▪ Perhaps you’re feeling upset.
▪ Sounds like you feel anxious.
▪ (annoyed, concerned, grateful, angry, worried, cheerful,
hurt, glad, loving etc.)
 Techniques of Reflecting Feelings (Cont.)

➢ Context or brief Paraphrase:

▪ Sounds like you are feeling both glad and sad as you’re
going to home.
➢ Immediacy:
▪ You’re feeling upset right now.
➢ Checkout:
▪ Sounds like you are feeling both glad and sad as you’re
going to home. Am I right?
 Disclosure of Feelings
• A disclosure of feelings is statement about a feeling that the helper
had a similar situation as the client.
• It can be-
– Real (When I was in that situation , I felt stressed)
– Hypothetical (If I were in your situation, I might feel
stressed)
– How the helper feels hearing the client talk (Hearing
you talk about that makes me feel stressed.)
• Help clients to feel more normal because they learn other people
have similar feelings.
 Open questions about feelings

What was that like for you? Tell me about

that experience.
 Difficulties in Implementing the
Exploration Stage

• Inadequate attending and listening

• Asking too many closed questions
• Talking too much
• Not allowing silence
• Urge to disclose
• Giving too much advice
 Reference

➢ Gladding, S. T. (2013). Counseling A Comprehensive

Profession (7th Ed.). NJ: Pearson

➢ Hill, C. E. (2009). Helping Skills: Facilitating Exploration,

Insight, and Action (3rd Ed.). APA.