Coach’s Overview

DEVELOP CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS

GOALS OF THE EXERCISE

1. Reduce social anxiety and excessive shrinking away from others.

2. Develop conversational skills that will help to improve the quality of peer
relationships.
3. Increase frequency of social interactions with same-aged peers or acquaintances.
4. Begin to take steps toward building peer friendships.

ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL

• Anxiety
• Depression
• Low Self-Esteem

SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE STUDENT

This exercise is designed to improve the conversational skills of the shy or socially anx-
ious student. It is recommended that the assignment be given during the middle stages of
session, after the coach has had an opportunity to establish rapport with the student and
teach him/her basic social skills. The student is asked to initiate and sustain at least one
conversation per day with another unfamiliar peer or acquaintance (close or regular
friends are excluded from this assignment). The students is required to verbalize at least
five statements during the course of the conversation. (Note: The actual number of
statements constituting a conversation can be modified depending upon the student.) If
the student attempts to initiate a conversation with a peer, but is not successful, then
he/she is expected to continue to try until he/she is successful. The student may very well
need to be coached in the classroom session on how to initiate and sustain a conversation.
The student may also find it helpful to brainstorm a list of topics that he/she can talk
about with another individual. The student is expected to complete a daily conversation
log about his/her interactions. The conversation log will help keep the student
accountable to the treatment goals.
 EXERCISE

DEVELOP CONVERSATIONAL SKILLS

This exercise is designed to improve your conversational skills. By practicing the skills
involved in holding a conversation, you will feel more comfortable and relaxed over
time. In this assignment, you will be asked to initiate and hold a conversation with at least
one peer or acquaintance each day (close or regular friends are excluded from this as-
signment). You must make at least five complete statements or thoughts for the interac-
tion to be considered a conversation.
Before initiating the conversation, it may be helpful to choose a specific person with
whom you would like to talk to. Next, brainstorm a list of topics that you could possibly
talk about with this person.

Conversational Topics
1. 6.
2. 7.
3. 8.
4. 9.
5. 10.

After brainstorming, select a topic you think the other person would be interested in
talking about. However, be open to the possibility that the other person may want to talk
about some other topic. Remember to maintain good eye contact when communicating.
Greet the person with a smile and an expression such as “hello,” “it’s good to see you,”
“How are you today?” that have been practiced in the classroom sessions. Actively listen
to what the other person is saying because this will show them that you are genuinely
interested in what they have to say. Don’t be afraid to ask questions and look for
opportunities to share similar experiences. Try to end the conversation on a positive note
by making a remark like, “Have a good day.”
Use the Conversation Log on the next page to record the names of the individuals
whom you’ve conversed with between classroom sessions. Answer the questions and
bring the log to the next classroom session for review. Please feel free to make any
additional comments about your conversations that can also be discussed in sessions.
 EXERCISE

CONVERSATION LOG

Date: Name of person talked to:

Place of conversation:

1. What were the topic(s) of conversation?

2. Describe how you felt overall during the conversation with the other person (e.g.,
nervous, tense, embarrassed, happy, content):

3. If the conversation went well, what factor(s) helped you feel comfortable or relaxed?

4. If you felt nervous, tense, or uncomfortable, what factor(s) contributed to your

discomfort?

5. Explain your reasons why you would or would not like to talk to or socialize with this
person in the future:

6. Additional comments about the conversation: