Problem Solution Paragraph Writing Test

Klapiychuk Anastasia

Group 142

Total score:80/100

I would like you to grade the problem solution text, consisting of two paragraphs. The problem
solution text is assigned a rating from 0 to 100 with 100 being the highest and 0 the lowest.

Score the written text on the following rubric:

Paragraph 1

Topic sentence maximum 10

Paragraph Development/Paragraph body maximum 20

Concluding Sentence maximum 10

Mechanics including grammar, lexical choice maximum 10

Paragraph 2

Topic sentence maximum 10

Paragraph Development/Paragraph body maximum 20

Concluding Sentence maximum 10

Mechanics including grammar, lexical choice maximum 10

Provide the total score

Provide specific suggestions on how to edit the paragraph to make it better for each rubric
category.

Give specific examples on how to improve the paragraph to make it better.

Provide sentences and words that would make the paragraph better structured.

Tell me how likely it is that an upper intermediate learner of English as a foreign language wrote
this text using the scale from 0 to 100 with 0 representing “absolutely unlikely” and 100
“absolutely likely.”

Obesity is a disorder that is caused by collecting of fat tissues in our body. Many factors can
lead to this problem. For example:regular overeating, inactive lifestyle and health diseases.
Unfortunately, modern technologies and focus on convenience makes this problem thrive.
People became too lazy to walk and order a taxi or use other transport as well. Fast food
became more affordable than regular food so people of low budget consume it on a daily basis.
These meals are low in nutrition and high in fats and calories. Moreover, constant consuming of
this kind of food can be the reason of vitamin deficit, which impacts immune system and
general health.

One decision of this problem is changing a regular diet. Vegetables are high in fibers and fruits
are high in vitamins. Overall well-being is increased and people feel positive and energetic. An
important part of this solution is to be aware of what your body wants and understand when you
are hungry or not. Rich in nutrient food keeps us full for a long time what allows people to have
only 3 daily meals. By promoting this habit in your routine you will be in your best form by
staying fit and healthy

Paragraph 1:

Topic sentence: 7/10

The topic sentence introduces the issue of obesity but could be more specific in outlining the
main points to be discussed.

Example improvement: "Obesity, a prevalent health concern, arises from the accumulation of
excess fat in the body due to various factors."

Paragraph Development: 15/20

The paragraph adequately discusses factors contributing to obesity but lacks depth and
coherence in connecting these factors.

Paragraph Development: 15/20

The paragraph adequately discusses factors contributing to obesity but lacks depth and
coherence in connecting these factors.

Example improvement: Develop each factor (overeating, sedentary lifestyle, technological

advancements) with examples and explanations to enhance clarity and coherence.

Concluding Sentence: 6/10

The concluding sentence restates the problem but could offer a hint at potential solutions or
further discussion.

Example improvement: "Addressing these factors requires proactive measures and lifestyle
changes to combat the growing prevalence of obesity in society."

Mechanics: 8/10

The paragraph contains minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

Example improvement: Replace "focus on convenience makes this problem thrive" with
"emphasis on convenience exacerbates this issue."

Paragraph 2:

Topic sentence: 8/10

The topic sentence presents a solution to the problem of obesity but could be more specific in
outlining the approach.

Example improvement: "One effective solution to combat obesity involves making dietary
changes and adopting healthier eating habits."

Paragraph Development: 18/20

The paragraph effectively discusses the benefits of consuming nutrient-rich foods and
emphasizes the importance of mindful eating. However, it could provide more concrete
examples or evidence to support these claims.

Example improvement: Include specific examples of nutrient-rich foods and their benefits, such
as leafy greens, lean proteins, and whole grains.

Concluding Sentence: 7/10

The concluding sentence summarizes the benefits of adopting a healthier diet but could
reinforce the importance of sustained commitment to this lifestyle change.

Example improvement: "By incorporating nutrient-rich foods into your daily meals and listening
to your body's hunger cues, you can achieve long-term improvements in your health and well-
being."
Mechanics: 9/10

The paragraph demonstrates relatively good grammar and lexical choice, with minor room for
improvement.

Example improvement: Replace "keeps us full for a long time what allows people" with "keeps
us satiated for longer periods, enabling individuals."

Total score: 80/100

Likelihood of being written by an upper intermediate learner of English as a foreign language:

79/100