• Three facets or dimensions of

Attraction and loneliness

Close Relationships
➢ Social Anxiety Disorder
-characterized by intense feelings of discomfort in
situations that invite public scrutiny.
Example:
• Stage fright – a performer’s worst
nightmare. If you’ve ever had to make a
presentation only to feel weak in the knees
and hear your voice quiver.
• Intimate loneliness is felt when someone
wants but does not have a spouse,
significant other, or best friends to rely on
for emotional support, especially during
personal crises.
• Relational loneliness is felt when someone
wants but lacks friendships from school and
work and family connections, the 15 or 50
people whom we see regularly.
• Collective loneliness comes from remote
relationships and the social identities we
derive from.

➢ Hikikomori
➢ Need for Affiliation -translates to “pulling away” in English
-defined as a desire to establish social contact with -A form of severe social withdrawal, has been
others. frequently described in Japan and is characterized
by adolescents and young adults.
-is characterized by a full withdrawal from intimate
➢ Loneliness relationships outside of the family.
-is a sad and heart-wrenching emotional state.

➢ Affiliation
-is a necessary first step in the formation of a social
relationship.

➢ The Proximity Effect

-single best predictor of whether two people will get
together is—or used to be—physical proximity or
nearness.
 ➢ The Mere Exposure Effect
-by Robert Zajonc
-the more often people saw a novel stimulus—
whether it was a foreign word, a geometric form, or
a human face—the more they came to like it.
➢ Another burden of physical attractiveness as
a social asset is the pressure to maintain
one’s appearance. Among young women in
particular, an obsession with thinness can
give rise to serious eating disorders:
• bulimia nervosa - food binges
followed by purging
• anorexia nervosa - self-imposed
starvation, which can prove fatal
➢ Matching Hypothesis
-the idea that people tend to become involved
romantically with others who are equivalent in
their physical attractiveness.
➢ Complementarity Hypothesis
-holds that people seek others whose needs
“oppose” their own—that people who need to
dominate.
➢ Reciprocity
-a mutual exchange between what we give and
what we receive.
➢ Hard-to-get Effect
-we like others who are socially selective.
➢ The Evolution of Desire
-by David Buss
-human beings all over the world exhibit mate-
selection patterns that favor the conception, birth,
and survival of their offspring—and women and
men, by necessity, employ different strategies to
achieve that common goal.
➢ Conspicuous Consumption
-If women are drawn to men who have wealth or
the ability to obtain it, then it stands to reason that
men would flaunt their resources the way the male
peacock displays his brilliantly colored tail.
➢ Expressions of Love
-Saying “I love you” is a bold step for people
seeking a mate because the words signal a marked
shift in satisfaction and has implications for
devotion, sacrifice, and commitment.
➢ Jealousy
-“the dangerous passion”—a negative emotional
state that arises from a perceived threat to one’s
relationship.
• Sexual Infidelity - extramarital affair
engaging in sexual intercourse with
someone other than one's partner.
• Emotional Infidelity - falls in love with
another person. one partner shares
emotional intimacy and connection with
someone other than their partner.
• comparison level (CL) to refer to this
average expected outcome in relationships.
• comparison level for alternatives
(CLalt) refer to people’s expectations
about what they would receive in an
alternative situation.

➢ Intimate relationships often involve

➢ Investment
three basic components: -something a person puts into a relationship that
• feelings of attachment, affection, and he or she cannot recover if the relationship ends.
love
• fulfillment of psychological needs
• interdependence between partners

➢ Bernard Murstein’s stimulus value–

role (SVR) theory says there are
three:
• the stimulus stage, in which
attraction is sparked by
external attributes such as
physical appearance
• the value stage, where ➢ Equity Theory
attachment is based on -provides a special version of how social exchange
similarity of values and beliefs operates in interpersonal interactions.
• the role stage, where -According to this theory, an equitable relationship
commitment is based on the is a matter of social justice
enactment of such roles as
husband and wife.

➢ Social Exchange Theory

-an economic model of human behavior
according to which people are motivated by a
desire to maximize profit and minimize loss in
their social relationships just as they are in
business
Types of Relationships ➢ Triangular Theory of Love
-by Robert Sternberg
➢ Exchange relationships
three components:
-characterized by an immediate tit-for-tat
repayment of benefits. • Intimacy. The emotional component, which
involves liking and feelings of closeness. (“I
-exist between strangers and casual acquaintances
have a comfortable relationship with ___.”)
- feeling free to talk about anything,
supportive, understanding
➢ Communal relationships
-partners respond to each other’s needs and well- • Passion: The motivational component,
being over time and in different ways, without which contains drives that trigger
regard for whether they have given or received a attraction, romance, and sexual desire.
benefit. (“Just seeing ___ is exciting for me.”)
- gazing at the other, euphoria, butterflies in
-usually limited to close friends, romantic partners, the stomach
and family members.
• Commitment: The cognitive component,
which reflects the decision to make a long-
term commitment to a loved partner. (“I
➢ sociologist John Alan Lee (1988) identified will always feel a strong responsibility for
three primary love styles: ___.”)
• eros (erotic love) - devotion, putting the other first, long-
• ludus (game-playing, uncommitted lasting
love)
• storge (friendship love)

➢ Passionate Love
➢ Lee theorized; these three styles can be
blended together to form new secondary - an emotionally intense and often erotic state of
types of love: absorption in another person
• mania (demanding and possessive
love)
• pragma (pragmatic love) ➢ Companionate Love
• agape (other-oriented, altruistic
love) - a slow-building, secure, trusting, and stable
partnership.
 ➢ Excitation Transfer
-arousal–love connection is obvious, as when a
person feels a surge of sexual desire at the sight of
a romantic partner.
- arousal triggered by one stimulus can be
transferred or added to the arousal from a second
stimulus.
➢ Self-disclosure
- willingness to open up and share intimate facts
and feelings.
➢ Social Penetration Theory
- holds that relationships progress from superficial
exchanges to more intimate ones.
➢ Sexual Orientation
- defined as one’s sexual preference for members
of the same sex (homosexuality), the opposite sex
(heterosexuality), or both sexes (bisexuality).
➢ Negative Affect Reciprocity
- reciprocity—a tit-for-tat exchange of expressions
of negative feelings.
➢ 8 Types of Love
• Nonlove
-The first type of love that Sternberg
introduces is nonlove, which is when none
of the three components of love are
present in a relationship
• Liking (also called friendship)
- The second type of love that Sternberg
introduces is liking, which is when the
intimacy component of love is present in a
relationship, but the passion and
decision/commitment components are not
• Infatuation
- The third type of love that Sternberg
introduces is infatuated love, which is when
the passion component of love is present in
a relationship, but the intimacy and
decision/commitment components are not
• Empty Love
- The fourth type of love that Sternberg
introduces is empty love, which is when the
decision/commitment component of love is
present in a relationship, but the intimacy
and passion components are not
• Romantic Love
- The fifth type of love that Sternberg
introduces is romantic love, which is when
the intimacy and passion components of
love are present in a relationship, but the
decision/commitment component is not
• Companionate Love
- The sixth type of love that Sternberg
introduces is companionate love when the
intimacy and decision/commitment
components of love are present in a
relationship, but the passion component is
not

• Fatuous Love
- The seventh type of love that Sternberg
introduces is fatuous love, which is when
the passion and decision/commitment
components of love are present in a
relationship, but the intimacy component is
not

• Consummate Love
- Finally, the eighth type of love that
Sternberg introduces is consummate love,
which is when all three components of love
are present in a relationship