Copyright © 2023, by Pratibha A. Dabholkar, Ph.D.

,
with the U.S. Copyright Office

All rights reserved. (The unauthorized distribution, sale,

copying, editing, or any form of reproduction or modification
of any part of this copyrighted book is illegal.)
 To Julie, my beloved Angel
Your ongoing communications of eternal love
fill us with joy, gratitude, and peace
 Table of Contents

Acknowledgements
Preface

Section I: Our Beloved Daughter, Julie

Chapter 1: What Julie Was Like
Chapter 2: Julie’s Illness and Her Courageous Forbearance
Chapter 3: Julie’s Transition, Our Grief, and Starting to Heal

Section II: Guardian Angels and Early Signs from Julie

Chapter 4: My Father as Our Guardian Angel
Chapter 5: Early Spirit Communications from Julie
Chapter 6: My Spiritual Journey
Chapter 7: Guardian Angels

Section III: Julie’s Ongoing Spirit Communications

Chapter 8: Telepathic Messages to Help
Chapter 9: Spirit Visitations
Chapter 10: Dream Visitations
Chapter 11: Angelic Contacts through Objects
Chapter 12: On the Wings of Love
Chapter 13: Butterfly Kisses to Dolphin Magic
Chapter 14: From Roses to Rainbows
Chapter 15: Unusual Spirit Communications

Section IV: My Reflections on Spirit Communications

Chapter 16: Spirit Communications Are Real
Chapter 17: How Spirit Communications Enlighten Us
Chapter 18: Being Open to Spirit Communications

Annotated Bibliography
About the Author
 i

Acknowledgements

I am truly grateful to everyone, friends as well as

students, who shared personal stories of communications
from departed loved ones. Given the extreme sensitivity of
the subject, I thank these people here without naming them
individually. All the experiences touched and intrigued me
and I very much appreciated the open-hearted sharing of
such precious experiences.

In particular, I acknowledge my beloved mother, Vasanti

Dabholkar. She dearly loved her granddaughter and did all
she could to help Julie and us during Julie’s illness. Her
support, especially during Julie’s final days here, was
invaluable, and she was an integral part of our grieving and
healing process afterwards. She even witnessed some of
Julie’s early spirit communications along with us. And after
her return home, she experienced more messages from Julie
and accepted them with love and understanding. I greatly
appreciate my mother’s love for Julie, her open-mindedness
to ideas foreign to her thinking, and her loving support of my
writing this book.

Most importantly, I acknowledge the encouragement and

love from my husband, Dr. Earl J. Hess, Julie’s step-father.
As an ongoing recipient of Julie’s spirit communications
himself, as well as a respected and prolific scholar, he
wholeheartedly supported my writing this book to enlighten
others and shared in my joy as I worked on creating it. Going
back even further, I am immensely grateful to Earl for
 ii

coming into Julie’s and my lives many years ago, for opening
our minds to ideas about the spirit dimension and guardian
angels, for loving me and Julie with his whole heart, for
supporting me through all the heartaches of Julie’s illness
and her untimely passing, for helping me heal and grow,
and for being a loving and joyful partner in receiving and
celebrating Julie's precious messages of love, magically given
to us across dimensions.
 iii

Preface

Ever since I became a mother, I thought it would be

impossible for me to live for a single day if “something
terrible” happened to my beloved daughter, Julie. That’s how
I worded it; I could not even allow the word “death” in my
mind when I thought about my child. Modern society is
programmed to think of death as something “awful”—as an
end, a void, a disruption of love and communications, and I
was very much a product of this society. But Julie has shown
us that “death” is not an end, but simply a transition. For
those left behind, the death of a loved one can entail a
continuation of deeply loving contacts from the spirit
dimension that are awe-inspiring, awesome, and “full of
awe” as in the original sense of the word “awful.”

When Julie was suddenly diagnosed with an acute and

vicious form of leukemia, shortly before she would graduate
with honors from the University of Georgia, we were
stunned but propelled into action to help her fight this
dreadful disease. Julie herself was incredibly brave through
all her horrendous suffering and pain. She fought valiantly
for a year and was confident she would make it. So were we.

But each time she beat the disease, it came back in a more
virulent form until my beloved child could not fight it any
more. We prayed desperately and hoped for a miraculous
reprieve, but were eventually forced to accept the reality.
We said goodbye with aching hearts and Julie promised to be
 iv

our little angel, always watching over us. Little did we know
then what exactly this would entail.

We did have some experience with a loving, guardian

angel. My own father, Umakant Dabholkar, who died when
I was a child, had always protected us in emergencies and
accidents. But we did not know this for many years and
happily assumed we were just lucky. Earl realized that it had
to be my father’s spirit watching over us. Julie and I were
excited and happy to comprehend this idea of guardian
angels, and I was exceedingly grateful to my father for
watching over us these many years.

But even before this realization, in fact, ever since Earl

came into our lives, the three of us had begun to discuss
ideas about soul mates and soul purpose (the reason for
being on earth). Julie and I were particularly intrigued by
the concept of multiple soul mates (including your spouse,
parents, and children) rather than the traditional view of a
soul mate being only a spouse or lover. We were grateful to
Earl for opening our minds to these thoughts. The three of
us heartily agreed that it made perfect sense that we were
eternally connected at the soul level.

In an understanding of the spirit world based on mystical

and other spiritual experiences, soul mates plan their roles
in their earth lives as a group. Souls incarnate on earth by
choice, in order to learn important lessons for their spiritual
growth. Before coming to earth, they figure out who will be
the children, who will be the parents, how the parents will
 v

meet, and how they will all help each other achieve their
planned goals. (Dabholkar, Departed Loved Ones Are
Guardian Angels, 13; Dabholkar, Life Review: God’s Perfect
Plan, 20.) Earl, Julie, and I agreed that the complexities of
such planning (across generations) were beyond our limited
human ability; but we knew our souls were capable of such
intricate thinking in the spirit dimension (or heaven) where
they would be at a much higher level of consciousness (that
is, knowledge, understanding, and abilities).

Obviously many extraneous factors could interfere with

these plans. Partners-to-be might not meet at all, or not meet
early enough to marry and raise a family, and then the
“child-to-be” soul would have to decide what to do. Julie
particularly liked the idea that she and I were “soul mates
forever” as she put it, and that she was the one who had
chosen to come to me in this life. She even gave me a
birthday card which said something traditionally cute like,
“If I could have chosen my mother, I would have picked you,
Mom!” and then added her own changes to the card, saying,
“I could choose, and I did pick you!”

But despite these wonderful discussions and lively

interchanges, our comprehension of the soul dimension was
very limited. We still feared death because it implied a break
in connections and communications. Like most people, we
assumed we would have to wait a long time to be in touch,
until all of our deaths brought us together again. We also
thought of the spirit realm as a faraway place from where
 vi

our guardian angels watched over us, and swooped “down”

to rescue us when we were in trouble.

So, at that very sad time in our lives when we could

barely comprehend that our beloved child would no longer
be able to fight the cancer, and Julie so bravely promised to
be our guardian angel, Earl and I thought that just as my
father did, she too would protect and save us when we
got into bad situations. We were exceedingly grateful, but
thought it implied only occasional interactions with her
over our lifetime. I could not bear the thought of living this
life without her and yet I knew deep inside that it was not
my time yet, although that seemed terribly difficult to accept.

How could I go on living without hugging and kissing my

beloved daughter? We would never see her beautiful smile
light up a room and never hear her happy, excited narration
of everyday events. We would miss her brilliant letters, her
loving cards, her artistic drawings and paintings, her golden
voice singing softly. We would no longer cook for her, go on
walks together, see movies and plays with her, share and
interpret dreams, or discuss soul life and purpose together.
It was all so inconceivable.

After Julie’s untimely passing, we decided to take one day

at a time. Earl was a pillar of strength to me as we worked
through our healing process. We talked endlessly about life
and death, and about the soul dimension, and I read many
books on these subjects. Earl and I “talked” to Julie, and
I wrote in a journal to her every single day. We did this as
 vii

a way of healing and also to communicate with her—we

hoped she was listening.

To our amazement and immeasurable gratitude, Julie’s

spirit has been a part of our lives ever since her transition
into the soul world, even though it took us a while to realize
this. She communicates with us in so many magical ways
that we are filled with peace and joy.

This is not to say that we stopped grieving immediately.

Grieving is an important part of healing and we went
through that process as do other bereaved people. I also
cannot claim that we are never sad. Along with the joy,
sadness will always be a part of our lives as well. The
difference is that Julie’s continuing communications assure
us not only that our love is eternal but that she will always
be with us. We don’t need to “wait until we’re together
again.” Her reaching out to us across dimensions has taught
us about the constancy and power of eternal love. Basking in
the warmth of Julie’s love and assurance, we are able to
carry on without her physical presence in this life, and to
find comfort and happiness despite our enormous loss.

The love and grace Julie showers on us makes me want to

reach out to others to share our miraculous experiences. For
the general reader, I hope this book will enlighten them
about the spirit dimension and the power of eternal love. For
those who are bereaved, I hope they will realize that their
loved ones are close (even while they are in heaven) and
constantly watching over them, even if they do not
 viii

communicate. Or, perhaps they try. Those left behind have

to learn to “listen” in new ways, in order to “hear” these
messages of love from the soul dimension. At the same time,
one does not need to receive spirit communications in order
to heal from grief. Simply understanding that your beloved
one’s spirit is in heaven, yet near you and looking after you
should give you peace and comfort.

I have divided the book into four sections. Section I

(Chapters 1-3) provides some background on Julie to
capture what our angel was like in her earth life. It offers
a brief look into Julie’s terrible illness, her courageous
forbearance, and includes some powerful dreams that
anticipated her illness. It also covers Julie’s transition from
the physical world, our grief, the beginning of our healing
process, and the start of Julie’s amazing spirit messages.

Section II (Chapters 4-7) shares my father’s role as our

guardian angel before Julie’s transition. It details early spirit
communications from Julie, which played a huge role in our
healing and opened my mind to continuing messages from
departed loved ones. It discusses my own spiritual journey
in understanding the spirit dimension and angelic help. It
also explains how Julie, my father, and our other soul mate
angels act as our guardian angels, and includes stories of
other guardian angels I came across in my reading.

Section III (Chapters 8-15) describes Julie’s remarkable

after-death communications (ADCs). It is not a chronological
narration but is organized into separate chapters based on
 ix

different types of messages from her. It was not always easy

to categorize every communication from Julie into this
classification scheme. Many of her ADCs transcend several
categories; these are fully discussed in the chapter with the
best fit, with a brief mention in other places where they also
fit. This section also includes spirit communications from my
father and other soul mates in heaven where relevant. In
each chapter, I also cover ADCs other people have received,
that I came across in my reading.

My research revealed that some books on ADCs were also

organized by type of ADC (as is my Section III), but there are
marked differences in comparing these books with mine.
First, other books on the subject are written mostly by
people who interviewed recipients of ADCs and who have
no first-hand experience of the phenomenon; in contrast,
this book focuses on spirit communications we ourselves
have received, though I do include a large number of ADCs
received by others. Second, the other books report mostly
one-time ADCs from many bereaved people, whereas this
book details a lengthy catalog of Julie’s richly varied spirit
messages to us. Third, the other books tend to talk about
ADCs as a way that souls indicate they are well and say
goodbye. Instead, this book emphasizes that Julie’s
communications teach us that spirits can be in heaven and
yet be connected with us as we go through the rest of our
lives on earth. Finally, this book is different from other books
on ADCs in the level of analysis and reflection it offers, as
well as in discussing concepts of eternal life before birth as
 x

well as after death, and groups of eternal soul mates, all of

which none of the ADC writers seem to know about.

Despite all these differences, I found the other books

fascinating as sources of ADCs from many recipients, and
I have included interesting examples wherever possible. I
have also drawn on academic books and articles to provide
meaning and symbolism where relevant. Unlike my scholarly
publications, I have left the notes in the text itself. This way,
readers can see the sources easily (without going back and
forth to endnotes), and it can help them decide whether to
read a particular source, which they can locate from the
annotated bibliography.

Section IV (Chapters 16-18), is an overview of spirit

communications, and shares the learning I have gained
through my reading, but under the overarching frame of
my own reflections on the subject. It explains that spirit
communications are real—not coincidences, not
hallucinations, and not imagined. It discusses how spirit
communications enlighten us, teaching us what is important
in life and changing our lives for the better. It indicates the
importance of being open to spirit communications from our
loved ones both to heal from bereavement and to further our
soul purpose of learning, growing, and helping others.

The purpose of this book is not to convince skeptics or

traditional scientists of the authenticity of any spiritually
transformative experience, including spirit communications.
Although I have a Bachelor’s degree in physics, I am a
 xi

different kind of scientist. I am open to experiences beyond

our rational understanding, enchanted by the magical, and
humbled by the miraculous.

I do not demand nor offer proof for angelic messages,

which I accept with an open heart and the deepest gratitude.
And I share my knowledge of such phenomena and the
embedded lessons with readers, without reservation, simply
to help others—in the spirit of eternal love and learning.
 12

Section I

Our Beloved Daughter, Julie

 13

Chapter 1
What Julie Was Like

Julie was beautiful—inside and out. She was brilliant,

funny, and charming, and drew people toward her like a
magnet. She was loving, generous, and soft-hearted, always
helping her friends or people in trouble. She was talented as
an artist, a singer, and a writer, and extremely imaginative
and creative. She was simply amazing.

Tall and slim, with long, wavy, dark hair, soft brown eyes,
and a huge smile that lit up her face, Julie attracted people
instantly. Once when Earl, Julie, and I were out, a young man
approached us and politely asked me if he “could date my
daughter.” He said he had watched us interact for a while
and in all his life he had never seen such a glowing spirit as
Julie. He told us he was a medical student and came from a
respectable family. I was at a loss as to what to say and
suggested he ask Julie himself. She charmingly declined.
After the stranger left, looking rather sad, she told us that
this happened to her all the time. Young men she did not
know often asked her out, and some half-jokingly even
proposed marriage as their opening line. I thought that was
scary, but Julie viewed it as a funny and nice compliment.

She did have weaknesses, as we all do. Despite the

confidence Julie showed in the incident I just related, she
was often insecure around friends and family—not quite
sure if she deserved good things, not able to stand up to
 14

people when they were wrong, desperately wanting

everyone she knew to love her.

As a result, she sometimes related the same incident to

different people in entirely different ways to make it more
appealing, or less offensive, to that person. A few people
recognized this trait in her, fondly calling it embellishment.
Julie agreed that she was at heart a story teller. As she saw it,
telling an interesting story was far better than reporting
mere facts.

Another trait that resulted from her insecurity was that

Julie would not seriously disagree or argue with anyone,
family or friends, even when she did not like what they were
saying or doing. She was most agreeable to all, even when
she disapproved of their words or actions. In fact, the only
person she ever argued with was me, and always with a
caveat (even in her letters to me), saying, “I can tell you
exactly how I feel, or disagree with you, or argue with you,
because I know you’ll love me no matter what.” My telling
her that everyone else would still love her too only made her
smile and shake her head.

As a toddler, Julie was always happy. Once while grocery

shopping, she sat in the cart, eating a sweet and wholesome
snack I had made for her, and singing loudly and sweetly,
totally oblivious of people’s amused looks. A lady who
passed us smiled at her and said, “What IS she eating? I’d like
some too!” We both laughed and little Julie joined in the
merriment, laughing heartily.
 15

At two and a half, Julie

was rather anxious about
being away from me on
her first day at pre-school.
But she looked happy
when I picked her up and
I asked her what she did
all morning. She turned
and looked at me with
astonishment in her
round eyes and said, “You
don’t know?” I laughingly
explained to her that as I
was not with her, I could
not possibly know. She
laughed too as she
grasped this new notion
with wonder. Until then
she had been with me constantly, with no baby sitters, so I
had always known what she did and had never asked her
such a question.

Julie and I enjoyed this joke for many years. Even in

college, if she mentioned something unfamiliar to me, Julie
would say, “You don’t know?” in a surprised, childlike tone,
and we both would laugh. She often made me recount the
childhood incident that started this joke, so we could enjoy
the recollection of that innocent stage in her life.
 16

Given what I know about the soul dimension now, I have

a new insight on that childhood incident. I think that very
young children—having recently come from the spirit
realm—expect their soul mates to telepathically know what
they are doing and thinking, even when they are apart.
Perhaps that is why little Julie was surprised I did not know
what she had been doing.

That first day of preschool led to a pattern. Julie continued

to worry about going to a new place, whether elementary
school, swim class, or summer camp, and then absolutely
loved it on her very first day. Whichever institution Julie
joined, she made many friends almost immediately. When
she was in the gifted program in elementary school, and
even as early as Montessori, her teachers told me she could
do even better academically if she did not focus so much on
others. But that was the essence of Julie—interacting with
people and helping them, rather than advancing herself.

I admired these selfless qualities in her, but worried a bit

about her future because she never put herself first. Yet,
research on near-death experiences (NDEs) shows that
helping others is the main reason we come to earth. Julie
seemed to know and remember our “soul purpose” very
well. Once, on the eve of an important exam, she stayed up
all night listening to a friend in trouble. Her reasoning was
that if the lack of sleep caused her grade to slip from an A to
a B, it was fine; helping her friend was far more important.
 17

Julie loved reaching out to those in need. As a teenager,

she served as a volunteer at a hospital and was touched by
the plight of little children with cancer. She took pains to
make beautiful crafts to cheer them up and sat with them
while their loved ones took a break. She told me about the
interactions she had with them, as well as her sadness about
the children’s future.

Here is a photograph of
the two of us (when Julie
was four and a half),
dressed in Indian clothes
that my mother brought
for us. Later, on a visit to
my mother in India when
Julie was a teenager, we
visited a school for blind
girls. Julie and I were very
much moved by these girls
who were energetic and
happy despite their
enormous handicap,
mostly caused by
malnutrition. Julie thought
of them literally until her
dying day, as I relate later.

Julie often thought about people who had a tough or

painful childhood, and said that she and I could not truly
comprehend what some people went through because we
 18

both grew up in happy and safe environments. She told me

sad stories she had heard about child abuse, and asked how
this could be, why children had to suffer—questions we all
ask ourselves at some point in our lives.

But Julie took it further than most people do. She tried to
imagine vividly what the victims of abuse must have gone
through because she thought that was the way to truly
understand their pain. I believe she sometimes took this
exercise too far, and I tried hard to convince her that it was
not a positive way to help them or herself. Together, we tried
to figure out how all this suffering might be part of a soul
plan, but it was not easy. I suggested that these souls might
receive their reward some day for what they had endured.

We talked of her studying law and becoming an advocate

for children’s rights, or perhaps an arts counselor, helping
children heal through their drawings. Julie even had some
complex and meaningful dreams that suggested similar
career paths. It made her happy to think that one day she
could help those who had suffered as children. She felt she
owed them her help because she herself had a sheltered,
safe, and happy childhood, with a loving mother always
protecting her. Even though she often teased me about being
overprotective, Julie always told me how grateful she was
that I watched out for her in so many ways.

One way that Julie watched out for me, in turn, was when
we ventured into water. I always felt completely safe in the
water when Julie was with me. She was a natural swimmer
 19

from the time she took lessons at age six. I called her our
enchanting mermaid. She loved to swim and frolic in the
water as a little girl and as a teenager. She was strong and
graceful as she moved in water, whether in a pool or in the
ocean, so that “mermaid” was truly an apt name for her.

Although Julie was recruited to join swim teams in school,

competing was against her nature. She went along and got in
the team spirit, swimming as fast as she could, but it was
only to make her teammates and coach happy. Julie herself
did not care about winning. Earl and I admired her for these
innate qualities, as we both fully know that we are not here
on earth to compete with others, but to help one another.
It pleased us to see that Julie was happiest when she swam
just for fun.

Like any doting parent I took many pictures of Julie

throughout her life. She usually put up with this, smiling
sweetly or laughing in these pictures. But sometimes she
became exasperated and said, “Oh, Mom, not another picture
of me. Please remember I’m going to be stuck with all these
albums when you’re gone. And who wants to look at
hundreds of pictures of themselves?” I would laugh and say,
“Your husband and kids will enjoy them.” Julie would roll her
eyes but smile good-humoredly. Neither of us imagined that
my beloved child would go before me, and the albums would
be mine to gaze at with mixed emotions for years to come.

Julie’s innate talent as an artist is vividly portrayed in the

many drawings and paintings she created, many of which we
 20

have framed and hung throughout our home. She also

created “art” out of anything she came across, including
stickers on fruits and vegetables, which most people either
do not notice, or see as a nuisance. But Julie saw beauty in
the most unlikely things. She wrote me many letters and
gave me countless cards, most of which she made herself.
They shine with her artistic talent and are brimming with
her love.

She always wrote to me with love and gratitude, and

every letter (even those in which she disagreed with me
about some issue) said “Thanks for all you do for me!” “I’m
so grateful we have each other,” and “Love you forever.”
These letters provide great comfort to me now, but many
things she wrote have a different meaning in light of her
untimely transition, such as—“Even when I’m not with you,
I’m with you,” “Sorry I can’t be with you on [whatever the
occasion], but I’m always with you in spirit.”

Julie used to hide her “love notes” to me when she was a

child, and we were both delighted when I found them. She
continued this tradition every time she visited us from
college. For several years after her transition, I kept finding
her love notes, and cried with joy each time. Often when I
was sad, I got an urge to look for something in a remote
place in the house and found a love note from Julie. I realized
she was helping me locate these notes through telepathic
guidance when I most needed them.
 21

Two years after Julie’s transition, my mother, back home

in India, was feeling particularly sad one day, and she too
found a note from Julie. The note, written many years earlier
on our visit to her, said, “I hope you find this when I’m gone
and remember all the good times we had. Love you, Julie.” It
was inside the pages of a book my mother had often looked
at, but she had never seen the note before. She fully
appreciated the new meaning of the note after Julie’s
transition, and after sharing the incident with me, realized
that Julie had helped her find it when she was sad.

Once, when Julie was in high school, the two of us traveled

by air to visit some friends. We talked animatedly during the
entire flight, but quietly so as not to disturb other
passengers. When we landed, the man sitting next to us,
smiled kindly and said, “I’ve never seen two people enjoy
each other’s company so much on any flight I’ve ever taken.”
We thought it a lovely compliment.

On another flight, a little boy sitting behind Julie tried to

peek at her from all around her seat, and his father tried to
stop him. The boy then sat quietly but looked sad, so Julie
made a quick sketch of something cute, rolled it up and
passed it to him through the tiny space between her seat and
the wall. I peeked at the boy and saw him solemnly gazing at
Julie’s drawing. Then he loudly declared, “I love you, lady!”
as people all around us burst out laughing. I was also
amused, even more so because he called Julie “lady” when
she was just sixteen. The boy was a bit embarrassed at the
laughter, but Julie raised his spirits again by making more
 22

drawings for him, and they made a game of passing the

rolled pieces of paper back and forth between them.

Adjusting to college life was a bit bumpy for Julie. One of

her emails, sent a couple of months after enrolling at the
University of Georgia, best captures her ambivalence about
higher education. Typical of all of Julie’s emails, it also
poetically expresses the love between us. She wrote:
good morning
thank you for the sweet message
feeling better
enjoyed hearing you yesterday
you mean so much to me
your voice was a narrow inlet of the sea between steep
slopes, guess i mean fjord
it made me remember love
i am somewhat disenchanted with the idea of
institutionalized education
i want to be directly involved with everything
soak up as much knowledge as i can in my little sponge-
brain
but sometimes i feel the logistics of the whole thing get in
the way
i’m pretty sure this is a passing discontentment
call it growing pains
shall write more soon
i love you
i miss you
julie
 23

A month later, she seemed even more discontented:

oh mama
i’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately
i don’t know if i’m happy here
more and more i feel like i need to get away
i exist in a bubble
it is tiring
what do you think about my taking next year off
after i have established a good first year transcript
[She then wrote about some possible options for travel,
work, and volunteering.]
i love you so much
talk to you friday
please write me back about this as soon as you get a chance
take care of yourself
your kid,
julie

I replied that we could talk more about all the options

and that I would support her wishes. She thanked me from
her heart. But even before we talked, just two days later, she
wrote a poetic and mature email overcoming her earlier
ambivalence about university life:
hello mom
i went to the library this morning
and as i walked the early mile to the land of literature
the faint sting of silver needles from the sky
pelting down on my eager cheeks
i felt that i really am going to be okay
 24

and although i still would like to travel somewhere in the

next few years
i think i understand now
that the time will come when i can
for now i can concentrate on my life here
and be content
i love you
Julie

Though we talked very frequently, we also exchanged

emails all the time, and as I read through them today, our
love for each other is evident in all of them. Here is an
excerpt from one of Julie’s emails:
....thank you for your beautiful reply; not a day goes by that
i do not thank god for you and our relationship...
....called you this morning
must have missed you (i love bad puns)....

She often sounded tired when we talked, and many of my

emails reminded her to get enough rest, eat well, and be safe.
Even when she chided me for worrying unnecessarily, Julie
wrote:
....we shall talk soon
you are (as always) in my thoughts and heart
julie

Although Julie made many friends at the university and

loved hanging out with them, she cherished her time with us.
Before the end of her first quarter, she wrote:
 25

....i was thinking that we should take a trip over the

holidays
not for the whole time or anything
but maybe we could go somewhere warm
and spend some concentrated time together....

Earl and I delightedly planned a vacation for the three of

us and this was her reply:
i love you so much!
the prospect of our journey is immensely exciting to me
i can’t wait
you and earl are so sweet to plan such a lovely vacation
i know how much work you both have
you are wonderful
take care,
julie

As the second quarter progressed, Julie made some new

friends and became a bit unpredictable, sometimes sad or
grumpy on the phone. It worried me exceedingly, but she
often explained her behavior in thoughtful and mature ways:
....i want to explain to you why i was so melancholy last time
we conversed
there were people in my room
we were having an important discussion
the air was tense and upsetting
i wanted so much to tell you how much you mean to me and
how glad i am we have each other
but all i could do was snap at you about the most irrelevant
things
 26

i am so sorry
i love you so much
i thank god for you....

Julie truly wanted to get away for her sophomore year

and I supported her wish. She applied for an honors
exchange program at Oregon State University and was
accepted. We enjoyed planning her nine-month stay in
Oregon and our visits to her during that time.

Julie and I visited Corvallis at the start of summer. We

loved the town, and Julie especially was taken by its name,
“heart of the valley.” We had a lovely time in Corvallis as well
as in the nearby mountains and on the beaches of the Pacific
coast. We found a nice place for her to live in the fall and
came back home.

At the start of the academic year, my mother (who was

visiting us from India) and I went with Julie, taking along as
much of her stuff as we could, and helped to settle her in the
new apartment. We revisited all the places Julie and I had
explored and loved, and also went to Portland, where we
bought a car for her. Not many students had arrived yet and
Julie was sad when we had to leave. Needless to say, we were
sad as well, especially to see her looking so forlorn. We were
grateful she had an invitation for a get-together that evening
from a German exchange student whom she had just met—
and who later became a good friend.
 27

However, after that first social gathering, Julie felt a bit

lost. She tried hard to form new friendships, meeting people
between and after classes, and also left messages for her
many friends back home. But for some reason, no friend,
current or potential, called her in the first few days. Julie did
not tell me this when we spoke on the phone; she simply
related the day’s events and talked about her classes as well
as the new people she had met.

Then one day she came home after her classes and
grocery shopping and found three messages in her voice
mail. Eager to know who her new friends might be, Julie
listened and found to her growing disappointment, mixed
with amusement, that the messages were all from me. She
decided to take it in good humor and left me a very funny
voice mail at work, as she knew I would already be asleep
given the time difference. I saved the recording and still love
listening to her infectious laughter as she recounts this story.

She soon made some good friends and enjoyed the honors
program as well as many outdoor adventures in Oregon.
Julie’s emails were full of stories about her experiences, but
always sprinkled with love:
hello
how are you?
i just wanted to write you a little message to tell you that i
love you
i had a lovely lunch today
it was so good
it made me think of home....
 28

Julie wrote many emails about how she loved talking with
Earl and me, especially about “life lessons, decisions, and
challenges.” Also, as related in the Preface, the three of us
agreed that we were all soul mates who had planned to be
together in this life, and that my father’s spirit was watching
over us as our guardian angel. Julie had never met my father,
but she called on him one day in Corvallis during her early
days there. On that particular night she could not sleep and
felt terribly lonely and sad. Julie told me she felt instant
peace and love as she gazed at the stars from her window
and talked to my father, and was able to sleep soundly right
away. I was delighted with Julie’s initiative and grateful to
my father for helping combat her sadness.

Earl and I visited Julie at the end of her stay in Oregon,

and we once again saw all the places she and I had enjoyed
on our first visit. Corvallis itself had by now become very
familiar to me and I loved the beautiful little town just as
Julie did. Earl took an immediate liking to the place as well.
Half seriously, we talked of retiring there one day to Julie’s
delight. She not only would get to visit Corvallis repeatedly,
it made her happy that she had introduced us to this
beautiful place.

An interesting phenomenon Julie and I shared was that

we often said precisely the same thing at the same time, and
even in the exact tone of voice. This was not just because we
were mother and daughter. We both felt it showed a
closeness of mind at the spiritual level. Whenever it
 29

happened, we both laughed heartily. Julie called it “our

amazing synchronicity” in deference to Carl Jung, and
pointed out that we even laughed exactly the same way
after these instances.

Once in a car with visiting relatives, an old Beatles song

played on the radio, and in the middle of it, right after the
line, “All you need is love,” Julie and I sang out “pa-pa-ra-ra-
ra” and stopped. Our timing was exact and our voices
blended so perfectly that someone asked which of us sang
that part, because he simply could not tell. We laughed and
said it was both of us. The incident seemed unusual even to
us, because we had never before sung along in that way.
Thinking back on it now gives me a special glow, not only
because of Julie’s and my amazing synchronicity, but also
because of the message of that song.

Even an email Julie sent me from Oregon expresses this

magic we shared:
hello my lovely
i too enjoyed our talk last night
it was so good to hear about everything
i loved how i preempted your punchline
our synchronicity is beautiful....

Also, when she saw the beauty of autumn in Oregon, Julie

collected a variety of richly hued leaves and sent them to me
as a surprise love gift. I was genuinely touched, and it had a
further special meaning as I had done precisely the same
thing for my mother when I came to the U.S. at age 22. Julie
 30

did not know this and was delighted to hear of it. She said
this too was an example of our amazing synchronicity.

Another lovely surprise from Julie occurred after her year

in Oregon, when she returned to Georgia. She was visiting us
one weekend; we had a joy-filled time and were sad when
she had to go. A half hour later, the doorbell rang.
Wondering who this might be, we found Julie, her arms
laden with roses, a ripe pineapple (which had special
meaning for the three of us related to our visit to Hawaii),
a lovely card, and a bright balloon, as my birthday was the
following week. Earl and I were touched by Julie’s loving
surprise and overjoyed to extend her visit.

Julie and I had a long, fun, tradition of dream sharing

which Earl joined in when he came into our lives. The three
of us thoroughly enjoyed interpreting each other’s dreams.
Earl and I were fascinated by Julie’s dreams which were
unquestionably the most complex and the most meaningful.
We were also amazed at her perception and creativity when
she interpreted our dreams, in ways that resonated with us.
Together, we learned to interpret dreams at multiple levels,
and Julie took a leading role in this exercise.

One of her emails nicely captures the joy of this tradition

we shared:
....loved our dream-talk yesterday
so wonderful to connect in that way....
 31

As a junior at Georgia, Julie was accepted in an honors

exchange program in Oxford, England, for the latter part of
the academic year. Here is one of her first emails from
Oxford:
hello mom and earl
hope all is well with both of you
it was so good hearing your voices the other day!
i just wrote you a whole long email and it got erased
i am so irritated!
now i have to leave for a cricket meeting and then dinner..
in a nutshell:
-had my first tutorial today--fascinating, but tons of work
-living situation is good, love my room
-my books are really expensive
-it is a beautiful sunny day today--first one so far
okay, i think that was all i talked about but it was just far
more verbose the first time around.
i love and miss you both dearly!
-julie

Another email from Oxford reminds us now how closely

we kept in touch and helped each other, and also offers a bit
of the campus flavor:
good morning!
thanks for delivering my email to _____
i think i could have figured it out, but i was so tired and the
stupid thing kept getting sent back to me
so i think i finally just gave up
and resorted to the old "mama will make it better" mantra
(it's never failed me!)
 32

okay i need to run to get to lunch on time

i feel like such a little english school girl sometimes
running to the lunch hall and barely scraping past the
matron before the huge wooden doors creak shut
(i need some pigtails and a little plaid skirt...)
anyway, i love you both very very much.
take care,
julie

The next email supplies more campus flavor and also

reminds us how Julie loved to write and be creative:
hello again!
no, i didn't miss the banquet, i missed an ordinary dinner
(which is so insane by the way; they light candles, recite
prayers in latin, the meal is in this huge hall built 250+ years
ago with stained glass windows and gothic sorts of archways,
we have to wear these strange black gowns or we won't get
served, and they do actually serve us like in a restaurant...)
my paper is going fine. i'm actually doing my paper from
the kind of creative standpoint of a medieval oxford student
transported through space and time to present day UGA. i
figure ______ will appreciate something sort of unique.
i have actually been working on my other tutorial papers
too, and kind of vacillating between all of them depending on
what i'm in the mood to think about...
i feel like you, with all of this multi-tasking!
love you!
-julie
 33

She signed some of her emails as “Emmalani” and

addressed me as “Liliokalani,” based on Earl’s fascinating
stories on our visit to Hawaii about these two Hawaiian
queens. Each time she did this, we “played” these roles in
our next few emails, soon shortening our signatures and
greetings to “Emma” and “Lilio,” and eventually going back
to “Julie” and “Mom.” It was fun.

We visited Julie while she was at Oxford, toured all over

the English countryside with her, and had a terrific time. I
did find her very thin, and worried about her health, yet she
seemed very energetic. I noticed that she did not share her
dreams as she used to, but hoped she would get back to it.

On one of our
long walks in
the English
countryside,
I wanted to
capture our
shadows and
suggested that
Earl count to 3
before taking the
shot and that all of us should do something odd on “3.” Earl
was so focused on counting and taking the shot that he
forgot to do anything odd. I did something that looked only
mildly unusual in a shadow. But Julie went whole hog and
made an incredible pose. I love that the photo captures her
creativity and her innate joy in every moment.
 34

Earlier, Julie had sent me a cheery and loving Mother’s

Day email from England, which I was thrilled to receive, and
had no idea that this would be her last Mother’s day email
because she was diagnosed with leukemia eight months
later. I would not have believed it if anyone had predicted
such an event and less so that only a year after that our
beloved child would be gone from the physical dimension.

On her return to the U.S., Julie’s senior year at Georgia

started off promisingly. She was assigned as an assistant to
a professor who was working on exciting research with
strong potential to help people. Specifically, the project
aimed at helping older people improve their vision through
a new set of nutritional guidelines and Julie was happy to be
part of this venture. The professor recognized Julie’s talents
both as a researcher and a person, and assured her that he
would recommend her most highly for a Ph.D. program or
for any job she wanted to pursue on graduation.

The future looked bright, although Julie could not decide

whether to undertake graduate studies, or work in industry
for a while, or just take a year off to think about her life. It
was only after Julie’s transition that a close friend of hers
revealed to us that Julie had often talked to him about death
during this time, especially about people dying young. But at
the time, he did not connect these conversations as directly
pertaining to Julie herself. It seems Julie had premonitions
about her cancer but did not reveal them to anyone.
 35

A mere two weeks before she was diagnosed with the

deadly leukemia, the news of which hit us like a bolt of
lightning, Julie wrote:
oh mama
i know i get annoyed with your seemingly unnecessary
overprotectiveness
but i just had this flash of insight and i wanted to say
thank you for caring
i love you too
julie

As she discussed possible future plans with us, Julie told

us she was bothered by the thought that she was not able to
teach Earl and me anything. We tried to assure Julie that we
learned a lot from her, for example, her perceptive dream
interpretations, her exciting travel experiences, and her
interactions with many kinds of people, but she downplayed
all that. She argued that whenever she came across a new
idea and shared it with us, we discussed it with gusto; and
even though she loved the interchange, she was always
surprised that it was not entirely new to us. Earl and I
laughed it off and said it was because we were so much
older, but Julie said it was because we were both professors.

She told us she had friends whose parents had not been to
college and they looked up to their children and frequently
learned new things from them. She admitted having mixed
feelings—she loved our animated discussions on a large
variety of topics and joked about how these talks helped her
with papers for school and college. Yet, she always felt it
 36

would be wonderful if she could teach us something on a

topic of which we knew very little. Well, now she can and she
does. We are eternally grateful for Julie’s wondrous
teachings to us across dimensions.
 37

Chapter 2
Julie’s Illness and Her Courageous Forbearance

After we returned from a visit to my mother, Julie went

back to the University of Georgia for her last quarter there,
before she would graduate with honors. A few days later she
talked of being very tired and having flu-like symptoms. At
first we thought it was related to jet lag, which we were also
suffering from, but we suggested she see a doctor when her
flu-like symptoms continued after several days. She refused
and said she was well enough to go to classes, so we did not
realize how ill she was, nor that she was attending classes
despite running a fever.

Then one day she fainted while talking to her research

professor. He revived her and urged her to see a doctor at
once. Instead she went to her campus apartment and called
us. When she told us of the fainting incident, we told her we
would come to her right away and take care of her but she
refused. She insisted it was just weakness after the flu and
promised to see a doctor soon. I thought it was either low
blood sugar or low blood pressure. Even those conditions,
I thought, were serious enough to see a doctor immediately.
But Julie said she had made an appointment for two days
later and that was soon enough.

The next morning, Julie woke up hearing a commanding,

male voice in her head saying, “Julie, go to the Acute Care
Center now!” Without thinking and half asleep, she talked
back to the voice saying, “...but I have this make up exam,
 38

so I can’t go today.” The voice repeated the message with

urgency and authority, so Julie dragged herself to the acute
care center. A simple blood test done for suspected mono
revealed a critical stage of advanced leukemia.

We later realized that the voice Julie heard must have

been my father’s, our guardian angel, commanding her to get
this check-up. But, why did he wait so long? There are other
instances I have since read about that suggest that guardian
angels sometimes wait until the last minute because we are
supposed to manage our own lives here as much as we can.

Actually, Julie was given many signs earlier (through

dreams) but she was not ready to recognize them. Now,
finally, my father’s spirit directed her imperatively knowing
that very soon it would be too late. The doctor at the acute
care center said that Julie’s leukemia was so advanced that
without treatment starting that very day, Julie would have
lived for less than a week.

The doctor and Julie called me with the devastating news.

Needless to say I was stunned but there was no time to
think, no time to waste. The situation was critical; Julie
needed to be admitted to the hospital right away. We packed
hurriedly and rushed to meet her, praying it was all a
mistake. Perhaps she had taken an excessive amount of
Echinacea to fight off her cold and it had elevated her white
blood count. But the horrible news was only too real. The
hospital nightmare began that day and continued off and on
for nearly a year. I have no wish to dwell on it.
 39

Seeing your child suffer so horrendously is the last thing

in the world any parent wants. My beautiful child was soon
skinny and pale laying in a hospital bed, with her chest cut
open several times to put in ports for intravenous fluids,
undergoing excruciating bone marrow tests repeatedly,
getting blood drawn several times a day from her too skinny
arms, having countless medications pumped into her that
caused horrific reactions ranging from full-body rashes to
raging fevers, chills, and acute diarrhea, and endless other
types of suffering, too horrible even to recall.

Yet we had to watch her go through all of this and felt

utterly helpless. Julie was admirably courageous in facing all
that befell her, but her terrible suffering was palpable—to
those who could see beyond her brave demeanor. The
extreme pain she felt from radiation and from the cancer
itself, the constant nausea and vomiting from the dreadful
chemotherapy, the fevers and infections as a result of her
depressed immune system, are all much too painful to write
about in detail, despite having notes enough to fill a book.

Nothing is to be gained by dwelling on Julie’s suffering or

on our heartbreak and misery. Instead, I want to focus on the
larger issues of life and death and what Julie’s amazing
messages from the soul dimension are teaching us. Julie’s
horrendous suffering and her courageous forbearance
throughout her illness have taken her to a higher level in the
spirit world; of that we have no doubt. She is peaceful and
 40

happy in her magical dimension and there is much to learn

from her loving communications.

The chemotherapy and eventual bone marrow transplant

helped extend Julie’s life for almost a year. For that we are
grateful. But what she suffered in that year is unimaginable
to those who have not experienced the ravages of cancer and
of the associated treatments. Despite all of her suffering,
Julie was compassionate to everyone—she was kind to
doctors even when they were impersonal or cold, she always
inquired of nurses if they were tired, she was reluctant to
complain whenever hospital personnel made mistakes
because she worried about their jobs, she assured her
friends who did not visit as often as others that it was
perfectly fine, and she was reluctant to ask her visiting
friends to leave even when they often overstayed and were
clearly if unwittingly wearing out what little strength she
had. It stressed us exceedingly to see Julie taking care of
everyone but herself, but there was nothing we could do.

Some of these behaviors, which were exceedingly

generous at one level, seemed self-destructive at another
level to Earl and me. For example, Julie had told her huge
circle of friends that they were always welcome to walk into
her hospital room at any time. So that is just what they did—
often waking Julie when she had just fallen asleep after an
exhausting and painful medical procedure. The hospital had
no limits on visiting hours which made it very difficult for us
to insist that Julie’s visitors wait to see her until she was
awake. The more reasonable friends could be persuaded to
 41

wait, but others insisted Julie would want them to walk in

and so they did. And even when she was disturbed from
badly needed sleep in this way, Julie would stir herself
valiantly, greet them, and ask them about their day.

Having a stream of visitors did make Julie happy but

ended up exhausting her, especially as many of the friends
stayed very late. Every time, we witnessed Julie’s subsequent
suffering when the visitors finally left, due to the lack of
badly needed rest on top of her grave illness and pernicious
treatment. This led to tension and arguments as Earl and I,
and my mother whenever she was present, pleaded with
Julie to take better care of herself. But Julie insisted she was
doing what was right for her and sometimes seemed almost
paranoid that she would lose her friends if she placed any
restrictions on them.

The nurses too sometimes woke Julie needlessly, as seems

routine in most hospitals. Julie would complain to me if the
nurses had been inconsiderate, but if I proposed that she or
I should talk to them to ask for more consideration of her
needs, Julie would panic and insist that we not do so. On the
few occasions I did talk to nurses or Julie’s friends about
being more considerate—driven by my frustration at seeing
Julie deprived of much needed sleep—Julie would find out
and contradict me by telling the party concerned that
whatever they did was fine with her. The few occasions
when Julie was reasonable about these issues, Earl, my
mother, and I were relieved and happy; but just as Julie
started on a regimen of rest and standing up for herself,
 42

she would backslide into her self-sacrificing behavioral

patterns to our dismay.

Still, despite all these issues, Julie courageously bore all

the travails of the treatment for nearly a year, and beat the
disease several times. But each time she recovered, she
relapsed again, and the cancer was more vicious than before.
And yet, every time Julie recovered, we were extremely
thankful and joyful. We were confident throughout her
illness that she would beat the cancer eventually.

It was only in the last few weeks that we knew there was
very little hope, and still we prayed for a miracle; we so
wanted our beloved child to survive—physically. Only in
Julie’s very last week on earth, did we switch our prayers to
asking for a peaceful transition to the spirit dimension for
her, and for eternal peace and joy for her soul.

Although the doctors said they could not identify the

cause of her leukemia, we suspected smoking to be the
cause—Julie’s own, as well as the second-hand smoke that
she was always around, because most of her close friends
were heavy smokers. Several studies in Europe and the U.S.
have shown that benzene and other chemicals in cigarettes
are linked to leukemia, and that even some incidences of
childhood leukemia are strongly linked to parental smoking.
But since not all smokers or those exposed to second-hand
smoke get leukemia, there might be some sort of genetic
predisposition as well.
 43

Despite all the published research on this, the doctors did

not identify smoking as a likely cause of leukemia when they
talked with us. They maintained this position even when we
asked them specifically about it, and outside Julie’s hearing.
Yet, there were several young people in their 20s in that
leukemia ward and every one of them had been a smoker
right until the time their leukemia was diagnosed. We
learned this through brief, chance conversations between
all of us troubled parents, spending months at a time in a
hospital with our cancer-stricken children.

Also, a couple of spouses of older leukemia patients

shared that the same doctors had told them to stay away
from second-hand smoke, even to the extent of avoiding
restaurants which allowed segregated smoking, which was
the norm in those days. I found such divergent advice very
strange at the time. But in hindsight, it is possible that Julie
and other young patients requested the doctors not to
mention smoking as a likely cause of leukemia to their
parents, and the doctors probably agreed due to their often
exhibited concern about lawsuits arising from violations of
patient privacy. Sadly, every one of those young people died.

We learned later from a close friend of Julie’s that during

all of her remissions, any time she went out with her friends,
which was often, many of them continued to smoke around
her. Their doing so was not malicious, because all her friends
loved Julie in their own way. It was simply careless, born of a
failure to comprehend that smoking might truly be the
culprit and their inability to refrain from doing something
 44

that could possibly hurt their friend in an irrevocable way.

The news that they did this despite all our pleas to them to
be smoke free around Julie, and that Julie herself allowed it
with no complaints whatsoever, broke our hearts yet
another time.

These young smokers seemed to have blinders on as far

as smoking was concerned. Julie herself never acknowledged
that smoking was the most likely cause of her leukemia at
any time in her physical state, and denied it if anyone else
suggested the possibility. She did acknowledge it to me after
her transition in a dream visitation that touched me deeply,
and which I relate in Chapter 10.

I myself always had an aversion to cigarette smoke, even

at a time when it was considered respectable. Even as a child
I openly shied away from smokers and was called rude by
many a guest at our house for my avoiding them and their
smoke so openly. Perhaps I knew instinctively, or at a soul-
level, what is now common knowledge around the world.

But Julie did not have this instinct. As a child, she knew
well about the horrific effects of smoking, talked openly
about them with me, and warned me if she saw smokers
approaching us. It still seems incredible to me that despite
her early defensive attitude against smoking, Julie took up
smoking at the young age of 15 to fit in with her “cool”
friends. Studies show that nicotine is terribly addictive
especially at a young age and that women in particular are
less able to give it up.
 45

Sadly, Julie was unable to give up smoking no matter how

hard we pleaded with her. She assured us she did not smoke
much and promised she would give it up eventually. As she
did not smoke around us, we did not realize the extent of her
smoking or of the constant exposure to cigarette smoke that
she experienced. Nevertheless, I hated that she smoked at all
and we had many discussions and arguments on the subject.
Julie often promised to quit and even told us many times that
she had, but the truth is she never did. So by the time she
was diagnosed at age 22 with advanced leukemia, she had
been putting carcinogens directly into her lungs and also
breathing in clouds of second-hand smoke for almost one-
third of her young life.

Earlier I mentioned Julie’s warning dreams. Julie had

many dreams of this type ever since she started smoking,
but especially in the few years before her illness. These
dreams clearly urged her to give up smoking and warned her
of dire consequences if she did not. But she chose to ignore
the obvious interpretation in each case.

The first such dream she had was at age 15. She dreamed
that I had baked a huge birthday cake for her, one that she
could walk through, and once inside she could see pictures
of her life ahead, but they stopped at age 20 or so. I did not
even know at that time that she had started smoking, so my
interpretation of this particular dream was far from the
obvious one. I thought the dream just ended prematurely.
I did not at all understand its true significance.
 46

I do not think Julie did either as she was not smoking

heavily yet. She thought the dream meant I was celebrating
her birthday by giving her a unique walk-through cake. Julie
drew a picture of the cake for me and her walking through it,
and some of the beautiful things she saw. She recalled she
was ecstatic in the dream that I had baked such an enormous
cake for her with so many wonders inside. In hindsight, the
interpretation is obvious. By having her as my child, I had
helped to give Julie opportunities to enjoy the wonders she
had already experienced in her beautiful life. But her life
would be cut short in her early twenties if she continued on
her new path of smoking. The dream also showed her the joy
of being alive in this world and how that might be lost to her.

In high school, Julie had a dream that she and I were

taking a trip by plane and they were showing a television
documentary about some dreadful disease. In the dream she
was about 40 and so was I. We were best friends, not mother
and daughter, and she told me in the dream that she needed
to pay attention to the documentary as it may relate to her.

I thought the dream was a warning that she should

completely give up her “occasional” smoking (which is all
she would admit to us by this time) or she would be too
addicted to quit, and after many years of smoking she could
end up with lung cancer when she was about 40. I did not
realize that she was already addicted.
 47

Julie was irritated with my interpretation. She said the

dream was about how she wished I could just be her best
friend instead of always the mother trying to tell her what to
do, such as quitting smoking, which was not a big deal
anyway. She thought that perhaps the disease was related to
someone else that she would take care of. I was amazed at
her blocking the obvious interpretation because she was so
clever and intuitive in interpreting most of our dreams.

As a freshman in college, I believe Julie had started

smoking pretty heavily, but we still did not know how
much she smoked because she did not smoke around us.
She dreamed of a monster chasing her, but she was not
really frightened, just amused by it. She knew she could
outrun it. She ran through woods and towns, but it kept
behind her relentlessly. Finally, when she thought she was
free of it, she found herself trapped with the monster in a
room with no doors or windows, no avenue for escape, and
the monster was getting bigger every minute.

Julie told me her interpretation before I could think about

it, and convinced me it was about a college-related problem
she had been ignoring and promised to take care of it before
it became unmanageable. In hindsight, it was clearly another
warning dream to give up smoking. Julie’s taking the whole
problem of smoking much too lightly is well represented in
the dream, as is the addict’s typical attitude of thinking they
can quit any time. Being trapped with “no avenue for escape”
from the cancer that kept growing viciously is all too obvious
and heartbreaking in retrospect.
 48

At the end of that academic year, Julie had a dream that

she was with a group of friends in a red convertible, all of
them having the time of their lives, and the song “Oh, what a
night...” was playing loudly, when suddenly the happy scene
changed abruptly and she was dying in a hospital bed and
only I was with her, sitting on her bed and hugging her.

I was most alarmed—this dream was clearly a warning. I

now truly feared Julie would get lung cancer in her forties or
so if she continued to smoke. Perhaps the earlier dream had
me still thinking this would happen around age 40; I never
imagined any immediate, life-threatening concern while she
was so young. But even that scenario frightened me and I
begged her to quit smoking. Once again, Julie was annoyed at
me for this interpretation. She said the dream simply meant
that even though I was not with her when she was having
fun, I would be there for her when she had troubles.

She insisted that dreams are figurative, not literal, and the
hospital scene simply signifies troubles or low points in our
lives. She thought it was a nice dream that showed that I
would always be there for her when she had problems. The
full impact of this “literal” dream hit us when she got
dangerously ill very abruptly two and a half years later. Julie
did admit to me then, as she lay in her hospital bed, that this
particular dream had been literal after all. Unbelievably, she
still did not connect it with her smoking.
 49

At the time she had this dream (end of her freshman

year), Julie did not take it or other similar dreams seriously.
In the summer that followed, Julie and I were in Corvallis to
check out Oregon State University, where she would transfer
in the fall in an honors exchange program for her sophomore
year. While there, I had a scary dream that Julie was floating
in a large tank like the mermaid in the movie Splash, except
that this tank was filled with smoke instead of water. Her
beautiful hair floated above her, and she looked weak and
ashen just like the mermaid in the movie. I was totally
distressed. By now Julie was no longer able to keep from
smoking even when she was with us, although she always
went outdoors; and she also kept it to a minimum while she
was around us, as she later told me.

When I shared the dream, Julie inexplicably said, “Was I

dead?” I assured her she was not but that she looked very ill.
She kept asking, “But did I die?” even when I repeated that
she had not, which I found exceedingly morbid. I begged her
to quit smoking right away, and promised that Earl and I
would do all we could to help her while she went through
the process, because I suspected there would be serious
withdrawal effects. But Julie laughed it off. She said my
interpretation represented my own paranoia about smoking
and the dream did not imply that she would actually get ill.
How she concluded that is a mystery to me. She did promise
to try to quit, and gave me hope she would do it shortly.

I got a nonsmoking apartment for her, that she would

share with other students, presumably nonsmokers, to
 50

influence her to stop smoking. It was only later that I found

that Julie sat outside that apartment and smoked anyway.
Many of my emails to Julie while she was in Oregon were
about different ways to quit smoking, what to do to get over
the craving, and how to occupy her mind with other
pursuits. Julie never answered these emails. But she often
told me on the phone that she was trying a homeopathic
remedy, or an aromatic therapy, or something else, to stop
smoking. Each time I was delighted and extremely hopeful.

Soon after the start of her junior year, Julie had sudden
uncontrolled bleeding during menstruation. She was very
scared and called me at a conference I was attending. I urged
her to seek immediate care, which she had planned on doing
anyway, but had called just to let me know what she was
going through. She called me back after seeking medical
care, and said she was given medication to stop the problem,
which was caused by stress, and that she was fine now.

Earl and I wanted to visit her at once and make sure she
was indeed okay but she insisted all was well now and that
the stress was work-related and no longer relevant. When
I insisted we see her, she flatly said she did not want us to
visit as she had too much work, and that she would instead
visit us in the break as we had planned. We were hurt by her
refusal to let us visit her, and worried about her health.

On a hunch, I asked if the doctor said anything about her

smoking, but she was irritated by this and said it had no
connection. It was much later, during the final stages of her
 51

illness that Julie confided to me that she had not wanted us

to visit her at her new shared apartment, as the extent of her
smoking and her exposure to persistent second-hand smoke
(given that all her friends smoked heavily) would have been
very obvious to us. Also, a while after Julie’s transition, I was
saddened to find a medical report regarding this problem,
where the doctor had specifically written that Julie should
stop smoking immediately.

Near the end of her junior year in college, I was getting

truly alarmed that Julie still smoked. She had started losing
weight but she would not let me discuss my concerns. She
joked that “Oh, you look so thin” is something mothers are
wired to say. She told me her chubby friends’ mothers said
it too. Julie insisted that she was lean, not thin. When we
visited her in Oxford, England, at the end of that academic
year, she looked extremely thin to me, as I mentioned in
Chapter 1. But she did seem to have tremendous energy and
I hoped that her obvious weight loss was not a problem.

After returning to the University of Georgia for her senior

year, Julie had a horrible nightmare. She was truly frightened
and called me up immediately. She said in her dream she
opened the front door and there stood Death, in a black
hooded gown. She was terrified and started to run through
the house, but he followed her. She screamed for me and I
appeared. We held hands and both of us kept running but he
chased us relentlessly. The house kept expanding and we ran
through tunnels and tubes but he followed us no matter
where we tried to hide or how fast we ran. Finally, our
 52

handhold slipped and Julie fell away from me and my

outstretched hand down a vertical tube and knew with
dread that she could no longer escape Death.

I was so numbed listening to this dream that I could

barely speak. Julie asked me what I thought it meant. It was
difficult to believe that she could not see the meaning plain
and clear.

It was much later that I comprehended the full

significance of the details of this dream. The tubes and
tunnels represented Julie’s circulatory system through
which the vicious leukemia would course relentlessly till it
killed her. My being with her through it all, holding her hand,
and trying my best to help her escape—but being helpless to
save her at the end was all too true.

But all I saw at this time was the dream’s main message.
I said, “The dream is a dire warning, Julie. You need to quit
smoking RIGHT NOW—or it’ll be too late.” I was shocked by
her defensive reaction. She said, “Mom, you have only one
interpretation for all such dreams. Why is this one about
smoking? Maybe I’ll be in a car accident. The dream is about
dying but it says nothing about smoking. I’ll just be extra
careful driving.”

I told Julie it was imperative we carefully examine this

dream as well as revisit all earlier dreams of this nature, but
Julie interrupted me to say said she was disappointed by my
closed-minded, one-track interpretations and would no
 53

longer share such dreams with me. She kept her word sadly,
and only during her last month on earth confided to me one
night in the hospital that she had some more terrifying
warning dreams in the last few months before her illness
was diagnosed. She was too tired and weak to share them
and I was too heartbroken to ask.

I told her instead that we should continue to focus on

healing imagery as we had done throughout her illness. Julie
bravely agreed. Strangely, all through her horrendous
suffering, Julie could not visualize the cancer as an enemy as
someone had suggested, nor could she visualize herself
killing the cells as other cancer patients have tried in using
visualizations. Instead she saw herself doing a dance with
them and trying to make them disappear without hurting
them. I could not comprehend this at all, but she had to use
whatever imagery worked for her.

At a fairly late stage in her illness I had a dream that little

Julie, about three years old, was playing in our backyard as
I watched her happily. Suddenly, a black panther leaped out
of nowhere and grabbed Julie’s head in its powerful jaws.
Terrified but furious, I jumped up and began to hit the
panther with a huge wooden stick with all my might, and it
released Julie at once, and bounded out of sight. As I turned
with relief to tend to Julie, she sat up and said, “Bye, bye
Kitty, come back later!” and I was horrified and screamed,
“Noooo…” and woke up with my heart pounding, and my
scream echoing in my mind. The realization flooded me that
the dream accurately reflected the strange reality that at
 54

some level Julie seemed to welcome the cancer as a friend,

even though it was killing her.

But soon after this, Julie had one more relapse following
one more recovery. Now finally, she was angry at the cancer;
and angry at herself as well, perhaps for not fighting it with
all her heart so far. She summoned a sudden burst of energy
from her frail body while lying in the hospital bed, and
kicked like a karate expert at this invisible killer for several
minutes. I cheered her with all my love, and hugged her as
she lay back exhausted. I hoped against hope that this would
do the trick. But sadly, though we did not know it yet, it was
already too late. The killer had a vicious grip on my beloved
child, just as the panther did in my dream.

And yet, all through her illness I had a beautiful, recurring

dream of being with Julie in a swimming pool. In this dream,
Julie swam underwater and came up out of the water like a
mermaid, bathed in a soft, glowing, yellow light. I was
standing in the pool at one end and Julie emerged close to
me, touching me. I held her, my darling daughter, and we
were so very close that we were as one. I was flooded with
peace and knew she would recover from this horrific illness.

This dream gave me great comfort and I associated the

glowing yellow light that covered Julie so completely, with
the platelets that she was given very often during her illness.
They had that same, soft, yellow color. I thought that an
image of a film of platelets covering her so fully, along with
my loving embrace, signified her healing to come.
 55

Only later, after Julie’s transition, did I understand that

this recurring dream conveyed an image of Julie’s golden,
loving soul, so very close to mine, forever. I believe this
imagery was angel-sent, trying to prepare me for what was
to come. But at the time I was too focused on Julie’s recovery
to interpret it in any other way than I did.

During Julie’s illness I first learned about people helping

each other directly with their loving energy projected
telepathically. Earl and I had heard of the Japanese art of
Reiki, whereby you can heal or energize someone with
concentrated energy even sent from a distance, but we were
somewhat ambivalent about the reality of this phenomenon.

When Julie became ill, a friend of my mother’s, who is a

Reiki Master, sent this form of healing energy to Julie. It did
not result in a permanent cure, but we believe it may have
contributed to Julie’s remissions and to her extraordinarily
high energy level even when she was ill and suffering. This
lady also sent me energy from time to time during Julie’s
illness. Though I was not aware of any energy flow, I must
have received it or been helped by our soul mate angels,
because I got by on very little sleep for a year and always
had enough energy to take care of Julie and handle the
myriad problems associated with her illness.

Another source of my energy was Earl. In addition to

helping me through the most horrendous period in my life,
we discovered that if he just held me quietly for a few
 56

minutes, I would become energized. I was amazed and asked

him how this could be. He answered that he was learning to
focus his energy and willed it to flow to me when he held me.

He said he was doing the same for Julie even without

touching her. Whereas I spent nights in Julie’s hospital room
and could hold Julie when her daylong stream of visitors had
finally ended, Earl could not even sit by her bed and hold her
hand. He knew Julie would be uncomfortable if he did this,
especially if her friends walked in unannounced, as they did
all day. Even I did not hold her hand when they were around.

So he learned to project his energy to give her strength.

But for this he needed to sit quietly and concentrate with his
eyes closed. So it was important that Julie was asleep and no
one else was in the room. As Julie had many visitors every
day, Earl was able to do this only at times and not as often as
he wished. He said he felt his energy flowing toward Julie but
she never mentioned feeling anything. But neither did she
directly feel the Reiki that my mother’s friend sent her.

I tried to do the same for Julie but could not. But I knew
I was transmitting positive energy to Julie, when I lay next to
her and held her, or massaged her poor, sore body. I was not
conscious of an energy flow, but I did feel her body relax and
grow peaceful when I touched her, and rightly assumed that
energy, or love, was flowing from me to her.

Although Julie could not consciously feel the energy that

Earl projected to her when she was asleep, nor the energy
 57

my mother’s friend projected to her across thousands of

miles, she was becoming unusually aware of people’s energy
around her when she was awake. Once when I came back to
her hospital room after stepping out for a few minutes, her
eyes were closed, so I moved very quietly to a chair and sat
down without making a sound. A minute later, Julie, with her
eyes still closed asked me for water.

As I gave it to her I asked how she knew I was back. I do

not wear perfume. Had I made a sound after all? And even if
I did, how did she know it was me? After all, her friends
dropped in all the time to see her. Julie laughed and said,
“I can sense your energy Mom—no one else projects so
much love combined with so much worry.” I could not figure
out how she could sense all this and Julie did not know
either. Perhaps she was already becoming more attuned to
the spirit dimension, but we did not realize it.

I laughed and agreed about the love but tried to tell her I
was not worried; after all, I knew she was going to recover.
Julie opened her eyes, looked straight at me, and said, “Your
energy doesn’t lie, Mom, you’re very stressed.” I confessed
that I was indeed stressed and worried about her pain and
suffering—that it hurt me a lot to see what she was going
through and that I felt helpless that I could not do anything.

Julie replied that I could not possibly do more and she

loved feeling the loving part of my energy. But if I could be
more peaceful and not worry as I did, she would be able to
sense my peace of mind and become more serene herself.
 58

I tried very hard to be calm but the only times Julie said she
could sense that I was peaceful was when I was holding her
or massaging her. If I sat at a distance from her, especially
when there were other people in the room, Julie told me
later that she could feel my enormous love flowing to her,
but it was still mixed with pronounced anxiety.

Due to her extreme pain and discomfort, especially as the

disease progressed, Julie often had her eyes closed while
visitors sat in her room. So I asked Julie if she could sense
other people if they did not speak. I was surprised to hear
that she could recognize everyone she knew well—family
and friends—simply by their energy flow. She said some
people were peaceful, others were stressed, and everyone
had different levels of love for her. But she accepted them all.
Once when a friend came to see her in the hospital and
apologized for not coming by for several months while Julie
had been gravely ill, Julie said, “Please don’t feel bad, you
were with me.” I wondered if Julie was just being generous,
or if she had truly felt this friend’s love (or energy) even
from afar, something beyond my perceptual abilities.

It was after her unexpected relapse following the

seemingly successful, grueling bone marrow transplant that
one of the doctors told us Julie did not have much of a chance
to recover, and that we would have to pray for a miracle.
When asked how long she had, and expecting to hear “a few
months,” the doctor casually replied that it may be two
weeks unless she tried another experimental treatment and
even that might not work, so it might only add a few more
 59

weeks. Julie was shaken to the core as were we, but we tried
to hold on to our firm belief that she would beat all odds and
recover. Julie (and we) agreed to the new treatment but
privately Julie insisted I repeat to her that I understood this
may actually be her last couple of weeks on earth.

Reluctantly I did and we both cried. She told me she

would always be with me as my “little angel,” even if I lived
very long. I said I did not want to live long without her here,
and prayed I could give my life for hers. She magnanimously
said, “You already have, Mom.”

Everyone who loved Julie prayed for a miracle and Julie

underwent one more experimental treatment. She seemed to
recover at first as she always had with every treatment, and
we still hoped and prayed very hard she would make it. But
it was not to be. This time the side effects were not quite as
ravaging as those of the previous treatments; but Julie just
seemed to sink quietly every day.

A few weeks before Julie’s transition, while we were still

praying for a miracle and believing that she would beat the
cancer after all, I found a note on her bedside table that Julie
had apparently written in the middle of the night. The note
was disturbing and puzzling. She had written, “I’ve told so
many lies to so many people…If I try to set it right, all my
friends would leave me, and my mother would cry and cry.”

I was well aware of Julie’s penchant for story-telling, but

this note seemed rather extreme. I did not know if it
 60

reflected reality or whether Julie wrote something

nonsensical under the influence of all the medications
constantly being pumped into my poor child. What I did
know was that if I left the note where it was, Julie would
know I had seen it and would be terribly upset. So, I tore it
and threw it away, hoping somewhat irrationally but with
great feeling that by destroying the note I had purged the
sad thoughts associated with it.

When Julie woke up, I saw her looking around a bit but
she did not mention it and later seemed to forget it. I wanted
to tell Julie that it would be okay—she could correct any
wrong impressions she had given to people, and those who
loved her would still be her friends. But I knew she would
be furious at herself and at me that I had seen and read the
note, and I wanted to prevent any unnecessary stress for
her at such a critical time. I did say something similar in a
roundabout way to reassure Julie that all would be okay,
but it was too circumspect to get the point across.

The only direct reference to this issue came from Julie

herself at a heartbreaking moment, when we were saying
goodbye to each other, after finding out she had run out of
time. Julie and I assured each other of our eternal love and
asked for forgiveness for anything we may have done to hurt
each other.

I told Julie I was sorry if I hurt her whenever I insistently

and actively tried to get her to take better care of herself
against her own inclinations—whether related to smoking
 61

or interactions with her friends. I said I knew she thought

I was being controlling but I was simply trying to protect my
child—often from herself. Julie said she understood and
forgave me, and added, “I know everything you do is because
you love me.” She had said the same thing many times in all
her loving letters to me—and it always touched me deeply.

And then she said, “I can’t really talk about this, but please
forgive me for all the lies. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Much as
this puzzled me, it obviously related to the note she had
written during the night a few weeks ago. I still had no idea
what she meant, but my heart ached for her. I told her not to
worry and that I forgave her. She seemed greatly relieved.

After Julie’s transition, however, Earl and I wondered

whether Julie was so afraid of not being able to get her life
back on track because of the false impressions she had
created along the way that she just gave up on life. It made
us very sad because we know that all of us make mistakes—
it is part of being human. But the other part is to learn from
these mistakes, correct what we can, and go on. Julie had so
much goodness in her that we felt sure that most people who
knew her, loved her for that reason alone, and not based on
any stories she may have fabricated. But Julie herself did not
believe this. She always undervalued her own goodness and
worth, something we just could not comprehend.

Another interpretation of this puzzle is based on someone

else’s earlier insight. During Julie’s last month here, one of
her dearest friends asked if he could bring a family friend
 62

who was a “healer” to the hospital. We had already seen that

the Reiki sent to Julie for months had not worked in a
permanent way. And yet we were happy to grab on to any
possible avenue to save our beloved child. So we agreed.
This lady, after spending only a short while with Julie,
enigmatically told us that sometimes when higher-level
souls take the wrong path, or lose their way, they decide to
leave because they can do more good in the spirit dimension.

I was hurt and upset on hearing this. This lady was

supposed to “heal” Julie and yet she was talking of Julie’s
“leaving” when we were desperately praying for her
recovery. She went on to say that it was obvious that Julie
and I had an eternal love connection and had spent many
lives on earth as mother and daughter, often switching roles.
Although this was intriguing, I felt she was trying to appease
me and I was still upset that she had not healed Julie.

But in the year after Julie’s transition, I got a hint here and
there through her friends as to what the “lies” Julie referred
to may have been about. It sounded distressing and I decided
not to pursue this, but to focus on Julie’s love and wisdom in
the spirit world and on our eternal love connection.

I also grasped what the healer was trying to tell us. She
may have sensed a resistance from Julie at the spirit level to
whatever healing she tried, and yet she could sense that Julie
was a higher-level soul. Based on this and her experiences
with other dying people, she shared an insight with us,
 63

which we could not fathom at the time, and saw as terribly

negative, focused as we were on Julie’s physical survival.

The healer’s saying Julie was a higher-level soul was no

surprise to us even back then. Julie was always kind and
generous to everyone she met. She “lit up” a room with her
goodness from the time she was a baby, her beautiful spirit
shining through her eyes and her smile. And after her
transition, the magical messages of love and wisdom that we
receive from her are also evidence of her high soul level.

Even during her illness—when Julie seemed insecure

and resisted our advice to take better care of herself—there
was wonderful confirmation of her beautiful soul. I am
not referring to her obvious generosity to everyone with
whom she interacted. The evidence I refer to is related to a
powerful anesthetic that was given to Julie every time she
had to undergo an excruciating bone marrow test, which
was far too often unfortunately. The doctors and nurses
had warned us privately that this anesthetic removed all
inhibitions so that quiet, reserved people often became loud
and obnoxious during its influence, some people swore and
cursed, and others seemed terrified.

At the time, I was not too concerned about any temporary

effects on Julie’s behavior, but it troubled me that there
might be some lasting ill effects of such a potent drug. It was
only later that I realized that the side effect of this anesthetic
was similar to being terribly drunk. Some drunks are violent
 64

and others are happy. It is the true essence of the person that
emerges when inhibitions are gone.

In Julie’s case, something wondrous happened. Every

single time she was given this anesthetic, she became calm
and sweet, and glowed with love. She reached out to me and
stroked my cheek, saying, “I love you, Mama,” most tenderly,
in a room full of hospital staff, something grown-up Julie
would never do in front of other people. Earl and I were
thrilled to see that this is what Julie was like with her
inhibitions removed. I told Earl, privately and joyously,
“This golden, glowing spirit, deeply connected to me with
love—this is who Julie really is, despite all her insecurities
and contradictions,” and Earl agreed wholeheartedly.

There is a particular incident related to this. On one

occasion when she was given this anesthetic, as she stroked
my cheek lovingly, she said, “Did you know I’m Cinderella
and that I’ve lost my shoe?” At the time I thought this was
funny and cute and shared it later with Julie when the
anesthetic had worn off. Julie got a big kick out of it and
shared it with all her friends, who also enjoyed the joke
and teased her about it for days.

But years later, in musing over what she said, I realized

that it was analogous to what the healer had hinted (at a
very late stage in Julie’s illness) about Julie being a higher-
level soul who had lost her way. With her inhibitions gone,
I believe Julie was expressing that same deep thought to me
(though much earlier in her illness) in a metaphor similar to
 65

dream-talk, which she and I had loved sharing in happier

times. “Cinderella” suggested a princess, an allegory for a
high-level soul. And because shoes are used for walking,
“lost her shoe” was a way to express “lost her way.” So Julie
knew at a deep level that she had lost her way and perhaps
that is why she did not fight the cancer with all her heart.

Another link to this idea was only about a week or so

before her transition. Julie half woke up one night and said
to me, “Did you know I was twins, and they’re doing a study
on me to see why I’m going separate ways?” At the time,
hearing this saddened me very much. I thought it reflected
Julie’s growing “confusion” and added to my heartache.

But later, on reflection, I understood that it ties in with

the idea of divergent soul paths that the healer hinted at, and
that Julie herself expressed under the effect of the anesthetic.
In addition, it relates to Julie’s trying to comprehend in her
dream state that her soul would soon separate from her
body. And even in her frail condition, she stirred herself half
awake and tried to share that concept with me, perhaps to
prepare me for what was to come. My amazing Julie!
 66

Chapter 3
Julie’s Transition, Our Grief, and Starting to Heal

During that final month, while I was lying on a chair-

bed in Julie’s hospital room and praying fervently for her
recovery as I had for almost a year, I suddenly saw an
amazing image, with my eyes still closed. Julie was lying on
her bed next to me (as she was in reality) and a shaft of light
came through clouds I saw above her bed and flooded her in
a cone of white, glowing light. My first thought was that this
was heaven-sent healing light, and I joyously concluded that
Julie would recover after all. Then I remembered that Julie
was very still in this vision, and that was disturbing. But
I told myself she was simply resting, healing.

Two weeks later I had a dream that Julie was prancing

in an open, sunlit field, running and jumping high in slow
motion with her long, gorgeous hair (that she no longer had
due to the chemotherapy) flying behind her. She looked
blissful and I was deliriously happy seeing her this way. This
time she was far from being still—she was full of energy.
I took this to mean that Julie would receive her miracle after
all and would recover. But the next morning, I realized
instinctively that the dream showed me Julie’s soul, happy
and free, and I knew with a heavy heart what this meant.

I understood then that the imagery I was given two

weeks earlier, where Julie was flooded with a cone of white,
glowing light while lying in bed, represented the divine Light
coming to meet Julie’s soul. I also realized that I was given
 67

this vision to help me comprehend that Julie was not going

to survive the cancer in our physical world, but she would be
helped by the divine Light to a beautiful place.

The same night that I had the dream of Julie prancing

joyfully, almost flying, in a sunlit field, a nurse’s aide at the
hospital, who was a loving and good soul, shared her dream
with me that was remarkably similar. She dreamed that Julie
was riding a horse in slow motion and her long hair (that the
aide had only seen in photos of Julie) was flying behind her.
She too first thought it meant Julie would recover after all,
but suddenly knew with certainty that it represented Julie’s
spirit. The aide was not sure whether to share the dream
with me as she knew how hard we were still praying for
Julie’s recovery. But she saw something in my eyes that day
that made her realize that I also knew the end was near, and
so she shared her dream, and we both cried.

When the doctors told us the grim news a couple of days

later, Earl and I shared these dreams with Julie, who was
remarkably brave about it. She said much as she had wanted
to beat the cancer, she could no longer fight—her body was
so worn out and poisoned with chemicals and cancerous
cells that she knew it would not work anymore. We cried
and hugged each other.

Then Julie bravely cheered up and said she loved the

images of her running, jumping, and riding a horse in slow
motion with her long hair flying and she was now looking
forward to her journey. She asked me if I thought my father
 68

would come to meet her and I told her I had no doubt of that.
Julie also asked a caring nurse if she thought it would be easy
to find the divine Light, and the nurse wisely replied, “Julie,
the Light will come find you—you are so good.”

Almost a year earlier, when Julie had fainted the day

before her leukemia was diagnosed, she had seen and felt
herself moving joyously in slow motion in a beautiful place,
similar to the dream images the nurse’s aide and I had. She
had told me of this late in her illness, but while we still held
hope for a miraculous recovery. Now, many years later, I
realize that Julie’s experience may have been a glimpse of
the soul dimension because, according to the doctor who
diagnosed her illness, without immediate treatment Julie
had only a week left to live.

At the time Julie told me of this experience, however,

all I could think of was a similar incident when she was
about 9 or 10 years old. She had a friend over and they both
were sitting at the kitchen table while I fixed a snack for
them. Suddenly, Julie jumped up to get something from a
cabinet and accidentally hit her elbow on the microwave
oven. The next moment, to my shock and horror, she started
crumpling to the floor with her eyes closed. I yelled to the
friend to call 911 as I carried Julie to a sofa and revived her.

The emergency crew arrived within two minutes and

found nothing wrong with her. They concluded that she
must have hit a nerve in her elbow and blacked out. Julie had
fainted only for a minute or two, but later she told me she
 69

had a beautiful “dream” in which she was swimming in slow

motion and feeling very happy. I knew nothing of NDEs or
other visionary experiences then, and simply felt glad that
even while I was so panicked, Julie herself had been at peace.

I reminded Julie of this incident from many years ago, and

she told me that there had been one more similar incident
only two years earlier, when she had fainted while having
coffee with a friend for no other reason than being very
tired. Julie said she had not told me of this so as not to worry
me, especially as the experience had been very beautiful and
peaceful. We both concluded that Julie somehow got into a
euphoric dream state when she fainted.

But now, after all my reading about NDEs and mystical

experiences, it appears that Julie was moving toward the
spirit dimension whenever she fainted. This is why the
experience was beautiful and peaceful, just as NDErs report;
but each time she was there too briefly to sense anything
more about the soul world.

Neither Julie nor I recalled these experiences in sharing

and talking about the dreams the nurses’ aide and I had. Still,
at this final stage of her illness, Julie kept thinking of our
dream imagery. But as she lay weak and helpless in the
hospital bed, she could not imagine feeling as strong as we
had seen her in our dreams. In fact, she smiled and said, “It
would be easier if a horse could carry me out of here, Mom,
because I don’t think I can run and jump.”
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That night in the dark

hospital room as she slept,
I drew a picture on her
hospital whiteboard—
a strong, vibrant Julie,
riding a horse, with her
long tresses flying behind
her. Angels must have
helped me draw as I could
barely see in the darkened
room and yet the simple
picture drawn in a few
strokes captured all I
wanted to portray from
my heart.

When Julie saw the drawing in the morning, she loved it

and thanked me for making her look so strong and happy.
She commented on how straight the rider’s back was and
how strong her legs looked, none of which I had consciously
thought about while drawing. But to someone who used to
be physically strong and vibrant and now was so close to
dying, the picture was inspiring. She gazed at it intently in
the next few days which were her last here on earth.

In those last sad days, Julie was not awake for very long
each day, but she used that time to plan her memorial and all
such details that no one wishes on a young person, least of
all your own child. She gave careful consideration to
 71

everything and made brave and good decisions. She decided

she wanted to be cremated and have her ashes immersed in
any beautiful body of water that was meaningful to us. That
way she would be one with nature and yet be a part of those
who loved her. She chose the Carter Center for her memorial
service which was perfect in symbolism as it stands for
world peace and harmony. She wanted the service to be a
joyful event where we all remembered and shared our
happy memories of Julie; what her being here meant to us.

And to the end Julie thought of others. She planned what

each friend should get in her remembrance. She even
thought of people with severe hardships. Julie had always
reached out to those in need. She thought about all the
places she had volunteered and wondered whom to name
as the beneficiary of donations made in her memory.

She kept coming back to her memories of the blind girls in

India. Julie remembered how eager these little girls were to
make the best of the life they had and how happily they
accepted their blindness and reached with love to everyone
they encountered. So, a few days before her transition, after
carefully considering all possible charities, Julie decided to
ask that donations be made for these brave, blind girls in
India in lieu of flowers at her memorial service.

Julie wanted to leave on her journey before her birthday

which was that week. She said, “If I’m not going to live as a
23 year old, why celebrate that birthday?” She said all her
goodbyes on the eve of her birthday. She assured my mother
 72

she would meet her in heaven when it was her time. She told
me she was sorry she had caused me so much pain through
her suffering and from the loss of my beloved daughter. She
admitted she could not imagine what that was like but
assured me she would always be with me. She repeated her
earlier promise, saying, “I’ll be your little guardian angel,
always looking over your shoulder.” Earl promised Julie he
would take good care of me. She absorbed that quietly for a
moment, and then uncharacteristically asked him to repeat
it. He did, and she smiled, satisfied.

Later that day, as I sat next to her and stroked her head,
Julie suddenly turned around, looked directly at me and said,
“I want you to think about my life, why I was here, and what
my being here meant to you.” I kissed her and promised to
do so. It was an easy promise to make. I knew instinctively
that I would, even without Julie’s asking, ponder the full
implications of these issues for the rest of my life.

But at another level, the answers were easy. What was the
essence of her life? She touched so many people with love and
caring. Everyone she knew loved her, in their own way. She
did a great deal of good for many in her short life. Why was
she here? She was here to touch all these lives, but mainly
mine. Despite all the worries she caused me by her smoking,
she brought me so much happiness and abundant love, that
I am filled with joy just thinking of her. What has her being
here meant to me? Someone once said that I talked so well on
so many topics but my eyes really lit up when I talked about
 73

my daughter. I never forgot that lovely compliment; it

summarized what Julie meant to me and still does.

The nurses had explained to us earlier that people in

Julie’s condition typically went into a coma for a week or so
before dying. So despite our sad yet beautiful goodbyes on
the eve of her birthday, we did not really expect Julie to be
gone the next day. When her birthday dawned, we wished
her gently as she woke up; but Julie was distressed. She
moaned, “No, please, I’m ready to go,” and started going
back to sleep. I kissed her and she smiled in return as she
promptly fell asleep.

To our sadness, Julie never woke up. She slipped into a

coma and died two days later. The short span of those two
days was a very sad time for us. We had been told that the
comatose state could last for two weeks and it was difficult
to imagine what Julie was going through. And yet, it turned
out to be a time of incredible connections.

The day after Julie’s birthday, her bladder had become

overfull and the nurses were talking about inserting a
catheter. I could not stand the thought of more pain for my
beloved Julie, especially when she could not be forewarned.
I also physically felt her discomfort as I was sure she was
holding back so as not to wet the bed. So I lay near her, held
her close, and softly said, “It’s okay to go to the bathroom,
I know you need to.” There was an immediate release of the
urine my poor child had been holding back, but the next
moment a sharp intake of her breath and holding back again,
 74

as she was surprised and confused at wetting the bed,

even in her comatose state.

I immediately said, “It’s okay, you’re doing the right

thing,” and instantly I felt her relax completely, trusting
me with her heart, as we both got soaked. I felt so peaceful,
laying there holding her, feeling her peace and comfort as
deeply as if it was truly mine. We were transcending the
physical world that was so tenuous, we were of the spirit—
the wet bedclothes did not matter. Julie would be leaving
soon and the physical dimension felt strange already.

Sadly, after I changed my clothes, and the nurses and I

changed Julie’s clothes and her bed linen, they insisted we
needed to insert a catheter now anyway. I tried to argue that
we could use a bed pan for her and I could help Julie the way
I had just done. But they argued back that she could be in a
coma for two weeks, and when I still resisted, they assured
me they would do it gently. But the task itself is so intrusive
that even though I was holding Julie, she cried out in pain as
they started to insert the catheter. I immediately showered
her with kisses, saying it was okay, it would be fine, and Julie
relaxed completely and it was done.

I held her for a long time afterwards, more for me than

for her, as her cry of pain still tore through me. But later, on
reflection, I realized that my holding her helped Julie too.
Being in a comatose state, cut off from the type of contact we
are accustomed to in our waking state, every touch and
spoken word from a loved one can bring tremendous relief.
 75

My only regret is that I did not talk more to my Julie

during her coma. Only in hindsight did I comprehend how
perfectly Julie understood me throughout this incident and
how I was able to communicate to her through words and
touch, and to soothe her. And in turn, her reacting so
strongly and immediately to me, gave me great comfort.

In one sense, there is no point in such regrets because I

have the chance now to talk to my Julie directly and as often
as I wish. But my advice to others who have loved ones in a
coma is to talk to them and hold them as long as you can. Tell
them it will be okay and that you love them. They are aware
of far more than we can imagine, and loving contact can help
the comatose person as well as their caregivers in important
and meaningful ways.

Later that same day, Earl sat quietly in Julie’s hospital

room wanting to give her strength through his projected
energy as he had done several times before when she had
been asleep. No one dropped in this time. Whereas many
people had stopped by to wish her on the morning of her
birthday, only to be saddened to find her in a coma, very
few came by that evening or the next day.

Earl closed his eyes and focused on projecting love

toward Julie. He visualized his energy moving toward Julie to
give her much needed strength in this final, weakened phase
of her illness, when all of a sudden he felt a powerful surge of
energy radiating from Julie meet and merge with his energy
 76

and come flooding back to him, filling him with love and
peace. Earl was truly moved by the experience. Although
the whole thing was beyond my perceptual comprehension,
I was greatly touched to hear of it as well.

It was our first real comprehension that Julie’s soul was

already at a very high level, and that she was able to sense
energy and love and return it in a magnified form even
during, or perhaps because of, her comatose state. It gave us
further understanding of a different level of consciousness
during a coma that is much closer to the abilities of souls in
the spirit dimension.

A woman has written of sitting with her two sisters near

their mother who was in a coma, holding her hand, and
talking to her. She recalled that her mother’s heart monitor
fluctuated whenever one of her daughters came in or left the
room and they could sense that she was aware of everything
but sadly she could not communicate. But one night she
connected with all three daughters in a dream which they
received simultaneously. In the dream, as each daughter
bent to kiss the mother, her eyes popped open. It was a scary
dream that woke them, and as they shared the dream, they
realized that the mother wanted to leave. The next morning
they went to her and said goodbye, saw her face relax, and
she died soon after. (Browning, Feathers, 244-247.) The fact
that the mother could give all of them this dream in her
coma shows the power of the spirit in the comatose state.
 77

That same evening after Earl’s and my separate

experiences with Julie in her comatose state, the healer who
had visited Julie earlier called the friend who had brought
her to the hospital. She told him that higher-level souls often
transition on the night of a full moon, a particularly spiritual
phase, and as a full moon was expected that night, he should
convey this information to us so we would be prepared.

When this young man shared the healer’s message with

my mother, Earl, and me, our emotions ran intense and
mixed. To lose Julie that very night was unthinkable. Yet,
we did not want her to remain in a coma when there was
no hope for her physical survival. So we thought this idea
made sense; Julie would most likely choose to leave that
night. With this in mind, we arranged for a few of Julie’s
closest friends, the only ones still hanging around the
hospital, including this young man of course, to join us in a
circle of prayer over Julie’s comatose body. All of us stood
around Julie’s bed and prayed for her soul to be free and to
go to the divine Light. We wished her a happy and peaceful
journey and said she would always be in our hearts.

Later, after the friends left, my mother told me that it was

important that I say goodbye to Julie. Several people had told
her to convey this to me based on their personal experiences
that the departing soul often will not leave until the person
dearest and closest to them has said goodbye. My first
reaction was that I had already said goodbye to Julie before
she became comatose. But Earl asked me if I had truly meant
it. On deep introspection, I realized that, incredible as it may
 78

sound, I had still been hoping for a reprieve, a last-minute

miracle, when I said goodbye to Julie just two days ago. So
I had not really let go. The thought that she may continue in
her comatose state so needlessly, especially if she preferred
to transition at full moon, made me decide to say goodbye
again to Julie, this time truly letting her go.

We planned that Earl and my mother would also stay

overnight at the hospital. The nurses kindly arranged for my
mother to sleep on a sofa in the waiting room, and for Earl to
sleep on a sleeping bag in the laundry room. Each of them
spent a few minutes alone with Julie, praying for her soul,
and then both left for their respective “beds” on the other
side of the hospital suite from Julie’s room.

Alone with Julie, I lay beside her and held her close. I
prayed for her soul to be with the divine Light and to always
be happy and peaceful. Then I steeled my heart and gently
whispered, “Julie, it’s okay to leave.” To my consternation,
Julie got quite perturbed and started moving about and
moaning. I instantly said, “Darling, I don’t mean this minute.
You decide when you’re ready to go. It’s just that I’m now
saying goodbye from my heart.” Julie was peaceful at once
and her whole body relaxed. I was grateful to see how calm
she looked, and sat next to her for a while. Then I lay down
close to her, but in my hospital chair-bed as I wanted to give
her space to do what she needed to do.

I lay awake watching her breathe regularly and evenly. I

was determined to stay awake even though I was mentally
 79

exhausted and physically drained. I could not imagine my

not being there for Julie as she transitioned. Yet, somehow,
watching my child’s rhythmic breathing, I fell asleep. I woke
up with a start about two hours later, jumped up, and in the
dim light, I thought I saw Julie still breathing. I was very
relieved and lay down again.

But then I felt as if someone was telling me Julie was gone.

I sat up, blinked several times, and looked again, and indeed
she was very still. The full, glorious moon was high in the sky
and shining brightly on her. Later, when I shared this image
with a friend, she said she could imagine Julie leaving on a
silvery beam of moonlight. Indeed, many friends and
relatives later said they associated the beauty of the full
moon with Julie, ever since they heard about the
circumstances of her transition.

Strangely, I felt very peaceful. I kissed Julie and called

Earl, who fetched my mother, and both came to Julie’s room.
They were anxious for me as they came into the room, but
when I told them I felt at peace, they admitted they felt
peaceful as well. We all prayed for Julie’s soul. Only in
hindsight did we realize that Julie, my father, and other
angels were creating the aura of incredible peace that we
felt at this sad time.

After we contacted other family members who in turn

contacted close friends, I began to feel remorse that I had
slept through Julie’s transition. After always being there for
her, I had fallen asleep at this critical moment. But Earl
 80

assured me that it was Julie’s gift. He pointed out that I had

told Julie to decide when to go and she had chosen to go
while I was asleep, so I would not be upset watching her take
her last breath. My mother agreed, and I too knew that Earl
was right. I also realized that Julie must have known that her
own transition would be more peaceful and her connection
to the spirit dimension smoother if I was asleep.

A nurse walked in while we were talking and said many

patients choose to go in the early morning just as Julie had
and at a time that the person closest to them was in the same
room, but asleep. Her volunteering this information just
after we discussed it was very comforting. She could not
possibly have overheard us as we had been talking very
softly, so as not to disturb the patients in the adjoining
rooms. Only later did we figure out that our angels had
inspired her to share this with us for further reassurance.

Two hospice nurses have written extensively about the

dying choosing their time of death. A dying man waited until
his grown daughter came over to spend the night so his wife
would have someone to comfort her. A dying mother
surrounded by loving family waited until her youngest
daughter who was estranged from her could come and tell
her all she had left unsaid to that point. A high school senior
was so concerned about her classmates missing school right
before exams that she planned to die on a Friday afternoon
and have the funeral on Sunday and did just that. (Callanan
and Kelley, Final Gifts, 192, 194, 204.)
 81

Others seem to want to die alone to spare anyone trauma

at the moment of their death. A young woman waited until
her parents left, her husband was out jogging, and even the
nurses were out of her room for a minute. Another dying
woman waited till the hospice nurse came over to the house
and was in another room talking to her beloved friend who
had been her caregiver. Many people, who had agonized for
years that their loved ones died precisely when these people
had stepped out of the room or gone home for a break, were
relieved to discover later that perhaps this timing was
planned by the dying. The timing of death in this way truly
can be viewed as a gift from the dying to their loved ones.
(Callanan and Kelley, Final Gifts, 197, 199, 210, 214.)

The next few hours were a blur. We went about getting

ready to go to the crematorium even as family members
came to the hospital to say goodbye to Julie. We planned the
memorial service for only two days later as several of Julie’s
friends were visiting from out of town and this would give
them a chance to attend. We tried not to think of life without
Julie. It was the only way to cope—to take one moment at a
time. To think of the future would be unbearable.

Someone told us that this was not just a night of the full
moon, but a special night when all the planets were aligned.
Apparently a full moon with perfectly aligned planets is a
rare event, considered extremely auspicious in India and
celebrated throughout the country. This information,
together with the idea conveyed to us by the American
healer that departing souls find the full moon to be a
 82

particularly spiritual phase, gave us comfort and solace. We

understood that despite Julie’s wish of not having another
birthday, her soul chose to wait and leave two days later,
on a full moon night considered special and auspicious by
many. Julie’s well-orchestrated timing to leave the physical
world during a uniquely spiritual time assured us in some
inexplicable way of the wisdom of her soul. In addition, by
going into a coma on her birthday, Julie was able to avoid her
birthday as well, just as she had so carefully planned.

Looking back on Julie’s illness and her transition, we are

grateful to everyone who prayed for Julie when she was ill,
who cheered her up or brought her food or books, and who
tried in their own ways to support her during her illness. We
are also grateful to every individual who commemorated
Julie in his or her own way—making donations for the
charity she selected, planting a tree in her name, arranging a
memorial candle walk, and so on. We cherish them all for
loving Julie, but it was Julie herself who helped us begin to
overcome our grief and start to heal.

As we sat in the crematorium near Julie’s body before it

was to be cremated, we prayed for her soul in our minds
and hearts. At one point I felt so drained with what was
happening that I started to sink slowly to my right and
immediately I felt an invisible force that kept me from
falling. I assumed it was my father or other angels and was
grateful. Summoning up the energy to stand, I walked over
to kiss Julie’s cheek for the last time, but it was so cold that
I realized this was not my beloved Julie any more, and
 83

wondered if it was her spirit supporting me a minute ago.

I was not sure, it was all so new.

We were told that the cremation would take four to five

hours and that the obituary had to be written and sent right
away to appear in the next day’s paper. As Julie’s memorial
service was to be two days after the day of her transition, we
had to hurry to write the obituary even though we wanted to
stay by “her side” during the cremation. We decided to write
it quickly and get back to the crematorium in time. But we
also had to get something to eat. We had not eaten breakfast
and now it was lunch time. In spite of our grief, we found
that we were mortals still, totally worn out, and needed
basic replenishment.

So I made sure the attendants would not remove the rich

green blanket I had placed lovingly on Julie, and told them
we would be back very soon. The blanket tucked under her
beautiful face (framed by short, soft hair that had grown
back in her final month) made her look as if she was merely
asleep. That image comforted me by representing somehow
that she was still held in my loving arms. We hurriedly got
some food, brought it back to the funeral parlor, and worked
on the obituary in an upstairs conference room. We made
sure the obituary did justice to our beloved Julie, trying not
to think of how strange it was to write an obituary for your
child. We got back downstairs to the crematorium in less
than two hours from the time we had left.
 84

We were shocked to hear that the cremation was finished

already and we were shown where the ashes were kept in a
box on a beautiful table. To think that all that remained of
my child was in a box was inconceivable. I picked it up and
sat on a bench with the box in my lap, Earl and my mother
on either side of me, and sobbed my heart out. I truly felt we
had let Julie down by not being “with her” at this critical
time. My mother and Earl hugged me and tried to console me
but I could not hear them. I could feel the hot ashes in my lap
through the box and I felt cheated that I was not there for
Julie at such a time. If only we had known it would take two
hours instead of four or five, we could have waited to write
the obituary later, we would have stayed by her side.

And then I felt the warmth of the ashes spread through

my lap to my whole body and suddenly I was calm and
peaceful. Earl and my mother sensed the change in me and
I told them what I felt. We all instinctively thanked Julie
without fully realizing that her spirit was right there with us.
I felt certain that the speed of the cremation was Julie’s gift
to me just as she had done in timing her transition to spare
me any trauma. I realized how painful it would have been to
be in the room next to where her cremation was taking
place. I would have sat there for two hours and could not
have helped imagining what was going on in the next room,
and the horrible imagery of her gradual cremation would
have stayed with and tormented me forever. This was Julie’s
thoughtful and compassionate way to avoid that entire
trauma. I shared these thoughts with Earl and my mother
 85

and they agreed completely. Julie had given me yet another

wondrous gift of love.

Two weeks later came the painful task of immersing the

ashes. Until then I had at least some tangible part of Julie’s
actual physical presence still with me, and had kissed her
box of ashes and placed fresh flowers on it every day. But
now I had to give it up, return her to nature as she wished.
We had picked the immersion spot as the ocean off beautiful
Jekyll Island where we had taken Julie during her first
remission and where she had gone as a child for a 4-H school
trip. We rented a boat and the captain took us a mile or so off
the coast and stopped. We immersed Julie’s ashes, scattered
rose petals on the water, and prayed for Julie’s soul.

Just before immersing the ashes I had felt so much pain

that I was not even aware that Earl was tightly holding on to
me, apparently afraid I would lose my balance and fall in, as
he later told me. But right after immersing the ashes I felt so
peaceful it is hard to explain. I looked out at the ocean and
imagined a giant image of Julie filling the vista swimming
happily. As I mentioned before, Julie had always loved
swimming and was as graceful as a mermaid. She swam with
her eyes wide open under water and wore a big smile,
looking like a beautiful, wholesome Esther Williams in her
countless movies involving underwater scenes. I had taken
many pictures of Julie swimming and recalled my favorite
image but just made it huge so it filled my vision. I realized
that I no longer had to imagine Julie to be restricted to
 86

human size—she was larger than life! Earl and my mother

were very happy to hear of this experience.

As we settled down to life without Julie in our physical

dimension, there was still much grief to process, and many
tears to shed. But we believed so strongly that Julie was
happy and free, and always connected to us even without
our awareness, that we were able to go on despite the
heartache. Earl’s understanding and support to me were
immeasurable. He also kept reminding me to not think of
the years ahead but to take it one day at a time. My mother
stayed on and we all helped each other.

Some of Julie’s early spirit communications (see Chapter

5) were given when all three of us were present but I also
received messages when I was alone. Sharing these with Earl
and my mother helped tremendously in my healing process.
My joy and amazement were mirrored in their faces and
their expressed words. Also, if my mother related an unusual
incident that she witnessed, either Earl or I would point out
that it seemed as if Julie had arranged it and this helped my
mother understand the extent of Julie’s help to all of us.

Despite the first few wondrous spirit communications

from Julie, I was still deeply grieving. One day, when I talked
of my continuing sadness, Earl quietly said that we would be
sad for the rest of our lives, but that we would make it, and
all of us would be together again. We both agreed that it was
okay to be sad until we met Julie again.
 87

But Julie had different plans for us—she continued to give

us numerous signs to reflect her eternal closeness to us. Her
loving messages across dimensions have helped us heal and
learn about the soul world. Best of all, they have allowed us
to stay joyfully connected to our beloved Julie.

In my reading about after-death communications (ADCs),

I saw how difficult it is for many people to deal with such
contacts for fear of being misunderstood by family. (Devers,
Goodbye Again, 80, 102-110.) Others find it difficult to accept
ADCs because they are outside their belief systems, whether
religious or scientific. Justin Matott, an avid gardener, wrote
that when his mother’s spirit first started visiting him in his
garden, he found it “an effort to communicate, because of the
usual doubt and conditioning we mere mortals, with our
limited understanding of the enormity surrounding us,
possess.” (Matott, Garden Visits, 88.)

We were fortunate that Julie, Earl, and I had many

discussions about the spirit dimension long before Julie
became ill. All three of us knew there was life before birth
as well as after death. In other words, we had what NDE
researcher Philip Berman calls an innate understanding that
we not only “go” to the spirit world when we die, but that we
“come” from this same realm when we are born. (Berman,
The Journey Home, 3.) So we knew in a deeper sense that
the soul dimension was our eternal home.

We also were aware that everyone has a group of eternal

soul mates beyond the traditional concept of a soul mate
 88

only as a spouse or lover. In addition, we understood that

guardian angels are our own soul mates, such as my father’s
spirit, watching over us and taking care of us for many years.

So, perhaps with this background, it was easier for us to

be more open to Julie’s amazing spirit communications. Yet,
we were completely unprepared for the stream of loving
messages that Julie would give us. It took us a while to
comprehend the rich variety and frequency of her loving
ADCs. I did my best to record these so I would have a history
of her love across dimensions. And later this record became
a source of rich material for this book.

Soon, our other soul mate angels (souls connected to us in

eternal love) began communicating with us. The details of
how we realized this are in the chapters that follow. The first
was my father, whom we called Papa. We do not know who
the other angels are, that is, we do not remember them in
this life. Perhaps they are other children we had planned to
have but did not, as well as grandchildren, who did not get to
come to earth this time.

The important thing is that Julie opened up the lines of

loving contact between us and our other soul mate angels,
and the messages from all of them have continued over time.
We are humbled and grateful for the wonder and magic of
Julie’s and all our angels’ sustained angelic communications,
which I call our “ongoing miracles.”
 89

Section II
Guardian Angels and Early Signs from Julie
 90

Chapter 4
My Father as Our Guardian Angel

Before I share the early spirit communications we

received from Julie, I need to go back in time, and explain my
father’s role as our guardian angel more fully. As mentioned
in the Preface, I was unaware for many years that Papa
watched over us until Earl pointed it out to me.

Soon after Earl and I met, I shared with him some strange
near-accidents I had, where I was mostly unhurt. I would get
into situations in which normally one would be terribly
hurt—but escaped unscathed. Twice, I had gone flying over
the handlebars of a bike after hitting a rock, and both times I
had the sensation of gliding and landing unhurt. Once, Julie
had witnessed my falling hard at home, and as she excitedly
reported, something seemed to catch me when I was very
near the floor and land me gently.

I did fall at other times and got hurt like anyone else. It
was only when something awful could have happened, that
it did not. Julie too was accident-prone but always escaped
serious injury. I considered both of us unusually lucky.

Earl assumed that I was aware that we were being

watched over by my father’s spirit but that had never
occurred to me. Much later, when I was recounting yet
another incident of avoiding serious harm, Earl said, “You
do know your father is watching over you, don’t you?” I was
surprised but delighted with this revelation and knew in my
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heart that it was true beyond a doubt. I was deeply grateful

to my father for saving me so many times.

I shared Earl’s insight with Julie and she was as thrilled as

I was. The three of us also realized that my father had played
a huge role in getting Earl and me together. Before getting to
the specifics of how he did this, it would help to provide
some background. As a divorced mother, my first priority
had been to take care of little Julie. My second objective was
to earn a doctorate, so I could conduct research, write, and
teach as I had always wanted to do. Earl had never married,
not having found the right person. He was a dedicated
scholar, devoted to his work.

After earning my Ph.D., I had job offers from multiple

universities, but I accepted the one that happened to be close
enough to Earl’s university. When Julie was older, I felt I
should now seriously look for a life partner for myself. At
about the same time, Earl had the urge to proactively search
for the right person for him. We both thought of using
personal ads to do this—except that Earl thought of placing
an ad and I thought of looking through ads, which was a
good way for us to find each other. Earl placed a beautifully
written ad (about being a writer who loved nature and
believed in eternal love). I easily picked his ad as the one to
answer and my message was the only one he received. He
called me, we met, and the rest is history.

Soon after we met, the editor of the newspaper contacted

Earl to apologize and said that something was wrong with
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Earl’s mailbox and they could not fix it. Several women had
called to complain that they were unable to leave a message
for this ad; but the newspaper editor could not figure out
what was wrong. He offered to connect Earl to these women
in a different way if he agreed. But Earl told him the ad had
served him well and he had already met his soul mate.

Later, when Earl enlightened me about my father’s being

my guardian angel, I felt sure Papa had blocked Earl’s
mailbox from receiving any more messages to ensure that
Earl would meet only me. Of course, it was not just the
blocking of the mailbox but the lead-up to it. The fact that
I accepted a job close to where Earl was working, that we
both thought seriously about searching for a life partner at
roughly the same time, we both decided to do this through
personal ads, and that Earl placed an ad while I looked
through ads, is all pretty astounding. Some might shrug
these off as coincidences, but those who are aware of angelic
help in our lives will understand how carefully everything
was orchestrated so that Earl and I could meet. The blocking
of the mailbox was the final step in achieving this.

After the three of us recognized my father’s role in

bringing Earl and me together, Julie and I thought back to
all the incidents in which we had escaped serious harm and
we thanked my father for watching over us. I have already
mentioned three instances briefly above, where Papa saved
me in miraculous ways. There were several similar
occasions. Julie too was saved miraculously numerous times.
She had many near-misses during sports practice for school.
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She was often hit hard with a ball, a bat, or something else,
but very closely avoided severe injuries every time.

We were also protected on road trips. I will share just one

of these occurrences here, because of its striking nature.
Julie and I had vacationed at a beach in Florida. On our
return we drove through Miami and stopped for gas.
Somehow it had not registered in my mind that we were
now in a high-crime area; I was still in a relaxed, beach-
vacation mindset. Julie went to use the restroom and I was
sitting in the driver’s seat with the car door wide open next
to a pump. My purse was close to the door, very visible and
accessible. I was about to get out to fill gas but had been
distracted by something in the passenger seat and so was in
this strange situation. I heard, and then saw, a car screeching
into the station, pulling up on the other side of the pump.
There were three wild-looking men inside and I sensed they
had a gun.

I was instantly afraid but even before I had time to react,

my car door was slammed shut and a man stood between my
car door and the other car, which immediately sped off. The
man then turned and looked at me and I got out of the car
and thanked him for his quick action. He said, “No problem,
but promise me you’ll be more vigilant in the future.” I
promised and he walked away toward the gas station. He
was an unassuming, middle-aged man and I guessed he was
the gas station manager. I was still a bit dazed because I had
not seen him walk out earlier and yet he was right near my
car exactly when I needed help.
 94

Aware now that we were in a high-crime neighborhood, I

quickly locked the car and went to meet Julie at the restroom
rather than letting her walk back alone. On the way I glanced
into the office and saw the manager attending to customers;
he did not look up at me and seemed busy. It was hard to
believe he had just been near my car and saved me from
harm. I told Julie the whole story as we walked back to the
car and got in. Julie thought, and I agreed, that a stranger
asking me to “promise” him something was rather weird.
Still, I took the promise seriously.

After understanding my father’s role as our guardian

angel, we realized that Papa had saved me at that gas station,
but we do not know how exactly he did this. He may have
prompted the manager to act or acted through him. In either
case, the man would have to be a good person who could be
inspired (or impelled) to take action. It is also possible that
my father simply created the manager’s likeness. This seems
the most probable because the man appeared so suddenly
near me at the precise moment I needed help. In this case,
the reason I saw him walk back was that I would have been
terribly startled if he had just disappeared. So my father
continued the illusion as long as I was looking. Whichever
way he did it, we recognized that it was my father who made
me promise to be more vigilant. I resolved even more firmly
to be vigilant and save him needless trouble in the future.

Papa also helped us when we were lost although we did

not know he was guiding us at the time. On a trip to the west
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coast, Julie and I had set out one day to visit a state park with
a beautiful waterfall. We took a detour on the way that
promised lovely views. While the views were wonderful,
there were many forks in the road without any signs or
street names and after a while I knew we were lost. My cell
phone was out of range and I wondered what to do. There
were no other cars or people to be seen. All of a sudden I felt
a burst of confidence, and drove decisively, taking one turn
after another without any rationale, sometimes to the left,
sometimes to the right, just trusting my instinct, and we
came out on the main road right near the falls entrance!
Only on recognizing his role as our guardian angel, did we
understand that my father had guided me through that maze
and brought us safely to just where we needed to be.

My father also gave Earl and me many gifts through

wildlife although we did not realize it at the time. But on
thinking back to what else might have been Papa’s angelic
help, we recalled that whenever Earl and I hiked, we saw
some wildlife appear very close to us, which neither of us
had experienced when hiking with others. It seemed so
unusual and we concluded that these were my father’s gifts.

A more obvious gift from my father occurred on our

wedding day. Earl and I had decided to get married in Hawaii
and had taken Julie and my mother along. We had rented a
condo close to the spot we had chosen for our wedding. That
morning, I walked out to the spot at the cliff’s edge where we
would shortly be married. As I gazed at the beautiful Hanalei
Bay, the mountains behind it, and the gorgeous blue sky,
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I thanked Papa for bringing Earl and me together and asked

for his blessings. Instantly a stunning, sky-spanning rainbow
appeared across the whole view and filled me with joy and
gratitude. Earl was delighted to hear of my wondrous
experience and grateful for my father’s palpable blessing.

After our return home, on our next hike, at one point on

our climb, Earl said, “I hope we see some wildlife.” Instantly
a deer appeared seemingly out of nowhere, stood still and
looked at us for a moment, and was gone. We both knew this
was definitely my father’s gift and thanked him.

Later, when we were in Puerto Rico for my conference,

we were walking on the hotel grounds and kept hearing the
very loud “ko-kee” sound that a native frog makes. The frog
is called koki to match the sound and we were curious to see
it. We kept hearing the sound echoing all around us but
could not spot the frog even though I scanned all the
vegetation near us. Then I said aloud, “I wish I could see it.”
The very next instant I saw the tiny red frog that was making
this huge sound sitting on a leaf only a foot from us. We had
not known it was so tiny or such a bright red color. But when
my wish was granted instantaneously, just as in the case of
the deer, we knew it was Papa’s gift. We watched the frog
happily for a few minutes before it hopped away.

In Chapter 2, I shared the many dreams Julie had which

urged her to quit smoking. Earl and I thought these were
definitely sent by my father. Julie unfortunately was not
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receptive to the idea at the time that her dreams were about
smoking or that smoking was seriously harming her.

Also in Chapter 2, I reported the commanding voice Julie

heard as she was waking up, which told her to seek
immediate medical help. Her visit to the acute care center
led to the discovery of her advanced cancer. Earl and I
realized it was my father’s spirit telling her to seek medical
attention. Late in her illness Julie acknowledged this as well.

During Julie’s horrible illness, my mother had two falls

which could have been devastating, but which thankfully
were not. Earl and I knew without doubt that my father had
saved her. Her first fall was one evening when my mother,
Earl, and I left the hospital to get dinner. As we were walking
in the parking lot at the restaurant, my mother suddenly
tripped and fell in a way that she could have been terribly
hurt. We were distressed but before we could act, a woman
appeared next to us, seemingly out of nowhere. She
identified herself as a nurse, quickly knelt down, felt my
mother’s head and neck, and said she was okay. We helped
my mother to her feet and I turned to thank the woman but
she was nowhere in sight. My mother did have a stiff neck
but it could have been a lot worse. Later, Earl and I discussed
what happened and wondered if my father had acted
through a kind person or whether he had shown up as the
nurse. In either case, we knew he had saved my mother.

In the other incident, my mother, Earl, and I were

standing on a sidewalk talking. My mother suddenly moved
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and inadvertently stepped off the sidewalk curb. As she

started crashing to the ground, I grabbed and held on to her
hand. I saw her spinning as she fell, with her head barely
missing the concrete, but she landed in a sitting position
with me still holding on to her hand. She was shaken but
unhurt and thanked me for saving her. But I had to admit
that although I was trying to pull her up and away from the
pavement as she was falling and spinning, I did not feel her
weight at all. In fact, I hardly felt her hand and knew that my
father had worked through me to save her.

In Chapter 2, I related the peaceful dream imagery I saw

repeatedly during Julie’s illness that I interpreted as her
recovery. It was only near the end that I realized that it
implied that even though Julie would not survive physically,
she and I would stay closely connected forever. I know this
too was sent by my father to try to prepare me.

And finally, in Chapter 3, I shared my dream image of the

white, glowing light shining on Julie two weeks before her
passing, and the dream in which she was prancing in a field
just a few days before her transition. I am sure both of these
were also given by my father to prepare me for what was
soon to come, and also to reassure me that Julie would be in
a good place and her soul would be happy and free.

We are extremely grateful that even after Julie’s transition

my father has continued his role as our guardian angel. But
these instances are in conjunction with Julie’s acting as our
guardian angel and so are discussed in Chapter 7.
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Chapter 5
Early Spirit Communications from Julie

The very first sign from Julie that we recognized was

through birds. This was shortly after her transition. We were
in a state of numbness driving from the hospital behind the
funeral home vehicle that contained her body, trying to
comprehend the painful task we were about to undertake.
Suddenly a huge flock of geese appeared from behind us and
flew over us and over the funeral home car in a perfect V
formation. We were very happy to see the geese and
intuitively knew Julie was telling us she was okay. We also
sensed that these beautiful birds in flight indicated the
boundless freedom of Julie’s newly released soul.

And then, an amazing thing happened. As the funeral car

ahead of us turned left, so did the birds veer left and in doing
so they formed a perfect “J” formation and moved ahead of
the car. We recognized that this was further confirmation
that Julie was telling us she was fine. The beautifully formed
“J” told us what Julie was capable of in the spirit dimension,
and the flight pattern of the geese going in the same
direction as us, but further ahead, indicated that she was
guiding us to where we were going, both literally and
figuratively. We were deeply moved and yet comforted by
this much needed sign of love and assurance from Julie.

One of the earliest signs Julie gave us of her heavenly

presence was through sunlight. We were at her memorial
service, a strange and sad experience for any parent. Earl
 100

and I had already spoken to the group and tried to express

what Julie meant to us. Now, a dear friend of hers was
speaking of Julie and what she meant to him. Much as I
appreciated this young man, I was distressed that he was
inadvertently standing precisely in front of Julie’s enlarged,
smiling photo, at which I had been gazing while others
spoke. I felt so utterly lost that I couldn’t “see” Julie and cried
out in my mind in anguish, “Where are you, Julie? I can’t see
you anymore.” Instantly, sunlight poured in from the
windows at the back of the room and in a long, golden finger
reached me where I was sitting, close to the foot of the dais.

The large group attending Julie’s service gasped as

everyone instinctively understood that Julie was present.
Many probably thought Julie was responding solely to the
young speaker; he certainly thought so, as he later told me.
But I knew what I had asked Julie with great pain and
urgency and how promptly she had responded. So I believe
Julie’s gift of sunlight represented both—a soothing and
instantaneous reply to my anguished plea and a heartfelt
return of her friend’s love for her. The occurrence was also
truly meaningful because it taught me not to look for Julie as
she was, but as she is now, pure, loving, golden energy.

Soon after Julie’s transition, her computer’s screen saver

showed the most beautiful images that we had never seen
before. They were not only brilliant, colorful, and dynamic,
there were lots of angel shapes, rays of light, and silhouettes
of mothers holding babies. I discovered these images when
I could not sleep due to my grief and was wandering through
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the house at night. I knew they represented Julie’s artistic

drawings and paintings and that she was telling us that she
was still very much with us. The images continued for a few
weeks and helped immensely in my healing.

At the sad time when we were saying goodbye to Julie,

Earl promised her that he would take good care of me, as
reported in Chapter 3. She had asked him to repeat it, and
smiled when he did. Very soon after her transition, she used
an opportunity to remind him of that promise. We were in
Jekyll Island staying at a hotel on a visit to undertake the
painful task of immersing Julie’s ashes in the ocean. My
mother and I were physically and emotionally exhausted in
the middle of the day. My mother took a nap in her room. In
our room at ground level, I rested on the hotel bed as Earl
sat in a chair reading. The sliding door was open for fresh air
and it was very peaceful. I had not planned to sleep but fell
asleep anyway. Not wanting to disturb me, Earl went to sit
outdoors and without thinking, sat some distance away from
the room where there were some poolside chairs, instead of
moving one closer to the room. He could see the room if he
looked up but someone could have slipped in if he had not
been looking. I woke briefly, saw he was not in the room,
assumed he was right outside, and drifted off to sleep again.

After a while Earl returned to the room to find the sliding

door closed. He thought I had woken and closed it, and he
went back to his chair. He came back a second time and the
door was closed still. He was surprised but he could see me
sleeping, so he did not try to slide it open for fear of waking
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me with the noise. He went back to the poolside chair and

waited patiently for me to wake up and open the door. When
I did wake up, the door was open and I as I went to it I was
very much surprised to see Earl sitting at such a distance
instead of close to the open door so he could keep an eye on
the room while I was asleep. I called out to him and he came
back to the room. He asked me whether I had shut the door
because it was noisy, or for security. I told him the door was
open; I had not shut it since I lay down. At first he found this
very hard to believe and insisted it had been shut.

I then asked him why he was sitting so far, from where he

could not closely watch the room with the open door, given
that I had fallen asleep so suddenly. That was when Earl
realized that Julie had created the illusion of the closed door
to make the point that he had promised to take good care of
me and in this case had not. We were both amazed that she
created such a remarkable illusion that he did not have the
slightest doubt that it was a solid door, even though he came
up fairly close to it twice, to see if I was still sleeping. He
never forgot his promise since that day and I am grateful to
him as well as to Julie for watching over me.

Soon after this incident, Julie gave us an amazing sign

through a plant. We had ordered a beautiful floral
arrangement for her memorial service and after it served
that purpose, we brought it home. It did well over the next
two weeks and gave us some comfort to gaze at it, as a
connection to Julie. We then left for Julie’s ashes immersion.
On our return, we were sad to see that the central stem of
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the lovely arrangement had completely dried up. I felt

particularly bad that I had misjudged how much to water it
before we left and my grief came flooding back. The next
morning, we were thrilled to see that the whole stem was
green again and covered with tiny green leaves. It was a
clear sign of rebirth and continuing life and its precious
meaning was not lost on my mother, Earl, and myself.

I had a remarkable, bittersweet dream in that first month

of grieving. An angelic, female voice sang as images changed
in my dream. My emotions went through a roller coaster as
the song and images flowed. The words, which I will never
forget, were:

--Here you are; the flower of my spring

Say goodbye, and love will last forever
--Here you are; the autumn at my feet,
Say goodbye, and love will last forever
--Here you are; the quiet of my dreams
Say hello, and love will last forever

The melody was simple but extremely moving. For the

interested reader, it was all in sharp notes on a high scale,
the same for each couplet:

Here you are the flo-wer of my spring

D C D C D C D C DD

Say good bye and love will last for e-ev-er

A G F C C C C C C D D
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The image for the first couplet was a young mother

lovingly holding a baby. I completely identified with the
mother and could recall holding my darling Julie as a baby
and how she filled my life with love and joy. When the voice
sang, “Say goodbye,” my heart broke, although the words
“love will last forever” were of great solace.

The image then changed to a ground covered with

brilliant autumn leaves that I was walking through. I was
confident that this time the second line of the couplet would
start with “Say hello.” I surmised that this meant that I would
die in the autumn of my life (rather than later, in the winter
of my life) and that Julie and I would be together fairly soon.
When the line started with “Say goodbye” here as well, my
heart broke a second time.

Then there was just a soft glow of light for the third
verse. The voice finally sang out “Say hello” and I was at
peace. I understood that I did not have to wait to die to be
with Julie. For one thing, she could connect to me through
dreams. I also comprehended that the reason Julie did not
use her own voice in this “dream song” is that the singer was
supposed to represent my feelings about Julie. So she created
a different, angelic voice. Moreover, repeating “Here you are”
(which referred to Julie) in every couplet brought home to
me with shining clarity that Julie was always “here,” with me,
even though I could not see her physically, and that she
would connect with me in a myriad different ways.
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But despite knowing this heartening fact, I still missed

Julie. Soon it was Valentine’s Day, and I sadly thought of how
Julie loved to make heart-shaped cards on this day but there
would be no more cards from her. I walked to my office at
home to write in my journal to Julie, as a way to connect with
her. But as soon as I stepped in the room, I was astonished to
see a silver balloon saying “I love you” and covered with
drawings of ladybugs and hearts, stuck to a bush near my
office window. I excitedly called Earl to see it. We realized
that someone must have lost their Valentine’s balloon and
Julie retrieved it and brought it to me. Earl went out to
bring it in and I still have it attached to a wall in my office.

The next week, Earl and I were walking in a park talking

about how much we missed Julie, when suddenly a beautiful
butterfly came straight toward us and brushed Earl’s cheek.
“That was Julie’s kiss,” Earl said. He was sure of it. I was
delighted to know she was with us on that walk and had
found such a lovely way to tell us. About a week later, in
similar circumstances, the same thing happened to me,
except that this butterfly came from the side and I did not
see it approach. I was startled and almost brushed it off, but
caught myself in time as I recognized Julie’s caress. We were
thrilled with Julie’s loving “butterfly kisses” and only later
did I recall a fun ritual related to this, that Julie and I had
engaged in when she was a child.

After coming home from school one day, little Julie had
hugged me and fluttered her eyelashes on my cheek, making
me laugh. She told me it was a “butterfly kiss.” I thought it
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was an apt name for that caress. This was the start of many
“butterfly kisses” between us. Never did I dream then that it
would come to have such a poignant meaning.

Sitting at our kitchen table soon after this, I sighed, “I miss

you, Julie.” Sunlight instantly appeared on the wall near me
in two artistically formed angelic shapes. One was taller and
had a head like a man’s and the other had long, flowing hair.
Both were angled as if they were flying. The image lasted for
a few seconds. I knew Julie was saying, “Your Angels, Papa
and Julie are with you.”

As related in Chapter 3, we formed a close and sacred

association between Julie and the moon, right after the full
moon shone brightly on her at her transition. Ever since,
simply seeing the moon, made us feel Julie’s presence. But
Julie did more to make it her special gift. In the first few
months, we would wake at night, just in time to see the
moon peek out from behind clouds through the transom.
We knew we were not awakened by the moonlight as it was
behind clouds when we woke up, and then Julie showed us
the moon emerging bright and beautiful, perfectly timed, as
a confirmation that this was her gift.

My mother experienced the same thing, first with us in

the U.S., and then after her return home to India. But one
night, she had a wondrous ADC from Julie that involved the
moon, clouds, and a magical picture. It started with my
mother feeling especially low on that night. She thought of
Julie and hoped she was okay. As she looked out the window,
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she saw the full moon peek from behind clouds as she had
experienced before and knew Julie was saying hello. But
for some reason, at this particular time, it did not lift my
mother’s spirits. She wondered if the peeking moon was
really Julie’s gift. To her amazement, the very next instant,
she saw a startlingly clear image on the clouds—it was the
exact drawing I had made on Julie’s hospital chart a few
days before her transition—a picture of a girl with flying
hair riding a horse (see Chapter 3). It lasted for more than a
minute. Gazing at it, my mother felt flooded with peace and
knew she did not have to worry about Julie’s well-being.

On the first Mother’s Day after Julie’s transition, I strongly

felt the need to be outdoors. But as we walked through a
pretty, wooded area, there was shade everywhere. I thought,
“How will we know if you’re with us, Julie?” At once, sunlight
streamed through the trees onto a little bush near us, which
had heart-shaped leaves. The leaves were upside down, with
the points near the ground and the curved parts attached to
the stems on top, which made them look like perfect hearts
suspended in the air. As they bobbed up and down in a
gentle breeze, lit up in the streaming sunlight, I was thrilled
to realize that Julie was saying, “Happy Mother’s Day, Mom!”

Soon, we had to go to the Netherlands where I was to

teach a doctoral seminar. I could not get out of it because it
was arranged long before and had already been postponed
once due to Julie’s illness. Even though we knew Julie was
fine in the spirit world, we missed her enormously and every
day was painful for me. Traveling increased our stress and
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sadness because Julie had always accompanied us on our

previous trips abroad.

While I was teaching, Earl went to the flower market

to look for flowers that he thought might comfort me. He
bought white hyacinths for their beauty and fragrance.
He did not know that when Julie was little I used to sing
“Edelweiss” to her and associated small, white, fragrant
flowers with my little Julie. I was very much moved and
knew Julie had guided his choice. That night, the fragrance
of the hyacinths suddenly filled our room and we both felt
Julie’s wonderful presence.

To our eternal gratitude, Julie’s remarkable spirit

communications have continued for years. But this chapter
is only about her early messages. So I share the highlights of
her ongoing spirit contact in the rest of the book.
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Chapter 6
My Spiritual Journey

My parents belonged to the upper social class in Mumbai.

Both were not typically Indian, but influenced by Western
culture—my mother in her homemaking and my father in
his extensive library. My mother’s religious views were more
traditionally Indian, but she respected all faiths. My father
was what I call spiritual—he believed in God but not in
religion. This view, as I discovered much later, is what many
near-death experiencers (NDErs) ascribe to, after their time
in the spirit dimension. (Dabholkar, Life Review: God’s Perfect
Plan, 14-16.)

I believe I came to earth remembering many lessons from

the spirit world. I was a loving child, honest and trusting,
happy to play and read by myself if no friends were around.
At age four, I asked my father if he believed in God, because I
had not seen him pray in the traditional way my mother did.
He told me he believed God represented the supreme energy
of the universe, and that religion was unimportant to God.
Even at that early age, I felt an affinity for these concepts,
and my mother graciously let me form my own ideas in this
regard. All of this was part of my spiritual journey.

As a teenager, I was focused on learning and felt great

love for my mother. My father had passed away and I had no
clue we were still connected and that he was watching over
us. In college, I met someone, who I hoped rather than
believed was the right person. We decided to get married
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and go to the U.S. for graduate studies. I had always loved

trees and flowers, but when I came to the U.S. as a young
adult, I developed an even stronger affinity for nature.

As a young mother, I wrote on the title page of Julie’s

first baby album that the 3 important “L”s of life were love,
learning, and laughter. So I did seem to know what was truly
important even at that time. Perhaps I had always known
this. But Julie’s coming to me as my baby certainly reminded
me how critical these three aspects were. She brought me so
much love and plenty of laughter. And she was as eager to
learn from me as I was eager to teach her.

But all through Julie’s childhood, my divorce, and my

working to earn a Ph.D., I did not really think about heaven,
except that it was somewhere we would all go eventually.
I did thank God daily for blessings and prayed for Julie’s
and my mother’s welfare. But I was totally unaware that
there were other souls in heaven who were deeply and
eternally connected with us.

It was only when Earl came into my life that I began to

think of the spirit dimension, as narrated in the Preface.
I was fascinated by the concept of multiple soul mates and of
planning earth lives while in heaven. But I thought mainly in
terms of applying this to Earl, Julie, and me at that time.

Later, when Earl enlightened me that my father was

watching over us, my view of the soul world expanded
considerably. I was delighted to know that Papa had been
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watching over us all these years and deeply grateful to him.

As related in Chapter 4, we reminisced about all the events
where he had obviously protected us. And when he gave us
special communications through a spectacular rainbow and
through wildlife, I was fascinated at how spirits could
connect with people on earth. But I did not comprehend that
such contacts could be frequent and ongoing.

When I realized that my father had given Julie warning

dreams and commanded her to seek medical care, it made
me understand how closely guardian angels watch over
people they love. When he saved my mother twice from
being hurt when she fell, this idea was reinforced. But I still
thought guardian angels would only help us at critical times.

So when Julie promised to be my guardian angel, it did

not alleviate my sadness because I thought we would lose all
contact with her except in emergencies. I did not recall then
how swiftly my father had responded to my wishes in giving
me gifts of a rainbow or wildlife. My view of the connection
between the physical and spirit worlds was still limited.

Soon after, when Julie had only a few days left on earth,
she asked me whether my father would meet her on her
transition, and how she would know him. I assured her he
would meet her and she should not worry because he knew
her. That comforted her. I did not realize at the time that
although Julie had not seen my father in this life, she already
knew him from the spirit dimension before our current lives.
After all, we are all eternal soul mates. Much later, it also
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dawned on me that before Julie came to earth as my baby,

she was my guardian angel along with my father, and so the
two of them had spent a lot of time together.

After Julie’s transition, we were consoled and heartened

by her early spirit communications, reported in Chapter 5.
I excitedly understood after receiving these messages, that
Julie would connect with us for the rest of our lives; that this
is what she meant when she said she would be with us
always, and not only as a guardian angel. I grasped that
constant connections between the dimensions are possible,
and also learned about the magical abilities of angels
through Julie’s communications. All of these were important
aspects of my spiritual journey.

But I still felt a bit lost because I could not understand

where exactly Julie was. As a devoted mother, I had
painstakingly researched every school or organization Julie
had attended before deciding that it would be a good place
for her. For the first time, I knew very little about the place
where she was. So I voraciously read all the scholarly
literature I could find about near-death experiences,
mystical experiences, and philosophy on life and death, to
gain an in-depth understanding of the spirit dimension.
This extensive research was a big part of my spiritual
journey. And based on my carefully acquired knowledge
over many years, I wrote books about the spirit dimension.
(See for example, my Life Review book mentioned above.)
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Early on, I also thought of writing books to share what I

had learned about guardian angels from magical experiences
with my father and Julie, and about ongoing spirit contact
from Julie’s (and other angels’) marvelous communications
across dimensions. My idea was to help bereaved people
become open to communications from their departed loved
ones or at least be comforted to know that their angels were
watching over them. I also wanted to enlighten those who
were not bereaved so they could learn about the spirit
dimension and know that soul mate angels they did not
remember in this life were watching over them. I worked on
these projects for years and wrote books on this knowledge
to help readers. (See for example, Dabholkar, Departed Loved
Ones Are Guardian Angels.)

The way I came across the literature on after-death

communications (ADCs), which became part of my research,
was through an ADC from Julie. While we were browsing in a
bookstore, I was looking at books on a particular shelf, when
I heard a book fall on the floor right behind me. I turned
around and there was no book on the floor though I had
distinctly heard one fall very close to me. But one book on
the shelf behind me looked like it had been pulled out a bit
from the stack and it was a book on ADCs. This was my first
introduction to the terminology as well as to the fact that
spirit communication was so widespread. I realized that Julie
wanted me to know that many people had received ADCs.

I then read numerous other books on ADCs to widen my

knowledge of the phenomenon. These books were part of my
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research rather than my healing. In my reading, I began to

notice similarities and differences with our own experience.
I noted that those who saw apparitions of their loved ones
typically only had that one ADC and then they went on with
their lives, comforted that their loved ones were fine. This
made me associate spirit visions with one-time ADCs.

Partly for that reason, I was grateful that we had not

received any visions and thanked Julie for this. Besides,
I already knew she was fine and did not need assurance
on that fact at all. Also, I thought visions could be rather
dramatic and somewhat startling. I much preferred the
gentle types of spirit communications Julie had given us so
far. I strongly felt in my heart that Julie felt exactly the same,
which is why she gave calm and tender messages. So, other
than not wanting a vision, I left the mode of contact entirely
up to her. It would then be up to me to learn to recognize the
different signs Julie chose to give and to understand that
these represented her presence just as strongly.

To my delight and eternal gratitude, my wish has been

granted. We did not receive any visions but are blessed to
receive ongoing spirit contacts from Julie, my father, and
other soul mate angels. These include telepathic messages
(to warn, help, enlighten, or cheer), spirit visitations
(through touch, smells, or sounds), dream visitations,
communications through objects, and messages through
birds, other wildlife, plants, sunlight, and rainbows. I have
included examples of all these communications in this book.
 115

As part of my research, I came across several books about

soldiers killed in World War I whose spirits communicated
with their families. Although I learned something from each
of these books, I was a bit disappointed that most of these
communications were made through mediums and not
directly to the bereaved. Also, the conversations seemed
focused on trivial things and on proving that the contacts
and communications were real. I found these books
interesting, but not inspiring.

One soldier’s story though was most inspiring. In a

dramatic communication, the spirit of an American soldier
killed in World War I contacted his mother through the
wireless, using Morse code. He had taught her the code when
he was young so they could have fun with it. On his death, he
informed her of this fact through the wireless before she had
official notification. (Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 2, 10-11.) I very
much liked the fact that he contacted her himself because
communications through mediums simply cannot duplicate
the joy and gratitude of being directly connected with our
departed loved ones.

I also appreciated other aspects of this story. First, the

soldier continued to stay connected with his mother through
telepathy and automatic writing. Second, he wanted her to
spread the word about spirit communications so that the
families of the other departed soldiers would be comforted
that their boys were still alive. (Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 12-
13, 28, 37-40.) Third, he often told his mother that their love
was eternal and that one day they would be together.
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(Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 29, 35, 40.) Reading this book
reinforced many things I had learned from Julie about the
spirit dimension and also added other ideas to my
knowledge, which I share later in this book.

One more step in my spiritual journey occurred early in

our healing process. I had wondered if continuing to connect
with us was holding Julie back in some way. There was no
question she was in heaven because of the enormous love
and magic she created in her messages. Still, I wanted to be
sure that her continued ties to us were not holding her back
from spiritual advancement. So I asked Julie this question in
my mind. Julie may have answered, but I did not hear it then.

Soon after, her answer came through in a complex way.

With a sudden urge to look for a special letter from Julie,
I unexpectedly came across a poem about the name “Julie,”
that she had copied from the original, and illustrated in her
artistic way. The heading of the poem was “Julie means light-
hearted” but now the paper was folded over so that what
showed was “Julie means light.” I instantly understood that
Julie was assuring me that she was in the divine Light, in no
way held back from spiritual growth. I was exceedingly
relieved with this affirming communication, even though
I had already known it in my heart.

But there was more to come. Later that day, while I was
checking emails, the computer screen suddenly moved to
incoming emails from some years ago. I almost re-set it to
new emails but stopped when I spotted an old email from
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Julie. I realized that she did this to tell me something, so I

quickly opened that email. Julie had written that I should not
worry if I couldn’t reach her by phone on any particular day
because “wherever I am, I’m always with you.”

I was overjoyed with this second half of the enlightening

and loving message in response to my original question.
It indicated to me that Julie was at a high level of spiritual
energy, and yet she could connect with us constantly. It
was not at all holding her back. In fact, perhaps she could
continue to stay in touch given her level in the spirit world
and her strong love connection with us.

This two-part communication reinforced to me that the

spirit dimension is not far away from our physical world, in
the sense that Julie can thrive as a higher-level soul, and yet
be close to us always. In other words, heaven is not a distant
place, as people tend to think. With such thoughtfully
arranged angelic reassurance, I stopped worrying and
welcomed with joy, gratitude, and love—the ongoing
miracles from our beloved Julie.
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Chapter 7
Guardian Angels

It is natural that most people believe that God has saved

them from something, especially when they feel they were
saved in a supernatural way. But the mystical and NDE
literatures suggest that God does not interfere in events on
earth (and instead allows life to play out as it will) because
everything, good and bad, is fully dealt with in the life review
process. (Dabholkar, Life Review: God’s Perfect Plan, passim.)
I also found a reference in my ADC reading supporting this
idea. The soldier killed in World War I, who communicated
with his mother through Morse code, told her that he and
other soldiers’ spirits were not supposed to do anything
drastic to alter the outcome of the war because “God does
not intervene.” (Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 67.)

At the same time, there is no question that departed loved

ones watch over us as guardian angels. Thankfully, that
seems permissible in God’s plan. The many examples in this
chapter from a wide variety of bereaved people (and some
who were not bereaved) provide ample evidence of guardian
angels, whether known or unknown to the recipient. But
first I would like to start with our own experience.

Guarding Us on Trips

I have already discussed my father’s role as our guardian

angel before and during Julie’s illness in Chapter 4. After
Julie’s transition, Julie joined him and ever since, both of
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them have acted as our guardian angels, probably with help

from other soul mate angels. I will share some striking
examples here, starting with travel.

One summer, Earl and I flew to Los Angeles to research

archival collections for our books on Gene Kelly musicals.
While there, we commuted to the various venues by bus. One
evening, returning from a library after a hard day’s work, the
only vacant seat was next to a homeless woman and I took it
mainly because I was exhausted but also because I did not
want her to think that people wanted to avoid her. We later
found out that many homeless people get on the L.A. buses
and the drivers simply ignore them and allow them to travel
free just to avoid scenes, which they often create.

As the bus moved, her bags on the floor fell against my

legs and I smiled at her as I gently moved them back so they
were standing upright as they were before. This sparked the
woman to fury and she rained an avalanche of blows on my
arm yelling, “Don’t touch my stuff!” I was amazed that while
I could see her hitting me and heard the loud sound of her
slaps, I did not feel a thing. I stood up and quickly told Earl,
who was standing close by, that I did not feel anything so he
would not be upset. I knew my father had saved me. I do not
know why I thought it was my father rather than Julie but
that is what I thought. Thinking of gentle Julie and my strong
father, I was perhaps extrapolating from the physical world.
Perhaps it was both of them. Then a man sitting across from
the woman rebuked her for her behavior and asked me if I
was okay. The woman kept quiet, fortunately. I thanked the
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man and said I was okay. I wondered then if Julie shielded

me and if my father made the man speak up to further
comfort me, or vice versa. In any case, I was truly grateful to
both our angels for saving me pain and taking care of me.

Another summer when I was teaching in Europe, we took

a road trip and almost ran out of gas not realizing that gas
stations there were so few and far apart. It was very late and
already getting dark when we found an unmanned gas
station at an exit that had nothing else. To our dismay, the
pump only accepted member cards. We were at a loss as to
what to do because it was out in the middle of nowhere with
no phones available to call anyone, even the police.

Just then, a car drove up with some rowdy teenaged boys,

adding to our alarm. I prayed to our angels for help. Almost
at once, while three of the boys continued to be boisterous,
the fourth one looked at us and smiled. We immediately
went up to him and asked if we could use his membership
card to fill gas and pay him in cash. He hesitated, but then
agreed, and we filled enough gas to get back to the hotel.

Our angels have also kept us safe on road trips in the U.S.
We took two long journeys with our car vibrating, not
realizing that this meant that the outer rim of a tire was
peeling off and could cause a serious accident. Our guardian
angels kept us safe throughout until we finally figured it out.
The people at the tire shop could not believe we had driven
as much as we did with that tire without experiencing a
blowout.
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Warning of Physical Danger through Telepathy

In my first instance of telepathy from Julie’s spirit, I regret

to say I did not fully believe the message. Earl and I were
doing some long overdue work in the yard and I heard a
voice in my mind saying, “Julie says if you step back, you will
be bitten in the calf by a snake.” I felt it really was Julie, but
at the same time, it was not her voice, more like my own
thought, and the message sounded far-fetched. So I decided
it was not real. Somewhat defensively I stepped back,
confident there was no snake waiting to bite me. I cried out
in pain as a sharp twig made a gash in my calf.

I realized that Julie was trying to warn me telepathically

but somehow the words got jumbled up in my mind. The
message that I would be hurt in my calf if I stepped back
was proven to be absolutely correct, much to my chagrin.
But how I would be hurt is the part that did not come
through clearly, possibly because the experience was new to
me. I decided to pay attention to the heart of the message in
the future and not judge it by any superfluous content that
could be distorted by my lack of focused attention.

Physicist (and physician) Regis Dutheil has explained that

telepathic messages and inspiration from “a superluminal
consciousness” [high-level spirit] to a person take place
when some information goes “past the filters in the
receiver’s cortex” [brain] allowing “momentary and partial
access” to what was conveyed. (Regis Dutheil interview in
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Valarino, On the Other Side of Life, 202, 225.) This may clarify
why the content of angelic messages, especially long ones,
may sometimes get a bit garbled in transmission.

Shortly after this incident, when I was driving on campus,

I suddenly heard “Glass in the street” in my mind. I looked
ahead, saw nothing, and wondered about the message. As I
crested the hill, I saw that the lane I was in was covered with
broken glass just a few yards ahead. But I was able to quickly
switch lanes because I had been paying close attention to the
pavement after the message. I thanked Julie for watching
over me so closely and warning me telepathically. It was
interesting that she no longer prefaced the message with
“Julie says”; there was no need to do so after the first
instance. Also, making the message shorter seemed to help
me get all of it clearly.

Another time when I was driving on the Interstate, I

heard an urgent voice in my mind saying, “Go to the right!”
I did so immediately although there was no other car in sight
anywhere. The next instant a car came recklessly speeding
around the bend in the lane I had been in. I was grateful to
Julie that I was not in the way of that speeding vehicle and
also thankful to be spared being frightened by its sudden
appearance behind me.

After this, while walking on campus one day, I heard a

similar, urgent voice in my mind, saying, “Step to the right!”
But instead of doing this immediately as I had while driving,
I thought, “Why?” and continued on. I knew there could be
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no car speeding toward me on the sidewalk. The next

moment, a man walking toward me sneezed ferociously with
his mouth uncovered and I jumped to the right to avoid the
oncoming spray. I promised Julie I would not question her
directions again. It is still mind-boggling to me that Julie
anticipated the man’s sneeze, knew that he would not cover
his mouth (and that I would be in the path of that
approaching germ cloud), and warned me so quickly.

Julie has connected with me through telepathy in many

other instances, but these were not associated with physical
danger. So I discuss them in the next chapter on telepathic
help. Julie’s inspiration to us in projects is also discussed in
that chapter, because as Dutheil explained (see above), the
process of inspiration is akin to how telepathy works.

Catching Us When We Fall

Just to clarify, Earl and I do fall and get minor scrapes

and bruises like everyone else. And we have our share of
problems with our health, the house, the car, and work. Our
angels do not intervene in these cases. Everyone has to go
through life’s problems and deal with them. Angel protection
seems to be reserved for extraordinary circumstances.

In Chapter 4, I narrated two serious falls my mother had

during Julie’s illness where she was miraculously saved by
my father. Shortly after Julie’s transition to the spirit world, I
too had an experience that was clearly the work of guardian
angels. It was early in our grieving process. I got out of bed
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to get a glass of water. As I stood in the kitchen, I felt myself

fainting from fatigue and grief. The next thing I knew Earl
was asking me if I was okay as I lay flat on my back on the
floor in the utility room, off the kitchen, but pretty far from
where I had been standing. He thought he heard a noise and
had come there and found me in that position. I was unhurt
and did not even feel a bump on the back of my head. I knew
I had not walked to the utility room nor did I sink slowly to
the ground as I fainted. The only explanation was that Julie,
my father, and other angels had caught me as I began to
faint, moved me to where there was space to lie down, and
laid me down gently on the floor. Knowing how closely they
were watching over us, and the extent to which they went to
save us, helped us greatly in our healing process.

Another incident clearly attributable to angels occurred

when I went back to work a few months later. I was going
down the stairs after teaching a class. I had a stack of papers
in my arms and did not notice an ice cube on a step that
someone must have dropped from a drink. I stepped on it
and slipped right off the stairs. I was in mid-air for a second
about to crash down the flight of steps when I felt firm hands
on the front of my shoulders push me back so that I was
standing on the stairs again. I was shaken but overwhelmed
to have been saved again in such an amazing way.

Instances of our falling and not being hurt, or being

prevented from falling make one wonder how exactly angels
do this. One possibility is that they do indeed catch us (as we
might catch someone) and lay us down gently or put us on
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safer ground. This seems more likely to be the case when

I flew off my bike or was pushed back on the stairs.

Another possibility is that they “enter” us and slow our

fall. This explanation is backed by NDE reports. For example,
a five-year-old boy undergoing a medical procedure had an
out-of-body experience (OBE). His spirit “entered” his sister
at home and he saw events through her eyes before floating
to other parts of the house and back to the hospital. (Morse,
Closer to the Light, 153.) Another NDE report confirms that
spirits can “surround” or “enter” anything. A young man
who was drowning had an OBE and discovered that his
energy could surround or enter a tree or a rock, or whatever
he wished. (Ring, Lessons from the Light, 15.)

As a reinforcement of this idea, I came across two

incidents in my reading on ADCs. In one case, a man
undergoing surgery had an OBE and watched the spirits of
his uncle and mother “enter” the bodies of the surgeon and
chief nurse operating on him. His uncle had been the chief
surgeon in a hospital in Chicago and his mother a skilled
surgical nurse in New York. He could see their hands
superimposed on the doctor’s and nurse’s hands as the latter
continued the surgery unaware of this. (Cox-Chapman, The
Case for Heaven, 122-124.)

In the other case, a woman alone in a subway station was

approached by a sinister man. Suddenly she became aware
of her father’s presence and somehow felt he was inside her.
The man looked into her eyes and she saw startled fear in his
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eyes. He turned and walked away quickly to her relief.

(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 46.) It seems that her
father’s spirit entered her body and created a scary image
through her eyes to frighten the would-be assailant.

Applying this to our situation, Julie’s spirit might have

“entered” me when I was fainting and walked to the utility
room and lay down, and my father’s spirit could have
entered my arm when I held on to my mother as she fell
off the curb. I had known even then that my holding my
mother’s hand was necessary and then my father guided the
action. With the new insight I realized that his spirit might
have entered my hand (or body) and caught my mother’s
weight completely, which is why I did not feel it. It is all
fascinating to contemplate, but whichever way they do it,
we are deeply grateful for our angels’ wondrous help.

Finding Lost Objects

Julie has also helped me to find lost objects in a variety

of ways. One day I lost my keys at work right after there had
been a notice of break-ins in the building. I had reached class
when I realized this and prayed the keys would be found by
a good person. After class, I checked the restroom as a likely
place I might have left them and saw a notice from our own
department secretary about lost keys and that she had them.
Apparently she had gone to the restroom a minute after me
and found the keys. I knew Julie had prompted her to go
precisely at that time and left the rest to her.
 127

Once when we needed a major house repair, I looked

through several folders but did not find the name and
address of the contractor I was looking for. As I was putting
away the folders, an envelope fell out of one folder almost as
if someone was pulling a card out of a deck. The envelope
had the name and address I wanted scribbled on the back
and so I had completely missed it the first time.

On a trip to the Netherlands for my summer teaching,

we planned to visit Keukenhof in the last week of May. The
beautiful flower gardens there had a special place in our
hearts after our first visit. I was wondering what flowers
would be in bloom in late May because the previous time we
had gone there earlier. Unable to access the website, I pulled
out our folder on the earlier trip, but I could not find any
relevant information. Suddenly, the folder fell open to the
exact page where it said in small print that the gardens were
closed that week and completely dug up. I quickly changed
our plans and reservations, and even more importantly, felt
blessed and loved for such thoughtful angelic assistance.

Protecting Us from Other People

In Chapter 4, I related how my father protected me from

hoodlums at a Miami gas station. Earlier in this chapter,
I shared how Julie and my father protected me from the
homeless woman on a bus in Los Angeles who hit me
relentlessly on my arm. Both instances were amazing in
terms of guardian angel help to save me from physical harm.
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But there were also instances in which Julie shielded me

from emotional pain. In the first year after her transition,
Julie blocked thoughtlessly written emails that would have
deeply hurt me at such a tragic time. Some people told me a
few years later that they were surprised I did not respond to
their early emails. I told them I had never received these.
They then forwarded the emails and in each case they had
said something that I would have found devastating in the
first year. Even a few years later it shocked and saddened
me, but I could step back a bit and see that they just did not
know what to say when someone loses a child. I fully
understood why Julie had blocked these emails.

On an early visit to Jekyll Island when we were still very

much grieving, we planned one day to go to the Grand Dining
Room at the Jekyll Club Hotel to remind us of the time we
had lunched there with Julie. We decided to make it a special
lunch focused only on happy memories of Julie. But just as
we were ready to leave the hotel I felt unwell and needed to
rest a bit to regain my confidence. When I felt better and we
went downstairs, we realized we had forgotten something
and had to come back upstairs. This happened twice. We
found it all very odd. And as we drove to the restaurant, a car
suddenly pulled in front of us from a parking lot and then
drove considerably slower than the speed limit. We joked
that everything was conspiring to delay us so we would be
starving by the time we ordered lunch.

Finally, when we reached the parking area and I parked

the car and got out, the car keys fell out of my hand as if
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“flung” by someone and landed quite a distance away. I was

taken aback because I knew the keys had not fallen in a
natural way. It was as if someone hit them out of my hand.
I went forward to pick them up and as I stood up and turned
around from that spot, I saw someone, who had been very
negative while Julie was ill and after her transition, emerge
from another parking area closer to the hotel and shielded
from our view by bushes till then. As he walked toward the
entrance of the Grand Dining Room, I silently indicated him
to Earl, who immediately said, “Let’s go somewhere else for
lunch.” We realized then that Julie had carefully arranged all
the delays so we could avoid this person. Had we come
earlier we would have been eating when he walked in. Our
meeting would have been awkward and our special lunch
ruined. She had timed it very carefully so I would see him
going in and we could go elsewhere. But we arrived a few
seconds early, so she had to knock the keys from my hand to
create a further delay, so we would not run into him.

It was perfectly arranged down to the second. Moreover,

from the spot where I picked up the keys, I could see him
going in but he could not see us. We will never forget Julie’s
thoughtfulness and perseverance to go to such lengths to
shield us from an emotionally painful situation.

Guardian Angel Help Received by Others

Having shared stories of angel protection from our own

history in Chapter 4 and this one (along with some examples
from my reading where relevant), I will now turn to
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guardian angel stories people shared with me, or those I

came across in a variety of books. Just as my father brought
Earl and me together through a sequence of circumstances,
I learned of a similar scenario involving many steps. A
doctoral student told me that she was convinced that her
father’s spirit was watching over her because there was a
series of convoluted circumstances which led to her meeting
her future husband. She knew there could not be so many
coincidences and that someone was watching over her. She
realized it had to be her father, whose biggest worry before
he died had been whether she would marry a good person.

I came across another such story in my reading. A single

woman dreamed that a beautiful woman with long red hair
told her to place a personal ad in a certain newspaper, and
even told her how to word the ad. Later she dreamed of this
woman again and this time she told her to answer only the
typewritten response to her ad. The woman did so and met
the man of her dreams and they were soon married. In
looking through his albums she saw that the woman in her
dreams was the man’s first wife who had died. The couple
realized that this loving spirit had brought them together
and they continued to think of her as their guardian angel.
(Miller, Lewis, and Sander, eds., Heavenly Miracles, 14-17.)

Just as my father’s spirit had tried to give Julie warnings

about smoking through her dreams, I came across a
fascinating story of how a woman addicted to nicotine all
her life was helped by her parents’ spirits to overcome her
addiction. They contacted her through dream visitations and
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implored her to give up smoking. When she set a date to quit

but hesitated, they assured her, once again through dream
visitations, that they would help her quit. She awoke feeling
peaceful and strong which she had not felt for years and was
aware of her parents’ love surrounding her. Even so, she was
tempted to backslide and smoke just one cigarette, but now
her parents communicated with telepathy and stopped her.
They assured her that the cravings would pass and they
would stay with her till she got over it. She was conscious of
their warm presence until she got through the withdrawal
period and never had the urge to smoke again. (Miller,
Lewis, and Sander, eds., Heavenly Miracles, 132-136.)

I came across another case of guardian angels helping

through a dream, although the authors do not classify it this
way. A nine-year old girl, whose parents had not told her she
was dying, dreamed of a red brick house covered with ivy
and of men in gray suits taking her there. The mother was
emotionally overcome on hearing this dream because it
exactly described the funeral home where they had made
arrangements and which the girl had never seen. After some
thought and advice from their hospice nurse, the parents
decided to discuss death and dying with their daughter who
seemed to be thinking of it anyway. (Callanan and Kelley,
Final Gifts, 181.) I believe the dream was given to the girl by
her guardian angels to help open the dialogue about dying
between her and her parents.

Similar to Julie’s hearing my father’s voice telling her to

seek immediate medical help, I found other such examples.
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A departed father’s spirit telepathically told his son to call

his mother at once. The son did, and on hearing her sound
rather disoriented, he quickly called an ambulance. In
doing so, he saved his mother from a stroke. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 111.) In another case, a man
had a sinking feeling and heard a voice say, “It’s time to go to
the hospital.” Just like Julie first did, he argued with the
voice, “I’m not going.” The voice authoritatively said, “You’re
going.” So he went, and was immediately operated on for by-
pass surgery. (Cox-Chapman, The Case for Heaven, 121.)

Parallel to our own experiences, ADCs that protect the

receiver from an accident have occurred more commonly
than people imagine. Just as Julie warned me telepathically
to change lanes to avoid a speeding car, people have
received urgent telepathic ADCs while driving. Several
people have heard a departed loved one’s voice in their
minds telling them to slow down at once and it helped them
avoid accidents. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life,
2, 200; LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 123; Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 237.)

Sometimes an accident was unavoidable but guardian

angels saved their loved ones anyway. A woman who fell
asleep in the front passenger seat heard her mother’s voice
screaming to her to put her seatbelt on. She did so only to
crash the next moment, but ended up with minor injuries.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 19-20.) In another case,
when a woman’s car was rear-ended, it spun around and
landed on its side. Yet she was completely unhurt. Though
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she did have her seatbelt on, she recalled feeling held tightly
to her seat by what felt like arms. She knew her parents’
spirits had saved her life. (Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 121-122.)

Others have been saved when guardian angels made them

avoid dangerous roads. For example, a widow heard her
husband’s voice telling her to take a different route from the
one she had planned. She found out later that a bridge had
been washed out on the original route. (Devers, Goodbye
Again, 27.)

Many people have heard their departed loved ones’ voices

in their sleep which awakened them and saved them from
harm. A woman heard her father’s voice telling her to get out
of bed at once and this saved her from a tree that fell on her
roof and into her bedroom. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 242.)

A daughter with sleep apnea was woken gently by her

mother’s spirit saying a beloved nickname from her
childhood. The next day it dawned on her that she had gone
to bed without her breathing machine and had apparently
stopped breathing when her mother intervened and woke
her up. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 13-14.)

A couple woke up hearing the wife’s mother’s voice

urging them to go to the baby. They rushed to the crib to
find the baby turning blue as a blanket had worked its way
around his neck. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 168.)
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Other people have woken up hearing their departed loved

ones’ voices which saved them from intruders or house fires.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 126,
267; Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 144.)

The following stories relate to angel rescues or guidance

during disasters. In these examples, the rescued may have
realized that they were saved by guardian angels but they
did not know a personal connection. A woman heard her
name while she was in the Kansas City Hyatt Regency lobby
in 1981 and then heard “run.” She did and was saved from
the skywalk collapse that killed 114 people and injured 216.
(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 75.) In 1995, on his way to
work one day, a man debated whether to pick up his mail
first. He heard a voice saying, “Go to the office.” He did. His
mail was in the Federal building in Oklahoma City that was
bombed at that exact time, killing 167 people and injuring
759. (Cox-Chapman, The Case for Heaven, 107.)

People have heard unfamiliar voices telling them not to go

on a particular flight, which later crashed. Some have heard
voices they did not recognize telling them to take a different
route while driving and they were able to avoid flooding or
other dangerous situations. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 258-269.)

Sometimes, unknown angel voices have tried to save

people from making major life mistakes. For example, a
woman, pregnant by a man she did not love, and unsure
whether to marry him, asked in her mind right before the
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wedding, “Tell me what to do.” She heard a voice say, “No”

three times and later regretted that she did not heed it. (Cox-
Chapman, The Case for Heaven, 80.)

Guardian angels may cause delays through any possible

means to help their loved ones, just as Julie did to help us
avoid a negative person in our Jekyll Club Hotel incident.
This type of intervention might even save a life. For example,
a man was inexplicably overcome with nausea as the traffic
light changed to green and could not proceed. The next
instant he saw a car on the cross street run the red light and
realized that he would have been killed had he driven
through the intersection. Although the man did not
acknowledge this as a guardian angel intervention, the
author clearly saw it that way. (Morse, Parting Visions, 176.)

A student of mine had a similar experience. She was

driving in an area familiar to her when the music on the
radio was interrupted by a news bulletin of a horrific crash
that had just taken place only two blocks from where she
was. The announcer said the traffic was snarled for miles
and she found this surreal because she was now
approaching that intersection, and all was peaceful. In fact,
there was hardly any traffic around. As she stopped at the
traffic signal where the crash was supposed to have
occurred, she heard the announcer describing the car that
was demolished in the crash and it precisely matched the
description of her car down to its unusual markings. She was
stunned by this and could not advance when the light
changed to green. At once, a truck roared through on the
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cross street ignoring the red light and my student realized

she had been saved by guardian angels in an ingenious way.

Sometimes, angels might use physical force as ours did to

save me from falling when I slipped off the stairs at the
university. A journalist driving in a war zone was suddenly
pushed down in the car by an unseen force and missed a
sniper’s bullet through the windshield. He recognized that a
guardian angel had saved him and even wrote about his
angelic encounter. (Morse, Parting Visions, 177.) In all these
cases of people being protected by unfamiliar voices or
unknown guardian angels, we can assume they were saved
by their own soul mate angels.

Just as Julie has helped me find lost things, I came across

such examples in my reading. In the foreword to Browning’s
book, author Deepak Chopra writes that after his mother
died, the family could not find the title to her car. They
searched the car as well as the house with a fine-tooth comb
to no avail. After they gave up, they found the title on the
hood of her car where it definitely had not been before, and
they realized that his mother’s spirit had helped them.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, xxiv.)

A man who could not find his favorite hat complained

about it while in the hospital room of his dying wife. The
wife had always helped the man find his missing possessions
and told her daughter she wished she could help him find it
now. On the very day she died, the man reached into the
closet and found his hat where it certainly had not been
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before. The daughter was delighted that the mother was able
to help her father as soon as she transitioned. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 120.)

I came across three cases of departed parents saving their

daughters from evil strangers. In one, a woman left a fancy
shopping mall, and encountered two men near her car who
acted threateningly. Terrified, she fumbled with her car keys
and screamed at them to leave her alone. To her surprise, a
deep, booming voice emerged from her, which scared the
miscreants out of their wits and they ran away. The woman
knew without doubt that it was her mother’s spirit who
arranged this transformation of her voice; her mother had
always watched over her and fiercely protected her while on
earth as well. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 105-106.)
The second case is what I reported earlier in this chapter
wherein a woman at a subway station was saved from a
sinister man by her father’s spirit.

In the third instance, a woman had an ADC in a dream

that later helped save her from a dangerous situation. Before
she left for Hawaii the woman had a dream in which her
mother was drawing a map and anxiously explaining
something to her but she could not understand. Soon after
getting to Hawaii, the woman got lost in a bad neighborhood.
As ruffians menacingly approached her car, she saw the
dream map clearly in her mind and heard her mother’s voice
telling her to take the narrow lane. Even though the only
narrow lane she saw looked impassable she took it and
immediately connected to the well-populated main road. Her
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aunt later explained that her mother had grown up in that

very neighborhood and had often walked down that little
lane which at that time was a busy, short cut to the main
shopping area. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 164-
165.) The author does not say this, but this story (like many
others in this chapter) shows us that guardian angels have
precognition well before a particular event. They know if
something bad might happen to their loved ones in the
future and can take complex steps to prevent it.

There are cases of guardian angels helping loved ones

who were lost. A man, lost in the woods with his little son,
sensed his father’s spirit and then was able to find his way
back easily. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 134.) Another man lost
in fields covered with deep snow felt his father’s presence,
heard “welcome home,” and was able to reach home safely
and quickly. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 231.) These incidents are similar to Julie’s and my
experience when we were lost driving along a detour and
then subtly guided by my father (but without our knowledge
at the time) to get back to the main road.

There are also many stories of guardian angels healing

their loved ones. I shared one such story earlier in this
chapter about a man having an OBE who watched his uncle’s
and mother’s spirits superimposed on the surgeon and nurse
operating on him. Here are other such instances. A woman’s
fractured ankle was healed by her departed boyfriend in a
dream; on waking, it was truly healed. Another woman’s
father-in-law told her telepathically that he and other spirits
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had worked to heal her daughter from cancer. Indeed, the

daughter recovered completely. In some cases guardian
angels even prevented suicide or helped the receiver of the
communication to save someone else’s life. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 44, 259-284, 320-321;
Ring, Lessons From the Light, 175.)

Some of these stories make one wonder why more people

do not recover from serious illness or why more are not
saved from dying. Although they warn and help us, perhaps
guardian angels intervene to prevent someone’s dying only if
that person still has an important task left to do on earth.

I found some support for this idea in my research. The

soldier killed in World War I, who informed his mother of his
death through Morse code, also told her that he and other
soldiers’ spirits were mainly helping soldiers who had
recently crossed over. But in one case, they worked to save a
particular soldier from getting hit by bullets because he was
an inventor and had a significant contribution to make.
(Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 27-28.)

A Complex Instance of Protection from Our Angels

I end this chapter with an incident that could fit with the
earlier section “Guarding Us on Trips,” but I include it here
because of its extraordinary nature. On one particular road
trip we took with my mother, something flying out from
under another car hit our car. I asked Earl what he thought
and he said everything seemed fine. After that, several times
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the phrase “tire pressure” popped into my mind. I thought

we should have checked the tire pressure before we started.
Then suddenly the car started vibrating crazily. We knew
now that we had a flat tire and took the next exit. I realized
that Julie or my father had been trying to tell me about it
telepathically and I had misunderstood the exact message.

We stopped at a gas station and tried to call AAA but

could not get through. The tire was completely flat and the
tire wall was bulging dangerously. Earl was trying to get it
off and I was trying to help. My mother who was standing
near us suddenly said, “Ask that man for help,” pointing to a
young man, who was about to get into his SUV and drive off.
She said this in a firm voice, with such authority, that I
immediately crossed over to where he was. Seeing me
approach him so directly, he asked if anything was the
matter. I told him about the flat tire, and that we could not
get it off or get through to AAA. He very kindly came over
and tried to help but he could not get it off either. But then
he gave us a most useful piece of information. He said a small
tire store was just a block away and we could probably drive
there although the tire could blow out any minute. He
suggested we consider walking to the place and getting a
service guy to walk back with us.

We thanked him and after he left, decided to drive there

carefully ourselves, not knowing how long we would have to
wait for someone to walk back with us. We prayed to our
angels as Earl drove with extreme caution and we got there
safely. The tire people were amazed that we had driven on a
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tire in that condition without it exploding. They also said the

lug-nuts were cross-threaded which is why they would not
come off, another dangerous situation.

As we waited for the tire to be fixed and thanked our

angels, I asked my mother why she had spoken with such
authority. She said she had been wondering what to do,
when she had a clear thought that this young man needs to
be contacted. She resisted the thought because he was about
to leave and she did not think I could walk over to him from
the side of the parking lot in time. As she was looking around
for someone else (who was not about to leave), she got the
thought again and it was so compelling that she almost
ordered me to ask him for help, which was very unlike her.
Also, normally, if she had suggested that, I would have said,
“He’s about to leave. I’m not going to stop him. We can ask
someone else.” Instead, I instinctively obeyed and he turned
out to be a helpful, young man who gave us the best piece of
information to get us out of that bad situation. Not many
people at that gas station might have known of that obscure
tire store, so our angels made sure we contacted this person.

We thought back to how our angels tried to warn me

through telepathy; gave my mother a clear thought as to
which person could help us; made her command me to
contact him at once; ensured I would obey her without
hesitation so I could catch him in time; helped Earl to drive
carefully to the tire place; and kept the tire from exploding.
We were overwhelmed with gratitude for this remarkable,
sustained protection from our angels!
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Section III

Julie’s Ongoing Spirit Communications

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Chapter 8
Telepathic Messages to Help

I have already shared Julie’s telepathic messages to warn

of physical danger in Chapter 7. Instances of her telepathy
to enlighten us are discussed throughout the book. In this
chapter, I include Julie’s telepathic alerts when no physical
danger was involved, her communications through telepathy
just to make us smile, and her inspiration.

Telepathic Alerts

Julie has used telepathy to alert me to something in many

diverse situations. One day while proctoring a multiple-
choice exam, I was busy answering a student’s question and
did not notice that another student, who came up to drop off
her answer sheet, did not also drop off the exam as she was
supposed to. If students sneaked an exam out of the room,
it became a security issue as students from other sections
might be taking the same exam later. Suddenly I heard
“Exam?” in my mind and instinctively (but without
consciously realizing why) I repeated it aloud in the same
questioning tone. The student who was leaving came back
at once, pulled the exam out of her backpack, muttered
something about forgetting to turn it in, and left quickly.

The fact that the exam was in her backpack indicates that
it was not just forgetfulness, but I let it go because Julie had
stepped in and avoided a security issue. Since then I made it
a rule that only one student at a time could approach my
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desk during an exam whether to ask a question or to drop

the exam off. I did not want to trouble Julie unnecessarily.

We had a similar experience in Europe. One summer

while I was teaching in Europe, we decided to visit Paris by
rail for a couple of days. But I suspected that we might tire
of crowds and noise because we craved peace after Julie’s
transition. So I booked a hotel across from the Jardin du
Luxembourg so we could spend some quiet time there.
Indeed, we did get weary of long lines and noisy people after
seeing a few highlights of the city, and spent the rest of the
time in the gardens, admiring nature and feeding pigeons
and sparrows. But the trip almost had an inauspicious start,
which Julie prevented through telepathy.

The moment we stepped out of the railway station, we

were approached by a man who asked us if wanted a taxi.
We had read in the guide book that it is better to wait in the
taxi line to get a reliable driver and so we refused. As we
were waiting in line, I noticed that the pushy “taxi driver”
was now standing behind us. That did not make any sense
but I did not think further about it.

I suddenly heard “Wallet?” in my mind and repeated it

aloud instantly (as I had done with the exam incident.) Earl
immediately put his hand on his back pocket and the man
who had been standing very close behind him quickly moved
away and went off the line. We realized he was not a taxi
driver after all but a pickpocket who had followed us after
seeing Earl’s back pocket bulging with the wallet, and was
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waiting for an opportunity to pick it. We had read in the

guide books not to carry wallets in back pockets while in
Paris and I had reminded Earl, but had no idea that he had
chosen not to heed that. After this close call, he made sure
not to do this again. We were very grateful for Julie’s timely
telepathy that prevented hours of trouble as we dealt with
the loss of money, credit cards, IDs, and tickets.

Once, when I was standing at an intersection on campus

waiting to cross the street, I had a strong feeling that Julie
was trying to tell me something. But I was tired after
teaching, the intersection was busy with traffic, and I could
not concentrate. What finally came through was: “If someone
on the opposite sidewalk looked at you, what would they
see?” I looked down at myself and said, “I have no jacket on.”

This was on a day in the fall with cold mornings and

balmy afternoons and I had been oblivious to the fact that
I had left my jacket in the classroom. I have a feeling Julie
tried to simply say “Jacket?” but it did not get through
because I was tired and distracted. But it is amazing that
such a long message finally got through, possibly because it
was intriguing. I thanked Julie for her clever way to get the
idea across and walked back to retrieve my jacket.

Another time, I heard “bills” in my mind. I knew that the

due dates were two weeks off, so I ignored this “thought.”
But it kept repeating. I realized that Julie was trying to tell
me something related to bills, not necessarily about paying
them. Instinctively, I looked through the trash and found a
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bill I had inadvertently thrown away. I was grateful that Julie

helped me retrieve it before we took the trash out.

In a similar incident, when I had placed flower bulbs in a

dark closet off the garage, I kept hearing “bulbs” in my mind.
I was reluctant to take them out so soon because I had read
that flower bulbs needed three months of cold and dark to
bloom properly. But when the word kept repeating, I looked
in on the bulbs and was amazed to find that green stalks had
emerged after only a month. I brought them in, gave them
water and sunlight, and they did very well to my relief.

Once, while visiting Jekyll Island, Earl and I walked on

a beach which was not so familiar to us. We should have
been looking out for the boardwalk where we came in but
we were immersed in conversation. I was telling Earl about
an idea I had in the night related to an aspect of my writing
this book, Ongoing Miracles. Suddenly, I interrupted my own
animated talk to say, “We just passed our boardwalk.” I was
as surprised as Earl was, perhaps more so, because I had not
in the least been thinking about it. In fact, I immediately said,
“It can’t be; it’s too soon. Let’s keep walking.” But Earl was
tired and wanted to check. So we went back to look at the
boardwalk number and indeed it was where we had come in.
We were delighted that Julie made me say that so we would
not go further and exhaust poor Earl. It was not telepathy
like “Exam?” and “Wallet?” that I heard and then repeated.
Here Julie put a thought in my head and made me say it
without my realizing what I was saying. Perhaps she had to
do this because I was too engrossed in my own story-telling!
 147

Making Us Smile

Julie has also used telepathy on more than one occasion,

just to make us happy. Once, Earl and I watched a segment
on an old video because I wanted to share a funny part with
him that Julie and I had enjoyed. I did not remember
precisely what the humorous section was but had a vague
idea. We watched it eagerly but it was only mildly funny. As
I got up to take the video out, I heard in my mind: “There’s
more.” I was surprised but played it further and we were
delighted by a very funny sequence that followed, which I
had completely forgotten. We were touched that Julie was
using telepathy just to make us smile.

On a trip to Jekyll Island, Earl and I stopped at the Carter

Center, where we had held Julie’s memorial services. We
went to a pond to feed a Muscovy duck that was always near
that area when we visited. This time it was nowhere in sight
and I said to Earl, “It’s gone.” As we turned to go elsewhere
on the grounds, I heard a voice in my mind: “Is it?” I turned
back and saw the duck slowly emerging from bushes on the
opposite bank. We laughed and waited as it swam across the
pond and then fed it, thanking Julie for making us look again.

One day, after coming home from work, I was going

around the house opening windows to let in some fresh air.
I hesitated to open Earl’s office window. I knew he would be
home soon and might shut the window immediately for
privacy. On the one hand I wanted to air the room even if for
a short time but I also had a lot to do that evening. At that
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moment, my thoughts were interrupted with: “You’ll get a

reward.” I laughed and said, “Really? That’s pretty funny.”
I knew Julie had said something to me but thought I must
have misheard or misunderstood what she said. Still, I
went to Earl’s office, amused at the thought of a reward
for opening a window. As I opened his window, a female
hummingbird appeared close, right in front of me, and
stayed there as if held there for a minute or so. I was
delighted and thanked Julie for this lovely “reward.”

Another time when I was walking in the house, I heard

“You’ll see a heron” in my mind. I was thrilled, and even as
I thought, “But where?” I instinctively ran to Julie’s room and
looked out but there was no heron. I stood there, hesitant to
run all over the house, when a heron appeared low over the
roof and right over Julie’s window, flying slowly and
gracefully as I gazed at it in awe.

Julie has also popped the word “rainbow” into my mind

several times and then given us magical sightings of
rainbows. But I save these instances for Chapter 14.

Sometimes telepathy across dimensions does not

manifest as a thought but as an undeniable wish. When
visiting Jekyll Island and planning to go for a walk on the
beach in our early years of healing, I would get the urge to
go to a particular beach on the island. When we got there,
we would see a dolphin close to the shoreline or some other
wondrous sighting that would delight us.
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Also, while walking on the beach, I would get a strong

impulse to walk in a different direction or along the dunes
if we were walking near the ocean. Each time, we found a
message of love traced in the sand that we believe someone
else had written but that Julie wanted us to see. Most often
it was simply, “I love you!” Once when sightseeing on St.
Simons Island, I got a similar urge to take a particular back
street, and there on a fence was a large sign saying, “I love
you, Mom!” We were enchanted that Julie was directing me
to find these signs just to make us happy.

Inspiration

In addition to Julie’s telepathy, we experienced instances

of angelic inspiration in our two early co-authored projects.
In trying to adjust to Julie’s being gone from our physical
world, Earl and I wrote a screenplay called Time After Time.
It was a creative process that helped us tremendously in our
healing, even more so because we strongly felt Julie inspiring
us about aspects of the plot whenever we were stuck.

But when it was completed, I became sad again because

we had been very closely connected to Julie while writing it.
Then Earl felt Julie inspiring him that we should write a
second book and this one should be about dreams because of
the special connections we had with Julie in sharing dreams.

I thought it a terrific idea but Earl insisted that Julie had

inspired him and that it was her idea. We did write a second
book called Dreamer and felt even more closely connected
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with Julie while writing it. In fact, she inspired much of the
plot on a trip to Jekyll Island while I was resting and Earl
was driving. After dozing for about fifteen minutes, I shared
plot solutions with Earl for sections we had been struggling
with and he loved them. Interestingly, it was as if I was
thinking aloud and hearing it at the same time as Earl, so
we were even more convinced it was Julie’s inspiration.

Telepathic Messages Received by Others

I did not find any matching instances in my reading of

telepathic alerts (not related to physical danger), inspiration,
or messages just to make us smile. But there are many cases
of other types of telepathic messages in the ADC literature.

A frequent situation is to offer reassurance soon after the

passing. Bereaved people often hear their departed loved
ones’ voices in their minds assuring them that all is well. The
voices are always strong and happy even if the person was
very weak before they died. Typically, they say, “I love you”
or “I am fine, don’t worry about me.” Sometimes, they speak
at length and pass on messages to other loved ones, or even
give specific instructions about material things or health
related matters. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 31-43.)

In the cases mentioned above, the receivers reported that

the voices they heard sounded exactly like the departed
person’s voice and even used their idiosyncratic expressions
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or accents. It is obvious the departed wanted to ensure that

the bereaved knew it was them.

In other cases, as in our situation, it is not the departed

loved one’s voice that is heard. But the thoughts that are
received are clearly external, often interrupting one’s
own thoughts. This is similar to what NDErs report about
communication in the spirit dimension being telepathic, and
that all kinds of information simply popped into their minds.
(Ring, Heading Toward Omega, 54, 58; Ring, Lessons from the
Light, 16, 45, 224.) But in cases of telepathy to us by our
angels, it becomes clear through the interruption of one’s
thoughts as well as through the message itself, that it is
communication from a known, loved one.

Telepathic ADCs are also given to assuage ongoing grief. A

grieving daughter saw a beautiful shimmering light outside
her window. She realized it was her mother’s spirit when in
the next instant she received a telepathic thought saying the
mother was fine and the daughter would be too. (Devers,
Goodbye Again, 48.) A granddaughter was distraught that she
did not go to see her grandfather before he died. But the
grandfather’s spirit told her telepathically not to feel guilty
and that he would always be with her. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 203.)

Telepathy from departed loved ones also helps in

decisions, small or big. A bereaved daughter was debating
whether to sell her mother’s china and get something that
suited her own taste or to keep the china as a link to her
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mother. She heard her mother’s voice clearly in her head,

telling her to sell it and get what she wanted. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 121.) A woman making an
important decision about her son heard her departed
mother’s thoughts in her mind, guiding her. (Devers,
Goodbye Again, 49.) A young woman, reluctant to get a loan
and working at a job she hated to save money for college,
heard her mother’s voice telling her that “borrowed money
is better than wasted time” and that the woman’s father had
built a successful business on borrowed money. The
message changed the woman’s life. She got a student loan
and embarked excitedly on studying a field she enjoyed.
(Devers, Goodbye Again, 156.)

Telepathic messages sometimes guide the bereaved

toward financial gain. A woman searched through her
departed mother’s possessions; not finding anything of
monetary value, she threw most of the belongings in the
trash. The next morning she felt her mother’s spirit telling
her something telepathically, almost scolding her, but she
could not figure out what. In her haste to catch a ride she
tripped over the trash can and the mother’s wallet fell out.
The woman decided to keep it for sentimental reasons and
much later found valuable silver certificates hidden inside.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 165-166.)

A father and daughter, searching for savings bonds that

the mother had hidden, looked all over the house with no
luck. Then the daughter heard telepathically that they were
in the false bottom of the mother’s garment bag and indeed
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they were. A woman in serious financial trouble heard her

father’s voice telling her where he had kept some cash she
could use and she did find it there. Another woman suddenly
felt compelled to go look at her departed mother’s
belongings. When she touched her mother’s girdle, she
sensed that this was the object to which she was being led.
On looking carefully at it, she found a hidden pocket, which
contained a lot of money. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 244-247.)

In this last case, as in some of my experiences, telepathic

communications may not be explicitly stated but manifested
as a strong feeling about something. I came across another
example where such communication served to help many
people. A nurse working in an ICU began to sense when
patients were about to die. This ability started soon after her
own mother died and the nurse attributed it to her mother’s
spirit helping her telepathically although she did not hear
anything. She even began to see light around children who
were very close to dying and was able to help them prepare
for transition and make sure their families were aware.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 48.)

Through Other People

Julie has also used telepathy to get other people to help

us. Someone in line at the campus cafeteria suddenly warned
Earl that a particular item was bad that day. This was right
after Earl had decided to pick that item for his lunch but had
not made any observable move to pick it up. Recognizing
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that Julie had arranged this timely communication through a

stranger, Earl chose something else.

In another instance, a colleague knocked on my closed

office door and said, “Isn’t it time for class?” This was on a
rare occasion when I had lost track of time. I would have
been late for class had I not been alerted. I asked him after
class how he knew I was still in my office. He said he did not
know. It was just a sudden impulse. I thanked him and also
thanked Julie in my heart for arranging this so well.

I have also read about cases of telepathic ADCs given to

someone else in order to help the bereaved. A woman, who
was not bereaved, was debating what to give her son’s
teacher who had lost her home in a fire. As she tried hard to
think of something that would truly help the teacher, she
heard a voice in her mind telling her to give one of her
paintings. She argued with the voice that it was not
appropriate but the voice insisted. She walked around her
home looking over her paintings and felt an urge to pick a
painting of roses in an unusual vase. Still doubtful about this
gift, she gave the painting to the teacher who was overcome
with emotion on seeing it. She had lost an identical vase,
which was her mother’s gift, in the fire that destroyed all her
possessions. Getting this painting was a substitute for that
cherished vase. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 111-
113.) The woman had no idea whose voice she was hearing.
Because she herself was not bereaved, we can conjecture
that it was the teacher’s mother directing this woman to help
her daughter who was devastated by the fire and her loss.
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In another such instance, a woman, anxious about her ill

daughter in a hospital, prayed to her departed mother on the
anniversary of her mother’s death. In response, she was told
by a stranger in a store, “Your angel wants me to tell you not
to worry; everything will be all right.” (Browning, Feathers
Brush My Heart, 250-251.)

A friend of ours shared a similar story. After his mother

passed away, he was very sad as he flew back home. He
hoped that a stewardess who was a family friend would be
on the flight. Indeed she was and when he told her of his
mother’s passing, she gave him a book to help with his
healing. She explained that someone gave her this book but
she already had a copy and wondered what to do with the
duplicate. She then heard a voice telling her to take the book
on her next flight and she would know what to do with it.
She now believed it was our friend’s mother guiding her to
give this book to her son.

I end this chapter with an instance where Julie used

telepathy through someone else to do something special for
me. When I went back to teach after Julie’s transition, one of
my classes had the most caring group of students I have ever
taught. I believe this unusual class was arranged by our
angels to help me because I found it very difficult to get back
to teaching after losing Julie. Before the week of final exams,
the class asked me if we could have a pizza party to celebrate
the end of the semester. I agreed. The day they mentioned
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happened to be my birthday. But I had decided not to

celebrate my birthday anymore, so I suggested another day.

However, one student insisted this day would be better.

When I asked her why, she said, “I don’t know. But it has to
be that day.” I found that very odd. I then revealed to the
class that my birthday fell on that day and I did not want to
celebrate. (They already knew about Julie’s transition earlier
that year.) At this, the brightest and most caring student in
that class quickly observed, “Now we know why Angela
wanted the party on this day. It was your daughter telling
her.” Everyone laughed, but several students said they
believed this was precisely what happened. I gave in,
realizing the trouble Julie went through to arrange a
celebration for me by this special class of mine.

This incident has an interesting postscript. After I agreed

to the date, a student wondered aloud how Julie decided on
the person through whom she could give the message.
Another student joked that she must have looked around
for an empty head so she could pop a thought into it more
easily. This led to much amusement in the class, but the truth
is even I did not know why. I thought perhaps Angela was
more open to such communications, and yet I knew there
were other students in that class who seemed equally open.
So it remained a mystery.

It was only many years later (when I wrote the incident

for this book) that I remembered that the student’s name
was Angela and realized that Julie had used her to give me a
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clue that it was my Angel’s wish that I celebrate my

birthdays. But I completely missed her clever clue!

Nevertheless, I did comprehend that Julie wanted me to

celebrate my first birthday after her transition, no matter
that I had decided against doing this. But later I realized that
the incident had even more meaning. Julie wanted me to
understand that celebrating birthdays and being joyous
were important aspects of living the rest of my life on earth.
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Chapter 9
Spirit Visitations

Spirit visitations include visions of the departed loved

one, physical touch, smelling a fragrance, hearing a loved
one’s voice, or simply sensing someone’s presence. Many
visitations occur when the recipient is fully awake. Others
occur in dreams and these are discussed in Chapter 10.

Visitations also occur when the receiver is in bed and may

have been falling asleep. All kinds of ADCs (e.g., sight, smell,
sound, touch) are reported in the state between wakefulness
and sleep. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 113-124.) This does not mean that the visitation is
imagined. It is now widely accepted that we are closer to the
soul world in the hypnagogic state (the state between being
awake and falling asleep) than when we are awake and thus
more able to sense spirit phenomena. The reported visions
seem very similar no matter whether the recipient was
awake or falling asleep.

Visions

I start with visions, although we ourselves have not had

that experience. The reader may recall that I did not want
this type of ADC for reasons fully explained in Chapter 6.
But visions are a common type of ADC and perhaps the
most vivid of all spirit visitations, which is why I think it
appropriate to start with them.
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Many bereaved individuals have seen a vision of their

departed loved ones shortly after their deaths; sometimes
even before knowing of the death. In the vast majority of
these cases, this was the only ADC they received, but it did
offer them enormous comfort in knowing their loved one
was still alive and that they would be together again one
day. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 58, 60, 83-84; Morse,
Parting Visions, xii, 8, 32, 33)

More specifically, people have reported seeing a full or

partial vision of their loved one, especially in the few days
after the death and often in moments of intense grief. In
many of these cases, the bereaved had been focused on how
weak, ill, or otherwise physically troubled, their loved ones
had been. The visions of the spirit as healthy and happy, and
often as a younger version of themselves, helped the
bereaved get a new understanding of how different their
loved ones are in their new world. Even when there was no
conversation, the spirits looked at the recipients
meaningfully or smiled at them, communicating implicitly
that they were well and happy. The spirits of people who had
been paralyzed showed they could now dance and sing;
those who had lost limbs in accidents showed they were
whole again; if they had been ill or weak, they showed how
vibrantly full of energy they were now; if they had lost their
hair to chemotherapy, they now had a full head of hair; and
those who had long been grumpy, possibly due to their pain
and suffering, now smiled broadly to show how happy and
loving they were. Several of the visions were accompanied
by light or energy. These visions typically disappeared when
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the receiver tried to touch the spirit. Most recipients of

visions reported feeling loved and peaceful, but for some it
was a sad experience to see their loved ones again just for a
moment and lose them all over again. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 7, 67-112; Devers, Goodbye
Again, 4, 21, 28, 30, 31, 42, 46, 73, 82, 84, 88, 90.)

Here are some detailed examples of visions experienced

by the bereaved. A mother who lost her four-year-old
daughter in a car accident saw her daughter’s spirit
surrounded by light in her bedroom doorway. As the
mother’s eyes filled with tears, the daughter assured her
she was okay, that she loved her, and that they would be
together one day. She told her not to cry anymore and then
disappeared. (Valentine, Angels Everywhere, 71-72.) A
woman saw her departed father’s spirit in her bedroom
doorway with a glow around him. He reassured her that he
was well and would always watch over her. The next day,
her three-year-old son also reported seeing his grandfather.
In another case, a young man and his wife saw the man’s
departed mother standing at her front door waving to them
right after her funeral. She looked healthy and happy and the
son felt a wave go through him as she disappeared, moving
him immensely. (Ring, Lessons from the Light, 267-268.)
A grieving grandmother felt peaceful after seeing her
grandson’s smiling face on the surface of the pond where
he had drowned. (Attig, The Heart of Grief, 37.)

A woman agonizing over giving away her mother’s

clothes saw a brief vision of her mother “dressed entirely in
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a glistening dress” which made her realize that with such

magnificent clothes [made of light], her mother did not need
these earthly clothes. Another woman, gravely ill, saw her
mother standing in a mist at the foot of her bed, assuring her
that she would recover. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 75;
Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 243.)

An avid gardener was visited by his mother’s spirit

several times when he was deeply immersed in gardening.
Sometimes he saw her, sometimes he just sensed her, and
several times she connected with him telepathically. Each
time this happened, he first sensed that the quality of the air
around him had changed and he then anticipated her
visitation. The communications centered around guidance
on how to live his life, how to get closer to his children, and
how to help his father heal. (Matott, Garden Visits, see for
example, 19, 27, 57, 68, 91, 101.)

Sometimes, a vision may appear before knowledge of the

loved one’s death. A woman saw a brief vision of her friend
in her apartment. The friend said she loved her and
disappeared. It was only later that the woman found out
about her friend’s death. Another woman, camping with her
family, saw her grandfather outside her station wagon in the
pouring rain. He looked so real that she asked him to get in
the car. But he smiled and said he came to say goodbye. She
found out later that it was the precise moment he died, but
she could not figure out how he knew where they were
because no one knew their camping location. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 15, 225-226.) The fact
 162

is, as NDErs discovered, that spirits can locate whoever they

wish simply by thinking of them (Morse, Closer to the Light,
7, 19, 153, 169, 190; Ring, Heading Toward Omega, 34-35.)

In some cases, the vision has been of a “stranger” who

turned out to be a loved one. A woman saw a vision of a man
she did not know at the foot of her bed. He called her by her
birth name, said he loved her, and urged her to find her birth
mother. She started a search at once and was soon happily
reunited with her birth mother. On describing the vision to
her mother (and from a photograph), she discovered that the
man in the vision was her mother’s father. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 253-254.)

A similar case involved a teenager who lost her mother.

When she was feeling alone and unloved one day, a beautiful
vision appeared in her bedroom doorway. It was a teenaged
woman with long, dark hair, in a white dress and a butterfly
necklace. Although the teenager did not recognize the young
woman in the vision, she felt peace and love and it brought
her out of her grief. Many months later while visiting her
aunts, she saw a picture in an album of the same young
woman dressed exactly as she had seen her and found to
her delight that it was her own mother when she was about
her age. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 149-150.)

Mirror gazing, as described by psychiatrist Raymond

Moody, induces spirit visions. Moody calls these “facilitated
apparitions” and says “mirror gazing allows people to see
spirits of departed relatives virtually anytime they want.”
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(Moody, Reunions, xviii, xxi.) Even though “summoning

spirits” has a long history, this phenomenon is closer to
working through mediums and in my opinion it borders on
an insistence that shows a lack of respect for departed loved
ones. It is fine to ask for a sign from departed loved ones, but
the form and timing of such messages should be left to them
out of deference and thoughtfulness.

Moody admits that seeing visions without asking for them

has helped the bereaved, but he illogically concludes that, “It
only stands to reason that a planned apparition would have
greater positive effects.” (Moody, Reunions, 11.) I totally
disagree. It is much more natural and creates greater healing
when one is given a “gift” from the soul world than when one
deliberately summons a spirit. As Moody himself notes,
“apparition seekers do not necessarily see the person they
have set out to see,” and that some receive ADCs after going
home from Moody’s lab; he calls these “take-out visions.”
(Moody, Reunions, 29, 112, 136-141.) Perhaps some souls
want to make a point that they prefer to communicate at a
time and place of their own choosing.

Children Seeing Visions

Children often seem to see spirits that adults cannot. A

woman writes that her granddaughter asked to be taken to
the cemetery where the woman’s mother’s ashes were
buried. Although the little girl had never been there and
could not read, she pointed straight to the correct plaque,
suggesting that someone was guiding her. The lady also
 164

reported that her granddaughter often looks up and

excitedly says, “There’s Me Me! Can’t you see her?”
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 11-12.)

A man related that his toddler was visited at night by her

grandfather’s spirit (the man’s father) and spent many
happy hours chatting with him. He knew the visits were real
because the child talked later about incidents and mentioned
things that the man experienced as a child that she could not
possibly have known. She even related facts about the family
no one had told her. (Miller, Lewis, and Sander, eds.,
Heavenly Miracles, 38-41.)

It appears that these visits had other objectives as well.

Their specificity provides evidence that it was indeed his
father’s spirit who came to visit and that his father treasured
the memories associated with his son’s childhood.

A little girl who had never met her great-grandmother

reported talking to her in the night, and talked about things
she could not have possibly known but only her mother’s
grandmother would have. Her mother was happy and
believed that her grandmother did visit her daughter. It
allowed her to talk about her grandmother more openly.
(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 143.)

Visitations through Touch

Spirit visitations are not always visual. They may be felt

as physical touch. Some feel a gentle touch on their face or
 165

arm, others feel their hair being tousled, a hug, and some
even feel a kiss. Sometimes the physical touch is precisely
what the departed soul did in his or her physical life to say
hello, for example, a pat on the shoulder, an arm around the
back, or a pinch on the cheek. A woman grieving for her
mother felt a hug when she was sitting alone on a sofa and
knew her mother’s spirit was telling her she was fine.
Another woman felt her husband’s spirit kiss her every night
right before she fell asleep. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 45-54; Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 88; Devers, Goodbye Again, 16, 75, 79.)

Having helped her deaf mother by gently touching her

right or left leg so she could look in the correct direction to
read lips, a daughter is now rewarded with her mother’s
spirit using the same technique to help her. Whenever the
woman faces a difficult decision, and cannot resolve the
situation even after strenuous effort, she feels a gentle
pressure on her right leg to indicate a “yes” or on her left leg
to indicate a “no,” and is grateful for her mother’s guidance.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 102.)

A grieving widow was comforted when she felt a kicking

under her bed in the rhythm of a heartbeat a day after her
husband died. As her husband had died of heart failure she
took this as a sign that he was now well. (Devers, Goodbye
Again, 45, 91.) I believe the message also conveys that her
husband is “alive and kicking” and that he has a heart
connection with her.
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Another widow felt her husband write “I love you” with

his finger on the back of her hand, just as he used to in life,
when they were in public places. (Weiss, Messages from the
Masters, 97.) Yet another widow felt her husband’s arm
around her in bed as she called to him; and another felt a
hand patting her leg as her husband used to. (LaGrand, ADC:
Final Farewells, 103, 108.)

A friend of ours, about to undergo a medical procedure,

reported that she felt her mother’s spirit stroking her hand
just as she used to, and that it calmed her. Her brother also
felt their mother’s caress right before his own surgery and
he felt relaxed and ready for the surgery.

Some people have even felt the touch and presence of

beloved, departed pets. A friend of ours told us that for many
months after her beloved dog died, she could feel the dog’s
spirit pressing against her leg. Another friend, in similar
circumstances, mentioned feeling the pressure of her dog’s
head in her lap.

Just like other ADCs that take place before knowledge of

the loved one’s death, a spirit visitation through touch may
happen before the person knows of the death. A woman was
called by family at work to say that her mother was dying.
As she prepared to go to her mother’s side, she felt a touch
on her hand and a feeling of peace. She knew her mother had
been with her and noted the time, which was confirmed later
as the exact time of death. (Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 257.)
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A mother grieving for her four-year old daughter was

crying in bed when she felt a little hand touching her cheek
gently and was filled with peace. A father grieving for his
teenaged daughter was woken by the daughter’s kiss and
he instantly knew she was fine and he was filled with joy.
Another bereaved mother, who was so distraught after her
teenaged daughter’s death that she wished to die herself, felt
her daughter stroking her forehead and hair just as the
mother used to do for the daughter. This loving and familiar
touch made the mother understand her daughter’s spirit was
with her and she started healing. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 46-47, 49.)

Julie has often stroked my head in much the same way.

The gesture and angelic touch have made me happy and
peaceful. It suggests a role reversal in which our daughters,
who left us in an untimely way, are now acting as our
mothers in watching over us and calming us.

At first I could only sense this when I was in a hypnagogic

state, but later I could feel it not only while awake but also
through a hat. Also, Earl has felt hugs from behind him while
lying on his back in the hypnagogic state. He knew it was
Julie, because I could not possibly hug him that way. He was
happy she was conveying that she loves him. Both types of
experiences reinforced what I learned through my research
on the ability of spirits to enter anything (see Chapter 7).
 168

Many times in the hypnagogic state I have felt a clear

sensation that someone has just sat on the mattress or just
risen up from it, even when I was alone in bed. Even though
half-asleep, I have realized that Julie was saying hello and
that she loves me. Sometimes I felt the bed sinking in more
than one place simultaneously, and comprehended that Julie
had other angels with her.

A friend shared that she had this type of experience when

she was awake. While her father was very ill, she was sitting
on her bed one day, when she felt and saw the mattress
being depressed near her. She immediately realized it was
her father’s spirit and understood that he had passed on.
When someone from her family called her in the next few
minutes, she told them she already knew. When they asked
how she knew, she decided not to share the experience
because she thought they would not believe it.

Visitations through Smells

Another form of spirit visitation is through smells. Once

when I felt as if someone was getting up off the bed (as just
recounted), I sleepily thought, “Julie?” and instantly smelled
the most wonderful flowers, not of one kind but like a mixed
bouquet of very fragrant flowers. The smell was fleeting but
very powerful. Julie also used the fragrance of roses (in the
absence of real roses) during the first year after her
transition to palpably indicate her spirit presence.
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Many bereaved people report smelling a familiar

smell and knowing without doubt that their loved one is
communicating with them. The smells range from that of
roses and all kinds of flowers to coffee, after shave, or
perfume. In every case, the receivers were struck by the
intensity of the smell and the special association the smell
had with their loved one. For example, a young woman
walking in a park shortly after her mother’s death strongly
smelled her perfume and knew she was with her. Another
young woman smelled her grandfather’s cologne through
the telephone, with no one speaking on the line.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 55-66,
287-289; Devers, Goodbye Again, 23, 36-38, 142; LaGrand,
ADC: Final Farewells, 111-114.)

A lady who feels her mother’s continued presence knows

she is with her whenever she smells her perfume. Her
husband and son, who first thought she was imagining this,
also smelled her mother’s perfume at different times and
admitted that it was real. Another woman, whose mother’s
favorite flower was the rose, often smells roses after her
mother’s passing and knows her mother’s spirit is with her.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 38-39, 77-78.)

A widow smelled roses at her office desk and knew her

husband’s spirit was with her. He often used to send her
roses at the office. A mother grieving for her daughter
smelled “an overwhelming fragrance of roses” in the
daughter’s bedroom. The next day both parents smelled it
again and it happened off and on for the next few weeks
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giving comfort to the parents. In another case, a funeral

group came back to the family’s home and were duly
impressed and touched by the strong smell of roses, in the
absence of real roses. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello
From Heaven! 56-57, 64, 286-289.)

As in the case of other types of spirit visitations, such

smells may materialize when one is wide awake, or half-
asleep. A man woke up to the smell of cinnamon rolls
heating. It was his wife’s favorite breakfast treat. He had not
had cinnamon rolls in the house since her death and knew
she was saying hello. In a similar incident, a woman smelled
toast at 11 p.m. one night, just as she was falling asleep. It
was the exact time her departed husband used to fix toast.
(Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 97, 169.)

A family smelled fresh baked cookies in their

grandmother’s house many months after her passing,
although nothing had been baked there for a long time. She
had loved to bake in life and they realized she was saying
hello. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 113.)

On the morning of her birthday, only a few days after her

mother’s death, a woman smelled brownies baking as she
woke up. She was staying with family during this grieving
time, and assumed her sister had remembered her mother’s
tradition and done this for her. But when she went
downstairs, she realized everyone else was still asleep.
Confused, she went back to her room and the smell of
brownies filled the air again. That’s when she realized her
 171

mother was telling her she was okay and wishing her a
happy birthday in a way that was meaningful for the two of
them. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 176-177.)

When my mother was visiting us a year after Julie’s

transition, she smelled banana walnut muffins very strongly
as she was falling asleep one night. Being half-asleep, she
illogically assumed that the neighbors were baking
something. The next day she wondered how she could have
smelled the neighbors’ baking with everyone’s windows
closed, and asked me about it. I assured her that it was not
the neighbors but Julie’s special gift to her. My mother was
touched and happy to realize this; the three of us had often
baked banana walnut muffins together when Julie was little.

Visitations through Sounds

Spirit visitations can be auditory as well. A woman, who

was lonely after her husband died, heard “Moonlight Sonata”
being played on a piano in her house even though she had no
piano. The woman’s mother, a talented pianist, had died
when her daughter was only five years old, and the daughter
had always missed her and thought of her. On hearing the
song being played in the absence of a musical instrument,
the daughter realized her mother was telling her she was
always with her and that she was not alone. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 45.)

A woman heard her best friend’s voice calling her and

even heard her footsteps on the staircase, but when she
 172

opened the door, no one was there. The next day she found
out that her friend had died at the exact time she heard her
voice and footsteps. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond
Life, 65-67.)

A grieving man heard the sound of shorebirds (that his

father had loved) and as the sound filled his room, it was
accompanied by light. Then to his delight, the man heard his
father’s voice laughingly say that bird songs were even
better where he was. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 7-8.)

In other cases, the sounds heard were very brief, but

they were enough to confirm the loved one’s presence. A
bereaved mother heard the soft cooing of her baby daughter
twice in succession and knew with relief and joy that she
was in heaven. A woman whose boyfriend had died in a car
crash heard his hearty laugh and knew he was well and
having fun. After both her parents died in a truck crash, an
eighteen-year-old heard her mother call her nickname so
clearly that she looked for her all over the house, but then
she realized that her mother’s spirit was letting her know
she was okay. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 12, 19, 87.)

Another young girl heard her departed father’s unusual

laugh at her sports event. She knew he was there, and felt he
was encouraging her. Her coach heard the distinctive laugh
as well. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 81.)

A grief-stricken woman, who was driving to the hospice

to view her mother’s body, heard her mother’s voice singing,
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“Look at me way up high...” from “I’m flying” in Peter Pan.

She realized with gratitude that her mother was telling her
she was not in her body anymore but free of it. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 66.) I think the song the mother
chose is very meaningful. It says not only that she is free of
her body, but that she is way up high (a high-level soul) and
that she is flying and exhilarated, suggesting the magic of
which she is now capable.

Another woman looking after her ailing mother suddenly

felt a chill and a puff of air on her hair, and then heard her
mother whisper, “Goodbye, thank you.” The woman rushed
to her mother’s room and found out that she had passed
away. (Morse, Parting Visions, 35.)

Two friends of ours, who do not know each other, have

heard the doorbell ring on several occasions when they were
wide awake, and found no one there and no one even in
sight. One knew it was her mother’s spirit saying hello, the
other knew it was her son’s spirit telling her he was okay.

A student of mine, who lost her husband, often heard his

excited voice calling her, just as he did when he wanted to
show her a deer from one of their windows. She asked me if
there might be any special meaning to hearing his voice this
way. I replied that aside from telling her he is with her, the
excitement in his voice may indicate that he is in a delightful
place. She thought it the perfect interpretation.
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Auditory spirit visitations can also occur in the

hypnagogic state. A husband and wife had discussed
knocking as a sign from the soul world. After the wife died,
the husband asked her for a sign when he went to bed. He
woke up hearing three distinct and forceful knocks. Groggy
with sleep, he checked the house and found no one. Then he
realized that it was the sign he had asked his wife for.
(LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 14-15.)

I had an auditory communication from Julie that I related

in Chapter 6. She created the clear sound of a falling book
right behind me in a bookstore to make me turn around. But
there was no book on the floor near me. The sound was
created so I would see a book that had been pulled out a bit
on the shelf behind me. Julie wanted me to see that book so
I could learn more about the ADC phenomenon.

In the first few years after Julie’s transition, both Earl and
I heard each other’s voice saying, “Honey?” when the other
person had not said it, was not in the room, and sometimes
not even at home. This happened many times. Julie was
telling us she was with us, but thoughtfully using our voices
to say something familiar, so we would not be startled by
suddenly hearing her voice near us.

Earl has heard many angelic sounds in a hypnagogic state.

He has heard brief snatches of violin or other music, tap
dancing, kissing sounds, and several voices laughing.
Whenever he heard these sounds, he knew Julie was visiting
him and had other soul mate angels with her. He also felt
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great love being directed at him. And based on the sounds, it

seems our angels are always happy and we are delighted and
grateful to know that.

Curious about laughter in the spirit world, I researched it

and found that the soldier cited earlier told his mother that
there do not seem to be jokes or humor in the spirit world as
on earth, but “there is a joyousness that finds expression in
laughter.” (Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 70.)

This revelation about laughter in the spirit world shed

light on a type of dream that had been puzzling to me. Julie
and I sometimes had dreams after which we awakened with
the sensation of laughing so heartily that we were filled with
bliss. But when we thought back to what had just been said
in the dream it was at best mildly funny. We wondered why
we had laughed so hard in the dream.

Later, when I taught dream interpretation at senior

centers, some students shared that they had similar
experiences. I gave the phenomenon some more thought and
concluded that the dreamer was reaching a high level of
consciousness, or getting closer to the spirit world; and with
the generosity associated with that level found even jokes
with little humor exceedingly funny.

With the revelation from my research, I realized that

I was only half right. We were getting into a high level of
consciousness (or spirit energy) but it was the joyousness
associated with the higher level that found expression in the
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laughter which filled us. It had nothing to do with what was

said in the dream. Also, it was not the laughter which led to
the blissful state as I thought, but the blissful state that
created the heartfelt laughter.

Feeling the Presence

I came across several instances of the bereaved feeling a

spirit’s presence. One woman wrote of rocking her fussy
grandbaby and feeling out of synch herself because she was
sad that her own mother had died and “did not get to see this
baby” as she concluded. Suddenly she felt overwhelming
love as she felt her mother’s presence, connecting to both
her and the baby. The baby was soothed immediately.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 79-80.)

A woman who used to love her mother’s piano playing as

a child and used to watch her hands as she played, suddenly
felt her mother’s presence while working on the computer.
She even felt her mother’s hands inside her own hands,
guiding her work. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 51.)

Another woman running a marathon for a special cause

felt an incredible energy and that she could run forever. She
had asked her mother’s spirit for help prior to the run and
attributes this extraordinary experience as a gift from her
mother. She felt her mother’s presence vividly as she ran and
experienced a “wonderful feeling of skimming over the
ground” and called the race “virtually effortless.” (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 133-134.)
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Other bereaved people did not see, feel, smell, or hear

anything but they knew beyond doubt that their loved one
was near. These people spoke of feeling loved and knowing
intuitively who was near them. Some mentioned feeling an
energy or warmth; others said they felt joyful or peaceful.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 21-30;
Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 147.)

A mother who lost her young son heard Eric Clapton’s

song “Tears in Heaven” (written in memory of his son) for
the first time after her son died. She felt her son’s presence
during the whole time that the song played. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 25.)

Spirit visitations have also been associated with a swirl of

air or with a flash or glow of light. A woman looking at a
family album a week after her husband’s funeral felt a swirl
of air and knew her husband was telling her he was fine.
(Devers, Goodbye Again, 18.) A man and his son went to a
crash site where the man’s other son had died, and as they
found his ID bracelet, a flash of light appeared near them and
gave them both peace. (Morse, Parting Visions, 48.)

A bereaved mother saw a glow of light around her

daughter’s face in a photograph. Her husband and a visiting
friend saw it too before it disappeared. As it was a cloudy
day, they knew it was a sign from her that she was in heaven.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 182.)
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A mother continues to feel her departed daughter’s

presence whenever she misses her, when she calls on her for
help, and when she needs reassurance. She always feels a
sense of peace and love when this happens. Theologian C. S.
Lewis felt the spirit presence of his departed wife many
times and said it was intense and solid, and utterly reliable.
(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 41-45.)

An agnostic who did not believe in eternal life, leave alone

ADCs, suddenly felt her mother’s warm, palpable presence
on a walk through some fields. She had just been reading
about life continuing after death and hoping it was true. This
spirit visitation took place six years after her mother’s death
at a time when the woman was finally open to the idea of the
immortality of the soul. The experience completely changed
her perspective of soul survival and ADCs. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 146-147.)

I end this chapter with an unusual visitation from my

father’s spirit, which included telepathy. One afternoon,
I took a nap while recovering from an illness. In the process
of waking up, I sensed a man standing near my bed, leaning
over me. I knew Earl was at work and I was terrified, but I
did not move a muscle. The next instant, with my eyes still
closed, I heard a cultured, calm, male voice say in my mind:
“You are safe. You will not be harmed.” And then it repeated.

Instantly, I was filled with peace and opened my eyes.

There was no one to be seen. I realized it was Papa. He
probably checked on me when I was asleep many times.
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I just happened to start waking this time and sensed a

presence. But I did not realize it was him and was truly
frightened. It is marvelous that he instantly sensed my
fear although I had given no physical indication of it, and
quickly calmed me. In fact, the experience ended with a
warm feeling of being deeply loved and watched over.

This instance also enlightened me further about spirit

voices. As the reader knows by now, communication in the
spirit world is telepathic. So, angels do not need to use
voices, except perhaps when they sing with joy or when they
laugh. But they do use voices in some ADCs. For example,
many spirits spoke in their own voices in auditory
visitations as related earlier in this chapter. Spirits also
replicated their own voices in some telepathic messages
as discussed in Chapter 8.

But spirits can and do create other voices as well. In

Chapter 5, I shared how Julie created an angelic voice to
represent my love for her in a poignant but enlightening
dream song. As narrated in Chapter 7, a mother’s spirit
produced a deep, booming voice to scare away miscreants
and protect her daughter.

In the incident related above, my father spoke in a calm,

cultured, male voice (diametrically opposed to my idea of a
“ruffian’s” voice) to allay my fear with speed. And earlier in
this chapter, I shared how Julie generated Earl’s voice for me
to hear (and my voice for him to hear), whenever she
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wanted us to be aware of her presence without startling us.

It was ingenious as well as caring of her to do it this way.

Reflecting on these four cases made me realize that spirits

create voices as appropriate in each situation. It is awesome
that they can do this and wonderful that they do it to
enlighten us, keep us safe, make us peaceful, or delight us.
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Chapter 10
Dream Visitations

It is natural for the bereaved to dream about their

departed loved one. Many such dreams play an important
role in the healing process. They provide insights and clues
just as other dreams can. But simply dreaming of your
departed loved one does not mean it is an actual visit from
that spirit.

However, spirit visitations can and do occur in dreams

(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 127, 170-171) and may
be called “dream visitations.” (Martin and Romanowski, Love
Beyond Life, 48.) Some ADC authors think this happens
because we are in a more relaxed state when we dream.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 126.)
But this is not the case. The dream state can be far more
stressful for the bereaved than the waking state. I have had
many traumatic dreams about Julie even though I was
always peaceful in my waking hours and joyful about Julie’s
wondrous ADCs to us. This continued off and on for many
years because the subconscious mind tries to work through
past problems and issues in dreams and plays back sad
memories we may decide not to focus on when awake. It is a
natural part of emotional coping with a deep and tragic loss.

So it is not a relaxed state that allows dream visitations

but simply a different level of consciousness or spirit energy
while dreaming. “The idea that the dream state is a conduit
for communications…between the living and the dead…is as
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old as dreams themselves.” (Martin and Romanowski, Love

Beyond Life, 42.) Many scholars agree that the dream state is
at a higher level of spiritual consciousness than the waking
state. Actually, it is more accurate to say that we can reach a
higher level of consciousness while dreaming. After all, not
every part of dreaming is at a higher level; some dreams can
be negative or frightening. But when we reach a higher state
of consciousness while dreaming, it allows easier contact
between our physical world and the spirit realm; departed
loved ones can reach us directly in those dreams. In fact,
despite my sad dreams about Julie, I did also have dream
visitations from her, as discussed later in this chapter.

Most people can differentiate between dreams of

departed loved ones and dream visitations. The former are
like any other dream although for the bereaved these may be
very emotional. In contrast, dream visitations are very real,
extremely vivid, charged with emotion (typically positive),
and memorable.

“They seem like real visits because they are real visits.”
(Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 48.) Unlike
typical dreams that may be forgotten, dream visitations can
be recalled accurately. Unlike other dream experiences, hugs
are vividly felt in dream visitations. The reality aspect of
dream visitations extends to the actual passage of time in the
dream, the sensation of touch, and to clear thinking unlike in
a typical dream which can be illogical or muddled. The
departed spirits sometimes look like themselves on earth
and at other times they look angelic or like beings of light.
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Researchers who study ADCs report on many dream

visitations although some of them refer to them by different
labels: pediatrician and NDE researcher Melvin Morse calls
them “visionary dreams,” psychotherapist Edie Devers refers
to “dream encounters, ” and ADC authors Bill and Judy
Guggenheim use the label “sleep-state ADCs.” (Morse,
Parting Visions, 46-47; Devers, Goodbye Again, 55-56, 59, 62;
Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 125-144.)

Dream Visitations Received by Others

There are numerous reported instances of dream

visitations. In some dream visitations, the departed do not
speak but their messages are understood intuitively,
whether it is, “I love you,” or “I’m with you.” A woman writes
that she often has dreams of her mother in which the mother
appears young, happy, and beautiful; and even though she is
usually silent, her loving messages are very clear. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 247.)

A bereaved mother whose child had Down’s syndrome

also had a silent dream visitation where her son was riding
on a carousel, looking joyful and peaceful. This dream visit
transformed her sadness into peace and joy. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 133.)

A young woman who had died of cancer appeared to her

mother in a dream looking “radiant, healthy, and happy.” She
said she was fine and told her mother not to grieve. The
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visitation was a breakthrough for the mother and opened

her to more ADCs from her daughter. (LaGrand, ADC: Final
Farewells, 10.)

A bereaved mother whose daughter had been ill all her

life had a dream visitation of the daughter in a heavenly
setting. The daughter’s spirit told her grieving mother she
was so happy that she could now soar with the birds.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 134.)

Two young widows were agonizing about their husbands’

fatal accidents. Both had dream visitations in which the
husbands assured them that they did not suffer and that they
were fine. This helped the women to start healing. (Devers,
Goodbye Again, 68-69, 92-93.)

A woman who had finally conceived after trying for years,

had a stillborn child, and was inconsolable. She had a dream
visitation where she saw a baby in brilliant light, holding her
hands out and saying, “Mommy!” The baby was held by a
lady the mother did not know but on describing her to her
own mother she found that it was her grandmother whom
she had never seen, even in a photograph. In looking through
old family albums, she was able to pinpoint the grandmother
easily. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven!
254-255.)

Another mother, who had lost her little baby of five

months to SIDS, was racked with pain thinking her daughter
never knew how much she loved her. She had a dream
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visitation of her baby smiling at her, bathed in “a light of

peace, of wisdom, and of love.” The baby then laughed and
her laugh magically combined the notes of a harp, the
gurgling of a brook, and the cooing of an infant. She said
telepathically, “Mommy, I love you.” Through this heavenly
visitation the mother understood the power of eternal love
and moved toward healing and peace. (LaGrand, ADC: Final
Farewells, 147-148.)

Later, the same mother grieved that she never saw her
baby grown up. She had another dream visitation, this time
with her daughter grown up and very beautiful, with
features just like her father’s, wearing a long, white robe, and
bathed in a beautiful light. The mother finally realized that
her daughter’s soul was grown and that she was always with
her. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 148-149.)

A man grieving deeply for his mother fell asleep while

sitting near a window. He dreamed he was in a beautiful
field, walking toward a tree. A brilliant light appeared
behind the tree and his mother emerged from it. She was
dressed in white, beautiful and glowing. She hugged him,
told him she was fine, united with family who had passed on,
and that he should not grieve. She then backed into the light
and disappeared leaving her son peaceful and grateful for
the encounter. (Valentine, Angels Everywhere, 61-63.)

A daughter, depressed over her mother’s suicide, saw her

mother in a dream visitation. She was in a lovely garden,
surrounded by flowers. The dreamer could actually smell the
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flowers. Her mother said she loved her, that she was fine,
and asked for forgiveness. The daughter woke up, finally at
peace. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 187.)

A woman, who loved her father-in-law dearly, was very

sad because she had been unable to say goodbye to him
before he died. Her father-in-law appeared to her in a dream
and waved goodbye as he floated up, making her peaceful.
(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 141.)

A little boy, who previously had only recalled nightmares

rather than dreams, reported a dream visitation. He saw his
step-grandmother’s radiant face in a dream soon after her
passing, telling him he was loved. (Browning, Feathers Brush
My Heart, 67.) A man saw his wife’s spirit in a dream, with
her parents and brother who had died earlier. He knew it
was real and that she was telling him she was fine and with
her family. (Attig, The Heart of Grief, 37.)

Some bereaved people report still feeling the hugs from

their dream visitations even after waking up. Soon after her
mother’s death, a woman dreamed she was staying at her
mother’s condo. The doorbell rang, her mother walked in,
and then she hugged her. The woman could still feel the hug
the next morning and realized it was a real visit from her
mother. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 127.)

A woman about to undergo surgery had a dream

visitation from her grandmother who hugged her and told
her she would be with her during the surgery. This woman
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too could still feel the hug when she woke up. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 137-138.)

Another woman, nervous about her impending surgery,

had a dream visitation from her father’s spirit. He assured
her that it would be fine and to go ahead with it. This gave
her the confidence to proceed and all turned out well.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 238.)

Several people report having dreams in which the

telephone rings and when they answer it, it is their departed
loved one telling them they are okay. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 162-165.) The authors
classify these as waking ADCs where the phone rings but
that is incorrect. Cases of the phone actually ringing when
the recipient was awake are clearly instances of spirit
communications through objects (see Chapter 11). Instead,
these incidents are dream visitations because the recipients
were asleep and dreaming.

Dream visitations may even occur before the dreamer

knows of the loved one’s death. In these cases, it seems that
this ADC is both to inform and to comfort. One example is as
follows. A woman had been rebellious toward her mother
and had broken off all contact. But then the mother got a
heart attack and became very ill. The daughter finally
decided to go visit her dying mother. The night before
her trip, her mother’s spirit came to her in a dream. She
appeared as an angel floating above the bed, dressed in
a white robe and with beautiful flowing tresses. She said,
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“All is forgiven. There is joy.” The daughter was awakened

by a phone call the next morning telling her that her mother
had died the previous night. (Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 84-85.) Presumably she already knew this.

In a similar communication aimed at informing, Melvin

Morse had a dream visitation where his father appeared and
told him to call his answering service. He woke up at once,
called his service, and found a message from his mother
telling him his father had died. (Morse, Parting Visions, 72.)

Another such example concerns a man whose close

friend was gravely ill with leukemia. The man had a dream
that the two of them were walking in a beautiful forest. They
went to a ridge overlooking a valley that “glowed and
sparkled.” Then the friend said, “This is as far as you can go,”
and walked off into the valley. The man woke up feeling very
peaceful and found out that his dear friend had died the
previous night. (Ring, Lessons From the Light, 176.)

Specific Messages through Dream Visitations

Sometimes dream visitations have specific purposes

other than to connect with the bereaved and help them heal.
A woman had a dream visitation from her departed son.
Although he was only two years old when he died, he was
older in the dream and talked like an adult. She thought he
said that his tombstone was incorrectly put on a little girl’s
grave and his name was backwards. The mother went to the
cemetery and found that his tombstone had indeed been put
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on a little girl’s grave and that it was facing the wrong way.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 252-
253.) Interestingly, the mother assumed that the son saw his
name backwards because the tombstone was facing the
wrong way, instead of recognizing that communications
from spirits can get slightly mistranslated in transmission
(see my own experience in Chapter 7). The son probably did
say the tombstone was backwards but the mother “heard” it
as the name being backwards. The important thing is she got
the essence of the message.

A woman’s grandmother explained to her in a dream

visitation why she left her money instead of her house
which the woman had loved and always said she wanted.
The grandmother took her through the whole house and
painstakingly pointed out all the reasons the house would
not have been appropriate for her. In another case, a sister
appeared to her elderly brother in a dream visitation to
remind him to set his alarm for her memorial service, and to
tell him she was happy and waiting for him. He died a week
later. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 64-65, 67-68.)

A departed husband came to his widow in a dream

visitation and told her to clean under the washer. She did
and found his lost chain, which had been a gift from his
mother. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 172.)

A student who took a depressing college course on the

lack of meaning in life got a dream visitation from his
mother’s spirit in a beautiful garden setting flooded with
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sunlight. She looked joyful and said, “It’s magnificent,” and

he was instantly covered in sunlight. He was inspired and
realized that his course readings were wrong; life indeed
had meaning and was magnificent. (Devers, Goodbye Again,
76-77.)

There are instances in which departed relatives conveyed

something in dream visitations that the dreamer could not
have known. Moreover, it was something that could be
verified. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 215-
217, 223-225.) It seems that the purpose of these visitations
was not only to give specific messages, but also to provide
evidence (by imparting something that could be checked)
that the departed relatives truly had visited them.

A grieving father had a dream visitation from his

departed daughter. She held him close and told him several
things about the future that later came true. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 1.) This also seems to be a
visitation to provide evidence that it was real.

A mother unable to handle her teenaged daughter had a

dream visitation from her departed father-in-law. He gave
her specific instructions on how to deal with the daughter,
and it worked. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 150.)

Dream Visitations to Pass on Messages to Others

There are cases that I came across in my reading, in which

someone other than the bereaved received dream visitations
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with the intent that the messages be passed on. A five-year-

old boy in a coma came to the family’s religious counselor in
a dream visitation and asked him to tell his family to let him
go. The counselor was nervous about sharing this but the
dream was so vivid and real that he felt he had to do as
asked. Fortunately, the parents accepted that the message
was from their son. They told the son, as he lay in a coma,
that he would be deeply missed but he could go. The boy
regained consciousness for a moment, thanked the parents,
said goodbye, and died the next day. (Morse, Closer to the
Light, 65.)

A lady, who had developed psychic abilities as a result of

her near-death experience, had a vivid dream in which a
woman’s arm held a translucent box with a beautiful white
gardenia. A woman’s voice said, “Give this to my mother,
Mrs. Henry, and tell her I am always with her.” The lady did
not know a Mrs. Henry but when she went to the cafeteria at
work the next day, there was only one other person there
and the waiter addressed her as Mrs. Henry. The lady
approached Mrs. Henry and shared her dream. Mrs. Henry
in turn shared that her daughter had recently been killed in a
car accident and that her favorite flower was a gardenia.
(Ring, Heading Toward Omega, 165.)

Dream Visitations Received by People I Know

I start with an instance that fits the last section because it

involves a message for someone else, but it happened to a
friend of mine. So, this placement bridges both sections. This
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friend had a dream visitation from her departed cousin. The

cousin’s teenaged daughter was experiencing emotional
problems and acting out in ways that her father could not
handle. The cousin dictated a letter to my friend in her
dream, which my friend recalled verbatim on waking. She
immediately wrote it down and sent it in an email to her
cousin’s husband. It reached him right before his talk with
his daughter and helped him deal with her issues in a
positive way. If one wonders why the cousin did not visit her
husband in a dream, the likely answer is that she tried but
could not get through, due to his grief.

A doctoral student told me of her father’s death in her

home country while she was studying in the U.S. She was
unable to go back to see her father when he was ill and was
sad about it. But at the time of his passing, she had a dream
visitation in which the father appeared and said goodbye.
This was of great consolation to her.

Another student told me that her departed husband has

appeared to her several times in dream visitations. He never
said anything but smiled at her in a meaningful way. She said
he had not believed in eternal life and his smile seemed to be
saying, “I was wrong. Here I am.” I think that is a nice
interpretation.

Yet another student has had dream visitations from

several departed loved ones. Most of them did not speak and
just smiled lovingly. She believed she was simply dreaming
of her loved ones until in one visitation, her grandmother
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stroked her head and the dreamer felt it vividly. That is

when she realized these were real visits by her loved ones
and it made her very happy.

One of Julie’s friends had a dream visitation from her.

This friend was to get married shortly after Julie’s passing
and she could not get over the fact that Julie, who was to be
one of her bridesmaids, would not be at her wedding. She
had a dream that as she sat before a mirror, Julie appeared
from behind her, put a pearl necklace around her neck, and
hugged her. She woke up feeling happy and peaceful and
shared this experience with me.

A dear friend of mine also had a dream visitation from

Julie. She saw Julie in her dream but did not realize at first
that it was a real visit. She just remembered that Julie was
“gone” and started sobbing. Suddenly, I was with her too (in
the dream) and she asked me why I wasn’t crying. I said, “I
have done my grieving and I am at peace. But you had never
cried for Julie, whom you were so fond of, so you had to do
that now. But it’s okay, don’t be sad anymore.” Throughout
this exchange, Julie was there in the dream, smiling. My
friend shared this dream with me and told me how real it
felt. I was amazed because what I said in her dream is
precisely what I would have said. I was sure it was a dream
visitation from Julie and that Julie told her what I would have
said. My friend agreed that this is exactly what happened.

Another dear friend of mine had lost her mother in a

tragic accident by a hit-and-run driver. The family never
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talked about the incident or the grandmother, remembering

only her pain and trauma. Several years later, my friend’s
daughter had a dream of her grandmother dressed in
brilliant white; they hugged each other and it felt real. When
she told her mother of her dream, her mother told her that it
was her grandmother’s death anniversary. Hearing this, the
granddaughter was inconsolable. My friend asked for my
advice and I assured her that this was a dream visitation
and something to be cherished; they now had first-hand
evidence that the grandmother was in a beautiful place.
This new way of thinking helped them heal and start to
remember the grandmother in happier times.

Dream Visitations to Us

Several years after Julie’s transition, I had a dream

visitation from my father. I dreamed I walked into a crowded
room and saw my father at the far end. He was taller than
everyone else, so I could see him clearly and he was looking
at me with a loving expression on his face. I was delighted to
see him and sensed I had not seen him in many years. As I
was making my way to him, someone in the crowd asked me
something and I turned my head to answer. When I looked
ahead again, my father was gone. I was confused and sad and
closed my eyes. Immediately, I felt a protective, angelic
embrace from behind me, knew it was my father, and was
filled with peace. I realized in the dream itself that my father
was always with me even though I could not see him.
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Earl had two dream visitations from Julie. The first one
was in the early years. In that dream, he and little Julie were
hugging each other and Earl was very happy. The second one
was many years later. In this one, grown-up Julie and I were
embracing, and he was watching us, overjoyed to know Julie
was still so closely connected to us, and especially to me.

I had several dream visitations from Julie, especially in

the early years. In the very first one, grown-up Julie was a
distance away from me, under a cone of heavenly light. I was
happy to see her and knew it was really her, but I could feel
the divide between us physically. Then Julie called out with
urgency, “Keep your cell phone on, Mom!” I awoke delighted,
realizing that this was not to be taken literally but to be
interpreted that I should always be open to Julie’s messages
from the spirit world. I took the communication seriously
and have been amply rewarded by Julie’s ongoing contacts.

In another early dream visitation, Julie was leaping high

in slow motion over a beautiful meadow. She happily called
out to me, “I will never smoke again!” Her words and the joy
radiating from her flooded me with relief and happiness.
I understood that she was acknowledging the cause of her
cancer and assuring me that if she came to earth another
time, she would never smoke again. Later, I learned through
my research on NDEs that reincarnation is a choice after
reaching a certain level of spiritual growth. (Dabholkar, Life
Review: God’s Perfect Plan, 21.) So the dream could also mean
that Julie was at a spiritual level from where she would not
have to reincarnate any more, and consequently, would
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never smoke again. I was happy with either interpretation,

although I very much preferred the latter.

In other dream visitations, Julie ranged in age from a

toddler to her grown-up self. In a few, she was luminous; in
these, she did not speak and we did not touch, but I was
filled with peace. In most, she said, “Momma!” or “Mom!”
depending on the age depicted and we hugged. The hugs felt
totally real and I was filled with bliss.

In Chapter 5, I wrote about the bittersweet “dream song”

Julie gave me so I could understand that she was always with
me. I placed it there because it was an early ADC from her
and also because it was not quite a dream visitation. And yet,
I believe it needs to be acknowledged here as well.

I end this section with a dream that is more like a typical

dream than a visitation, but I include it here because it was
given to me by Julie to tell me of a specific, angelic gift from
her. The background is that late in her illness, Julie said it
was her heartfelt wish that Earl and I go to Hawaii one more
time. We had cancelled a planned trip to Hawaii for the three
of us when Julie became ill. Even now we did not want to go
without her, but she insisted it would make her happy and to
consider this her special gift to us.

More than two years later, I finally called an airline to

make the booking to fulfill our promise to Julie. We had
planned a short visit of only 3 days because we could not see
this as a fun vacation any more. But the lady helping me said,
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“Why don’t you go for 6 days? The dates are available.” I was
most surprised that a stranger was suggesting this but I
agreed. Also, we were using all the free miles we had left but
I knew there was a tax to be paid on each ticket. However,
when the booking was done, the agent wished me a good trip
and hung up. I was sure she would call back to get credit
card information for the tax but she did not.

That night I had a dream that Julie and I were in a

restaurant. I ordered two meals that had to be paid for in
advance. But the meals appeared before I paid and I started
to tell the lady server, “I have not yet…” Before I could say
“paid,” she answered, “No charge!” She and Julie smiled
knowingly at each other and then Julie gave me a huge grin. I
said, “I don’t understand. Don’t I have to pay?” Julie laughed
and said, “It’s a gift. So just enjoy it, Mom!”

I knew when I woke up that Julie was telling me in the

dream that the reason I did not have to pay the airline tax
was because this was her gift. Moreover, she arranged it that
way so I would know she was still involved in giving us this
special gift. I also realized that Julie had prompted the agent
to urge me to make our stay six days long so it would be
more relaxing and memorable. Earl and I deeply appreciated
Julie’s loving angelic gift, her making sure I knew it was her
gift, and the fact that she wanted us to enjoy the visit.
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Chapter 11
Angelic Contacts through Objects

In this chapter, I focus on communications via the

material world. Such messages are given through objects,
electricity, and other physical means. In Chapters 12-14,
I discuss sprit messages through the natural world,
whether through birds, other wildlife, or nature.

But how are such communications (whether through

the material or natural worlds) accomplished? The NDE
literature tells us that the spirit realm is filled with the
deepest love and that love is the driving force of the
universe. (Berman, The Journey Home, passim; Ring, Lessons
from the Light, passim.) Once we accept this fundamental
truth, we can turn to a scientific explanation.

Louis-Marie Vincent, professor of biology and physical

chemistry, explains that just as a turbine utilizes heat to
generate electricity and a radiator uses electricity to create
heat, all forms of energy (including love) can produce other
types of energy. In keeping with the NDE literature, he
writes, “We can very well conceive of love as being the
highest form of energy,” which can then result in electrical
energy or mechanical energy. (Valarino, On the Other Side of
Life, 177.) This is the perfect explanation of how departed
loved ones use love energy to turn on lights, give other types
of messages through objects, and convey a variety of signs
through birds, other wildlife, and nature.
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Messages from Julie through Objects

In Chapter 5, I shared the amazing scenes created on

Julie’s computer during the first few weeks after her
transition to help me cope with my grief. I also shared how
Julie brought me a Valentine’s balloon in a magical way.

An early ADC related in Chapter 6 actually had two

components—an auditory part, creating the sound of a
book falling (as shared in Chapter 9) and an ADC through
an object, which fits in this chapter. The second component
is represented by Julie’s pulling a book out slightly (from a
row of books on a shelf) to draw attention to it.

In the first year after Julie’s transition, sometimes when

we were sad and talking about Julie, a lamp or a light bulb
would flicker near us. Each time we instantly knew Julie was
telling us she was okay, she was with us at that moment, and
to be happy.

Once, to my delight, Julie made it possible for me to see

her shaping an object to create an ADC of love. Earl and I
were taking a walk and I happened to look down and saw a
long, curly hair that must have fallen off my head and stuck
to my shirt. As I reached to take it off my shirt and throw it
away, the curly hair was magically straightened and turned
into a perfect heart!

Not only did Julie time this little miracle for me to witness,
but the speed with which the hair was changed and shaped
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was breathtaking. I could hardly take it in even though I saw

it happening. Earl saw the perfectly formed “hair heart” but
did not see it being made because it was created at lightning
speed and I did not have time to alert him. The incident
showed me in a palpable way how abilities are enormously
enhanced in the soul dimension and gave me an inside look
into the speed with which Julie’s spirit thinks and acts.

Three times when we had soup at home, there was a heart

in the bottom of the bowl as if drawn with a finger in the
remnants of the soup. The first person who got this gift was
my mother when she was visiting. Later, Earl got a “P” (my
initial) in his bowl, and I got a heart. The third time, Earl got
a heart. Having experienced how Julie acts at lightning
speed, we understood how the hearts in the soup bowls
suddenly appeared without us seeing them drawn.

We also found perfect hearts or “J”s on all kinds of fruits

and vegetables that appeared after buying and bringing
them home and on toasts or cheese after preparing these to
eat. We found hearts in the sink made with soap pieces,
hearts on the vanity of lotion drops, hearts on toothbrushes
created out of toothpaste, and hearts on kitchen counters
formed with spilled of water. Earl found a perfect heart
shaped hair (made with my hair) on the console of the car
when he was leaving for work one day.

Once, after returning from Jekyll Island, we were thrilled

to find a perfectly drawn heart with purple ink at the bottom
of the ice chest we had taken with us. We noticed that the
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bag containing ice had some purple markings which Julie

seems to have used to draw the heart. Another time, she
made a purple heart on my napkin at a restaurant with the
blueberry preserves on my plate. Like the hearts made in
our soup bowls, I did not see her making this one, but found
it later to our delight.

Julie has moved objects that we noticed later and knew

of her presence. One morning on waking we saw that one
of our dried wedding leis which we had placed on a swing in
the house had been changed in position so that it made the
silhouette of a young girl with long braids, posing casually.
We both said, “Julie!” the moment we saw it. Another time,
we noticed that an angel magnet on the refrigerator had
been moved from a vertical to a horizontal position so it
looked like the angel was flying. It made us smile.

In Chapter 6, I wrote about how Julie moved my emails so

an old email of hers that had a meaningful message appeared
on my computer screen. Also, on two different occasions, an
old email of hers suddenly appeared in my “Inbox,” to my
astonishment and joy. They did not arrive as if they were
forwarded but with the current date. Both emails were short
but full of love and both said “talk to you soon.” One of them
had been sent originally from Oregon and the other from
Oxford, both places that Julie had attended college as an
exchange student. I think Julie used these as special gifts,
possibly on days I was stressed at work. She was reminding
me how much she loves me and that she is always “talking”
to me. One of the emails even said, “I’ll be here tonight, but
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tomorrow I’ll be here as well.” This was originally written to

let me know when to call her, but now it has the added
meaning of our eternal and constant connection, which is
why she may have selected this email to “send” again.
Selecting emails sent from Oregon and Oxford implies that
she is “away” (as she was in those honors programs) and yet
“with me” as she always was and is.

Once in a restaurant where you pay upfront at the

counter, the cashier stood looking perplexed at the bill and
said, “The machine is really acting up.” I asked, “May I see?”
and was enchanted to see, “Mommm…” on the bill, placed
where it was overlapping the amount. The cashier offered to
try ringing it up again but I said it was fine and happily held
on to this magical receipt.

ADCs through Objects Received by Others

The most dramatic ADC through an object is that from the

spirit of the soldier killed in World War I who contacted his
mother through the wireless and informed her of his death.
I have discussed this instance in Chapter 6.

But there are other intense examples of ADCs through

objects in the literature as well. Bereaved people have
actually witnessed objects being moved and realized that
their loved ones were communicating with them.

A dying girl was trying to open a bottle of a sparkling

drink but was too weak to do it. Her mother offered to help
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but the girl said she would open it when she was stronger.
Sadly, she passed away the next day and the parents put the
bottle in their living room. A few days later, the cork popped
open precisely at midnight, despite being held by wire and
foil. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 180-
181.) It was their daughter’s clever way to let her parents
know that she was now strong enough to do this.

A widow and her son were in the kitchen when her

husband’s favorite tin cup clattered to the floor as if
someone threw it there, convincing them both of his
presence. Two daughters clearing out their mother’s clothes
were stunned when her sturdy mirror flew off the wall and
landed on the carpet, but they realized she was saying hello.
In a similar case, a bishop’s son, who had committed suicide,
moved a mirror to show his father that his soul lived on.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 184;
Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 35.)

A departed man’s favorite Christmas ornament flew off

the tree in his family’s presence, letting them know he was
with them. In another grieving family, one of the daughters
spoke sadly of their recently departed father and wondered
where he was. Suddenly, the holiday lights which were not
working that year came on, delighting the family. (Martin
and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 113-114, 122.)

In her edited book on ADCs, Sinclair Browning writes that

after her mother’s death the family released a “balloon man”
that had lightened the last few days of her mother’s illness.
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It floated up and got caught in a tree with its “back” to the

family below. When her grandmother sadly noted that he
was not facing them, the balloon man lifted off the tree but
instead of continuing to float upward, came back down and
sat in the tree facing the family. His arms waved although
there was no breeze and then he floated away. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 6-7.)

In a similar story of communicating through balloons, a

young boy, shortly to be adopted, was fascinated by eagles
and had his heart set on including “Golden Eagle” as part of
his legal name. Unfortunately, he was struck and killed by
a car in Hawaii just before his birthday. At his memorial
service on what would have been his eighth birthday, the
family released many helium balloons to honor him, because
he had hoped for balloons on his birthday. Many people
attended the service and to their amazement, the balloons
rose up and formed the shape of an eagle in flight, with
white balloons as the head and blue ones as the body.
(Miller, Lewis, and Sander, eds., Heavenly Miracles, 27-29.)

Spirits often move or use objects of personal importance

to give ADCs. A woman found a red ribbon, with special
meaning for her mother and herself, appearing at different
places in her house. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 38-
39.) A grieving mother found her son’s laughing photo (the
only one in which he was laughing) in different places every
time she was sad—in the laundry room, in her billfold, and
on her dresser. She took it as a sign that he was okay.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 185.)
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She is right, of course, but I believe the ADC tried to

convey much more than that. The choice of the photo was a
sign that her son was truly happy, and that he wanted her to
be happy too. He was also showing her the magic of the
spirit world by moving objects so easily.

An unusual story of a spirit moving objects to make a

point is related by a woman who sold her mother’s precious
possessions against her wishes. Apparently annoyed that her
daughter did not keep these possessions, the mother’s spirit
began some antics to catch the daughter’s attention. The
daughter and her husband began to find things missing just
when they needed them but later they always turned up in
the exact place they had left them. The missing items ranged
from tools and hearing aids to wedding bands. The woman
knew it was her mother’s doing and was grateful for her
presence. At the same time, she was annoyed at these
incidents which deliberately inconvenienced her and her
husband. Eventually she realized why her mother was doing
this and asked her forgiveness for disposing of her items.
And that led to an end of the “pranks” as the woman labeled
them. She concluded that her mother, who had been a firm
disciplinarian, was continuing this trait in the soul world.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 220-223.)

While it is important that we honor the wishes of the

departed, it is not just the daughter who was remiss. From
the perspective of spiritual growth, playing pranks (for
whatever reason) is low-level behavior. Also, the mother’s
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focus on material possessions suggests a lack of spiritual

maturity in her. It is in contrast to many ADCs in which
spirits told the bereaved to do whatever they wished with
the departed one’s possessions because love was all that
mattered.

Clocks and Watches

Spirits often use clocks or watches to tell their loved

ones they have moved on or that they are fine. (LaGrand,
Messages and Miracles, 52, 189-190; LaGrand, ADC: Final
Farewells, 116.) A daughter’s watch stopped suddenly
when her mother was ill. After learning the exact time of
her mother’s death, the daughter knew her mother had
visited her. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 250.)

A young woman who was murdered let her grieving

parents know she was fine by making a broken clock
suddenly start ticking. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 180.) A daughter’s broken clock
suddenly started ringing when her mother was gravely ill.
When the ringing stopped, a nurse called to say her mother
had died. (Cox-Chapman, The Case for Heaven, 33-34.)

Electrical Devices

Several bereaved people have witnessed lights going

on and off or flickering, just as we have. Others have
experienced television sets coming on by themselves.
Those reporting such phenomena admitted to an intuitive
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knowledge of the departed soul’s presence. (Guggenheim

and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 174-177.)

The bereaved have also experienced radios or music

boxes coming on by themselves. For example, a weather
radio that needed to be played manually came on
automatically. A stereo turned on by itself and played a
song that the departed person had loved. Music boxes that
had not worked for a long time suddenly started to play to
comfort the bereaved. One played “Lara’s Theme” from
Dr. Zhivago, which had special meaning due to the words
about being together again someday. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 177-179, 237; Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 145; LaGrand, Messages and
Miracles, 231; LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 117.)

A woman, who had written a manuscript tying humor,

art, and the subconscious, was sitting up late at night and
wondering if her writing was any good. Immediately, the
blender in her kitchen came on and she jumped up and
turned it off. She then wondered if it was her mother’s spirit
telling her that her writing was good, and the blender came
on again. This time she was convinced of her mother’s
message and loving approval for her writing and went ahead
with the project. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 139.)
The woman does not explicitly note this, but it is likely that
her mother used a blender because the woman’s writing was
blending several different subjects into one.
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Telephones

ADCs are sometimes received through the telephone. One

woman received a phone call when her grandmother died,
but no one spoke. She found out the next morning that her
grandmother had died at that precise moment. (LaGrand,
ADC: Final Farewells, 117.) Often, in such instances, the
phone would ring and the bereaved person would hear their
loved one’s voice saying they were fine, or the two would
have a brief conversation. (Martin and Romanowski, Love
Beyond Life, 120-121.)

A child’s spirit correctly reported on the phone what her

mother was cooking. In a particularly intriguing case, the
phone lines had been disconnected due to roadwork and
yet the family received their ADC call. Just as magically, a
little boy heard from his father on his toy telephone and he
told him things the boy could not possibly have known.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 166-172;
Weiss, Messages from the Masters, 96-97; Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 1.) The last two examples
suggest that spirits do not actually call on a working phone
but simply use the phone as a prop to communicate with
their loved ones.

After her mother’s death, a woman’s answering machine

showed a blinking light every day for two weeks, but each
time there was no message. Also, her father was installing
carpet when he was told by the customer that a woman had
called for him. He was confused because no one would have
 209

known he was at that house. He picked up the phone, but

there was silence. His daughter then realized it was her
mother’s way of letting them know she was okay. In her life
on earth this woman had used the telephone constantly to
call her daughter and to set up her husband’s business calls.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 203-204.)

After losing his wife and son within a few months, a man
started getting text messages with no return number, and
using phrases only his wife would have used. The woman
had been addicted to her cell phone and ironically had
been buried with it. Although the online news article that
reported this case obviously doubts the story, the man is
convinced that his wife is contacting him. (Fruhlinger,
Joshua, “Contact Via Cell Phone,” switched.com)

In another instance, a phone was heard ringing in the

absence of a phone. A woman who went to check her
mother’s house, which was on sale after the mother’s
passing, heard the phone ring. She started to go to answer
it when she realized there was no phone anymore in that
house. Later her son also heard the phone ringing when he
went to the house. The woman realized that her mother was
saying hello in her favorite way as she used to call the family
every day. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 31-32.)

Making an Imprint

Earlier in the chapter I recounted Julie’s ADCs in which

she created hearts or “J”s in objects to let us know of her
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loving presence. I found only one instance in my reading

where a spirit made an imprint but it is an uplifting example.
An ailing woman spent a lovely summer afternoon in her
beloved daughter’s backyard, pulling her wheelchair close
to the goldfish pond to watch the fish and frogs. The woman
died the following winter and on the day before her funeral
the daughter looked out and saw that the now-frozen pond
had some fresh snow on it. Feeling compelled to go out and
look more closely at the snow, the daughter was greatly
moved to discover footprints that led from the edge of the
pond to its center, where they twirled and stopped.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 108.)

The writer does not explicitly say this, but there are other
beautiful messages interwoven in this ADC. The footprints
indicate the mother’s freedom from the confines of her
wheelchair; the twirl in the center suggests that her spirit is
dancing joyously; and the disappearance of the footprints
after the twirl expresses her rise to the soul realm. Indeed,
every ADC has meanings at many different levels for those
left behind. Understanding all these meanings can hasten our
healing and increase our comprehension of the spirit world.

Julie’s Ongoing ADCs through Objects

I would like to end the chapter by sharing the two most

magical forms of messages through objects that Julie gives us
on a continual basis. The first is through a candle we light
near her framed photos. Julie expresses herself through the
candle flame in a variety of ways. The flame bobs wildly to
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show support for something we say to her at her candle. It

bends halfway with the top half folding over rapidly, which
we view as Julie’s blessings. It twirls around (like a dancer)
to express her joy. Most magical of all, the flame shapes itself
into a perfect heart, which palpably says “I love you.”
Sometimes, there is a clear kissing sound while the flame
bobs up and down. Feeling the warmth of Julie’s love
expressed so beautifully through a candle flame is one of
our dearest blessings.

The other wondrous communication through objects that

Julie has continued over time is through electronic devices
(but using only numbers, symbols, and two letters M and E).
Using limited characters suggests that Julie rightly wants to
keep this type of communication at a general level. This way,
the messages are full of love, but without details about
everyday matters, which we need to deal with on our own.

How these messages started and how we deciphered

them make an interesting story. A few months after Julie’s
transition, I saw a message pop up on an electronic device
not connected to the internet. I knew immediately that Julie
was trying to communicate with me in an amazing, direct
way. As more messages appeared, I noted them before they
disappeared, but could not figure out what they meant.

The very first message was “IOM” which I might have

fathomed except that it was repeatedly followed by “OM”
which I interpreted as the Sanskrit OM, meaning the source
of the universe, or God. I thought Julie was trying to convey
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that she was in heaven, which of course we already knew.

Then other messages appeared with different numbers,
symbols, or letters. For example, one message read “7ME”
which made me think Julie was saying something about
herself “ME” and perhaps “7” referred to her level in heaven.
My interpretations were based on thinking that Julie was
trying to tell us precisely where she was. But I did not get far
with this approach.

Then Earl suggested that Julie had to be saying something

about love in almost every message. I realized he was right.
At the time I had not discovered the ADC literature and did
not even know the term ADC. It was much later that I found
out that most ADCs simply say, “I love you.” But what Earl
said made perfect sense.

I immediately figured out that “O” stood for “love” (as in

“O and X” for “love and kisses”), which is how Julie and I had
always interpreted that abbreviation, instead of “hugs and
kisses.” I was thrilled to realize that Julie’s very first message
“IOM” simply meant “I love you, Mom.” It was only because I
did not grasp this fast enough for Julie, that she repeated
“OM” several times, which meant “Love you, Mom!” But I got
side-tracked thinking she was referring to the Sanskrit OM.

But now, happy to have cracked the code, I understood

that “I” represented Julie and “I” stood for Papa to match
how they were on earth (small and big). It made sense that
“I” stood for angels unknown to us at present (or soul mate
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angels who we do not recall in this life). So, the message “III”
meant “3 angels are with you.”

Each number and symbol implied something obvious to

me. For example, “7” represented “rainbows” which meant
“happy days ahead” and “8” indicated “blessings” as it is
Julie’s birth date. Also, “M” was for Mom and “E” for Earl,
so that “ME” was not “me (Julie)” but “Mom and Earl.” Thus,
the earlier message “7ME” meant “happy days ahead for
Mom and Earl.” And another early message “II8ME” stood for
“Papa and Julie give blessings to Mom and Earl.”

Also, “—” suggested “support” to me, so that “I—E” meant

“I support Earl.” And “………..” represented “always
connected” so that “I………..M” indicated “Papa is always
connected to Mom.” I had concluded that when any symbols
were repeated many times, we were not supposed to count
them but to comprehend that it meant “always.” With this
interpretation, “IIIIIIIII” stood for “Angels are always with you.”

The deciphering was logical, yet intuitive. It helped me

translate chains of numbers and symbols into coherent,
loving messages from Julie, Papa, and our soul mate angels,
for which Earl and I are eternally grateful.
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Chapter 12
On the Wings of Love

I have already shared in Chapter 5 that the very first ADC

from Julie was through birds, with geese flying over the
funeral car and how their formation and flight path changed
in meaningful ways. In Chapter 8, I narrated how Julie used a
female hummingbird and a heron as gifts and alerted me
about this through telepathy.

It is not surprising that our loved ones in the soul

dimension use birds to connect with us. The beauty and
grace of birds is something people admire instinctively and
their flight represents the freedom of souls after this life.
As will be seen from all the ADCs shared in this chapter,
some spirit communications through birds are dramatic and
others are soothing, but all of the contacts are special.

In the months that followed, Earl and I were blessed with

many signs from Julie through birds in flight. In particular,
knowing that we loved herons, Julie blessed us with
sightings of herons as we had never experienced before.
When we walked at a park and talked about Julie (which we
did all the time), a blue heron would invariably fly in very
low right in front of us and we would catch our breath and
feel Julie’s love through this graceful flying creature so close
to us, so powerful, yet so delicate.

Instinctively, we felt Julie trying to tell us what her new

world was like—showing us vividly its freedom, its beauty,
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and its grace. We not only made these connections between

the heron and Julie’s dimension in our minds, we felt them in
our hearts. When we visited Jekyll Island in Julie’s memory,
the same thing would happen with white herons, or more
accurately great white egrets. On the day of our arrival and
the day of our departure, these beautiful birds would fly low
across the road or expressway in front of our car, as they had
never done before. It was magical and comforting.

Months later after returning to work, whenever I was

driving home still sad and missing Julie, I would spot a blue
heron flying very high and yet crossing my car’s path where
I could see it. It touched me every single time that Julie could
find a heron even a distance from the river and show it to
me, high above downtown, just to comfort me.

Even when Earl and I traveled to Europe on a teaching

assignment I had every summer for a few years, herons flew
close over us, especially when we thought or talked about
Julie. Once, in the Netherlands, as we were walking near a
wide river, a blue heron flew alongside. We both looked at it
and smiled at each other, knowingly and happily. But then
I thought to myself that it might not have been Julie’s
communication. After all, this was a river and herons do fly
over water and this bird was not particularly close to us.

It made me a little sad to not know whether Julie was

with us at that moment. Immediately, the heron turned from
its flight along the river, flew straight toward the bank,
circled over our heads, back to the middle of the river, and
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continued its path downstream. As we both looked up at it,

I excitedly told Earl what I had been thinking a moment ago.
We were both delighted and grateful to Julie for assuring us
of her presence in such a spectacular way.

Two years later, in Germany, we had an identical

experience. This time we were sitting on a bench and
watching a blue heron fly over a river. I thought to myself
that there was a difference now; our initial mourning was
over. And Julie had assured us of her wellbeing and her
connection to us in so many ways that she did not need to
change a heron’s flight path to make her point any more.

By this time, I had gone through much reflection and

knew that I would never ask Julie for a sign unless I was in a
desperate situation because I did not want her to expend her
energy unnecessarily. Yet, I also knew that she gave these
gifts of love willingly and joyously, just as she enjoyed giving
us beautiful, handmade gifts and a great deal of love during
her physical life here.

Despite all this, I became sad, thinking I would never

know any more when I saw a heron, if Julie was also around.
I would not ask that of her even though part of me knew she
enjoys doing special things for us. To my relief, joy, and
gratitude, the heron immediately veered and came toward
us, circled over our heads, and then flew back in exactly the
same way as it had done two years ago in another country.
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On a crowded tourist boat on a canal in Amsterdam, a

blue heron flew low over the boat, and as we looked up at it,
squeezing each other’s hand quietly to acknowledge Julie’s
presence, we saw a gilded angel statue very high on a
building, glinting with the sun’s rays. We would have missed
this beautiful and meaningful sight had we not looked up at
that moment. So not only did Julie give us the gift of a
beautiful heron in flight, she also showed us a shining,
golden statue of an angel blessing the populace below, and
an assurance that the heron sighting was also her gift.

Several years after Julie’s transition, we do not see blue

herons as often as we used to. The parks near our home have
become crowded and wildlife is not as easy to spot as it was
earlier. I am grateful the herons were around when we
needed them and Julie could gently guide them to fly near us
and warm our hearts with her love. But the herons are not
gone completely and Julie’s love and attentiveness in
connecting through them still continues.

For example, one day we were delighted to see a blue

heron catching fish in a park near our home. By now we just
enjoyed looking at herons whenever we saw them, and I was
careful not to ask myself if Julie was around so I would not
bother her needlessly. We had planned to sit on a swing but
because the swing was too close to where the heron was, we
sat on a bench a little distance off so as not to disturb it, and
watched the heron from afar.
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To our surprise, the heron started walking along the

bank of the cove all the way to us and stopped when it got
very close. This was highly unusual behavior for herons,
which tend to be reclusive. It caught eight fish in a row as we
watched fascinated, and then flew away. We thanked Julie
and hugged each other, remarking that eight was another
sign from Julie, as it was her birth date. As we noted that, a
flock of loudly honking geese appeared out of nowhere and
flew very low over us. Julie had often used low flying, loudly
honking geese to connect with us in the early years
whenever we were talking intently about her on our walks.

A few years ago, we sat on a park bench watching the sun

glint on the river, and I said to Earl that we had not seen a
blue heron in a long time. I immediately added, “Julie, if
you’re listening, this is not an indirect way to ask for a sign.
I know you’re always with us, so please don’t take the
trouble to look for a heron.” Earl smiled at this, but I added,
“No, really. I’m just commenting on how this area has
changed, that’s all. There’s all this new construction. I think
most of the herons have moved somewhere else.”

No herons appeared and I was truly glad that I had not

troubled Julie unnecessarily to produce a heron out of
nowhere. We came home and went back to work in our
respective offices. Close to dinnertime, I got up to ask Earl
if he was hungry, and on my way, I got distracted by some
repair work we had done recently on our front door
transom. I was not sure if it looked right and called out to
Earl to come look at it. He came out of his office and as he
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joined me, both of us looking up at the transom, a blue heron

flew close over the roof, beautifully framed by the transom.
It was perfectly timed. We thanked Julie from our hearts for
this unexpected, carefully orchestrated gift of love.

One of the most touching instances of a heron gift from

Julie was when Earl and I went to Hawaii to revisit our
wedding spot. (This trip itself was Julie’s gift, the magic of
which I described in Chapter 10.) Soon after our arrival, we
drove to the beautiful spot where we were married. Our
emotions were high and mixed; the last time we had been
here was on a joyous occasion, accompanied by Julie and
my mother. Julie had been wonderful on that trip and had
played a huge role in our wedding ceremony.

We had talked of visiting this beautiful place again one

day together. Now, we were here without her, at least in the
physical sense. We parked the rental car and walked to the
spot, a cliff’s edge overlooking the gorgeous Hanalei Bay. We
stood on the same spot where we were married, holding
hands, staring at the view, feeling sad to be there without
Julie. Out of nowhere a small white heron or egret flew in,
circled low over our heads, and was gone. I started sobbing
with joy. Julie was with us, no matter where we were. She
would always be with us.

Another special bird that Julie used in her early ADCs was
the female hummingbird. For some reason I thought the
male with its bright red band across its neck looked rather
harsh, and Julie seemed to know this. We had a feeder for
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hummingbirds on our door to the deck, but had only seen

these beautiful, tiny birds from a distance before Julie’s
transition because they are highly sensitive to movement,
and quick to take off if they see anyone. But Julie gave us
many magical hummingbird moments during each
hummingbird season. Female hummingbirds flew in
precisely when we were near the feeder. They seemed not
to see us and sat at the feeder only inches from our faces
for a long time. It was a precious gift to us.

As I watched them sip, their little throats and stomachs

heaving, inexplicably I would feel moved. There is something
analogous between female hummingbirds and Julie that I
find bittersweet. Perhaps it is because they look so fragile
and yet are strong as Julie showed herself to be during her
illness. And sadly, they stay only for a short while, and the
next moment are gone from sight, which is emblematic of
Julie’s too short life, sudden illness, and transition. At the
same time, they are beautiful and magical with iridescent
colors, they move rapidly, and when they hover they look
almost fairylike, all of which represent aspects of Julie’s
spiritual existence and fill me with joy.

Sometimes when we were eating, not standing close to

the feeder, a female hummingbird would arrive, sip the
nectar and before darting off, hover near the window close
to us, exactly as if someone was holding it there. Every time
this took place, the bird looked a little confused as to why it
was there, but we knew why and were grateful. Julie was
very gentle with it and it flew away strongly in a moment.
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Even my mother saw this on her visits and remarked, “Look,

Julie is holding the hummingbird for us!” The strange way
the hummingbird behaved told us instinctively of Julie’s
presence, and the joy that flooded us confirmed her gift.

Neither Earl nor I had seen baby birds before Julie’s

transition. Yet, soon after, we constantly began to see baby
birds in our backyard. They were old enough to fly and often
larger than their parents; it was their fluttering, the cheeping
sounds they made, their open beaks, and their being fed by
other birds that made us realize they were babies. We were
delighted to watch them and very much appreciated these
special gifts from Julie. We realized they were symbolic of
continued life and renewal in the spirit dimension.

My mother, who also had never seen baby birds in all her
life, saw them on returning home after Julie’s transition. Blue
songbirds built a nest at eye level in a potted tree on her
verandah and my mother was thrilled to watch the babies
being fed in the nest. It did not occur to her to connect this
with Julie, but when we told her of our own experiences with
baby birds and our conviction that these were Julie’s gifts to
all of us, she was happy and grateful.

Several times, when I was working too long in my home

office, Julie used birds to distract me into taking a break. The
first time, a cardinal sat on the window frame, bent down,
peeked in, and chirped at me. It was very odd behavior, but
then I realized Julie was using the cardinal to tell me to take
a break, something she often reminded me to do in her life
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on earth. Another time, a wren clung to the window screen

precariously, and made a grating sound. It made me laugh
and take a break—this time I knew right away it was Julie’s
doing. One day when I had been working far too long, a
chickadee flew right into the window screen and as I looked
up, it backed off and sat on a small light branch near the
window and swung upside down like a circus acrobat. I
laughed, thanked Julie, and took a much-needed break.

Once, on Jekyll Island, we were walking along a bike path

near the beach, and saw a big flock of pelicans (more than
twenty) flying over the ocean in a huge V formation. We
stopped and watched fascinated, admiring their grace,
beauty, and coordination. Suddenly, they flew in from the
ocean straight toward us, and as they approached us, their
formation changed to a perfect “J” as they had on the day of
Julie’s transition. Earl hugged me when he realized I was
speechless with emotion. The pelicans flew over us, then
veered and went back over the ocean, keeping the “J”
formation till they were out of sight. Tears streamed down
my face as we watched them, my heart filled with gratitude.

One Thanksgiving, while Earl and I had a simple,

vegetarian meal at home, we watched a variety of birds
feeding in our backyard. They stayed all day which was
most unusual. Earl said it made him feel very good that our
backyard was such a haven for wildlife and watching these
birds feed all day made it very special. After the birds were
gone at dusk, eight turtledoves landed on our deck and
settled down for the night. It looked like they were taking
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shelter against a bitter, cold wind. Their feathers were so

fluffed up and their feet hidden completely, that they looked
like eight little balls with tiny beaks and long tails. It was
comical, yet touching—a most unusual occurrence and sight.
We believe their taking shelter on our deck was Julie’s direct
response to the thoughts Earl had expressed earlier, and the
number eight was her autograph for this gift.

Julie has also used birdsong to show us her love, and

sometimes birds seem to “perform” for us. When my mother,
Earl, and I visited the Carter Center, where we had held
Julie’s memorial service, a northern mockingbird popped out
of a small fir tree just as we were passing by. It sat at the
very top and sang a beautiful melody for about three
minutes while we stood only two feet away and gazed at it.
Its beak was pointed skyward and we could see it opening
and closing to the music and its little chest was heaving
visibly. The song was superb and when the “performance”
was over, the bird looked straight at us. I half expected it to
take a bow and had to stop myself from applauding. As we
walked away quietly, we whispered delightedly to each
other and thanked Julie for this magical gift.

Bird ADCs Received by Others

Most people know intuitively that bird sightings after the

passing of loved ones are ADCs. A student related to me that
her little brother died when he was three and she was five. A
few days after his tragic death, a little bird got into the family
car, stayed a long time, and chirped at everyone. They all
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knew it was the little boy’s spirit arranging this to tell them
he was okay. She remembered that incident her whole life
and was grateful to know her brother was fine.

I came across many examples in my research as well.

An avid bird watcher had put up a thistle sock to attract
goldfinch but none had shown up. The day after her son
died, the sock was “covered with gorgeous bright yellow
goldfinch...gazing through the window giving me the feeling
that they were messengers from my son, saying all was
well.” Later, on the anniversary of her son’s death, the lady
visited her daughter. As they sat on the deck holding hands
and crying, they spotted a bright yellow goldfinch feather by
the mother’s foot, although there were no birds or even trees
in sight. The mother wrote that this “was only the beginning
of the gifts to help me know that my son is doing just fine.”
(undated letter to The Compassionate Friends, Julia Marie of
Portland, Oregon.)

Another mother, whose grownup son had loved flying

and the book Jonathan Livingston Seagull, saw a seagull on
her deck soon after her son’s death. It stared at her and later
followed her to work, flying over her car for several days.
She realized her son was using that special bird to let her
know he was well and able to fly again. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 196.)

Several people have had ADCs with hummingbirds.

After a couple lost two sons in an automobile accident, a
hummingbird flew into the house on the man’s first birthday
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after the accident. It sat on his finger for a long time, which is
very unusual behavior for a hummingbird. The couple knew
without a doubt that their sons were assuring them of their
loving presence and also wishing their stepfather on his
birthday. (LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 52, 115-116.)

A woman whose mother loved hummingbirds said that

she sensed her mother’s presence on her birthday when she
saw the first hummingbird of the season. The woman
became emotional and asked the bird to come near her and
it did so instantly. She then asked the bird to touch her and it
sat on her finger for a moment, and then on a branch close to
her hand. This ADC was the woman’s perfect birthday
present. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 197-199.)

Another woman reported that on visiting her cabin in the

woods, she encountered a hummingbird buzzing her for a
long time. Joyfully, she recognized her mother’s presence.
She noted that during her stay there, a hummingbird would
often behave oddly, staying close to the window and looking
in, just as we experienced with Julie. Although she correctly
intuited her mother’s presence, her interpretation was
different from ours. She thought the hummingbird was her
mother, even though at one time it was trapped in her cabin
for a long time and was exhausted as a result. She said she
was happy that her mother wanted to see the inside of her
cabin. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 160-163.)

But given the capabilities of angels and their higher-level

energy form, they can go through any physical matter
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effortlessly. So this woman’s mother could see the inside of

her cabin without taking the form of a hummingbird. Of
course spirits could also enter the bird’s body if they wished,
but this would only be temporary. Instead it makes sense
that spirits use their energy to direct and bring birds our
way to make us aware of our loved ones’ presence.

ADCs using birds appear to be particularly frequent at or

after funerals, memorial services, or ashes immersions. A
lady who had long wanted to see wild turkeys died without
seeing one. At her funeral, a large flock of wild turkeys flew
in and stood for several minutes before flying off. Her family
got the message that she was okay and everyone at the
funeral understood the sign across dimensions. (LaGrand,
ADC: Final Farewells, 92-93.)

A family scattered their father’s ashes in a gorge and were

amazed to see three hawks fly together out of the gorge and
separate above their heads in perfect formation like jets.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 195.) A
judge, whose wife had loved watching pelicans fly over their
home to a nearby beach, saw a lone pelican on the marsh
behind their home after his wife’s funeral. The bird flew
directly over him and he knew it was a sign from her.
(Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 105.)

Sinclair Browning, who edited a book on ADCs from

mothers to daughters, includes several such stories. A
woman who loved to feed geese used them to comfort her
family. As soon as she died, a flock of geese flew over the
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house and the family sensed she was telling them her soul
was free. Then, at her funeral, a flock of geese flew overhead
as the ceremony ended. Also, when the family installed a
bench in her honor instead of a headstone and gathered
there to say prayers, a flock of geese flew over them.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 130-131.)

Two sisters saw a couple of birds flying back and forth

behind stained glass windows at their mother’s memorial
service. Both sisters instinctively felt their parents telling
them they were together again. One of the women
remembered their mother saying that their father’s spirit
had often visited her as a seagull. (Browning, Feathers Brush
My Heart, 126-127.) This is yet another illustration of people
equating the bird or animal they see with the soul of their
departed loved one. But as discussed earlier, it is more likely
that the spirit is using these creatures to communicate. In
any case, the mother, and later, the daughters, correctly
sensed the presence of their loved ones.

Two other sisters saw a white dove on their patio on the

day of their mother’s cremation. The dove sat apart from the
other birds and stayed for a week. The sisters took it as a
sign from their mother that she was well. They never saw a
white dove again. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 69.)
I believe the mother was also indicating that she was at
peace by using a white dove symbolically. The fact that the
dove stayed for a whole week suggests that she wanted them
to know she was around to help them, especially through
their intense, initial mourning.
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A mother, who had promised her daughter that she would

send her a sign from beyond, delivered on the promise by
bringing a cardinal, their favorite bird, to the daughter’s
birdfeeder, where the daughter had never seen cardinals
before. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 21-22.)

ADCs using birds may also have tie-ins to the departed

soul. A woman, whose husband had often given her ceramic
birds as gifts, saw two little birds fly in and sit on his
gravestone when she was visiting the cemetery. She felt it
was a confirmation of his presence. Another woman driving
through a snowstorm saw a raven suddenly appear, peek
into the car, and fly off. She knew her recently departed
father’s spirit was making sure she was fine because he
always liked ravens. A third woman, who was looking for
her mother’s grave, finally found it when a bird flew in, sat
on the grave, and chirped. She knew her mother was still
helping her as she had in life. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells,
87-88, 95; LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 114).

Julie’s Bird ADC with Underlying Meanings

I end with a special, synchronous ADC (one that occurs

in quick response to a thought) that Julie gave me. I include
it here instead of in Chapter 15 because of all the lessons
contained in it. One day, sitting at the kitchen table, I was
looking out at the backyard and thinking of Julie. For some
reason, I thought of her in the swimming pool as a little girl,
splashing and giggling with her friends. The very next
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instant, about five or six chickadees flew into sight, landed

on the roof, and began the funniest antics. They slid down
the roof in an unbelievable way, and into the rain-filled
gutters, where they splashed (as birds do in a birdbath).
They then flew out, landed on the roof, and did it all over
again. I was amazed and touched. I knew Julie was telling me
she knew exactly what I had been thinking. I also sensed she
wanted me to know she was still happy in that innocent way,
delighting in magical pursuits with her angel companions,
who were now helping her with this communication to me.

The fact that she could arrange it so quickly after I

thought of her in the swimming pool taught me once again
how rapidly thought and action take place in the spirit
dimension. Later, through my extensive reading I discovered
that NDErs mention that communication is instantaneous
and time is irrelevant in the soul world. (Dabholkar, Life
Review: God’s Perfect Plan, 3.) In addition to all these lessons,
Julie was once again teaching me that being happy is critical
to one’s well-being no matter which dimension one is in,
physical or spiritual.
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Chapter 13
Butterfly Kisses to Dolphin Magic

Butterfly ADCs

We have also been blessed to receive many ADCs from

Julie through wildlife other than birds. I have already related
Julie’s butterfly kisses as part of her early ADCs in Chapter 5.

Soon after these incidents, I discovered that butterflies

are closely associated with the spirit world. Dr. Elizabeth
Kübler-Ross, who has written extensively about death and
dying, writes that our lives on earth are like caterpillars;
when we die, our bodies are shed just like cocoons and our
souls are set free like butterflies. She used this analogy in
talking to dying children and also reported that during the
Holocaust, children about to be sent to the gas chamber,
instinctively drew butterflies on the walls on their prison
cells, signifying that their souls would soon be free. (Kübler-
Ross, On Life After Death, 10-11, 43.)

This touching symbolism gave the butterflies we

increasingly encountered even more meaning. Especially in
the first couple of years after Julie’s transition, butterflies
seemed to deliberately cross our paths when we were
walking in a park. When we were talking about Julie or ADCs
in general, they flew alongside us for a long time. It was clear
Julie was using butterflies to let us know that although she
was free in a beautiful dimension, she was still with us.
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Julie also blessed us with many sightings of butterflies

that crossed directly in front of our car when we were
driving to work or the park, and especially when we took
trips. Typically, they crossed in front of the windshield from
side-to side, and it boggled our minds that they were not
hurt even when we were on an expressway. Yet, we knew
that they were in Julie’s gentle care and would not be hurt.
Sometimes, a Monarch butterfly flew straight toward us
when we were driving on the expressway. We watched it
approach from a distance and caught our breaths as it came
toward the windshield so rapidly and then flew smoothly
over the top of the car. Each time I experienced this, I was
filled with awe and deeply touched by Julie’s love signal.

When I was in my university office, I often saw a Monarch

butterfly outside my third floor office window, flying very
close to it, often toward it (and me), and the same thing
happened outside my classroom windows. The sight of these
butterflies approaching me single-mindedly even with the
glass between us, always filled with me with love.

In the first year after Julie’s transition, Earl and I had

gone to Sweden in late September. I had been invited by a
couple of universities there to share my research. We were
particularly missing Julie as she typically accompanied us on
our international trips. As we walked along a dark blue lake
late one afternoon, it was very cold, and despite all the
beauty around us, we suddenly felt empty and lost without
Julie. A butterfly came out of nowhere, even in that bitter
cold weather, crossed our path, and lifted our hearts.
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Another time, on a Jekyll Island beach one summer,

Earl and I were walking and joyously sharing some happy
memories of Julie. A beautiful butterfly came toward us from
the interior, weaving, and fighting the strong sea breeze. We
exclaimed in delight and thanked Julie. It stayed for a minute
around us, and then we watched it fly back to the vegetation
and sand dunes, a good distance away. This time it flew
swiftly, aided by the sea breeze on its return trip.

Once we were taking a car for repairs and driving in

separate cars so we could drop it off. I was driving behind
Earl and was worried about him because the car he was
driving had some serious problems. A Monarch butterfly
came out of nowhere and flew slowly over Earl’s car, so close
that it almost traced the car’s outline. I watched it and knew
it was Julie’s blessing, keeping him safe. She did the same
thing many times when he climbed a ladder to clean the
gutters on our house. I would look out of the window and
see a butterfly flying very close over his head and shoulders
but out of his sight. I realized it was meant to be a blessing
for him and a reassurance for me.

Several times, when Earl and I were at the kitchen table

and talking of Julie, a Monarch butterfly flew all around the
windows of the nook. Or, when Earl worked in the yard, I
peeked out and saw butterflies hovering over his head or
dipping down to “kiss” his hat. He was unaware of it but
happy to hear about it later.
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Once I saw a butterfly near a flowering bush as I sat in my

car at a traffic light. I was happy as always to see a butterfly
but wondered if it could count as Julie’s message as it had
not crossed my path and because Julie does not use
butterflies as signs as frequently as she did in the early
years. No sooner than I had the thought, the butterfly flew
across the front of my car, U-turned, and went back to the
bush. My eyes misted as I thanked Julie. It was exactly what
she did with the herons as related in the previous chapter.

In a similar incident, an elderly couple wondered if a

butterfly that came close to them and was now on a distant
bush indicated their grandson’s presence. The lady mentally
asked her grandson to tell them if he was near by sending
the butterfly to them again. Instantly, the butterfly flew back
close to her face. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 189.)

In another such instance, a man wondered if a butterfly

near him represented his daughter and asked her to come
closer, whereupon the butterfly immediately came to him
and sat on his finger. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello
From Heaven! 190.) As in the case of some people equating
birds with their loved ones, this man seemed to think the
butterfly was his daughter. In reality she was simply using
the butterfly to tell him she was near him. The important
thing is that he sensed her presence.

In a comparable case, a lady wrote that her mother who

was part Cherokee always said she would come back as a
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butterfly. When the family scattered the mother’s ashes,

a single black butterfly appeared, and on many other
occasions afterward. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart,
11.) The lady interpreted these butterfly sightings to mean
that the butterfly is indeed her mother. But actually the
mother’s spirit was bringing the butterflies to her. As in the
previous case, it is good that the lady realized her mother
was well and communicating with her.

Butterflies are often seen at funerals, memorial services,

and in cemeteries. Sometimes they stay by a bereaved
person’s side for an unusually long time, even perching
on shoulders. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 188, 190.) A couple returning from the funeral for
the husband’s father were stopped in traffic. They were
amazed to see a Monarch butterfly fly into their car and
sit on the dashboard. Both instinctively knew it was a sign
from his father. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 4-7.)

At their son’s funeral, the parents and all present were

moved when a Monarch butterfly appeared out of nowhere.
When the parents went back to the cemetery the next day,
the butterfly appeared again. (Martin and Romanowski,
Love Beyond Life, 104.)

A few months after her mother’s death, a woman was at

a picnic and encountered a butterfly that hovered over her
for hours and sat on her shoulder and knee. The woman
knew her mother was telling her she was with her. A few
weeks later her teenaged daughter reported that a butterfly
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flew into her classroom, circled her, landed on her shoulder

and head, and then flew out. The daughter who did not know
of her mother’s experience at the time also felt that her
grandmother had visited her. Later, the family was visited
by hummingbirds in much the same way and the woman
wondered if that implied a graduation for her mother’s
spirit. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 157, 159-160.)

It is true that spirits advance in heaven and perhaps the

mother did try to convey this. However, the two creatures
do not necessarily indicate a progression. We have been
blessed with butterflies and hummingbirds ever since
Julie’s transition. Both beautiful creatures are simply the
means for souls to connect joyfully to their loved ones.

Ladybugs

Julie has also used ladybugs to say “I love you.” When

Earl and I visited the Cumberland Falls in Kentucky, I got a
wonderful ladybug kiss from Julie. We were standing near
the falls gazing at a stunning rainbow that spanned the
narrow river, when I saw a ladybug single-mindedly flying
from the opposite bank, over the rainbow and toward me.
I stared fascinated and stood still as it came straight to my
cheek. I actually felt it sitting on my cheek for a moment as
Earl watched happily, and then it flew back across the river.

Ladybugs often crawled on the outside of my office

window at the university, which they had never done before.
They even appeared on objects I was holding while teaching
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in a classroom. Although I did not react observably, my heart

would sing with joy when this happened. Sometimes we saw
them on our car windows or they would alight on our arms
when we were walking. This also happened in Europe on
trips where I was invited as visiting scholar. Once in Europe,
a ladybug sat on Earl’s arm, then wandered to his shirt and
stayed on him for the major part of the day, to our delight.

Sitting on the front porch to get some sun at the start of

cold weather as Julie loved to do, I could not help thinking of
her and missing her. Immediately, ladybugs would appear,
settle on my arm, and warm my heart.

Other Wildlife

In Chapter 4, I shared how my father gave Earl and me

gifts of wildlife before Julie became ill. After Julie’s transition,
we have been blessed with many gifts of wildlife, which we
believe were from her. Sitting on benches in parks we have
watched fish jump way out of water continuously for a few
minutes when we talked of Julie. We felt instinctively that
Julie was saying hello, she was with us, and was happy.

We also have had magical sightings of foxes in our own

backyard that we knew were Julie’s gifts. Once, when I was
working in my office at home, I turned to the window as if on
cue just in time to see a fox running by. I got up and slowly
walked to the window and knelt down so I would not look
threatening to it if it were to turn back. To my amazement,
the fox stopped, walked back, drank water out of a
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downspout from the house, and then walked toward the

window and we both stared at each other, only a few feet
apart. It was beautifully red, with a long bushy white tail,
black legs, and intelligent eyes. It was graceful, yet playful.
I wished I had a camera handy but I dared not move. After
a couple of minutes, it trotted off and then raced off.

Another time, Earl and I were at the kitchen table having

a snack and reading. A huge orange leaf floated past the
windows all around us—very unlike a leaf and more like a
butterfly. We looked up and simultaneously said, “Julie!” The
next instant, a beautiful red fox darted out of the woods in
the back. We would have missed it if we had not looked up.
It abruptly stopped running, sat down, looked straight at us
(from a distance), then got up and ran away.

We have also been blessed with deer sightings, many of

them from our home, which had never happened before.
One day I saw a deer in the distance, perfectly posed and
looking to the right. I ran to get our camera with a zoom
lens, praying the deer would stay. It was exactly in the same
position when I returned, standing as if it was posing. I took
a picture and laughingly said, “Now, how about looking the
other way?” Instantly it turned its head to the left. As soon as
I got a second photo, it turned back to the right and started
to eat the grass. It was a lovely connection to the many
pictures I took of Julie when she was growing up and often
asked her to look this way or that.
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Once when I was ill and Earl was worried about me,
he wandered into the kitchen and saw two deer in our
backyard, staring intently at the bedroom where I was
sleeping. He instantly felt peaceful, taking it as a sign that
angels were watching over me. On a different occasion,
when both of us were working in our respective offices at
home, I sensed that Julie was telling me to go quickly to the
kitchen. So I called out to Earl and we sat at the kitchen table,
gazing at the backyard, not knowing quite what to expect.
The next moment, eight deer appeared from one end of the
backyard and ran through the other end. We had never seen
so many deer at once ever before, and would have missed
this magical moment had I not felt Julie’s urging.

Others have had ADCs with deer as well, and for one
woman it was the first sign from her son. He had loved deer
and even wore a deer pin. Early in her grief, the woman had
pulled over to the side of a road and was praying for a sign
from her son. Suddenly, a female deer and a fawn appeared
close to her and stared at her for a long time. The woman
knew her son was telling her that he was okay. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 200.) The authors do
not discuss this explicitly, but the choice of a female deer and
fawn together as a sign further conveys that the son was not
just okay; he was with his mother even though he was in the
soul dimension.

Julie has also used rabbits to say she is with us and knows
what we are thinking. A good example of this happened one
winter when we had a thick layer of snow on the ground.
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The snow covered backyard looked like a picture postcard.

But even as I took a photograph I worried about the rabbits
and the birds we usually saw there. I sadly wondered
where they were and if they were warm. The next instant
two rabbits bounded out of the woods and sat on the snowy
ground, and four birds flew in and sat on twigs, all of them
posing. I was amazed and quickly took another picture.
They waited another moment and were gone in a flash to
their warm hideouts. I knew that Julie had let me know the
rabbits and birds were fine by arranging this magical scene
of our snowy backyard, filled with wildlife. This is a good
example of a synchronous ADC, but it fits well here with
our other wildlife ADCs.

I also read about an interesting rabbit ADC. Right after

her mother’s death, a woman drove home from the hospital
at night and saw a rabbit sitting in her driveway that stayed
and looked at her while she got out of the car and went
inside. She realized intuitively that her mother was telling
her she was okay. The next day as she sorted her mother’s
things, she was amazed by the rabbit symbol on many of her
mother’s possessions. She had not realized how much her
mother loved rabbits and it was a confirmation of her
intuitive understanding of her mother’s contact the night
before. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 33-34.)

Dolphins

Last, but not the least, among our wildlife sightings are
Julie’s dolphin gifts. In addition to the instinctive joy most
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people feel on seeing dolphins, there is symbolism here, as in

the case of birds and butterflies. Birds indicate the flight and
soaring of spirits, butterflies denote the freedom of a newly
released soul, and dolphins symbolize intelligence combined
with joy and playfulness, which well represents the magic of
the spirit realm.

Every time we see a dolphin, we sense Julie’s presence.

As I mentioned in Chapter 8, during our early visits to Jekyll
Island, I often got an irresistible urge to go walk on a
particular beach, and when we got there, we saw dolphins.
Even now, they sometimes appear when we are walking
quietly along the seashore thinking of Julie. They suddenly
pop up close to us and swim alongside for a long time. Other
times, a seagull will fly straight at us making us look up and
we spot dolphins in the distance that we would have missed.

I came across dolphin ADCs in my reading as well. Right

after immersing their son’s ashes, a couple was rewarded
with the appearance of a school of dolphins that escorted
their boat back to the marina. Their son had loved swimming
with a dolphin when he was a child. A few years later the
same couple asked for another sign from their son when
they were on a beach. Immediately, a lone dolphin appeared,
swam toward them, and then glided away. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 196-197.)

From Julie’s messages through electronic devices, we

know that Julie is usually accompanied by other angels, who
are our soul mates as well. We know they often act as our
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guardian angels, along with Julie and my father. And, in

relation to wildlife, any time there is a complex ADC
involving several creatures, we realize Julie has help from
these angels. The dolphin ADC related above suggests such
help in the first case, where an entire school of dolphins
followed the parents’ boat. There are similar ADCs with
flocks of birds that suggest the same phenomenon (see
Chapter 12), as does our own experience below.

The one time we saw a large school of dolphins close to us

was in Florida where I had to attend a conference to accept a
writing award. It was only a little over a year after Julie’s
transition and attending a conference was not easy. My
mother was visiting, and came along with Earl and me. The
three of us were sitting on the beach, remembering Julie. No
one else was around as it was dinnertime. Suddenly, a school
of dolphins appeared right in front of us and stopped there,
to our great delight. As we watched the dolphins frolic and
jump I got choked up because it seemed to be a special
performance just for us, just as the birdsong had been at the
Carter Center. The dolphins stayed awhile and we were
entranced by their grace and beauty. One dolphin then dived
under and stuck its tail out. It slowly waved its tail at us and
took our breath away. We realized Julie was telling us they
were leaving, and the entire school immediately started to
swim away. We were overcome with gratitude for Julie’s
(and her fellow angels’) carefully orchestrated gift of love.
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Chapter 14
From Roses to Rainbows

Plants and Flowers

In Chapter 5, I narrated how the floral arrangement from

Julie’s memorial service was resurrected to assuage my grief.
I also shared how Julie used a plant to wish me on the first
Mother’s Day after her transition, and how the hyacinths
Earl bought for me in the Netherlands flooded our room with
their fragrance when we were missing Julie.

A few months later, a potted palm we had, that had never

borne flowers, unexpectedly bloomed. Julie had picked it out
years before at the nursery when it was very small. Now, it
was tall enough to touch the ceiling and the fragrance of the
blossoms flooded the house and touched us deeply. It never
blossomed again.

At the conference mentioned in Chapter 13, I was sadly

getting ready to go present my paper that had won an
award. But when I stepped out of the room, someone else’s
finished breakfast tray was right next to our door instead of
theirs, and had a beautiful, pink rose in a tiny, one-inch tall
vase. Instinctively I knew that the tray’s strange position was
intended so I would not miss Julie’s gift of love before my
presentation, just as I used to give Julie a rose before her
school performances. I felt blessed and shook off my sadness
as I got ready to present. From previous experience, I knew
such flowers and vases are complimentary for hotel guests;
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so I kept the rose with its little vase and cherished Julie’s
thoughtful gift. I still use that vase whenever I find any tiny
flower or leaf marked with Julie’s “message” (as described
later in this chapter).

Shortly after this, Earl and I went to Oregon as a memorial

visit and toured all the places we had seen there with Julie.
On the first day we bought three beautiful long-stemmed
roses and took pictures of them in all the spots where we
had photographed Julie and us. The experience was very
moving for us. The roses stayed fresh throughout our stay.
Just as we were wondering what to do with them on the day
we were checking out, a hotel employee knocked on our
door and brought us a tall, slim vase unasked, so we could
take the roses home. He probably saw us wandering through
the hotel with the flowers, but we also saw Julie’s hand in
this perfectly timed, kind gesture from a stranger.

We came across some huge, colorful and fragrant flowers

on many of our trips in the first few years. Locals always
remarked that it was unusual for these flowers to be
blooming when we saw them. We realized they were Julie’s
gift to us and found they were aptly called “angel trumpets.”
We planted one in our own yard and when my mother was
visiting, it produced three perfect flowers, even though the
plant was very small. We were touched that Julie provided a
beautiful flower for each of us. It never flowered again.

Julie has also given us flowers through other people. On

our first visit to Keukenhof in the Netherlands, we walked
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about enjoying the rainbow colors created by the tulip

gardens. A flower seller surprised me by giving me some
freshly cut paperwhites (small, white daffodils with a bright
yellow center) as we were passing by. I had never seen these
flowers before, and once again small, white, fragrant flowers
made a lovely connection with Julie. There was no reason for
him to single me out other than a gentle nudge from Julie.
There were signs everywhere not to pick flowers and I got
dirty looks from visitors as I walked in the park hugging my
paperwhites and smelling them constantly. I was so happy
I did not mind. After this incident, we ordered these flower
bulbs many times and richly enjoyed their beauty and
fragrance, and most of all their connection to Julie.

Once we visited a bird sanctuary and thought a lot

about Julie as we gazed at the beautiful birds roosting. On
returning to our car, we found the parking area empty and
there were bunches of huge azaleas propped up on our
windshield. We knew that Julie had inspired some kind
people we had spotted earlier in the sanctuary to leave us
these beautiful flowers to brighten our day.

Julie has also given us myriads of messages of love, such

as hearts or “J”s carved or created in plants. This happened
frequently in the first few years. Typically, we would see a
leaf in one of our potted plants or on our walks, with a
perfect heart (or J) cut out (or dried up). Once when we
missed her sign and were getting ready to go to Jekyll Island,
Julie had the small leaf fall off, even though it was not at the
falling-off stage. It was a citroen (lemon) plant we had grown
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from seeds bought in Europe, and when I went to pick it up,

I saw the floor through the tiny but perfectly cut out heart.
Delighted, I took the leaf along in the little, precious vase I
mentioned earlier and enjoyed its strong, lemony smell on
the way and during our stay on Jekyll Island.

When visiting the Carter Center where we had held Julie’s

memorial service, Earl and I stood under a curly willow tree,
so called because its branches are curled like ringlets. They
reminded us of Julie’s beautiful hair before she lost it to
chemo. As we gazed sadly at a pond nearby, I suddenly felt a
strong urge to look up and saw this curly branch right above
my head shaped perfectly like a heart. We were amazed and
grateful to Julie for showing us her gift of love and telling us
through that gift not to be sad, and that she was with us still.

Once, when I was stopped at an intersection on campus,

a bird flew over and dropped what looked like half-eaten
bright-red fruit. It fell on my windshield in the perfect shape
of a heart, and I was thrilled with Julie’s presence as well as
her ingenuity. It seems that Julie, with lightning speed,
directed the red, soft berries to my windshield and shaped
them into a perfect heart.

A few times while walking in wooded areas, a piece of

bark has fallen off, roughly in the shape of an angel, right in
front of us. While in California on a research trip, we were
admiring sycamore trees that Julie loved because their bark
peels easily and is silky and shiny. As we talked about how
Julie would have peeled some bark off had she been with us,
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a piece of bark fell gently on my head and it was very clearly

in the shape of an angel. We were delighted to know our
angel was with us and knew precisely what we were saying.

In the first few years after Julie’s transition, every fall,

huge orange leaves floated over our windshield (or around
our kitchen windows), exactly as butterflies did in the
summer. When we had visited Cumberland Falls, just as
were walking out of the park’s green area, a huge, orange
leaf fell on me, touched my cheek and stayed there for a
couple of seconds (in an unreal way), then slowly fell to the
ground. I palpably felt Julie with me, caressing my cheek.
Without knowing why, I urged Earl and we ran back to look
at the falls one last time. To our delight, we saw the glorious,
river-spanning rainbow I mentioned in Chapter 13, where,
as we gazed at the rainbow, I got my amazing ladybug kiss
from Julie.

Another time, when I was working in my office on

campus, a huge leaf fell slowly along the window, as if
caressing me indirectly. It was even more incredible because
there were no tall trees with that kind of leaf nearby. In a
similar incident, while walking in a park, a huge leaf came
out of nowhere in front of and above us, swooped down
toward us in a serpentine path, and touched Earl on the
chest, right near his heart. There were no deciduous trees
within two hundred yards, only evergreens, so it was all the
more remarkable.
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Using plants or flowers is a common ADC theme, typically

soon after the death of the loved one. A grieving mother was
unable to throw away a dead chrysanthemum that had
rested on her son’s coffin. So she put it in fresh water and the
next day it was blooming with vigor which she realized was
a sign from her son that he was okay. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 193-194.)

Another woman had been unable to grow African Violets

even though her mother grew them all the time. Two weeks
after her mother’s death, however, the daughter’s plant was
full of blooms, even without going through the budding
process. The daughter recognized the sign from her mother.
(LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 64-70.)

A man often gave his wife a single red rose. On the day of
his funeral, on a bitterly cold day, his widow found a single
rosebud blooming on the rosebush outside their bedroom
and knew her husband was reassuring her of his love.
(Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 106.)

An avid gardener had two healthy plants that she had

been unable to identify and which had never bloomed.
Right after her mother died, one of the plants bloomed with
beautiful pink flowers and she took that as a sign of her
mother’s continued life. On discovering that the flower was
called resurrection lily, she was happy at this further
confirmation that her mother continued to live. Two years
later when her father died, the other plant bloomed, this
time with two stalks covered with flowers, convincing the
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woman that her parents were telling her they were together.
Neither plant ever bloomed again. (Browning, Feathers
Brush My Heart, 51-53.)

A couple had a cactus that had never bloomed. After the

wife died, the man found the cactus suddenly blooming in
profusion on her birthday when he returned from a trip to a
lonely house. It was even more remarkable because that
particular cactus was supposed to bloom in December and
this was June. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 194.)

Sometimes, ADCs through flowers take place long after

the passing of the loved one. A woman found her mother’s
joya plant blooming on her own birthday a year after her
mother’s death. Apparently the woman did not realize at
first that this was an ADC from her mother. As the plant had
not bloomed in years, she wished she could have shared this
special event with her mother whom she missed sorely. Soon
after, in going through her mother’s belongings, she was
delighted to find a business card with “joya blooming” in her
mother’s handwriting on the back of it. It made her happy to
know that her mother knew precisely what was going on in
her life. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 201-202.)
Although the writer does not say this, it is evident that the
mother’s spirit not only knew about the plant blooming but
that she made it bloom for her daughter’s birthday.

A mother, whose son always gave people roses, was

praying one day for a sign from him. As she walked to her
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car, she found a rose on her windshield. It is likely that her

son prompted a kind soul to leave the rose for her just as
Julie did for us with the azaleas. The mother was very happy
and reported that the rose never faded. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 200.)

Another departed son’s spirit telepathically requested

his grandmother to get a red rose for his mother on her
birthday, and even guided her to a flower shop. His grieving
mother, who had specifically said she did not want any gifts
because her son was no longer with her, was delighted at
this wonderfully arranged gift of love. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 43.)

A woman, who planted an angel-wing begonia in her

mother’s memory, saw it bloom only the first year but did
not connect this with an ADC. Fifteen years later, the woman
had a miscarriage and in her grief she thought deeply about
her mother. To her surprise and delight, the plant bloomed
again. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 97-98.)
The authors do not say this explicitly, but the woman
presumably understood that even the first blooming had
been an ADC from her mother. It is clear that her mother’s
spirit was watching over her all these years and telling her
so, and also telling her that her lost baby’s spirit was fine.

Another story of ADCs through flowers is linked to a

special bond a mother and daughter had shared. As a little
girl, the daughter used to gather bunches of yellow
dandelion flowers for her mother, who always received them
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with love and joy, and put them with great care in a cut-glass
vase. And as soon as they wilted, the little girl would gather
more of them for her beloved mother. After her mother’s
passing, the woman has found dandelions everywhere she
goes, even in the cold of winter and in rocky places with little
vegetation. She feels blessed to know her mother is always
with her, expressing her love in this unique way. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 224-225.)

The Moon

In Chapter 3, I wrote about the sacred association we felt

between Julie and the moon. In Chapter 5, I expanded on this
association in describing Julie’s early ADCs to us. Here I will
share other incidents involving Julie and the moon.

When we traveled within Europe in the first year, I longed

to see the moon as a strong connection to Julie. We know
Julie understood this because she always made it possible to
see the moon. If we traveled by train and our seats were on
the right, the moon was visible from the right. If the seats
were on the left, the moon was visible only from that side.
The tracks and directions from one town to another were
not easy to figure out, but we did not need to. The moon was
always on our side. Julie must have guided us to the correct
seats without our knowledge.

Any time we stayed at a hotel in Europe, the windows of

our room always looked out on the moon so we could see it
before we went to bed. It did not matter whether it was a
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crescent moon or full, which meant a western or eastern sky

respectively, but again, we did not figure this out. Julie did it
for us. Once, we got a hotel room where there was no view
worth speaking of from the one tiny window. The roof and
wall of another building were right outside and all you
could see was a small, triangular patch of cloudy sky. I felt
claustrophobic and sad, not being able to see the sky
properly. But to our amazement, as we stared sadly out of
the window, the clouds parted and there in that extremely
small space was the crescent moon, fitting just right. It was
awe-inspiring. Had we got a room on the other side with the
larger windows and better overall views, we would have
missed the precious moon.

The same thing happened when we were back home,

especially during the first year. We would be at different
parks and pick any random bench to sit on when it was
getting dark, and the perfect full moon, pink and golden,
would rise from the horizon right before our eyes. Had
we sat on the opposite side, we would have missed the
moonrise. This was before I started to keep track of full
moon nights and moonrise timings so we could plan to
view the rising moon without troubling Julie to arrange
it for us, as she did for quite some time.

Early in our healing, we were pensively talking about

Julie one morning as Earl got ready to leave for work before
sunrise. He stepped out to see a sky studded with stars and a
half moon that looked exactly like a face peeking over a wall.
He called out to me and we both laughed because it looked
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so funny. We felt warm and happy as we realized that Julie

was telling us not to have such heavy hearts.

Before we actually made it to Cumberland Falls, we had

cancelled an upcoming trip to that place, where we had
hoped to see the famous “moonbow,” a silvery arc across the
falls under the light of the full moon. We were disappointed
that we could not go, but the next morning when Earl
stepped out again before sunrise, he was delighted to see a
luminous ring around the moon, not close to it as is normal,
but a glowing circular band of light far from the moon. He
called out to me and as we gazed at this most unusual sight
(something we had never seen before or since), we realized
that it was our own moonbow. It looked like a halo, which
gave it even more meaning, and we thanked our angel for
this heavenly gift.

As mentioned in Chapter 3, many friends have told us

they associate the full moon with Julie ever since her
transition. The story that most touched my heart was from
a very close friend of Julie’s who told us that he went to a
beach on a full moon night and palpably felt her spirit
presence as the moonlight danced on the waves at his feet.
We too have watched the full moon rise from behind an
ocean and felt warmed with Julie’s presence as fingers of
glittery silver reached out to us across the waves.

I have read of only one ADC associated with the moon,

but it is certainly worth including. As a child, a woman had
connected with her grandmother through the moon they
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could both see no matter how far apart they were. Many
years later, when she was sorely missing her grandmother
who had just died, the woman was blessed with the shining
full moon, despite it being a rainy night. (Miller, Lewis, and
Sander, eds., Heavenly Miracles, 11-13.)

Sunlight

The reader is already aware of the early, special ADCs

Julie gave us through sunlight, as reported in Chapter 5.
Here I will share other ADCs through sunlight that we have
received from Julie.

A few months after Julie’s transition, I wondered where

exactly she was and how often she visited us. Immediately,
I saw sunlight streaming in through the transom, and it
created a lighted silhouette of an angel with wings, next to
an image of an open door. It was easy for me to interpret the
image that Julie created for me. She could go back and forth
effortlessly between the dimensions and she visited us all
the time. I was delighted with Julie’s synchronous response.
But I include this ADC here as a nice start to this section.

Another time, I saw sunlight shining in an intricate

pattern on a beloved wedding photograph of Earl and me
with Julie. The sunlight made a perfect heart that
encompassed Earl and me, and it bathed Julie in a broad
streak of light going into the sky. We were deeply touched
by the meaningful messages in the design of light on that
photo, which incidentally lasted a long time.
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Two years after Julie’s passing, Earl was sleeping during

the day, recovering from complicated eye surgery. While he
was resting in bed, I peeked in on him, terribly worried, and
was amazed by what I saw. A framed photograph of little
Julie, when she was five years old, was on the wall near him.
It had areas of bright sunlight on it that looked precisely like
golden angel wings and a continuation of her dress like a
golden full-length gown. It was a wonderful message that
our beloved Angel was watching over him and eased my
worry about his recovery. I did not take a picture, afraid that
the slightest sound might wake Earl from his much needed
sleep. We never saw such patterns again from that photo.

Others have felt similarly blessed when golden sunlight

has streamed onto their departed loved one’s ashes or
memorial stone. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 193.) Even though the authors do not explicitly say
this, such instances appear to relay symbolically that the
departed one is in heaven, or with the Light.

At one grandmother’s funeral, rays of sunlight poured

through the clouds and a black squirrel ran over her grave
and the adjacent grave of the grandfather. The family
recognized that the grandfather was there, because he had
loved squirrels in life. They felt he was assuring them he
would take care of his wife now. (LaGrand, ADC: Final
Farewells, 87-88.)
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Sunsets

The bereaved have also felt their loved ones’ presence

through sunsets. A daughter wrote that her mother’s passing
was followed by the most beautiful sunset she had ever seen
and she took that as a sign that all was well with her mother.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 30.)

We have seen many spectacular sunsets in the early years

after Julie’s transition. On the first anniversary of Julie’s
transition, we walked on the main beach on Jekyll Island,
looking pensively at the ocean where we had immersed her
ashes. We returned from our walk still focused on the day
and its meaning for us for the rest of our life.

Suddenly, the hotel’s windows lit up with the setting sun

and the entire sky behind the building turned golden-red. As
we gazed at the scene entranced, a seagull, backlit by the
sun’s long golden fingers, flew directly toward us and looked
like it was made of light. It was all magical and meaningful.

Rainbows

Several bereaved people have seen beautiful rainbows

and knew instinctively that these were gifts of love from
their departed loved ones. A mother saw a tiny rainbow in
the middle of December in Michigan and knew her departed
son had given her a birthday gift. A family saw a rainbow at
the cemetery on the anniversary of their child’s passing, and
were comforted. A widow, upset because she thought her
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late husband could not see their new grandbaby, saw a

rainbow over the hospital, showing her that he was well
aware of the baby. A couple, who released a helium balloon
in their daughter’s memory and wished her “lots of
rainbows,” immediately saw a sky-spanning rainbow that
lasted a long time. After a teenager died from an overdose
of pills, his grieving mother saw a double rainbow. She
interpreted this heavenly sign as her son’s being with his
departed grandfather and that all was well. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 191-193, 236, 322.)

In Chapter 4, I narrated the incident of the wondrous

sky-spanning rainbow my father gave me on Earl’s and my
wedding day. It was given as an instantaneous answer to my
request for his blessing.

As for Julie, she loved to draw and paint rainbows when

she was a little girl, and since her transition, she has used
rainbows as a magical and consistent sign of her love for us.
We have seen many small rainbows in the clouds, especially
in the first few years. Sometimes I saw a circular rainbow
around the sun, or just pieces of it on either side of the sun.

We also saw rainbows in the house. Once, a huge rainbow

appeared on my office ceiling. I did not discover the physical
source of it and never saw it again. At other times, I saw tiny
rainbows in Earl’s glasses or in some object near me. Julie
also made rainbows appear in my favorite photos and
emanate from them onto my desk. Every time I was touched
by Julie’s showering of affection through such heavenly gifts.
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Once, when visiting my mother on her farm in India, I

kept hearing “rainbow” in my mind as Earl and I set out for
our evening walk along the nearby lake. I was so sure we
would see a rainbow and wanted to surprise Earl but when
we got to the lakeshore only a couple of minutes later, there
was no rainbow. Still I kept hearing the word in my mind
and told Earl about it. We wondered whether Julie meant it
symbolically as in “bright days ahead.” After a few minutes of
gazing at the beautiful lake, we turned to look around before
walking further, and right behind us, over the mountains in
the distance was a brilliant rainbow. We rushed back to tell
my mother and she was able to see it from the house as well.
The rainbow lasted several more minutes and three of us
were delighted and grateful that Julie had alerted me and
kept at it until we saw this visual feast.

Another time too, Julie let me know about a rainbow

through telepathy. We were home and I kept hearing
“rainbow” in my mind. I was sure Julie was telling me there
was a rainbow to be seen but after rushing around the house
and looking out of every window, I did not know where to go
to find it. I suggested to Earl that we just drive to all the
nearby parks and look, and we set out immediately. As we
drove to the park nearest to our home, we saw an enormous,
sky-spanning double rainbow. We parked, got out of the car
and admired it happily and thankfully. To our astonishment,
it lasted nearly half an hour! In my haste to leave the house
quickly, I had not taken a camera along and later did not
want to go back to get it, because I had no idea the rainbow
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would last that long. Still, the memory of that glorious

splendor in the sky and of our angel telling me of it remains
imprinted on my heart.

Once on the way to Jekyll Island, I had a strange and

uneasy feeling about my mother. Due to the time difference,
we could not call to check on her right then. It worried me
greatly. As we kept driving, after an hour or so, I suddenly
felt an urge to take an exit. I rationalized that we could walk
a bit to relieve my stress. Earl thought we could also fill gas.
Just as we pulled into the gas station, we saw a sky-spanning
rainbow that was not visible from the expressway. We knew
Julie made us take that exit so we could see this beautiful
rainbow and know that all was well. There was no question
that Julie was telling us that my mother was fine; I felt
instantly at peace. Later, on calling my mother, we found
that she had indeed suddenly taken ill but was now past
the serious stage and well on her way to recovery.

After writing our novel Dreamer (the second book we

wrote as part of our healing process), Earl and I wanted a
lake picture for the cover to tie in to the story. We drove to
Cove Lake in Tennessee, a beautiful spot with mountains in
the background, and swans and geese in the lake. The book
was very special to us because it dealt with ADCs, we had
written it as part of our healing process, and Julie had
inspired us in writing it. All the lake pictures we took were
pretty and we chose one at random, or so we thought. Later,
we noticed a tiny rainbow in the water in this photograph
alone. We knew it was Julie’s love signature and that she had
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guided our selection. Still later, we replaced this picture with

one of the full moon above water, which also was Julie’s gift.

Special Clouds

The morning after her mother died, a woman saw a bright

orange cloud right outside her window even though the rest
of the sky was cloudless. She felt strongly that it was a sign
from her mother. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 156.)

We have seen many J-shaped clouds or clouds shaped like

angels or hearts in the first few years after Julie’s transition.
We knew each time, that Julie was telling us she was with us.

After completing our first two fiction books Time After

Time and Dreamer, which we wrote as part of our healing
process, Earl and I were walking in a field and the sky was
completely cloudy. But suddenly, there was a patch of bright
blue sky, shaped perfectly like a heart, in the middle of all
those white clouds. It exhilarated us to see it and we
gratefully acknowledged Julie’s blessing for our books. We
knew she was telling us that it was important to write these
books for our own healing; that these were projects worth
doing even if they helped only a few people understand the
spirit world better; and that the books would always have a
heart connection with her.
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Chapter 15
Unusual Spirit Communications

In this chapter I include ADCs that are unusual. I start

with ADCs that are synchronous with a thought or question
by the bereaved person. Then I discuss complex spirit
communications, which take several steps to complete the
full message. Finally, I share angelic illusions created to help
loved ones in some way.

Synchronous Spirit Communications

Synchronous ADCs are those that seem to occur almost

simultaneously with a thought or silent question posed by
the person who receives the message. Actually the ADC is in
response to the thought, but it happens so quickly that it
appears to be concurrent. These messages may be given
through birds, other wildlife, sunlight, or something else, but
they are included here because of their synchronicity.

As related in Chapter 4, the deer and the tiny frog that we

saw right after wishing we could see these, are wonderful
examples of synchronicity, given by my father’s spirit, as is
the sky-spanning rainbow in answer to my asking for his
blessing. As shared in Chapter 5, Julie’s ADCs through
sunlight, first at her memorial service, then on our kitchen
wall, and on a bobbing plant on Mother’s Day, all in response
to my pleas, are remarkable instances of synchronicity. In
Chapter 12, the herons reacting to my questions and the
chickadees splashing in the roof gutter in answer to my
 261

thought are striking examples of synchronicity. The sudden

appearance of rabbits and birds in the backyard in reply to
my worry as shared in Chapter 13 is another such instance.
And finally, in Chapter 14, the magical replies through
sunlight to my questions or my worry round out this set.

I will share other examples of Julie’s synchronous gifts

here. One day, early in our grieving process, I was worried
about Earl driving home in a thunderstorm. Probably
wanting to calm me, Julie told me telepathically: “I’m with
you, Mom.” Not fully understanding the capabilities of our
angels at that time, I started to say (in my mind), “But
shouldn’t you be with Earl?” Even before I finished my
thought, I heard: “I’m with you both.” I was amazed by the
rapidity of that perfect response, anticipating and answering
my question before I completed it, and awed by Julie’s
magical abilities. I have reported many other instances that
have reinforced our knowledge of the amazing facilities of
our beloved angels and the nature of the spirit realm. Julie
wants us to comprehend not only the loving aspect of the
soul dimension, but the power and magic of it as well.

Also, early in our grieving, Julie gave us other kinds of

synchronous ADCs. She showed us a variety of hearts that
already existed in nature or on pavements and paths when
we were thinking of her. This direct response to our
thoughts of her is what made these instances synchronous.
Once during a work meeting when I was sad and missing
Julie very much, a colleague sitting across from me bent his
head low to write something down and I saw that the few
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hairs on the top of his balding head were in a clump and

made a perfect heart. I stared at his head incredulously and
was thankful that Julie had found a way to show me a heart
even in such an unlikely venue.

Another time, I was sitting at the kitchen table, gazing at

the back yard, and wished I could see a bird or two. I did not
mean it as a request to Julie; it was a simple wish as someone
might say, “I wish it would stop raining.” The next instant,
many birds appeared, sitting on branches and on the ground.
There were cardinals, bluejays, turtledoves, chickadees,
finches, and bluebirds, about twenty birds in all. The entire
scene was transformed into a magical, colorful painting and
the unbelievable speed with which my simple wish was
granted filled me with joy and wonder.

Walking on a beach on Jekyll Island one day, four pelicans

flew directly toward us. Watching them, I had a strong
feeling Julie was telling us she was close to us, accompanied
by three other angels. We watched them intently and as they
came very close, I took a picture. It was not on a digital
camera so I could not check the image. I thought, “It’ll be
blurry. They move too fast for our camera.” The next instant,
the pelicans stopped in mid-flight, literally froze, almost
directly overhead. I could hardly believe it, and yet I know
Julie can do anything she wants, and this time she had help
from our soul mate angels (as she did with the geese in her
very first ADC, the chickadees playing on the roof, and the
dolphins frolicking). I quickly took a second picture, and the
pelicans resumed their flight.
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One day while

working on this
book, I was
wondering if I
should use a
picture for the
dedication page
and if so, which
one. Just then Earl walked into my office and as I turned
around to talk to him, I saw a golden cone of sunlight shining
on a photograph of Julie and me, laughing heartily. The cone
exactly covered the two of us and the rest of the picture was
in shadow. I said, “How amazing! It looks like heavenly light
shining on us. I should take a picture of it.” But I still kept
sitting and gazed admiringly at it. Earl said, “Well, be quick,
it’s not going to stay that way.” I jumped up, grabbed the
camera, and captured a snapshot. The cone of light was
perfectly centered when I saw it, but had shifted slightly to
the right by the time I took the photo. Still, the picture makes
the point. The incident was a wonderful example of angelic
synchronicity. First, I wondered which picture to use, then
Earl promptly came in to make me turn around, and I saw
the cone of light impeccably placed on this photo.

I decided not to use it on the dedication page after all,

partly because our golden tresses beg the question of
whether we bleached our hair or doctored the photo, neither
of which was the case. Our natural hair always looked dark
in the shade, but had tints of red and gold in the sun, which it
 264

did in this picture. The very bright light enhanced this effect
to make it all look golden. I could not possibly explain all of
this on the dedication page. Besides, the best fit for this
instance was under synchronous ADCs.

Sometimes, another person is used to create the

synchronicity. Once, when Earl and I were walking near a
marsh on Jekyll Island, I suddenly had a fervent wish to see
herons and storks from up close. Before I could say anything
to Earl, a man strode toward us from around the corner and
said, “If you want to see birds, go …” and gave us specific
directions even before we responded to his assumption. We
thanked him and when he left, I told Earl about my wish and
my conviction that Julie arranged this bit of information. We
left the marsh at once and went to a little known rookery on
the island, where we were enchanted by a variety of
beautiful birds—herons, storks, cormorants, and roseate
spoonbills. It was a magical, peaceful experience.

In my early days of grieving, every time while driving that

I was sad or thinking intensely of Julie, songs that Julie and I
both loved would instantly be played on the radio. Each time
I was deeply moved, and yet comforted. I vividly sensed Julie
with me and appreciated her amazing synchronicity. This
phenomenon mostly stopped after two years and I stopped
listening to the radio in the car because I preferred to think
of Julie while driving rather than listening to songs, most of
which I did not love.
 265

Related to this, our book Time After Time was initially

titled “Soul Mates” before it was completed. But neither Earl
nor I were happy with that title. One day while I was in the
car by myself, I said to Julie in my mind, what might be a
better name for our story? At once, I felt a strong urge to
turn on the radio. A song was starting and I recognized the
music (intro) as a song Julie and I used to know and love. My
heart skipped a beat at Julie’s wonderful synchronicity and I
thanked Julie for connecting to me with love once again in
this way, as she used to in my early days of grief.

But then I recognized Cindi Lauper’s song “Time After

Time” and realized in the same instant that it was the perfect
title for our book! I became emotional as I heard the words
which so correctly represented our beloved angels watching
over us – “If you’re lost and you look, then you will find me,
time after time…. If you fall I will catch you, I’ll be waiting,
time after time… .” Earl agreed completely when I told him
about the title and the way it came to me. He was most
grateful to Julie for this insight and connection.

The connection of this song to our book has continued

over time. We no longer listen to the radio in the car. But on
several occasions, when Earl and I walked into a store, the
intro to “Time After Time” would start playing and each time
I became teary-eyed to think how Julie orchestrated that to
tell us she loves us and was with us. Each time we stayed
until the song ended. This also happened when we were
entering the small gift store at the Stones River National
Battlefield Park, which has a special connection to our book.
 266

In addition to all the magical examples of synchronicity

that Julie has created for us, I came across many such
instances in my reading on ADCs. Like I did, many bereaved
people heard the favorite songs of their departed loved one
on the radio whenever they thought of them, especially in
their early grief. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life,
97, 102; LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 94.) Other examples
of synchronous ADCs are included below.

A mother was grieving for her young daughter, who

was struck and killed by a car. As she was backing out of a
driveway, she prayed for a sign that her child was okay.
Immediately, she saw a pencil on the pavement. She felt
compelled to stop and pick it up and was most surprised to
see that it said, “I’m okay” on the pencil. As the daughter was
always drawing with a pencil, this symbolic association
deeply touched the mother. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 198-199.)

A grieving father stood on a beach and asked for a sign

that his departed daughter had found peace. Immediately,
he saw a shark’s tooth at his feet, which had been a favorite
item that his daughter used to collect on their beach walks.
In another case, a woman who was missing her departed
sister, felt prompted to pick up and read a particular book,
and found an old letter from her sister in it. She knew that
her sister was telling her she was okay. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 22, 37.)
 267

A couple saw or heard their daughter’s name several

times one day soon after her passing, exactly when they
were praying to her and asking her for a sign. A bereaved
son found a dollar bill with his father’s name written on it,
shortly after thinking intensely of him. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 102, 161.)

Two sisters who lived in different states (far apart)

experienced hailstones at the same moment right after their
mother died. One of the daughters had not believed that life
continues after death and had asked her mother to give her a
sign if she could. This synchronous sign convinced her that it
was her mother’s message and she realized that life is
eternal. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 250.)

A widow, who could not find a tax bill that was due,
berated her departed husband for leaving her, especially
because she had never handled the family finances. Before
her eyes, his appointment book fell open to reveal the tax bill
in it. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven!
183.) In a similar case, after her husband’s funeral, as a
school teacher sat grieving, her geography book fell off the
table. It was opened to the chapter on Spain, where the
couple had been planning to go on vacation. (Devers,
Goodbye Again, 20-21.)

Complex Spirit Communications

Complex spirit communications are those which may

have associations with aspects of the departed person, or
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may take several steps to complete the full message. These

ADCs add a special meaning, which can make them even
more cherished. In Chapter 7, I discussed the delay Julie
caused so we could avoid a negative person. In the same
chapter I shared the remarkable tire incident where Julie
and my father saved my mother, Earl, and me from an
accident. A third complex ADC involving Julie’s gift to Earl
and me is narrated at the end of Chapter 10.

I will share one more complex ADC from Julie here. Years
after Julie’s transition, Earl had a most unusual dream. He
saw a sequence of faces; some were of people known to us
who had passed away and others were of those who were
still here as far as we knew. The faces seemed to be in no
particular order. When he shared the dream with me, I
immediately responded that the dream had to be from Julie
and she was trying to tell us something. Earl wondered why
she gave the dream to him and not to me. I did not know but
asked him what he thought the dream meant. He said he felt
that someone we knew had died. This resonated with me.

But if one person had died, why did Julie include other
faces of people who presumably were still here? That was a
mystery. Moreover, we looked up obituaries and did not find
any for these people. And yet, we both still felt that Julie was
trying to tell us of someone’s passing. So as I was getting
ready to sleep that night, I said to Julie in my mind, “Can you
please give me a follow-up dream?” Just as I started to think,
“and please give me a clue,” Julie responded telepathically,
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“I already have.” This was the second instance of Julie’s

anticipating and answering my unspoken thought.

I did not know what she meant and laughingly said to her
in my mind, “What do you mean? Am I supposed to see what
the initials spell?” Then, just to test this idea, I thought of all
the initials in the sequence that the faces had appeared to
Earl. I was astonished that they spelled out the name of
someone I had known. I was amazed at Julie’s arranging this
complex dream and her confidence that I would figure it out.

But then I wondered why Julie was telling me of this

individual’s passing. This was someone who had done some
hurtful things to Julie and me, but we had not held a grudge.
I wondered if this soul had approached Julie for forgiveness
and wanted mine as well. I said to Julie that I forgave the
person but I did not want any interaction. I assume Julie
heard me because there was nothing more on this issue.

Later, I realized that Julie did not simply show me this

person’s face in a dream because I might have misconstrued
it as a dream visitation and been puzzled by it. She could not
do this for Earl either because he did not know this
individual well enough to recognize the face. Also, she did
not tell me through telepathy because such information
popping into my mind would have been startling or might
have been garbled in the transmission, causing confusion. So
she went through a great deal of trouble to inform me by
giving a complex dream to Earl followed by telepathic hints
to me, so we could figure it out peacefully at our own pace.
 270

I came across complex ADCs in my reading as well. A

nurse, whose mother had died, suddenly found lights going
on and off in the house and heard the basement door
squeaking. Afraid there was someone in the basement, she
locked the basement door and called her father, who came
over and checked that all was well. As he was leaving, he
suddenly fell down on her porch with a massive heart attack.
Panicked, the nurse started to give her father CPR, but her
mother’s voice compelled her to stop—against her training
as a nurse and her feelings as a daughter. The voice told her
to leave him alone because it was his time to die. As she
stopped, her father died peacefully. Then the lights came on
and off in the house again. That’s when the nurse realized
that her mother had thoughtfully planned and arranged for
her father’s dying in her presence—so he would not die
alone and so the daughter would not find his body several
days later. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 52-53.)

A woman was waiting for a settlement from her mother’s

estate to buy her first house. While she shopped around, her
mother’s house did not sell even though it was beautiful and
priced correctly. But as soon as she found the perfect house
for herself, her mother’s house sold that very day and she
was able to close the deal on her new house. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 31-32.) It appears that the
mother’s spirit timed it this way so the daughter would
know it was her mother’s angelic gift.
 271

Another woman, who had trouble crocheting a dress for

her new granddaughter, called on her mother’s spirit to help,
especially because her mother had loved to knit. Soon, the
woman heard her mother’s laugh, remembered the forgotten
stitch, and was able to complete the dress. When she sent the
dress to her daughter for the baby, she included a note
signed “Mom.” But her daughter still called her “Mommy”
and it was her own mother whom everyone called “Mom.”
The daughter called her to point out this discrepancy and
said that even the signature was in the grandmother’s
handwriting, and so it had to be her gift. In a similar story, a
woman felt a strong urge to give her pregnant daughter a
nightgown as a gift. When she went to the store, she felt
drawn to choose a purple nightgown full of flowers. She
realized that the gift was from her own mother who loved
flowers and the color purple. (Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 116, 131.) Apparently, both grandmothers wanted
these special gifts to be from them and also wanted to let
their families know they were still with them.

A bereaved mother had lost a bracelet in the car accident

that took her daughter’s life. Her daughter had given her the
bracelet as a gift and the mother had been looking for a
replacement but could not find one like it anywhere. After
two years, when they were on a vacation, the family
suddenly smelled the daughter’s perfume. On the suggestion
of a family friend who was with them, they went into the
nearest store where they found the exact bracelet that had
been lost. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 66.) The authors say the daughter’s spirit “probably
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knew” that the bracelet was in the store. I think it is obvious

she knew. She made the family aware of her presence and
inspired the family friend to suggest they go into that store.

A woman who lost her mother offered to replace the old

curtains in her father’s house, something her mother had
wanted to do before she died but was too weak to
accomplish. Her father was pleased and asked if she could
get a blue material “like the Blessed Virgin wore?” Knowing
how impossible this would be in the small market close to
the parents’ home, the daughter went anyway to a small
dime store, the only place there that sold fabric. To her
amazement she found blue material that happened to be
called “Virgin Mary Blue.” Moreover, it was exactly as wide
and as long as she needed to make curtains for three walls.
The woman wondered if the Virgin Mary had put the
material there or if it was her own mother. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 239-241.)

The woman correctly concluded that it was a heavenly

gift. But the exact matching of color, name, and size suggests
that her own mother arranged this loving gift for her family.
After all, she was their soul mate angel. (Dabholkar,
Departed Loved Ones Are Guardian Angels, 13-15.) Sadly, the
author mentions that the woman’s father lived in depression
for the rest of his life. Apparently, he was unable to
appreciate this angelic gift from his wife’s spirit.

A daughter was looking for silk flowers to put on her

parents’ graves when she heard her mother’s voice telling
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her this was not necessary. Ignoring the voice, the daughter
chose the flowers anyway, admitting to herself that she had
to do this to keep up the appearance of being a devoted
daughter. To her surprise she found that she did not have
enough cash at the counter and the store did not take credit
cards, so she was not able to buy the flowers after all. She
realized then that her mother was serious about her
message. (Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 121.) It seems
the mother was telling her that she should focus on her love
for her parents and not on appearances. Her mother may
have also tried to convey that her spirit was not in the
cemetery but anywhere she wanted to be.

The grieving parents of a young boy, who was killed by a

drunk driver, saw a fox come right up to their patio and
stand on it. This unusual behavior made them think it was
Todd, their beloved son, giving them a sign. That afternoon,
the mother’s pregnant sister who was looking up baby
names called to tell them that “Todd” meant “fox.” It is
obvious that the son’s spirit arranged these associated
events, so the parents would have no doubt that he had
visited them. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 95.)

An instance of a complex ADC involving a dream visitation

is as follows. A woman who lost her son close to Mother’s
Day had a dream visitation from her son, in which he
reminded her of the money in his savings account that she
had forgotten about. When she asked him in the dream what
she should do with the money, he told her to go see a jeweler
friend. He said she would know what to do with the money
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when she saw something that reminded her of him. The

mother did as she was told and on walking into the jewelry
store she saw a butterfly necklace with a diamond that she
loved instantly because it reminded her of her son. She
asked the price and found to her amazement that it precisely
matched the amount in her son’s savings account.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 325.)

My mother had a somewhat similar experience related to

an employee on her farm in India. She had given some
money to this man which she considered a gift to help him
out. He insisted it was a loan but he died before he could pay
it back. The next year, the plot which she had set aside for
him to grow rice for his family was left unplanted. To her
and everyone else’s great surprise, the rice grew there
anyway. My mother called the man’s son to harvest and take
the rice for his family. He harvested the rice but sold it and
came to offer my mother the proceeds because he had not
planted the rice. He was unaware of the “loan” and yet the
money exactly matched the gift to his father. That’s when my
mother realized that the magical growing of the rice was her
employee’s angelic means to try to pay her back. She was
deeply touched and shared this background with the son but
told him to keep the money, which his family sorely needed.

Illusions

Illusions certainly belong to the category of unusual

ADCs. In fact, I did not come across any reports of illusions
as ADCs. So I will start with our own history on this topic.
 275

The very first illusion Julie created for us was of the

closed sliding door that I related in Chapter 5. It was a
remarkable illusion and was given to gently remind Earl
of his promise to Julie to take good care of me.

Also narrated in Chapter 5 is my mother’s seeing the

picture I had drawn on Julie’s hospital whiteboard projected
on clouds near the moon. This was an amazing illusion given
to assure my mother that Julie was in the divine Light and
there was no need to worry about her.

A doctoral student shared her most unusual ADC with me.

She was traveling when she got the news of her beloved
grandmother’s passing and became very sad. She went to a
little chapel to pray and as soon as she walked in, she was
drawn to a statue of Mary. As she stood near the statue, she
was amazed at the expressive eyes of the statue that seemed
to be looking at her. She also noticed the sweet smile and the
loving arms stretched out to her. As she gazed at the statue,
she became flooded with peace. When she left the chapel,
she walked about the grounds, and then decided to take one
more look at the statue. She was astonished to see that the
eyes of the statue were closed and the hands were folded in
prayer. At first she was flummoxed, but then it dawned upon
her that her loving grandmother’s spirit had created that
wonderful illusion earlier to make her peaceful.

Although no one has identified any ADCs as illusions in

the literature, I found three instances of what seem to be
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illusions in my research. The first one, narrated in Chapter 7,

concerns a frightening illusion a father’s spirit seems to have
created in a woman’s eyes to scare off a would-be assailant.
The author simply says the man looked into her eyes, looked
startled, and quickly walked off, but it seems logical to
assume that an illusion was created to frighten him.

In a second case, a mother’s spirit shielded her daughter

from the sudden news of her death. The daughter had left
her seriously ill mother for a couple of days to sign a job
contract in another city. But while she was away, her mother
died. Strangely, no one could reach the woman to tell her
about her mother’s passing, even though they tried. The
reason was as follows. In her hotel room, the woman
suddenly heard a very loud bird on the balcony. Going out
to look, she was surprised to see a beautiful, green-blue,
iridescent bird that seemed unreal. Although she stood close
to it, it did not fly away, and as she watched it, she became
incredibly sleepy. She went back in, fell asleep promptly and
deeply, and remained asleep through all the phone calls for
many hours. When she eventually awoke, she was well
rested. She answered the phone when it rang next and
realized that the time of her mother’s passing was exactly
the time that the strange-looking bird had appeared to her.
Realizing that her mother came to shield her from the sad
news when she was exhausted gave her much peace of mind.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 236-238.) The author
does not say this, but it very much sounds as if the bird was
an illusion created by the mother.
 277

The third incident relates to a distraught mother whose

children were murdered. She was taking a trip with her own
mother when the latter saw a “perfect miniature rainbow”
just above her daughter’s head. The daughter looked up and
saw it too. The rainbow lasted for five minutes and both
women took it as a message of love from the beloved
children, who they knew now were okay. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 286.) The authors do not
specifically say so, but it seems obvious to me that the
children’s spirits created an illusion of a rainbow in the car
just above the mother’s head.

I end the chapter with a special instance of Julie’s magic.

When Earl and I visited Cumberland Falls, we arrived on a
full moon night, and felt close to Julie as we gazed at the
gorgeous yellow moon. The next day, we went on a hike to
see different views of the river and the beautiful waterfall.
At one point, Earl climbed a steep slope to a ledge at the top
of the falls to see what the waterfall looked like from that
vantage. I could not see him at all but could hear the loud
roar of the gushing falls very close. As I waited, I became
terribly afraid he would be swept off the ledge by the force
of the water and I would not even know. I prayed frantically
to Julie, saying, “Are you here? Is he okay?”

Instantly, a little plant near me started bobbing. It was

at eye level (on the slope going to the ledge) with three oval
leaves that looked like an angel (one leaf growing straight
up, and the other two angled like wings). There was no
breeze and the rest of the plants were still. Only this little
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plant bobbed its top leaf, like an angel head nodding, saying,
“I’m here and he is okay.” I was flooded with relief. I was also
amazed at how quickly Julie chose this most appropriate
plant to convey a special message to me.

Earl then returned and as we continued on our hike I told

him of the wondrous way Julie had reassured me that he was
okay. He was grateful she had calmed me and fascinated by
her ingenious communication. I told him I would show him
the plant on our way down and we could take a picture of it.

When we came back down, I knew precisely where the

plant was and looked for it excitedly only to find no such
plant there. I was very confused and even Earl helped me
look because I had described it to him vividly. But I knew the
exact spot it had been and soon realized that the whole thing
had been an angelic illusion to reassure me.

This is why the plant had been so perfectly shaped as an

angel and why it was at the perfect spot (eye-level). Both of
us were touched and humbled by this additional layer to our
wondrous ADC. Later that day, we went to the gift shop to
get a souvenir and I was enchanted to see a little green angel
ornament, with wings exactly like the leaves of the plant in
the illusion. It was the perfect memento of Julie’s magic and
we put it up in her bedroom window.
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Section IV
My Reflections on Spirit Communications
 280

Chapter 16
Spirit Communications Are Real

As the reader knows well by now, an ADC (or spirit

communication) is a message whereby a departed loved one
(or a soul mate angel) connects with loved ones on earth. It
may be a single occurrence or ongoing. It is almost always
positive and uplifting. ADCs are often aimed at assuring
those left behind that the departed soul is well, happy, and
capable of far more in the soul world. Spirit messages also
indicate that a departed loved one (or a soul mate angel) is
watching over those in the physical dimension and that
they are linked to each other with eternal love.

ADCs Are Not Coincidences

ADCs and spirit communications have been reported

throughout history. They have been given in the form of
apparitions, auditory signals, physical touch, and smells;
through nature or physical objects; in dream visitations or
by telepathy; or simply by feeling the loved one’s presence.
Furthermore, as catholic monsignor Jean Vernette points
out, “a quick look at history” reveals that messages from
departed souls to their loved ones “are universal and
common to all religious traditions.” (Jean Vernette
interview in Valarino, On The Other Side of Life, 282.)
Similarly, researchers have noted that people have
experienced ADCs whether or not they believed in a life
beyond the physical. (Attig, Heart of Grief, 38; Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 6.)
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In terms of demographics, a 1971 study in the US found

that 50 percent of widows had seen visions of their departed
spouses. (Morse, “Parting Visions” in Bailey and Yates, The
Near-Death Experience, 312.) More than a decade later, a
study done in England found that 35 percent of nurses had
visions or other ADCs from their patients who had died.
(Lewis, D. “All in Good Faith.”) In 1987, a poll of 1445 people
by the National Opinion Research Center found that 42
percent of Americans reported having an ADC, with the
proportion rising to 67 percent for widows. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 12.) Grief counselor
Louis LaGrand writes that ADCs have been experienced by
people of all ages and in all walks of life. (LaGrand, ADC:
Final Farewells, 18-20.) All of these studies and polls indicate
that frequencies of reported ADCs are high enough to rule
out coincidences.

Yet, despite all the historical evidence and the findings of

surveys and research, there are many people who do not
believe that ADCs or spirit communications can and do
occur. Melvin Morse writes of a young widow who received
a reminder postcard from her dentist that had the picture of
a place that was very special to her and her husband; it was
“their spot.” She inquired and found that it was one of a
thousand postcards that the dentist’s office sent out. Morse
writes that his own wife saw this incident as a mere
coincidence, but he saw it as a miracle. (Morse, Parting
Visions, 183-185.) There is no doubt that the husband’s spirit
guided the dentist’s receptionist to choose that particular
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card for his widow. It was one of many ways he could let
her know he was okay and that he loved her.

Notwithstanding their pioneering work on the subject

of ADCs and many comments in their book regarding the
strong evidence for ADCs, the Guggenheims do not seem
completely sure that ADCs are real. They say the bereaved
think ADCs are real “while skeptics believe they are just
coincidence” and illogically conclude that “perhaps both
views are valid.” (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 195.) They encourage readers to examine the ADC
accounts in their book and to form their “own well-informed
judgment regarding their credibility.” (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 19.) The authors do not
explain how readers can be “well-informed” about
something they did not personally experience.

In contrast, Professor Thomas Attig writes that the

contacts or signs that the bereaved receive are not
coincidences; instead, “there is a reason for everything.”
(Attig, The Heart of Grief, 38.) Grief counselor LaGrand
concurs that “‘coincidences’...reflect an order in the universe
that we do not completely understand and have nothing to
do with chance.” (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 91-92.)

Although he recognizes that there are no coincidences

and is very open to the phenomenon of ADCs, LaGrand
frequently expresses doubts on the subject himself. Like the
Guggenheims, LaGrand’s work on ADCs is done as research,
and one gets the sense that he wants to believe they are real,
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but he is not quite sure. For example, he writes speculatively

that, “the deceased (or the unconscious, or perhaps a
Supreme being) ... seems to reach out to the bereaved.”
(italics added, LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, xiii, 6.)

In another example that expresses his uncertainty about

whether ADCs are real, LaGrand writes that it is okay for a
mourner to talk “to the deceased at times when one is at
their wit’s end or feeling isolated or dejected” and that “the
mourner may well feel the loved one hears and is present.”
(italics added, LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 57.) LaGrand
is wrong on both counts. First, it is okay to talk to the
departed soul at any time—not just when one is grieving.
Second, the mourner does not merely “feel” the loved one
hears and is present; the mourner or any open-hearted
recipient of a loving spirit communication knows the loved
one “hears and is present.”

LaGrand also states that the continued existence of the

soul is a belief held by millions, and that “the living can
interact with their deceased loved ones may be the oldest
belief.” (italics added, LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 11.) The
truth is that neither of these are mere beliefs; instead, both
are facts. Even though LaGrand is trying to make a strong
case for ADCs, his approach to the subject is tentative. There
is no reason to wonder whether our souls are eternal, or if
ADCs are possible. The evidence for both is phenomenal.
(Dabholkar, Departed Loved Ones Are Guardian Angels,
passim; Dabholkar, Life Review: God’s Perfect Plan, passim.)
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Whereas the people interviewed by the Guggenheims

seem fully convinced of the reality of their ADC experiences,
possibly some of LaGrand’s doubt comes from the people he
interviewed. One woman received a dream visitation from
her best friend’s spirit who told her she was happy and to
stop grieving, but the woman was not sure if it was real.
Another woman felt a palpable hug right after the funeral
service for her husband, when she was deeply grieving for
him. Yet, she did not understand it was her husband’s spirit,
and thought God was hugging her. (LaGrand, ADC: Final
Farewells, 104, 107.)

In keeping with his hesitant approach to ADCs, LaGrand

suggests that if you have a dream visitation and “you awake
with a feeling of peace and joy that had been absent since
the death,” you should share it with a knowledgeable person
“to erase any misgivings” and “shop around for several
opinions.” (LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 53-54.)

It sounds as if LaGrand is suggesting counseling when

none is needed, and being wary of your own experience.
Instead, if you wake up feeling joyous and peaceful, you
should trust your own feelings, and rejoice in them. If you
know you were contacted by a loving spirit, you do not need
counselors (or other people who did not experience what
you did) to validate or negate your experience. It is certainly
important to share your experience with others, such as
family members or friends who are supportive, but not to
ask for validation if you know what happened was real. You
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should trust your own instincts and the loving spirits who
communicated with you.

Most ADC recipients are never in doubt of the reality

of angelic messages. This is true of the vast majority of
instances I have shared from my reading throughout this
book. Some receivers have said that their ADCs “were of a
character and intensity that made the reality simply
undeniable.” As a team of ADC writers has put it, “Millions
know the truth: after-death communications are real.”
(Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 11, 40.)

Many of these recipients are also confident that their

loved ones’ spirits continue to be with them. For example,
monsignor Vernette says “Our departed ones are present
with us.... We can talk to them and they can hear us.... And
they are ready to lend us their real and effective help if we
ask for it.” (Jean Vernette interview in Valarino, On The
Other Side of Life, 271-272, 279-280.)

Children seem to have a natural connection to the spirit

world. They often report seeing someone who is departed
and show an intuitive understanding of connections
between the dimensions. (Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 170, 265.) Psychiatrist Brian Weiss agrees that babies
and young children are often well aware of loving spirits but
concludes that their communication skills are often too
limited to fully convey what they experience. He notes that
even when children articulate well and say they interacted
with someone the adult could not see, adults tend not to
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believe them and write it off as the child’s imaginary friend.

(Weiss, Messages from the Masters, 186.)

In contrast, some adults who receive ADCs think their

natural joy at such communications is wrong and try to
hide their excitement from family members in case it is
misinterpreted as a lack of grieving. Others simply fail to
recognize angelic gifts given to them as evidence of
continued love connections. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 80,
102-103; Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 239-241.)

Some, who at first intuitively recognize an ADC, later

write it off as an emotional reaction to grief and discount the
whole experience because they cannot explain it rationally.
They fail to realize the spiritual reality of their experience.
A psychologist who had dream visitations from her husband
and knew at the time they were real, later explained them
away as her own emotional coping. (Devers, Goodbye Again,
102, 118.) Some dreams are truly about coping, but dream
visitations are very easy to identify due to their vividness
and blissful content (as discussed in Chapter 10).

Similarly, a grieving widower had several dream

visitations from his wife in which she looked beautiful and
told him she was well and happy. But the husband thought
of these dreams as taunting him that his wife was alive and
well when she was not. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 140.)
By failing to understand that there are different dimensions
in the universe, he made himself miserable despite his wife’s
repeated loving assurances.
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In another case, a grieving mother, whose eighteen-

year-old son was killed in a car wreck, had repeated dream
visitations where her son said, “Mom, see I’m not hurt,
everything is alright.” But she did not understand that these
were real visits at the time and attributed the dreams to
wishful thinking. It was later, after reading about near-death
experiences and understanding the soul world, that she
realized that it was her son’s spirit actually coming to her in
those early dreams. (Ring, Lessons From the Light, 264.)

Another grieving mother had a dream visitation where

her daughter hugged her and told her she was fine and
happy and that the mother had to stop grieving. Even though
the mother reports that her daughter’s hug and presence
were very real, she was not sure whether it was really her
daughter or her own sub-conscious mind helping her heal.
(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 104.)

Many who try to find rational explanations for their ADCs

experience a great deal of conflict. (Devers, Goodbye Again,
103.) Also, while some recipients struggle to incorporate
ADCs within scientific beliefs, others admit that abandoning
a reasoned approach to explaining phenomena such as ADCs
made them wiser and happier. Edie Devers writes that
“Private, subjective realities, which are laden with emotional
content, are often more meaningful than those realities that
can be proven to be real by scientific methods.” For example,
she asks, “How real is a mother’s love for her child? How real
is the sorrow one feels from the death of a loved one?” Such
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questions clearly show that meaningful realities cannot

always be measured or proven. (Devers, Goodbye Again,
103-104, 107, 110-111.)

It is important to try to become enlightened about the

spirit world and to know that we are worthy of receiving
miracles from our loving angels. By doing so, we are less
likely to shrug off ADCs or to call them coincidences. If you
have doubts, talk to someone who is open-minded. Share
your experience and enlarge the circle of wisdom and love.

Neither ADCs nor NDEs Take Place in Our Minds

NDEs have been reported throughout history in mystical

traditions and by philosophers such as Plato, Tolstoy, and
Jung. (Sogyal Rinpoche, “The Near Death Experience,” in
Bailey and Yates, The Near-Death Experience, 161.) And yet,
NDErs were often not believed in the past. Those who talked
of their experience were often ignored, or told it was a
dream, or referred to a psychiatrist. (Brinkley, Saved by the
Light, 70-74.)

Similarly, studies on ADCs have been conducted in the U.S.

from the early 1880s. (Jean Vernette interview in Valarino,
On The Other Side of Life, 282.) Nevertheless, ADC recipients
face barriers just as NDErs did in the past. People who share
ADC experiences are often met with skeptical and negative
reactions from family, friends, psychiatrists, or religious
counselors. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 12; Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 4.)
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NDErs always stress that their experience was more real

than life on earth. (Kenneth Ring interview in Valarino, On
The Other Side of Life, 109.) Most recipients of ADCs are often
imbued with the same type of feelings. Even if others raise
doubts, the recipient typically knows that the experience
was more real than ordinary experiences in life. (Devers,
Goodbye Again, 32; Attig, The Heart of Grief, 38.) The few
who doubt the reality of their ADCs are in effect rejecting
the gifts of love given by their departed loved ones.

As monsignor Vernette points out, artistic inspiration

cannot be reproduced in a lab and yet it exists. He says
that in the same way testimonies of NDErs and eternal
love relationships are not reproducible in a lab but are
“knowable... through the heart.” (Jean Vernette interview
in Valarino, On The Other Side of Life, 273.) The same applies
to ADCs. We do not need to prove that our departed loved
ones connect with us. Proof is unnecessary; spirit contacts
are “knowable... through the heart.”

Many reductionists (those who reduce everything to what

they can see, touch, or measure) argue that the NDE is due to
a lack of oxygen or the hallucinatory effect of drugs. They
pointedly ignore remarkable evidence of hundreds of people
who had OBEs in hospitals and accurately reported on what
relatives or medical personnel were doing in other parts of
the hospital, while these patients were comatose or had flat-
lined. (Moody, “The Light Beyond,” in Bailey and Yates, The
Near-Death Experience, 35; Kenneth Ring interview in
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Valarino, On the Other Side of Life, 89; Ring, Lessons from the
Light, 66; Dabholkar, Departed Loved Ones Are Guardian
Angels, 16-20; Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life,
38.) Reductionists insist that all spiritual phenomena (such
as NDEs and ADCs) are delusions or drug-induced. But it is
the reductionists’ own inability to understand the soul
realm, which stems from their severely constricted
viewpoint and lack of an innate sense of the spiritual.

In stark contrast to reductionists, Albert Einstein stated

that being in awe of the mystical is necessary to “true
science” as is the understanding that what may be
“impenetrable to us really exists” and is in fact “the highest
wisdom and most radiant beauty.” (Berman, The Journey
Home, 173-174.)

Raymond Moody writes that just as the people he calls

“psychological fundamentalists” argue that “I have never
seen this, so it can’t be true,” religious fundamentalists
shout: “This is the work of Satan!” Moody emphasizes that
both sets of people are not open-minded and willing to
search for answers but “fervent ideologues who appear
to be defending themselves.” He notes that “religious
organizations with rigid ideologies have an interest in
discouraging people from seeking firsthand experience
in the spirit realm.” (Moody, Reunions, 46, 78.)

Despite these sensible observations and his research

on NDEs and on ADCs (facilitated through mirror gazing),
Moody himself seems confused about the authenticity of
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spirit phenomena. Even in his pioneering book on NDEs,

Moody repeatedly states that these experiences do not prove
there is life after death. (Moody, Life After Life, passim.)
Moreover, he calls ADCs “phenomena of the human mind”
and says “those we love are deeply embedded in our
unconscious mind.” He calls mirror gazing, which he uses to
help people connect with the departed, a way “to delve into
our unconscious minds.” He even calls his facility for mirror
gazing “The Theater of the Mind.” (Moody, Reunions, xiv, xvi,
11, 103.)

The truth is that spirit phenomena do not take place in

our minds but are real. Melvin Morse says that evidence of
NDEs should make us realize that our understanding of the
soul realm is very shallow and there is a lot going on that we
cannot understand. He makes the analogy to how limited a
frog’s perception is compared to ours; a frog only perceives
shadows and buzzing sounds. (Morse, Closer to the Light, 1,
3; Morse, Parting Visions, 73.)

Similarly, we perceive very little of all the mysteries and

miracles of the universe that are around us. Therefore, it
is important not to discount other people’s spiritually
transformative experiences, such as NDEs, ADCs, and death-
bed visions. In a death-bed vision, the dying person sees
spirits (usually departed loved ones) and consequently is
happy about the prospect of dying. In the past, people
attending the dying knew these visions were real. Only in
modern times are they viewed as hallucinations of the dying.
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Again, this is a reductionist approach by people who fail to

understand the enormity of the magical universe around us.

The Guggenheims report that many of their interviewees

said they were “devout skeptics” before their ADC but
became spiritually open after the phenomena. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 17.) Devers notes that
after an ADC from their mother, her scientific-minded sister
went from “consummate skeptic” to complete belief in an
unseen world that a “limited scientific way of knowing”
could not encompass. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 8.)

LaGrand writes that scientists who minimize the

experience of ADCs do a disservice to the bereaved. He
recognizes that because ADCs lead to “uplifting thoughts,”
they can help the bereaved cope with their loss. (LaGrand,
ADC: Final Farewells, 7-8.) Although this is both true and well
meant, it is not sufficient. Helping the bereaved to cope with
their grief is an altruistic reason but not the only one for
accepting the existence of ADCs. Understanding that spirits
can and do communicate with those left behind helps us all
understand more about eternal life, eternal love, and the
soul world.

NDE researcher Evelyn Valarino writes that those who

take the Cartesian approach to NDEs will never understand
them because “it is precisely the observable, the measurable,
the material that obscures the truth” that is experienced in
an NDE. (Valarino, On the Other Side of Life, 7.) It is exactly
the same with ADCs. People who discount ADCs because
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they have not experienced them, or cannot imagine that they

could happen, fail to recognize the existence of the
unobservable, the immeasurable, and the immaterial aspects
of our universe which are actually far more important than
those that are easily observed.

Scholar Philip Berman writes that books on NDEs

sometimes try “to prove the existence of life after death
rather than explore the profound spiritual implications of
the experience.” He believes this sort of pandering to
“materialistically minded scientists” is both useless and
unnecessary. The skeptics will never be convinced because
they are committed to not believing. Instead they will
continue to focus on whether NDEs are the result of oxygen
deprivation, psychological stress, or drugs. Berman writes
that “the ultimate proof of life after death is unlikely to arise
in a laboratory—it must emerge from our spiritual
experiences.” (Berman, The Journey Home, 9-10.)

Physician Jean-Paul Girard who himself underwent an

NDE, says that scientists should be modest with respect to
the marvel of creation. As a doctor, he knows that his
experience was not a hallucination. He finds it very strange
when scientists say NDEs are caused by lack of oxygen, and
vigorously points out that “the existence of supra-terrestrial
energy does not depend on the level of oxygen in the blood!”
Girard also finds it strange that some psychologists call an
NDE a defense mechanism. Instead, he explains that it is “an
experience of extraordinary serenity and peacefulness, of
 294

total peace.” (Jean-Paul Girard interview in Valarino, On the

Other Side of Life, 65.)

Professor Kenneth Ring concurs that it is wrong to reduce

NDEs to a psychoanalytical framework, as that is “unfair
both to the experience and the experiencer.” He deplores
reductionists’ attempts to distort these experiences. Ring
argues that an NDE is not a defensive device as reductionists
claim, even though the soul is jumping out of the dying body.
Instead, “the individual is free to experience what is really
there.... not just a consoling hallucination.” He uses the
analogy of our not seeing the stars in the daytime, but “when
the sun sets, the starry heavens are revealed. That’s the
poetry of the NDE, and the psychoanalytical orientation
would never allow us to see it or even suspect it exists.” Ring
concludes that we need “truly to talk about them as visions
that inform, that give us a sense of the transcendental order,
that give us an idea of where we really belong, where we
come from, and where we’re going.” (Kenneth Ring
interview in Valarino, On the Other Side of Life, 102, 109,
117-119.) The same is true of ADCs and spirit messages,
which, even when brief, are full of wondrous information
about our eternal lives, everlasting love between soul mates,
and much more, if we take the trouble to reflect on their
every nuance.

Sadly, those who have had NDEs and even researchers

open to the NDE phenomena do not always understand
ADCs and what they imply. For example, Ring writes that
near-death experiencers (NDErs) are no longer worried
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about departed loved ones, only about how they can “get on
with my life with that essential person missing.” (Kenneth
Ring interview in Valarino, On the Other Side of Life, 145.)

Ring as well as the NDErs who express such concern

completely fail to comprehend that our departed loved ones
are not missing from our lives; they are in heaven and yet
very close to us. They hear us and can continue to
communicate with us, guide us, and protect us. (Dabholkar,
Departed Loved Ones Are Guardian Angels, passim.) Those
left behind need to work on understanding their soul mate
angels’ continuing closeness.

If you are bereaved, do not be a “reductionist”; do not

think of an ADC you receive as a coincidence. That is a
negative, closed-minded approach as seen from the above
discussion. Moreover, it is a “lose-lose” proposition. You will
forfeit the blessing that comes from a loving ADC and your
departed loved one will be sad that you rejected his or her
message of continued love across dimensions.
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Chapter 17
How Spirit Communications Enlighten Us

Both NDEs and ADCs can enlighten us. Most NDErs realize
after their experience that our lives are eternal and that the
earth life is a very small part of this. (Berman, The Journey
Home, 55-56; Ring, Lessons from the Light, 17.) It is also
clear to the majority of NDErs that spiritual advancement
continues in the soul realm. (Cox-Chapman, The Case for
Heaven, 181.)

Similar understanding comes to recipients of ADCs who

reflect on the full meaning of the ADC given to them. It is
obvious after hearing from our departed loved ones that the
soul continues to exist after mortal death. And if we reflect
on the messages and how they were communicated, we can
comprehend that our loved ones are at a higher spiritual
level than they were on earth and capable of magical feats.

NDErs also discover that caring for others is critical, and

that kindness in daily interactions is often more important
than a one-time action on a large scale. (Berman, The Journey
Home, 47, 117-120; Brinkley, Saved by the Light, 20-21, 46.)
ADC recipients often get the same message through spirit
communications. Love is all that matters.

Understanding ADC Messages Fully

Some ADCs come from little children who have died but
the message seems to be from a mature soul. (Guggenheim
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and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 106, 135, 154, 303,

318.) In one case, the authors say it is “remarkable that a
young child could communicate such a complicated
message.” (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 253.)

But this aspect is part of the knowledge the departed

spirit is trying to convey. In addition to healing, ADCs try to
enlighten us about the workings of the soul world. In many
ADCs from young children, the departed spirit is obviously
mature but connects to the bereaved parents or loved ones
as they think of him or her, by portraying an image of a baby
or child. At the same time, the message reveals that the soul
is mature and wants the parents to understand that as well.

In one case, a psychologist received an ADC from a young

girl who gave a message for her mother that she should not
worry about the quilt. On conveying this seemingly vague
message, the mother was overcome with emotion. She said
she had felt terribly guilty about not putting the quilt in her
daughter’s coffin, because the daughter had loved the quilt
and took it everywhere with her. But the mother had kept it
back because she could not bear to part with it. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 111.)

The authors do not explicitly write about all that this

message conveys, but I believe it is worth discussing so
people can learn to look for deeper meanings even in
relatively simple ADCs. At the basic level this ADC shows
that the daughter’s spirit knows precisely what the mother is
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thinking and feeling and she is able to send a direct reply to

her mother’s worry. This knowledge should help the mother
talk to her daughter freely and directly and know she will get
an answer somehow. If the daughter was able to give an ADC
to the psychologist, she can surely give one to her beloved
mother if the mother becomes open to such phenomena.

The message also conveys that the daughter’s spirit is not

in the grave and she does not need the quilt there. Instead,
the mother needs it for her emotional healing and she did
the right thing by keeping it back. This knowledge should
help the mother slowly accept that material things are
irrelevant in the soul dimension, but that it is okay for
humans to assign emotion to beloved objects if they help in
healing. Finally, the message reveals a level of maturity and
wisdom that can widen the mother’s perspective of the
spiritual level of her daughter.

Many ADCs after the loss of a baby or young child show

the parents a vision of a departed relative or a being of light
with the little one. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello
From Heaven! 108-109, 140-141, 254-255.) In addition to
their grief, these parents are worried about who will take
care of their baby or child. Including another departed
relative or a being of light in the vision gives the bereaved
parents peace of mind.

Sometimes, a departed child’s spirit does speak or appear

as an adult in an ADC. In Chapter 10, I related two such
dream visitations. In one, a little boy appeared and spoke to
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his mother as a grown-up and told her of two problems

with his gravestone. In another, a baby who died of SIDS
appeared as a grown woman to her grieving mother.

Guggenheim and Guggenheim suggest that just as the

elderly can take on a young appearance in a vision or a
dream, a child can take on an older appearance that fits with
how they see themselves. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim,
Hello From Heaven! 139.) While that is certainly true, there is
another, more relevant reason this would be done in an ADC.
It is likely that the spirit believes that the bereaved parents
need to be reassured that the “child” is not only capable of
taking care of himself or herself, but is also in a position to
guide the parents in their spiritual advancement. It is yet
another way to enlighten us about the soul dimension.

What ADCs Teach Us

Love and Wisdom

It is true that the most common messages of ADCs are

very simple, such as “I love you,” “I’m okay,” or “Don’t
grieve.” (Weiss, Messages from the Masters, 197.) At the
same time, ADCs can have more complex messages that
serve as life lessons. Many ADCs convey to the receivers
that material things and financial success are unimportant;
instead loving and helping others are the only things that
matter. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven!
69, 337, 343.)
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These lessons are similar to those gained in other

spiritually transformative experiences. People in deep
meditation or hypnotic states have revealed that our main
soul purpose is love and wisdom. (Weiss, Messages from the
Masters, 186.) Subjects in a study that regressed them to a
time before their birth (when they were in the soul realm)
expressed similar ideas: they came to earth to love others
and to grow spiritually. Not even one person out of the 750
people in the study said they came for wealth, status, or
power. (Wambach, Life Before Life, 82-90.) Many NDErs lost
interest in material things after their experience; they now
believe that “less is more” and that “love and learning are
what God wants of us.” (Berman, The Journey Home, 117-
120, 130-131, 148; Cox-Chapman, The Case for Heaven, 10,
48, 162; Lorimer, “The Near-Death Experience and Perennial
Wisdom,” 362, and Moody, “The Light Beyond,” 33, in Bailey
and Yates, The Near-Death Experience.)

Our Unique Gift

ADCs teach us that we need to focus on what we truly

enjoy and what we can do well, as another important
aspect of our soul purpose. For example, a father’s spirit
communicated to his daughter that it was important for her
mother (his wife) not to feel obligated to run his business,
but to do whatever made her happy and what she was
good at. (Weiss, Messages from the Masters, 96-97.)

I can also share my own experience in this regard. I have

always enjoyed writing, especially something that could help
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others. I did that extensively in my whole career as a

research professor, and my work was widely acclaimed. But
I also wanted to write books that could help readers in more
fundamental ways—something about important concepts
related to life itself. Early on I had an exciting idea for a
fiction project about reincarnation and eternal love. I shared
it with Earl, and he loved it. We planned to co-author this
book after retiring to entertain as well as enlighten readers.

But after Julie’s untimely passing, we took a leave of

absence from our universities, and during this time I kept
thinking that working on this project would not only benefit
readers, but also help us in our healing. So we wrote Time
After Time; but now we also included ideas about guardian
angels and after-death communication, as we were already
blessed with Julie’s messages of love and guidance.

The creative process and Julie’s inspiration during the

project helped us greatly in our healing and we decided to
write a second book. As mentioned, Earl strongly felt Julie’s
urging that the new project be related to dreams and dream
interpretations. I loved the idea. After all, sharing dreams
and interpreting them was something Julie and I had always
enjoyed and Earl had been drawn into this with us. So we
wrote a mystery called Dreamer to help people understand
important concepts about eternal love and spirit guidance
through dreams and dream interpretations. We felt Julie
inspiring us in this project as well, as shared earlier.
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When that was completed, we created a plot for a third

fiction book called Going Home, aimed at showing readers
through an intriguing story how guardian angels protect and
guide their loved ones. But now it was time to resume our
teaching and academic research, so we put this project aside
for many years as work at our universities overwhelmed us.

After retiring, I wrote Going Home on my own because

Earl was still inundated at work. But of course I credited him
as co-author because we had developed the unusual plot
together. I also penned several non-fiction books to more
directly continue teaching people about the soul world,
guardian angels, and related issues, and taught courses on
these subjects at senior centers. In addition, I wrote another
fiction book, Searching for the Truth, to incorporate ADCs,
NDEs, and soul mate angels as part of the plot. All along, I felt
compelled to write this book, Ongoing Miracles, about Julie’s
communications from the spirit dimension. I worked on it
steadily for many years, with the objective of enlightening
readers about the soul world and eternal love connections.

The idea that we are supposed to use our inborn talents,

follow our proclivities, and do what makes us happy (in
order to make a contribution to the universe) also fits with
lessons from NDEs. An NDEr reported that a being of light
told her to focus on singing for audiences, which she had
loved to do since she was child, but had relegated to a back
burner because she thought it was frivolous. She was thrilled
to find out that what gave her joy was what she was
supposed to do. (Ring, Lessons from the Light, 47-48.) Also,
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artist Mellen-Thomas Benedict learned from his NDE that

God expects each of us to make unique contributions to the
universe based on our own inborn gifts. (Benedict, “Through
the Light and Beyond,” in Bailey and Yates, The Near-Death
Experience, 42-43, 49.)

This concept is also confirmed by people who had

mystical experiences. One individual who had a mystical
experience and became one with the Light explained that
part of our soul purpose is to “express our uniqueness.”
Another person who had a mystical experience concurred
that we need “to discover in what unique ways” we can
contribute aspects of ourselves to the universe. (Berman,
The Journey Home, 151-152, 155.)

Guidance

Departed loved ones sometimes give insights through

ADCs about the plans souls make for their earth lives. For
example, some ADCs conveyed that it was time for that soul
to go; that it was planned or “meant to be” and the bereaved
should therefore not grieve excessively. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 92, 136.) Such ADCs can
give the bereaved much food for thought. If the death of their
loved ones was planned, it might seem easier to accept.

Other ADCs offer guidance to people who are facing a

crisis so they can go on with their lives and fulfill their soul
purpose. A young man struggling with his homosexuality
was visited by his grandmother’s spirit who assured him
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that his feelings were perfectly fine, that she loved him, and
that he should choose the path that felt correct for him. A
woman who felt guilty for having forcibly put her addicted
daughter in a recovery center was visited by her husband’s
spirit who assured her that she had done the right thing and
that their daughter would now recover. A man despondent
over his divorce and job situation felt his mother’s spiritual
presence and recaptured the will to turn his life around.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 90-91;
Devers, Goodbye Again, 138.)

Directing People to Help Others

Some ADCs specifically direct the recipients to help other

people. Here are two examples of ADCs given so recipients
could help a soul mate. A grieving mother was directing her
anger at her husband because she was unable to handle her
grief, but her young son’s spirit gave her an ADC directing
her to help the father instead. Another grieving mother was
unable to love her new baby but her departed toddler’s spirit
came to her and encouraged her to bond with the new baby.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 311,
315.)

Sometimes, people are directed to help someone they

know but who is not their soul mate. A woman heard her
mother’s voice repeatedly telling her to check on her friend’s
baby who was asleep, ran to the baby’s room, and found the
baby suffocating in the blankets. She got there just in time to
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free the baby. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From

Heaven! 44.)

ADCs may also direct people to help strangers. A mother

tending the grave of her son heard him tell her repeatedly
that someone needed her help. Following his guidance, she
walked over and talked to a man grieving visibly. Through
telepathy the woman’s son told her to tell the man that his
son had felt no pain at his death and that he was happy. She
did so, explaining to the man that her own son’s spirit had
communicated this knowledge to her telepathically. She saw
the man rise from the depths of his depression to sheer joy.
He had found the answers to his constant worry about the
circumstances of his son’s death and whether he was happy
where he was. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 310-311.)

How ADCs Change Lives

People have also been inspired to change their lives based

on the ADCs they have received. A woman grieving for two of
her children killed in an automobile accident saw a vision of
her mother, who had also recently died, and who assured
her she would take care of the children. The woman was so
moved by her mother’s ADC and assurance that she resolved
to spend the rest of her life working in nursing homes so she
could tell the sick and dying about the continuation of life
after death. (Morse, Parting Visions, 119-120.) Another
woman, who lost three sons to cystic fibrosis and had an
ADC from one of them, began to work as a nurse to help
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other children with the same disease. (Guggenheim and

Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 138-139.)

Many recipients of ADCs experience physical and

psychological healing through loving connections with the
soul world. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 11.) A young woman felt more loved by her
stepfather’s spirit than she had ever felt loved by him before
he died. An elderly widow who was seriously ill got well
dramatically when her husband’s spirit visited her in the
hospital and kissed her. A middle-aged woman who had
serious eye problems fully regained her visual ability after
her husband’s spirit visited her at home and playfully gave
her signs that her vision would improve. (Devers, Goodbye
Again, 147-148, 152-154, 158.) In the last case, the woman’s
outlook on life and death also changed, giving her an altered
vision in more ways than one.

ADCs can teach the recipients a great deal about the soul
dimension. Some people, who did not believe in anything
beyond the physical world before their ADC experience,
changed their views radically. Others said that ADCs
completely altered their ideas about God and heaven.
Contrary to what they had been taught in religion, namely
that good souls have moved on to heaven and so cannot be
“here” anymore, they realized that good souls can continue
to be connected with us after death. These people explain
that the ADCs made them understand that “maybe there and
here are the same place.” (Devers, Goodbye Again, 100-101.)
In fact, the soldier killed in World War I, who communicated
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with his mother through Morse code, told her that “Our use
of the terms ‘here’ and ‘there’ is misleading. We are not
separated from you.” (Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, 65.)

ADCs do help us understand how close we are to the spirit

realm. Several recipients talk of looking through a door,
window, or hole into another dimension and being given a
privileged view of heaven or the soul world. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 99-101.) In Chapter 14,
I shared how Julie used sunlight streaming into the house to
create a lighted silhouette of an angel next to an image of a
doorway. I instantly realized Julie was teaching me that she
could go back and forth easily between the two dimensions.

Recognizing our close and precious connection to the

spirit dimension through ADCs, we can better focus on our
soul purpose of love and wisdom. For example, recipients
often say that the ADCs they received allowed them to put
things in perspective—they learned not to worry about
minor issues and to see what was truly important in life.
(Devers, Goodbye Again, 99.)

Plato wisely said that the whole purpose of our lives is to

prepare for death. (Plato’s Republic, Book VII, 515, circa 360
BCE, cited in Bailey and Yates, The Near-Death Experience,
80.) This was not meant in a morbid way, but quite the
opposite. It means we are here on earth for our spiritual
advancement and that our true home is the soul dimension.
To grow spiritually, however, we need to focus on our soul
purpose. Spirit communications allow us to do this joyously.
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The extent to which ADCs or spirit communications can

change our lives depends on each individual. Just as not all
NDErs are enlightened—some are still upset they had to
leave the soul world and others have difficulty in adjusting
after their return (Berman, The Journey Home, 123-124,
138)—many ADC recipients may not fully understand all
that ADCs can teach us.

With NDErs, the vast majority does experience positive

changes in their lives and attitudes, but the level of their
enlightenment depends on how seriously they take the
lessons of the NDE to heart and incorporate them in their
lives. (Berman, The Journey Home, 123-124.) With ADC
recipients, given that for many it was only one experience,
not accompanied by physical trauma (as in the case of an
NDE), they may simply take it as assurance of their loved
one’s well-being and go on with their lives. There is nothing
wrong with that approach of course. The healing from grief
and the comfort in knowing our loved ones are well and
happy are wonderful outcomes of the ADC experience.

But it is possible to go beyond this as well. I have written

about my own spiritual journey in Chapter 6 and how much
our ongoing ADCs have helped me advance along my path.
My hope in writing this book is to not only make the
bereaved open to ADCs, but also to make ADC recipients
dwell deeper on the messages they receive and what they
teach us about the spirit dimension and soul purpose. I
equally hope that general readers will gain useful knowledge
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about the spirit world and eternal love connections; and that
this knowledge will allow them to make positive changes in
their lives in line with their soul purpose.
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Chapter 18
Being Open to Spirit Communications

As monsignor Vernette has stated, signs from departed

loved ones “may be accepted or not depending upon the
personality and openness of heart of the person receiving
them.” (Jean Vernette interview in Valarino, On The Other
Side of Life, 282.) Sadly, many individuals are closed to spirit
messages, as discussed in Chapter 16 and in this chapter. For
those who are open to spirit communications but still do not
receive direct ADCs from departed loved ones, it is best to be
patient. As one bereaved person put it, “Just because you
have not, does not mean you will not. The possibility exists.”
(Devers, Goodbye Again, 159.)

In fact, people have received ADCs for the first time

several years after losing their loved one. The ADC may
have been given to protect them from a calamity, to mend
a relationship, or simply to let them know they are loved.
Sometimes the ADC is given to reassure the recipient that
he or she has made the right decision about something
important. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 26, 30, 90-91, 236-242.)

Whereas it is wonderful to receive spirit communications,

it is important for those who have not received them to not
obsessively focus on this. Demanding an ADC out of anger
or frustration is unlikely to work. Being calm and having
confidence that your departed loved one is watching over
you will help not only you but also your angel. And it is more
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likely you will receive an ADC given freely and out of love
when your angel thinks it appropriate. My father watched
over us for decades without any contact. It is likely that some
souls may prefer to do that. It is better to simply accept this
situation and be thankful that everyone has guardian angels.

Some people go to mediums to get reassurance that their

loved one is okay. I recognize that some reputable mediums
have helped grieving people by passing on messages from
departed souls, so I cannot argue against that. At the same
time, we do not need mediums to receive messages from the
spirit world. We are all part of the Light and have the
capacity to be directly connected with the soul realm. As one
NDEr expressed it, “the space between the material and
spiritual plane is merely a thin pane of glass.” (Berman, The
Journey Home, 42.)

Martin and Romanowski encourage people to be open to

ADCs from their loved ones, which is good. But they also say,
“we do not always know the exact purpose of these
transdimentional [sic] contacts.” (Martin and Romanowski,
Love Beyond Life, 15.) Actually, at a broad level, the purpose
of these contacts is quite evident: it is love and learning. Our
departed loved ones who communicate want to assure us of
our eternal love bond; and they are happy to keep guiding us
on our path to wisdom and soul advancement. The guidance
may not always be explicit; it may often manifest as
inspiration. But there has to be a degree of openness on the
part of the receiver to allow this to happen.
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Some people may be closed to ADCs because the

relationship was troubled. (Martin and Romanowski, Love
Beyond Life, 10, 26.) That is understandable. If the departed
ones were truly bad (during their life on earth) to the people
left behind, it is okay to reject ADCs from these spirits. But if
a relationship was ambivalent and had both good and bad
aspects, it is important to remember that the departed soul
is now at a higher level of understanding and may be trying
to communicate to say he or she loves the person left behind.
Being open to such messages can help resolve conflicts,
promote healing, and bring peace to both parties.

For those who have not received ADCs but are open to
them, it is important to accept any evidence that the
departed loved one has contacted someone on earth. In
Section III, there are many examples of ADCs given before
the receiver knew of the person’s death. These cases include
clocks and watches coming on and the individual finding out
later that their loved one died at that exact moment. Or
people got phone calls and then discovered that their loved
one had passed on precisely at that time. Some illustrations
were of seeing a vision, feeling a touch, or hearing the voice
of a loved one, and only afterwards learning that the person
had passed on. There were also instances of dream
visitations before knowledge of the person’s death. All these
examples should be viewed as ADCs not only by the receiver
of the message, but by others grieving for the person who
had passed on. They do not have to wonder if the ADC was
real; the fact that it was given before the receiver knew of
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the death should give the ADC extra validity in the minds of
people who may have doubts about the phenomenon.

When Death-Bed Visions Serve as ADCs

In the same way, there are cases of death-bed visions

(DBVs) that can serve as ADCs to someone else. Dying
people often have DBVs of recently departed friends or
family members. In such cases, one hopes that the family of
the spirit seen in the vision was comforted to hear of the
DBV. After all, the communication was in essence an ADC
from their loved one even though made to someone else.

For example, a young man saw a DBV in which his

recently departed best friend was waiting to take him
swimming; both had loved swimming together as boys.
The friend had been paralyzed before his death. (Callanan
and Kelley, Final Gifts, 87.) Presumably, this DBV served as a
reassuring ADC to the friend’s family telling them he was
able to do whatever he liked in the spirit world.

A young girl dying of cancer in Canada saw her close

friend in a DBV. This friend also had cancer and had died,
but the girl did not know of her friend’s death. The girl was
happy and relieved to know that her friend would help her
in her transition. The incident parallels another one back in
1889 in New York. Two girls, who were best friends, were
dying of diphtheria. One had died but the other did not know
it; nevertheless, she saw her friend in a DBV and was happy
they would be together. (Morse, Parting Visions, 17-18.) In
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both cases, it is to be hoped that the DBV not only comforted

the dying child and her parents, but also served as an ADC
that solaced the departed child’s parents.

In 1924 in Dublin, a woman dying during childbirth

suddenly looked ecstatic and reported seeing a glowing light
and her departed father’s spirit. But she was surprised to see
her sister’s spirit with him. Her sister had died a few weeks
earlier, but it had been kept from her. (Morse, Parting
Visions, 25.) For the woman as well as her relatives, this
surely was an ADC from her sister.

The relatives of a woman heard her call out from her

deathbed to her late husband and mother that she was
coming to join them. To their surprise, she then called out to
her son, whose very recent death had not been reported to
her. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 79-80.) We
can assume that the relatives saw this as an ADC telling them
that her son’s spirit was also with his loved ones in heaven.

Misunderstanding about Spirits Who Communicate

Unfortunately, some people believe that a soul who

communicates with those left behind has not yet gone to
the light. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, xx.
183-184.) One woman even prayed for her husband’s spirit
to leave, thinking it was wrong that he was with her still.
(Devers, Goodbye Again, 80-81.)
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The author, Devers, classifies this as a healthy response,

but I strongly disagree. The woman’s preset beliefs
precluded her from understanding that spirits can be in
heaven and with us. So she forced her husband to stop
communicating even though she was crying herself to sleep
every night. Moreover, she prevented him from helping her
heal and from staying connected with her in a loving way.

Although many people would agree with Devers that the

woman’s response was healthy, this is because most people
do not yet comprehend that spirits can continue to advance
and still be around those they love, guiding and helping
them. In our case, Julie’s joyous communications have taught
us that staying connected with us, helping us, and guiding us
contributes to her own spiritual advancement as well. This is
what angels do—they guide and help people, especially
those they love as soul mates. And the more they help their
loved ones in this way, the higher they move in terms of
energy levels and spiritual growth. Julie’s jubilant messages
tell us unequivocally that she is happy that we receive her
messages with joy and are grateful to be connected with her.

Yet, the books on ADCs do not capture such ideas.

Typically they mention that it is important for both parties
(the bereaved and the departed) to “let go” and move on.
Indeed if the connections result from an unhealthy
dependence that keeps either party from progressing
spiritually it would not be a positive thing. But these authors
fail to consider situations in which blissful connections help
both parties to grow and advance spiritually, helping each
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other as well as others around them. In addition, these

authors (and the receivers of ADCs they report on) may be
constrained by their own religious beliefs, which advocate
that there should not be any contact (and definitely not
continued contact) between the physical and spirit worlds.

Ghosts vs. Angels

It is very likely that these people may not have reflected

sufficiently on the differences between lower and higher
levels of energy in the spirit realm. Sometimes, even
researchers of spiritual phenomena do not understand the
difference between lower-level vs. higher-level souls (or
ghosts vs. angels). For example, Raymond Moody writes that
he wanted to use mirror gazing so that “scientists could
actually watch a person seeing a ghost.” (Moody, Reunions,
xv, xiii.) Moody is clearly misapplying the term “ghost” to an
angel, or higher-level soul.

Actually, there is huge difference between the two. At one

extreme are ghosts, lower-level souls who are trapped, and
cannot go to the Light. This includes addicts who continue an
attachment to the physical dimension to be near their vice,
such as spirits who hang around bars. (Stevenson, Children
Who Remember Previous Lives, 184, 196, 242.) Ghosts also
include people who die suddenly and cannot comprehend
what has happened. As a result, they continue to hang
around their old “haunts.” This fits with the many ghost
stories told around the world where the ghosts, according to
Professor Ian Stevenson, “behave like living persons with
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obsessive-compulsive neurosis who endlessly repeat some

action which partially re-enacts an event of the past.”
(Stevenson, Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation, 378.)

Many ADC authors do not seem to understand this

dichotomy between ghosts and angels. Devers writes (as an
ADC) about a sister seeing her teenaged brother’s spirit
“rummaging through the linen closet” to find pillowcases to
put snakes and other creatures in, exactly as he always did
before his death. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 90.)

But the fact that the brother’s spirit did not interact with
the sister or even look at her and was focused on re-enacting
his past behavior fits Stevenson’s description of a ghost
rather than a spirit offering an ADC. Although the sister said
she found comfort on seeing this apparition engaged in his
past behavior, one hopes it was only his sudden death that
had the brother stuck at this low level and that he was able
to move beyond this phase and go to the Light.

In another example, Devers reports that a woman’s

alcoholic mother deliberately estranged herself from her
children and then died of an overdose. The woman heard her
mother walking around the house for a year, but after that
she started receiving ADCs from her mother filled with
loving guidance. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 131-132.)

Neither Devers nor the woman differentiates between the

two behaviors. But the walking around the house for a year
clearly suggests repetitive, obsessive, lower-level behavior
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and the direct ADCs and loving guidance a year later show
that the mother’s spirit had reached a much higher level.

In Benedictine College, Atchison, Kansas, college students

have heard footsteps, found locked doors opened, lights they
had turned off turned on again, and heard breathing—all of
this in a building where monks spent their entire lives and
where they died. (Destination USA: Haunted Towns.)

This is a clear example of ghosts haunting a physical

space, rather than of higher-level souls. It is sad that monks,
supposedly spiritual, have been unable to go to the Light,
and just like the souls addicted to bars, they stay on in the
building to which they were addicted and which was all they
knew for the major part of their lives. If one encounters such
entities, the best thing is to tell them to go to the Light.

Different Levels of Spiritual Growth

Going beyond the dichotomy between ghosts and angels,

there are different levels of spiritual growth in the soul
dimension. Just because a spirit is not a ghost (and can
communicate with loved ones on earth) does not mean they
are highly advanced souls. The literature reports several
ADCs from spirits who are angry, or who say they need to
move on because they have much to learn. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 58, 205, 211-212.)

In Chapter 11, I related how a mother’s spirit played

pranks on her daughter and son-in-law because she was
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annoyed that the daughter did not honor her wishes

regarding her material possessions. That is clearly an
instance of a low-level soul.

A man who had been a compulsive gambler and drinker

in his life, connected to his daughter after his death by
showing her telepathically how a card trick someone else
was performing was done. There was no message of love.
Earlier, he had come to her in a dream visitation to say he
was “checking out” and walked off into darkness rather than
light. The woman knew he “arrived on the other side in some
confusion and conflict.”(Martin and Romanowski, Love
Beyond Life, 32-33, 56-58.) Also, the fact that he was still
focused on card tricks indicates his level in the spirit world.

In other cases, spirits have made excuses for their

behavior on earth rather than admit they were wrong. A
woman had harbored resentment against her mother for
various wrongs. Her mother’s spirit told her telepathically
about her own difficulties and why she had behaved as she
did. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 132.) It is unclear if the mother
regretted her behavior. If she only gave excuses for it, that
seems too defensive, not befitting a high-level spirit.

Another woman, who had always felt that her mother had
not appreciated her musical talents, had been hurt deeply by
this. Her mother’s spirit explained to her telepathically that
she had not singled her out so as to avoid competition and
jealousy among the sisters. Valuing the close relationships
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she had with her sisters, the woman concluded that this was
her mother’s gift to her. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 128.)

It is fine if this telepathic communication appeased the

daughter, but the mother’s behavior was far short of ideal.
Neither the daughter nor the author recognized this. We are
here on earth to learn and grow, and to help our soul mates
do the same. Also, we are also supposed to celebrate and
encourage the talents of our soul mates. (Dabholkar,
Departed Loved Ones Are Guardian Angels, 13; Dabholkar,
Life Review: God’s Perfect Plan, 20.)

The mother failed to do both things. She did not rejoice

in her daughter’s musical talent, nor did she teach her other
daughters to appreciate their sister’s gift. She feared
competition and jealousy but did nothing to teach her
children that this was wrong. Instead, all she did was to let
the sisters love each other conditionally (as long as no one
had a special talent). It is bad enough that the mother failed
while on earth, but even after going to the spirit world, she
did not apologize to her talented daughter for her misguided
behavior and for hurting her. This does not indicate a high-
level spirit.

It is possible that all of these souls had not yet had their
life reviews when they interacted thus in giving ADCs. If they
had, one would think they would have a better perspective
on these issues. (Dabholkar, Life Review: God’s Perfect Plan,
7-9.) But whether or not they had been through the life
review, they were not yet enlightened.
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Other authors acknowledge that some ADCs seem to

come from troubled departed souls and border on obsessive
or negative behavior. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello
From Heaven! 165, 208-214; Browning, Feathers Brush My
Heart, 220-223.) It would be better for all parties if such
ADCs are not ongoing. The bereaved in these cases should
“tell” the spirits that they do not wish further contact, and
from what I understand, their wishes will be respected.

Contrasting these examples with our own situation, we

realized that Julie was immediately at a high level of spiritual
being. As reported in Chapter 5, she was communicating
with us even as we drove to the funeral home—writing a
perfect “J” across the sky through a flying formation of geese,
which then flew ahead of us and turned left just as we did. In
this beautiful ADC, she gave us many different messages
simultaneously: The “J” in the sky showed that she was fine
and in a magical place; the flying birds indicated her freedom
and the soaring of her spirit; their flying ahead of us but in
the same direction showed that she was with us and guiding
us. The many levels of understanding that we felt intuitively
were typical of the discussions and dream interpretations
we had engaged in with Julie. This was the start of the
wondrous ADCs, full of love and wisdom, which Julie has
given us all these years. Throughout this book I have also
narrated a large number of ADCs from the literature that
conveyed messages of love or guidance, indicating that these
came from higher-level souls.
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ADCs: Once vs. Ongoing

Many people believe that ADCs are given as a final

goodbye and the spirit then goes to heaven. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 80.) They think you
have to “let go” of your loved one in order for both the
departed and the bereaved to progress. Strangely, some
people believe this even when the spirit has assured them
they will always be with them. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 6.)

The titles of many books on ADCs and DBVs, e.g., Goodbye

Again, Final Gifts, Parting Visions, and Final Farewells,
unfortunately propagate this false notion. The thinking
seems to be that once you know that your departed loved
ones are okay, you need to let them go, and get on with your
own life focusing fully on the physical world. I find that
strange. I know intuitively that love can thrive in both
dimensions with continued love connections across them.

Moreover, some people who have not received any ADCs

ask for only one visit. For example, Raymond Moody has
written of “mournful pleas of only five minutes more” from
the bereaved. He also has mentioned a mother who after a
visit from her son’s spirit said she could now “put my son’s
death behind me and get on fully with my life.” (Moody,
Reunions, ix, 206-208.) In fact, a major motivation for these
mirror gazing experiments is to provide assurance to the
subjects that their departed loved one is well and happy, so
they can go on with their lives. (Moody, Reunions, 83-102.)
 323

Sometimes, religious or psychological counselors

encourage the bereaved to discourage ongoing ADCs.
When a woman shared her anxiety with her counselor that
by sharing her mother’s ADCs with others she may have
stopped them, he compared ADCs to recurring dreams and
said once she had got the message there was no need for
them to continue. The woman accepted this explanation and
even convinced herself she felt good about it. But that very
afternoon, she got another ADC from her mother and was
delighted that her mother continued to be in touch with her.
She also mentioned that she learned a valuable lesson that
she should “continue to honor these experiences by sharing
them” and realized that the ADCs would continue.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 162-163.)

A grieving widow was told by her psychiatrist to let go

of her husband who was giving her continuing ADCs. She
decided to “let him go” against her better judgment. Many
years later she realized that she could still connect to him
and that he was helping her from the “other side” in
everyday issues; he had not left her at all. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 180, 182.)

Martin and Romanowski write that most ADCs occur in

the first year after the death, which is probably true. But
they incorrectly conclude that in cases of extended contact,
the spirits indicate that the contact would end “when their
‘work’ would be done, or their ‘mission’ completed.” (Martin
and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 5, 22.)
 324

Perhaps they came across some examples of this in their

research, but this does not mean that all extended contact
situations follow this pattern. One of their own examples is
of a daughter’s spirit who has been in touch with the mother
for over fifty years and has given no indication that there
will be an end to the contact. (Martin and Romanowski, Love
Beyond Life, 188-190.) Julie’s communications are similar
and many of her messages through electronic devices
specifically say, “I am always connected to you.”

LaGrand writes that ADCs involve “people who are

mourning the death of a loved one.” He also writes that
receiving ADCs “helps them deal with a specific problem”
or “gives them encouragement to go on with their lives.”
(LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 11.) Although many ADCs do
indeed relate to helping grieving people or to solving specific
problems, they can go far beyond such circumstances. As
explained throughout this book, ADCs can be joyous,
continuing communications.

Weiss correctly notes that in our spirit form, we can

always contact those in the physical form, but wrongly
concludes that this is only done if something specific, some
new knowledge, needs to be imparted to the recipient.
(Weiss, Messages from the Masters, 185.) Our ongoing spirit
communications from Julie demonstrate that ADCs are not
limited to circumstances when there is a specific message or
new information to be given. Julie, my father, and our other
soul mate angels are happy to tell us in a myriad ways that
 325

they love us and are watching over us, as discussed

throughout this book. I am also happy to discover through
my research that other people have experienced continuing
ADCs, as discussed in the next section.

Some people receive several ADCs but then they stop.

Some of these receivers conclude correctly that their loved
ones are always with them. Others assume that their loved
one was checking on them for a while but moved on after
being satisfied they were okay. (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 27-28, 143.) Both the
bereaved and the authors assume that in the latter cases
it was the spirit that needed reassurance and left after
receiving it. As one recipient put it, her grandmother
appeared to her because she “wanted to reassure herself
that everything was fine” before moving on.

While such assumptions may seem logical to earthly

ways, they are based on two fallacious notions. One is
that a spirit needs to manifest itself to check on us. That
is obviously not necessary; they check on us all the time
without our being aware of it. The second incorrect idea
is that the soul world or heaven is far away, and the spirit
needs to leave to get there. We know from published
accounts of NDErs as well as from Julie’s teaching, that
this is not so. “Heaven” is a beautiful realm very close to
our own—our loved ones can go back and forth easily and
as often as they like. Perhaps the ADCs stopped in these
cases because it was the receivers who were ready to
“move on” and focus on the physical dimension.
 326

One may wonder about people who have lost their

spouses; do ongoing ADCs imply that the bereaved cannot
fall in love again, or remarry? Indeed, this is not the case.
The departed spirit, depending on their level in the soul
world, is unlikely to be jealous. They would act as a guardian
angel to the bereaved and to their new partner.

This issue also has a bearing on what happens to

relationships in the spirit realm when someone has been
married more than once and happily each time. As NDErs
discovered during their otherworld experiences, such a soul
will be connected to all of the spouses, the closet tie being
determined by “love, not law.” In addition, relationships in
the soul dimension are not sexual but fully based on love.
(Cox-Chapman, The Case for Heaven, 45, 189.)

Many Instances of Ongoing ADCs

It is heartening that many people are open to the idea

of continuing ADCs. As mentioned in Chapter 13, a grieving
mother, whose son had loved deer, saw two deer by the side
of the road and knew he was okay. Since that first time,
whenever she was overcome by her loss, she saw deer and
knew her son’s spirit continued to be with her. (Guggenheim
and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 200.)

In an example of ongoing angel help, a woman had loved

her mother’s fudge but had never been able to duplicate it.
The mother promised her daughter that she would not
 327

have any trouble making her favorite fudge when she [the
mother] had passed on. Indeed, after her mother’s death,
the daughter’s fudge turned out perfect every time and
she knew her mother was helping her get it just right.
(Browning, Feathers Brush My Heart, 25-27.)

In her book on ADCs from mothers, Sinclair Browning

includes her own experience as well as those of others with
ongoing ADCs. For Browning and her family, the feathers
given by her mother’s spirit have appeared for years, telling
the family she is still with them. A woman continues to smell
roses indicating her departed mother’s presence. A daughter
and her family sense her mother’s spirit whenever they
smell her perfume. Another woman feels her mother’s
tangible guidance, through a pressure on her legs, whenever
she is faced with important decisions. Another daughter
feels her mother’s spirit as part of her own intuition and
knows her mother guides her constantly. (Browning,
Feathers Brush My Heart, 8-9, 38-39, 77-78, 102, 190.)

There are other acknowledgements of continuing ADCs.

A woman feels her grandmother squeeze her shoulder
gently a few times every year. The woman acknowledges
that these spirit communications help her tremendously and
she hopes to do the same for her family after her death.
(Devers, Goodbye Again, 16.)

Another woman, who lost her baby during childbirth, has

experienced ADCs for decades. A doctor, treating the mother
when she was in her eighties, watched her communicating
 328

telepathically with the spirit of her daughter in his

examining room. He became convinced it was real when the
mother relayed things about the doctor’s childhood and
youth she could not possibly have known. She said her
daughter’s spirit told her these details. (Martin and
Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 188-190.)

Even authors who typically think of ADCs as a one-time

gift do indirectly acknowledge continuing ADCs. For
example, LaGrand notes that the bereaved sometimes say
things like, “Her spirit will always be with me” or “He is still
watching over me.” (LaGrand, Messages and Miracles, 67.)

Guggenheim and Guggenheim include accounts in which

the departed loved ones specifically conveyed that they
would always watch over the bereaved or be with them.
(Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 78, 82,
130, 292.) The authors further mention that some people
are able to have “ongoing telepathic communications with a
deceased relative or friend” and “are able to receive advice,
not only for the important occasions of life, but for the
ordinary, day-to-day situations as well.” (Guggenheim and
Guggenheim, Hello From Heaven! 41.)

Similarly, Martin and Romanowski say that there are

“many cases in which a spirit makes repeated contacts over
many years.” (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 5.)
Rather than keeping either party from moving forward,
growth is not only possible, but enhanced, through
continued contact and communication with higher-level
 329

souls, who are already in the Light, and are both guiding and
guardian angels to those left behind.

In sharp contrast to her earlier assessment—that it was

healthy to ask a loving spirit to stop communicating so one
can go on with one’s life—Devers writes that though many
grief researchers believe that healing involves cutting off ties
to the deceased, she herself disagrees with this idea. She
says it is “important to maintain a loving relationship with
the deceased” and to “develop an internal spiritual
relationship with them.” (Devers, Goodbye Again, 127.)

Devers also reports an ADC from a woman who had many

contacts and ongoing guidance from her mother. And she
acknowledges that “some people have multiple experiences,
lasting years.” (Devers, Goodbye Again, 15, 132.)

ADCs do not have to be a one-time experience. Soul mate

angels are happy to be connected to their loved ones on
earth. At first, they want to help the bereaved through their
grieving process. Later, the people left behind can continue
to be connected with the departed spirits in a joyful, life-
affirming manner. Such ongoing connections do not hold
back either party; instead they help both parties through a
sharing of loving thoughts and feelings.

In our case, not only do Julie’s, my father’s and our other

soul mates’ ongoing messages make us happy and help us
grow, but our joyous acceptance of these contacts helps our
angels to advance spiritually as well. In addition, when these
 330

angelic communications are shared by us with other people,

it helps these people broaden their understanding of the soul
dimension and possibly connect with their own angels.

Spirit Communications Are from Known Angels

When people hear a voice that saves them from harm,

and they have not lost a loved one, they tend to assume it is
a guardian angel assigned to them, as suggested in the
myriad books on angels available today. They are right in
part; it is one of their guardian angels, but not one that has
been assigned. It could be the spirit of a soul mate who died
many years before, possibly before they were born, or a soul
mate angel who decided not to come to earth at this time, or
one who has not yet been born. (Dabholkar, Departed Loved
Ones Are Guardian Angels, 13-15.)

As an example of the last scenario, a young, unmarried

pregnant woman who had planned to give up her baby for
adoption saw a vision of a beautiful baby, surrounded by
light, reaching out to her with great love. The woman was
deeply moved by the vision and decided at once to keep the
baby. She noted later that her baby looked exactly as he had
in the vision and that she was most grateful she kept him.
(Valentine, Angels Everywhere, 119-120.)

The woman attributed the incident to an angel giving her

a chance to keep her baby, which is true in the broad sense.
But regression research has revealed that the soul can go in
and out of the fetus before birth, being still very closely tied
 331

to the soul realm. (Wambach, Life Before Life, 53, 56, 63, 99-
112, 123-150). So, the most likely angel who gave her the
vision would have been the spirit of the baby, who was
obviously one of her closest soul mates. Recall that children’s
souls are mature and eternal, just like the rest of us. That
spirit was reminding her (through the vision) of their eternal
love bond and the plans they had made together in the soul
dimension that he would come to her as her baby.

Even researchers on NDEs or on death and dying do not

seem to understand that the spirits that help us are known,
loved ones. Kenneth Ring writes that some NDErs continue
“to receive conscious guidance from light beings, showing
that help is available in everyday life and not just in the
extreme moments of near death.” He notes that NDEs show
that we are not alone when we die and in fact have never
been so—someone is always guiding us benevolently. (Ring,
Lessons from the Light, 50.) Elisabeth Kübler-Ross agrees
that we are not alone; she writes that beings of light are
around us and they guide, love, and protect us. (Kübler-Ross,
On Life After Death, 62.)

Obviously all this is correct as regards spirit guidance, but

these writers have an incomplete understanding of the issue.
They talk of beings of light without acknowledging a personal
connection. Not having experienced ADCs perhaps, they
seem totally unaware of this fact. But it is not unknown
beings of light or spirits that help us. It is our own beloved
soul mates who are our guiding and guardian angels.
 332

Continuation of Grief Discourages Ongoing ADCs

Even though many ADCs occur in times of intense grief,

reports show that a continuation of grief or bitterness
discourages ADCs. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello
From Heaven! 169, 332.) This is understandable.

A woman, who saw her father’s apparition and heard him

say she would be all right, was extremely sad when he faded
away and did not want to go through that pain of separation
ever again. (Devers, Goodbye Again, 81-82.) And apparently,
she never received any more ADCs. Perhaps her strong
feelings of not wanting to go through another interaction
kept her father from continuing to connect with her. Or, he
may have tried different ways to communicate, but she was
unable to see the signs due to her intense grief.

LaGrand relates stories in which the departed told the

bereaved to laugh and be joyous, and correctly concludes
that it is important not to go on grieving. (LaGrand, ADC:
Final Farewells, 63, 75.) The soldier mentioned earlier told
his mother repeatedly that continued grieving by the
bereaved is very hard on departed spirits. (Boylan, Thy Son
Liveth, 11, 21, 42-43.)

Theologian C. S. Lewis wrote that “the more joy there can

be in the marriage between dead and living, the better”; he
explained that he could not sense his wife’s spirit when he
was sad, but when he thought of the happy times they had,
he sensed her vividly “and in her own right.” (Attig, The
 333

Heart of Grief, 9.) Indeed, continued communications from

the soul world are more likely to occur when the bereaved
person is happy, or tries to be so, feels deeply connected
with the departed soul, and is open to ongoing messages.

It is possible that prolonged grief of the bereaved can

prevent departed souls from progressing. In a few cases, the
departed spirit told the grieving receiver to let go, so he or
she can move on. (Guggenheim and Guggenheim, Hello From
Heaven! 92, 118, 169.) But in all these reported cases, the
bereaved was grieving excessively, and unable to function
normally. They kept wishing that the departed was back
with them, which is counterproductive to healing. So it is
understandable that the spirits wanted to end the contact.

The authors provide an analogy about a young person

who goes abroad for higher study and is constantly bothered
by family with tearful requests to come home. Actually, it is
hard to imagine a family doing this to their grown child. But
even if some families do this, I can provide a contrasting
scenario, especially since Julie went away on honors
exchange programs on two occasions. When she was gone
on these programs, Julie always called or wrote, and we
enjoyed listening to her experiences. We did not ask her to
come back early nor encroach on her in any way and she felt
free to stay happily connected with us. Now we continue the
same close connection in an open, joyous way, with no
tearful demands or grieving.
 334

Based on their analogy, the Guggenheims incorrectly

suggest that ADCs are necessarily limited in number or
over time, so the departed can move ahead with their
lives as well. They seem to forget the opposite case where
departed loved ones joyfully continue to stay in touch
with those left behind.

Accepting Spirit Communications with Love and Joy

Dealing with bereavement is very complex. Grief and

healing are necessary to move forward. But the phase of
overwhelming sadness does not have to be prolonged. This
is why being joyously connected with departed loved ones
is critical. It effectively dissolves the deep pain and sorrow
associated with loss.

Attig writes that signals from our departed loved ones tell
us they are in a good place and “they want us to hold them in
our hearts” with lasting love. (Attig, The Heart of Grief, 285.)
Other authors agree that it is important “to embrace and
treasure ADCs” and to remember and honor departed loved
ones. (Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 15, 24.)

But not everyone understands the importance of

accepting spirit communications with love and joy. Grief
counselor LaGrand says there are “two vexing issues” about
ADCs: whether maintaining a relationship with the deceased
is detrimental to readjusting to life, and why all mourners do
not experience ADCs. (LaGrand, ADC: Final Farewells, 6.)
 335

Regarding the first issue, based on our personal

experience, Julie’s spirit communications have made it far
easier for us to readjust to life after our tragic loss, enhanced
our perspective and outlook on life (both in the physical
dimension and beyond), and allowed us to help others learn
and grow. We believe the same benefits await those who
joyfully recognize and accept spirit messages of love.

Regarding the second issue, it is possible that most

mourners are given ADCs, but many do not recognize them.
Some ADCs specifically mention the departed soul’s
frustration when they could not get through to the recipient.
(Martin and Romanowski, Love Beyond Life, 256.)

The soldier’s spirit mentioned earlier told his mother

about the despondency of his comrades killed in battle when
they could not convey to their loved ones on earth that they
were okay. (Boylan, Thy Son Liveth, vi, 11.) Other soldiers’
spirits were also deeply saddened if their families could not
understand that they continued to be with them. (Ford, The
Life Beyond Death, 109.)

It is understandable that departed souls who cannot get

through to loved ones may stop trying to communicate. But
that does not mean they stop watching over those they love.

If you open your hearts and minds and be patient, you

may learn to recognize the sometimes subtle signs from the
loving, spirit world. As Sinclair Browning writes, “Sometimes
our radios are turned too low” and we “fail to recognize the
 336

gifts that are sent to us… [we] don’t trust that first intuitive
burst of [knowledge]…we brush it off or chalk it up to our
imaginations and in so doing we cheat ourselves out of some
of the best gifts we will ever have.” (Browning, Feathers
Brush My Heart, xv, 267-268.)

At the same time, if you never receive ADCs, it is perfectly

all right as I mentioned before. Simply understanding that
your departed loved one is close to you and watching over
you should give you comfort and peace.

It is just that Julie’s ADCs (and spirit communications

from my father and other soul mate angels after Julie’s
transition) have given us “a sense of the miraculous” that
Berman says most people have lost in today’s materialistic
and rational world, but that many NDErs have recaptured
due to their encounters in the soul dimension. It is the ability
to be in awe of a sunset or a little bird as a gift from a
powerful and loving source, instead of merely admiring its
aesthetic beauty. (Berman, The Journey Home, 20.) That
sense of wonder and gratitude is what one can capture by
being joyfully open to loving spirit communications from
one’s own soul mate angels.
 337

Annotated Bibliography

Attig, Thomas. The Heart of Grief: Death and the Search for
Lasting Love, New York: Oxford University Press, 2000.
Professor Attig encourages the bereaved to build loving
relationships with departed loved ones by sustaining their
memories and staying connected instead of letting go.

Bailey, Lee W. and Jenny Yates, editors. The Near-Death

Experience: A Reader. New York: Routledge, 1996.
This book contains many essays from people who had
NDEs and others who try to understand the phenomenon.
Berman, Phillip. L. The Journey Home: What Near-Death
Experiences and Mysticism Teach Us About the Gift of Life.
New York: Pocket Books, 1996.
Berman had an NDE at age 16 when he nearly drowned.
Later, after his infant daughter’s death, Berman, as a scholar,
studied other people’s NDEs. His book details actual NDEs
and mystic experiences from a large number of people and
draws insights about the lessons we can learn from these.

Brinkley, Dannion, with Paul Perry, Saved by the Light. New

York: Villard Books, 1994.
Brinkley recounts his two NDEs, in which he had lengthy
encounters with beings of light. He also shares insights about
the spirit dimension and soul purpose.

Browning, Sinclair, Editor. Feathers Brush My Heart: True

Stories of Mothers Touching Their Daughters’ Lives After
Death. New York: Warner Books, 2002.
 338

This is a collection of ADCs received by women from their

mothers’ spirits. It includes messages of love, continuing
contact, and warnings against impending danger.

Boylan, Grace Duffie. Thy Son Liveth: Messages from a Soldier

to His Mother. Boston, MA: Little, Brown, and Company,
1920.
A mother has written about her soldier son’s spirit
communications to her through Morse code, telepathy, and
automatic writing, after he was killed in World War I.

Callanan, Maggie and Patricia Kelley. Final Gifts:

Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and
Communications of the Dying. New York: Bantam, 1992.
Two hospice nurses relate how the dying often share
death-bed visions and glimpses of the spirit world.

Cox-Chapman, Mally. The Case for Heaven: Near-Death

Experiences as Evidence of the Afterlife. New York: G. P.
Putnam’s Sons, 1995.
Journalist Cox-Chapman heard a disembodied voice
telling her to relax when she was in an auto accident. She
later interviewed people who had NDEs to better
comprehend and describe what heaven is all about.

Dabholkar, Pratibha A., Departed Loved Ones Are Guardian

Angels, available on Obooko, 2023.
Professor Dabholkar has drawn new implications by
combining two streams of literature —after-death
 339

communications (ADCs) and the near-death experience

(NDE)—to explain who guardian angels really are.

Dabholkar, Pratibha A., Life Review: God’s Perfect Plan,

available on Obooko, 2023.
Based on scholarly research, Professor Dabholkar has
written about the life review that NDErs go through (and
that everyone will experience on dying) as God’s perfect plan
to deal with people’s imperfections and evil actions.

Destination USA: Haunted Towns, The Travel Channel, April

27, 2008.
A television program about ghosts and hauntings.

Devers, Edie. Goodbye Again: Experiences with Departed

Loved Ones. Kansas City, MO: Andrews and McMeel, 1997.
Psychotherapist Devers relates ADCs from many
interviews collected for her dissertation.

Ford, Arthur. The Life Beyond Death. (As told to Jerome

Ellison) New York: Berkley Medallion Books, 1971.
The author shares knowledge about the spirit realm
obtained through other people’s ADCs as well as through his
own NDE.

Fruhlinger, Joshua. “Man Believes His Dead Wife is

Contacting Him Via Cell Phone,”
http://www.switched.com/2008/04/02/man-believes-his-
dead-wife-is-contacting-him-via-cell-phone/, April 2, 2008.
 340

The writer clearly does not believe in ADCs and wrote this
just to amuse readers. The posted comments show the
readers to be even lower in their understanding about the
spirit world and in compassion. Nevertheless, it is a good
example of an ADC through an object and “rings” true.

Guggenheim, Bill and Judy Guggenheim. Hello From Heaven!

New York: Bantam, 1996.
The authors, who coined the term after-death
communication, share ADCs from interviews they
conducted. They categorize these ADCs and briefly discuss
what we could learn from these experiences.

Kübler-Ross, Elisabeth. On Life After Death. Berkeley, CA:

Celestial Arts, 1991.
Dr. Kübler-Ross, a pioneering researcher on the subjects
of death and dying, has written four essays in this book to
capture her thinking about dying, what happens afterwards,
and what we should do while here on earth.

LaGrand, Louis E. After Death Communication: Final

Farewells. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 1997
Grief counselor LaGrand offers many examples of ADCs.
But his views tend to be religious and he shows a lack of
conviction about the reality of ADCs.

LaGrand, Louis E. Messages and Miracles: Extraordinary

Experiences of the Bereaved. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn, 1999
LaGrand offers even more examples of ADCs but
continues his tentative view of whether ADCs are real.
 341

Lewis, D. “All in Good Faith,” Nursing Times, 1987, volume

83, 40-43.
Reports the findings of a study on visions seen by nurses.

Marie, Julia. Letter to The Compassionate Friends, Portland,

Oregon, undated.
A bereaved mother writes about her son’s ADCs using
birds and feathers.

Martin, Joel and Patricia Romanowski. Love Beyond Life: The

Healing Power of After-Death Communications. New York:
Dell Publishing, 1997.
This is a collection of ADCs from bereaved people whom
the authors interviewed. The authors focus on the healing
that can come from such ADCs and encourage the bereaved
to accept communications from departed loved ones.

Matott, Justin. My Garden Visits. New York: Ballantine Books,

1997.
An avid gardener writes about several visitations from his
mother’s spirit when he was immersed in gardening. The
book describes these visits and spirit communications and
what they taught him about life.

Miller, Jamie C., Laura Lewis, and Jennifer Basye Sander,

editors. Heavenly Miracles. New York: William Morrow,
2000.
This edited book has individual stories of guardian angels
and answered prayers. It contains a few incidents of ADCs,
 342

but without that terminology. It also includes remarkable

instances of adult children partially experiencing the
passage into the Light along with their departing parents.

Moody, Raymond with Paul Perry. Life After Life: The

Investigation of a Phenomenon—Survival of Bodily Death,
New York: Bantam Books, 1976, c1975.
This book by psychiatrist Moody stimulated research and
philosophical thought into the near-death experience (NDE),
thus labeled first by Moody.

Moody, Raymond with Paul Perry. Reunions: Visionary

Encounters With Departed Loved Ones, New York: Villard
Books, 1993.
Moody discusses the history of mirror gazing as a means
to connect with spirits and describes his own experiments
with this technique. His subjects relate visions and
communications with departed family or friends after
mirror gazing, which seems to induce a hypnagogic state.

Morse, Melvin, with Paul Perry. Closer to the Light: Learning

from Children's Near-Death Experiences. New York: Villard
Books, 1990.
Pediatrician Morse discusses several NDEs related to him
by his young patients and explains how they opened his
mind to spirit experiences.

Morse, Melvin with Paul Perry. Parting Visions: Uses and

Meanings of Pre-death, Psychic, and Spiritual Experiences.
New York: Villard Books, 1994.
 343

Morse discusses a variety of spiritually transformative

experiences (such as ADCs, DBVs, and NDEs) related to him
by his patients as well as others. He deplores reluctance in
the medical community to recognize that these encounters
are real, and any tendency to dismiss them as hallucinations.
He writes of his own acceptance of such experiences and
what they have taught him about the important things in life.

Ring, Kenneth. Heading toward Omega: In Search of the

Meaning of the Near-Death Experience, New York: W.
Morrow, 1984.
Professor Ring taught a university-level course on NDEs
and also interviewed experiencers. His book shares his
findings and insights.

Ring, Kenneth. Lessons From the Light: What We Can Learn

from the Near-Death Experience. New York: Plenum Press
Insight Books, 1998.
Professor Ring discusses how NDEs change lives and
perspectives. He points out that readers who apply these
insights and lessons to their own lives will embark on a
better path, more attuned to the Light beyond.

Stevenson, Ian. Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation.

Charlottesville, VA: University Press of Virginia, 1974.
Professor Stevenson reports on twenty reincarnation
cases, carefully backed by facts and comprehensive details to
rule out alternative explanations.
 344

Stevenson, Ian. Children Who Remember Previous Lives: A

Question of Reincarnation. Charlottesville, VA: University
Press of Virginia, 1987.
Professor Stevenson writes about reincarnation based on
children’s testimonies about past lives, which he tested for
accuracy with a comprehensive list of facts the narrators
could not have known from their present lives.

Valarino, Evelyn Elsaesser. On The Other Side of Life:

Exploring the Phenomenon of Near-Death Experience. New
York: Insight Books, 1997.
Valarino, a researcher and author, conducted thoughtful
interviews on NDEs with an impressive list of scholars,
philosophers, scientists, and doctors. These interviews add
greatly to our knowledge of the spirit dimension.

Valentine, Lynn. Angels Everywhere: Miracles and Messages.

Nashville, TN: Premium Press America, 1999.
This edited book describes several incidents in which
people were helped or saved by unseen entities. It contains a
few remarkable incidents of ADCs but characterized as the
work of angels as viewed in religion. (The book is typical of
countless books on angel encounters available today.)

Wambach, Helen. Life Before Life. New York: Bantam Books,

1979.
Wambach, a psychologist and researcher, regressed 750
people to before their births. She reported on what the
subjects said about the spirit realm, soul mate groups, and
reincarnation.
 345

Weiss, Brian. Messages from the Masters. London: Warner

Books, 2000.
Psychiatrist and philosopher Weiss shares teaching
passed on to him by his “spirit guides.” (Although he does
not acknowledge them as such, the guides are either his
departed loved ones, or part of his eternal soul mate group,
who stayed behind and who watch over him.)

About the Author

Dr. Pratibha A. Dabholkar (Ph.D., Georgia State

University), emerita professor, University of Tennessee, has
made a deep study of spiritually transformative experiences
(such as ADCs, NDEs, and DBVs). She writes and teaches
about these subjects and related issues to inform and
enlighten people. She also writes fiction books to help
readers comprehend these important phenomena through
engaging stories. In addition, Dr. Dabholkar uses her
learning in these areas as a lens to evaluate selected classic
and modern films on angels, heaven, and associated subjects.
See www.love-and-learning.info for more information on the
author, her inspiration, and her work.
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