INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIP SKILLS – CHEESBRO CHAPTER 6

Main ideas:

1. Identify the importance of interpersonal relationships

2. Recognize elements of supportive and defensive communication climates
3. Describe the differences among assertive, aggressive and nonassertive communication
4. Describe the characteristics of each element in the assertion messages
5. Provide examples of 4 parts of an assertion message

Main idea 1: Identify the importance of interpersonal relationships

- Interpersonal relationships are critical in both your work success and career progress.
+ Positive interpersonal relationships will allow effective communication and understanding
among employees
+ Relating to your “boss” is one of the most important relationships you will establish in your
career.
- Interpersonal relationships are critical to success and happiness

Main idea 2:

- There are 2 categories – supportive and defensive climates

- There are 6 qualities within each category>

Supportive climate
Description: Evaluation:
Description messages that explain your Evaluative comments often begin with the
feelings, your reactions and your needs to pronoun “you”
others “you gave me unclear direction”, ‘You were
Statements like “I am confused by your rude to that customers,”,…
comments,”,…
Problem orientation Control
- Problem orientation is a point of view Control in a conflict situation expect the
you share with another that says: other person to change their behaviour
“We have a problem Controlling does not result in a win-win
“We can find solution outcomes
We can work together
Spontaneity Strategy: for serious situation
Spontaneity refers to genuine, natural way of Strategy, on the other hand, involves
communicating with honesty and openness manipulation, tricks, or a planned script
rather than free flowing, open
communication.
Empathy Neutrality
Empathy communicates respect, Neutrality expresses a lack of concern with a
understanding and acceptance to another, it detaches, impersonal tone.
involves your ability to put yourself in Can result from Jack of first-hand experience,
another’s place making it difficult for you to understand
Empathic people consider: If I were you, how someone else’s feelings. However, neutrality
would I feel? can also occur from self-centeredness and an
 unwillingness to be fully attentive to the
sharing of others
Equality Superiority
Shares a sense of value and mutual respect Involves looking down on others, creating
regardless power, status or position feelings of inadequacy, fault or failure
You approach others with a sense of equality,
you perceive their inherent worth, regardless
of differences that may exist between you
and them
Provisionalism: an open-minded view of new Certainty: a closed-minded, know-it-all view
ideas, trying new behaviors and seeking new of the world with no sense no need to for
solutions changes
- This list of qualities under supportive climates the foundation for the 4 part assertion messages

Main idea 3:

- There are 3 main styles of communication:

a) Nonassertive:
- Definition: respecting others while stating your thoughts, fellings, wants, or needs indirectly or
not at all
b) Assertive: the most conductive

Nonassertive Assertive Aggressive

Definition respecting others Stating what you Stating thoughts,
while stating your think, fell, want or wants, feelings or
thoughts, feelings, need in a way that is needs directly and
wants, or needs direct, honest, and honestly but in a way
indirectly or not at all respectful of others that is disrespectful
of others
Advantages Are perceived as easy Builds trust, helps Certainty, a way of
to please and maybe prevent conflicts, and getting needs met.
more cooperative enables you to Also, somewhat
team players communicate effective in
effectively preventing conflict
Dis Frequently fail to get
their needs met, feel
resentful about
always giving in
others and suffer low
self-esteem from
refusing to stand up
for themselves

Communicating with
people who are
nonassertive can be
frustrating because
they rarely share their
 true thoughts and
feelings

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