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SNAIL PIECE
LET’S FACE IT - there are a lot of
problems in our country. But no matter
if we all ‘pack for Perth’, or find
ourselves working or living in another
country, it is always great to hear
Sefrican slang. During one of my recent
‘surfing’ sessions, I found a great
website which listed many Sefrican
expressions, with the emphasis on
Durban slang.
Here are a few samplers:
Ace - (Alone, solitary) “I was out there
on my ace when someone shouted
“Shark!”
Babalaas (‘Bub-ba-lars’) - The hangover
from hell, fondly called a “Barbie”.
The Babalaas is no mythical beast. If
you can look at yourself in the mirror,
you’ll be able to examine that furry
tongue slithering in a mumbling,
parched mouth, through your puffy
eyelids which scrape across your
bloodshot eyeballs. (I was the one who
proved the beast existed) J
China - (A friend) And a colleague or
acquaintance, or someone you don’t
know at all. It can be used
aggressively. “Are you tuning me kak
China?”
(Us oldies who have ‘senior moments’ use
this word extensively. We can never
remember anyone’s name. In fact – all
my friends are called “China”).
Not to be confused with “Connection”,
conneko, kanoni (Friend, buddy)
“Jimmy’s my big connection. We surf
together every day.”
Ducked - (Left, departed) “As soon as I
checked the boere pull in, I ducked.”
(As soon as I saw the police arrive, I
left.)
For lots more – go to http://
www.wavescape.co.za/bot_bar/
surfrikan/slang.html
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President Mbeki goes on an
official state visit to a small country in
the middle of Africa. At the airport he
is met by this country’s Minister of
Harbours. All of a sudden Mr. Mbeki
realizes that this is absurd, this country
has no harbours as it is landlocked! He
is very puzzled and decides to find out
what the story is.
At the official state banquet later that
evening, he leans over to the President
and asks, “Mr. President, why do you
have a Minister of Harbours when you
don’t have any harbours?”
The President looks Mr. Mbeki straight
in the eye and says, “Well, you know that
may be true Mr. Mandela, but I was just
as puzzled as to why you have a Minister
of Law and Order?”
Aunt
Gertie
DEAR GERTIE:
I was recently married. I have a daughter,
"Courtney," from a previous relationship.
Things were great before the wedding. We
included Courtney in the planning. However,
things turned sour. Courtney kept causing
problems with my husband, and they both looked
to me to work it out. I was being torn in two.
Nothing I said to either of them, or if I
just left the room to force them to work it
out without me, things only got worse.
I left my husband over this - stressed out.
Everyone told me I shouldn’t let my daughter
dictate what was going on in my life. But I
can’t force my child to live in a home where
she doesn’t feel welcome. Did I make the right
decision? I still love my husband, but I must
look out for what is best for my daughter.
SECOND THOUGHTS
DEAR Second Thoughts,
Of course you have to look out for what is
best for your child. Although you may have
done the right thing in leaving, however, I
think you left too soon.
Courtney never had to share her mother's
love and attention with anyone before. She
was fighting for total possession of her par-
ent, which wasn't healthy for either of you.
Before leaving your hus-
band, it would have been
better to try family
counseling to improve the
level of communication,
toleranceandunderstand-
ing between the "combat-
ants." Relationships are
a minefield without kids,
and it takes a lot more
patience and understand-
ing when there ARE kids
involved. Adults tend to
forget how confused they
are at the best of times,
never mind when a step-
father comes into the
mix. If this was a recent
occurence, you might be
able to salvage this situ-
ation with some open and
honestcommunicationbe-
tween all parties con-
cerned.
Good luck! Gertie.
Fatal Attraction!!
This past week, the papers have
been full of the results of the ‘fear
of crime’ survey conducted by the
company ‘Research Surveys’, among
2000 people living in the country’s
cities. The respondents, surprisingly,
ranked Durban the second safest city,
with 77% of residents feeling they are
in danger, while Port Elizabeth was
perceived to be the most dangerous
city in the country, with 86%.
Johannesburg ranked a lowly 69%.
Statistics, as we all know, can be
very misleading, and it must be
emphasised that overall, the average
was 77%. This means that over two
thirds of city residents nationwide,
are living in fear. Now, Snail Mail, has
repeatedly slated the inefficiency of
government, it’s policies, and it’s
failure to address basic issues, such
as safety and security, housing,
sanitation, electricity and job creation
on a provincial level. We now have to
look at the BIG picture and realise that
our government has ‘dropped the ball’,
so to speak.
The reason clichés such as “absolute
power corrupts absolutely” exist, is
because history has a tendency to
repeat itself. It is said that we “learn
from our mistakes”, but it is apparent
that new regimes always think that
these old adages do not apply to them.
“Let us make our own mistakes”, seems
to be the thinking. It is a bit like a
parent - child relationship. The child
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does not take kindly to advice and
guidance from the parent. “What do
YOU know?” is the mindset. All of you
parents reading this will probably
chuckle at that.
The fact is, the child, (in this case,
the ANC government – with a 75%
majority) will inevitably come around
to the parent’s way of thinking as it
matures. However, in a family unit, the
learning curve is manageable. When the
child is the government, the learning
process affects millions of citizens.
My advice to the powers that be is:
Resist the trappings of office. Forget
about prestige, power and personal
goals. Politicians must remember that
we are, at last, a democracy, and that
they are accountable to the public.
Corruption must be rooted out, crime,
basic services and job creation must
be the top priorities, and public
servants must heed the ‘Batho Pele’
principles, which, if followed, will
ensure they become true servants of
the public.
South Africa is in danger of falling
into the same quagmire that the other
50-odd countries in Africa have. Let
us remember the words from the last
stanza of our National Anthem:
“Sounds the call to come together,
And united we shall stand,
Let us live and strive for freedom,
In South Africa our land”.
Conrad Smit
F
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