1.

INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS

a) Define the term life skills.
b) Categories of lifeskills.
c) Living values and core values.
d) Relationship between life skills and living values.
2. SELF AWARENESS
a) Self description.
b) Importance of self awareness.
c) Goal setting.
d) Challenges that hinder goal setting.
e) Strategies of overcoming the challenges.
3. SELF ESTEEM
a) Meaning of self esteem.
b) Signs of high and low self esteem.
c) Effects of low self esteem.
d) Factors that enhances high self esteem.
e) Importance of high self esteem.
f) Values associated with high self esteem.
4. STRESS MANAGEMENT
a) Meaning of stress.
b) Causes of stress.
c) Effects of stress.
d) Coping with stress.
e) Forms of positive stress.
f) Values associated with positive stress.
5. COPING WITH STRESS
a) Definition of emotions.
b) Good and bad feelings.
c) Causes of good and bad feelings.
d) Meaning of emotional intelligence.
e) Feelings which can lead to risky behavior.
f) Ways of coping with negative behaviours.
g) Values associated with emotional intelligence.
6. EMPATHY
a) Definition of empathy.
b) Importance of empathy.
c) Differences between empathy and sympathy.
d) Situations requiring Empathy.
e) Values associated with empathy.
7. ASSERTIVENESS.
a) Meaning of assertiveness.
b) Characteristics of an assertive person.
c) Steps to being assertive.
d) Importance of being assertive.
e) Difference between assertiveness and aggression.
f) Difference between peer pressure and peer influence.
g) Values associated with assertiveness.
8.NEGOTIATION.
a) Definition of negotiation.
b) Importance of negotiation.
c) Situations that require negotiation.
d) Negotiating techniques.
e) Values associated with negotiation.
9. NO- VIOLENT CONFLICT RESOLUTION
a) Definition of terms.
b) Causes of conflicts.
c) Consequences of conflict.
d) Types of conflict.
e) Ways of dealing with conflict .
f) Skills for conflicts management.
g) Institutions that resolve conflict in the community.
h) Values related to conflict resolution.
10. EFFECTIVE DECISION MAKING
a) Meaning of decision making.
b) Situations that require decision making.
c) Challenges facing youth in decision making.
d) Factors influencing decision making.
e) Steps to effective decision making.
f) Decision making institutions within the community.
g) Values associated with effective decision making.
11. CRITICAL THINKING
a) Meaning of critical thinking.
b) Risky situations.
c) Consequences of making decisions without thinking critically.
d) Values associated with critical thinking.
12. CREATIVE THINKING
a) Definition
b) Situations that require creative thinking.
c) Importance.
d) Consequences of not thinking creatively.
 e) Values associated with creative thinking.
13. PROBLEM SOLVING.
a) Problem areas .
b) Causes of problem.
c) Problem solving areas.
d) Values necessary for solving problems.

14. LEISURE
a) Definition of leisure.
b) Effects of misuse of leisure.
c) Activities for positive leisure.
d) Lifeskills for positive use of leisure.
e) Values for positive use of leisure.

15. TIME MANAGEMENT.

a) Definitions of terms.
b) Work schedule.
c) Time management chart.
d) Importance of time management.
e) Time robbers.
16. GENDER EDUCATION.
a) Definition.
b) Agents prospecting gender.
c) Gender stereotyping.
d) Effects of gender mainstreaming.
e) Strategies to eliminate gender discrimination.
17. DRUG AND SUBSTANCE ABUSE
a) Definition of terms.
b) Commonly abused drugs.
c) Causes of drug and substance abuse.
d) Symptoms of drug and substance abuse.
e) Relationship between drug and substance abuse.
f) Prevention of drug and substance abuse.
g) Management of drug and substance abuse.
h) Life skills and values necessary.
18. HIV AND AIDS.
a) Definition of terms.
b) Modes of transmission.
c) Signs and symptoms of HIV.
d) Prevention of HIV.
 e) Misconception about HIV and AIDS.
f) Care and support

19. CHILD LABOUR

a) Definition of terms.
b) Differentiate between child labour and child work.
c) Forms of childlabour.
d) Factors leading to childlabour.
e) Awareness on child labour.
f) Interruptions.
g) Appropriate lifeskills.
20. HUMAN RIGHTS
a) Definition of terms.
b) Types of human needs.
c) UN conventions.
d) Categories of child rights.
e) Importance of child rights.
f) Principles of child rights.
g) Lifeskills and values.
21. RELATIONSHIPS.
a) Types of relationships.
b) Developing healthy relationships.
c) Influence of relationship on behaviour.
d) Values associated with relationships.

REFERENCES
• Waehira at al (2009) essentials lifeskills volume one, Oxford university press.
• Wanjama at all (2006) lifeskills Jomo Kenyatta foundation Kenya.
• Butterworth and Thwaitas G.Thinking skillsCambridge university press, New
York
• Thompson Neil (2009) people skills 3rd edition Palgrave MacMillan ,London
• Dana D( 2001)conflict resolution,MC graw Hill London
INTRODUCTION TO LIFESKILLS
Meaning of lifeskills
They are the psychosocial competences or abilities that helps individuals to deal
effectively with the demands and challenges of life.
They are abilities for positive behaviours that enable to individuals to deal effectively
with the demands and challenges of everyday life.
IMPORTANCE OF LIFESKILLS.
✓ They empower individuals to think and behave constructively when dealing with
themselves and as they relate with other people.
✓ They help individuals to succed and experience fulfilled life in the society.
✓ They serve as foundational tools for life ,enabling people to adopt and change
according to the situations they find themselves in.
✓ Help individuals to deal and cope more effectively with challenges of life .
✓ Helps students acq uire knowledge,skills and attitudes that help them to leave
more successfully and fulfill lifes in theirb families and their communities.

IMPORTANCE OF LIFESKILLS TO YOUNG PEOPLE

✓ It helps them to have greater control of their llives in promoting healthy
behavior and avoiding risky situations.
✓ It guides them in making informed choices and decisions.
✓ They enable them to set realistic goals.
✓ They help them to evaluate the actions ,views,feelings and values inorder to
behave more responsibly.
✓ They help them to form and maintain healthy relationships
BENEFITS OF LIFESKILLS EDUCATION TO THE SOCIETY.
EDUCATIONAL BENEFITS
✓ Strengthens teacher ,learner relationships.
✓ Leads to desirable behave change in the learner
✓ Improves discipline in learning institutions.
✓ Reduces learner such as absentism ,drug and substance abuse ,teenage
pregnancies.
✓ Help learners improve the academic performance.
SOCIAL BENEFITS
✓ Improves the socialization process among individuals such as relating with
others in a friendly way.
✓ Enable individuals to choose good and reliable friends
✓ Assist individuals to recognize and avoid risk situations
HEALTH BENEFITS
✓ Leads to control and prevention of disease and infections i.e HIV/AIDS and
other stis.
✓ Contributes to aperson well being ( physical, mental ,emotional and social)
 ✓ Helps people to be responsible for their own health and other peoples health.

CULTURAL BENEFITS
✓ Enable people to adopt and maintain meaningful cultural practices and avoid
harmful cultural practices.
✓ Promotes harmonious interactions between people of different culture.
ECONONOMIC BENEFITS
✓ Lead to high productivity due to a motivated ,strong and energetic walk force.
✓ Savings are increased.
CATEGORIES OF LIFESKILLS
❖ Skills of knowing and living with oneself
❖ Skills of knowing and living with others
❖ Skill of making effective decisions
SKILLS OF KNOWING AND LIVING WITH ONESELF
These are skills for increasing personal confidence and abilities to take responsibility
and make a difference.
Skills in this category are,
Self awearness
This is the ability to know one’s potential,limitations, feelings as well as positioning the
society.
Self esteem
This is one’s opinion about herself or himself, one can have high or low self esteem.
Coping with emotions.
This entails knowing your own feelings or emotions and being aware on how they
influence your behavior.
Understanding emotions help one respond appropriately and do what is right .Emotions
help one to have self control.
Coping with stress
Stress is a psychological condition characterized by pressure , tension, and worry res
ulting to challenging situations in ones life.

SKILLS OF KNOWING AND LIVING WITH OTHERS

This is a skill of knowing to relate well with the people.Human beings are social beings
who does not leave in isolation . We need to know how to relate with one another
appropriately hence the importance of interpersonal skills .These skills include:
Effective communication
This is the process whereby messages are passed from one person to another verbally
or non verbally so that one may act in a given behavior which leads to achieving desire
results.
Empathy
This is the ability to understand, imagine and appreciate challenging situations that
another person is going through and assisting him or her to come up with solution.

Negotiation skills
This is the ability to discuss issues in calm and open way so as to reach a consensus or
argument based on some understanding.Negotiations skills helps one to state their
position more openly to convince one another to reach a compromise without allowing
other people to take advantage of the other side.
Conflict resolution
Conflicts exist when one experience serious disagreements resulting from differences
in opinions ,conflict resolution is a deliberate action aimed at creating peaceaful
environment by establishing a fair play.
Assertiveness
It is the ability to express ones feelings and desires without threatening or hearting
others.
SKILLS OF EFFECTIVE DECISION MAKING
Effective decision making is important especially when we deal with complex
situations.This skills include:
Promlem solvingThis is where we identify the best alternative to overcome challenging
problems or situations one encounter in our lives
Critical thinking
It is the ability to analyse and evaluate ideas or issues objectively.It involves weighing
opinions and making rational choices that are well taught out inorder to arrive at a
rational decision
Creative thinking
This refers to skillful and imaginative use of ideas to solve an expected situations or
problems
LIVING VALUES
Values are the principles and beliefs that influence the behavior and way of life of a
group of people or community.
They are ideas beliefs and principles that are worth to a person .Living values includes,
cooperation , freedom, happiness,honesty ,tolerance ,unity, peace,respect, humility
,responsibility love etc
❖ Cooperation
It is about working with others in order to achieve the set goals.Cooperation is based on
faith ,love ,trust and understanding.
❖ Tolerance
This is the ability to accept others even though they may have different views ,beliefs
and practices.A tolerant person accepts and accommodates all situations.
❖ Respect
It’s the awareness that everyone has values .Respect enhances understanding.It is being
polite and concern towards others.
❖ Happiness.
It is the quality of always being positive and cheerful about life.Happiness is achieved
when we spend our times in a worthly way.
❖ Honest
It’s the ability of always telling the trust.
❖ Humility
It’s the value of believing that everyone else is as important as I am, therefore desiring a
good living and a good treatment
❖ Love
It is a deep feeling of affection towards a person or something .It involves being kind,
caring and concern towards someone.
❖ Responsibility
This having a sense duty and being answerable for one’s actions.
It is doing what is required without supervision.
BENEFITS OF LIVING VALUES
➢ A life filled with values is a life of self respect and dignity.
➢ Values brings independence and freedom from external influences.
➢ Improves self esteem and confidence-people who have good values feel happy
and proud of themselves.
➢ Brings cohensiveness and harmony in the society –where people observe values
tend to be united .
➢ It enhances development of desirable behaviours.
SELF AWARENESS
Knowing and living with self.
It’s the ability to describe myself .Self awareness implies to the pictures or image that
we have about ourselves.Human beings are motivated or driven by their judgement on
self, their development depend on what they think of themselves and how they value
self.
GOAL SETTING
Goals are objectives that we set and work hard to achieve .Its important that individuals
know who they are ,their potential,strength, talents and even their weaknesses as they
set their goals.
IMPORTANCE OF GOAL SETTING
✓ Setting goals gives us something to look forward to.
✓ Setting goals gives us motivation and energy.
CHALLENGES OF ATTAINING GOALS
❖ Lack of direction and focus .
❖ Taking wrong paths to success.
❖ Despair / lack of confidence and hope
❖ Fear
 ❖ Lack of discipline
❖ Lack of decisiveness.

OVERCOMING THE CHALLENGES

❖ Learn to set goals that are realistic
❖ Seek to do what you love most-what you love,inspire you and makes life have a
meaning.
❖ Try to discover your talents and gifts
❖ Be optimistic and acquire a positive attitude.
❖ Remain focused and motivated
SELF AWARENESS
Self awareness is the process of getting to understand ones feelings , attitudes and
values.Knowing who one is and how best to live with oneself .It entails the following:
✓ Understanding own abilities or strength .
✓ Understanding own weaknesses or limitations.
✓ Understanding own emotions or feelings.
✓ Understanding own ambitions ,aspirations or goals.
✓ Understanding own background
IMPORTANCE OF SELF AWARENESS
❖ It builds self confidence
❖ It improves high self esteem
❖ It improves behavior patterns
❖ It leads to health living
❖ It helps to deal with prejudice or discrimination
❖ It enhances interpersonal relationships
❖ It enhances achievement of personal goal
SELF IDENTITY
Refers to ones individuality ,uniqueness,distinctiveness ,characteristics or
personality.These are the qualities that distinguish one person from another and the
counciousness and knowledge of ones own abilities,feelings, emotions, strength and
weak points.Self identity is critical to successful living as we can only exploit our talents ,
capabilities and skills to the extend that we are aware of them.Self awareness helps one
to understand one self in terms of abilities, feelings, emotions, strengths
,weakpoints,promotes high self esteem.

IMPORTANCE OF SELF IDENTITY

Self identity is probably one of the most important factor for human success. Self
identity assist us in the following areas;
❖ Enhance interpersonal relationships
❖ Promotes self acceptance.
 ❖ Enhance achievement of personal goals
❖ Discover our potential and set goals based on these strengths
❖ Promotes self esteem.
❖ Increase self drive and productivity.

FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE SELF IDENTITY

The basis of our identity begins with our family of origin and any family history that is
known to us.
Our self identity is largely influenced by;
✓ Family background.
✓ Level of education
✓ Socializing agents
✓ Social-cultural environment
✓ Personality type
✓ Economic status
✓ Religious inclination
✓ Life style
MANAGING IDENTITY CRISIS
This is the condition of being uncertain of one,s feeling about oneself,especially with
regard to character , goals religion ,purpose and origins.It occurs especially in of
adolescence as a result of growing up under disruptions,fast- changing environment
that seems to give conflicting messages about self. At this stage one may experience
distress and disorientation resulting resulting from conflicting pressures and
uncertainty about oneself and ones rule in society.The emergence of an identity crisis
occurs during the teenage years in which people struggle between feelings identity
versus role confusion.
There are various ways through which one can transition these stages successfully;
❖ Enhancing self awareness
❖ Seeking support from significant others
❖ Seeking relevant information on growth and development from
teachers,mentors and cousellors
❖ Self assessment
❖ Improving self esteem
❖ Identifying and emulating appropriate role models
❖ Peer education
❖ Mentorship,guidance and counseling
LIVING VALUES THAT PROMOTE SELF IDENTITY
❖ Love
❖ Honest
❖ Responsibility
❖ Respect
❖ Peace
 SELF ESTEEM
Self esteem is used to describe how people feel about themselves.
Self esteem is the value or level of worthness trhat one has attatched to self

FACTORS THAT ENHANCE SELF ESTEEM

SELF ACCEPTANCE

Self acceptance is where an individual appreciate himself for whom he is .Self esteem is all about
personal pride.Appreciating self means that one recognizes his strengths and most importantly his faults
and has a high value for himself.

SUCCESS

When we set goals and achieve them , it boost our morals and motivates us to set bigger goals.Success
enhances your worth and opens a new feeling in your life.

SELF AWARENESS

Self awareness includes recognition of our personality ,our strengths and weaknesses,our likes and
dislikes.Knowledge of oneself promotes self acceptance and a need to take personal responsibility in
decision making.

SENSE OF BELONGING

A sense of belonging is the feeling of being connected ,appreciated and accepted with ones family and
community.Having a sense of belonging enhance how we value ourselves

KNOWING AND ACCEPTING ONES LIMITATIONS

Once you accept that there are somethings in life that you cannot control ,it frees you to concentrate
on the things that you can manage .In life we have to accept that we cannot always change the physical
world around us , buh we ca n change our inner wall through changing our attitude.

VALUES ASSOCIATED WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM

✓ Humility
✓ Self respect
✓ Love
✓ Happiness

FACTORS THAT DESTROY SELF ESTEEM

❖ Harmful cultural practices

 ❖ Feeling powerless when forced to engage in some cultural practices i.e forced marriages,
FGM,wife inheritance.

❖ Unheathly family backgrounds

❖ A dysfunctional family is one in which the relationship between the parents and childrens are
strained and unnatural .In such families children have low self esteem
❖ Unhealthy competition
❖ Unhealthy competition focuses on winning, being the best or being better than others .Those
who are not able to compete in search situations may have low self esteem.

Consequences of risk taking behaviours

✓ Most young people know about the danger of drug abuse ,premarital sex,crime etc.But some
still engage .Such risk behaviours may lead to low self esteem to the victim.
✓ Inability to deal with conflict effectively.
✓ Poor skills in managing emotions .
✓ Feeling of rejection .
✓ Physical,psychological or emotional abuse.
✓ Physical or mentally challenged .
✓ Ridicule by peers.
✓ Excessi ve gain or excessive weight loss.
✓ People with high self esteem differ greatly from those with low self esteem differ greatly from
those with low self esteem.

CHARACTERISTICS OF PEOPLE WITH LOW SELF ESTEEM.

❖ Lack of assertiveness.
❖ Under performance.
❖ Succumbing to peer pressure.
❖ Withdrawal tendencies.
❖ Negative self image.
❖ Defensive behavior.
❖ Violent behaviour.

CHARACTERISTICS OF PEOPLE WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM

❖ Cheerfulness.
❖ Assertiveness.
❖ Outgoing.
❖ Confident
❖ Good performance.
 ❖ Positive self image.
❖ Self driven.

VALUES ASSOCIATED WITH SELF ESTEEM.

❖ High confidence.
❖ Humility.
❖ Responsibility.
❖ Cooperation.
❖ Human dignity.
❖ Living with harmony.

HOW TO BUILD /DEVELOP HIGH SELF ESTEEM.

➢ Know who you are-study your character and evaluate yourself inorder to identify your potential,
abilities, strengths and weaknesses.
➢ Improve your strengths and exploit them.
➢ Improve your weaknesses and improve them.
➢ Appreciate yourself.
➢ Be optimistic about life-look at things positively and always expect the best.
➢ Have vision and a dream you want to accomplish .
➢ Groom yourself.
➢ Believe in God and his unique plans for you.

SIGNS OF LOW SELF ESTEEM.

➢ Passiveness-a person with low self esteem tends to keep quite about things that bother
them.They cannot stand for confrontation with others allowing them to violate their rights.
➢ Underperfomance-lacking confidence in themselves and thus they not put effort because
they believe they are incapable.
➢ Succumbing to peer pressure-A person with low self esteem does not value themselves or
their opinions and disires .They like pleasing others at the expense of themselves and
therefore easily swayed.
➢ Aggresiveness-a person with low self esteem may turn to be aggressive to cover up.
➢ Negative self image.
➢ Self neglect.

COPING WITH STRESS

We suffer stress when we face demanding situations that puts pressure on us.Stress is the strain felt
by somebody be it mental , physical or emotional strain.

CAUSES OF STRESS
 ✓ Loss of job
✓ Divorce
✓ Poor performance
✓ Academic pressure
✓ Relationship break ups
✓ Sickness i.e HIV/AIDS
✓ Economic challenges
✓ Rejection by peers
✓ Changes taking place in the body during adolescence
✓ Low self esteem.
✓ Death of loved ones

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF STRESS

Signs and symptoms of stress include the following;

➢ Social maladjustment-a streed person finds it difficult to interact with others and even get
involve in social activities.
➢ Physical illness-headaches ,heart diseases,mental illness,hypertension,ulcers are caused by
stress.
➢ Emotional disturbances-a stressed individual mostly becomes withdrawn ,absent
minded,stares at space and may even cry often.
➢ Poor academic performance-when a student is stressed his/ her academic performance
deteriorates due to lack of concentration ,frequent illness,feelings tored and lack of
motivation .
➢ Physiological changeor distortion that accompanies emotional reactions.Fear for example may
result in a violent physical expression such as shaking of limbs or short -lived loss of voice.

EFFECTS OF STRESS

• Diseases i.e high blood pressure

• Irritability
• Anger
• Abnormal heart beats
• Drug abuse
• Suicidal
• Unhealth relationships with the family
• Immorality

MANAGING STRESS
Despite the effects of stress,there is need to put stress under control considering its effects in our
lives.The following are the steps for stress manangement;

➢ Become aware of your stressors and your emotional and physical reactions-Don’t ignore what
what is stressing you ,accept it.Share your problems with helpful friends ,counselors and
mentors .Determine how your body responds to the stress and avoid being nervous or
physically upset.
➢ Recognize what you can change –determine whether you can change your stressors by
avoiding or eliminating them completely.i.e Non commited relationships,one may decide to
terminate.If it is finances you may decide to live within you’re your means.
➢ Reduce the intensity of your emotional reaction to the stress.
➢ Learn to moderate your physical reactions to stress-Before reacting to something learn to use a
brief moment to think about your response.Avoid heated arguments and shouting back.
➢ Build your physical reserves-engage in extra-curricular activites for physical fitness e.gswimming,
ball games,eat well balanced diet,mix leisure with work and get enough sleep.
➢ Maintain your emotional reserves-belief in God and hhave unwavering faith in him.Develop
some mutually supportance friendship and relationship.Pursue realistic goals which are
meaningful to you.Love yourself no matter what.

HEALTHY WAYS OF COPING WITH STRESS

• Sharing with friends

• Avoid people that stress you
• Taking a rest
• Setting realistic goals
• Seeking guidance and counseling
• Entertainment

STRESS MANAGEMENT

Stress is part of daily life and no one can escape it.Some degree of stress is not only health but actually
necessary.It is when stress destructive effects .We thus need to learn how to manage it i.e understand
its causes ,symptoms, effects, strategies for preventing it from escalating and mechanisms for coping
when we find ourselves deeply in it.

Medical research informs that 75-90% of the symptoms presented for treatment are stress
related.Illness such as hypertensions ulcers,headaches,joint and muscle pains,respiratory infections and
even cancers are stress related.

DEFINITION OF STRESS

It is negative ,non-specific psychological, emotional state or response arising out of undesirable

situations.Its a negative emotional and psychological experience

CAUSES OF STRESS
 ➢ Unmet expectations-when our expectations are not realized,we get anxious and worried
whether we will be able to meet them.
➢ Loss –can be loss of loved ones through death or loss of property .This may lead to stress due
to loneliness and worry about being able to replace the property.
➢ Abuse-it causes feelings of bitterness ,anger helplessness,self pity,and self blame in the abused
person.It can be physical,emotional,verbal or sexual.
➢ Illhealth-One4 may not be able to function normally because of the worry of the illness
i.eterminal illness.
➢ Strained intewrpersonal relationships-One may experience deep loneliness and sadness due to
relationship breakdown.
➢ Low self-esteem or a poor self image and feeling unworthy.
➢ Social incompetence or inability to make friends.
➢ Dysfuctional families.
➢ Poverty and financial hardship.
➢ Rejection by parents and other significant persons.
➢ Loss of job (sacking of retrenchments.

STRESS MANAGEMENT

This refers to the process of limiting the harmful effects of stress through adjustment of the stressor or
partial /complete removal of the stressor.

It involves taking charge of your thoughts, emotions,schedules,environments and the way you deal with
the problems.

The aim is to have a balanced life, with time for work,relationships,relaxation and the resilience to hold
up under pressure and meet challenges.

STRATEGIES FOR COPING WITH STRESS

✓ Talking with a trusted and a supportive person.

✓ Getting and using support system-joining a group of people going through similar experiences.
✓ Clarifying personal values and living according to them.
✓ Be optimistic-adopting positive attitudes and expectations.
✓ Building and maintaining a healthy sense of self worth.

UNHEALTH WAYS OF MANAGING STRESSS

➢ Isolating yourself from friends.

➢ Drug abuse.
➢ Suicides.
➢ EXAMPLES OF POSITIVE STRESS
➢ Purchasing a car.
➢ Finding your true lover.
 ➢ Good time management practices .
➢ Positive attitude towards stressor.
➢ Planning for a wedding.
➢ Having a baby.

LIVING VALUES THAT ENHANCE STRESS MANAGEMENT

➢ Honest-be honest to yourself and others.

➢ Love-love self and others.
➢ Responsibility-as you express your freedom of choices take time to think about the
consequences of your choices
➢ Peace-Become a champion of peace
➢ Humility-be humble
➢ Tolerance-bear every situation in patience and an open mind
➢ Cooperation –always promote teamwork

COPING WITH EMOTIONS

Emotions are strong feelings that people experience when they interact with their environment.All
humans have basic emotional needs.These needs can be expressed as feelings i.ethe need to feel
acceopted and respected.Emotions can lead to good or bad feelings.

GOOD FEELINGS

• Joy • Appreciation
• Happiness • Thankfulness
• Kindness • Hope
• Love • Passion
• Comfort • Inspiration
• Cheerfulness • Confidence
• Greatful • Optimism
• Peaceful
BAD FEELINGS

• Anger • Dissappointment
• Humiliation • Confusion
• Hatred • Jealousy
• Sadness • Desparation
• Depression • Despair
• Anxiety • Shame
• Fear • Grief
• Guilty bitterness
WAYS OF EXPRESSING EMOTIONS
 ➢ When it comes to expressing emotions ,many people have difficult time.Some get angry and
blame themselves,others fail to respond to emotions by denying them.Owning and expressing
feelings heals and frees emotions allowing the body to feel lighter and healthier.We can
express our emotions through;
➢ Facial-our face can show anger ,joy ,excitement,sadness,agreement doubt or fear.
➢ Body-our postures ,use of gestures,positional hands ,general mannerism,all acts as an indicated
of our emotions.
➢ Verbal-the words that we use and how we speak them can show disrespect ,faith in something
or our general well being
➢ Written –the tone of our written communication defines the emotional state of the writter.

CAUSES OF GOOD FEELINGS \ POSITIVE EMOTIONS

✓ Achievements of life goals

✓ Recovering from sickness
✓ Promotions
✓ Settlements of conflicts
✓ Fulfilling relationships
✓ Finding love

CAUSES OF BAD FEELINGS/NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

• Conflict
• Debt
• Poor performance in academics
• Family breakups
• Sickness
• Low self esteem
• Discrimination

EMOTIONAL FEELINGS THAT CAN LEAD TO RISK BEHAVIOURS

• Hatred • Jealousy
• Betrayal to death • Fear
• Despair • Loneliness-leads to criminal behaviours.
• Underperfomance • Bitterness
• Frustrations • Stress-leads to healthy problems
• Sadness • Anger-leads to fight

WAYS OF COPING WITH EMOTIONS

✓ Talk to somebody-seek guidance and counseling.

✓ Take a break i.e go for a holiday.
✓ Have enough sleep and rest.
 ✓ Do physical exercises.
✓ Deelay taking actions to allow time to think rationally.

WAYS OF MANAGING NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.

➢ Identify the emotions-identify the troubling emotions and what is causing it.
➢ Seek counseling-This helps to come with helpful ways of dealing with the emotions.
➢ Express the emotions through writing-this helps air out the emotions and get relieved without
hurting the feelings of others.It also helps in finding a solution to emotional problem because as
you write you may see the emotions from a different perspective.
➢ Confiding in a trusted friend or family member-A problem shared is a problem half way
solved.Talking freely brings personal relief
➢ Delay taking action-when experiencing strong emotions one might not be able to think
rationally and may take harmful actions.Its important that we delay taking actions when we
experience emotions.
➢ Take a break i.e go for an holiday.

CONSEQUENCES OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

➢ Anger-its impossible to behave in a caring and understanding manner when you are hungry
➢ Anxiety-When you are nervous and uneasy you cant think rationally or concentrate on tasks
➢ Fear-fear inhibits our power or distorts the expressions of these powers
➢ Sadness-persistend sadness more often leads to depression
➢ Strained interpersonal relationships-one may witness into isolation and see consolation in drugs
or join criminal crooks to seek appreciation.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

It’s the ability of an individual to fully understand ones emotions ,feelings and attitudes and be able to
take control

Emotioanal intellingence is the ability, capacity or skill used to identify ,access and control emotions of
oneself

It’s the ability to recognize which feelings are appropriate in which situations and the skills to
communicate those feeling effectively.

LIVING VALUES THAT ENHANCE ABILITY TO COPE WITH EMOTIONS

• Tolerance-do not get emotional about other people opinions.

• Cooperation-freedom to consult others for help .
• Humility
• Respect
• Simplicity-able to understand yourself and your emotions and be keen dealing with them.
 EMPATHY.

Is the ability to understand and identify with the situation or feelings of another person.

IMPORTANCE OF EMPHATHY

• Enhances peaceful coexistence in the society

• Facilates healthy relationships
• Promotes good communication

WAYS OF EXPRESSING EMPATHY

This are several ways in which an individual can express emphathy;

• Providing emotional support-presence ,talking ,guidance and conselling

• Providing material support-food ,clothes ,money etc
• Active listening-being physically,emotioanally and mentally present.
• Offering guidance.-Sharing experience on how best to manange the situation
• Being warm and friendly-show genuine concern for others.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN EMPATHY AND SYMPATHY.

EMPATHY SYMPATHY

✓ It’s the ability to mutually experience
their thoughts emotions and direct
experience of others.
✓ Understand what others are feeling
because you have experienced it
yourself or can put yourself in their
shoes.
✓ Feeling of care and understanding for
the suffering of others.
✓ Acknowledging another persons
emotional hardships and providing
comfort and assistance.

LIVING VALUES THAT ENHANCE EMPATHY

➢ Responsibility-feelings are obliged to encourage others when they are down.

➢ Love.-the extend to which you find love in the world is the extend to which you release love to
it .
➢ Humility-is the ability to humble to the rule of others especially when they are in disadvantaged
situations.
➢ Simplicity-this helps others to be simple and to see simpler ways of adressing problems.
➢ Tolerance-helps focus on possible solutions in the long run and avoid being totally blinded by
thecurrent situation.

Respect –when you have respect to self you do not devalue others simply because they have problems.

SITUATIONS THAT REQUIRES EMPATHY

 • Sickness
• Broken relationships
• Loss of loved ones
• Failure in exams
• Lack of basic needs.
• Accidents.

ASSERTIVENESS

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one’s own thoughts , opinions and wishes in
a clear ,direct and non-aggressive way .It is about standing up for your right and not being taken
advantange and yet not infringing on the rights of others.

Assertion is an honest and appropriate expression of one’s feeling , opinions and needs. Being
assertive is different from being aggressive .Being aggressive means standing up for yourself in ways
that violate the rights of others .Aggressive behavior is typically hostile ,blaming and demanding.

CHARACTERISTICS OF AN ASSERTIVE PERSON

✓ Confident-can make and stand for his or her informed decisions.

✓ Is able to stand up for his / her rights without putting others down or destroying their self
worth.
✓ Responsible-own up to their own actions , mistakes and willingly take initiative to amend
behavior.
✓ A good communicator-He/she will always exchange ideas,feelings ,opinions ,needs and actions
both verbally and non-verbally.
✓ Good negotiator-so as to be able to argue out correctly and convincingly.
✓ Have high self esteem-It is vital so that one can put in herself or himself high values , opinions
and pride.
✓ Maintains objectivity and does not react to issues emotionally.
✓ Maintains self respect so as to go ahead with own values and beliefs clearly and firmly .

DEVELOPING ASSERTIVENESS

STEPS OF DEVELOPING ASSERTIVENESS.

• Compliment the other person –give sincere compliment to others .

• Apologize- be the first to apologize for any part of anything you may have done wrong .
• Agree with the person –i.e you are right.
• Empathice –acknowledge other people’s thoughts and feelings .
• Ask a question.

STEPS OF BEING ASSERTIVE

 ✓ To be able to easily identify , analyse and understand situations that require you to respond
assertively .
✓ Knows the level of assertiveness.
✓ Practice assertive responces.
✓ Ensure that the message you want to pass across is well packaged .
✓ Have adequate information about what you want to be assertive about.
✓ To develops appropriate levels of assertiveness involves ;
✓ Developing confidence.
✓ Appreciating self.
✓ Standing for ones right.
✓ Being form.
✓ Developing a value system.

SITUATIONS THAT CALL FOR ASSERTIVENESS.

• Sexual harassment.
• Abuse of human rights .
• Gender bias.
• Physical and emotional abuse.
• Bullying .
• Harmful cultural practices.
• Intergrity.
• Loyalty.
• Peer pressure.

LIVING VALUES THAT PROMOTE ASSERTIVENESS

• Honest with oneself and others.

• Tolerance –keeping in mind that ups and downs are part and parcel of everyday life.
• Respect
• Responsibility
• Confidence
• Unity
• Love

ASSERTIVENESS

Is the ability to clearly and firmly express your stand ,opinions or feelings without disrespecting other
people or violating their rights.

It is the ability to act in ones best interest ,to stand up for legitimate rights and express one’s
views directly and openly without hurting others.

Assertiveness involves;
 ✓ Telling someone exactly what you want in a way that is not rude or threatening.
✓ Stand up for your own rights without violating the rights of others .
✓ Expressing yourself firmly.
✓ Expressing both positive and negative feelings .
✓ Acting or behaving in a confident manner.
✓ Not being apologetic about your demands or over the wrong for others .

AGGRESSIVENESS

It involves;

✓ Demanding your rights while violating those of others.

✓ Expressing one’s needs ,opinions , and feelings at the expense of others right.
✓ Expressing oneself in a threatening or intimidating manner.
✓ Putting yourself first at the expense of others.
✓ Achieving desired goals by hurting band disregarding others.
✓ Expressing oneself using abusive and offensive language .
✓ Refusing to apologize even when you are wrong.

HOW TO DEVELOP ASSERTIVENESS

➢ Develop self confidence –this helps to freely and formly express your feelings and opinions
and stand by them .This can be developed by;
➢ Knowing and accepting your strengths and weaknesses.
➢ Engaging in things that makes you good about yourself .
➢ Appreciate self-knowing and accepting yourself as a unique person ,worth and valuable .It
involves respecting yourself and standing against anything that attempts to demean you.
➢ Stand up your rights-know your rights and defend them incase anyone violates them.Demand
your rights.
➢ Be firm-Do not be easily swayed or influenced to change your mind about something .
➢ Develop a value system –these guide how you behave and act.They help to determine what is
expected of you is right or wrong.

IMPORTANCE OF ASSERTIVENESS

➢ Helps maintain personal identity-with assertiveness one is able to resist influence and
pressure aimed at making one change their behavior .
➢ Enhances personal confidence –Expressing ourselves potrays our confidence in life to articulate
issues that affects us.
➢ Safeguarding one’s rights –Being assertive makes you not to allow other people to violate your
rights.
➢ Helps in dealing with harmful social cultural practices eg F.G.M, wife inheritance.
➢ Helps to promote integrity and honest .
➢ Help to avoid time wasting –one is able to manage time effectively.
 ➢ Enhance health relationships.
➢ Enable one to achieve one’s goals.

SITUATIONS THAT CALL FOR ASSERTIVENESS.

✓ Sexual harassment .
✓ Abuse of human rights.
✓ Gender bias.
✓ Physical and emotional abuse .
✓ Bullying.
✓ Harmful cultural practices .
✓ Integrity.
✓ Loyalty.
✓ Peer pressure.

PROMBLEM SSOLVING

This is where you identify the best alternatives to overcome challenging problems or situations that
are encounters in life.

NEGOTIATION

Is a method used by people to settle differences so to reach an agreement based on some

understanding and also help one to set their positions openly to convince one another or process by
which compromise or agreement is reached while avoiding argument and disputes .

NEGOTIATION TECHNIQUES

➢ Effective communication – by presenting your explanation in a clear and straight forward and
also by using appropriate language for example symbols and tone of voice.
➢ Pay attention to timing –timing is important in negotiation .It is a sure thing that one must
know what to ask and to be sensitive on when to ask .
➢ Offer and expect commitment- have unshakable commitment to deliver .
➢ Prepare-do not enter negotiation without proper preparation .Make sure you are clear on what
you really want out of arrangement.
➢ Listeninig skills –never interrupt .Encourage the other side to talk first.
➢ Assertive-Be clear and firm as you make your demands.Do not easily give in to pressure to
change mind. Be respectful and polite as you express yourself.
➢ Knowledgeable on the subject matter –you must understand the various aspects of the
situation or subject being discussed .Base your arguments on the facts.

IMPORTANCE OF NEGOTIATION

Negotiation is an important tool that all of us use at different times at different phases of our life ,to
achieve different goals .The following are importance of lifeskills;
 • Enhance interpersonal relationships by creating understanding.
• Faster co-existence since conflicts and misunderstanding can be navigated through
negotiation .
• Enhances conflict resolution .
• May lead friendship formation and maintenance –where people are given opportunity to
contribute opinions and ideas through negotiation ,respect and trust is enhanced .
• Enhances empathy.

FACTORS THAT ENHANCE NEGOTIATIONS

Negotiation is at times hard and frustrating where one is being pressurized to do or take something
against his or her will.The factors that enhance negotiation include;

• Empathy-when we consciously focus on understanding the situation in other person with a

view to helping them cope better ,then we are able to negotiate in a more productive
position .
• Self awareness-High self awareness helps us understand the needs of others .It helps realize
that at times we need to go low and at times we need to be firm and forthright in our stand
during negotiation.
• Calmness-This helps in rational thinking thus avoiding emotional tenderness that may escalate
misunderstanding rather than consensus.
• Assertiveness-This helps focus on the facts ,reality and truth without fearing to annoy the
other party or exaggerating positions.
• Readiness of compromise- This creates flexibility and avoid an egoistic approach during
negotiation .
• Level of knowledge on subject matter- When the parties are fairly aware of the subject of
negotiation, the results are more productive as no one can be exploited by the other through
ignorance .
• Effective communication –the ability to listen and ask appropriate questions makes
negotiation more focused.
• Readiness for win win situation-This creates trust and long term relationships where both
parties feel respected and contribute more honesty and openly leading to faster resolutions.

FACTORS THAT HINDER NEGOTIATION

➢ Language barrier –for negotiation to be productive the parties must understand each others
language in all the aspects of verbal or non verbal communication .
➢ Limited knowledge of subject matter-For effective negotiation to take place , the people
involved need to be equipped with the right quality and quantity sufficient knowledge
regarding the matter at hand.
➢ Anger-It is difficult to reach a consensus with the negative emotion of anger .This is because
anger can intimidate ,bring fear and interfere with the thinking ability of the person.
 ➢ Prejudice –sometimes we feel that a particular person does not know something or cannot
do something competently.In such cases we may lack trust ,respect and end up looking down
on them .
➢ Stereotypes –social,cultural and religious-Stereotyping means giving subjective qualities to
someone, identifying and sticking them on him.These are mainly beliefs based on opinions
from others or perceptions .What you belief about a person , a group of people ,religions may
not be necessary be true but you shall always behave towards them as if it was true.

LIVING VALUES THAT PROMOTE NEGOTIATION.

s that ensure that no party is injured either physically,emotionally or mentally in the process of
resolving the conflict.The approach has the objective of seeking peace and harmony for all the parties
involved without blaming or disrespecting either party.

➢ WHEN RESOLVING CONFLICTS WE SHOULD AIM; Peace-when we focus on seeking peace for all
parties in negotiation our approach is that of fairness,justice and love aimed at enhancing
long term relationships .
➢ Simplicity-simplicity is vital in communication as it helps us avoid arrogant ,intimidating and
dehumanizing approach.
➢ Tolerance-when you realize that all people are different and can never be like you or behave
the way you would like them to ,then you tolerate their lack of knowledge ,slow pace and
others not so good attributes.
➢ Unity-our long term success is a factor of how we are able to cooperate and work with
others for common good .
➢ Responsibility-success is personal.The consequences of the choices we make determine the
direction that our life takes We therefore must take rensponsibility for our choices and life.
➢ Freedom-The enjoyment of freedom must be guided by knowledge When freedom is
exercised ignorantly it leads to wrong choices that ruins ones life.
➢ Respect-people are entitled to their own opinions no matter how different they may be from
ours and we must treat such opinions with respect.
➢ Honest-effective negotiation demand honesty in order to create rapport and trust .Its
always good to tell the truth as it is no matter how painful it may sometimes feel.
➢ Cooperation –it is essential for all parties involved in negotiation to cooperate in the entire
process if it to be successful.

NON –VIOLENT CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Conflict-is a state of opposition,disagreement or incompatibility between two or more people or groups

of people which is sometimes characterized by physical violence.

Non-violent conflict resolution-means the employment of efforts and tactic

• To uncover the underlying or hidden goals and beliefs look beneath the conflict.
 • Determine the facts ,fact finding is essential to resolving conflict,often the conflicts are
generated by a misfits .
• Be sensitive to others position and perspective.

SITUATION THAT MAY LEAD TO CONFLICT

• Physical and emotional abuse.

• Effects of drugs and substance abuse.
• Violation of human rights.
• Discrimination based on gender ,race ,education and tribe .
• Unequal distribution of resources .
• Different political inclination .
• Negative ethnicity.
• Breakdown in communication.
• Social cultural biases.

EFFECTS OF UNRESOLVED CONFLICTS

Conflicts should be resolved both promptly and objectively .If conflict is not solved as soon as it is
identified it will certainly grow and affect more people .This may lead to;

➢ Strained relationships-involved parties become uncomfortable before each other and it can
lead to enmity.
➢ Physical confrontation –fight may result incase of failure to resolve conflicts .
➢ Distruption of social order –There is breaking of societal rules and there is no peace .
➢ Physical injures and psycological trauma –fighting violence , rape and other form of abuse .
➢ Displacement of people –for instance incase of land disputes.
➢ Destruction of property-involved parties tend to destroy others property out of anger.
➢ Loss of life-death of loved ones.
➢ Social and political instability-lawlessness and lack of jobs.
➢ Reduced involvement in economic activities –it may become difficult for people to do their
normal actions such as farming,herding,business or office work.

WAYS OF REDUCING CONFLICTS

Peace is important for us to live together on earth.There can never be progress or success to the
individuals,community,country or world without peace.Non-violent conflicts resolution is working
towards peace and progress for self and others .

Some of the strategies that can help minimize conflicts are;

➢ Respecting and upholding human rights.

➢ Equitable distribution of resources .
➢ Upholding and respecting democracy.
 ➢ Appreciating social cultural diversity.
➢ Promote empathy in the community.
➢ Promote of social dialogue .
➢ Promote of national unity and patriotism through education .
➢ Promotion of living values.
➢ Promotion of peace education and citizenship.

METHODS OF NON VIOLENT CONFLICT RESOLUTIONS

Though conflicts is inevitable in our lives ,violence is avoidable.Effective communication ,skills such as
attentive listening ,assertiveness, objectivity and clarity of opinion are essential to the success of non-
violent conflict resolution using the following methods ;

• Adjudication-to decide about to make an official decision about a problem or dispute.

• Arbitration-the process of resolving disputes between people or groups by referring them to
the third party .
• Negotiation-Is the process of reaching an agreement through discussion and compromise.
• Mediation -means to work with both sides in a dispute in an attempt to help them to reach an
agreement.
• Resolution- is a process of addressing a problem or a conflict.
• Reconciliation-involves the ending of conflicts or renewing of a friendly relationship between
disputing peoples or groups.
• Transformation-Is a complete change ,usually into something with an improved appearance or
usefulness.

LIVING VALUES THAT PROMOTE NON-VIOLENT CONFLICT RESOLUTION

➢ Unity.
➢ Integrity.
➢ Cooperation.
➢ Tolerance.
➢ Responsibility.
➢ Peace.

EFFECTIVE DECISION MAKING

Decision-is the choice you make using your mind regarding something or a position or opinion or
judgement reached after considering of the end results and the consequences of each choice.

Decision making- is the process of selecting a course of action from several choices,ideas, or products
and taking appropriate action to achieve the desired results .We use decision making skills to solve
problems by selecting one course of action from several possible alternatives.For sound decisions to be
made there are critical steps to be followed.

PROCESS OF DECISION MAKING

Steps in decision making process;

➢ Identify and define the problem-what exactly is the problem to be solved?Why should it be
solved?What results am looking for?Who should I involve?
➢ Reflect about the problem-what is the magnitude ,urgency or importance ?
➢ Consult-there are many people who have faced the problem you are facing niow.Ask them how
they overcome it.However be careful to consult reliable ,honest and morally credible people.
➢ Reflect on the advice-Evaluate the advice offered and assess its applicability to your
situation.Remember the same problem may require a totally different approach depending on
the situation.
➢ Weigh options-think about the most appropriate option based on the desired results .Avoid
emotions pressure from other people.
➢ Consider possible consequences on oneself-carefully think about both the short and long
term effects on your choices .There may be repercussions that are not too obvious at the
moment and which may result in serious loss or harm.
➢ Consider the effects of the action on the other person –your decision may have serious effects
on others such as parents ,siblings ,classmate or society.
➢ Take the best option-Having gathered as much information as possible regarding the available
options, you can now make an informed decision.
➢ Make the decision-Finally select the specific course of the action so as to move forward and
avoid dwelling too much on the issue.
➢ Implement the decision-Transform your decision into specific plan of action steps .Execute
your plans to achieve the desired goals .

FACTORS THAT INFLUENCE DECISION MAKING

Our decisions leads to choices and the choices leads to our destiny.Life is simply a matter of choices
which themselves results from our decisions.Decision making is not easy thing ,it is not automatic and
is affected by a number of factors such as ;

I. Information of the subject matter-the level of awareness regarding the subject or the issue
will determine the quality of decisions made.Consious efforts must be made to gather as much
information as possible to make an informed decision.
II. Personality type-This determines whether we decide things based on logic and objective
considerations or based on our personal subjective value systems(emotions).
III. Social cultural factors –our decisions may be affected by societal expectations,religious or
traditional cultures.
IV. Personal and significant other expectations-how will my decisions affect my
parents,siblings,close friends and even school mates.
V. Peer pressure-our closest friends influence the decisions of that we make .All people who are
in smoking ,alcohol,crimes or other vices were induced by their closest friends.
 VI. Degree of challenges- When we fail to realize that all challenges are temporary and are aimed
at helping us discover our greater strength,we may succumb to them and make erroneous
decisions.
VII. Personal goals and ambitions-when our lives are directed by positive goals and ambitions,this
helps us to make decisions that that are in harmony.

GOAL SETTING

Goals are well defined targets that gives you direction and motivation-they are your road map to
success.

STEPS TO EFFECTIVE GOAL SETTING

• Decide what you want-it can be in terms of school grades,new skills, relationships or any area of
personal growth that will help you achieve success.
• Establish why you want to achieve that goal-Let you goal be inspired by something bigger
than money,prestige,position or fame.Let it be driven by passion, what your heart really
desires.
• Set smarter goals
➢ S-specific.
➢ M-measurable.
➢ A-achievable.
➢ R- realistic.
➢ T-time bound.
➢ E-enjoyable.
➢ R-relevant.
• Be commited to your goals – remember this is your personal success and you must persistently
focus to achieve it.
• Keep reviewing progress to ensure you are on track.
• Seek the help of a mentor or counselor whenever you have challenges.
• Never give up on your goals as long as they are SMARTER.

IMPORTANCE OF GOAL SETTING

• It gives you something to aim for-it gives you something meaningful and personal to aim for
• It helps you to focus your time and energy on achieving your goals –instead of your efforts
being spend on meaningless activities and tasks, your action plan will give you a clear plan by
setting your priorities.
• It gives you motivation-because the goals are meaningful and personal to you .You look forward
towards achieving them.This gives you motivation and energy to keep going towards your end
goal.

GOAL SETTING IS DIVIDED INTO THREE;

 ➢ Short term goals.
➢ Medium term goals.
➢ Long term goals.

CONSEQUENCES OF MAKING WRONG CHOICES

The consequences of making wrong decisions can be classified in the following aspects;

I. Health-majority of sicknesses today have resulted from wrong decisions e.g. eating wrong
food, lack of execise,immorality,stress e.t.c.
II. Social-social misfits may arise from wrong choice of friends leading to poor academic grades
and hence crime and other undesirable habits.
III. Economical –poor grades may lead to poor paying jobs.
IV. Educational-Academic performance will be determined by the choice of friends, wrong
choice of friends leads to poor academic grades.
V. Moral-Morality is foundation of long term success.
VI. Political-tribal conflicts, insecurity and country instability are fueled by political decisions made
by the leaders.
VII. Psychological- the greatest killer in the world is stress.Most killer diseases like cancer, heart
disease, strokes, headaches, ulcers are stress related .Stress manifest itself physically and may
lead to insanity and death.

IMPORTANCE OF LIVING VALUES IN DECISION MAKING .

I. Responsibility-before making decisions ,consider the consequences and be rensponsible for

outcomes.
II. Honest-when you honestly evaluate your short terms and long terms goals you end up making
right decisions.
III. Humility-A realistic approach based on considering for others and own pursuits of success will
help make more productive decisions.
IV. Respect-When you respect self and others you will make decisions that will not hurt self or
others.
V. Simplicity-helps one to avoid complex decisions that will lead to stress.
VI. Freedom-you can make informed decisions that are free from the negative influence of others.