Cole Keep Control

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CHAPTER 28 LEADING AND AT TENDING MEETINGS 945

Keep control
A clear agenda, experience and self-confidence are your best tools for making sure your meetings stay
on track. Observe other good meeting leaders to see what tips you can pick up from them. You may
notice that they use more direct control than usual when strong and potentially disruptive feelings
are present, when the group is moving towards a decision or when time is tight.
Short of formal parliamentary procedures (described at the end of this chapter), two of the
more common, less intrusive techniques for keeping control are making a short summary after each
contribution and using an electronic whiteboard, flip chart or groupware to record these summaries
(this is handy for writing up the minutes afterwards, too.) Non-verbally, a glance at the clock can help
keep the meeting focused and moving forward.
Don’t use control techniques to smother differences of opinion and strong feelings – this would
probably strengthen them and increase tension or lead to groupthink.

Disruptive behaviours
What do you do when someone argues over every point, holds whispered side conversations,
dominates the discussion, moves away from the topic under discussion, sits in silence or talks over
everyone else? Behaviours like these present problems for meeting leaders.
The following sections examine some common disruptive behaviours with suggestions for dealing
with them during the meeting. After the meeting and in private, calmly, assertively and politely speak
with the participant concerned, using an ‘I’ message (explained on page 469). Name the behaviour
you want to stop and say what you would like instead. For example, you might say to someone who
held side conversations, ‘A lex, when you talk while someone else is addressing the meeting, I get quite
distracted. I need to have just one person speaking at a time. Can you help me out with that?’

Arriving unprepared
When a meeting participant repeatedly turns up to meetings unprepared and without the information
that the rest of the meeting participants need to get on with the agenda, address the behaviour sooner
rather than later. Remind the participant to prepare before the meeting and make it clear that you
don’t intend to make a habit of always reminding them. Discuss what steps they will take to ensure
they arrive prepared in future.

Constantly criticising
Some people seem to criticise every idea, every point of view, every helpful suggestion, pointing out
the downsides but seldom offering alternatives or positive suggestions in return. This behaviour saps
a meeting’s creativity, energy and goodwill. Don’t allow it.
You could gently point out that unconstructive criticism doesn’t move the meeting forward, ask
what they do like about a suggestion, or ask for their thoughts on how to improve it. This might
refocus them on the positive.
You could try treating comments and criticisms as though they were normal and routine by
rephrasing and restating them so they appear to be conforming to the approach you want, and then
asking for a response from other members. For example: ‘Terry isn’t convinced this approach is
feasible. What could we do to make it work?’
You may decide not to invite them to your next meeting, but bear in mind that with a bit of
‘retraining’ they may have a useful role as devil’s advocate.

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946 MANAGEMENT THEORY AND PRACTICE: PART 5 WORKPL ACE PRACTICE

Day-dreaming and hesitating


Some people let their minds wander and others may be shy or become self-conscious when speaking
before a group and even when they have a good point to make, they just can’t seem to find the words;
others prefer to wait to be invited to contribute. Be patient and supportive to help their thoughts and
ideas to see the light of day.
Encourage them to speak when you think they have a contribution to make, but don’t embarrass
them by asking a difficult, direct question. Instead, invite them to respond to questions you know
they can answer or let them know in advance that you’ll be directing a specific question to them.
For example, ‘Sonya, I’d like to ask you for your thoughts on this in a minute, after we’ve heard from
Stan.’ (When Stan is a bit of a digresser or a dominator, this serves the dual purpose of warning him
to limit his comments.)
Summarise when the day-dreamer or hesitator is finished and thank them for their contribution.
Your want to encourage them to speak so that the rest of the group can hear their worthwhile
contributions.

Digressing
Questions and comments that lead the group astray are sometimes referred to as ‘red herrings’. They
retard progress, sidetrack meetings, and test the skill and tact of even the best meeting leader. There
are several useful techniques to keep the meeting on track.
Try to link the off-point comments to the topic at hand. If that doesn’t work, try summarising
what has been said so far to return to the topic under discussion. Failing that, you can say, ‘That’s an
interesting observation. How does it fit into our topic?’ to highlight the digression and encourage
the digresser to return to the topic. You may have to be even more direct: ‘This discussion is
interesting, but I suggest we postpone it until next month’s meeting when I can put that topic on
the agenda.’ As a last resort, you may simply have to rule the discussion out of order and move on
with the agenda.

Dominating
Some people just talk too much. Others keep pushing their point of view until everyone folds and sees
it their way. Monopolising discussions wastes the meeting’s time and destroys its sense of purpose.
When you know in advance that someone is likely to dominate a discussion, try seating them to
your extreme left (or right if you are left-handed); this makes it easier to avoid seeing their attempts
to get the floor. When they do get the floor, let them have a reasonable amount of time, then interrupt
by saying something like, ‘You’ve got some good points there. Now let’s hear what others think and
then you’re welcome to respond.’

Interrupting
Some people interrupt so much that other participants just give up and yield the floor. Help them
out by signalling to the chronic interrupter that talking over people is not acceptable. You could say
something like, ‘Hang on, Ian, let’s hear the idea Kim is explaining’, or ‘Kim, you were starting to
suggest something. Could you finish please?’ Put your hand up to the interrupter as a ‘stop’ signal
when necessary.

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CHAPTER 28 LEADING AND AT TENDING MEETINGS 947

Failing to follow-through or speak frankly


When you suspect someone may not complete an assignment, after the meeting or informally over
coffee during a break (to avoid taking up the meeting’s time) ask them what might prevent them from
completing the accepted assignment on time; then ask how they can prevent that and confirm that
they can take the action they’ve agreed to.
You may occasionally sense that someone isn’t expressing their true opinion or is holding back
from providing information. Bring any concerns to the surface by directly asking for their opinion or
what information they can add to the discussion.

Reiterating
Someone may continually repeat the same point, even when the subject has moved on. Gently
remind them that their views have been heard. When you’re making summaries on a whiteboard or
groupware, point to the chart as visual evidence that their point has been noted.
A good general technique, especially when a meeting member is inclined to dominate a discussion,
veer off point or repeat a point unnecessarily, is to nominate three or four people at a time, selecting
the speakers who need to be restrained to speak first: ‘John, let’s hear from you first, then Jane, then
Jacob, and after that Jenny.’ This puts pressure on the earlier speakers to be succinct, since the people
after them are waiting their turn. Should someone hog the floor anyway, remind them that there are
others the meeting needs to hear from.

Side conversations
Side conversations are distracting. You can ignore them for a while but not to the point where people
whispering together irritate those near them. Here are three ways to deal with the problem:
1. Break in and say, ‘Excuse me. I want to have one discussion at a time. (Whisperers), are you
ready to join us now?’
2. Look at the speaker (not the chatterboxes) and say, ‘Excuse me, (Speaker), let’s wait until we
have everyone’s attention’. When everyone is silent, invite the speaker to continue.
3. Look at the whisperers and ask them whether they have any comments they would like to
share with the rest of the meeting.
When you don’t allow side conversations, you soon won’t have to worry about them at all.

IN A NUTSHELL
Four important meeting roles
Different meetings sometimes require different role-playing by the leader. Here are four roles
that leaders may choose in order to produce the smoothest meeting:
1. Gatekeeper: ensuring everyone has the opportunity to speak
2. Coordinator: summarises progress and leads to the next step
3. Compromiser: helps people who disagree to build on their viewpoints and reach agreement
4. Clown: relieves tension and provides a quick mental break through humour.

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