SELF MANAGEMENT

ASSIGNMENT 2 (WORKBOOK 1, 2, 3 and 4)

SUBMITTED BY: Izza Sheikh

SUBMITTED TO: Sir Nabil Ehsan
ENROLLMENT: 01-111212-100
CLASS: BBA 4-C
DATE OF SUBMISSION: 4/5/23
Table of Contents
PARADIGMS............................................................................................................................................2
EXAMINING YOUR PARADIGMS.........................................................................................................3
SHIFTING YOUR PARADIGM...............................................................................................................4
PRINCIPLES.............................................................................................................................................6
HABITS....................................................................................................................................................12
REACTIVE WAYS..................................................................................................................................15
PROACTIVE POSSIBILITIES..............................................................................................................16
MY UNHAPPINESS/STRESS..............................................................................................................16
MY RESPONSE......................................................................................................................................17
OTHER CHOICES..................................................................................................................................17
MASTER THE MOMENT......................................................................................................................18
MY CIRCLES..........................................................................................................................................20
CHECKING YOUR VISION...................................................................................................................23
PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT..................................................................................................25

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WORKBOOK 1
PARADIGMS
Q1) Have you ever had an experience where you made an assumption, only to
find that you had jumped to a conclusion too quickly? Describe the experience
below. (5 lines)

Yes I have experienced this before. I once fought with my friend for not talking to me for
a week which was very unusual for us as we talk daily. I didn’t ask her the reason why
she didn’t talk to me and was inactive on all social media sites and just started fighting
and complaining how she doesn’t care about me and how I’m the only one who puts
effort into this friendship. She told me that the reason she was inactive and not replying
to my texts was that her mother was not feeling well so she being the only daughter was
taking care of her and helping her father and brothers with the house chores. I felt bad
for jumping to conclusions too soon instead of confronting her and apologized for being
insensitive as I should have been there for her.

Q2) What was the assumption you made?

I assumed that she was ignoring my texts on purpose as I didn’t believe the idea of
someone not using their phone for days as it’s not possible these days. I assumed she
didn’t care enough about me which is why she couldn’t even take a minute out of her life
and just reply me or even if she was busy, she could’ve at least told me she’s busy and
can’t talk and I’d have understood.

Q3) Think about some other assumptions you may have made. What will you do
this week to work on one of them?

Another assumption that I made was that people are talking behind my back. To some
extent I think this is not true as nobody would notice those little flaws that I point out in
myself daily e.g. I was thinking about how everyone would be talking about how I’m
gaining weight and how my body posture isn’t the most perfect. When I asked some
friends about whether they have noticed that I’m gaining weight they all said no which

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means that I was only assuming that people are judging me maybe because I’m being
too critical about myself. Hence, this week onwards I’ll try to be more confident about
myself and embrace any flaws or imperfections instead of pointing them out and feeling
insecure about them as our imperfections are what makes us beautiful and distinctive
from each other.

EXAMINING YOUR PARADIGMS

Q4) Have you ever been to a different country or even to a different region in your
country? What was strange to you?

I recently went to Saudia Arabia to perform Umrah and the strangest thing to me was
how the people maintained the perfect balance between worldly and religious acts.
Whenever the Arabs hear the Azan, no matter if they someone has a thousands of
customers in his shop or if someone is stuck in traffic they would start praying right
there. For instance we were in a taxi going to Masjid e Ayesha and everyone stepped
out of their cars and started praying on the road which was very unusual for me as in
Pakistan people would have started shouting our considered us as being blasphemous
for praying on the footpath. They would have thought that we are crazy. Maybe this is
why the Arabs are more religious than us as they don’t care about what others think, for
them only pleasing the God matters.

Q5) Did people act the way you expected them to? What did you think about their
actions?

No, people didn’t act the way I expected them to. I always thought Arabs would be
better and more religious than us but it’s not true for all of them. As even at that holy
place, the people even the Arabs are looting others and exploiting the people who are
there for religious pilgrimage by quoting prices of goods/services higher than usual.
Some didn’t even care about the sanctity of the place we were at as some ladies were
pushing and beating each other right outside Roza-e-Rasool and pulling the partitioned
portion so they could have a better look as the area was restricted for females. I felt
ashamed and sorry because of the actions of these people as they were disrespecting
our religious teachings by doing such shameful acts.

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Q6) Looking back on your travel experiences now, what do you think people
thought about you? Do you believe their thoughts about you were probably
similar to your thoughts about them?

Looking back at my Umrah experience, Maybe some people might have been hurt by
my actions as well even though I didn’t intentionally tried to harm someone just so I
could pray some extra nawafils or could enter someplace quicker than them. Some
Indonesian ladies were pushing me just so they could get a place closer to Roza-e-
Rasool’s in order to offer to pray. I was very frustrated with how they were behaving and
felt hurt as they had the privilege to be there at such a holy place that millions of people
wish to be at yet they were still being disrespectful and hurting others instead of being
grateful about the opportunity they got. I stood at my place firmly and waited for my
cousin to come so I could let her take my place and she could offer some nawafil.
Maybe those Indonesian ladies might have had the same thoughts as I had. But later
on, I gave them space as well so they could pray, maybe that might have changed their
thoughts about me as they smiled at me and thanked me as well.

Q7) If you had the opportunity to get to know people in your travels, how did that
change your assumptions about them?

I had always heard that the people from Sudan are very rude and often misbehave so
it’s better to maintain a distance from them. But during my Umrah, I met and talked to a
lot of women from Sudan, some of them even shared their snacks with me in Masjid-e-
Nabwi and made space for me so I could offer my prayer. That definitely changed my
assumptions about people from Sudan as not all of them are rude. The ones I met in
masjid-e-Nabwi were very kind and helped me a lot.

SHIFTING YOUR PARADIGM

Q8) Think about the different routes you can take to your home or work. Are some
ways more complex than others? Is one way sometimes more convenient than
another? Why or why not?

Without a doubt certain routes may be more complicated than others depending on the
number of unexpected turns and road networks required to reach the location. Due to

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traffic, reconstruction of roads, or other considerations, some routes may be more
convenient than others. For example, if one route is frequently used or has a lot of
construction work going on, an alternate route may be a greater convenience. Similarly,
if one route leads right toward the intended destination while the other requires
numerous changes of direction, the straightest one is probably more convenient. I travel
every day from Rawalpindi to Islamabad and go via Faizabad which I find is the simplest
route to to go my university. However sometimes due to traffic congestion or other
factors e.g. protests, road construction I have to opt for other routes such as IJP road.
However whenever I choose to go via IJP road I try to leave a little earlier as road
construction is being done there and movement of traffic is often slow which increases
the time to reach my destination. Sometimes I even get late for my morning class due to
traffic jam.

(5 lines)

Q9) Now think about the way you interact with people. Are there several ways to
approach them? What new ways might you try?

Yes there are several ways to approach people depending on the situation of the
person we are interacting with. Sometimes we may directly approach someone which
involves being straightforward with someone about what we want. We may use this
when we want to be assertive. Sometimes we may approach someone in a supportive
way by providing them with emotional support and empathy when they’re going through
a difficult time e.g. consoling someone. In order to try new ways of approaching people
we can consider the following ways:

 Active listening means paying close attention to what someone is saying and
trying to grasp their point of view. This may help in the development of rapport
and the improvement of communication.
 Open-mindedness: Being open to new ideas and viewpoints might help us
connect with people who come from various cultures or have different opinions
than us.

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  Non-judgmental attitude: Avoiding making assumptions or judgments about
others based on their appearance, background, or views can contribute to a
more positive and courteous engagement.
 Empathy: Putting ourselves in the shoes of another might help us grasp their
perspective and create connection.
 Humor: using humor appropriately can help break the ice and create a more
relaxed and enjoyable interaction.

New approaches to interacting with people can help develop stronger relationships,
improve communication and create more positive and fulfilling experiences.

Q10) Have you ever found a new way home that you didn’t know existed? What
were the unexpected feelings of travelling different routes?

Changing your route might provide a change of scenery, allowing you to explore new
regions or notice items you may have overlooked previously. It can also provide a sense
of adventure or thrill as you travel new routes or paths. Finding a new way home can
also give you a sense of empowerment or freedom as you grow more comfortable with
the surroundings and more confident in your abilities to manage them. Some people, on
the other hand, may feel apprehensive or uneasy when taking a different way home,
especially if they are accustomed to a specific routine or route. However, once they
become more acquainted with the new route, these sensations normally fade. Overall,
finding a new path home may be a rewarding experience if approached with an open
mind and a willingness to explore new territory.

PRINCIPLES
Q11) Reflect on Aesop's fable "The Goose and the Golden Egg." Take a few
moments and write your own fable about yourself. In terms of your production
and production capability, where do you need to develop greater balance?

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Aesop’s fable of “the goose and the golden egg” teaches us a valuable lesson about not
being greedy and valuing long term gain over short term gratification. In the story, a
farmer discovers that his goose lays a golden egg every day. Fuelled by his desire for
more wealth, the farmer cuts open the goose, thinking that he can get all the eggs at
once. However, he only finds that there are no more eggs inside the goose, and he has
killed his source of income.

Similarly in my own fable, I’m a content creator on Instagram and work hard to produce
as much content as I can and post consistently in order to maintain a good engagement
on Instagram, attract more traffic towards my account, gain followers and a good reach.
This way more brands will approach me for paid collaborations and sponsorships when
I’ll have a good reach on Instagram. I was posting consistently for a week which
included 2-3 posts per day and 2-3 posts went viral as I gained over 100k views on my
video which attracted a lot of brands towards my page and within a week, I got
sponsored video offer from several brands. They were willing to pay me and send me
their products to try for free in return for content made exclusively for their brand. This
motivated me to make even more content and I started filming more than 3 videos every
day. I used to spend the whole day filming content, editing my videos that I started
missing out on everything, I didn’t even have the time to eat dinner with my family. Even
though I was being highly respected and admired by my fellow content creators, brands
that I was working with and my followers for my productivity and content, I realized that I
was becoming increasingly stressed and exhausted from the constant pressure to
produce more and more content, earn more money through sponsored posts and get
the maximum engagement. I was struggling to think of creative ideas for my content or
do something different. I realized how important it is for me to maintain a balance in my
professional and leisure activities and not just become a workaholic. I needed to take
care of myself both physically and mentally if I wanted to be the best out there. Hence, I
started to prioritize taking care of myself. I started doing the things that I love to do for
fun or that make me happy e.g. spending time with my loved ones, watching new tv
shows on Netflix, book reading etc. I also made an effort to delegate task and prioritize
workload to avoid burnout. Therefore I was able to work more efficiently, come up with
more creative ideas for my account and produce more high quality content consistently

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without sacrificing my well-being. Content creation no longer felt like a huge burden on
me, I realized why I loved creating content for my audience in the first place. So I
learned that balance and self-care are just as important as productivity and take caring
of one’s self ultimately leads to greater success and fulfillment in life.

Q12) List five principles that affect your life on a daily basis. In what ways are you
affected? Do they impact you in positive or negative ways?

1) Communication: this is a principal that holds great significance in my life. Every

day I interact with people through verbal and non-verbal communication, and the
way one communicates with others can have a great impact on our relationships,
work and overall wellbeing. As I feel that communication is a key to solving all
your problems and it’s important to communicate how you feel or what you think
with those around you in order to strengthen your bonds. Effective
communication can lead to positive outcomes whereas poor communication e.g.
ignoring each other, not being transparent enough, lack of clarity in messages
can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts.
2) Growth: this is another principle that affects me every day and is really important
for me. As humans we are constantly learning, evolving and developing in
various aspects of our lives. I strive to grow as well when it comes to my
academics, work, personal relationships and even religion. I have this desire in
me to learn and evolve and become a better version of myself with every day that
goes by as embracing growth and seeking out new opportunities pushes me out
of my comfort zone. A growth mentality leads to increased motivation, better
performance, and resilience in the face of adversity. It also encourages me to
accept difficulties, persevere in the face of disappointments, and become more
resourceful in problem-solving. It’s better to embrace change and adapt to it
instead of becoming stagnant and resisting it.
3) Respect: “give respect take respect” is something that I value in my life and
respect starts with us first. Respecting ourselves means that we are ready to
acknowledge our accomplishments and appreciate our strengths and we want
the people to know that we matter. This makes me more confident and less

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 afraid of failure or rejection. Showing respect is an essential part of building
strong relationships as I don’t like being around anyone who doesn’t respects
me. For me respect goes both ways, if I’m giving someone respect and being
nice to them then I expect them to do the same. This helps me value the people
who are important in my life and treat them in a nice manner.
4) Change: embracing change helps me in many ways. It encourages me to step
out of my comfort zone and experience new things and get more opportunities. It
makes me flexible which helps me adjusting to new environment. Therefore, I’m
always willing to listen to new ideas which makes it easy for the people around
me to work with me. As I think in order to succeed in life, embracing change is
important as if you’ll be reluctant and afraid to step out of your comfort zone, you
cannot succeed and will be left behind while the rest would be achieving
milestones.
5) Responsibility: taking responsibility for one’s own actions helps develop our
character and personality as I think one of the maturity is when you’re willing to
take accountability for your actions. Taking up responsibility makes me feel more
confident about myself and thus makes me more prepared to take up challenges.
It helps me take more informed decisions and perform my tasks well by giving my
100%.

WORKBOOK 2
Q1: On the following two pages, read each statement and, using your best
judgement, circle the number that indicates how well you perform in each habit.
(1 being very poor and 6 being outstanding).

Ans:

“Emotional Bank account”

1. I show kindness and consideration towards others. ( 5 )

2. I keep promises and honor commitments. ( 5 )
3. I do not speak negatively of others when they are not present. ( 4 )

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“P/PC Balance”

4. I am able to maintain an appropriate balance among the various aspects of my

life – family, friends, work and so forth. ( 4 )
5. When working on a task, I also keep in mind the concerns and needs of those I
am working for. ( 5 )
6. I work hard in the things I do, but not in a manner that causes burnout. (4)
“Habit: 1. Be Proactive”

7. I am in control of my life. ( 3 )
8. I focus my efforts on the things I can do something about rather than on the
things beyond my control. ( 6 )
9. I take responsibility for my moods rather than blame on others and
circumstances. ( 4 )

Habit 2: “Being with the end in mind”

10. I know what I want to accomplish in life. ( 5 )

11. I organize and prepare in a way that reduces having to work in a crisis mode.(5)
12. I begin each week with a clear plan of what I desire to accomplish. ( 5 )
Habit 3: “Put First Things First”

13. I am disciplined in carrying out plans (avoiding procrastination, time- wasters

and so forth). (4)
14. I don’t allow the truly important activities of my life to get lost in the busy
activities of my days. ( 5 )
15. The things I do every day are meaningful and contribute to my overall goals in
life. ( 4 )

Habit 4: “Think Win-Win”

16. I care about the success of others as well as my known. ( 6 )

17. I cooperate with others. ( 5 )

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 18. When solving conflicts, I try to find solutions that benefit all. ( 6 )

Habit 5: “Seek first to understand, then be understood”

19. I am sensitive to the feelings of others. ( 5 )

20. I seek to understand the viewpoints of others. ( 6 )
21. When listening, I try to see things from the other persons point of view, not just
my own. ( 6 )

Habit 6: “Synergize”

22. I value and seek out the insights of others. ( 6 )

23. I am creative in searching for new and better ideas and solutions for others. ( 6 )
24. I encourage others to express their opinions. ( 6 )

Habit 7: “Sharpen the Saw”

25. I care for my physical health and well-being. ( 5 )

26. I strive to build and improve relationships with others. ( 6 )
27. I take time to find meaning and enjoyment in life. ( 6 )
Emotiona P/PC Habit 1: Habit 2: Habit Habit Habit 5: Habit 6: Habit 7:
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 16

Very
Good 15
14

13

Good 12

Habit Tools

11

10

Fair 9

HABITS
Q1: A habit is the intersection of knowledge, skill, and desire. Knowledge is what
to do and the why. Skill is the how to do. Desire is the motivation- the want to do.
All three of these things must come together in order to make a habit. Think of

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two habits you have, one good and one bad. In the space below write down the
knowledge, skills, and desires connected with those two habits. (5 lines)

 Positive Habit: PRIORITIZING MYSELF OVER OTHERS

I think nowadays giving priority to yourself and giving importance to your mental health
is very important. If you won’t give priority and respect to yourself then no one else
would either, hence self-care holds a significance in my life. (Knowledge)

I give priority to those things that are going to make me happy and avoid engaging in
activities or dealing with people that spoil my mood, I also tend to keep a limited social
circle consisting of only those people who care about me instead of engaging with those
people who don’t realise my worth. (Skill)

This habit of mine has helped increase my self-esteem and remove toxic people from
my life who are only there to harm me. As if you won’t prioritise yourself in life then you
won’t be able to succeed as you’d be your worst enemy, constantly judging yourself and
not willing to take up on challenging opportunities and stepping out of your comfort
zone. This habit of mine has helped me achieve many milestones in life and I wish to
achieve even more in the future. (Desire)

 Negative Habit: PROCRASTINATION

I often end up wasting time and delaying tasks until the very last minute. (Knowledge)
I’m a perfectionist so I often delay tasks until I suddenly feel more inspired or have a
better idea to perform the task and yield the perfect results. (Skill)

When the inspiration strikes, that’s when I start performing the task. Even though I
never fail even when I procrastinate, but this habit of mine leads to a lot of stress and
often makes me exhausted. (Desire) Especially in cases when the deadline for a
specific project has only a day left and I start working on the project a night before the
deadline, thus losing my sleep when the others are sleeping as they have completed
their projects days before the deadline.

Q2: Habits have a tremendous pull- more than most people realize or will admit.
Breaking a deeply embedded habit involves great effort and, oftentimes, major

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changes in our lives. Look back at what you wrote down about your bad habit.
Are you willing to undertake whatever is necessary to break that habit? If you are,
write down three things you will do to begin the process of breaking that habit.
Keep a record of your progress. (5 lines for each thing you will do.)

1. Firstly I’d break the task into smaller parts in order to combat my habit of
procrastination. I’d set shorter deadlines for the tasks that have been broken
down into smaller portions e.g. a marketing report on Nestle needs to be
submitted so I’ll divide the task into the number of headings that needed to be
added and if the report is to be submitted in a week then I’ll set a 3 hour deadline
for each heading. This way I’ll panic less and work more.
2. Secondly, I’ll reward myself for accomplishing a small task. Instead of
procrastinating and watching tv shows on Netflix, I’ll complete my task and then
reward myself by watching an episode of my favorite tv show on Netflix along
with eating my favorite snack. This way I won’t lose motivation to complete a
task.
3. Thirdly, I’ll just get started as soon as I get a task and not wait until I feel inspired
to do that particular job. I’ll just “wing” it and do whatever comes to my mind until
I’ve finally found the right way or technique to perform the task and make
amendments to the work that I was doing before. This is basically like making a
rough draft of an essay you’re supposed to write and then picking out the
important points that need to be talked about in detail. Even the longest journey
begins with one small step.

Q3: Looking at the Maturity Continuum, where are you right now? Take a few
minutes and record where you are now and why. What behaviors and attitudes do
you exhibit that put you at this stage of the continuum? Are you beginning to see
where you need the most work? (9 Lines)

After examining myself, I discovered that I am in the stage of Independence, on my way

to Interdependence. As I'm growing older, I am becoming less emotionally,
psychologically, as well as physically dependent on my parents and all those around
me. My paradigm is more focused on my own self and my well-being. I hold myself

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accountable for any and all that happens in my life, irrespective of the circumstances.
Along with this, as I progress towards interdependency, I feel myself partnering,
coordinating, and reaching out more effectively to those who are most significant to me.
I believe I have mastered Habit 4: Think Win-Win and Habit 5: Understand first, then be
understood the most. I believe that there are always two sides to every story, and that
understanding the people around you is just as vital as understanding yourself; only
then can you determine what is right and wrong and act accordingly. The win-win
technique fosters an environment in which both parties can find a solution that benefits
them, because if they don't, one must compromise for the sake of others. It also allows
you to identify humanity in others because becoming acquainted with people who share
the same objectives as you allows you to gain a greater understanding about them. It
also makes you more assertive because it helps you to not only say what you want but
also consider the needs of others. One widely recognized characteristic of highly
competent people is to consider the needs of others in addition to their own.

WORKBOOK 3
REACTIVE WAYS
Q4: Think of two or three situations in your personal life during the past few
weeks when you have responded in a reactive way. Describe what you said. (5
lines for each situation)

1. Fighting with my brother because he ate my leftover pasta in the fridge. I was
fasting that day so I had kept the pasta from last night in the fridge so I could eat
it after Iftar but I found out that he had eaten it so I lost my calm and started
shouting at him. I said a lot of mean things to him that disappointed my parents a
lot.

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 2. A heated argument with a random guy who had parked his car right outside our
gate. It was parked so close to our gate that I couldn’t fully open the gate as it
would have hit his car. I got angry because this isn’t the right way to park a car
and so reacted in a reactive way towards the guy and complained how he should
first learn the basic ethics and then drive a car. I even wanted to puncture his tire
with a knife to make him regret his actions.

PROACTIVE POSSIBILITIES
Q5: Now think of some proactive responses you might have used in the same
situations. Write them down in the spaces below. (5 lines for each situation)

1. I should’ve kept my calm and not have acted like a spoilt child over a plate of
pasta. I should’ve thought about what I’d say to my brother twice as sometimes
when angry you often blurt out things you didn’t intend to. I should’ve politely
asked him to accept his mistake as I had told everyone before that I had kept the
pasta for myself. I shouldn’t have fought over food as that’s something most
people are struggling to get these days.
2. I should have calmly talked to the guy and made him understand how it is wrong
to park this way in a street as you need to care about the residents of the
neighbourhood as well.

MY UNHAPPINESS/STRESS
Q6: Make it a point to really listen to your language during the next week. Is your
language more proactive or reactive?

My language is a mix of both proactive and reactive. It mainly depends on my mood.

When I’m having a bad day, already feeling low or mad over something I often react in a
reactive way over the smallest things but other than that I usually do keep my calm and
even if I do react in a reactive way, if I feel like I’ve overreacted I do apologise.

Q7: Is there an area in your life you are unhappy about or frustrated by family, a
relationship, your job?

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I’m a little frustrated about my job. I’m a content creator and a makeup artist. But still I’m
praying and trying to remain positive, manifesting that I get success in my career. Also a
little unhappy due to family drama but trying to look on the bright side and give
importance to the people who truly care about me and my family.

Q8: What are you unhappy about or frustrated by? For example, do you feel
powerless, hopeless, or used? Describe the situation.

Sometimes I feel frustrated as people who’d put in little to no effort would get millions of
views on their videos and I think I deserve that engagement as well as I put in so much
effort in my content but Instagram algorithm sometimes doesn’t push the videos to my
audience and limits my reach. Sometimes when brands reach out and want me to
create content for them, when I tell them my charges for creating content they often
want to negotiate saying “they don’t have the budget”. As a makeup artist it’s frustrating
when clients want me to reduce my charges which are already quite less as compared
to what is being followed by the majority of other makeup artists. They need to take into
consideration that imported makeup products are used whose prices are skyrocketing
and in these times of inflation asking someone to reduce their charges that are already
set at PKR-4000 for a glam look is unfair to my art. In such situations I feel powerless
and used.

Q9: What is the stimulus to your frustration or unhappiness?

The stimulus is to just pray from Allah to ease my hardships so I don’t feel helpless as I
know only Allah can help me in such situations. I try to not think about these things and
focus on what I love doing which is creating content for my Instagram and doing
makeup professionally. I have full faith that these struggles are going to make me
successful one day and help me excel in my career.

MY RESPONSE
Q8: How do you respond?

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I respond to such situations by trying to find a solution; by reaching a compromise with
the other party involved only when I feel like things are in my control. When I feel like I
have no control I leave it onto Allah and pray for the best to happen.

OTHER CHOICES
Q9: What other choices might exist between the stimulus and the response?

There are many different factors that can come into play between a stimulus and a
response like:

1. The way we perceive and interpret a stimulus can greatly impact how we
respond to it. For example, two people might hear the same criticism, but one
person might take it as constructive feedback while the other person might feel
insulted and defensive.
2. Our level of attention and focus can also impact our response. For example, if
we're distracted or not fully engaged in a conversation, we might miss important
cues or misunderstand what's being said, which can lead to a less effective
response.
3. Our emotional state and mood can also influence our response. For example, if
we're feeling angry or frustrated, we might be more likely to respond with
aggression or defensiveness, while if we're feeling calm and happy, we might be
more open to a constructive conversation.
4. Our values and beliefs can shape how we interpret and respond to stimuli. For
example, if we strongly believe in the importance of honesty, we might respond
differently to a lie than someone who doesn't place as much importance on
honesty.
5. Our past experiences and learning can also influence our response. For
example, if we've had negative experiences with a certain type of situation or
person in the past, we might be more likely to respond defensively when faced
with a similar situation or person again.

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 Overall, there are many different factors that can come into play between a stimulus
and a response, and understanding these factors can help us better understand and
control our own responses.

MASTER THE MOMENT

Q10: Think of a recent situation (possibly the one you chose earlier) and take it
through the MASTER steps. (5 lines each)

Measure how important the situation is to you on a scale of 1- 5.

SITUATION: Fighting with the random guy in my neighborhood for parking his car right
infront of my gate.

• Measure: on a scale of 1-5 this situation is important as it wasn’t the first time it
was happening. That guy has parked his car in the same way (really close to my
gate) before as well. Hence confronting him was important for me as he would
have done that again if I wouldn’t have confronted him.

• Assess: I was very mad because I was shocked at the audacity of that guy to
park his car again for the second time in the same week in the same manner
because why couldn’t he realize that parking really close to someone’s gate and
blocking their way isn’t right. So I lost my temper.

• See: I was ready to fight with him and make sure he thinks twice before parking
his car at the wrong spot next time.

• Think: I should have confronted him in a less aggressive manner and instead of
fighting should have calmly made him realize his mistake.

• Engage or exit: engaging in a conversation with him was important to avoid the
same thing from happening again and to find a solution to the problem.

• Review: assessing by the way I should’ve acted I believe I have the ability to
behave in a proactive way while dealing with such issues.

Q11: Would the outcome have been different if you had used this technique?

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 Yes, the situation could have been resolved quicker if I had acted in a more proactive
way. The guy involved wouldn’t have gotten mad either and we wouldn’t have engaged
in an argument.

Q12: Use the MASTER checklist for one week. Make a conscious effort to use
your "pause" button in the moment of choice and work toward proactive
responses. Assess your progress at the end of the week by answering these
questions:

1. What were the outcomes to my conscious, proactive responses?

A heated argument with the guy in my neighborhood could have been avoided and
we both wouldn’t have felt guilty for reacting in a reactive manner towards each
other.

2. What would have been the outcomes had I chosen reactive responses?

The exact opposite, especially given how horrible reactive responses may be, would
have resulted in no understanding and additional fights, as well as negative feelings
towards one another.

3. In what ways have my proactive responses improved my life?

I no longer stress too much over situations and deal with my problems without losing
my temper.

MY CIRCLES
Q13: During this week, write down the various challenges and problems you face.
Which area does each fall within? What is your immediate response? (At least 5
challenges or problems)

Challenge/Problem Area Response

My cat getting sick Circle of concern Taking him to the vet and
praying he gets better
My phone’s screen broke and I lost Circle of influence Getting a new phone and

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all my data backing up the data
Couldn’t spend my Eid with my family Circle of influence Promised to visit and stay
in Faisalabad due to my brother’s exams with them in our Summer
vacations
Inflation Circle of concern Frustrated about how its
Difficult to manage expenses
Fight with a friend Circle of influence Confronted her to resolve the
issue

Q14: Making your Circle of Influence grow, choose one challenge from each of
the areas above that you would like to work on during the next week. How will
you change your response to meet the challenge more effectively?

1. Circle of Influence
Fight with a friend: Instead of keeping grudges I should confront my friend for
whatever has been bothering me as by keeping it away from her, it gets bottled
up inside me and then I lash out at her which leads to an intense fight between
us. I need to be more open with her about what bothers me and communicate
our problems with each other calmly instead of fighting. It’s okay to have
disagreements over certain things as everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
2. Circle of Concern
Inflation: everyone around the world is suffering because of the higher inflation
rates so I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head and food to eat as
some people don’t even have access to these basic necessities. Instead of
getting frustrated over how expensive everything is and how it’s difficult to
manage expenses and incomes, I should make a list and cut down on some
things for a while e.g. unnecessarily dining out, shopping for something that I
really don’t need and stick to spending only on the things that I really need and
can’t manage without. I also should start saving more money instead of spending
to help in these tough times and have faith in Allah to ease our hardships.

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Q16: Is there something you have always wanted to do but felt you didn't have the
talent, time, or ability? What would it take for you to overcome your weaknesses?
What one thing can you do this week to begin?

I always wanted to create a YouTube channel of my own since I was in 8th grade. But I
felt like I didn’t have enough resources and feared that people wouldn’t like my content.
However everyone starts from nowhere first, all it takes is a little bit motivation and
confidence to take a new step in life. So I should have been more confident about
following this desire of mine and should have taken the risk instead of regretting not
doing something. This is why I have started making more comprehensive content e.g.
product reviews, vlogs etc. on my Instagram blog in order to get a hold of what it takes
to make content for YouTube and monetize it. Maybe starting off from Instagram may
encourage me to finally make a YouTube channel one day.

Q17: If you could develop a new talent, what would it be?

If I could develop any new talent, I would choose to be able to learn languages quickly
and easily. I would choose this because I think that being able to speak languages other
than my native language is a valuable thing. I think that being able to speak to people
from other cultures is important because it increases my understanding of cultures other
than my own.

Q18: If you could travel to anywhere in the world, where would it be?

if I had a chance to travel, I would go to Italy, the land of rich and distinct cuisines as I
love eating good food and would love to try the authentic pastas, pizzas and all sorts of
cheese in Italy.

Q19: If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

One thing I’d like to change about my life is that I want to be able to socialize with
people more easily. I do fine as it is, but I’m usually pretty quiet and appear intimidating
to some as well in the beginning which makes it a little harder to start conversations and
to meet new people. I’ve this fear in me that I’d get ignored if I start the conversation so
I’d like to change that about myself.

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Q20: Use the space below to record your plan for implementing ways to make
your answers to the FOUR questions above.

Firstly I’d sit down and think about my strongest areas or the skills I possess that I can
showcase through my videos and decide what kind of content I want to put on YouTube
that is going to make people binge watch my videos and not leave without subscribing.
Public speaking won’t be a problem since I have been into debates etc. as well so my
speaking skills are top notch. I just need to bring something different to the community
that is going to benefit me and the people watching my videos as well. Something fun
yet informative. Then I can decide on other things e.g setup, monetization requirements
etc.

In order to develop my talent of learning new languages, I can join some language
courses so I can learn different languages e.g. German, Turkish, Korean etc. these
language courses will help me develop this talent.

I’ve always wanted to travel to other countries so I’d start saving money from today in
order to travel to Italy and to be able to try out their authentic pasta, pizzas and many
other flavours. Maybe by the time I’d get to travel, I might have a Youtube channel as
well where I could film daily vlogs of my travels and guide people about visa process,
restaurant recommendations, hotel recommendations etc that’s going to benefit those
who’re planning to travel abroad. I think travelling is essential as you get to learn about
other people’s cultures as well and when I’ll be fluent in other languages as well, it
would make my travels easier. So all these 4 goals of mine are linked with each other
and I hope I can achieve them soon.

WORKBOOK 4
CHECKING YOUR VISION
Q20: What am I doing right now with my life? Does it make me happy? Do I feel
fulfilled?

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Currently I’m a student of Bahria University and I’m really satisfied with how my
academics are going. My gpa was average in the beginning as I didn’t know how to
handle the university pressure but I’ve finally learned how to manage my university work
alongside other things and my gpa has improved drastically so I’m really happy about
that. Along with being a student, I’m a part time content creator and a makeup artist as
well and I’m not fully satisfied by how things are working out in terms of my work right
now but still grateful for whatever opportunity i’m getting though I wish to gain more
success and exposure in this field.

Q21: What do I keep gravitating toward? Is it different from what I am currently

doing?

In terms of my studies in future, I’ve several ideas in my mind but right now I’m focused
on getting by degree and take finance as my major in order to pave the way for many
other opportunities in the future. My degree is going to help support my business as well
as I’d be able to apply everything that I’ve learnt and become a successful
entrepreneur.

Q22: What did I like to do as a child? Do those things still bring me satisfaction?
Am I doing any of them?

As a child I loved reading books and even now reading books makes me really happy
as it is a form of escape for me from this real world. So whenever I’m feeling low I
always pick up a book and start reading in order to take myself in a whole another world
and forget about my problems for some time. I also loved doing makeup as I used to
use my mom’s lipsticks to draw on my face and even now doing makeup is therapeutic
for me which is why I’m turning this hobby of mine into a career opportunity as well.

Q23: What interests me most right now?

Being able to spend time with my school friends as all of us are in different universities
and some in different countries as well. So just the thought of meeting them excites me
as all my friends are super close to me and I love spending time with them.

Q24: What fills my soul?

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Offering prayers five times a day and learning more about my religion and getting closer
to it every day. Just the thought of having offered 5 prayers everyday gives me a sense
of fulfilment as I was someone who was very irregular about my prayers. Hence I
always wish to be able to offer my prayers daily as now even missing one prayer makes
me really sad. Praying helps me to be in peace as I can share whatever is stressing me
out with God as He is the only one who actually listens and helps ease my pain.

Q25: What can I do well? What are my unique traits and strengths?

My strengths are: problem solving, communication and leadership. These are some
traits that everyone should possess as they help you a lot in life. Communication is
essential as being able to make others understand what you are saying and also
comprehend their response is really important. Leadership skills also help me as I know
how to make a team of people work with me and perform the tasks well while also
keeping them motivated and if anyone’s stuck or has a problem they can’t solve, I have
the best advices and solutions to provide them with.

(5 lines for each questions)

PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT

Step 1: Brainstorm Ideas

1. Identify an influential person.

Identify one person who had (knowingly or unknowingly) a positive influence on your life.
What are the qualities you most admire in this person? What qualities did you gain from this
person?

The one person who influences me the most is Rihanna.

Rihanna is a talented musician, entrepreneur, and philanthropist who has had a positive influence
on many people's lives, including her fans and those who have followed her career. Her strength,
resilience, and creativity have inspired many, and her commitment to using her platform for social
and political activism has made her a role model for me.

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One of the qualities that I admire most about Rihanna is her fearless attitude towards taking risks
and trying new things. Whether it's experimenting with new music genres or launching a successful
makeup line, she always approaches new challenges with confidence and determination. Her ability
to pivot and adapt to changing circumstances is truly impressive. She left many awestricken when
she launched her makeup line “Fenty Beauty” and was the first one in the makeup industry to
introduce an inclusive shade range for her products thus making a shade for every skin tone, colour
and undertone out there. She set new beauty standards for other brands as well and many have
followed her footsteps and introduced inclusive shade ranges. Everyone expected her makeup
brand to be bland and boring but she proved everyone wrong with her back to back launches of
products with innovative designs that were loved by many.

Another quality that I admire about Rihanna is her commitment to using her platform to advocate for
causes she believes in. She has been a vocal advocate for women's rights and racial justice, and
has used her platform to raise awareness about important social issues. Her dedication to giving
back to her community through her Clara Lionel Foundation is also commendable.

From Rihanna, I have learned the importance of being fearless and persistent in pursuing my goals.
Her commitment to social justice has inspired me to become more involved in activism and use my
own platform to make a positive impact on the world.

2. Define who you want to become.

Imagine it is twenty years in the future. You have achieved all you ever hoped to achieve.
What is your list of accomplishments? What do you want to have, do, and be?

List of accomplishments 20 years later: (I’ll be 41 years old)

1) Running a successful business – being a professional makeup artist or serving in Civil

Services
2) A successful content creator gaining recognition from international as well as national brands
3) Get involved in charity work and help humans along with animals as well
4) Married to someone who understands and supports my goals
5) Settled in life and have a happy family
6) Fulfill my roles as a daughter, sister, wife, mother as best as I can
7) Performed pilgrimage and taken my parents along as well

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 8) Affording all the luxuries that I dreamt to achieve when I was a child

3. Determine what is important to you today.

What are the ten things that are most rewarding to you today? What do you live for and love
in life?

1) My family
2) My friends
3) My cat “Cookie”
4) Becoming a professional makeup artist
5) Becoming a successful content creator
6) Practicing my religion and getting closer to it
7) Helping others in any way I can
8) Doing something for the welfare of animals
9) Reading books
10) Travelling
11) Earning money through my content creation and makeup bookings

Q: Write a Personal Mission Statement.

Ans: My personal mission is to become a successful professional makeup artist and content
creator, while staying true to my values of respect, honesty, and loyalty. It is my aim to live a life that
is guided by my values, beliefs, and achievements

I am committed to continuously developing my skills and expertise in the field of makeup artistry,
staying up-to-date with the latest techniques and trends. I am dedicated to providing exceptional
service to my clients, whether they be everyday people or high-profile celebrities, ensuring that they
leave feeling confident and beautiful. I aim to build my name in this industry and be acknowledged
by my achievements and contributions.

As a content creator, I strive to produce high-quality, engaging content that inspires and empowers
my audience. I believe in using my platform to promote positive messages and to make a difference
in the world.

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In my personal life, I aim to build long-term fulfilling relationships and fulfill all my commitments. I
want to support my parents and be there for them and wish to marry someone who shares the
same values and beliefs as me so we can both support each other work interdependently in order to
achieve success in our fields and stay happy. I want to be remembered as someone who
unconditionally loved her family and friends and was committed to do anything for them.

Above all, I value respect, treating others with kindness, empathy, and understanding. Honesty is
also essential to me, as I believe that transparency and integrity are crucial to building strong, long-
lasting relationships. And finally, loyalty is important to me, both in my personal and professional
relationships, as I believe in being a dependable and trustworthy ally to those who have earned my
trust.

In everything I do, I strive to embody these values, and to use my skills and talents to make a
positive impact on the world and to be remembered in good words by those who talk about me.

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