Resource 1: Friendship attitudes ©PSHE Association 2023

1 ‘Good friends will never fall out.’

Strongly agree Strongly disagree

2 ‘You should not forgive someone unless they say sorry and
really mean it.’

Strongly agree Strongly disagree

3 ‘A real friend will always listen to how you feel.

Strongly agree Strongly disagree

4 ‘It’s best to avoid talking about a difference of opinion

between friends, otherwise it could lead to an argument.’

Strongly agree Strongly disagree

5 ‘If a friend does something that annoys you, you should be

honest and tell them they have annoyed you.’

Strongly agree Strongly disagree

6 ‘It’s never ok for a friend to say hurtful things.’

Strongly agree Strongly disagree

End of lesson review: add your new reflections about friendship challenges and how to overcome them based
on your learning in the lesson.
Resource 2: Friendship and communication ©PSHE Association 2023

Forms of communication

Attacking: Open:
• Tries to have power over others. • Tries to speak truthfully about what the person wants
and is open to other people’s ideas.
• Might criticise, blame or humiliate, be threatening or
rude. • Willing to truly understand the other person’s point of
view and prepared to change their mind if good ideas
• Often happens in the moment when emotions are
or points are made.
strong.
• Has an open mind and wants the best outcome for
• Involves ‘you’ statements that blame the other person,
both people.
such as: ‘You are being unreasonable’, ‘You are so
sensitive.’
Uniting:
• Does not include much listening and there is a lot of
interruption. • Tries to reach an outcome that both people will be
satisfied with.
Evasive: • Finds similarities in people’s goals, even if the way they
want to reach that goal is different.
• Tries to avoid the issue or deny there is an issue at all.
• Involves listening and expressing feelings respectfully.
• Could involve outright lying (lying without needing to).
• Focuses on ‘I’ statements, such as: ‘I feel that this is
• Could involve defensive lying (to protect themselves).
hard because…’, ‘I feel upset about this because…’.
• C
 ould involve withholding information (avoiding
certain topics because they don’t want to have to say
something they know about it).
• Can limit deeper connections with others because of a
lack of honesty.

Informing:
• Tries to explain what someone wants to happen but is
not direct.
• For example, ‘It’s too noisy in here with the door open’,
means, ‘Please can you shut the door’.
• Sometimes communication in this way can feel
confusing and frustrating as it is unclear. The intended
result may not happen, meaning people can feel
ignored.
Resource 3: Overcoming friendship challenges ©PSHE Association 2023

1. Messaging on phones:
Resource 3: Overcoming friendship challenges ©PSHE Association 2023

2. Walking home from school:

Resource 3: Overcoming friendship challenges ©PSHE Association 2023

3. Breaktime at school:
Breaktime at school, Jules feels like Owen has been avoiding her for
a couple of days. Two days ago, Owen overheard their other friend
criticising Jules to a group of other people in their year and they
were laughing. Owen doesn’t want to get caught in the middle.
Resource 3a: Talking through friendship challenges ©PSHE Association 2023

Attacking Messaging on phones:

Criticising or blaming, not Marcie: I’ll fill you in about the party when I see you.
listening. Nari: What? You’re gonna go without me?
Marcie: Why shouldn’t I?
Nari: That’s so off, you always do stuff without me.
You’re never bothered that I’m missing it and just hang
out with other people. You are so selfish! You’re a
rubbish friend.
No reply from Marcie.
Evasive
Avoiding the problem or lying
about it.

Walking home from school:

Nicki: Are you gaming tonight? That new level is pretty
hard.
Marek: You only got onto that new level because I
showed you how.
Informing
Describing what they want in Nicki: What? You’re so full of yourself!
an unclear way. Marek: No, I’m just better than you.
Nicki: Right, I don’t even want to play it with you
anymore! Screams in frustration.

Open
Being open and direct about Owen doesn’t want to get caught in the middle of two
what they want. friends. Jules is a really good friend but another friend
has been criticising her a lot and Owen is trying to keep
out of it.
Jules: Hey Owen, I’ve hardly seen you this week, where
have you been?
Owen: I’ve been here, don’t know what you mean.
Jules: Yeah, you’ve been here but we haven’t been
Uniting hanging out. I can tell you’re not telling me something!
Trying to find solutions that Owen: No! Everything is fine!
work for everyone. Jules walks away.
Resource 4: Conflict management strategies ©PSHE Association 2023

Accommodating • When one person is willing to give up their position/give in.

• They may realise that this would be fairer or think that the relationship is more
important than the issue.
• However, if one person always does the accommodating, this may raise questions
about how healthy the relationship is.

Evading • This means avoiding the issue.

• It could involve having space from the person the conflict is with for a short time, in
order to calm down.
• It can be useful in the short-term but needs to be followed-up with another strategy,
otherwise the issue itself is not resolved.

Collaborating • This means working with someone to achieve a common goal.

• People focus on resolving the problem rather than personal emotions and avoid
blaming each other. Instead, they empathise
• Everyone has to be committed to making this work for it to be effective..

Compromising • This is when neither person gets the exact outcome they want but it is acceptable for
both.
• It can be effective when both people are more concerned about their relationship
than the cause of the disagreement and are able to empathise with each other.
• It also helps people to move past a disagreement and the tension that comes with it.