Wanted

Wrong Side of the Tracks #5

K.A. Merikan

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 Wanted

K.A. Merikan

Wrong Side of the Tracks #5

“I’m pretty sure he likes dick. Now I just need to

make him realize it.”

Liver. F*ckboy extraordinaire. Race car driver. Cocky. Horny. Would kill
for his best friend.
Knox. Kickboxer with a chip on his shoulder and a heart condition.
Crybaby. Would get rid of a body for his best friend.
Both: Wanted for questioning in connection to a murder.
Both: Possibly-maybe in love with each other and too dumb to see it.
Liv never meant to kill anyone. It was an accident. What was he supposed
to do when his best friend’s life was at stake?
 As much as Knox appreciates the whole saving his life thing, they’re now
wanted by the cops, on the run, homeless, hungry, and miserable. At least
they have each other.
They hope to find shelter in a vast junkyard, instead they witness a crime
and are about to get dunked in acid.
But they’ve overheard that the owner of the place shelters gay guys.
So Liv does the most logical thing. He pretends to be Knox’s boyfriend to
get their lives spared. Knox might not like it, but what choice do they have
once they started lying?
Only that touching Knox starts an avalanche of new feelings and desires
Liv never anticipated. His dick is on board even before his brain is.
Now, all he needs to do is convince Knox that there’s nothing wrong in
exploring this new attraction. Sadly, Knox can be as stubborn as he is pretty,
but Liv wasn’t called the trailer park prince for nothing.
He’ll do whatever it takes to make Knox see the light.
And by light, he means his dick.

Themes: bi-awakening, gay-awakening, best friends to lovers,

internalized homophobia, coming out, first times, fake dating, partners in
crime, dark humor, jealousy, idiots to lovers, oblivious to love, fake
relationship, found family, afraid to commit, illegal racing, poverty
Genre: Scorching hot, gritty M/M romance
Length: ~125,000 words (Standalone)
WARNING: This story contains scenes of violence, offensive language
and morally gray characters.

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This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living, dead, or undead,
events, places or names is purely coincidental.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transferred in any form or by any means, without the
written permission of the publisher. Uploading and distribution of this book via the Internet or via
any other means without a permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law.
Text copyright © 2024 K.A. Merikan
All Rights Reserved
http://kamerikan.com
Cover design by
Natasha Snow
https://www.natashasnow.com/
Editing by No Stone Unturned
https://www.facebook.com/NoStoneUnturnedEditingServices/

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 Contents

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Epilogue
Epilogue 2
About the author

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 Chapter 1

Liv

“SO, YOU'RE TELLING ME you're not having sex with me because you
have to pick up my loser ex whose useless car is broken? I thought he was
the one with the sex drive of a dried worm,” Amanda said, flapping her
arms as if this could prevent her crash with reality.
Her voice drilled into Liv’s ear like a hungry cockroach, but after a week
of dating, it’d become white noise. Ignoring her moaning, Liv checked all
the kitchen cupboards, and then the little hanger with kitchen utensils, but
the car keys remained lost while the wolf-shaped clock ticked away the
seconds remaining until the end of Knox’s shift.
“There’s a cucumber in the fridge, if you’re so insatiable,” he mumbled,
walking over to the sofa at one end of the trailer and pushing his fingers
between the limp cushions. He needed to get going, because it was almost 2
a.m., and Knox would be losing his shit if his ride home failed to arrive on
time.
Amanda clutched at her hair and let out a frustrated roar, as if she were
forced to deal with someone’s unruly kid. “You’re such a shithead! I’d
dump you if your dick wasn’t worth its weight in gold.”
When Liv ignored her, turning away, a pillow hit the back of his head and
fell to the sticky floor he’d been meaning to wash since the party last
Friday. He glared at her but she only gave him a self-satisfied smirk, as if
making him acknowledge her presence was already a win. Liv took a deep
breath and pushed down his anger, because this wasn’t the time to deal with
Amanda’s bullshit. He could have sworn he’d left the keys on the
windowsill, like always. Short hair tickled his palm as he rubbed his head in
frustration.
“Are you sure you haven’t seen them? There’s a little hot rod keychain
attached to them.” A gift from Knox for his twenty-first birthday two years
back. The paint was scraped off in a few spots, but the little accessory
remained one of his favorite possessions. Too bad he couldn’t call it with
his phone to locate the damn keys!
Amanda, who at this point wore a tiny skirt and nothing else, rolled over
on the sofa, briefly attracting Liv’s attention with her perky little breasts.
“Why do you care anyway? If he really was your best friend, we would
have never gotten together.”
A scowl twisted his lips, but she couldn’t see it anyway when he peeked
under the paint-splattered table he and Knox used for DIY projects.
This attitude was exactly why he chose to fuck bro code and sleep with
her in the first place. Knox had fallen for her pretty eyes (and lies) far too
easily, and he didn’t deserve to have his heart stomped on by a woman who
didn’t respect him or care about him.
Amanda had been shooting Liv flirty glances since the very start of that
relationship, and since Knox was too stubborn to believe his best friend, the
only way to get him out of that mess had been to force the truth in his face.
And… well, Liv had been fucking Amanda since, so now Knox hated
them both. Maybe in time, he would understand that Liv did him a favor.
For now though, Amanda’s pussy was enough of a distraction to ignore all
her other qualities for a while longer. Tonight, though, she was really testing
him.
“I’ll pick him up even if I have to walk there. So, I’m asking you again:
have you seen the keys?”
“No. Why can’t he take an Uber or something? Is he that broke?”
Amanda rolled her eyes and pulled on her nipple as if she thought she could
seduce Liv into staying.
Fat chance.
Liv might have the sex drive of a feral dog, but he was also as loyal as
one when it mattered, and his best friend came first… even though he had
told Liv to go to Hell just last week. Fortunately, they shared one trailer and
couldn’t part just like that, which offered enough of a cooldown period to
mend Knox’s wounded pride. Or so Liv hoped.
They’d shared this place for the past four years, since their parents had
gotten together, forming the most dysfunctional of couples. But Knox and
Liv? They fit together like bacon and eggs. Brothers from other mothers
and all that. Liv would always have Knox’s back, whether that entailed
lying to the cops or fucking his girlfriend to shake him out of his pointless
infatuation.
They would eventually move on from this.
“He’s not broke,” Liv lied, “But it’s a waste to pay so much money for a
ride when I have a perfectly good car.”
“He’s not broke? When’s the last time you looked at his shelf in the
fridge? That man’s idea of a meal is old pizza and half a jar of Nutella.”
Amanda’s laugh was like a series from a shotgun. It sounded just like it had
when she’d scolded Knox for having a messy haircut.
Which was a ridiculous thing to pick on, because there was nothing
wrong with Knox’s dirty blond mop. His hair barely reached below his ears,
and he often wore it in the tiniest of ponytails. If he played guitar in some
local band, Amanda would have been creaming her panties for him.
Liv was confident in his own charm, but only an idiot wouldn’t have
realized that out of the two of them, Knox was the hot one. Liv was tall,
knew how to talk to women, and made up for the gap between his front
teeth with a sense of humor and cool tattoos. But Knox? He had those
denim blue eyes women swooned over, long lashes, a bit of blond scruff
every other day, and the lean body of a kickboxer.
Why would anyone cheat on him? Especially Amanda, who’d gotten
together with Knox after a bad breakup, and told everyone who’d listen that
Knox was her best boyfriend to date, and certainly better than her now-
incarcerated ex.
Liv could swear this woman’s preferences changed every other week.
And he was getting increasingly annoyed with her attitude. “You’re only
saying this because you didn’t stick around long enough to try his barbeque.
Only the people he really likes get to try his meat,” he said, shaking his
head at her. “That’s not you.”
A dark cloud passed over her features, and she covered her breasts with a
blanket as if to communicate her body was now off limits. Which was
laughable, because if Liv wanted to, he’d get her to spread her legs for him
in under a minute.
“Oh, yeah? Did you try his meat?” she asked with a provocative smirk.
Really? Was she trying to gay-shame him? He’d made her come three
times just this morning.
“Sure did. He always saves the best piece for me. Jealous?” Liv said,
wiggling his brows.
Amanda scowled. “You’re disgusting. I’m so sick of this. The keys are in
the fruit bowl. Go pick up your boyfriend, but I’ll be expecting a good long
fuck when you’re back, and he can plug his ears with old pizza if he doesn’t
want to listen.”
Now that Liv knew she’d tried to manipulate him, that was definitely not
happening. And at this point, even her pretty face and heart-shaped ass
couldn’t make up for the attitude problems.
Maybe if she was gone from their lives for good, Knox would find it
easier to forgive him?
“I’m afraid my dick won’t ever get hard again after this. No longer gold,”
he added with an exaggerated pout and picked up the bowl of fruit. He
shook the few apples and tomatoes out onto the counter, along with the
keys.
Finally. Knox was surely cold out there this late into the night.
He shouldn’t be working construction for that piece of shit Vlad—who
they called Vladdy behind his back—anyway. The job was hazardous and
didn’t come with health insurance, since the pay was under the table, and
fuck knew where Vlad’s cash came from. Amanda’s friend worked some
kind of sex cam for Vlad, and she’d called him a ‘low-key pimp’, so it felt
double dirty that Knox busted his ass for mediocre pay from the bastard.
All because he was desperate to leave their trailer park forever. He’d even
said he wanted to leave Liv’s ass behind, but he couldn’t have really meant
that. Their bad blood had only started after Liv got into Amanda’s pants.
Leaving was a dream they shared, and that would never change. Girls came
and went, but the two of them? They were solid. Their friendship was the
end game.
Amanda opened her mouth to speak again, but he ignored her and stepped
through the door adorned with an official F1 poster Knox once got from his
mom after she won a bunch of money at the casino and went on a spending
spree that got her into debt.
 The late September air made him shiver as he headed for the old Subaru
Impreza sedan he and Knox had been working on for the past two years. It
was the pre-face lift model, with a flat hood that revealed the vehicle’s age,
but when they’d first seen it in someone’s driveway, with a For Sale sign,
its potential made both their hearts beat faster. They didn’t even need to
discuss the purchase. Liv sold his new TV, Knox lent him the remaining
sum, and on the very next day they picked up their new baby… which
malfunctioned on the way home.
They’d changed out her guts since, added a rear spoiler, golden rims, then
painted her with iridescent paint that changed color between purple and
green, depending on the direction one looked from. Knox called the
extravagant coat oil spill to make it sound more masculine, but to Liv it was
scarab, which sounded way cooler anyway.
Too bad the car now featured a long and painful scar from getting keyed
along its side. Knox’s revenge for the whole Amanda debacle. He could
have done more damage but probably didn’t have the heart for it, since
they’d both worked so hard to make the car a masterpiece. Even when
Knox’s own ride malfunctioned a few weeks ago, they’d agreed on
pumping money into fancy new upholstery for Liv’s car instead of fixing it.
Knox had told him he regretted that choice when he found out what his
girlfriend had been up to behind his back, but at that point it was too late to
take it back.
Oh, well, maybe spending time together in one vehicle would lead to
some kind of truce because the last few days had been silence, door
slamming, and Knox pretending Liv did not exist.
Which he maybe deserved.
But Knox deserved someone who actually cared for him, not a self-
centered woman like Amanda. They’d been together since spring, and he
wouldn’t listen when Liv tried to inform him that she was banging other
guys on the side. Liv figured that seeing was believing and seduced
Amanda on a day when Knox was to come home early. Unfortunately, that
backfired like a prank played on a skunk.
Liv opened the car and parked his ass in the old seat that was in dire need
of an upgrade. It vomited foam on one side, and while the cover Liv had
fashioned out of an old blanket did its job well enough, he'd soon upgrade
to lime green leather. And once he and Knox finally left this dump, it would
be in style.
 They deserved it after the fucked-up start they’d had in life. Liv’s mom
was a notorious addict, Knox’s dad was doing time in prison, and once their
two remaining parents had gotten together, they dumped their kids into the
spare trailer and made the larger, nicer one, into a love nest. It had been a
blessing for two teens who wanted freedom more than anything.
For the first few weeks, Liv and Knox had lived on cereal for dinner,
chicken nuggets for breakfast, and had the time of their lives with girls
coming over for sleepovers, and nights of binging car makeover TV shows.
They only cleaned up their act a bit after a family of cockroaches had
moved in. It was so funny when Knox found a dead bug floating in his
coffee. Good times.
Liv kept his headlights off as he drove past his dad’s place, because he
did not want to be asked for spare cash. Spoiler alert: there was none in his
pocket. But as soon as he left the trailer park, the engine roared, and he sped
off with a squeal of tires.
In the middle of the night, alone on the road, he could let his skills shine
and relax, enjoying the brief moments of solitude.
Liv knew exactly where to expect a cop car, so he let go of his troubles as
his gaze focused on the asphalt passing beneath the bright lamps of the
vehicle. Life was easier in the car seat, when his pulse quickened and his
focus turned razor sharp, away from everything that made the world shit.
Only Knox’s presence in the passenger seat could have made it better.
And one day, they’d climb into this very car to get away from it all. Go
somewhere where no one knew them. Somewhere, where they could start
fresh, without all the baggage.
Knowing he was running late, Liv completely ignored speed limits on the
way to the construction site, but when he arrived Knox wasn’t waiting for
him in the usual spot in front of the sheet metal fence.
He couldn’t have possibly agreed to work until even later. He would have
texted despite their cold war.
Liv considered driving in, but he didn’t want to get dirt, or cement, or
other shit on his precious (if scarred) beauty. So he hopped out of the car,
wrapped his favorite denim jacket tighter around himself to fight the night’s
chill, and jogged past the gate, huffing into his hands. The Subaru’s heating
system was yet another thing in dire need of fixing. Preferably, before
winter.
 Maybe they should have dealt with that issue before ordering custom
upholstery, but then again, this was California, so—
Knox’s yelling cut into Liv’s thoughts like an axe.
Knox… well, he had a short fuse. And while Liv didn’t mind dealing with
it, the last person Liv wanted Knox to be in a fight with was Vlad.
Vlad, who was bald, twenty years older than Knox, and at least a hundred
pounds heavier. Vlad, who was rumored to have put his ex-wife in hospital
after beating the shit out of her. Vlad, who kept a fucking machete in his
office at the construction site.
Knox could hold his ground in a fight, courtesy of his dad training him in
kickboxing from a young age, but Liv wasn’t taking any chances.
After making sure that his switchblade was in his jeans pocket, he stood
by the sheet metal fence and peeked past it, down the sandy road cutting
through the site illuminated with a single lamp. Bright as a searchlight, it
revealed Knox facing Vlad with his hands balled into fists. Moths and other
insects spun around them in chaotic patterns, as if guided by the anger
radiating off both men, and as Vlad’s hulking form leaned toward Knox,
Liv’s blood simmered with the need to rush over and mediate.
But Knox was a proud guy, and Liv didn’t want to piss him off by
intervening, especially so soon after injuring his ego by sleeping with
Amanda. So he clenched his teeth and watched, steadying his breath to stay
calm while invisible storm clouds gathered around the site.
“I said I want my money!” Knox roared.
Fuck. He should not be getting so worked up.
“You will get your money once you stop fucking up,” Vlad rumbled in a
melodic Eastern-European accent. “The cement mixer was in good working
order before you showed up today. Your money will pay for repair, and
that’s final.”
“Like fuck it was! Your son wrecked it when he worked here during the
day. How many times did I tell you he’s sloppy?” Knox said with a snarl,
stepping closer to Vlad despite the guy having a good six inches on him.
Vlad took on the challenge and stood chest to chest with Knox. “My son?
He knew how to operate a cement mixer before he could read!”
Knox wrapped his arms on his chest. “Well, he still can’t fucking read, so
maybe he can’t operate the machinery either!”
A blade glinted in the stark light, and Liv’s feet moved before he could
think.
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 Chapter 2

Knox

KNOX HAD BEEN EYING the machete since Vlad grabbed it, but never
had he considered that the fucker would actually swing it. The blade had
always been just an empty threat, a way for Vlad to look more menacing.
Not anymore.
He jumped a step back with a yelp, all too aware of the foundation pit
opening up behind him, thirteen feet deep and filled with reinforced
concrete.
Too late. The machete slashed through his forearm, making blood gush
down his palm.
“Motherfucker!” tore from his lips as he went for Vlad’s machete-
wielding hand, but the bastard’s fist flew at his face so fast he couldn’t
escape it. The impact made him taste blood, and his head rattled as if his
brain turned into a ball and bounced off the inside of his skull. Too bad
Vlad was the one scoring all the points in this fucked-up game of pinball.
Momentum made him spin, which brought his foot dangerously close to
the edge of the pit. Steel bars reached toward the moon like the teeth of a
snake waiting for its next victim to fall into the trap. When the ground
crumbled under Knox’s heel, it was a soundless alarm that made him duck
and dash away from the foundations despite his world still spinning from
the punch.
 “Hey! Vlad! Fuck off!” Liv’s voice ripped through the air, taking half of
Vlad’s attention off Knox.
“I’ve got this!” Knox yelled with blood in his mouth, though Liv’s
presence reassured him, because Vlad was out of control.
“This is none of your fucking business, Liver!” Vlad snarled, slashing the
machete through the air in front of him.
A scream pushed at Knox’s mouth when the steroid-pumped arm swung
the blade, but Liv pulled in his stomach and got to his toes, narrowly
avoiding its tip in a move reminiscent of a dance. The fucker could even
make his fight against this gorilla look effortless and cool.
No wonder Amanda had chosen him.
“Calm the fuck down, Vlad. You don’t want to do this,” Liv said,
showing his palms in an offer of peace. The lamp shone from above, casting
a shadow on the bottom part of his face yet keeping his brown eyes in
focus. They were wide open, scanning every movement Vlad made, just
like they scanned the asphalt when Liv drove fast, racing down empty roads
and making Knox feel more alive than ever.
“I fucking do, and you’re in my way, asshole! Unless you want more
blood spilled, you better take that rabid dog home!” Vlad pointed at Knox
with his machete.
Knox pushed past Liv, ready to throw punches. “Not without my money!”
In the white light from above, Vlad’s eyes turned a spooky black, as if he
were transforming into something not quite human, but as he raised the
machete and then shoved it down, ready to split Knox’s skull, Liv pulled
Knox back by his T-shirt so hard he ended up falling into the dirt.
Vlad must have put his weight into the stab, because he lost balance and
ended up supporting his front on the damn weapon. Liv kicked it away and
shoved at the fucker hard.
“Stay the fuck away from him!”
Knox scrambled to his feet, but he wasn’t fast enough, his heart beating
erratically. He gasped for air, struggling to calm down as he watched the
exchange.
Vlad pushed Liv back and ducked a punch to reach for his weapon, but
Liv grabbed it first. As they struggled for the handle, the blade gravitated
perilously close to Liv’s side.
“I’ll stick you both on it, like a human shish kebab!” Vlad yelled when
Liv managed to pull the handle his way, and Vlad’s grip loosened.
 Liv kicked the fucker in the stomach for good measure, and Vlad let go of
the machete, waving his arms around with a yelp. His balance was holding
on by a thread, but he had nothing to grab on to, and with eyes wide as
saucers, he fell back into the pit behind him.
Liv leaped forward, trying to grab him, but it was too late, and when
Knox joined him at the edge of the pit, they both stared at Vlad’s hulking
body below.
Knox’s chest seemed to shrink around his heart, making it tremble in a
frantic fight for survival. The thick fingers that had split his lip moments
ago, twitched as blood drizzled on the concrete. Four steel bars stuck out
toward the sky, going straight through Vlad's chest and stomach.
Vlad coughed. Blinked with unseeing eyes. And stilled.
In the end, he was the one who ended up as spit-roast.

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 Chapter 3

Liv

THE GROUND UNDER LIV’S feet shifted as a heavy weight dropped into
his stomach, attempting to drag him into the pit, to join Vlad. But he was
still here, alive, and the man he’d killed was below.
The man he’d killed.
He killed a man.
His blood must have been replaced by boiling water, because he felt
nothing but heat when he stepped away from the edge, deafened by the
heavy beating of his own heart.
What the fuck had he done?
What. The. Fuck.
His life was over.
And he didn’t even mean for this to happen. He just… he was just trying
to protect Knox, and then save himself, when it became clear that bastard
Vlad was fighting him for real.
What was he going to do?
“Fuck…” Knox whispered next to him as they both took in the scene that
could have been staged for a horror movie yet existed in real life. “Fuck
fuck fuck!”
His ragged breath rang the alarm bells in Liv’s head as Knox clutched at
his chest, bleeding all over his white T-shirt.
 It was the push Liv needed to get back to reality. He was a doer, not a
thinker, and right now, the urge to help Knox was the one thing keeping him
from falling apart.
“It’s okay. Sit down,” he said, recognizing the telltale way his friend’s
breath shallowed.
Knox only clenched his fist tighter, sending fresh blood to drizzle out of
the wound on his forearm. “I’m not sitting down! We’re fucked, Liv!
Fucked. He’s dead, and I’m going to prison like my fucking dad!”
Something Knox always said he wouldn’t do. He couldn’t do.
The distraught look in his blue eyes made Liv frantic with the need to
solve this problem.
“Are you high? You’re not going to prison. You’ve done nothing wrong. I
was the one who pushed him,” he mumbled as the reality of what that
meant flooded his mind. People spent long years away for less serious
transgressions. He was utterly fucked, and still, all he wanted to focus on
was Knox, who seemed a little pale in the glow of the lamp. “Will you sit?
You’re bleeding.”
Knox’s gaze zeroed in on the wound, and he let out a choked laugh.
“See? My DNA is all over this shit already!” But one more pained grunt
later, he swayed to the side.
Liv wouldn’t let him anywhere near the pit, and Knox finally sat down.
“Your meds,” Liv mumbled and pushed his hand down the front pocket
of Knox’s pants, finding the little bottle. He shoved it into his friend’s hand
and placed his palm on his chest. The erratic pounding under his breast
bone made Liv’s hair stand up, and he rubbed Knox’s back as he dry-
swallowed a pill.
Fuck. Liv had known Vlad was bad news. Knox should have never
started working for the bastard. For someone like him, working long hours
at a construction site wasn't ideal even if his boss had been an angel. But no.
Knox was stubborn. Overestimated his capabilities and ignored the heart
condition he’d been born with.
Wavy blond hair that got loose from the short ponytail now stuck to his
sweaty cheeks and forehead as denim blue eyes glanced at Liv, hooded,
soulful, with lashes for days. He was Liv’s best friend, and the person who
made every single day more bearable. But sometimes Liv wished Knox had
been born somewhere else, to parents who cared for him, and who could
have given him a better life. Somewhere where he didn’t have to struggle so
much.
“You’ll be okay,” Liv reassured him and pulled off his jean jacket to
remove the T-shirt he’d put on before leaving home. It had come straight
from the wash and was as clean as it could be. “Give me your arm.”
Defeated, Knox extended his arm to Liv. While ugly, the wound was
shallow. “You shouldn’t have been here,” he mumbled, staring into the pit,
but at least his breathing was leveling out.
Liv swallowed hard as he wrapped the fabric around Knox’s forearm. He
suddenly got a flashback to years ago, when Knox had gotten into a fight
with boys who tried to bully him over an arrhythmia attack he’d suffered in
school. Back then Liv and Knox hadn’t managed to fight off the older kids
and had to lick each other’s wounds just like this. Because who could they
talk to, if not to each other? None of their parents cared.
“And what would have happened then, huh?”
Knox rubbed his eyes with the ball of his palm. “I don’t know. Maybe he
would have beat the shit out of me. At least you wouldn’t have been
involved.” He took a deep breath and bit the inside of his cheek so hard Liv
could see it. A technique he’d confessed his dad had taught him so he
wouldn’t “be a cry-baby”.
And if there was someone who deserved death more than Vlad, it was
Knox’s bastard of a father. But he’d been put away for twenty-five years, so
it wasn’t like Liv could reach him.
Unless…
Fuck.
“It’s fine. At least you’re safe now,” Liv muttered, sucking in cool air and
refusing to acknowledge the dead body. He wanted to pretend it wasn’t
there for a while longer.
He tied his T-shirt around Knox’s forearm, struggling to think clearly
when he realized that had Vlad cut in two inches farther, Knox might have
bled out before Liv even got to them.
“I’m not safe! Neither of us is.” Knox’s voice broke when he pointed
toward the corpse. “We’re fucked. I should have known I won’t amount to
nothing.”
Liv swallowed and looked toward the pit. It was too deep for him to see
the body from his current position, but he knew it was there, and that was
enough.
 “I should turn myself in. Maybe then… they’ll believe it was in self-
defense,” he said, though deep in his heart he knew that wouldn’t happen.
Guys like him never got a second chance. Not guys from where he lived.
Knox seemed to startle awake, and his eyes sharpened when he glanced at
Liv. He grabbed his jaw. “I’ve had many reasons to hate you lately, but this
ain’t one. We’re in this together, and you’re not turning yourself in. We’ll
do… something.”
The warm touch made Liv’s skin tingle. “No?”
“No.” Knox took a shivery breath that tickled Liv’s skin and smelled of
blood. “If we go down, we’ll go down together. Who’s gonna protect your
ass in prison otherwise, huh?” He patted Liv’s cheek and pulled away, but
Liv shook his head.
Knox could not go to prison. He might be a proficient fighter, but he had
a disability that sometimes made him faint or dizzy. A man could not appear
weak in the can, especially not with a face as pretty as Knox’s.
“No. I pushed him, and if someone does go down for it, it’s gonna be me.
End of story.”
“Let’s at least fucking try, okay? We’re fucked either way. No one will
believe us this was an accident. But Vladdy was a piece of shit. Everyone
knows this. Didn’t he have loan sharks on his ass? It’s probably why he
didn’t want to pay me.” Knox took a deep breath, which hopefully calmed
his racing heart a little. “We could take the body and cover the bars he fell
on with cement. Hide the blood.”
Wow. They were seriously doing this.
“There’s just one problem,” Liv mumbled and used the side of his hand to
wipe blood off Knox’s mouth. He already knew it would not win him
Knox’s approval, but that was no longer important. “Amanda knows you
were here, and that I went to pick you up. If he disappears, we’ll be the
prime suspects.”
Knox stayed silent for a long moment. “Fuck! You just had to tell her my
car broke down? So I look like a loser?”
Liv bit the inside of his cheek. “Come on, Knox. Not this again. She
didn’t respect you, so why are you so fucking hung up on her?”
“You wouldn’t understand, because you’ve got girls lining up to suck
your dick. You know what? It doesn’t matter now. We’ve got much bigger
problems. Should we… disappear too?” He gave Liv an uncertain glance.
As if Liv held all the answers. “I’ve got nothing on me. A change of clothes,
my wallet, some meds.”
In another life, his delicate features could have landed him modeling jobs,
but in this one, Knox had been told they made him look like a girl even
though no girls Liv knew had sharp blond scruff nor a jawline as strong as
his. And regardless of what Knox claimed, girls loved him. It was keeping
them at his side Knox had trouble with.
But he was right, none of it mattered now.
“We can get by. Make a detour to pick up the rest of your prescription
from home, and then start fresh somewhere else. Just like we planned,” Liv
said softly.
He could almost see the cogs turn in Knox’s head as he considered his
answer. He licked some blood off his lips. “Go off-grid?”
Liv rose to his feet and took a deep breath before looking at the body.
With Knox now out of danger, his head spun with all the ways he could
have acted instead of pushing Vlad to his death, but there was no way to
turn back time.
“Let them think we died with him.”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 4

Knox

THE BOTTLE OF CHEAP vodka Liv kept in his car for emergencies had
been a godsend, because Knox couldn’t have possibly dealt with this shit
sober.
They’d had to pull Vladdy’s dead body off the steel bars while blood
gushed on their skin and clothes, fish in his pants for car keys, and then take
him to his vehicle. And on top of that, Liv insisted on suturing and dressing
Knox’s wound before they did any of that, using the building site’s first aid
kit. He would have left his fingerprints all over the place too, if Knox hadn’t
reminded him of it, and since neither of them had any gloves, he ended up
having to search the site office with two plastic bags on his hands.
And while the process of cleaning and then closing the wound to their
best abilities hurt, it was preferable to what came next.
A part of Knox was relieved when he saw the back of Vladdy’s car
disappear underwater in a flurry of air bubbles. The slopes of brown rock
and the reservoir they encompassed would guard their secret forever.
Liv took a deep breath and stood on the edge of the cliff overlooking the
artificial lake. The night was bright enough for Knox to see the faded
American flag at the back of his frayed denim jacket, but for once, the
familiar view did not feel reassuring. The stars above bore witness to their
crime, and as reprehensible as Vlad had been, the law would chase his
killers indiscriminately. They were both fucked.
At least the alcoholic buzz made reality blur a little. “Is there really no
way around it?” Knox asked, looking back at the iridescent car. He put his
bloodied work clothes inside after changing into his regular outfit. But
wearing a simple set of jeans and a hoodie didn’t make this night feel any
less surreal.
Liv let out a grunt and turned on his heel to approach his baby. Their
baby, which had taken so many hours of work and so much of their money
to polish, and they hadn’t even brought it to perfection yet by changing the
upholstery to lime green leather.
He faced the Subaru and placed both his hands on the hood before
bending down to rest his cheek on it too. “She’s registered to my name and
quite eye-catching. If we’re to do this, she needs to go too.”
Knox approached the car from the other side and stroked the roof.
So many memories were attached to it. So many arguments over how to
upgrade this vehicle, so many ecstatic moments when a new part worked, or
when they broke another speed record. With Liv in the driver’s seat, Knox
was never afraid that they’d crash. Which might have been stupid, since Liv
was a reckless driver, but if Knox were to die, he might as well go with Liv.
So yeah, they’d be going off grid together in an attempt to outrun any
police inquiry into Vladdy’s whereabouts. It would kind of be as if they
died together. Liv might have been the one to deliver the final push to Vlad,
but this murder was on both their hands.
“Is it bad that I feel much sadder about having to push her down the cliff
than about Vlad?” Knox whispered, not looking up at Liv, who stroked the
iridescent skin of their baby with a deep exhale.
“No. He was a shithead to everyone around him, and she treated us
right,” he said and peeled himself away to breathe in the earthy aroma of
the desert around them.
They’d already pulled out a blanket from the trunk and packed a few
useful items into a backpack, but it was time to say goodbye.
Knox kissed the roof and backed away too. “I’ll miss you,” he whispered,
but then took his place at the back of the car to push. He couldn’t believe he
was killing their pride and joy, but at the end of the day, she was a piece of
metal, and now was her chance to save their future.
 Liv joined him as soon as the Subaru was in neutral, and after a few
moments of pushing, she dove off the cliff and into the waters. Initially, it
seemed Liv would refuse to approach the edge this time, as if watching his
baby drown was too much to bear, but in the end he shook his head and
peeked at the water below.
Knox pulled him in for a bear hug, the animosity of the past week
forgotten in the face of shared sadness. “We’ve got this. We’ll go far away
and work things out over time. Maybe this is the push we needed.”
“Yeah. Maybe,” Liv muttered, facing the shrubs peppering the descent
from the cliff. It was too dark to recognize particular plants, but their herby
scent was soothing Knox’s heart. The smell of Liv’s lemony cologne mixed
with his sweat was pure comfort. Familiar. Very much unlike the stench of
Vladdy’s death.
Knox pulled away, not wanting to make the long hug weird. He needed to
be strong if they were to successfully get away.
Neither of them had much in their wallets, and the amount of cash in
Vladdy’s had proved underwhelming, but they had each other and enough
street smarts to get by—
Knox met Liv’s gaze, struck by a realization that might really thwart their
plans. “My meds. We forgot to go fetch them from our trailer. Fuck! It’s not
like we can call a fucking Uber after all this.” So much for street smarts.
The road could be reached on foot, but if they hitchhiked, someone would
remember their faces and—
“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!”
Liv dragged his hands down his face and pushed the tip of his tongue at
the diastema between his two front teeth. Knox always thought it looked
kind of cute on him, and so did all the girls who fell for Liv’s masculine
charm and roguish smiles. Most of his upper body was tattooed, with black
and white thorny roses emerging onto his neck from a pulpy portrait of a
zombified horse taking up most of his back. His chest was covered with
colorful hot rods, and his arms featured many random images, some of
which were better than others.
Not that it mattered on a man as hot as Liv. Even Knox thought the RIDE
FAST inked on his knuckles was the epitome of sexy. It would have been
lame on Knox, yet somehow made Liv look even more badass. Anyway,
this was the worst possible moment to compare himself to his best friend.
 “Uh… yeah, we should have gone earlier, but I fucking panicked. Then
again, Amanda was there when I left and so horny she might have stayed up
waiting for me,” Liv mumbled, stroking his short crop.
Knox froze, staring at him, then took a step back in case he felt the urge
to push Liv into that goddamn lake. “Are you fucking kidding me? You left
her there? So I’d come home after a night of work to see her cheating face?
What is wrong with you?” He raised his voice with every question, boiling
with unresolved fury.
Liv scowled and spread his arms. “Well, she wouldn’t leave me alone and
even hid my car keys! That woman's like a cat in heat.”
“Didn’t you fuck her just yesterday?”
Liv’s brows lowered, and he stared at Knox as if he’d overheard him.
“So? She’s terrible overall but great in bed.”
Knox couldn’t believe this shit. “She’s hornier than a rabbit in spring. I
think she’s a sex addict or something.”
Liv let out a short laugh, as if Knox’s comment lightened his mood
despite this being such a somber night. He moved to walk downhill,
heading for the road. “I wouldn’t go that far. But even if she were, who
wouldn't want a pretty girl gagging for their dick all the freaking time?”
Just thinking about it felt tedious. “Yeah, sure, but too much is too much.
Like, how many times a week can you fuck?” Knox pushed his hands into
his pockets as he walked alongside Liv with a storm in his heart. He was
stuck wearing someone’s old jacket from the construction site’s Lost &
Found, because he’d left the house when it had been much warmer.
Liv snorted, meeting his gaze. In the blue glow of the sky, his smiley
features looked way smoother than they did during the day, as if the night
took away the fine lines of fatigue and minor scarring.
“In the first month after getting together? Like… twice a day? Maybe
three if she’s up for it in the morning.”
Knox stopped walking so abruptly he kicked dirt into the air. “What the
actual fuck? Once a week is enough. Normal.”
“Shut up,” Liv mumbled, letting his hands drop. “Do you like… not
enjoy fucking or something?”
A sudden burst of anger made Knox push Liv’s chest. His mind raced as
if he couldn’t comprehend this difference between them. Sure, he’d been
aware that Liv was a dog and fucked around a lot, but he never pondered
how much a lot was, and this confrontation with reality made him feel
painfully inadequate.
“Fuck off! Of course I like to fuck! I just don’t make it my entire
personality!” he lashed out, desperate to pull the burning hot brand of
shame off his neck.
But Liv wasn’t affected by the insult and cocked his head, staring at him
with the curiosity of a child who just found out the Earth wasn’t flat.
“And did you say once a week is normal? With a new girl you’re into?
Can’t say I’m surprised Amanda and you weren’t a good match.”
Fury boiled inside Knox, all the way up to his throat. It made his fresh
wound throb with pain, and his fucked-up heart rattle faster. “So you stole
her just because you could! Because you were horny at the moment! Some
of us can actually control themselves!” he yelled and pushed Liv again. And
again… And again, for good measure.
Liv had the audacity to roll his eyes. “You can’t steal a grown person. But
I did fuck her because you refused to believe me when I told you she was
sleeping around with a bunch of guys!”
“She was not!” Knox didn’t even think, too blinded by rage. He threw a
punch at Liv’s face, but he must have drank too much, because Liv
managed to lean back a fraction of a second before Knox’s fist could have
landed.
“You still don’t believe me? I literally saw her getting railed behind
Akeem’s trailer when you were asleep two weeks back,” Liv said,
stumbling down the hill and waving his arms to regain balance.
A rhythmic buzz filled the air, but while a part of Knox worried his heart
was acting up again, the dizziness wasn’t coming back, so he ignored it.
Knox shook his head, following Liv like a bulldozer. “So what? Are you
saying it’s all my fault, because I didn’t give her enough? Fuck you!”
“That is not what I’m saying,” Liv said hurriedly as little rocks made him
roll down faster. “She shouldn’t be doing any of that behind your back. But
if this is how you feel about all the girls you’ve been with then maybe—”
Knox pushed him again. “Maybe what?” he roared as the background
hum grew in volume. If Liv was implying what Knox thought he was, he
had another punch coming.
“No need to get so damn agitated. You wouldn’t be the first guy who just
isn’t that into girls, man,” Liv said, meeting his gaze like the snake he
turned out to be.
 “Of course I’m into girls! What else would I fucking be into? And you
better think about your answer, ‘cause you’re on thin ice, Liver!” He now
regretted ever revealing the truth about his sex drive. He thought he could
be honest with Liv, but it looked like he’d guessed wrong.
Liv let out a brief cackle but kept his distance. “Dude, some people like
peaches, others like bananas. It’s not rocket science.”
Knox threw himself at Liv with his whole weight, pushing him to the
ground. He didn’t care that he lost balance in the process and landed in the
dirt too. Nothing could extinguish the flames roaring in his chest.
“Do I look fucking gay to you?” He straddled Liv to keep him down,
grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and slammed him to the ground. Liv
might be bigger than him, but Knox never let that stop him.
Liv scowled, massaging the back of his head. “Well, you definitely have
the sensitivity of a landmine.”
‘Fight back! Fight me!’, all of Knox’s insides screamed. He couldn’t keep
beating Liv if Liv didn’t push back. And he wanted this fight. Needed it.
So he just shook Liv for now.
“You’d be fucking sensitive too if the bastard who stole your girl
suggested you like dick!”
Liv snorted, but his lips twisted into an ugly snarl. “Stole? She literally
grabbed my dick by herself, and still you can’t fucking see that. And for
someone not into dick, you sure like sitting on one,” Liv said, pushing his
hips up to lift Knox.
Knox’s eyes went wide as he understood their position, his spread legs,
Liv’s cock resting right under him. He scrambled off so fast he fell over into
the dirt, burning from the touch.
Confused. Offended. Upset.
Feelings of wrongness tumbled inside him as his tongue-brain connection
malfunctioned and kept him from finding an appropriate clap back.
Liv sat up, shaking off excess dirt, and pinned Knox with his dark gaze.
“Look… I’m not trying to be offensive. People like different things. It
wouldn’t matter to me,” he said in a voice that sounded earnest but was
surely yet another trap.
Knox wasn’t gay.
What the fuck even?
He’d had girlfriends since teenagerhood.
He jerked off to normal porn.
 He was into kickboxing and fast cars.
For Liv to even suggest something like that was outrageous. The fact that
he wasn’t doing it to prank Knox made it worse.
“Next time I’ll fuck my girlfriend in front of you so you can see how not-
gay I am,” he snarled, but Liv watching him have sex was definitely more
gay, not less. And worse yet, imagining that situation made his heart pump
faster.
Liv grinned, showing off the large teeth that somehow made him even
more charming. “Might as well join in while I’m there.”
Knox didn’t have the energy to stand so he just stayed in the dirt with his
head hung low. Maybe he watched too much porn, and that was why
imagining Liv with Amanda felt kinda hot? “I hate you so much right now.”
Liv slapped his arm. “And I love you as I always do. She doesn’t matter.
Nor any other girl,” he said softly, as if he somehow sensed the
vulnerability of Knox’s state. “It’s just you and me now.”
Knox got up, desperate to change the subject, to focus on the daunting
reality where they were on the run after killing a man, because even that
was better than fighting Liv over all the messed-up shit he was suggesting.
“What’s that noise?” he asked, looking around when the hum he’d
noticed earlier got even louder.
One side of the sky remained dark, with visible stars, but the other half
was getting the pink glow of a new dawn. And that’s where Knox spotted a
bright light moving along the train track.
“Fuck me,” Liv muttered, shooting to his feet. “This is it! Our ticket out.”
Knox was right behind him when Liv sprinted for the train. It slowed as it
approached a curve in its path, but it wouldn’t stop. If they wanted to hop
on, they had to be quick.
“I’m right behind you!” Knox yelled over the loud rattle of steel wheels.
The railway here hadn’t carried passengers for a long time, but the endless
trail of big, windowless cars confirmed that this was a freight train. The
closer they got to it, the more the ground thudded under the weight of this
enormous snake. Liv was several paces ahead as he sprinted toward the
passing railcars like a man possessed, changing course when they both
spotted one that had an opening in its side.
The air was dry in Knox’s throat, and the speed made his head feel light,
but he fought through it like he always did and pretended running didn’t
affect him at all. What good would it do to make people pity him and see
him as more of a failure?
Liv should have dropped him like a hot potato long ago.
It was a thought that penetrated Knox’s mind as he choked his lungs out,
watching Liv grab the handle of the open door for leverage and pull himself
into the compartment. Liv could disappear. Leave Knox and tonight’s
nightmares behind. Start anew without anyone knowing his secret.
Knox’s chest compressed even more as sheer desperation fueled his
muscles. He didn’t want to be left behind. He didn’t want to lose Liv.
“Liv!” he yelled despite having painfully little air to spare. Now that he
was running parallel to the massive train, his legs were starting to give up,
and a sense of panic settled in his chest, but Liv stuck his head right out,
and then his arm.
“Take my hand!”
Knox reached out, running as if he were chased by armored police vans,
and yet he could barely brush his fingers against Liv’s. They only had so
much time on the bend. Once the train sped up, Knox would stand no
chance.
Liv must have realized that, because he leaned farther out like some
circus contortionist, standing with half his foot on the protruding step below
the door. He held on to the handle with one hand, and grabbed Knox’s wrist
with the other.
Their eyes locked as the thrumming of wheels picked up the tiniest bit,
and Liv spoke over the noise, “One. Two. Three,” he said and pulled just as
Knox leaped up.
Knox’s knee hit the edge of the open compartment, and when Liv rolled
in, his weight pulled Knox all the way inside. They caught their breaths
surrounded by wooden crates that judged them in silence.
Knox patted the dusty floor in disbelief, but then let out a manic laugh,
resting his head on Liv’s chest. It thudded with a furious heartbeat.
“We’re in!”
Liv rubbed the back of his head, resting as the floor shook under them,
and the train sped up. “Yeah. Let’s keep our heads down. It’s going up
north.”
Knox groaned, for once not fighting the comforting touch. He was too
tired. “So much for our dream of Mexico. It’s gonna be fucking cold, isn’t
it?”
 Liv moved his hand down to Knox’s back. “We’ll be fine. It’s not winter
yet. We’ll just have to huddle up together.”
Typical Liv, always looking on the bright side of things.
Knox sighed. “We do have your fuck blanket. It’s in my backpack.”
“Ooh, good memories will keep us warm,” Liv said with a chuckle, but
for now Knox didn’t want to consider whether the thing had ever been
washed.
For now, he would just enjoy what they had.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 5

Liv

IT WAS FUCKING COLD, and the fuck blanket, while a covering, hadn't
kept them sufficiently warm last night. The constant drizzle tapping on the
car roof not only didn’t help them stop shivering, but also turned the
landscape outside into faded gray mush. Liv saw nothing of note about any
of the little towns, woodlands, and fields they passed by, but one thing was
certain.
They were heading north all right, because this definitely wasn’t
California.
At some point, they’d been joined by an old dude who claimed to have
train-hopped for the past fifty years. Whether he just wanted the railcar to
himself or genuinely tried to help, he’d suggested they change to a different
train in the middle of the night. Since neither Liv nor Knox felt comfortable
sleeping with the stranger around, they chose to follow his suggestion.
On the upside, the stopover offered them a chance to break into a
drugstore with very poor locks and steal nearly the whole supply of Knox’s
meds, along with T-shirts advertising a blood drive from two years ago. The
design they featured was pixelated, as if whoever ordered them hadn’t paid
attention to image resolution requirements when submitting the picture for
printing, but the ugly tops offered a chance to change out of dirty clothes.
And neither Liv nor Knox could afford to be fussy.
 Now that their second train neared its final destination, the question was:
should they risk showing their faces at the station? Maybe it would be safer
to disembark someplace more discreet?
They were both still coming to terms with their new position in life.
Homeless, with barely a few dollars to their names, they couldn’t plan
beyond the next few hours. Following their drugstore raid, which didn’t
include trying to break into the safe, as that felt far too risky, they chose to
buy themselves a warm meal. But the pleasant fullness of its aftermath was
now only a memory.
“That burger was one of the best I ever had,” Knox mused, looking out of
their train car with longing painted all over his face. “The fries were
perfectly crispy on the outside and fluffy inside,” he muttered, hugging his
knees to his chest to conserve warmth.
Liv sighed. His stomach felt so empty his head wasn’t working quite right
anymore, but all that was left from the stolen provisions was a single
protein bar, and he wanted to save it for a time of utter desperation.
“Loved that spice they used on them. It wasn’t just salt. It had some kind
of flavor. Almost like… chicken soup concentrate, or something.”
A small smile pulled at Knox’s lips, and he rested his cheek on his knees.
“And the ketchup they came with wasn’t watery at all. Thick, tart, but a
little sweet. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was homemade.” He glanced out
again when the train started slowing.
Liv groaned, staring out into the rain. They’d gotten rid of their phones,
so he didn't know the time, but it had already been getting dark when they
passed the last station. “I think we’re nearing the last stop.”
“We shouldn't be seen there,” Knox said, mirroring Liv’s own thoughts.
He pointed outside. “Look there, in the valley, beyond the trees. There’s like
old cars, a shed? No lights. Might be good shelter for the night.”
Liv squinted, grinning when he noticed the blurry shapes. “That’s our
chance,” he agreed, putting on the backpack containing all of their
belongings. “Careful.”
“I’ll be fine. I think the wound on my forearm is healing well. Just hurts
like a motherfucker.”
The undercurrent of their fight over Amanda kept nagging at them both,
but they pretended that wasn’t the case. If Liv could have his way, he would
erase it from his mind altogether. They had bigger fish to fry than petty
jealousies and Knox’s weird-ass sex rationing.
 “I’m off!” Liv said and jumped out of the railcar.
The small rocks making up the side of the track were disturbed by his
sudden landing, but he managed to keep his balance. Within seconds, water
dripped down his face, and his denim jacket started soaking in the rain. But
there was no alternative to walking, so he turned and watched Knox follow
his lead as the train continued its lazy glide through the woodland. He
somehow managed to make the jump much more graceful, but this wasn’t a
gymnastics championship and what mattered to Liv was that he didn’t break
anything.
“My jacket’s waterproof. I’ll take it off and we can both put it over our
heads,” Knox said, already unzipping the front.
Liv shook his head. “Nah, my hair’s so short it’ll dry the moment I'm
under a roof.” He took a step away from the passing train, in the direction
of the structures they’d seen earlier. His muscles felt unusually weak, but
when he thought about the lone protein bar waiting in the backpack, he
figured he might as well enjoy it once they were in a dry place.
“We don’t know where we are, do we?” Knox asked. At least when they
walked between the trees, leaves stopped some of the rain from falling on
their heads.
Liv shivered in the jacket that already felt like armor made of ice.
“Dunno. Canada? That’s an awful lot of trees,” he said, leading the way.
“I guess we’ll know by the accents eventually?” Knox mused without
much enthusiasm. “Don’t they have signs in both English and French?”
“Never been past Nevada,” Liv said. Fatigue encouraged him to sit down.
But if he listened to his instincts, getting up again would have been even
harder, so he followed Knox toward… whatever they’d spotted from the
train, while the leaky roof of leaves drummed over their heads.
Knox didn't answer, walking in silence with his face hidden under the
hood and his shoulders hunched. Liv estimated it would take them at least
twenty minutes to reach the potential shelter. Last night had not only been
cold and uncomfortable, but they had also taken turns sleeping, so they
wouldn’t end up robbed of the very few possessions they did still have.
Maybe this place would offer them a bit more comfort.
When Liv saw Knox raise his hand to his face a few times, his body
stiffened with worry. The last thing they needed now was either of them
catching a cold.
 Unable to stand the uncertainty any longer, he cleared his throat and
spoke. “You okay?”
He braced himself for an explosion of bad temper as silence stretched
between them like a string of fatty pizza cheese. Knox had the tendency to
get into his own head too much, and often became his own worst enemy.
In the end, Knox let out a shivery breath and rubbed his face again. “I’m
just so damn hungry. We’ve got nothing left, and what are we gonna eat
until tomorrow? Bark? Rusted cars?” he asked, sniffing.
Shit. This was bad. Liv’s stomach pressed to his spine, painfully empty,
but he would be alright if he waited a few more hours. A healthy person
could survive a month without food, and he’d had a burger and fries less
than a day ago.
But Knox wasn’t healthy. He lived with a serious condition, and who the
fuck knew how his heart would react to prolonged hunger?
Liv’s body shivered in warning, but he took off the backpack and
unzipped it. “No, we still have two protein bars,” he lied, because if he told
Knox the truth, the proud bastard would insist on sharing the food. “You
want yours?”
Knox’s big blue eyes zeroed in on him as if he’d just found out the ordeal
of the past few days had only been a bad dream. “Oh, God! Fuck yes! I
thought we were out.” He looked so genuinely happy when he took the food
that Liv almost forgot his own hunger. The bar wasn’t big, but it would tide
Knox over until morning.
Liv was two years older than Knox, which didn’t seem like much, but
when they’d first met, Knox had been fourteen and much skinnier than he
was now. And Liv still felt a bit responsible for him. Knox would kill him if
he voiced that sentiment out loud, but while Liv’s stomach protested with a
silent grumble, it brought him peace to see Knox eat.
He would be all right for another night, and maybe come morning, they
could find some real food.
“Don’t eat too fast, it’ll last you longer.”
Knox raised his empty hands. “Too late. All gone,” he said with his
mouth full. At least his eyes regained some of their usual spark. They had
dimmed since Liv had first hooked up with Amanda, and while Liv still
thought Knox deserved someone better, he did feel guilty over how things
had gone down. The end of that relationship was better for everyone
involved, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t acted like an ass by taking away
Knox’s choice.
“Lots of room in that mouth of yours.”
“I’ve got cheeks like a hamster,” Knox said and laughed. “When I was
fifteen, my dad got obsessed with me bulking, because he claimed that if I
didn’t start growing, I’d end up small. You learn to eat fast when you have
to go through three chicken breasts for dinner. He didn’t even put salt on
them, and they tasted disgusting. But I’d eat one now.”
Liv’s smile faltered. “No wonder they put him away. Unsalted fucking
chicken breast. Child abuse.”
“It was most definitely a crime against humanity. Only your monstrosity
of a pie could compete. Remember? We must have been still in school, and
you wanted to impress a girl. Rebecca or something? You tried to bake her a
pie, but mistakenly added salt to the crust instead of sugar. And you
couldn’t afford strawberries, so you made the filling out of zucchini and
sugar, because you saw someone adding beetroot to chocolate cake dough
on TV and figured you could make it work. That thing came out so fucking
ugly too.”
Liv grinned, speeding up in hope they’d soon reach someplace dry.
“That’s why I never baked another pie. But you did eat a whole slice. That
was impressive, even though you puked right after.”
Knox shook his head with a smile despite the chill in the air and the rain
falling on their heads. “What can I say? I can’t resist a good dare. And you
got a slice of her cherry anyway, so it all ended well.”
Liv grinned. “Yeah, I did. In a way.”
Knox raised his eyebrows before jumping over a fallen tree. “No! She
wasn’t a virgin? I remember her making a big deal out of claiming she was.
Her parents were Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
Liv sniggered and took a few steps ahead, walking backwards so he could
see Knox’s face. “I suppose you’ll never see her again, so I can tell you.
She was horny but obsessed with being ‘untouched’ until her wedding, so
we did anal instead.”
Knox whistled. “I never—I’m gonna tell you, but don’t make me feel
weird about it like the last time I told you shit! I never did anal, ‘cause I’m
freaked out I’d hurt the girl.”
Aww.
 Liv grinned, but when Knox’s shoulders rose, and his lips thinned, it was
time to stop him from getting all worked up. “Not everyone likes the same
thing. Lots of ways to have sex. However, if you ever wanted to try, you
know who to call—” He stalled because Knox seemed even angrier now.
“Wrong way to put it. What I mean is that I know my way. Around ass. One
of my exes recommended me to a couple of friends who were nervous
about trying with no strings, that’s how good I am at it.”
He loved the way Knox’s lips parted. “She did not! What?”
Liv tried to bow, but his heel hit something, and he would have fallen
over if Knox hadn’t dashed forward to grab his hand. “Thanks. Er… yeah,
I’m not lying. I’m good at making them relax. That’s the key to all good
sex.”
Knox frowned, as if he were thinking that over. “You’re always so chill.
But for me it can be… I don’t know, stressful. A bit. Like, it’s hot and
everything, but there’s all those expectations of what I should do, and how
to act, and how much she’s liking it, and if she came yet. I’m probably
overthinking it.”
Liv hummed, tempted to pinch Knox’s scruffy cheek. Was that why he
was avoiding sex? “You have to talk to them and look for cues. It’s not
rocket science once you get on with the program.”
Knox nodded, a bit absentmindedly, but then grabbed Liv’s shoulder.
Only then Liv understood he almost walked into a fence. It was just dark
wire stretched between posts, but its height dwarfed them both. With the
sun almost completely down, Liv’s eyes were straining to see anything, but
he was still surprised that he’d missed something so big and wide.
“Fuck. It couldn’t be that easy, could it? I’ll get the flashlight. Let’s see if
it’s even worth trying to get in.”
Liv licked rainwater off his lip and stood with his back to the fence post,
using it for leverage while he offered him a lift of entwined hands. “Go on.”
“Yeah? You don’t even wanna check?”
Liv clucked. “Chicken?”
Knox rolled his eyes, already climbing on the cradle of Liv's fingers. “I
ate your burnt zucchini pie on a dare. Climbing over this fence is nothing.”
“See if it’s safe, but this place is our best bet,” Liv yelled over the
intensifying rain. He so fucking needed a roof over his head. A bit of
warmth. A chance to lie down and doze off for a bit.
 Knox climbed to the other side with his usual agility, and brought over
several crates. From there, it took just a few moments for him to climb on
top and help Liv join him. As they both turned their backs on the fence, the
heaps of scrap mounting everywhere the eye could see told them what this
place was.
“Let’s check if it’s safe, and then we can find some shed, an abandoned
car, or even create some shelter if need be. We didn’t survive the last two
days to die of hypothermia,” Knox said once they faced wet mountains of
fridges and rusty cars.
How big was this place? Even with the rain and darkness hiding
everything behind a dusky veil, the fence seemed to stretch endlessly in
both directions, and the massive junkyard located in the woods of bumfuck
nowhere had the energy of a post-nuclear wasteland. It might only appear
abandoned, but as long as they could shelter here until tomorrow, Liv was
sold.
At least until a beam of light flashed somewhere ahead, and they both
ducked. This place wasn’t so forgotten after all.
Knox lowered their flashlight to the muddy ground and looked Liv’s way
as he switched it off. “Let’s check it out, just in case. It’s probably just
workers doing overtime, or something, and if we know where they are, we
can make sure to stay away. This place looks vast enough to find a spot
away from people.”
Liv nodded, and they moved along a narrow path between hills of scrap
metal, rubber, and electronics. The rain eased to a sprinkle, and then
stopped altogether while they followed the moving light. Once they got
close enough, it became clear the soft hum they’d been hearing in the
background wasn’t produced by rain but some kind of vehicle.
The day was not over, and despite the bit of illumination coming from the
night sky, it was getting more and more difficult to find paths through the
dead city of scrap. A stray piece of metal rattled somewhere to the side, but
Liv dismissed it as being the result of a bird or rat looking for food. He
strained his eyes as he leaned back to squeeze through a narrow path
between two towers made of rusty cars. Damp metal felt like ice through
his wet clothes, but with Knox following close behind and moving with
more ease due to his size, Liv did not want to hold him back.
He ducked as soon as he made it to the other side, because the light
they’d been following was right ahead, and no longer moving. Liv's heart
sped up, but his gaze wandered to the open back of a school bus standing
between them and the workers. The glow he and Knox had been chasing
invited them from the open space beyond the vehicle’s dashboard. He
gestured at Knox to follow him inside the damaged bus.
Watching their every move, they climbed in and near-crawled over the
grimy floor. Just as they were about to see what the workers were up to so
late, someone spoke, making Liv’s balls pull up to his body. Dude was
standing way too close for comfort, and Liv grabbed Knox, putting a hand
over his mouth in panic.
“You didn’t bring your dog? I actually think Hades might enjoy this.” A
young guy’s voice was followed by a cackle.
Dog. Of course those people had dogs here, because life always fucking
sucked! Thank fuck whoever the guy was talking to didn’t bring his mutt
along, because if they did, Liv and Knox would have been fucked. Knox’s
eyes went wide, and his mouth opened against Liv’s hand as he shook his
head.
They both peeked through the empty windscreen at the same time. The
bus faced a cleared area the size of a high school classroom, with a pickup
truck parked in front of a deep hole in the ground. Two men with massive
flashlights stood in front of the pit, one of them lowering a barrel inside to
join three others.
The guy who’d just spoken wore a black leather vest with patches over a
denim jacket. The other man, taller and with a hood covering his face, threw
a cigarette butt to the ground. “I wouldn’t trust him around acid. You have
to be careful with these things, Dex, it’s not a joke.”
“Acid?” Knox mouthed to Liv, wide-eyed.
Dex shrugged and faced the light as he turned to a duffel bag resting on
the ground. He had a bleached blond mohawk and youthful features that
betrayed he was about Liv’s age. Smiling, he pulled out a pair of long
yellow gloves. “But if you trained all your dogs to eat meat on command
—”
The other guy spread his arms wide. “What next? Maybe you and
Hammer should start a pig farm and call it Peppa’s Sausage Disposal?”
Dex started laughing as, to Liv’s growing confusion and dread, he
stepped into white overalls that zipped up from crotch to neck.
“Fuck,” Knox whispered in the tiniest voice. “This looks like some kind
of Breaking Bad shit. I think they’re making drugs here. We need to go.”
 Liv’s skull echoed with the drumming of his heartbeat, but he squeezed
Knox’s shoulder, wordlessly telling him to keep still, because if those really
were gang members, they would shoot intruders like rabid dogs and bury
them in the fucking ground.
Or toss them into a reservoir.
And no, the irony of it was not lost on Liv.
Knox met his gaze and, after exhaling once, offered him a nod. They
should wait until the coast was clear.
“Shane, bring over the first one, will you?” Dex asked, and his voice
sounded somewhat muffled, as if he were speaking through a face mask.
“I’ll get the acid.”
“On it,” the hooded man responded.
While both Liv and Knox had agreed to lay low and minimize the risk of
being discovered, when Shane cursed, Liv’s head popped up just enough for
him to see the hooded man dragging something. At first, in the deep
shadows created by the bright lights, it looked like a massive sack. But
when he changed course, and a limp arm came into view, Liv went rigid as
if his muscles turned to wood.
They were not making drugs.
Those people were out here to dissolve bodies. Like in a fucking movie.
Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire… They should have
stayed on the train a while longer. He was getting sick at the memory of the
body they themselves had dealt with days ago and couldn’t take his
panicked eyes off the dead man Shane was dragging toward the hole in the
ground. Those two guys acted as if this were nothing, when his restless
sleep was filled with nightmares about Vlad’s final moments, about the
stench of his pierced gut, about all the blood.
The memories of that bastard’s death nauseated him even now.
Knox’s head inched up right next to his, and Liv instantly felt the need to
make sure things did not escalate this time. He’d been the one to deliver
Vlad to Hell, and then talked Knox into getting on the train. For all he
remembered, even crossing into the junkyard might have been his idea.
If anything happened to Knox now, it would be on him.
“Do you think Frank would have let them live if they were gay too?” Dex
asked, stepping closer to the pit in a complete biohazard getup. He even had
a mask and goggles when he turned to reveal a large canister in his hands.
 Shane groaned, shaking his head as he jumped into the pit, no doubt to
stuff the body into one of the barrels. “What is this about now? Why do you
have to always come up with those random questions? What next? Some
fucked up game of ‘would you rather’? I just wanna get this done and go
home. There’s still a long night ahead of us. But, for the record, he does
have a track record of picking up gay strays so… maybe?”
“I mean, it was stupid of those dudes to steal from the mob, but still… I’d
have fucked the blond one in my single days,” Dex said, lining up more
canisters of corrosive liquid before grabbing the dead body and helping
Shane maneuver it into the first barrel. “Is it cheating if it’s necrophilia?”
Liv was not particularly religious, but when he sensed Knox shivering
next to him, he started a silent prayer. They could not afford to get
discovered. The scent of mold, dirt, and rust overpowered Liv’s senses, but
they’d turn into rocks and stay still until the fucking psychos were gone.
Even if it took them the whole night. He didn’t need to sleep. Not anymore.
Not after what he’d witnessed here.
With a soft, shushing sound on his lips, he rubbed Knox’s arm, and then
placed his palm on Knox's chest, to make sure he didn’t need his meds.
While the heartbeat he faintly sensed was fast, it didn’t race at the
dangerous speed he was unfortunately familiar with.
Knox pushed deeper under Liv’s arm, and they stilled together, wet,
frightened, and lost so far away from home they couldn’t guess their
approximate location. Out here, they were each other’s only lifeline, only
family, and Liv would get Knox out of this fucking mess if it killed him.
Outside, Shane groaned, frustrated by his talkative… co-worker. “Oh, my
God! Not the fucking hypotheticals again! We don’t have all night. Okay,
Dex. Let’s do this and move on. If these guys were in a polyamorous gay
quadruple, Frank would have probably had a soft spot for them. And no, it’s
not cheating if it’s a dead body, unless they only become dead during the
fucking. Does that answer your questions?”
The loud laughter outside chilled Liv to the bone. If these two didn’t care
to be quiet, then this place had to be miles away from the nearest human
settlement. What if they did end up bringing a dog over and discovered that
two intruders had seen and heard their every move?
Liv and Knox couldn’t stay here and wait it out. But since those guys
were so busy with their conversation, this could be their chance to slip away
without being noticed.
 Knox’s hair smelled of their journey—sweat, rain, the cheap soap he’d
used to wash his hair in the sink of a public restroom during their brief train
change. When Liv breathed it all in, gathering the courage to move, he
remembered the dreariness of the past few days, but also the games they
played to kill time, all the conversations, and even the easy silence that
came with knowing someone as well as he knew Knox.
They would be all right.
They had to be.
He put his finger across his mouth, capturing Knox’s gaze, and pointed at
the open doors at the back of the bus. He focused on the buzz of the voices,
to make sure he and Knox only moved while the two maniacs were
distracted. Knox didn’t question him, just gave a short, determined nod.
Their survival depended on moving with the grace of two ballerinas and
the silence of a spider. Inch after painful inch, they approached their door to
freedom, but while the bus’s length provided a decent buffer between them
and the two cold-blooded killers who made Peppa Pig jokes over dead
bodies, they’d only be out of the woods once they left this godforsaken
place.
But did either of them know where the fucking fence was after navigating
the endless heaps of scrap, which all looked the same? That was a question
for the near future. For all Liv cared, they could stay hidden in some narrow
passage until morning.
He swallowed the bitter taste of fear as he stepped off the bus before
offering Knox his arm for support, just to make it easier on him.
Knox clutched his sweaty hand with his own and their eyes met in a silent
exchange filled with despair. But then Liv spotted movement to the side.
Above Knox’s head.
His gaze settled on the roof of an elongated shed revealed by the glow
coming from the death pit at the front of the bus.
He wasn’t ready for the sight that made him bite his tongue to keep in a
scream.
A man was crouched on the steel slope and stared right at them through
large goggles reflecting the nearby light. He was reminiscent of an ancient
warrior, with a spear pointing upwards and one hand resting between his
feet for balance. In the sparse light, Liv could only get the general shape of
him, but his insides shriveled at the sight of the spikes growing out of the
pauldrons on the stranger’s shoulders.
 For a few seconds of absolute stillness, Liv was starting to think the man
was some fucked up version of a scarecrow, a freaky sculpture, which in the
light of day couldn’t pass for a human, let alone frighten him.
But then the junkyard ninja creep reached to his belt.
Knox pulled on Liv’s arm as soon as the man put a horn against his
mouth and blew, sending a deep, bone-chilling roar through the air.
Liv’s hand squeezed Knox’s, and he broke into a run, no longer trying to
creep around but instead heading for the gravel road he spotted between a
pile of three cars and the random scrap they’d passed earlier. Metal cried
out as they stepped on it without care and bolted at full speed.
Now that they had left the murderers and their high-beam flashlights
behind, the path ahead was so dark Liv could barely see it. Still, there were
lots of places where he and Knox might hide. If he could only spot a clear
passage off of the road, they could—
The headlights of a roaring truck revealed the uneven road under their
feet, turning the dusky gray of the world into a scenery of high contrast,
where Knox and Liv both had shadows the size of streetlamps. The vehicle
stormed after them, noisily crunching gravel with its wheels and speeding
their way so fast Liv feared the men intended to run them over, but just as
he spotted a crevice that might offer shelter, a series from a machine gun
tore through the air and made Liv and Knox drop to the ground while dust
from the road spun around them in a gray cloud.
Despite the instinct to stay down, Liv tried to crawl away on all fours.
But when he looked back to make sure Knox was following him, he saw
him on his knees and with both hands up. The menace with the spear stood
behind him, pointing his weapon at Knox’s back as if he were about to
harpoon him.
“Go! Fucking go!” Knox yelled as the truck stopped behind him with a
screech of tires.
Liv could have made it. Maybe.
But only if he were a different man, because the moment he saw his best
friend, the friend he shared everything with, so broken, with that fucker’s
spear at his nape, self-preservation became the last thing on his mind.
Like a wild animal ready to defend its mate, he charged at the crazy
bastard, grabbed the spear and shoved at it so hard the metal rod making up
the grip hit the masked madman in the goggles.
 He’d killed for Knox, and while it left him with nightmares, he would not
hesitate to do it again.
“No, you first! I’ll hold them off!” he yelled, wrestling the bastard for the
spear. The beastly guy rumbled under the leather mask, but before he could
have made good on his wordless threat, Knox grabbed his foot and toppled
him. They were both about to make a run for it when the truck doors opened
and someone cocked their gun even before stepping out of the vehicle.
“On the fucking ground! Now!” yelled a new voice as the mountain of a
man approached them, with the headlights glowing sharply behind him.
Liv sought out Knox’s gaze, and when he saw its blue shade dimming in
resignation, his chest ached as if the masked man had cut his friend open.
He wanted to touch his chest and check, but Knox laid in the dirt, making
Liv’s head spin with desperation he couldn’t contain.
This wasn’t where their story would end.
Could not be.
Instead of following the order, he kneeled right next to Knox's prone
body and covered it with his, grasping at the sole scrap of information he
had about those people. The only one that could prove of use anyway.
“We thought the place was abandoned, I swear. We got lost, it was
raining, and it was my idea to get into the junkyard. Please… don’t hurt my
boyfriend! He just followed me here.”
Knox looked up at him, but then his eyes rolled back as he went limp.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 6

Knox

REALITY WAS A BLUR of lights and darkness, but a splash of water to

the face brought Knox back into sharp focus. He spat, confused by what
was going on, but someone was holding him upright, and as soon as he tried
to speak, thick fingers stuck a pill into his mouth.
“Is he on drugs?” asked someone from farther away as Knox’s head
lolled from side to side. The powdery, bitter flavor was familiar, and when
he recognized the hand stroking his back as Liv’s, he didn’t question a thing
and swallowed before accepting a few gulps of water from a plastic bottle
offered straight to his lips.
“It’s perfectly legal medicine,” Liv said as the edges of Knox’s vision
came into focus. He hated this moment of transition after his blood pressure
dropped, and he closed his eyes, leaning on Liv, who sat next to him on a
cold floor, which felt like it was made of… metal?
The events that had led them here spun through Knox’s mind as if he’d
gotten kicked in the face. But they were still alive. And he got his meds. So
maybe Liv worked something out with—
“You two punks don’t know who you’re dealing with,” Shane’s voice
came like yet another punch, and when Knox looked up, his vision
returning to normal, he saw a tall, handsome man watching them from
behind steel bars.
 His short dark hair was messed up by the hood, which was now lowered,
and his forehead creased as he watched them scramble on the floor with a
cigarette dangling from the lips. He had a black eye and the crooked nose of
a boxer, but his eyes pierced the two of them with sharp attention.
“Look, man, we only saw lots of light before your Mad Max-loving
friend started chasing us. I have no idea what this is about,” Liv lied with
such conviction even Knox would have believed him.
Shane picked up their backpacks from the floor and blew smoke out
through his nose. “You should be glad I’m not the only one deciding what
to do with you two lovebirds,” he said in a tone that brought back the
memories of dead men and barrels. And acid.
Knox stared at him without understanding until it finally hit him.
Boyfriend.
Liv had called him his boyfriend.
What the actual fuck?
Yet Knox wouldn’t confront him until this goon left.
“Yeah, we just wanted to find a place to hide from the rain,” Knox
mumbled as he watched his medicine-stuffed backpack dangle in Shane’s
hand, out of reach. He glanced around and not only were he and Liv in a
cage, but there was another one on the other side of the room. Those people
were fucking psychos, and the two of them would never leave this place!
Shane gave them a crooked smile and winked. “Well, you found one.
You’ll be dry here. Get comfy, ‘cause it might be a while,” he said and
walked off.
He stepped out of the narrow interior, and it was only when he slid the
double doors shut that Knox realized they were inside a huge metal box. Or
a shipping container, which locked from the outside with a loud clang.
At least the fucker had left the sad little lightbulb by the entrance on
instead of burying them in the dark.
Next to Knox, Liv gave a low exhale reminiscent of an echo straight from
the pit of death and rested his back against the wall of thick steel. “At least
they didn’t kill us yet,” he whispered.
“Fuck!” Knox screamed out, jumping to his feet despite feeling dizzy.
“You should have ran when I told you! I could have held off that creepy
spear fucker.”
Liv stared at him from the floor, looking exhausted but whole. “I would
have never left you behind. It was always going to be you and me, right? Us
against the world. Now sit down, your meds are still kicking in.”
Knox hit his fist against his aching chest several times, to resolve some of
the discomfort he was feeling, and took deep breaths. He kicked the bars
too, but they wouldn’t budge. “I’m not sitting down in this death trap. Oh,
yeah, and now I’m your fucking boyfriend? What the fuck was that about?
Something you wanna tell me, Liv?” He scowled, pacing the cage and
already finding it far too small.
Liv’s eyes, brown as the whiskey Knox badly needed to drown himself
in, followed his every move. “Didn’t you hear what they said earlier? This
Frank guy has a soft spot for gay guys. It’s our only fucking chance!
Simmer down, will you?”
Knox shoved his fingers into his hair. He must have lost his hairband,
because the dirty blond strands were now all over the place in greasy
streaks. “What are you saying is our chance? Sucking dick to get out of
here? Or am I supposed to bend over as well?” Fury made his cheeks heat,
and the shame of fainting at such a pivotal moment was yet more fuel for
his rage.
Liv spread his long arms, hissing when his left hand smacked the bars. “If
it saves us from melting in acid, I’d blow all of them. Don’t want to, but
you do what you gotta do. By all means, sit back and enjoy the show!”
Knox rolled his eyes. Unbelievable. They were in some fucked up murder
container, and Liv was still making jokes. “Oh, yeah. Watching you suck
dick. Sight of my dreams. Don’t forget to lick their balls while you’re at it.”
Liv jumped to his feet, annoyingly tall and broad-shouldered in this small
space that smelled of fear and misery. “Maybe I will? Will that make up for
me fucking Amanda in your bed?”
Knox’s blood pressure skyrocketed, and he threw his fist without
thinking. Liv leaned back, but Knox acted on pure instinct, and used his
other hand to punch him so hard his teeth knocked together.
“You did not!” he roared. So maybe they’d never see Amanda again.
Maybe it didn’t matter. But there were rules everyone lived by, and Liv just
announced he’d broken another one.
“Fuck… you,” Liv muttered, grabbing his jaw and shoving Knox back
hard with the other. Damn, he was so strong even when not putting all of his
muscle into it. “Get the fuck over her. She’s the past. It’s you and me now,
and I’m gonna do whatever it takes to save us, whether you like it or not!”
 Knox huffed, squinting at Liv. The declaration made his heart get that bit
warmer, and he couldn't help it. “Until you betray me again?” he threw at
Liv, but it was a half-assed dig. He believed Liv would fight for both of
them, just like when he’d put his own body between Knox and the gun
without thinking twice. Like when he’d accidentally killed Vlad while
trying to keep Knox out of harm's way.
Liv's shoulders went slack as he watched Knox. “She had a great pussy,
and maybe I enjoyed trying to get you away from her too much, but I really
did it for your own good.”
Knox grabbed the bars and leaned his forehead against them, resigned to
his fate. “I don’t think she really liked me all that much.”
Liv’s sigh felt rough, and while a part of Knox burned with the shame of
it all and the need for proving himself, he didn’t have the strength to throw
any more punches. Liv was his single ally in this fucked up situation.
Something purred, echoing in the container, and it took Knox a full ten
seconds to realize it must have been Liv’s stomach.
Knox glanced at him and smirked. “You think they’ll give us the courtesy
of a last meal?”
Liv offered him a crooked smile and stuck his hand under his gravel-
blackened T-shirt to massage his stomach. “Guess we’ll find out,” he said
grimly as the lock on the container’s door clicked.
Knox stiffened, but then Liv joined him by the bars and draped his arm
over his shoulders.
Right.
Boyfriends.
Which was… weird. And awkward. And made his heart rattle.
But it sure beat dying.
The man who walked in must have been the one who’d pointed the gun at
them before Knox fainted, because he was massive. Liv was tall, that Shane
guy was tall too. But this man mountain could lift both Liv and Knox at the
same time if he strapped them to a barbell. His stern facial expression was
made even more intense by the frown line on his forehead. He stomped
closer in heavy combat boots, and his long black braid swayed behind him
like a boa constrictor in search of prey. His dark eyes seemed almost black
in the sparse light when they settled on the two of them.
He waved a few pieces of paper. “Innocent homeless boys looking for
shelter?” He cocked his head at Liv, who must have told him that lie, and
showed them a printout of their faces with the words Wanted for
questioning.
Knox’s stomach plummeted through the steel floor and straight to hell.
But for now the rest of his body remained here, holding on to Liv, whose
chin dipped as he sucked in a shuddery breath, insistently rubbing Knox’s
back in a way that was familiar yet in the context of their lie—
disconcerting.
“Look, Frank, we can forget any of this happened. Disappear. I swear I
don’t care what you do for a living. I don’t even know where we are,
because we hopped trains,” Liv muttered with a tremble in his voice that
was so believable Knox almost fell for it himself.
The huge stranger had a stern face, with a wide, big nose, and tattoos of
tigers emerging from under his clothes. It would have been easy enough to
dismiss him as some kind of meat-headed goon, but his gaze pierced
straight through Liv and Knox, as if mentally putting them on a spit-roast
already. But was he about to marinate them in acid or just grill them for
information? That remained to be seen.
Knox nodded.
But before he could open his mouth, Frank spoke. “I’m not letting you go
or stay until I have a full picture about who you are and what the fuck this,”
he pointed to the paper, “is about.”
Knox licked his lips, remembering what Shane had said about Frank’s
soft spot. And yeah, he might have mocked Liv, but if it saved them, he
could go along with whatever was needed. So he turned his head to Liv and
kissed his cheek with a strange knot in his stomach.
“Tell him, babe.”
Because Liv was definitely the better liar.
Liv might have been the one to come up with this lie, but the scrape of his
unshaven cheek made Knox tremble ever so slightly. If it weren’t for this
fucked-up situation, he would have stepped away and dashed to the
opposite end of the cell. But despite surely feeling uncomfortable with the
intimate touch, he didn’t miss a beat and pulled Knox closer, until they
stood chest to chest. Shocked, Knox found himself with his face resting on
Liv’s shoulder. Maybe it was the right move—Knox had never been a good
actor and fucked up even his starring role as a nonverbal snake in a school
play—but the escalation of gayness did not sit well with him at all.
 Still, he played along, because what did he have to lose at this point? This
was Liv. His best friend. They shared everything. Maybe he should think of
this whole thing as the most epic prank they’d ever pulled?
Liv’s chest rose, pushing at Knox’s, and when he spoke, his voice was
low and raspy from hunger and lack of sleep. It almost sounded… intimate.
Meant for a bed partner.
Was he… trying to flirt with this Frank guy?
“There really isn’t much to say. Knox’s boss found out about us, swung a
machete at him, I pushed him back and—” The way Liv stiffened in Knox’s
arms was most definitely not an act.
Liv might have been the one to throw Vlad to his death, but Knox had
been there to see how he’d paled, how it had taken him a whole minute to
act. Liv was a tough guy, but not a killer. Not at heart. Of course the whole
business left a mark on him.
“It was an accident, but we had to go. No one would have believed us,”
Liv mumbled, glancing back at Frank whose expression was a complete
mystery. For all Knox knew, Shane and Dex could have been joking around
without any real weight behind their words, but there were no other leads so
he and Liv would have to stick to their guns.
Frank hummed. “You dealing? Your backpack is full of drugs.”
Liv rubbed his chin against Knox’s shoulder as he exhaled. “He needs
them. He has arrhythmia. That’s why he fainted earlier. We broke into a
pharmacy so he doesn’t run out of meds.”
For once, Knox didn’t have the insistent need to deny it, because
appearing weaker than he was could be useful in these circumstances.
When Frank said nothing, Knox pulled out of Liv’s hold and took off the
shitty jacket to show the ugly wound on his forearm, patched up by Liv.
“This is where the guy attacked me with a machete. What else do you want,
man? We need to be off-grid, we couldn't rat you out even if we wanted to.”
“Which we don’t,” Liv added with the speed of a machine gun. “Look, I
hate what happened, but I had to save him, and I will save him, and this
accidentally brought us to your door. Sorry for the inconvenience, but
please, can you let us go? You’ll never hear of us again.”
Knox hated being the damsel in distress in this scenario, but he’d go with
it if it was to save their asses. “It was so dark we barely saw anything
anyway. Or, like, keep me, I’ll work it off for you, but let him go,” he said
because he meant it, but also because he hoped the self-sacrifice could pull
on Frank’s gay heartstrings.
Liv spun around to face him, his eyes full of emotion. Damn, this dude
could have been an actor in different circumstances.
“Are you fucking kidding me? There’s no way I’m leaving you
anywhere. It’s you and me. And it’ll stay that way. That’s what we agreed
on, remember?” He wasn’t lying, they did make such plans, but those never
felt serious with girlfriends coming and going.
“If it was an accident, and he attacked first, why didn’t you call the
cops?” Frank asked, as if he wasn’t a criminal with a business that involved
disappearing dead people and a murder container with cages.
Liv grabbed the bars, pushing his face between them. “People like us
don’t get to walk away from consequences with a slap on the wrist. His dad
is already in prison, put away for years, and we’re not nice boys from the
suburbs. Just look at us!”
Knox shook his head and stroked Liv’s arm. “And I was working
construction for the guy off the books. It’s just… Nothing is looking up for
us, man, but if you let us prove—”
“You did construction?” Frank asked, stepping closer.
Knox quickly nodded. “Yeah, all sort of shit. Cement mixer, bulldozer,
truck license—”
Frank interrupted him without mercy. “Forklift?”
“Yes. I can build you a fucking sauna and hot tub. I fix cars, upholstery,
spray paint, you name it.”
Liv nodded and gave the side of Knox’s head a kiss.
“He is so good. And I worked in a car parts shop. I’m good at fixing
things, and I race. You need a getaway driver, I’m your man,” Liv said.
“But anything you need me to learn, I can learn fast,” he said and grabbed
Knox’s hand. When their fingers entwined, it seemed to be the easiest
motion in the fucking universe. They fit together like a custom-made suit fit
a Wall Street broker.
Knox squeezed Liv’s fingers tightly, starting to feel that maybe, just
maybe, they wouldn’t die tonight.
Frank took a deep breath, shaking his head. “I’m keeping your IDs. And
you’re on… let’s call it probation. But you can stay for a few days. I do
warn you though.” He pointed to a hook hanging from a chain in the corner.
“Just try to fuck me over, and I’ll be skinning you alive in front of each
other. We’ll see who bleeds out first. Understood?”
Liv pulled Knox close as they both watched the giant man unlock the
cell. This has been almost too easy, and when the door opened, Frank stared
at them and repeated himself. It was only then that Knox and Liv both
nodded.
Goddamn, Knox couldn’t believe this crazy fucking plan had worked.
Only when Knox needed to put on his jacket did he realize he was still
holding Liv’s hand, and suddenly felt awkward about it, but since they were
both under Frank’s scrutiny, he didn’t say a thing.
“Th-thank you,” Knox muttered, trying to keep his shit together. He’d
always considered himself a tough guy, but he wasn’t a dispose-of-bodies-
in-acid kind of tough. Though fuck knew where this new path was about to
lead him.
Frank scowled, leaning closer. “And you’ll be taking a shower before you
eat. I won’t have you stinking up my place.”
Knox should take offense at the comment, but all he could think of was
that they’ll get to eat.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 7

Liv

FRANK HAD BUILT HIS house in the middle of the junkyard, but while
on the outside it had the appearance of a run-of-the-mill bungalow from the
suburbs, its walls hid a collection of fancy furniture and art. Liv had once
been taken on a school trip to the California State Capitol, and some of the
furniture he’d seen there matched the heavy, dark wood of the sideboard
holding a collection of fancy plates in Frank’s dining room.
The main table itself was in a rougher shape, and scarred by numerous
marks, yet its thick wooden surface felt like velvet under Liv’s fingers. He
waited for his tea, watching Frank’s partner, Ezra, prepare food in an open
plan kitchen with beautifully carved cabinets. Knox sank deeper into his
chair and stared at the gallery wall of framed black and white photographs
featuring the scrapyard.
Not a dead body or barrel of acid in sight. A normal fucking home. In
fact, a fancier one than any Liv had ever visited.
Three pendant lights with lampshades in a lively shade of green
illuminated the table as Ezra approached them with a tray of tea and snacks.
Ezra’s gaze, golden brown like quality whisky, scanned the two intruders,
and while he hadn’t yet complained about their presence, Liv got a sense
that he was not happy about it. He kept adjusting the soft black waves
falling to his neck, but it was likely just an excuse to peek at them, as if he
expected someone to pickpocket him in his own home.
Smooth hands with long, manicured fingers put the tray in the middle of
the table, and Liv took note of an odd ring made of silver and copper and
set with a single diamond. Especially since it featured on Ezra’s ring finger.
Dressed in a sweater made of the finest wool and beige pants that subtly
showcased his ass and thighs, he was as out of place in a scrapyard as Liv
was in a fancy restaurant.
This was a trophy boyfriend, if Liv had ever seen one. Flawless olive skin
marred only by a long pale scar on his cheek, an expensive watch, the
perfect features of a male model, with a long yet proportionate nose, and
lips that would have been extremely kissable on a girl. Not to mention that
he had to be at least ten years younger than his partner. Frank had done well
for himself.
When Knox reached for a dried apricot, Frank grabbed the bowl and
pulled it away. He hadn’t even sat down since coming in and introducing
them.
“Shower first. You’re not stinking up my kitchen any longer.”
Ezra cleared his throat. “There’s a set of fresh clothes and toothbrushes
for you in the bathroom.”
Knox gave the nuts one more longing look before getting up. Hunger
tended to make him snappy, but it seemed that he understood how dire their
situation was and didn’t dare agitate a man like Frank in front of his partner.
When they got up, Ezra retreated toward the heating oven, as if he
couldn't endure their stench any longer. Wow.
Liv was aware gay people were everywhere, and knew of one gay guy in
their trailer park, but this was the first time he’d met so many at once. They
were all so very casual about it too. Even the weirdo with the spear, to
whom others referred to as Jag, mentioned a “mate” and talked about that
person using male pronouns.
So this was some kind of gay criminal enclave.
Frank sighed and rubbed his face. In the warm kitchen light he didn’t
look as murderous anymore, but Liv wouldn’t dare underestimate anyone
with fists the size of mallets.
“Be quick, we’ll put some pizza in the oven,” Frank said as if to soften
the blow of taking away the food earlier.
So he did have a heart.
 Liv’s mouth filled with saliva at the mere thought of fresh, hot pizza.
“Can it have pepperoni?” Knox asked, and Liv wanted to slap him,
because even he had more tact than that.
Frank’s dark eyebrows lowered. “For questions like that, you’re getting
pineapple on yours.”
This moment of tension needed to be dealt with, and quick, so Liv did the
first thing that came to his mind and dove in for a quick peck on Knox’s
lips.
A charge of electricity sparked when their skin touched, sending
aftershocks down Liv’s body as he pulled away, curling his toes while
Knox’s blue gaze sliced him like a newly sharpened knife.
“We’ll have… whatever you offer,” Liv said before tugging on Knox’s
wrist and leading him into the bathroom.
They were greeted by the shine of white tiles, made a bit fancier by the
green potted plants placed in a couple of strategic spots, but Liv didn’t get
to have the first word once the door closed.
“What was that about?” Knox asked with a scowl, pushing on Liv’s face,
but then followed with a whisper, “you think they have cameras here?” He
looked around, bewildered.
Liv pulled him farther from the door, toward a large walk-in shower that
would easily fit them both. “What? What are you on about? Why would
they have cameras in their own bathroom?” he whispered before letting go
of Knox.
“I don’t know. What if it’s a setup? For like… gay peeping Tom porn?”
Knox went on, but he must had realized how implausible that was, because
he did start undressing.
Liv exhaled and rubbed Knox’s shoulder as soon as it was exposed,
before turning on the shower to mute their conversation. “You’re paranoid
like that old lady convinced the government is spying on her. I’ll go ask if
they have tinfoil, so I can make you a hat.”
Knox rolled his eyes and threw his jacket and T-shirt to the floor,
revealing a nasty bruise on his side where Vlad had hit him. It was right
next to the anatomical tattoo of a liver Knox got on Liv’s dare, to
commemorate their friendship. It was Knox’s only ink, and Liv rather liked
it that way.
“Ha. Ha. Very funny. You can’t be too careful. Our situation is already
messed up enough.” He bit his lip. “But… if this place does turn out to be
safe, maybe we could stay for a few days. It’s not like we have anywhere to
go.”
“I mean… they do have a hot shower.” Liv grinned and tugged his own
top off, finally ridding himself of the cold, damp fabric. He wasn’t ignorant
of the fact that they both smelled, but when he raised his arm, the sourness
of old sweat assaulted him like a fist to the face. “Jesus, I think even you
smell better than me. They could use my clothes to produce stench for those
weird museums that have stink emitters to gross people out.”
Knox leaned in to smell Liv’s pit, only to recoil seconds later. “You
wouldn’t be getting any smelling like that. But my breath’s no better.” He
shook his head and grabbed the toothbrush left on a neat pile of clothes.
“Wash your teeth in case they want us to kiss with tongue or something.”
Liv snorted, opening his jeans and sliding them down his legs. “Who?
You think Frank would want to kiss your ugly mug when he has a model
boyfriend in there? I’m afraid it’s just you and me, but maybe I should get
you a ring first?” he asked and swatted Knox’s newly uncovered ass.
Knox glared at him with his jeans and underwear pooled around his boots
and a toothbrush in his mouth.
“How do you know I’d accept?” he asked with a bit of toothpaste foam
sliding down his chin. “I don’t even know if you’re good in bed.”
Liv wiggled his brows and stepped close. He rested his chin on Knox’s
shoulder and looked at his blond scruff up close. “Oh, I’m sure you’ve
heard the many legends about how long I can go on for, and how I can
make panties disappear?”
Knox shoved him back and spat into the sink. “Don’t get so touchy-feely.
Keep the act for out there,” he pointed to the door, “because I don’t even
know how long we can pull it off.”
Naked, Liv stepped under the hot rain, and when it dampened his greasy
hair and trailed down his chest, it was a bliss he felt unworthy of.
“Oh goddamn, you need to come here,” he muttered, rubbing his face as
the shower took away the fatigue of the past few days. “And don’t worry,
we’ll just play along. It’s not that hard to act like a couple.”
Knox inched closer, clearly tempted to get under the water but keeping on
the outskirts of the hot rain for some inexplicable reason. “Maybe for your
gay ass, but I’m fucking struggling here. And what if they’re only nice and
told us to shower because they want to have an orgy or something? Like
that swinger couple, the Daleys. You wouldn’t be able to tell that they’re
freaky just from looking at them.”
Liv’s chest rumbled with laughter and he peeked toward the door. “You
think big man there would let us leave our dirty fingerprints on that
porcelain doll of a man?” he joked, but when Knox’s mouth remained
pressed into a thin line, Liv sobered. “Oh, my God. You’re serious? What
the hell, Knox?”
Knox must have lost his patience because he stepped under the shower.
He asserted his space by pushing Liv closer to the wall. “What? How would
I know what gay guys do?”
Whoa.
“They’re not a different species. Jesus, Knox, I never called you out on it
because there was no real reason, but tone down that fucking homophobia,
will you? Those people are doing us a favor, so don’t fuck it up!”
Knox’s scowl deepened to the point of appearing cartoonish with the
water falling on his head, as if from a storm cloud.
“And since when are you such a gay-lover?”
Liv started soaping up, weirded out by the strange tension the blue fire in
Knox’s gaze caused in him. “I was always gay-neutral. Why would I care
where someone else sticks his dong?”
When Knox turned to a little shelf to grab shampoo, Liv’s gaze followed
the pattern of the nasty bruise that curved on his side and all the way to his
back. Unable to help himself, he let his gaze drift lower, to Knox’s lean,
dimpled ass.
Knox popped open the bottle and turned back. “Because it’s fucked up.”
Liv stared at him, but when Knox didn’t explain and poured himself a
handful of a shampoo with some French name on the bottle, Liv cleared his
throat. This needed to be sorted out before they left the bathroom.
“What is?”
Knox looked tense as he rubbed the shampoo into his hair, sending a
delicious strawberry and mint scent into the vapor around them. “Don’t act
dumb. You know what I mean. You can’t just… fuck another dude.”
Liv gestured toward the bathroom door and whispered. “You think those
two sing each other poetry all night? I am pretty sure you can fuck another
dude. There’s tons of footage all over the internet too. Maybe you’re one of
those people who must see something to believe it?”
 Knox stared at him with his hands in the foam on his head. His face
flushed, and Liv was pretty sure it wasn’t just from the hot water. “What the
fuck are you talking about? You watch gay porn?” He leaned closer for his
whisper to be heard, and while Liv was used to touching him, it had been
years since they’d stood so close to each other naked. His gaze passed over
Knox’s dick before returning to his face.
“I've seen lots of weird porn. And the gay ones have the best anal action,”
he added, winking at Knox just to see his face.
Knox's eyes went so wide they looked as though they were about to pop
out of his head. He wouldn’t even blink despite the foam dripping down his
face. “That’s… weird. Why would you watch that?” he mumbled, more
meekly than before.
It was a bit weird, which was why Liv never shared that tidbit with
people, but he wasn’t ashamed of it, just worried it might chase away the
girls. “It’s two bodies. Same skin. Same hole,” he added with a grin and
stepped back when Knox tried to push him.
Knox rubbed his forehead, staring into space, shell shocked. “I… guess.
If you wanted to get good at anal then it probably made sense to watch the
pros…”
Liv licked his lips, taking in the deep flush creeping to the apples of
Knox’s cheeks. He reached forward and grabbed his scruffy chin. “Oh man,
you look so adorable when you’re nervous!”
And the pout he made at that was even cuter. Like an annoyed Golden
Retriever that was about to start barking. “I’m not nervous, you ass. Just
trying to make sense of your perversion.” As if to make his point, he twisted
Liv’s nipple, making him squirm and bite his tongue. Which created the
perfect opportunity for more teasing.
“Ah! Oh, harder,” Liv mumbled, rolling his eyes back with the
commitment of an actor delivering his award-winning performance.
Knox let go of him with so much dread Liv had to bite his fist to stifle
laughter, but when Knox slipped on the soapy suds under their feet and fell
to his ass, Liv laughed out loud.
“It’s not funny, dickface!” Knox grabbed a beige loofah and threw it at
Liv, but it was so light it bounced right off.
Liv grabbed onto the place it hit and scowled. “Domestic violence!”
“Are you kidding me, Frank?” came from the other side of the door,
making both Knox and Liv freeze. “You literally met them today, they’re
wanted in connection to a disappearance, and you want to let them sleep in
our home? In the home where I sleep?”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 8

Knox

KNOX’S ICE BLUE EYES drifted to Liv’s face, and they both stepped
toward the door, pressing their ears to the wood when Frank grumbled.
“I’ll be with you in bed all n—”
“No. And we’re not barricading our door either. I don’t want those
strangers sleeping here. Is there no other solution?”
Knox bit his lip, giving Liv an uncertain glance that spoke volumes. Sure,
they were warm and clean now, but they had nowhere to go, and barely any
money left. Liv didn’t even have another protein bar because he’d lied
about there being two earlier.
“Okay, maybe I can set them up in the workshop,” Frank said after a
pause.
“And leave me with them?” Ezra’s voice became high-pitched.
“No, it’s okay, come with me if you want.”
“But the pizza—”
“We’ll be back in minutes.”
Liv could only hope the workshop came with a radiator, because the
nights were hardly getting any warmer at the end of September.
Knox took a deep breath and went back under the shower to wash out the
shampoo. “They think we’re the threat.”
 Liv’s gaze lingered on Knox’s rounded, muscular butt as he considered
what they’d both heard before joining him in the stall. “That’s good though.
Means they’re not complete monsters. Maybe they won’t kill us in our
sleep,” he said and grinned at the bottle in Knox’s hand. “That shit must be
real fancy.”
Knox smiled and winked at him. “It has to be. Gay shampoo after all.”
Liv shrugged. “Pour me some of it. Maybe I’ll also have hair like a doll
after I use it.”
Knox shoved at his shoulder without the earlier aggression. “You wish.
You’d have to go much gayer than just the shampoo,” he said and held it
out of Liv’s reach.
Something strange happened to Liv’s stomach in that moment. A whole
swarm of worker bees tumbled inside him. He had to steady himself,
keeping his gaze pinned to Knox’s flushed cheeks. They were so damn
close.
“How gay do you want me to be?” Liv cocked his head with a smirk. He
didn’t know where this was going, and he was having too much fun to care.
Knox snort-laughed and turned to Liv with the shampoo bottle at crotch
level. “I dunno. This gay?” He fake-moaned and thrust his hips, squirting
beige goo onto Liv’s stomach.
The hair on Liv’s nape bristled, and the damn bees buzzed sending a
tremble all over his body when the gooey shampoo settled on Liv’s skin
while Knox’s features relaxed into a roguish smile.
Had he always been this pretty? His lips this rosy? Eyes blue like a sunny
sky on a cold winter day?
A familiar sensation settled in Liv’s groin, hot as Liv’s favorite cinnamon
tea.
He took a step closer.
When someone banged on the bathroom door, Knox jumped and dropped
the bottle, only to scramble for it.
“Stop wasting my hot water and get your damn pizza, we don’t have all
night!” Frank yelled.
But even Liv’s stomach wasn’t as important anymore when Knox’s face
hovered so close to his crotch. Could he…? Maybe… Or was he just horny
and with no prospects for a fuck?
Knox was his best friend. There could be no maybes.
 Knox looked up, and… was it an illusion or had he briefly peeked at
Liv’s goods? Whether he had or not, he was naked. Wet. And kneeling right
in front of Liv, close enough to play his flute if he fancied it.
But Knox didn’t take another glance. He picked up the shampoo, put it
away on the shelf, and stumbled out of the shower so fast he slipped on the
way. He had a great figure. Overall slimmer than Liv but packed with
muscle. A damn fine specimen of man, and not particularly hairy at that.
“Sorry! Coming!” Knox yelled, drying himself with a towel.
Snapping out of the sudden daze, Liv grabbed the shampoo, squeezed lots
on his head. and massaged it in before stepping back under the shower
while the unexpected arousal subsided. Maybe he shouldn’t think about this
too hard. They were friends. The best of the best. He’d run into a burning
building if Knox were inside. The last thing he needed was a weird erotic
brain fart about him.
Maybe he really shouldn’t have watched gay porn.
Knox smirked, already putting on the set of loose sweats they got from
their hosts. “If you take too long, I’ll be eating both pizzas.”
“Oh come on, I gave you my last protein bar,” Liv complained before he
could have caught himself. Mortified, he switched off the water and rubbed
his head with the towel in hope Knox didn’t catch that.
"What? You forgot you only had one?” Knox rolled his eyes. “We could
have shared it. Let’s go, I can already smell food. And look, they even gave
us socks.” He smiled up at Liv as he sat to put them on. It was a relief to see
him so happy over little things. He looked so cute in the oversized clothes
and with wet hair sticking to his forehead.
Really damn cute in a way Liv never noticed before this stupid day, the
hugging, the peck on the lips, the “babe”—
But this confusion had to stop, so he put on his own set of clothes. They
fit him better than Knox’s and Liv faced him with a smile, glad Knox
waited for him instead of going for the pizza slice with the most pepperoni.
Liv intended to give it to him anyway, but it was a nice gesture.
His stomach rumbled as if a teen garage band had made it their home. A
weird impulse told him to let Knox through the door first, but he stopped
himself in time. The stray thought was forgotten anyway once they reached
the kitchen and saw Frank sitting in front of two massive plates of pizza.
Ezra leaned against the kitchen counter behind Frank with his arms
crossed, like an elegant shadow.
 “Liver? What kind of name is this?” Frank asked, glancing at their IDs,
which he’d set on the table in front of him. He raised his eyebrows as they
sat down like two dogs tempted by a fresh bowl of food.
Gah.
Liv scowled as he dropped into the chair, smelling the dough, the oil, the
melted cheese… His stomach growled again, sounding as if a drunk man
had fallen into a set of drums. Ezra placed a massive green salad between
the steaming pies, unaware that his guests weren’t interested in rabbit food.
After a moment’s hesitation, he also pushed the pepperoni pizza toward Liv,
who tore off two massive pieces and folded them into a cheese and meat
sandwich.
Biting in was bliss.
This damn pie was the best he’d ever had. But with Frank ogling him as
if he were toxic waste about to infect the love of his life, Liver swallowed
the first bite to speak.
“Yeah. That’s my name. And yes, everyone asks.”
“So good!” Knox mumbled with his mouth full, eating so fast it made his
ears tremble.
Frank squinted. “Your parents got together, brainstormed, and decided
that Liver was the best they could come up with?”
With his mouth stuffed full of greasy deliciousness, Liv nodded. He was
tired of this damn story, which only proved that even his own parents
thought he wasn’t worthy of real consideration, but he met Frank’s gaze.
“Dad really liked liver. Fried with onion, and shit. They actually decided
to call me River, which would have been the coolest name ever, right? But
when I was born and Dad went to register me, he thought calling me Liver
instead would be funny.”
Or he’d been too drunk to spell right that day, which would have been a
much less entertaining story.
Frank hummed. He was a strange mixture of calm and danger. Liv
couldn’t decide yet if he could trust the guy, but his partner definitely
softened Frank’s image.
“Offal is very healthy,” Ezra said, taking a seat in the chair next to
Frank’s. He put some salad on his plate, and then a single slice of pizza.
“What’s offal?” Knox asked between swallowing and taking another
massive bite.
“Organ meat. Liver, Heart, brains,” Ezra said patiently, chewing his salad.
 Liv scowled. “Ew. Nah, thanks, I’d rather have the pizza. I didn’t know
real pizzerias delivered all the way here, wow.”
“And while we’re at this,” Knox said, “Where is here?”
Liv blinked and put his arm around him on impulse. Knox was warm, and
his damp, longish hair dripped water onto Liv’s forearm. “Y—yeah. Are we
in Canada?”
Knox stiffened for a moment but didn’t pull away or complain. He was
now Liv’s boyfriend after all.
Frank shook his head. “Pennsylvania. But you won’t be sightseeing any
time soon. You’ll sleep in my workshop, and I’ll have jobs for you in the
morning.”
“Your clothes should be washed and dried by then.” Ezra gave them a
polite smile as he cut into his slice of pizza with a knife like a dainty old
lady in a sitcom Liv watched as a kid.
Liv sighed in relief. “You two are the best people,” he said and made
another pizza sandwich just as Knox finished his. With laughter rumbling
deep in his throat, Liv turned to face him. He moved the folded bits next to
his mouth as he spoke. “Look, I’m a duck.”
Knox snort-laughed and shoved at him. “Shut up! I’m eating! Now I can’t
swallow!”
Liv spoke without thinking and wiggled his eyebrows at Knox. “That’s
not what you said last night.”
Knox laughed harder, having to hide his full mouth. “I’m gonna choke if
you keep doing this.”
Liv grinned and rolled the pizza sandwich into a tube which he poked at
Knox’s face. “That also sounds familiar.”
Knox looked up at their hosts as he pushed away the pizza dough dick.
“Sorry for my boyfriend, he’s unhinged but only loveably so.”
Ezra pursed his lips. “Should I prepare bibs to go with your breakfast?”
Liv swallowed, glancing at Knox. “Only if you serve us those… what are
they—”
“Crayfish,” Knox added, grinning so wide his cheeks dipped a little.
Frank shook his head. “You’re not getting crayfish for breakfast.”
Ezra swallowed a sip of tea and offered Frank a smile. “At least they’re
both male, so neither of them will suddenly end up pregnant with twins.”
Liv grinned and stole a kiss off Knox’s sauce-stained lips. “Yep. That’s
the great thing about being gay. No condoms needed.”
 Knox’s gaze followed Liv, and when he licked his lips after the kiss, Liv
definitely felt a shiver go down his stomach. But it was probably just his
body being happy about pizza.
“Yep, this stomach is staying hard and flat,” he added, placing his hand
on Knox’s belly as his head drummed with the sound of his heartbeat.
“I sure fucking hope you two are on PrEP,” Ezra whispered.
Liv winked at him. “No, only he needs to prep.”
Knox’s blue eyes went wide, his face reddened, and he slapped Liv with a
slice of pizza. “Don’t fucking tell them that kind of shit!”
Frank got up. “I see you’re both done if you’re playing with your food.
Let’s go get the mattress.”
Knox packed the rest of the slice into his mouth. Man, that thing had lots
of capacity, and Liv definitely shouldn’t be thinking about it in the context
of shampoo squirts and Knox looking up at him while on his knees.
What. The. Hell.
“Thank you for everything, and sorry about everything too,” Liv babbled,
watching Ezra, who stared at him as if he were being forced to share a
dining table with a hog. “I pretty much raised myself, so… feel free to tell
me which cutlery to use for fish and shit. I’ll do anything for more of that
home cooking.”
Ezra cleared his throat. “I didn’t make that—”
“You baked it for us, and that’s what counts!”
“I guess I did.” Ezra put a little piece of pizza into his mouth. Liv had to
admit it was an amount that also allowed him to speak without mumbling.
This guy had his shit together.
Frank led them to a small room with a single bed which might have been
where they would have stayed if Ezra hadn’t suspected them of being
psycho murderers. Which was fair enough. They grabbed the mattress and
followed Frank outside.
Liv had no idea what time it was, but his stomach was full, his body
clean, and he was about to rest his sore muscles in dry clothes. After days of
uncertain misery, the current arrangement seemed luxurious, and while the
workshop was filled with all kinds of junk and had a dusty smell, it would
be a safe place to rest.
But instead of telling them to just put their new bed down, Frank
continued through the workshop, to a door on the other side, and when they
entered, Liv was astonished by how warm the interior behind it was.
 While rough around the edges, the little office they found themselves in
was clean and spider web-free, at first glance at least, and there were even
two wooden pallets prepared for them to rest the mattress on. Ezra’s idea,
no doubt.
Frank pointed to a little radiator in the corner as they put down the
mattress. “You can turn it up if it gets too cold at night, and you’ve got a
bottle of water here as well, next to the bedding. There’s a restroom at the
very back of the workshop if you need it.” He then squinted at them. “But if
you decide it’s a great idea to abuse my generosity by trying to rob me or
run away, maybe think back to what you saw earlier tonight.”
Knox shook his head. “Never! We are so fucking grateful, man.”
“So fucking grateful. No one has ever been so generous to us,” Liv said
and gave Frank a hug, which made him feel like a chihuahua trying to
socialize with a mastiff, but he wanted to express that all this kindness
meant a lot. “I was so damn worried about Knox’s health, and here you are,
a good Samaritan in the junkyard.”
Frank sighed but eventually patted Liv on the back with a stiff gesture,
which was, hopefully, a sign that he wouldn’t try to get into any of their
pants. What a relief! Liv would rather not need to blow Frank for a bed and
dinner, but the idea of anyone touching Knox filled him with vicious anger.
“Don’t come over for breakfast before eight,” Frank said on his way out,
leaving Liv and Knox in a cocoon of warmth.
Knox smiled when he smelled his sweatshirt. “It smells so nice.”
“I know, right?” Liv exclaimed, fondling the front of his own top. “And
the clothes are so soft. I don’t think I’ve ever worn anything like this!” he
said, stepping closer, until he and Knox almost touched by their new bed.
They’d have the most amazing night ever. They wouldn’t have to sleep in
turns, afraid of getting robbed, and they would be warm and toasty. Knox
threw the bedding to the mattress, then got the bed ready.
“Maybe I’m naive, but I’ve got a good feeling about this place,” he said,
looking up at Liv. “If nothing crazy happens, we could take a few days to
figure things out here. I don’t think they want an orgy.”
Liv grinned, kicking off his shoes as he rolled into the bed first. “You
switch off the light,” he announced, amazed by how soft the mattress felt
under his back after sleeping on cold metal floors in the freight trains. “Nah,
I don’t think we’re their types.”
 The room went dark, and Knox carefully gravitated back to their nest.
“This is, like, a single bed. I’m thinking… maybe we could sleep ass to ass?
Dick to dick would be weird,” he said and slid under the comforter, pushing
Liv to the side, but neither of those suggestions made sense when they had
such a small space to work with.
Liv grabbed Knox’s shoulder, settling behind him, and while the little
office was warm, spooning another body provided more relief than Liv
could have anticipated. It was like sinking into a pool of fresh yet fruity
mallow cream, and right now that was exactly what he craved.
“Wow. You smell like strawberries and mint.”
Knox stiffened in Liv’s loose embrace, making him anticipate a pointless
struggle when they could just hug and keep one another warm. But the
protests never came.
“Gay shampoo,” Knox muttered sleepily.
Liv snorted as fatigue made him sink deeper into the mattress. He was
floating on a warm cloud. With the only person who ever mattered to him.
“Everything here is gay, you dumbass.”
Knox chuckled. “You’re gay.”
“You’re gay,” Liv mumbled, inhaling the minty fragrance of Knox’s hair
while he hugged him from behind. Their bodies were such a perfect fit for
this.
“Watch how you talk to your boyfriend,” Knox said with laughter
rumbling in his chest.
Liv hummed, already half-asleep. “Sorry, babe. I love you.”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 9

Knox

KNOX FELT AS THOUGH he was sleeping on a cloud. His pillow smelled

of strawberries, he was warm, his belly full, and… someone hugged him.
He wouldn’t be caught dead admitting how comforting the thick arms felt
around him, but who could they possibly belong to when he had no one else
in the world but Liv—
But then Liv mumbled something, pulled him closer, and it became
impossible to deny the reality of Liv’s morning wood pressing at his ass.
Blood drained from Knox’s head, leaving it empty. Liv’s boner was
giving him one by proxy, and that was fucking weird.
He cleared his throat, hoping to wake Liv up, but while his friend did
move, it wasn’t to roll away but squeeze Knox’s pec.
Enough was enough.
“Liv. It’s not a titty,” he said, gently elbowing Liv to shoo him away.
Hot breath engulfed his nape like the softest of blankets, and the sturdy
form behind him pressed closer as Liv tightened his hold on Knox. He even
smacked his lips as if he were tasting the mouth of some pretty thing he was
probably fucking in his dreams. All while Knox lay alongside him, a stand-
in for the wet dream girl until his best friend realized what he’d been doing
and recoiled so they could both laugh about it.
 But when Liv rocked against him, a hot shiver went up Knox’s spine as if
he were being poked by the devil’s pitchfork. Sure, it had been a few weeks
since his last fuck with Amanda, but this didn’t feel right. And yet he was
harder by the second, and more confused than he’d like to admit. His
cheeks heated, his ears burned, and it was about time to put a stop to this
idiocy.
“Liv! Wake the fuck up.” He shoved at his friend again, but when Liv
pinched his nipple through the sweatshirt, a moan ripped out of his mouth
instead of the next round of harsh words. He couldn’t stop it. Something
about the heat and scent of Liv’s body, and Knox’s own arousal, made his
skin unusually sensitive. As if every square inch of it was only waiting for
more touch.
This wasn’t fucking normal.
Maybe he was dreaming too?
A nightmare of all nightmares that might end up staining his friendship
with Liv forever.
And yet, when Liv’s hand traveled lower and rested over Knox’s dick,
Knox did not stop him.
He swallowed, unable to move, as if he were in sleep paralysis. His
breath shallowed when Liv’s warm aroma enveloped him like expensive
silk. It was no news that Liv was a bit bigger than him. Everywhere. Yet
right now, it felt like a revelation that held all of his attention.
This wasn’t the first time he and Liv ended up sleeping in the same bed
for one reason or another, but it never occurred to him that being this close
could lead to anything… illicit. They were just good friends, so that would
have been ridiculous.
And gay.
And wrong.
And fucked up.
But here he was, fighting the urge to rock back against the stiff presence
and meet Liv’s insistent humping. Each jab of his hips was like the strike of
flint against steel, and despite knowing the sparks might set them both on
fire, he could not stop moving.
“Liv. You fucking dog,” he mumbled, painfully aware that if he wanted
Liv to wake up, he should have said it louder. Liv only stopped when Knox
reached back and swatted his hip.
 He grumbled like a lion about to sate his lust, and the low, guttural
quality of his grunt rained little needles of heat all over Knox.
Knox assumed Liv would back off any minute now, grossed out by the
fact that his hand was rubbing a hard dick that wasn’t his own. But Liv
stalled before raising to one elbow while that insistent hand remained on
Knox’s groin.
“You’re hard,” Liv mumbled, and Knox sensed the heat of judgmental
eyes at the back of his neck.
He looked back with a scowl, all too aware of the flush burning his
features. “You’re one to talk. You’ve been rubbing your morning wood
against me, you perverted fucker.” But despite the anxious fury glowing
deep inside, when his gaze met Liv’s, his heart did a little flip. And why
would that happen? He'd seen those brown eyes a million times.
Knox could hardly remember being this horny for no reason. He hadn’t
even been thinking about anything sexy. Maybe he’d had a wet dream he
didn’t remember? Because how else could this have—
Liv’s nostrils flared as sleepiness drained from his brown gaze. Just when
Knox thought his friend would fuck off with those big hands, Liv grinned,
pushing his tongue at the gap between his front teeth.
“Aw, babe! Why are you being so cold? You don’t like having your titties
squeezed?” he joked and gave Knox’s pec the gentlest squish, which
somehow…somehow—
Fuck, Knox’s brain was fried, and his cock got even harder.
He stilled, registering the soft moan coming from his own lips, and
followed the embarrassing sound with laughter, because it made him so
nervous, he didn’t know what else to do. “Get off, you ass! And not on me.”
He grabbed both of Liv’s hands and wrestled them away, maybe wiggling
against Liv’s dick in a way he shouldn't have, but that would stay between
Knox and Satan.
“Oh, come on, you’re afraid of my dick? What did it ever do to you?” Liv
asked with laughter woven through his words so perfectly his voice made
Knox throb. Especially the way he said dick, rolling it on his tongue as if it
gave him pleasure.
Liv rose to his knees and grabbed Knox’s wrists, holding them above his
head while he climbed on top to pin Knox down like they used to do when
wrestling.
 His neck was so wiry, and the rose tattoos peeking out from under his top
made Knox think about the tanned, warm flesh hidden under the fabric. It
had been a while since he’d had an excuse to touch Liv's chest. But the fact
that he admired its width and shape had always remained locked in a big
box of secret thoughts no one could access.
Not even him.
Now its lid popped open, and he couldn’t put it back on, no matter how
hard he tried.
It was impossible with his hands held down.
Knox was a fighter, a good one at that. Yet he lay under Liv and didn’t
struggle against the hold with as much defiance as he could have.
So the box remained open and all the thoughts he’d meant to keep hidden
were falling out.
Liv is so handsome.
Liv’s dick is hot.
Liv smells good.
Liv’s stupid grins make my heart do backflips.
Liv on top of me makes my dick so damn hard.
And then stupid thoughts like:
Does his cum taste like mine?
What does he look like when he comes?
How would it feel to slide my fingers against the hair on his abs?
Liv made a self-satisfied ah-hah sound, towering over Knox with that
shit-eating grin all the girls found so attractive. No wonder. Liv was so
bold. He did shit when other guys second guessed themselves. Knox had
always been impressed by that.
“What is it, babe? Is it that you like my dick too much?” Liv asked and
let go of Knox’s wrists to push apart his thighs and sink between them. It
was like being stabbed in many places at once, only instead of pain, Knox
felt arousal so potent even the tips of his toes throbbed in response to Liv
pushing his way between Knox’s legs as if it was his God-given right.
He should shove him off.
Say no.
Laugh it off.
But he just lay there with his toes curled so hard he got a cramp in one of
his feet.
And Liv calling him babe? Knox’s insides melted.
 Liv’s hard dick pressed against Knox’s, and despite knowing it should
revolt him, no sexual encounter had ever felt more natural. Every time
Knox had been with girls, arousal remained locked behind a glass wall, but
Liv’s touch smashed right through it, turning the shards into sugar.
This man fit between Knox’s legs as if the spot was made for him.
‘No, I don’t like your dick, that would be fucking gay, wouldn’t it?’ Knox
meant to say, but the deceitful words refused to leave his mouth, so instead
he choked out, “I… I don’t know.”.
Knox knew Liv so well. They’d lived together since teenagerhood. They
ate together, played together, did almost everything together. Yet this was
the first time he witnessed emotion switch in his warm eyes—from playful
amusement to intense focus.
“You don’t?”
When Liv moved again, his hard dick slid over Knox’s groin. Slow and
deliberate. Stiff and pulsing with heat.
Knox shivered with a whine on his lips as heat inside him rose, about to
spill out. He was so hard he could blow any second. All this from just a bit
of friction. Without even removing their clothes.
What the hell was wrong with him?
Why would he like this?
Did he want to do other things with Liv’s dick? Another guy’s—No. Liv.
That was his only focus. His fingers trembled when he rested them on Liv’s
shoulders, which were so fucking wide and firm. Knox had always admired
Liv’s build, but what if he’d been telling himself that all this time to hide
that he found Liv attractive?
He couldn’t bring himself to meet Liv’s eyes but was painfully aware of
those brown eyes burning as they watched him.
He should end this. His dad’s voice screamed at him from somewhere in
his conscience, telling him that this was wrong. That he should be ashamed
of himself.
But right now, with Liv’s weight on top, he was too horny to care. How
could he when this was the first time rubbing against someone else did not
feel like being touched through bubble wrap?
A throbbing ball of arousal, Knox couldn’t make himself speak, so he let
out a raspy sigh to let Liv know how much he needed more of this delicious
friction.
 Liv exhaled, and his hand moved down Knox's thigh, rubbing it in sync
with the languid yet calculated stirring of his hips. “Me? I like this.”
Knox’s head spun with bright lights and noise. Had Liv really said that?
Or had his overheated mind fooled him, just because he had never been this
hard in his life and didn’t want the rocking to stop?
Sun must have slipped out from behind clouds outside, because a bright
ray entered their little nest through a small window. It showcased Liv’s
midsection as he tugged at the front of his long-sleeve and pulled it back
behind his head, revealing the wide chest covered with an elaborate image
of hot rods. His nipples replaced two wheel rims in the picture, tempting
Knox’s mouth as Liv’s hips rocked back and forth, rubbing their dicks
through fabric.
It was the most glorious thing he’d ever experienced.
For half a second, Knox was brave enough to meet Liv’s eyes, but he
looked away the moment Liv caught him. With women, Knox had a general
idea of what to do, how to go through the motions. But with Liv at the
wheel, he was about to drown in the boiling water of lust. And a part of him
wished to disappear before the consequences caught up with him.
Now that it was clear Knox’s rock hard dick was the leader, not his brain,
he could no longer deny Liv was scorching hot. So hot, in fact, that Knox
could barely breathe in his proximity. Big, muscular, tattooed, Liv was the
picture of masculinity, but there was a beauty to his brute form, as if
someone had carved him with special care.
Knox wanted to lick him.
But he wouldn’t. Even thinking about such things was outrageous. But
his trembling hands wouldn’t listen and climbed Liv’s sides with reverence.
It felt like seeing him for the first time, and Knox longed for this moment to
last, for them to freeze like this and never need to go through doubt or
regret again.
“You smell good,” Knox whispered, afraid of the meaning behind his
own words.
Liv’s chest expanded as he inhaled, lowering his toned body until both
their cocks were trapped together. Knox couldn’t breathe. Or think. Or be
certain the man trembling at Liv’s touch was still him. He refused to meet
his friend’s gaze, too afraid of the judgment he might see.
“You smell like the first barbeque of the season. Mouth-fucking-
watering,” Liv rasped, pushing his hand under Knox’s top as he dropped his
weight to his elbow, bringing their faces closer. The heel of his hand pulled
Knox’s nipple, but that only lasted a moment, because his scalding fingers
emerged through the collar and gently closed on Knox’s neck.
Knox whimpered and raised his knees to Liv’s sides, unable to hold back
the rocking motion of his own hips. He was so hard, so close to coming
already, regardless of whether they should be doing this in the first place.
This was a problem for future Knox, because the Knox of here and now
wanted to rut.
So he squeezed Liv’s sides a bit harder and moved however his body
urged him to, indulging in the intoxicating rhythm and the pressure it was
building up inside him. Now that he’d experienced what it meant to be the
object of Liv’s desire, he couldn’t fault Amanda for succumbing to it. How
could anyone resist this man?
His body shook when Liv’s thumb stole up his chin and rubbed its rough
tip across Knox’s lips.
He wasn't ready for that.
Then again, nobody could ever be ready for the storm named Liver Polk.
After a single mind-numbing squeeze to Knox’s throat, Liv moved his
hand down, grabbed Knox’s knee, and pulled it to his hip in a demanding
tug. Unable to resist that wordless command, Knox wrapped his legs around
Liv's waist, and uttered a frantic whine that simultaneously made him
embarrassed and even hornier.
He sounded so lewd. Like a porn slut. Was this how Liv liked his
partners? Needy and at his mercy?
“Look,” Liv rasped, shoving his sweatpants lower. He pulled his hard
shaft out so it rested on Knox’s partially covered stomach.
Look? Knox wouldn't close his eyes if someone ripped his head off. His
breath turned ragged and saliva pooled in his mouth at the sight of that thick
piece of meat. Any and all moral judgments could wait, because his world
started and ended on the sight of Liv’s erect dick rubbing against him and
leaving a trail of pre-cum on his skin. Heavy, throbbing with heat, and solid.
Touching Knox.
“Oh, fuck…” he whimpered, squeezing his thighs around Liv’s hips and
moving against him as if he were in heat. He was so close he could feel the
upcoming orgasm on his tongue.
Sex had never felt anything like this.
 He finally got to touch the real thing, and by the time Liv sank more of
his weight on him, Knox didn’t have the capacity to be scared by that
anymore.
The only thing that counted was Liv. His musky scent, which Knox
recognized despite the intense fragrance of Ezra’s shampoo, his burning
skin, his rough hands, the faint sound of his breath. Knox wanted to bottle
up this moment and keep it with him forever, so he could remember it
during the lonely nights to come.
But then, Liv held his chin and pushed it up so their eyes met. His were
so dark. So intense. So… lustful it terrified Knox, but before he could have
uttered a word of protest, Liv dipped in and licked his mouth.
It felt like being touched by lightning.
Were his insides made of electricity? Because Knox felt that tongue
every-fucking-where. He opened his mouth to gasp, letting Liv in, and once
their mouths locked, there was no escape from this madness.
Knox closed his eyes and let their tongues play as Liv’s thrusts sped up.
Every time his dick rubbed over Knox’s sweaty stomach, sparks flew
around them, igniting the bed, the floor, then the entire workshop. And
Knox didn’t get left behind. He rocked his hips, seeking all the friction he
could get. At this point, even the fabric of the sweatpants would be enough
to get him off. They were both thrusting with their hips, but Knox did feel
like Liv was the one doing the fucking. Both with his dick and his skillful
tongue.
Every lick and hungry bite made Knox’s head sizzle and his skin vibrate
with excitement. There was nowhere else he’d rather be than under Liv,
with that stiff dick fucking the tight crevice between their stomachs.
Knox’s fingers traveled up Liv’s muscular back with amazement and
need. His ultimate goal was the back of Liv’s head so he could hold Liv and
make sure he stayed here forever. On top of Knox. Kissing him like he
wanted to eat him alive.
Knox came with a moan Liv inhaled straight out of his mouth. Arching
his back off the bed, he held on to Liv’s ears and tightened his thighs around
his hips as pleasure rolled over him in hot waves.
A grunt he’d never heard from Liv before curled in the shell of his ear,
pulsing as Liv’s fingers dug into Knox’s thigh. He thrust that hot, rock-solid
cock against bare skin while his tongue explored every inch of Knox's
mouth, taking possession of him for good.
 Each slide of the cockhead against bare skin left a trail of wet fire, but
Knox would rather burn than ask him to stop.
Liv rutted faster and faster…
And then it happened.
With sun shining through Liv’s short crop and Knox’s limbs pulling him
close, Liv shuddered, tensed, and then shot his hot, sticky load under
Knox’s T-shirt.
His low moan of satisfaction would be forever seared on Knox's brain
like a brand of shame.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 10

Liv

LIV’S HEAD DRUMMED LIKE a rattle shaken without rhyme or reason,

but when he opened his eyes and saw the rosy shade of Knox’s skin, the
rhythm inside him became steady again, even if still insistent.
His cum was hot between their bodies. The sun hadn’t fallen from the
sky. Liv was still himself, and so was Knox, and yet everything had
changed.
Because now he knew what Knox looked like aroused, how hazy his blue
eyes got when he came, how smooth his lips felt in contrast to the rough
stubble.
Nothing would be the same after this.
And Liv didn’t fucking want it to be.
He might have had glimpses of attraction after that brief peck on the lips
last night, but once Knox had moaned for him that first time, Liv was a
goner. That sound, broken yet resonant like a chime calling to him from the
dark, flipped a switch in Liv’s head. From that moment on he knew his
erection hadn’t been just morning wood, and that the rush in his blood
wasn’t only a physical reaction to closeness.
They had always been best friends, almost brothers, but now the dam
between them had broken, and Liv was overwhelmed by the intensity of his
attraction to Knox.
 He nipped on Knox’s plump lip as he watched the pretty blue eyes in
amazement. They were hazy with afterglow and so lost Liv itched to show
him the way forward.
Once he found it himself.
He moved between Knox’s legs, his dick spreading cum all over Knox’s
stomach. Liv might had taken the lead, but Knox hadn’t stayed behind.
He’d wrapped his legs around Liv after a little nudge, and then caressed
Liv’s back and shoulders.
It reminded Liv of Knox’s ex complaining that Knox lacked initiative, but
maybe this was the core of the problem? Maybe Knox needed someone else
to take charge?
Liv would gladly be that person.
Knox was still catching his breath as his legs parted around Liv. He was
so beautiful with the tension fucked out of him. Flushed, with stray hair
stuck to his forehead, and watching Liv as if no one else mattered.
His heart beat fast, maybe even a bit faster than Liv’s, yet he stayed still
and didn’t try to untangle himself from the embrace. The needy way he'd
held on to Liv’s shoulders and sides was an insistent memory, and the touch
of his fingertips on Liv’s nape created so many sparks they could ignite the
engine of a race car.
Words were rarely stuck in Liv’s throat, but this moment felt both fragile
and precious, and he’d be damned if he ruined it by saying something
careless. So instead he let his hands do the talking and stroked Knox’s
scruffy chin as if it were the wing of a butterfly.
He had questions, but he needed to be tactful, give Knox time to process
—
“So… do you like dick?” he blurted out.
He knew he’d said the wrong thing the moment Knox’s face scrunched
into a combative expression. His eyebrows furrowed, his eyes got sharp as
two razorblades, and his nostrils flared.
He let go of Liv’s neck as if the touch burned him, even though he’d
caressed it with so much tenderness just seconds ago.
“What? You started it!” Knox said and pushed on Liv’s shoulders,
creating distance.
Not all that successfully, considering Liv’s dick was still rubbing against
Knox’s sticky, naked skin.
Shit.
 “Maybe I did,” Liv said.
When panic flashed in Knox’s eyes, he pushed his fingers into the hair at
the back of Knox’s head and met his gaze.
Fuck, he had such a beautiful face. And while it wasn’t in any way
feminine, there was a softness to it despite the amazing jawline and strong
brows that made Knox hot in a way only a young guy could be.
“Stay,” Liv said.
But he could already sense that he’d lose this time. Knox was fucking
stubborn, and he’d taken offense at the question.
“Why? We did this… thing, and, like… I’m hungry. And not gay.” He
pushed on Liv harder, this time meaning it, and all Liv could think was that
Knox’s skin was covered in cum.
His cum.
And that he wanted to see Knox’s dick harden.
“Yeah, we did this thing, and we both liked it,” Liv said, wiping his dick
with the sheet without ever taking his eyes off Knox, who stumbled away
from the bed in what looked like a state of utter shock. “Sit with me,” he
tried, patting the mattress once he was covered.
He couldn’t fight the sense that everything had shifted in those intense
minutes between the sheets. Knox was no longer just his buddy in oversized
sweats. He was a sex pot Liv wanted to dip his fingers into. The dark stain
at the front of his pants reminded Liv of the way Knox had come under
him. Moaning, holding on tightly, and rocking his hips for release. He was
so fucking hot with his blond hair in disarray and one sock missing in
action. Liv wanted to lick his face, neck, chest, suck on his nipples and
cover all of his skin with saliva and spunk.
God. The shift had only just happened and the urge for more was already
excruciating.
Liv was all-in. Now he needed to calm down the rabid coyote pacing
around their tiny room.
Knox shrugged, looking everywhere but into Liv’s face. He ran his
fingers through his hair. “I don’t wanna sit. I told you I’m hungry. Have you
seen my sock? It’s way past eight, so we can go to Frank’s.”
Liv rose and took a step toward him, wondering if he should push or let it
go. The last thing he needed was Knox having heart issues right after they’d
both come so hard.
 Because damn, that might have been the hottest fucking experience ever.
Hotter even than his first time with Mrs. Williams from the trailer next door
when he was a hormonal fourteen-year-old.
Next. Fucking. Level.
“We’ve known each other forever. There’s no need for this.”
“No need for what? We’re good.” Knox’s shoulders sagged, and he took
several deep breaths. “Okay, fuck it. No sock then,” he mumbled and
walked out of their warm cocoon in one sock and without shoes.
He was either this hungry, or this much of a hot mess, and they couldn’t
afford the latter while at the mercy of strangers. Frank might have a heart,
but he was also a shady character who didn’t yet earn their trust.
Liv had seen that chip on Knox’s shoulder before, and it was never a
prelude to anything good.
There was no time to put on shoes, so he chased Knox and followed him
out of the workshop. The ground was cold under his feet, and he slowed
down, worried about stepping on bits of metal or junk, but Knox didn’t
have such concerns and marched forward like a cyborg on a mission to kill.
Most likely, his own sanity, because this fuckery was so typical for him.
As the door to Frank’s home loudly opened and shut, letting Liv know
Knox reached his destination in one piece, he was left with his head full of
thoughts he’d never put together before.
The groundless homophobia.
The low libido.
The way Knox knew how to get women yet always failed to keep them.
The way he submitted to Liv’s touch, coming as if it had been the best
thing that ever happened to him.
Liv stalled, staring at the huge bulldozer parked in the clearing in front of
Frank’s home.
Was his Knox gay?
He only vaguely knew of one openly gay guy in real life before last night,
so he barely had a frame of reference, but the kind of crowd he’d met at this
junkyard made him question his preconceptions. Because if a guy like
Frank could be gay, why not Knox?
The puzzle pieces were falling into place all of a sudden. This would
explain the tension so often present in Knox. The outbursts of anger. The
frustration.
 If Liv were gay and couldn’t get his dick sucked by a hot guy every now
and then, he’d be throwing punches too. And for all Liv knew, he was the
first guy to ever touch Knox this way. To make him come. To kiss him.
If that was what had caused this meltdown, Liv wanted to put an end to it
with his lips, and arms, and with Knox resting in his lap. Because this was
the hottest fucking thing ever, and he needed more. Now. Soon. All the
damn time.
He wanted to learn more about Knox’s body and what it needed.
Inside and out.
Especially inside.
Just knowing that Knox was in Frank’s house with Liv’s cum all over his
abs could make Liv horny enough to fuck again. He wanted to be the cause
of Knox’s shallow breaths and loud moans. He’d find all the things that
made Knox tick and use them in the most delicious ways.
Maybe he was getting ahead of himself, but yeah, he’d fuck Knox’s ass
given half the chance.
Liv took a deep breath of cool air and looked around. There was Frank’s
house, the massive workshop outbuilding, and piles of metal junk on both
sides of a road leading away from the cleared area. It didn’t seem like a
menacing place where evil villains plotted mass murder. Then again, looks
could be deceiving. The bungalow with light gray siding and a neat fenced-
off area with a patio and a wooden bench to sit on while contemplating junk
heaps over morning coffee housed a man who dealt in death.
A loud cackle came from the house, prompting Liv to move on from
contemplating the scenery, because that was the same laughter he’d heard
last night, from the blond guy who’d gleefully put on a biohazard suit and
talked about necrophilia.
Liv didn’t want Knox anywhere around him.
He walked in without knocking, struck by the calming scent of coffee and
oatmeal. Ezra looked at him from the kitchen, where he stirred something in
a big pot, but he was not the danger Liv was worried about.
Dex, the acid-loving stranger, casually took a sip from a cup and waved
at him. “Want coffee? We have more.”
Ezra glared at Liv. “As I was telling your boyfriend, I’d prefer you fucked
without your clothes on. I have better things to do than laundry.”
Knox pulled on his sweatshirt to hide the stain on his pants, but then sat
down to hide his crotch under the table. “Sorry,” he mumbled in a tone so
full of guilt Liv itched to bark at Ezra and get him the fuck off Knox’s back.
Next to him sat a big guy with a crew cut and a leather vest similar to
Dex’s. Tattoos peeked from under the trimmed sides of his hair, and a large
scar cut through his nose and forehead. He exuded danger, but with the cup
of coffee in hand, he seemed relaxed. Like a grenade with its safety pin
attached.
He smirked and clinked his cup with the one meant for Knox. “I get it.
Facing death makes you wanna fuck.”
When he looked up at Liv, his red glass eye glinted with a menacing
spark.
Or Liv was just jealous of any guy sitting this close to Knox.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 11

Knox

‘DO YOU LIKE DICK?’

What kind of question was that? Knox couldn’t get over the audacity of
it. As if Liv hadn’t been the one to start the fucked up dry-humping session.
Now Knox had Liv’s cum drying on his stomach, and all he could think
about was the sight of that cockhead spurting creamy goo onto his skin. He
could deny it all he wanted in terms of logic, but he’d felt what he’d felt.
He’d wrapped his legs around Liv like a cock-hungry slut, sucked on his
tongue and came in his pants without even touching himself.
He’d never felt like that with any girl he’d been with. Sex had always
been something he needed to focus on to get it right, and he usually drifted
off to thinking of porn he’d seen.
But what if he imagined a dick fucking a pussy because it was the dick
that actually turned him on? How could he not know this?
It felt like getting a lobotomy only to discover he had a hole in his head
already.
“Knox?” Ezra snapped his fingers to grab his attention. “Porridge?”
Dex laughed and reached into his backpack, but just as Knox expected
him to reveal a severed head or some other freaky thing, he pulled out a
large box of Lucky Charms. “Or you could have some of my cereal. I add
Coco Pops to it for that pow! Ezra hates tasty shit so I bring my own—”
 Ezra sneered. “My ‘shit’ is extremely flavorful, thank you very much.”
Knox stalled, because his mind refused to work on anything that wasn’t
the image of Liv’s dick sliding back and forth over his stomach and
spreading the hot cum. “I…”
As if to confuse him further, Liv stood behind him and slid his hands
down his collarbones. But then Ezra opened the tall black fridge and it was
as if all the clouds parted for the sun and all the angels blew their trumpets.
Knox had never seen a fridge filled like that. Maybe on TV. Everything
was sorted into containers, and a whole array of cheeses and hams called
his name. Colorful vegetables peeked out at him from inside a clear drawer,
and Ezra’s milk even came in glass bottles labeled Eco Cow.
Would Knox like a bowl of Coco Pops mixed with Lucky Charms?
Yes.
But it was clear as day that what he needed to do for both his and Liv’s
sake, was to get on Ezra’s good side and gain access to his trove of food.
They were broke, homeless, wanted by the cops, and didn’t need to go
hungry on top of that.
“I’ll have the porridge,” he said, painfully aware of Liv stroking his chest.
To all the people around them, they were boyfriends, and that only made
the morning tumble more confusing. There was fabric separating their skin,
but the touch burned, overheating his brain and extinguishing his thoughts
before he could have reached any conclusion.
“Me too. I’m still amazed we get to have hot food again,” Liv added,
resting his chin on Knox’s head. It came so naturally to him. How? Had he
been doing gay stuff behind Knox’s back this whole time? Or worse, had
Liv… always been into him? What then?
The possibility of such a betrayal should have disgusted Knox, but
instead it made him imagine Liv watching him undress and having all sorts
of lusty thoughts about him, without ever alerting Knox to it.
It stirred an odd sensation in his groin, so he closed his thighs, thinking of
a way to escape the hot touch without arousing suspicion.
Dex rolled his eyes as cereal in all colors of the rainbow filled his bowl.
“You guys are dead inside. Cy?” he asked his red-eyed friend.
“Sorry, Dex, I don’t eat baby food,” Cy said with a straight face.
Knox snorted, glancing at the big guy with motorcycle club patches on
his leather vest. One of them said Sergeant-at-arms. But more importantly,
was he gay as well?
 Dex shook his head. “More for me.”
“So is this some kind of gay breakfast club?” Liv wrapped his arms
around Knox’s neck, hugging him from behind as he rested his weight on
Knox’s shoulders. They’d often been casually touchy-feely with each other,
but never like this. Never in this context. Though now Knox was starting to
doubt everything about their relationship. What if Liv had been waiting for
an opportunity like this?
“No, this is just a bunch of vultures descending on my home,” Ezra said
as he placed the big pot of porridge in the middle of the table, though the
corners of his lips twitched as he returned to the counter to fetch some
toppings.
Dex stuffed his face and spoke with his mouth full of cereal. “I brought
Cyborg, ‘cause my uncle told me one of you fucked-up his arm. Cy used to
be a paramedic or something. Either way, he’s good at this stuff, so he’ll
take a look at it for you.”
Cy shifted in his seat, leaning on the table as he took in Knox, his
artificial eye glinting in the sunlight as if it were a little computer analyzing
Knox on a cellular level.
Knox’s body hair bristled when their gazes locked, because he wasn’t
sure if this muscular stranger was assessing his injuries or came here to hunt
him down like the Terminator. He could be cosplaying as the killer robot
without a costume.
“So what happened?” Cy asked as Ezra placed several bowls of fruit,
nuts, and even a jar of honey on the table.
Knox took this opportunity to untangle himself from Liv’s embrace
because it was as cozy as it was confusing. He took off his sweatshirt and
put his arm on the table.
“This guy slashed me open with a machete. You can start eating, Liv,
don’t wait for me.”
“Unless you already got enough protein in the morning,” Dex sniggered,
eating ever faster. “So good.”
Was this really the same guy from last night? Maybe he had a twin
brother? Either way, Knox was not letting his guard down around him just
because he had a cute smile.
Was that a gay thought? How would he know? And if he was gay, would
all his thoughts be gay because they were his?
 Cy shifted closer and tugged on the bandage, revealing the ugly cut on
Knox’s forearm. As he leaned in, touching the flesh around the wound with
big fingers that somehow burned even hotter than Liv’s, his cologne, spicy
and intense, washed over Knox like a magical spell he had no defense
against.
What the hell was going on with him today? Maybe what he did with Liv
had unlocked something inside him that should have never been opened?
Because sure, over the years he’d found many guys attractive. In a normal
way. Like, being jealous of their muscles, or impressed by them. He had
eyes after all. Like anyone else, he could tell if a guy was handsome.
Just like he could tell that Liv was hot. The hottest dude he knew, in fact.
But it didn’t mean he wanted to bang Liv.
Or did he?
He wasn’t sure anymore, and that terrified him on every possible level,
because if he did like dick, what would that mean for him? For them?
Cy’s questions—when did that happen and how did you take care of the
wound—rang in his head, creating a distant echo. Liv stepped in, answering
them all as he piled his bowl high with various toppings. He then picked up
a wooden instrument shaped like a tiny barrel on a stick and eyed it with
suspicion.
“What is this for?”
Ezra, who’d already settled by the table with a bowl of his own, stood up
and took it from him before dipping it in the jar of honey. “Tell me when to
stop,” he said and used the tool to gather honey and then pour it over Liv’s
bowl in Instagram-worthy swirls.
Liv’s eyes shone as he stared at the now-glossy fruit in his dish, but when
he refused to tell Ezra that he had enough, their host made the decision for
him.
“Hell yeah,” Liv said and proceeded to mix everything up into pale gruel.
“I also have chocolate sauce,” Dex offered, but Liv was already trying the
food and relaxed into the chair with a moan so suggestive Knox pressed his
thighs together to contain the sudden jolt in his balls.
This morning had fucked him up, and he didn’t fucking know how to
handle this new reality.
"Can you pour me some?" Knox asked, reaching for his bowl, but then
Cyborg grabbed his chin and forced him to look back at the wound.
"We need to deal with this first, so stop moving."
 And Knox did. In fact, he was so taken aback by Cyborg's confident tug
that he sat still in confused silence, feeling as helpless as when Liv had held
him by the wrists.
The guy broke into his personal space as if it was his God-given right,
and in any other situation Knox’s first response would have been to lash
out. But he couldn’t. Not against the guy who came over to help him.
Cyborg's presence was stoic and confident. It made Knox simmer down
right away, obedient like a well-trained dog. Maybe it was because he
needed to accept the other guy’s superiority and expertise, given the
circumstances?
Cyborg’s good eye, pale gray and intense, met his for way longer than
necessary, as if rules of regular male-male contact did not apply to him.
Knox stilled, feeling his heart speed up, but not because of his illness. He
was… what? Curious? Flattered? Interested?
He’d never given much thought to the possibility of other men finding
him attractive. Such things didn’t happen to guys like him—average,
masculine dudes just minding their own business. Sure, he wanted to be
considered good-looking, took care of himself, tried to dress well, trained to
be good in fights and worked hard to not be some broke-ass loser. So
women would pick him over other men.
But to a gay guy… was he hot?
Liv slapped Cyborg’s hand away from Knox’s face, turning toward them
so abruptly his knee poked Knox’s, setting it on fire. “You need to deeply
gaze into his eyes to have a look at his arm? Unless you’re one of those
quacks who read people’s health from the eyeballs, keep your paws off my
boyfriend’s face.”
Knox’s heart went into overdrive. “My boyfriend”. Yesterday’s joke now
felt almost too real, and he had no idea how he felt about it. Because the
urgent question of whether he liked dick dug holes in his mind like a worm
that wouldn’t stop until it consumed his whole brain.
Most of all though, Liv couldn’t know that Knox was pondering this at
all, so he laughed, playing along. “My face is fine, no need to worry.” And
why was Liv this bothered by another dude touching Knox anyway, if he
was the one to come up with the whole let’s-be-gay thing?
Cyborg shook his head and opened a backpack filled with bandages and
other medical tools. He glanced at Liv. “Maybe you should have looked into
his eyes less when you were patching him up.”
 Dex cackled and poured some honey into his mushy cereal. “Oh, man. I
love me some drama.”
Ezra kept quiet, but Knox had no doubt he was drinking everything up
and would report it to Frank. What. A. Clusterfuck.
Liv swung his arm over Knox’s shoulder, pressing so close his warm
breath teased the back of Knox’s ear. “Oh, I’m the only one with the
instruction manual to this guy, and I know all the buttons to press, don’t you
worry.”
Cy held his gaze, and being stuck between the two powerful presences
made Knox break out in a sweat. Before tension could have triggered his
fight-or-flight response, Cy let go of his hand and pulled out a bottle and
some fresh bandages.
“You did a decent enough job, all things considered, though I wouldn’t
hope for a pretty scar from this King of Stitching of yours,” he said,
pointing out Liv’s handiwork.
Knox felt Liv’s hand ball into a fist against his chest, so he spoke.
“I don’t care how pretty it is. I’m just glad we’re alive after what we’ve
been through the last few days.” After a moment of hesitation, he leaned his
head back and gave Liv a quick kiss on the cheek, hardly believing they’d
made out less than half an hour ago. The morning stubble poked at his lips,
making Knox’s toes curl under the table. Was this kiss for real? He needed
to get a grip on it fast.
Dex nodded. “Yeah, Frank told me you’re, like, wanted by the cops, and
can’t leave, and that you killed some dude with a machete?”
Ezra stilled and rubbed his forehead. “Do we really have to do this at
breakfast?”
Dex shrugged. “I just wanna gather the facts.”
Cyborg stayed quiet as he disinfected Knox’s wound, and he didn’t seem
bothered by these revelations.
“It was an accident. We’re not some psycho murderers!” Knox said to
ease Ezra’s discomfort.
Dex pointed at him with a spoon. “That’s what a psycho murderer would
say.”
Liv hugged Knox to his body and shoveled a spoonful of porridge into
Knox’s mouth. “Some of us joke about fucking corpses as they put people
in acid, others kill in self-defense. We’re all one big family.”
Ezra rolled his eyes. “I see you’re already friends.”
 Knox swallowed the porridge. He’d expected it to be bland, even if
filling, but it tasted like dessert with all that honey, banana, and
strawberries. He gave Ezra a thumbs up before turning his gaze to Dex.
“And no judgment, I’m sure you had your reasons for what happened to
those people. We wouldn’t tell anyone either way.”
Dex smirked, and his brown eyes got a new kind of sharpness. “I know.
Frank said you’re cool.”
“He did?” Knox asked before another spoonful entered his mouth as if he
were Liv’s cuddle toy. Which was maybe… nice?
Dex nodded. “He said he had some work for you and shit, and that you
might need to stay a while, so why not get friendly, you know? And if
worse comes to worst, there’s always acid.” His carefree laughter made
Knox stiffen and worry whether this was a joke or a threat.
But Liv chuckled too and filled Knox’s mouth as the moment it was
empty. “As long as you bury us in one big barrel, so our juices can stay
together.”
Ezra gave a loud sigh. “Look guys, I appreciate that we’re all different,
but that’s enough. I want to keep my food down.”
Dex raised his hands. “Okay, okay, change of topic. You might not be
able to go to many places, but our club”—he turned to show off the massive
Demon Brethren MC patch at the back of his cut—"is having a massive
party to officially open our new location. It’s at this small, disused airport,
there’s a landing strip for racing, we converted one of the hangars into a bar,
and I can assure you there won’t be any cops.”
When Cyborg finished with the bandage, Knox glanced at the neat way it
was wrapped around his arm, and had to admit that while Liv had put all his
care into the dressing, Cy clearly knew what he was doing.
“So we’re not prisoners here?” Knox laughed a bit too nervously for his
own liking.
Liv cleared his throat and fed him again, pulling Knox closer now that he
didn’t need to be in Cy’s reach. He still smelled of the fancy shampoo, and
the scent reminded Knox of being so close to him. Naked.
Cyborg raised his eyebrows. “You got anywhere else to be?”
“We don’t really… have a car,” Liv said.
“And only one set of torn clothes each,” Ezra added. “And an expensive
taste in toiletries. What did you two do with my shampoo last night? Did
you use it to shave or something? Most of it is gone.”
 Fuck. Knox had no idea their crime would be discovered so fast. He
never paid attention to how much he still had in a bottle of shampoo.
“So sorry!” he said with his mouth full. “It… fell over. Just give me the
name and we’ll buy it back.” Had he really joked around about coming on
Liv just yesterday? Well, the joke was on him. As was Liv’s cum.
Ezra gave them a skeptical once over. “With what?”
Liv chuckled so awkwardly, Knox found it almost adorable. “My charm,
as I wash the dishes after we eat?”
Ezra shook his head, but a smile pulled at his lips. “Good answer.”
Liv fed Knox again, and pressed a little kiss to the side of his head. How
was he leaning into all this so easily when Knox’s brain was melting from
overthinking every single interaction they’d ever had?
Only now he glanced at the half-finished bowl of porridge and it hit him
that Liv hadn’t eaten himself. “You can eat now, my arm is fine, I’ll get
myself my own bowl.” Even if he did feel warm and gooey inside over
being coddled a little bit. Their parents failed them, so they took care of one
another instead.
Or was this something Liv now considered his duty? Did he think of
Knox as less manly, less capable, because he’d spread his legs so easily?
That couldn’t be the case. They both did little things for each other
because if they didn’t, who would?
The need to find out whether Knox liked guys for real was becoming
more pressing by the minute, because the answer might change everything,
and Knox wasn’t willing to risk his relationship with Liv to use him as a
guinea pig. They were each other’s only family, and the thought of losing
him over something like this was… it made him choke up with panic, so he
suppressed his raging emotions and took a deep breath.
Cy was staring at him from above a mug of black coffee, his gray-red
gaze penetrating, as if he were searching for clues for some secret puzzle.
Could he be a willing test subject for dick exploration?
Knox wasn’t sure how he’d go about proposing such a thing, but Cy
seemed interested in him. Objectively speaking, he was a handsome guy, if
a bit intimidating. And since he was at least ten years older than Knox, he
should have the experience of how to go about things.
Even thinking about Cy this way was already super gay, but Knox was no
coward, so he’d take the bull by the horns even if the bull was a dick.
 He flinched as the door opened behind him, feeling as if his secret
thoughts had been discovered, but it was just Frank, who entered carrying a
large box that looked small in his massive arms.
“Hey, you. Hungry?” Ezra asked, brightening as he locked eyes with his
partner. “I have the good bacon, if you want savory porridge instead.”
Frank smiled as he took in the scene at the table. “You read my mind.
Three eggs at least.” He dropped the box on the table. “You two lovebirds,
grab yourselves a phone each.”
Knox’s eyes went wide when he glanced into the box filled with what had
to be at least a hundred devices of all kinds. “Um, wow, man, that’s really
generous.”
Frank rolled his eyes. “I’ll add it to your bill, but I need to be able to
contact you.”
“You sure you aren’t secretly a loan shark that will sell our kidneys and
all other organs to the highest bidder?” Liv asked, picking a sturdy Nokia.
Frank followed Ezra to the counter and leaned against it, watching them
with a half-smile. “Well, that will be for you to find out later. For now, I’ve
got jobs for both of you if you want to keep that cozy bed for a while.”
Knox chose an older type of phone as well, in case Frank really did make
them pay for them in the future. “We’ll pay our dues. We’re in a shitty
position right now, but give us a chance, and we’ll work hard for our keep.”
“Yeah, we make a great team,” Liv said before packing his mouth full of
food.
As the bacon sizzled in the pan, Frank stood behind Ezra and kissed his
neck. “Afraid that won’t be happening today. I have different jobs in mind
for you two.”
Knox's stomach sank, because as much as he’d wanted to be away from
Liv to avoid talking about what happened, this… scared him. In the
situation they were in, anything could happen.
Frank rolled his eyes. “Don’t make that face. You can sext on your
breaks, but there’s shit to do, and you’ll get to prove to me that you weren’t
lying about the forklift.”
Knox didn’t know what to say, but Liv seemed to notice his discomfort
and leaned in, whispering. “It’ll be okay. Just remember to take your pills
with you. Just in case.”
Just in case you need to run off to fuck knows where, was the subtext, and
Knox didn’t like it, but unless Ezra was fattening them up to make more
soap out of them, then the people here have proven nice enough so far. For
criminals.
When Dex got up, so did Cyborg. “We’ll be off. Just don’t forget the
party,” Dex said.
Frank frowned. “What party?”
Dex rolled his eyes. “They know. Just because you’re no fun doesn’t
mean others can’t enjoy being alive.”
Liv covered his mouth to hide a smile as he glanced at Knox. His brows
lowered almost instantly, and he leaned in, holding another full spoon of the
porridge on the ready. “So… maybe we could wait for Frank’s instructions
in our bedroom?”
Alarm bells rang in Knox’s head. Liv wanted to talk. And Knox didn’t,
under any circumstances. At least until he figured out if he liked dick or not.
Because anyone could be horny and experiment, but knowing what was
really going on with him would change everything.
“Nah, I can get to it right away. I’m full, I’ll shower, and my old clothes
are here.” He gave Liv a fake smile.
Cyborg nodded at him as he opened the door. “We’ll have some classic
cars at the party, most of them in need of repairs. Might be some extra cash
for you if you prove you know your way around them.”
Knox stilled with the smile plastered to his face, because… was Cy a
good-natured—if stern—guy, looking out for him, or was that flirting? How
did guys even flirt with each other?
Knox had no idea. But he needed to find out if he was to work out if he
liked dick.
ASAP.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 12

Liv

IF FRANK AND EZRA’S suburbia-worthy bungalow looked surprisingly

normal in the junkyard, Shane’s house was somehow both less and more so.
Located on the edge of the fenced-off land, across from the woodland
surrounding Frank’s junkyard from all sides, it was new, well-maintained,
and even had a little orchard planted around it.
But then there were the sculptures. Without exception, they were freaky
as hell.
Twisted creatures of rusted metal, rubber, and plastic were scattered
throughout the garden surrounding the property and guarded the cleared
area around it like Shane’s own robot army. Only that they were made of,
well, junk reclaimed from the artificial mountain range crossing the
scrapyard.
Some were reminiscent of fantastical characters, but even those that were
in some way beautiful unnerved Liv more than he’d like to admit. They
made him think back to that moment when he’d believed Jag to be a statue.
And then Jag had moved and blown into that fucking horn.
Not fun times.
So he chose to focus on the vehicle he’d been asked to look at after a
whole day’s work. Frank had led them to a shipping container filled with
clothes earlier, and each of them got to pick some stuff to wear, but Liv
hadn’t seen Knox since, and it was gradually crumbling his patience.
Back at home, they often did their own thing, sometimes not seeing each
other for days at a time if one of them stayed with a girlfriend. But in this
new, perilous situation, not knowing where Knox was and whether he was
safe was making Liv itch.
Still, they both needed to prove their worth if they were to stay here and
wait for the whole thing with Vladdy to blow over, so he turned his
attention to the car. A well-maintained Ford Mustang from the eighties, it
was quite the stunner with a metallic purple body and pale leather
upholstery. Nothing to sniff at, even though it wasn’t optimized for speed.
“So… what exactly is the problem?” he asked, flinching when the tail of
Shane’s Pitbull, Cerberus, smacked the back of his leg. Damn, he hated
being surprised like that. Especially by a dog that could either wag its tail at
him or bite off half his calf.
Shane sighed and sat in a swing made out of a tire. He lit himself a
cigarette. “I don’t know, you’re the expert. It’s making weird noises in the
engine, like a raspy growl.”
Cerberus grabbed a discolored tennis ball from the ground and brought it
to Shane, huffing with excitement. Shane might have been acting all relaxed
as he threw the ball for his pet, but he kept watching Liv, and it didn’t feel
like being checked out. Nope, Shane was assessing him. For his usefulness?
As a potential threat? Fuck knew, but after Frank and Ezra, Shane was
another person on whose good side Liv needed to be.
“This is a really good-looking car. And you said that it makes weird
noises when it starts and during acceleration?” he asked, trying to act
casual, despite having no doubt whatsoever that the big pittie wasn’t here
just to play with its owner. He’d met enough insecure fucks with big dogs to
know the animals could become a threat real fast. A very well trained dog
could be the perfect addition to anyone’s life, but also a great weapon.
Considering the kind of stuff that went on in the junkyard after dark, Liv
wouldn’t be surprised if all of Shane’s dogs were trained to kill on
command.
Well, other than Eros, a small and strange dog that looked like a Corgi-
shaped Husky. That one was so excited to hump Liv’s leg when they’d
arrived that Shane had to lock him in the house.
 Liv had also seen several young Rottweilers playing in a fenced-off yard
and he could imagine them going for the jugular at the snap of Shane’s
fingers. The van outside the house advertised dog training services, so Liv
figured it had to be Shane’s other job.
Shane reached for the ball when Cerberus fetched, and threw it again,
watching the dog speed up before the piece of rubber even flew into the air.
“Yeah. I heard it maybe once. It’s my partner’s car.”
Liv cleared his throat, eager for this thread of normalcy. “Oh? What’s his
name?
“Ros. He made all the sculptures you’re seeing around us.”
Sculptures. A vintage purple car. Ros clearly had an artistic personality.
Liv left the engine alone for now and squatted to assess the chassis.
“When will I get to meet him?”
Shane gave a dark laugh. “I’ll consider it when you’re housetrained.”
Liv rolled his eyes but didn’t let Shane see it, because he and Knox were
playing the long game, so there was no point getting worked up on day one.
He took off his hoodie and stayed in a well-fitting T-shirt as he turned his
back to Shane and opened the hood of the car. So maybe it was a weird
thing to consider, but if looking hot could earn him some brownie points, he
was ready to milk it.
“You’re not afraid he’s building them to one day take over the world?”
Shane chuckled, which was a sign that Liv managed to make a chip in his
menacing wall of suspicion. “Nah, I’m more afraid one of the big ones falls
on a dog, but I’m practical like that, so he can enjoy his fantasy world. Did
you two leave any pets behind?”
Liv shook his head. “No. It’s just me and him. Nothing we had was
important enough to risk going back. I’m happy our faces aren’t in every
news outlet though. Maybe it’ll just quiet down with time.”
“What if it doesn’t? You in the market for new IDs?”
“Wow, you work at the junkyard, train dogs, and forge papers? That’s
quite the portfolio for someone your age,” Liv said, going down the friendly
compliment route. He needed this guy to like him if he was to stay out of
prison and keep an eye on Knox in the long-term.
He had to move to the other side of the car to reach a different part of the
engine, and he was pretty sure that when he faced Shane, the guy quickly
looked away from his ass. Or Liv was just projecting. This whole gay thing
was a minefield, and he was no minesweeper.
 “I wish. But no, I just know a guy. He could even get you two a marriage
certificate,” Shane said with a smirk as he exhaled smoke from a cigarette.
Liv chuckled, because that was ridiculous.
He and Knox worked so well together over the years, but while this new
attraction put a new filter on every single interaction from the past, he was
very far from contemplating things like marriage. Not because they’d only
just kissed for the first time—something Shane didn’t need to know—but
also because, well, marriage had never been something on Liv’s radar. Not
once in his life had he been with a girl who made him feel like pouring all
his savings into a piece of jewelry to then drop to one knee and risk his
future on another person’s whim. He was free as a bird and there was no
one in this world he wanted at his side forever.
But just as those thoughts passed through his mind, seemingly as fleeting
as a summer breeze, his own words came back to him with great force. A
sentence he’d said so many times.
It’s just gonna be the two of us. Me and you. Knox and Liv.
He’d always meant that, just not… in quite that way. But for Shane’s
benefit, he chuckled. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
Shane cocked his head and passed Liv a wrench. “Not that sure of him?”
Cerberus joined Liv at the front of the car, wagging his tail and putting
his front paws on the bumper, but his cute face could not ease the
annoyance in Liv’s heart. Because who was Shane to judge someone else’s
relationship? Especially someone whose rings looked more like knuckle
dusters than a wedding band.
“I am. This is the person I’ll be swapping illness tidbits with when we’re
both old and gray, and who will help me get out of bed when my back gives
out. But what’s a marriage certificate if you can’t have the whole shebang,
with a party and the best clothes I can afford? Besides, I haven’t proposed
yet.”
There. Maybe that could gain Liv even more gay-sympathy.
Shane whistled, and the dog ran back to him. “Okay. I see. So you’re the
one who proposes.”
Judging by his tone, there was a double meaning to his words. Good
thing that Liv could fix this car in his sleep, because focusing would have
been a struggle right now. But as he started tightening the cover that had
gotten loose and might be the cause of the sounds Shane had described, it
occurred to him that this was the perfect opportunity to gain information
one-on-one. While it was embarrassing as hell to talk about private stuff
with this stranger, Liv had leverage as long as his hands were on Ros’s car.
So he’d take his sweet time.
“You know, this whole gay thing is a bit new to me. I feel like there’s
something you’re trying to say, but I’m not sure what that is.”
Shane gave him a quizzical glance as he scooted to pet his dog’s muzzle.
It made Liv wonder if he baby-talked to Cerberus when they were alone,
because tough guy Shane would probably not want to be seen doing that.
“Okay… I was suggesting you top?”
This term Liv was familiar with. “Well, yeah. I just don’t know much of
the terminology, since me and Knox, we… have known each other forever
but only gotten together recently.”
“Young love. How cute,” Shane said as if he were at least a hundred, not
somewhere in his thirties. “Breaks so easily. Then again, give him a good
dicking, and he’ll stick around. Can’t really put your face on Grindr when
you’re a fugitive.”
That was… unnecessarily hostile. Not to mention that Liv hadn’t
managed to exchange words with Knox since their hot dry humping sesh, so
everything about this hung in the air, evading his grasp. “Is that how you
keep your boyfriend in a place with dead bodies planted everywhere around
him? Dating guys sounds way easier than dating girls,” Liv said, not even
attempting to remove doubt from his voice.
Shane threw the ball again and shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. Never had
any interest in girls. As for my boyfriend, yeah, it can be quite effective.”
He gave Liv a cocky wink, yet it didn’t feel genuine. Maybe gay guys liked
to talk big just as much as any other dude.
“Thought so. I bet this newly improved car will get him in the mood,”
Liv said, placing the tools back in the box and wiping his hands on a rag.
“A cover was loose. It shouldn’t make any unnecessary noise anymore. Just
the sweet rumble of the engine that we know and love.”
If only working out Knox were this easy. Liv used to think he knew Knox
inside out. His moods and sense of humor. What he liked to eat, and what
pills he needed to take. But now it seemed he’d been missing vital pieces of
information.
“Thanks. I think we deserve a beer,” Shane said as if he’d done anything,
but in fairness, it was a nice gesture on his part. Especially since the day
was coming to an end, and Liv deserved some rest.
 As soon as Shane turned to get beers from his home, Liv leaned against
the hood of the car and checked his phone. He and Knox had exchanged a
few messages throughout the day, but it was their typical shit about being
tired. Or that Frank got a fancy packed lunch. Or that Liv’s T-shirt had
gotten so dirty he had to get another one, and his new one was some vintage
Harvard college top. Or that Knox wished they had a TV, because he didn’t
want to die without knowing how Narcos ended. An hour later he’d sent Liv
a photo of several broken TVs in a pile of junk with the annotation: RIP.
So he wasn’t ignoring Liv.
He just didn’t say that he couldn’t wait for Liv to come on his abs again.
He was acting as if it hadn’t happened, even though he’d been just as
aroused as Liv had.
The newest message from Knox said:
[You wanna go to that biker party tonight?]
Another excuse to be around other people. Liv might not be a brainiac,
but he saw Knox’s attempts at avoiding him for what they were, and it was
starting to grate at his confidence. If Knox wasn’t happy about what they’d
done, then he should fucking be a man about it and say so rather than dance
around the subject and flee any opportunity they might have at talking in
private.
So no, Liv did not want to go to the party.
[Too tired. We should have an early night. Found out some stuff and want
to share,] he said, hoping that would be enough of an incentive to lure Knox
home.
But he wasn’t sure how he’d feel if Knox told him he didn’t want to
experiment anymore. Especially when they slept together in a single bed
and had acted touchy-feely in front of the other guys. It wasn’t like they
could suddenly stop.
Liv stared at the screen but seeing the word typing… linger for a while
only to disappear was making his hair bristle. He’d never been with a
woman who could get him into this state of anticipation. He’d always been
chill, charming, didn’t give a fuck, and found hooking up with new women
easy, especially since there were plenty of ladies who were up for an affair
or a one-night-stand and didn’t want to overcomplicate things.
But this fucked up situation with Knox? Even the stakes of leaving
behind a dead body in California felt less pressing.
 By the time Shane handed him a cold beer, Liv’s messages were still on
read. The fuck was Knox playing at?
Shane leaned against the hood next to Liv, which meant that the phone
needed to go back into his pocket. Not out of courtesy, but because Liv
didn’t want Shane to get a glimpse of his screen. Their conversation and
successful car repair seemed to have put the other man in a better mood,
and he clinked his bottle with Liv’s as they looked at the sun setting over
piles of rusting junk and covering everything in an orange glow.
“You mentioned dead bodies planted all around,” Shane started on his
own. “It’s not really like that. This is a working junkyard, not a cemetery.
We have connections with a few people who need a bit of an extra service,
and it helps prop up the place’s finances, but most days we do what you did
today. Dispose of rotting furniture, take apart computers for scrap, or
refurbish a fridge.”
“Do all the workers know?” Liv asked, putting the icy bottle against his
forehead after having a sip from it.
“Yep. More or less. Everyone who lives on this land, and this is a big
area. Plus Dex, Frank’s nephew. He used to live here. Him and the bikers
from the Demon Brethren MC know. For Jag, it’s his natural habitat, he
doesn’t leave much.” Shane snorted and shook his head.
“He’s the weird guy? In the armor, right? What’s his deal?” Liv asked,
jumping on the opportunity to get more information out of his new drinking
buddy.
“He’s…” Shane drifted off and had more beer, as if he needed time to put
his thoughts into words. “Jag didn’t grow up in a normal place. His family
was some kind of self-sufficiency prepper cult in the woods. I don’t know
all the details, but I’m pretty sure him running away had something to do
with him being gay. He got here on foot from fuck knows where. He
doesn’t even know which state his family lived in. But when he made his
way here, he was half-dead, half-feral. Frank told me, because I was locked
up when that happened. Frank took him in and gave him a place where
his… let’s say ‘skills’ are of use.” Shane smirked and pointed to the horizon
filled with piles of junk. “This is Jag’s kingdom, and I have to give it to him
that he knows this place better than even Frank. And… he’s okay, when
you’re not a trespasser.”
“Duly noted,” Liv said and cleared his throat, focusing on the fact that his
phone still hadn’t buzzed. “So… if he’s gay, you guys are coupled up, and
he doesn’t leave, who is he fucking?”
Shane snorted. “Well, he used to fuck his hand for many years, which is
probably what made him so feral, but he met a guy who’d wandered in
here, and let’s say… claimed him. They live on the other side of the
junkyard because he believes that’s a good spot for patrolling. All I’m
saying is, be glad you didn’t wander in when he was single.”
That was… disturbing, but Liv smiled regardless. “He’s safe as long as he
keeps his hands off my man.”
My man. Such an odd thing to say, yet the words felt good on his tongue,
like a tasty chewing gum he hoped would never lose its flavor. He had been
watching gay porn and was turned on by it. So maybe it was weird that he’d
never sought out a guy to try things out in real life, but with plenty of girls
falling into his lap, it was very easy not to rock the boat. But now that
fucking Knox was a possibility, his brain flared with fantasies he’d never
trusted himself to entertain.
Shane took a big gulp of beer. “Nah, he won’t, as long as Knox doesn’t
try to steal his meat. He’s very territorial about it.” He rolled his eyes. “Yet
for some reason thinks it’s perfectly okay to take as much as he wants from
a barbecue, since it’s ‘unprotected’.”
“Ha, in that case I will need to set up traps once I get Knox to do his
magic. He is the meat king, my friend,” Liv said, making a broad gesture
with his hand. “Will a nice meal be enough, or will I need to go through
some sort of initiation in order to work with you guys long-term?”
“You’ve had your initiation yesterday, and you didn’t piss your pants, so
consider yourself on probation. And by the way? Dex claimed to be the
Ramen King for years, but only learned to make it from scratch lately, so
I’ll believe Knox’s meat skills when I see them. I’m willing to invest a few
pounds of ground beef though.”
And speaking of the devil, Liv’s phone vibrated, and he plucked it out of
his pocket as if it was in need of air. What he saw on the screen powered a
bomb their encounter this morning had planted. And now it was about to go
nuclear.
[I’ll be going to the party, so don’t wait up. I’ll probably be back late.
Don’t worry if I don’t answer, my shitty phone is dying.]
Shane cleared his throat after Liv didn’t answer him for a long time.
“Everything all right?”
 It took several seconds for Liv to calm the fire burning in the pit of his
stomach, because he knew he wasn’t being reasonable. Knox and he
weren’t joined at the hip, and while it pissed him off that his—whoever they
were to each other in this weird limbo—didn’t want to talk about something
that couldn’t be ignored, maybe Knox just needed time to think. If that was
the case, chasing him down would be the worst thing he could do.
A cornered Knox lashed out. Like that time when Liv had confronted him
over the strange case of strawberry marshmallows. Liv had found them in
the cupboard under the TV, and Knox had said his girlfriend must have left
them there. Only that the next time Liv had found them, there was no
girlfriend to speak of. So… maybe Liv made fun of Knox liking a baby
pink treat and hiding that fact from him. Which, in hindsight, was a shitty
thing to tease him about. But the whole ordeal ended up with a broken TV,
melted pink marshmallows all over Liv’s bed, and a narrowly avoided fire
in their trailer.
So he took a big gulp from his bottle and shrugged.
“Knox is going to that biker party.”
“Oh…” Shane hummed as if he had something more to say. “I guess he is
the Meat King then,” he added cryptically, only adding fuel to Liv’s fire.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Liv snapped, already so on edge the
phone creaked in his hand when he squeezed it.
Shane spread his arms. “I’m just saying that Dex told me Knox asked him
if Cyborg was single.”
What was that gnawing, inescapable sensation that started deep in Liv’s
stomach and soon spread up his gullet, all the way to the throat? It felt like
nausea, only no stomach issue had ever made him want to grab a baseball
bat and smash everything around him to pieces. As red filled his vision, all
he wanted was to rip into the pretty upholstery of Ros’s car, crush the
windows, and then jump straight into a fire for a bit of cooldown.
What the hell did that mean? Was Knox gay and just didn’t find Liv
attractive enough? It definitely wasn’t about Liv’s dick, because he knew
his worth in that department. Was it the diastema? Were his lips too wide?
His nose too big for pretty boy Knox?
He had all the right to pick and choose, looking like that, but after
everything they’d been through together, he should be a gentleman about it
and say it to Liv’s face instead of going after another guy behind his back.
“Oh.”
 Or was this some fucked up revenge for Amanda?
Impossible, after the last few days. And in Amanda’s own words, Knox
didn’t seem that much into her, so why would he care? He’d seemed at
peace in Liv’s embrace in the morning, eating porridge from his hand, and
had even given Liv a fucking kiss. In front of everyone.
Shane clicked his tongue. “From what you said so far, I gather you guys
aren’t open?”
“We haven’t really discussed it,” Liv forced out and had another swig
from the bottle, but the beer wasn’t enough. He needed something stronger,
or he’d go on a rampage.
This bothered him so much more than when Knox got his first girlfriend,
Susannah, and ditched their basketball practice for a month. Or when he’d
won concert tickets and took Tammy instead of Liv. Or when he’d started
suggesting Amanda could be The One so frequently Liv decided to do a
wooing intervention to prove to Knox she was not worth his time.
Those things had annoyed him, but it kinda made sense that Knox would
spend time with a girlfriend. This? This was a full-on competition, and he
was losing it to some dick Knox met today?
Shane raised his eyebrows. “And you’re just gonna let that slide?”
It was like a red cloth wiggled in front of a bull. He finished the beer and
didn’t toss the bottle to the ground only because he didn’t want to make an
enemy out of this new… maybe-friend by breaking glass in his yard.
“Fuck no,” he said and chose Knox’s number, but just as he sucked in air
to give the sneaky bastard a piece of his mind, a robotic voice told him the
phone he was trying to reach wasn’t available.
Fuck. Had Knox’s phone died?
This time he did raise his arm, still holding the bottle, and restrained the
urge to smash it in the last possible moment.
“You need to take me there,” he told Shane.
Shane sighed but was already pulling out his car keys. “Fine. But if Ros
asks, I was the one who fixed the car.”
Liv nodded and shook his hand. “Done.”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 13

Knox

KNOX WAS ON HIS first beer but was already into the vibe of the party.
Coming here made him feel as if the last few days had been a bad dream. If
it wasn’t for the chill in the air, he could have imagined he was back in
California, at a cool new biker bar out of town.
There was only one thing missing. Liv.
But even back at home it wasn’t as though they went everywhere
together. Most places, sure, but not always.
And if he was to go through with his plan tonight, he needed to be on his
own, away from Liv’s fake boyfriend schtick and whatever else his morning
experimentation was about.
To say he was nervous would be an understatement.
Dex had given him a lift earlier, but quickly left Knox to his own devices
after introducing him to a few people, then saying he’d go get a beer, only
to never be seen again.
Which was fair enough. Knox wasn’t a baby who needed to be coddled.
He could find his own way. Easy.
The compound belonging to the biker club was out of town, on a flat bit
of land that used to serve as an airport. The former landing strip had been
taken over by custom motorcycles and tuned cars currently illuminated by
rows of oil drums blazing with flames. Five hangars stood side by side on
one end of the runway, but only the ones remodeled into a bar and garage
were accessible to everyone. The remaining three buildings had been locked
away behind a sturdy fence and marked with signs stating: Demon Brethren
MC property. Do not enter.
A pretty girl in a dress that barely covered her ass pranced onto the strip,
and moments later, two engines roared. Cars shot past her and into the
darkness like rockets. Blood ran faster in Knox's veins at the smell of
gasoline, but the race once again made Knox think about Liv. Because he’d
never been to one without him. In fact, whenever he stood on his own,
watching vehicles rush toward the finish line, it was because Liv was
behind the wheel, driving a car Knox helped him fix up.
Seeing Liv take off like a madman was always as exhilarating as it was
terrifying. Because Liv had been in a few minor crashes, and while he
always landed on his feet like a cat, sometimes Knox worried Liv’s nine
lives might one day run out.
A man as cool and reckless as Liv should have at least ninety.
Knox hissed when both cars turned at the far off end of the landing strip,
their tires squealing like feral animals. The purple one’s color vaguely
reminded Knox of their modified Subaru Impreza. To think that beautiful,
beloved vehicle was now lost in the depths of the reservoir and would never
again race pained him more than was reasonable.
When the cars zoomed past him for the finish line, the green Honda
swerved toward the crowd. His stomach sank, as if he were about to drop
on the Dive Coaster, but this situation wasn’t designed to scare anyone for
pleasure. Voices rose, a woman fell to the asphalt, as others tried to evade
the charging vehicle. Just before impact, the driver regained control and
stopped a few yards past them.
Knox ran up to the fallen woman and pulled her up as the other people
who’d barely missed being run over erupted with applause.
“That was close,” shouted someone as the driver, a young dude with a
bald head, emerged and raised his fist.
“How many of you pissed your pants?”
“Jesus Christ! Who let him on the asphalt!” Knox said to the guy drinking
a beer right next to him, but the stranger shrugged, watching Knox from
above, since he had a few inches on him. Fucker.
“If you’re scared of a bit of adrenaline, don’t come next time.”
 The girl disappeared from Knox’s side, and when he spotted her, she was
chatting up one of the club prospects as if she hadn’t almost lost her legs.
Knox turned to the dude next to him with a scowl. “Let me in that car and
I’ll show you what adrenaline means.” As if he wasn’t stressed enough
already, now he needed to deal with some dumbass.
The stranger offered him a shark grin and dug his teeth into his lip,
pushing back his longish brown hair. “Are you high, or something?
Nobody’s gonna let a nobody from nowhere anywhere near their car. You
look like you should still play with Barbie dolls, so leave the racing to men,
yeah?”
Knox didn’t think. He punched. The advantage of surprise was always a
bonus, but he would soon find out whether this dude was as bold with his
fists as he was with his mouth.
The guy took the hit, but kept himself upright, and when he swung back,
Knox was ready for him. He would not be disrespected. He evaded the
punch at the last second and kicked the bastard’s side.
“How’s this for fucking adrenaline?” he yelled, narrowly avoiding the
guy’s attack.
Fucker had long arms so when Knox fell back to avoid the hand swinging
at his face, he still got scratched on the cheek, and the hard rock blasting
from the speakers became an anthem of war.
He grabbed the guy by the hair, because he wasn’t below shitty moves,
and punched his face, feeling something shift in the bastard’s nose. When
the guy tried to claw at him again, Knox let go, then kicked him in the
stomach.
He was deaf to the yelling around them, too focused on the blood
pounding in his ears, and as soon as the asshole was down, it was game on.
Knox jumped him like a wolf at the first taste of blood, and rained down
punches, straddling his chest in a well-practiced move that kept the guy’s
arms down.
The fist that crashed into the side of his head and made his skull drum
came out of nowhere. It managed to blindside him enough that the two pairs
of arms dragging him away remained faceless as the world spun.
Through the fog that had settled on his eyes, he saw his opponent pulled
up by a huge dude in a red hoodie.
“Let go and fight me!” he yelled at the guys dragging him, and he writhed
against them like a goat on steroids, painfully aware that this would usually
be when Liv arrived with reinforcements.
Spectators turned into meaningless shadows, because there were now
four guys against him, and he’d pissed them off enough to ensure they
wouldn’t go easy on him. Blood rushed to his limbs, and he attempted to
twist away from the double grip. When one of his arms was tugged on hard,
he realized that the man holding onto it was ready to dislocate his shoulder
if he didn’t surrender to the beating about to commence.
He’d fucked up. His anger had gotten the best of him, and no one would
want him once he lost his teeth during the ordeal coming his way.
There had been a moment when he could have slipped out of the hold. He
should have run then. And to make matters worse, his heart started
pounding all too fast, pumping blood harder than it should. He clenched his
eyes, breathing deeply in a desperate, if useless, bid to calm down, because
he was not fainting here.
Despite the frantic drumming in his chest, his gaze focused at last, just as
the fucker who slighted him wiped blood off his mouth, staring Knox’s way
like a predator that knew it had its victim cornered. The cool air seemed to
thicken when he spat and showed Knox a mean grin. He raised his fist, and
—
“I see you already met my new friend,” someone said in a voice as calm
as it was imposing, and the punch that might have KOd Knox didn’t land.
It took him painful seconds to realize he recognized the voice coming
from somewhere behind him. Okay. So maybe his teeth would stay in his
jaw, because the patches on Cy’s vest spoke volumes even to those who
didn’t know him personally.
The guy whose nose was already swelling from Knox’s punch glanced at
Cyborg with a sour expression. “Seriously? This little shit is under your
protection?”
Knox grinned and licked the blood off his teeth. “I told you not to fuck
with me.” He didn’t, but it sounded good.
“That’s enough. Scram,” Cyborg said, standing right next to Knox, and
for the very first time it was clear how tall this mofo was. Surely over six-
foot-five, he towered over everyone else, outgrowing even the dude in the
red hoodie Knox had already identified as dangerous. At five-ten, Knox was
no hobbit, but damn.
The crowd dispersed, as if pushed away by a spell only Cy knew, but
while the bleeding fuckface remained tense, the two pairs of hands let go of
Knox, leaving him to stand on his own.
“Well?” Cy asked, regarding Knox’s opponent, perfectly relaxed.
The guy took a deep breath, took another glance at the ‘Sergeant-at-arms’
patch on Cyborg’s vest, and exhaled. “He needs a muzzle, ‘cause he’s
rabid,” he said in the end, but didn’t dare spit at Knox’s shoes before
walking away.
Knox put his palms against his forehead. “Fuuuck,” he groaned. Way to
make an impression. Though what did he know? Maybe in the gay world
shit like this was hot? He definitely considered the respect Cy was treated
with impressive.
But with the uneasy feeling settling in his chest, Knox dove for his pill
bottle and rolled one onto his hand while Cy’s muscular form loomed on the
outskirts of his vision like an NPC waiting to be approached by the main
character. But as Knox raised his hand, about to swallow his meds, Cy
grabbed his forearm, keeping it from going anywhere near his mouth.
“What is that?”
Knox stilled and looked up, a bit dazed. Cy’s face was made so strange
by the red glass eye. It reflected the light of the nearby fire differently than
the gray one, almost as if it glowed from the inside.
But Knox was no pussy. He’d come here with a purpose, and he was
pretty sure he’d gotten a vibe from Cy at breakfast. So yeah, Knox would be
test-riding Cy’s dick tonight given half the chance. He had to know.
Only that now, faced with this massive guy with fingers made of steel, he
wasn’t so sure how he’d feel under him. It would be nothing like the horny
safety of Liv’s arms. His best friend’s easy, self-satisfied smile. His eager
kisses—
A part of him felt like shit over lying to Liv and shutting down his phone
to cut him off for the night, but their friendship was the most precious thing
in Knox’s life, and every step past the boundary of what it had been before
yesterday felt like doom. There were many things he could risk, including
himself. But not Liv. Never Liv.
“It’s my meds,” he mumbled, because he hated talking about it. “I’ve got
this heart thing. Promise I’m not getting high.”
Cy watched him with calm interest, but the hold of his fingers loosened,
and Knox swallowed the pill dry.
“You can have beer?” he asked, showing him a full bottle.
 Knox smiled, hoping the scratch on his face wasn’t too off-putting.
“Yeah, just shouldn’t smoke.” He wanted to add, ‘around Liv’, because Liv
was the one who always worried about it, as if Knox was some precious
porcelain doll. But he wasn’t born yesterday. If he wanted to flirt with Cy,
the topic of Liv wasn’t on the agenda. “Then again… what doesn’t kill you,
makes you stronger.” He winked at Cy and grabbed the beer.
“Doubt being beaten up by those four would have made you any stronger.
You aren’t one for strategy, are you?” Cy asked, starting to walk toward an
area where lots of Harley Davidsons were parked in a row, like soldiers
ready for action.
Knox sighed and followed his lead. He should be offended, but he
deserved that one. “Thanks for saving my ass. Dude pissed me off.”
When he ran his hand through his hair, it became obvious he’d lost his
hairband in the process. Fuck. He just hoped the loose hair didn’t make him
look too girly. His dad used to call him doll face when it got too long. He
could have cut it short of course, but he did like it that way, so as a
compromise with himself, he wore it in a short ponytail most of the time.
“I could sense that,” Cy said and leaned against a massive black chopper,
which likely belonged to him. He looked right at home next to it. “You
often get so temperamental?”
Knox shrugged, itching to touch the motorcycle, so he stood closer.
“What can I say? I’m a loose cannon. I just saw the way that dude swerved
at the end of the race, and it pissed me off.”
Despite the casual nature of the conversation, he couldn’t stop assessing
Cyborg from his steel toe cap boots, to the tidy crew cut with tattoos
crawling right under the fade at the sides of his head. He seemed quite
polished with his cargo pants tucked into his boots, and the tight black T-
shirt with no pattern worn under the vest with club colors.
But was Knox ready to fuck him? And how would that even work?
Would they be sucking each other’s dicks first? Did he want a guy’s hands
on him? If he needed to ask himself those questions, then maybe he wasn’t
that gay. On the other hand, he could just be getting cold feet because shit
was getting too real. This dude was massive, had a presence that made
people step out of his way, and he probably wanted an easy fling. The
solution was for Knox to bullshit his way through this, avoid telling him
that he’d never before had sex with another guy, and just take whatever Cy
had to give. But what if he decided it wasn’t for him after all? It wasn’t like
he could back out mid-fuck. Not with this guy.
“There will be other races. We plan a big one in December, complete with
a neat sum of money for the winner,” Cy said, sipping his beer while his
gaze trailed down Knox’s body without an ounce of shame.
“Anyone can enter?” Knox gulped down half his beer for courage. “Don’t
wanna brag, but I’ve got experience with racing cars.” Don’t talk about Liv.
Don’t add that he’s a great driver. “Is this your bike?” he asked about the
pristine Harley and stepped closer.
“You may touch it. A prospect polished it just a few hours ago,” Cy said
in a tone that went straight to Knox’s dick, because it sounded like an
invitation to touching something much warmer than metal.
A stupid grin bloomed on Knox’s face as he ran his fingers over the
handle and gave Cy a sneaky glance. “Oh, yeah? What else did he polish?”
There. He was gay-flirting.
Cy’s real eye darkened, and he leaned in, lowering his voice so much
Knox needed to step closer to hear him over the music. “Same thing I want
you to polish later tonight. But there’s a bit of an issue with that, isn’t
there?”
Knox licked his lips as his brain melted. Maybe he’d over-flirted. Was he
ready to take a guy’s dick in his mouth? Do the thing he’d in the past told
other people to do if he wanted them to piss off?
It felt as if his lips moved on autopilot, independently of his conflicted
mind. “Nah. Me and Liv… we’re open to new… experiences. He just
doesn’t wanna see it.”
Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit.
Cy’s brows rose, and for a moment Knox sizzled like meat on a hot grill,
but then the massive biker smiled and knocked their bottles together. “You
wanna move this somewhere more private?” he asked as his thick arm
rested on Knox’s shoulders, exuding the same delicious scent it had in the
morning.
Now that he didn’t perceive every move from a guy as an attack on his
masculinity he needed to counter, he had to admit that yeah, it felt good to
have that heavy arm on his shoulders. It somehow triggered both
excitement and a sense of safety, just like when Liv had hugged him at
breakfast.
Maybe he had unresolved daddy issues.
 He had to take a deep breath because his heart started rattling when he
glanced down at the front of Cy’s pants. Could he really kneel and get this
dude off?
Knox shivered, overwhelmed by the magnitude of what his answer might
mean, but before he opened his mouth, a familiar voice cut into the
blooming desire and turned it into a toxic cloud that should have never
come into existence.
“Cyborg, you’re a really swell guy, aren’t you? Making sure my
boyfriend doesn’t get too cold while I’m not around.”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 14

Liv

THE SMELL OF GASOLINE was thick in the air, but when Liv emerged
from Shane’s car, all he could think of was the fact that Knox didn’t seem to
want him here. Which meant that he’d purposefully left him behind. And
Liv wouldn’t have that. Not before they talked. Not when their survival
depended on keeping up the illusion of being a happy couple. This was
just… not on. Not something a friend should do.
A mean-looking bastard in a red hoodie pushed past him alongside a dude
with a bleeding face and two other guys, but Liv ignored them, and walked
straight past the modded vehicles where a small crowd had gathered around
their drivers. He headed straight for one of the nearby hangars, which
blasted loud music and had people going in and out as if the entrance was a
highway. Fuck. He already saw at least a hundred people, and there had to
be more inside. Not to mention that some other structures were warded off
as club property that he couldn’t just stride into if he wanted to keep his
head! How was he to find Knox before…
Before what?
“You just missed a lot of noise, Shane,” someone called out, but Liv
ignored them and pressed on until Shane grabbed his arm and yanked him
back.
 He wanted to roar at his new friend for stalling him when their reason to
be here was so very urgent. But then he saw motorcycle club colors on the
chest of a tall man with shoulder-long brown hair, a scar on his lip, and
hammers tattooed on both forearms. The man sucked on a cigarette and
tapped a box of smokes that stuck out of his pocket, but Shane wordlessly
declined.
“Hammer. Having a good time tonight, I see?”
The stranger shrugged. “Bit too busy for my taste. But it is what it is.”
“You seen your sergeant anywhere?” Shane asked.
Liv shifted his weight, but he got the point. Shane’s biker buddy was
more likely to know where Cy was, and asking him was more sensible than
Liv running around like a headless chicken.
Hammer gave Liv a level glance that expressed nothing. “He’s keeping
busy, just broke up a fight. I’m pretty sure he went to see his ride after that.”
Shane grinned and gave Hammer’s arm an appreciative tap, then stepped
away, heading right past the busy hangar.
“I think the hogs should be just about he—” Shane started only to stop
speaking when the row of bikes came into view.
Liv’s heart stopped too, because right under a lamp casting a sickly glow
on all the vehicles was Cyborg’s massive form. And right next to it—
uncomfortably close—stood Knox.
Liv half-expected Shane to hold him back when he stepped toward the
two men, but it didn’t happen, so he walked to the drumming rhythm of
AC/DC’s ‘Highway to Hell’. Knox looked up at Cy like some shy maiden
when the bastard’s arm rested on his shoulders.
The ground had been burning wherever Liv stepped already, but this was
too much.
“Cyborg, you’re a really swell guy, aren’t you? Making sure my
boyfriend doesn’t get too cold while I’m not around.”
He’d barely started speaking and Knox’s head whipped his way, blue
eyes wide as saucers, pouty lips parted, because he fucking knew he got
caught red-handed. The fuck was this even? Was this… did this count as
cheating? Nobody cheated on Liv, and while he and Knox were friends
who’d fucked around one time, the stabbing deep inside consumed his
insides like a piranha.
Was it possible Knox had fucked around with guys before, and Liv had
simply never found out? He did have a few friends he trained kickboxing
with, and Liv wasn’t with him twenty-four/seven. Maybe he’d acted so
nervous after their morning tumble because he’d given in to Liv, not
because he’d never been with a guy.
Then again, why would he have made those stupid homophobic jokes last
night? To cover his tracks?
And what the fuck were those scratches on his face?
“You didn’t say you were coming,” Knox said after a long pause, pulling
away from Cyborg as if he could pretend nothing happened.
“I called, but your phone lost juice. Can’t have you walking around
unsupervised, or something like this will happen.” Liv let his thumb pass
over the scratch, which looked pretty minor.
Cyborg’s not-dead eye squinted at Liv. Oh, he was pissed. He moved his
arm off Knox like a good boy but didn’t appreciate being cockblocked.
“Lucky I was there to deal with it.”
Knox pushed away Liv’s hand, and for that to happen in front of Cyborg?
That shit stung. “I can handle myself.”
Liv wasn’t often speechless, but the dismissal burned like being doused
in acid.
“How about a word, Cy? Wanted to talk to you about this one thing,”
Shane said, providing a convenient way for this four-way torture to end. Liv
appreciated that.
Cyborg pumped his lungs full of air, then glared at Knox. “You two enjoy
the party,” he said in a voice that made it painfully clear that he was not up
for dealing with couple drama. With that, he was off, leaving Knox and Liv
in awkward silence.
Knox balled his hands into fists, but when Liv reached to his face and
rubbed off some crusted blood, he didn’t push him away. “I got in a fight,
it’s nothing,”
It seemed any topic was preferable to the one they needed to discuss. A
part of Liv itched to shove him back, to tell Knox things that would have
made him burn in shame, but none of them would pass his throat, so he
shrugged, trying to cool down.
“I spoiled your plans, huh?”
So maybe it was a bland thing to say, but how would one approach a
fucked-up situation that felt like cheating even though it obviously wasn’t.
Liv had enough one-night stands and fuck buddies in his life to know this,
and yet… he and Knox were more than buddies. He deserved a
conversation at least before Knox went off to hunt for another guy.
Though the very idea of Knox liking men was blowing his mind.
Knox took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his dirty blond hair,
finally meeting Liv’s eyes. “I don’t know what I’m doing, so no, you didn’t
spoil shit, because I have no plan, I’m completely fucking adrift.”
Nothing new there. Adrift had always been the quintessential description
of Knox’s life. But that didn’t explain a thing.
Liv glanced over his shoulder, to make sure they really were alone, but
once that was out of the way, he stepped closer, pushing Knox at the outer
wall of the hangar.
“Neat excuse for cheating on your boyfriend. Do you even realize what’s
at stake here? We’re wanted,” he said, because discussing the fake
relationship they maintained for the sake of having refuge at Frank’s was
easier than addressing the elephant-tall guy, who fortunately was no longer
here.
Knox rolled his eyes. “You really think Frank would kick us out if he
found out we fuck around? Only wholesome couples wanted at
Wreck&Repair?” He didn’t put much viciousness into his voice though, nor
did he push back.
He knew he was in the wrong at least, but that couldn’t put out the fire
burning in Liv’s chest. His eyes were itchy from its biting smoke. “You
didn’t want me here. That stings, man.”
Knox wrapped his arms on his chest, completing his defensive stance. “I
just… I just wanted to do my thing.” When he stared down at their boots,
his hair covered his eyes, but Liv needed to see them, so he brushed the
blond strands out of Knox’s face. In the glow of the lamp, his skin had a
golden sheen, more precious than any other riches a man might possess.
Liv exhaled. “And what was that thing? You’ve been shutting me out all
day. You don’t do that to a friend.”
Going by Knox’s deep, trembly breath, Liv guessed they’d be getting
somewhere, even though he didn’t like seeing Knox so distressed. It made
Liv question whether pushing this topic was good for Knox’s heart, but
some things just needed to be said, because he deserved answers.
“You know why,” Knox muttered. “What was that even in the morning? I
don’t know. But then you asked me if I like dick, and, like, how do I even
answer that when I don’t know? I should. I should know that I don’t. But
you were, like, there. On top of me, and it felt good. Like I fucking snorted
gay coke and now I’m addicted to dick. I can’t stop thinking about it. What
if I am gay? What if I was gay all along? What the fuck? Am I dumb? If I’m
gay, how would I not know? People know this shit, don’t they? So here I
am, just trying to work out if I want dick.”
Scorching rain burned away the whole world, leaving Liv focused on the
one person who’d always made him feel at home. While watching Knox
squirm with distress was a painful experience, Liv felt light enough to rise
off the ground when he heard how their brief encounter that morning had
been so life changing for Knox. Because that was how he felt too. As if the
foundations of who he was had been disturbed, affecting everything he
knew about himself.
Those tense arms Knox held crossed on his chest like a barrier? Not
needed. He was safe with Liv.
Without thinking, Liv took hold of both his wrists, and when Knox didn’t
resist, his blue gaze deepening as it met Liv’s eyes, Liv brought their hands
behind Knox’s back, which left them standing intimately close while moths
swirled above their heads around the lamp.
“I can be your gay coke.”
Knox swallowed loudly enough for Liv to hear it. “You don’t mean it.”
Shit.
The way his throat moved as he blushed, all shy, was probably the sexiest
thing Liv had ever seen, and as improper as that was during this emotional
conversation, his cock stirred to life.
“Why not?” he rasped, leaning forward until Knox’s back molded to the
slight curve of the facade and started trembling with the rhythm of the
music played inside. He didn’t protest having his hands pulled back.
He liked this.
“‘Cause you just… you were horny, and did something, and I’m left out
here, man, unable to breathe without thinking about it. Maybe that should
be my answer, but I thought if I tried some other dick, I’d know, because
it’s different with you.”
“Different how?” Liv asked, latching onto that thread like a malnourished
kitten onto its mother’s tit. “What’s wrong with my dick? What does that
Cy dude have that I can’t give you?”
Knox shook his head and stroked the side of Liv’s hand with his
fingertips. Such a tiny gesture, yet it could ignite a fire hot enough to make
Liv self-combust. It was a match, and right now, Liv was made of sulfur.
“That’s the thing, Liv. He doesn’t matter. If things don’t work out with
him, if I don’t like it, or if I’m bad at it? Whatever. With you? I’m not
ruining things between us over this. I didn’t want things to get weird. And
what if I like it too much? We just start fucking each other from now on?”
he raised his voice, searching Liv’s eyes for answers.
He was overthinking all of this.
Typical Knox. It meant nothing really changed, and that made Liv smile.
“Would that be so bad? Doesn’t sound bad to me at all.”
“You’d try that? With me?” Knox’s gaze was so apprehensive, yet Liv
was ready to jump his bones right the fuck now.
Liv chewed on his lip and pushed his hips against Knox’s thigh, to give
him a feel of his growing erection. The sweaty fingers stirred in his grasp,
and for the briefest moment, Knox’s gaze lost all focus. Damn, how had Liv
never noticed how hot his best friend was? Not that he’d have done
anything about it when Knox was a serial monogamist who only dated
women, but still…
It was already driving him insane.
“What exactly do you want to try?” Liv asked and brushed his nose along
Knox’s. The sensation it stirred inside him was overwhelming enough to
make his toes curl.
And Knox didn’t turn away, he turned to him. His breath was hot on Liv’s
lips and he pushed his thigh against Liv’s cock as if he wanted to feel more
of it.
Knox liked dick. No. He loved dick. Just needed a bit of coaxing to
understand it.
“When you… moved on top of me… That was so hot. I never came so
hard before. I liked your weight, the pushing, I… I kinda wanted it, I
mean… I wondered what it would feel like to be under you. In other ways.
With you inside me,” the last words were a whisper, but Liv heard them
loud and clear, and so did his dick.
Holy fuck.
Knox might be the one with a weak heart, but right now, it was Liv who
worried his blood pump might explode. Never in his life had he expected to
feel this intense lust for another guy. He hadn’t thought anything of that sort
could ever develop between him and Knox. But right now he was
convinced that the mixture of strawberry shampoo, laundry detergent, and
sweat Knox exuded was the only thing he wanted to smell till the end of his
days.
His chest was so full of pride, and joy, and desire, that it took him several
moments to realize Knox was staring at him with a worried expression,
waiting for an answer to follow his confession.
Liv stepped right back on the gas pedal. “Oh, so you want to bottom. I’d
have taken one for the team for you, but I have a feeling that wouldn’t be
for me. But this—” Fuck, even breathing was difficult now that they were
so close. “I want to be inside you. So. Fucking. Bad. I’ll make sure it’s
good.”
Seeing Knox bite on his lip to hide a smile was yet more fuel to Liv’s fire.
He liked to hear this? Liv could talk to him all night long about just how
much he wanted to fuck his tight ass. Because it would be tight. He’d be the
first guy to enjoy Knox’s body and give him all the sweaty pleasure in
return.
Knox rubbed his face against Liv’s like a happy cat, and the movements
of his thigh against Liv’s dick became insistent. “Will I get to suck it too? I
can’t promise I’ll be any goo—”
Liv resisted the urge to shut him up with his lips, and instead dove in for
his ear. Their stubbly cheeks rubbed together, like acupuncture needles
designed to make every touch feel better, and Liv rolled his tongue over
Knox’s skin. “Oh, shut up. What could you possibly do wrong once you put
your lips on my dick?”
Knox let out the tiniest moan that sent a shiver straight to Liv’s cockhead.
When his groin pressed harder against Liv’s thigh, it was an intense
reminder of how they’d come together just hours before. How needy and
pliant Knox had been then.
Knox wanted him. Not fucking Cyborg. Cy was supposed to be a test
drive, a stand-in cock, while Liv was the dream ride. Best thing about it? He
didn’t need a license to jump on Liv’s dick and enjoy the real deal.
“I like… your confidence in me.” Knox chuckled, and Liv couldn’t help
but find the nervousness in his voice sweet as whipped cream.
Knox put up walls around most people, but knowing that he’d be willing
to tear them down now made Liv’s blood pound in tune with the fast music.
He let go of Knox’s left hand but pulled the right one to his aching erection.
Even through clothes, his touch felt incredible, sweet like the cocoa-rich
chocolate Liv had once gotten for Christmas.
 “This the dick you want? You want it on your tongue and rubbing your
face?”
Knox gasped and when his eyes met Liv’s, his pupils were wide as if he
really did snort gay coke. He couldn’t believe he’d been wasting so much
time when they could have been fucking all along.
“Fuck… Liv…”
Knox’s hand cupped Liv’s dick almost shyly, and the way he lowered his
lashes over flushed cheeks was so damn cute. Saying that out loud would
have earned Liv a slap, but he found Knox’s pretty boy vibes irresistible.
The guy was like a kitten with big blue eyes and claws sharp as razors.
Someone cleared their throat a few steps away, and when Knox tensed,
Liv pulled his head against his shoulder and looked back, alarmed, only to
relax at the sight of Dex’s stupid grin.
“You made it after all,” Dex said, but when Liv wanted to butt in and tell
him to get lost, he went on. “So this is far from a super homophobic place,
right? But nobody knows you, so maybe, like, don’t suck dick right next to
the motorcycles?”
Fuck. There was no time to wait. Knox could be gloomy and changeable
like a summer hailstorm, and if the mood was gone, Liv would need to
chase him down all over again! “W-we… don’t have a ride.”
Dex’s eyebrows rose. “Right. I forgot. I had to bring Knox here. Anyway,
I’m not saying don’t fuck. I know what it’s like when you just really have
to.” He fished out a bunch of keys with a small tiger keychain and removed
one from the bundle. “I’ve got a spare room here you can use for an hour or
two.”
Liv didn’t hesitate and took it from him, very aware that Knox hid behind
him and wouldn’t utter a word. “Where?”
“You know the workshop hangar next to the bar? Approach it from the
back and get in. It’s cozy enough,” Dex said and waved at Liv with a toothy
grin. “Have fun, boys.”
With that, he was gone, and Liv squeezed Knox in his arms, kissing the
side of his head. God, he loved that strawberry aroma on him. “What is it?
Do you trust me?”
Knox nodded, staring at him in a new way Liv couldn’t decipher just yet.
He ran his hand up Liv’s side. “I do. You did boast about being good at anal
after all.” But his laugh sounded nervous.
He shouldn’t be. Liv meant every bit of what he’d said.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 15

Knox

BY THE TIME THE door to the room Dex so generously offered closed,
Knox’s head was a hornet’s nest buzzing with lust. Even when he’d walked
behind Liv, admiring the breadth of his shoulders, world-shattering
realizations hit him left and right.
He wasn’t appreciating another man’s gym gains. He wanted to put his
hands on those thick arms and squeeze, then lick them for good measure.
Everything about Liv was so painfully touchable, yet now they were
alone, he didn’t know how to break that barrier again.
But he didn’t have to be the one to make the first move.
Liv grabbed his arm, and just as Knox expected to be pulled close, Liv
turned him around and shoved him at the wall. Knox hugged its cool,
porous surface, but it couldn’t keep him from burning when Liv molded
himself to his back, and his hard dick pressed against the crack between
Knox’s buttocks.
Oh fuck.
Knox replied with a broken moan, but then warm hands that already felt
so familiar snuck under his top, exploring his body with confidence none of
Knox’s previous lovers had. Nails teased his stomach, leaving fiery trails,
only to continue north. His nipples throbbed even before Liv drew all over
them with his fingers.
 Liv’s voice curled in his ear like a tender caress. “This is the night. The
night I’m going to pop your sweet cherry.”
Breath caught in Knox’s throat, because as much as he knew he
shouldn’t, he enjoyed every heartbeat of this. “You know I’ve fucked
before, right?” he said, trying to play it cool as he pressed his scorching
forehead against the wall. He could hardly believe what Liv’s fingers were
doing to him.
What if he came too fast? Or just from touching? That would have been
the most embarrassing moment of his fucking life.
Liv hummed, and his skillful fingers rolled down, making sure to trace
every rib before settling on Knox’s hips as if they’d always belonged there.
In control. Taking the reins of whatever was to happen next.
And Knox was glad for it, because he sure as fuck didn’t know how to
proceed.
“Maybe. But not like this. Not with a man. And not with me,” Liv
whispered so quietly Knox needed to focus to hear him over the noise
coming from the hangar next door.
God. If Liv pushed his pants down and tried slamming into him right
here, in near-complete darkness, standing against the wall, Knox would
have done nothing to stop him.
He’d never felt like this in sex. He was always the one expected to know
what he was doing, the one in charge. It felt so good to let go and be open to
whatever came next.
“What if you don’t like it?” Knox whispered, giving voice to one of his
nagging, insecure thoughts as he stood still, with hands against the wall as if
he was about to get frisked by a cop.
The room smelled of stale air, but the scent Liv carried on him—fresh yet
tinged with the familiar aroma of motor oil—both excited and calmed
Knox. It made leaning into this so much easier. He trusted this man, and if
Liv promised to keep him safe, Knox was ready to take a leap into the
unknown.
“You, moaning my name, legs spread as I push my dick in your tight ass?
I’m pretty sure I’m gonna fucking like it.” Liv gave Knox’s neck a teasing
bite.
“Oh,” was all Knox managed to say, because his cock throbbed in
response. He was getting lightheaded just from listening to Liv’s dirty
words. This was already the hottest experience of his life, and they hadn’t
even undressed.
“Just ‘oh’?” Liv insisted and gave Knox’s nape a long lick before pulling
him away, toward a blanket-covered bed that dipped under his hand with a
squeak of old springs.
“You’re… intense. I’ve never seen you like this,” Knox muttered as Liv
pushed him down on the mattress. He wouldn’t dream of fighting back.
This was where he wanted to be. No wonder countless women had fallen
over themselves to get their hands on Liv.
His eyes adjusted to the dim light, but Liv was still barely a shape with
the dirty window behind him. A very attractive shape, with shoulders much
wider than his hips and the swagger of a rockstar. Liv was the epitome of
cool, of never giving a fuck. In comparison, Knox was such a pathetic
bundle of nerves.
And yet, somehow, Liv wanted him. The why, and what, and how would
come later. They were questions too complicated for Knox’s lust-soaked
brain, so he tried to even out his breath as Liv kicked off his sneakers and
then opened the zipper of his jeans so loudly it seemed to echo in the quiet
room. Once his pants were off, he approached like a jaguar stalking Knox in
the dark.
Knox couldn’t explain it, but the fact that he was still wearing a T-shirt
and socks, as if undressing all the way were too bothersome, made him
somehow even hotter.
Gay coke?
No. His new addiction wasn’t about just any man. Knox was already
getting hooked on Liv.
“Ready for me?” Liv teased as he straddled Knox’s waist, resting his cock
and balls right under Knox’s pecs.
And while Knox was definitely not ready, he whispered a breathless,
“yes.”
Knox considered reaching out to touch Liv’s hard dick, but before he
could have made up his mind, Liv rose over him, and the air became dense
with the warm aroma of lust. Knox couldn’t see what Liv was reaching for
in the dark, but—
A small, dusty lamp went on, bringing out all the details.
Heat flushed Knox’s face like a punch as he stared at the stiff dick
swaying right above his nose. Thick, long, and scented with arousal, it was
the most beautiful thing Knox had ever laid his eyes on, and its wide head
glistened, inviting his mouth for a taste.
Liv moved closer, until his knees tickled Knox’s armpits, and his balls
rested against Knox’s chin when he lowered himself with a cocky grin.
Knox had to force himself to look beyond the beautiful piece of equipment,
because Liv’s whole body was deserving of worship. So he swept his gaze
over the intense expression on his friend’s face, the chest wrapped in a T-
shirt at least a size too small, and down the insanely hot V-shape below,
which led the eye straight back to Liv’s cock.
Acting on pure instinct, Knox opened his mouth and licked the sac
hovering above his lips. When he tasted the salt and soap on soft, hairy
skin, Liv’s thighs tightened around his head and he moved forward,
dragging his balls over Knox’s lips. His hard dick twitched against Knox’s
face, and when Knox nuzzled it, Liv took a deep breath.
“Fuuuck…” His fingers slid into the hair at the top of Knox’s head,
massaging his scalp, as if Knox were a dog in need of petting. “I thought
you needed to try dick, but be my guest.” He chuckled, rocking above as if
he had all the time in the world when Knox was fucking boiling.
Knox glanced into his eyes, helpless as he let his lips explore what had
always been forbidden, even in his own mind. “I want it all,” he mumbled,
because he wouldn’t take his mouth off Liv if he didn’t have to.
And what came next? He couldn’t fucking think of anything beyond the
here and now. Beyond Liv’s taste, smell, and his smile, which somehow
looked diabolical in the shadows cast by the small lamp.
As Knox relaxed, opening his mouth to weigh one of Liv’s balls on his
tongue, the hard dick throbbed against his face, right next to his eye, and he
trembled as desire sank its claws into him, making his erection near-painful.
Liv’s grin widened, and moments later, he took hold of his tool and
started stroking it above Knox’s face. He made a choked noise when Knox
sucked on his nut as if it were his favorite candy.
“Someone’s greedy. What if you make me blow too fast?”
Knox’s first thought was that Liv’s cum would land on his face, and he
parted his thighs to alleviate the pressure between his legs when his own
balls tightened with excitement. Hot. It was all so hot, even if unnerving.
Knox trembled as he slid his hands to the backs of Liv’s thighs. The texture
of hair against his palms made him stir his hips on the mattress and moan,
overwhelmed by the proximity of male flesh.
 “Then you’d have to get it up again,” Knox said and licked Liv’s
knuckles. He had ride fast tattooed across both hands, and right now the ink
made Knox imagine it stood for Liv riding him as if there was no tomorrow.
Oh fuck, how amazing it would be to sink onto Liv and watch his cheeks
flush. But not now. Tonight, Liv was in control of the situation, and Knox—
eager for his guidance.
Liv released the sexiest laugh, shifting above Knox and taking away his
now-wet balls. “Probably. But right now, I really want to see your rosy lips
around my cockhead. Been thinking about it all day.”
Liv’s hand pumped his dick a little harder, and then presented it to Knox’s
lips, parting them.
Heat scorched Knox’s face and neck as he stroked the backs of Liv’s
thighs and opened his mouth like a good boy. He’d never imagined he’d get
off on someone talking to him like this. But damn, it was such a fucking
turn-on. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t have been with anyone else. Liv
cared about him and wouldn’t lose respect for him over this.
In fact, he seemed damn satisfied as he fed Knox his dick, inch after inch.
So. Fucking. Hot.
His warm, musky scent intensified, sending Knox’s senses into overdrive.
He squeezed Liv’s legs when the cockhead reached the back of his throat.
At this point, he’d barely sucked in half of Liv’s dick. How the fuck did
anyone get more in there? He looked up into Liv’s eyes, hoping for
approval, but while he found it, there was so much more in the brown
depths watching him from above.
Lust. Need. Surprise. Curiosity. Joy was there too, burning so intensely
Knox was scared to acknowledge it. Because what did it mean for him?
What was Liv so happy about? Getting a blowjob from the least
experienced slut at this damn biker party?
“Damn, you look so hot like this. Lips around my cock, mouth stuffed
full…” Liv rasped, petting Knox’s cheekbone while his thick shaft throbbed
between Knox’s tongue and palate. “You wanted to test out a dick. Is mine
meeting your expectations?” He pushed it in again, fucking Knox’s mouth
without making any attempts to go deeper than was comfortable.
Knox could die for the rasp in Liv’s voice. He’d always been only a
spectator to Liv’s conquests, assessing himself in comparison. But now he
was open to accepting that he might have been jealous of Liv’s lovers, not
his popularity.
 Liv leaned down and massaged Knox’s cheeks with his thumbs as he
gently thrust against his face. Each stir of hips was like a wave, and Knox
hoped they’d keep going until he came undone, thrashing under Liv’s
weight.
“Yeah, you look like you’re enjoying yourself,” Liv murmured, biting his
bottom lip.
Knox had no idea giving someone else pleasure could be such a turn on,
yet here he was, rock hard and twirling his tongue along Liv’s cock just to
see the little twitches of excitement pass over Liv’s features.
And the taste? Fuck. Salty, a bit bitter. So why the fuck did it feel so
sweet to have Liv’s pre-cum all over his tongue?
“Good boy. How did I never notice how damn fuckable you are,” Liv
whispered, reaching back. Knox didn’t put two and two together until one
of those warm hands rested between his legs and gave his dick a gentle
squeeze that prompted him to push his hips up, seeking more touch. His
body overloaded with sensation, sinking deeper into sexual bliss.
The whimper he made would have been embarrassing if he cared about
such things right now, but he shut himself up by hollowing his cheeks and
sucking Liv harder. He fucking loved the weight of his dick inside his
mouth.
“Oh, fuck yes…” Liv groaned, toying with Knox’s dick through fabric.
“You’re so hard for this. I bet you’ll take my dick just as happily.”
Knox’s hole twitched the moment Liv put that thought in his mind. Lost
in the blowjob, he’d forgotten where else this was going. But Liv remained
all cool and in control of the situation and pulled out of Knox’s mouth,
taking away his new favorite plaything.
Before Knox could protest, Liv flipped him to his stomach and climbed
on top, pushing up the fabric on Knox’s back. The old blanket covering the
hard, squeaking bed was ripped in a couple of places and carried the smell
of dust, but those were just meaningless details, forgotten when Liv
showered Knox’s shoulder with wet, delicious kisses.
Liv. Was kissing his body. In-fucking-sane.
And as Knox stirred in response, like a mindless animal humping the bed,
Liv let out a raspy laugh.
“So fucking needy. I have just the medicine for you. It’s big and hard, but
I’m sure you can handle it,” he said in a voice dripping with sugar syrup.
And then, he yanked on Knox’s pants, tugging them down his hips.
 Tension shocked Knox’s body with a vengeance despite Liv’s promise,
because he needed to face what they were about to do, and didn’t know how
ready he was for a confrontation with the rules Dad beat into him.
At least he didn’t need to face Liv while it happened, but his back still
went rigid with nerves. Liv reassured him that he’d like this, but what if he
didn’t? What if Knox turned out to be a complete disappointment and
proved to be more work than Liv was willing to put in?
Knox had to remind himself to breathe, and it distracted him until his
pants were all the way off, leaving his skin bare to the cool air. Anticipation
coursed through his blood when the mattress dipped under Liv’s weight,
right behind him.
“Can’t wait to hear it slapping against my hips,” Liv said in a low voice
and big, unmistakably male, hands gave Knox’s buttocks a squeeze.
Knox uttered an embarrassing little squeal that made him hide his face in
the pillow.
Oh god. How was he to survive this?
Liv shushed him and pressed his hard dick against the very top of Knox’s
crack as he drove his palm up to rest between the shoulder blades. “It’s
okay. I know what I’m doing.”
But what if he only knew how to deal with women?
It’s an ass, his brain reminded him, everyone has one, you’re not special.
But the proximity of Liv’s thick dick was too distracting to think
rationally.
“I’m just… you know, I never—”
“I know. It’s fine. Gimmie that,” Liv said, and only then did Knox realize
that he was hugging a pillow and was reluctant to let go of it.
Which was childish, so he surrendered his comfort cushion, avoiding
Liv’s gaze. He listened when Liv told him to lift his hips, and moments later
he had his dick against the pillow and butt arched for the taking. He felt like
some ancient offering to the Gods.
He whimpered when Liv kneeled between his thighs and spread his
cheeks open without a hint of hesitation. And he gave a sigh. Soft, smooth,
and sweet like a gooey strawberry marshmallow.
“You’re pretty even down here,” Liv rasped, and his thumb swept the
hairy skin on the inner side of Knox’s buttocks, touching the hole that felt
almost painfully tight.
 Knox’s stomach ached from tension, and while he longed to get swept up
by desire, the reality of what he wanted made him so self-conscious even
his teeth felt out of place in his body.
The flavor of Liv’s cock still lingering in his mouth wasn’t enough to
soothe Knox’s frantic thoughts. But when Liv rested on top of him, cock
pressed to the small of Knox’s back, mouth against Knox’s jaw, the
overpowering tension eased.
“That’s what you want, right? For me to slowly drill you open until
you’re trembling and you stain that pillow with your cum?”
Oh, fuck.
Liv was so warm and heavy on top, and his dick felt so delicious pressed
to Knox’s back. It reminded Knox of how Liv had rubbed against him in the
morning. How he’d come between their bodies and how hot that had been.
“Yes,” he whispered.
Liv kissed the back of his head, making butterflies flutter in Knox’s
stomach. “What was that? Didn’t hear you.”
“I want your dick in me,” Knox said and dared to rock his ass against Liv.
He wouldn’t have wanted this to happen with Cyborg. He would have
chickened out.
Or worse. Went with it out of embarrassment and then gone back home
with his tail between his legs. But while offering himself like this made him
nervous like a feral cat getting salmon treats for the first time, he knew with
absolute certainty that Liv would never hurt him. They shared the kind of
trust that could only be forged through years of facing bullshit together. He
shouldn’t have run from this in the first place.
The sharp click of plastic made him rigid, but then Liv slid off him,
resting on his side right next to Knox, and kissed his shoulder. “Don’t
think.”
The cool touch of lube-covered fingers did make Knox think, mostly with
worry how Liv felt about touching him this way, but the relaxed way Liv’s
knee rested on the back of Knox’s thigh calmed him somewhat.
“What if I don’t like it?” Knox uttered, even though the slippery touch
sent all his nerve endings into overdrive.
It felt so good. And knowing that Liv intended to put his dick in that
tight, sensitive hole made the world around them whirr.
“Then we’ll stop,” Liv said, and nudged Knox with his nose before
leaning in for a kiss.
 Something in Knox’s mind glitched because, of course Liv would stop if
asked. Why had he worried about that in the first place?
He met Liv half-way and kissed him. And as their lips touched, the tip of
Liv’s slick finger pushed inside Knox.
This time, their kiss wasn’t just a frantic clash of mouths, so he let
himself savor the hoppy aftertaste of Liv’s tongue, which distracted him
from the two fingertips prodding at his hole.
Loud music drummed around them, resonating through the walls, like a
barrier keeping their bed hidden from intruders. At this point though,
nothing could have diverted Knox’s attention from their kiss. Liv nudged
his mouth open before licking his tongue in a slow caress that melted
Knox’s brain.
A finger dove into him all the way until Liv’s knuckles met his buttocks.
He shifted, but there was no pain, just the strange feeling of being
penetrated, and while so far it wasn’t earth-shattering in any way, the fact
that Liv was touching him someplace so intimate made it exciting. Knox
slipped his hand under Liv’s T-shirt, and all the way to his armpit, before
stroking the coarse hair there with his thumb. Was it pervy of him to find
that spot arousing?
Drunk on lips sparking electricity against his, Knox rocked against Liv’s
insistent fingers, more and more relaxed about touching him back.
Liv. The man he’d always considered the hottest guy at any party and a
threat to every husband. The guy whose roguish smile made women of all
ages cream their panties and who was the one person to ever care about
Knox. He was here. Having sex with Knox.
Time stood still, locking the two of them in a moment of tender touch,
sweet obscenities whispered straight into Knox’s mouth and resonating over
his teeth. Life had never been easy for Knox, but all the joyful moments had
one thing in common—he’d always shared them with Liv. He’d always
been there to hold Knox’s hand and have his back when shit got real.
It only made sense he was with Knox in this moment of self-discovery
too. Three of Liv’s fingers were buried to the knuckle in Knox’s ass, and his
tongue play-fought Knox’s with such flourish it was impossible not to start
grinding between the pillow and the slick digits that made his hole burn.
Liv’s sturdy muscles danced under Knox’s touch any time Knox shifted
his fingers under the T-shirt. He’d been with an athletic girl once, but her
body was incomparable to the sturdiness of Liv’s form, the texture of his
skin, the masculine scent he carried… He took charge of things. He was
playful, dirty, exhilarating and tender.
Liv was like the cars he loved to race⸺dangerous yet irresistible to any
adrenaline junkie.
He was everything Knox wanted, regardless of how this night went.
Knox whimpered when Liv thrust his fingers in a bit too hard, because…
fuck… it was a tight fit.
Still, he did relax after a bit more teasing, and then Liv gave him a final
kiss, removed his fingers and rolled back on top. Knox was hot as a furnace
and ready to take the hard rod that had been poking his flesh so insistently.
More lube.
A soft stroke on the back of his head, and then, Liv rested his weight on a
hand he placed right next to Knox’s face and pushed.
Oh damn.
Knox’s body attempted to ward him off as if he were an intruder, not
someone Knox itched to welcome inside. Pain radiated down his thighs and
made him shiver, but Liv stayed still, his breathing shallow yet almost
deliberately slow.
“Fuck, you’re like a vice around me.”
Knox gasped for air, shocked by the thick presence at the entrance to his
body. He did not imagine it feeling this intense. “You’ve got a big fucking
dick, okay?”
Liv chuckled and kissed the back of his head. “I know. All for you. I’ll
ease you in so you can take it. Does this feel good?” he asked as he pushed
in just a little farther, making Knox shiver with excitement despite the pain.
Because maybe this dull ache was all part of the package, something he
needed to accept if he wanted Liv to fuck him?
Knox moaned as sweat made his T-shirt stick to his back. “M-maybe,” he
uttered, overwhelmed yet oh so horny despite the presence inside causing
him so much discomfort. He still wanted to take it all. So. Very.
Desperately.
“‘Maybe’ isn’t good enough, Knox. You gotta tell me if you want it, or
I’ll stop,” Liv said in a warm rasp that had goosebumps erupting all over
vulnerable flesh.
“I… I want it. Go deeper,” Knox uttered, because he needed to know how
it would feel to have all of Liv’s dick in, how it would feel when Liv sawed
into him for real, holding his hips in place as the bed rattled.
 The tip was barely in, but as Liv’s mouth descended on his arm, trailing
kisses up his neck and giving his cheek a playful nip, the strong muscle
around Knox’s entrance relaxed. And when the initial pain subsided, Liv
made his move, pushing in until the soft pillow of pubes cushioned Knox’s
ass.
Oh God.
Liv was all the way inside. Hard, and alive, and ready to take pleasure in
Knox’s body.
Liv’s sigh was the sweetest sound Knox ever heard, and he arched his
back like a cat, wanting for more of their skin to touch.
“You smell so good,” Liv whispered, pushing his nose into Knox’s hair.
He did? Liv liked it? Because, of course Liv liked getting off with a warm
body, but did he like that Knox had hard muscle? That he smelled like a
guy? That he had stubble?
Then again, Liv was such a horny fuckboy, he’d take to any hole like a
duck to water. It could have been a criticism if Knox didn’t find Liv’s cocky
smiles and dirty talk so damn hot.
Knox was panting as he turned his head and arched his neck to invite
kisses.
“How do you like it now?” Liv teased and licked Knox’s skin from neck
to ear. “‘Cause I think you like it a lot. Go on, squeeze me, get used to it.
You wanted to test out if you like cock? I’m gonna give you the full
experience. A good hard dicking until you’re begging for my cum.”
Knox whimpered, trembling with excitement as Liv rubbed his body in
soothing circles before gently stirring his hips, so his dick shifted inside
Knox. And then, he pulled back in a slow, delicious glide. Heat rushed to
Knox’s head, but before he could have uttered a word, the shaft was inside
him again as his friend—or lover? —started a steady rhythm of push and
pull, holding himself up on strong arms placed on either side of Knox’s
head.
There was still a bit of discomfort, but it hardly mattered when Liv’s
presence overloaded every cell in Knox’s body with desire. Knox spread his
legs wider and shifted his hips, only to freeze when his insides radiated with
a sensation so intense he wasn’t sure if he was in pain or overcome by
intense pleasure.
His dick leaked pre-cum against the pillow, and he spread his thighs
wider, inviting Liv for more.
 He must have made a noise, because Liv stilled right away, his breath hot
on Knox’s nape. “Okay?”
“I… I don’t know. Fuck. Do that again, Liv?” His own voice sounded like
a whisper in a faraway dream. He was fucking losing it.
Maybe you could get high on a person.
He glanced at one of Liv’s hands, right next to his face. He’d never
noticed how sexy they were. Large, with pronounced knuckles, and veins
that went up muscular forearms. But now he wanted to purr and rub his
head against them like a cat.
When Liv’s hips repeated the movement, stirring the overwhelming ache
inside him again, Knox grabbed one of his arms and pushed back to meet
the hard dick. He’d never felt anything this intense, and while Liv’s
delighted hum had a sinister edge to it, Knox melted, so high on this
amazing cock that he cozied up to the dusty blanket without caring who else
had fucked on it before.
“Damn… it’s so hot when you squirm,” Liv hummed.
“I can’t help it. I… it’s…” Knox had no idea what he wanted to say,
because every time Liv slammed into him, slapping his ass with his hips,
the burst of hot arousal sparked from deep inside him to the tip of his cock.
And he moaned as if the concept of shame meant nothing to him.
“I’m gonna come inside you. For you to get the full test ride,” Liv teased
in a raspy voice and grabbed Knox’s ear with his teeth. “So you know if
you really like it.”
“Oh, shut up,” Knox whined, because at this point, they both knew he
liked dick. He just wasn’t ready to consider the consequences of that while
Liv drilled into the tight channel of muscles inside him.
Sex had never been like this. So… easy, guided by intuition and passion.
Even the tension he’d felt when they entered the room was gone, because
he was too horny to care about embarrassment or the technical aspects of
what they were doing.
From the moment Liv had gotten on top of him, all that mattered was that
Knox wanted to smell him, lick his skin, suck is dick, and then feel him
inside.
Having sex before had always led him to a sinkhole of overthinking.
There was none of that with Liv, just two bodies desperate to rub against
each other and exchange fluids.
 Knox loved everything about this. The way the hairs on Liv’s stomach
teased his back, the slapping of Liv’s balls against his, the scent of his
sweat, and the taste of Liv’s pre-cum, which still lingered on his tongue.
With him, Knox didn’t have to focus to get hard. He’d been stiff as a rock
from the moment they entered the room, and didn’t go soft even while he
adjusted to the initial discomfort of having a dick inside him.
“You don’t really mean that. You love it when I talk dirty,” Liv said with
a kiss on Knox’s shoulder.
He then tensed his arms and slammed into Knox harder. And like the slut
Knox apparently was, he whimpered, moaned, and spread his legs wider.
With the pillow encasing his dick and providing the necessary friction, he
let himself relax and focused on the insistent way Liv entered him over and
over. It felt so hot to be desired. For Liv to lose his mind and fuck him like
this when strangers were just beyond the wall.
The mattress whined each time he thrust in, but Knox no longer cared,
greedy for the addictive pressure inside as they moved together, two sweaty
bodies in need of release.
This was better than that fucking burger bought for their last cash. Better
than a cold beer on the hottest day of the year. And definitely better than
any sex Knox had ever had.
“You feel… so good. I’m gonna nut so hard in your tight. Little. Hole.”
Liv held him tightly, accentuating each word with a thrust.
At this point, it didn’t even matter that the dirty talk would soon turn
Knox’s ears black from the scorching heat. He wanted to feel Liv’s dick
inside him as it spurted cum.
“Fuck. Yes. Fuck me like this. Liv. Livvy,” Knox whimpered the last
word. He moved against Liv like a madman, on the verge of his own
orgasm. He patted the bed for Liv’s hand and squeezed it as soon as he
found it. “Gimmie more. Please.”
Liv uttered a voiceless curse and plowed him faster, his fingers covering
Knox’s as he slammed in with more energy before going perfectly still as
his big dick pulsed inside Knox’s sensitive channel.
Oh God.
He was coming. Coming inside Knox.
“Feel it? Hot and throbbing in you? Say my name again,” Liv half-said,
half-grunted, making a few more jerky movements as he planted his spunk
deep inside.
 “Liv…”
Liv slid his hand under Knox’s T-shirt and pinched his nipple. “The cute
one.”
“Livvy…”
Knox’s cock was so hard he was losing his sanity. His balls felt heavy,
and every single movement made them throb for release as his head spun
with frantic desire. No longer caring about dignity or shame, he chased his
pleasure rocking between the stained pillow and Liv’s dick.
Liv chuckled against Knox’s nape, still catching his breath. “Christ…
What are you doing to me, babe… So tight on my dick, so fucking pretty,
and now sweet talking to me? I’m a fucking goner for you, Knox.”
‘Babe’.
A word that had been a stupid joke yesterday now turned Knox’s insides
mushy. The world had turned on its head in this bed, but there would be no
thinking until Knox’s body got its release.
“Please…” he whimpered, shifting impatiently.
Before his overloaded mind could make a decision, Liv grabbed Knox’s
hips, dragging them up with a grip of steel and forcing Knox to his knees.
Knox almost came right then and there, shivering at the sight of tattooed
fingers wrapping around his dick.
Liv let out a happy groan, resting his stubbly chin on Knox’s shoulder.
“Go on, I wanna see you come.”
When he tugged on Knox’s cock and started milking it in rapid strokes,
the sound of a car revving for a race mirrored their insistent need to get to
the finish line.
Knox dropped his forehead to the mattress and peeked under their bodies
where the big, masculine hand with knuckle tattoos worked his dick. Liv’s
cock was still inside him, keeping the hot cum in. Just thinking about it
made Knox’s breathing erratic as those beautiful fingers played with his
shaft, shiny with pre-cum.
And then, he couldn’t breathe. Couldn't think as the world turned white.
Electric jolts passed through every fragment of his body as his balls
emptied on the pillow. His knees felt weak, and he trembled from the
hardest orgasm he’d ever experienced. The quintessential release.
They both collapsed to the damp blanket, rolling together like two beasts
shot by the same arrow. Liv was no longer inside him, but the burn in
Knox’s hole was an insistent reminder of what happened.
 Was it weird that it turned him on to still have Liv’s cum inside?
It was too soon to gather the pieces he’d shattered into and arrange them
back together, so thinking had to wait.
His body still pulsed with the tremors of post-orgasm pleasure, and his
heart beat out of whack, but it calmed down as soon as Liv put his hand
over it.
Liv had jerked him off.
That had been so hot.
“Fuck me…” Knox shook his head, tangled up in Liv’s embrace. “You
really are good at sex,” he joked to play down how momentous this had
been for him.
He felt like a new man.
Liv beamed, his features flushed and shiny as he pulled Knox closer,
cradling him with one arm. “Don’t think even this god of sex can go again
right away,” he said and silenced Knox’s protest with a soft kiss on the lips.
“But with this face and body? You can tempt me any time.”
The butterflies from Knox’s stomach soared and tickled every inch of his
skin, from his curling feet to his tightening throat. He considered masking
his tender feelings with a smartass remark, but kissing felt much more
urgent, so he pulled Liv closer by the waist and deepened their kiss. He’d
just had this dude’s cock inside him, so a bit of tongue fucking was hardly
an embarrassing thing to enjoy in the afterglow.
When Liv slid his hand to Knox’s ass, Knox rolled on top of him, both
tired and exhilarated. As the thick fingers moved to his crack, sticky with
lube and cum, the door thudded with several bangs, making them both still.
“You two done in there?” Shane asked in a dulled voice. “It’s getting late
and as far as I know, you’ve got work tomorrow.”
“He’s our ride.” Knox groaned and pressed his forehead to Liv’s shoulder.
He pulled back and sat on his hips to once more take in the beauty of a
sated Liv. His dark hair was a bit longer on top of his head, and was now
messy. His cheeks were flushed like ripe apples, and he smiled back at
Knox, as if he had no regrets. That gap between his teeth was so adorable,
and he could even make the stupid T-shirt with an eagle work.
And then the tattoos. On his neck, his arms, his hands… The bad boy of
trailer park dreams, ready to steal girlfriends, and, apparently, Knox’s
cherry.
Knox was gay. So fucking gay.
 “Coming!” Liv yelled, though instead of moving, he stroked Knox’s thigh
with a cocky grin.
“Yeah, I’ve heard. Be at the parking lot in ten,” Shane said and stomped
off.
Liv snorted. “You think he jerked off to our performance or was just
standing by the door, annoyed that we’re taking our time here?”
“Fuck knows. Might have even fingered himself.”
Liv stared at him for half a second but then exploded with a manic cackle
that ended up bringing him to tears. Knox couldn’t help but start laughing
too.
As the thrill of sex evaporated, Knox couldn’t stop looking back at Liv
with a sinking feeling in his stomach.
It was all fun and games to jerk off a friend drunk, and never speak about
it. But what they did? That kind of fucking? The kissing, the caresses and
dirty talk? What would it mean for them in the long run? And was Liv
really not bothered? Because Knox already knew that this night changed
everything.
“Just gonna wash quick,” Liv said with a grin, heading for the door to the
small bathroom. He gave Knox’s ass a slap in passing, leaving him with a
million questions.
“Fuck,” Knox whispered to himself when he caught his own reflection in
the mirror.
Flushed, with hair mussed up, he looked thoroughly fucked.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 16

Liv

LIV FELT LIKE THE king of the world. The god of sex. And, of course,
the best friend one could ever have. After all, not everyone could help their
best buddy in their sexual awakening, but he had done it for Knox. Not
without benefits to himself, of course, because nothing about what
happened back at the clubhouse had felt short of amazing, but it counted
nevertheless.
Fuck, Knox was… he was the hottest fucking person Liv had laid his
eyes on, no joke, and while he’d only now opened up to that fact, after
years of never ever letting his attention slip away from women, he was
already all in on the whole guy thing.
So maybe he was bisexual? No big deal. He didn’t have a problem with
that, and the occasional gay porn-watching and sexual fantasies involving
guys no longer had to be a secret.
Though there had been signs. Like that time last summer when Knox
washed the car in his underwear. The weather’s been hot as the devil’s ass,
so he’d sprayed himself with water from the hose, and Liv might have
appreciated his backside for way too long for it to serve as a passing
observation. If he had made a move back then, would Knox have been up
for it?
 Or that time when they went to a mud race, but then Liv had slipped and
ended up accidentally toppling Knox? Knox had his eyes on the prize, so
the collision got him so angry he started fighting Liv right there in the mud.
But his kickboxing skills weren’t of much use when wrestling in slippery
goo, and Liv gained an advantage thanks to the few pounds of muscle he
had on Knox.
He'd ended up face down and wriggling under Liv like an eel out of
water, and Liv had to admit he’d enjoyed pressing down on him with his
whole body a bit more than was reasonable. Could they have fucked then?
Could he have pulled his pants down and had Knox in the mud? Could they
do that now? Because at the moment, that fantasy had set up camp in Liv’s
head and refused to leave the premises.
Oh, or that time when they were much younger and Liv had told him
about the woman who deepthroated his whole dick. Knox didn’t think it
was a big deal, since it happened all the time in porn, but Liv had more real
life experience by then. And since they’d both been drunk, Liv had bet him
ten bucks that Knox wouldn’t be able to deepthroat a banana. Thinking
back to how intensely Knox had tried to win that bet gave Liv a bit of a
boner. He’d broken three bananas before admitting defeat, and by that time,
Liv had gravitated behind the kitchen counter to hide a very confusing
erection.
If Liv had bet him to try on his dick instead, would Knox had done it?
Could he have been giving Liv head for years? Missed opportunity.
Back then, Liv had rationalized his unexpected reaction with hormones,
being horny all the time, and the fact that Knox had big blue eyes with long
lashes. But now Knox was so much more masculine, barely had any of that
baby fat left in his chiseled face, and Liv found him even hotter.
And, holy fuck, kissing him, touching him, being inside him had been
among the most erotic experiences in Liv’s life, and that was saying
something, because there had been many. It wasn’t like he didn’t care about
his other lovers, because he did, but maybe the fact they were so close did
change things?
Both of Liv’s parents were still alive, if not always around, but Knox had
been a steadier presence than either of them, and felt like family. Like
home. Liv would have done anything in his power to make him happy. If
this new thing worked, they could have it all.
 One-night stands were always fine, but girlfriends had a way of
distracting Knox and made him waste his time on things he didn’t enjoy
instead of having fun with Liv. Maybe now, he’d get everything he needed,
he’d stop being so frustrated all the time and stop searching for remedies
where they couldn’t be offered to him.
Liv smiled when he glanced at Knox. The blue hoodie was a bit too big
on him, but it didn’t make him look any less cute. His hair was in disarray,
and he seemed thoughtful as he stared out of the car window when they
drove past the junkyard gate.
Was he also wondering about settling down here in some way? Their
options were limited, and they could hardly complain about the guys here
involved in shady shit after killing Vlad. It would take some adjustment on
their side, but with winter coming, what better place could they possibly
find?
Liv grinned at Knox, but the smile he got in return was lukewarm. Knox
had to be embarrassed of Shane listening in on them back at the party. He
was also probably tired as hell. Oh well, they’d get to hold hands and
cuddle later.
“Aand we’re here,” Shane said, stopping the car in front of Frank’s house.
“Thanks, Shane,” Knox said. “We need to get ourselves a ride of our own
as soon as we get our shit together.”
Shane shook his head and slid out of the car first. “That’ll be a while…”
Liv grinned at Knox and followed suit. “Wanna join me in the shower?”
he asked but Knox shook his head.
“No. After all that noise and smoke I need a bit of fresh air.”
Fair enough, even if a bit of a waste.
Liv walked around the car, gave him a firm smooch that made a couple of
fireworks explode at the back of his skull, and ran into the house to see
Shane kissing a young, lanky guy with long, wavy hair. Being around so
many gay guys was still very new.
“I take it that’s Ros?”
Shane hesitated a little, but it wasn’t like he could hide his boyfriend any
longer. “Yep. And if you ever try anything, our dogs are—”
“Come on, Shane. What’s he gonna do?” Ros rolled his eyes and got off
the elegant emerald green couch where he’d been sitting with Ezra and
Cerberus. “Knox?”
“Nah, I’m Liv. Knox is taking a breather outside.”
 “Smoking’s bad for you,” Ezra said without taking his eyes off the TV.
Liv waved it off. “He’s got this heart thing, he’s not allowed to smoke. He
just needs air after the party. And, by the way, I’ve seen your sculptures. Big
fan,” he said with a grin.
Ezra sighed. “He probably wants something from you.”
Liv raised his palms in defeat. “Hey! I said I’d wash the dishes, and I did,
didn’t I? And I said the porridge was amazing, ‘cause it was. No fakery with
me.” Which was kind of a lie, since he’d lied about Knox being his
boyfriend, but it was becoming true, so no harm done.
“I take compliments without prejudice.” Ros smiled and pushed his long
hair behind his ears. He wore a strange blue top with sleeves ending in
fingerless gloves and a print featuring a whimsical wolf howling at the
moon.
Shane grabbed two beers from Frank’s fridge as if it was his own, so they
were all definitely close. “Frank’s in the workshop?” he asked Ezra.
“He’s been tinkering a lot lately. Maybe he’s trying to repair that old
clock you found?” Ezra mused, drinking red wine from a glass almost as
big as his face.
One look at the lady in a big historical gown taking up the TV screen told
Liv he wasn’t interested in staying to watch the movie, so he excused
himself and went straight into the shower, eager to join Knox outside.
They could scoot together for warmth and have beers while watching the
starry sky until the mood took hold. Or not. He’d be happy either way, as
long as they enjoyed time together, safe and away from the cops. Maybe it
was wrong of him but he tried not to think too much about the way things
went down with Vlad. About the blood, of the smells, of the terror—
He shook his head, eager to forget it. But when he went outside after the
shower, all refreshed by Ezra’s almond soap, Knox wasn’t where Liv had
last seen him. Shane and Frank sat in the back of a truck, drinking and
clearly also not in the mood for costume drama.
So maybe Knox went to sleep, and they’d left the workshop to give him
peace?
A smile tugged on the corners of Liv’s mouth when he thought of the
innocent faces Knox made when sleeping. A couple of times, Liv had
pranked him by tickling his feet until he woke, but he usually didn’t have
the heart to fuck with him when he was enjoying much-needed rest.
 His condition didn’t affect him all the time, but good food, rest, and peace
made the episodes rarer, so these days Liv was very careful about Knox’s
needs being met to the best of their ability. He tried to be very quiet upon
entering the workshop, and switched on only his cell phone for light, but
when he stepped into the little office temporarily converted into their
bedroom, he found the mattress empty.
“Knox?”
Nothing.
So Liv tried again, in the workshop itself, but it wasn’t as though Knox
would be hiding somewhere to prank him.
A bad feeling settled on his shoulders, but Frank’s house had more than
one door, so maybe they just missed each other? It would have been typical
for Knox to try and get one more snack in before bed, especially after all
they’ve been through today.
He walked back but when it turned out that neither Ezra nor Ros had seen
Knox, Liv rushed right back outside, heading for the truck.
“Have you seen Knox?” he asked, already out of breath, because his
lungs suddenly felt too small for all the air he needed. Something was off.
He could feel it in his gut.
Frank shrugged. “Thought he went to bed.”
Shane ran his hand over his face. “Not again. What did you do to him?”
Liv’s jaw dropped at the accusation. “Excuse me?”
Frank’s face scrunched as he watched them with a deepening frown. “Did
something happen that I should know about?”
Shane spread his arms. “He seems to be avoiding you is all I’m saying.”
Frank squinted at Liv. “What is this fucking drama? Don’t you two have
bigger problems?”
The ground under Liv’s feet stuck to his shoes and was about to crumble,
taking him into the abyss. “Avoiding me? Why the fuck would he be
avoiding me?” he asked, searching Shane’s eyes, because he wasn’t above
looking for answers when they were needed.
“First he turns off his phone, now he’s gone. Why? You tell us,” Shane
said, his thick brows lowering.
Frank groaned. “What’s it matter? He’ll be back when he wants to be.”
Liv put his hands against his mouth and called out Knox’s name at the top
of his lungs. The noise made Frank stir with annoyance.
“Just stop it. He probably just went out for a walk.”
 But Shane’s words have already taken root, and now Liv was second-
guessing everything, especially the flat emotions Knox had displayed in the
car. He did not look like someone who had been fucked well and was
pumped out afterwards. Now that Liv was second-guessing himself, Knox’s
behavior reeked of wanting to leave.
“He would have said something.”
Shane took a swig of beer. “And why exactly are you making this our
problem? He’s a grown man.”
Frank glanced to the side with a scowl. “There’s the traps…”
Cold vines grew all around Liv and tightened their hold on him. “What?
What traps?”
Shane sighed. “Yeah, Ezra once fell into one.”
“Fuck! What the hell? You should have told us. What if he’s hurt?” Liv
asked, increasingly frantic, but at the back of his mind, the accusation about
this being somehow his fault was growing in strength.
“Well, he’ll probably keep to the roads when it’s so dark anyway. Those
are all safe,” Frank muttered before taking another sip.
How could they just sit there when there were fucking traps on this
junkyard?
Shane shrugged. “We met you two yesterday. We’re not giving you a map
of the place with all the traps marked. What else? Are we supposed to tell
you where the tigers are locked away?”
Frank shoved Shane’s arm. “Don’t mess with him.” He turned to Liv with
a serious expression. “There are no tigers, and your boyfriend’s fine. Jag
would have known if a trap was activated. Is it possible he fainted?”
The way Liv was feeling right now, he might be the one fainting. It was
all his fault. He must have somehow misread the situation, or come on too
strong, or scared Knox in some other way, and now Knox was somewhere
out there, in the dark, with traps set up all over the place.
“I… I think he might be having a freak out, and that’s why he’s gone.
Look, you need to help me find him.”
Shane put away his empty bottle. “Why would he be freaking out? I’m
not doing this unless there’s a good reason. I’ve got dog training in the
morning.”
Liv covered his face.
He should not tell them what happened, since it was private, but they
needed to understand this was urgent, because everyone would rather have a
quiet evening than run around looking for a dude with an existential crisis.
“Look, you can’t fucking tell this to anyone, especially Knox,” Liv said,
letting the words hang in the air, and while Frank remained indifferent,
Shane’s gaze was pinned to him as if the promise of gossip hypnotized him.
“Yeah, okay, what is it?
Liv’s hands trembled, so he stuck them down his pants, and spilled the
information, because what was the point of holding back the inevitable?
“So, as you know, me and Knox recently got together, and his dad was
extremely homophobic, so he can be a bit weird about being gay
sometimes, and we actually only did the whole thing today.”
Shane stared. “And by ‘whole’ you mean…?”
Liv’s nape heated up. “Went all the way, you know.”
Frank closed his eyes for several seconds, taking a deep breath. “And this
is relevant because…?”
Liv couldn’t believe this. Knox could be out there somewhere, hurt, in
crisis, crying his eyes out or getting hypothermia, and they were just sitting
here!
“I just told you he might be freaking out because all his life he’s been told
there’s something wrong with him. You’re gay, so I fucking think you
should get what that might be like!” Liv roared in their faces.
Frank and Shane watched him in silence as the door of the house opened,
and Ezra looked out, surrounded by moths flying around the lamp by the
entrance.
“What is this about?”
Ha. A friendly frown. Liv would take it. “Knox went off somewhere, and
they just told me there are traps, and his phone isn’t juiced up, so I can’t just
call him!”
Ezra’s chest expanded, and he stared straight at Frank. Frank stared back,
and after endless seconds of this wordless exchange, he finished his beer
with several swigs and rose. “Fine. I’ll get Jag. He knows this place like the
back of his own hand.”
Shane jumped off the truck bed and approached the house. “Cer! Come
here, boy! We need your nose.”
As soon as Frank was done typing on his phone, he turned to Liv, and
took him to the side. “Be honest with me. Is it possible that Knox… might
do something to himself?”
 Liv had never thought of that possibility. He’d often had to remind Knox
to take better care of himself, and Knox’s tendency to get into fights over
the smallest things did sometimes leave him bruised, but he’d never done or
said anything that might suggest he wasn’t happy with his life… or
whatever else Frank was suggesting.
Still, now that thought had been planted in Liv’s mind, he was close to
shaking, beside himself with the worry that the amazing sex they’d shared
might have pushed Knox over some edge he wasn’t aware of. His odd
behavior during the drive back now made sense: the silence, the flat smiles,
the need for solitude. And Liv had been too fucking dense to notice that the
most important person in this entire rotten world was not being himself.
“Shit… I don’t know. I just… he seemed happy right after.”
“Okay.” Frank nodded and put his hand on Liv’s shoulder which felt…
oddly reassuring. Maybe it was that Frank looked around forty, or his sheer
size and presence, but he made Liv think back to his old man, and how he’d
never made Liv feel like this. Like shit would be okay.
A shadow emerged from the darkness making Liv flinch, but when he
saw the stranger’s spear, he realized this had to be Jag.
Frank shook his head. “Hanging around?”
“I don’t trust strangers.” Jag grumbled and took off his creepy leather
mask, revealing a surprisingly normal face. Some would even call it
handsome. And while the loincloth of leather straps and an epaulet made
out of a car bumper were strange clothing choices, this guy somehow made
them work. In a… desolate world warrior kind of way. The look made a lot
more sense after what Liv had learned about Jag from Shane.
Liv turned toward him, not caring that just yesterday Jag’s spear had been
pointing at Knox, because right now this was the person who could help
find him. “Did you see where Knox went?”
Jag stepped closer just as Shane joined him with Cerberus.
“I did see which path he took, but I had to make the call whether to
follow him or not. With you still around my people, you were the greater
danger, so I let him go.”
Liv stared at him in disbelief. “Seriously?”
“A moose is just an animal, and Frank tells me it can destroy a ca—”
“Can we just go after him? We need something with his scent, so
Cerberus knows what he’s looking for,” Shane said, holding the pit bull
close to his leg.
 This made sense at least, so Liv nodded and sprinted toward the
workshop, glad there was something he could do.
Hang on there, Knox. I’m coming for you!

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 17

Knox

KNOX COULDN’T STOP CRYING.

If he tried to bite his cheek to stop, there would now be a hole in it, so
he’d done the only logical thing and cried his heart out in the cab of a rusted
truck.
Liv would be angry at him for disappearing without a word, but Knox
needed the space.
He didn’t want the are-you-okays and the it-will-be-all rights. He needed
to sit with this new revelation about himself, separated from Liv’s
enthusiasm and kisses. He didn’t feel like he deserved them when all he
could think about was that Knox’s father had smelled the truth about him all
along.
Knox was gay. As gay as one could be, if he was turned on by sucking
another guy’s schlong without being touched back.
Pretending otherwise would have been useless. Denying it? Pointless.
And Liv didn’t care. In fact, he’d seemed more than happy in bed with
Knox. So why did it hurt so much to be a disappointment to a father who’d
never been kind, and whom Knox would likely never see again?
Or was he just inconsolable because what happened earlier proved once
and for all that his life would never be the same? He could no longer
pretend to be a guy who didn’t have that high of a libido. He couldn’t be
one of the guys ever again, because the dudes he’d grown up with could
never see him as such if they found out he could potentially, maybe, be into
them.
He shamelessly let out another sob.
Another thing his father had been right about.
Knox was a crybaby.
A wuss.
Weak in body and mind.
How pathetic was it that even now, despite all that happened, all he
wanted was for Liv to reassure him by doing something normal, like having
a drink while watching sports together?
As if Liv hadn’t saved his ass enough times. Even with Vlad. Who the
fuck knew what would have happened if Liv hadn’t been there. It should
have been Knox’s fight, but Liv had stepped in to deliver the final push and
take on the burden of killing the bastard.
Another thing to be ashamed of: his reliance on another man, when he
should have gone off to lead a life of his own long ago. He kind of hoped he
and Amanda could have moved in together, and if that happened, then
maybe-possibly, he could have forever lived blind to his true nature.
Would that have been so bad?
Deep down he knew the answer. It would have been miserable, and he
would have argued with Amanda constantly. If not about the kids that
would have surely appeared, then over him spending his free time with his
buddy Liv instead of her.
As difficult as that was to admit, maybe Liv really did save his ass by
taking her from Knox?
A bark tore him out of his thoughts, and when he looked up, several
flashlights turned their blinding rays straight at him.
At his shame.
The fuck?
“I see him!” called out a voice, and moments later, the door of the old
truck was ripped open, leaving Knox face-to-face with the masked man
who’d chased him and Liv down the night before. But just as he leaned
back, ready for the inevitable stab with the spear, the man, Jag, leapt back
and gave a strange howl.
“Here! Here!”
 Knox quickly used his T-shirt to rub his face, but one glance at his eyes in
the rearview mirror told him he couldn’t hide the fact that he’d been crying.
“What’s going on?” he asked as Jag stepped back, making room for Liv
sprinting their way over a pile of squashed cans.
Jag crossed his arms over his leather-clad chest. He looked back to the
fast-approaching flashlights. “I told you I’d be better than the dog.”
“The dog didn’t have anything that could have properly soaked up the
scent, because Ezra is laundry-mad,” Shane complained somewhere in the
background.
But then Liv grabbed the open door and the handle attached to the side of
the truck and pulled himself up, filling up the entrance.
“Jesus, Knox!”
Before Knox could have said a thing, Liv climbed inside and pulled him
close. “Fuck, I was so worried!”
Finding himself in Liv’s arms was comforting and infuriating all at once.
“About what? I’m fine,” he muttered, but when Liv hugged him, his voice
broke anyway.
Liv pulled away and grabbed Knox’s face with one hand, digging his
fingers hard into Knox’s cheeks. His brown eyes were on fire, and as he
spoke, his face twisted into an ugly scowl. “What the fuck? You just left
without a word after what happened at the party? You can’t do that to me! I
was worried you might have fainted, or just fucking left, or fell into a trap
—”
“I’m not a baby! And what fucking trap?” Knox asked, confused when a
flashlight shone straight in his eyes. He pushed Liv, overwhelmed by all the
attention. This was exactly what he’d tried to avoid.
Liv seemed blind to all the people around him and just kept talking,
pulling Knox out of the cab. “Yes, you are a fucking baby! You refuse to
talk and then just walk out on me. What the actual fuck? You’re the only
one I have, Knox! The only one! Don’t you fucking dare do this again!”
Liv’s words speared right through Knox’s heart, because they reflected
his feelings. Liv was the only person he could trust not to let him down, the
only constant. He would have flipped his shit if Liv disappeared on him this
way.
Tears filled his eyes so rapidly he lowered his head to hide it. “You don’t
understand because you like girls. And me? I’m a faggot just like my dad
said!”
 Before he could even finish the sentence, Cerberus barked and pulled on
his leash so abruptly, he yanked it out of Shane’s grip. A blink of an eye
later, the pit bull charged at Knox, all teeth and violence.
Knox’s eyes went wide and he acted on pure instinct, jumping on the
hood of the truck, but the dog still managed to close his teeth on the leg of
his jeans. The beast yanked on the fabric with a growl, but then Liv stepped
in, looping his arm around Cerberus’s neck in an attempt to pull him away.
“Down! Fuck, down boy, down!” Shane cried, and the dog finally let go.
Liv only stopped struggling against the beast when Shane roughly shoved
him away. “Don’t you touch my dog!”
“He was biting Knox! What was I supposed to do?”
“Teach him to not throw around slurs, because I train my dogs to react to
them, in case Ros is on his own somewhere!”
Knox slid down from the hood of the truck, holding his chest where his
heart was working overtime. “S-sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t… mean it
like that.”
Shane scowled at him. “Oh yeah? What other way is there? I don’t care.
Don’t call yourself that as an insult. So you like dick. Boo-fucking-hoo.
Live a little.”
Frank approached, pulling Shane a step back. “He’s just a kid, Shane.
Give him a break.”
Liv was oddly still, leaning against the side of the rusty vehicle and
staring at the dog, which received a fast back rub from its owner.
And now Knox felt bad about what he’d said on top of his own
meltdown. He was so used to throwing that word around, he hadn’t thought
twice. In fact, he’d used it to express how angry he was at himself, but in
the process he’d offended the people who’d given them shelter.
And now Liv was upset with him. Liv, who didn’t deserve any of this,
and was all the way here in Pennsylvania because he’d saved Knox’s life.
Frank was the one to speak out. “I think we could all use a drink. How
about that?” He patted Liv’s stiff shoulder. “Let’s go. You two can stay a
few feet behind and talk, but don’t fall back too far.”
Liv murmured a thanks and rubbed his face before meeting Knox’s gaze.
Now that the high-beam flashlights turned the other way, his pale T-shirt
was the most visible part of him. “This homophobic shit needs to end,
Knox. I’m serious,” he said, peeling himself away from the vehicle.
 Knox followed with his shoulders slouched. “It’s just… I got
overwhelmed. I started thinking about my dad, and tonight everything got
so real,” he mumbled, kind of wanting to hold Liv’s hand, yet unsure how
to go about such a thing.
Liv growled so loudly Cerberus looked back at them before Shane
commanded him to heel again. “Why would you fucking care, huh? You
hate the fucker, he beat you up as a kid, and he’s rotting away because he
assaulted some poor family. Why would you care about his opinion, huh?”
“I guess I’m angry that I proved him right after so many years of trying to
show him he was wrong about me. And I am a crybaby. I literally walked
off because I didn’t want you to see my meltdown.”
Liv spun around, placed both his hands on Knox’s shoulders and studied
him in a way that had Knox forgetting his own name. “It doesn’t matter if
he knew you were gay… somehow. Nothing wrong with liking guys. Fuck
him. He’s not the one who helped us out. Those gay guys did. And if you
want to cry, don’t run away. Come to me. I’ll take care of you.”
Knox’s eyes welled up, and he sniffed, unable to fight back the tears
anymore. He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Liv’s neck.
They took care of each other, but Liv was older, had his shit together, and
when Knox’s dad went to prison, Liv had been there for him. Not his
useless mom, out for a new guy to sponge off a month later. Liv.
“Maybe that’s why I walked away. Because you would have cheered me
up, said kind things to me, and I wanted to punish myself.” Knox squeezed
Liv, wishing to never let go.
Liv exhaled, stroking Knox’s back with tenderness he didn’t deserve, but
that was Liv—always seeing people for better than they actually were. “You
don’t deserve to be punished. We had fun, or so I thought, but then you
disappeared and all I could think of was that I fucked something up, or hurt
you, or said some wrong thing when I just wanted to talk dirty—”
“You didn’t. I never felt that way before. It was hot.” Knox unwrapped
himself from Liv so they could start walking. He tentatively slid his hand
into Liv’s and felt an exhilarating tremor in his heart when Liv squeezed
back. “It made me realize I never knew what sex should be. I went through
the motions, but I wasn’t there. With you, it was so fucking raw. Like I
wanted to eat you alive. And since I knew women don’t do that for me, I
freaked out.”
 Liv’s hold on his hand tightened, and he rubbed his thumb along Knox’s
hand as if he were afraid Knox might break otherwise. But this time, Knox
let him do it and chose not to take it personally. If Liv wanted to take care
of him, maybe Knox should let him?
“If it happens again, you can talk to me. Or we can... you know... maybe
you need to hold back a bit on the sex? Have more time to get around the
idea that you’re gay?”
Knox’s stomach clenched with nerves, but the darkness and walking side
by side made talking easier.
“Are you saying you don’t wanna do it again? Was it too weird for you?”
Liv let go of his hand and pulled Knox under his arm. “What? No. It was
great. I mean, so hot it has my brain buzzing. But maybe you want to slow
down? It’s a big change, so don’t feel pressured.”
Knox snorted and pushed closer. “I don’t wanna slow down. I want it all.
I feel like I have years of fucking to catch up on. And maybe this is the
attitude that made all the women flock to you. You listen. You make me feel
safe, like you won’t judge me.”
Liv stalled, taking a deep breath, but just as Knox wanted to ask if he was
all right, Liv offered him a wide grin and leaned in for a sweet, unexpected
smooch. God, somehow he smelled even better now.
“Well, I wouldn’t. So this man, and his little friend are ready to fulfill all
your secret fantasies.”
Knox snorted and slid his arm around Liv’s waist. “Not so little. Ask me
how I know. Seriously though?” He glanced forward, to make sure the other
guys were far enough to not overhear him. “I had no idea it could feel this
good. I was pretty ready for it to hurt like fuck and disappoint me on top of
that.”
Liv’s little fist-pump wasn’t as discreet as he probably thought, but Knox
didn’t point it out as Liv spoke. “You deserve to have fun. I’ll always make
sure you do, okay?”
“I trust you,” Knox said simply, because this was what it came down to.
Whatever happened, he trusted Liv would at least try to do what’s best for
them. And that included sex.
He had no idea what they were to each other now, but maybe it didn’t
matter. Weren’t they the same best friends who’d kill for each other and
now just added fucking to the equation?
Liv sighed. “Thanks. The past half an hour was… tough.”
 Knox gave him a curious glance. “Why? You thought I’d leave? After
what we’ve been through? Where would I even go with my fucked up heart
without your lockpicking skills?” He patted Liv’s side to lighten the mood.
“I don’t take you for granted,” Liv said, and he sounded serious for once.
Warmth flooded Knox’s insides despite the chill in the air. “Come on,
man. My teeth are gonna rot. Is that what you say to all your girls?” he
asked to hide how much it affected him.
Liv snorted and kissed his cheekbone. “Only to the ones I picked as
mothers for my children,” he said, which was confusing, because Liv had
no kids.
“You’re such a dumbass. At least with me there won’t be any child
support to pay, ‘cause you’re sure as fuck not knocking me up. Feel free to
try though.” He winked at Liv, exhilarated when he thought back to Liv
coming inside him.
“A challenge,” Liv said, and his hand trailed down Knox’s back, petting
his ass in a deliciously teasing motion. “I like that. I’ll only stop when it
happens.”
Which was a weird way to promise a forever, but Knox would take that
with a grain of salt. He didn’t want to think about the future when they
didn’t have a place to call their own and depended on Ezra for tomorrow’s
food.
“Sooo… You sure you haven’t done it with a guy before?” Knox side-
eyed him, thinking back to Liv’s confession about gay porn. They could
already see the lights of the house, so they didn’t have that much time, and
he was itching to know.
Liv hummed and leaned in, his whisper so hot it pulled on Knox’s balls.
“You were my first.”
Knox could only hope the novelty didn’t wear off any time soon. “Give
me time to practice, and I’ll learn how to deepthroat,” he promised in an
attempt to flirt. Strange how natural it felt.
It elicited a bright laugh, and Liv grinned. “May I be the practice banana?
Pretty pretty please?”
Knox laughed out loud, because he knew exactly what this was about. “I
don’t think you know what you’re asking for. Didn’t I break four of them
and still failed? I’m not breaking your dick. It’s too precious.”
“Good thing that it’s gonna be hard as steel when you wrap your rosy lips
around it.”
 They reached into the yard in front of Frank’s door as the other guys
already poured into the house.
Knox licked his lips. “You wanna…?” He pointed to the workshop with
his head, and seeing Liv brighten up like a dog about to be taken for a walk
changed something inside Knox. He felt... powerful. Liv had such an ease
picking up chicks that he could be quite blasé about sex at times, so seeing
him this excited, almost as if a night with Knox was the reward he’d been
waiting for all along, tickled Knox’s ego.
“I’m going to kiss every inch of you,” Liv rasped, sending a shiver down
Knox’s body. He was already leading the way toward the workshop when
Frank cleared his throat.
“After the night we had because of you? You’re not avoiding us tonight.
Come in.” He gestured to the door and as much as Knox wanted to get
another taste of Liv’s dick, they were on shaky ground and needed all the
allies they could get.
Before going in, Knox gave Liv a quick kiss. Just because he could.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 18

Knox

“BUT, LIKE, HOW IS it, that getting a smooch to the back of my head
feels gayer than a dick up my ass, you know?” Knox slurred, to a roar of
laughter. Even the dog joined in by barking.
He slouched over the table and shook his head. His inhibitions on gay
topics disappeared around beer number five, and maybe that was for the
better, because he had questions.
Jag had left to spend the evening with his mate, though Ros had
speculated that Jag might be hanging around the house somewhere, still
unsure of Liv and Knox. They all sat around the dining table made out of a
large chunk of polished wood, but the many stains told a story of the parties
that had come before this one.
It was warm inside the house, and, weirdly enough, the temperature
somehow reached Knox’s heart, putting it at peace as he leaned into Liv’s
embrace, losing his inhibitions by watching the other two couples together.
Liv hummed. “If I were you, the dick up my ass would definitely feel
gayer,” he said with the slightest mumble.
Knox turned his head just enough to graze his lips over Liv’s stubbly
cheek. He was now allowed to do this? Absolutely fucking crazy.
Shane shook his head, going through the bottle of whiskey he shared with
Frank. “In the can lots of guys fucked around, but almost no one was gay. A
mystery how that happens.”
“Sometimes, you just want another warm body, I guess. And you don’t
have to like guys to fuck them. I’ve known several men who did that
because it paid well,” Ezra muttered against his glass of cognac and stroked
Frank’s shoulder, absent-mindedly watching the wall.
It still blew Knox’s mind that not only had he had sex with Liv, but also
now hung out with not one, but four other gay guys. And couples at that,
who weren’t shy about showing affection. As if it was normal. Maybe it
was and he needed to get used to it.
Alcohol was helping, and he might just want to sit in Liv’s lap soon.
“And I wasn’t even allowed to wrestle ‘cause my dad said it was gay to
touch guys so much,” Knox said, taking a big swig of beer. Just the memory
made the drink taste sour. “This one time I was wrestling with some kid. I
had to be like twelve or something, and I got a bit of a boner. Maybe he saw
that I wasn’t putting my all into winning, connected the dots and that’s why
he pulled me out of the classes.”
Frank’s hard features twisted. “He couldn’t have noticed if you were
close together.”
Liv put his entire face in Knox’s hair, breathed in against his scalp and
gave it a kiss. “Your old man’s got shit for brains. That level of obsession
with that topic is not normal.”
Ros, who’d definitely had a bit too much to drink at this point, rested
both his arms on the table and used them as a pillow. “Maybe he’s one of
those people, who are scared of something inside them and then see it
everywhere? All my dad cared about was that my coming out would ruin
his reputation. Fuck ‘em.”
Knox shrugged. “Well, he’s in prison now, so who knows, maybe he’s
discovering a whole lot about himself.”
Ros laughed out loud, pushing some hair off his face. “You did not! Then
again, my dad’s in prison too. Imagine them meeting?”
Knox shook his head. “Nah, mine’s back in California. He’d be so pissed
off if he knew what I’m doing.”
Liv twisted in his seat as he put both his arms around Knox. “He’s a
shithead. Bad fucking person all around. Forget about him. He doesn’t
matter.”
Knox had to take a deep breath, but it only made him want to cry again.
Liv was so sweet. So understanding. Always on his side. Always had been,
even before everything had changed. Knox was just finding it easier to
accept now.
Ezra put down his glass and rose. Knox half-expected him to disappear to
the bathroom, but he returned with a massive, unopened jar of chocolate
cream. He put it right in front of Knox, along with a box of vanilla wafers
and a spoon.
Shane whistled. “Dirty secrets?”
Ezra’s face twisted as he rejoined Frank on their side of the table. “It’s not
mine. Dex left it here, but I think Knox might… need it,” he added, hiding
behind the glass as if this small kindness was something to be embarrassed
about.
“I’m fine,” Knox muttered, but greedily pulled the jar close. “He was just
so shit to me, you know? No matter how hard I tried, I was always too weak
in his eyes because of my stupid heart thing. I even won a kickboxing
competition at one point, and he said it was because I was in the lightweight
category.” Just thinking back to it made Knox stuff his mouth with a whole
spoon of chocolate cream.
The collective groan shook the room, and Frank shook his head with
bitterness curling his lips. “Some people should not have children. Pity it’s
not hard to make a baby. My father beat me until I proved that I could strike
back.”
Ezra kissed his shoulder, his beautiful face full of understanding. “I’m not
in touch with my parents either. They both failed me.”
Knox’s throat tightened. He didn’t expect his hosts to open up like this so
soon. Maybe it was just the booze, but maybe the common thread they
shared crumbled walls that would normally stay in place. If that was the
case, could he leave his own down too? And going by these confessions
about parents, most of them had found family here, with each other, instead
of trying to please society.
Knox leaned into Liv and put his arm over his shoulders, but watched
Ezra. “I’m sorry.”
Ros snorted and winked at Ezra. “Don’t be. He found himself a daddy.”
Frank rolled his eyes, and Ezra shook his head in disapproval. “Wow.
Next you’ll say his magical dick healed my daddy issues.”
Ros, who was now drunk enough to find that funny, broke into a long
giggle. “I’m s-sorry.”
 “No, you’re not,” Ezra said, and when Ros stirred, it became clear he’d
gotten a playful kick under the table. “Full disclosure, I do not need a father
figure. Just a man who has enough emotional intelligence to be an excellent
partner,” he said, facing Frank.
Frank’s self-satisfied smile was all the answer needed as he put his arm
over Ezra’s shoulders and stroked his ear.
Seeing two men interact like this still felt a bit odd. Would Knox act like
that around Liv in a year or two? Like a married couple with a house and
their shit together? It was hard to imagine such a future. Sure, they’d lived
together before, but like two brothers, not a couple, and they’d skipped all
the transitional steps, going from nothing to fucking and cuddling within
less than a day.
Would the sex change everything? He loved the relationship he had with
Liv, their stupid jokes, and teasing, and didn’t want to end up being treated
like Liv’s girlfriend. Liv romanced women intensely only to fly off to
another pretty flower that caught his attention. But for Knox, he’d always
seemed to have endless understanding and patience. If Knox did indeed
have daddy issues, he did not want to lose his best friend trying to heal
them through sex.
Shane yawned, but even he had red cheeks from the booze. “Jesus, Ezra.
We know, Frank is perfect husband material.”
“What is this daddy thing anyway? I see it everywhere recently,” Liv
said, slurping from his bottle as he stroked Knox’s arm, happy as ever. It
was hard to look away from those beautiful tattooed hands that had held
Knox with such confidence just a few hours back. “If I’m to get a bit of an
incestuous vibe in bed, I’d rather have Knox call me stepbro.”
Knox’s cheeks flamed, and he laughed, remembering how he once got
stuck under a car, and they made the help-me-stepbro-I’m-stuck! jokes for
at least an hour. That situation might have escalated in a different way now.
“I’d be like, ‘Mom and Dad are away, stepbro, you wanna jerk each other
off as we eat pizza’?” He caught Liv’s gaze, thinking back to the years
they’d spent together. They could have been doing that. Then again, Liv had
always been all about getting new chicks… and did it with the mastery of a
prodigy born to charm and woo.
Ros chuckled, his face sliding off his hand from sleepiness. “I used to be
in a fraternity, you know. Those guys would do the gayest shit on dares but
claim to be completely straight.”
 “You never know. Some people only find out things about themselves
later in life,” Liv said and gave Knox’s head a little kiss that set fire to the
mess of thoughts tumbling through Knox’s mind.
What was he saying? That Knox had been so blind to his own needs, or
was he referring to his own sudden-onset interest in men?
And was he now only into Knox, or was he about to fuck his way through
guys the way he always did with women? It didn't matter when their
relationship had been chaste, but now? Just thinking about Liv going off to
sleep with other people had his chest aching and his fists itching to punch a
wall.
Knox downed his beer to blur those worries, because Liv was right there,
so tender it was both sickly and delicious.
Ros shook his head and smirked at Shane. “I just find it really funny that
my dad forced me to join a fraternity, probably thinking it would make me
straight, yet that’s where I lost my virginity.”
“Was it part of hazing?” Liv asked, but as Shane sucked in air, Ros
shushed him with a broad, drunken gesture.
“No. This guy came in, and he only left once he talked his way into my
bed,” Ros said with a grin and playfully rested his cheek on Shane’s
shoulder. “He’s a shithead, but I love him.”
Shane smirked. “You were just thirsty and maybe a bit easy. To the power
of good D,” he said, shielding his face from Ros’s playful punches as he
raised his glass.
Ros started laughing and joined the toast. On a whim, Knox raised his
new bottle of beer.
“The kind of D that can make you gay,” Knox said, biting his lip.
“There are other things that can tempt you to go gay,” Liv whispered
loudly enough to be heard by everyone, and as if his meaning wasn’t clear
enough, his hand descended down Knox’s back, settling on the top of his
ass.
“You don’t just turn gay. You either are gay or not,” Ezra said, sounding a
bit drunker than before, but Liv didn’t miss a beat.
“Doesn’t matter though, does it? It’s our bodies, and we can do with them
what we want. Whether it’s because you’re born liking guys or just get to
like them at some point for whatever reason shouldn’t matter, should it?”
Knox shook his head. “Well, in my dad’s opinion, so many things can
make you gay. Like, one time, I wanted to get a nose piercing and he said
I’d look gay. That gay guys would see it as an invitation. And I was sixteen
and dumb enough to believe it. I wanted that piercing so much, man…”
Liv was the one to break the sudden silence. “You should do it! You’d
look hot with something here,” he said, giving Knox’s septum a gentle
pinch.
Ros grinned, looking a bit like a sinister elf when he leaned over the table
and his wavy hair fell around his face. “I’ve got a ring to spare,” he pointed
to his ear. “Titanium.”
Liv nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it, I can pierce you.”
Knox’s heartbeat sped up, and a silly part of him loved that he’d do
something his dad had talked him out of. “Hell yeah!”
“This escalated quickly,” Shane said, watching Ros remove the pale ring
locked with a little ball.
Ezra got up, heading straight to the stove, even though his stride seemed
the slightest bit unsteady. “Let’s boil it for a bit. And I have cosmetic
needles. Should work just fine.”
“Do you actually know what you’re doing?” Frank asked, squinting Liv’s
way, but Knox already knew they’d go through with it. Tonight. Right now.
Fuck his deadbeat dad.
Liv raised his hands. “I used to date a piercer. I know things. She even
pierced her own nipples.”
Knox waved it off with a grin. “Liv’s good at this stuff.” Liv was good at
everything.
Shane leaned back in his chair with a skeptical expression. “I mean, it’s
not my nose falling off in case this ends badly.”
“It’s gonna be great, and look hot,” Knox glanced to Liv for confirmation,
already sitting on the table, right under the lamp.
“Are you sending Daddy a photo?” Frank asked with a smirk as the water
boiled, sterilizing the ring inside one of Ezra’s steel pots.
Knox smirked. “I just fucking might, along with the picture of my middle
finger.”
How was he so at ease with these guys? Sure, he was on his sixth beer—
or should he be counting the ones at the biker party—but it was about the
vibe here. Sure, he always liked to show off a little, but he didn’t feel like
he needed to compete with these guys or pretend to like pussy more than he
did. He could be himself. Truly. Maybe for the first time ever. And that was
exhilarating.
 Earlier today, he’d sulked that he’d never be one of the guys again now
that he was gay. But those men treated him like one of their own already,
based on an invisible bond, an experience they all shared in one way or
another, which brought them closer within hours not years.
Ezra soon approached them with a whole tray of supplies, which for some
reason included a small, well-cleaned and peeled potato. “You need some
booze for… you know, pain?” Ezra asked, but Liv was already putting on
the latex gloves he’d been given. With a cocky smile in place, he looked
like he was about to have fun, not help Knox fulfill an old wish. But then
again, hadn’t he already done that earlier, equally happy with himself?
“He’ll be fine. My Knox is a powerhouse.”
The room seemed to shrink around them.
My Knox.
Yeah, that was what Knox wanted. To belong to Liv. To be with him.
“I drank enough, it’ll be a breeze,” Knox said without fear. After what
he’d been through tonight, a little sting would be nothing.
His heart rattled when Liv approached, and he spread his legs with a silly
grin, letting Liv between them.
“Look, he’s already learned the right moves,” Shane pointed out,
laughing when Liv showed him the finger.
He then proceeded to nudge Knox’s chin up, so he could see his nose
better. The frown pinching his eyebrows was so damn sexy it made Knox’s
balls throb. Liv was still smiling, but his eyes? They were cool with focus
as he picked up the needle and pinched Knox’s septum. Pleasure welled up
inside Knox, soon followed by pain that had tears welling up in his eyes.
But it only lasted a moment. He licked his lips when a few drops of blood
dripped down his face.
“Sit still,” Liv instructed as he pushed the ring through, then locked it
with the ball.
Everything was changing tonight, including Knox’s looks. He got the
piercing he’d always wanted, the man he desired, and would go to bed with
him in a warm room, fairly certain that they wouldn’t wake up to cops
standing over them come morning.
He had no idea what these changes would mean for them in the future,
but right now, he was happy.
“How’s it look?” he asked Liv with his heart drumming like mad from
excitement.
 Liv took a deep breath, and just as Knox deflated, Liv made a choked
sound and shook his hands around his head, imitating an explosion.
“My mind is fucking blown. Damn, Knox, you’re even more of a snack
now. How do you do it?”
Knox’s smile widened. Sure, lots of girls were attracted to him, but no
compliments had ever mattered as much as this one. It made his whole body
vibrate with glee as if he were a puppy given a treat for the first time.
“Power of good D,” he said, winking at Liv. He barely registered the
laughter behind him when Liv got up and kissed him, uncaring about the
tangy taste of blood on their tongues. Knox’s hands went for Liv’s sides,
and he groaned in pleasure, lost in the moment.
Fuck did he want Liv between his legs again. He was such an absolute
hunk. The roses tattooed on his neck, his dark eyes, big hands, and muscular
arms, made him irresistible even before he’d open his mouth to be his
charming, cocky self.
“Someone needs to get a room,” Shane said with fondness in his voice.
“But we’re staying, right?” Ros asked, and while Knox’s gaze was busy
ogling Liv’s handsome face, he imagined the long-haired hottie pouncing
on his man.
Which was… new. He’d always avoided such thoughts, blocking them
out of his mind.
“I suppose you could, but you’re already drunk as hell,” Ezra said.
“You’d need to stay in the guest room.”
“Fine by me,” Shane said. “It will be like old times at Frank’s.”
But Knox didn’t listen, too focused on Liv who looked so happy with his
handiwork as he put his arms on Knox’s shoulders in a gesture Knox had
often seen him do with girlfriends. They stood together surrounded by new
friends, but all he noticed was Liv’s scent, rich and musky and oddly
harmonious with that of blood.
Knox hadn’t even seen his new septum ring yet, and he already loved it.
“Let me just take a quick shower, and I’ll be right with you,” Knox
whispered, eager to wash off the grime of the day, no matter how exciting it
had been.
Liv’s mouth crooked, and he leaned in to whisper straight in Knox’s ear,
his scent dense with anticipation. “And I’ll be right on you.”
This man would be the death of Knox, and he welcomed every single
thing coming his way.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 19

Liv

THINGS WERE PROGRESSING REAL fast, and the moment Knox

disappeared into the bathroom, that fact hit Liv in the face with the weight
of a brick.
He liked to think of himself as a spontaneous guy, and most of the time
that worked out well for him, but once Knox was off his radar, safe and no
longer distracting him with cute smiles, Liv’s brain buzzed with doubts.
Because what was he doing? He’d never considered approaching a guy for
sex before the ruse that had only started twenty-four hours ago, and all of a
sudden he was becoming something more than Knox’s pretend boyfriend.
Doing things with guys wasn’t even the issue, but maybe Knox had been
right about one thing—they couldn’t let this fuck up their pre-existing
relationship. They were still bros. Just added fucking to the mix, right?
He sat on the sofa, waiting for Knox, and in the corner of his eye he could
see Ezra and Frank in the kitchen. The massive mountain of a man with a
braid like Khal Drogo was gently stroking the small of Ezra’s back as Ezra
washed the dishes. He leaned in to whisper something into his partner’s ear.
Whatever it was, it made Ezra smile, then give him a kiss.
Surely, that wouldn’t be him and Knox. They weren’t sweet like that.
They liked to shoot the shit, and while they now made out as if they’d only
discovered their tongues, it wasn’t romantic. The very idea of Knox
bringing him flowers or the other way around was so ridiculous Liv had to
bite his lip to not laugh out loud.
Still, knowing Knox had been so upset over his sexuality broke Liv’s
heart. Knox deserved the best. So while Knox was showering, Liv made a
little mental list of good things about being gay.
When Knox emerged from the bathroom with damp hair and a flush of
color in his cheeks, Liv once again found himself charmed into thinking
that maybe he was overthinking it. Like with all good things he should go
with the flow.
It made him lowkey annoyed that he’d somehow overlooked how hot
Knox was all those years. As his best friend approached, eyes shining with
the one question that could possibly be on his mind at this point, Liv chased
away doubts and grabbed his hand, leading the way to the door.
He’d had sex with too many people to remember their exact number, but
being with Knox was… different. Not just because of the surface-level
difference between male and female bodies but because everything about
him—his scent, his gaze, the way he acted—called out to Liv, making him
soften and itch to be close.
Then again, maybe it wasn’t that complicated? They cared about one
another, and giving Knox what he needed felt special. He got to see a
sweeter, more vulnerable side of Knox, which was addictive and curious in
itself. And since Liv got amazing sex on top of that, then, well… it was
difficult to say no.
“Goodnight, don’t have an orgy without us!” Liv called out as he opened
the door.
Frank glanced back at him, shaking his head. “Fucking Shane would be
like fucking my brother. Then again, you two seem to be into that.”
Liv didn’t answer, because when Knox laughed, he also tripped down the
stairs, and Liv was quick to grab him by the back of the hoodie, then his
arm.
“Oh, fuck. I’m so drunk.” Knox laughed as soon as he was vertical again.
“That only means you’ll be easier,” Liv chuckled and shut the door with
his foot before sliding his arms around Knox and guiding him down the
steps in the faint light of the lamp at the front of Frank’s house.
Knox’s blue eyes were a bit sleepy. The piercing did suit him. Made him
look a little more dangerous, which was pretty hot. The fact that Liv had put
it there, was even hotter.
 “If you think it’s ever gonna be hard for you to get in my pants, then you
can stop worrying.”
Oh.
A voice inside Liv prompted him to ask Knox how long he’d been pining
for Liv, but he knew better than to embarrass him when everything was still
so fresh.
“Same, bro, same. All you need to do is open my fly, and I’ll poke out,
ready to go,” he said with a grin as he dragged Knox toward the workshop.
Knox gave him a drunken grin and slid his arm around Liv’s waist. “I’m
still wrapping my head around it,” he admitted when they entered the dark
building. “Is this, like… how girls feel when they’re horny, or is this a gay
thing to want dick so much?”
His pretty face scrunched into a thoughtful expression.
Liv snorted. “I think it’s very much a horny guy thing. Whether it’s about
dick or tits doesn’t matter, but I like knowing you are really into me,” he
said and spun Knox around, getting into his personal space as soon as they
entered the workshop and switched on the lights.
Knox chuckled, but Liv’s sudden move made him stumble at a work table
covered with a cow-patterned cloth. It slid to the floor when Knox tugged it,
reflexively grabbing the first thing in his way.
The fabric wasn’t attached to anything, and Knox fell to the floor, along
with it. Liv swore, about to help him up, but then stilled and stared at the
sight revealed to him.
Standing on the large worktop was a metal frame, about a foot high, with
one arm protruding upward, and finished with a simple dildo.
“I’m tangled up! Help!” Knox whined, rolling on the floor and getting
ever more wrapped up in the fabric.
Seeing him struggle made Liv break out with laughter. “Oh no, you won’t
ever get to see Frank’s dirty little secret, and you’re the one who uncovered
it,” Liv said, taking his time to study the device, but since a metal cover
obscured the mechanism, it was hard to assess how it worked.
“What? What is it?” Knox only got more frantic, until he managed to get
his head out. He looked up with his lips parted and hair in a tangled nest.
“Wh…at is it? Wait. Is that a fuck machine?”
Liv stepped closer, and as Knox pulled himself up, Liv’s gaze searched
the device for a switch. There was one, alongside a dial with several
numbers around its circumference, but Liv didn’t think, and made the
machine come to life.
Knox’s eyes went wide as the dildo started pumping the air right in front
of them. At first, he covered his mouth and stared, but then pushed Liv
toward it, surprising him enough that the rubber dick poked at Liv’s
stomach.
Knox started giggling. “It’s fucking you.”
“That thing’s horny,” rolled off Liv’s tongue as he met Knox’s gaze and
grinned. “You think it ever got any action, or is it still a virgin?”
Knox poked the fake dick with a silly grin. “I think Frank is still
perfecting this baby. Maybe he can’t get it up anymore.”
Liv pulled him close, grabbed his hand and led it to the cock poking the
air. The noise of the small engine was hypnotic, even if the scent of oil and
solvent did not contribute to an erotic atmosphere.
“Or maybe he goes away sometimes and doesn’t want Ezra to get lonely,
huh?” Liv whispered, placing one hand on Knox’s stomach and resting his
chin on his shoulder as they watched the dildo.
A shiver went through Knox’s body, and it seemed to resonate with
something inside Liv. “We don’t need one though, do we? You’re not going
anywhere?” he asked, melting Liv’s insides despite the ridiculous situation.
Having him so close made Liv’s blood run faster. His mouth water. His
brain glitch on images of Knox’s pretty face and the sound of his moans
earlier that night.
The machine kept moving, and while it was just a bunch of metal and
rubber, it reminded them of how they got into rhythm together. How good it
felt to connect, tug, and squeeze.
How Knox had said his name when he lost it.
“Maybe it should rest. You don’t know when it’s gonna get busy,” Liv
whispered, inhaling the almond shower gel off Knox’s ear.
Knox chuckled, but turned off the machine, staring at the dildo, yet
molding his back into Liv. “Have you ever watched porn with it?”
Flipping the switch couldn’t erase the growing tension between the two
of them, and Liv moved his palm up Knox’s chest, all the way to his long
neck.
Damn, was there anything at all about him that wasn’t hot?
“Yeah, but just with girls. You?”
 He wanted to know all Knox’s secrets, all the sex things Knox had never
shared with him.
Knox’s Adam’s apple moved right under Liv’s palm when he swallowed.
“N-not really. I’ve seen it in passing, but I always liked to watch couples.
I… I think maybe it’s because I actually wanted to watch the guy. I liked
watching closeups.”
Despite the subject, Knox sounded so vulnerable, so sweet Liv wanted to
bite into him and suck out his juices.
He heard himself make a soft sound as he stroked Knox’s Adam’s apple
while gently rolling his hips against that beautiful ass. Now that they were
doing this, he wouldn’t just see Knox’s bare butt in passing, and he planned
to enjoy all the benefits of the change in their relationship. “That makes so
much sense.”
“Then how did I not see it when it was right in front of me?” Knox said
quietly, as he booped the tip of the rubber dick. “How did you know to just
get on top of me yesterday and that I’d like it? Is there something about me
that told you?”
Liv’s hold tightened on Knox, and he pressed his face to the side of
Knox’s neck, enjoying how the firm, toned body trembled in his arms.
Wow. This really was different from holding a girl. Knox was such a solid
presence, with a fire truck engine to power punches and kicks he’d seen this
man deliver.
It was exciting, and not just because of its novelty. He fucking loved to
feel the firm muscle under his fingers. And yet at the same time, Knox
seemed so vulnerable, uncertain, and dependent on warm words from Liv it
was both empowering him and breaking his heart.
“I didn’t plan it. I admit, I had thoughts after we started pretending we’re
a couple, that it felt good to touch you, but in the morning, I was just trying
to wrestle, and things got steamy real fast. And I just went with it because I
saw how you reacted to it. I got horny, you looked hot. But before that day,
I would have never thought you could be into guys.”
“Okay, because my dad said—”
Liv rolled his eyes. Oh, how much he hated that man. “Your dad would
call his own fist gay because it touched a dick.”
Knox lifted Liv’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “So you
weren’t like, pining for my ass while you watched gay porn?” He sniggered
and kissed Liv’s fingers again.
 Liv turned Knox around to face him. When those blue eyes met his, all
innocent yet shining with excitement, his cock throbbed. But it could wait.
They were having an adult conversation here.
“No. I just didn’t… take it into account at all, and that first kiss really did
a number on me.”
Knox leaned in and kissed Liv’s lips, wrapping his arms around him.
Who would have thought that a guy like Knox, who was always a ticking
time bomb of anger, could be this lovely?
“It changed my whole fucking world, Liv. I felt things I never did with
anyone when you kissed me. I knew I shouldn’t let you, but I couldn’t force
myself to stop it. Now, I don’t want to.”
Liv’s heart worked like a turbocharger. “Me neither,” he whispered,
cupping Knox’s face. It was so pretty, yet strong and masculine. The perfect
god of beauty and love, or some shit. The Greeks and Romans should have
carved him in marble and alabaster, but the real thing, made of warm flesh
was right here, with Liv.
The trailer park prince.
Their kiss set off a radiant wave, and in that moment, Liv wished to be
bigger, so he could pick up Knox and carry him to bed.
Everything had its disadvantages.
Knox understood Liv without words when Liv guided them back to their
little room. They never stopped kissing along the way, on the exact same
page about how much they didn’t want to take their hands off each other.
When Knox once more lost his balance and fell to the bed, Liv closed the
door to keep in warmth from the radiator and turned on the desk lamp.
Knox moaned, taking off his hoodie in a hurry. “Come on… You said
you’re gonna be right on me,” he complained.
Liv smirked. “What? Didn’t you say once a week was enough?”
Knox covered his face with his hands, groaning. “Now we know why I
felt that way.”
This was hilarious, and Liv would not let go of a good joke when it fell
into his lap. “Oh no, we can’t overwork you. I’m afraid we’ve reached the
limit for the next two or three weeks at least,” he said but kicked off his
shoes and opened his fly, standing right on the edge of the bed.
Fuck, Knox looked so hot all flushed with embarrassment, on his hands
and knees and scrambling for his attention. He was taking all his clothes off
too, and Liv couldn’t wait to sleep naked next to him.
 “Oh, come on… Don’t make me beg for it. That’s just fucking cruel,
man…” He pouted and sat down, butt-ass naked.
Liv had seen him in his birthday suit so many times, yet it had always
been devoid of sexual tension. He’d noticed that Knox’s ass was nice and
round, or that his back was muscular, or that his nipples were a pale shade
of pink, but never considered what it would be like to have access to Knox’s
body.
Liv’s gaze slid down to Knox’s dick, which was partially obscured by the
sheet, but yeah, hard already. Amanda would have skinned Knox alive if
she knew why he hadn’t been all that interested. Her loss, Liv’s gain.
To be fair, not having her around anymore was both their gain.
Which brought them to the list Liv had made while waiting for Knox at
Frank’s.
“Aw, poor, greedy Knox,” Liv whispered, dropping onto the mattress and
grabbing Knox’s sides. The liver tattooed over the real thing, Knox’s only
tattoo, ended up on his skin on a dare, but now its presence made Liv proud,
made him feel as though Knox had marked himself with his name such a
long time ago already. “I think this will be so good for us.”
Knox snorted and pulled Liv down on top of him, which was in itself
such a hot move Liv could just about combust. Whenever they were
fighting, or even play-wrestling, the aim was always to push away, to fight
the other off. Liv had no idea how much he craved Knox’s acceptance, to be
pulled in, cuddled, and wanted.
“You think? I’m pretty sure there’s lots of problems ahead of us.”
“Nothing we can’t deal with. Our faces didn’t really go beyond local
news a whole lot of country away, and everything else? We can handle it. I
think there will be lots of benefits from this new thing,” Liv rasped, rolling
his hips against Knox as he took in the beautifully sculpted body under him.
The scars left behind by many fights Knox had always thrown himself into
were like beauty marks.
“And you… you’re okay with this? Being with a guy?” Knox whispered,
sliding his fingers down Liv’s arms, his eyes full of amazement.
He would usually not show so much adoration for Liv and play off being
impressed with dumb jokes. Liv could definitely enjoy this new reality
where he was the center of Knox’s interests and own his attention without
sharing it with the likes of Amanda.
 “With you? Oh yeah. Just think about it, Knoxie, it’s perfect,” Liv said,
diving in so their noses could touch. “No condoms. No baby risk. And no
other people always interfering and creating drama. Just us,” he added,
taking a deeper breath when Knox’s cock bobbed against his stomach.
Knox slid his arms around Liv’s neck, looking so cute when drunk. His
eyes had that blurry sheen, and his cheeks were flushed red. “That does
sound perfect.”
Knox pulled him down for a kiss that sparked a fire going all the way
down to Liv’s dick. Even his voice turned Liv on when they were in bed
like this. Now that he saw Knox as not only a friend but also someone he
could fuck around with, everything turned on its head. And yet it couldn’t
have felt more comfortable.
It was always supposed to be the two of them, facing the world shoulder
to shoulder. Maybe destiny had gotten impatient with them and pushed
them together?
Knox pulled away and frowned. “Did you just call me ‘Knoxie’?”
Liv cocked his head, pulling one of Knox’s legs up, to hook it over his
hip as he pressed against him. Euphoria echoed through his bones. “You
called me Livvy first.”
“Did I?” Knox’s frown deepened, but he wrapped his other leg around
Liv without prompting. “Fuck, I think I did.” He hid his face with his hand
as if he were shy about it when they were literally naked.
A-fucking-dorable.
And so warm, strong, built for feats not everyone could accomplish.
He was so damn beautiful Liv couldn’t help himself and kissed his
breastbone, briefly listening to Knox’s heartbeat. While fast, it didn’t sound
erratic in a way that was uncomfortably familiar. He kissed the soap-
scented skin, then followed a wild trail up the slope of Knox’s throat,
exploring it with growing curiosity.
This would have never occurred if it hadn’t been for Vladdy’s premature
death, but while Knox had never been on his radar, not in this way, Liv
already felt at home in his arms.
“Why? Were you about to lash out at me and tell me not to call you cute
names, or something?”
“It’s… new. I’m more used to the pet names being ‘dick’ or ‘shithead’.
But I can live with Knoxie,” he said, stroking Liv’s hair with one hand as he
dove between their bodies with the other.
 Liv’s mind blurred with arousal when Knox’s fingers danced around his
cock tentatively. As if Liv wasn’t eager and willing to be here. With him.
He used to think… right, he just never thought about men this way. There
were plenty of women to go around, and since Liv had a bit of a weakness
for ladies of the more mature variety, many of his past conquests weren’t
skittish does. Surrounded by men who didn’t let their hard masks slip, he’d
never really been… invited close by any guy, so his sexual interests were
both satiated and never challenged. But if they had been?
Seeing Knox arch under him, features slack and glinting with stubble,
made Liv wonder if he’d have taken that step with any other man. But what
was the point of overthinking simple things when Knox was right here,
rubbing his cock, watching him as if Liv were made out of gold.
“Go on. I can be your new favorite toy,” Liv teased and pushed himself
farther on top, which brought his dick into Knox’s loose grip.
Ah, the skin on his hands was so rough.
Knox could be careless about wearing gloves at work, but Liv wasn’t
complaining when those fingers wrapped around Liv’s dick with more
confidence. He let out a happy groan and kissed the side of Liv’s head.
“Oh fuck… You have no idea what you’re doing to me. I always thought
you were hot, but getting to touch you? Shit… I don’t think there’s a
woman out there who wouldn’t want at least a night with you, but here you
are, between my legs.”
The shiver going down Liv’s back felt like the touch of Knox’s fingers, so
he thrust into the hand holding his dick, his gaze trained on Knox’s baby
blues, which clouded as warm thighs locked around Liv. “I am here.
Between your legs. Why would I want to be anywhere else when you’re
about to jerk me off?” Liv asked with a grin.
“Am I doing it the way you like it?” Knox asked, stroking Liv’s dick at
an even pace. He’d never been a pleaser, and Liv rather liked this change.
Finally. Something they didn’t have to fight over. “I love your tattoos,”
Knox whispered and kissed Liv’s inked neck.
Liv rolled his shoulders at the compliment, presenting the hot rods etched
on his chest, alongside a flurry of random, smaller images. “Spit on your
hand,” he instructed, and when Knox did just that before grabbing him
again, he let out a soft sigh. “That’s it.”
“I’m so horny for you,” Knox whispered, rocking his hips so that his
cockhead grazed Liv’s skin. “I love how hard it feels in my hand. You have
the best dick.”
Those fingers were magic, and as they kneaded and pulled, it felt as if
they were caressing Liv’s balls too, and stroking his back, and squeezing
his thighs at the same time. Liv lost himself in their touch, staring down at
the face of his best friend whose eyes now burned for him.
There had never been anything hotter.
“Oh, because you have touched so many,” he said with a little snort as the
pressure inside him grew, prompting him to jerk his hips in time with the
strokes.
Knox let out a chuckle that ended with a moan, and Liv already knew
he’d want to hear that sound again. “Shut up. I don’t need to. I know it’s the
best. Any other would be a downgrade,” he mumbled and glanced between
them, his breath gloriously shallow.
Tension burned Liv’s muscles as he focused on Knox’s flushed chest,
imagining it covered with his spunk, and he grunted in protest when the
warm hand let go of him. But before he could have begged for more, Knox
shifted above him and grabbed both their cocks with one hand, pressing
them close.
It was like chewing on quality marshmallows and now having them
topped off with chocolate sauce. His brain could barely cope with the rush
of excitement shooting through him at the sight of the two cockheads
pressed together, so he dropped to his elbows, hanging above Knox. Skilful
hands worked both their shafts ever faster, taking away whatever control
Liv had. Knox’s hips jerked up, fucking the rough hand and Liv’s own dick
as his intense gaze met Liv’s. A bit of dried blood was left under his nose,
and Liv was tempted to flick the new ring with his tongue. It excited him
that he’d been the one to put it in, but when Knox tightened his hand, the
urge to come became his priority.
“That’s it, rub them together,” Liv whispered, trembling as pleasure
coursed through his body like bolts of lightning. “I wanna come on you.”
Knox beat him to it, and his cum spurted between them in a sticky
explosion. Liv trembled with desire, drinking in the sight of both their
cocks and Knox’s gorgeous face contorting with pleasure as moans filled
the room.
“Fuck… so good,” Knox whimpered, pulling Liv closer. The absolute
bliss on his face pushed Liv over the edge.
 Invisible fireworks erupted everywhere, lighting up the space around
them and setting their skin on fire. Liv raised himself up to watch jets of his
cum splash Knox’s ripped stomach, his torso, and even his neck. The
moment it was over, the arms that had previously held him up weakened,
and he dropped on top of Knox, inhaling the rich essence of their pleasure.
Knox embraced him, inviting him into sleep with a tight hug.
Liv’s dick still pulsed in the same intense rhythm as his heart, and he
couldn’t have felt more comfortable, more at ease with someone. He had all
of Knox, and wouldn’t let go.
"You were right," Knox mumbled. "Fucking three times a day is
optimal."
Liv grabbed the first piece of fabric his hand found and brought it
between them to wipe off most of the cum before tossing it far away. His
head was light as a helium balloon, yet all he wanted was to drop it to the
pillow, exhausted after a long day of such rapid change.
So he smiled, pushed his face to Knox’s cheek and closed his eyes, letting
exhaustion lull him to sleep.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 20

Knox

KNOX’S HEAD ACHED, AND his mouth was dry as woodchips, but once
he realized he was in bed with Liv, naked, the hangover didn’t matter.
Somehow, he’d ended up as the big spoon in bed, so he kissed Liv’s
shoulder with his dry lips, enjoying the warmth of Liv’s buttocks against his
soft cock.
He lay like that for a while, nuzzling Liv’s back and smelling him, but in
the end, nature called, and he carefully pulled away to avoid waking Liv.
Hunger gnawed at his stomach once he was done in the shoddy restroom
at the back of the workshop, so he figured he might as well go see if he
could squeeze some food out of their hosts.
And since his T-shirt had ended up as their cum rag, he put on his new
jacket over bare skin. Unwilling to put on the light to look for underwear,
he wore a pair of sweatpants commando.
After leaving without a word last night, he didn’t want to stress Liv out
for no reason, so he ended up writing BRB on Liv’s hand with a Sharpie
from Frank’s desk.
His phone told him it was well past noon, so he didn’t worry about
waking up their hosts when he knocked on the door.
“It’s open!” Ezra called out.
 When Knox entered, he found him lounging in a chair with a book in one
hand and some kind of smoothie in the other. Dressed in a dark purple robe
that complimented his skin color, Ezra managed to look way less hungover
than Knox felt, but the telltale signs of the day after were there. Pallor, dark
color under the eyes and the little bag resting on Ezra’s forehead proved that
he didn’t come away from last night’s party unscathed.
“The coffee’s cold, but you can heat it in the microwave,” Ezra said and
rested the book in his lap, as if Knox’s presence was an excuse to abandon a
daily ritual.
“Oh, fuck yes. Coffee. Can I take some for Liv? He’s still sleeping.”
He headed straight for the bathroom though, because while he intended to
eat soon, his teeth were in a dire need of brushing.
“Sure, help yourself,” Ezra told him, but Knox already shut the door, and
since he was here anyway, he took the extra step of a quick shower before
emerging with renewed energy. His head still hurt, of course, but he wasn’t
crusty anymore.
So worth it though. Liv had seemed so strong and powerful as he loomed
above him last night, his brown eyes intense like two supernovas as Knox
worked their cocks until they erupted, covering their skin in fragrant cum.
Unaware of his thoughts, Ezra remained exactly where Knox had first
found him, though there was a bit less of the smoothie in his glass.
“Seems we all overdid it. Ros was sick as a dog this morning.”
Knox now wondered if he should have just borrowed Liv’s T-shirt. “Sorry
for last night. I’m not usually such a drama queen.”
“That’s good. I don’t need anyone to upstage me in my own home,” Ezra
said with a half-smile and stretched before resting both the book and the
glass on a side table. “Do you feel better now?”
Put at ease, Knox smiled back. “Y-yeah, I think I worked through some
shit. It’s just a bit new, you know. It’s only been me and Liv for a while. I
didn’t really know any other gay guys.” And even that was an exaggeration,
since he’d only realized he liked men yesterday.
“Better late than never,” Ezra said and got up, which caused his dressing
gown to open a bit at the chest, revealing smooth skin. “I know you’re not
really here by choice, but maybe this place will let you explore that.”
Knox took his eyes off Ezra when he got a glimpse of a nipple. He’d
ignored his attraction to men for so long that now he wasn’t even sure what
made him tick. Obviously, Liv was so hot he might as well be Molten Lava
Man, but other guys? Cyborg was handsome, if intimidating. Ezra? Had a
very pretty face minus the big scar, and a vibe much different from say,
Frank or Shane. But was Knox attracted to him?
“I’ve got a lot of gay manners to learn. Like, now I’m kinda unsure. Is it
okay that I’m here shirtless? When your boyfriend’s not around?” Knox
asked, glancing back to check if Frank wasn’t standing in the doorway with
an ax in hand.
Ezra grabbed the jug of coffee and poured it down the drain. On the
upside, he instantly filled it with water, to make a fresh batch. “My fiancé.
There’s no hard rules. Don’t walk around naked, but as long as you’re not
trying to actively seduce me, we’re good. You’re hardly the first naked torso
I’ve seen,” he said and started grinding coffee beans.
Knox snorted, put at ease. “Okay. No seducing. Just existing over here
with my man tits out. So if he’s the fiancé, are you the fiancée…?” He
could only hope that wasn’t offensive.
Ezra squinted as if he were certain he’d misheard something. Knox was
ready to pretend that nothing happened, but Ezra’s gaze sharpened, telling
him that would not fly.
“Nooo, please tell me you’re not one of those people,” he moaned and
spilled the ground coffee into the machine.
Knox scratched his head and opened the fridge to avoid confrontation.
“Sorry, forget it. Would it be possible to buy some food off you? We don’t
have a car. Nothing, like, too expensive,” he added looking at the sliced
ham in packaging that featured names he couldn’t pronounce.
Ezra made an annoyed, shushing sound and switched on the coffee
maker. “No, no, no, explain to me what you really wanted to ask.”
Fuck. This would be walking on eggshells, and Ezra was the owner of all
this food. Knox needed to make him happy. He closed the fridge when it
started beeping at him over being open too long.
“I just… Like… Can you tell if someone bottoms? Am I ‘the girl’ now? I
know I’m not, but, like… should I be? Are there things I’m obligated to do?
We’re the same, me and him. Just two guys, but now… not?”
Was he making any sense? He now had all these tender feelings for Liv.
Wanted to make him smile, bring him coffee, maybe a sandwich, but not in,
like, a girl way.
Despite the anxiety choking Knox, Ezra seemed satisfied with his answer
and leaned against the counter as he faced him. “No, you can’t tell if
someone bottoms. You might guess and be right eight times out of ten, but
it’s not foolproof, because the reason you can even guess is because people
present themselves in a way that draws in the right guy for them. But there
are no rules. I know a top who’s a very campy drag queen and some very
masc bottoms. If there are any rules at all to this, it’s don’t ask people who
the girl in the relationship is, because the whole point of being a gay man is
wanting to have sex and relationships with men, and many of them will
mind.
“And if you and Liv are just guys, as you put it, then that’s fine too. Lots
of people are into that kind of thing. The way you two do your relationship
is really only up to you, but I admit that in any kind of relationship, straight
or gay, people will fall into roles that fit them best, that’s just a fact of life. I
enjoy taking care of Frank, and dealing with most of the housework. He
enjoys feeling he can take care of me as a provider. I can move a sofa just
fine, but I will ask him to do it because I know it’ll make him feel like he is
being useful to me. It suits us, but that does not mean I’m a woman. It just
happens that I like stuff people associate with women.”
"Whoa. You're like… really smart about these things," Knox said, and he
didn't just mean it as flattery. He was soaking it all up like a sponge. "This
is actually very helpful.”
Ezra sighed. “And no, I won’t ‘sell you food’. That’s weird and goes
against my sense of hospitality. So tell me what you want to eat.”
Which was a huge relief, because Knox and Liv barely had a few bucks
between them. “Do you have pancakes? I was kinda thinking Liv would
enjoy that when he wakes up.” Knox smiled, leaning against the counter.
“We used to live together before getting together, and we’d share a lot of
stuff like food or household goods, but now I’ve got all these… feelings.
Like I wanna treat him, you know? Just because, not because the pizza was
two for one or something.”
A small smile crooked Ezra’s lips. “Wow. You’re cute as a puppy wanting
to bring its owner a saliva-stained ball. And that tells me you should do it.
Bring him the ball. I mean, the pancakes,” he added in response to Knox’s
frown.
Did Ezra just offend him? Puppies were cute, so maybe it wasn’t the
worst thing to be compared to.
Knox smiled and opened the fridge.
 Ezra spoke as the coffee machine made a long buzz. “The milk is on the
door, and the flour is in the bottom drawer to the left. Unless you need
gluten-free.”
Knox frowned, staring at the milk. “You mean, for the coffee…?” Why
would he need flour for coffee? Knox wouldn’t question it, since Ezra
seemed like a classy guy with refined taste, but he didn’t get it.
Ezra turned to him, cocking his head. “Knox. For the pancakes.”
Knox’s brows went up. “Oh. To, like, make them? But I don’t know how
much I’d need, and how long to fry them. If I end up feeding him raw
batter, because they’re not ready inside, won’t he… die? Or at least, get
really sick?”
Did Ezra just pale or was it a trick of the light? “Wait a minute, when you
asked if I ‘had’ pancakes, did you mean ready-to-eat ones?”
There was definitely judgment in that question.
“Mmm… maybe?” Knox bit his lip, feeling like a scolded dog.
Ezra shook his head. “No, no, no. You’re learning how to make pancakes
right now.”
“I am?” Knox asked, staring as Ezra grabbed the flour from the drawer.
“That would actually be kinda amazing. Liv won’t believe me when I tell
him I made them myself.”
“It’s really easy once you get the hang of it. And you don’t even have to
tell him you had help.” Ezra grinned at him. “I can tell you from experience
that a breakfast in bed can get you far in life.” He followed that with a
comment about Knox lacking a basic life skill, but when Knox told him
about his mom never being around much when he was growing up, Ezra’s
demeanor softened. But he still made Knox do most of the work “so that he
remembered”.
Much faster than Knox expected, they ended up with a whole stack of
fresh pancakes. In the meantime, Ezra had fried some bacon in a pan right
next to Knox’s, so everything was hot at the same time.
And while Knox couldn’t wait to wake up Liv to a feast, he and Ezra
shared one maple syrup-drizzled, bacon-topped pancake. The food was
heaven in Knox’s mouth, and he moaned so loudly Frank might get
suspicious if he heard it from somewhere outside.
“Oh, my God! I think these are the best pancakes I’ve ever had. And I
made them? Wow.”
 “You did. Bravo,” Ezra said with a fond smile and slow-clapped for
emphasis.
Knox wasn’t sure whether he was being mocked or not but decided to not
hold a grudge and took both coffee and the food on a tray, heading out to
surprise his man.
Was that a weird way to think about Liv?
Liv. Liver Polk. The asshole who always took the last slice of pizza. The
guy who stood up for him at school and got beat up for it. His best friend.
They were more than that now, even though he didn’t know how to call
their new relationship. But they fucked and had hidden a body together, so
that had to count for something, right?
It was just hard to shed the idea that he should be competing with a guy
instead of pining for him. They’d work it out though, just like they did
between the sheets.
Knox slipped into their temporary bedroom with a tray he could be proud
of, glad to already hear Liv’s voice, but when Liv didn’t respond to his
greeting, a cold sensation settled in his gut.
Still curled up under the blanket, Liver was shaking, his legs contracting
as if he were trying to run or free himself. One of his hands was stretched
away from his body though and clawed at air as he moaned a faint, “No. No
no no...”
Knox put the tray on the desk so fast he spilled some coffee and dropped
to his knees on the bedding. “Liv? Liv? Livvy?”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 21

Liv

THE FOUNDATION DITCH WAS a black abyss sucking in all the light, but
Knox’s form was showcased like a circus act, with the blood pouring from
the four wounds in his chest shimmering like glitter. The rods that impaled
him twisted all the way to the sky as he took his last breath, reaching for Liv
without a word.
Desperation pulled Liv closer, but just as he was about to step into the
air, to sink into the void or touch him for the last time, something collided
with the side of his head and knocked him into the dirt.
“No!” he cried as Knox disappeared from sight. But when he tried to get
up, his limbs refused to move, as if he’d been paralyzed. Increasingly
frantic, he trembled, attempting to move without success. The world spun
when Vlad pulled on the front of Liv’s top. The ugly bastard looked just like
he had on his last day, so maybe it was his ghost haunting Liv and sinking
his knee to his chest to keep Liv from breathing?
Powerless to save himself or comfort Knox, he watched as Vlad’s massive
fist flew into the air. It descended onto him, over and over. Each blow had
Liv’s vision blurring, his ears echoing with the distant sound of Knox’s
cries, until his skull cracked and—
The amount of air flowing into his lungs as his eyes opened choked him,
but when he tried to rise, ready to fight, warm arms closed around his chest
and held him down.
“Hey. Liv. It’s me. Are you okay?” Knox asked, his blue eyes alert and
spearing right through Liv. It was so good to see them again, no longer
drifting away from life but focused, and so alive that he clutched at Knox
and buried his face in his chest. Reality set in, leaving him scowling with
embarrassment.
It was just a dream.
Fuck.
How the fuck could it have felt so real?
“Yes. Yes, I’m fine.”
Knox hugged him. “Zombies again?” He laughed, but stroked Liv as if he
were a baby in need of comfort.
The sunshine hitting Liv through the small window pulled him farther
into a reality that smelled of coffee, bacon, and something sweet, but the
sinking feeling in his stomach was still there. Vlad coming for him from the
underworld. Knox dead.
Knox could have died that day. Liv was sure of it, and yet… what if he’d
acted too hastily? What if Vlad could have been appeased?
“Yeah, yeah, zombies. Too many horror movies, right?” Liv lied just like
he had back on the train, when Knox had woken him up from a similar
nightmare. He didn’t want to be a wuss about something that could no
longer be changed. The only way was forward, and yet, doubts and guilt
were still very much alive at the back of his head and crawled out when his
guard went down.
He was a murderer.
Was it fucked up that he didn’t want to confess to what had happened and
take responsibility? Did that make him a coward? Knox had said he
wouldn’t let him take the blame, so confessing might have meant Knox
ending up in trouble too, but what if that was just a weak-ass excuse for
being afraid of prison?
“I’ve got just the thing to help with that.” Knox beamed at him, then
reached for a tray. He put it between them on the bed, presenting a breakfast
Liv hadn’t even dreamed of.
Two plates stacked with pancakes, topped with bacon, drizzled with
maple syrup, and a cup of coffee each to go with it. The food was so hot
steam was still rising off it, and Knox looked so proud of himself, Liv could
eat him instead.
 “What is this? Where did you—?”
“I made them. And not from mix. It’s all from flour, milk, and stuff,”
Knox informed him breathlessly as his arm snuck its way behind Liv’s
back.
Liv’s stomach gave a loud grumble that made them both laugh. Having
such a good appetite after the kind of dream Liv just had felt almost
obscene. A part of him worried it meant he wasn’t a good person.
“I had no idea you knew how to do that.”
Knox grinned, grabbing his plate. “Ezra taught me. But I did all the
cooking myself. I mean, he fried the bacon, but that’s easy. I just… we’ve
had a rough time. I wanted to treat you.” He glanced at Liv as if he were
unsure of something, and now that Liv saw him in this new light of
fuckable, he couldn’t help but think Knox was as sweet as that maple syrup.
So maybe it was a good thing he’d stepped in and saved him, no matter
the cost?
“Wow, that’s… unexpected. But nice,” he added right away as his chest
bloomed with warmth.
Knox filled his mouth like a hamster but managed to somehow still
appear thoughtful. “Do you think it’s weird? That I wanted to cook for you?
I just feel you… deserve the best shit.”
Liv swallowed a fluffy morsel with salty bacon and syrup. It was absolute
heaven, and not something he’d ever expected from Knox who’d so far only
proven himself to be the King of Barbeque. He wasn’t sure what to answer
without accidentally insulting him.
“It’s just… not something you ever did for me. No one has, really. Just
my mom, when she’s around, or girlfriends,” he muttered, stroking Knox’s
back when a flash of discomfort passed over his face.
Knox swallowed another portion of food, but didn’t shy away from
looking right into Liv’s eyes. “Yeah, but you said it yourself, it’s just us
now. I want you to get what you need. I want… to take care of you.
Whether it’s breakfast, or fighting the zombies in your nightmares.” He
smiled and leaned in for a quick, maple syrup-sticky kiss.
Liv gradually relaxed into his embrace, and his heart calmed down too,
but even the sweetness of syrup couldn’t chase away the ghost of Vlad. He
might just haunt Liv forever, beating him to death as Knox watches,
bleeding out.
 But faced with Knox’s care, it was easier to ignore the shadows, no
matter how baffling this new tenderness was. Throughout Liv’s life, he’d
been the one to take care of people. Bringing Dad cigarettes and booze
when he didn’t feel like getting up after a bender. Sending Mom cash and
letting her stay on the couch when she appeared at the door out of nowhere,
after months of silence. Making sure Knox was fed and took his meds.
Taking care of all his many girlfriends and their problems.
He’d been cooked for sometimes, yes, but usually it felt like the thing to
do, or an excuse to keep him for longer. This? Knox’s uncertain smiles and
curious glances told him that he really did want to make sure Liv was okay
and make him feel good first thing in the morning. Used to constant rivalry
between men, Liv did not expect this kind of care from another dude, and it
confused him as much as it pleased him.
After all, Knox was right—they were in this together, and it wasn’t like
Liv could get drunk, eat some pussy at one of the neighboring trailers and
then pour out his soul to a woman who wouldn’t remember any of it the
next day anyway.
And Knox was not his opponent. The two of them were on the same
team, so maybe if they’d changed their relationship, other rules were not
immovable either?
Lost in thought, Liv ate the pancakes as words spun in his head.
“Maybe we could…” Knox started between one bite and another. “Think
about dividing who likes to do what, or something. I dunno.”
Dividing what?
Liv’s thoughts were too much of a mess to follow that abstract train of
thought as Vlad grew in his head, this time breaking it from the inside.
“I was actually dreaming about that night when I—” He stalled, seeking
Knox’s gaze as dread settled in again, convincing him he’d never again be
free of what had happened.
Knox’s attention was on him in an instant, and he scooted closer. “Oh.
Okay…” He put his hand on Liv’s knee in silent support.
Liv sighed, regretting that he hadn’t just let it go. “Look, I don’t want you
to be my agony aunt. It’s fine.”
Knox squeezed his knee. “No. Tell me. That night was… It was a fucking
shitshow. I still think about it too. What was the dream?”
Liv watched him, increasingly tense, but when Knox didn’t falter, he
exhaled and took a large gulp of coffee. “I killed you instead of Vlad, and I
wanted to go to you, but then he appears and beats me to death. The end,”
he said and raised the cup, as if he were toasting. “Kinda fucked up.”
But Knox put away his plate and pushed closer to hug him, wrapping his
arms under Liv’s. It was as if the sex had opened a door to a kind of
intimacy they’d never shared before, and it was both unnerving and
soothing.
“Liv… I’m so sorry. If I had a dream about you dying I’d probably, like,
throw up.” He laughed to lighten the mood, but never let go of Liv. His
arms were warm and somehow both firm and soft, inviting him to relax as
the scent of the breakfast reminded Liv that reality, at least in this moment,
was quite sweet.
“Yeah, but you’re alive, and Vlad really is dead, and whenever I have this
dream, I wake up wondering if I could have done something differently, you
know? Just knocked him out instead of... what I did.”
Knox sighed and kissed his ear, sending a shiver all the way to Liv’s
heart. “He was waving that machete around. He’d already cut me by then.
The next slash could have been worse. And still, you didn’t stab him, you
pushed him. That could have ended in many different ways. But it is what it
is. He was a piece of shit and he doesn’t deserve the space in your mind.”
“He also had a family, and they lost him. Can they make it without him?”
Liv mumbled, melting into Knox’s arms. He didn’t like sharing his worries
or negative feelings with Knox, who had a heart issue and too many things
on his plate to bother with Liv’s petty bullshit. But for once he decided to
let go, because the burden in his heart didn’t feel any lighter than it had
been as they sunk the body in the reservoir.
Knox pulled back enough to meet his eyes. Was this really something Liv
could have on top of getting to fuck the prettiest guy he knew? All this care
and comfort?
“Liv. Didn’t his wife leave his ass because he beat her? He’d harassed
several people, and was a loan shark. I’m sure a lot of people are glad he’s
gone.”
Behind the door to the office, someone moved in the workshop, so Liv
exhaled and dug into the food to stuff his face.
“You’re right, that happened.”
“He was a shitstain and you know it! Why would you be sorry for him?”
“I’m not sorry for him, but now I’m a murderer, and that’s that.”
 Knox shook his head. “It was an accident. Maybe he shouldn’t have been
waving that machete around.” He put his hands on Liv’s cheeks. “You’re a
good person, okay?”
The insistence in his voice trickled all the way to Liv’s chest, soothing the
ache that had been throbbing inside it since the night they needed to leave
their home behind. Liv wasn’t so sure. He'd broken a lot of hearts, he
occasionally sold drugs to people who should not buy them anymore, and
had stolen a thing or two, but there was a hard line between all that and
taking another person’s life, even someone as violent and evil as Vlad.
“How do you know?” he whispered, ignoring the shuffling in the
workshop.
Knox kissed him, and there was an intensity in his blue eyes as he
whispered, “I’ve had you inside me. I know you. I know your heart.”
Are you getting soft on me, Knoxie? Pushed at Liv’s throat, but he
couldn’t say it. He couldn’t take Knox’s kindness and throw it in his face
just because he didn’t know how to handle it coming from another guy.
Instead, he kissed the little finger resting next to his lips and leaned close,
pressing his forehead against Knox’s. His heart chimed with a strange
sensation that felt somehow both painful and pleasant.
Knox believed in him.
“Thanks.”
They both flinched at the roar of fury from the workshop.
“The fuck was going on here?” Frank yelled. “How dare you touch my
shit!”
Liv instantly knew what this was about, and he darted for his pants, but
the door was flung open, leaving him to face their host naked.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 22

Knox

KNOX’S REACTION WAS PRIMAL. All he knew was that he had to

stand between Frank and Liv. Both for the sake of hiding Liv’s ass, and
shielding him from Frank’s wrath.
But Frank’s face was a mask of fury, his shoulders set, and as soon as
Knox was within range of his oversized arms, Frank smacked the side of his
head so hard, Knox landed on the desk with stars swirling in his skull.
“Just because we had a few drinks last night doesn’t mean you can roam
around my workshop like two horny buffaloes!” Frank roared.
The world spun as Knox rested his hand on the desktop, shocked by the
ferocity of their host’s actions, but Liv already stepped between them like a
wall of fury.
“What the fuck was that for? Don’t you fucking dare lay a finger on him
again!”
Frank’s severe features tensed, and he slapped him too. “There. Is this
better?”
Knox couldn’t think. The sound of Frank’s palm hitting Liv’s cheek was
still resonating in his mind when he turned, fists up, and threw himself at
Frank. He could almost taste the blood on his tongue. He craved the
violence. But Frank took a step back just as Liv yanked on Knox’s jacket.
 “We did nothing wrong! It was just there!” Knox yelled, twisting out of
the jacket, and ready to take on a man twice his size. But just as he
managed to free himself, Liv’s warm, insistent arms wrapped around his
waist and kept him from charging forward.
“It’s fine. Calm down,” Liv said, pulling Knox back to his chest. When he
spoke next, there was an edge of anger to his voice. “But he’s right. You
were the one who left it out there and made us wonder who’s gonna use it.
Ezra or you?”
Frank’s dark glare promised nothing good, and Knox stilled in Liv’s
embrace. At least he was now between Frank and Liv.
“You two little shits… Mosquitoes have more self-preservation instinct
than you.” Frank took a deep breath. “The machine was covered and none
of your business. You won’t be mentioning its existence to Ezra unless you
want a cement grave. Understood?”
“Yeah,” Knox mumbled, because Liv’s hot presence against his back did
calm him down a little.
Liv hummed. “Ezra wouldn’t be very happy if you defended his honor by
killing two nice boys who attended a party at his last night. Why don’t you
chill out? We were drunk last night, but no one’s gonna go and tell on you.”
Between his tattoos and serious expression, Frank didn’t look like the
kind of man who chilled out easily, but in the end he huffed and stepped out
of the little room to go cover his sex toy with the sheet.
“Grab your shit and come with me,” Frank said sternly, but at least his
fists weren’t flying at them.
Knox glanced at Liv, putting on his jacket. “He’s not gonna, like… get rid
of us, right?” he whispered, a bit lightheaded.
Liv’s brows gathered, but he was smiling when he stepped close to cup
Knox’s face. “Nah. He’s a big softie who wants to seem scary. You know,
like Sanah’s Pitbull.”
Remembering how eagerly the big, mean-looking dog always whined in
happiness when petted on the belly brought a smile to Knox’s lips.
“Maybe.”
Liv winked at him and walked off to pack the few items he owned. Knox
did the same, popping one of his pills with a gulp of coffee while he was at
it. He couldn’t help but follow the trail of hair on Liv’s stomach with his
gaze when Liv dressed. His attraction to Liv was so new, and yet something
he recognized as if it had always been there, an itch under Knox’s skin. One
he couldn’t imagine scratching until yesterday.
Now he’d scratch it all the time even if it were to make him bleed and
cover him in scabs.
“I don’t have all day!” Frank yelled from outside.
Knox still leaned in to steal a kiss from Liv’s lips, exhilarated that he
could.
He then threw his backpack over his shoulder and walked out. Sparks
danced up his spine when Liv’s fingers trailed down his forearm. They
twirled over his palm, but just as Knox opened his hand to hold them, Liv’s
hand was gone, and he overtook him on the way outside.
“First to join Frank gets his dick sucked,” Liv shouted, dashing off at an
advantage.
Sneaky bastard.
“What?” Knox yelled with his mind blank, but he broke into a run
without thinking.
Frank was too close though and Liv had too much of a head start with this
stupid challenge. He was at Frank’s side first, and even patted Frank’s arm
as if he were a goalpost.
Knox joined them half a second later with his mind lost in thoughts of
Liv’s dick. He’d never been this obsessed with sex, but with Liv it was as if
someone flipped a switch inside him. A wink from Liv was enough to make
his heart do backflips.
“Come on,” Frank said, frowning at Liv’s hand, but already leading the
way. “You can’t stay here, as this night has proved.”
That brought Knox’s thoughts right back to reality. “Are you… kicking
us out?”
Frank shook his head and approached his truck, opening the truck bed on
his way to the cab. “Get in. You need someplace to stay where you won’t be
bothering me each morning and evening.”
Liv rolled onto the back of the vehicle without a moment’s hesitation, and
then sat with his legs spread wide, staring at Knox as if he were undressing
him already. “Sounds good to me.”
Despite the chill in the air, heat climbed up Knox’s neck, because this
was happening. He’d be sucking Liv’s dick again, and Liv made sure he
understood it.
“Thanks, Frank, it means—”
 He didn’t get to finish, because Frank slammed the door and started the
truck.
Liv called him with a gesture and winked. “Come on, give me a hug.”
It had felt so natural to cuddle naked at night, yet now Knox felt like he
was getting stage fright. Liv was just this hot. Almost intimidating in his
confidence.
But like the sheep he was, Knox crawled to him on all fours to avoid
falling over when the truck drove over the endless bumps in the uneven
road. They were leaving Frank’s home behind for an unknown place, and a
future that was as unsteady as the gravel.
Knox swallowed when he slid close to Liv, but the way his best friend’s
thick arm rested over his shoulders eased the tension inside, and he allowed
himself to lean against him. It was a sunny morning, and bits of scrap metal
shone at them, reflecting the light as if they were ice covering the artificial
mounds.
It was hard to comprehend that they were so far from California, and that
they’d most likely never go back. All his life Knox had dreamed about
leaving, but it had seemed pointless to make plans when his money never
stretched beyond immediate needs.
Would this junkyard be a new home for them, or a step on their journey?
All Knox knew was that either would be fine with him as long as Liv was at
his side. Because while the circumstances of their journey had been less
than ideal, that had always been the plan. The two of them. Together.
He just never truly believed that dream could become reality.
Liv snorted. “Did you do this?” He showed the back of his hand with
BRB scribbled on it with a sharpie.
Knox shrugged with a smile. “Yeah, when I went to get food. Didn’t want
you to flip your shit again and go looking for me.”
Liv blinked, staring at him for a moment that felt so tense Knox had to
swallow. But then the roguish features relaxed into a smile. “Thanks. I
absolutely would have flipped my shit,” Liv said before muttering an ouch
when the truck’s wheel dropped into a pothole. Without any cushioning,
their butts felt every bump.
Knox smirked, cuddling closer. “Maybe you should get it tattooed, so
you’re not confused and know I’ll always come back.”
Liv hummed, rubbing his lips and nose over the top of Knox’s head. The
gentleness of the caress made Knox curl his toes as warmth spread all over,
making him melt.
“I’m stuck with you for good?”
Knox nodded, biting his lip as he glanced between Liv’s legs. Was this
really his life now? Would he be sucking dick every day?
He didn’t get much time to ponder that, because the truck stopped near
the tall fence surrounding the junkyard.
“We’re here,” Frank announced, leaving the cab.
With the magic of the moment gone, Liv patted Knox’s thigh and rolled
right off the truck bed. And fuck, now that Knox had felt his weight on top,
his back and shoulders seemed even wider and more impressive.
“What are we looking at?”
“I hauled this here first thing in the morning. It needs work, but you can
have it for now,” Frank answered.
With the sky so gray, the cold wind, and the piles of tires behind it, the
dilapidated trailer should have seemed like a bleak future, but all Knox
could see was a place for him and Liv. Somewhere of permanence. A roof
over their heads that they didn’t have to pay for.
Elongated, in a dirt-white color, and with one window broken, it sure
needed work, but it was bigger than the dwelling they had shared in
California.
Frank led the way, approaching the old school trailer. “I’ll get you a
generator for electricity, and we’ll help you connect it to the water supply,
so you can stop using my shower.”
“Yes!” Liv slapped the side of the trailer as if it were a juicy buttock, and
offered them a wide grin that showed off the cute gap between his upper
teeth. “Nice and remote. What’s not to love?”
But Knox hadn’t been born yesterday. “What’s the catch?”
“I’m not giving it away for free,” Frank said, folding his arms and
standing next to Liv, as if he wanted to show who was the biggest, meanest
alpha in the junkyard. “You two will need to pull your weight. And not just
during the day.”
Liv dropped the smile. “Like… you want us to kill people?”
The words chilled Knox all the way to his bones and he kicked an old can
to the side of the road. “I can kick someone’s ass, but this—”
Frank stopped him with a low growl. “What I’m saying is that you need
to do what needs to be done. I placed the trailer here,” he pointed to a gate
in the fence down the road. “So that you can be an extra set of eyes for me.
This is a very large area, and I could use the help. Killing isn’t in the job
description, but every now and then, a friend of ours might need help with
disposing of a body, and they come here. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s
gotta do it. If it helps you sleep at night, no one who gets dealt with here is
an innocent. We try not to get involved either.”
Knox swallowed, glancing over Frank’s shoulder, to the trailer that
promised safety. “Is that what we stumbled into two nights ago?”
Liv frowned and stuffed his hands in his pockets as he thought through
Frank’s offer. “I guess… if they’re already dead, they won’t care what
happens to their bodies. I can do that,” he said and shook Frank’s hand.
Frank gave Knox an expectant glance. “Yes, fallout from two gangs
sorting out their shit. The kind of money they leave with us keeps the place
afloat. But if you want a piece of that pie, you need to be all-in. Sometimes
shit gets dangerous, and I need to know I can count on everyone who lives
here. Most of the time, I’ll need you to fix cars, sort through junk, or
operate the machinery, just everyday stuff.”
Knox pulled his hand out of his pocket to shake Frank’s hand too,
because what options did they have? Only time would tell whether they
were getting the opportunity of a lifetime or sealing their fate.
“I’m a hard worker, I’ll pitch in however you need.”
“It’ll be just like before. Our own trailer, Knoxie,” Liv said and
approached one of the corners of their new home to playfully hug it.
Frank sighed. “I’ll give you the day off. This place is… a work in
progress.”
Which meant it was a shithole, but at least it would be their own shithole.
Knox smiled at Liv, happy to see him this excited. Especially after how
today had started for him. “Not to be greedy, but you wouldn’t have some
old piece of junk car, would you? We’ll pay you back once…” once you pay
us? God. They really were fucking broke.
Frank shook his head, looking at them with more pity than Knox would
have liked. “Yeah, you’ll need to get to work somehow, but I’ll deduct it
from your pay, and you’ll need to fix a few things in it yourself.”
Knox’s smile widened and he once more shook Frank’s hand. Because
Frank mentioning pay meant they wouldn’t have to go begging Ezra for
food. “Thanks, Frank. We will work so hard to repay you.”
Frank’s lips twitched, but he didn’t smile. He lingered for a few more
seconds, as if unsure how to respond to Knox’s gratitude after slapping him
earlier. “Get that trailer working, will you? There’s a hose attached to a pipe
by the fence, and I left you some cleaning supplies inside.”
“Knox, there’s a portable stove in here,” Liv shouted, already halfway
inside the trailer.
Knox gave Frank an unsure glance and pointed to the trailer. “Can I…?”
Frank nodded. “Knock yourself out. I’ll talk to Shane about the car for
you. When you’re ready later, just follow this road to my house.”
Frank raised his hand for a goodbye and was off to his truck. Still
overwhelmed, Knox rushed in behind Liv, taking in the mess inside. Dust
covered most surfaces and some trash littered the floor, but while the place
needed a serious cleanup, it seemed to be in a decent enough condition
overall.
“Does the stove work?”
Liv scowled. “Maybe when we get the generator. We’ll remind Frank
about it once we christen this place.” he said, eyeing two buckets full of
cleaning supplies.
At the far end of the trailer, an open door revealed a bedroom where a
mattress almost glowed with its whiteness. A large box next to the cleaning
supplies offered a fresh set of bedding.
Knox smiled, pushing back his hair, overwhelmed by this strange mix of
kindness and new responsibilities. The place came with strings, but they
wouldn’t have been better off homeless and unemployed with police on
their trail.
“Do you think… Are we kinda in a gang now?” Knox asked now that
Frank had gone. They’d done some shady stuff, but never to the extent of
involving barrels of acid.
Liv smirked and leaned against the counter. “Maybe. Does that make me
hotter?”
Knox’s mouth went dry when he zeroed in on Liv. So this was happening.
Were they… flirting? He wasn’t sure how this was supposed to work.
“Kinda.” Not that Liv needed a boost to his hotness. From the roses inked
on his neck, to the intense look in his eyes, Liv screamed temptation.
And Knox wasn’t sure what to do about it, but Liv had no doubts or
qualms, so he grabbed Knox’s belt and pulled him close. So. Very. Close.
The sweetness of pancakes was still on Liv’s breath as he kissed Knox’s
shoulder with a soft grunt. “So you like a bad boy?”
 The trailer seemed to shrink around them, barely leaving enough room
for air. “Looks like I do,” Knox said, sliding his hands all the way up to
Liv’s pecs. Yeah, he was most definitely attracted to the edge of danger in
Liv’s scent. To his firm hands, hard fists, and the confidence he oozed from
every pore.
“Once we get that car working, I’m gonna take you out. How about that?”
Liv asked as his warm palm trailed up Knox’s neck. The way it had
squeezed Knox just yesterday had changed the wiring in his brain forever.
He felt a bit weird about holding Liv’s pecs too long though, so he ended
up wrapping his arms around Liv’s waist. It felt so good. So natural.
“Like on a date? You know you don’t have to?” Because what would that
even mean? And would they split the bill, or would Liv pay because he
topped? Did it work like that in the gay world? Ezra could probably fill in
those gaps for Knox.
Liv’s mouth brushed his forehead in a moment so sublime yet strange
Knox forgot his own name. It almost felt… unhealthy to like it this much.
What if he got dependent on Liv’s attention and praise? Would he still be
able to stand on his own as a man? He’d never cared this much about any
woman he’d been with.
Unaware of his worries, Liv hummed in agreement. “Do you want that?”
Did he want Liv to be his boyfriend? One glance into Liv’s dark eyes told
him that yes, yes he did. “So what? We live together first then date? Making
me feel cheap here.” He smirked and gave Liv a kiss.
The soft lips crooked into a smile against his as hands cupped Knox’s ass.
“You only put out yesterday. Wouldn’t call that being easy or cheap.”
Knox shivered at the firm touch, still a bit tender inside after yesterday’s
fuck. The memory of being under Liv, that thick dick pushing into him, was
like lightning made of arousal. “It’s so weird that… that we never before
noticed that we could be attractive to each other,” he said, unsure if he was
stating it or forming a question.
But Liv understood him. He always did.
“Haha, yeah. Which makes me feel real stupid and blind, because I’m
really liking this development,” he said, kneading Knox’s ass with a self-
satisfied smile.
Knox trailed his fingers up and down Liv’s spine, exploring every ridge
of muscle. Liv was so strong, so firm. Knox pushed that bit closer to sense
Liv’s dick against his thigh. “It just feels so… easy with you. Like it’s just
us, and we can do whatever. Just don’t buy me flowers.”
Liv grinned and gently pushed Knox’s shoulders down. “No flowers.
Noted. How about six-packs of beer then?”
Fuck, how did his presence seem so… commanding all of a sudden? As if
he held Knox in his grip and couldn’t be denied. Usually, Knox would have
fought back, maybe playfully slapped him, but now? Was he supposed to
pretend he didn’t want to be on his knees when he really, really did?
Especially since he had lost that race, as rigged as it had been.
He let Liv guide him down and didn’t even wait to open Liv’s belt. “Beer
is good,” he said, barely able to think about anything other than Liv’s cock
about to rub his tonsils.
He could already smell arousal trapped under denim, and he pressed his
entire face to the open zipper, just breathing in the musky scent while Liv
petted him as if he were an affectionate cat, not a man about to give another
guy a blowjob.
“I’m sure that right now you want to swallow something else.”
Knox put his hands on Liv’s hips and looked up. As he locked his gaze
with Liv’s, he rolled out the red carpet of his tongue, uncaring how obscene
it was. He wanted Liv’s dick too much to give a fuck.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 23

Liv

TWO WEEKS HAD PASSED, and while Frank worked them like two
donkeys, they didn’t need to kill anyone or deal with dead bodies, so that
counted as a win in Liv’s book. Knox’s newfound talent for dicksucking
sweetened the deal, and while the nights were getting colder, a portable
radiator and Knox’s body helped with the chill.
They cleaned up their new trailer to a decent level, and now even had a
shower to themselves. Old and with the kind of pressure that gave them
hardly anything then randomly spat out bouts of water as if their shower sex
offended the piping, but it was better than nothing.
Liv had also noticed that since Knox started getting a good hard fuck
every other day, he’d mellowed out and wasn’t as snappy. Liv would go as
far as calling him sweet, but not to his face, since he didn’t want a slap. He
would have fucked Knox’s tight little hole every day if he wasn’t such a
gentleman. He didn’t want Knox to get hurt after all.
But that hadn’t stopped him from discovering his favorite position.
He did love them all, but there was something real special about folding
Knox in two and driving into him while the handsome face below bloomed
with emotion, betraying Knox’s every thought.
Liv loved a responsive lover, and Knox was a true gem in that
department, as if Liv’s cock were the key to the real, unguarded him.
 It was only natural that Liv found himself wanting to see more of it
outside the bedroom too, so he declared their first payday date night. Knox
had been a bit sheepish about it, whining about money, but cash was for
living, not putting it in a sock.
They’ve been to the supermarket with Ezra last week, but other than that,
this was their first trip out into town, and Liv was set on making the best of
it. Their photographs hadn’t been published in the media beyond California,
so he was reasonably sure that as long as they didn’t bump into the police,
nobody would recognize them.
When they parked in front of the small cinema, he reached for Knox, as
he often did. Just because. He liked touching him, and took any opportunity
he got for that, so it was a sobering reality for Knox to frown at him and
move out of reach.
“We’re in public,” Knox said in a lowered voice.
It was reasonable to keep the PDA to a minimum, but the twisted
expression on Knox’s face, and the way he withdrew still felt cold.
Liv exhaled, reaching for his wallet. “I suppose we don’t want to draw
too much attention, all things considered.”
“I don’t want people staring.”
Knox stood by him once they entered the cinema, but he crossed his arms
on his chest as if to make sure Liv understood how off-limits he was. Which
wasn’t a good start to a date.
So maybe they were in a shitty little cinema where carpets had lost their
color and there was only one screen, but Liv would make Knox’s first gay
date memorable if it killed him. It was also their first real date. He was
pretty sure Knox took it seriously too, because he refused to wear the
oversized piece of shit jacket with a hole on the elbow, despite the cold, was
instead wearing a black hoodie. A hoodie that fit his trim body well, and
had most likely been chosen for its style not warmth. He wanted to look
good. For Liv.
It was damn flattering.
“People always stare at you,” Liv said and placed his hand on Knox’s
shoulder, because he sure as hell was not going on a date that didn’t include
any physical contact. “That’s what happens when you’re hot.”
“You’d know.” Knox smirked, handsome as fuck. He’d shaved clean
today, which made him look a bit younger, and he wore his hair in a
ponytail, but a few strands still hung at the front of his face.
 Liv could eat him alive. Just push him against the nearest wall and ravish
his neck, covering it with love bites.
But it would be a no from Knox, so he restrained his impulses and stood
in the short line to the ticket booth. “Never took you for a flatterer.”
Knox bit his lip, and when his blue eyes locked with Liv’s, sparks seemed
to appear in the air. “I guess I kept my thoughts to myself when you already
had a million girls to bloat your ego.”
Liv shrugged, keeping his voice low. “Are you claiming girls showered
me with compliments on a daily basis? The biggest compliment I could get
was her wanting to fuck me again.”
Knox smiled and leaned in to whisper into Liv’s ear. “I bet lots of them
told you how nice your dick is.”
Liv rolled his eyes. “Most of them just like what it does. Which is not
really a problem. I don’t need to be pretty to have a good time.”
Knox cocked his head with raised eyebrows. “You’re not pretty. You’re
handsome. And hot.”
Liv stalled, eyes locked on Knox’s as the faded carpet seemed to suck in
his feet, keeping him in place. It was best not to care, but Liv did, and while
he rarely found himself out of things to say, his head was empty and all he
wanted was for Knox to tell him what exactly he liked about him.
“You. Are you waiting in line or not?” the teenage cashier asked, chewing
gum loudly enough for Liv to hear it through the archaic sound system
attached to the front of the ticket booth.
“Yes. Yeah, I am,” Liv said, marching up to her. “I’ll have two tickets.”
Knox was right behind him. “And popcorn.”
“That’s inside.” She rolled her eyes as she printed the tickets for the only
movie available today. An anniversary showing of the 1979 Alien. It wasn’t
Liv’s first choice, but this afternoon was the only time they had off this
week, so beggars couldn’t be choosers.
“Thanks. Very helpful,” Liv said, took their tickets and reached for
Knox’s hand, to lead him toward the little snack bar, but his fingers found
only air as Knox pulled away again, shooting daggers out of his pretty blue
eyes.
“Come on, Liv,” he whispered. “I’m not a girl, remember?”
It was such a strange situation. Yeah, maybe Liv was just used to always
being able to touch his partner, drink from the same milkshake and all that
jazz, but he wasn’t in any way confused. He wanted to hold Knox’s hand
because he did, not because he’d forgotten who he was with. It shouldn’t be
such a minefield to want to hold your date’s hand.
“Didn’t say you were.”
Knox looked away, pretending to be very interested in the snack
selection. “Two men can’t just…”
‘Can’t’ was Liv’s trigger word. Whenever he was told he couldn’t do
something, he only wanted to do it more, so he was getting lowkey pissed
off.
“No, they obviously can. You just don’t want to. Did you want that
popcorn?” he asked, unwilling to let the topic spin out of control before
they reached the screening room.
Knox groaned. “No. Looks stale anyway.”
Liv would have paid the five bucks just to find out what was going on in
Knox’s head now. At home, he would have been able to fuck it out of him,
but now, he was stuck.
Liv stuffed his hands into his pockets. “Okay, then I suppose we can take
a seat now? Or do you want to go home? You don’t seem very happy to be
here.”
Knox pushed a strand of hair out of his face as his chest filled with air.
“No. Sorry, man. I just… It all makes me tense. I’m sorry I’m spoiling
things.” He pulled on Liv’s arm, dragging him along the corridor as if they
were two bros out to enjoy an old movie.
Which would have been fine last month, but now, Liv knew what it was
like to be inside Knox, kiss him, and smell his sweaty skin. They were not
just bros.
Okay, technically they were friends with benefits, but that did change
things for him. He wasn’t the kind of person who could switch off affection
at the snap of fingers, and this outing was challenging him already.
“Nothing’s gonna happen. People don’t know us here. There’s just a
couple of people in this cinema anyway,” he mumbled as they entered the
screening room and saw a total of five people sprinkled around the theater.
They’d been living in a gay bubble at the junkyard, so maybe Liv was a
bit quick in thinking Knox was over the whole sexuality thing.
The lights were already dimmed, and Knox looked around as they
climbed the stairs to their seats at the back. Ones Liv had chosen so that he
could touch Knox.
 Knox shouldn’t be ashamed of being gay, but worrying that he was
ashamed of Liv was even worse.
But as they passed the few taken seats, Knox’s hand tentatively slid into
his. The strong fingers of a man who’d packed so many punches trembled
against his as if they were to break from being held. Tenderness set in Liv’s
heart.
He’d be Knox’s rock in this and give him time.
After all, Knox was already rebelling against everything he’d been
taught, and it would have been unreasonable to expect him to change after
two weeks of good dicking.
Liv needed to be patient and not take every rejection to heart.
He pulled Knox’s hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles as they stood
right below the projector, hidden by its blinding glow.
Knox’s shy smile warmed Liv’s heart.
“Mrs. Petrosyan would have lost her mind if she saw us like this,” Knox
said with a wink and sat down.
Liv rolled his eyes and dropped into the old school seat with a rounded
wooden back. He wouldn’t let go of Knox and rested his cheek against his
hand. “That woman literally squirted holy water at me on Halloween. I
wouldn’t call her an example of sanity.”
Knox laughed. “To be fair, you did wear horns.”
“And no shirt. It was a sexy devil, not the son of Satan.”
“Oh, I remember. I was dating Louisa back then, and she insisted on
couple costumes, so I ended up as a piece of toast with jam, while she was a
piece of toast with peanut butter. She made them out of cardboard and I
didn’t have the heart to tell her I didn’t wanna wear mine. We broke up a
month later anyway.”
Liv snorted. “It wasn’t meant to be. What would our couples costume
be?” he asked, leaning closer as the movie started.
As much as he liked it, right now he didn’t give a rat’s ass about Ripley,
the crew, or anyone else. All he cared about was that Knox squeezed his
hand harder.
Knox shook his head with a smile. “At this point? Two inmates. You
could pull it off though. You look hot in overalls.”
Liv’s mouth crooked into a smile, and he pulled Knox close, until the
warm head rested on his shoulder as they watched the start of the film. “You
should wear something with easy access, because I’d definitely want to tap
that on Halloween.”
Knox shrugged and pulled on Liv’s ear with his teeth. “You always have
access to my face.”
Lust flooded Liv, starting where those soft lips closed around his earlobe
and cascading down his body until it burned. He was hard within seconds.
“Oh shit,” he whispered, trembling when Knox’s breath caressed his
sensitive skin.
“Just focus on the movie,” Knox said but his mischievous grin told Liv
that he knew exactly what he did. It was almost as if they were just hanging
out and having fun without all the baggage of being wanted by the cops and
living off-grid.
“I don’t want to,” murmured Liv as the warm mouth descended down his
neck. This was something he’d usually do to his girlfriends, not the other
way around, but damn, it felt good.
“We paid for this,” Knox whispered, but his hand still slid between Liv’s
legs and squeezed his dick, making up for their spat. “Oh no. Down, boy,”
Knox said and gently patted Liv’s crotch before taking his hand away.
Liv blinked in shock, turning to look at Knox’s grin. “That’s just cruel.”
Knox turned to the screen with a self-satisfied smile. “I’m not giving you
a hand job at the movies. You just gotta live with it.”
Knox probably meant this to be gentle teasing. A hot prelude to an
amazing fuck later. But to Liv it was a challenge, and he slid to the carpeted
floor, kneeling between Knox’s spread legs.
“I don’t have to do anything.”
Knox’s eyes went so wide Liv could see the whole universe in their
depths. Or they were just reflecting the galaxies on the screen. Either way,
he didn’t move a muscle. He might have even stopped breathing. It was
great to know Liv had this effect on him.
Maybe he was shocked that Liv, who hadn’t given him head yet, was now
possibly-maybe about to do that. And why hadn’t he? Knox had a great
dick. Maybe it was just fear of the unknown? Of not being good at it? Or
that it was definitely a very, very gay thing to do.
But right now? He felt himself salivate because of the way Knox watched
him, uncertain of what Liv was about to do. Anticipation looked so
beautiful on him.
 Breathless, Liv placed his hands on Knox’s hard thighs and squeezed
them before leaning in to steal a kiss from lips he’d become so addicted to.
“Are you really gonna…?” Knox whispered but didn’t push Liv away.
His nervousness only made Liv want to do it more. It was a dick. What
could go wrong? He knew how dicks worked, and it wasn’t like he could
attempt his first deepthroating with other people in the room. There were
way too many silent moments in this movie.
So Liv grinned and pulled both his hands along Knox’s thighs, to meet at
his groin. And oh, Knox was as hard as he was.
“Should I?” he teased.
Knox bent forward to whisper. “There’s people here.”
That wasn’t a ‘no’. And the presence of other people wouldn’t stop Liv,
because fuck them. He’d finally gathered the courage to try this, and
nothing could have dissuaded him. “I’m horny now. And so are you,” he
rasped, petting Knox’s bulge in a circular motion that had Knox’s eyelids
fluttering.
Knox stared at him, then put his hand on Liv’s shoulder. Oh yes. It was
on.
“You’ll miss the plot,” Knox said, but didn’t manage to hide his grin. Liv
couldn’t wait to make him squirm. Soon enough, the smirk would be gone,
replaced by an expression of ecstasy.
“This is the plot,” Liv whispered, moving lower to rub his face against the
hoodie that already smelled of Knox, not just Ezra’s fabric softener. His
hands found the fly, and moments later it was open, Knox’s cock only
restrained by a layer of cotton.
Liv could bathe in the pure awe in Knox’s eyes. Knox never asked for
this, but his eagerness spoke volumes, and Liv wouldn’t deny him. Denying
Knox anything was beyond his capabilities.
He didn’t know if he’d enjoy doing this quite the same way Knox seemed
to, but he still wanted to put his mouth to work, because it would make
Knox happy. Liv wanted to feel him tremble, make his eyes roll back, and
he did want to know what his cum tasted like, even though it was likely as
salty as his own. Because, yeah, he had tasted it a few times.
For now, he let instinct guide him and slid his nose into the folds of
denim, inhaling Knox’s intimate aroma.
Knox slipped his hands to Liv’s cheeks, then to his ears, too horny to care
about other people in the cinema after all. “So wrong…” he whispered as
Liv pulled his pants down, revealing the stiff dick begging for attention.
This was far from Liv’s first time seeing it, but he’d never been this close.
Knox had to raise his hips to move his jeans and underwear lower, and the
motion made his cock poke the underside of Liv’s chin. It was so
unexpected he barely stifled the moan pushing at his lips, but the moment
he met Knox’s gaze, enchanted and hungry for him, his brain stopped
working and he kissed the very tip, following that with the gentlest lick.
The smug smile dripped from Knox’s face, replaced by tension and a
flush revealed by the faint glow of the screen. This was what Liv loved.
Making Knox lose it. Making him horny. Pleasuring him.
He took a deep breath to better acquaint himself with Knox’s scent, and a
shiver went down his spine from the exhilaration. Yep, this already felt just
as great as everything else he’d done with Knox. The gentle touch of
Knox’s thumbs right behind Liv’s ears urged him to get going, and he was
intent on delivering what his partner needed.
Squeezing the cock in one hand and rubbing Knox’s hot chest with the
other, he swirled his tongue over the head, tasting the salt of pre-cum and
the scent of soap lingering from Knox’s shower. He wanted to know what
turned Knox on, so he looked up, watching him as he tickled the glans.
He was Knox’s sole focus when their eyes met. Knox didn’t even blink,
entranced as he breathed out, “suck me in…”
Yep. Liv would be repeating this.
A part of him still felt the slightest resistance to taking in this hot dick,
but he opened his lips around the tip, and dove in anyway. When he
squeezed it between his palate and tongue, everything that ever held him
back became dust unworthy of his attention. Because having Knox like this,
and being the master of his pleasure was already damn hot. And they’d only
started.
Winking at him, Liv took more of the shaft, careful not to touch it with
his teeth. When it tickled the back of his throat, the shock of it was severe
enough to make him withdraw. Yep. Definitely wasn’t going there now.
Knox didn’t push him, but his fingers slid into Liv’s hair. His breath sped
up, stomach rising and falling fast as his dick throbbed with arousal in Liv’s
mouth. So needy. So cute in the way he gasped, trying to keep quiet.
Liv tested how it would feel to press his tongue to the underside of the
shaft as he bobbed his head, and he loved hearing the little whimper that
elicited. And then, just as he’d expected, when he glanced up, Knox was
biting down on his hand. Fuck yes.
With a soft grunt, Liv touched Knox’s hand and moved it over his head,
to let him know how much he liked it there. How much he wanted to be
touched, stroked, and acknowledged as he did this. When Knox caught on,
rubbing his scalp, Liv trembled with pleasure. His own dick pushed at his
underwear in need of friction, but Liv only rocked his hips in the air to shift
the fabric around it. Knox’s pleasure took precedence, so he sucked on the
hard shaft, utilizing technique he’d had so often used on him.
With one hand massaging the lower part of Knox’s cock, he used his
mouth on the upper half without worry about the dick choking him. He
gradually let himself stop thinking about each and every move and followed
Knox’s prompts as well as his instincts.
It was an… intuitive blowjob, and considering the way his lover’s legs
shook on either side of him, he was doing damn well for a first-timer.
“Fuck… so good,” Knox whimpered and bent forward just enough to kiss
the top of Liv’s head. He didn’t hold back any longer and used Liv’s mouth
for pleasure, pumping his hips in quick jabs, going only as far as Liv’s hand
allowed, still tight around the base of Knox’s pulsing dick.
Liv’s skin was on fire, and he clutched at Knox’s jeans to bring their
bodies closer as the hot, delicious cock moved inside him, punching more
and more reason out of his brain.
He was too turned on, too into the repetitive motion to realize what was
about to happen, so when Knox stiffened and tightened his hold on Liv’s
head, the first jet of cum hitting the back of Liv’s mouth, came as a surprise.
For a moment, he was torn whether he should swallow or let it dribble out,
but by the time more spunk painted his tongue, his body made his decision
for him, and Knox’s essence was on its way to his stomach.
He wasn’t a fan of its texture, or flavor, but something about this
moment, about Knox taking his pleasure inside him, made him follow the
music unquestioningly.
A giddy feeling spread in his chest when he looked up into Knox’s face,
twisting with arousal as he held a hand over his mouth to hold in his
panting.
He was so fucking sexy. Liv wanted to take a photo of him like this and
always keep it in his wallet.
 But just as he swallowed the last of Knox’s cum, adjusting to its taste, the
lights came on, leaving them both stunned and confused. Liv was still
licking his lips as he popped his head up over the chair in front of him, and
froze at the sight of a security guard in his sixties climbing the stairs with a
stern expression.
“Fuck,” Knox hissed, desperately pulling up his pants.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 24

Liv

THE AIR FILLING LIV’S lungs smelled of popcorn, old upholstery, and,
yeah, also of Knox, whose flavor lingered on his tongue. They scrambled
from their seats as the guard reached the last row. With adrenaline pumping
in his veins, Liv reached the other set of stairs and raced Knox for the door,
barely paying any attention to the old man’s yelling, or even the audience.
One of those anonymous shadows had ratted them out, but it no longer
mattered. He couldn’t unsuck a cock just because someone was squeamish
about it.
He only looked over his shoulder to make sure Knox was following him.
They collided, stumbling into the carpeted hallway before sprinting straight
out and leaving the guard behind.
No one else tried to stop them.
The cashier glared at them on their way out, but by that point, they were
both laughing too hard to care. Liv wouldn’t take any risks though, and led
the way, running down the street and into the first alley on their way.
It was still bright enough for them to not fall over cans that had spilled
out of a trash bag placed next to a dumpster, but Liv slowed when Knox’s
breathing turned laborious. He always forgot Knox wasn’t supposed to run
for so long.
 “Look at this mural,” he said, pointing to the wall to provide a valid
excuse for them to stop, because Knox hated being reminded of his health
issues.
Knox’s feet hit the asphalt a couple more times, but he stalled, resting his
hands on his hips as he took deep breaths, attempting to minimize the
wheezing sound he was making. In the past, he’d been mocked over this,
and while Liv enjoyed teasing him, he would never mock him for this
particular thing. Some things just shouldn’t be said. Ever.
At least the piece of street art was actually decent enough to warrant this
stop. Reaching all the way to the roof and so far untouched by other graffiti
nor misguided attempts at cleanup, it depicted a batter in Pittsburgh Pirates
gear taking a swing. The blurred edges looked as if the giant might move at
any moment, his face tense with focus.
Knox’s eyes lit up with a smile, making Liv’s heart beat faster. Knox was
so pretty. Now that Liv allowed himself to appreciate his looks, he often
caught himself staring. When Knox slept, when he did his whole thing of
shirtless breakfast-making, or when he laughed at something on TV. And, of
course, Liv was always greedy for Knox’s cum face. Trembling lips,
flushed face, eyes rolling back under lowered eyelids… Liv would have
taken endless photos if Knox allowed it.
“Should I send Frank a photo? You know, because pirates.”
Liv chuckled, reminded of the prank they’d pulled on Frank to get back at
him for slapping them. They’d stolen his clean underwear from a
clothesline behind the house, packed it into an old metal box, and buried it
close by, setting up a very basic treasure hunt. It took a lot of time and
commitment, but it had all been worth it for the look on Frank’s face when
he stepped outside with a towel wrapped around his hips and realized he’ll
have to either search for the buried treasure or go commando.
Ezra had attempted to hide his amusement as he joined his man to give
him a hand at solving the puzzles leading to the big X marking the
underpants-chest, but he’d failed.
Good times.
“Yeah. Pant pirates. Baseball pirates. Pirates are haunting us,” Liv said,
adjusting his jeans, because his dick was still very much interested in a
meeting with Knox’s lips. “Must be because I’m one too,” he said, stepping
close to Knox with a wide smile.
 Knox snorted and pushed at his chest. “Oh yeah? More like cum pirate.
You took it all like a champ.” His blue eyes glistened with glee in the faint
light coming from the street, and as Knox approached, the heat inside Liv
came close to the boiling point. The rest of the world became background
noise, because all he could hear was his own heart and the pulsing inside his
cock.
Now that they were on their own again, lust rushed back into his veins,
and he gently took hold of Knox’s throat, holding him against the wall.
When Knox swallowed, the blue of his eyes was drowned by the black of
his pupils.
He was so damn hot with that golden stubble. It made his lips look even
softer. And they were very much wanted around Liv's dick right now.
“It was an experience,” Liv whispered and led Knox’s hand to his trapped
dick. The touch made him close his eyes, but then he leaned into the crook
of Knox’s neck and pinched a bit of warm flesh with his teeth.
In response, Knox’s fingers tightened around his cock. His shallow
breaths were music to his ears. He never thought he could have this kind of
magnetic power over Knox, who was always so stubborn in asserting
himself. Always fighting, always antagonizing people when what he wanted
was to submit.
“One you’d like to taste again?” Knox asked, not even blinking.
Liv grinned, remembering the pulsing presence on his lips, the flavor of
Knox’s flesh, and the overwhelming satisfaction of making Knox writhe
and shiver at the back of the old cinema.
Hell yeah, he’d do it again.
“Yeah, but next time you won’t have to hold in your breath and will be
able to tell me exactly what you think about my blowjob skills,” he rasped,
rocking his hips against the palm holding him on a leash.
“I really need to learn how to deepthroat,” Knox blurted out in one
breath, as he unzipped Liv’s jeans. He was already flushed again, his pulse
quickening against Liv’s palm.
Liv had a few super horny girlfriends in the past, but Knox? He was
insatiable. Liv could laugh in Amanda’s face over her claims of Knox being
frigid. She just hadn’t known what Knox needed. But Liv did, and he’d give
him exactly that and more.
His lover shuddered when Liv licked his way to his face, tasting the salty
skin and sharp blond bristles. “Yeah? What turns you on about it?” he
asked, tracing Knox’s ear with the tip of his nose.
Liv was a quick learner, and he already knew Knox found it hard to speak
about these things when he wasn’t hard. But when they were touching,
when Liv made him aroused, filthy words left his mouth with ease.
“I want all of your dick inside me,” Knox whispered, breaking eye
contact to look down at the prize he was about to pull out of Liv’s pants.
Oh yeah.
“That can be arranged,” Liv said, rubbing Knox’s chest as he pushed his
hips forward. “You’ll make me feel so damn good.”
A dreamy smile appeared on Knox’s lips when he wrapped his fingers
around Liv’s throbbing dick. “I will. You look so hot when you come.”
Liv's grin grew wider. “You wanna start tonight?” he asked, giving
Knox’s shoulder a gentle downwards push, because hell yes, he wanted to
see him on his knees, greedy for dick and all starry-eyed.
But Knox stalled, instead of going down like a good boy, and Liv took
away his hands, because he wasn’t losing this hot moment over a
misunderstanding. Knox could be quick to taking those out of proportion. “I
mean... fine if you don’t wanna start learning here-here.”
“I… um, kind of thought we could do the other thing,” Knox whispered,
but in the quiet alleyway only sometimes illuminated by the lights of a
passing car, Liv heard him loud and clear.
That was… surprising, but also so damn hot Liv could’ve fried an egg on
his own forehead right then.
“Really?” Liv asked before catching himself, but when Knox blinked, Liv
dove in for a kiss. “I mean… you just came. And… are you ready for that?”
Knox never let go of Liv’s dick, massaging it with his thumb as his other
hand slid up Liv’s chest. “It’s a date, so I… expected it to happen. I’d like it
to happen. You drive me mad, Liv. With you, I’m ready to go all the time.”
Liv had been with so many people, but hearing this from Knox’s lips did
something funny to both his chest and dick. He felt weak and powerful at
the same time. By the time he cupped that handsome face, the urge burning
at the back of his mind was the only thing he cared about.
“I can’t fucking control myself when you talk to me like this,” Liv said,
squeezing both of Knox’s arms, ready to spin him around and take what
was on offer.
A playful glint appeared in Knox’s eyes and he gave Liv a quick kiss.
“Like what?”
 “Like I’m the only man in the world,” Liv said, almost ashamed at how
vulnerable he felt saying it.
Knox swallowed, and his fingertip circled the slit on Liv’s cockhead.
“You are to me. I wouldn’t let any other guy inside me. I know that now. I
would have chickened out with Cy—”
Liv grabbed Knox’s ass and pulled their hips close as he gave him a deep,
forceful kiss that could barely express the emotions buzzing inside him like
a violent storm. He was special. Needed.
“Don’t talk about him. You’re with me,” he demanded, sliding his knee
between Knox’s thighs.
All of Knox’s attention was back on Liv, and he nodded. “Only you.”
The new nose piercing wouldn’t fool Liv. Knox was a lamb. He could
deny it and wrap himself in razor wire, but Liv would still only see the real
him underneath. Now that they'd added sex to their friendship, there was no
reason to seek out any girls and make life complicated. They’d be together,
like Liv always wanted. Forever.
“I fucking need you,” Liv said and spun Knox around, to face the graffiti.
His hands moved back to that round ass, toned from plenty of exercise and
so damn delicious a part of Liv wanted to taste it.
But there would be a time for that. Right now, he wanted to fuck Knox
fast and hard.
Knox pressed his cheek to the wall and opened his belt without
prompting. Just seeing him so eager for a fuck made blood rush down Liv’s
body. For him, Knox let go of years of inhibitions. If that wasn’t flattering,
he didn’t know what was.
“How does it feel when I’m fucking you?” Liv asked, his head burning
with need when the jeans dropped halfway down, revealing buttocks still
clad in a layer of fabric. Liv shoved the boxer briefs lower and hummed at
the sight of the juicy peach. Unable to help himself, he rubbed it in a
rounded motion while his free hand dove into his pocket, seeking the small
tube of lube he could no longer live without.
Knox pressed his forehead against the wall, palms flat against painted
brick. “Like nothing else matters. On the verge of pain, but oh so fucking
good. I imagine your dick pumping inside me.”
Liv closed his teeth on Knox’s nape, and they both shivered, leaning
against the building as Liv squirted lube in his hand and pushed two fingers
up Knox’s hole. If his friend wanted slow and gentle, he wouldn’t have
asked for anal in a back street where they might be discovered at any
moment.
“Just tell me when. Tell me when you want my dick in your tight little
hole.”
Knox clenched his ass on the fingers with a gasp, glancing to the mouth
of the alley, as if only now remembering where they were. His lips trembled
so beautifully Liv wished he had another dick just to feed it to Knox while
he fucked his ass.
“Fuck… Just fucking go for it,” Knox mumbled.
Liv loved a good quickie.
So he slicked his cock, pushed up his hoodie and probed the warm hole.
Seeing his shaft part the ass cheeks had his head spinning. “Hope you’re
ready for me, Knoxie,” he whispered, using a nickname he could only get
away with when he was fucking Knox.
When he pushed half his dick in one go, Knox moaned against the wall,
going up to his toes.
“That feels so good,” Liv murmured against Knox’s nape, rubbing it with
his nose as he indulged in the tight muscles squeezing his cock.
“Fuck. So big,” Knox whined, rolling his head.
“Yeah, and you love it. It’s what you always needed,” Liv teased, sliding
his hands to Knox’s tense stomach.
“I did. I do. Faster…”
Liv did not need to be asked twice. He grabbed Knox’s hips and pushed
in the rest of the way in a single, steady thrust that made his ears ring and
his eyelids flutter. “You want me to make myself come with your body?
Use it like a Fleshlight?” he whispered, torn whether he wanted to look at
the ass swallowing his cock, or the flushed nape that still bore the mark of
his bite.
“It’s what I’m fucking made for…” Knox said, sliding one of his hands to
the front of his body.
Liv’s senses went into overdrive with arousal, and he didn’t hold back,
fucking Knox’s ass as if his life depended on it. All he could think of was
the hot body against him, so pliant and horny for him.
When Knox’s moans became too loud, Liv slid his hand over the hot lips
that throbbed in the same rhythm as Knox’s hole and held on to his face,
blocking most of the noise. They moved together, blind and deaf to
anything but their mutual desire. Liv’s thrusts were hard and fast, and when
they both adjusted to it, he knew there was no reason to hold anything back.
He attempted to whisper compliments into Knox’s ear, but they were both
too far gone, and Liv doubted Knox could understand the breathy, broken
words anyway. Chasing pleasure, Liv caught himself in the last possible
moment and pulled out to avoid coming inside Knox. His balls ached by the
time he tugged on his dick, spraying those perfect, fuzzy cheeks with cum.
Peach and fucking cream. De-licious.
The dimples on the sides of Knox’s ass deepened as he came. “Fuck…”
Knox whispered, panting and holding on to the wall as Liv rubbed his
lover’s exposed skin, in soothing circles.
A bit faint, he rested his chin on Knox’s shoulder and breathed in his
scent. “So that was… real fucking good,” he muttered, diving his hand into
his pocket to get a little packet of disposable tissues.
Knox turned his head revealing an unexpected grin, even though his eyes
were closed. “I’ve got wet wipes in my hoodie pocket. Looks like we both
came prepared.”
Liv hummed, cleaning his cum off Knox’s ass. He was a gentleman, after
all. “We forgot condoms. And this date isn’t over yet.”
Knox shrugged and winked at him like a sated cat. “I don’t need condoms
with you. Are you trying to say you’re gonna make me come a third time
tonight? My balls will shrivel.”
Liv chuckled and slid between Knox and the wall, taking him into his
arms. “Even I don’t have that much stamina. And yeah, I fucking love not
having to use rubbers, but we are out and about. Don’t want you to be
uncomfortable, you know, after.”
Liv’s heart skipped a beat when Knox leaned into the hug, not caring to
pull up his pants yet. Dirty boy.
“Liv… That’s so thoughtful. Okay, rubbers sometimes so you can come
inside me wherever we are.” He chuckled and nipped on Liv’s ear.
With his blood still running hot, Liv let his head drop to his nape as he
enjoyed the caress. “It's like heaven when you tighten your ass on my dick,”
he muttered and froze when he opened his eyes to see someone standing in
a window on the third floor. Watching them. He couldn’t tell who it was,
since they had their lights off, but that was definitely a head and a pair of
shoulders.
Fuck. Knox would freak out if he knew.
 He scowled and waved his hand for the person to fuck off. Judging by the
quick way they backed away, at least the person didn’t want to be seen
spying either.
Good save, Liv mentally patted himself on the back, pulling up Knox’s
pants. He didn’t want some stranger ogling his man.
“We’ll make sure you get to do that tomorrow,” Knox said, cuddling up
to him as if he wanted to drown Liv in his embrace. He only got like this
after sex, but it was sweet and most definitely invited.
Liv kissed the top of his head, resting as his body calmed, heavy and
sated in the darkness, with Knox’s warmth keeping him toasty. But when
Knox shivered, still clad in the thin hoodie that was most definitely not
appropriate outerwear for the cold months in Pennsylvania, Liv met his
eyes with a frown.
“I’m done with this. We’re getting you a jacket.”
“What?” Knox pulled back, blinking as if he’d woken up from a dream.
“I’ve got one at the junkyard.”
“Yeah, and it’s so ugly you don’t wanna wear it.”
Knox rolled his eyes but didn’t deny it.
Liv took the wet wipes from him and cleaned himself up. “You’re not
getting ill on my watch, okay?”
Knox shook his head, but a smile wouldn’t leave his lips. “You’re such a
dumbass. I’m not made of paper, you know?"
Liv shrugged, adjusting his clothes. “You say that, but who would need to
take care of you if you caught a cold? I’m just doing this out of pure
selfishness,” he lied, knowing Knox did not appreciate others nannying
him.
Knox groaned and gave him a quick kiss before pulling away. “Fine. But
we need it to be cheap as dirt if we’re supposed to also have those burgers
later.”
Liv rolled his eyes. “Yes, mother, we shall not overspend on new
sneakers either. Come on,” he urged with a swat to Knox’s butt.
Knox laughed and they rolled out of the alleyway, high without the need
to smoking anything. Knox gave Liv that elated feeling every time he
smiled.
They didn’t have to walk far to find a secondhand shop down the road.
The place would close in half an hour, but that should be enough to find
something appropriate. They had a laugh at the Halloween costumes
showcased in the window, since pirates were prominently featured in the
display.
“Told you this is haunting us,” Liv told Knox, standing in front of the
mannequin wearing a tricorn hat and a hook for a hand. “What do you say?
Do you want a pirate coming for your booty next time?”
Knox laughed, heading for the jackets section in the far off corner of the
large shop. They were pretty much alone save for one customer and a hot,
but bored-looking cashier. She had long black nails and her arms were fully
inked in a dense pattern.
“Nah, I like you more than any pirate. But we could get Frank the hat. As
a reward for his treasure hunting skills."
Liv roared with laughter and didn’t miss the cashier looking up to check
them out. “Oh, he’d be so fucking mad! Let’s do it.”
Knox got the hat off the mannequin and put it in Liv’s hands, as he went
off to browse the jackets. He spent most of his workdays at the junkyard
outside, so he really needed one that would last him through the winter.
Neither of them were used to Pennsylvania weather, but it wasn’t as though
they had much choice in the matter.
Liv put the hat on and made a low arrr, glaring at his reflection in the
mirror. “This isn’t a bad look. Would definitely get me noticed.”
Knox smiled. “You should go trick or treating, see what it bags you. You
know I love free food.”
Liv smiled, noticing the frown on Knox’s face. He always felt it was kind
of cute when he got so focused, but there was a new dimension to their
every interaction now. And that expression was so sexy Liv wanted to bite
into this ripe fruit again.
So he was indulging. And he wasn’t even a bit sorry.
“They’re all kind of drab. Gray will make you look like death.”
Knox rolled his eyes. “Perfect for when we go trick or treating then.”
“Would you be any less negative if I came inside you?” Liv whispered in
passing.
Knox tensed, and a flush crawled up his face. Bingo.
“I’m just saying, this is what we can afford.”
“Come on, live a little. What about this one?” Liv asked, reaching for a
cozy-looking piece with a red plaid pattern and plush lining that would
surely provide enough warmth.
 Knox cocked his head, but Liv knew him well enough to see he liked it,
so he pushed on.
“Go on, try it.”
The jacket was roomy enough wear it over a hoodie, which would give
Knox more layers when the weather inevitably got colder.
And it made him look like a million bucks. Like he was about to cut
down some trees then sit down for a well-earned coffee. The red went with
his blond hair and made him stand out the way he deserved to.
“What do you think?” Knox turned to Liv, who bit back a grin and moved
around him, pretending he wasn’t yet sure.
“Hmm.”
Knox rolled his eyes and grabbed the zipper. “Fine, I’ll look for
something—”
“I think you look like a guy I want to suck off during a break at work,”
Liv said, pinning him with his gaze.
He had all of Knox’s attention and loved every second of it.
Knox licked his lips and glanced at the price tag attached to the sleeve.
“Fuck.”
“How expensive can it be?” Liv asked and peeked at the little card.
Well… it was on the expensive side, but Knox would get a lot of use out of
it, so it needed to suit him, not just keep him warm. “We can share one
burger tonight. Or just have loaded fries.”
Knox groaned, pushing his hands into the jacket’s pockets, which only
made him look cooler. “Nooo… I wanted to treat you. It’s been a tough two
weeks and this was supposed to be our night.”
“Well, I want to treat you too, and you deserve this jacket. Maybe we can
talk Ezra into making burgers when we’re back,” Liv said and squeezed
Knox’s arm to feel how soft and warm the fabric was.
Knox bit his lip. “You think it looks hot?” He sighed when Liv nodded. “I
mean… Maybe we'll tell Ezra we wanted to get burgers in town, he’ll go
into a rant about how unhealthy they are, and I’d ask him how to make
them better, and he’d show me, and we’ll have burgers?”
Liv wiggled his brows and gave Knox’s cheek a little pat. “Look at you.
So smart.”
Knox gave him a playful shove, then took off the jacket. “Okay, go buy it
and the hat. I just want to have a look at the cars before we go.” He pointed
to a glass cabinet full of miniatures.
 “Deal, we’ll both leave happy,” Liv said and headed for the register,
toward the tattooed girl, whose eyes settled on him with a touch of interest.
“Been here all day? Must be interesting to meet lots of people,” he said,
placing both items on the counter.
She smiled, taking her time to pull out a bag from a drawer behind her,
and showing off her ass in tight black jeans. “Rarely get guys like you
though. It’s mostly teens and grannies. Are you new in town?”
Liv stalled with his eyes fixed on her butt. It suddenly occurred to him
that the last time he’d spoken to a woman before tonight had been… on the
day Vlad died. The junkyard was a total sausage fest, and it’s been so damn
long he craved to extend the interaction, get a bit of validation. “Yeah, we
live… away from town but close.”
She scanned the price tags, then folded the jacket, glancing up at Liv
every now and then. She pointed to Liv’s neck. “I like your tattoo. You
should come see my band this weekend, if you have good taste.” She
winked at him with the kind of confidence he liked in women. She knew
what she wanted and shot her shot with all the plausible deniability.
“I thought you looked like someone with artistic interests. What
instrument do you play? No, let me guess,” he said, noting the guitar strings
tattooed on her collarbone. “You look like… a lead guitar woman.”
“Perceptive and handsome, I like it.” She put the shopping in the large
bag and pointed to the price on the register.
“And I have good taste in music,” Liv bluffed, because he had no fucking
idea what her band played. Not that it mattered. He offered her the cash,
holding out his hand and waiting for her to pick it up.
She made sure to touch him as she accepted the note. “Well, you can
prove that to me on Saturday."
A giddy sensation spread through his body as he met her gaze. She had
such long lashes, and the dark makeup made her blue eyes pop. “Maybe
you should give me your number, just so I can ask where I should be on
Saturday.”
She smirked, picked up a pen, and urged him to push up his sleeve.
“Wow, so much ink. Let me just find a space… here.”
Her touch was warm, with a bit of bite from the long nails, and as the
numbers appeared on Liv’s forearm, he knew he still had it. He wasn’t sure
what he’d do with the number yet, but just getting it out of her counted as a
jackpot.
 “Love that yours are music-themed.”
She smiled, pushing her hair behind her ear, and Liv imagined what it
could be like to touch her soft—
Knox cleared his throat. When Liv turned, he saw Knox standing a few
steps away with hands in his hoodie, and eyes that could kill.
“Are we going?” he asked in a voice as cold as… when Liv had hooked
up with Amanda.
Oh shit.
Fuck.
Ice took hold of Liv’s body, and he grabbed the bag with their shopping,
focused on Knox’s slack features.
In that moment, he knew that he’d failed at making Knox’s evening
special, and a cute jacket wouldn't make up for his mistakes.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 25

Liv

LIV HAD DONE IT again.

Anyone would have grown out of acting without thought at this point, but
he clearly needed more than twenty-three years. Or maybe he was just too
stupid to learn from past mistakes.
The fact that he was now sleeping with his best friend did not mean he
stopped being attracted to women, but he should have known better than
flirting with one at an outing with Knox. His behavior wouldn’t have gone
down well with anyone. Hell, he’d have been rightly upset if Knox started
flirting with a server at the diner while out with him, so why the hell had he
gone with the flow and flirted with that girl?
He didn’t know her, and while leaning into her attention had been as
instinctive as breathing, he was a full-grown adult and should have acted
like one.
He sprinted out of the store the moment Knox passed through the door
and reached for his shoulder once they were both out in the street.
“Wait!”
He should have seen it coming, he knew Knox well enough, but the fist
flew his way too fast, too unexpectedly. He ended up losing his balance and
falling to the pavement with one palm on his aching cheek.
“Fuck you!” Knox spat out, his face twisted into a mask.
 The street lights danced around Liv as he shook his head and opened his
jaw to relieve the tension on its side. That was… quite a punch.
He and Knox had gotten into physical altercations in the past, but now
that he’d tasted this blow, he was starting to suspect Knox had always been
holding back.
A woman skirted off the pavement and into the road, passing them at a
distance, as if she worried violence might be unleashed on her next. Just
fucking great.
“I deserved that,” Liv mumbled, trying to pick himself up, but he lost
balance and collapsed to his knees in front of Knox.
“You’re fine. Get up,” Knox snarled at him. “You don’t want your future
girlfriend seeing you like this.”
“What—no, it’s not like that, Knox. That’s the whole point. I don’t want
to date anyone,” he said, getting back to his feet. The ground and the sky
were back in place, and he could focus on the conversation, looking straight
into Knox’s eyes. “It’s just a bit of flirting.”
Knox’s nostrils flared, and he shoved at Liv’s chest. “You don’t want to
date? You’re literally on a date, so what the fuck are you saying?”
“I don’t want to date girls. See, this is perfect, because there will be no
one trying to put a wedge between us. So yeah, I shouldn’t have done that
in your presence. I’m just not used to this.”
Knox stared at him as if Liv had grown two heads. Then pushed him
again. “Not used to what? Not having pussy on tap? Do you hear yourself?
What do you think this is? You were literally inside me half an hour ago!”
Liv didn’t move, withstanding the firm shove. In the glow of the colorful
lights draped in the nearest shop window, Knox’s face almost had a softness
to it, despite the fury burning in his eyes. “Yeah, but we’re not a couple-
couple. I didn’t think you’d get this mad.”
For a moment Knox stood still, staring at him. The hurt was painted all
over his face. Did he… think they were? Maybe because he was gay, he saw
this differently? But they’d need to talk about that. And what…? Would that
mean a forever with Knox? It was something Liv had always entertained as
the perfect end game, but never took into account it would mean not
sleeping with women. Ever again.
“What are we then? Pals? Bros? Comrades who suck each other’s dicks?”
Knox raised his voice, no longer caring to keep their sexuality on the down
low.
 Liv looked around, but the few people he could see skittered away, not
wanting any part in their spat. Good, because the last thing they needed was
someone trying to add more fuel to Knox’s fire.
The truth was Liv could have started the talk about their changing
relationship, but out in the junkyard, away from women and stuck in a
fishbowl with only gay men, he hadn’t given much thought to what
happened.
And maybe he should have.
“I… don’t know. We haven’t defined anything.”
This time, Liv saw the fire in Knox’s eyes and knew it meant a punch
coming, so he blocked it to protect his face. He still got the next one in the
stomach, but that one hurt less.
“Fucking fight me, you asshole! If you didn’t want me, you shouldn't
have humped my leg like a horny dog! But no! You always have to take
everything, even if you don’t really want it. Like you did with Amanda, or
how you made me leave you half a pizza, but then didn’t eat it! Am I that
cold fucking pizza now?”
“What pizza? You’re not making any sense, and I didn’t do this on
purpose,” Liv started, but his confidence dwindled when Knox started
blinking all too frequently despite his eyes throwing daggers. This was the
last thing he wanted to do. He fucking loved Knox and would have rather
cut off his finger than hurt him, but he couldn’t turn back time. “Let’s talk
about this at home, okay?”
“No! Let’s not! There’s nothing to say here. I thought you were my
boyfriend, and now I find out I’m just a convenient fuck to pass the time.
You always did this to girls. I don’t know why I thought I’d be special.”
Knox shook his head, and the fact that he took a step back was somehow
more hurtful than another punch would have been.
Did he think there was nothing left to fight for? Over some girl whose
name Liv didn’t know? Whose number was more of a trophy than anything
else?
“Knox, wait,” he said, going after him right away as panic settled deep in
his chest, because he couldn’t imagine his world without Knox. While this
clash of expectations came as a surprise (even though it maybe shouldn’t
have) he needed to do something to mend things. But with Knox firing all
those words at him, he couldn’t quite keep up with his own thoughts.
 “I just didn’t expect this. You know I hook up all the time, and you never
said anything about wanting more. But you are special, because you’re my
best man.”
"‘Best man’? As in, at your future wedding? Will you want a quick
blowjob before or after the ceremony?" Knox shook his head, stopping in
front of the parking lot, where the light of a nearby diner showed how red
his eyes were. "You're out of your fucking mind! I wish you never fucking
kissed me! It’s all a fucking game to you.”
That hurt way more than the punch had, but Liv followed him and tried to
grab his hand, only vaguely noticing the police car parked outside the diner.
The cops were likely getting their food. And why the fuck was it so hard to
put his thoughts into words for once?
“That’s the whole point. I don’t want to live with some girlfriend who’s
gonna be angry that I spend most of my time with you. You are—” He
stalled, watching Knox piercing him with a death glare that made his lungs
sluggish. He could barely breathe under the scrutiny of that punishing gaze.
“You are the most important person in my life.”
“Then you shouldn’t have fucked me!” Knox roared and shoved him back
so hard Liv fell back on the hood of the car behind him.
Liv hissed, shaking his head, because he could see figures approaching
the windows of the diner as the patrons became aware of what was going on
in the parking lot. “Well, you needed that, and don’t deny it. And I really
fucking like doing it. It’s not a crime, and it doesn’t mean I don’t care.”
He was trying to make sense of everything, but going by Knox’s
expression, he’d just taken the safety pin out of a grenade inside Knox’s
chest.
“You have no idea what I need!” His hands were on the front of Liv’s
jacket, and he pulled Liv forward, just to shove him back against the car.
Liv grabbed Knox’s wrists to try and stop this madness.
“Well then fucking tell me, Knox. I’m not a mind reader,” Liv pushed out
through gritted teeth, but his gaze settled on the cop watching them through
the window. “We’ll get arrested.”
“I need you to…” Knox mumbled, but turned back to glance at the
policewoman. Another cop was already leaving the diner and headed their
way with a stern expression.
“Shit,” Liv mumbled and blindly unlocked their vehicle. “Get in the car,”
he said, trying not to look toward the cop. Civilians might not recognize
their faces all the way here, but what if they got ID'd? It was a risk they
could not afford.
“Hey! You two!” the cop yelled out, but at least Knox wasn’t fighting Liv
over this.
He circled the car in express mode and by the time Liv was behind the
wheel, Knox’s seatbelt clicked. In the corner of his eye, Liv saw the two
figures move, with the policewoman dashing out of the diner, but by the
time her partner reached their parking space, Liv had already backed out
into the street and dashed away with a squeak of wheels.
“Lower your head,” he growled, stomping onto the gas pedal. Because
fuck knew what would happen.
When the cops had come to arrest Knox’s dad, they ended up having to
shoot him in the leg to keep him from running off, and Liv was not risking
Knox, who could not do anything to aid their escape in the passenger seat
anyway.
This car wasn’t made for racing, and it sped up with a wheeze, but it
needed to do, and Liv squeezed the steering wheel harder as they dashed
along the small-town street.
Knox yelped when Liv knocked a few flower pots off someone’s fence
during a sudden turn. “I obscured the plates with mud,” he said, bracing
himself against the dashboard.
As fucking terrible as their situation was, at least behind the wheel Liv
felt confident. Knew what he was doing. In comparison, the confusing
argument with Knox had been like trying to find his way in a desert. In a
boat and without paddles. This race only had one goal. To lose the cops.
And he hadn’t succeeded yet, because he heard the siren and saw the blue-
red light in the rearview mirror.
The thought of Knox in prison made Liv go faster through the sleepy
street. He’d wreck this car but get them out of reach. Hell, he’d wreck
anyone and anything to get Knox to safety. And if all failed then, well, he
would take all the blame, because Knox didn’t deserve to face the dangers
waiting behind bars.
The siren got louder, the blue lights more blinding, but Liv focused on the
road, relaxing into the strange meditative state that always overcame him
when he raced.
His breath slowed and the road became a line he needed to follow,
regardless of what color light showed at the big intersection ahead. He blew
his horn as its shade told him to stop, making the two vehicles about to
cross his path stall just in time. Liv passed, dashing into the darkness ahead,
but so did the cop car, roaring as it chased them. As if two little fish like Liv
and Knox were worth that risk.
At this point, the cops were probably pissed off and it was more about
their pride than what Liv and Knox had done.
“Watch out!” Knox yelled and pointed to a cyclist with no lights on him,
dressed in all black. Because, of course he was.
Liv twisted the steering wheel at the last moment, swiveling into a bunch
of trash cans. One rolled over the hood, the roof, and then fell right in front
of the cops, who managed to come uncomfortably close.
It slowed them down for at least a moment, but Liv and Knox weren’t out
of the woods yet.
And speaking of the woods, Liv had no idea how to lose their tail,
because he literally only knew the easiest way to get from the junkyard into
town. But as he left the town limits behind and sped downhill, with the cops
still on their tail, his gaze caught a moving light ahead. It took a split second
for him to realize that a railway track cut across the road on the way to
town. And while sluggish when compared to the car, it was closer to the
intersection. As Liv sped toward the approximate meeting point, cold sweat
dampened his back.
“Oh fuck. Oh fuck,” Knox whispered, but Liv wouldn’t dare look at him,
and Knox wasn’t trying to give Liv advice on what to do.
Just like always when Knox sat in the passenger seat during a race, he
trusted Liv with his life. Whether that was a smart move, only time would
tell, but it allowed Liv to focus on the road ahead, the upcoming train and
the desperate wheeze of the engine.
Liv’s brain fried calculating their distance from the train, but he had to
trust his instincts, and those said go! If he changed his mind in the last
seconds, he could try making a turn into a ditch, but that would come with
its own risks.
Time slowed as the car accelerated. The train’s horn drowned their
screams, the vehicle shook as its wheels rolled over the track as if fueled by
Liv’s adrenaline.
They emerged on the other side a split second before the train would have
hit them.
 Knox yelled, slamming his palms on the dashboard as Liv laughed out
loud, slowing down ever so slightly. Because they were safe, and he looked
Knox’s way, raising his hand to grab him and pull him in for a kiss, but...
but then the events from just minutes before crawled back into his mind,
and their survival no longer felt as triumphant.
He took a deep breath fighting the tightness blocking his throat.
With the cops off their back, he could ease down the breakneck speed, but
it felt like crashing into a reality he wasn’t ready for.
Knox was holding on to his chest, panting, and scrambling to grab one of
his pills. “Fuck, that was close,” he mumbled, but while Liv itched to help
him, his touch no longer felt wanted.
Everything sunk under an invisible weight that rested on Liv’s chest and
shoulders like a boulder he couldn’t get rid of. Now that he knew what it
was like to touch Knox, how was he supposed to live without it?
“I’m sorry.”
“Nah, I got them on our asses,” Knox mumbled, swallowing one of his
pills, but wouldn’t look at Liv. He wasn’t fighting him, back in avoidance
mode. He knew what the apology was really for but wouldn’t acknowledge
it. As if Liv’s transgression wasn’t worth his time.
'I thought you were my boyfriend!', thudded in Liv's head, like nails
hammered in one by one to taunt him. Because of course that was what
Knox had thought. He’d made Liv pancakes to bed and did his damn
laundry. How was Liv this blind?
Swallowing, Liv tried to find the right words to say, but just as he was
about to possibly-maybe try to explain himself again, Knox’s phone rang,
and he picked up the call as if the president himself were about to offer
them immunity from the law.
“Yeah?” His voice sounded normal. As if nothing had happened. As if his
time with Liv had been only a weird dream.
But when Frank’s voice came from the loudspeaker, even Liv forgot their
tragic misunderstanding.
“We have a situation at the junkyard. And we need you. Right now.”

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 26

Knox

KNOX WANTED TO CRAWL into one of Jag’s hidden dens and never
come out, because he had no idea how he was to face Liv tomorrow
morning. And they only had one bed.
He wasn’t good enough for Liv. Not good enough to become special to
him, and experiencing the proof of that fact felt worse than his mom saying
he wasn’t worth the money spent on his meds, or his dad saying he’d never
be good enough to be a professional kickboxer.
With Liv now speeding toward the junkyard, so they could respond to the
distress call, Knox should be thinking about the trouble ahead. Instead, all
he could focus on was the pain twisting his insides.
‘We’re not a couple,’ resonated in his skull time and time again, making
him question his own sanity. What had he been thinking? How could he
have been stupid enough to believe that a womanizer like Liv could be his
boyfriend? Believing it had been some kind of madness, because the
incredulous look in Liv’s eyes when he’d uncovered his cards told Knox
everything he needed to know about Liv’s feelings.
Knowing Liv, he probably thought he was doing his buddy a favor by
providing a safe way to explore his sexuality, and of course get himself
through a dry spell in the process. Easy. Simple.
 Only it had never been that to Knox, who’d give his hand for a chance to
hold Liv’s attention. But to what end? It wasn’t as though they’d settle
down in a house with a picket fence and get a dog. How silly of him to
think Liv would be fine staying true to one person—a man at that.
Knox had jumped in headfirst, so he should have expected to end up with
his neck broken. And he only had himself to blame, because no matter how
long he searched his mind, he couldn’t remember one time Liv committed
to being more than friends and having sex.
Once the initial explosion of anger and hurt was over, his mind
swallowed him whole and chewed on him until a dull sensation in his numb
chest was all that was left. He was all out of fire.
As they sprinted past trees and bushes on their way to deal with whatever
shit was happening at the junkyard, a voice at the back of his mind
informed him that he should be stressed, but the worst had already
happened, so he stayed still, looking out of the window while Liv spoke.
“We’ll get back to this. Let’s just see what’s up and survive this night.”
A part of Knox didn’t want to survive it at all, but he wasn’t about to be a
drama queen and say it. Maybe he’d just disappear. Be out of Liv’s hair and
let him live his life without the ball and chain he’d saddled himself with.
“We don’t have to get back to anything.” He crossed his arms on his
chest, actually looking forward to a chance at breaking someone’s nose. “I
hope there’s blood to spill,” he said grimly.
“Yeah, we fucking do,” Liv muttered as the metal gate of the junkyard
loomed ahead. “You will not run from this conversation.”
Watch me, Knox thought, pointing to the left. “Shane’s home is that way,
we can use the next gate, it will be quicker.”
“This one’s closer to the flagpole,” Liv replied and hit the brakes a bit too
fast, stopping in front of the entrance. “Get it open?”
Knox didn’t have to be asked twice to get out of this car steaming with
bad vibes. He jogged over to the gate, entered the code, and waited for Liv
to pass.
He wished he could stay on the other side of the gate and keep walking
into oblivion, but they owed Frank, so he got back in the passenger seat.
Neither of them said a thing as they progressed through the labyrinthine
web of tracks crisscrossing the scrapyard. They couldn’t see any signs of
foul play yet, but this place was vast and full of metal heaps that kept sound
from traveling freely.
 The night was bright enough for them to see the faded animal skin Jag
had mounted on a rusty flagpole even before their headlights revealed Frank
standing in front of it like a monster lurking in the dark.
He urged them to park with a quick gesture, and Liv didn’t waste time.
Knox started talking as soon as he was out. “Sorry, we had a problem
with—”
“Doesn’t matter,” Frank said. “Shane’s been attacked in his home, and
he’s being held there. It’s some buddies of the people we disposed of two
weeks back. But instead of dealing with the MC, the cowards came here.
They think they can get hush money out of us and they’re holding Shane
hostage.”
Knox’s mouth dried as his stomach knotted with worry. He’d only known
Shane and the others for so long, yet the kindness he received from them
made the stakes sky-high.
“What about Ros? Is he okay?” Liv asked, following Frank, who led the
way in the general direction of Shane’s home.
“He’s spending the weekend in Pittsburgh, doing some art thing. We
haven’t told him yet, because he’d just put himself at risk if he came here.”
“And… you want us to storm the house, or something?” Knox asked in a
dull voice. His skull still felt charred from the painful revelations earlier, so
the prospect of becoming a one-person suicide crew did not seem
unappealing at the moment.
Frank frowned at them, approaching his own truck, closer to the house.
“What? No. But we need manpower, eyes on the house. The MC will
handle it. We need to act fast, just in case these fuckers decide to hurt Shane
as they get impatient.” He opened a box in the back of his truck, revealing
several handguns. “We need you on the other side of the house. If any
stragglers try to run, you hold them at gunpoint. If that’s not enough, you
shoot. You know how to use these?”
Knox swallowed, overwhelmed, but this was their life now, and he
extended his hand. “I shot a few times,” because this wasn’t a moment to
play the hero.
Liv nodded, and that seemed to be enough for Frank, who offered them
the guns. “They’re loaded. Now go and hide close to the western side of the
house, you know, where that angel sculpture is. We’ll stay in touch.”
As Frank ran off, speeding toward Shane’s home, Knox followed his
example despite the whirring in his head. Maybe he should be afraid, but
emotions just wouldn’t come.
He moved with Liv as if this was a computer game, not real life.
Instinctively, they stayed low, making their way behind a shed, then a heap
of spare car parts Ros used for his sculptures. The gun got slippery in
Knox’s sweaty hand, but he never forgot what the weight of the metal
meant. He’d witnessed a few shootings at the trailer park over the years, but
never took part in them. A fight with his bare fists had much less chances of
ending up fatal, and at the end of the day, he never intended to kill people,
even if he left them bruised and bloodied.
The insistent barking of the dogs in their kennels masked whatever noise
he and Liv made, but nearing Shane and Ros’s home in the dark was a
nerve-wracking experience due to the many strange modern sculptures
erected in the garden. They proved painfully ineffective as guardians but
their looming figures kept fooling Knox into thinking that one of the tall
shadows might be made of flesh rather than junk.
Still, he managed to rein in his imagination as they skirted past the angel
with wings made of propellers. It was only then that they allowed
themselves to study the unassuming home, which belonged in the suburbs
rather than in the middle of a massive scrapyard.
Knox just hoped this would all be over sooner than it started and they’d
only be glorified lookouts. He was about to ask Liv if he was okay as they
scooted down, awaiting whatever was about to happen, but he couldn’t even
look into Liv’s face, let alone talk to him.
Their little hideout remained a bubble of silence, and Knox was grateful
that the barking was taking the edge off the awkwardness of it.
But no good thing could last.
“I really didn’t know that was what you wanted,” Liv said, as if they were
in their trailer, not waiting for action at a dangerous standoff.
“I don’t want nothing,” Knox barked back as if he were one of the
Rottweilers.
He could sense the way Liv flinched without seeing it happen. For all his
faults, Liv was a good person at heart and never hurt people out of malice.
But his regret and guilt had never once soothed a broken heart.
The blessed silence felt like a blanket on Knox’s shoulders, but Liv once
again tugged at it, shifting closer. “We can’t just not deal with a problem.”
Knox turned to him with a scowl even though his heart skipped a beat at
the sound of motorcycles. “Oh, so now I’m a problem?”
 Shadows obscured Liv’s face, which was for the better, because seeing
the shame in his eyes might have swayed the resolve Knox needed to build
a wall around his heart.
But darkness could not make his voice any softer. “Of course not. But us
avoiding this conversation from the get go is. Can we agree that we had
different expectations and start with a clean slate?”
Knox shook his head and focused on the light in the windows of Shane’s
house. “Yeah, and a clean slate is nothing,” he whispered with his heart in
his throat, about to choke him.
He didn’t expect the gentle hand on his back. It burned hot enough to
brand him forever.
“No. It means we can…... just talk about what we want instead of making
assumptions.”
Knox pulled away at the risk of blowing his cover, because he couldn’t
take this shit. “What you want is pussy, so don’t touch me.”
Silence. Of course. Because how could Liv deny the truth when it was
thrown in his face? Too bad that only lasted so long.
“Like…it’s not news that I like girls. But I like you too.”
“Wow. What a confession. Never saw that one coming,” Knox said,
rolling his eyes.
Liv liked him. Just like he liked putting his dick in Knox. Or an extra
scoop of jam on his toast.
Liv liked him, while Knox’s whole being burned with the need to melt
into Liv, to kiss him, to suffocate him with the intensity of his emotions.
He’d beg and steal for Liv’s gap-toothed smile. He’d set himself on fire to
get Liv’s attention, and he could see he always had.
One time, Liv had used his own T-shirt to soak up the blood dripping
from Knox’s nose, and Knox had kept it instead of giving it back. He’d lied
to himself that he’d done it because it was a cool top.
He’d kept it because it was Liv’s.
And he’d provoked the next fight at school because he’d known Liv
would have his back.
He’d helped Liv dispose of a body, but he would have given Vlad that
same push, were he in Liv’s shoes, because Liv meant everything to him.
Even when he’d stolen Amanda, even when he ate the last slice of fucking
pizza, even when he’d spent their rent money on booze or a new girlfriend.
 But now Knox didn’t know how to move on from the new kind of
relationship they’d developed in the junkyard. Because Liv liked him, and
Knox would probably accept that as enough the next time Liv’s treacherous
fingers traced his nape.
He hated himself for this weakness, but how could he resist scraps of
affection when they came from the only person he’d ever cared for?
“Nothing happened with that girl. Knox… just... will you give me a
chance?” Liv asked as if he didn’t already know the answer the pathetic
creature who was so painfully addicted to his attention would eventually
give.
Knox had heard these words from Liv’s mouth before. The walls in their
trailer had been thin enough to give Knox more insight into Liv’s past
relationships than he would have liked to have. ‘Give me another chance’
was a frequent plea.
But what would this chance be for? A chance to break Knox’s heart when
Liv inevitably chased another skirt?
He hated that Liv would get away with this, and could already see a
future in which he got his heart broken over and over again. Where he got
back home from work to find Liv cheating on him, because Liv wanted
everything and wouldn’t stop until he got it.
He wanted to yell into Liv’s face, tell him how much he hated this
situation, but the words got stuck in his throat, and not just because they
had to stay quiet. What was the point of fighting a battle he already lost?
He’d be under Liv again by midnight.
The gunshots erupting in the house cleared his mind and forced him to
focus on the here and now.
Someone screamed. Another gunshot followed, and Knox’s skin tingled
from the tension in his whole body. A door slammed somewhere.
More screams.
“Fuck,” Liv muttered as they both shifted at the same time. The roar of
Shane’s dogs became even louder, blocking out whatever information they
might have gotten from the noise otherwise, but then, out of nowhere, a
shadow dashed past their hideout, running for its miserable life.
Knox froze, but Liv was already raising the gun. “Stop, or I’ll shoot,” he
yelled at the top of his lungs.
In the faint moonlight, he appeared gray, but Knox could still see the
tense set of his shoulders, his feet braced, as if he expected needing to chase
the fucker.
The guy gave Liv one glance and took his chances, no doubt hoping to
hide in the vast junkyard.
Liv shot, and the man toppled, hit in the leg.
For half a second, Knox was too shocked to do anything and listened to
the guy’s scream as Liv’s arms dropped. He stared at the gun in his hand, as
if he too couldn’t believe what had just happened. But Knox saw movement
a few paces ahead and looked that way in time to see the felled bastard roll
to his back with a pistol of his own.
Knox could hear the bullet whooshing through the air before it happened,
and he threw himself at Liv with a scream on his lips. Losing balance, Liv
grabbed his arm, and the moonlight captured his wide eyes as they both fell.
The world echoed with a loud bang, and Knox lost his breath as his
shoulder turned into stone, numb by the time they both collapsed.
And then, pain erupted in his shoulder, turning the world red.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 27

Liv

PAIN RUSHED DOWN LIV’S thigh as his hip landed on something hard.
But as the single gunshot made his ears ring, and the air filled with the scent
of rust, he knew the blood he could smell wasn’t his.
Knox stiffened in his arms, uttering a single, dull gasp, and Liv rolled
them over without thinking. The gun he was still holding trembled in his
hand when he zeroed in on his target. He’d killed for Knox once already.
Might as well do it again, even though his head pulsed so violently he
barely knew where the ground and where the sky were.
The other man saw him too, but just as he dragged himself into a sitting
position, a dark figure emerged from behind rusty cars. Dressed in tactical
gear, with a bulletproof vest and a mask covering the lower half of his face,
he looked like a character from Counter Strike, not a real person.
The guy shot straight into the back of the fallen man’s head, as if he were
putting down a rabid dog, and it became obvious he was as real as Liv
himself.
He approached them, one red eye glinting at them like a ruby screwed
into his head.
“Was there anyone else?” the man asked in a voice dulled by the mask,
and it took Liv half a second to realize Cyborg had saved their asses now.
“No,” Liv said, holding on to Kn—
 Why the hell was Knox not moving?
Struck by sudden terror, he rose to his knees and looked down, relieved
when the pale eyes opened and closed. But then the sharp glow of a
flashlight went on, illuminating them both, and it was impossible to miss
thick blood soaking through Knox’s clothes.
Liv couldn’t breathe.
“Knox…”
Knox’s eyes met his and he raised his hand, grabbing at Liv’s face, still
dazed. “Are you okay?”
The soft question took him out of his head, and he leaned down, cupping
Knox’s face in both hands as regret poisoned his blood. “Of course I am.
You’re the one who caught the bullet. Why? Why would you do that? You
could have died!”
The light on Cyborg’s shoulder moved as he turned to the side, speaking
on the phone. But all Liv cared for was Knox, and he was too frantic to
gather his thoughts as he watched the tanned skin grow ever paler.
Knox’s breathing quickened. “We both know you’ll live longer. It matters
less if I die.” He gasped, trying to move his shoulder.
The rush of denial inside Liv made him grind his teeth as he shook his
head, blinking away the tingling in his eyes. “No! Don’t you dare say that! I
don’t deserve this,” he whimpered and pulled off his jacket before pushing
it against Knox’s shoulder, hoping it might stop the bleeding.
Knox’s lips trembled when he turned his head to the side. “Is it bad? Am I
gonna…?”
Liv had to stop him from touching the shoulder as Cyborg kneeled by
them. “Let’s get the hoodie off him. I need to see.”
“Of course you’re not. I’m here,” Liv uttered, lowering the zipper of the
hoodie as Cy pulled off his mask and tugged on Knox’s sleeve, exposing a
ripped T-shirt and the pool of blood covering the injured flesh. Nausea
twisted in Liv’s stomach, and he put his hand on Knox’s forehead, staring at
Cy. “Do you… how do we—”
Cyborg shook his head, pulling out a piece of cloth from one of the many
pockets in his pants. “I’ve got experience with gunshot wounds, and I called
the others. Just keep him occupied and lucid until we can get him to
hospital. Fuck. There’s a lot of blood. I need more cloth.”
Knox’s eyes went wide as saucers, and Liv had to grab him because,
despite the injury, he tried to crawl away. “I don’t want to go to the
hospital! Can’t you just… dig it out? I’ve… I’ve got a knife.”
Cyborg frowned. “You’re not making sense.”
For once, Liv agreed with him on something. He pulled off his T-shirt and
handed it to Cy, but he remained focused on Knox, whose features twisted
into a mask of panic.
“Are you crazy? What if we fuck up some nerve in your arm by
accident?” Liv asked, pushing on Knox’s chest to hold him down. Whatever
happened, he would keep Knox alive and take care of him.
The heartbeat against Liv’s palm became even more erratic. “I don’t
know! I don’t wanna go! Liv, please… Don’t let them take me there,” Knox
croaked, clutching at Liv’s naked side with his uninjured hand.
As Cyborg mopped up the blood with Liv’s T-shirt, giving himself a
better view of the ugly wound, Liv noticed Knox trying and failing to close
his fist. Something was very fucking wrong. He would need to make the
call and go against Knox’s wishes.
This wouldn’t have happened if Knox let life take its course. But no, he
chose to be the hero and saved the man who’d proved himself unworthy of
him just an hour back. A man who was a thoughtless, terrible person, and
who always made those around him miserable.
Liv took a deep breath and stroked Knox’s face, locking his gaze on the
blue eyes that always shone so brightly. “You need to. Do it. For me.”
Knox’s shaky sob and the tears spilling down his face sliced Liv’s heart in
half. “Don’t make me… Cy’s dealing with it.” But when he searched
Cyborg’s eyes for confirmation, he only got a grunt in response.
“You’ll need a doctor,” Cyborg said, lifting Knox’s shoulder to wrap a
bandage around it.
Liv wanted to pull Knox into his arms and squeeze him until the pain was
forgotten, but he couldn’t do that without hurting him, and panic buzzed all
over his body.
“It’ll be okay, Knoxie. I’ll be with you. I’ll take care of everything,” he
promised, sliding into the dirt, so he could lie alongside Knox and comfort
him with his warmth. Gravel scraped his bare forearm and side, but it didn’t
matter. Nothing would matter until Knox was safe in a hospital bed.
When he found Knox’s hand, Knox squeezed it as if he never wanted to
let go. Knox depended on him, and that fact hit Liv with full force. The
need to respond, to protect and comfort him was so visceral he found
himself shaking.
 Knox’s breath was ragged, and his face a mess of tears he didn’t try to
hide for once. “Okay, b-but please come with me. Don’t leave me there.”
“I won’t. I will never leave you, do you understand?” he insisted,
pressing his lips to Knox’s forehead and tasting his sweat as several voices
whirred around them. “I’ll always be there.” He didn’t care to look around,
because that would mean taking his eyes off Knox.
Knox sniffed and nodded, and to Liv’s relief, even his heartbeat slowed
down a little. “You won’t let me d-die there? I know it’s pathetic, but—”
“It’s not. I might have died if it wasn’t for you,” Liv insisted, sliding his
arms around Knox’s chest and pressing closer, ready to keep him warm
until someone brought a car over.
Cyborg’s voice was like a saw ripping into their little cocoon. “No one’s
dying, but you lost a lot of blood, we need to get moving.”
Someone tapped the back of Liv’s shoulder. “Let’s get him in the car,”
Frank said. “You two did real well. Shane needs to see a doctor too, but he’s
fine enough.”
Knox turned his eyes to Frank. “I don’t… have money.”
“My uncle’s the doctor where we’re going, you’ll be fine,” Cyborg said,
but when he tried to help Knox up, Knox clutched at Liv, as if the trust Liv
shattered earlier tonight could still be rebuilt.
“See? It’s all gonna be fine. Cy knows people. You don’t have to worry
about a thing,” Liv said, dragging himself up to help Cyborg get Knox to
his feet.

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 Chapter 28

Liv

LIV HAD BROKEN HIS promise to stay at Knox’s side less than an hour
after making it. He insisted. Then begged, but the doctor refused to let him
be there for the surgery. In the end, it was Knox who needed to give him
permission to exit, but leaving him behind, even in the care of people who
knew what they were doing, felt like yet another betrayal.
Seconds felt like minutes as he sat in the waiting area of the local
hospital, with Cy’s jacket draped over his bare skin. Not that he needed it
with raw emotions warring inside him and producing uncomfortable levels
of heat.
He was afraid the surgery might fail.
He was grateful Knox had saved him.
He felt sympathy for Knox’s fear.
But most of all, he was flooded by never-ending guilt over his past
actions.
What did someone as pure-hearted as Knox see in a dumb, impulsive
dude like him? He couldn’t hold a candle to Knox’s attractiveness, honesty,
or loyalty. But Knox always believed in him and even tonight had seen Liv
as his rock.
Watching him fall apart and be so very vulnerable had been a shock.
Knox was a guy with a strong personality and more pride than people in his
position could afford, yet he shook in Liv’s arms, cried, and begged not to
be taken to a doctor.
Liv itched to storm the fucking operating room, to make sure they
weren’t fucking something up, but that would have achieved nothing, so he
stayed put, tormented by the last touch they’d shared.
“How long can it take?” Liv mumbled.
He got up, only to pace the small corridor where he sat with Frank and
Cyborg. He’d found out that Dex and Hammer had also taken part in the
raid on Shane’s house and were now dealing with the bodies. Cy stayed to
talk to his uncle after Knox’s surgery, but Frank… why was he here? As
moral support? Maybe he just didn’t want to leave his car to Liv.
Frank sighed. “They need to check for shattered bones, make sure the
nerves are okay. You have to be patient.”
“But Knox wanted me there with him, and it’s taking too long,” Liv
rasped, massaging his aching throat.
“It needs to take as long as it needs to. This is not helping him. Calm the
fuck down,” Cy said in a cool voice, seeming a bit less like an actual cyborg
now that he’d dropped the mask and the bulletproof vest and sat there in a
tight black long-sleeve.
With air burning in his chest, Liv stepped closer. “I will calm down when
I see with my own eyes that he’s fine!”
Frank got up and approached the vending machine. “I’ve seen bullet
wounds, and recovery is a bitch, but he’ll be okay. You can go downstairs
and donate blood if it gives you a sense of purpose. It could help pass the
time.”
Liv’s fists burned, but despite the impulse to be a monkey attacking a
gorilla just because he felt bad, he knew Frank wasn’t at fault for any of
this.
“You don’t fucking get it. He literally stepped in front of me to take that
bullet.”
Even Cyborg didn’t have a snarky comment, and the only sound
following his words came from the vending machine.
Frank went back to his seat and pushed a Twix into Liv’s hand. “Eat
something.”
But when Liv glanced at the chocolate treat, all he could think of was that
there were two pieces to a Twix. They were only a Twix together. Like him
and Knox. That somehow spiraled into him not wanting to eat one at a time.
He’d just have to bite into both at once.
Tears came out of nowhere, and he turned away from Frank, mumbling
thanks as he discreetly wiped his face and then opened the wrapper before
digging in as he stared at a poster informing about symptoms of sepsis. The
sweetness did help, but the only thing that would truly calm him would be
holding Knox’s hand and making sure he was comfortable.
The steps of someone approaching the door almost made him choke on
the last bite of the Twix. When the doctor stepped out with a frown on his
face, Liv’s heart galloped and knocked at his breastbone.
“Jesus Christ, that took for fucking ever,” the doctor said, rubbing his
wrinkly forehead and glancing to his nephew.
It seemed people who were here off-the-books didn’t get the courtesy of
politeness. But it didn’t matter.
Liv dropped the wrapper onto the seat and rose. “How is he?”
The surgeon burned him with the gaze of his pale eyes. “Better than he
might have been if he hadn’t spoken up literally moments before we
started.”
Liv’s cheeks cooled as he closed Cy’s jacket around him. Even his gums
were pulsing from all this stress. “What?”
“The patient has serious heart issues. I should have known this way
beforehand, not seconds before we put him under. It could have ended
badly.”
Oh fuck. Oh God.
Liv licked his lips. “I didn’t know it mattered, since it was his should—”
The surgeon continued, not caring for his explanation anymore. “At this
rate, his state will gradually worsen anyway. He should have had surgery
long ago. Ideally, as a child.”
The ground started crumbling under Liv’s feet as the edges of his vision
blurred. “‘Surgery’?”
The doctor squinted at him as if this was Liv’s fault. “Yes. If he died on
my table tonight because of a bad reaction to the anesthesia, it wouldn’t
have been my fault!” He looked at Cyborg with a snarl. “You need to get
smarter prospects. This one told me he knew about the need for surgery but
said that he ‘doesn’t have plans’ of going through with it.”
Cy took a deep breath, as if trying to calm down before he approached his
uncle. “Let’s talk business in your office.”
 As rude as the surgeon was, he had saved Knox, so Liv shook off the
discomfort of having to deal with him and headed straight for the door.
The doctor stopped him, clicking his tongue as if Liv were an unruly
horse. “No. The nurse is preparing him in the post-op room. She will come
and get you. Don’t disturb her.”
Liv wrapped his arms on his chest, trying to take deep breaths. He had to
fight the urge to storm into the room so he could be there, like he’d
promised Knox.
The doctor mumbled something Liv couldn’t hear anymore and rushed
down the corridor, closely followed by Cyborg who towered over his uncle
like a bodyguard over some short celebrity.
The screech of their shoes on the polished floor soon died down, and Liv
was once again stuck with Frank watching him like a parent might a child.
Dark thoughts formed a dense cloud around his head, but he fought
through it and turned around. “I can’t fucking believe it. He told me he just
needs the pills.”
Knox’s words from earlier now rattled in Liv’s head ominously.
We both know you’ll live longer.
Was he planning to just never tell Liv about his issue? How dare he
ignore something this serious?
Frank hung his head. “Don’t make that the first thing he hears once he
wakes up.”
“Why the hell not? It’s insane to ignore something like this,” Liv raged
and entwined his fingers on his nape as he started pacing. He needed to see
Knox and talk some sense into him. Right. The fuck. Now.
“You don’t know the reason. And you shouldn’t agitate him right out of
surgery if he has a weak heart.”
Fucking Frank and his reasonable arguments when all Liv wanted to do
was smash that vending machine, then go yell at Knox for ignoring health
advice.
He wanted to raise his voice. To kick the machine until it broke, but when
his gaze met Frank’s calm gaze, anger slowly simmered down. “He should
have told me,” he muttered, thinking back to their pristine Subaru Impreza.
They’d packed so much money into that car. And then, Liv himself wasted
so much on dates and gifts for his many girlfriends. Even if all of that cash
couldn’t have paid for the surgery Knox needed, it would have been a start.
 “His parents… they must have chosen not to go through with it,” Liv
muttered, dropping into the seat next to Frank’s.
"He probably didn't want to worry you. All you can do is show him that
you’re capable of shouldering the burden." Frank patted his back, and
strangely enough, that small gesture took away a bit of Liv’s pain. He was
glad he didn’t have to sit here alone, but the support did nothing to relieve
the guilt and anguish burning deep inside him.
Knox had been living with this problem since childhood, working
overtime to pay for his meds while Liv’s only issue was the lack of cash for
new car upholstery and booze.
“Maybe he didn’t trust me enough.”
Even saying that out loud hurt.
“He trusted you enough to get rid of a body with you,” Frank said quietly.
And then, Liv took Knox’s trust, played around with it, and threw it in his
face. The empty corridor seemed to stretch on either side of them just like
the time remaining until he could see Knox, and the inability to do anything
about it was yet another reminder of his failures.
“I did something terrible.”
Frank stiffened and watched Liv like a hawk. “What did you do? Be
honest with me. I can’t help you fix shit if you don’t tell me the truth.”
“You’ll fucking show us both the door,” Liv muttered, swallowing as he
glanced Frank’s way. “We lied. When we came over, we weren’t a couple.”
Frank‘s frown deepened. “What? I knew something was off that first
night.”
“But we are now,” Liv continued before Frank could have broken his eye
socket with a single punch. “And I messed everything up by being an
inconsiderate dick. He should have just let that bastard shoot me,” he
admitted, frowning at the way his voice broke when he remembered the
look on Knox’s face in that secondhand store.
Liv didn’t deserve his affection, or even his friendship, yet he wanted it
anyway. So fucking badly.
Like he’d never wanted anything else in the world.
Frank hid his face in his hand. “What is this drama?”
“You ever flirted with someone without thinking while you were out with
Ezra?” Liv asked and pulled up the sleeve of Cy’s jacket to show him the
phone number written on his skin.
 Frank scowled, then slapped the back of his head without much force.
“Jesus Christ, Liv. Get a grip. I would have kicked your ass if I was your
boyfriend.”
Boyfriend. Liv had denied even that to Knox, and now it was all he
wanted, all he needed. Every time he thought back to Knox’s body losing
blood all too fast and trembling against him, his heart filled with a desperate
need to make sure Knox was always happy and healthy. To take care of
him. The way a boyfriend would. But would Knox ever want him again?
He wouldn’t have.
“Fuck. I’m such a dick. I just… I didn’t even know it was this serious for
him. And now I’m stuck here in… fucking agony, because the future feels
too vague when I can’t hold on to his hand. What the hell is wrong with
me?”
“Why would you even go off flirting with some random dude when
you’re on a date with your smoking-hot boyfriend who clearly cares about
you enough to take a bullet for you?” Frank didn’t mince words, but Liv
probably needed to hear that out loud.
“It was a girl,” Liv mumbled in a small voice, not daring to look at Frank
as the words left his mouth. “She was just there. She liked me. I wanted to
check if I hadn’t… lost my charm, I guess.”
Frank cleared his throat. “Would you rather be with girls? Because if you
do, you better come clean to him about it. It’s gonna fuck him up if you lead
him on.”
This was happening way too fast. Liv and Knox had only gotten together
less than three weeks ago. But while his first thought was that this was too
little time to make such a life-changing decision, something primal inside
him already knew the answer. Maybe had known it a long time ago. Or
maybe seeing Knox begging for him to be there, squeezing his hand had
been what made it so obvious.
Liv met Frank’s gaze and shook his head. “You know, it’s funny. I had so
many girlfriends and hookups I couldn’t tell you the number, but not a
single one made me feel this way. I never wanted to move in with one.
Never wanted to plan my life with one. I always knew I wanted to be with
Knox, even when I didn’t think we could be together… this way.
“I’d lose interest if a girlfriend wanted too much from me. Knox? I’d
bend over backwards for him. Nothing is too much of a chore if it’s what he
needs. I’d give him the shirt off my back and say I was too hot anyway.
Hell, I gave him mine today.” He patted his chest through Cy’s jacket,
reminded of the blood soaking into fabric, of Knox’s sob, of the tears Knox
always hid from him the same way he hid his illness. Just like he hid away
to cry after their first time together. He was like a cat pretending he wasn’t
injured as it desperately looked for shelter to lick its wounds.
Liv wanted to be that place. To make Knox understand that he was safe at
his side.
Frank exhaled, his severe features relaxed as he watched the wall,
mulling over Liv’s disjointed confession that nevertheless felt so good.
“Sounds like you really care for him,” Frank said, shrugging. “But what
that means? You need to decide for yourself. I don’t know your heart.”
Liv scowled but gave Frank’s forearm a brief squeeze, more grateful than
he could have imagined. “I’ll make things right.”
Frank raised his eyebrows and pointed to Liv’s arm. “Maybe start with
washing off that number.”
“Fuck,” Liv mumbled and spat on his hand before rubbing the saliva into
the row of numbers.
He’d be the best fucking boyfriend. And maybe it was weird to be that for
another man, and he needed to adjust things in his mind, but that was what
he wanted. To make Knox smile, to take care of him, and make him cum
five times a day. He’d never felt this way. Like a dog desperate to please.
Not just for a treat but to make his master happy.
Even thinking of Knox’s pretty blue eyes and the soft, submissive way he
melted into a kiss made Liv’s heart all gooey, like that time he’d gotten
Mrs. Marshall a heart-shaped cupcake for Valentine’s Day.
She was his teacher.
It was inappropriate.
But his heart and dick hadn’t been willing to acknowledge it.
Liv wanted what he wanted. And he wanted Knox. He wanted him
sweetly and he wanted him moaning filthy words. He wanted both the
pancakes and the cum.
Maybe not together.
Maybe together!
The soft thud of shoes on tiles made him look up just in time to spot a
nurse heading their way.
“Mr. Macy has woken up now. He’s asking for… Mr. Liver?”
“That’s me. Me. Where? Where do I go?” Liv asked, jumping to his feet.
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 29

Knox

THE HOSTILE WALLS LOOMED around him like a gang of thugs about
to attack the moment Knox let his guard down, but he had no will to fight
left in him. Drained. Pumped out. Even the sterile smell of the hospital was
exhausting. And yet, he still breathed despite feeling so dead inside. The
heart monitor was there to remind him that his heart hadn’t in fact stopped
as a result of being broken, but he still felt as if it was only hanging on by a
thread.
At least Liv was safe.
They’d have to talk sooner or later, that much was obvious. In a moment
of such vulnerability, when he ached, when his mouth was parched, and he
felt so fragile in a hospital bed, he wanted Liv close. Liv was his safety net,
and it didn’t matter that he could never feel about Knox the way Knox felt
about him. Back at the junkyard, and then on the way here, Liv had been his
rock and had held him throughout.
Some days it seemed that it was his presence that somehow still kept
Knox tethered to the world of the living, so maybe he should be grateful
rather than resentful. He wasn’t ignorant to the fact that most people didn’t
even have that. Who was he to demand more than care, respect, and
friendship?
 He held his breath when the door opened and Liv stepped in, because
before the shooting, they hadn’t ended things on a good note. The reality
about to crash into him was more dreadful than another bullet.
His mind was still a bit hazy after going under, but everything came to
focus around Liv’s face. His concerned expression, the flush on his cheeks,
the bags under his eyes, all made Knox guilty over needing as much
treatment and care as he did.
His… friend stalled by the door, his face tense as different emotions
passed over it in a rapid sequence. In the end, the usual, easy smile won,
and he approached a cupboard topped by a pitcher of water.
“You gotta work on your tan. Looking way too pale tonight,” Liv said,
pouring some water into a glass.
Knox snorted, reaching out with his healthy arm. “I was thinking about
taking up surfing when I get out. That would help. Just no ocean around
here.”
“That’s no problem. You can just trash-surf at the junkyard.” Liv handed
him the water and pulled a wooden stool close to the bed. The smile
remained in place, but Knox knew him too well to miss the discomfort
hiding underneath.
“That would be kinda cool actually. The piles are much taller farther on
the north side of the junkyard. You think they’ll have snow here this winter
and we could ski down them?” He gulped down some of the water. This
was good. Clean talk. No need to mention heartbreak or disappointment. He
just wanted to have Liv by his side for now, and the future would… happen
eventually.
Maybe what happened tonight was the push he needed to understand that
he had to lower his expectations?
Liv sat with his legs comfortably spread and spun on the stool. “I’ll set
everything up for you, and we’ll see about skiing when you’re better.”
“Recovery’s gonna be a bitch, but at least I’ll be able to leave in a few
hours,” Knox groaned when putting away the glass made him pull on the
injured shoulder. He’d have to get used to it, since the nurse had warned
him to take it easy for a month.
Liv stilled, and Knox was about to break the uncomfortable silence when
he finally spoke, “Maybe you should stay a bit longer? You know, because
of your heart?”
 Knox fell back to the pillow with a long sigh. “It’s fine, nothing new
happened. It’s the shoulder that hurts like a motherfucker.”
“Nothing new,” Liv muttered and kneaded his thigh as his gaze wandered
off Knox’s face. “I guess. But you have to take better care of yourself.
Maybe I should just work more while you heal.”
“Give me three days, and I’ll be pulling my weight. We could take the
jacket back to the store.” It was silly that he got talked into buying it in the
first place, just because it looked cool. What a vain thing to do.
“You are not returning the jacket,” Liv snapped, bristling like a guard
dog. “I got it for you so you’re warm and comfortable, and that’s final.”
Knox rolled his eyes. “Fine. At least I didn’t get blood all over it. Ezra
would have lost his shit, because I’d have to ask him how to get it out.
Remember how you cut your leg running away from some woman’s
husband, and then you just said ‘fuck it’ and threw the jeans away?”
Liv’s eyes narrowed. “Yeah. I should have been more frugal. Saved up
some money. You know, for things that are important.”
Knox shrugged. “Our Subaru is at the bottom of a reservoir anyway. But
then again, if we both saved up more, maybe we could have left California
sooner, and never gotten in trouble.”
“It’s not about the car. What I’m trying to say is that I should have taken
better care of you, and helped you buy your meds instead of just spending
everything I had right away.”
“My meds are not your responsibility.” The last thing Knox wanted was
to add to Liv’s own burdens.
“Well, they should be. It’s about what you need versus what I wanted,”
Liv said, leaning forward to look deep into Knox’s eyes. So deep in fact it
almost felt intrusive.
“I was managing,” Knox insisted. “It’s just all harder now, but we’ve got
each other’s backs. Took a bullet for you tonight, so you can do my laundry
for a month.” He smiled to hide his nerves. Maybe they’d just never speak
about what happened between them, forget about it, and things would be
fine.
Liv was getting red in the face by the time Knox stopped talking, but
once silence settled in the room, his warm brown eyes met Knox’s. “The
doctor told me you need surgery.”
Knox never wanted Liv to treat him like some precious piece of porcelain
that could crack at the tiniest push. Being here, in a hospital bed only made
him feel weak and useless. And he couldn’t fix it with enough willpower.
Something inside him was broken, and he didn’t have any control over it.
“He’s overreacting. I’m clearly fine. Other than the shoulder.”
“You’re not. Fucking. Fine, Knox,” Liv growled, twisting his lips. “Just
admit it. I want to help. I would have tried to long ago if I knew!”
Knox swallowed, wishing he could hide from this conversation, but he
was a cornered rat, and standing up would have probably been an issue
now, let alone running.
So he did what a cornered animal would and lashed out.
“I have a fucked up heart, okay? I can’t afford the surgery and neither can
you! I won’t have you wasting your life on paying for something that isn’t
even your problem!”
“But it is!” Liv said, rising from the stool so fast it dropped to the floor,
clattering loudly. “You’re my family. My real family, who’s actually there
for me, and no matter how hard you push me away, I will always stay!”
Knox’s heart ached at Liv’s words. It was almost too much emotion. He
couldn’t take it. And to make that painfully clear to both of them, the heart
monitor sped up its beeping.
Knox bit the inside of his cheek, but even when he felt the tang of blood,
tears still spilled down his cheeks. He was such a fucking crybaby. And
over what?
“I don’t want to…” he sobbed, “be a burden to you.”
Silence. And then, Liv’s hip pushed against his, and warm arms scooped
him close, monitoring cables and all.
It felt so overwhelming, yet he leaned close without thinking and put his
head on Liv’s shoulder, seeking the comfort he didn’t deserve.
“Knox, you are not a burden,” Liv whispered into his hair, his voice soft
yet so reassuring, so steady. “You are everything to me. How do you not see
it?”
“Because I’m not.” And yet he still leaned into the hug, despite the pain
in his shoulder, and despite knowing he shouldn’t. “You need things I can’t
give you. You need a girl. And you’ll make some babies, and I’ll just be the
fun uncle, and that’s okay.”
Liv shuddered. “Babies? Eww, when did I ever say I want babies? I
already have you to take care of,” he said with a faint laugh.
Knox snorted despite his tears. “Dumbass. You know what I mean. You
like girls. A lot. You always did. And maybe what we had was fun for you,
but it won’t be enough, and we both know it.” Even if saying it out loud
was so painful he was surprised his voice didn’t crack.
“No it wasn’t. It wasn’t just a bit of fun. I know I fucked up earlier, but I
really fucking like you,” Liv whispered, tightening his hold around Knox as
if he were afraid he’d run. Maybe he knew Knox better than Knox knew
himself.
“What are you trying to say?”
Liv’s inhale was laborious, but he remained at Knox’s side and kissed the
top of his head. “That I am full of shit. That I don’t think about stuff
sometimes. That I act and only then say sorry. But don’t you ever think
you’re not enough. Because today, waiting for you to wake up, I was
thinking a whole lot, and yeah, I like girls. But I like you more. More than
any girl. More than anyone.”
Knox dared look up into Liv’s eyes as his heart started to race again at the
possibility of Liv wanting him for real. “Even though I’m a snivelling
crybaby who punched you?”
Liv’s laugh sounded almost sad. “After what I’ve done, I’ll take any
attention I can get. I just want you with me, always. All the time.”
Knox’s insides warmed into a goo made of feelings so sweet they could
give him teeth decay. Even his shoulder hurt less. “And you said you
thought that through? You sure? Because if it wasn’t obvious, you’re
everything I want.”
Liv shivered and peeled himself away so they could look at one another
while the heart monitor counted time in a measure only it understood. He
took a deep breath as his hands found Knox, and his brown eyes lured Knox
in, full of sweetness and promise. “Remember when you told me you were
thinking about moving in with Amanda?”
It felt like so long ago, for a moment Knox wasn’t sure if he’d ever said
that. “Stupid idea,” he said and stroked Liv’s jaw.
“It was,” Liv muttered and pressed Knox’s hand to his face as his nostrils
flared, seeking Knox’s scent. “But you were serious. I thought she’d take
you away from me. That’s why I—”
As hurtful as it had been at the time, Knox sighed, because they both did
misguided shit at times. “Let’s just accept we’re both sometimes real
dumb.” He kissed Liv on the lips, relieved that he could do it after all.
Liv pressed closer, clutching the hospital gown like a man desperate for
touch after years of solitude, but he soon pulled away, shaking his head.
“Are you sure? I did a fucked up thing earlier. Maybe you need… time, or
something.”
Knox shook his head. “What’s the point? I’ll always come to the same
conclusion. I need you.”
Liv chuckled but lowered his gaze and pushed his forehead against
Knox’s, taking hurried, shallow breaths. “I need you too, so don’t fucking
keep secrets from me. Especially such major ones. We will somehow get
the surgery done, and then you’ll feel better. You’ll live longer. With me.”
While Knox understood the meaning behind Liv’s words, everything
inside him recoiled. And not just because he didn’t think the money
required was achievable. The very idea of an operation on his heart made
his stomach clench with panic.
“I… I just… I don’t wanna. I want to go on as usual. Take my meds. It’s
been fine, right?”
Liv was frighteningly quiet, and the muscles of his jaw twitched over and
over as he looked away. “Fine? The doc said you are not fine. Why are you
saying no? Why did you hide it?”
“I don’t know, I… if I don’t think about it, it feels like it’s not there, and
then I don’t have to deal with being like this.” With a sigh, he slid his hand
under Liv’s jacket, running his cold fingers over the warm skin.
“But you do. You don’t get to hide from this anymore,” Liv mumbled,
pulling away from the touch. As he squared his shoulders, watching Knox
from above, panic was like needles pushing under Knox’s fingernails.
Knox had to take several deep breaths, but Liv was the one person he
wouldn’t push over this. “I’m scared, okay? I’m afraid things will go
wrong, and I’ll literally die. I don’t want to face it. Nothing good ever
happened to me in hospitals.”
Liv’s breath sounded strangled when he spoke. “I know. And I’m scared
too. I lost my fucking shit when the doc told me you might not have long if
you don’t deal with this. And I can’t have that. I can’t lose you. I won’t see
you suffer when I know it can be helped.”
The reality of having to face the issue head on crashed into Knox at
lightning speed, and he couldn’t make himself meet Liv’s eyes. It was too
hard. Everything was too overwhelming.
“We’ll deal with it when we get a clearer picture of our situation. Frank
was gonna get us new IDs. Maybe the cops will give up on the search.
That’s what’s important now.”
 “No!” Liv raised his voice and grabbed Knox, shaking him, as if he’d
already forgotten about the injured shoulder. “There’s nothing more
important. I’d do anything for you to be better. Anything. I’d even give you
my own heart if I could. Just so you can be fine again, even if it’s without
me,” he whimpered, and just as Knox was about to cry again out of
helplessness, Liv got up and stepped farther from the bed, turning away
with fingers digging into his nape.
Knox couldn’t remember ever seeing him like this. Not when Liv’s dad
had almost overdosed, and not when his mom had gotten together with an
abusive boyfriend whom Liv swore to end. In this moment, Knox had no
doubt he’d go through whatever operation he needed to get. Just to never
see Liv in so much distress.
He reached out as far as he could from the bed, slipped a finger into Liv’s
back pocket and pulled. “Okay,” he said quietly.
But Liv wouldn’t turn back, standing there with his arms crossed on his
chest and breathing heavily. “Good,” he mumbled.
Knox clenched his teeth because even sitting up hurt, but fuck it. He got
up at the pace of a snail, and despite the cables pulling at him, he took the
three steps needed to hug Liv from behind. He’d never imagined his
condition would affect Liv this way, but of course it would. Liv cared about
him. Liv had killed for him.
Knox put his cheek on the black bomber jacket that definitely wasn’t
Liv’s and held him with one arm.
Liv shivered, making a sound painfully akin to a sob and rubbed his face.
“I’m sorry. It’s just that when I think about something happening to you,
everything falls apart. But I’ll deal with everything. I’ll take care of you,”
he promised, finally turning to face Knox.
“You’re my rock, Liv. Nothing could make you crumble.” Knox rested
his weight against Liv, putting his head on Liv’s shoulder. “And I’ll need
you if I’m to go through this.”
Guiding him back to the bed, Liv made Knox sit down and stood between
his spread thighs but fell right back into the embrace, sniffing Knox’s neck.
“I will be with you every step of the way. No need to be so afraid. Lots of
people have all sorts of surgeries. We’ll find out what’s necessary and get
through this.”
Knox swallowed, relieved by Liv’s closeness. “Thank you. I… Since I
was a kid, my parents always made me feel bad about going to the hospital.
My mom didn’t like to drive me to appointments, said it was a waste of her
time. Then my dad decided the issue was overblown, that meds would be
enough. That if I just trained a lot and got stronger, my heart would get
better. So I stopped talking to him about it, because if my heart was weak…
I was weak. And I’m not.”
Liv growled and kissed Knox’s forehead. God, it felt like being blessed
by the heavens. Even the prospect of going through with something as scary
as heart surgery seemed insignificant in the face of Liv’s care. “I hope
someone shanks the bastard to death and we hear no more of him,” he
mumbled, tightening his arms around Knox’s midsection. “You are so
strong, such a fighter. But right now, you’re ill, so you let me take care of
you. You know, as your boyfriend.”
Knox had to look away, overwhelmed by the flutter in his stomach. “It’s
just for now with the shoulder. I can take care of myself for the most part.
You shouldn’t have to—”
“No,” Liv said and cupped Knox’s face to hold his gaze. “I should. From
now on, I am your boyfriend, and it’s my job to make sure you're fine. Let
me do this for you. Please. It’s what boyfriends do for each other. Nice
shit.”
Knox licked his lips and smiled. This was for real. Liv wanted to be his.
A voice at the back of his head asked: ‘What are you contributing? What
are you giving him?’ but for once he let himself take.
“You do seem very set on this.”
Finally, one of those smiles he so loved appeared on Liv’s face. “I am. I
want you, with all the baggage, because it doesn’t change the way I feel. I
want to carry it for you. It gives me purpose, makes me feel useful, like I
can lift mountains. And I’ll make sure you get that surgery. It’s gonna be my
mission now. My race. And you, healed, my finish line. Speaking of which,
I’ve been thinking about that race they’re having at the MC compound.
Might bring a nice chunk of cash.”
“Worth looking into.”
Races always came with risk, but Liv had taken part in many before.
Suddenly the surgery didn’t feel unachievable. With Liv behind the steering
wheel, anything was possible.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 30

Liv

EZRA’S COCOA HAD NEVER smelled as rich and sweet as when it

celebrated Knox’s return from the hospital. Liv had held him under his arm
the whole way back, and wouldn’t stop even as they sat by the table, fussed
over by a man who not that long ago didn’t feel comfortable in their
presence.
“There you go. The magnesium will be really good for recovery,” Ezra
said, as if all this wasn’t about treating them to something nice. Either way,
Liv would take it, and judging by how fast Knox grabbed the mug with his
good hand, so would he.
“See? More of that, and you’ll be good as new,” Liv said, rubbing his
face in Knox’s hair. He was still overwhelmed by everything that had
happened in the past twenty-four hours, but having Knox back home, with
the promise of a future was good enough for now. A part of him did not
want to think about how he’d make that future happen, but he’d get there in
the end, because tonight all that mattered was his man’s comfort.
It was such a strange thing to think.
My man.
My Knox.
My blue-eyed boyfriend.
 He was almost afraid to voice those things yet at the same time longed to
feel them pass his lips. For now, he settled on silence and placed his hand
on Knox’s chest to remind himself that his heart still beat. That he wasn’t
gone.
Liv would make sure he stayed that way for a long time.
Frank emerged from the corridor with something in his hand, but before
Liv could try guessing what it was, Frank handed Liv an ID.
“These are brand new so don’t ruin them,” he warned as if he felt he had
to be stern about a gift. “I would have charged you, but I think you earned
them yesterday.”
Liv looked down, curious of his new photo, but was caught off guard by
something else. His name.
River Miller.
Confusion picked at his brain as he looked up to meet Frank’s gaze, but
the other man seemed ready for the question in his eyes and spoke.
“Liver is a bit of a giveaway, isn’t it? Went with that one, because you
said that was how you were meant to be called, originally?”
“You mean before my dad got too fucked up on drugs and alcohol to do
the right thing? Yeah,” Liv said, trying to keep his voice light, even though
the sole fact that Frank remembered that about him after just one
conversation had him choking up a bit. People did pay attention to him, but
they usually ignored all the important bits.
“Precisely,” Frank said and settled with a mug of cocoa of his own.
A pleasant tension overcame Liv’s chest, so he distracted himself by
kissing Knox’s cheek. Oh, it was so warm and fragrant despite the recent
hospital stay. To be fair, it always was. Even when Knox was sweaty and
tired out, Liver wouldn’t say no to a cuddle.
Knox laughed and pushed on Liv’s shoulder. “Frank’s solving all your
daddy issues.”
Frank squinted at him. “Watch it.”
“Okay, okay, I’m just thinking about the important questions. Like, do I
call him ‘Riv’ now? Is my liver tattoo even still valid?”
Liv rolled his eyes. “We don’t have to change what we do. It’s not like
the police are gonna bug us to make sure you use the right name.” But when
Knox’s gaze captured his attention, bright and lively like a wild creek, a
different idea bloomed in his mind. He rubbed Knox’s breastbone. It was so
good to see him smiling again. “You could add to the one you have, so
there’s a river flowing around the liver or… something.”
Knox held his gaze, making Liv’s heart skip a beat. Yeah, they’d been
fucking for barely two weeks, but he could already see the kind of
relationship they could build together in the long term. Because the
attraction he now felt so clearly wasn’t just about the pretty blue eyes, easy
smiles, or the enticing curve of Knox’s back. He had this eagerness to lean
in, to let Liv lose himself in him, and was a warm and comfortable presence
after years of friendship. Knox was perfect for him, and Liv had been so
blind to it.
“I will. After the surgery.” Knox gave Liv a little kiss, as if he knew this
topic was hard to swallow and he needed to soften the blow somehow. He
turned back to Frank after having another gulp of cocoa. “And mine?”
Frank handed him the card. “Thought it’d be good to keep the initial, so
we went with Colin.”
“There’s no K in—” Knox stared down at his new ID, his face turning
into stone. “My name is Kolin?! With a ‘K’? Is this a fucking joke?”
Ezra snorted, hiding behind his mug as he leaned against Frank. “Beggars
shouldn’t be choosers.”
“Someone got the short end of the stick,” Liv said with a wide grin, and
when Knox tried to get up, he held him in place. “Come on, this makes it
realistic. Just tell people your mom wanted an unusual spelling, and they’ll
swallow the K right up.”
Knox shook his head, looking cute even now, with that frown on his face.
“If you ever call me ‘Kolin’ in bed, you’re fucking dead.”
Liv couldn’t help but stall, admiring the beauty of blue embers dancing in
Knox’s eyes. He was gorgeous even when angry. “Kolin,” he said in the
most seductive tone he could muster but made sure the first letter stood out,
hard and spoken from the very back of his throat.
“Stop it!” Knox whined. “It’s not hot. It’s like I should wear glasses and
read books for fun.”
“It is so hot. From now on, whenever I go down on you, I want you to
repeat that new name with a hard K,” Liver mused, kissing Knox’s ear as
the pull to touch him became near impossible to resist. The loud sound of
Ezra clearing his throat made him back away.
“It’s just a name. And books are fun,” Ezra said.
 Frank got up. “Let’s go, boys, I’ve got work to do, and I still need to
show you something.”
Knox gulped down his drink. “I can help if it’s, like, driving. I can
manage with one arm.”
“No, you can’t. The doctor said you need to rest,” Liv told him right
away, shooting to his feet. Knox wouldn’t drop dead from driving a car, but
then he’d want to do more, and they’d already agreed that Knox would take
it easy and let Liv take care of him for the time being.
Liv was not backing down from that.
Frank narrowed his eyes. “No. Just think of it as sick leave.”
“Thank you,” Liv said and entwined his fingers with Knox’s.
“I’m not some dainty flower,” Knox grumbled, but squeezed Liv’s hand
back.
Ezra frowned and grabbed a canvas bag from the countertop. “No, you’re
a man who cracked his collarbone taking a bullet, so take the time off and
don’t complain. Most people would be glad for the time off, so be a good
boy and don’t fuck up your recovery.”
Scolded, Knox lowered his gaze but stopped arguing, even though the
twist of his lips told Liv how he felt about all this. Oh well, there were
many ways to improve his mood, and Liv was certain he knew them all.
He’d have to juggle taking care of his new boyfriend and earning money
for them both, but he’d manage. He always did.
Ezra passed Liv the bag. “Here’s a few meals you can just pop in the
microwave. The stew is bone broth-based, so it will be good for healing. I
also stocked your fridge with a few things.”
Knox looked up with his lips parted. “Oh, wow. Thanks. That’s… so
nice.”
“Have I ever been anything but nice?” Ezra asked, and while the obvious
answer was yes, Liv held his mouth shut and rubbed Knox’s back as he
accepted the food.
“You are the best… cook.”
Ezra’s gaze settled on him, heavy like a hammer to punish him for being
a smartass, but he didn’t bother to say anything and just shushed them
away.
Liv knew why Knox had found it hard to choose the right words. Both of
them had spent most of their lives having to fend for themselves and even
helping their parents with things no child should. And sure, girlfriends
would occasionally treat them to a home-cooked meal, but they never got
these kind of treats, packed lunches, or their fridge stocked for free.
Ezra would have killed Liv if he said it out loud, but it was a very mom-
like thing to do. Almost as if Ezra was the kind of mother figure neither of
them ever had. A part of Liv didn’t think they deserved being treated with
such kindness, but he was smart enough not to let it show and acted as if
they both needed a bit of fussing over.
“Make sure to do everything the doctor told you, or it will all be for
nothing,” Frank said as he reached their trailer and rolled out of the seat
with a suitcase in hand. By the time Liv and Knox both left the vehicle,
Frank had rested the open suitcase in the truck bed. Liv’s blood went a bit
colder when he spotted two guns and a selection of ammo, but Frank spoke
before he could have voiced any of his apprehension.
“Ideally, you won’t need those, but I think at this point it’s quite obvious
they may come in handy. We’ll do some training. Liv, starting tomorrow,
Knox once his shoulder’s better.”
Knox stepped closer, a bit too interested in the guns for Liv’s liking.
“Like, you’ll do target practice with us?”
“Yep. It’s a skill worth having, even if you don’t use it much. You have to
be able to feel confident with a gun to protect yourself or others.”
When Liv thought back to shooting that guy in the leg, he remembered
being nervous, but a single glance at Knox told Liv he’d do anything to
protect that blond head. Sure, Knox could take care of himself. Despite
being smaller, he was the more proficient fighter, but Liv would never let
him fight alone.
By the time he and Knox left the vehicle in front of their own home,
questions about the work he’d need to do that day pushed at the back of his
mouth, but he chose to not voice them, and Frank left without mentioning
any jobs either.
It was so damn weird.
This guy was a career criminal, and while it made sense that he took care
of his life partner and friends, Liv and Knox were strangers. Frank had
known them for less than a month, yet instead of using their situation
against them, he left Liv to take care of Knox and decompress. Granted,
that state of affairs would end by tomorrow, but it was still more leeway
than Liv had gotten from any other employer.
 “So that was… generous,” he muttered, embracing Knox from behind
and burying his face in his wavy hair. It was already a bit longer than Knox
usually wore it, and Liv rather liked the new look.
“That’s how you build gang loyalty,” Knox laughed.
“And where does that leave us?” Liv asked, gently pushing Knox
forward, until he had him sandwiched between his own body and the trailer.
Warmth radiated from the tanned nape, and Liv moved his nose lower to
nuzzle it while the breeze swished between the mounds of scrap.
Knox flexed his back. “As hot gangsters—”
Air got trapped in Liv’s throat when someone slinked out from behind the
trailer, and they both raised their new guns.
But it was only Jag, who frowned at them in disbelief. “I’m not an
enemy.”
Dressed in worn boots and a hooded coat made of thick fur, he raised his
hand, showing off two dead rabbits, like some trapper from the Old West,
who’d somehow, arrived at the junkyard from the past.
Liv frowned and lowered his weapon as his hand wandered across Knox’s
back. “Why were you creeping around?” he asked, unsure what to make of
the dead animals dangled in front of him.
Jag came closer, presenting the rabbits. “I heard you have nothing, so I
thought I’d bring these for you.”
Liv cleared his throat, unhappy with being seen as lacking when he was
perfectly capable of taking care of Knox. “I wouldn’t exactly say
‘nothing’.”
“Well, the winters can get cold here. The rabbits not only feed you but
can be a good source of fur—”
“What?” Knox stared at the weirdo as if he grew a second head but
calmly put away the new gun.
Liv smirked. “For your rabbit fur briefs, Knoxie. Just think how soft
they’ll be,” he said, letting his fingers glide to Knox’s nape, and then into
his hair, because he needed to comfort himself. The fear of losing him was
still fresh, and he fought against intrusive thoughts about things that,
fortunately, did not happen.
“Ew, no. What?” Knox repeated, but didn’t shy away from the touch,
which made Liv feel all mushy inside. Knox accepted the rabbits but kept
them at arm’s length. “Are these… gutted?”
 Jag shook his head. “Oh, no, they’re fresh, barely caught. You can
prepare them however you like.”
Knox stared at him. “But… I don’t know how to skin a rabbit. Or even
cook one.”
Jag looked him up from head to toe. “Why? You should know such things
at your age.”
“Right? How are you taking care of your man, Knox?” Liv asked in the
most serious tone he could muster with a straight face.
Jag frowned at him. “No. You are the one who has to make sure your
injured mate is fed, even if it’s usually him who cooks. Come by my house
tomorrow. I will teach you how to handle rabbits. Otherwise, you’ll just
waste them,” he said and snatched the animals from Knox’s hand.
Liv wanted to laugh it off, but hearing it put that way made his ears burn
with shame. Of course he’d be taking care of Knox. How was that
something to be questioned? “Um, okay, sure,” Liv said, even though the
last thing he wanted was to handle blood and guts when they had a perfectly
nice meal in the fridge, courtesy of Ezra.
Still, it was kind of Jag to think of them. Odd as he was, he did have a
heart somewhere under his armor of scrap and leather.
Knox straightened. “I want to learn how to gut a rabbit too. The least I
can do is cook more in the coming days.”
Liv’s heart warmed all over. Even now, Knox wanted to pull his weight,
and while Liv would rather he rested in bed all day and eat Ezra’s stew, he
knew his man was far too stubborn to be dissuaded.
As far as Liv was concerned, Knox could get whatever the hell he wished
for. And if he dreamed of learning how to cook a rabbit, then Liv would
skin the little beast with his teeth as long as Knox agreed to go through with
the surgery.
Liv wished to bask in the radiance of Knox’s approval, to be the only one
who got it, and hoard it all like a dragon. And in the future, once Knox was
as healthy as he could be, Liv could make it his job to get Knox anything he
dreamed of. Gadgets Knox didn’t need but wanted, a big-ass TV, as many
cool jackets as he wanted, and hell, maybe even a fancy new car.
“We’ll come over tomorrow,” Liv said, because three was definitely a
crowd right now.
Jag turned around and left without much of a goodbye, but Liv wasn’t
complaining. He wanted Knox all to himself. They’d been all over each
other since their first non-pretend kiss, so this unintended break in closeness
had felt like forever. And, somehow, all the arguments and revelations made
Liv’s need for Knox more urgent. As if only Knox’s touch could heal the
bruises on his heart.
Knox turned to him with a thoughtful expression. “You think I could grill
it?”
“You can do whatever you put your mind to, babe,” Liv said and gave
him a kiss. He opened the trailer, letting his hand linger on the small of
Knox’s back. “I considered carrying you past the threshold, but this door is
way too narrow. We are not risking your arm today.”
Knox snorted as Liv held the door for him. “I’m on pain meds, I’ll be
okay. Wow, it’s so nice and warm in here.”
“Are you saying you want to be carried? Should we be practicing for the
day when we tie the knot?” Liv asked, surprised by how easy those words
left his mouth. He’d always been the kind of guy who’d rather not mention
the M-word and who proclaimed his desire to play the field for as long as
possible, but Knox and he had lived together for so long that being with him
forever seemed… natural.
Future had always been a vague concept for Liv, but it became so clear
now with an unexpected element that completed it—this new kind of
relationship with Knox.
Knox raised his eyebrows, but a flush crawled up his neck. “If you joke
about it enough times, I might just take you up on the offer.”
Who says it’s a joke? Got stuck in Liv’s throat like a bit of food that
might end up choking him, but he swallowed it down and smiled. “I’ll just
leave you to imagining me in a dress and veil,” he said, shaking his head
because the moment he saw it in his own mind, laughter rose in his chest
and spilled out.
Knox snorted, and his eyes seemed to sparkle as he watched Liv. Even
now, tired out after all the scary shit they’d been through, he was like a
Calvin Klein model with his tousled blond hair and pouty mouth. Liv just
needed to learn to navigate what it meant to be another guy’s boyfriend in
the long-term. But he’d get there. He might not be the smartest person, but
he had the will to be the best partner Knox could imagine. That had to count
for something.
Knox pulled on his hair. “Shouldn’t I be the one in a dress with hair like
this?”
 Liv scowled, putting away the food at record-breaking speed. His hands
were itching for Knox’s warmth, and he was right back as soon as the fridge
shut. He really did like Knox’s long hair, the softness of his features, which
had so often been criticized by Knox’s dad, but there was nothing wrong
with being a pretty boy with a nose ring.
“Nah. If I wanted to marry a girl, I’d have married one, right?” he asked,
placing his hands on Knox’s sides.
Knox leaned into him as if they’d always shared this kind of closeness
instead of expressing affection with silly shoves and pats on the back.
“Well, you’re gonna have to wait until I can afford a suit. Unless I go with a
tracksuit. Seriously though… is my hair too long? Or can I pull it off?”
Adorable.
“It looks really hot on you. Like you’ve just casually let it grow out,” Liv
said, dropping into the sofa and pulling Knox into his lap. This was where
his hot new boyfriend belonged. “And I like playing with it, if you couldn’t
tell.”
He loved the smile spreading Knox’s lips. Joking around and poking fun
at each other had always been a big part of their friendship, but Liv felt they
were stepping into something new. A relationship which needed to make
room for tenderness.
“I kinda… like it long. Always did. I think I’d like to grow it out. But you
gotta tell me if it starts making me look baby-faced.” Knox wrapped his
arm around Liv’s neck.
“You don’t look like a girl,” Liv said to cut his worries short, and rubbed
his thumb over the blond stubble growing on Knox’s chin. Ah, how did he
never realize how hot this scratching sensation could be? “You’ve got
angular cheeks, abs for days, and a dick I love.”
Knox leaned down to kiss Liv. “And I loved seeing it in your mouth.”
Oh fuck.
Liv’s stomach melted at the intensity in Knox’s voice. The raw desire was
thicker than Ezra’s fancy hot chocolate. He sank deeper into the seat and
tightened his arms around Knox, as their mouths got reacquainted.
This was a new kind of kiss. One that didn’t need to lead to a sweaty
tumble. Soft and so sweet. Liv found himself wrestling a strange emotion.
Almost painful, the sensation spread in his chest, like the ache from a shard
of glass that would kill him if he ever dared pull it out.
 Liv had always watched Knox’s back and made sure he wouldn’t
endanger his health too much, but what he’d learned about his boyfriend’s
condition at the hospital made Knox seem somehow… breakable. He’d
never say that out loud, but he already knew he was ready to do anything so
that Knox would thrive.
If only he had a clearer idea of what that anything was.
Money. They needed money.
But that could wait until tomorrow. For now, he let his hands slide to
Knox’s ass while their kiss deepened.
Liv closed his eyes, giving in to everything Knox wanted to bestow on
him. This was about so much more than sex. Knox melted into him and
shivered a little when Liv slid his cool hands under his T-shirt. Tender
feelings stirred deep inside him as he pressed his cheek to his lover’s warm
neck, reminding himself that the worst was over, and that for now, they
were both safe. And while he’d previously only showed this part of himself
to the girls he’d been with, the things he felt for them were a shadow of the
intense satisfaction of holding Knox.
The sterile smell of the hospital lingered on him still, but the trace of the
lemon shampoo Knox had used two days ago was a reminder of the good
times before the storm. Liv tuned into his warmth and closed his eyes,
knowing that he could sit and make out like this for hours.
But just as he tried to steal another kiss, Knox pulled away with a shy
smile. “I need a shower. It’s been a bit long.”
Right.
Liv’s hands left Knox’s buttocks, and he winked. “Men, right? Always
trying to get in your pants. Let’s get you clean.”
Knox gave him one more kiss and got up. “I have an injured shoulder, not
broken legs.”
Liv snorted, following him right away. “If you think you’re getting rid of
Nurse Liver, you have another thing coming,” he said and pulled off his top.
The way Knox’s gaze settled on his pecs was something he’d forever
keep in his spank bank. He flexed them for good measure, and loved the
face Knox made when he realized he’d been caught staring.
“Okay, Mr. Nurse can come if that’s all he’s wearing.”
Knox tried to then remove his T-shirt, but it was a struggle, so Liv helped
him out, revealing the bruised, partially bandaged torso. Seeing it from up
close made Liv shudder as the moment the bullet entered Knox’s body
flashed through his mind in a never-ending carousel of horrors. His stomach
tightened. His face burned. But he couldn’t make this about himself and
shook off the unwanted memory, putting on a smile.
Right now, Knox was here with him. Safe but in need of attention and
care. Liv could feel sorry for himself at a later date.
“I’ll wear even less. Just for you,” Liv whispered and grabbed the zipper
of Knox’s pants before lowering it while his gaze locked on Knox’s.
Knox licked his lips. “If I knew this was the treatment I’d get, I’d have
gotten shot way back.” He toed off his shoes and stepped out of the fallen
jeans.
The shower was tiny, but Liv figured they could keep the stall open and
deal with any spillage later. Problem was, there was no way they could both
fit in there, so Liv lost his pants and got in first.
“Get ready, I’ll help you so you don’t get the dressing wet,” he said and
turned on the water. The liquid ice pouring straight at him from the
showerhead made Liv shudder, but it always took a moment to warm up,
and since he wanted Knox to get the nice water, he gritted his teeth and
soaped up his hands before hurriedly moving them over his body.
When he glanced back, Knox was… stroking his dick. Which was funny
because his own had shrunk due to the cold.
Liv raised his brows.
Knox shrugged with a cocky smirk and looked Liv up and down. “What?
You told me to get ready.”
The meal they’d had on the way from the hospital must have been
energizing, not that Liv was complaining. “Didn’t know steak was an
aphrodisiac,” Liv said, removing all the suds with the first of the warm
water.
“No, but the other meat on offer is. Seriously though, I’m easy. Feed me,
fuck me, and I’m happy.”
Knox was much more complicated than that, but Liv wouldn’t point it out
when Knox was suggesting a fuck.
“You know, it’s rare that you try a new thing and instantly know that’s
your new favorite,” Liv said, stepping out of the open stall and placing his
hand on Knox’s half-hard dick, because why the hell not? Knox was the one
who started it! “Only had this cut of meat once, and I might already need
more.”
 Knox’s gaze met his, and the intensity hiding in his darkening eyes had
Liv’s balls throbbing. “I would have hated it being a once in a lifetime
experience, ‘cause you sure showed enthusiasm.” But Knox still slipped out
of his grasp, taking a step toward the shower. “Hm… how do we do this…”
He groaned and swapped sides to go in with his healthy side first.
The showerhead, still attached to the wall, poured warm water over his
shoulder and chest, and Liv stalled, watching the droplets cascade down
Knox’s toned form. This man existed to evoke sinful thoughts, but Liv
would hoard him and protect the rest of humanity from inappropriate
fantasies about him. Their loss, his gain.
“You hold the showerhead, and I’ll wash you,” Liv said, not even trying
to hide his smile.
Knox put his head under the stream of water. “You sure? I don’t want you
to feel like you’re my nurse. Bit of a turn-off, don’t you think?”
Turn-off? Knox had no idea what he was talking about.
Liv wanted to be there for him. He wanted to be needed, to be the one
man who’d always have Knox’s back, and who’d support him through all
the shit to come. And while Knox didn’t reject Liv’s help, it was very clear
he’d always felt self-conscious about needing it in the first place. That was
why he’d never revealed the extent of his health issues, as if he thought
himself undeserving of help.
But that was all behind them, because when Liv stepped closer and
poured soap into his hand, Knox’s eyes darkened with lust rather than
annoyance.
Good, because Liv’s care wasn’t meant to suggest that Knox wasn’t
independent. Everyone needed a bit of relief once in a while, whether it was
related to illness or getting head.
“Oh, you’re right, I really hate needing to touch your body. Yuck, feels so
gay,” Liv said with emphasis, placing both hands on the sides of Knox’s
neck.
Wet hair stuck to Knox’s face as he smiled. “It’s okay. Just two bros
helping each other out, right?”
Pretty. Cocky. And horny for Liv. What more could Liv want?
He did have some ideas, but those had to wait, because when his hands
descended the muscular chest and stomach, the subtle changes in Knox’s
expression became his sole focus.
 “Yeah, just good clean care. People need to stop sexualizing every single
thing, right?” Liv said in a raspy tone that made Knox shiver even before
Liv’s soapy fingers combed through his pubes, playing with the base of his
cock.
Knox’s eyes shut, his gasp reverberating down Liv’s body like the roar of
a revving engine. “It’s nice to have a completely straight friend help me out
after surgery.”
“Sure, buddy, you’d have done the same for me, wouldn’t you?” Liv
asked, and his arousal hummed deep inside when he pushed his other hand
between Knox’s legs, rubbing his taint and inner thighs. The stream of
water changed direction when Knox lost balance, but by the time he leaned
against the wall, Liv had both his cock and balls in his slick, soapy hands.
And, fuck, did he enjoy it. He loved that he could get Knox worked up so
fast.
Knox’s breath quickened. “Yeah, always. It’s what friends do. Like if you
broke both your arms, I’d jerk you off. As a friend.”
Liv grinned and leaned in, licking moisture off that tempting chest while
Knox’s cock hardened in his hand. “I’d expect nothing less,” Liv said,
moving lower, until his face was level with Knox’s hips while he rubbed
soap into his thick yet graceful legs. If he managed to keep himself from
sucking on that delicious shaft before this was over, he deserved the title of
the most restrained man in existence.
“I love that you’re my first,” Knox whispered, breaking their chain of
jokes, but it only made Liv melt more.
“And last,” Liv added.
“And only.”
Knox’s baby blues were so soft. His gaze communicated the depth of his
attachment, and its tenderness transformed the lust buzzing inside Liv into
something deeper, richer. Because this wasn’t just about getting Knox off.
So many feelings Liv couldn’t yet name rumbled in his chest, but from now
on he’d infuse them into every single thing he did.
He reached for the liquid soap as he looked up at Knox, admiring every
muscle, every beautiful line, before diving in to kiss the liver tattoo on his
stomach. “You changed everything for me,” he whispered, sliding his hands
to Knox’s ass.
But when he squeezed it, making Knox gasp, a wicked new idea bloomed
in Liv’s mind. He spun Knox around.
 The showerhead Knox still clutched sprayed water down Liv’s body as
they moved, but then Liv faced Knox’s broad back and his delicious rump,
already glistening with soap.
They’d so often clash over small things as friends, but now that Knox
understood he didn’t have to fight Liv over dominance, he gave in so
pliantly it made Liv’s mouth water. How could he have been blind enough
to believe they could stay friends with benefits when Knox had always been
the most important person in his life?
But as annoyed with himself as Liv was, at least now he understood he
wanted more, and itched to give all of himself to Knox too.
He slipped his fingers between Knox’s tense ass cheeks and teased the
delicate flesh, making it slippery with soap. A wave of heat rushed through
him when one of his digits dipped into the hot pucker. This snug hole
always felt so good around his dick, milking it until his balls were empty
and all he knew was bliss.
Rubbing his nose up and down his lover’s damp back, Liv tickled the
entrance to Knox’s body, spiraling his fingertip around its rim.
Knox arched back, so needy for Liv’s dick he attempted to change the
angle of his hips and stab himself onto the digit. “It’s such a fucking
sensitive spot,” he whined against the plastic wall, spreading his legs a bit
wider.
It was the trigger Liv needed, so he pushed at the hole, showering kisses
over the side of Knox’s sweet peach. It left soap on his lips, but he didn’t
care, loving how his attention made Knox twitch and push back, in a
voiceless plea for more.
“Fuck yes. God, that’s so damn hot, Knox,” he said, whimpering when
the warm channel opened to him, letting the finger in.
Knox groaned and pressed his forehead to the wall. “More. Feels good.”
Liv pulled one of the buttocks aside and breathlessly watched that pink
pucker suck in his finger.
Sweet fucking hell. Every bit of Knox made his mouth water, and as he
played with the opening, biting, sucking and licking his man’s buttocks, one
desire charged into his brain, scattering over his thoughts.
He needed to taste Knox. Everywhere.
With his cock throbbing so intensely he could barely focus, Liv reached
for the showerhead, wrestled it out of Knox’s hand and washed away the
soap. The clean skin glistened by the time he switched off the water, juicy
like the most beautiful apple that needed to be bitten into.
He leaned forward and buried his face in Knox’s warm crack.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 31

Knox

KNOX’S BRAIN SCRAMBLED WHEN that wet, silky tongue probed at

his hole. Bracing himself against the wall, he struggled to stay put, but
when he moved, Liv held him still, which somehow made this moment
even hotter.
“Oh, fuck…” he whimpered, spreading his legs wider in a mindless
request for pleasure, despite a part of him believing this was going too far.
That he ought to be embarrassed and stop Liv. But if his boyfriend wanted
to do this, who was Knox to deny him?
Especially when it felt good enough to melt him into a boiling puddle of
need.
Fire danced over Knox’s damp skin when Liv kneaded his ass as if it
were made of raw dough. He closed his eyes, consumed by the steam. Liv’s
tongue rolled against his flesh, embarrassment forgotten as he rocked his
hips back, loving the scratch of stubble on his sensitive flesh.
Liv held his ass cheeks apart and drew a hot, wet line from Knox’s taint
to his anus. “Hell yes. Your pink little hole looks so ripe for drilling,” he
murmured and pushed his tongue in, sending Knox to his toes with a moan.
His fingers trembled as he clutched onto the shower mount, but there was
no escaping those insistent lips, and Knox ended up rolling his forehead
against the wall as Liv’s tongue stroked the rim of his entrance in a
tantalizing motion.
Stars sparked at the backs of Knox’s eyelids, and he stopped breathing as
words pushed at his lips. “Tell me.”
Liv’s hum descended all the way to Knox’s feet and made his legs soften.
“It wants to open up to me so bad. Damn, Knoxie, you were made for this.
For taking my dick.”
Knox bit his lip, arching his back. His cock was so hard it bordered on an
ache, but at least that overshadowed the pain in his shoulder. “Do it then.
You’re the only one I’m ever letting inside me.”
He couldn’t wait to feel Liv’s thick cock push into him. Never in his life
did he imagine that being something he’d enjoy, yet now he was horny out
of his mind and desperate to be filled again. And as much as he loved the
raunchy quickies that left him sore yet utterly satisfied, right now he wanted
to savor the experience and have Liv ride him for hours, until neither of
them had the energy to move.
That was how good their sex felt, and whether it was due to Liv’s skill or
Knox’s complete and utter enchantment with him did not matter. Not right
now.
Liv uttered a grunt that had Knox curling his toes, but he wasn’t yet done
with eating Knox’s ass and playfully dipped the tip of his tongue over the
rim, drawing patterns over Knox’s flesh.
“Yeah? You addicted to me already?”
The gentle teasing was driving Knox mad. Every time Liv pushed the tip
of his tongue at his sphincter had him needing more. Of course he was
fucking addicted! “Gay coke, Liv. Don’t make me beg for more like a dick
junkie.”
Liv gave the sexiest laugh and pulled away with a gentle slap on Knox’s
buttock. “Indulge me. Tell me how much you need my cock,” he said and
grabbed the mouthwash as soon as he got to his feet. Somehow, seeing him
with hamster cheeks as he rinsed did not spoil the mood.
Knox was too aroused for shame, so he reached back and teased the tip of
his finger into his hole, never looking away from Liv’s dark eyes. “I need it
so much I could come just thinking about it as I finger myself…”
“Fuck, Knoxie… What are you doing to me?” Liv seemed to stop
breathing altogether, and that made Knox feel like a sex god. As if he was
the hottest piece of ass on the planet, capable of attracting the devotion of a
stud like Liver Polk.
Knox turned around with a happy grin and an even happier dick. His ass
throbbed for more, but he took his time enjoying the lust-filled expression
on Liv’s face. With a smug smile and a wiggle of eyebrows, Knox stepped
out of the shower with the grace of a young buck… only to slip on the
water they’d splashed. He made a pirouette that might have landed him flat
on the floor.
But Liv was there to catch him, of course. As always.
Mumbling something, he kept Knox upright until he was securely on his
feet. “Seriously, you would die without me,” he said with a widening smile
and then dove in for a kiss that had Knox clutching Liv’s shoulder. God, out
of all the drugs one could get hooked on, Knox had gotten lucky choosing
the one that loved him back.
He held on to Liv, wrapping one arm around his neck, happy to indulge in
the kiss as Liv’s hand snaked its way to his ass. A voiceless moan left his
lips when Liv squeezed his flesh before giving it a gentle scratch.
Bottoming for him made Knox feel desired like never in his life. It was
special, something only he could offer Liv. And maybe it was just a fantasy,
but whenever they connected this way, the intensity in Liv’s eyes promised
Knox that this addiction was mutual.
Brown eyes shone back at him, offering care and tenderness he could
previously only dream of, and when Liv cupped his face and moved
forward, Knox had no choice but to follow his directions, taking blind steps
back, out of the steamed-up bathroom.
“That’s it. Look at me like that,” Liv rasped as they moved, flesh against
flesh, both entranced by this moment of magic in their dingy old trailer.
“Like what?” Knox asked, distracted by Liv’s hand descending his back
in a soft yet decisive caress. His skin was on fire with need and his hard
dick rubbed against Liv with their every move.
Before he could get his answer, the back of his legs hit the bed, and he
fell back with Liv toppling onto him.
He stiffened when his shoulder throbbed with pain, and they both stilled
until he was able to relax.
“Oops,” Liv said with a growing smile and pushed his tongue at the gap
between his teeth, playful as ever. “Let’s make love, not pain,” he said,
waiting for Knox to shift and move deeper onto the mattress.
 Knox waited until the discomfort eased, then made room for Liv. “Make
love.” He snorted, shaking his head. But Liv did not laugh back as he
crawled on top of Knox. His lean muscles moved under tattooed skin,
making the inked hot rods and flowers come alive. When Liv sank lower
and held Knox’s head in both his hands, even breathing as normal became
near impossible.
“Is that funny?”
The laugh died on Knox’s lips. When he stared into Liv’s eyes, he felt
more vulnerable than he had at the hospital, right before going under.
Liv saw all of him. The good and the bad.
Liv appreciated Knox’s humor, his strength, his looks, while also
accepting his hospital phobia and that he cried too much. So maybe… yeah,
maybe they could make love instead of just fucking.
Knox stroked Liv’s side with a sigh. “I… love you. Not like, ‘I love you,
bro’. I just love you,” he whispered, afraid of his own words. “I love you
like I’d take a bullet for you, hide a body, move across the country, and then
ask you for a dicking kinda love.”
Liv grinned, but his eyes remained focused, glowing with fondness that
would have kept Knox warm even if their friends hadn’t made sure the
trailer was toasty by the time they arrived. It was like looking into the sun
without getting blinded. Like homemade pancakes every morning. Like
winning a fight against an opponent twice his size. Knox was regretful over
having to blink, but when his eyes opened again, Liv was still there,
stroking his face.
“I think I have an idea, because I’d kill for you. Turn my life upside down
for you. And even make you mine for real.”
Knox’s heart beat faster, but not in the irregular way that sometimes hurt
or made him faint. It beat strongly. For Liv.
“I’m already yours.”
Liv gave the quietest of gasps, barely audible in the silence of their
trailer, but then he lowered his body and pushed his knee at the underside of
Knox’s thigh, moving it to claim the space between his legs. The way he did
it—so practiced, and confident, and oh so masculine had Knox arching off
the mattress.
“And I’m never letting you go. We’re both where we belong,” Liv
whispered, nuzzling the side of Knox’s nose, his lips so very close Knox
could almost taste them.
 He arched to catch them in a kiss, full of emotion, as if he hadn’t just
confessed his feelings after holding them in for so long. “You definitely are.
I love being under you,” Knox murmured, rocking against him and
wrapping his arm around Liv’s neck.
It felt so good to be able to express himself like this. To be himself. No
barriers, no lies, no insecurities. And despite the ghost of his father still
watching him with contempt, he didn’t feel ashamed of wanting this
anymore. He was his own man, had friends who understood him, and Liv,
sweet, caring Liv who would never judge him, and who’d accepted him
before Knox even accepted himself.
Liv grinned and rolled his hips, squeezing both their cocks between their
bodies as he deepened the kiss, serving yet another hit of the drug Knox
was so fucking addicted to.
He hoped this high would last forever.
Knox wrapped his legs around Liv’s hips, eager to hold him close in any
way he could. Yeah, a quickie in a back alley was exhilarating, but he’d
enjoy taking his time to devour Liv just as much.
Knox sighed, relaxing into a strange state where he was both at peace and
so horny he could barely wait anymore. He let his lips stray from Liv’s
mouth to his jaw, then his neck, making sure he kissed every petal of the
roses tattooed there. Liv’s body was a work of art, and Knox would treat it
with the reverence it deserved.
The firm body trembled as Liv bared his throat, eager for the kisses.
Knox stroked and kneaded any skin he could reach. And while he resented
the expectations placed on him in his previous relationships, he wanted to
give Liv’s body attention, to touch him and enjoy every inch of flesh. This
was a body he wished to shower with attention, and each sigh and moan felt
like a badge of honor, prompting him to act. Giving this magnificent beast
pleasure felt like the peak of arousal, and they haven’t even gone beyond
foreplay yet.
The fingers, which so far had caressed his scalp, now tightened in his
hair, gently pulling on it as Liv grinned, wiggling his brows. “Keep looking
at me like that. Your eyes are magic. So fucking beautiful,” he rasped and
kissed Knox’s forehead before moving down his jaw, to his neck, then his
shoulder. Each brush of lips against skin was an explosion of radiance that
made Knox writhe and gasp.
 At least he didn’t need to keep the noise down. This was their home.
Their haven.
A month back, he would have blasted Liv for calling him beautiful,
worried it implied he wasn’t manly enough to be considered handsome, but
if Liv saw him that way, then he’d embrace it.
“Never thought you were a romantic,” he teased, stroking Liv’s nape.
Liv swallowed, watching him with a tenderness that melted the last of
Knox’s worries and barriers. “I’m not. I’m a rude, shady guy from the worst
trailer park in the county. You just have bad taste in men. What? I’m just
saying it like it is, sweetheart.” He grinned, and when his lips descended to
Knox’s chest, searching for the perfect place to nibble on, Knox grabbed his
shoulders, giving himself over to bliss.
He grinned, sighed, indulged in Liv’s kisses and gave even more back. In
the warm cocoon of fresh bedding, the heat from the radiator, and Liv’s
scorching touch, Knox could melt and forget his uncertain future. The here
and now with Liv was the only thing that mattered.
At some point, their kisses turned more urgent, and skin sweaty enough
to warrant another shower later, but Knox wouldn’t have it any other way.
Liv’s dick inside him was just the cherry on top of this delicious afternoon.
When it entered him, his thoughts were reduced to nothingness in the face
of their intense connection. Above him, Liv shut his eyes, fighting for
breath as his shaft slotted in, molding Knox’s insides to its shape, but once
the moment of tension passed, his hands and lips wandered, petting Knox’s
flesh as they moved together.
They’d been having sex for a while, but it felt new now that they were no
longer just fuck buddies. Knox felt Liv’s care for him in every thrust. Every
brush of fingers. Every kiss.
And yeah, he didn’t mind being called sweetheart as long as the
nickname was an endearment from Liv’s lips. It felt honest, and who was he
to block Liv from expressing his affection?
Oh, and there was so much affection in the throbbing thick cock driving
into him again and again at a languid pace. For once, Liv wasn’t in a hurry
to show off or make them both come in the fastest, most explosive fashion,
but remained utterly focused, his dark gaze never once leaving Knox’s face.
He moved inside Knox softly, gently, building their pleasure until Knox
could swear electricity danced between his toes.
 It was the closest Knox had ever been to feeling loved, and while Liv
hadn’t said the words, his actions couldn’t lie. A man didn’t look at his
friend the way Liv looked at Knox. Whatever they now shared was
absolutely, heartbreakingly beautiful.
Liv touched his hot forehead to Knox’s, and they stayed in this lucid
dream for fuck knew how long, getting high on each other’s breaths.
But the intensity of getting teased from the inside was becoming too
much to bear, and Knox rocked against Liv, all needy and wanting. Liv
grinned in response and sped up, like the glorious machine that he was. He
squeezed moans out of Knox with every thrust, set on fucking him into
orgasm without jerking Knox off.
And he succeeded. The intent stabs of his dick and whatever friction
Knox could get from his cock rubbing against Liv’s abs were enough to
make him come.
He trembled. Arched. And then sunk onto the bed as bliss melted first his
brain and then his body while Liv moved above him, inside him, until his
eyes rolled back and Knox felt him come. Just knowing that his man had
finished inside him, leaving his cum deep within Knox’s body was enough
to give him another high.
He lay still panting, smiling, sweaty, watching Liv’s handsome face from
up close. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” Knox whispered, stroking Liv’s side. “I’m
gonna have to get a taser to keep girls away.”
Liv startled, as if he’d almost fallen asleep as soon as his head hit the
pillow, but Knox’s words woke him up in an instant. “Suit yourself. But
maybe I should just tell them I’m gay and call it a day,” he mumbled,
entwining his fingers with Knox’s.
It would have been easy for them that way, but Knox was so in tune with
Liv now that he sensed something was off. He wrapped his sticky self
around Liv and kissed his cheek. “But you’re not, are you? You… really
helped me see my authentic self. I want that for you too.”
Liv stilled, his eyes dark with thought rather than arousal. “No, but… it’s
gonna be only you and me now. I know you might not believe me, because I
haven’t always been the best boyfriend to my girlfriends, but the way I feel
about you is… different. It’s more. I can’t disappoint you again. I just
can’t.”
Knox stroked his warm face, filled with so much tenderness he could
barely breathe. “You won’t. You… I had a real meltdown about the hospital,
and you were there for me. I know we supported each other in one way or
another for a long time, but it feels different now. I want to be an anchor for
you, so that you know you belong to me, and you’ll always have me.”
Liv’s Adam’s apple rolled up and down, and he took a loud inhale,
squeezing Knox’s hand with more force, but his eyes lost focus, as if he
were miles away. “It’s just… difficult. I’m less self-conscious around girls,
I guess. A nurse once told me that men who have sex problems usually
prefer talking to a woman doctor, and I kind of see why. Around guys, even
with you, I have this need to always be the top dog. To never express it
when I’m feeling down. Maybe I am a bit worried about losing that safety
net.”
Knox swallowed and after a moment of hesitation, stroked the back of
Liv’s head. “You don’t have to always be so tough around me. I kinda… it’s
hard to adjust to this change in our relationship, but I like being sweeter
with you. It’s a relief. I want you to feel that too. Who else are you gonna
talk to, if not me?”
Liv’s chest expanded as he looked away, rolling onto his back to stare at
the ceiling of their trailer. Someone seemed to have made little holes in it a
long time ago. “But won’t it eventually… start putting you off? I can see
you like it when I’m very—”
Knox chuckled and cuddled up to Liv as if it was the most natural thing
in the world. “Yeah, it’s hot, and it turns me on that you’re so butch, but you
don’t have to be that non-stop. I like that you’re such a dumbass sometimes,
and I like cheering you up when you’re grumpy over stupid shit. I can only
come a few times a day, you know?” He laughed and kissed Liv’s pec. “Let
me take care of you sometimes. Let me be… the man. Gender roles, blah
blah, but you know what I mean.”
Liv roared with laughter. “‘Gender roles’? Oh, you’ve been on many
websites I never visit,” he said but leaned in to kiss Knox’s forehead.
Knox groaned and rolled his eyes. “It’s Ezra. He talks about that kind of
shit sometimes. I’m trying to learn, okay?”
Liv laughed even harder. “I just find it funny that you claimed to hate gay
people a month ago.”
Knox rolled his forehead over Liv’s chest with a groan. “Rub it in. I
deserve that. I don’t know. Maybe deep down I knew men excited me, and I
was scared of it. My dad drilled into me how wrong that would be. But the
trailer park or my gym buddies weren’t all that gay-friendly either.”
 Liv shook his head before breaking into a seductive grin. “You’ll be
getting on your knees as penance for a looong time.”
Knox laughed and pinched Liv’s nipple. “Oh no… such terrible
punishment! Seriously though… sure, I wish I knew earlier, but I do really
regret saying the things I did around people. There could have been
someone like me around, in the closet, or just unsure, and me spewing shit
might have felt terrible for them.” His eyes started itching in a way he knew
all too well, and he gave Liv’s arm a playful punch. “Fuck. You’re making
me cry again. Jeez.”
Liv’s face was an unreadable mask, but then, after stalling for several
seconds, he shifted on the bed and laid his head on Knox’s chest, then took
hold of his wrist and brought it to his hair, oddly tense.
Knox hugged Liv with his aching arm while stroking his hair with the
other, his heart filled with love and tenderness. It was strange and new to do
this for Liv, but he embraced it like a bear getting a lick of honey. He
wanted for Liv to feel safe with him. Being Liv's refuge wouldn't be just
Knox's pleasure but also an honor. This man protected him, had uprooted
his whole life for him, and offered him things Knox never even dreamed of.
So yes, he would listen, and comfort him, and never ever judge him for
moments of weakness.
And Knox already knew he’d be learning to cook better. And not just in
the sense of expanding his barbeque repertoire. He’d make sandwiches, and
cake, and, like, even fucking soup.
He kissed the top of Liv’s head, and the soft smile emerging on that
roguish face made it look cute for a change, not hot and dangerous. Their
fingers entwined, and Liv’s breathing evened within seconds, as if Knox’s
tenderness had been the magic touch he’d needed.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 32

Liv

IT HAD BEEN A week since Knox’s brush with death, but while Liv had
been working his ass off at the junkyard, he seemed to have hit a wall,
because Frank refused to work him “to death”, as he’d put it. It was all a
bit dramatic, and since cash for the surgery wouldn’t magically appear
under Liv’s pillow, he decided to look for a second job elsewhere.
Problem was, while his and Knox’s mugshots weren’t widely publicized
beyond California, there was no guarantee that showing his face in town
might not result in some true crime fan recognizing and reporting him.
So he kissed Knox goodbye, got into the car—which Frank begrudgingly
updated with new licence plates—and headed off to the former airport
owned by the motorcycle club.
Whatever work he might get there, he wouldn’t need a social security
number.
It was Friday, and despite it being still early in the evening, the loud
music and multitude of vehicles parked by the compound suggested a party
was already on. Liv had already passed Cyborg’s jacket back to him
through Dex, but his favorite denim one with an American flag on the back
was far too flimsy for the cold weather. Knox insisted Liv should wear the
one Liv had gotten him, since it was so cozy. While the garment was
snugger on him than it was on Knox, Liv couldn’t deny the offer in this
weather. It also came with Knox’s scent—a win in Liv’s book. And kept
him from looking like a hobo, which couldn’t be said about most of his
outfits as of late, since he worked all the time and wore Knox’s old
oversized and ripped coat over his denim jacket. Then again, Knox did talk
a lot about finding Liv hot in sweatpants, so clouds, silver linings and all
that.
He glanced into the side mirror of his car and slicked back his hair, which
had gotten a bit long since the escape from California. Ezra had been
merciful enough to trim the sides for him, so he didn’t look unkempt. A
bunch of bikers would hardly expect him to look as though he arrived for a
job interview, but he needed to put his best foot forward.
He tried out three smiles, eventually settling on the first, and headed to
the front of the hangar, where the music was the loudest. Despite it being a
bitterly cold evening, plenty of people stood in groups, chatting in clouds of
vapor and cigarette smoke, but he ignored them and headed straight into the
club’s bar.
A wall of hot air scented with booze, sweat, and pine air freshener met
him as soon as he entered, unusually self-conscious of the few people who
bothered glancing his way. He wasn’t used to being ignored. Around their
hometown, and especially at the trailer park, everyone knew who Liver
Polk was. Every single person knew someone he dated, or even partied
and/or hooked up with him themself in the past. But here?
Here, Liv was yet another guy in need of cash and attention. Just a set of
arms that might prove useful if he showed his worth. And while he looked
good and had a bedpost full of notches to prove it, the girls present were all
over guys in leather cuts, presumably members of the MC.
Not that he’d come here to flirt.
The drama following his and Knox’s first date had been more than
enough of a wake-up call to make him swear off women, but it was always
nice to bask in the glow of approval, and how many of the guys around here
could possibly give him that? For them, he was yet another man to compete
with for pussy, cash, and social standing.
He’d already started saving every buck he and Knox could spare—which
wasn’t much—but for the sake of mingling, he’d have to get a beer here. A
bit of liquid courage never hurt anyone, though it wasn’t like him to need it.
He’d never realized how much he craved this recognition until now. Until
he didn’t have it. None of the girls knew he was a great race car driver, or
that he could do a one-armed handstand.
Then again, he was Liver Polk. He was not about to let insecurity creep in
just because he was in a new place. So he was dirt poor. It had never
stopped him before.
“You’re a new face,” the bartender said, watching him as she wiped a
glass dry. With smudged pink around her deep brown eyes, she looked
almost theatrical, despite the mundane outfit of a tank top and jeans. The
old Liv would have started flirting just. About. Now.
But the new Liv had a boyfriend, who was the best big spoon, who
always believed in him, and with whom he had the most electric sex. And
while flirting didn’t need to be erotic in nature, and might help him out in
this situation, Liv offered her only a smile he hoped appeared relaxed.
“I’m new in town. Been to one party here a bit under a month ago. You
been working here long?”
“The club’s only just moved to this location, but I’ve been coming to see
the races for a while.” She winked at him, which was kinda nice whether he
had a boyfriend or not. “I’ve been meaning to quit these weekend shifts
actually, but I’ve got this piece of shit old Cadillac I just don’t have the
heart to let go of, and the boys at the club always fix it for me for free.”
“Sounds like a good deal, if you also get drinks on the house,” Liv said
with a grin before adding. “I’m actually here to ask for jobs. Who should I
speak to?”
“Most of the guys are at the garage next door, look for Lion. Baldie with
a bushy beard. Depends what you can do though. This new compound’s big,
so they might have something. Who knows, maybe you’ll be replacing me
at the bar and I can finally be free.” She laughed, leaning over the counter
and giving Liv a better view of her cleavage. “Then we wouldn’t be in
trouble for a work affair. To be fair, the Demon Brethren MC don’t have an
HR department.”
“Yeah, I expect they’re more likely to have a Sexual Relations
department,” Liv said with a grin, though after taking an accidental peek
down her neckline, his gaze was right back on her face. No one banned him
from looking at women, and it wasn’t like it would have hurt anyone, but
just thinking back to waking up with Knox embracing him from behind,
made him feel like letting his thoughts wander would count as cheating.
She laughed, shaking her head. “I can see that, an MC-only matchmaking
service. I’m sure Lion would love that.”
 Liv cleared his throat. “But I’m afraid I’m taken, so we don’t have to
worry about all the necessary paperwork.”
The bartender bit her lip. “Damn. Worth a shot though. Guess I’ll have to
wait for Lion to start that dating service after all.”
Going by her confidence, Liv doubted she’d need any help in that
department, but he still exchanged a few more pleasantries with her before
heading off to the garage with his beer half finished by now.
It felt so strange to not be on the lookout for a new girl to hook up with,
yet also… peaceful? He knew where he stood, and couldn’t wait to go back
home, right into Knox’s arms. No party could compete with that, but it still
felt like a loss of something, even though he no longer wanted empty fun
with one-night stands.
The void this created would disappear with time. He was Liver Polk after
all, and wouldn’t be tied to one identity, or one place. He’d always
embraced spontaneity, change, and his own impulses. This would be no
different.
Walking out of the stuffy interior had been a relief, and he nodded at the
nearby gathering of smokers before heading for the garage, where a group
of guys fussed over a flashy green Honda. Liv could have sworn he’d seen
it during the one party he’d attended here.
“That’s a beauty,” he said, approaching, because at least this was safe
ground to walk on. No eggshells or quicksand. Just metal and motor oil.
This, he knew his way around.
A guy with slightly greasy long hair turned to him and patted the spotless
hood of the car. “Thanks. Though it’s the engine that’s the real secret here.
My brother knows how to squeeze every last drop of gas out of it in a race.”
“Oh yeah? He takes part in the races?” Was Liv stalling with job hunting?
Maybe a little, but nice cars always drew him in a bit too much.
The guy nodded, and when he turned his face, Liv spotted a fading
yellow bruise under one of his eyes. “He’s won several, including a big one
three weeks ago, but it’s a team effort. He wouldn’t know how to fine tune
things inside,” he said, clearly just boasting about his skills.
“I know what you mean. Both the car and the driver matter in a race.”
And then it hit him. Green Honda. The race winner.
The asshole who almost drove into the audience for the fun of it, and
whose people had a standoff with Knox before Liv’s arrival.
 Going by the bruise, this had to be the guy Knox had clocked over the
head. Maybe even the one who’d scratched his face.
On the outside, Liv kept his polite smile, but on the inside, he already
wondered whether he could get away with piercing some tires later, when
no one was looking.
The guy stroked the green metal with a self-satisfied grin. “You know
who to bet on in December then. Biggest race of the year. People get into
that pre-Christmas frenzy and bet big. The stakes go nuts.”
A hot flush made Liv’s cheeks burn, but this wasn’t the time to reveal his
cards, so he offered the shithead a grin. “I can imagine. This vehicle is
really something. How big do you think the prize pool will be for that big
race in December?” he asked, playing into what the guy surely wanted. He
would not be too charming, nor reveal that he too was a racer. No, he’d
sneak up on the bastard and cut his brakes when he’d last expect it.
Metaphorically, of course. Liv always played fair. When it came to cars at
least.
His new enemy number one—scratcher of Knox—spread his arms, eager
to boast. “Normally I’d say something between ten and twenty grand, but
there’s this guy coming here from Nevada, and he’s a bit of a star. You
probably never heard of him, goes by Blizzard, and he’s a bit of a legend.
Heard some of his high-flying friends are coming to slum it here with us
regular folk. So who knows? Sky’s the limit, really.”
Liv’s brain ached, as if someone had squeezed it. Ten or twenty wouldn’t
cover the entire surgery, but it would have been a good lump sum to start
with. With the potential for more? He’d bend over backwards to make that
race, even if the Nevada racer’s name brought a shiver to his back. He’d
seen Blizzard in action. The guy didn’t just have an expensive, well-tuned
car. He was a raging maniac who feared loss of publicity way more than he
feared death.
But this wasn’t the moment to let fear set in. He smiled and offered the
other guy his hand, because there was only so long he could think of him as
‘that bastard’. “River.”
“Bill. So save up some cash, River, ‘cause it’s gonna be a big one, I can
feel it. And the club holds the bets, so it’s all secure and shit.”
Bill was really selling it, but Liv had all the information he needed.
“Oh, I won’t be betting. I’ll be taking that cash home,” he said, with a
growing smile. “But good luck to your brother,” he added and turned
around with a spring to his step.
The muffled curse reaching his ears made him smile, but he wasn’t here
to bask in this fucker’s failure to smell danger when it snuck up on him. He
came here for a job.
“Evening,” he said, stepping past the open gate of the garage. Despite it
being Friday, several men were still at work, by the looks of it doing
chopper maintenance. He’d never been a motorcycle man, but he could
smell burnt motor oil from afar. Still, pointing that out from the get go
might not be the best recipe for friendly banter.
Four heads turned his way, and one of the guys, stick-thin, with a rather
large, protruding nose wiped his hands on his dirty jeans, measuring Liv
with his gaze. “And who are you?”
Best way to deal with unfriendly people? Keep being friendly.
Liv shrugged, ignoring the impolite tone. “River. I’m looking for Lion.
He about?”
Another guy, this one bearded and showing off a hairy chest despite the
cold, cocked his head, assessing Liv’s confidence. “He’ll be back in about
an hour, but feel free to wait. You a friend of his?”
But before Liv could answer, a young blonde in hot pants and fishnet
tights stepped in with a big smile and a whole steaming platter of what had
to be burritos. Wrapped in foil, they looked chunky, and smelled delicious.
While Knox had stepped up his game in feeding them both by either
making attempts to cook or extracting food out of Ezra, Liv’s mouth still
watered at the size of those things and he followed the platter with his gaze.
“Who’s up for burritos?” the girl asked, striding in. “Savannah made
them.”
The guys all rose, wiping their hands and no doubt already salivating.
Whoever Savannah was, she was known for her food, and now that Liv had
smelled it, he wanted some too, especially if he could get one to take back
home for Knox. After all, in their situation every saved dollar counted. He
was about to ask if there were any to spare when the lanky guy from earlier
snapped his fingers at him.
“Will you stop staring at my sister like a lecher, or should we talk
outside?”
That was… unnecessary. But before Liv could have quipped something
back, heavy footsteps sent a shudder down his spine. “Simmer down. This
one likes dick.”
Cyborg.
Fucking Cyborg.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 33

Liv

ANGER TURNED LIV’S CHEST into a furnace sending heat into his fists,
legs, but most of all—his head, which felt like it was about to burst. Several
pairs of eyes settled on him, but despite knowing he had to keep his body
language in check, he didn’t have the courage to meet any of the gazes. It
was as if confidence had drained from his body, and while Cy’s statement
was not an accusation, it sure as hell felt like one. Not just because it was
untrue, since he’d probably gotten more tail than anyone else present, but
because it was meant to humble him.
Cyborg out of all people should know how the simple statement he made
could affect Liv’s standing in a place steaming with a particular kind of
masculinity.
But he took a deep breath and glanced over the shoulder, because trying
to fight for his truth would have made him appear even weaker. What was
he gonna do? Raise his finger and correct Cy, that he was bisexual? In the
eyes of these guys, it wouldn’t have changed anything and only made him
seem defensive.
In the end, it was the blonde girl who broke the silence, handing him a
burrito. “My aunt is gay,” she offered as if that was supposed to solve
anything.
 Cyborg smirked and took one as well. Just looking at him made Liv’s
forgotten anger rise again. The dude had been this close to snatching Knox
from him, and he hadn’t been with him through thick and thin, like Liv had.
He’d have had fun the same way Liv often had with girls, and then stepped
away once things started getting complicated.
He didn’t deserve to be in Knox’s presence, much less touch him.
Then again, he had been there to administer first aid when Liv had
panicked and offered them access to a discreet surgeon, so he wasn’t all
bad.
Plus, as a member of the MC, maybe he could offer yet more help. If Liv
managed to fix the bad impression he’d clearly left. He hated needing
something from Cyborg, but life had often offered Liv lemons, and he had
to roll with it.
“Hey.”
The big-nosed prospect snorted. “Oh, you know each other? You should
have said you’re Cy’s boy.”
Liv flushed with fury, hating that those guys just assumed that he’d come
to suck Cy’s dick, just because they maybe-kinda knew one another.
But Cyborg cut in first, eyeing Liv from top to bottom, as if he were
studying a pile of dirt. “He’s not my type,” he said and turned around,
walking out with his burrito.
Liv stopped breathing when someone cracked a laugh, but he ignored
them and followed his instinct—and Cy—out of the garage. The big bastard
couldn’t have not heard his footsteps but acted as if he was too good for Liv
and ignored him, walking right past the green Honda, which had been
abandoned for now. Liv had better things to do than exchange
unpleasantries with more than one person.
“I wanted to thank you!”
He didn’t. But people always liked to receive gratitude, and Cyborg was
no different. He did slow down and glance at Liv with raised eyebrows. If
his artificial red eye didn’t reflect light in a way that made him look like the
next Terminator actor in costume, he would have been quite handsome,
actually. Well, to someone at least.
Liv took a deep breath as he caught up. “Yeah, Knox is doing much better
now. Thanks to you,” he admitted.
Cyborg sat down on a bench far away from the partying crowds, as if it
was normal to sit around outside in this cold.
 He unwrapped the upper part of his burrito. “Good to hear. Two holes is
enough in a man.”
Liv stood over him, unsure if he was invited to join with his own food,
and as the meaning behind Cy’s words caught up with him, he had to dig in
his heels to keep from charging the fucker. “Something you know a lot
about, I’m sure.”
Liv hated entertaining Cy, but he wouldn’t get a job around here without
gaining this bastard’s approval.
At least he was getting somewhere, because Cyborg smiled as he bit into
his wrap. “Oh, yeah, both can be real nice, and I’m sure Knox’s are. So…
you guys still open like he said?”
Bastard was doing that on purpose. Pushing word needles under Liv’s
nails as if it wasn’t enough that he’d flirted with Knox knowing damn well
Knox had been taken. He just wagged his dick about, trying to find out if he
could get someone to stick to it.
But Liv would take the high road. He’d be calm and collected. He’d not
think about Cyborg on top of Knox—
He slapped the burrito out of Cy’s hand and shoved him. His patience had
ended, and he wanted to smell blood on his knuckles, even if it got him in
trouble. “Don’t you fucking talk about him like that! You got your own
holes, huh? Fuck you!”
Cyborg stared at the food on the ground, then looked up at Liv with a
scowl. “The fuck did you just do?” he asked with the voice of a killing
machine.
Liv expected him to get up, but instead, Cyborg lashed out with one of
his arms while still seated. He yanked Liv by the front of his jacket, then
pushed him over the back of the bench. Liv’s burrito flew into the air as the
world whirred.
“I’m gonna talk about your slutty boyfriend however the fuck I like!” Cy
roared as the dusky ground sped toward Liv. He folded at the last moment,
but while he might have saved his neck from twisting, something broke
under him with the crack of glass. All senses on high alert, he rolled to his
hands and knees in time to see Cyborg’s powerful silhouette storm at him.
Words that needed to be said got stuck when he jerked back to escape a
boot meant for his ribs and leapt up, slamming his fist into the steel-hard
abs. He could feel them tighten at the contact, but the little gasp of pain Cy
uttered was unmistakable.
 “Shut your fucking face!”
Liv might be smaller than Cyborg, but he’d been in enough fights to
know being big wasn’t everything. Hell, Knox had shown him that.
“I’ll be saying whatever the fuck I want, and your dick-hungry boy was
easy pickings. I’d dump his cheating ass if I were you.”
This time, when Cyborg tried to grab him, Liv managed to pull back,
narrowly avoiding his hand. That only angered the man mountain in black,
and as Liv took a few quick steps back to flee the charge headed his way,
the world seemed to slow down.
In his blind confidence, Cyborg stepped on his fallen burrito. Squashed
under his boot, it spat out some beans and corn, then served as Liv’s ally in
the fight when Cyborg slipped on it and fell back, grabbing at air.
With victory already playing a triumphant tune in his head. Liv
descended on the fucker, about to deliver a punch straight into his fucking
face when Cy’s leg twisted around his and toppled him over. Dropping to
the ground like a log, Liv didn’t get enough time to strike before Cy pinned
him down in a chokehold.
What the fuck was this guy? A Navy Seal?
As the hands blocking his airflow remained in place and needles of fear
stabbed at Liv’s brain, he grabbed both of Cy’s wrists, fighting to force his
hands away.
He scratched at Cyborg’s massive forearm with one hand, as he blindly
tapped the ground with the other, desperately looking for a weapon. As soon
as his fingers felt an empty can, he grabbed it and started beating it against
Cy’s head, but he could barely reach it and wasn’t doing any damage.
As air became unavailable and Liv’s dizzy mind no longer cooperated, he
patted the ground, trying to signal that he was tapping out. But would this
be enough for a guy who’d shot someone in the head point-blank?
Cyborg gave his neck one more squeeze, as if in warning, but then let go,
leaving Liv to gasp for air.
Cyborg rose off him near soundlessly and walked up to the intact and
still-wrapped burrito Liv had dropped when Cy threw him to the ground. He
peeled away the aluminum foil and dug in, watching Liv lie there like the
most pathetic loser. There was something so damn infuriating in that level
stare that Liv shouted at him as soon as he could. “This doesn’t mean
you’re right! Keep his name off your lips!”
 Cyborg grunted between one bite and another. “Fine. Guess I was just
pissed off at you for the cockblocking.”
Liv rolled his eyes. “Yeah, well, it’s not cockblocking when he’s mine.
Not giving him away to some rando,” he muttered, sitting up in the dirt, still
out of breath.
He couldn’t fucking believe that this was how his attempts at getting a
job were going. But maybe… the fight cleared the tension a bit?
“I’ve seen the connection you two have when he was bleeding out. But
you can’t blame a man for trying. Knox is a damn hot piece of ass.”
This time he sounded… maybe not respectful, but appreciative instead of
offensive.
Liv exhaled, imagining how Knox would fuss over him once he returned
with bruises. He should lie to avoid him losing his temper and going after
Cy too. “He’s beautiful. And the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Cyborg watched him for a prolonged moment as he chewed. “Cute. What
do you want here tonight without him?”
Aaand, this was the moment Liv had been waiting for. Maybe Cy would
be more merciful after literally wiping the ground with Liv?
“The surgery he needs. It’s expensive.”
Cy’s eyes narrowed. “Is this a convoluted way of asking me for a job?”
Liv’s heart fluttered with hope. “Yeah.”
“Go to Walmart. I know they’re hiring,” Cy said, filling his mouth with
the burrito.
Asshole.
But Liv had no pride left and watched him pleadingly from the ground.
“Look… this is really important, and I can’t… it’s risky for me to look for
something legal.”
Cy’s shoulders dropped, and he gave a deep sigh before taking another
bite of Liv’s burrito. “I suppose we do need someone. But you’re gonna
have to work your way from the ground up.”
Liv’s heart skipped a beat, and he made his aching body move until he
was back on his feet. “I have skills. I’m a good mechanic. Better than those
guys at the garage, for sure. And I race. But… I can do anything,” he added
in response to the biker narrowing his eyes.
“Night shifts?”
“Sure,” Liv said quickly.
“Blowjobs?”
 Liv froze, staring back at him with growing disdain. “Seriously? Can’t
you leave our relationship alone?”
This time the bastard actually chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m just
fucking with you. Be here Monday evening.”
Liv stalled, trying to ignore the shame of falling for the not-so-playful
teasing. Was he… in?
“Sure. Thanks, man.”
“Just don’t bring Knox around, ‘cause you never know…” Cy gave Liv
that shark grin, but as infuriating as it was, this time Liver was pretty sure
Cy was indeed only joking around.
“I’ll make sure he never sets his eyes on you again. If he comes here,
he’ll be blindfolded.”
Cyborg laughed and grabbed himself a cigarette as if it was his dessert.
“Watch out, I might just like that.”
“You better not. Because next time, I’ll be the one to win,” Liv said and
turned on his heel, glad that maybe he’d just made an ally. Cy was not a
friend, but he supposed they’d established a truce.
At least Liv was pretty sure he’d put his point across about how off-limits
Knox was if Cyborg ever saw him again.
As Liv passed the garage again, he wondered how he’d fit in there.
Instead of working, the guys now entertained several girls who’d joined
them with music blasting from a portable speaker. He could only hope that
if Dex, Hammer, and Cyborg had a place here, he’d slot in too.
The moment he slid into the driver’s seat of their junky car, he picked
Knox’s number and waited in complete silence. He hadn’t been hopeful on
the way here, but right now, there was a radiance to his emotions, and there
was only one person he longed to share it with.
“I got a job,” he said as soon as Knox picked up.
Knox whistled and laughed. “Look at you, Little Spoon! I’m impressed.”
The praise gave Liv wings. He shifted, sitting with his knees facing the
stick, and exhaled, watching the glow of the party at the biker bar while
Knox’s melodic voice sung into his ear. “Aaand, I’m also doing the race in
December.”
This time the enthusiasm wasn’t instant. “Are you sure? Did you find out
something more about it?”
Liv sighed. “Yeah. Big prize pot. Blizzard is supposedly coming.”
“Fuuuck… He’s an aggressive driver, Liv. How big is the prize pot?”
 “He wouldn’t have come for scraps, that’s for sure,” Liv muttered,
wondering how fast the frost would come. Because if he was to do this, he
needed to practice dealing with icy roads. Something he’d never
experienced.
Knox sighed. “We don’t even have the right kind of car, Liv. I was
thinking about it, to be honest. Maybe we’ll be able to work it out by next
year?”
The corners of Liv’s mouth dropped, and as he leaned against the seat,
something bothered him, like a grain of sand inside the shoe. “We can
prepare a car. There’s more than enough time,” he said, reaching to his
back, seeking the cause of his discomfort.
“It’s just… it’s dangerous, Liv.”
“So is you waiting for the surgery for any longer than necessary,” Liv
said, frowning when he felt a rip in the fabric, and then touched something
hard. Glass?
Goddamn it.
He pushed the phone between his shoulder and ear but pulled the jacket
off, watching the smokers laugh at a joke he wasn’t a part of.
In his former life, he’d been a part of every joke, one way or another, so
being back here, as just an observer, made him feel… lonely despite Knox
waiting for him at the junkyard. “But… I also kinda feel like this is the
moment to establish ourselves here. If we wait too long, people will already
have an idea about who we are. And I don’t like being a nobody.”
“Liv. You’re not. You’re good at so many things. And getting to know
people? Shit… It’s been so crazy since we left California, it wasn’t even on
my radar.”
Well, it was on Liv’s.
He thrived on attention, and back when his mom passed out on the sofa
with a needle in her arm and Dad was away doing God-knows-what,
clowning around was what made others notice him. Life felt somehow
hollow without more people in it, no matter how much Liv needed Knox
and how much he enjoyed getting to know their new buddies at the
junkyard.
He needed to be seen, appreciated, even hated, but he needed people to
know of him.
“I felt transparent when I came in today. People looked my way and then
ignored me for the most part. Like I didn’t fully exist anymore,” Liv said,
removing the jacket. “Back home, I was someone people wanted to be
around. Who they respected. And here, nobody knows I’m good with cars,
or that I can juggle bottles when I’m drunk, and that I’m great at racing. It’s
pissing me off,” he muttered before rubbing his face when he turned the
jacket and saw a piece of glass tangled into the fabric at the torn back.
When he’d fought Cyborg, people must have seen them from afar, yet no
one came to help him out or even question what was going on.
“Oh, Liv… I get it. It’s tough being in a new place. On the other hand, we
also don’t have the baggage of people knowing how we grew up or who our
shitty parents are. You’re the hot, new mysterious guy, and at that race,
you’ll be the underdog who wins out of the blue. People will remember
that. We’ll sort out the car, and I’ll be double-checking everything from
brakes to engine.”
Funny that Liv’s insecurities were what changed Knox’s mind, not the
fact that he needed that fucking surgery. But Liv would take it and play up
his discomfort if it made Knox compliant. He’d do whatever it took to make
Knox better. “Of course I’ll win. With you cheering me on? Easy.”
Knox laughed. “You think Frank will be pissed off we’re doing this?”
Liv shrugged, pulling out the two shards tangled in the fabric, and he
tossed them to the back of the vehicle. “I’m my own man.”
“Yeah, and Frank is the man we’ll be buying a new car off.”
Liv shut his eyes, counting to five. He hated it when Knox confronted
him with reality, and he really didn’t want to think about it right now.
“Knox? Don’t be mad. I ruined your jacket. Ripped it at the back.”
“No! What did you do?”
Liv sighed, looking at the slashed fabric. He wasn’t about to tell Knox
about his fight with Cyborg, because the less that man was on Knox’s mind,
the better. “I slipped and fell over on a broken bottle.”
“What the fuck? Are you okay?”
“Yeah, but the jacket—”
Knox laughed. “Oh, man, I wish I’d seen. You must have been like a
cartoon character. It’s fine, Liv. I’ll just get some cool patch to cover that
spot.”
Liv smiled to himself. With Knox, nothing was too hard, or too much of a
problem.
With Knox, Liv would be winning that race.
“See you home.”
OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 34

Knox

IT WAS DIFFICULT FOR Knox to sit on his hands while Liv worked two
jobs, underslept, and still reassured him that it was all fine and dandy. So he
resumed working at the junkyard as soon as his shoulder allowed. Frank
hadn’t been sure of his usefulness, but in the end he allowed Knox to join
Jag in endless scouring through mountains of scrap.
At first, Knox had been apprehensive about spending so much time with a
weirdo who’d pointed a spear at him when they first met, but Jag had grown
on him faster than he would have imagined. When not in combat mode, Jag
turned out to be a fun person to be around. He’d even made Knox a hat. The
deerstalker was made of fur and leather and didn’t exactly fit his style, but it
kept his ears toasty.
Jag also had in depth knowledge of the vast junkyard and was more than
happy to share details of the dangers and points of interest among the acres
of land belonging to Frank.
He’d taken Knox to a place he called the car graveyard, and the name was
accurate, because the amount of abandoned, rusted, dead vehicles had at
first overwhelmed Knox. He’d spent lots of time there, scouring the metal
bodies for parts. Sometimes with Jag, sometimes alone, but there wasn’t a
day when he didn’t find something interesting. He could then either bring
the items to Frank, which could be especially lucrative if the part came
from a rare car, or keep it for Liv’s race car, which they’d christened
Impreza in honor of the Subaru they’d had to drown.
As predicted, Frank had not been happy to hear about Liv taking part in
illegal racing, but his nephew, Dex, came through by becoming an
“investor” as he liked to call it. He’d given them an okay-ish car they still
needed to fix up, for a stake in the race winnings. At least that meant he
believed in Liv’s chances. Which was kind of naive, since Dex had never
seen Liv race, but you didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.
Still, the closer they were to the race in December, the more apprehensive
Knox became about Liv not only competing against a star known for
recklessness but also doing so in conditions he wasn’t used to. It hadn’t
snowed yet, but Thanksgiving greeted Knox with frosty weather, offering
little hope that global warming would suddenly strike and heat up their
corner of the planet within the next two weeks.
And while Liv had attempted to learn how to deal with ice under the
wheels by reading up on it, talking to people, and visualizing dangerous
situations during the race, it was all theoretical. If nothing changed, he
wouldn’t have any real experience by judgment day.
Knox was sick to his stomach just thinking about the risk of Liv’s getting
into a serious crash, but he knew better than to try swaying Liv’s plans and
instead focused on helping him rest by keeping the house in good condition,
making sure they had nice food to eat, and giving Liv all the attention he
needed in the very rare moments when he allowed himself to do nothing.
Which wasn’t often.
So tonight, Knox was making him stay home. He’d called the MC and
secretly arranged a night off for him. In the past few days, he’d restored a
massive old barbecue grill and he’d be treating all their friends and Liv to
as many rabbits and rabbit burgers as they could eat. Ezra had offered to
cook the turkey, and he was bringing it straight from his fancy oven within
the next hour. Which was a blessing not only because it would surely be
delicious, but because Knox didn’t have the money to buy enough meat for
ten people. He did make a whole pot of potato mash though, and the other
guys were each bringing something to the Thanksgiving feast. Jag had
helped Knox set up a simple tent above the tables taken from one of the
many piles of discarded furniture, so they’d be fine in case of rain.
All planned behind Liv’s back.
 Unless, of course, Dex didn’t manage to keep his big mouth shut, but that
was out of Knox’s hands. If Liv knew about the preparations, he didn’t let it
show when he left for his first shift early in the morning.
It had been hours since, and now that it got dark, Frank and Dane, Jag’s
mate, had erected a massive bonfire that made the cold a bit more bearable.
They could have all gathered in Frank’s home, or Shane’s, but it was
Thanksgiving and Knox wanted all the guys to feel his gratitude. Besides,
meat grilled over charcoal was Liv’s favorite food, and since this was a
special day, and Liv’s first whole evening off in a month, that was exactly
what he’d get.
Knox checked the temperature of the coals by hovering his hand above
them before glancing at the meat marinating in many Tupperware
containers. Liv had already let him know he was coming over for dinner
soon, which meant it was time to get on with the grilling.
He still couldn’t believe some days that this really was his life. Sure, he
was still wanted by the cops, still struggled with a heart condition, and
barely had any money to his name, but he had Liv. Liver Polk was his
boyfriend and wasn’t afraid to show it in every touch and cuddle even when
they were too tired for an elaborate fuck session. It worked. Felt natural.
And Knox would work his ass off to make sure their relationship worked
out.
“You caught all these?” Jag asked, sneaking up on him.
Knox stood a bit taller. “Yep, used the traps the way you showed me.”
The killing was another matter. He couldn’t make himself do it and, in the
end, had taken the traps to Frank.
Jag’s head bobbed as he gave a fervent nod before tightening the folds of
his fur coat, complete with a cape of squirrel tails. “I didn’t think you had it
in you. But you’re a faster learner than anyone here.” He narrowed his eyes
and looked back at their friends, who sat huddled together, chatting about
something Dane needed to get on Black Friday. “Ros told me trapping
rabbits is cruel. Well, he sure doesn’t have a problem eating them, does
he?”
Knox laughed. “At least these bunnies had a good life and a quick death.
I never thought I’d be catching my own food, but it feels good. Junkyard to
table.”
Jag put his hands on his hips, as if he were the overseer of Knox’s
grilling. “My father taught me how to do these things. It’s important to
know how to survive in the wild.”
Seemed it was important even when not in the wild when one had as little
cash as Liv and Knox.
“My dad never taught me anything like this. Only helped me train
kickboxing, but he got more punches in than me.”
Jag hummed, watching Knox with a frown. “Did you have to fight for
food?”
Knox snorted. “Only with Liv.”
“Not anymore,” Jag said, gesturing at the meat. “Where I’m from,
sometimes we had plenty of food, but my father would only give out so
many rations. To build character and make us more determined to hunt and
forage. If you didn’t pull your weight, you didn’t eat.”
“Do you think it’s a good thing?” Knox asked, a little freaked out.
Jag shook his head right away. “I would never let my mate and pups go
hungry or cold. He just enjoyed it. Knowing he had power over everyone.”
Knox started putting the meat on the grill, but he did glance back to
Dane, Jag’s mate. He was an unusual-looking guy with half his head blond,
half brown, one eye blue, one dark. Round, and happily munching on
pretzels, he was definitely not in any way oppressed by his lover. Though
he too wore a fur coat Jag surely had given him to ensure that he wasn’t
freezing in useless modern jackets.
“So you don’t miss your family?”
Jag shrugged, and the fire reflected in his eyes, making them appear
wilder. “Some of them. Many turned on me when they found out I don’t
want to mate with women. It was a community in the woods, and it had its
own... rules. We lived according to laws of nature. But wanting to have a
male mate is my nature. They just wouldn’t accept that.”
“I’m sorry, must have been a rough time for you.” Knox said, ashamed
that he’d felt so sorry for himself when Jag had to change his entire life in
many more ways.
Jag shook his head. “It’s been a few winters now, I’ve adjusted.” He
glanced to the table with a smile. “This is my pack now.”
Knox followed his gaze to Ros sitting in Shane’s lap with his long
flowing hair braided and adorned with bits of ribbon, to Frank arguing with
Dex over how to attach a lamp to a tent pole, and even to Hammer sitting
silently with a beer and writing something down in a notebook.
 He understood what Jag meant. These men were here to celebrate
together, everyone chipped in, and no one came just on a promise of free
booze and burgers. That was already more than Knox had back in
California.
Dane had loving parents and siblings he and Jag would visit later, but for
everyone else, this small circle of friends were the closest family they had.
Knox didn’t need to be here for a long time to realize that those bonds were
real, and if he and Liv stayed, the same friendship would be extended to
them. It was already happening, as evidenced by all the things everyone
gathered had done for them, often not expecting anything in return.
The two strays who ended up in their backyard needed care. So they
provided it.
Frank had spent several afternoons with Knox, teaching him about guns
and how to aim better. It had been reminiscent of the kind of father-son
activities often shown in movies, but unlike Knox’s actual dad, Frank didn’t
get into fits of rage when Knox made mistakes. Ezra had taught him how to
ferment vegetables, and which herbs went with the rabbit. Ros had painted
blue and green flames on their car, and Dane, who was an IT whizz, showed
them how to import all their emails and photos from various accounts
without getting that traced back to them.
Knox felt more at home here than he ever did at his actual home. Here,
not only no one batted an eye at him being in a relationship with another
man but even supported it. After years of hiding, he could let go and be the
person he’d always been inside. He could only hope that Liv would grow to
feel the same way.
The beep of a text brought Knox back to reality. “He’s coming, guys!”
Knox said and quickly placed bits of meat on the grate before pushing back
his hair to look his best. Loud music erupted up close, and Knox froze,
watching Dex step onto the bench Hammer sat on with a portable speaker in
hand. He wore a bright orange jacket, as if this was a rave, and whistled,
pointing at the bright glow appearing far off, between two mounds of old
tires.
Knox handed Jag the tongs. “Keep an eye on the meat, okay?”
For a moment Jag looked perplexed but then nodded with a serious
expression. “It will be perfect.”
Knox walked out from under the tent and stood in front of the bonfire
with a big smile and his hands in his pockets. He couldn’t wait to see Liv’s
face.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 35

Liv

LIV WAS EXHAUSTED.

He hadn’t had a single day off in a month, he’d only gotten four hours of
sleep last night, because he’d needed Knox too much to not make out with
him until late, and to top that off, he’d accidentally cut the tip of his index
finger, spraying blood everywhere. It had been weirdly gruesome for an
injury so small, but Cy claimed it would mend itself as long as Liv made
sure the dressing pressed the loose flesh to the rest of his finger. Which was
yuck, and bulky, and uncomfortable, but he’d survive.
Knox was to spend Thanksgiving dinner at Frank’s but they would share
a meal before Liv had to drive off for his second shift of the day. He tried to
not get upset over being on his own on a holiday. Such was life, but
knowing that all his friends would be out there, spending quality time
together, while he walked the perimeter of the motorcycle club property in
the cold did get to him, no matter how hard he tried to pretend that it didn’t.
His birth family hadn’t given him a good example of how one should
spend time on a day like this one. Mom was absent half the time. Dad
couldn’t even get Liv a cage for the hamster he gave him for Christmas
many years ago. It ended with the poor thing being accidentally squashed
by a guest a couple of days later as it freely ran around the floor. Still, there
would always be at least a special pizza on the table, or ice cream.
Sometimes, if both of Liv’s parents were in decent shape, they would even
all watch a movie.
And once Liv’s dad got together with Knox’s mom, they’d always met up
on Christmas or Thanksgiving.
It would be lonely without Knox tonight.
Liv was deep in his thoughts when a cloud of billowing smoke made the
hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
That was where their trailer was. Where Knox was.
He pushed on the pedal to accelerate beyond reason and made the turn
toward their home, sending gravel in all directions. But as he dashed past
the bend and hit the brakes, ready to leap out and run into the flames,
several hands rose, waving at him from around a bonfire with flames as tall
as a grown man.
He sank into the seat, overcome with relief. Everyone was here, Frank,
Jag with Dane, Shane with Ros, even Dex and Hammer. As his eyes
focused on the scene, he took note of a large table set up with various
plates, bowls, and bottles, and a massive barbeque grill standing close to the
trailer.
Knox spread his arms with a wide smile as soon as Liv got out of the car.
“Ta-dah!”
The bright glow illuminated his face, he wore his hair in a ponytail, and
his eyes shone at Liv with glee.
Liv once again glanced at the big table, unsure what this was. The music
streaming from a speaker resting on a bench against Dex’s hip didn’t make
anything clearer. “Are you… partying?” The without me was silent, because
while he would never ban Knox from enjoying himself when he could, but
he’d counted on an hour of alone time. He felt numb with disappointment
when Knox gave him a tight hug.
“No. We are partying,” Knox said, pulling away enough to look into Liv’s
face. “I got you the night off and arranged for everyone to come to ours.
I’ve got rabbit on the grill, I made potato mash, and Ezra’s coming with
turkey any minute now.”
Liv’s thoughts came to an abrupt halt, and he rested his hands on his hips.
“You what? Went behind my back?” After a glance Frank’s way, Liv
lowered his voice leaning in. “You know we need all the cash we can get.”
Deep down, Liv welcomed this change, because yes, he missed being
able to have fun, but he had obligations. He’d committed to saving Knox at
all cost, and couldn’t afford the club thinking twice before giving him work.
Knox's expression soured, and he rolled his eyes as if this wasn't a big
deal. "Come on… It's just one night. It won’t change much.”
Not really, because the club paid double for holiday shifts.
Liv nodded toward the trailer. “Can we have a word?”
Disappointment passed over Knox’s features, drawing Liv into the sad
depths of his eyes. This was meant to be a nice surprise. And Liv had ruined
it by not being happy.
“Sure,” Knox muttered and led the way past their friends. The scent of
meat was making Liv salivate, but as desperately as he wanted to relax with
his man and friends, the money for Knox’s surgery should take priority over
everything else. Was this… sabotage?
Liv let him go inside first and then closed the door behind them, his
tongue dry as he stepped into the kitchen area and met Knox’s gaze.
“Why?” He asked as soon as they were alone.
Knox stuffed his hands down his pockets and avoided his gaze. “What do
you not like?”
Fuck.
“Look, I can see you thought this was a good idea, but you should have
talked to me first. They were going to pay me double for tonight, and now
someone else is going to snatch that gig.”
“Yeah, but that’s not the only point of your life, and you’re gonna win the
race next month anyway.”
Liv dragged his hands down his face, increasingly antsy, as if fire was
climbing up his legs. “It might not be enough. The surgery needs to be a
priority, and every bit counts. Not to mention that I might not win,” he
added as a sense of doom settled in his chest, making his body heavy as
lead.
Knox looked up with fire in his eyes. “Okay, so maybe you won’t. Then
we’ll find another way to get the money. My shoulder’s better every day,
and I need you for more than just earning more cash.”
Liv stalled, breathing deeply to calm down, because Knox clearly had
good intentions. “Right now, it is what I should focus on.”
Knox stepped closer and slid his hands to Liv’s cheeks, his eyes bright
and wild, as if there were burning pits somewhere at the bottom of his
pupils. “No. You are important to me. You’re already working so much. I
don’t want to regret time not spent together. Life can’t be just surviving,
Liv.”
The touch, while warm, made Liv freeze with indecision. “Are you
saying that… you just want me here?” he asked softly.
“No. I need you here.” Knox stroked his face with his thumbs and leaned
in for a kiss. “You do so much already. You gotta let me take care of you. I
can’t get it out of my head that you said you felt like a nobody. You’re not.
You’re my somebody. And you’ve got friends here too. You matter.”
Warmth enveloped Liv like a charm cast by Knox’s sweet lips, and he
pulled him close, letting himself enjoy this moment as the earlier anger
simmered down. “I’m sorry. I try to always have time for you. Every day.”
“You do more than enough. But I need you to enjoy life with me too, not
just see me as a problem to fix.” When Knox hugged him, Liv gave himself
into his care, knowing that there was nothing he wanted more than to be
needed by this man. Always. Forever. To never ever disappoint him.
But it seemed he’d done it again.
“You’re not a problem,” he whispered, turning his face so he could bury
it in the blond hair smelling of mint and familiarity. He felt at home with
Knox, no matter where they were, and maybe there was some truth to what
he was saying? Maybe Liv had been so focused on solving an issue that he
forgot that they both only had so much time? He took a deep breath of
Knox. “I’m just… so powerless. I keep thinking what happens if I don’t win
the race. If you can’t have the surgery on time. And when I work… I know
I’m not earning thousands an hour, but at least I’m doing something, you
know?”
“I know. I get it. But please be with me too. If there’s another shootout
one day, if something goes sideways, I don’t want either of us ending up
thinking of the time we didn’t spend together when we could have. And
you’re going back to work tomorrow. Let me treat you, okay? Enjoy the
evening, because we don’t get many like this.”
The ache deep in Liv’s chest made him fall deeper into Knox’s arms as
guilt coiled around them, souring the sense of closeness. It was impossible
not to think back to the time when Knox lay injured and bleeding and Liv
had no idea how the night would end.
He never wanted to go through anything like it again.
“Okay,” he mumbled, pressing a kiss to Knox’s warm neck, desperate to
make up for his initial reaction.
 Knox entwined his fingers with Liv’s, but then abruptly pulled back and
lifted Liv’s hand. “What’s this? What happened?” he asked, pointing to the
dressing on Liv’s finger.
Liv scowled. The truth was too embarrassing. “Nothing. Just a flesh
wound, and all that.”
Liv’s heart sped up when Knox pulled his hand to his lips and kissed it.
“Be careful next time. I really like your fingers.”
“Just never let me cut salad, and we’ll be golden,” Liv said with a shake
of his head. “Fortunately, it’s the left hand, and these can still do magic,”
Liv said, wiggling his fingers in front of Knox’s face.
“No salad cutting. Noted. Let’s go see how Jag is doing with my rabbit.
You good?” Knox asked, squeezing his hand and looking straight into Liv’s
eyes. The new kind of connection they’d forged since leaving California
was raw. Pure. Electric.
It was like nothing Liv had ever felt, yet it no longer scared him. He’d
work until his skin rubbed off his hands to make sure Knox was safe. He’d
beg, borrow, steal, lie, cheat, or kill to get him that surgery.
Because Knox was everything to him. Making him smile was Liv’s
reason to keep on living, and when Knox’s eyes sparked at him with awe,
he felt like he could race a Formula 1 driver in an old van and still win.
“I love you.”
Knox’s expression softened, shining in a way Liv was usually terrified of
seeing. Not this time.
Knox snorted and playfully punched Liv’s shoulder with his cheeks
flushing. He was so fucking beautiful. “I love you too, Little Spoon.” A
nickname he only ever used when they were alone. Initially, Liv had been
self-conscious about it, but it expressed that Knox knew him better than
anyone. That they belonged together and gave each other everything.
He dove in for the softest of kisses, shivering when Knox’s long lashes
tickled his cheek. He felt so much lighter now that he’d confessed his
feelings. “That… that was the right moment.”
“Oh, yeah? Were you rehearsing for a long time? Making a list of my
pros and cons?” Knox laughed and slid his hands into the back pockets of
Liv’s jeans as they kissed again.
Liv chuckled and pulled Knox’s head to his shoulder, cradling him to
caress his jawline. It was as if weights that he’d been carrying at all times
have suddenly dropped and he might just float up like a helium balloon.
“Not really. I just say what I feel, babe.”
Knox smiled and opened his mouth, but a series of car honks outside
made him back out of Liv’s embrace. “That must be Ezra! He’s got the
turkey!”
His excitement disarmed Liv. There was no other choice but to submit to
this Thanksgiving ambush, and right now Liv couldn’t understand why he’d
been upset in the first place.
Maybe Knox was right and he’d gotten so wrapped up in the idea of
saving him that he forgot how necessary it was to be with him when it
mattered. “Oh man, remember how my mom came over one Thanksgiving,
convinced us to spend it with her, and then bought heroin for the cash I
gave her for the turkey? Dark meat had never been as good as the bits Mr.
Walters gave us out of pity.”
Knox laughed, even though the memory had so much darkness in it.
What else could they do when that had been their reality?
“Jesus Christ. I must have eaten ten biscuits with gravy and then gotten
sick. But you were there to nurse me. Even if reluctantly.” He winked at Liv
and walked out.
Ezra was standing next to his car as Frank lifted the steaming turkey out
of the trunk.
“It’s done,” Ezra said with a flush and wiped away a strand of hair
sticking to his forehead.
“Hell yes! I’m so damn hungry!” Dex yelled.
Frank looked to Liv with a smile. “You’re right on time. First night off in
forever, eh?”
Liv smirked, pulling Knox close by the waist. They approached the fire,
which livened up the messy piles of junk, but also all their faces, providing
more than enough warmth to sit outside in comfort. “Fortunately, Knox
took matters out of my hands.”
The smile he got from Knox was filled with so much love and tenderness
Liv’s whole chest felt light, and he promised himself that just tonight, he
wouldn’t be thinking about money, the surgery, or the piles of work on his
plate.
“I need to check on the rabbit,” Knox said and gave him one more kiss
before joining Jag at the grill.
 Shane nodded at him with a grin. “It was so hard to keep this secret.”
They often worked together at the junkyard, and Shane managed to keep his
mouth shut. Which somehow both made him a great and terrible friend.
“I feel duped. And blind,” Liv said, sitting on one of the empty benches
while Frank and Ezra arranged the food in front of them.
The feast filled the table to the brim. Sweet potatoes, carrots, gravy, pies,
a pot with a sticky note stating Dex’s Thanksgiving Ramen, and a salad of
mixed veggies.
Dex whistled, wrapped around Hammer like a sloth around a tree. “That’s
nothing. I once had this guy invite me over for sex, but when I arrived there
were several men there that he failed to mention. So yeah, I planned to be
out of there in twenty minutes but had only finished them all at three in the
morning.”
Liv stared at him, frozen. “Are you… okay? When was that?”
Hammer stroked Dex’s back. “Before me, obviously. I would have dealt
with those people differently.”
Liv decided not to question any of it and glanced at the fancy-looking
square plate from a set he recognized from Ezra and Frank’s home. His
crooked reflection in its polished surface seemed to wink, and he looked up,
trying to ignore the intense scent of meat until he was allowed to have it. He
focused on the stormy face of the man sitting across the table.
Liv had seen Hammer at the clubhouse many times, and had even worked
on his car once, but the guy remained a mystery. Some of the other bikers
seemed to fear him, or at the very least have mad respect for him, and while
present at the party, he remained quiet next to his loudmouthed boyfriend.
And yet, he was as welcome as everyone else, yet another member of this
strange family made of castoffs and outsiders.
Ezra slapped Dex’s hand when it reached for a turkey leg. He looked
ridiculously out of place in an elegant woolen coat and a plaid scarf. And
yet, Liv couldn’t imagine him not being here either. “Wait for the rabbit! I
want to take a photo when everything’s on the table!”
“Coming!” Knox yelled from the grill, already stacking the pieces of
meat on a large plate.
Just seeing him come closer with that steaming pile had Liv salivating for
more than one reason. He clapped. “Bravo for the master of the barbeque.
Man, I can’t wait to dig in.”
 “Photos first,” Ezra reminded him with a camera in hand, standing at the
head of the table, where he’d sit next to Frank.
“Yes, smile, honey,” Dex said, kneeling on the bench and holding
Hammer close. Lo and behold, the stormy-faced bastard looked quite
handsome when his features relaxed.
Liv pulled on Knox’s hand as soon as the rabbit was on the table, and
embraced him, excited by the realization that this would be their first photo
as a couple. He kissed the back of Knox’s head and whispered it into his
ear.
Dex let out a big sigh. “Look at us, one big, happy family. Frank’s
everyone’s dad, Shane’s the moody uncle, you guys are the two cousins
from abroad—”
“What about you and Hammer?” Liv asked as they sat down, racing for
the best pieces of meat. Liv made sure to snatch a turkey leg for Knox, and
dropped it onto his plate.
Dex shrugged. “The cool first cousin and his super-hot fiancé.”
You could have heard a spoon drop in the sudden silence.
“You… you never said you were engaged,” Ezra said eventually,
squeezing Frank’s shoulder.
“Oh, I asked him a while ago, but we don’t have anything set up yet,”
Dex said. “I wanted to get married in an inflatable castle kind of thing,
thought it would be really funny if guests kept falling over, but Hammer
wasn’t too keen on that.”
Hammer cleared his throat, keeping his eyes on the portion of sweet
potato resting on his plate. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing it properly. At
the clubhouse.”
And was that… a flush on his cheeks? Adorable.
“And me?” Jag sat up in excitement, holding a piece of meat with both
hands as he ate.
Dex grinned. “You’re obviously the family guard dog. Which makes
Dane your bitch.”
Dane frowned, cocking his head as if he wasn’t sure if he’d heard him
right. “Excuse me?”
“Dex, what the hell?” Frank barked and slapped the back of his head,
ignoring the glare of death thrown his way by Hammer. “Apologize!”
Dex spread his arms, laughing. “What? I’m just saying it like it is!”
 “You take that back!” Jag yelled, dropping his food and jumping to his
feet.
“No! It’s funny!” Dex bolted from behind the table when Jag reached for
him.
Shane sniggered, leaning to Liv. “Oh, this is gonna be good.”
Not having any stakes in the sudden conflict, Liv focused on the flavor of
his food and met Knox’s gaze from up close as the two figures passed back
and forth on the edge of his vision, chasing each other around the table.
“What’s a family holiday without a bit of fighting, right?” he whispered
before letting his eyes roll back at the first bite of grilled rabbit. “Oh my
god, Knox, this is so good!”
“And it’s the ones I caught too,” Knox said proudly, stuffing his face.
“Made me feel all manly and shit.”
A spark of joy warmed Liv on the inside, and he nudged Knox with his
shoulder, “I never had any doubts about your manliness, babe. Not with the
way you take care of me,” he said, nodding at their feast.
“We’re gonna have leftovers for days. It’s gonna be either turkey or rabbit
sandwiches for you.” Knox nuzzled Liv’s cheek just as Jag caught Dex,
trying to make him apologize.
Liv couldn’t have felt calmer and more accepted. Here he was, with his
boyfriend, his love, and not worried about anyone judging them. It made
him realize, he didn’t give a shit if people knew he was bi or not. Those
who mattered did, and anyone else? They could go fuck themselves.
He needed a place where he and Knox could be themselves and not worry
about someone judging them for kissing or holding hands. And they found
it. This could be their home. And if being around all the other guys already
felt so natural, so freeing, then it could only get better. Maybe they’d
become cousins not-from-abroad, but the kind who popped in every day for
a little chat?
“I’m gonna add wood to the bonfire,” Knox said and licked his fingers,
getting up. As tempting as the food was, Liv didn’t want to leave his man’s
side for a second tonight. He rose, grabbing Knox’s hand on the way to the
burning wood pile.
“I’ll make sure you don’t overexert yourself,” he joked, patting Knox’s
ass.
Knox grinned. “Too late. I brought the tables here, and everything. You
deserve this for putting up with my shit.”
 A brief laugh erupted from Liv’s chest. “Your shit? Are you kidding? You
literally saved my life. I’m only giving back,” he said, watching the buzzing
flames.
He didn’t let Knox pick up a massive log on his own, and they threw it
into the fire together. Knox then wrapped his arms around Liv’s neck,
rocking to the smooth music Ezra turned on while Dex was arguing with
Jag.
“We can stay here, right?” Knox asked, his denim blue eyes reflecting the
sparks rising from the fire. He was breathtaking, and Liv would do anything
for him.
Literally anything. Even take part in a scary fucking race in winter.
“Yes. We can get a better trailer in the future, or even a house. Just ours,
with a big bed and a shower that can fit us both,” Liv whispered before
pressing his lips to Knox’s so he could drink up any uncertainty Knox might
still harbor.
“And a dog? Ros said he’d give me a discount on one of their Rottweiler
puppies…”
He might just find a little furball under the Christmas tree.
Liv grinned, so lightheaded he felt slightly drunk on all this joy. “And a
dog.”
Knox’s mouth stretched into a smile when a little white particle settled on
his nose. It was only when it melted that Liv leaned back, glancing into the
sky.
The snow came out of nowhere, falling in a flurry, as if an invisible hand
scattered them over the junkyard, wanting to spice things up.
Knox’s grin widened as he looked up in excitement. “My first snow!”
Liv stroked Knox’s back. He didn’t want to spoil the moment, but all he
could think of was the risk of this happening during the race.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 36

Knox

ON THE DAY OF the race, the sky was the color of dread—a stormy gray
that left little room for hope. The fumes of motor oil and gasoline were so
dense that Knox was developing a headache, but this was not a time for
weakness. Liv needed him, and if Knox couldn’t convince him to forfeit the
competition, he had to be there for him.
Knox was so tense, he decided to go get a look at the competition while
Liv tinkered with something under the hood. Knox had already double and
triple checked everything from engine to wheels, but everyone had their
pre-racing ritual, and this was Liv’s.
Knox hoped for a clear sky, but the snowfall started in the hour preceding
the competition.
Which would probably not be a problem for a guy nicknamed Blizzard’,
but Liv? He was a California boy. And Frank had warned them that the kind
of weather they were experiencing now—just warm enough to melt the
surface of the ice that had formed prior—was the most treacherous. Knox
had experienced it first-hand just that morning, when he’d stepped out of
the trailer, only to find himself on his ass.
A jagged rock formed in Knox’s throat as he glanced toward Blizzard,
who stood by his fancy car, with one arm around the waist of a woman so
attractive she could have put on a pair of high heels and stepped straight
onto the runway. A flurry of crew fussed around him, checking every single
thing, and a man looking suspiciously like the rapper Lil Ka$$ chatted to
Blizzard like an old friend.
The tuning on that silver blue machine was surely insane, and the rest of
the competition would be left fighting one another long after the star of the
show crossed the finish line, endangering their lives for nothing but pride.
Blizzard didn’t need the winnings the way Knox and Liv did. He took
part in these illegal races for the thrill and clout. Which, okay, were
important too, but not as essential as survival.
Knox wanted a smoke so bad, but if Liv found out, he’d be stressing
about Knox’s heart instead of focusing on winning the race, so Knox bit the
inside of his cheek and tried to distract himself.
A group of girls passed him, on their way to become part of Blizzard’s
entourage.
“Last year, two people crashed, and one of them had his leg amputated.
Wonder what will happen today!” one of the girls chattered, leaving Knox
stunned.
The chill in the air froze even his bones, and all of a sudden, he was back
to square one, not wanting Liv to race at all. If something happened to him,
how would Knox ever forgive himself?
Wind blew over the flat landscape of the former airport now owned by
the MC, making him pull up the collar of the jacket Liv had gotten for him
on their first date. His brain was turning into soup, and he could almost
sense it splashing around in his skull as stiff feet carried him to where the
competing vehicles were parked.
“Hey Knox, wish Liv good luck from us!” said the owner of a hand that
patted Knox’s shoulder out of nowhere. It took him a whole two seconds to
focus and see Ros and Shane standing in front of him.
Looking cozy in their winter clothes, they both offered him bright smiles,
as if they didn’t understand that Liv’s life was on the line tonight.
“Oh, yeah, just make sure you bet big, ‘cause he’s winning,” Knox said
with a grin, because maybe if he said it enough times, he could charm the
universe into making it happen. “Is Frank here yet?”
Ros and Shane exchanged tense glances, and in the end, Shane spread his
arms, capturing Knox’s gaze. “You know he thinks this is a crazy thing to
do, considering that Liv only had two weeks to get used to the ice and
snow.”
 “Ezra said they’ll come. They’ll be here,” Ros added.
Knox took a deep breath, trying to not think about Frank’s disapproval.
“Liv has an instinct for this. When he drives, he feels the car, you know?
Sorry, I gotta go. I need to see him before the race,” he said and gave them a
quick wave.
The presence of their friends wouldn’t change the outcome of the race,
but it was still nice to know someone else cared about Liv’s fate. The brief
conversation had also stopped Knox from descending deeper into the well
of self-pity and fear. Liv needed support tonight, not doubts.
Knox stepped between the participating vehicles, his gaze pinned to the
blue and green flames Ros had painted on their car. Just as he was about to
speed up and check why he couldn’t see Liv anywhere, someone shoved
him out of nowhere.
“Look who it is!”
He looked back with a scowl, only to meet the gaze of the fucker he’d
gotten into a fight with two months back, during his first visit here. Knox
spread his arms, happy about this unexpected attack, because maybe this
bastard could help him get rid of the steam making his skin feel
uncomfortably tight. “You got a problem? Maybe call your friends over,
like last time?”
Ha. Knox didn’t see anyone. Bastard was on his own, and if that were the
case during their previous confrontation, this guy’s nose might have been
crooked today.
The asshole pushed back his limp hair and scowled, taking a step closer.
“I eat little worms like you for breakfast,” he said, standing a bit straighter
to show that he was taller than Knox.
But that was no biggie. Knox had felled meaner bastards than this one.
The green Honda’s driver looked out of the vehicle. “This fucker again?
He got a problem, Bill? You looking for some bruising, pretty boy? So you
look even uglier than your buddy’s car?”
Knox shoved Bill on the hood. “He’s not my ‘buddy’, he’s my fucking
boyfriend, and he doesn’t have to endanger anyone to impress people with
his driving skills!”
The men stilled, as if they couldn’t believe he admitted to being with
another man, but in the end the driver cackled, stepping out of the vehicle.
The lamp above made his bald head shine like a steel helmet, and when he
squared his shoulders, wrapping his arms on his chest, he appeared almost
as tall as Frank.
“You know the stick needs to be polished before each race. For luck. You
done that already?”
Blood poisoned with fury flooded Knox’s brain, and when Bill attempted
to grab him, he dashed toward the driver. Might as well eliminate one car
out of the competition before it even started.
“I’ll be putting a stick in your skull, motherfucker!” he yelled, grabbing
the baldie by the ear and kicking him in the stomach.
“That’s fucking cheating! He’s about to race,” Bill roared, but when Knox
ducked, the bastard slipped on the mud and almost fell over while Knox
took a few steps back, his blood fizzing with the need that grew ever hotter.
He raised his fists, holding them in front of his face and steadied himself on
his feet.
“So? Don’t start a fight if you’re afraid of a punch!”
Liv appeared in front of him out of nowhere. The scent of his cologne
was so soothing that one deep breath made Knox’s fury simmer down a bit,
replacing it with anticipation. It was now two on two, and they could win
this scrap. Easily.
But Liv’s hand captured Knox’s fist, and their fingers entwined.
“Nervous?” he asked the driver, who bared his teeth like a rabid animal.
“You’re the one who’s siccing your chihuahua on us. Still time to forfeit
and go for some piña coladas.”
Knox took a step forward, ready for blood, but Liv held on to his hand
with a mean smirk. “Homophobic jokes. So damn original. You’re afraid
you’re gonna lose to me, aren’t you?”
Baldie rolled his eyes and spat on the ground. “Not in that piece of junk.”
Liv shook his head. “I’ll see you out on the asphalt. Where it actually
counts,” he said, and pulled Knox along.
Knox spoke as soon as they were out of earshot. “Sorry. It’s just when
that Bill guy opens his fucking mouth I wanna see his teeth on the ground.”
He still felt a little nervous holding Liv’s hand in public, but he also
couldn’t help the pride swelling in his chest. A guy like Liver chose him
over anyone else and wasn’t afraid to show it. He wasn’t acting any
different than when out with his girlfriends, as if there was no shame in
being with Knox. As if he wanted people to know.
 Leaving the two pieces of shit behind, they walked past all the other cars
and racers, finally arriving at their vehicle, which was parked at the very
end, between the car of a driver everyone predicted might not even reach
the finish line and a shed.
It was only then that Liv pulled Knox behind their vehicle and gently
pushed him at its side.
“You been fighting for my honor or yours?” he asked, starting to speak
louder halfway through the sentence, when a nearby speaker blasted hip
hop music.
Knox shook his head. “Our car’s, I guess.” He snorted and stroked the
blue flames on the hood. The other day, they went to Frank’s pile of random
used clothes, and when Knox spotted a scarf with hot rod style flames in the
exact color of their car, he just knew he had to give it to Liv. It made his
heart full to see him wear it.
“Oh, now I understand, Impreza can be very sensitive,” Liv said, patting
the roof while caging Knox against the vehicle. It might be cold, but being
this close to him stirred a fire inside Knox and warmed him from the inside.
“I’m nervous. I just heard some girls talking about last year’s accident,
and… maybe don’t do it after all? This weather…” Knox took a deep
breath, looking into Liv’s eyes, but deep down, he knew his pleading was a
lost cause. Liv had made up his mind, and nothing could sway him from
reaching for what he wanted.
Especially since he believed Knox’s life to be at stake in this damn
competition.
Liv shrugged, cocking his head as he offered Knox his most reassuring
smile—bright, and wide, and full of big teeth. How could anyone not see
how cute and handsome Liv was?
“I wasn’t here last year. And you know I don’t crash,” Liv said, taking a
step closer to bring their bodies together.
Knox put his hands on Liv’s hips, overtaken by nerves. “You better not.
I… can’t lose you, okay? Who’s gonna take care of me if you die in this
race?” He tried to make it a joke, but his voice cracked.
Liv’s warm gaze softened, and he slid his arms around Knox, leaning in
until their foreheads touched. “I won’t die. You know I could never leave
you. You’d get in trouble without me backing you up,” he whispered,
closing Knox in the cocoon of his affection. It beat the cold and eased the
tension making Knox’s heart ache until he relaxed into the hug.
 Knox nodded and pushed back some hair that escaped his ponytail.
“You’re my everything. Is there anything else I can do for you?” He
nuzzled Liv’s nose, amazed how little he cared that someone might see
them. There was always a risk of violence, but that wouldn’t have been his
first fight. What counted was that he wasn’t embarrassed when Bill and his
idiot brother tried to shame him for his sexuality. Self-conscious? Maybe.
But not ashamed. And while those two bastards were like two deformed
mirror images of Knox’s father, the life he shared with Liv was the closest
he’d ever known to happiness. He’d never felt more complete and more
loved.
So fuck Dad and fuck everyone else who had a problem with his
existence.
Liv’s lips crooked so beautifully Knox longed to trace them with his
tongue. “You can give me a good luck kiss.”
Knox only needed to get half an inch closer for his lips to meet Liv’s, and
he parted them to deepen the kiss. Sparks ignited in his chest as desire
revved up inside him in response to his man’s sturdy form sandwiching him
against the car.
Liv gasped, whimpered, and swept Knox’s hair back with one hand as his
tongue painted a red-hot line up Knox’s palate.
Breathless, Knox opened one eye to look to the side, but they were far
enough from people, so…
Fuck it.
He backed out of the kiss, gave Liv a peck on the chin and went down to
his knees, not caring about the mud that now soaked into his jeans. He
needed to show Liv how much he was needed, and what kind of reward
awaited him after the race, whatever its result might be.
“Oh shit,” Liv mumbled, staring at him, enchanted as if he’d just
witnessed a miracle.
Knox didn’t waste time and opened Liv’s jeans as if he were unwrapping
a Christmas gift. “Good luck head,” he said with a grin.
Touched by the warmth of Liv’s glistening eyes, Knox didn’t even feel
the cold mud, and when big, rough hands cupped his head, he nuzzled one
of them, greedy for affection. But what he needed was right in front of him,
still held back by the dark blue underwear yet already reaching for him
through the fabric.
 A car motor came to life nearby as he pulled down Liv’s boxer shorts, but
his world had become small and focused on the bare shaft surrounded by
the vapor he’d breathed out.
“Fuck, yes,” Liv mumbled, petting his head.
By now, he knew his way around Liv’s dick, and yes, practiced enough to
get his gag reflex in check. They didn’t have time to fool around, to tease,
but Knox would indulge Liv anyway. Getting things done quickly could be
just as intense.
“Gotta keep it nice and warm,” he whispered and winked at Liv before
going in, sucking the head in with a happy grunt. He loved to feel Liv’s
desire in his mouth and meet his gaze while it happened. Liv almost never
closed his eyes when Knox gave him head, as if no fantasy could compete
with the reality of being with Knox.
Knox wanted to treasure each time they made love in his memories, and
this one might be extra special. ‘Cause yeah, maybe it was kinda hot that
someone could catch them red handed.
“Your mouth feels so damn good. Made for my dick,” Liv whispered,
biting the side of his hand.
Knox hollowed his cheeks, cradling that hard cock on his tongue as desire
cascaded down his body, teasing every bit of skin. He murmured when
Liv’s grip on his hair tightened. Liv’s dick was the perfect size to enjoy all
the fucking time. Thick, but not monstrously so, it had a smooth head and a
veiny shaft Knox loved wrapping his lips around.
Tempted by the warmth radiating from Liv’s pants, he reached inside and
gave Liv’s balls a gentle squeeze that made him get to his toes with a
barely-stifled grunt. “Knoxie... God, I swear you give the best head. I love
coming in your mouth,” he rasped, flushed a deep red.
Looking up at Liv’s face and hearing his stifled moans was half of Knox’s
pleasure. And yeah, he loved pet names now. Made him feel special.
But they didn’t have all that much time, so while Knox enjoyed tracing
his hand all over Liv’s thigh, he pushed forward, letting Liv’s cock into his
throat, time and time again as he bobbed his head at an increasing pace,
sucking on the shaft as he got into the rhythm of it, encouraged by the way
Liv’s hands trembled against his skin.
Yep, he fucking loved blowing his man, and refused to feel ashamed. Bill
and his brother could go fuck themselves if they had a problem with it.
 The roar of engines and the loud music blocked out whatever sounds the
two of them might have been making, but he was so caught in the moment,
so utterly hypnotized by the hard meat in his mouth that he didn’t try to
make sure they were alone.
He trusted Liv to keep him safe.
And in return, he’d give Liv the best pre-race release.
“Jesus… fuck… almost there, suck me dry,” Liv mumbled, holding
Knox’s head and thrusting his hips to jab his cock into Knox’s mouth faster.
Knox teased the head with his tongue before stilling, ready to drink Liv’s
cum. When the stiff dick in his mouth went even more rigid, and then shot
warmth down his tongue, Knox tightened his lips, creating a seal around
Liv’s shaft.
The intoxicating mixture of adrenaline and joy flowed through Knox’s
bloodstream, making him drunk and dizzy when Liv stroked his face with a
lusty smile. “Come on, my turn.”
Knox clutched at Liv’s clothes and pulled himself up before pressing
against him and burying his face in his fragrant neck. “Nah, you’re gonna
have to wait until after the race. This way, you really can’t crash.”
Liv blinked, and his lips twitched as he grabbed Knox’s arms, holding
him for a deep kiss that had Knox’s body on pins and needles. Oh, he might
just come in his pants if they kept grinding against each other like this. Like
that first time, when Liv got on top of him and dry humped him to oblivion.
“You tease,” Liv whimpered, lapping up some of the cum that escaped
Knox’s lips and rolled down his chin.
Knox chuckled and rearranged his ponytail. “Gotta keep you on your
toes.”
They both turned their heads when someone knocked on the roof of their
car and cleared his throat.
Dex raised his eyebrows with a little smirk on his freckled face. “All due
respect and shit, but there’s a race in minutes? I bet on you.”
“Were you… here the whole time?” Liv asked, adjusting his clothes.
Dex glanced at his nails and shrugged. “I’m a gentleman, I don’t interrupt
if I don’t have to.”
Knox shook his head. “That’s fucked up.” Then again, it wasn’t like Dex
would have seen much from the other side of the car.
They faced the uninvited guest⸺or, sponsor, as he’d called himself before⸺
but Dex’s gaze wandered down Knox’s body, and he whistled.
 “The mark of a pro.”
Knox glanced down to his soaked jeans. Fuck. It didn’t help that he was
still hard and horny. But, at the end of the day, was he really embarrassed of
giving head in front of Dex, a guy who had a shameless sex story for every
occasion?
“You’d know.”
Dex grinned and pulled his neon green hat lower on his forehead. “This
one time—”
“I do have to go,” Liv butted in, taking off his scarf.
Dex nodded. “Yeah, yeah, let’s go. Everyone else left while Knox played
your flute,” he said, making a broad gesture at the empty space around their
vehicle.
Liv shook his head and put the scarf around Knox’s neck, tying it into a
knot at the front. “Gotta take care of a throat this golden,” he whispered,
winking as if he wasn’t afraid of what was to come at all.
“Just… be careful,” Knox said, touching his fingers. But he knew there
was no way to be careful and win. He could only hope that, despite the
bravado that always drew him in like a moth to the flame, Liv would know
when to stop.
Liv’s gaze settled on him, and he gave Knox the softest of kisses, barely
touching his lips. “This is what I’m good at. Don’t worry. I’ll be back.”
And with that, Liv got into the car. He kissed the hot rod keychain Knox
had given him so many years ago, and was off with a roar of the engine.
With his heart in his throat, Knox followed him on foot.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 37

Liv

THE ASPHALT TREMBLED WITH the buzz of several powerful engines,

and Liv was already high on fumes of gas as he looked ahead, his attention
focused on the task before him. Working at the compound for the past
weeks had been a blessing. Every curve, every bump was etched in his
memory. He’d driven the track many times, often at night, after work or
early in the morning, all to make each movement automatic so he could
dedicate his conscious thoughts to wild cards—the other drivers.
He’d seen some of them train for the competition, so he had a decent idea
about their capabilities and was in fact convinced of being the most skilled
of them. Blizzard was the exception, of course, but Liv had never faced
him. While his near-celebrity status and reputation painted the picture of a
tough opponent, this guy was only here for fun and clout. Liv was
participating to save Knox. For their future. And he would not back down
just because Blizzard was a racing whizz with more experience than him.
The one thing that did worry him was the slippery surface, because he’d
only had a few days to practice dealing with it. But he’d promised Knox
that he’d come back to him, and he would. Even if it cost him the winnings.
The electronic clock attached to a lamppost close to the starting line
counted down the last minute before the start of the competition, and while
he ought to focus on the road and plan his every move, his gaze drifted to
the audience, searching for the familiar shades of green and blue. Knox was
at the very front, with Frank standing behind him like a wall to stop others
from pushing him forward. Shane, Ros, and Ezra were there too, and they
all waved at him when Knox pointed at Liv’s car.
Good. Regardless of how things would go, this would be a terrifying ten
minutes for Knox, and the fact that even Frank, who’d been so against Liv
taking part in this competition, ended up coming made his heart swell.
It would be all right.
A blonde bombshell dressed in a tiny black dress and nothing else,
stepped onto the asphalt with two flags in her hands. Each of her exhales
released a cloud of vapor as she neared the middle of the track while the
countdown reached its teens.
Nineteen seconds.
Eighteen.
Seventeen.
Taking a deep inhale, Liv met Knox’s gaze, and when he was certain his
boyfriend could see him well, he patted his chest to remind him why he was
doing this.
The old Liv might have raced for pride or to show off, but there were
more important things in his life now. Things truly worth fighting for.
Knox’s features twitched, as if he were holding back emotion, but it was
time to mentally retreat behind the wheel.
Tension settled over the cars like fog, but Liv paid them no mind. Not
right now, when the starting position could change so fucking much about
the result.
When the countdown reached zero, Liv grabbed the stick and moved it,
both feet ready for a speedy transition between gears. In that moment,
nothing existed but the woman holding up the flags, and by the time ants
crawled up his back, she rapidly bent forward, signaling the start of the
race.
Engines roared, and the world around Liv turned into a blur as he shot
forward, moving the stick at the slightest hint of wheezing under the hood.
Gear two. Three. Four.
He let out a roar when a golden Nissan attempted to overtake him and
stepped harder on the gas while switching to the fifth gear. Shooting
forward, he cut in front of the guy and blocked him as the track narrowed,
forcing the vehicles into forming two rows. The former landing strip was
the longest stretch of straight road ahead, and it might decide the outcome,
so Liv allowed himself to take a glimpse at the three cars within sight.
Blizzard’s silver blue machine was already taking the lead, dashing
forward as if it used rocket fuel, but the other two cars, whose drivers
appeared to have reflexes to match Liv’s were no less dangerous. He
scowled at the sight of the green Honda. He would leave the homophobic
bastard in the dirt and salt used to treat the track.
But as the first bend emerged from the flurry of dirt sprayed from under
Blizzard’s wheels, something had to give, and Liv hit the brake, easing into
the change of direction despite his heart beating furiously, urging him to go
harder, to take the risk that might come with high rewards.
Holding onto the wheel, he froze when Blizzard ignored all common
sense and dashed on at full speed. Merciless physics made his car’s rear
wheels lose grip, but just as Liv thought he’d see the beautiful vehicle roll,
it made half a spin before braving the bend and emerging victorious, with
yet more ground gained over the other competitors.
Fuck. How dangerous. Reckless. A thwart to Liv’s plans. Yet, damn, was
that shit impressive!
With a mad laugh on his lips, Liv stepped on the gas and sped forward,
joined by the green Honda and Trixie, a hangaround who raced in a Barbie
pink car. They might be good, but they didn’t have that edge of desperation
which would allow Liv to win this. He just needed to lose all the others and
catch up with the king himself.
Seconds seemed to last minutes as Liv went into the next bend the way
Blizzard had. It was a gamble, especially in this weather, but as gravity
pulled him toward the edge, he shifted gears and twisted the steering wheel
in time to regain control.
He dashed ahead again, brain full of scattered thoughts about everything
from handling the spot where the track led over an old byroad featuring a
steep incline and a sudden dip that made him feel like he was on a
rollercoaster even when driving at normal speed. His mind quieted, focused
on the goal that made all this risk worth it.
One time, Knox’s lips had gone blue, and with his mom being in no state
to drive, Liv had stepped in and taken him to the ER at full speed. It had
been his first week after getting his license, and he had scratched a car in
the parking lot, but he’d driven off before anyone noticed. And Knox? He
was fine the next day, but in that moment Liv still decided to become the
best driver he could, in case he needed to dash to the hospital again.
And if Liv won this thing, if he got that cash, Knox’s heart could be
mended. It would change everything.
Chasing Blizzard’s rear lights, Liv sprinted past the two hangars, and
while he couldn’t allow himself to seek his cheerleader in the crowd of
onlookers, knowing that he was there with their friends fueled Liv’s
determination, making him breathe slower as he entered the second of three
rounds along the track.
One look in the rearview mirror told him that the distance between the
cars had already lengthened. But that green Honda? It kept fighting Liv at
every turn. Still, focusing on his opponent rather than on the road might
leave him unprepared for what was to come, so he drove on with his mind
full of the only reason that made this race worth the increased risk.
Knox.
His best friend.
His boyfriend.
The only person he would move heaven and earth for.
Neither of them had slept much last night, but having Knox close and
watching his sweet face in the dark relieved some of the tension and worries
plaguing Liv. Because Knox was worth everything. Each bruise and cut Liv
had ended up with when getting him out of trouble. And everything Liv was
giving up on to be with him.
He was even worth killing for.
Saving him was worth any risk.
Liv managed to catch up with Blizzard somewhat by the time he started
the final lap around the circuit. The salt and sand that kept his wheels from
sliding on ice covered his windshield in muddy freckles, but he could still
see well enough, his attention sharp as a razor and his body just as ready to
act.
He’d left most of the other racers well behind, but the green Honda
remained a menace, at times coming uncomfortably close, as if its driver
were attempting to push Liv to the edge. The fucker wanted Liv to slip to
the ice lingering just off the asphalt.
But Liv did not play dirty and instead of trying to follow the bastard’s
rulebook, sped through yet another bend. Death peered into his eyes when
his wheels passed over a slippery strip of the track, but as gravity started
pulling his vehicle into a spin, he changed gear and yanked the steering
wheel in the opposite direction before adding more gas.
It had only taken seconds, but by the time he emerged victorious, his back
was damp with sweat and his hands ached from the force they clutched the
wheel with.
Thank fuck Knox couldn’t have seen this. He did not need any more
anxiety in his current condition. And while participating in this race went
against protecting him from stress, the ends would justify the means.
As Liv chased after Blizzard, the vehicle filled with the warm scent of
Knox’s body. He could sense the soft tickle of his hair and arms settling
around his waist while Knox lay behind him, offering Liv the true refuge
he’d been seeking for so long.
Knox might be back at the clubhouse, nervously watching the
competition, but his heart remained with Liv, reassuring him that he could
achieve whatever he put his mind to.
Images from their shared past spun in Liv’s head.
The first time they played together, while their respective parents fucked
behind a thin wall. Knox showing Liv how to knee someone in the gut.
Eating cold turkey on Christmas and exchanging homemade gifts. Always
at each other’s side. Always having one another’s back.
There wasn’t a life he could imagine without Knox.
This was what he was fighting for today.
When Liv entered the byroad, once more heading for the steep hill,
Blizzard’s rear lights went on as he hit the brakes. And at that moment, Liv
knew he would not. He’d fuck safety rules and put all his cards on the table.
After all, he did not crash.
Quickly gaining on Blizzard, Liv leaned forward and stopped breathing
as he felt the sudden change in elevation that had all his blood draining to
his lower body. Complete focus filled every cell in his body, and he felt like
he was about to take flight.
But then something hit his door. He glanced that way, wide-eyed, barely
retaining control over the vehicle.
The Honda’s side mirror locked with his, wrestling as if to see which was
made of stronger material, but one glimpse inside the cab told him this was
not an accidental clash. The driver’s face was twisted in a vengeful grimace,
and when he moved his wheel, attempting to hit Liv again, the only option
was to hit the brakes.
 Or risk it all.
With a low roar, Liv pressed his gas pedal all the way down. His mirror
broke off, and once it hung on a piece of cable, like a boxing glove filled
with rocks, he veered to the side and reached the top of the hill at full speed.
Every muscle in his body went rigid when his car left the surface,
catapulted forward at a frightening speed. People often said that facing
death was like experiencing one’s whole life on fast-forward, but Liv only
saw the good moments, the ones he’d shared with Knox. It was for him that
he could not die today.
A flash of green passed through his rearview mirror. The Honda’s driver
attempted to slow down at the very last moment, but gravity sent him into a
spin, and as the front of the car slipped off the asphalt, the entire vehicle
tumbled behind it.
It had only been a flash, and then, the dirty, wheel-marked road surface
came closer, and Liv screamed out when his car dropped with a terrifying
crack.
And yet, he was still dashing forward, a few yards behind Blizzard. If the
piece of junk he and Knox worked their asses for was to fall apart, it better
not happen before he crossed the finish line. As the winner.
The silver blue car moved at a steady pace, as if its driver had lost his
steam, but Liv had never been more determined. He could already see the
best version of the future ahead. A small home with walls that weren’t
cardboard-thin, a dog curled up in a pile of blankets, and Knox waking up
next to Liv. In this lucid dream, there were shallow wrinkles on the sides of
his lips, the result of many happy years at Liv’s side. They made his face
somehow even sexier than it was now.
And Liv took it upon himself to make that dream future a reality. Starting
today.
The flicker of many red and blue lights told him nothing at first, as all he
cared for was overtaking Blizzard, and when the champion and star of so
many races suddenly fell back, Liv’s elation was like a flurry of fireworks.
But as he neared the finish line, frost covered his skin. Police cars took
shape, the scarecrows that had Blizzard forfeiting the race.
“Fuck!” he roared, completely blindsided, but was unable to slow down
fast enough. As he neared the cop cars, it became clear that they wouldn’t
be able to retreat off the track in time. He’d either hit them head-on or dive
off the road, into the shallow ditch.
 It wasn’t even a choice. His body acted before his mind could make the
correct decision, and moments later, he was spinning like a sweaty T-shirt
tumbling inside the washing machine. The seatbelt dug into his flesh,
holding Liv strapped in as he kept his neck rigid, desperate to prevent his
head from hitting a hard surface. By the time the steel shell around him
came to a halt, Liv was shaking like a dying animal. Distant screams
erupted somewhere beyond the now-empty window, so he forced his hands
to move and opened the safety belt.
A snarl tore out of his lips when broken glass dug into his bare hands, but
skin would soon mend, and raw instinct told him to leave the vehicle. The
colorful lights blinded him as he crawled outside, clutching at muddy
remains of grass, but all strength left him once he was out. He collapsed
onto the damp ground while the world spun around him.
He was so dizzy the screams approaching him all too fast became one big
soup of voices.
“Stay down on the ground!” someone who had to be a cop yelled, but it
was the next voice that set his mind straight.
“Liv! Are you okay? Liv!” Knox bellowed, running his way.
Liv could barely see him with the background of red and blue lights, but
the blurry figure was speeding his way like a comet, and he reached out for
it, longing for the soothing touch of Knox’s hands. Nobody gave better hugs
than Knox, and he fucking needed one right now.
“Sir, you need to keep your distance,” a cop said, stepping between Liv
and Knox while another scooted over Liv and shone a flashlight straight
into his eyes. Twisting away from the painful glow, he rolled to his hands
and knees, still fighting the dizziness.
“I’m fine.”
“Then stay on the damn ground, hands on your head!”
“What are you even arresting him for?” Knox yelled, and to Liv’s terror,
he wrestled with the cop, pushing him back. “He could need a doctor! Let
him go!”
“One more fucking shove, and you’re going to the station with him!” the
cop yelled.
“Knox… stay,” Liv mumbled, but his man already stepped closer, trying
to push the cop aside.
“He’s bleeding—” Knox shouted, but the officer seemed to have lost his
patience, and Knox landed on the ground face-down, as if this was an action
movie featuring a judo-proficient cop.
What. A. Clusterfuck.
Liv sighed, remaining passive as cuffs closed around his wrists. There
was no fucking way for him to run. Not in the state he was in. But Knox?
He could have just stayed away, but he had to play the hero and attempt to
steal him from the clutches of about a dozen cops.
Which was idiotic. But also kind of touching.
“I’m fine Knox. It’s just a scratch.”
Knox took a deep breath and bumped his forehead against Liv’s, reaching
him by jerking a bit closer, like a fish out of water. “They’re not taking you
anywhere without me.”
And still, Liv’s stomach clenched when Knox got cuffed.
He’d almost won, but not only had they lost their car but also gotten
themselves arrested. And while he could assume this raid was about the
illegal race, both he and Knox had fingerprints in the police database. They
were fucked.
As that fact sank in, replacing dizziness with sharp fear, Liv met Knox’s
gaze, still prone in the icy mud.
“Tell them nothing,” he said right before getting yanked up by the arm.
They were getting separated.
Knox looked like he wanted to say something more, opened his mouth,
brows drawn together tightly, but then just nodded. Their silent agreement
was set in place in case the cops would try to cross examine them.
Seeing Knox taken away felt like having his arms and legs ripped off, but
Liv trusted him. As the cops led him to another vehicle, he let himself relax,
glad that he was still whole.
If push came to shove. He’d take the blame for Vlad’s death and set Knox
free.

OceanofPDF.com
 Chapter 38

Liv

THE INTERROGATION ROOM WAS a white box with walls that felt as
though they were about to crush Liv and bright light that had already given
him a headache. But he had been seen by a doctor so at least the pain wasn’t
an omen of impending death.
“Look, all I’m saying is that you need to be careful with him. He has a
serious heart condition, but he tries to always hide it. And you don’t want
him to get seriously ill on your watch, right?” Liv tried, flinching when the
chains cuffing his wrist to the table rattled, reminding him that he wasn’t
here on his own terms.
The policeman rolled his eyes as if this wasn’t a serious matter. He sat in
a chair opposite Liv, his bright eyes like icicles.
“Your buddy’s being taken care of. In fact, he’s feeling so good, he had
no trouble confessing that you killed Mr. Sidorov. So you should worry
about yourself, not him.”
The tiniest echo of a sting made Liv twitch, but then sense took over, and
he shook his head and took a sip from a paper cup of water he’d been
offered. Knox wouldn’t have pushed him under the bus. Not in a million
years.
“He probably also told you about our secret stash then.”
 The cop squinted at him and tapped his pen against the table. “No, but
I’m all ears.”
Liv shrugged, meeting his gaze. “Can’t believe he hadn’t told you about
the crystals. Witchy girls are all over that. Great money.”
“It would really be quicker and more painless for everyone if you
confessed and stopped wasting my time.”
“I have nothing to confess.”
The cop cocked his head and looked into a thin file. “Then why did you
run after Mr. Sidorov’s disappearance? If you have nothing to hide, then
how come you emerge all the way in Pennsylvania?”
Liv spread his arms as far as the chain allowed. Which wasn’t far.
“Because I’ve been pissing off the local cops for a while. I’m from a bad
part of town, and I’ve caused more than enough trouble in my life. I was
afraid they’d try to pin that dude’s death on me.”
“So Mr. Macy killed him.”
It was more of a statement than a question, and that chilled Liv to the
bone. These cops just wanted to close a case, to show off that they did
something, and would throw either of them to the wolves to do that.
Because who would truly mourn Vlad, besides maybe his youngest kids,
who hadn’t yet experienced what a terrible man he could be?
“Couldn’t have. I was with him.”
“Your ex-girlfriend… who was Mr. Macy’s girlfriend before that,” the
cop said matter-of-factly but raised his eyebrows, “she claims you left your
home at two in the morning to pick up Mr. Macy from Mr. Sidorov’s
property. And then, all of you disappeared, but we found DNA that matches
Mr. Sidorov’s. Are you really expecting us to believe you had nothing to do
with it?”
Liv shrugged, determined to play the fool for as long as it took. But if
push came to shove, and it was between him and Knox, he would confess to
what he’d done. Too bad their grand escape would surely not play in his
favor. “Yeah, that’s right. The guy was alive and kicking when we last saw
him.”
The door opened for a man who wasn’t wearing a uniform but an elegant
suit. He was in his forties, with slicked back dark hair, and he pulled out a
cigarette as soon as he entered.
Liv frowned when he saw Frank hover just outside.
“I’m taking it from here, Travis,” the suit said to Liv’s interrogator.
 The cop opened his mouth but after a silent two-second standoff, he
tightened his lips and left the room.
Liv blinked, staring at Frank, then at the one-way mirror to his left. His
stomach sank and he leaned forward. “Is something wrong with Knox?”
Frank closed the door, then got to the corner of the room, stood on his
toes and turned off the camera that had been eying Liv with its red light.
“No, but this is your one chance, so you better listen to what my friend Ross
has to offer you.”
Liv’s skin tightened around him, becoming so rigid he couldn’t move.
“Yeah. Sure,” he muttered, moving his gaze from Frank to the tired features
with puffed up bags under the eyes.
Ross sat down and took a big drag of smoke. “Let’s get this clear. I don’t
give a shit about Vladimir Sidorov. In fact, I’m glad to hear he’s gone. He
was a small fish, and you are an even tinier one. But you see, we found the
body, we found your car, and we’ve got a lot of blanks to fill. We can either
use those blanks to put the two of you behind bars, because I’m sure it was
one of you who ended Vlad, or I can put you on the witness stand.”
Behind him, Frank stood like a wall of muscle, arms wrapped across his
massive chest. He was silent, but the sole fact he was here meant he had his
fingers in brokering whatever… this was, so Liv paid attention.
“Witnesses to what?” Liv asked cautiously.
“There’s a gangster back in California who I’ve been playing cat and
mouse with for five years now, and I’m done being a good cop. I don’t care
what he goes down for anymore. I’ll give the two of you a name, a
description, and details of what really happened that night. You tell me what
you’ve seen the bastard do to Mr. Sidorov, and I put you in witness
protection. Frank here tells me you’re good boys, deep down, and I’m
inclined to believe that you did what you did because you had no other
choice. Happens.”
Frank nodded behind the cop’s back, leaving Liv bewildered.
Stunned, he leaned back in the chair and stared at them both. “For real?
This is not a trick?”
“Do I look like I’m joking?” Ross asked, releasing a cloud of smoke so
dense Liv barely kept himself from coughing. “But this offer is only
available now. Once I leave this room, that’s it.”
Liv’s skin tingled, and he wasn’t sure if it was his instincts warning him
about this being a trap, or excitement of possibly-maybe getting away with
everything. Oh what he’d give for a clean slate and no longer needing to
look over his shoulder any time he spotted a cop.
His gaze wandered to Frank again, and while it was hard to make this
decision out of the blue, Liv had no doubts that Frank wouldn’t lie to his
face after everything they’d been through. Maybe they weren’t the best of
friends yet, but things were definitely heading that way, and at the end of
the day, what did he have to lose? It was either doing time for certain or
entertaining this plan.
“Yeah. I’ll do it.”
Ross’s mouth quirked into a smile, and he watched Liv like a hawk
who’d just gotten his prey. “Good, now let’s get your friend in here,
because he’d been set on staying silent like some monk. It’s either both of
you or neither, because I need you to corroborate each other’s stories.” He
got up and left the room without as much as looking back at Liv.
Liv slid lower in the chair, taking a deep breath, as if Ross had been
squeezing his chest and preventing him from inhaling. “Is this for real?
What about—” He gestured toward the one-way mirror, but Frank shook his
head.
“Ross’s partner is making sure this doesn’t go on record.”
Liv cleared his throat. “I don’t know how you know those people but…
thanks?”
“You better be fucking thankful, because I had to pull several strings to
get him down here. He owes me a favor, so now you two owe it to me.
What did I tell you about that race, huh? But no, you had to put yourself in
the spotlight!” Frank spread his arms, stepping closer.
Liv blinked, taken aback. “You think it was about the spotlight? We need
cash for Knox’s surgery. How am I supposed to get that much dough doing
odd jobs, huh?”
Frank hummed, watching him as if he were calculating something. “I’ll
lend you the money if it’s this urgent,” he said in the end. “But for the next
three years, you two are mine, understood?”
Liv swallowed. “Doing what?”
Frank scowled. “Whatever I tell you to! I say jump, you ask how high. I
say dig, you ask how deep!”
Liv stared at him while his brain rattled. This was the only time he’d get
to negotiate, so he better use the few moments remaining to adjust the
scales in his favor. “Could you… legally employ Knox? So he’s insured?”
 The tension in Frank’s shoulders eased and he put his hands in his
pockets. “I’ll employ you both once this whole police thing is done.”
Liv’s chest sunk with a deep exhale. “Thank you. I don’t know what I did
to deserve your help, but I won’t forget it. Seriously.”
“I’ve been helped in life when no one seemed to have my back. I know
what it’s like to feel like you’re drowning. But shit, boy… you two better be
on your best behavior after this.”
The door opened, and Ross walked in, followed by Knox, who wasn’t
even cuffed.
“Liv! Are you okay? No concussion? Dizziness?” Knox asked, almost
jumping his way.
Liv rose, and while the cuffs kept him from straying too far from the
table, he did grab Knox’s forearm and grinned at him, elated to see his
sweet face. “No, a doctor checked my eyes and everything. Just a few
bruises and scratches.”
Ross started uncuffing Liv, but Knox was already hugging him. “The
deal? It’s legit?” he whispered, glancing at Frank.
Ross’s face went a bit blank, and he cleared his throat. “Maybe save
your… enthusiasm for after we finish here,” he said and sat down in the
same place as before while Frank pushed an empty chair at Knox.
Liv’s mouth itched to touch Knox’s again, but he knew better than to
make the guy offering them freedom uncomfortable, as idiotic as that was.
With his hands now free, he sat and grabbed Knox’s warm hand under the
table, where it couldn’t be seen.
Liv was ready to take in the details of the whole new crime they were
about to commit. But for Knox, he’d lie in court, no questions asked.
Talking through all the particulars took at least two hours, and was only
the beginning of a longer process, but, around midnight, Liv and Knox were
free to walk out of the police station. Frank had been with them every step
of the way, only leaving for a coffee, and while Liv was a grown-ass man, it
felt nice to know someone had his back.
Working for Frank in the future would surely have its tough moments, but
it wouldn’t be about returning a favor, or being obligated. He and Knox fit
in with their new junkyard family. He’d help them for free just because.
And Frank surely wasn’t sticking his neck out for them to get himself free
labor. He cared in his own gruff way.
 As much as Liv itched to talk about all of this with Knox, they didn’t get
to have time alone just yet. When they all stepped out of the station, Liv
instantly spotted Frank’s gray sedan, but to his bewilderment, right next to
it stood Blizzard’s shiny blue car.
He went so stiff, Frank walked into him, forcing him onto the next
concrete step when the beautiful vehicle opened and the man himself
stepped out in a puffy jacket the same shade of blue as the frost on his fancy
ride.
This day had already been long, nerve-wracking, and surprising, but
when Blizzard leaned against his car and nodded, Liv pulled at Knox’s hand
and headed toward the unexpected presence.
Blizzard didn’t look all that impressive from up close. He was Knox’s
size, with a long torso and a mole on the side of the cheek, but his smile
was bright enough to put Liv at ease as he approached.
“Liv, right?” Blizzard asked, offering his hand in greeting.
“And you’re the legend himself,” Liv responded, giving Blizzard’s
fingers a firm squeeze.
Blizzard glanced at Knox as well, and they exchanged a nod, but Liv
remained his focus. “That was some race, right? Shame we didn’t get to
finish, but I’m gonna say it, I think you would have won, man. That leap
was a ballsy move, and you didn’t chicken out when you spotted the cops.
Respect.”
It was more a matter of Liv not noticing they had unwanted company
soon enough, but he wasn’t about to correct Blizzard on that one.
“Thanks. You were an incredible driver. I studied videos online in
preparation for the race, but your technique is even more impressive in
person. I guess what I’m trying to say is that your opinion matters to me a
lot,” he said, breathlessly squeezing Knox’s hand.
Blizzard shrugged. “It’s no fun to never feel an opponent’s breath on my
nape. But I’ve heard you were especially motivated to win this thing.”
Liv licked his lips. “Yeah?”
“This biker with a fake red eye told me you want to pay for your buddy’s
surgery.”
Liv glanced Knox’s way and cleared his throat, unsure where this was
going. “That’s right. Too bad I didn’t get to reach the finish line, right?”
“But we both know you would have,” Blizzard said. “It’s only fair that
the cash pool goes to you.”
 Liv opened his mouth, stalling as his brain did a little backflip. “I—
what?”
Knox held his breath. “All the bets…?”
Blizzard shrugged. “I talked to the club. Because you got closer to the
finish line, they agreed to treat that as your win. You deserve it man. But…”
Liv braced himself for the strings attached to the money. Sure, Frank had
already offered them a loan, but the less they borrowed, the better for their
future.
Blizzard grinned and pointed to their hands. “If this story ever ends up as
one of those sappy Hallmark sports movies, I will be playing myself.”
Joy sparked in Liv’s chest, and he shook Blizzard’s hand with a wide
grin. This was the best thing that ever happened to him. Well, other than
meeting Knox, of course. “You got it. Always the star.”
Blizzard laughed, shaking his hand. “And I hope to see you on the track
again?”
“Maybe. Once I take care of the important things,” Liv agreed, patting
Knox’s chest as the star racer shook his head and sat in his car after a brief
goodbye. He was off within moments, leaving Liv to contemplate this
strange new reality where strangers actually showed him kindness and
compassion.
“So this day ended… on a weirdly good note,” he mumbled, joining
Frank in the car, but before he could have done anything else, Knox kissed
him so hard Liv’s head hit the window.
“The money from the race… it must be at least twenty thousand,” Knox
said, embracing him as Frank started the vehicle, surely eager to go home.
But Liv’s attention no longer reached beyond Knox’s body, and he clutched
at his man’s ass, grunting when Knox climbed in his lap, already rubbing
the front of his pants.
“We’ll work out the rest,” Liv said, opening his eyes wide as his shaft
stiffened at a rapid pace. “And Frank is giving us—”
“Lending you,” Frank corrected.
“Yeah, Frank will lend us the rest of the money, so this doesn’t wait.” Liv
rubbed the front of Knox’s chest, elated that his beloved will be getting the
treatment he needed.
God, he could just eat Knox up. All day, every day.
Knox’s fingers found their way under Liv’s T-shirt. “That’s amazing,
Frank. Thank you so much,” he said even though his eyes were on Liv.
 “You look so fucking beautiful right now,” Liv whispered, pulling down
the fly of Knox’s pants as need cooked his brain. After everything that
happened earlier, the desire to touch him was inescapable, and he had no
willpower to wait.
He slid lower to feel Knox on top and be his pillow.
“You better not be fucking back there!” Frank warned.
Knox laughed against Liv’s lips. “Just hand jobs, Frank, okay?”
“Jesus Christ,” Frank mumbled, but his voice faded away as Knox’s
tongue teased Liv’s mouth and they melted together, once again finding
each other, like they always would.

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 Epilogue

Knox

ONE YEAR LATER

Knox was still weak after the surgery, but the doctors claimed he was
healing well, and he couldn’t deny that he was feeling more like himself
with every passing day. Liv had played a big part in that though, taking time
off work to spend every minute at the hospital, to ease the stress of needing
to stay in a place that for Knox was attached to so many terrible memories.
And it worked. While seeing scrubs and smelling all that disinfectant still
made Knox uneasy, Liv’s presence, his jokes, and all the attempts at
distraction were doing their magic. As the bright purple race car on the
screen of a tiny television neared the bend, Knox made it accelerate in an
attempt to overtake Liv’s pixel vehicle.
Dane had lent them his console, and while Knox didn’t know where the
TV had come from, he didn’t care to ask and just enjoyed himself as they
fought for supremacy in their two-person league.
“Ha! Suck. My. Dick,” Liv said with glee as his car almost pushed
Knox’s off the track and sped forward.
Knox laughed out loud, madly tapping that X button to go faster. “Don’t
threaten me with a good time.”
Knox didn’t feel nervous or offended about this kind of teasing anymore.
With Liv at his side, he’d become at peace with his identity, their
relationship, and what they did in bed (or out of it). It helped that they lived
around gay friends and didn’t have to walk on eggshells about the topic.
That wouldn’t have been the case back at their trailer park in California, so
Knox didn’t miss much about his former life. He’d never see his dad again,
and his mom wouldn’t be around to suggest he could take drugs to alleviate
stress.
There were times when Knox worried the false statements they’d made
might land them in trouble, but they were here under changed names, and
even the record of their arrest had been wiped clean, ensuring their safety.
Far from where it all went downhill, he’d been able to start a new, better life
at Liv’s side, and he didn’t regret a single thing.
Despite his initial apprehension, and Liv’s stumble with the girl at the
secondhand shop, their relationship had only deepened. They’d insulated
their trailer, and while it wasn’t where they hoped to end up one day, for
now it was a cozy home for the two of them and their dog, California.
Because yeah, Liv got him a puppy last Christmas—a quickly growing,
well-behaved, Rottweiler that was always happy to go explore the junkyard
with Liv and Knox. They didn’t even have to worry about leaving the dog
at home for too long when working, because on most occasions, Frank
allowed them to bring Cali along.
Even though they were paying Frank off very slowly, they’d had someone
to lend them money in the first place. If they ran out of food, they could
always count on some scraps from Ezra, and in turn, they could feel useful
helping out when their friends needed it. Knox was even considering a
plumbing course once their finances allowed it, as that would be a useful
skill to have.
But that had to wait. Right now, he’d promised Liv to focus on healing,
and for once he didn’t feel the need to grit his teeth and hide his discomfort.
After all, his man wouldn’t belittle him for expressing pain. Liv had already
announced he’d be taking over most tasks at home, and didn’t let Knox
argue about it. Just because he cared. So. Very. Much.
Liv raised his hands in triumph and whistled as the car he was steering
crossed the finish line first. “And who’s the champion? Worship me!”
Knox rolled his eyes but smiled. “Yeah, and the ground you walk on,” he
mocked, but it wasn’t far from the truth.
Liv was his whole world, and Knox would work his ass off to keep it that
way. It had been over a year since they’d gotten together, and he’d learned
about a much softer side of Liv, one that needed a lot of doting and
compliments. So Knox spared him none. Every Sunday morning featured
pancakes, usually topped off with a blowjob, because why not, and Liv was
still his Little Spoon who after even the roughest, dirtiest fucks liked to be
held and cuddled.
Bliss.
A sharp knock on the door made them both look away from the screen.
“Come in!” Liv yelled, and the door opened, revealing a cluster of
people, who seemed eager to enter at the same time. In the end, Ezra stalled
and let Dex walk in first with a big bag in his hand.
“Sorry I couldn’t be here earlier. Club business,” he said with a wide
smile before placing the bag on the table. “But I made you a get well
ramen!”
“Is it any different than the Thanksgiving one?” Ros asked and placed a
bundle of flowers in an empty vase.
“Well, duh, that one had turkey in it, this one has pork. Just the thing you
need to get well,” Dex reassured Knox with a wide grin.
While Knox got along best with Shane and Frank, he’d learned to also
appreciate softer men, like Ros and Ezra. He’d just never known anyone
like them before. Maybe because he’d scared them off with his crude
behavior. Well, not anymore. It was important to him to get along with
everyone. Even if Jag was still sometimes a bit of a wild card.
“Thanks, you really didn’t have to,” Knox said with a smile, stroking the
flowers. How silly was it that he’d been taught flowers were girly when it
was so nice to receive a get-well bouquet he’d be able to take home. It
would remind him someone cared until it wilted.
Last month, he’d even gone to Ros to learn how to make a whole
collection of flowers made out of scrap metal for Liv’s birthday. So maybe
it was sappy, but yes, he did tell Liv they would last forever, just like his
love. Liv didn’t laugh at him and not only placed the bouquet on their
kitchen table but remembered to dust it from time to time.
“I wanted to bring your dog over—” Dex started, but Ezra cut in with a
shake of his head.
“A hospital isn’t a place for animals.”
“There are hospitals for animals.”
“Yes, and this isn’t one,” Ezra said, meeting Knox’s gaze with an
exasperated sigh. “He tried to smuggle him in under his jacket.”
 Liv snorted and accepted the duffel bag of necessities Ezra brought over
from their home. “Isn’t he a bit too big of a boy for that?”
Ros’s smile widened. “He’s growing well, and he’s so smart. He picks up
things in training so fast. Soon enough, he’ll be the one giving Dex advice.”
Dex rolled his eyes. “But he won’t be making delicious ramen, I can tell
you that much.”
“He’d need thumbs for that,” Ezra said with a straight face as Liv kissed
Knox behind the ear. The soft touch was pure bliss, and Knox leaned
against his man, ready to be healed by the special soup. Who knew, maybe
it was magical thanks to the power of friendship?
So maybe life wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows, since they did become
cogs in Frank’s side business, but they both trusted him enough to believe
that the bodies disappearing in barrels, underground, or in the incinerator
belonged to people who didn’t deserve much consideration.
Either way, he could not wait to be back home, with all the people who’d
become his true family. With people who cared about him enough to visit
him at the hospital, to bring him soup and flowers. To lend him money for
life-saving surgery.
And most of all, to be home with Liv, the one person who made life
worth living.

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 Epilogue 2

Liv

SOME DAYS WERE BETTER than others. Like Christmas. Thanksgiving.

Birthdays.
Why not make them even better? Liv had been asking himself for the past
week, as the little velvet box in his pocket became ever heavier. If Knox
agreed to marry him—ha, the old him would have laughed at the
ridiculousness of the very idea—it would make his birthday even more
special, and be something to celebrate each year to come.
It only dawned on him earlier today that Knox might say no.
He didn’t know what he’d do then. Take it on the chin? Get mad and
sulk?
He couldn’t actually pretend he’d been joking, because he’d scattered
rose petals on their bed all romantic-like. He couldn’t help himself. When
Knox smiled at him, Liv’s insides turned into cotton candy.
“Thanks for hosting the party,” Knox said to Ezra on the way out of
Frank’s home. The beers he’d drank had given his cheeks a healthy flush,
and Liv couldn’t wait to kiss him all over.
Oh well, if he chickened out before reaching home, he could always
pretend the rose petals were there as a birthday treat. Though he’d be
disappointing Frank and Ezra, who both knew about his plans for the
afterparty. Frank had even helped Liv make the ring, so it would be
personal and not cost an outrageous amount of money. He couldn’t have
afforded anything fancier after all his savings had gone toward Knox’s heart
surgery, but neither he nor Knox were into luxury goods.
It should be fine, he thought as he got into the passenger seat of their
pickup truck and tried to stretch his tense neck.
“The pasta was so good,” Liv said to fill the silence that for once felt
choking.
Knox smiled at him, dispersing some of the tension. His blond hair now
reached his collar bones, and the nose ring Liv had put in himself made
Knox look edgier, wilder. He was so cool, and Liv couldn’t wait to make
Knox his. To put a ring on that finger and make sure this man never slipped
out of his grasp.
“And Ezra made the cake actually sweet. Just for you.” Knox laughed
and leaned in to give Liv a kiss.
It was incredible that within just two years he’d gone from being stuck
with Amanda and stewing in homophobic juices, to reaching the place
where he was always meant to be—at Liv’s side.
They’d lost touch with their useless parents, they were no longer wanted
by the police, and lived a life they maybe didn’t deserve, but which they
appreciated. They even had a dog. What was there not to like?
“I suspect Dex might have added more sugar behind his back,” Liv said
as Knox drove away from Frank’s place, the truck licking the piles of junk
with its headlights.
“I want to show you something,” Knox said and instead of turning right,
toward their home, he headed in the opposite direction.
Liv blinked and moved his hand, finding the little ring box in his pocket
as his flesh heated. “Oh? We’re going off-plan?”
What the hell was wrong with him? Liver Polk was Mr. Spontaneous.
That was the literal reason the two of them had gotten a chance to become
an item in the first place, so why was he so nervous now? Everything Liv
knew was telling him Knox would say yes, and yet doubts were eating him
up.
“Just a little.” Knox winked at him. “You didn’t think your birthday night
was over, did you?”
They drove through the labyrinth of furniture, then a valley of rusted cars,
but Knox knew this place like the back of his hand, so Liv was pretty sure
they wouldn’t be getting lost. Though this detour did throw a wrench into
his plans, since he’d intended to propose at their home. But it wasn’t as
though he’d lost the ring. He could do it later. Like, tomorrow.
“Oh, will you cover my eyes with a silk tie too?” Liv asked, resting his
arm across Knox’s shoulders.
Knox rolled his eyes. “Dumbass. I don’t know why I love you so much.”
Liv’s heart leaped like a happy goat, and he kissed Knox’s jaw. “No? Not
even a bit of secrecy?” he asked, frowning when he saw the fence
surrounding the junkyard. Why were they here of all places?
“You’ll see soon enough anyway. Aaand… here we are.”
Knox stopped the truck after one more turn, and the headlights
illuminated the fence where a six-pack of beer was attached to the wire with
two red ribbons.
Liv chuckled and kissed Knox again, then got out of the vehicle. “Is this a
picnic? With beer tasting? Sounds right up my alley,” he said, eyeing Knox,
whose T-shirt rode up a bit as he left the truck, revealing some skin above
his belt. So fucking hot.
Knox kissed him, his eyes becoming softer when he grabbed Liv’s hand
and guided him to the fence. When they approached the cans of beer, Liv
noticed that a protein bar was taped to the booze.
“A little trip down memory lane. This is where we crossed into the
junkyard.”
Liv’s cheeks tingled, and his chest expanded as the perfection of this
moment dawned on him. Of course. This place, where they’d started their
new life together two years ago, was the perfect spot for a proposal.
He got on one knee, and in the blinding glow cast by the truck, he
produced the ring box.
Knox blinked, staring at him with his mouth slightly open. Damn, he was
such a fine man. And the bond they shared made him even more beautiful in
Liv’s eyes.
“Wait… what?” Knox whispered.
Liv’s tongue felt like a wooden stick trapped in his mouth, but he braved
the stiffness in his limbs and opened the box with the flick of his thumb,
revealing the simple sterling silver ring that had their names etched into its
circumference.
“Will you… like… be mine forever?” he muttered. It was fortunate he
didn’t suddenly develop a stutter.
 Knox put his hands over his face, and to Liv’s utter dread, he started
laughing.
Liv swallowed, not sure what to make of it. As his heart plummeted down
the well of disappointment and despair, Knox reached to his back pocket.
He didn’t say yes, but he was smiling, so there was that.
But just as Liv considered getting up and not making a fool of himself
any longer, Knox produced a ring out of his pocket too.
“You always gotta be first, huh?” Knox asked and wiped a tear from his
eye. “I guess racing’s in your blood.”
The sensation of falling was instantly over, and Liv grabbed Knox’s hand.
“Yes, but also… what? Are you… asking me…” he waved his hand around
as words failed him, creating a lump in his throat.
Knox laughed, going down to one knee to mirror Liv. “Yeah, River Polk.
Will you do life with me?”
The ring in Knox’s fingers was simple and made of some dark metal, but
Liv already knew he wouldn’t swap it for gold or diamonds. His smile was
Joker-wide, but he hoped it wouldn’t creep Knox out too much. Because
this was the best day of his life. Well, okay, maybe the second best after the
day of Knox’s successful surgery.
“Been telling you that for years. It was always meant to be. You and me.
Liv and Knox,” he whispered, intoxicated by happiness as the ring slipped
onto his finger. He didn’t wait and put his own on Knox’s hand before
diving in for a kiss.
Knox’s arms slid around his neck, and Liv splayed his palm over Knox’s
chest, right over the heart. He liked to feel its strong beat and know all was
good in the world.
“I love you, there’s no one else I’d rather be with,” Knox whispered into
the kiss. It had been hours since they’d showered, but he still smelled so
good. His new herbal shampoo, recommended by Ezra, reminded Liv of the
fresh scent of rain, which they experienced way more often since moving to
Pennsylvania. He’d gotten used to it, if not to the cold winters.
But even those were bearable when Liv had Knox to keep him warm in
bed.
“You sure? Not even Cy?” Not even Amanda?” Liv teased, rubbing
Knox’s back as he settled into this new reality where dreams came true.
Knox shook his head and slid his knee between Liv’s legs to tease him.
“You’re so dumb. It’s been two years and you’re still going on about
Cyborg? Didn’t I just say I’ll marry you?” As if to make that point clearer,
Knox kissed his neck.
“You did. We need to pick a date, so you can become Kolin Miller,” Liv
said with a grin.
Knox scowled. “Kolin? Seriously? You know I hate that name!”
His expression was like a match thrown into a haystack, and Liv
chuckled, pulling him up. “Oh, come on, it’s unique.”
Knox shook his head. “I can’t believe the cops won’t let me change it. I
bet they think it’s funny,” he grumbled, but focused on the ring on his
finger. “What if they won’t let us marry?”
Once they were on their feet, Liv hugged Knox, holding onto his leather
belt. “I’m not going to ask for permission. I’ll just take what’s mine.”
Knox’s eyes were on him in an instant, the familiar glint of desire
warming up Liv’s insides. “Even if you have to marry a ‘Kolin’?” he teased,
placing his hands on Liv’s hips.
“What’s in a name anyway?” Liv asked, stepping forward and walking
Knox toward the truck. “Kolin. Knox. Kermit, it’s all the same to me as
long as my husband’s wearing your face.” He rasped when they reached
their destination and their hips collided, sparking fire that would soon
spread over his entire body.
“Don’t forget the beer. I got your favorite,” Knox said.
But beer wasn’t on Liv’s mind right now. All he could think of was that
he had a fiancé, and it turned him on more than he imagined it would.
“Oh, we’ll drink in rose-scented sheets later. But right now, I need to
make sure this engagement’s valid,” he whispered, tasting Knox’s warm
neck with his tongue. There was something about the way he melted at
Liv’s touch that made each time they had sex special. Even the quickies.
But this? This would be most special of all.
“What? You bought us new sheets?” Knox asked, but Liv wasn’t about to
waste time on explaining himself. He pressed his mouth to Knox’s in a firm
kiss, and then spun him around, so they both faced the side of the truck.
He loved the way Knox leaned back against him, accepting Liv as the one
to call the shots. Knox had a dirty mouth, gladly initiated sex, and wasn’t
shy about his lust for Liv, but he also had a gentle side that loved to be
guided. That pliant behavior only made him sweeter in Liv’s eyes, and as all
this sugar made him salivate, he knew he couldn’t wait to taste his treat.
They could fuck again later.
 Knox gasped when Liv’s hand slid under his T-shirt, feeling up his abs
and chest, fingertips trailing along the scar that didn’t make Knox any less
attractive in Liv’s eyes. He fucking loved this man and would make it his
mission to always keep him happy.
“You smell so damn good tonight,” he whispered, rubbing his nose and
lips through Knox’s fluffy hair. His dick was growing, almost ready for
action, and he flattened Knox against the vehicle with a thrust of his hips.
“Can’t wait to come in my fiancé for the first time.”
Knox let out a happy groan. “I’m kinda… ready. It’s your birthday after
all.”
Since realizing Liv was into men, or into one guy in particular for that
matter, he’d learned to embrace a whole array of turn-ons. Like the jingle of
Knox opening his belt, or the rasp of stubble against his lips. He also loved
how he could get shamelessly dirty with Knox, since they both enjoyed a
spontaneous fuck. There was time for romance, but also plenty of
opportunities to get nasty.
Fuck. Like that one time Knox had given Liv a show with a dildo wearing
just his socks. In full daylight too. So fucking hot.
This was exactly what Liv wanted for the rest of his life. This man. No
one else could compare.
Biting his lip, Liv squeezed Knox’s growing erection, making him
squirm. “Dirty boy. Wanted to get lucky on my birthday? I suppose I’ll have
to forgive you, since you did say yes to my proposal,” he whispered,
reaching between their bodies to unzip his pants.
Knox snorted. “You’re the one with the privilege to fuck my ass,” he said
but the needy little movements he was making betrayed him. Knox was
addicted to Liv. And he’d never get to test drive any other guy if Liv had
anything to say about it.
“Good. It’s all mine,” Liv whispered, cupping Knox’s buttocks as
scorching waves of arousal fueled his excitement. “And this too. And this,”
he whispered, nipping Knox’s nape, then the side of his jaw.
Knox rested his hands on the metal body of the truck, his breathing
leaving a cloud of fog on the window. “Make me yours. I’ve been thinking
about your dick all day.”
Ah Knox, he always knew what to say to set Liv on fire. “Yeah? What did
you imagine?” he asked, tugging Knox’s pants down and feeling up his
exposed flesh. Damn, was that a pert ass! Kissable. Perfect. But he’d have
more than enough time to feast his eyes later. Right now, he was a race car
burning rubber in anticipation of a winning ride.
Knox pressed his cheek to the truck, one blue eye glancing back at Liv
mischievously. “I was thinking about the way you looked yesterday. When
it was so hot and you worked in just the denim overalls. And I knew you
went commando, because we only did laundry today. I like how you smell
when you’re all sweaty, and all I wanted to do was put my face in your
armpit, but we didn’t have much time…” he whispered, rocking against
Liv’s dick like a cat in heat.
Liv trembled, sliding his fingers between Knox’s buttocks, where he felt
the texture of silicone lube. Sneaky bastard must have applied it just before
they left Frank’s place, not that Liv was complaining. “You’re always
provoking me,” he rasped, teasing the hole as he pushed his own jeans
lower, almost ready to sink into his man’s beautiful flesh. “It’s like you’re
trying to fry my brain.”
“Fuck yes, I am. Gotta keep my future husband’s attention.”
Liv toyed with the slick pucker, relishing every gasp from Knox. He
inhaled the scent of Knox’s hair, and his balls tightened with arousal. By
now, he associated that smell with being close to Knox, and half the time,
being close meant they’d be having sex sooner or later.
It was definitely time for sooner.
With a huff of excitement, Liv stroked his dick and then parted Knox’s
buttocks with it, gliding the head up and down the crack in a tantalizing, if
brief, attempt at foreplay. “Tell me what you want. Now,” he demanded,
sucking on Knox’s earlobe while the scenery around them vibrated, as if
anticipating what was to come. Or maybe it was him who couldn’t keep
still?
Knox’s sweaty hand slid over the window with a squeak. “Oh fuck. I
want you inside me. Hard and fast. I want to come first, so I get to squeeze
your thick dick with my ass and feel it when I nut.” Knox’s body trembled
as he spread his legs wider in invitation.
That was all the encouragement Liv needed. Closing his eyes, he pushed
forward, entering Knox in a long, careful thrust that made them both moan.
The tight hold of Knox’s hole made Liv’s vision blur, so he held on to him
and traced his neck and ear with his tongue. “You feel so damn perfect
every time,” he whispered, stirring his hips. “Such a good fit for me.”
 Knox’s heavy breaths quickened, and he grabbed the side mirror of the
truck to steady himself. “Fuck… You’ve got the best dick. Hug me,” he
moaned, and Liv was more than happy to comply, even though it meant
he’d be losing sight of his cock buried deep in Knox’s ass.
Without thinking, he grabbed Knox’s jaw and forced him into a hard kiss,
but when the strain this caused in Liv’s shoulder became too much, he let
go and put his arms around his man. Liv pulled halfway out, only to push
back into the welcoming hole. His balls throbbed as he got into a rhythm,
intimately close with the one person who mattered. His Knox. His
everything. It had been two years, and there were still times when this
happiness seemed like a dream.
They could pant, grunt, and moan as much as they liked here in the far
corner of the junkyard they called home. The only response they got was a
single owl hoot, and Liv didn’t give a shit about perverted animals watching
as long as he had Knox in his arms.
And as much as he couldn’t wait to come, he remembered Knox’s request
even in the blur of horny rutting. Knox wanted to come while Liv’s dick
was still inside him. That could be arranged. Easy.
He slid his hand to Knox’s cock and gave it a firm tug.
“You want me to come inside you?”
Knox whimpered, reaching back to cup the back of Liv’s head and guide
his face into the crook of his neck. His scent was even more intense now,
and Liv thrust into him hard while his hand danced up and down Knox’s
shaft. “But I can wait. I can make you wait too.”
“No!” Knox whined. “I don’t wanna wait. And yeah, I want your cum
inside me. I fucking love your sticky cum…”
The way he said those words made Liv’s senses sharpen, and he entered
Knox faster, jerking him off at a punishing speed. “Oh, I know. Can’t wait
to see it on your skin.”
Knox moaned, tensed, and his stiff dick pulsed in Liv’s grip as he blew
his load on the truck door. His hole tightened around Liv’s cock, milking it
in the glorious rhythm of spasming muscles. So hot and snug and slippery.
“Oh fuck, oh fuck…” Knox whispered. He was a masterpiece to behold
when he lost control like this. And Liv had zero incentive to take much
longer, so he let himself relax, focusing on the heat and scent of the body in
his arms. He stabbed into it a few final times before the world around them
blurred and he too satisfied his lust.
 “Happy birthday to me,” he mumbled when his breathing got less erratic.
Knox let out long, trembling exhales as he reached for Liv’s left hand.
They both wore their new rings, and it made Liv’s mind fuzzy with joy.
“It feels so good to have you inside me…” Knox said, squeezing Liv’s
hand. “Will you never leave me?” he asked in a voice so fragile Liv wanted
to wrap him in a blanket and carry him home.
A part of him wanted to ask where that had come from, on an evening
like this one at that, but that wasn’t what Knox needed, so he pulled on his
chin and kissed his sweet, plump lips. “Never. You’re my family. The only
one I ever truly wanted.”
Knox turned around to deepen the kiss and Liv’s dick slipped out of that
lovely ass. He couldn’t help himself and filled it with his finger, playing
with the cum-soaked hole as their tongues enjoyed a lazy slow dance.
Knox was so beautiful right now, and the glow coming from the
headlights revealed every detail of his messy hair, flushed skin, and even
the dark shade of his eyes.
Liv was so damn proud to be the cause of the lusty smile dancing on the
pink lips.
“I can’t wait to marry you,” Knox said, holding Liv close, and while the
rings on their fingers already made that clear, he sounded so sincere, Liv
gathered Knox in his arms and kissed the side of his head.
“We don’t have to wait.”
Knox looked up at him with shiny stars for eyes. “It's not like we can
afford an elaborate wedding anyway… Next week?”
Liv grinned, so drunk on joy he might need to walk home. “I bet we can
convince Ezra to bake another cake, future husband.”
The end
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OceanofPDF.com
 Hot but Psycho

K.A. Merikan

--- Live fast. Die young. Love forever.---

Red Jack. Rude. Crude. Horny ginger mess. Doesn’t do love.

Loki. Deadbeat. Volatile. Stalker. Desperate for love.
When it comes to men, Red Jack has three rules. The guy has to be hot,
out of town, and not up for repeats. It’s a good way to keep the gay flings
far away from the eyes of his brothers in the Coffin Nails Motorcycle Club,
and he will make damn sure it stays that way. When his latest hookup turns
up at his house, the heat is on. Loki invades his life and just won’t leave,
wreaking havoc wherever he follows Jack, but getting rid of him becomes
harder with every kiss.
The world crumbles around Loki when he finds out he has cancer. As if
his life wasn’t shit enough already. Believing he only has a few months left,
he decides to live to the fullest and get every last wish on his bucket list
fulfilled. One of those is f*cking Red Jack, the hot ginger biker god. Big,
confident, and dangerous, Jack is all Loki ever wanted in a man. After all,
he deserves one last shot at love. Who cares that Red Jack is a stubborn,
closeted asshole? Loki knows what he wants, and he won’t settle for
anything less. Even if it kills him.
Together, they are a disaster on a Harley, but mad love, obsessive
devotion, and a frenzy of jealousy might just be what they both need to feel
alive.

“Hot but Psycho” is a standalone Motorcycle club romance with a Happy

Ever After that will keep you guessing to the very end.
Themes: Outlaw motorcycle club, crime, hurt/comfort, abuse, sexual
orientation issues, stalking, revenge, bucket list, coping with illness, first
love, size difference, idiots in love, volatile relationship
Genre: M/M dark romance, suspense, drama
Length: ~105,000 words
WARNING: Adult content. Explicit steamy scenes, strong language,
graphic violence, abuse scenes, drug use. Reader discretion advised.
“Hot but Psycho” has been previously published as “Red Hot”
Available on AMAZON

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 Their Bounty

K.A. Merikan

--- Taken. Prized. Possessed. Loved. ---

Clover is an orphan and has led a tough and chaotic life. No stability. No
money. No friends. He trusts no one. His already miserable life takes a
nosedive when he ends up in the hands of a human trafficking gang.
Someone has placed a request for a young albino man, and Clover is to
become the property of a mysterious buyer who will stop at nothing to
satisfy their depraved desire. Clover’s fate seems sealed until four bounty
hunters appear to take out his captors and accidentally save him.The four
mercenaries want to move on, but when Clover pleads for protection, they
offer it to him at a price. In the beginning, the arrangement is all kinds of
shady, but as he gets to know the four men who’ve taken him on a wild
ride, his developing feelings might become as dangerous as the elusive
buyer. But can a relationship with four such different men even work? Men
who kill for a living? Men so full of contradictions?Tank. The massive ex-
soldier eager to be Clover’s Daddy.Pyro. Wild, tattooed, with a filthy mouth
and an itch for violence.Boar. Ginger, bearded, a big teddy bear who can
turn into a grizzly.Drake. Dark and dangerous, with a tongue as sharp as his
knives.Can these men provide him with the love and security he craves? Or
has Clover made the worst mistake of his life?

THEIR BOUNTY is a dark gay harem contemporary romance, book 1 in

the “Four Mercenaries” trilogy. The story contains scenes of explicit
violence, offensive language, morally ambiguous characters and lots of
scorching hot, emotional, explicit scenes.
Themes: abduction, polyamory, mercenaries, bounty hunters, albinism,
commitment issues, indecent proposal, dark past, male bonding, human
trafficking, size difference, enemies to lovers, danger, alpha male, found
family, size difference, distrust, shared, victim and protector
Length: ~90,000 words
Available on Amazon

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 About the author

K.A. MERIKAN IS A duo of queer writers who don’t believe in following

the well-trodden path. In their books you can dip your toe into dangerous
romance with mafiosi, outlaw bikers and bad boys, all from the safety of
your sofa. They love the weird and wonderful, stepping out of the box, and
bending stereotypes both in life and in fiction. Their stories don’t shy away
from exploring the darker side of M/M romance, and feature a variety of
anti-heroes, rebels, misfits, and underdogs who go against the grain.
Be prepared for shocking twists, dark humor, raw emotions, and sizzling
hot scenes.

e-mail: kamerikan@gmail.com
http://kamerikan.com

More information about works in progress and publishing at:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1817541075240882
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kamerikan

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