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Maxime Albrecht

CRW3110

Prompt 1 (restaurant review 😉)

“Just Desserts”

« Welcome, my friend, to the greatest diner on Earth! There is no place like mine, I

assure you. If you’re here, it must mean that you have truly deserved to be part of this … What’s

the matter, minion! Why are gesticulating like a devil, what’s the… Oh yes, right, good remark,

thank you minion… Welcome, my friend, to the greatest diner that is on or under the Earth! I

think that’s correct, right? Because we’re not on technically on Earth, and yet we’re better than

all the places there. You, my friend, are the lucky guest of one of our inclusive locations, which

is available only to… Belzie, no, put back your skinner! The meat is still cold! Where was I? Oh

right… So, as I was saying, you have the amazing chance to… Wait, you’re asking why Belzie

has a knife? Well, he is a chef of course! No, not the head chef, that guy is in the VIP section, but

Belzie knows his way around the chopping block, I guarantee you… Yes, Belzie, you’re just as

good as Asmie… See how’s he’s smiling? What a knob…

So, I was saying, my friend, you, a famous restaurant critic, have the unheard-of opportunity to

review this place, which, I don’t have to remind you, is quite a gracious gift. Here, let me get you

a menu… Where are we, you ask? Silly, you still haven’t figured it out? I expected more of a
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discerning eye like yours. Well, let me tell you a story. It all started with two people, and this

perfect place my dad had built. It had an endless menu, all kinds of fruits and divine selections.

The problem was, the food was bland, and the flavor never changed. So, without my Dad

knowing, I snuck into the kitchen and made my own recipe, and gave it to you people to try, you

know, to see if you would appreciate it. And you guys, you enjoyed it. Best day of my life, I’m

telling you. But you know how dear old Dad reacted? He threw a hissy fit, jealous of my success,

and kicked me out of his place. It’s been quite a while now… And now here I am, owner of my

place. Hm. Well, anyways, you get the picture now, my friend. You do, right? Oh, yes you do.

Oh, I can see it in your eyes, you know now… You want to leave, you say? No, my friend, you

can’t. You need to review our selection here first, you know? Maybe after, we can talk about it,

you get me? How does that sound? Good? For hell’s sake, wipe your tears, you’re going to make

me sick. Minion, where’s that menu at!? Oh, its right here, thank you minion...

Look through it, my friend, I want you to glance through it first and watch your reaction. Isn’t it

exciting, minion? The first review of my place! Yes, that’s right. This is a menu of all different

tortures we offer you, our clients. I know you don’t have your flesh shell anymore, not really, but

don’t worry. After a while, the feeling gets so real, it is as if you can taste it! It’s just marvelous,

isn’t it? There’s even a trick to it, my friend. You always somehow choose the exact item that

you inflicted on others on Earth. Where did you think the saying came from, just desserts? That

saying is a me original, my hand on a bonfire… No, minion, I didn’t steal your idea, you

vindictive little vermin! It was mine all along. You say one more word, I’ll make your life a

living hell! Ha. You see what I did there? That was a good one. Minion, write it down… Oh hell,

here he goes, crying again. Belzebub, didn’t I tell my friend here that crying makes me sick? Oh

well, I think he’s not gonna stop. Seems he has reached his breaking point for today. A shame.
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Okay then, Belzebub, the guest is under your care now, go have fun. And don’t forget to tell me

his review.”