Additional Activities and Assignments

1. Writing Improvement Exercises.

a. Audience Benefits and the “You” View (Writing Improvement Exercises #1, 2-
4)
i. Student Directions. Revise the following sentences to emphasize the
perspective of the audience and the “you” view.
(1) Because we have automated our mobile worker trip forms, we
need all employees to use the SmartTrip travel reimbursement
mobile app. This is the fastest way to be reimbursed.
(2) We are issuing all our customers new chip-enabled credit cards
to replace expired or lost cards and prevent increasingly costly
payouts we have suffered from cyberfraud.
(3) Our strict safety policy does not allow us to rent power
equipment to anyone who cannot demonstrate sufficient skill
in its use.
(4) We’re asking that all employees fill out the online survey by
April 1 so that we may develop a master schedule for summer
vacations more efficiently.
(5) Our app developers are excited to announce a new free app
called FanMile that we believe will entice fans to share, like,
and subscribe to your content.
(6) To minimize the cost of having our coaches set up your team
training sessions in our limited office space, we suggest
conducting customized team training for your employees right
in your own building.
(7) We take pride in our national policy of selling name brands at
discount prices. That’s why we can allow store credit, but we
cannot give cash refunds on returned merchandise.
b. Conversational but Professional (Writing Improvement Exercises #2, 2-4)
i. Student Directions. Revise the following to make the tone
conversational yet professional.
(1) BTW, Madison blew a gasket when the manager accused the
whole department of ripping off pricey office supplies.
(2) As per your recent request, the undersigned is happy to inform
you that we are sending you forthwith the procedure manuals
you requested.
(3) Kindly be informed that it is necessary for you to designate the
model number of the laser cutting machine before we can ship
your order.
(4) Pursuant to your e-mail of the 4th, please be advised that your
shipment was sent March 6.
 (5) R head honcho wz like totally raggety kuz I wz sick n stuff n
mist the team meet. Geez!
(6) The undersigned respectfully reminds affected individuals that
employees desirous of changing their health plans must do so
before December 31.
c. Positive and Courteous Expression (Writing Improvement Exercises #3, 2-5)
i. Student Directions. Revise the following statements to make them
more positive and courteous.
(1) We are sorry to let you know that we can offer the 30 percent
rebate only to the first 25 buyers, so hurry up!
(2) Construction on your building is at a standstill because the
contractor is unable to pour footings until the soil is no longer
soggy.
(3) A travel visa cannot be issued until an application is completed
and a recent photo is included.
(4) Your message of June 1 claims that the blade in your food
processor malfunctioned. Although you apparently failed to
read the operator’s manual, we are sending you a replacement
blade PLUS another manual. Next time read page 18 carefully
so that you will know how to attach this blade.
(5) Customers are ineligible for the 25 percent discount if they fail
to provide the discount code at the time of purchase.
(6) As team leader, you apparently failed to remember that you
have already assigned me two gigantic and complex research
tasks, and now you have dumped another big job on me—one
that I can’t possibly begin until after I finish the other two jobs.
d. Bias-Free Language (Writing Improvement Exercises #4, 2-5)
i. Student Directions. Revise the following sentences to reduce bias (e.g.,
gender, racial, ethnic, age, and disability).
(1) The conference in Honolulu offers special side trips for the
wives of executives.
(2) Sports Research International hired Demarcus Jones, an
African American, for the position of social media coordinator.
(3) In the past a skilled assistant would proofread her boss’s
documents and correct any errors he made.
(4) Douglas Luna is crippled with arthritis, but his crippling rarely
interferes with his work.
(5) Recently elected to the city council are a lady lawyer, an Indian
CPA, and two businessmen.
e. Plain Language and Familiar Words (Writing Improvement Exercises #5, 2-5)
i. Student Directions. Revise the following sentences to use plain
language and familiar words.
 (1) Civil Service exams were once required for federal government
jobs, but they were phased out subsequent to the passage of
antidiscrimination laws.
(2) To expedite ratification of the agreement, we beseech you to
vote in the affirmative.
(3) Although the remuneration for the position of social media
consultant seems low, it is commensurate with other pay
packages for similar positions.
(4) The attorney tried to obfuscate the issue with extraneous and
superfluous data.
(5) Although researchers dialogued with individual students on
campus, subsequent group interviews proved fruitless.
f. Precise, Vigorous Words (Writing Improvement Exercises #6, 2-5)
i. Student Directions. From the choices in parentheses, select the most
precise, vigorous words.
(1) If you receive two job offers at once, you can probably (get,
land, negotiate) a better deal.
(2) Dakota’s outstanding report contains (a lot of, loads of, reams
of) helpful data.
(3) The CEO said that we must (review, change, reduce) overtime
hours to (fix, balance, rework) the budget.
(4) Our operations manager demanded a (substantial, 20 percent,
big) reduction in staff travel expenditures.
(5) In the courtroom the attorney (said, alleged, thought) that the
car was stolen.
(6) As you suggested, we will (question, interrogate, probe) our
accountant.
g. Selecting Communication Channels (Writing Improvement Exercises #7, 2-3)
i. Student Directions. Using Figure 2.5, suggest the best communication
channels for the following messages. Assume that all channels are
available. Be prepared to explain your choice.
(1) You want to know what team members are available
immediately for a quick video conference. They are all
workaholics and glued to their mobile devices.
(2) As a manager during a company reorganization, you must tell
nine workers that their employment is being terminated.
(3) You need to know whether Miguel in Reprographics can
produce a rush job for you in two days.
(4) A prospective client in France wants price quotes for a number
of your products—vite, vite!
(5) As vice president for community relations, you want to explore
the possibility of developing service learning programs with
several nearby colleges and universities.
 (6) You must respond to a letter from the Internal Revenue Service
informing you that your company did not pay the correct
amount for last quarter’s employer’s taxes.
2. Radical Rewrites
a. Radical Rewrite: Salvaging a Negative, Unprofessional Message (Radical
Rewrite #2.1, 2-4, 2-5)
i. In the sample email provided in the textbook, Avianca Keller, the vice
president of employee relations, seeks to help supervisors and
managers write safe and helpful performance reviews.
ii. Student Directions. Analyze the problematic e-mail. List at least five
weaknesses. Pay special attention to its tone. Your instructor may ask
you to revise the e-mail so that it reflects some of the writing
techniques you learned in this chapter. How can you make this e-mail
more courteous, positive, concise, precise, and audience centered?
Your instructor may ask you to revise this message as a collaboration
project using Google Docs or Word’s Track Changes and Comment
features.