Installing the LOVE program

Characters
 Answering machine
 Tech Support 1
 Tech Support 2
 Customer

Ring, Ring, Ring, Ring….

Answering machine: Hello, thank you for calling the IHeart service. Please press 1 for information regarding purchase
instructions. Please press 2 for technical support……….Please wait a moment a Technician will be with you shortly.
MUSIC………….
Tech Support 1: Hello, welcome to IHeart.com computers technical support service, Cathy speaking, how can I help you?
Customer: Oh hello! My name is Maria and I’m having trouble with the IHeart service.
Tech Support 1: Yes we can definitely help you with that! What version are you using?
Customer: The 17/3/1999 version.
Tech Support 1: Okay. I’ll just bring up the operating system. What seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well I’m having trouble installing the LOVE program. It’s very muffly, lags, and freezes a lot and I don’t know
what to do.
Tech Support 1: Okay. Can I have access to your Heart drive.
Customer: Yes just let me know how to do it.
Tech Support 1: Alright I’m just logging on and I’ll send you a message. Okay it should have come through. When you’re
ready just agree to the terms and conditions and we’ll move on from there.
Customer: Okay done.
Tech Support 1: Well Ma’am after reviewing your Heart Drive I’m going to have to pass you on to a senior support
consultant who is more experienced in this area, please hold for a moment.
MUSIC……………..
Tech Support 2: Ok Ma’am, let’s have a look. What programs are running on your system right now?
Customer: Let me see…I have PASTHURT.EXE, ANGER.EXE AND RESENTMENT.COM running.
Tech Support 2: Ma’am they contain malware and they must be removed immediately because they contain inbuilt
software that disrupts the LOVE program from running smoothly. Oh my you’ve also installed hate, that’s a rotten virus
that one! Oh and grudge is even worse! They will infiltrate your system like no tomorrow! How on earth did you contract
these viruses?
Customer: So how do I get rid of them?
Tech Support 2: Well its simple go to the start menu and download FORGIVENESS.EXE.
Customer: Okay. I’ve just done that but I have an error message. It Says, “Error 412 – Program Not Responding”. What
should I do?
Tech Support 2: Don’t worry ma’am, let’s have a look at what other programs you have running in the background.
Customer: Well I’ve got NICENESS.EXE running in the background shouldn’t that work to override other harmful
viruses?
Tech Support 2: Well look Ma’am having NICENESS.EXE isn’t enough to override those viruses you need to download a
GOODNESS package from the IHeart directory, and the following programs will automatically install: HUMILITY.COM,
SINCERITY.ORG, GOOD THOUGHTS.PNG, and ALMSGIVING.DOC. The GOODNESS package will overwrite any
conflicting files and remove faulty programmes. Also you have to empty your recycle bin and make sure all dangerous
programs are completely eradicated.
Customer: Beep. Beep. Beep. Okay all done. Why it’s much better now!
Tech Support 2: Also click on the tab that says SPIITUAL FATHER, that’s a special one that one! It’s an automatic
wizardry system. You let it know what’s wrong and it will figure out the perfect solution. It helps to keep the love software
clean and running smoothly and efficiently.
Customer: Beep. Beep. Beep. Got it! Hey! My Heart DRIVE is filling up with some amazing files! SMILE.MPG is playing
on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying
themselves all over my HEART DRIVE!
Tech Support 2: Wonderful! That means that LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here.
Though one more thing before I go.
Customer: Yes?
Tech Support 2: Remember, LOVE is freeware – share it with everyone you meet.
Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.
Tech Support 2: My pleasure. Don’t hesitate to call again if run into any issues!