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What can people do to live a long life?

startanewlife 2 / 2 Aug 14, 2006 #1

What can people do to live a long life? This is a common

question throughout our life. Many people want to live long, so
they have to keep tract of their daily activities. A single simple
fact could change people's life span. These facts could be
smoking, sleeping habit and exercise.

Smoking is a harmful habit to people. It will decrease the life

span for people. It causes lung cancer and lung diseases. In
addition, smoking contributes to numerous illnesses that do
not necessarily result in death. But it will certainly decrease
their life span. Smoking not only decreases the person's life
span, but it also decreases the life span of the people around
that person. This is called second-hand smoking. Second-
hand smoke is more dangerous than directly inhaled smoke.
The smoking person not only caused harm to himself but also
to others. Stop smoking will increase one's life span.

Having a good sleeping habit is necessary for people to live

long. People who slept more than eight hours a night, or less
than four hours, showed an increased risk of death. People
who sleep five, six or seven hours have a higher life
expectancy. Sleeping longer may be associated with higher
death rates. Not getting enough sleep can also result death.
Having a good sleeping habit will make one live long.

Exercise not only extends people's life, but also improves the
quality of those extra years. Exercise may reduce risk of
breast cancer. It can also help to control obesity, high blood
pressure and diabetes. Exercise is important to our health. As
long as people have a healthy life, they can live long. Quality
of people's living year is likely to be improved by regular
physical activity.

As long as people don't smoke, have a good sleeping habit

and do regular exercise, they will be able to live long. These
are essential factors for people who want to live long and they
are essential to our health. A good habit of doing things will
increase people's life span.

EF_Team4 - / 13 Aug 15, 2006 #2

Greetings!

Overall, this is a fine start, but I'd go through this sentence by

sentence and eliminate and/or fix all instances of repetition.
For example, the first two sentences of the second paragraph
repeat the word "people," and not just repeat it, but use it in
exactly the same place (the last word of the sentence). In fact,
you use the word "people" a WHOLE lot. I'd try rewording
most of the sentences that use that word.

Also, I'd try combining many of your shorter sentences. For

example, in the next to last paragraph, you can try this
sentence to replace the second, third, and fourth sentences:
"Exercise is important to good health; it can reduce the risk of
breat cancer, control obesity and diabetes, and lower high
blood pressure."

With these few tips, your essay should be greatly improved!

Thanks,

Miriam, EssayForum.com

OP startanewlife 2 / 2 Sep 2, 2006 #3

thankyou for your advice...It's really helpful

i have a couple comments about this forum....

first...i noticed a problem...people can't edit their own
poster...for example..i can't go back and edit what i wrote...in
the first post...

secondly..i think there should be some functions such as

"private messaging" between Moderator and people who have
joined the forum. It's easier for people who want to get
message across fast....```so i hope these functions will be
considered to be added to this forum. ThankS Again for yours
great advices about my essay.`

EF_Team2 1 / 1,708 Sep 2, 2006 #4

Greetings!

While I can understand why you might want to edit your post
or to have "private messaging" on the site, the nature of this
service is to be a public forum. As such, the posts will be read
by members and changing them later could be confusing,
particularly when there are responses posted. Also, being a
public forum means we cannot provide private replies or
arrange for private correspondence.

I'm glad you found the advice you received helpful! I hope we
can continue to provide you assistance in the future.

Thanks,

Sarah, EssayForum.com

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