1

Dipartimento di Sociologia e Ricerca Sociale

Department of Sociology and Social Research

PhD program: URBEUR - Urban Studies

Locating Loneliness in Urban Spaces

A qualitative study of how public and semi-public spaces in Milan and Manchester shape
the coping behaviour of young adults

Localizzare la solitudine negli spazi urbani

Uno studio qualitativo di come gli spazi pubblici e semi-pubblici a Milano e Manchester
danno forma alle strategie di coping dei giovani adulti

Tom Brennecke
(854558)

Supervisor at University of Milan-Bicocca: Prof. Giampaolo Nuvolati

Supervisor at Manchester Metropolitan University: Dr. James Duggan
Coordinator: Prof. Lavinia Bifulco

Academic year: 2019 - 2023/35th Cycle

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Foreword

During this research, many of my respondents and colleagues assumed I had started to be
interested in loneliness precisely because of the Covid-19 pandemic. I then replied that I started to
research loneliness already before the pandemic. But indeed, the pandemic, especially the very first
wave of infections and consequent lockdowns were - despite the difficulty of the times - periods
that made me think more extensively and in different ways about my topic. For example, not even
two weeks into the first lockdown, I wrote an article (for a small Rome-based English online
newspaper) about the mental challenge the pandemic would pose to Italian society, which had
been facing rapidly increasing infections as one of the first in Europe. In this article, I warned of
loneliness and social isolation. Whereas in the first weeks of the pandemic containment of the
spread and risk management seemed foregrounded, many (young) people quickly faced the
challenges of loneliness and social isolation. By now in 2022, articles about lockdowns and
quarantine-related mental health are manifold. However, a er having talked to 40 people during
the pandemic and therefore listened to 40 narratives of loneliness, I gained a more wholesome
picture with conclusions less straightforward than saying that lockdowns simply lead to (more)
loneliness: Some people seem to enjoy the time for themselves, others found new social connections
with the partner or family and my respondents o en felt better seeing everyone else seemingly in
such a lonely place they themselves lived in for quite some time. Not so surprising, the pandemic
highlighted who feels lonely and why by making visible who is most dependent on a rich and
diverse social life: It is the Old and it is the Young. In fact, according to reports from the United
Kingdom and European Union, young adults were amongst the most lonely during lockdowns,
especially if they lived alone. And not everyone managed to stay mentally healthy, from
experiencing a decline in their daily motivations to carry out a task to experiencing severe
depression. However, early thoughts of concentrating solely on the pandemic in my thesis were
dismissed and I treated the different stages of lockdowns as various accentuations of already
existing emotions, letting my respondents choose the degree to which they want to include the
pandemic. For many, however, doing the interview and participating in my research seemed more
than just being helpful to a young researcher - it seemed to be a chance for them to leave the house,
do something different, open up about their emotions and frankly speaking, talking to a new
person.
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This research has been carried out and this dissertation has been written in British English. Quotes are adjusted accordingly. Quotes from
respondents have been changed only to enhance understanding - sentence structure and grammar may have minor mistakes. References
(Footnotes and bibliography) remain unchanged.
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Abstract

In this research, I investigated the experience of loneliness for young adults,

concentrating on how these young adults cope socially and spatially when feeling lonely.
This study is rooted in Milan and Manchester and has aimed to develop coping
behaviours, that is, to understand how young adults make use of their social and spatial
resources. To achieve this, I choose a qualitative approach, using mainly Narrative
Interviews as a method and concentrating on collecting and analysing the descriptions,
perceptions and motivations behind people’s coping strategies. I further shed light on the
multidisciplinary nature of loneliness and the importance of researching it from various
perspectives - not only psychologically. Further, the coping behaviours inform
architectural practices, social policy and the work of social organisations. Additionally, I
hope to enhance the knowledge of loneliness and offer new contemporary perspectives,
away from describing an unpleasant state of being alone to a much more complex social
and emotional experience. This research displays loneliness within a sociological context
in that it can no longer be seen as an individual skills deficit but as a social experience that
is constantly shaped and negotiated by the individual experiencing it and the socio-spatial
environment around it. Along this research, I touch and reflect upon various knowledge
fields and topics: usage of public and semi-public spaces, urban transport and
infrastructure, architectural design and materials, urban versus rural, the psychological
perceptions and considerations of people in their everyday life, social capital, place
attachment, technological enhancement and individualism.

Keywords: Loneliness, Social Isolation, Aloneness, Solitude, Public Space, Semi-Public Space, Private Space, Urban Space,
Young Adults, Coping, Coping Behaviour
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Abstract Italian

In questa tesi, ho condotto una ricerca sull'esperienza della solitudine che provano i
giovani adulti, focalizzandomi sulle strategie di coping sociali e spaziali quando si sentono
soli. Lo studio ha avuto luogo a Milano e Manchester e ha avuto l'obiettivo di approfondire
e sviluppare le strategie di coping, ovvero capire come i giovani adulti fanno uso delle loro
risorse sociali e spaziali. Per raggiungere tale obiettivo, ho usato un approccio qualitativo,
usando principalmente il metodo delle interviste narrative, concentrandomi sulla raccolta
ed analisi delle descrizioni, percezioni e motivazioni dietro le strategie di coping. Ho
indagato ulteriormente la natura multidisciplinare della solitudine e l'importanza di fare
ricerca da diverse prospettive - non solo quella psicologica. Inoltre, le strategie di coping
possono avere influenza nelle pratiche architettoniche, le politiche sociali e il lavoro delle
organizzazioni sociali. Il mio auspicio quindi è anche quello di approfondire la conoscenza
della solitudine e offrire nuove prospettive contemporanee che vadano oltre la descrizione
di uno stato spiacevole di solitudine, ma che vadano ad indagare in modo più complesso la
situazione sociale ed emotiva. Questa ricerca mostra la solitudine all'interno di un
contesto sociologico in modo che non sia più vista come un deficit individuale, ma come
un'esperienza sociale che è costantemente modellata e negoziata dall'esperienza
individuale e il contesto socio-spaziale che lo circonda. Nel corso della ricerca, affronto e
rifletto su diversi campi di conoscenza e argomenti: l'uso dello spazio pubblico e
semi-pubblico, il trasporto urbano e le infrastrutture, il design architettonico e i materiali,
la dicotomia urbano/rurale, la percezione psicologica e le considerazioni delle persone
nella vita di tutti i giorni, il capitale sociale, l'attaccamento al luogo, il rafforzamento
tecnologico e l'individualismo.

Parole Chiave: Solitudine, Isolamento Sociale, Isolamento, Spazio Pubblico, Spazio semi-pubblico, Spazio Privato, Spazio
Urbano, Giovani adulti, Coping, Strategie di Coping
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Table of Contents

Introduction
This Research
The Origins of Loneliness and Loneliness Research: From an Individual Problem…
The Origin of Loneliness and of Loneliness Research: Towards a Social Phenomenon…
Defining Loneliness
Is there an ‘Urban Loneliness’?
The Price to Pay - What Loneliness Costs Whom
Social Stigma of Loneliness

Introduction: Reflections on Loneliness and Postmodernity

Individualism and Indifference
Lonely Individualist and Non-Lonely Collectivist?
A Livable City is not a Lonely City
Loneliness across Cultures
Symbols of Loneliness

PART I
Literature Review: Loneliness as Sociological Research
Individual Factors
Age and Gender - Character: Shyness and Social Anxiety
Social and Cultural Factors
Loneliness and Internet use - Loneliness and a Sense of Community - Co-Living
Environmental and Spatial Factors
Social Policies - Living Alone - Qualities of Space - Virtual Space

Theoretical Framework: A Socio-Spatial Approach

Social Capital & Place Attachment: Two Notions to Explain the Experience of Loneliness
Conceptual Model
Advanced Model
A Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness
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PART II
This Study: Loneliness in Italy (Milan) and the United Kingdom (Manchester)
A Socio-Spatial Overview of Italy and Milan
A Socio-Spatial overview of the United Kingdom and Manchester
The Situation during the Lockdown
A Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness in Milan and Manchester
Lines of Comparison

Research Question
Research Gaps
Research Question
Hypotheses
Focus Area: Young adults in Urban Space

PART III
Methodology and Methods
An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Loneliness
A Phenomenological Reading of Young Adults in Urban Space
Narratives of Loneliness
Walking and Talking
Steps of Analysis

Finding Respondents
Preliminary Interviews
Types of Data
Social Streets
General Notes on Contact to Respondents
Demographics of Respondents
UCLA - University of California Los Angeles Loneliness Scale

Themes and Profiles

Socio-Spatial Themes
Individual-Social Profiles
Profiles of Milan and Manchester
Establishment of Themes
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UCLA-Results
Definitions of Loneliness

PART IV
Towards a Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness
UCLA-Results
Definitions of Loneliness: Respondents’ and Academic
Symbols of Loneliness
Development of Coping Behaviours based on Themes

Towards a Phenomenological Typology

Analysis of each Coping Behaviour along Variables
Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC)
Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US)
Environmental changes and chances (EC)
Connecting and interacting with other people (CI)
Pro-Active Behaviour and learned loneliness (PA)
Changing one's mindspace (CM)
Retreat, Hide & Avoid (RAA)

Current Coping Behaviour and Contributions

New Coping Behaviours and Common Coping Connections
Coping Behaviours across Research
Research Gaps Response
Coping in a Socio-Spatial Framework: Learnings about Social Capital and (Place) Attachment

Locating Loneliness in Milan and Manchester

How to Read and Use the Coping Behaviours
Mapping Coping Behaviour
Socio-Spatial Coping Awareness
Atmospheres of Loneliness
Learnings about Urban Spaces of Milan and Manchester
Ideal Spaces

Learning from Loneliness

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Outcome of Loneliness
Learnings about Postmodern-Living-Conditions
Learnings about Loneliness and Urban loneliness
Hypotheses

PART V
Summary
Research Idea, Research Question, Theoretical Framework
Research Context
Methodology and Methods
Respondents
Findings: Themes and Coping Behaviours
Socio-Spatial Learnings about Milan and Manchester
Learnings about Loneliness

Future of Loneliness Research

Limitations
Encouragement of New Methods and Methodologies
Emergence of New Research Areas
Invitation to Rethink Loneliness from Social Pain to Multifaceted Phenomenon
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Table of Contents by Main Parts

Introduction

PART I
Literature Review: Loneliness as Sociological Research

PART II
This Study: Loneliness in Italy (Milan) and the United Kingdom (Manchester)

PART III
Methodology and Methods

PART IV
Towards a Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness

PART V
Summary
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Introduction
This Research

Figure 1: Statista Research Department. Statista. “What makes you feel lonely?”. (Italy, Statista, 2021).
https://www.statista.com/statistics/1211670/reasons-for-loneliness-among-young-people-in-italy/

I do not feel I am loved is the most common answer to the question why people felt
lonely in Italy in January 2021, when this statistic was produced. Having different interests,
not feeling listened to and not attending social gatherings are the other most common answers.
It is to note, that two of these answers are subjective evaluations - I do not feel - and two
are more objectively or factual - I have different interests/I do not attend social gatherings.
Thus, three learnings about loneliness exist here at the very beginning: It is the quality
and quantity of social interaction that matters for its experience and it concerns the
individual, social and spatial dimension that influences this experience. It can further be
seen that some of it concerns the emotional side of social interactions - love - and others
more the individual and social - having similar interests, feeling not listened to. These
different aspects are however of course not mutually exclusive categories. Many of these
answers will be part and parcel throughout this thesis and my aim will be to portray
loneliness from different perspectives, highlighting its emergence and processual dynamic
character rather than stigmatising it as a problem.
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In this research, I focused on the investigation of how young adults (18-34 years old) that
experience (or experienced) loneliness cope with this loneliness. Having said this, the
European Union defines youth as aged from 16 to 29, whereas Eurostat uses for some
12
statistics 18 to 34 as young adults. It is mainly the people that can be termed Generation Y
and partly Generation Z, born between the mid to late 1980s and the late 1990s or early
34
2000s. These young adults have experienced loneliness for various reasons and are,
within the range of being young adults, at different stages of their respective lives.
Nevertheless, for different reasons they experience a yet similar distinctive emotional
experience that can be identified as loneliness. Some of them may go through this
experience for years, for others, it is a novel territory, so, for example, related to the
pandemic. For most, however, it is a challenge in their life, an obstacle at first glance they
have to overcome, meaning loneliness is painful, troublesome or hindering enough for
people to provide a challenge. Their abilities, motivations and applied coping behaviour to
overcome this obstacle are the focus of this research.

Instead of researching loneliness as a phenomenon per sé - what do people mean when they
say loneliness? - I concentrated on the research of what people experience and do. That is
because loneliness is subjective and bound to the narrative of each person having
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internalised the emotional experience. Within these narratives, I was especially interested
to understand how young adults cope with loneliness, meaning which social and spatial
resources they rely on, activate and use. Coping can be defined as the “fact of dealing
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successfully with problems or difficult situations.” In a more sociological definition,
coping can be understood as “[...] constantly changing cognitive and behavioural efforts to
manage specific external and/or internal demands that are appraised as taxing or
7
exceeding the resources of the person.” Coping is therefore a process that can be
successful, or within which a person can succeed - in this research, it may simply mean

1
Eurostat. European Union. “Being Young in Europe Today”. (accessed: 31.03.2022).
https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/cache/infographs/youth/index_en.html
2
Eurostat. European Union. “Share of young adults aged 18-34 living with their parents”. (accessed: May 13th 2020).
https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/en/web/products-datasets/-/ILC_LVPS08
3
Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries. “Generation Y”. (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2020), (accessed: 31.03.2022).
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/generation-y
4
Cambridge Dictionary. “Generation Z”. Cambridge, Cambridge University Press. (accessed: 31.03.2022).
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/generation-z
5
See for example John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”.
(New York, Norton Paperback, 2009): 5
6
Cambridge Dictionary. “Coping”. (Cambridge, Cambridge University Press). (accessed: 31.03.2022).
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/coping
7
Richard S. Lazarus and Susan Folkman. “Stress, Appraisal and Coping.”The Coping Process: An alternative to coping to
traditional formulations: Definition of Coping.” (Springer Publishing Company, New York, 1984): 141
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not being lonely anymore or perhaps having learned to live with a sense of loneliness.
However, the people I have talked to had not achieved that yet or when they had, the
period of loneliness had le a stark imprint on their life in general - an emotional
experience still present in their minds.

To explore coping behaviour, I focused on the analysis of social and spatial resources,
meaning which people (or relationships) become relevant or less relevant and which
spaces become relevant in the life of young adults when faced with loneliness. First and
foremost, I concentrated on public and semi-public spaces in this research, but space
henceforth indicates the physical environment as well as space as socially constructed and
8
individually perceived atmospheres. To my knowledge, such extensive study with a
socio-spatial focus has never been undertaken and as of starting the research, there was
ground to believe that the socio-spatial environment plays a major part in people’s life
when faced with loneliness: Firstly because I carried out a set of preliminary interviews
shortly a er I started the research to understand the exact field within loneliness research
I am interested in and secondly, because of a new type of literature and projects that were
published, so, for example, an architectural competition that sought to Eliminate Loneliness
9
Through Design. Additionally, the term urban has been recently used more o en with
regard to loneliness and o en portrayed urban spaces as unfriendly spaces whose
inhabitants are stressed and have no time to interact with one another - perhaps as
10
opposed to a more romantic idea of rural spaces. Loneliness, thus being linked to the
city, therefore puts focus on concentrating on how cities should be designed and made
resilient for the future, so for example how emotional experiences such as loneliness can
be incorporated into urban planning. But to answer this, it is relevant to understand in
what sense loneliness and urban spaces (physically and socially) are interlinked. Thus, to
investigate this research interest, I have asked: How do young adults cope socially and
spatially in public and semi-public spaces within the experience of loneliness?

This research yielded no straightforward answers and rather opened up and reflected
upon an array of topics such as usage of public and semi-public spaces, urban transport
and infrastructure, livable cities, architectural design and materials, urban versus rural,

8
In this thesis, I have relied on the word ‘place’ for emotionally meaningful space and the term ‘space’ to describe an
environment more generally. See for example Yi-Fu Tuan. “Space and Place: the perspective of experience”. (Minneapolis,
University of Minnesota Press, 1977)
9
Bubble Futures. “Eliminate Loneliness Through Design”. ([no month] 2019). https://bubblefutures.com/eliminate-loneliness/
10
See for example Chrissie Molzner and Christie Hartman. Roots of Loneliness. “Urban Loneliness & Isolation: The Dark
Side Of Living In A Big City”. (accessed: 31.03.2022). https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/urban-loneliness-isolation
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the psychological perceptions and considerations of people in their everyday life, social
capital, social cohesion, place attachment, technological enhancement and individualism.
This list of topics that became relevant during this research could go on, but it goes to
show that loneliness research came a long way from being classified as an illness and
mental health problem to being seen in a societal and cultural context, as for example
Batsleer and Duggan state in their research on youth loneliness: “The account of
loneliness thus far is derived from research in psychology but our approach to the
Loneliness Connects Us project was that no single discipline is capable of adequately
engaging with such a diverse subject as youth loneliness. To be able to hope to understand
youth loneliness in an appropriate context required analyses of psychology and
epidemiology but also readings in youth studies, politics and sociological discussions of
the effects of the austerity regime or precaritised work and the young people’s use of the
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Internet and social media technologies'' It may be surprising to see how many topics
and disciplines are concerned with loneliness nowadays, given that for the longest time it
was in the hands of psychologists. This may, on one hand, reflect on a general tendency in
academia to consider and allow for topics to be researched interdisciplinary, but may on
the flipside be a testimony to a new social consciousness and collective attitude - if you feel
lonely, it is our problem. Hence, there seems to be an agreement that loneliness comes into
existence in-between society and the individual - one could think about loneliness as the
(painful) result of an intense reflection of someone’s position in society as the most
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general definition possible. This points to a type of approach, that is deductive, in the
sense that I have a preliminary but predetermined knowledge and understanding of
loneliness and can expect to find certain outcomes, experiences, results or behavioural
patterns (such as when I feel lonely, I call my friend) but similarly inductive, in the sense that
the individual experiencing loneliness informs the general understanding and definition
of it. To shed light on the trajectory of the idea of loneliness and loneliness research as
research in the state of becoming is the aim of the next part of the introduction.

First, however, I will explain the trajectory of this thesis. In this prolonged introduction, I
will reflect on various topics around loneliness before I specify and concentrate on some
of these in more detail - so for example urban loneliness in PART I: Literature Review:
Loneliness as Sociological Research. It is very relevant to establish a common ground of
understanding and simply, to get an idea of what loneliness means, hence I have chosen to

11
Fay Alberti. “A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an Emotion”. (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2019): 35
12
Janet Batsleer and James Duggan. “Young and Lonely: Social Conditions of Loneliness”. (Policy Press, Bristol, 2021): 3
13
See for example Luzia Heu et. al.. “Loneliness across cultures with different levels of social embeddedness: A qualitative
study”. Personal Relationships. Vol. 28 No. 2, (2021): 21
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lay out a broader field of topics yet still to be precise as to what my research attempts to
achieve or what my own understanding of loneliness is. The approach I am using is to
work towards an understanding of loneliness, analogically to how I have gained an
understanding of loneliness during this thesis and thereby highlight the process.
A erwards, I will move towards the framework of my research context. In PART II; This
study: Loneliness in Italy (Milan) and United Kingdom (Manchester), I introduce the specific
geographical contexts I have focused on and how loneliness needs to be differently
conceptualised and worked on in each of them. Following this comes PART III:
Methodology & Methods, where I explain step by step how I have chosen my methodology
and methods. This part is essential, as my methodology also informs henceforth my way of
thinking about loneliness and the way I have treated and analysed the data. PART IV:
Towards a Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness includes my findings - from initial
comparisons of the definition towards the main parts in the chapters Towards a
Phenomenological Typology and Locating Loneliness in Milan and Manchester. Here I display
the main outcome of this research, namely the typology of coping behaviours people apply
when dealing with loneliness. I further explain how to read, understand and potentially
apply (in future research or in practice) the outcome of this thesis. Concluding this
dissertation, I will offer a brief summary in PART V and future perspectives on how to
research topics such as loneliness, that is highly complex and subjective.

The Origins of Loneliness and Loneliness Research: From an Individual Problem…

Loneliness, academically speaking, is a topic such as many others (for example

stress, social inequality or homelessness), that does not necessarily fit one academic field
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but spans across various fields. As with multidisciplinary topics, my first aim was to
investigate what academic fields are studying loneliness and in what way it is being
studied, in short: To unfold and filter the massive amount of research that had been done.
Having these different entry points and understandings of the phenomenon, my aim
became to develop a flexible, complex and transient understanding of loneliness, meaning
setting a framework that can constantly be readjusted, that allows to include topics
evolving along the process and that embraces its own complexity rather than rigidly
deciding for one approach and understanding early on in the research process. The step of
narrowing or bracketing out what may be irrelevant will therefore be a process rather than
a decision, following my interviews, the literature and the first findings.

14
For a quick overview of this multidisciplinarity see Olivia Sagan and Eric D. Miller. “Narratives of Loneliness:
Multidisciplinary Perspectives from the 21st Century”. (Abingdon, Routledge, 2018)
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A complete historical overview of the concept of loneliness would most likely be

exceeding even the scope of this dissertation (and would probably need to include Greek
and Roman culture), however even considering the last 400 years and the available
literature, the understanding of loneliness describes a fascinating trajectory. There are
already traces of loneliness in Robert Burton’s o en-quoted Anatomy of Melancholy from
the year 1621. Burton does not mention loneliness, but melancholy - nowadays clearly two
different phenomena but back then perhaps similar, as loneliness, as a word and concept,
15
had barely existed in the 17th century according to Alberti. Burton states: “Melancholy,
the subject of our present discourse, is either in disposition or habit. In disposition, is that
transitory [m]elancholy which goes and comes upon every small occasion of sorrow, need,
sickness, trouble, fear, grief, passion [...].” and thus melancholy may also result from
16
missing someone or feeling sad being alone. It could therefore be a proxy to social
isolation or loneliness (or a meta concept such as sadness). Burton describes melancholy as
a thoughtful and self-reflective condition when he states “[t]hat which others hear or read
of, I felt and practised myself; they get their knowledge by books, I mine by
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melancholizing.” Burton further describes melancholy as a loss or separation: “[...] a
worse plague cannot happen to a man, than to be so troubled in his mind, [...] a heavy
separation, to leave their goods, with so much labour got, pleasures of the world, which
they have so deliciously enjoyed, friends and companions whom they so dearly loved, all at
18
once.” There are other parts to believe that what Burton describes, may be similar to
loneliness. However, while scanning through Burton’s work for signs of loneliness is a
vague undertaking, Alberti offers more general clarity: “[i]n the sixteenth and seventeenth
centuries, loneliness did not have the ideological and psychological weight that it does
today. Loneliness meant simply ‘oneliness’, which was less a psychological or emotional
19
experience than a physical one.” In the book A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an
Emotion, Alberti explains that “[t]here was little mention of loneliness in published texts in
20
English prior to the end of the eighteenth century.” Thus, it can already be speculated,
the idea and term of loneliness came into existence when the industrial revolution started
around the end of the 18th and beginning of the 19th century, raising the hypothesis that
melancholy may have been an umbrella term for various, not sharply segregated emotional

15
Fay Alberti. “A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an Emotion”. (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2019): 18 ff.
16
Robert Burton. “The Anatomy of Melancholy”. ([no place], Ex-classics Project, 2009 [1621]): 127
17
Ibid: 36
18
Ibid: 300
19
Fay Alberti. “A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an Emotion”. (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2019): 18
20
Ibid.
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experiences, which are nowadays studied separately. It is understandable, that it may seem
confusing at first to realise that loneliness was either simply not used hundreds of years
ago or carried a different connotation. However, such semantic change of words and terms
invites to understand these words as reflections of society as a whole; and as such, the
history of the concept of loneliness is tightly knit to a broader social European history,
including industrial revolutions and technological enhancements.

Being connected to the industrial revolution, the emergence of the idea of loneliness is
connected to the changing mode of living of the time: People started to move to the city
(mainly men), thus separating their workplace from their homes in the hope of economic
success and started living increasingly solitary lives in terms of being apart from their
families: “Solo living was said to be dangerous for men because it made them selfish and
vulnerable to wanton impulses, and for women, because it made them lonely, hysterical,
21
and depressed.” This new mode of living brought new mental challenges alongside:
Being responsible for one’s own success and well-being, such societies quickly developed
22
what Durkheim called once “the cult of the individual.” However, on one hand, this
changing economic and social circumstance has paved the way towards how people (in the
so-called Western World) still live nowadays; on the other hand, living increasingly solitary
lives is a mode of living existing for a relatively short time in the broader scope of
humankind, as commonly, being social ensured survival and management of everyday tasks.
“[T]he cult of the individual spread gradually across the Western world during the
nineteenth and early twentieth centuries. But it made its deepest impressions on modern
societies in the West and beyond only in the second half of the twentieth century, when
four other sweeping social changes - the rising status of women, the communications
revolution, mass [urbanisation], and the longevity revolution - created conditions in which
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the individual could flourish.” It is safe to say that what started as a change in economic
modes of production - workers move to the city in the hope of financial stability - became
a social process with far-reaching cultural implications, as suggested by the terms cult of
the individual or individualism or even urbanisation. In other terms: One could not count
anymore on a sociality that would ensure one’s survival but had to become increasingly
self-sufficient.

21
Eric Klinenberg. “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone”. (New York, The Penguin
Press, 2012): 15 ff.
22
Émile Durkheim. “The Division of Labor in Society”. Translated by George Simpson. (New York: The Free Press, 1964)
cited in Charles Maerske. “Durkheim's ‘Cult of the Individual’ and the Moral Reconstitution of Society”. Sociological Theory,
Vol. 5, No. 1. (1987): 1 ff.
23
Eric Klinenberg. “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone”. (New York, The Penguin
Press, 2012): 22
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It could be speculated that over time, increasing the provision of infrastructures for
solitary lives led to more individual responsibilities but also more freedom, especially the
freedom to choose social networks and choose how to spend one’s leisure time. It must
have been somewhere in this process that loneliness changed its meaning from describing
one’s ‘oneliness’ (or aloneness) towards one’s dissatisfaction with one’s togetherness with
others. Research to date, for example, has demonstrated that 90% of children are already
24
able to differentiate both, to differentiate between being lonely and being alone. Thus,
the term loneliness allowed people to express a feeling that could not be put into more
precise words (and so melancholy was used) but probably experienced before. One can
imagine that singletons moving to the city in the hope of economic stability would have
found comfort in the similarity of their life paths and life experiences, but perhaps there
was neither time nor space (due to long working hours for example) to share that, leading
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to a sense of loneliness due to not being able to express one’s feelings to others. Only
when working and living conditions improved, the individual may have redirected the day
from ensuring one’s survival towards participating in the pleasures and freedom of urban
living. As leisure time became a major part of people’s lives (and its importance for general
well-being was understood), people were engaging in various forms of social interactions,
making them realise that having social interactions is not necessarily a buffer against
26
loneliness - one could feel dissatisfied with others as well.

Even a er the understanding of loneliness has changed and it became carved out as an
own individual/social phenomenon, it did not immediately start to be studied by
sociologists: Instead, for a prolonged period of the 20th century, it was studied by
psychologists, evoking the impression that loneliness may be some sort of a mental
malady. “Modern loneliness became, by the early twentieth century, a mental problem
27
linked to the operation of mind.” “Accounts of loneliness tend to focus on the mind -
whether in terms of mental health conservation and promotion, or through the
presumption that ‘mind’ must be [prioritised] over ‘matter’ to force oneself to undertake

24
Evangelia Galanaki. “Are children able to distinguish among the concepts of aloneness, loneliness, and solitude?”.
International Journal of Behavioural Development, Vol. 28. (2004): 435– 443
25
In that sense, the absence of the term loneliness creates a certain form of loneliness, by not being able to put one’s
emotions into words.
26
See for example the 1874 Factory Act in the United Kingdom, that limited the daily working hours to ten and minimum
working age to nine years: The Potteries. “Key dates in Working Conditions: Factory Acts, Great Britain 1300 - 1899”.
(accessed: 11.05.2022). http://www.thepotteries.org/dates/work.htm
27
Fay Alberti. “A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an Emotion”, (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2019): 35
 21

28
exercise [...].“ This mind-over-matter attitude did not allow to question the social or
cultural circumstances of loneliness and displayed it more as pathological or genetically
predisposed. Given that coupled with individualism (and the rise of capitalism), it may
have been assumed that loneliness can be treated and consequently cured: its treatments
may involve medicine and hospitals, rather than therapists, self-reflection or long walks.
“Philosophies of social alienation, which stressed low common values and a high degree of
isolation between individuals, reinforced the idea that loneliness was a dysfunctional and
negative part of the human psyche, caused by the onset of modernization and a profound
29
individual disconnect from others.” Being responsible mostly for oneself, the need for a
quick fix of loneliness is determined by the need for one’s own action to ensure one’s
survival. Additionally, loneliness could have been seen as a threat to the individual and
thus to its role in society - loneliness renders the individual in a less productive state of
labour. One has to keep in mind that for example having depression was commonly seen
as an inherited illness and people suffering from it were to be locked up. It was not earlier
than Freud for example, that such ‘illnesses’ were seen as results of life events and became
30
part of psychotherapeutic sessions. However, clear sources of the social perception of
loneliness in Europe 150 years ago are difficult to find.

Nowadays, it is well-stated by many researchers that loneliness can be linked to mental

health issues such as social anxiety and depression, but also that these mental health
31
issues can be a cause of loneliness. The relationship of loneliness and mental health, in
itself a complex one, is further complicated by social inequality, so for example influences
awareness and knowledge, determined further by access to healthcare and education, and
the experience of it. Alberti states: “These systemic forms of enforced loneliness are the
product of circumstance and ideology. Yes, wealthy people can be (and o en are) lonely
and isolated, money being no guarantee of ‘belonging’. But it’s a different kind of
loneliness to the social isolation imposed by poverty. Many of the divisions and
hierarchies that have developed since the eighteenth century - between self and world,
individual and community, public and private - have been [naturalised] through the
32
politics and philosophy of individualism.” If it can be assumed that loneliness is a result
of one’s own actions, character or knowledge, as these (amongst others) distinguish one

28
Ibid: 194
29
Ibid: 35
30
Nancy Schimelpfening. “The History of Depression: Accounts, Treatments, and Beliefs Through the Ages”. April 2022.
(accessed: 11.05.2022). https://www.verywellmind.com/who-discovered-depression-1066770
31
For example: Mind. “Loneliness: Is loneliness a mental health problem?”. July 2019. (accessed: 31.03.2022),
https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/loneliness/about-loneliness/
32
Fay Alberti. “A Biography of Loneliness: The History of an Emotion”. (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2019): x
 22

individual from another, then loneliness is a result of one’s lifestyle and thus an individual
problem - You are lonely, not me. However, to identify it, cope with it or receive treatment
(for example a therapist) an individual needs resources, frankly speaking, education, social
capital, time and money. It could therefore be to some degree possible to say that a healthy
experience of loneliness is a privileged experience. Depending on one’s positionality in
society, some people may encounter a period of loneliness with care, whilst others may
struggle to successfully cope with it (and perhaps cope in less healthy ways). These
structural problems around loneliness may manifest themselves over time, widening a
divide between those who can afford treatment and those who cannot (or those who cope
healthily and those who do not). In the worst-case scenario, bluntly speaking, those who
can afford treatment may end up learning more about themselves in the world whereas those
who cannot experience depression. I will not follow this thought any further but simply
want to add that the universality (meaning that everyone may encounter this feeling)
within the experience of loneliness may be precisely what could support a common
approach to loneliness, spanning across all parts of society. However, even acknowledging
an entanglement of oneself in society, meaning understanding oneself with a certain
positionality within a society, researchers concentrate on the lonely mind rather than
investigating the circumstances and experience. This may have supported the idea of a
quick need for a solution to almost everything directed at the individual, rather than to
question social structures or economic circumstances that caused the ‘pandemic of
33
loneliness’, as Jacob Sweet so poignantly stated in the Harvard Magazine. This quick-fix
approach can still be seen, and is partly dominant nowadays, by the way, social connection
is o en presented as the antidote to loneliness. “We are so committed to the ideal of
sociability as a model for mental health that we do not always tend to the positive aspects
34
of being alone”

The belief that social interaction can be a treatment of loneliness changed when it was
understood that the type of social interaction (and not only not the number of social
interactions) can be the cause of loneliness. Harry Sullivan, a psychologist from the United
States, offered (around 1940) for example the following take on loneliness: “For Sullivan,
human beings were studied relationally, not individually, and always in reference to
universal human norms and patterns of life. These norms regulated and constrained
human beings through the social process of interpersonal relations. The psychiatric

33
Jacob Sweet. Harvard Magazine. “The Loneliness Pandemic.”( January-February 2021). (accessed: 09.05.2022).
https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2021/01/feature-the-loneliness-pandemic
34
Ibid: 28-29
 23

hospital was not an institution designed to discipline and punish individuals, but an
institution and store of knowledge designed to reorient individuals to a set of mainstream
human norms that regulated human society. Sullivan created an inclusive community in
the hospital that provided a third space for patients, acknowledging the validity of their
non-normative social position and supporting their transition back to a biopolitical,
35
[regularising] society.” Here, the individual is already treated as a member of society,
whose loneliness endangers one’s position within that society but who may have a general
desire to partake in social interactions. More broadly speaking, it is difficult to understand
through which ideas (or enlightenments) about loneliness mostly disappeared from mental
health discussions whereas depression, for example, remained mainly part of such
debates. However, common sense nowadays (so my personal perception) would allow
friends of a lonely person to help but give the feeling that if this friend talks about
depression, a therapist may be a better address. Nevertheless, the history of loneliness that
will continue in the following part of the chapter displays many of the difficulties attached
to the identification of mental phenomena that are actually caused and rooted in the social
outside world. Academia has not achieved full clarity or rigidity on the matter of
loneliness, so I hope that I can participate in this process and offer an even more rich and
more detailed understanding of loneliness. The reader may have already noticed that there
are many other thoughts and branches to follow, but I will concentrate mainly on the
semantic change around the concept of loneliness.

The Origins of Loneliness and Loneliness Research: Towards a Social Phenomenon…

Looking at loneliness research today, there are three works from the 20th century
that, in my understanding, influenced the direction of that research: The first one is Origin
of Totalitarianism by Hannah Arendt written in 1955. In an attempt to explain political
totalitarianism (so for example dictatorship), Arendt states that loneliness could be a
36
reason to be susceptible to such political dogmas. But apart from the political direction
of the book, it contains poignant descriptions of how loneliness can be distinguished from
(social) isolation, aloneness and solitude (See next part of this chapter). Following this, in
the 1970s and 1980s, the interest in defining, explaining and researching loneliness
increased. This may have to do with something that could be called an emotional turn in
37
sociology, perhaps caused by an understanding of emotions as socially caused.

35
Taylor S. Stephens. “The Lonely Ones: Sel ood and Society in Harry Stack Sullivan's Psychiatric Thought".
Dissertations, Theses, and Masters Projects. (2018): 13. http://dx.doi.org/10.21220/s2-wpg1-ba68
36
Hannah Arendt. “The Origins of Totalitarianism”. (Cleveland, The World Publishing Company, 1951)
37
See for example https://ecampusontario.pressbooks.pub/showingtheory/chapter/emotional-turn/
 24

Sociologist Eduardo Bericat states: “On the one hand, the sociological study of emotions
is grounded in the fact, indicated by Kemper (1978, 1987, 2011), that the majority of our
emotions emerge, are experienced and have meaning in the context of our social relations.
Loneliness, envy, hate, fear, shame, pride, horror, resentment, grief, nostalgia, trust,
sadness, satisfaction, joy, anger, happiness, frustration and a myriad of other feelings
emerge in specific social situations, expressed in the individual’s bodily consciousness the
38
rich spectrum of forms of human social interaction and relationships.” This emotional
turn may have been facilitated by an interest of sociologists to study individuals (such as
Simmel or Benjamin) and a recognition that through studying (the emotions and feelings
of) individuals, an understanding of society itself can be derived.

Two other works are worth mentioning: Loneliness: The experience of emotional and social
isolation by Robert Weiss, written in 1973 as well as Prototype of a lonely person by Leonard
Horowitz and Craig Anderson, written in 1982. Being studied mainly by psychologists,
loneliness was typologised and classified into social and emotional loneliness - social
39
being missing or lacking friends, emotional being a break-up from a partner for example.
In other works, for example Toward a Social Psychology of Loneliness by psychologists Anne
Peplau and Daniel Perlman from 1982, loneliness was seen more in the context of social
relationships within the field of social psychology. Both authors, having written
extensively and influentially about loneliness, focus on the social dimension of it, stating
“[...] that objective indices of frequency of interaction are less appropriate predictors of
40
loneliness than subjective measures of satisfaction with social relationships.” Here it is
worth comparing two statements from these works about loneliness: in Prototype of a
lonely person Horowitz and Anderson state: “First, we propose that a lonely person should
not be [conceptualised] in terms of a traditional trait nor type, but rather in terms of the
more contemporary concept of a ‘fuzzy set’. This more modern conception can be used to
describe a theoretically ideal ‘lonely person’, or prototype, a standard against which real
41
people can be evaluated.” In Toward a Social Psychology of Loneliness Perlman and Peplau
state: “Finally, efforts to reduce loneliness must go beyond the individual to consider
social and cultural factors that foster loneliness. As Gordon (1976, p. 21) noted, ‘Mass

38
Theodor Kemper. “A Social Interactional Theory of Emotions”. (New York, Wiley. 1978) cited in Eduardo Bericat. “The
sociology of emotions: Four decades of progress”. Current Sociology, Vol. 64 No. 3. (2015): 495
39
See for example Robert Weiss. “Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation”. (Cambridge, MIT Press,
1975)
40
Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman.” Blueprint for a Social Psychology Theory of Loneliness” Chapter [n. n.] in Mark
Cook and Glenn Wilson. Love and Attraction, (Oxford, Pergamon, 1979): 104
41
Leonard M. Horowitz, Rita S. French, and Craig A. Anderson. “The Prototype of a Lonely Person” in Letitia Anne Peplau and
Daniel Perlman. “Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research, and therapy”. (New York, Wiley, 1982): 184
 25

loneliness is not just a problem that can be coped with by the particular individuals
4243
involved; it is an indication that things are dramatically amiss on a societal level’.”
These papers have been written in the same year, yet the understanding of loneliness they
exhibit is vastly different: Horowitz and Anderson try to classify it individually, Perlman
and Peplau attempt to conceptualise loneliness through social and cultural domains. Both
approaches, however, paved the way to study loneliness in the field of sociology and
generally in the following years, as it started to be seen as an experience that is universal,
something not necessarily connected to depression or mental health generally, short: The
origins of loneliness were seen connected to life circumstances, rooted in culture and
social relationships, yet individual factors and personal characteristics remain relevant,
making loneliness a unique topic in itself, within that an individual represents and
44
exhibits social, cultural and spatial factors through an emotion.

In the following, I will show many of the topics and aspects stated so far, reflected in the
titles of academic works throughout the 20th and 21st centuries: from loneliness as an
individual problem to social problem to a pleasant state of aloneness, to a ‘pandemic’, to a
universal and partly biological mechanism. Notice also, how works like The Lonely Crowd
by sociologist Riesman, written already in 1950, could have sparked a different type of
loneliness research much earlier, however as Wilfred McClay writes in his review: “[T]he
meaning of this modern classic was largely misunderstood during the decade of its
greatest popularity, and its analysis of American society may be more relevant to our time
than it was to the 1950s. [...] The Lonely Crowd was not only an examination of the changing
structures and folkways of American society at midcentury but also an exploration of the
changes taking place within the souls of individual Americans. [...] Hence the paradox
captured so compellingly in the title: a teeming throng whose individual members
nevertheless feel themselves to be achingly alone, empty, devoid of purpose or
45
independent meaning.” Only in the year 2000, when Robert Putnam published Bowling
Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, the loneliness, decay and change of

42
Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness” Chapter 2 in Steve Duck and
Robin Gilmour. “Personal Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981): 55
43
Suzanne Gordon. “Lonely in America”. (Simon & Schuster, New York, 1976) cited inLetitia Anne Peplau and Daniel
Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness.” Chapter 2 in Steve Duck and Robin Gilmour. “Personal
Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981): 55
44
One further consideration is relevant to mention: Whilst loneliness is o en researched by considering an individual’s
(perceived) social reality, it does not mean that it is not believed that loneliness is not only a social skills deficit of the
individual to interact with others: Rather than asking why this individual is not able to be part of a social group or
dissatisfied with it, researchers may ask what are the social mechanisms that cause loneliness, thus including the social
network from the start of the process.
45
Wilfried McClay. “Fi y Years of The Lonely Crowd”. The Wilson Quarterly (1976-). Vol. 22, No. 3. (1998): 34-35
 26

American society became the subject matter again of a broader academic debate.
Horowitz, not the previously mentioned psychologist, states: “The Lonely Crowd was part
and parcel of this sense of principle. Riesman was not so much interested in making
critical judgments, as, say, Mills did in White Collar, as in examining the social psychology
of post-war America as a whole. Just how difficult and complex an undertaking this was
can best be appreciated by the fact that we have waited another half century for a similar
effort, entitled Bowling Alone, by Robert Putnam, a political scientist also ensconced at the
great Harvard University. [...] Underneath the pursuit of happiness, each of these works
sees the costs of that pursuit as estrangement from larger social moorings and alienation
46
from private sentiments.” Here now a list of academic works to display the explained
changed conceptualisation of loneliness over time:

The Lonely Crowd

- David Riesman, Nathan Glazer, and Reuel Denney, 1950

Loneliness: The experience of social and emotional isolation

- Robert Weiss, 1973

The Prototype of a lonely person

- Leonard Horowitz, Craig Anderson, 1982

Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community

- Robert Putnam, 2000

The Right to Be Lonely

- Denise Riley, 2002

Together Alone: Personal Relationships in Public Places

- Calvin Morrill, David A. Snow and Cindy H.White, 2005

Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection

- John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick, 2008

The Lonely City Adventures in the Art of Being Alone

- Olivia Laing, 2016

46
Irving Horowitz. “Reflections on Riesman”. The American Sociologist, Vol. 33, No. 2 (2002): 121
 27

Young and Lonely: The Social Conditions of Loneliness

- Janet Batsleer and James Duggan, 2020

Predicting Loneliness from Where and What People Do

- Kristi J. MacDonald et. al., 2020

Displaying academic works illustrates the emergence of loneliness - as a feeling, as an

idea, as a concept - but it is only half of the story. Loneliness in particular, but many topics
in general that are of increasing relevance due to prevalence and awareness (such as
climate change), invite the general public to express an opinion on it. To my
understanding, that is because it is easy to imagine what loneliness is, or can be, based on
many people have felt it. However, for loneliness, this means high coverage by magazines
and media outlets. This creates the impression of a quick fix through social interaction,
o en presented as the panacea to any feeling of loneliness and further stigmatises cities,
social media or individualism as the sole cause for it. It is not necessarily that some of
these articles would not rely on research, but many choose to portray loneliness as a
straightforward emotional experience that can be easily cured - so for example by reading
an article with suggestions (or solutions) about it. Many of these articles are also
connected to technology, the internet or social media, but themes such as cities,
neoliberalism, individualism, urban design and the pandemic are recurrent. Consequently,
the question of whether loneliness is the disease of the city and its inhabitants or whether
perhaps too simplistic and obvious connections are being made is raised. It is noteworthy
that social media and/or the pandemic have been quickly connected to loneliness as both
concerns the quality and quantity of our social interactions; and in that sense, at least,
popular media has managed to portray a more social understanding of loneliness as
articles displaying it solely as a mental illness in itself are hard to be found. These are
mostly general (and partly stereotypical) macro-perspectives. Micro-perspectives that
concern and look into smaller social groups or geographical areas - such as a redesign of a
beloved neighbourhood square or individual choices such as moving to a new city to start
a new job - are o en overseen, even though they similarly exhibit traces of loneliness
many people experience. For now, I want to provide an overview of the diversity of topics
around loneliness and its understanding in popular media by providing examples from
headlines over the last 22 years. Note the diversity of topics as opposed to the scientific
titles, who mainly concentrated on the individual and social. Such display of titles is
relevant for this research, for example for the reason that many of my respondents will
 28

have come across them when researching loneliness themselves, so to gain an overview is
47
essential to make sense of their coping behaviour later.

Defining Loneliness

Robert Weiss, in his o en quoted book Loneliness: The experience of social and
emotional isolation from 1973 was amongst the first who attempted to categorise and
classify loneliness, namely into social and emotional loneliness. A definition that up to
today, many publications on loneliness rely on. However, in a review two years later,
William Sadler (to whom I will come back in the methodological part) states that “[t]he
definitional weakness shows up again in the first section containing material from other
contributors. Entitled ‘The Nature of Loneliness,’ this section really does not produce
what it pretends to. We learn little about loneliness. [...] Furthermore we need more acute
insight into the dynamics of loneliness, if we are ever to demonstrate how loneliness can
48
become a malignant force in the development of personality and community.” The
question of this chapter becomes, to what extent has research and the understanding of
loneliness moved on from there?

“Broadly speaking, loneliness can be described as the unpleasant feeling that results from
49
perceiving a deficient relation between the self and the outside world.” Earlier, loneliness
has been described as existing “[...] to the extent that a person's network of social
50
relationships is smaller or less satisfying than the person desires.” Cacioppo and Patrick
poignantly called loneliness a social pain and Klinenberg mentioned “[...] that it’s the
quality, not the quantity of social interactions, that best predicts loneliness. What matters

47
“The Call of Solitude: How spending time alone can enhance intimacy”. Being alone can fuel life. Psychology Today.
(1999); “Lonely heart scammer jailed.” The Sydney Morning Herald. (2005); “Is Bad Urban Design Making us Lonely?”
City Lab. (2012); “Neoliberalism is creating loneliness. That’s what’s wrenching society apart.” The Guardian. (2016); “Bad
Dog robot is shocking China’s youth out of their loneliness.” Technode. (2018); “Many people feel lonely in the city but
perhaps ‘third-places’ can help with that.” The Conversation. (2018); “Our Cities are designed for loneliness.” Vice. (2018);
“The stunning loneliness of megacities at night.” Wired. (2019) “Scientists are working on a pill for loneliness.” The
Guardian. (2019); “Are people more likely to be lonely in so-called ‘individualistic’ societies?” Our World in Data. (2019);
“Young People more likely to feel lonely than older generations, study finds.” Independent. (2019); “Loneliness is on the
rise and younger workers and social media users feel it most, Cigna survey finds.” CNBC. (2020); “Loneliness of young
people is ‘silent pandemic’.” Nottingham Post. (2021); “Omicron has heightened the urgency of tackling loneliness.” The
Times. (2021); “Contact with nature in cities reduces loneliness, study shows.” The Guardian. (2021)
48
William Sadler. “Review”. Contemporary Sociology Vol. 4, No. 2. (1975): 172
49
Luzia Heu, et. al. “Loneliness across cultures with different levels of social embeddedness: A qualitative study”. Personal
Relationships, Vol, 28 No. 2, (2021): 37
50
Peplau, Letitia Anne and Perlman, Daniel.” Blueprint for a Social Psychology Theory of Loneliness” Chapter in Mark
Cook and Glenn Wilson. Love and Attraction. (Oxford, Pergamon, 1979): 101
 29

5152
is not whether we live alone, but whether we feel alone.” Loneliness may also be called
perceived social isolation and in statistics, surrogates such as having no one to ask for
help or to discuss personal matters are found to estimate the prevalence of loneliness in a
5354
certain geographical area. The difficulty around defining loneliness however remains:
most likely it comes into existence through the internal perception of the individual -
thus, different from other topics such as social isolation where someone objectively may
have little to no social contacts. However, other more objective approaches to define it
o en fail against the subjective experience of it: One can choose to spend all time alone,
such as Thoreau when writing his famous Walden or Zahahustra in Nietzsche’s work and
55
arrive at a state of solitude, self-understanding and pleasure.

Loneliness comes into existence through perception and interpretation and is as such
different from just being alone. “For loneliness as a negative emotion to arise, it requires
both the objective existence of social relations and the subjective interpretations and
56
evaluations.” Whether someone is physically alone or not does predict loneliness
insufficiently but how one evaluates one’s friends, family, partner, and neighbourhood
community does. It, therefore, seems that when one feels lonely, it will always also but not
solely be painful as one realises a mismatch between oneself and one’s friends for example.
A positive evaluation of one’s life might be called solitude. Nevertheless, having gone
through a period of loneliness may also spark a positive self-reflective process, but rarely
without pain. Loneliness is therefore a qualitative statement (sometimes additionally to
being a quantitative statement of perceived social isolation) and as such I have developed
my understanding, research framework and methodology, to be explained later.

It may be simple to understand that one can be alone and not feel lonely and not be alone
and feel lonely. However, there are two other emotional experiences that need to be
segregated from loneliness for the purpose of arriving at a conclusive definition. Whereas
I will later invite the reader to understand these terms as transient states, rather than

51
John Cacioppo and William Patrick. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York, Norton
Paperback, 2009): 7
52
Eric Klinenberg. “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone”. (New York, The Penguin
Press, 2012): 21
53
Daniel Campagne. “Stress and perceived social isolation (loneliness)”. Archives of Gerontology and Geriatrics, Vol. 82. (2019):
192
54
Eurostat. European Union. “Do Europeans feel lonely?”. June 2017. (accessed: 12.05.2022).
https://ec.europa.eu/jrc/en/news/how-lonely-are-europeans
55
Roelof Hortulanus, Anja Machielse and Ludwien Meeuswesen. “Social Isolation in Modern Society”. (Abingdon,
Routledge, 2006)
56
Keming Yang. “Loneliness - A Social Problem”. (Abingdon, Routledge, 2019): 3
 30

isolated paradigms from one another, understanding the essence of these different
experiences helps to understand loneliness. The first of the experiences is the previously
mentioned social isolation. Of all definitions, Hannah Arendt most poignantly says
“Isolation and loneliness are not the same. I can be isolated - that is in a situation in
57
which I cannot act, because there is nobody who will act with me.” Social isolation is the
closest experience to loneliness, which I will illustrate later through my interviews as well.
Similarly, Hortulanus and Machielse, in their book Social Isolation in Modern Society pose
the question of “[...] whether we should see social isolation as a private matter or a societal
58
problem.” Social isolation is therefore being unhappy alone without any presence or
chance of seeing others. The next term is solitude, defined by the Oxford Dictionary as
59
“the state of being alone, especially when you find this pleasant.” Whereas solitude
shares a phonetic root with solitary, which is o en taken as an equivalent of being alone,
solitude is connoted as the positive experience of being alone - being happy with one’s
own. It is remarkable how the above-mentioned terms are being used in academic
literature whereas profound definitions are hard to find, especially from a sociological
perspective. Hence, most researchers are put in the position of having to lay out their
understanding of loneliness at the beginning of every study. The etymological roots of the
terms do not help further, considering that for example, solitude in French and German is
rather synonymous with loneliness - coming from alone, from all and one. Isolation on the
other hand has the touch of segregation considering a German synonym Absonderung,
which might also be done by the one who segregates and not, as sociologist David
60
Dakiema proposes, always other-imposed: I had for example one respondent that chose
to live isolated (being alone but unhappy without others) for his own health. Again, a
definition by Hannah Arendt is interesting to take into account: “In solitude, in other
words, I am ‘by myself,’ together with my self, and therefore two-in-one, whereas in
loneliness I am actually one, deserted by all others. [...] Solitude can become loneliness;
61
this happens when all by myself I am deserted by my own self.” In short: In solitude, I am
by myself with my self, in loneliness, I may be by myself without my self and in social
isolation, I am by myself without my self and without others.

57
Hannah Arendt. “The Origins of Totalitarianism”. (Cleveland, The World Publishing Company, 1951): 474
58
Roelof Hortulanus, Anja Machielse and Ludwien Meeuswesen. “Social Isolation in Modern Society”. (Abingdon,
Routledge, 2006): 6
59
Oxford Learner’s Dictionaries. “Solitude”. (Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2022)
60
David A. Diekema. “Aloneness and Social Form”. Symbolic Interaction Vol. 15, No. 4. (1992): 481
61
Hannah Arendt. “The Origins of Totalitarianism”. (Cleveland, The World Publishing Company, 1951): 476
 31

Part of the experience of loneliness may be a temporary feeling of being completely

socially isolated, as well as certain activities may lead to a sense of solitude - Generally, I
feel very lonely but walking there in the evening makes me feel happy. Most likely, the fact that
different terms exist invites to think that these terms describe different conditions, which
may however also describe the same condition in different times - what was called
loneliness in 1800 may nowadays be called social isolation. Thus, all definitions are to be
understood in their respective time and social and individual contexts. In the words of
American-German philosopher Paul Tillich, taken from his 1963 book The Eternal Now:
“Language . . . has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it
62
has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.” Even one could say that
having at least three meaningful ways of describing one’s aloneness in emotional terms is
in itself an indicator of an increasingly individualised world. This aloneness itself, here
taken as a neutral term for describing simply one’s physical aloneness, may be the
precondition for any of the other states to arise. It can become loneliness, it can become
solitude. Nevertheless, it is important to have a general understanding of these terms, as
in many interviews I conducted and or in many books that have informed this research,
they o en appear side-by-side in one way or another. In fact, taking all terms into
consideration I invite the reader to understand loneliness as a dynamic process that has
certain durations, can change during the day, month or year, can reappear, can transform
into a positive outcome, can also become a depression or the new positive narrative of
one’s everyday life. Aiming to apply a sharp rigidity to these terms does not reflect on the
social reality, as someone who may be academically defined as socially isolated may feel
lonely and someone who could be academically defined as lonely may actually feel socially
isolated.

Additionally, a er having done this research, I would like to add that for most people it
takes time to identify loneliness, as it may show itself as dissatisfaction, sadness, anger or
frustration first. Only by repeatedly experiencing loneliness, one is sufficiently able to
identify the core of this deficiency, making it essentially more difficult to successfully
work on through that from the beginning. One risk remains, namely that I choose to
research only loneliness and not the other terms, whereas, if the definitions vary from
person to person, I may have also studied cases of social isolation. Again here, I tried to
integrate this complexity into the methodology that is interested in the subjective
experiences of the respondents. Hence why, I introduce these terms here thoroughly, so
that a general understanding is achieved that will later help to analyse the data. However,

62
Paul Tillich. “The Eternal Now”. (New York, Scribner, 1963): 17–18
 32

whereas sometimes loneliness and social isolation may be the same for different people,
the pandemic has quite interestingly illustrated how loneliness and social isolation differ:
Social isolation being used in the context of a quarantine - people have to self-isolate o en
completely on their own - and loneliness may be something they additionally experience
during the pandemic, so for example by not being able to properly connect to friends or
family or perhaps struggling to a different intensity with the consequences of the
lockdown compared to one’s friends. It would be confusing to say that one has to
‘self-lonelinize’ and thus may experience a sense of social isolation. I am therefore
interested in the subjective evaluation of one’s position in society and hope to unravel that
interest within the research of loneliness rather than the research of social isolation, but
of course, traces of both experiences can be found in many of the interviews. Additionally,
I will provide as many quotes of respondents in the following chapters as I can, to
illustrate the difficulty of the matter at hand. These examples serve further to display my
own process with engaging with the topic, so is for example the realisation that loneliness
is difficult to define and highly subjective, something that became clear over time, rather
than being clear from the beginning of the research.

Is there an ‘Urban Loneliness’?

In the most recent years, loneliness has become the ghost of the city. Popular media
connects the terms urban and loneliness frequently, as the examples above show. Part of
this connection may have to do with an overload of weak ties in the absence of strong ties
- loose informal acquaintances that seem o en so more prevalent in the city than in the
country, as Jennifer Senior from the New York Magazine postulates in an article called Is
63
urban loneliness a myth? “We are drowning in a sea of them, they’ll say - networking with
colleagues rather than socialising with friends, corresponding online with lots of people
we know only moderately well rather than catching up with our nearest and dearest on the
64
phone.” But this article is about New York, one of the first major metropolis and o en
proclaimed as a particularly lonely place, perhaps less because it makes lonely but more if
someone is lonely, it can be felt more amongst millions of others than by oneself, or, in the
words of Mark Twain: “[A] splendid desert - a domed and steepled solitude, where the
65
stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.” Indeed, it may not be difficult to

63
Jennifer Senior. New York Magazine. “Alone Together - Is Urban Loneliness a Myth?”. (November 2008). (accessed:
04.04.2022). https://nymag.com/news/features/52450/
64
Ibid.
65
Mark Twain. “[Untitled]”. (Alta California, August 1867, New York) cited in Jennifer Senior. New York Magazine. “Alone
Together - Is Urban Loneliness a Myth?”. (November 2008). (accessed: 04.04.2022). https://nymag.com/news/features/52450/
 33

imagine the conditions that could produce loneliness for urban dwellers, but one may
similarly say that urban spaces are spaces of possibilities, of access to different
perspectives, of encounter, experiences and socialising with many others - a condition,
66
Granovetter may have described as the strength of weak ties. However, whether or not
urban living causes or amplifies loneliness remains vague speculation, similar to whether
or not all cities of similar sizes have the same risks and possibilities for loneliness.

I should be clear that my aim is not to work out what specifically distinguishes loneliness
in the city from loneliness is the countryside; rather, the city is the social and spatial realm
I engaged with and my results may entail some specificity for urban spaces that could not
be the same in rural or suburban areas (although such divisions may remain questionable
in the first place). It is therefore important to engage with the general idea of urban in the
context of loneliness before I later move on to the specifics of my case studies. I have
found one definition of urban loneliness, that, despite not being based on research, reflects
on the impression of many people I talked to, so I want to share this definition from the
Urban Dictionary here: “A common side effect of big city life. The limitless amounts of
social opportunities available create a feeling of isolation when you for some reason don't
exploit them. The depression is further increased by constantly witnessing other people
67
seemingly overcoming these challenges better than you.” As it can be seen, terms such as
depression and isolation are used to explain loneliness, an approach I would generally
disagree with but that illustrates their connectedness (at least in popular media). However,
the city is displayed as the site of endless social opportunities, perhaps social expectations
and constraints alike. The amount of social capital available may be so overwhelming, that
one, instead of going out, is staying in, leading to jealousy of others who are seeming to
have more access to social resources. This may lead to a feeling of loneliness and perhaps
social isolation as one may have contacts, but neither the right ones nor enough nor does
one know where and how to find different ones. Contacts may also be always zweckdienlich
(serving a function or purpose), created due to potential work opportunities or for example
based on a mutual feeling of loneliness and the need to share. It could therefore be that
the one who experiences loneliness is faced with unlimited potentials and possibilities
resulting from the socio-spatial arena of the city and the necessarily (as it is too much for
one person alone) mundane outcome of that potential being le unfilled.

66
See Mark Granovetter. “The Strength of Weak Ties”. American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 78, No. 6. (1973)
67
Citydreams. Urban Dictionary. “Urban Loneliness”. (February 2014). (accessed: 04.04.2022).
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=urban%20loneliness
 34

Here, it is also worth looking at the idea of hypervigilance: “The effects of loneliness on
the motivation to connect and on implicit hypervigilance for social threats serve to
increase the salience of social cues, produce a confirmatory bias toward seeing social
68
dangers, and create negative memory biases for social information.” Hypervigilance may
be more present in a lonely person’s narrative in urban spaces in two ways: First, one may
be more aware of potential social threats (such as an ex-partner who caused one’s
loneliness) but secondly, in order to make use of the pool of social resources available in
the city, one has to keep on engaging with others. Whereas urban spaces can feel
smothering to a sensitive individual, giving in and retreating may lead to social isolation
in the future. But as with loneliness itself, one can easily imagine that a form of
hyper-vigilance serves to protect the sensitive and lonely self, which is why it may be risky
to be lonely over a prolonged period of time, as the awareness of social threats may in
times hamper a better social connection.

To get a better understanding of the term urban loneliness, it is worth looking at the
following architectural competition: Chris Millar is a British Architect and in 2019, Millar
was one of the main organisers of an architectural idea competition called Eliminate
Loneliness Through Design. The platform Bubble organising this competition was set up by
him and two university friends, who, despite finding university content interesting,
wanted to gather some real-world implications and experience. Unlike in many other
69
competitions of that type, there was no age or professional restriction. The aim of this
competition was “[...] to collect design ideas geared towards tackling loneliness. Whether
this be on the individual or collective, micro or macro, digital or tangible, product or
space, is entirely up to the participants. The results of the competition, and research
behind it, was collated [into] an open-source ebook titled Iso:lation, which has been
70
distributed to dozens of mental health charities across the UK and USA.” My takeaway
from looking at the ten winning entries, as rated by the jury, is the following: To
counteract loneliness spatially is to find new ways of connecting people with one another
by combining urban space with digital technology, to make people experience, share,
create and play together, give people the possibility to help one another, make space for
individuals to observe others, experience solitude and to offer people more control over
the space they inhabit in terms of how this space is shaped and designed based on their

68
John Cacioppo, Stephanie Cacioppo and Dorret Boomsma. “Evolutionary Mechanisms for Loneliness.” Cognitive
Emototion Vol. 28 No. 1. 2004: 6
69
Future Spaces Foundation. Make Architects. “Kinship in the City: Urban Loneliness and the Built Environment”.
(London, Future Spaces Foundation, 2019): 7
70
Bubble Futures. “Eliminate Loneliness Through Design”. (2019). https://bubblefutures.com/eliminate-loneliness/
 35

own needs, short: Diversify urban spaces socially and spatially by taking emotional
experiences - in this case, the different facets of loneliness - into account. But many of the
project’s aims were not to combat loneliness by providing the infrastructure for more
social connection, but different phases of the experience, whether lonely or in solitude,
were considered necessary or even helpful. In other words: The approaches to counteract
loneliness were highly diverse, going far beyond the conventional being alone versus being
social duality. People are finding new joy and self-reflection in supporting environments.
These environments created in this competition are always symbolic of something,
whether it is connection or solitude or self-reflection. This may be in line with what Kalevi
Korpela, a Finnish psychologist who has written extensively about emotional
self-regulation in different environments, means when he states that “[t]he concept of
environmental self-regulation holds that self-involvement in a physical environment is
possible and that the physical environment itself can be used as a strategy for regulating
71
emotions and maintaining one's self.” It may be assumed that not only is the physical
environment of the city able to help, support, evoke and perhaps cancel certain emotional
experiences, but is, perhaps in the experience of loneliness, actively used by people to do
so: People choose to go to a certain somewhere and understand the city as a platform for
emotional self-regulation or are, so to speak, constantly negotiating and aligning their
inner life with the external (physical) environment. “The feelings most frequently
associated with [favourite] places would contribute to emotional well-being - relaxation,
calmness, and comfortableness in the first place, with happiness, enjoyment, and
excitement as the next most frequently mentioned. Forgetting worries and reflecting on
personal matters suggest that hypothetically deeper levels of restorative experience (i.e.,
thought to follow from clearing the head and recovery of directed attention capacity)
emerge in [favourite] places. Solitude was mentioned at a noticeable frequency in
72
[favourite] places. [...].”

Within one city, large urban centres - such as Manhattan - are o en displayed as the
73
loneliest part of a city. “Moreover, where urban areas are fast changing, neighbourhoods
74
are dispersed and the sense of community is being lost.“ Also, Batsleer and Duggan point

71
Kalevi Korpela. “Place-identity as a product of environmental self-regulation”. Journal of Environmental Psychology, Vol. 9. (1989)
cited in Kalevi Korpela. “Adolescents' favourite places and environmental self-regulation”. Journal of Environmental Psychology,
Vol. 12. (1992): 249
72
Kalevi Korpela. “Restorative Experience and Self-Regulation in Favourite Places”. Environment and Behaviour Vol. 33 No. 4.
(2001): 585-586
73
Eddy Adams. Urbact. “Sometimes the Heart of the City is the Loneliest Place”. (July 2015). (accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://urbact.eu/sometimes-heart-city-loneliest-place-0
74
Ibid.
 36

75
out that “[l]arge urban centres are o en seen as ‘the lonely city’.” And on the contrary,
“[...] smaller places are o en characterised, both positively and negatively, as having a
strong sense of community and belonging, but young people growing up in such places
explored how these too can be lonely. It was the experience of being ‘different’ from the
norms of a particular place and subject to the formal and informal policing of those norms
that threatened to leave young people with the feeling of being ‘outsiders’, of not
76
belonging, and experiencing loneliness in consequence.” So how come, one may wonder,
that loneliness is attached to the city, although statistically there is little support for that,
as, for example, a study found of the American context, studying neighbourhood
77
connectedness and social relationships have shown. A study by the European
78
Commission across all European countries found the same results. Thus, when urban
spaces are portrayed as lonely spaces, it may be due to a certain fascination with
criticising the way people live in cities and the way cities are developing. But rather than
being a harsh critique, it may be the desire for more social support and longing for more
taking care of one another: Here, loneliness can be seen as a stop sign in an ever-socially
accelerating urban way of life. But whether that is true and urban spaces seem particularly
attractive to be blamed for one’s own unwell-being (in the case of loneliness not generally)
is difficult to answer. It seems clear that every place can be lonely for anyone when
individual needs are not met. The frustration that comes with realising one’s lonely
condition could find quick relief in a critique of our lifestyle or technological
enhancement - Years ago, it was easier - Nowadays, everyone is just staring at their phones. The
realisation that someone experiences loneliness may eventually manifest itself in an
adjustment of one’s life: moving, changing jobs, eating differently, new habits or hobbies
or simply a different way of thinking about the self and the world. Hereby, living in a city
is different from the countryside as everything (potential social interactions for example)
exists seemingly limitless. But having the freedom to choose may equally become a pain if
not all options are equally accessible. Additionally, if one may not have enough social or
financial resources or the necessary social skills, a feeling of social exclusion may take
place. It should be understood, that the possibilities to feel lonely are similarly endless.
The The Roots of Loneliness project for example mentions over 100 different types of

75
Janet Batsleer and James Duggan. “Young and Lonely: Social Conditions of Loneliness”. (Policy Press, Bristol, 2021): 5
76
Ibid.
77
Nikhil Sonnad. Quartz. “Americans living in cities are not any more lonely and depressed than everyone else”. (May 2018).
(accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://qz.com/1286591/urban-and-rural-america-people-living-in-cities-are-not-any-more-lonely-and-depressed-than-everyone-else/
78
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça, Joint Research
Centre, The European’s commission science and knowledge service. “Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in
Europe”. (European Union, European Union, 2018): 4
 37

loneliness, from Co-Dependency-Loneliness to Living-Away-from-Family-Loneliness to

79
Technology-Loneliness to Pregnancy-Loneliness. However, rather than there being 100 types
of loneliness different from one another, these types may share that they are about the
individual within the social context. This portrays loneliness as being always directed at
others and oneself alike - to oneself as thoughts and pain for example, to others as desires
and needs for example. So could Technology-Loneliness be for example deconstructed into
not wanting to connect (only) via social media to friends and a consequent feeling of being
le out. Loneliness may also show itself stronger in the city as there are simply more
others, so more chances to not feel part of something. The city, as a social, spatial,
economical and political realm may highlight problems and solutions alike so that the
possibility to feel lonely is already conditioned by the possibility to receive help and cope
with it in many ways. It is important to understand the city as a sum of endless and
multiple moments of such “[...] throwntogetherness [-] the moment where the fluid
trajectories of individuals in movement come together. It describes a form of coalescence
of people and things in a particular place for a particular moment, which passes and is
8081
never repeated.” Hence, when referring to the city, I understand the city as consisting of
different parts that together create atmospheres: “It is hard to deny the atmospheric
82
charge attributed to the city as an almost sacred landscape.”

Lastly, I would like to pose an essential question that I will answer later on: Does an
individual (living or arriving in the city) need social contacts to gain access to the city? The
underlying hypothesis is that if one lacks friendships or does not desire to pursue them,
the individual is bound to their own walls and private space to the degree that a social
stigma may prevent the person from doing activities alone. Objectively, it seems like an
illogical premise to state, but in the subjective realities of the people I have talked to,
staying home means o en staying alone and going out means being social. In the course
of loneliness, home becomes a refuge and going out a liberation, having access to a world
of possibilities that o en not even the technological world, such as social media, can
compensate for. It seems that in the changes from home to urban spaces - whether public
or semi-public - loneliness becomes emphasised; in the change from being alone to being

79
Alisson Huff and Christie Hartman. The Roots of Loneliness. “The Roots Of Loneliness Project: 100+ Types Of Loneliness
& Counting”. (accessed: 05.04.2022). https://www.rootsofloneliness.com/types-of-loneliness
80
Walter Kohan, Liselott Olsson and Stuart Aitken. “‘Throwntogetherness’: a travelling conversation on the politics of
childhood, education and what a teacher does”. Revista Eletrônica de Educação Vol. 9 No. 3,.(2015): 395
81
Doreen Massey. “Pelo espaço - uma nova política da espacialidade”. (Translation). (Rio de Janeiro, Editora Bertrand Brasil,
2008 [2005]) cited in Walter Kohan, Liselott Olsson and Stuart Aitken. “‘Throwntogetherness’: a travelling conversation on
the politics of childhood, education and what a teacher does”. Revista Eletrônica de Educação Vol. 9 No. 3,.(2015): 395
82
Tonino Griffero. “Atmospheres: Aesthetics of Emotional Spaces”. (Ashgate, Farnham, 2010): 87
 38

with others. Certainly, one can have friends over at one’s home or be out on a square or in
a park alone, but most of the time in this research, the home was portrayed as the place
for working, eating, relaxing and public and semi-public spaces for going out and
socialising, doing sports, etc. These examples are by far not true for everyone, in fact, they
are idealizations of people’s narratives, but the general idea of home and urban spaces is
the idea of being in control or not, being social or not and perhaps, being lonely or not. As
the home space is the most important and most o en mentioned space of people I have
interviewed, it could be the space closest to one - an environment purely designed for
one’s needs and affordances. As one goes out, the search for a public environment that
matches one’s mood and mind - in terms of social contacts, urban design, atmospheres
and the individual need to feel present and have a voice in a given space. The less the ideas
and views of a person are resonating in urban spaces, the more this person may feel lonely,
retreating to a (private) space where no one can fail one’s desires, as no one is there.

The Price to Pay - What Loneliness Costs Whom

Loneliness has its price. A New Zealand-based organisation splits this price, or
cost, into two categories: Costs for the employer of a lonely person and costs for
healthcare expenditures. For both categories, the organisation delivers actual and clear
numbers and “[...] the total annual cost of employee loneliness is ₤2,265 [around 2650€] per
lonely worker. This was made up of sickness absence [...], lower productivity [...] and lower
83
staff retention [...].” Additionally, “[...] according to the New Economics Foundation, they
84
represent about 8% of the annual cost to UK employers of mental ill-health.” For
healthcare, only data for adults older than 65 was available: “The London School of
Economics states: potential health and social care costs of loneliness for Older Adults 65+
was in excess of ₤170 [around 200€] per annum. For the most severely lonely, the potential
85
costs were in excess of ₤600 [around 700€] per annum.” In another paper, Fulton and Jupp
estimated a total cost of being chronically lonely of £11,725 [around 13000€] per person
over the medium term (15 years) compared to those who are not lonely. Approximately

83
Conquering Loneliness in New Zealand. “Employer costs of loneliness”. (accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://loneliness.org.nz/loneliness/costs/employer/
84
Karen Jeffrey, Juliet Michaelson and Saamah Abdallah. New Economics Foundation. “The Costs of Loneliness to UK
Employers”. (February 2017). (accessed: 12.05.2022). https://neweconomics.org/2017/02/cost-loneliness-uk-employers cited in
Conquering Loneliness in New Zealand. “Employer costs of loneliness”. (accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://loneliness.org.nz/loneliness/costs/employer/
85
David McDaid, Annette Bauer and A-La Park. London School of Economics and Political Science. “Making the economic
case for investing in actions to prevent and/or tackle loneliness: a systematic review”. (London, London School of Economics
and Political Science, 2017) cited in Conquering Loneliness in New Zealand. “Healthcare costs of loneliness”. (accessed:
05.04.2022). https://loneliness.org.nz/loneliness/costs/healthcare/
 39

40% of the cost occurred within 5 years of being lonely and around 20% was associated
with residential care. People with loneliness reported a 1.3–1.8 times higher rate of
accessing healthcare services and also had a greater likelihood of developing certain
86
health conditions.” These are of course just the economic costs - personal costs are more
difficult to assess and highly subjective: “There is a huge personal cost to anyone facing
loneliness. This personal cost may then extend to the personal cost to family and
87
friends.” Even the old formula equating severe loneliness with 15 cigarettes a day seems
to rather participate in the social stigma than solve any of the issues - someone feeling
lonely may feel out of place and apply a maladaptive coping behaviour rather than
88
addressing exactly what is needed. Thus, to estimate any economical costs, a certain
disease pattern of loneliness must be presupposed.

It is easy to understand that loneliness may cost but from an economical point of view,
displaying the costs may create a quick-fix attitude - if these are the costs for the economy, we
need to solve the problem. Solving a problem based on how much it costs will eventually
only mitigate the symptoms rather than addressing the core of loneliness: The lonely
person will be treated as opposed to, for example, aiming to enhance the working or living
conditions in the first place, so that eventually more flexible hours and more leisure time
opportunities would also mitigate the costs and address the issue at its core, at least for
some. However, rather than focusing on the question of how much time and space should
be given to individuals experiencing loneliness, it is more relevant to allow for a more
flexible time management; a er all, some individuals may prefer to work more so as to feel
less lonely. If employers would allow for the experience of loneliness to unfold - perhaps
allowing people time off to explore this emotion, any person experiencing loneliness may
have the theoretical chance to become an expert on loneliness, being eventually able to
help future employees to address the problem. Nevertheless, the quick-fix attitude seems
to be the only one that follows capitalist logic, as illustrated by the title of the previously
mentioned article by The Guardian: Can loneliness be cured with a pill? Scientists are now

86
Lauren Fulton and Ben Jupp. “Investing to tackle loneliness - a discussion paper”. (London, Social Finance, 2015) cited in
Catherine Mihalopoulos, et. al. “The economic costs of loneliness: a review of cost‐of‐illness and economic evaluation
studies”. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology, Vol. 55. No. 7. (2019): 4
87
Conquering Loneliness in New Zealand. “Financial costs of loneliness”. (accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://loneliness.org.nz/loneliness/costs/
88
This expression is reproduced in popular media many times, however the original source is unclear. Ortiz-Ospine,
Esteban (Our World in Data) states in an article ”How important are social relations for our health and well-being?” from
2019: “There are dozens of articles reporting the ‘15 cigarettes a day’ figure. See for example [...] in WebMD, and [...] in The
Daily Mail. From what I gather, all the articles that cite this figure trace back to Dr. Vivek Murthy and a meta-analysis by
Holt-Lunstad et al. (2015)[...]. When I reviewed this meta-analysis I did find the claim that loneliness is a risk factor
comparable to smoking; but I could not find the calculations that lead to the 15 cigarettes benchmark.”.
https://ourworldindata.org/social-relations-health-and-well-being
 40

89
asking the question. Interestingly enough, this support in the form of a pill has been
explored by John Cacioppo and William Patrick, two of the most well-known loneliness
researchers. The authors write: “When they learn more, they [realise] that, for most of us,
there is no need for a chemical fix. Some individuals caught in the feedback loop of
loneliness and negative affect, when they begin to focus on changing their social
perceptions and [behaviours], might benefit from medications to first bring their
depression or anxiety under control. But once again, loneliness itself is not a disease;
feeling lonely from time to time is like feeling hungry or thirsty from time to time. It is
part of being human. The trick is to heed these signals in ways that bring long-term
90
satisfaction.” Loneliness may be a symptom that can also become a problem;
additionally, to understand, loneliness is o en the result of happenstance and life
decisions (according to my interviews). In fact, the idea of the loneliness pill, here used
symbolically for describing a particular view on loneliness, renders out the possibility of
learning and of having a positive outcome that could be taught and valued over
generations. Unfortunately, the costs of loneliness can be expressed in actual numbers but
the benefits cannot. There are no statistics to my knowledge that express how many
people have changed their lives to more supportive friendships, other jobs, careers and
workplaces and how this is benefiting the economy based on higher well-being and
perhaps productivity of a person. If companies would want to go the route of estimating
the costs of their lonely employees, they may also calculate the benefits, giving the
impression that being lonely is a universal experience and no one should be ashamed of
feeling lonely. Thus, explaining the costs of loneliness is to explain only half and
over-rationalize the experience of loneliness.

Social Stigma of Loneliness

A stigma describes “a strong feeling of disapproval that most people in a society

91
have about something, especially when this is unfair.” Further, a social stigma “[...] is the
disapproval of, or discrimination against, a person based on perceivable social
characteristics that serve to distinguish them from other members of a given society. It
may also be described as a label that associates a person to a set of unwanted

89
Abby Carney. The Guardian. “Can loneliness be cured with a pill? Scientists are now asking the question”. (August 2020). (accessed:
10th August 2022). https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/aug/06/loneliness-cure-pill-research-scientists
90
John Cacioppo and William Patrick. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New
York, Norton Paperback, 2009): 228
91
Cambridge Dictionary. “Stigma”. (Cambridge, Cambridge University, Press). (accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/stigma
 41

92
characteristics that form a stereotype.” More specifically, in regards to loneliness, the
social stigma seems o en attached to a person (from another person or a group) not per sé
because of feeling lonely, but because of, in terms of young adults, feeling lonely when
being young or when being socially connected: “This might reflect the (erroneous but
prevalent) idea that loneliness is more prevalent among older people, which would by
definition make loneliness more normative in older participants, and lead younger
participants to feel more vulnerable to stigma from the community, more ashamed, and
93
more keen to conceal their loneliness.” The coming-into-existence of a social stigma is in
itself a complicated process: People may express that being lonely is something everyone
feels and nothing to be ashamed of, but may treat the person that seems lonely or comes
alone to a certain space differently; and even if not, then the lonely person may assume
behaviours from others around and adjust its own behaviour proactively. Additionally,
loneliness is a largely invisible condition which can only be exposed to others by oneself
and one’s behaviour - other than a broken leg. However, admitting to being lonely may be
problematic: First, admitting it to friends may seem like questioning these friendships.
Friends or family may also start to treat the lonely person differently, something that in
return may be unwanted or undesired by that lonely person. “The secrecy and stigma
attached to loneliness is clearly out of proportion to the sheer numbers of people who
experience it and yet there is still very little attempt to normalise and de-stigmatise, let
94
alone equip young people to deal with it.” Further, there seems to be o en “‘[...] no way of
95
knowing how to judge the seriousness’ of individual experiences of loneliness.”

The stigmas of and around loneliness are manifold. Some of its aspects include the way
lonely people see themselves and rate Others’ behaviours. Other considerations include
how lonely people are seen by others. Here, I want to concentrate on how lonely people
see themselves and rate their interactions, as this is fundamentally part of their coping
behaviour. Christensen and Kashy in their study of Texas University students found that
“[...] lonelier people viewed their own behaviour more negatively than did less lonely
people. Although lonelier people were more disparaging about themselves, this negativity

92
The Free Online Palliative Care Dictionary. “Social Stigma”. (accessed 05.04.2022). https://pallipedia.org/social-stigma/
93
Manuela Barreto. et. al. “Exploring the nature and variation of the stigma associated with loneliness”. Journal of Social and
Personal Relationships. Vol. 39 No. 9. 2022: 2672-2673
94
Adrian Franklin and Bruce Tranter. “AHURI Essay: Housing, Loneliness and Health”. (Melbourne, Australian Housing
and Urban Research Institute, 2011): 12
95
Adrian Franklin and Bruce Tranter. “AHURI Essay: Housing, Loneliness and Health”. (Melbourne, Australian Housing
and Urban Research Institute, 2011) cited in David Baker. “All the lonely people: loneliness in Australia, 2001-2009 Institute
Paper 9.” (Canberra, The Australia Institute, [no date]): 6
 42

96
did not [generalise] to ratings of others.” People use their self-perceptions and beliefs
about how others view them to adjust their behaviour. This may be because lonely people
may have had a bad experience and shy away from future interactions. “The
hypersensitivity to negative social information and the diminished pleasure derived from
positive social stimuli might be expected to shape social expectations and motivations and
97
contribute to a downward [spiralling] of negative affect and depressive symptomatology.”
Matthews et. al. further found in their study of 18-year-old British adults who
self-reported loneliness: “The first theme, uncomfortable in its own skin, shows lonely
participants struggling to feel at ease in dyadic interactions with people they have met for
the first time. Shyness, awkwardness, low confidence, and negative self-perceptions made
98
it difficult for conversation to flow freely.”

However, in this net of self-perceptions and impressions of how others may perceive
oneself, there is the possibility that a positive stigma could occur from others: “Although
lonelier people consistently thought they were seen more negatively by others, they were
generally not viewed differently than less lonely people. If anything, lonelier people were
99
seen as more friendly.” Loneliness may create the need for being treated overly friendly
and open and as lonely people may pursue so, they may want to exhibit such behaviours to
others. To some degree, I found in my study that lonely people may o en come across as
open and positive and are highly focused and interested in social interactions. However, in
my experience a er this research, lonely people may be very goal-oriented and as such
conflicted inside: In some cases, they may be friendly towards a person until this person is
no longer needed as part of their coping behaviour: “[...] the feeling may serve a purpose.
Psychologists [theorise] that it hurts so much because, like hunger and thirst, loneliness
acts as a biological alarm bell. The ache of it drives us to seek out a social connection just
100
as hunger pangs urge us to eat.” Additionally: “Research has shown that even when
lonely people do have the opportunity to socialise, the feeling warps their perception of

96
Niehls Christensen and Deborah Kashy. “Perceptions of and by Lonely People in Initial Social Interactions”. Personality
and Social Psychology Bulletin. Vol. 24 No. 3, (2009): 326-327
97
John Cacioppo and Louise Hawkley. “Perceived social isolation and cognition”. Trends in Cognitive Sciences. Vol.13. No.10.
(2009): 450
98
Timothy Matthews, et. al. “This is what loneliness looks like: A mixed-methods study of loneliness in
adolescence and young adulthood”. International Journal of Behavioral Development. Vol. 46 Issue. 1. (2022): 25
99
Niehls Christensen and Deborah Kashy. “Perceptions of and by Lonely People in Initial Social Interactions”.
Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin. Vol. 24 No. 3, (2009): 326
100
Lydia Denworth. Scientific American. The Loneliness of the “Social Distancer” Triggers Brain Cravings Akin to Hunger. (April 2020).
(accessed: 05.04.2022). https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-loneliness-of-the-social-distancer-triggers-brain-cravings-akin-to-hunger/
 43

what’s going on. Ironically, this means that while it increases their yearning for social
101
contact, it also impairs their ability to interact with others normally.”

Certainly, loneliness cannot be seen by others, but within the context of the social stigma,
other people may imagine that the person who walks alone may be lonely, may be there
alone for a reason. On the contrary, the lonely person that walks in a group would most
likely not be seen as lonely. Such an impression may be stronger or less strong depending
on the socio-spatial context: Going alone to a bar may seem lonely, going alone in the park
may seem less lonely. But it takes more than just walking alone, for example crying, until
other people may offer help. Other social cues that I have learned about from the
interviews I conducted may include that lonely people may be less on their phone when
around with others, try to establish eye contact, try to prolong social events or be overly
active in a social context, perhaps to cover up for one’s actual vulnerability. Here is an
example from a respondent from Milan: “I don’t have a schedule or something to do when I am
with new people, just go with the flow right now. Before, yes. I tended to have kind of a script, OK,
I was like very bubbly, super outgoing, very extra and I am really quick-wit and people appreciate
that and I think I am funny, lots of people laugh at my jokes, so probably yes...it is a curse but
102103
someone has to do it, it is a hard job but someone has to do it.” Another respondent from
Manchester displays such a feeling of exposure or self-awareness: “I would feel if I was… if I
was walking around, and I didn't, I wasn't listening to something I think I would feel like at best, a
bit bored. And at worst, sort of very exposed and aware of the fact that I'm walking around by
104
myself.” Being overly self-aware when being with others is a difficult state - loneliness
can hardly be seen but the person experiencing it may feel as if it can.

Lastly, a stigma can be attached to a certain geographical unit, such as a low-income

neighbourhood or social housing. It may also be more present in certain situations, such
as restaurants or cafés but less in public transport or when walking on the street. Stigmas
may also be connected to a certain lifestyle, such as the person who enjoys a beer in public
or smokes. Within this network of social stigmas, lonely people who o entimes feel

101
John Cacioppo and Louise Hawkley. “Perceived social isolation and cognition”. Trends in Cognitive Sciences. Vol.13. No.10.
(2009) cited in Zaria Gorvett. BBC. “How solitude and isolation can affect your social skills”. (October 2020. (accessed: 05.04.2022).
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20201022-how-solitude-and-isolation-can-change-how-you-think
102
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
103
All interview quotes henceforth used are completely anonymous.Neither age nor gender are used for the quotes. Age and
gender will become relevant as part of the analysis. The reference only includes the city, whether it was a main interview or
a preliminary interview (from the beginning of 2020), the year and the month, so as to understand the respective period of
the pandemic.
104
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
 44

already overly sensitive (or visible) around others, have to navigate. A constant need to
break through the social stigma - even though only perceived by the person experiencing
loneliness - may push this person towards detachment from others as it takes (over time)
too much energy to socialise. Here is a quote from one of my respondents from
Manchester: “As soon as I go into Manchester I'm paranoid, I'm not… I'm…. I'm like hyper-aware
of everything like I'm just looking over my shoulder all the time because there are pickpockets
around and you know, like people constantly asking you for money and. And cigarettes and
whatever else and and and you just. You're constantly watching your back [...]. I mean like if you
have seen what's been going on in Manchester recently about people getting spiked with injections,
right? [...] I don't want to go to. I don't want to go out because it's something like that happened to
me and it has happened to me in the past where someone put something in my drink and I've woke
105
up somewhere else not knowing what's happened to me and I've had, yeah.” In this example,
the respondent is stigmatising the outside world, thinking that everyone is potentially
dangerous so a decision has been made, to mostly not go outside at all. Thus, it may create
social anxiety and in return, may make social interactions more difficult as they are
charged with fears and expectations. Another respondent from Manchester explains this
circumstance as follows: “So many different emotions come from being honest and admitting
you are lonely is one of the most honest things you can say, hence why not many people talk about
it because it is a negative to be lonely ….you don’t have friends, you don’t have good relationships,
not connections with people and you know, the one thing that everyone has in common with that is
106
themselves, they become the subject of the issue because I am the one being lonely.”

Overall, addressing any social stigma is not a simple task. An American committee on the
Science of Changing [Behavioural] Health Social Norms from the National Academy of
Sciences in Washington suggests the following ways of addressing social stigma:
Education - to inform people about what it’s like to experience loneliness (or generally
mental health issues); allow more contact between for example lonely people and
non-lonely people (or people with mental health conditions and without); encouragement
of those experiencing loneliness (or mental health challenges) to speak up, communicate
107
to their friends or professional services. Interestingly enough, a er having done this
research, I noticed how my own openness to loneliness, even beyond the research context,
shi ed - from being sensitive about the topic to treating it as a casual and universal

105
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
106
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
107
Committee on the Science of Changing Behavioral Health Social Norms. “Ending Discrimination Against People with
Mental and Substance Use Disorders: The Evidence for Stigma Change “. (Washington (DC), National Academies Press, 2016)
 45

experience. I, therefore, believe that a social stigma can only be overcome through direct
action. Spatial design, social organisations, awareness and education may assist that
process of speaking up.

Here, I would also like to point out that the amount of people that expressed interest in
partaking in my study but did not pursue the interview consequently is overwhelming and
raises many questions. O entimes, it seems that people have thought it is a good idea to
talk about their experience with loneliness, but have reconsidered this decision. In
Manchester, I have had 17 people express interest in taking part in this study by sending
me a message on Facebook. Seven did not get back to me a er the initial contact. In
Milan, 50 people wrote to me and expressed their interest and out of those, 19 did not get
back to me. This similarly raises questions of social stigma. It may further point to
emotional fluctuations within the experience of loneliness: Sometimes people may feel the
need and be ready to open up, at other times they cannot find this courage so easily. These
people would simply disappear a er the first contact, most of the time not even reading
my messages again. Furthermore, some of the respondents that did talk to me wanted to
know very precisely where the information they gave me will be published, being only
calmed a er I ensured it would be anonymous and their identity could not be traced back
by the reader.

Introduction: Reflections on Loneliness and Postmodernity

As I have defined loneliness previously, this definition can be utilised as a way of

encountering the dichotomies I will discuss next: urban vs. rural, individualistic vs.
collectivistic, online vs. offline. Given that the feeling of loneliness marks a certain
discrepancy between desired and achieved social connections, for example, it is helpful to
think through these dichotomies with that in mind. But whether desired and achieved
social connections determine one’s loneliness has much to do with how well one can
adjust to certain environments or circumstances. As Goswick and Jones pointed out
already at the beginning of the 1980s: “Results indicated that loneliness was related to
108
more negative self-concepts, possibly less adjustment, and more self-focus.” It is this
self-adjustment that may play a crucial role. A city may promise many social connections,
a more collective society a warm nest and social media endless possibilities to get in touch

108
Ruth Ann Goswick and Warren H. Jones. “Loneliness, self-concept and adjustment.” The Journal of Psychology Vol. 107.
(1981): 237
 46

with like-minded people. However firstly, self-adjustment is influenced by one’s

expectations: In an individualistically-oriented, high-paced urban space, it may be
difficult to find social connections for someone coming from a collective and cosy rural
area. Given that, high hopes to find such people online may only be disappointing, as it
was in fact for many of my respondents. To the lense of understanding loneliness as
produced in-between what is desired and what is achieved, I return at the end of a later
chapter here, when explaining my coping behaviours. The key elements to take away from
this introduction are that if loneliness is a certain mismatch between oneself and the
outside world, then there are expectations, self-adjustments and coping behaviours
interconnectedly at work regulating this mismatch, aiming to minimise it.

Individualism and Indifference

In this chapter, I will shed light on loneliness using and explaining different
postmodern ideas and concepts that may influence the experience of loneliness. This
chapter shall invite the reader to actively think about the social conditions within which
‘modern’ loneliness can be analysed. It is to be kept in mind that research in this field is
vague and fuzzy and too direct connections between loneliness and different postmodern
conditions should not be drawn per sé, but always and only in the context of each
loneliness experience, meaning relating to the narrative of each person experiencing
loneliness.

The first of these ideas is the idea of individualism. Nico, Leonardi and Zeggio state:
“Contemporary individuals live in a paradox: at the same time that they are looking for
Liquid Love - affective detachment, preservation of freedom and uncommitting in
relationships - they complain of loneliness and isolation. The supposed sensation of
freedom brings, on its flip side, the evidence of the lack of effective abandonment in
109110
which the “modern-liquid” individuals find themselves.” Generally speaking, it seems
as if the prevailing lifestyle does not come without its problems for individuals that then
become societal problems. However, the idea of liquid love - or affective detachment - may
teach, that “[i]ndividuals are now solely responsible for their misfortunes, and personal
111
problems in liquid modernity are no longer seen as public issues.” It could be argued

109
Yara Nico, Jan Luiz Leonardi and Larissa Zeggio. “Depression as a Cultural Phenomenon in Postmodern Society An
Analytical-Behavioral Essay of Our Time”. (Cham, SpringerBriefs in Psychology, 2020): 42
110
Zygmunt Bauman. “Liquid love: On the fragility of human beings”. (Medeiros, C.A. Trans.). (Rio de Janeiro, Jorge Zahar,
2004).
111
Shaun Best. “Liquid Love: Zygmunt Bauman’s thesis on sex revisited”. Sexualities, Vol. 22 No. 7-8. (2019): 1099
 47

that with this relative social freedom for an individual comes to a certain social
responsibility: “These new social demands required that individuals perform a careful
self-observation of bodily functions, emotional states, thoughts, and emotions so that, in
this way, they can control unwanted social actions. The importance of distinguishing
between what should be reserved for the intimate life and, in the last instance, be felt and
thought “within itself” and what could be expressed for the other led to the constituting of
112113
the ‘invisible wall of emotions’.”

The concepts of liquid love by Zygmunt Bauman, as relative freedom and need for the
temporary satisfaction of the individual and the Invisible Wall by Norbert Elias, in my
understanding the attempt of an individual to maintain autonomy whilst negotiating the
impossibility of sharing one’s inner life to others spans the concept of individualism. In
this sense, feeling lonely can be understood as one’s fault, so it is also one’s responsibility
to make sure to fit into society again, namely by maintaining full functionality despite
perhaps painful emotional experiences, or, “[...] as Tocqueville put it, [...] noting this trend
of democratic societies towards ever more well-being as a reduction of the impact of
114
social misfortune and an equalisation of all destinies.” Such an overly focus on
well-being, or happiness, renders out more and more the possibility to feel lonely yet may
higher the chance to become, by making it easier to feel le out (socially). Additionally,
security, safety, warmth, love, rootedness, family and home - elements that a lonely
individual may long for seem to be presented as the opposite of self-development,
excitement, experience and career. Loneliness becomes almost a paradox that interferes
with a progressive idea of self-development at first glance, but that however may carry in
itself the need to self-develop with a stronger focus on social bonds and individual care:
Loneliness can therefore be understood as a manual of how an individual wishes to
self-develop. Here is the actual malady of the experience of individualism and loneliness
rooted: Even though many people are experiencing loneliness, these people rarely get in
contact with one another to share and help each other, yet as most of my respondents did,
acknowledge the presence of other lonely individuals. However, every individual
experiencing loneliness may eventually be dependent on some type of external help or
reinforcement: “Therefore, postmodern individuals are considerably more dependent on a

112
Yara Nico, Jan Luiz, Leonardi and Larissa Zeggio. “Depression as a Cultural Phenomenon in Postmodern Society An
Analytical-Behavioral Essay of Our Time”. (Cham, SpringerBriefs in Psychology, 2020): 21
113
Norbert Elias. “The Civilizing Process''. (Oxford: Blackwell, 2000) cited in Bo Lars Kaspersen and Norman Gabriel. “The
importance of survival units for Norbert Elias’s figurational perspective”. The Sociological Review, Vol. 56 No. 3 (2008): 372
114
Alexis de Tocqueville. [no source] cited in Jean Baudrillard. “The Consumer Society: Myths and Structures”. (London,
SAGE Publishers 1998): 10
 48

type of reinforcement [...]. The insecurity generated by the instability of the social
reinforcement system gains more drastic results in a culture that is [organised] on the
basis of competitive contingencies because if the dominant logic is that having an
individual value means being ‘better than’ the others, the individuals become less likely to
115
value the others.” But the difficulty of achieving that reinforcement, yet perhaps the core
of one’s coping with loneliness is emphasised by the fact that others may have little time
in a capitalist society. One therefore may consult a therapist whose job exactly it is to help
in that regard, which in return requires one to spend money and time and therefore to
maintain somewhat of a stable income whilst consulting a therapist. In other words: It
may be simple in a highly competitive society to fall into loneliness, such as when one
cannot fulfil the need for liquid love and the difficulty of successfully sharing such
emotion with others may in return hinder a rather quick outcome from one’s loneliness.

On a more general note, postmodern society and individualism may be analysed along its
institutions. Savelchuk, professor of education and social work from Kyiv explains: “The
state, which is under the influence of the postmodernist paradigm, has gradually moved
away from guaranteeing and ensuring the interests of society towards ensuring the
116
priority of the selfish needs of individuals.” One could consider loneliness as a ‘selfish’
need, triggered by the choice of one’s social circles for example and as such it is an
expression of individualism. “The artificial separation of the self from society and the
belief in the primacy and superiority of the autonomous actor is the myth of
117
individualism.” In that sense, individualism may drive people to make their major life
decisions on their own; and people may realise the puzzle of loneliness can only be solved
with others. These others can be friends or family but also the state, who in the form of
provision of healthcare may provide support to the lonely person whereas previously.

The next concepts around individualism are uprootedness and self-development. An own
home or house, a family, the church, the children, the friends - all of these were pillars out
of which most could be found in people’s life not too many years ago in Europe (and
beyond) and perhaps, many of these were given and taken for granted. In contemporary
society, some of these pillars have gained importance while others have lost importance:

115
Yara Nico; Jan Luiz, Leonardi and Larissa Zeggio. “Depression as a Cultural Phenomenon in Postmodern Society: An
Analytical-Behavioral Essay of Our Time”. (Cham, SpringerBriefs in Psychology, 2020): 38
116
Iryna Savelchuk, et. al. “Trends in the Development of Social Work: Postmodern Ideas and Prospects”. Postmodern
Openings. Vol. 12 No. 3. (2021): 150
117
Peter Callero. “The Myth of Individualism: How Social Forces Shape Our Lives”. (Lanham, Rowman & Littlefield
Publishers, 2009): 29
 49

Most people I interviewed for this research were not owning a flat or a house but lived in a
shared flat or rented alone, were single, did not belong to the church and were mainly
concerned with themselves and their personal development as well as with their social and
emotional relationships with friends, partners or potential partners. Having the freedom
to choose and being responsible for oneself, one is faced with a process of
decision-making that aims at declaring importance on some institutions in one’s life, so
for example putting a value on friendships or one’s personal development: Moving
countries, cities, within one city, jobs, partners, friends. All of these choices are made
upon the idea that one wants to develop oneself as well as the need and desire to maintain
relationships. Such balance can be very difficult: “Our identities are products of social
relationships, and when predictable social connections are disrupted, we feel alienated,
lost, dejected, and depressed. Most of us recognize this psychological state in the grief we
experience following the death of a loved one. But it is also associated with the loss of any
steady or long-term relationships - the break-up of a marriage, a child moving away, the
termination of a friendship, the retirement of a colleague. This is why a job loss can be so
devastating. To be laid off from a job means much more than simply losing a paycheck - it
118
can also be an overwhelming blow to one’s social identity and sense of self.” During this
research, I increasingly gained the impression that people are faced with questions whose
answers they had to slowly work out themselves: How does one find friends when moving?
What to do if you fell in love and it is unrequited? How o en can you change jobs? How do you
come out when you know that your family will not accept you anymore? Should one have a family,
marry, have a child or none of those? How much time do you spend on your own versus with
others? One potential way of engaging with these questions could be described by Linville
who suggests that “[...] [w]hen people experience negative events, they experience negative
thoughts and feelings associated with particular self-aspects. These negative thoughts and
feelings then spill over and [colour] thoughts and feelings about associated self-aspects.
Because people high in self-complexity tend to have more self-aspects, and because they
are less likely to experience spillover effects, the impact of a negative event is likely to be
119
confined to a smaller proportion of their self-representation.” In the words of social
psychologist Kenneth Gergen’s book: “The healthy, happy human being wears many
120
masks." This may be a coping behaviour inherent to an individualised lifestyle - since I
am different selves on different occasions, I will maintain some versions of myself that are not
lonely. Therefore, one may look for personal belonging or a job, but at the same time

118
Ibid: 119
119
Patricia Linville. “Self-complexity as a cognitive buffer against stress-related illnesses and depression”. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 52 No. 4 (1987): 671
120
Kenneth Gergen. “The Healthy, Happy Human being Wears Many Masks”. (London, Fontana Press, 1996)
 50

looking for a partner or having to make another major life decision can be an
overwhelming and potentially lonely experience.

“Among the changes that accompanied the consolidation of modern capitalist societies
was the emergence of a new way of seeing, feeling, and thinking about oneself. The advent
of a modern western conception of the individual as an autonomous individual,
121
independent of others, is a central aspect of these [individualised] societies.” This new
way of feeling and thinking about oneself is still to be considered in a social framework:
“When we experience physiological arousal, the explanation we give to our feelings will be
influenced by the reactions of others, our expectations of what our mood should be, and
the cultural labels we use to name our feelings. In this way, emotions are socially
constructed. When we experience anger, joy, fear, or sadness, our body responds in very
noticeable ways, but society provides the vocabulary for making sense of these
122
sensations.” Hence, in a postmodern society, there may be a certain way of feeling lonely
and a double frustration if one’s loneliness does not fit the culturally dominant way - so
may for example people experience that a lonely help hotline may not be the right
approach, despite being socially accepted and perhaps recommended to use.
Consequently, one may privatise one’s emotion even more - returning to the Invisible Wall
of Emotions suggested by Elias - up until a point when this emotion cannot be longer
bottled up and one’s existing institutions, for example, friendships or the workplace, may
become the first institutions to notice one’s condition by serving as the site of one’s
emotional projections. But attempting to work through one’s emotions (silently) and by
oneself, may be possible due to another condition of postmodernity.

The idea of indifference, especially in the urban context, can be developed and understood
in many ways. Simmel used the idea to express an overload of stimuli people are facing, a
sort of mental state people apply as a bumper against the outside world, for example,
123
crowds. Here, being indifferent is portrayed as the result of too many external stimuli,
thus it is somewhat like a self-protective mechanism. In 2003, Sociologist Fran Tonkiss
from the London School of Economics applied the idea in a different way by saying that
being indifferent is to accept the difference of others - I care about you by not caring about

121
Yara Nico, Jan Luiz Leonardi and Larissa Zeggio. “Depression as a Cultural Phenomenon in Postmodern Society: An
Analytical-Behavioral Essay of Our Time”. (Cham, SpringerBriefs in Psychology, 2020): 23
122
Peter Callero. “The Myth of Individualism: How Social Forces Shape Our Lives”. (Lanham, Rowman & Littlefield
Publishers, 2009): 58
123
Georg Simmel. “The Metropolis and Mental Life”.. Chapter 1 in Gary Bridge and Sophie Watson. The Blackwell City
Reader. (Hoboken, Blackwell, 2002, [1967])
 51

you: In Tonkiss’ words: “[...] it is to suggest that part of a politics of difference (important
because mundane) is when differences go unremarked because unremarkable, where
otherness is ordinary, where a logic of anonymity displaces one of visibility. Indifference
124
is, in this sense, one way in which differences are lived in everyday social spaces.”
Indifference however may not be a concern on a daily basis but may become relevant when
faced with loneliness: Where is the stranger's smile? Where is the help? Who is friendly and
listening and who is not? Denise Riley, in her paper The Right to be Lonely says: “I cannot
wait around too long for my inclusion there, since whatever is social has, like me, only a
125
limited lease on life, is eroded by the brute passage of time.” The temporality of social
interaction coupled with the reliance on oneself that may be experienced in postmodernity
may be transformed into what Riley calls the right to be lonely: “‘The right to be lonely’
could also suggest the hope of being alone, yet understood as also social even within one’s
solitariness. Solitude, as a pretty noun o en religiously linked to creativity’s desiderata,
126
may be acknowledged to be necessary.” Perhaps, what Riley had in mind is alone time,
but certainly within the experience of loneliness, even though painful, such alone time is
inevitable. In that regard, time spent alone is a social time in the making, recharging one’s
social batteries, to use a common expression. But where does one get such alone time? “[...]
imagine a person who spends the entire day in bed and does not go to work in order to
avoid a meeting in which he or she will probably be reprimanded. Going to bed avoids the
aversive event (reprehension) but also prevents the individual from getting in contact with
positive reinforcement contingencies that could contribute to the change of his depressive
127
condition.” As a consequence, loneliness may quickly feel like being thrown out of
society, if the prevailing social norms or behaviours are characterised by the idea of
indifference.

For now, it is relevant to mention that despite loneliness in postmodernity can be

conceptualised or approached through a variety of social concepts, each individual is
participating in and inheriting different degrees of these concepts - some even may suffer
from their own conceptualization of the world, such as pictured in this quote from one
respondent in Milan: “[Y]ou find yourself on the metro or bars, looking at people and start crying
128
because you are imagining their life.” Here, one could arrive at the conclusion that for many

124
Fran Tonkiss. “The ethics of indifference Community and solitude in the city”. International Journal of Cultural Studies Vol.
6 No. 3. (2003): 299-300
125
Denise Riley. “The Right to be Lonely”. Journal of Feminist Cultural Studies Vol. 13, No. 1 ( 2002): 5
126
Ibid: 9
127
Yara Nico, Jan Luiz Leonardi and Larissa Zeggio. “Depression as a Cultural Phenomenon in Postmodern Society: An
Analytical-Behavioral Essay of Our Time”. (Cham, SpringerBriefs in Psychology, 2020): 7
128
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 52

young adults, including the ones I have talked to, a certain general pain, within which
loneliness is included, exists. This may be summarised by the German word Weltschmerz
(world-pain), defined as “mental depression or apathy caused by comparison of the actual
state of the world with an ideal state” and initially coined by the German writer Jean Paul
129
in 1927. But whereas some people like this respondent from Milan seem to suffer
imagining the social conditions through projecting their feelings onto others, other
respondent’s, such as the following from Manchester, choose to play with the impression
of anonymity or indifference to their own advantage: “[...] [I]f I have a bad time. If I have to go
and get the kids from school, I would force myself to leave the house 5 minutes earlier...walk
130
slower...sounds so stupid but I will purposefully reet every single person on my way to school.”
This may be one answer to the question asked by Shalin in Self in Crisis: Identity in the
Postmodern Condition: “Is there an existential crisis facing postmodern individuals? Do
they feel the loss of agency? Which are the ways in which emotions help manage
131
self-identity in the overloaded postmodern conditions?”

Lonely Individualist and Non-Lonely Collectivist?

This chapter will discuss the (potential) effect of experiencing loneliness when
living in a more individualistic society compared to a more collectivistic one. However,
first I want to mention that neither are exclusive categories and that loneliness invites us
to think beyond the individual or solely the collective realm, that is, toward the
transindividual realm. Read explains: “[...] [T]ransindividuality itself, the assertion that the
very conditions of our individuation, the affects, desires, habits, and gestures that seem
most unique to us, are shared in ways that we do not recognise. This is not in itself a
common interest, a collective belonging, or even a common sense, but provides the basis
132
for the articulation of collective relations.” In other words and as I will explain
elsewhere in this thesis, lonely is a unique (to the individual) experience that is collective
in the sense that many people experiencing it. It is, however, difficult to share for various
reasons: One may not have someone to share or trust, one may not know how to dress this
emotion into words and one may also not know how to let oneself experience this emotion
in light of an ever-demanding capitalist system (as explained, for example, in the chapter
The Price to Pay - What Loneliness Costs Whom). Read states further: “It is quite possible
then that [...] the division between individuality and social relations, is itself a historical

129
Merriam Webster. Weltschmerz. (accessed: 06.04.2022). https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weltschmerz
130
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
131
Dmitri Shalin. “Self in Crisis: Identity in the Postmodern Condition”. Symbolic Interaction, Vol. 16 No. 4. (1993): 327
132
Jason Read. “The Politics of Transindividuality.” (Leiden, Brill, 2016): 290
 53

project, not just in the sense that decades of ideological battles have made the individual
standing against the collective an ideological rallying cry – making it necessary to
reanimate the problem of individuation beneath this ideology of individualism. But that
capitalism itself as a social relation produces an imaginary of isolated individuals against
an all-powerful and naturalised system. Thus any project that escapes this binary [...] are
themselves products of this historical conjuncture even as they try to escape the clutches
133
of its concepts.” With the concept of transindividuality, I choose to open up this part of
the chapter because it precisely invites to seek something between the binary system of
the individual and the collective. I am therefore asking: In what way can loneliness be that
beyond, that bridges between the o en mutually exclusive categories? What lies in the
responsibility of the individual and of the collective? Personally, the answer to these questions
is beyond the aim of this thesis, but I suggest this way of thinking to follow: If emotions
are shared across all humans, then sharing these emotions will benefit a more collective
understanding and caretaking. And if emotions have this power, why does it seem o en
less problematic or difficult to share an emotion, that is commonly regarded as happy? In
the words of the title of one article “All Happy Emotions Are Alike but Every Unhappy
134
Emotion Is Unhappy in Its Own Way.” In that sense, this thesis is also an exploration of
what is shared in the experience of loneliness and what is transindividual, that is, what
exceeds one individual.

Generally, the relationship between loneliness and postmodernity in a given society is

complex relationship. For one, because countries (or cultures for that matter) are different
within themselves, so for example the south of Italy from the very north of Italy - a similar
north-south divide can be found in the United Kingdom. For two, the degree to which one
individual and their social network are representing that culture or that postmodern
condition is questionable, so for example if that individual has lived abroad for a longer
period.

The next relevant question here is what it means to be lonely in an individualist country
compared to a collectivist country. This question addresses precisely a surprise people
regularly expressed towards me, namely that I research loneliness in the Italian context,
whereas for many people it seemed as if loneliness is either non-existent or if it is, it is
socially cured, most likely referring to an Italian stereotype of dense social networks

133
Ibid: 287
134
Markus Mattsson; Telle Hailikari and Anna Parpala. "All Happy Emotions Are Alike but Every Unhappy Emotion Is
Unhappy in Its Own Way: A Network Perspective to Academic Emotions." Frontiers Pychology. (2020).
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.00742/full
 54

within which one can hardly experience loneliness. The question is, however, to what
extent Italy can be said to be a collectivist country and to what extent people in Britain,
for example, exhibit individualist traits. For a definition of both, I will rely on Hofstede
Insights - a consulting company engaged with cultural analysis: “The high side of this
dimension, called Individualism, can be defined as a preference for a loosely-knit social
framework in which individuals are expected to take care of only themselves and their
immediate families. Its opposite, Collectivism, represents a preference for a tightly-knit
framework in society in which individuals can expect their relatives or members of a
particular ingroup to look a er them in exchange for unquestioning loyalty. A society’s
position on this dimension is reflected in whether people’s self-image is defined in terms
135
of ‘I’ or ‘we’.” Hofstede ranks both Italy and England as mostly individualistic countries.
The organisation even provides a measure of individualism within which the United
Kingdom scores 89/100 and Italy 76/100, based on the extent to which people are primarily
expected to look a er themselves. Certainly, such measurement and understanding easily
be problematic, as Oyserman and Kemmelmeier point out: “Our main criticisms of the
extent [Individualism-Collectivism] literature are the overly broad and diffuse ways
researchers define and assess these constructs and their apparent willingness to accept
136
any cross-national difference as evidence of [Individualism-Collectivism] processes.”

I will not rely too strongly on Hofstede, as I am sceptical to what extent such measures are
true for the individuals in my study as well as how Hofstede’s research was carried out.
However, at this point, it is worth thinking about how the experience of loneliness may
unfold in both types of cultures. Firstly, one may assume that in a collectivist culture,
there is less loneliness as people do take care of one another. The possibility of one
member of society being lonely seems lower and the social network might buffer
pro-actively. On the other hand, in an individualistic culture, loneliness seems almost
inscribed into the culture – something that can happen along the way or while pursuing
one’s ideals and career. But these perhaps common assumptions may not reflect the social
reality of these cultures, as Allik and Realo describe in their paper on social capital in
relation to individualism and collectivism: “Paradoxically, in societies where individuals
are more autonomous and seemingly liberated from social bonds, the same individuals are
also more inclined to form voluntary associations and to trust each other and to have a

135
Hofstede Insights. Geert Hofstede. “National Culture, Individualism vs. Collectivism”. (accessed: 07.04.2022).
https://hi.hofstede-insights.com/national-culture
136
Daphna Oyserman, Heather Coon and Markus Kemmelmeier. “Rethinking individualism and collectivism: evaluation of
theoretical assumptions and meta-analyses”. Psychological Bulletin. Vol 128 No. 1. (2002): 44
 55

137
certain kind of public spirit.” The authors conclude that individualistic values appear to
be conducive to social capital and social capital appears to be conducive to
138
individualism.” Additionally, sociologist Christopher Swader states: “Societal
individualism reduces loneliness, but we do not know how this effect occurs, since it is
not due to personal adherence to individualism [...]. As mechanisms, I suggest that
individualist societies provide (1) social infrastructure for people with individualist
lifestyles, in terms of associations, public spaces and events, public transport, and
commercial resources catering to the lonely as well as (2) the social norm of and tolerance
139
for being alone.” I will later return in my findings to these statements as it remains
unclear for now to what extent contemporary individualism in Italy enables the social
production of loneliness (or prevents it) and to what extent Italy can be said to be
collectivist, or more collectivist, than the United Kingdom. However, Swader further
found that “[...] those in the most collectivist societies have 96% greater calculated odds of
140
experiencing loneliness compared to those in most individualist societies.” In a more
collectivist country, the conditions for loneliness to arise (or to be experienced) may
therefore perhaps be surprising: If one happens to feel lonely, such as when losing a family
member, a person may be less equipped to deal with these emotions alone.

It could be concluded that the more collectivistic a country, the more social capital. It
could however also be concluded that the fact that in individualist societies people
voluntarily form groups and given their social network is much of their choice, the higher
the quality, not the quantity, of their social capital. However, there is to my knowledge no
general or clear answer to the question of which culture predicts higher levels of
141
loneliness. Barreto et. al. found “[...] found that loneliness increased with individualism.”
On the other hand, Lykes and Kemmelmeier “[...] showed that having a confidant was
142
more strongly linked to lower levels of loneliness in highly individualistic societies.” but
also concluded that “ [...] it is always possible that the meaning of the term loneliness
143
differs slightly between languages and cultures.” Further, Heu, van Zomeren and Hansen

137
Jüri Allik and Anu Realo. “Individualism - Collectivism and Social Capital”. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, Vol. 35
No. 1 (2004): 35
138
Ibid. 44
139
Christopher Swader. “Loneliness in Europe: Personal and Societal Individualism-Collectivism and Their Connection to
Social Isolation”. Social Forces Vol. 97 No. 1. (2019): 6
140
Ibid: 4
141
Manuela Barreto, et. al. “Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness”. Personality
and Individual Differences Vol. 169. (2021): 4
142
Valerie Lykes and Markus Kemmelmeier. “What Predicts Loneliness? Cultural Difference Between Individualistic and
Collectivistic Societies in Europe”. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology Vol. 45 No. 3, (2015): 484
143
Ibid: 486
 56

states that “[a]lthough loneliness was higher among individuals who lived alone and had
weaker community bonds, average loneliness was higher in regions with low shares of
144
individuals living alone and stronger community bonds.” Compared with individualistic
societies, in collectivistic societies residents seem to pay closer attention to familial
relationships and caring interpersonal bonds [...]. To the extent that such rich, personal
and familial relationships are lacking, individuals in collectivistic societies are more likely
145
to feel lonely.” In short: Individuals in a collectivist country may have a higher chance to
fall out of a social network if their interests, identity or general view on life does not
match the one from their close social peer groups, but individuals in individualistic
societies are more dependent on a certain kind of social life (and as stated earlier, external
confirmation of themselves by others), so that its absence may similarly cause loneliness.
Lykes and Kemmelmeier further state: “We argued that personal choice and autonomy,
two of the defining characteristics of individualism, would be of central importance to
people in individualistic societies. By choosing their friends, these individuals affirm their
personal identity as different and unique from others, and by expressing their personal
146
preferences through their interaction they feel less lonely.” Hence there may be different
reasons to experience loneliness and a different quality to the experience of loneliness.

It may be naive to a priori identify any of the countries (or cities) in this research as
individualistic or collectivistic; thus, I analyse both cultural types here at length, so to be
able to understand each person’s experience of loneliness in a more thorough manner,
such as why deficient contact to one’s family is someone’s source of loneliness and another
person in a seemingly similar situation does not suffer from such instance to the same
degree. However generally, it seems applicable to my research when choosing friends on
the basis of personal interest autonomously, may create more responsibility to the
individual to buffer oneself against loneliness; but once achieved, creates a stronger buffer
against loneliness. Interestingly enough, the description of the evolution of a social
network in individualistic countries is very similar to how one could describe loneliness,
namely as a search for the right social connections. It may be therefore possible to think
that loneliness is not only a temporary period caused by social misfortune but simply the
process of exploring one’s identity in relation to the social environment in an individualist

144
Luzia Heu, Martijn van Zomeren and Nina Hansen. “Lonely Alone or Lonely Together? A Cultural-Psychological
Examination of Individualism–Collectivism and Loneliness in Five European Countries”. Personality and Social Psychology
Bulletin Vol. 45 No.5. (2019): 788
145
Valerie Lykes and Markus Kemmelmeier. “What Predicts Loneliness? Cultural Difference Between Individualistic and
Collectivistic Societies in Europe”. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology Vol. 45 No. 3, (2015): 484
146
Ibid.
 57

culture. Hereby, loneliness itself bears the capacity to make the distinction between
individualist and collectivist somewhat obsolete, as it is both self-focused and
other-focused in its emotional range: “Not surprisingly, the emotions of collectivists tend
to be other-focused [...] and of short duration [...]. The emotions of individualists are
147
ego-focused.”

A Livable City is not a Lonely City

In this chapter, I will shed light on the relevance of cities, as a geographical, social
and spatial context in a postmodern condition. First of all: Statistical forecasts predict that
148
68% of the world’s population will live in cities by 2050. As the world becomes more
urbanised and cities grow continuously, cities and their administration are at the forefront
of facing the challenges of the future, so, for example, ensuring an ecological and
sustainable life or providing possibilities for its inhabitants for physical and emotional
safety. Louis Wirth in his famous text Urbanism as a way of life from 1938 states:
“Urbanisation no longer denotes merely the process by which persons are attracted to a
place called the city and incorporated into its system of life. It refers also to that
cumulative accentuation of the characteristics distinctive of the mode of life which is
associated with the growth of cities, and finally to the changes in the direction of modes of
life recognized as urban which are apparent among people, [...] who have come under the
spell of the influences which the city exerts by virtue of the power of its institutions and
149
personalities operating through the means of communication and transportation.”
However, as cities grow, more research is done on what it actually means for a person’s
mental health to live in a city - with a clear outcome: “Cities are associated with higher
rates of most mental health problems compared to rural areas: an almost 40% higher risk
of depression, over 20% more anxiety, and double the risk of schizophrenia, in addition to
150151
more loneliness, isolation and stress.” Many more studies like that can be found but
my point to make is here that with growth, there are new social challenges, for example

147
Harry Triandis. “Individualism and Collectivism”. (Boulder, Westview Press, 1995): 71-72
148
Department of Economic and Social Affairs. United Nations. “68% of the world population projected to live in urban
areas by 2050”. (May 2018). (accessed: May 7th 2020).
https://www.un.org/development/desa/en/news/population/2018-revision-of-world-urbanization-prospects.html
149
Louis Wirth. “Urbanism as a way of life”. American Journal of Sociology, Vol. 44, No. 1. (1938): 5
150
The Centre for Urban Design and Mental Health. “How The City Affects Mental Health”. ([no date]). (accessed: 08.04.2022).
https://www.urbandesignmentalhealth.com/how-the-city-affects-mental-health.html
151
Jaap Peen, Robert Schoevers, A. Beekman, Jack Dekker. “The current status of urban–rural differences in psychiatric
disorders”. Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica. Vol. 121 No. 2. (2009) cited in The Centre for Urban Design and Mental Health.
“How The City Affects Mental Health”. ([no date]). (accessed: 08.04.2022).
https://www.urbandesignmentalhealth.com/how-the-city-affects-mental-health.html
 58

for urban planners and policymakers. Interestingly enough, the Covid-19 pandemic has
accelerated this process (of rethinking the city) massively, so for example in Milan: new
bicycle paths, more sidewalks, and greenery - comprised in the plan of the 15-minute city
where within 15 minutes every service needed could be reached by walking as opposed to
152
a transit and transport-oriented city. In addition, one may wonder how the
incorporation of loneliness into urban planning could be implemented, adding the idea of
an emotional city (as in like planning with emotions in mind) to the idea of a sustainable or
walkable city. One framework may come from Per Gustafson, who developed the idea of
places as roots and places as routes: “Within the roots theme, place is primarily regarded as a
source of place attachment, emotional bonds, and community. The most important place
is one’s “home place” - residence, [neighbourhood], and hometown in particular but, to
some extent, also the home region and home country. [...] The routes theme, on the other
hand, focuses on mobility, on [travelling], on discovering and exploring new places and
different cultures. Here, respondents expressed a desire to ‘get out and obtain new
experiences,’ to ‘see your life from another perspective,’ to try out something new, to find
153
new ways of thinking, and to learn.” Given that many of my respondents experienced
loneliness as a consequence of having moved, the usage of places as routes, so for example
Milan to study or work but similarly an understanding of needing places as roots, as a
place to feel at home or that reminds of one’s origin, can be a helpful framework. It is
therefore perhaps important to allow for new socio-spatial experiences that are accessible
and affordable but similarly to allow to build an intimate connection to urban space, such
might be achieved within the 15-minute city that operates mostly on a neighbourhood
scale. Whereas Simmel may have conceived the city as an anonymous megapolis,
connecting the idea of intimacy and urban spaces can be one way for taking-in-account
loneliness as a planning tool.

154
However, as stated earlier, “[...] loneliness shows itself the sharpest amongst others.”
This does not mean that the more others, the more loneliness is palpable and present. Rather,
the city is seen as a space of convergence and segregation, of in and out, of empty side
streets and full boulevards. As Park beautifully illustrates, in line with Norbert Elias' idea
of an Invisible Wall: “The processes of segregation [of social classes] establish moral
distances which make the city a mosaic of little worlds which touch but do not

152
Lamia Abdelfattah, Diego Deponte, Giovanna Fossa. “The 15-minute city: interpreting the model to bring out urban
resiliencies” Transportation Research Procedia Vol. 60. (2022).
153
Per Gustafson. “Roots and Routes: Exploring the Relationship Between Place Attachment and Mobility”. Environment and
Behaviour Vol. 33 No. 5. (2001): 672-673
154
Hannah Arendt. “The Origins of Totalitarianism”. (Cleveland, The World Publishing Company, 1951): 476
 59

155
interpenetrate.” In many urban spaces, people exist in close proximity without
necessarily ‘interpenetrating’ their worlds. Such issues of crowds or overcrowding have
been researched regarding loneliness. Hammoud et. al. found in a study of crowding in the
United Kingdom: “Loneliness shows spatial variation. This indicates that it is a dynamic
rather than a static concept and that it can change in relation to the environment. [...] The
feeling of loneliness is increased by overcrowding and population density and decreased
156
by perceived social inclusivity and contact with nature.” Further, I found support for
that statement in my research, so one respondent from Milan said that “[...] if it's a big
crowd you are feeling very alone and this is a very desperate situation because it is even worse. I
mean if you feel alone but you are in the mountains and there are only 100 people it's OK to feel
157
alone.” One may therefore make the conclusion that lonely people may avoid
overcrowded spaces, o en retreating to their private domestic spaces. This in return
makes the hypothesis that only non-lonely people going and being outside, are able to
endure the social pressure associated with and imposed by crowds, pushing loneliness to
the edge of life, socially and spatially. However, whether overcrowding may lead to an
increased need to withdraw to private spaces or whether perhaps some lonely people may
also flourish in crowds, such as for example conceptualised in the figure of the Flaneur
developed by Walter Benjamin and Charles Baudelaire, remains unclear: “He has
associated with the crowd, disappeared in the crowd, fed by the crowd. But he is alone on
158
his own; because at the same time, he knits his own individual world.”

There are some additional factors to take into consideration when talking about the role
159
of contemporary cities in the experience of loneliness. First, despite living in a city may
mean being part of a ‘mosaic of little worlds’ that touch but do not interpenetrate,
according to Putnam, people realise that [...] despite being autonomous and independent,
160
[...] they will not benefit individually unless they pursue their goals collectively.” The city
itself may be understood as such a collective agreement, where people help, hinder,
support and allow one another to pursue their individual and collective goals. Supporting

155
Robert E. Park and Ernest W. Burgess. “The City- Suggestions for Investigation of Human Behavior in the Urban
Environment.” (Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1925): 40
156
Ryan Hammoud, et. al. “Lonely in a crowd: investigating the association between overcrowding and loneliness using
smartphone technologies.” Scientific Report Vol. 1. (2021). https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-021-03398-2
157
Interview. Milan. (November 2020).
158
Alver Köksal. “Flaneur: A Modern Urban Figure.” Akademik İncelemeler Dergisi (Journal of Academic Inquiries) Volume
7. (2012): 285
159
Published article here: https://nextcity.org/urbanist-news/making-space-for-loneliness-in-our-cities-design-research
160
Robert Putnam. “Bowling alone: The collapse and revival of American community”. (New York, Simon and Schuster,
2000) cited in Jüri Allik and Anu Realo. “Individualism - Collectivism and Social Capital”. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology,
Vol. 35 No. 1 (2004): 45
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the pursuit of individual and collective goals, there are various spaces in the city, so as
example co-working spaces. One may say that such spaces are in themselves a testimony
of a new need for social connection (amongst the creative class for example) caused by the
frustration of being (locked) alone in a home office and a focus on happiness and
well-being. WeWork, one of the leading global companies, states: “If you make a workplace
safe and [prioritise] employees’ overall health, you impact people’s work performance and
161
their mental health, creating a positive loop.” One author in an article in the Harvard
Business Review even titled “Coworking Is Not About Workspace — It’s About Feeling Less
Lonely.” concluded that “83% [of people from a Co-Working Space member survey] report
162
that they are less lonely since joining a coworking space.” Whether or not that is
generally true remains questionable, but it illustrates how the city is partly understood as
the space, where many people want to reach their individual goals, but understand that
that can only be done successfully - meaning in terms of actual outcome but also with
regard to being mentally healthy - if done mutually and together.

Next, I will reflect on the meaning of global and local in the context of loneliness and
urban spaces. Franciscu, in her paper Glocalcities. Spaces and subjectivities in contemporary
world writes: “If we regard cities as a device in which the global and the local intersect and
reproduce at any level, then urban space becomes both a space of proliferation of
conflicting subjectivities and a continuous imperfect synthesis of the world. [...] At a
profound level, therefore, where space and community intersect, the city generates a
feeling and has its own poetry. Which requires us to be able to listen to and comply with
163
it.” Regarding loneliness, the idea of glocal may indicate that loneliness is to some extent
local for the individual experiencing it. It may not result from what happens in another
city or within another society (with exceptions). But it is also a global experience in the
sense of it being a universal feeling (although with cultural differences). But loneliness is
further global as the cultural differences in perceiving and feeling lonely are perhaps not
as different overall; in fact, loneliness has similar characteristics everywhere, as Heu et. al.
research findings “[...] suggests that loneliness is comparable across cultures with different
levels of social embeddedness. This is encouraging for cross-cultural research about
loneliness, yet counter to the notion that such different cultures cause qualitative

161
Delesia Watson. WeWork. “Prioritizing mental health in the new world of work”. (May 2021). (accessed: 08.04.2022).
https://www.wework.com/ideas/research-insights/expert-insights/prioritizing-mental-health-in-the-new-world-of-work
162
Steve King, Harvard Business Review. “Coworking Is Not About Workspace — It’s About Feeling Less Lonely.” (December 2017).
(accessed: 08.04.2022). https://hbr.org/2017/12/coworking-is-not-about-workspace-its-about-feeling-less-lonely
163
Sedda Franciscu. “Glocalcities. Spaces and subjectivities in contemporary world.” Image and essence. Humanitarian aspects.
Vol. 45 No. 1. (2021): 49-51
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164
differences in the phenomenon itself.” Further, loneliness is again local in the sense that
it happens within one’s body so that one’s daily narrative is influenced by the experience.
One cannot simply decide to not be lonely and thus this very private, or
local-to-the-body-and-mind-feeling is transported and exhibited in some way or other
everywhere one goes. The lonely person, therefore, exhibits the atmospheric quality of
loneliness to the socio-spatial surroundings. To further use local spaces as a buffer against
loneliness, people may seek out similar spatial qualities to spaces they have a positive
association with, such as explained by this respondent from Milan describing similarities
with the hometown: “I was in a small village….I mean for me it is a village because it is smaller
than [...] Milan but I was there for one year and I had that cosy feeling again of being in a familiar
environment [like in the hometown] because you know the people and it was a bit of a nest feeling
165
again.” On the other hand, loneliness is beyond the local realm as it may redirect the
focus of a person to the sky and the universe, whose massiveness may help to make one’s
problems seem smaller or offer some rest, as stated by this respondent from Milan: “I
actually like a lot to go to Gae Aulenti because at least there is a little part of the city where I can
see in the sky. Mostly here in the city you can't see the sky, everything is full of buildings so yes I
166
really miss these open spaces in Milan.”

The last consideration about the city at this stage is its design for people coming or going
alone. Siláči and Vitková, in their paper Public Spaces as the Reflection of Society and its
Culture state: “There is a correlation between urban space and society. Different types of
urban spaces are associated with the specific activities of different social groups. Public
space unexploited and unused by people and space without a social destination o en
reflects its physical form. [Unorganised] transportation, parking and other physical
barriers reduce its usability and attractiveness. Human activities need quality and clearly
defined public space. The relationship between people and space can be defined by the
phrase: People create and co-create space while at the same time, the quality of the space
167
influences the character of people.” But where one may ask, is space for loneliness, or,
for that matter, space to be alone in the first place apart from one’s home? Infrastructure
to be alone and/or lonely is rare and this may contribute to the social stigma, as one that is
alone, is more visible in that sense - tables are for groups, and seats in the bus or metro are

164
Luzia Heu. “Loneliness across cultures with different levels of social embeddedness: A qualitative study”. Personal
Relationships, Vol, 28 No. 2, (2021): 20
165
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
166
Interview. Milan. (December 2020).
167
Ivan Siláči and Ľubica Vitková. “Public Spaces as the Reflection of Society and its Culture”. Series: Materials Science and
Engineering Vol. 245. (2017): 1
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for groups or couples. As the authors wrote, there is an influence from the space to our
character, probably meaning behaviour; and if there is no public space to be lonely (or be
comfortable and safe alone), and most public space is directed at interaction and
happiness, this in return may emphasise one’s loneliness even more by giving a person the
impression that there is no space for oneself, or to be in complete silence, or to cry openly
and without feeling observed.

Symbols of Loneliness

168
A symbol is “a sign, shape, or object that is used to represent something else.”
More generally, symbols in sociology, especially in this research, can be explained as
follows: ”Indeed, every known society offers its members a host of stories and symbols
that can be used to forestall and sometimes avoid confrontation with the ultimate realities
169
of human existence.” In this thesis and this chapter especially I follow an approach to
the research described by Schwalbe in a paper called Goffman Against Postmodernism:
Emotion and the Reality of the Self: “But all theories are created by people who are products
of particular times and places, and so all theories depend on the signs and symbols people
have available to create meanings. With this in mind, and knowing too that our unruly
selves generate the novel experiences about which we feel compelled to [theorise], we can
abandon the illusion that it is possible for us to discover and tell the one true story about
170
how the world works.” Further, Omojola states: “Most o en, when humans think, there
is a mental imagery that goes with that thinking. This is important in social cognition and
when stimuli are created via graphics and symbols, reactions from perceptions are more
significantly contrasted to when such stimuli don’t exist. The use of symbols to [analyse]
171
focus group perceptions is an extension of humanity's affinity to images.” However, the
search for symbols results further from the underlying symbolic interactionism, which is
part of phenomenology. Symbolic interactionism “[...] highlights the importance of
symbols as a means of communication, especially at the individual level, and focuses not

168
Cambridge Dictionary. “Symbol”. Cambridge: Cambridge University, Press. (accessed: 11.04.2022),
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/symbol
169
Tom Pyszczynski; Jeff Greenberg; Sander Koole and Sheldon Solomon. "Experimental Existential Psychology". Chapter
20 in Susan T. Fiske; Daniel T. Gilbert and Lindzey Garnder. "Handbook of Social Psychology." (John Wiley & Sons,
Hoboken, 2010): 724
170
Michael Schwable. “Goffman Against Postmodernism: Emotion and the Reality of the Self.” Symbolic Interaction. Vol. 16,
No. 4. (1993): 346
171
Oladokun Omojola. “Using Symbols and Shapes for Analysis in Small Focus Group Research”. The Qualitative Report Vol.
21 No. 5. (2016): 844
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172
only on the structure of social institutions but on their perception. Herbert Mead - one
of the pioneers of the symbolic interactionist methodology (and research generally) states
that “[...] the interactionist perspective focused on how gestures (words or [behaviours])
could operate as symbols for which people shared meanings. Such shared symbols allow
social actors to take the role of another person and to understand how other people were
experiencing the situation. The ability to think about social life with these symbols gives
people the capacity to anticipate how other actors are likely to respond to possible
173
actions. Hence, the interest in this part of the chapter is to understand in what way
loneliness is theorised, conceptualised or communicated through symbols - in literature,
art and by respondents.

There are symbols for various emotions and emotional experiences, such as a heart for
love or tears indicating sadness or disappointment, for example in the form of emojis in
daily web-based communication. Other symbols seem less direct, operating through
colours or certain fonts, for example in advertising or the interior of a restaurant that may
aim to spark joy or relaxation. Given the high amount of symbols existing in our everyday
lives, it seems almost surprising that no such clear symbols exist for loneliness - neither in
the form of an emoji, nor as a colour, nor in form of a simple sign such as the semicolon
174
used to express solidarity with depression. But as this Quora entry shows, there are
overlapping understandings of how a lonely person could be recognized and the actions
that make someone appear lonely. However, these ‘symbols’ are action-based and
descriptive rather than expressed through a few symbols. Nevertheless, I consult such a
popular platform here precisely because loneliness is experienced by many people and I
am interested to understand as many ways of conceptualization of loneliness as I can to
deliver a broader overview.

Part of the reason however for this ‘lack’ of a loneliness symbolism may be the complex
dynamic that is involved in the experience of it. Across organisations addressing
loneliness particularly and their logos (or symbols) used, there seem to be more generic

172
Michael Carter and Celene Fuller. “Symbols, Meaning, and Action: The Past, Present, and Future of Symbolic
Interactionism.” Current Sociology. La Sociologie Contemporaine Vol. 64 No. 6, (2016) in Mardon Austin, et. al., “Symbolic
Interactionism”. (Edmonton, Golden Meteorite Press, 2021): 21
173
Herbert Mead. “The Philosophy of the Act”. (Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1938) cited in Jan Stets and Jonathan
H. Turner, “Handbook of the Sociology of Emotions”. (New York, Springer, 2016): 180
174
See for example https://projectsemicolon.com/
 64

Figure 2: Quora. “What are some symbols for loneliness?”. (accessed: 11.04.2022).
https://www.quora.com/What-are-some-symbols-for-loneliness

depictions such as shaking hands, two-hugging people or interwoven circles, so for

example in a loneliness support hotline from the United Kingdom, indicating some form
175
of togetherness or the idea, that loneliness is a social problem. Further, loneliness may
o en be expressed through symbols of basic emotions such as sadness or simply by
displaying people alone - although, as stated earlier, these are two different conditions.
One may also start to look for metaphors as symbols, so for example also in the famous
poem Alone by Edgar Allan Poe.

Alone- Edgar Allan Poe

From childhood’s hour I have not been

As others were - I have not seen
As others saw - I could not bring
My passions from a common spring -
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow - I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone -
And all I lov’d - I lov’d alone -
Then - in my childhood - in the dawn

175
See https://www.supportline.org.uk/problems/loneliness/
 65

Of a most stormy life - was drawn

From ev’ry depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still -
From the torrent, or the fountain -
From the red cliff of the mountain -
From the sun that ’round me roll’d
In its autumn tint of gold -
From the lightning in the sky
As it pass’d me flying by -
From the thunder, and the storm -
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
176
Of a demon in my view -

Storms, autumn, lightning and demons - o en negatively connotated symbols - are used
here but I would argue that they are not exclusive to loneliness. The actual idea of
loneliness is conveyed through the idea of the exclusiveness of the experience and
difference from others - From childhood’s hour - I have not been As others were—I have not
seen - As others saw. It, therefore, remains rather descriptive and explanatory. Another
approach to understanding the cultural manifestation of loneliness through its symbols is
to use Google images. Such an approach can be of research interest because presumably, it
is where most of my respondents that choose to develop an understanding of (their own)
loneliness start:

176
Edgar Allan Poe. “Alone”. American Poetry: The Nineteenth Century. (1993) in Poetry Foundation, (accessed: 11.04.2022).
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46477/alone-56d2265f2667d
 66

Figure 3: Google. Loneliness. (accessed: 25.03.2022). https://www.google.it/search?q=loneliness

Interestingly enough, loneliness is depicted here through people that appear to be socially
isolated, o en in relation to street lights or night skies framed in black or white. One can
speculate based on these images, that lonely people may choose environments that fit
their moods and help them to concur or confront their emotions. Hence, lonely
individuals may choose environments that allow them to be lonely (and perhaps
thoughtful), for example, because of a scenic landscape and the absence of others as
opposed to environments that could change their mood for the ‘better’. Whether that is
true in this research will be discussed in PART III, when I come back to the analysis of
symbols used specifically by my respondents.

PART I
Literature Review: Loneliness as Sociological Research
 67

In the following, I will review relevant literature on loneliness. For one, I aim to
shed light on some of the dominant causes or themes, such as the hypothesis that social
177
media could cause loneliness. Further I hope to frame loneliness within its relevant
contexts, namely concerning the individual, the social and the environmental, that is the
spatial (as the physical environment but also as a socially constructed space) and the
cultural. Generally speaking, this research followed a sociological tradition, within which
thinkers such as Simmel and Durkheim were interested in the individual in the society,
better speaking: What could be learned about society by looking at its individuals rather than
communities, groups, organisations or institutions? Durkheim for example, following his
research about suicide, states: “Whenever society loses what it normally possesses -
whenever the individual disassociates himself from collective goals in order to seek only
his own interests - suicide increases. Man is the more vulnerable to self-destruction the
178
more he is detached from any collectivity, that is to say, the more he lives as an egoist.”
Further Durkheim states: “With the process of social development, as man masters and
humanises nature and thus increasingly delivers himself from subjection to the
vicissitudes of the material world, the declining strength of the conscience collective and
especially the demoralisation of industry itself open up the possibility of his subjection to
179
his own, uncontrolled, desires.” Durkheim calls the decay of collective goals and values
180
“[...] a state of anomie, [in which] man is not free, because he is not master of himself.”
This quote goes to illustrate, how the analysis of an individual in a social framework had
been of interest to sociologists for a long time and how perhaps also loneliness should be
analysed in such a context - one may call the emergence of loneliness a state of anomie,
within which the individual stops being assigned to either individual or collective values.

As I have previously defined loneliness and attempted to explain its origin historically as
well as reflecting on the current postmodern condition, it is now time to work out a more
thorough understanding. To start off, I invite the reader to think about loneliness based on
the following socio-ecological model that I have adopted and developed based on Tully et.
181
al. investigating the impact of urban regeneration on public health.

177
See for example Sherry Amatenstein. Psycom. “Not So Social Media: How Social Media Increases Loneliness.”
(November 2019). (accessed: 11.04.2022). https://www.psycom.net/how-social-media-increases-loneliness/
178
Anthony Giddens. “Emile Durkheim: Selected Writings: Introduction: Durkheim's writings in sociology and social
philosophy. (Cambridge, Cambridge University Press, 2010 [1972]): 27
179
Anthony Giddens. “Emile Durkheim: Selected Writings: Chapter 4, Moral obligation, duty and freedom, (Cambridge,
Cambridge University Press, 2010 [1972]): 114
180
Ibid.
181
Mark Tully, et. al. “Physical activity and the rejuvenation of Connswater (PARC study): Protocol for a natural experiment
investigating the impact of urban regeneration on public health”. BMC Public Health. Vol 13. (2013)
 68

Figure 4: Socio-ecological model adapted from Tully et. al. (2013)

There are various socio-ecological models in existence and commonly, researchers have
adapted such a model for their own studies. Such a model, developed by sociologists in the
1970s, lays out how, for example, individual or social behaviours or subjective health
perceptions form based on characteristics of individuals, communities, nations and levels
182
in between. It has to be said in reality, individual, social and spatial factors interfere in a
myriad of ways, as stated earlier, but to more thoroughly understand the different factors
at play, it is necessary to analyse them separately from one another.

Individual Factors
Age and Gender

As Lasgaard, Friis and Shevlin have argued in their study of Danish citizens,
loneliness dispersion takes a U-shape across age groups. It is the young until 30 and those
183
over 70 that experience severe symptoms more o en. Victor and Young found a similar
U-shape distribution of loneliness in their United Kingdom study as well in the analysis of
184
many other studies. Despite these studies, my personal impression has been that policy
and research targeting loneliness addressed most o en the elderly, so at least before the

182
Sabine Poux. The Borgen Project. “Socio-Ecological Model offers new Approach to Public Health”. (August 2017).
(accessed: 11.04. 2022). https://borgenproject.org/social-ecological-model/
183
Mathias Lasgaard, Karina Friis and Mark Shevlin. ‘‘Where are all the lonely people?’’. A population-based study of
high-risk groups across the lifespan”. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology. Vol. 51 (2016): 1374
184
Christina Victor and Keming Yang. “The Prevalence of Loneliness Among Adults: A Case Study of the United Kingdom”.
Journal of Psychology. Vol. 146. No. 1-2. (2012)
 69

185
Covid-19 pandemic. With the pandemic, that has changed, researchers and
policymakers understand that young adults experience loneliness similarly o en or more
o en than elderly people. But it is time to ask how to address the younger population, who
might be lonely for different reasons and in different ways.

Apart from age, differences in the experience of loneliness across genders seem marginal,
so according to the European Union Report, males and females experience similar levels
186
of loneliness. Other researchers found that females are experiencing higher levels of
187
loneliness. Again others have found that young males living in individualistic cultures
188
are experiencing the highest levels of loneliness. However, my interest is less in the
frequency, duration or prevalence, but in the experience. For this, I could not find a single
source that would have somewhat been related to my geographical research area of
respondents or their age. Instead, different studies show different results, hence I choose
to provide this quote from Ami Rokach, who explains the situation: “Despite the above, a
review of the literature indicated that the association between loneliness and gender is
inconclusive. [...] While loneliness is experienced by all who walk on this earth, the
literature is unequivocal as to how it is experienced by males and females. Loneliness is
expected to be influenced by early life experiences, experiences in adulthood, and by the
189
individual’s present situation.”

Character: Shyness and Social Anxiety

The relationship between shyness, social anxiety and loneliness is widely discussed
in the (psychological) literature. Jones, Briggs and Smith write: “At the conceptual level
loneliness and social anxiety appear closely related. Various definitions of both constructs
generally [emphasise] emotional distress resulting from subjective evaluations in socially
relevant situations. For example, shyness has been defined as discomfort and inhibition in
the presence of others, where these reactions derive directly from the social nature of the

185
See for example https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/loneliness-in-older-people/
186
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. “Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe. European
Union.” (2018): 4
187
Riccardo Pagan. “Gender and Age Differences in Loneliness: Evidence for People without and with Disabilities”.
International Journal of Environmental Research. Vol 17 No. 24. (2020): 4
188
Manuela Barreto, et. al. “Loneliness around the world: Age, gender, and cultural differences in loneliness”. Personality
and Individual Differences Vol. 169. (2021): 4
189
Ami Rokach. “The Effect of Gender and Culture on Loneliness: A Mini Review”. Emerging Science Journal. Vol. 2 No. 2. (2018): 60
 70

190
situation.” With regard to shyness, Cheek and Busch state: "[...] the shy students'
loneliness scores remained significantly higher than the unshy students' scores at the end
of the semester [...]. The characteristics that constitute the trait shyness (such as
inhibition, tension) impede successful social interactions that could serve to alleviate
191
loneliness.” There may be similarities between the two concepts of social anxiety and
shyness. However, both of them may not only be a cause of loneliness but loneliness again
may reinforce such character traits, as one American recovery centre for psychological
distress states on their website about social isolation: “Isolation is both a symptom and a
cause of social anxiety. Someone who feels intense anxiety about interactions with others
will avoid these encounters. And someone who spends time only in the company of
192
themselves and their worries will only provoke their anxiety further.” In the case of my
research, both shyness and social anxiety are connected to the changing life circumstances
for many of my respondents: “Many individuals live away from their parents for the first
time when they begin college. They are removed not only from the emotional support of
193
their families but from the security provided by familiar family routines.” “The difficulty
in rising to these challenges is even greater for shy and socially anxious individuals, who
may find themselves having to depend on their own social skills and ‘network building
strategies,’ perhaps for the first time in their lives. Thus, in addition to being mediated by
the match between desired and actual social contact, the degree of association between
social anxiety and loneliness may also depend upon the nature of the interpersonal
194
environment.” However, elsewhere it was pointed out that “[...] that shyness has positive
connotations that have been overlooked by most behavioural researchers. For example,
shy people are o en perceived as modest, self-controlled, and discreet, and not as
195
aggressive, bossy, egotistical, and loud.” The next part of this chapter of research

190
Warren Jones, Stephen Briggs and Thomas Smith. “Shyness: Conceptualization and measurement”. Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, Vol. 51. No. 3. (1986) cited in Harold Leitenberg. Handbook of Social and Evaluation Anxiety. (New
York, Springer, 1990): 259
191
Jonathan Cheek and Catherine Busch. “The influence of shyness on loneliness in a new situation.” Personality and Social
Psychology Bulletin Vol. 7 No. 4. (1981): 576
192
Laurel Nowak. Bridges to Recovery. “Can Isolation Cause Social Anxiety? How Treatment in Community Supports
Recovery”. (August 2018). (accessed: 11.04.2022).
https://www.bridgestorecovery.com/blog/can-isolation-cause-social-anxiety-how-treatment-in-community-supports-recovery/
193
Carolyn Cutrona. “Transition to college: Loneliness and the process of social adjustment”. (1982) Chapter 18 in Letitia
Anne Peplau and Daniel Pearlman. “Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and practice.” (New York, Wiley
Interscience, 1982): 291-292
194
Warren Jones, Stephen Briggs and Thomas Smith. “Shyness: Conceptualization and measurement”. Journal of Personality
and Social Psychology, Vol. 51. No. 3. (1986) cited in Harold Leitenberg. Handbook of Social and Evaluation Anxiety. (New
York, Springer, 1990): 262
195
Harrison Gough and Avril Thorne. “Positive, negative, and balanced shyness”. (1986) Chapter 16in Stephen Briggs,
Jonathan Cheek and Warren Jones. “Shyness: Perspectives on Research and Treatment” (New York, Springer, 1986) cited in
Ray Crozier. “Shyness: development, consolidation and change.” (New York, Routledge, 2000): 146
 71

considers shyness and internet use and its relation to loneliness and hence, I will move on
to social interactions and cultural variables.

Social and Cultural Factors

Loneliness and Internet

Laghi, Vitoroulis, Schneider and Koplan found in their study of adolescents in

Rome and Ottawa that “[s]hy adolescents did differ from their non-shy counterparts in the
reported content of their on-line (but not off-line) peer exchanges. Indeed, our findings
were indicative of a potentially maladaptive pattern of use of electronic communication
among shy adolescents. More specifically, when compared to other adolescents, a greater
proportion of shy youth’s communication involving negative feelings and events occurred
196
online.” In another study, Biolcati and Cani found that “[a]dolescents with high
loneliness levels use SNSs [Social Network Sites] for the same amount of time (weekly) as
others and have a high number of contacts online but they are nevertheless more
dissatisfied with their friendships probably because they perceive such relationships as
shallower. They encounter their friends less face-to-face, find it more difficult to relate in
person with friendships and tend to use SNSs to meet new friends. Loneliness seems to be
more related to dissatisfaction with the offline dimension of friendship and other
197
individual variables, on which the SNSs seem to have a little impact.”

However, on a more general level, technology seems to o en be seen as a panacea for any
kind of emotion, problem or caprice. Sociologist and psychologist Sherry Turkle writes:
“People are lonely. The network is seductive. But if we are always on, we may deny
198
ourselves the rewards of solitude.” Further, “[a]s we distribute ourselves, we may
abandon ourselves. Sometimes people experience no sense of having communicated a er
199
hours of connection.” For Turkle, as a sort of red line throughout her works, the
problems with digital technology seem quite clear: We expect a lot from it, using it, we
can have each other for an unlimited amount of time, we expect it to help us, to cure us,
we build robots to pet us and in the end, we unlearn what it means to talk, to think and

196
Fiorenzi Laghi, Irene Vitoroulis, Barry Howard Schneider and Robert Coplan. “Knowing when not to use the Internet:
Shyness and adolescents’ on-line and off-line interactions with friends”. Computers in Human Behavior Volume 29. No 1. (2013):
56
197
Roberta Biocati and Diana Cani. “Feeling alone among friends: Adolescence, social networks and loneliness”. Webology
Vol. 12 No. 2. (2015): 7
198
Sherry Turkle. “Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other”. (New York, Basic
Books, 2011): 3
199
Ibid: 11-12
 72

200
reflect and to be without this connection. Technology is not a downward spiral per sé,
but if we do not use it consciously, we find ourselves amidst a landscape of emotions
201202
shaped by technology, short: “We make our technologies, and they, in turn, shape us.”
203
Generation Y, or Millenials, grew into such technology from their birth. Some
congenitally while others started to use it in their youth. However, I do not have to look
further than my own friends, to see that some restrict themselves in the usage of social
media and others are permanently using it, not necessarily mindless scrolling but perhaps
even as means to get information. And “[...] loneliness”, as Charles Handy points out “can
204
just be an empty inbox on your phone.” While Turkle seems to warn more generally of a
technology overdose, De Blasio and Selva recognize the potential of digital media in
relation to migrants: “[s]uch technologies enhance both bonding social capital (in this
case, in-group social ties among migrants and among helpers) and bridging social capital,
by connecting such groups with others. However, such connections maintain their
looseness and do not necessarily coalesce into a collective political stance: their relevance
remains anchored to a pre-political phase, where emotions and culture constitute the
205
main drivers for the structuration of social ties, even in a highly technological world.”

Most people would probably agree that such technology (and social media specifically) has
positive and negative sides to it. However, it is relevant to understand these sides.
Generally speaking, technology is emotion-driven, especially social technology. At any
given moment in time, many individuals connect to online spaces when being alone
offline, for example when waiting for the bus, on the way to a friend and so on, seeking
206
some form of emotion, satisfaction or distraction. Technology in this sense is an
(emotional) extension of our lives and in fact, technology was always premised as an
207
extension of our human capabilities, as Logan stated. But the question becomes if it is an
extension of our capabilities, is it also an extension of our capability to feel lonely - does it amplify
the feeling? Are we more likely to get more lonely or less lonely if we use SNSs during the
experience of loneliness? The answer to many of these questions is most likely dependent on
the person in question. Generally, however, it seems that offline connections, thus social

200
Ibid.
201
Ibid: 17
202
Ibid: 19
203
BBC. “Meet the millennials: Who are Generation Y?”. (August 2017). (accessed: 11.04.2022). https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-41036361
204
Charles Handy. “The second curve: Thoughts on reinventing society”. (London: Random House Books, 2015): 208
205
Emiliana De Blasio and Donatella Selva. “Emotions in the Public Sphere: Networked Solidarity, Technology and Social Ties
cited in Bianca Fox. “Emotions and Loneliness in a Networked Society” (London, Palgrave Macmillan, 2019): 34
206
Sherry Turkle, Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, (New York, Basic
Books, 2011): 288
207
Robert Logan. “Understanding Humans: The Extensions of Digital Media”. Information Vol. 10, No. 304. (2019): 1-3
 73

connections that have an offline real-life dimension offer more social support, as Vergeer
and Pelzer point out: “The more time people spend on [socialising] with others offline, the
more they do so online. The larger the offline network size, the more social support people
perceive. The online social network size and the time people spend on [socialising] with
208
others online are unrelated to social support.” Based on this study from the Netherlands,
albeit already from 2009, one could hypothesise that for the social support received in
offline interactions, a lonely person may prefer these. Vergeer and Pelzer confirm that by
saying “[w]hereas the offline network capital seems capable of offering social support and
decreasing loneliness, online network capital seems to lack these benefits. This implies
209
that online social networks in general lack characteristics that offline networks have.“ I
will establish my own hypothesis later. For now, it is important to understand different
ways in which online and offline coping may be related to loneliness. Seepersad found in
his study “[...] that, le to their own devices, the Internet will not have a positive impact on
210
youth who are already ineffectively coping with their loneliness offline.” Additionally:
“Youth who avoid dealing with their loneliness problems offline also avoid dealing with it
211
online as well.”

The online-offline dichotomy and its relation to loneliness may change, so for example
during the Covid-19 pandemic when for many people, online became the only and main
way to socially connect. Boursier, Gioia, Musetti and Schimmenti, in a study of Italian
adults' social media use and loneliness and anxiety during the pandemic found “[...] that
perceived loneliness during COVID-19 pandemic was positively associated, both directly
and indirectly, with anxiety. Furthermore, increased feelings of loneliness and isolation
predicted high levels of both anxiety and excessive social media use [...]. Likely, the
facilitated and prolonged access to social media has been a common individual response
to stay connected during the quarantine, thus it is possible that people increasingly
engaged in social media in an attempt to face their perceived isolation, acting as
212
problematic users in this circumstance.” The pandemic has accelerated the amount and
type of internet use, reliance and dependency. Being socially connected was to be in touch

208
Maurice Vergeer and Ben Pelzer. “Consequences of media and Internet use for offline and online network capital and
well-being. A causal model approach.” Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication Vol. 15. (2009): 199
209
Ibid: 203-204
210
Sean Seepersad. “Coping with Loneliness: Adolescent Online and Offline Behavior”. Cyberpsychology & Behaviour Vol. 7,
No. 1. (2004): 39
211
Ibid: 38
212
Valentina Boursier, Francesca Gioia, Alessandro Musetti and Adriano Schimmenti. “Facing Loneliness and Anxiety
During the COVID-19 Isolation: The Role of Excessive Social Media Use in a Sample of Italian Adults”. Frontiers in
Psychiatry. (2020). https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2020.586222
 74

with friends, work and receive information about the spread of the Coronavirus. It
therefore may have also served as a coping strategy: “In the last several months, social
media use has been highly recommended to obtain health and safety information and
maintain social contacts in order to face the pandemic’s isolation. [...] Likely as a result of
the distressing situation, social media use has been suggested as a temporary means of
recovery from distress and as a coping strategy - which needs to be carefully managed - for
213
facing loneliness and negative emotions.” In fact, the impact of the pandemic along the
lines of loneliness (and mental health generally) is interesting as well and I want to report
from my own experience. In the outbreak, it was difficult to get information, as only a
couple of reliable sources published data and advice. Later on, when charts of infections
were published, there was a period of overload of information. A er the first wave was
gone but the pandemic was still ongoing, people - I am here talking about my friends, family,
etc. - were faced with new problems: Loneliness, social isolation, frustration and
boredom. Googling for the Coronavirus then soon delivered a list of what to do in case of
stress, anxiety, loneliness, displaying some basic behavioural patterns such as breathing,
meditating, calling friends etc. This frontpage-display is now gone again but information
on the mental challenges during the pandemic remains omnipresent a er a quick search
on Google.

Here, it is relevant to add a short paragraph concerning the quality of online encounters.
This paragraph could find its space later when reflecting more on the use of social media
for my participants, but as this was neither my focus nor did I yield much data in that
regard, I want to offer a few considerations here. Bizarri has worked through the idea of
embodied resonance during online therapy sessions. Using this as an example, valuable
questions are: How can trust between therapist and patient be built, when, behind the screen,
body language plays a less important role? What is the change of atmosphere in this therapeutic
space between therapist and patient? Bizarri states: “The major issue that emerged from the
interviews is what I call "embodied trust." This element represents an essential aspect of
the living space between therapist and patient and also helps establish that attention and
awareness of a vulnerability which calls to those who deal with psychopathology (but not
only). In fact, both clinicians and patients complain about losing or weakening a good
therapeutic alliance. The mediation of the screen, the impossibility of a holistic
perception of the other, the different settings, the feeling of intrusiveness, the intentional
attempts on the part of the therapist to be perceived as always focused, and the
consequent loss of spontaneity, all make very difficult to trust in the other and in the

213
Ibid.
 75

214
therapy itself.“ This research offers ground to believe that in certain situations, such as
online therapy, the relationship between loneliness and the internet (taken as such) is
complicated: On one hand, it offers the chance to continue therapy during
Covid-restrictions (or for people who do not leave the house for other reasons), on the
other hand, such online encounter may reinforce the feeling of loneliness by realising the
limits of that encounter. A quote taken from a therapist by Bizarri states: “If I meet a
patient who has a depressive experience there is a depressive field between us in which,
215
for example, there is an implicit spatial force that pulls down.” Such a depressive field -
or lonely field - probably disappears mostly through the screen, allowing the hypothesis
that loneliness is difficult to be talked about and has to be experienced and shared through
common experiences. Here again, such limits may be broken through technological
enhancement: A more embodied virtual space may allow for a social connection of higher
quality.

Loneliness and a Sense of Community

“Varied life-worlds find their expressions in cities and constitute spheres for social
relations and sociability. There is thus an immediate connection between the city, as a
socially produced space, including its built structures, its memorials, its commercial
infrastructures, its street corners and crossroads, and the spheres of social relations and
216
sociabilities developing there.” Prezza, Amici, Roberti and Tedeschi found in their study
of a sense of community in differently sized Italian cities that “[a]lthough we considered
Life Satisfaction and Loneliness as dependent variables in some of our statistical analyses,
we believe that the relationship between these variables and Sense of Community and
[Neighbourhood] Relations are more complex and not unidirectional. However, we would
like to underline the fact that, even though [Neighbourhood] is a stronger predictor of Sense
of Community, the latter helps in predicting both Loneliness and Life Satisfaction, even a er
217
accounting for the influence of [Neighbourhood] Relations.” The buffer against loneliness
a sense of community can provide seems very much dependent on the community in
question. Some of my respondents highlighted this aspect strongly and positively, others
expressed concerns about the community they are living in, in terms of the likelihood to

214
Valeria Bizarri. “Absent Bodies: Psychotherapeutic Challenges during COVID-19.” Psychopathology Vol. 55. (2022): 342
215
Ibid: 341
216
Talja Blokland. “The Public Life of Social Capital”. (2017), Chapter 30 in Suzanne Hall and Ricky Burdett. “ The SAGE
Handbook of the 21st Century City”. (New York, SAGE Publications, 2017): 558
217
Miretta Prezza, Matilde Amici, Tiziana Roberti and Gloria Tedeschi. “Sense of Community referred to the whole town:
Its relations with Neighboring, Loneliness, Life Satisfaction and Area of Residence.” Journal of Community Psychology Vol. 29
No. 1. (2001): 49
 76

talk to neighbours or perceived safety. It seems, again, difficult to make general claims
about the positive aspects of a community for someone that is lonely, but I want to
hypothesise that community and loneliness possibly interact in the following ways:
Someone may not experience loneliness due to the presence of such a community.
Someone may experience loneliness due to the absence of it. But first and foremost,
loneliness seems o en to come into existence if any disruptions such as moving to another
place occur. Blokland and Savage state: “An additional question is whether where one life
affects social capital to the extent that simply moving some place else would improve one’s
218
chances to build social capital.” However, earlier in the book Networked Urbanism, the
authors point out that “[...] we need to avoid seeing space in terms of it being a ‘container’
219
that can be filled with ‘more’ or ‘less’ social capital.” Thus, the perception and value of a
community is something that during the experience of loneliness starts to be present. A
lonely person may start to be more interested (or dependent) on available resources, so also
the community and neighbourhood as a socio-spatial environment: What and who is there
for me? Which aspects of my life demand a change? Can I express my loneliness in this community
freely without prejudices?

Co-Living

I have touched upon the idea of co-working earlier, so I will concentrate on

co-living here instead. Co-living is perhaps not necessarily new as a concept but may have
undergone a new demand. The co hereby is used “is used to form verbs or nouns that refer
220
to people sharing things or doing things together”. Hereby, co-living spaces deal with
the idea of third-places as meeting places, so that co-living residential units have common
areas where residents can gather, for example. Oldenburg, in his famous book The Great
Good Place, states that third places are “[...] places where individuals can go without aim or
arrangement and be greeted by people who know them and know how to enjoy a little
221
time off.” Further: “Where urban growth proceeds with no indigenous version of a
public gathering place proliferated along the way and integral in the lives of the people,
the promise of the city is denied. Without such places, the urban area fails to nourish the
kinds of relationships and the diversity of human contact that are the essence of the city.
222
Deprived of these settings, people remain lonely within their crowds.” Neither are

218
Talja Blokland and Mike Savage. “Networked Urbanism - Social Capital in the City”. (Aldershot, Ashgate, 2008): 85
219
Ibid: 8
220
Collins Dictionary. “Co.”. (accessed: 16.05.2022). https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/co
221
Ray Oldenburg. “The Great Good Place”. (New York, Da Capo Press, 1997 [1989]): 78
222
Ibid: 25
 77

third-places an absolute buffer against loneliness nor are they accessible to everyone
lonely for various reasons - such as financial resources or perhaps social anxiety.
Nevertheless, on the conceptual layer, third places rethink spaces in terms of what they
can provide for the individual and for the collective alike, their integration into housing
units may be of a different nature - for example allowing residents to organise and discuss
daily concerns or problems related to their living situation.

Some co-living concepts are around for a long time. In 1935, architect Sven Markelius
planned the Kollektivhus in Stockholm. Mainly, this house has a kindergarten and
223
collective kitchen - both demanding shared responsibility and mutual organising. A
similar idea sprang up even earlier in Moscow, where the Narkomfin building offered
about 50 living units composed of four buildings including a dining room, gym, solarium,
224
gardens, and daycare service. Further, similar ideas are realised in the Living Machine,
which is a house concept designed by famous architect Le Corbusier in that people never
actually have to leave the house, as all services needed for daily life are located there, thus
225
people would get to know one another by using these services. Here, the house, with all
its facilities, becomes a city and the inhabitants, in all their individuality, become familiar.
Whether this is advantageous or disadvantageous for some is open to interpretation, but
the very notion of the community kitchen - or food, as a means to connect - has never
really been extinguished. In 2018, Spanish Architect Anna Puigjaner published The
Kitchenless City which similarly describes the advantages of housing estates, built by her
226
architectural office MAIO, residing in Barcelona. The communal kitchen and eating can
bring people together, but is it really a defence against loneliness? It is easy to imagine that
sharing a living space with people that cause loneliness within oneself, may be an
additional challenge. A building community within which future tenants get together to
collectively design and build a house like nowadays o en done in Berlin may be the better
approach, rather than offering collective housing as standardised buildings to people
227
formerly unknown to one another. Additionally, the regulation of publicity and privacy
seems especially important and allowing people to regulate these social spheres
themselves can be essential to one’s well-being.

223
Marta Corubolo, Liat Rogel and Rossella Bearzatto. Housing Lab. “The Central Kitchen Idea”. (accessed:16.05.2022).,
https://housinglab.wordpress.com/2013/06/14/the-central-kitchen-idea/
224
Ibid.
225
Tanja Runow. Deutschlandfunk Kultur. “Erste “Wohnmaschine” in Marseille: Leben in Le Corbusiers Architekturikone”.
(August 2015). (accessed: 16.05.2022).
https://www.deutschlandfunkkultur.de/erste-wohnmaschine-in-marseille-leben-in-le-corbusiers-100.html
226
Anna Puigjaner. “The Kitchenless City”. (Puente Editores, 2018)
227
See for example: https://www.winfriedhaertel.de/information/overview/why_berlin_loves_/index_eng.html
 78

Privacy regulation and the means to express oneself individually and collectively by
adjusting the space are central topics for Space10, IKEA’s research unit. Space10 has a
project called Urban Village, in which residents are able to buy shares in the property,
228
when and if they want, meaning they could access ownership progressively. Everything
is flexible, everything is modular and everything is owned by someone from the
community to promote sharing and collective well-being. Homes can be swapped by
residents easily, the wooden structures can be assembled everywhere and a digital
229
application connects residents to their nearby facilities. It could be argued that this
could become a novel way of thinking about space in a sustainable manner; beyond
climate-neutrality and organic materials, sustainability means here to support a sense of
belonging that in return boosts individual and collective-well-being for the future. Carrere
et. al. conclude in their meta-study on cohousing: “The purpose of this study was to
examine all the known evidence on the relationship between communal living
arrangements characterised as cohousing and health and wellbeing. Our review indicates
that the cohousing model can be positively associated with health outcomes through
psychosocial determinants of health, such as increased social support, a sense of
community and physical, emotional and economic security, as well as reduced social
isolation. This association was more evident in cohousing models targeting the older
230
population.” Further research is needed and I hope that later, I can contribute to an
understanding of co-living and loneliness with my own findings.

Environmental and Spatial Factors

Social Policies

Policy recognition of loneliness has arrived in many cities and countries. Hong
Kong University has released a Say No to Loneliness-Project, in Australia a coalition to end
loneliness has formed, large-scale surveys measuring subjective feelings of loneliness have
been started in the United States, the government of the United Kingdom has famously
231
inaugurated a Minister of Loneliness in 2017, implementing a loneliness awareness week.

228
Space10. IKEA. “The Urban Village Project: A Vision for Liveable, Sustainable and Affordable Homes.” (accessed:
16.05.2022). https://space10.com/project/urban-village-project/
229
Ibid.
230
Juli Carrere, et. al. “The effects of cohousing model on people’s health and wellbeing: a scoping review.” Public Health
Reviews Vol. 41 No. 22. (2020): 23
231
Future Spaces Foundation. Make Architects. “Kinship in the City: Urban Loneliness and the Built Environment.”
(London, Future Spaces Foundation, 2019): 7
 79

232
Also in Italy, I could find a bottom-up initiative called Stop Solitudine. In 2019, the World
Economic Forum hosted a Panel, where loneliness has been discussed within the realms of
digital technology, fostering local communities and overall well-being - some panellists
233
arguing that loneliness might be a positive thing. The European Commission of the
European Union names loneliness an unequally shared burden in Europe, by being more
234
prevalent in Eastern and Southern countries than in Northern and Western countries.
Whereas recognition of loneliness as a health risk or ‘problem’ started before the
pandemic, the pandemic has accelerated the awareness and the taking-into-account of
loneliness onto broader political agendas, so also in Germany, where the minister of the
235
family launched a website in 2022 aiming to address loneliness. Indeed, all of those are
desirable steps in light of my research, but policies might be easily running the danger of
either over- or underestimating the issue. This is due to its subjectivity and the difficulty
of detecting loneliness. It is not by accident that statistical variables concerning loneliness
236
o en start with the term self-reported. This new awareness around loneliness invites
some people to think about the consequences for the future, for example, Masha Gessen
from the New Yorker: “I am much more worried about lonely educators and lonely
politicians, lonely writers and lonely economists, lonely architects and lonely filmmakers,
lonely [organisers] and lonely artists, and all the other lonely people whose job it is to
imagine the future. [...] When we should be thinking about an interconnected world and
shared resources, we hoard, individually and collectively, and reinforce the borders of the
237
nation-state.”

Living Alone

One of the more explored routes in loneliness research is the relationship of living
alone and loneliness. “Without family or homeland, man has returned to primitive

232
Stop Solitudine. (accessed: May 7th 2020.) http://www.stopsolitudine.com/stopsolitudine/
233
World Economic Forum. “Loneliness: An Epidemic.” (January 2019). (accessed: February 20th 2020)
https://www.weforum.org/open-forum/event_sessions/loneliness-an-epidemic
234
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe. European
Union. (2018): 2
235
Institut für Sozialarbeit und Sozialpädagogik e. V..Kompetenznetz Einsamkeit. (accessed: 12.02.2022).
https://kompetenznetz-einsamkeit.de/
236
See for example https://ourworldindata.org/grapher/self-reported-loneliness-older-adults
237
Masha Gessen. The New Yorker. “The Political Consequences of Loneliness and Isolation during the Pandemic”. (May
2020). (accessed: 12.04.2022),
https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/the-political-consequences-of-loneliness-and-isolation-during-the-pandemic
 80

238
solitude. The individual alone forms his whole society.” This is the description of a
self-reliant person, devoid of others. However, an individual alone forming his whole life
without the presence of others in any way seems difficult to imagine. It may nevertheless
be true that for people living alone, new challenges are emerging, that is, to avoid
becoming socially isolated. Sociologist Eric Klinenberg states: “The main reason that
there’s not enough affordable housing for people who live alone is that our metropolitan
areas weren’t built for them, and we’ve failed to redesign cities and suburbs to meet the
needs of a singleton society. Compact residential units in apartment buildings, not
single-family homes. Walkable and densely populated [neighbourhoods]. Proximity to a
range of commercial goods and services, attractive public spaces, and restaurants, bars,
and cafés where residents can meet. Good public transit. These are important for people
who live in all kinds of domestic arrangements, but they are especially important for those
who live alone because they are such heavy users of the places that support local social
239
life.” Infrastructure for people to live alone is essential to support this social trend (or
dynamic), but on the other hand, as Klinenberg acknowledges, there are challenges: “Some
of these challenges are pragmatic: Learning to shop and cook for one. Balancing solitude
and social life. Establishing a healthy relationship with communications media, from the
relatively passive consumption of television entertainment to more active engagements
through the telephone and Internet. Other challenges are more profound: Dealing with
240
loneliness. Confronting fear that living alone is a sign of social failure.” More and more
people may have such experiences of self-reliance and responsibility when deciding to live
alone. For example, in the ten years from 2010 to 2020, the number of
241
single-person-households increased by 20% in Europe.

Claude Fischer, in his famous book To dwell among friends, found that people living in the
242
city leave their homes more o en (than people in the countryside) to [socialise]. But on
the other hand, “[...] isolated respondents were just as likely to reside in less urban as in
243
more urban places. This challenges at least part of the lonely urbanite image [...].”

238
Giacomo Leopardi. “Zibaldone di pensieri.” (Milan, Mondadori, 2011) cited in Aurelio Musi. “Storia della Solitudine”.
(Vicenza, Nerri Pozza, 2021). (translated with DeepL): 109
239
Eric Klinenberg. “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone.” (New York, The Penguin
Press, 2012): 169
240
Ibid: 52
241
Eurostat. European Union. “Household composition statistics”. (2021). (accessed: 12.04.2022).
https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php?title=Household_composition_statistics#Increasing_number_of_
households_consisting_of_adults_living_alone
242
Claude S. Fischer. “To Dwell Among Friends: Personal Networks in Town and City”. (Chicago, University of Chicago
Press, 1948): 165
243
Ibid: 55
 81

Relying on Fischer and Klinenberg, one could construct an image of a single urban dweller
living alone who has a rich social life. Nevertheless, Keith Snell reminds that “[...] living
244
alone is almost always the strongest explanatory variable when analysing loneliness.”
Further: “It may be that the lonely live alone, or that living alone makes people lonely –
and one can qualify such connectivity in many obvious ways. Yet whatever the causal links
and undoubted exceptions this strong general association suggests a need for historical
245
amplification through studies of living alone.” For some people their living conditions
may be indeed the strongest explanation for their loneliness, perhaps as a lack of shared
intimacy.

Galčanová and Vacková have published a paper investigating the construction of domestic
space (and spatial identity) for people living alone in Czech. They state: “For many
participants, the dominant line of their narratives surpasses home as a private dwelling. It
is security embodied in social relations - it can be represented by employment as a
meaningful, fulfilling project; by a [neighbourhood], city or region, as well as a particular
place such as a local café or spaces that one can rely on; and last but not least, by wider
family and friends. The demanding and most ambiguous feature of the solo-living
246
experience connects with the spatial and temporal management of everyday solo-living.”
Further: “[...] the identities of some of our participants deeply require the public space of
[the neighbourhood] or café to be performed - and within the changing nature of most of
247
these places, a certain level of predictability and familiarity is crucial.” Spatial identities
on different scales and perceiving individual and social possibilities (for self-expression or
social connection) in the neighbourhood as a buffer against loneliness is also reflected
among my respondents, hence I will later come back to this matter. To conclude this part,
I would like to quote another paper by Eric Klinenberg. Klinenberg states: “One
possibility is that there is a causal link between living alone, being socially isolated, and
feeling lonely. But these are three distinct conditions, and experiencing one (living alone)
does not necessarily mean experiencing one or both of the others (being isolated or feeling
lonely). [...] Since individual, group, and [neighbourhood] conditions determine who is
248
living alone, policies for reducing social isolation should attend to each of these levels.”

244
Keith Snell. “The rise of living alone and loneliness in history”. Social History, Vol. 42 No. 1. (2017): 5
245
Keith Snell, The rise of living alone and loneliness in history in”. Social History, Vol. 42 No. 1, 2-28 (2017), 6
246
Lucie Galčanová and Barbora Vacková. “How to wind the clock of the day?”. Solo living phenomena and the various
stabilities of home. The Journal of Architecture, Design and Domestic Space. Vol. 13 No.3, (2016): 248
247
Ibid: 249
248
Eric Klinenberg. “Social Isolation, Loneliness and Living Alone: Identifying the Risks for Public Health”. The American
Journal of Public Health. Vol. 16 No. 5. (2016): 786-787
 82

Qualities of Space

Kevin Fitzpatrick and Mark LaGory write: “While comprehensive national

programs are critical to alleviating the health burden of the inner city, it seems clear that
they cannot succeed without simultaneously implementing comprehensive,
place-sensitive strategies for healthy communities. This requires the development of a
broad-based research agenda that fully explores the ecology of health in metropolitan
regions and that may lead to the development of a national policy that promotes the role
of the local context in determining the health and well-being of its residents. Place
matters for health, but the details of its significance for a healthy society are yet to be
249
determined. Urban sociology has a critical role to play in exploring this new frontier.” If
space matters for health, then one may ask what kind of space, or, what qualities a space
needs to have to be healthy. One of such answers may include acknowledging the
importance of third places, or, as Aelbrecht introduced, fourth places: “Instead of
confirming the failure of traditional public spaces, such as streets and squares in the city,
these findings suggest that we have to pay fresh attention to the existence of another
category of informal social settings alongside the three realms of social life - home, work
and ‘third places’. [...] While in ‘third places’ conversation is the primary activity, in ‘fourth
places’ it is all activities in-between necessary activities - ‘people-watching’, walking,
waiting and ‘killing time’.” But what distinguishes ‘fourth places’ the most are their
location and character. Their most distinct characteristic is their spatial, temporal and
managerial ‘inbetweenness’. They are not spatial or functionally distinct as are ‘third
places’- o en limited to the type of businesses such as cafés or shops - but rather the type
of spaces in-between definitions and functions - e.g. intermediate and le over spaces.
250
Their other key characteristic is publicness.” In my reading of fourth places, the concept
invites to think of the city in terms of the possibility of social interactions and solitude.
Rather than having a place-based approach, such as designing a square for social
interaction and solitude, the concept invites one to grasp the city as a whole, especially
including o en disregarded spaces in-between, spaces of transition and gaps and voids.
All of these spaces can be assets in people’s lives if they provide certain qualities.

Fundamentally, it is easy to imagine that one quality of a space, the more so if people
come alone, is that of safety. Cacioppo and Patrick state: “Do what you can to make the

249
Kevin Fitzpatrick and Mark LaGory. “Placing” Health in an Urban Sociology: Cities as Mosaics of Risk and Protection.
City & Community Vol. 2, No. 1. (2003): 44
250
Patricia Simões Aelbrecht. “‘Fourth places’: the contemporary public settings for informal social interaction among
strangers. Journal of Urban Design Vol. 21 No. 1. (2016): 132-134
 83

lonely person feel safe. [...] When we feel satisfied with our social connections, we feel
safe. When we feel safe, we can think more creatively. We also anticipate and more o en
251
experience positive emotions, [...].” Whereas safety (physically and mentally) is a
fundamental criterion for any given space, even beyond loneliness, different people
experiencing loneliness may be searching for different outcomes within such a safe space.
Ying, Canter and Haas found for example that “[g]oing alone may imply different meanings:
one indicates a sense of safety; the other means going alone to those places where you at
least would not feel lonelier. Nevertheless, the assumptions the participants hold during
their cognitive responses during sorting is that they were physically alone or emotionally
252
felt alone if they are in situations of feeling lonely. Feeling safe and not feeling lonelier
may be the main requirements for the provision of space for people experiencing
loneliness. If that is given, various activities are performed: “Some young adults prefer to
go to noisy places to fight loneliness, while others found comfort by sitting in a café to do
253
people watching.” However, Bergefurt et. al. found: “[...] To reduce loneliness and
increase life satisfaction of residents in a [neighbourhood], social cohesion should be
promoted. In socially cohesive [neighbourhoods], public spaces encourage residents to
meet [neighbours] and to have social interactions, thereby strengthening feelings of
attachment and social cohesion. Policymakers [and urban planners] should therefore strive
to create public spaces that are inviting, where people can meet with [neighbours] and feel
254
socially involved.”

Beyond possibilities for social interaction, green spaces and loneliness have been
researched: “Neighbourhoods with an abundance of street-tree canopy but no park or
nature reserve may provide similar levels of support for reducing the risk of loneliness.
Third, large quantities of discrete green space within close proximity to home may offer
opportunities for connection and solace for some people, but may also increase physical
isolation and a lack of felt safety if sparsely populated and poorly served by public
255
infrastructure.” Another Australian study concludes: “Concerning the relation between
green space and social contact, our results show that people with more green space in

251
John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection.” (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009): 223-245
252
Jing Jing, David Canter and Tigran Haas. “Conceptualizing Public Space Using a Multiple Sorting Task–Exploring the
Links between Loneliness and Public Space.” Urban Science Vol. 3 No. 107. (2016): 16
253
Ibid.
254
Lisanne Bergefurt, et. al. “Loneliness and Life Satisfaction Explained by Public-Space Use and Mobility Patterns.”
International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Vol. 16. (2019): 14. https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16214282
255
Thomas Astell-Burt, Hartig, Terry; Eckermann, Simon; Nieuwenhuijsen, Mark; McMunn, Anne; Frumkin, Howard;
Feng, Xiaoqi. “More green, less lonely? A longitudinal cohort study”. International Journal of Epidemiology. Volume 51. No. 1.
(2022): 107
 84

their living environment feel less lonely and experience less shortage of social support, but
they did not have more contact with neighbours or friends in the neighbourhood and they
did not receive more social support. This suggests that the relation between green space
and social contacts has more to do with the fact that green spaces can strengthen a sense
of community via place attachment and place identity of its residents, than with actual
256
contacts with neighbours.” Further, the Loneliness Lab, an organisation from London,
states “[...] that for many, particularly young people, identifying and overcoming loneliness
is as much about fully recognising and connecting with their own emotional needs as it is
about connecting with other people. Safe, accessible green space provides an important
opportunity for personal reflection and wellbeing, as do quiet, private indoor spaces and
257
spaces where people don’t feel judged when they are on their own.” Most of these
research findings are similarly reflected in my research but may be in themselves much
more diverse as I will explain later. Additionally, Gustaf Jackson from the Technical
University Del wrote a thesis called Alleviating Urban Loneliness - Designer’s Handbook in
2018 that draws conclusions from various literature sources (also used in this dissertation)
such as Cacioppo, Klinenberg and Gehl. I would like to display further suggestions from
that thesis, rather to display the various spatial ways of thinking about loneliness than to
claim these suggestions are helpful for everyone (or at all):

“Avoiding Over-Designed Space: Over-designed spaces deny their occupants the opportunity to
express their personal preferences, leaving them with the task of building a life amongst someone
else’s things.

Reduce Exposure: When you feel trapped and exposed you can feel incredibly lonely. Carefully
designed spaces of privacy are therefore essential for alleviating loneliness.

Increasing Control: An exercisable control over where, when and who you are interacting with
greatly reduces feelings of stress, crowding or the urge to withdraw.

Reduce vehicular traffic: Management of potential concerns. Improved air quality also improves
health, and calmer streets facilitate more helpful behaviour.

Opportunity to escape: The (feeling of) opportunity to escape can provide a huge source of relief.
Generally, when living above the street is lost.

256
Jolanda Maas, Sonja van Dillen; Robert Verheij and Peter Groenewegen. “Social contacts as a possible mechanism
behind the relation between green space and health”. Health & Place. Vol. 15. No. 21. (2009): 593
257
Bethan Harris and Esther Maughan McLachlan. The Loneliness Lab. “Using Design to Connect us.”. (2020): 6.
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5 71159fd59316a1cce9500/t/5fd7aca02b9b2c152d123276/1607970033593/LL_DESIGN_TO_CONNECT_REPORT.pdf
 85

Free Anonymity: The freedom to roam safely and anonymously in the presence of strangers.
258
[...]”

In short, there are many suggestions for how to improve the city as a built environment to
make it easier for lonely people to deal with loneliness. Some of these suggestions will be
later reflected in my own findings. However, to fully grasp a person’s relation to spaces,
especially when coping with loneliness, emotional factors have to be taken into account,
resulting from the feelings and expressions of people experiencing it. Lewicka points out
that “[...] there is a sad lack of theory that would connect people’s emotional bonds with
the physical side of places. [...] Kaplan postulated that in order to understand people’s
relations to places, one should consider more than economic factors and social relations,
because they explain a small portion of the variance of place attachment, and focus on the
‘intangibles’: physical features that make the environment easy to become attached
259260
to.” In line with that, cities around the world are typically ranked by what’s called
liveability - a term comprising various categories such as stability, health care provision,
education, infrastructure, culture and entertainment rather than their potential to buffer
261
loneliness, for example. Designing for people living increasingly individualised lives,
perhaps lonely lives, could become the challenge for the future and planners should keep
in mind that commonly, being social ensures safety and survival whereas now, design
should adapt to an individualised lifestyle that includes loneliness and being alone. On the
contrary, What's the world's loneliest city? asked Craille Gillies in an article in The Guardian:
“In Tokyo, you can rent a cuddle. Loneliness is a health issue in Manchester. And perhaps
nobody is as isolated as a migrant worker in Shenzhen. But can we really know what
262
makes a city lonely?” Thus, this thesis further invites one to take loneliness into account
when referring to livability and understand the city as a challenge and opportunity alike
for loneliness to unfold and to be dealt with by the individual experiencing it supported by

258
Gustaf Jackson. TU Del Architecture and the Built Environment. Alleviating urban loneliness: Devising a template for
the not-lonely neighbourhood”. (2018). https://repository.tudel .nl/islandora/object/uuid%3A026f23b4-a959-46b3-b912-406654903474
259
Maria Lewicka. “Place attachment: How far have we come in the last 40 years”. Journal of Environmental Psychology. Vol. 31
No. 3. (2011): 226
260
Stephen Kaplan. “Affect and cognition in the context of home: The quest for intangibles.” Population and Environment Vol.
7. (1984) cited in Maria Lewicka. “Place attachment: How far have we come in the last 40 years”. Journal of Environmental
Psychology. Vol. 31 No. 3. (2011): 226
261
Madeleine Keck. Global citizen. “These Are the World's Top 10 Most Liveable Cities in 2021”. (June 2021). (accessed:
13.04.2022). https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/worlds-top-10-most-liveable-cities-2021/
262
Craille Gillies. The Guardian. “What's the world's loneliest city?”. (April 2016). (accessed: 13.04.2022),
https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2016/apr/07/loneliest-city-in-world
 86

its policies, architecture and social life.

Virtual Space

I was hesitant to add this segment to this chapter for two reasons: First, it is
unclear in what way virtual space or meta-space will be developed and used and secondly,
I hereby do not want to confirm the idea of a direct correlation between loneliness and
technology. When I started this study, the idea of a metaverse or the idea of accessible
virtual space was less developed, thus again pushed by the Covid-19 pandemic and the
263
recent advance of Facebook’s metaverse. There is ground to believe that the metaverse
may seem attractive to some lonely people. For once, because the term originates from the
264
word meta and can thus roughly be translated as beyond universe. A certain affection
towards the universe, expressed by respondents looking at the sky, and the city from a
distance or using the term world when talking about themselves and their ‘experience’ -
I’m alone in this world - can be found. Whether or not this means that lonely people may
have a certain pre-disposition towards the exploration of alternative worlds such as the
metaverse remains unclear. Secondly, one may speculate, the metaverse may allow people
to be different selves, overcoming daily challenges with their virtual selves. Generally, the
metaverse can be defined as “a virtual-reality space in which users can interact with a
265
computer-generated environment and other users.” By consulting the literature
available, I would like to offer a few ideas of how the metaverse and loneliness might be
entangled. My general hypothesis, adopted from Maloney, goes as follows: “In conclusion,
it is [hypothesised] that through the metaverse users are potentially able to [fulfil] the core
needs [...] and have profound developmental experiences ranging from social experiences
and growth to well-being in a manner that is not adequately achieved, or afforded, in the
266
offline world.” “[...] Using such avatars, social VR [Virtual Reality] users can engage in
and enjoy real-life-like social activities such as walking in public spaces, playing a game,
watching a movie, playing or singing in a concert, and having a party in highly realistic
267
simulated 3D virtual environments.”

263
Peter Weber. The Week. “How Facebook's metaverse could change your life.” (November 2021) (accessed: 13.04.2022).
https://theweek.com/facebook/1007409/how-facebooks-metaverse-could-change-your-life
264
Merriam Webster. “What is the 'metaverse'?”. (October 2021). (accessed: 13.04.2022),
https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/meaning-of-metaverse
265
Lexico. “Metaverse”. (accessed: 13.04.2022). https://www.lexico.com/definition/metaverse
266
Divine Maloney. Clemson University Dissertation. “A Youthful Metaverse: Towards Designing Safe, Equitable, and Emotionally
Fulfilling Social Virtual Reality Spaces for Younger Users”. (2021): 10. https://tigerprints.clemson.edu/all_dissertations/2931/
267
Ibid: 11
 87

The question becomes, in what ways such a metaverse or virtual reality - or simply
cyberspace - could be helpful to lonely users? “The success of VR’s predecessors,
screen-based games and social virtual worlds also suggest these platforms could be
268
effective in alleviating social isolation and loneliness.” Unfortunately, there is not much
rigid research existing yet Han, Bergs and Moorhouse suggest: “Firstly, rather than
focusing on the negative impact of engagement with VR on the social skills of individuals
(e.g., lower interpersonal skills, increased feelings of loneliness and anxiety problems), we
argue that VR consumer experience escapes are not necessarily a solitary act. Rather, we
propose that such escapes can contribute to the development of virtual communities and
269
therefore enhance social capital.” However, on the other hand, “[...] attracting people
into the virtual environment could possibly limit the physical and interpersonal skills
necessary for maintaining a healthy and socially active lifestyle. Such limitations can o en
be found in addition to online games spending hours and days in the virtual world and
lack sufficient physical and social activity, resulting in lower interpersonal skills, social
270
anxiety, increased feelings of loneliness.” In paradoxical ways, people can be
increasingly mobile and socially connected in public spaces on a global scale, yet feel
isolated from community, family, and friends due to a lack of private places that bridge or
blend physical and virtual spaces. “Our lived spaces and practices are constantly being
shaped and reshaped by our need and desire for sociality as well as our desire for intimate
experiences. Our avatars will bring these needs and desires into the worlds they build or
encounter. The Immersive Internet will likely be both an intimate internet and an invasive
internet as ourselves, identities, feelings, emotions, and memories become entangled
online and in our avatars. [...] There is much promise in how the metaverse can help to
[harmonise] the tensions between the need for gemeinscha (community, family, and
271
private blended places) with Gesellscha (society and public blended spaces).” [...] “The
metaverse is an online space where communities form and gather to share ideas,
[socialise], create content, and develop a social identity that defines their [behaviours]
within the group. Extrapolating this notion of community and social identity, individuals
within the metaverse who join learning communities develop a social identity that
strengthens as they participate, explore, and learn, and these learning experiences are

268
Davis Calitz. “Finding healthcare support in online communities: an exploration of the evolution and efficacy of virtual
support groups.” Journal of Virtual Worlds Research. Vol. 7. No. 3. (2014) cited in Daniel Pimentel, Maxwell Foxman, Donna
Davis and David Markowitz. “Virtually Real, But Not Quite There: Social and Economic Barriers to Meeting Virtual
Reality’s True Potential for Mental Health.” Frontiers in Virtual Reality. (2021). https://doi.org/10.3389/frvir.2021.627059
269
Dai‐In Danny Han, Yoy Bergs and Natasha Moorhouse. “Virtual reality consumer experience escapes: preparing for the
metaverse”. Virtual Reality. (2022). 10. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10055-022-00641-7
270
Ibid.
271
Robin Teigland and Dominic Power. “The Immersive Internet”. (New York, Palgrave Macmillan, 2013): 4, 180
 88

272
enhanced by the opportunity to benefit from the community.”

I do not want to take the approach that is o en taken in debates about the potential
benefits of such technology, which presents it naively as limitless and socially inclusive.
The establishment of a metaverse provides unique challenges of accessibility for example
in terms of being able to use it, time, money and the ability to adjust to a digital
273
environment which may be easier for younger generations. It is difficult to imagine that
the trend that I have encountered amongst my respondents and friends, namely to take
breaks and off-time from social media would respark itself in the joy of replicating oneself
into the metaverse - or rather spending time in virtual reality. To some, living out personal
desires and needs - hopefully within a safe, accessible, affordable and protected virtual
space - may be helpful. Prevailing here is the idea of detachment: One may be able to
overcome social challenges virtually more easily than in the offline reality, as one is less
directly involved through one’s own body and actions might face less social stigma. One
may therefore practise, for example, going out alone or talking to a stranger in the
metaverse and learn from this for virtual reality for the offline world. All of this is future
talking, I hereby simply wanted to invite the reader to think about the metaverse.
Tendencies to support my thoughts can be found in my interviews, so I hereby want to
give a quick example taking from a respondent from Milan talking about his chatting to
another person: “...there was a different connection to this [person], we started to talk about
random stuff, completely no sense, where I was making up I was a communist Russian fighter
because her name was Russian and she was [...] from the Romanov [family] but we had this secret
274
relationship. So it was all a very fun way to meet and to start from there.” Here the idea of
being a different self to exercise personal desires in a more detached way than being
straight-up oneself can be seen.

Theoretical Framework: A Socio-Spatial Approach

Social Capital & Place Attachment: Two Notions to Explain the Experience of Loneliness

To my knowledge, there is no conclusive theory that explains the phenomenon of

loneliness. Henceforth, I was in need of a theoretical framework that would supply me
with ideas, thoughts and perhaps ways of thinking through the experience of loneliness.

272
Ibid: 182
273
See for example Kaitlin Ugolik Phillips. Metropolis. “Will the Metaverse be Accessible?”. (February 2022). (accessed:
17.05.2022). https://metropolismag.com/viewpoints/will-the-metaverse-be-accessible/
274
Interview. Milan. (November 2021)
 89

In this chapter I would like to display this theory - in fact, a combination of two theories
or ideas - that have been helpful in thinking through my research and analysing my
results. The sociospatial theory identified as useful to approach this research and analyse
the outcome is an integration of social capital and place attachment.

Social capital has been defined by Bourdieu as “[...] aggregate of the actual or potential
resources which are linked to possession of a durable network of more or less
275
[institutionalised] relationships of mutual acquaintance and recognition.” For Robert
Putnam social capital “[...] refers to connections among individuals - social networks and
276
the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness that arise from them.” James Coleman on
the other hand defines social capital “[...] by its function. It is not a single entity but a
variety of different entities, with two elements in common: they all consist of some aspect
of social structures, and they facilitate certain actions of actors-whether persons or
corporate actors-within the structure. Like other forms of capital, social capital is
productive, making possible the achievement of certain ends that in its absence would not
277
be possible.” Another important part of the definition of social capital is the two types
of interactions between people, namely bonding and bridging, or strong ties and weak
278279280
ties, or people to get by and people to get ahead. Two further ideas are worth to be
defined: The first one is trust. Putnam hereby distinguishes two types of trust: “Trust
embedded in personal relations that are strong, frequent, and nested in wider networks
are sometimes called ‘thick trust’. On the other hand, a thinner trust in the generalized
other, like your new acquaintance from the coffee shop, also rests implicitly on some
281
background of shared social networks and expectations of reciprocity.” Further, Putnam
adds a characterization of reciprocity that he borrows from political scientist Michael
Taylor: “Each individual act in a system of reciprocity is usually [characterised] by a
combination of what one might call short-term altruism and long-term self-interest: I help
you out now in the (possibly vague, uncertain, and uncalculating) expectation that you will
282
help me out in the future.” Further, social capital has been linked to better general

275
Pierre Bourdieu. “The Forms of Capital”. (1986). Chapter 1 in J. Richardson. “Handbook of Theory of Research for the
Sociology of Education. (Westport, Greenwood, 1986): 7
276
Robert Putnam. “Bowling Alone - The Collapse and Revival of American Community. (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2000): 19
277
James Coleman. “Social Capital in the Creation of Human Capital”. The American Journal of Sociology. Vol. 94. (1988): 98
278
Robert Putnam. “Bowling Alone - The Collapse and Revival of American Community. (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2000): 21
279
Ibid: 346
280
Rosemary Leonard and Jenny Onyx. “Networking Through Loose and Strong Ties: An Australian Qualitative Study in
Voluntas”. International Journal of Voluntary and Nonprofit Organizations. Vol. 14. No. 2. (2003): 200
281
Robert Putnam. “Bowling Alone - The Collapse and Revival of American Community. (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2000): 144
282
Michael Taylor. “Anarchy and Cooperation”. (New York, Wiley, 1976) cited inRobert Putnam. “Bowling Alone - The
Collapse and Revival of American Community. (New York, Simon & Schuster, 2000): 142
 90

283
health. Additionally, social capital has been found to reduce loneliness, however, to
284
different degrees across different age groups.

Engaging with loneliness via social capital is to ask about the composition of one’s social
capital when becoming lonely. As stated earlier, loneliness means per most definitions
having people around, but not being satisfied with those relationships. In social capital
terms this could mean having only people to get by but wanting people to get ahead; or
distrusting a close friend due to an event that occurred. Social capital hereby is a scaffold
when looking at the origins and the outcomes in the process of loneliness. To be precise:
Loneliness tells the person experiencing it something about his or her social and
emotional relations. One arrives at a position to question friendships or other
relationships with regard to one’s character, needs and desires. Thus, instead of simply
perceiving that something is wrong, most lonely people may actually analyse their
relationships closely, asking why they may be unhappy with certain friendships they have.
Henceforth, loneliness is a condition rooted in the actual resources one is having
285
compared to the desired resources. Who are my friends and what can they do for my life?
Can they encourage me to try something new or are they rooting and keeping me right where I am?
Moreover, it can be assumed that the composition of social capital will change when
overcoming loneliness. For example, in the process of loneliness, one has bonded with
new acquaintances or found a new job via a certain friend. The change loneliness implies
to one’s life will be reflected in one’s social capital, that is, lonely people may strive to seek
new social or emotional resources in their life. In the words of Perlman and Peplau, it is
important to pay “[...] attention to the levels of social contact that people need or desire as
an important set of conditions producing loneliness, whereas, all too o en, social
scientists have ignored this aspect of the problem and focused solely on the low levels of
286
social contact that people actually achieve.”

However, to explore the coping mechanisms with the loneliness of a person requires a
focus on the individual additionally to the social network and further, a
taking-into-account of the spatial dimension, that is, to explore the process which

283
Ayano Yamaguchi. “Influences of Social Capital on Health and Well-Being from Qualitative Approach”. Global Journal of
Health Science. Vol. 5. No. 5. (2013)
284
Fredrica Nyqvist, Christina Victor, Anna Forsman and Mima Cattan. “The association between social capital and loneliness
in different age groups: a population-based study in Western Finland”. BMC Public Health. Vol. 16 No. 542. (2016)
285
Excluding existential loneliness, which may not necessarily be tied to someone’s social and emotional resources in life
but may result from other, perhaps more early life experiences. See for example
https://www.intellectualtakeout.org/blog/5-differences-between-existential-loneliness-and-interpersonal-loneliness/
286
Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness”. (1981), Chapter 2 in Steve Duck
and Robin Gilmour. “Personal Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981): 32
 91

connects humans to spaces as a physical and social construct. Space itself is not irrelevant
to social capital, as Rutten, Westlund and Boekema write: “[...] the spatial dimension of
social capital seems to be a matter of the geography of human social networks. Since
humans are spatially sticky, even in the Internet era, so is the social capital that is
287
connected to their social networks.” Nevertheless, to establish a solid theoretical
framework, I sought to integrate a social theory with a more spatial theory. Hereby, I do
want to understand space as a multifold concept. For one as social space, for the other as
physical space: “For Bourdieu, physical and social space are closely related. He wrote in
Pascalian Meditations, ‘social space tends to be translated, with more or less distortion,
into physical space, in the form of a certain arrangement of agents and properties,’ and
288289
argued that physical space is ‘reified social space’.” For scholars of place attachment,
the notion of space seems to be exactly that, as Brandenburg and Carroll write, it “[...]
290
includes the physical setting, human activities, and social processes rooted in a setting.”
Further, Setha Low and Irwin Altman, two famous scholars of the concept of place
attachment, define place attachment generally as “[...] the bonding of people to places
291
[...].” Even more broadly speaking, according to the definition developed by Rollero and
De Piccoli, it is “[...] a multifaceted and complex phenomenon that incorporates different
aspects of people-place bonding and involves the interplay of affect and emotions,
292
knowledge and beliefs, and behaviours and actions in reference to a place.” Moreover,
Giuliani states: “[...] prolonged association between an individual and a place is widely
recognized as one of the distinctive features of attachment to place. As happens with
attachment to people, individuals may not be conscious of their attachment to place and
only become aware of it under particular circumstances, such as when the bond is
293294
threatened.” Generally speaking, as with social capital, there are many benefits to
people having place attachment, some of them identified by Leila Scannel and Robert
Gifford: “Apart from the possibility that places (social and physical) offer stress relief or

287
Roel Rutten, Hans Westlund Frans Boekema. “The Spatial Dimension of Social Capital”. European Planning Studies. Vol.
18. No. 6. (2010): 6
288
Deborah Reed-Danahay. “Bourdieu, Social Space, and Mobility”. (New York,Berghahn Books, 2019): 7
289
Pierre Bordieu. “Pascalian Meditations”. (Stanford, Stanford University Press, 2000)
290
Andrea Brandenburg and Matthew Carroll. “Your place or mine?”. The effect of place creation on environmental values and
landscape meanings. Society and Natural Resources. Vol. 8. No. 5. (1995) cited in Elisabeth Deanne Brocato. “Place attachment: An
investigation of environments and outcomes in a service context. (Arlington, University of Texas, 2006): 7
291
Irwin Altman and Setha Low. “Place Attachment”. (Plenum Press, New York and London, 1992): 2
292
Chiara Rollero and Norma De Piccoli. “Does place attachment affect social well-being?”. Revue européenne de psychologie
appliquée. Vol. 60 (2010): 234
293
Maria Giuliani. “Theory of Attachment and Place Attachment”, Chapter 5 in Mirilia Bonnes and Terrence Lee.
Psychological Theories for Environmental Issues. (Abingdon, Routledge, 2016): 155-156
294
Daniel Stokols and Sally Ann Shumaker. “The psychological context of residential mobility and well-being”. Journal of
Social Issues Vol. 38 No. 3. (1982)
 92

295
improve one’s general health, memory, etc.. places can strengthen social capital.”
Scannel and Gifford also established a tripartite model of place attachment, which
identifies people, places and the processes (emotional, social, political) connecting the two as
296
the base for place attachment. Hidalgo and Hernandez, in their study of place
attachment in Tenerife, found for example “[...] that place attachment develops to different
degrees towards places with different spatial ranges. In this work, we have analysed three
such ranges: house, neighbourhood, and city and two dimensions: social and physical. As
297
a general rule, people feel attached to these places, although not to the same degree [...].”
Further, “[...] social attachment is greater than physical attachment in all cases. [...] [W]e
have observed that besides social attachment, people feel attached to the physical
dimension of places. Without doubt, these two components of place attachment generally
come together, and become a general a¡ective feeling toward the place of residence, in its
298
physical as well as its social dimension.” My next concern will be to work towards an
integration of social capital and place attachment and regarding loneliness, to ask how
social and spatial resources change in the course of loneliness and what new social or
spatial attachments are sought for what qualities.

One possible connection between place attachment and social capital has been for
example identified by Mihaylov and Perkins. The authors state that having a lot of people
to get ahead - bridging social capital - one is likely to have a low attachment towards one's
local community. On the other hand, having a lot of people to get by - bonding social
299
capital - place attachment might be high as it means being with a local community.
Further, Schwarz et. al. state: “Feelings of attachment, belonging and collective identity
act as catalysts for the development of local social capital, community mobilisation and
citizen participation regarding their place, their territory. This can in turn help increase
300
community resilience.” Further: “When considering the insertion of humans in the
environment and the conformation of a territory, it becomes essential to take into account

295
Leila Scannell and Robert Gifford. “The experienced psychological benefits of place attachment. “Journal of
Environmental Psychology. Vol. 51. (2017): 257
296
Leila Scannell and Robert Gifford. “Defining place attachment: A tripartite organizing framework.” Journal of
Environmental Psychology Vol. 30 (2010): 1-10
297
Carmen Hidalgo and Bernardo Hernandez. “Place Attachment: Conceptual and Empirical Questions.” Journal of
Environmental Psychology Vol. 21. (2001): 279
298
Ibid.
299
Nikolay Mihaylov and Douglas Perkins. “Community Place Attachment and its Role in Social Capital Development”.
Chapter 5 in Lynne Manzo and Patrick Devine-Wright. “Place Attachment: Advances in Theory, Methods and Applications.
(Abingdon, Routledge, 2014): 70
300
Schwarz et. al. “Vulnerability and resilience of remote rural communities to shocks and global changes: Empirical
analysis from Solomon Islands”. Global Environmental Change. (2011) cited in Javier Escalera-Reyes. “Place Attachment,
Feeling of Belonging and Collective Identity in Socio-Ecological Systems: Study Case of Pegalajar (Andalusia-Spain)”.
Sustainability No. 12. (2020): 8
 93

the feelings manifested by individuals in relation to the environment in which they live
(with both its living and inert elements) and how said feelings (place attachment) affect
301
their environmental [behaviour].” I will explain this socio-spatial framework later in this
thesis more thoroughly, but for now, it is sufficient to say that social capital allows me to
analyse the type of social interactions and the composition of one’s relationships. In a
framework of place attachment, these social interactions (and expectations) become
rooted in space and my focus, therefore, shi s from investigating loneliness solely from a
social point of view towards considering the narratives of my respondents socio-spatially:
What draws a person to a particular space? How are one’s relationships rooted in space? In what
sense are hopes for social interactions connected to the choice of space? Further, social capital is
a sociological concept whereas place attachment finds its roots in psychology - two key
302
disciplines in this research. I hope therefore to have established a theoretical
underpinning that seeks to understand social interactions from a social and individual
point of view, rooted in space that is at the same time physical and social but also
imaginary, as I will explain later. Thus, instead of using the theory of social capital and
place attachment to describe loneliness as the lack of such relevant (or fulfilling)
socio-spatial environment, the study of loneliness is to ask how people, when experiencing
loneliness, seek out socio-spatial environments make them feel less lonely, frankly
speaking.

Conceptual Model

Establishing a model to think through the experiences of loneliness can be helpful.

Similar models have been developed by other researchers, for example by Kinser and Lyon
303
in a study of stress vulnerability, depression, and health outcomes in women. The
following model is the outcome of the literature review and my first engagements with the
topic. It has served me to structure my narrative interviews and integrate my socio-spatial
theory. To work through loneliness, a model displaying the process of loneliness first of all
as a simple process is essential and helps to entangle the o en complex and subjective
nature of the experience. It is further inspired by the work of Cacioppo, so for example in

301
Oladede Ogunseitan. “Topophilia and the quality of life. Environmental Health Perspectives. Vol. 13. No. 2. (2005) cited
in Javier Escalera-Reyes. “Place Attachment, Feeling of Belonging and Collective Identity in Socio-Ecological Systems:
Study Case of Pegalajar (Andalusia-Spain)”. Sustainability No. 12. (2020): 6
302
Place attachment seems to originate from attachment, developed by John Bowlby starting in the late 1960s onwards. The
psychologist defines attachment by the keywords proximity, safe harbour, secure base and separation distress. These terms
identify a process rather than a static state of being and explain how a child separates from its mother over time: See John
Bowlby. “Attachment and Loss Vol. 1”. (New York, Basic Books, 1969 [1982])
303
See for example Patricia Kinser and Debra Lyon. “A conceptual framework of stress vulnerability, depression, and health
outcomes in women: potential uses in research on complementary therapies for depression”. Brain and Behaviour. Vol. 4 No. 5.
(2014).
 94

the book Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection, where causes,
304
consequences and (health) outcomes of loneliness are discussed.

Figure 5: Own Work. Conceptual Model of Loneliness

To explain this model: First of all, it can be assumed that loneliness has causes, meaning
that it comes from one or more certain events in one’s life. There are situations when the
cause is not clear because they may be rooted in the childhood or the respondent may have
ignored the cause or is not willing to admit it, but generally speaking, some event must
have caused loneliness as otherwise, loneliness would not be regarded as experience or
phenomenon but as a given character trait or everyday feeling. It may be important to
mention that the notion of loneliness is similar to that of other emotions or emotional
experiences such as happiness, joy or sadness: None of these is a companion throughout
305
one’s life, at least for most people, and is thus connected to real-life events. I will give in
the next chapter examples of the potential causes. Next up is the experience,
identification, recognition or awareness of loneliness. This phase varies from person to
person. For some people, it may take days, weeks or months to identify themselves as
lonely, as loneliness, that is my own hypothesis, may show itself in the beginning as
sadness or frustration, thus as a more common or simple emotion. However, the person
experiences the emotion before it is identified, thus there is perhaps already coping
behaviour in place that seeks to escape the ‘sad’ feeling. In any case, at some point, the

304
John Cacioppo and William Patrick.. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009)
305
Hereby it can be assumed that all emotional experiences are reoccurring, so that someone may be lonely at various stages
of one’s life. However, the causes and the experience may, but not necessarily, vary.
 95

realisation may come that the dominant feeling is loneliness. The feeling may arise from
doing repeated activities that yield the same result but are connected to different
expectations. If a person meets with the same group of people to do the same activity, but
comes home and feels not satisfied, somewhat not reflected within the group, this person
may realise that the friends this person has may be a cause of loneliness. With this
realisation and identification of the emotion starts the experience: Based on the
knowledge that one feels lonely, one starts to explore this emotion and gets to know it,
may try to avoid or ignore it but eventually tries to cope with it. This process is different
for every person. Coping with it does not necessarily have to be a conscious effort, but can
also be more unconsciously saying yes or no to certain events, structuring one’s day based
on what one wants and needs. The overarching hypothesis of this research is that one has
to make a change in everyday life, as the current everyday life causes the o en painful
feeling of loneliness. By making this change, whether consciously or unconsciously, one
attempt to not be lonely anymore. It has to be said that many people may feel lonely but
have not identified this feeling and still cope with it - in such an instance, one goes
through a period of loneliness unknowingly, the possible danger is here abusive behaviour
aiming to [Minimise] Loneliness in the words of Perlman and Peplau.

In this conceptual model, it can also be seen that coping and the experience are connected
so that if one coping behaviour does not work, a new one will be applied. Further
noteworthy is the context of the model. First, the black outline represents the
socio-spatial environment within which the experience occurs. Then the grey frame
within which the actual model sits could be called the focused or condensed social
spatial-environment - not necessarily a tunnel vision but a focused and conscious effort to
feel better. As Cacioppo and Patrick remark: “Loneliness makes us less capable of
306
screening out distracting cultural ‘noise’ and focusing on what is truly important.” This
double-layered environment serves not only to illustrate how focused on the feeling of
loneliness many respondents may become, but also the fact that some experiences or
behaviours when lonely are unique, yet at the same time nesting within the existing reality
of people, in other words: One experiences loneliness socio-spatially additional to be
living in an existing socio-spatial reality. One is not detached from the surroundings and
one does not simply change all surroundings when feeling lonely, so for example no one
told me that he or she had changed all friends, partners, jobs and places at once, although
I would not exclude such behaviours. Thus, coping with loneliness is about making

306
John Cacioppo and William Patrick.. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009): 216
 96

smaller changes to one’s life, first of all analysing one’s current being in the world. In that
sense, everyone that feels lonely becomes a researcher of loneliness. That is because
loneliness requires understanding and being more analytical about one’s everyday life:
Where do I feel good? Whom would I like to see or meet? To whom can I open up about my
feelings? As one becomes a researcher, one may become one’s own therapist, listening and
exploring the slightest emotional changes, however each person to different intensities.
Other factors not being the main focus of the thesis that influence the recognition and
experience of loneliness are:

Financial Situation: Ability to spend time analysing oneself, as this may take one out of, in
capitalist terms, a production circle
Education: Capacity to self-evaluate, think, comprehend
Childhood: Early experiences of attachments, relationship to parents

All of these factors in some way or another influence where one lives, whom one meets
and so on. But this is not a study of the relation between one’s financial situation or
childhood in relation to loneliness. However, it could for example be argued that the
choice of socio-spatial surroundings is solely dependent on childhood memories, even
though this is to deny the existence of socialisation processes and social influences. It
could also be argued that even though financial resources have not been explored directly
in my interviews, they still may influence the activities of a person indirectly. So are all of
these factors influencing the coping behaviour of a person - some of them perhaps easier
to understand than others, so exploring how early childhood experiences influence one’s
experience of loneliness, or have determined it, requires a more psychoanalytic approach
that I am not trained to do.

Lastly, the outcome of loneliness: “Trying to ease the pain of loneliness and working to
satisfy our need to belong o en take precedence over other goals, leading people to
renounce immediate gratification and self-interest in order to find better and broader
307
long-term outcomes.” Almost no reliable literature can be found that would describe
more closely such better and broader long-term outcomes, thus I will rely mostly on a
hypothesis based on the assumption that loneliness is o en a physically painful process
(not necessarily a problem) and people do not want to be lonely, at least not for a

307
Ibid.
 97

prolonged period of time. Simply speaking, the outcome of a period of loneliness is to not
feel lonely anymore and to find oneself more distanced from the focused and condensed
socio-spatial context that one has been in when coping with and experiencing loneliness.
To gain an even better understanding, the basic conceptual model will be filled with what
is known from the literature.

Figure 6: Own Work. Conceptual Model of Loneliness with Theory

First up, causes for loneliness are replaced (or categorised) into social and emotional
308
causes - a common categorisation established by psychologist Robert Weiss in 1975.
This categorisation will be persistent throughout this thesis, however, I would like to
point out that it is not to be seen as a strict dichotomy - what social and emotional
depends on the individual and similarly, one can have causes within which the social and
emotional are hard to be distinguished. Here are some examples of social loneliness. To
enhance this list, I have looked at Loneliness in Europe, an organisation from the
309
Netherlands that states some of the common causes for loneliness:

- Moving to a new place not knowing anybody

- Major life incidents such as not matching one’s own expectations in university

308
Robert Weiss. “Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation”. (Cambridge, MIT Press, 1975)
309
Loneliness in Europe. “A Brief View on Loneliness”. (accessed: 15.04.2022). https://www.lonelinessineurope.eu/kopie-von-contact-2
 98

- Not having friends at work

- Difficulty coming out
- Not speaking the same language as others
- Having a very different cultural background
- Parenthood
- Being a victim of crime/abuse (and the connected stigma)

Social loneliness describes difficulties being oneself amongst others, in finding friends, in
feeling reflected in the conversation one has with others. Emotional loneliness can come
into existence following:

- Break-up in a relationship
- Loss of an important person in one’s life
- Being separated from a beloved one due to, for example, the pandemic
- Lovesickness

310
The causes are therefore social, emotional or both. Emotional loneliness is much more
concerned with one other significant person in one’s life and usually means loss of or loss
of access to that person. This differentiation social or emotional is not a differentiation
the person that feels lonely will necessarily use or think about. For this person, the
realisation or experience may just mean acknowledging that another person is missed or
that one cannot be oneself (or one’s true self) amongst certain others or in a certain
environment. So to speak, loneliness could therefore be described as not being able to be
oneself due to the absence of socio-spatial resources that would enable one to be that.
This statement builds on the premise that humans are social animals. In any case, once a
person realises their own loneliness - I feel lonely - Perlman and Peplau have identified
three coping mechanisms: Changing one‘s desired level of social contact (“people's expected
and desired levels for social relations tend to converge to their achieved level”); Achieving
higher levels of social contact (“making oneself more physically attractive, joining clubs,
initiating conversations with other people, deepening existing relationships and the like.);
[Minimising] loneliness (“lonely people can devalue social contact and [rationalise] their

310
Causes can be both: Lovesickness may, for example, be an emotional and social cause for loneliness alike: One does not only
miss this certain person as potential partner, but may also miss that certain person as relevant other, such as a friend.
 99

plight by saying that other objectives are more important, or by contending that loneliness
311312
is a ‘positive growth experience’). Other researchers, such as Ami Rokach identified
six different coping behaviours: 1. Reflection and acceptance, 2. Self-development and
understanding, 3. Social support network, 4. Distancing and Denial, 5. Religion and Faith, 6.
313
Increase Activity. To explain these, Rokach and Brock state: “[...] we divided the concept
of coping with loneliness into three clusters. The first, which could be termed Acceptance
and Resource Development, included Reflection and Acceptance, Self-Development and
Understanding, and Religion and Faith. The salient feature of this cluster is the person’s
increased awareness of thoughts and feelings, and at times, reflections on his or her
standing in the universe. [...] The second conceptual cluster, Building Social Bridges,
included Social Support Network and Increased Activity. Both of these factors [emphasise] an
intention and concerted effort to build social bridges through which a lonely individual
can reconnect to others.[...] Distancing and Denial, by itself, formed the third conceptual
cluster of dealing with loneliness by succumbing to loneliness anxiety-the inability to face
314
loneliness and the overwhelming need to deny it and avoid a full awareness of its pain.”
Whether or how these coping suggestions overlap with the ones identified by Perlman and
Peplau will be a later part of this dissertation, but for now, I will rely on the ‘wording’ of
Perlman and Peplau, as it is more broad, abstract and allows flexibility when approaching
this topic. Rokach’s and Brock’s suggestions, on the other hand, are precise and directly
rooted in respondents’ quotes, whereas Perlman and Peplau seem to have thought about
loneliness generally - such is my aim here in this part. To explain Perlman and Peplau’s
coping behaviours, I will provide real-life examples:

Changing one’s desired level of social contact

- Enjoying walks/rides alone

- Having learned to live without many others
- Being less strict about friends’ behaviour and deciding the importance of friendship
- Changing the definition of friendships
- Realising the smallness of oneself and one’s problems in relation to the size of universe

311
Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness” Chapter 2 in Steve Duck and
Robin Gilmour. “Personal Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981): 52 ff.
312
It is noteworthy that the wording of Perlman and Peplau might be understood as only related to social loneliness,
however that is not the case. The authors include social and emotional loneliness in their coping behaviours
313
Ami Rokach. “Strategies of Coping with Loneliness throughout the Lifespan. “ Current Psychology: Developmental -
Learning - Personality - Social Spring. Vol. 20, No. 1. (2001): 7
314
Ami Rokach and Heather Brock. “Coping with Loneliness.” The Journal of Psychology: Interdisciplinary and Applied Vol. 132
No. 1. (2010): 114
 100

Achieve higher level of social contact

- Calling people that disappeared already out of one’s life

- Going out more and being more open
- Joining clubs, events, groups

Minimizing loneliness

- Ignoring a break-up and focusing on work instead

- Drinking or doing overly much sport
- Reframing loneliness as a positive experience to cover up the negative effects

The outcome of the coping behaviours is in some way or another to not be lonely anymore.
By overcoming the experience of loneliness in a healthy way, one restores one’s
participation in society, becomes well-integrated with a social and/or emotional network
of people and has satisfaction with such and one’s position within it. In that sense,
loneliness almost puts oneself into perspective within the socio-spatial surroundings and
may help to achieve a more sustainable, self-reflective way of life participating in social
cohesion, and ensuring the own survival and the survival of others as social animals. The
concept of social cohesion regarding the outcome of loneliness is worth mentioning.
Fonseca, Lukosch and Brazier define social cohesion as follows: “The ongoing process of
developing well-being, sense of belonging, and voluntary social participation of the
members of society, while developing communities that tolerate and promote a
multiplicity of values and cultures, and granting at the same time equal rights and
315
opportunities in society.” Additionally, the World Health Organization, in a report called
Social cohesion for mental well-being among adolescents states: “To safeguard child and
adolescent mental well-being, it is important to create social environments that offer
protective factors for mental health and limit exposure to risk factors for mental disorders.
Good relationships in the home, school and neighbourhood play a part in ensuring that
316
young people can develop social competence and contribute to cohesive societies.”
Further: “Recurrent subjective health complaints were associated with students’ reports of
school-related stress, perceived psychosocial school environment index (student
autonomy, student support, teacher support, demands concerning school work), being a

315
Xavier Fonseca, Stephan Lukosch and Frances Brazier. “Social cohesion revisited: a new definition and how to
characterize it.” Innovation: The European Journal of Social Science Research. Vol. 32. No. 2. (2019): 246
316
World Health Organisation. Regional Office for Europe. “Social cohesion for mental well-being among adolescents”.
Copenhagen. (2008): 2
 101

317
victim of bullying and feeling lonely.” It can therefore be assumed that loneliness
provides a challenge to the social cohesion of any given society, although may in the future
ensure better social cohesion by pushing individuals to better or differently integrate
themselves.

A Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness

Here I would like to offer a general working description of loneliness based on the
previously mentioned theories, ideas and models. The idea of this chapter and the later
chapter called A Socio-Spatial Overview of Italy and Milan and the United Kingdom and
Manchester is to display the process of this research and to recap what I have carved out
and described loneliness so far in this thesis. This processual approach shall help to depict
my own understanding of loneliness and lay out the foundation for the later data analysis
and display of my findings.

Young adults feel lonely for various reasons, some of the reasons may be particular to this
age group, others may be shared across all age groups. It is either the quantity and/or the
quality of social interactions generally, but for young adults, I can hypothesise that
loneliness is more resulting from the quality - given that most of my respondents had
social interactions and relationships with others in their life. Generally, my respondents
followed a daily pattern of working or studying and leisure time, both being divided into
time alone or with others. For some, leisure and work are not two entirely distinct
concepts, especially when they also work in personally-fulfilling occupations. Despite
most lonely people having people in their life they can talk to and to some degree rely on
and trust, it needs one or more of these relationships to be not sufficient socially or
emotionally for loneliness to come into existence. Consequently, lonely people may
henceforth change the way they feel about these relationships and adjust their behaviour -
in the words of Cacioppo and Patrick: “Loneliness uniquely can cause us to overshoot, as
well as undershoot, the happy medium of well-regulated emotional balance. Making
matters even more difficult, when we feel lonely we feel less of the upli s that most people
318
feel simply from seeing others in happy circumstances.” Therefore, loneliness provides
an individual and social challenge to people’s lives and possibly, known behavioural
patterns and existing relationships are put under scrutiny.

317
Ibid: 92
318
John Cacioppo and William Patrick.. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009): 167
 102

Next, in this research I suggest the major hypothesis to take a wholesome approach to
loneliness, meaning that if a person is lonely, this person’s general attitude is influenced
by it. This means that a person cannot decide to be not lonely for a while as it is not a
319
personal decision but the result of a socio-spatial deficiency. This does not mean that
loneliness always feels the same - there can be moments of solitude, social isolation and
simple aloneness. There can also be the conscious act of trying to not appear lonely to
others, which, I presume, does not change the feeling for the person per sé and in fact,
may make it more painful over time. However, lonely people focus on their socio-spatial
environment, scrutinising its benefits, risks, advantages and challenges and thinking
about where they are located and where they want to be located socially. Cacioppo and
Patrick summarise as follows: “We need to remember not only the ways in which
loneliness heightens our threat surveillance and impairs our cognitive abilities but also
the ways in which the warmth of genuine connection frees our minds to focus on whatever
320
challenges lie before us.“ Further, as loneliness is generally present in a person
experiencing it, albeit to different degrees in different persons, I am especially interested
in public and semi-public spaces - public spaces meaning generally outside spaces and
semi-public spaces meaning libraries, bars, clubs, cafés etc. It is these socio-spatial
environments where lonely people get in contact with the world, its opportunities and
difficulties to exercise control and feel safe. Here are some examples of the potential
challenges and chances lonely people might face in a given socio-spatial environment.
Rather than this being a hypothesis, it serves as a thought catalogue and to sound out the
process diameters of loneliness.

- Different behaviour within and perception of crowds/groups of people

- Different attraction toward spaces that match one’s mood or that offer relaxation and ease
- Increased focus on oneself and one’s behaviour
- Focused search for new stimuli such as new people or new spaces - new experiences
- More self-awareness, feeling of exposure, careful in interactions or overly confident and bubbly

319
Keming Yang. “Loneliness - A Social Problem.” (Abingdon, Routledge, 2019): 3
320
John Cacioppo and William Patrick.. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009): 269
 103

These potential challenges can be looked at and explained from a socio-spatial perspective
using the theories of social capital and place attachment. Thus, here the same list is
explained along these lines:

Different behaviour within and perception of crowds/groups of people

- More unknown others or lost acquaintances with whom one may share nothing but
the interest to be at the same time in the same space can be a difficult situation:
One may feel socially exposed and overly visible and may adjust the behaviour
accordingly. However, there may be a generalised trust towards others based on
their location, place-interest and looks - one may trust others and feel more
comfortable if they are, for example, visitors of one’s favourite cinema. In that
sense, one may rely on existing place attachments to form social connections and
build up social capital.

Different attraction toward spaces that match one’s mood or that offer
relaxation and ease
- One may choose to build a relationship with a space in the course of loneliness
that shares characteristics one carries within oneself or that one wishes to acquire:
Such spaces can range from the emptiness of a landscape to the bubbly
atmospheres of a nightclub. A weak social capital may develop over time with
others using a similar space and can be simply established by visually recognizing
other people's presence. The imagination that these others may be lonely too, may
foster trust and place attachment.

Increased focus on oneself and one’s behaviour

- Focus on oneself and others are essential along the lines of social expectations and
cohesion. Not only may it be that one becomes more dependent on others for one’s
well-being, but one may also realise the position one occupies in another person's
life and the experience of loneliness may go against the expectations of others, in
other words: One becomes socially overly aware in the experience of loneliness and
may apply maintenance of behaviour so to keep social capital resources and
consequently maintain a stable self-image.

Focused search for new stimuli such as new people or new spaces - new
experiences
 104

- Getting new experiences is essential. One may hope to find new spaces with new
people, hence new potential social contact and hence, building a non-lonely
narrative from these new experiences. The process is essential, one does not have
to necessarily change the neighbourhood that one knows best for such experiences,
but new social contact may help to have a different and new look at houses and
streets one knows well, so perhaps may a fascinating stranger offer new
perspectives that manifest itself in place attachment, without having to develop
bonding social capital.

More self-awareness, feeling of exposure, careful in interactions or overly

confident and bubbly
- One may be overly outgoing and bubbly, but one may also indicate a change of
inner feelings by being more silent and shy than usual. In any case, one may aim to
attract a caretaker that seeks to understand one’s feelings. The right environment is
important for such potentially intimate conversation. One may have the need to
express one’s feelings and may be looking for recipients of them.

These are different changes in a person’s behaviour or mind that describe the typology of
loneliness with regard to urban spaces for young adults. They have been developed based
on the literature and my own experience with loneliness - which I will explain later in the
methodology. It was critical to me to offer some insights into a lonely mind, so to give a
sense of an idea of what behavioural changes may occur and what a lonely person may be
thinking. It is important to understand that the experience of loneliness may be beyond
the simple need to acquire social capital but that the perception of one’s social
environment may be always a reflection of one’s inner feelings. As such, a person's
physical location and choice of space similarly show (to others) how a person is feeling and
consequently, other people may expect a person to be or act in a certain way.

PART II
This study: Loneliness in Italy (Milan) and the United Kingdom (Manchester)
A Socio-Spatial Overview of Italy and Milan

In this chapter, I set out two objectives. First, I try to engage with the question of
the prevalence of loneliness (and some proxy variables) in Italy. Secondly, I will offer some
 105

reflective thoughts about the Milan case, meaning what is specific about Milan in the
Italian context regarding my study. To begin with, there are various reasons why this study
is rooted in Milan. The main one is that I am based in Milan. This is relevant for the
reason that in this research, I need to be familiar with the city as such, meaning that when
respondents would share their socio-spatial narrative of loneliness, I need to be able to
know the spaces mentioned by having been to these places myself. This would allow for a
more detailed focus during the interviews. The next relevant marker for having chosen
Milan as the main case study for this research is that Milan occupies a special role in the
context of Italy. As Impicciatore and Strozza state about population migration:
“Nowadays, central and northern regions of Italy receive the vast majority of international
migrants and, at the same time, they also attract internal flows, given the persistent and
321
peculiar migration patterns originating in the southern regions.” Thus, Milan is a city
inhabiting people from all over Italy, many of these people have moved to work or study.
The authors further state: “Migration from south to north of the country is particularly
interesting because it shows several features that are typical of international migrations: a
one-sided trajectory from economically less developed to highly developed areas (a trait
322
that does not always emerge in other interregional flows); [...].” Temporarily, therefore,
Milan could be understood as a cultural melting pot, bringing people from all over Italy
(and from abroad) together in the study - and workplaces, who, however, may choose to
return to their region or city of origin in later life: “[...] migration is an event generally
connected with the realisation of certain objectives, and the fulfilment of such objectives
323
may encourage a return migration to the area of origin, [...].” Thus, Milan is the city
where young people arrive from other parts of the country, many of which start to live on
their own for the first time in their lives. In fact, more than one out of two people in Milan
lives alone. And further, even in the context of a relationship, people may choose to
maintain their independence by having their own flat, a phenomenon coined living apart
together. In terms of households, a general European and Italian trend is that households
324
are shrinking and people have fewer children. Further, Banks, Haynes and Hill found for
example in their study of the risk of social isolation in later life “[...] that in all countries
except Italy, people living in single-person households had higher levels of weekly contact
with a best friend than people living in larger households, and the difference was

321
Roberto Impicciatore and Salvatore Strozza. “Internal and International Migration in Italy. An Integrating Approach
Based on Administrative Data”. POLIS. No. 2. (2016): 213
322
Ibid: 221
323
Ibid: 218
324
Giovanni Seu. Ilfoglio. “Sette tipi di famiglie in città. Dati da una demografia difficile.” (June 2021). (accessed:
18.04.2022), https://www.ilfoglio.it/gran-milano/2021/06/12/news/sette-tipi-di-famiglie-in-citta-dati-da-una-demografia-difficile-2499815/
 106

325
significant regardless of age and sex.” For an overview, household sizes may also be
compared across different Italian regions. It can be seen that Lombardy, Lazio and
Piedmont with the major cities of Milan, Rome and Torino tend to have smaller
households than many of the Southern Italian regions, Campania and Naples being an
exception:

325
Laura Banks. Philipp Haynes and Michael Hill. “Living in single person households and the risk of isolation in later life”.
International Journal of Ageing and Later Life. Vol. 4 No. 1. (2009): 71
 107

Figure 7: Statista Research Department. Statista. “Average size of households in Italy in 2018, by region” (December 2021).
https://www.statista.com/statistics/569360/average-size-of-households-in-italy-by-region/

Also noteworthy for the understanding of the Milan case is that many of my respondents
felt a certain pressure to succeed in Milan. This pressure was generally perceived as
negative or unpleasant by my respondents. Originating, according to the opinion of some
respondents, is this negative climate from other certain people that they choose to describe
as fighetto (simply: snotty). Such an individualised and pressurised lifestyle may be reflected
in a statistic about perceived social support, that is, physical and psychological support an
 108

individual feels receiving from others. Generally, here, highly urbanised areas offer the
lowest perceived social support and less densely populated areas and Italy’s islands the
326
strongest. Weak social support is mainly experienced by middle-aged and elderly
members of society, who may have lost people in their life already. Therefore, young
327
people feel a generally stronger presence of a relational social network.

On a more general level in regard to loneliness in Europe it is worth pointing out that
despite mainly Northern and Western European countries have installed support for
lonely people on the socio-political level, for example, the United Kingdom, more people
328329
feel lonely in Southern and Eastern Europe. A European Union report called Loneliness
- An unequally shared burden in Europe summarised European Social Survey measures on
loneliness from 2002 to 2018 - including direct measures: “[...] please tell me how much of the
330
time during the past week you felt lonely.” and indirect measures: “[...] how o en do you meet
331
socially with friends, relatives or work colleagues?” states: “Around 9% of Europeans (across
all age groups) report being frequently lonely. About every 10th citizen in Hungary, the
Czech Republic, Italy, Poland, Belgium and Greece feels lonely. The countries with the
highest prevalence in loneliness are Czech, Hungary and Italy. [...] The lowest levels of
loneliness are found in Northern Europe, followed by Western Europe (with the exception
of France). In contrast, Eastern Europe has the highest share of lonely people, followed by
332
Southern Europe [...].” The reasons for that are less clear and most likely complex,
however, Yang suggests “[...] to identify nation-level factors that make individual residents
333
become more or less satisfied with their social relationships.” One of these
national-level factors Yang mentions is that “[...] the transformations experienced by the
above nations have forced people, especially the younger and middle-aged groups, to move
334
away from their social relations in pursuit of a better material life somewhere else.”
Such a migrational pattern has been identified in the Italian case earlier in this

326
Istat. “Le Popolazione. Le Reti E le Relazioni Sociali.” Rapporto annuale. Capitolo 3, 167 ff. (2018).
https://www.istat.it/storage/rapporto-annuale/2018/capitolo3.pdf
327
Ibid: 165 ff.
328
Keming Yang. “Loneliness - A Social Problem.” (Abingdon, Routledge, 2019): 165
329
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe. European
Union. (December 2018): 2
330
Ibid: 1
331
Ibid.
332
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe. European
Union. (April 2021): 5-6
333
Keming Yang. “Loneliness - A Social Problem,.” (Abingdon, Routledge, 2019): 168.
334
Ibid: 169
 109

dissertation. Yang further suggests that such political and economical transformations
335
make it “[...] now more difficult to establish friendly and trustworthy relations.” The
same is true for social isolation - having no one to talk to - that seems to be more prevalent
336
in South and Eastern Europe.

Figure 8: European Social Survey. “Felt lonely, how o en past week? (2014)

Here, in a comparison with Germany and Finland, Italy (and Spain) score higher in the
frequency of loneliness. Here, it is important to understand the migrational patterns,
socio-economic conditions and household size as a particular narrative within which
loneliness may occur, however certainly not necessarily. Further, these statistics might be
surprising when first engaging with loneliness but an additional explanation is given by
the same report: “In Southern and Eastern European countries family ties are strong and
filial norms, [...]. Expectations of social connectedness and hence potential dissatisfaction

335
Ibid.
336
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe. European
Union. (December 2018): 3
 110

337338
could therefore be higher in the former than in the latter group of countries.” As I
have discussed earlier the phenomenon of living alone and its potential correlation with
loneliness, I may now also question the time spent alone. Looking at an Istat variable of
time spent alone or with other people, it is confirmed that people in the Northeast (so for
example Milan and Torino) actually spend more time alone than people from the south on
339
an average day. But whether that makes people lonely is a qualitative question, however,
it points to a potential difficulty people may face to adjust to the socio-cultural context of
Milan, when perhaps moving from Southern Italy.

There are other, perhaps more stereotypical explanations for these statistics, that however
according to my research, have put an interesting layer on this study. The people in Milan
to whom I have introduced this study would ask me frequently why I would do this in
Italy. That, they explained, was because they assumed Italy would be a social, open and
friendly place where loneliness if it came into existence, would be rendered out by social
capital. I then explained that it may be precise because of this stereotype, that people who
feel some form of loneliness would struggle to open up - because no one expects them to be
lonely - and hence feels more lonely. On the contrary - I am partly writing this thesis in
Tallinn, Estonia and people to whom I have talked about the topic of my thesis here
initially assumed that I have chosen the right country (Estonia) to study loneliness. When I
then explained, I would research loneliness in Italy, they were similarly surprised.

Further, I came across a statistic that sparked news in the Italian media, as I will explain
shortly. A 2015 Eurostat statistic asked people if they have someone to ask for help and if they
have someone to discuss personal matters - surprisingly here, Italy ranks among the countries,
340
where most people do not have such people in their life. Whether this means that people
have such people and simply assign too much or too many expectations on social
relationships (so that they will be inevitably disappointed) or have no one remains
questionable. Considering another variable, namely not having anyone to ask for help, Italy

337
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe. European
Union. (April 2021): 6
338
Gerdt Sundström, Eleonor Fransson, Bo Malmberg and Adam Davey. “Loneliness among older Europeans”. European
Journal of Ageing. Vol. 6. No. 4. (2018) cited in Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira
Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The European’s commission science and knowledge service. Loneliness – an unequally
shared burden in Europe. European Union. (April 2021): 6
339
Istat. “Time spent alone or with other people”. (2013). http://dati.istat.it/Index.aspx?QueryId=25852&lang=en
340
Eurostat. European Union. “Do Europeans feel lonely?” (June 2017). (accessed: 18.04.2022),
https://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/web/products-eurostat-news/-/DDN-20170628-1#:~:text=6%20%25%20of%20the%20EU%20population,Member%20
States%2C%20Italy%20and%20Luxembourg.
 111

341
scores as the country where most people do not have someone to ask for help. Another
hypothesis that could explain this would have been the demographics, as Italy has the
highest share in Europe of elderly people over 65 in 2021 - who may be o en widowed or
342
living increasingly solitary lives. However, I have discussed exactly these Eurostat
statistics with Riccardo Germani, a clinical psychologist from Milan. In an article called
La solitudine secondo la psicologia (Loneliness according to psychology) Germani wrote about
loneliness, in very general terms. He states: “Loneliness is on the rise, and it's a state of
mind that certainly affects being a global citizen, despite the now constant internet
connection. Recent studies argue that loneliness is an increasingly widespread condition,
343
especially in Italy, [...]” In my personal interview with Germani, we explored some of the
topics that may have to do with these perhaps surprising loneliness statistics from Italy.
One of these topics has been the risks and benefits of social media. A 2020 Statista
statistic has, for example, illustrated that young Italians are not generally more online
than middle-aged people, but that they use mainly the smartphone for that as opposed to
computers, indicating a much higher use of social media (which is mainly accessed via
344
smartphones). Nevertheless, this may shape the experience and behaviour around
loneliness (such as over-consumption of social media) but does not explain the high
prevalence of loneliness in the Italian context, as for example, Italians are using the
internet not more than other countries generally, perhaps even slightly fewer hours a
345
day. However, in my interview with Germani, he also expressed his feelings towards
346
Milan, describing it as a big office. One may hypothesise that Milan is a distinctive
socio-spatial environment within that perhaps feeling lonely is a greater risk than in
smaller and Southern Italian areas, but I will return to this hypothesis in the findings part.

Moving onwards to learn more about the social structure and individual and social
expectations in Italy, there are two variables I would like to introduce, chosen based on
347
the idea of trust and reciprocity relevant to social capital theory. Turning to the

341
Ibid.
342
Clark D. Statista. “Share of population that are aged 65 years and older in European countries in 2021”. (March 2022)
(accessed: 18.04.2022). https://www.statista.com/statistics/1105835/share-of-elderly-population-in-europe-by-country/
343
Riccardo Germani. Santagostino Psiche. “La solitudine secondo la psicologia”. (March 2019). (accessed: 15.12.2019).
(translated with DeepL). https://psiche.santagostino.it/2019/03/20/paura-solitudine/
344
J. Clement. Statista. “Daily time spent online by age group in Italy as of April 2020, by device and by age group (in
minutes). (May 2021). (accessed: 19.05.2022). https://www.statista.com/statistics/791434/daily-time-spent-online-by-age-group-in-italy/
345
European Social Survey, How much time during the day do you use internet?,2018
346
Riccardo Germani and Tom Brennecke. Interview. (January 2020).
347
Robert Putnam. “Bowling Alone - The Collapse and Revival of American Community”. (New York, Simon & Schuster,
2000): 18
 112

European Social Survey, trust is relatively similar spread amongst the biggest European
countries. Finland might be exceptional.

Figure 9: European Social Survey. “Most people can be trusted or you can’t be too careful”. (2018)

For reciprocity, however, I had to apply a proxy variable. In this case, I explored whether
people are helpful or mostly looking out to themselves. Italy is lower average and while
there is no reason to assume Italian society would be distrustful, there are fewer people
than in Germany or Hungary that consider other people to be helpful. It might not be by
accident that the countries with above-average levels of loneliness - Poland, Hungary and
Italy - are scoring relatively low on the trust and reciprocity statistics.

Figure 10: European Social Survey. “Most people look for themselves or most of the time people are helpful”. (2018)
 113

To note is that trust, reciprocity and loneliness seem to be all experiences that involve
other people coming into existence. Banks, Haynes and Hill have for example shown that
people 50 years or older have the fewest friends in Italy, Hungary or Spain - thus countries
that also score relatively high on loneliness. Further, in the Italian context, people 50 years
348
or older tend to have especially few friends within their neighbourhood. For young
people, I could not find data. Only, young adults in Italy are much more likely to dwell
with their parents compared to other European countries, which might perhaps influence
349
the structure of their social life or their experience of loneliness. Nevertheless, increased
awareness of loneliness has arrived in Italy and in Milan at the latest during the Covid-19
350
pandemic, where various news articles were covering the topic. Loneliness during the
pandemic shall be the next chapter a er having had an overview of the situation in the
United Kingdom and Manchester.

A Socio-Spatial Overview of the United Kingdom and Manchester

For a statistical overview of the United Kingdom and Manchester in particular, I

set out the following objectives: First, I give an overview of social charities and funds
directed at loneliness. Secondly, I will give an overview of loneliness prevalence in the
United Kingdom and lastly, I will try to explain the particular role of Manchester in the
context of the United Kingdom. By highlighting the existing social charities and funds, I
hereby emphasise the focus in the United Kingdom already existing on loneliness.

The Government of the United Kingdom announced various funds and plans to address
loneliness: “The Government [...] announced two funds to address loneliness: £98 million
for the healthy ageing programme and £20 million to support organisations working to
351
address loneliness (including a new £11 million Building Connections Fund).” These
funds are operated through the Jo Cox Foundation. Jo Cox was a British politician, set out
to create a cross-party agenda to tackle loneliness and passed away in a tragic death.
However, the aim of the foundation is to push “[...] for a kinder, more compassionate
society where every individual has a sense of belonging and where we recognise that we

348
Laura Banks. Philipp Haynes and Michael Hill. “Living in single person households and the risk of isolation in later life”.
International Journal of Ageing and Later Life. Vol. 4 No. 1. (2009): 69
349
Ami Sedghi and George Arnett. The Guardian. “Europe's young adults living with parents - a country by country
breakdown“. (24th March 2014). (accessed: August 16th 2022).
https://www.theguardian.com/news/datablog/2014/mar/24/young-adults-still-living-with-parents-europe-country-breakdown
350
See for example https://www.ilsole24ore.com/art/pandemia-55percento-soffre-solitudine-disagio-sempre-piu-forte-i-giovani-ADPDU0y
351
Melissa MacDonald and Aaron Kulakiewicz. Library Specialists. “Tackling Loneliness”. House of Commons Library.
(June 2021): 7. https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/CBP-8514/CBP-8514.pdf
 114

352
have more in common than that which divides us.” Additionally, the government
publishes annual reports on loneliness which include data, policy designs and suggestions
353
for how to strengthen communities. The general aims set out by the government in
response to loneliness include “[a] commitment to play our part in improving the evidence
base so we better understand what causes loneliness, its impacts and what works to tackle
it; To embed loneliness as a consideration across government policy, recognising the wide
range of factors that can exacerbate feelings of loneliness and support people’s social
wellbeing and resilience [and to] [b]uild a national conversation on loneliness, to raise
354
awareness of its impacts and to help tackle stigma.” It also seems clear from the
following graph that social welfare, which would possibly include loneliness, receives a lot
of financial attention in the whole charity sector of the United Kingdom. Such active
engagement with the topic is then reflected in for example the accessibility of information

Figure 11: United Kingdom Charities Classification. “Charities per Tag”. (September 2021).
https://charityclassification.org.uk/data/outputs/

352
The Jo Cox Foundation. “Loneliness”. (accessed: 19.04.2022). https://www.jocoxfoundation.org/loneliness
353
Melissa MacDonald and Aaron Kulakiewicz. Library Specialists. “Tackling Loneliness”. House of Commons Library.
(June 2021): 7. https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/CBP-8514/CBP-8514.pdf
354
Her Majesty’s Government. Department for Digital, Culture, Media and Sport. “A connected society: A strategy for
tackling loneliness – laying the foundations for change”. (October 2018): 14 cited in Melissa MacDonald and Aaron
Kulakiewicz. Library Specialists. “Tackling Loneliness”. House of Commons Library. (June 2021): 36.
https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/CBP-8514/CBP-8514.pdf
 115

for people experiencing loneliness. If one thinks of how someone who experiences
loneliness may look for support, information or help, there are many more suggestions on
Google and many of them are direct links to such associations compared to the Italian
355
context.

“From 2016 to 2017, there were 5% of adults in England who reported feeling lonely 'o en'
or 'always'. Younger adults aged 16 to 24 years reported feeling lonely more o en than
those in older age groups. Women reported feeling lonely more o en than men. People
who feel that they belong less strongly to their neighbourhood reported feeling lonely
more o en. People who have little trust of others in their local area reported feeling lonely
356
more o en.” Further: “Nearly nine in ten (88%) Britons aged from 18 to 24 say they
experience loneliness to some degree, with a quarter (24%) suffering o en and 7% saying
they are lonely all of the time. In comparison, 70% of those aged over 55 also say they can
be lonely to some extent, however, only 7% are lonely o en and just 2% say they are lonely
357
all the time.”

Figure 12: Connor Ibbetson. YouGov. “Young Britons are more likely to experience greater levels of loneliness” (2019)

355
Compare ‘Loneliness England’ with ‘Solitudine Italia’
356
Office for National Statistics. Edward Pyle and Dani Evans. “Loneliness - What characteristics and circumstances are
associated with feeling lonely?” (April 2018). https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/the-facts-on-loneliness/
357
Connor Ibbetson. YouGov. “Who are the most lonely people in the UK?” (October 2019). (accessed: 19.04.2022).
https://yougov.co.uk/topics/lifestyle/articles-reports/2019/10/03/young-britons-are-most-lonely
 116

A similar analysis of loneliness across age shows that loneliness may actually describe a
U-shape in cases of people reporting ‘o en/always’ or ‘some of the time’. This means that
it is the young and the old that are most lonely. Such has been also found by Victor and
Yang in their study of loneliness in the United Kingdom, concluding that those aged
358
under 25 years and those aged over 65 years demonstrate the highest levels of loneliness.
Similarly, Lasgaard, Friis and Shevlin have argued in their study of Danish citizens that
loneliness dispersion takes a U-shape across age groups. It is the young until 30 and those
359
over 70 that experience severe symptoms more o en.

Figure 13: Office for National Statistics. Community Life Survey 2016-2017. “How o en respondents feel lonely by age
group”. (2018).

Generally, it has to be said that the amount of data in the United Kingdom should not be
confused with the prevalence of loneliness. The same counts for the amount of research
and researchers around loneliness coming from the United Kingdom. Certainly, the
United Kingdom may be a role model for other countries whose citizens may experience
similar problems, but I fail to clearly answer the question as to why exactly loneliness

358
Christina Victor and Keming Yang. “The Prevalence of Loneliness Among Adults: A Case Study of the United
Kingdom”. Journal of Psychology. Vol. 146. No. 1-2. (2012): 85
359
Mathias Lasgaard, Karina Friis and Shevlin, Mark. ‘‘Where are all the lonely people?’’. A population-based study of
high-risk groups across the lifespan”. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology. Vol. 51 (2016): 1378
 117

research (and mental health research generally) is so dominant in the United Kingdom, so
for example having introduced a mental health awareness week for already over 20
360
years. Based on that, it seems confusing how policy targeting on loneliness addresses
most o en the elderly, but it is time to ask how to address the younger population that
361
might be lonely for different reasons and in different ways.

Loneliness research in the United Kingdom has progressed so far that even more detailed
analysis (beyond the national statistics) can be found, so for example: “Those living in
closely packed apartment complexes reported feeling lonelier than people living in places
362
with more space between living quarters.” More specifically, “[...] each residential
density increment of 1,000 units/Km2 was associated with 2.8% and 11.4% higher odds of
363
loneliness and social isolation respectively.” [...] “More pronounced effects of residential
density on loneliness were identified among males and those retired, while for social
364
isolation, similar effect was observed among the retired” That, however, is a similar
finding as the perceived social support that has been identified weaker in metropolitan
areas across Italy, thus there is some ground to analyse the context of the city more
closely, as done in this thesis. Therefore, the next statistic I would like to look at is
whether loneliness correlates more with people living alone or with people living with
others.

360
Mental Health Foundation. “Mental Health Awareness Week”. (accessed: 19.04.2022), https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/
361
See for example the NHS (National Health Service), that has an article about loneliness for old people but not for young people on
their website: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/loneliness-in-older-people/
362
Bob Yirka. Phys.org. “People living in dense parts of UK cities found to be more lonely”. (August 2021). (accessed:
19.04.2022). https://phys.org/news/2021-08-people-dense-uk-cities-lonely.html
363
Ka Yan Lai, et. al. “Calculating a national Anomie Density Ratio: Measuring the patterns of loneliness and social
isolation across the UK’s residential density gradient using results from the UK Biobank study”. Landscape and Urban
Planning.Vol. 215. (2021): 9
364
Ibid: 1
 118

Figure 14: Office for National Statistics. Community Life Survey 2016-2017. “Reported frequency of loneliness by living with
others or with others”. (2018).

Unsurprisingly, people living alone are much more likely to experience loneliness. On that
note, people that rent are much more likely to feel lonely than homeowners, which may
have to do with a higher sense of belonging or ownership. In sum, one can paint the
picture of the lonely person in Britain very well: It is a young, single female, renting a
place and living alone - being unemployed, ill with a low sense of belonging to the
365
neighbourhood. Here, satisfaction with the general area as a place to live (perhaps
relating to the general concept of quality of life) and a sense of belonging to the
neighbourhood are presented as two spatial variants that determine loneliness, amidst
other social variables. In my research, I will illustrate that more spatial variants can and
should be added, such as type and quality of the flat, closeness to public transport, and
security at night. Next, I will move towards investigating the role of Manchester within
the context of the United Kingdom. An organisation called AgeUK published interactive
maps that show the geographical risk of becoming lonely based on the following criteria:
366
marital status, self-reported health status, age, and household size. It seems not only

365
Office for National Statistics. “Loneliness - What characteristics and circumstances are associated with feeling lonely?,
Analysis of characteristics and circumstances associated with loneliness in England using the Community Life Survey, 2016 to
2017.” (2018)
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/lonelinesswhatcharacteristicsandcircumstancesareassociatedwithfeelinglonely/2018-04-10
366
Age UK. “Loneliness maps: What makes older people at risk of being lonely, and which neighbourhoods have the highest risk?”
(2021). (accessed: 19.04.2022), https://www.ageuk.org.uk/our-impact/policy-research/loneliness-research-and-resources/loneliness-maps/
 119

technotopian to display such a map, it further seems as if criteria one would consider
relevant are le out, such as social activities, mobility, etc. In any case, I want to display
the risk area for Manchester. The darker the area, the higher the chance for adults older
than 65 to become lonely - such data is not available for younger people.

Figure 15: Age UK. “Loneliness maps: What makes older people at risk of being lonely, and which neighbourhoods have the
highest risk?” Manchester Area. (2021).

It becomes clear that loneliness in Manchester’s north and east may be more prevalent
than in Manchester’s west. I can only speculate about the potential reasons for that, such
as finding answers on the socio-economic condition of residents, as, for example, one
respondent explained the situation in Ashton, a smaller town in the east of Manchester.
 120

367
However, unemployment statistics show hardly any similarity with the map above. On a
more general level, the Campaign to End Loneliness states about Manchester: “Manchester
City Council has adopted a multi-agency approach to improving connections in older age,
building communities and promoting ‘active ageing’. They were the first city in the UK to
become a member of the World Health Organisation network of Age Friendly Cities a er
establishing a Valuing Older People programme to improve services and opportunities for
older residents in Manchester. Since 2003 they have launched a ten-year strategy
‘Manchester – A Great Place to Grow Older’, and awarded grants to 200 community
368
groups to improve care and housing services.”

Nevertheless, compared to Milan, the role of Manchester within the United Kingdom may
be quite different. For one, the financial centre that Milan is within Italy is and has always
369
been London in the United Kingdom (or even globally). Secondly, “[i]t's true that
Manchester city centre is undergoing massive economic and social changes. [...] between
1998 and 2015 the number of jobs located in the city centre increased by 84 per cent, and
the number of residents grew by a whopping 149 per cent between 2002 and 2015. But
notwithstanding the concerns of people who aren’t comfortable with the transformation
of the city centre, these changes display how much Manchester city centre has improved
as a place to live and a place to work [as opposed to the industrial and early post-industrial
times]. In terms of employment and businesses, it has been particularly attractive to
370
knowledge-intensive activities, [...].” Further, Manchester is a multiethnic city known to
371
be a highly creative city. I am mentioning this because Manchester’s creative legacy has
been presented much more dominantly to me (in my stay) than perhaps Milan’s creative
potential and may thus be a strong factor that influences migration movement within the
United Kingdom and from abroad (so for example in pursuit of an artistic career). The last
social finding about Manchester, again, perhaps contrary to what some respondents think
about Milan, is that Manchester and the northern United Kingdom generally have the
most socially agreeable people. That however is not only built on cultural narratives solely
but has been researched. Rentfrow, Jokela and Lamb explain: “The distribution of
Agreeableness [...] clearly shows concentrations of high Agreeableness throughout most of

367
See for example: Plumplot. Greater Manchester average salary comparison, (accessed: 19.04.2022).
https://www.plumplot.co.uk/Greater-Manchester-salary-and-unemployment.html
368
Campaign to End Loneliness. “Case Study Manchester City Council: Manchester City Council Valuing Older People
Programme”. (accessed: 19.04.2022). https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/case-study-manchester/
369
See for example: https://www.theglobalcity.uk/global-financial-centre
370
Hugo Bessis. Centre for Cities. “Manchester must make tough choices to sustain its urban renaissance”. (June 2018).
(accessed: 19.04.2022), https://www.centreforcities.org/blog/manchester-must-make-tough-choices-sustain-urban-renaissance/
371
See for example: https://en.unesco.org/creative-cities/manchester
 121

Scotland, as well as areas in the North, South West, and East of England, suggesting that
disproportionate numbers of residents of these areas were friendly, trusting, and kind.
Low levels of Agreeableness were concentrated primarily in London and various districts
throughout the East of England, suggesting that comparatively large proportions of
372
residents of these areas were uncooperative, quarrelsome, and irritable.” Further it was
373
found that agreeableness is a core condition for the production of social capital. The
authors further found that residents in Manchester were curious and social (compared to
374
other parts of the United Kingdom). Such research and the cultural narratives have led
some respondents of mine and for example, the Campaign to End Loneliness term London a
particularly lonely place, claiming “Londoners are more likely than others in the UK to be
affected by severe forms of loneliness – 700,000 of them feel lonely ‘most’ or ‘all of the
375376
time’.” That said, some stereotypes encountered in the Italian context generally are
therefore similarly existing in the Manchester context, making the two cities in
themselves interesting case studies with their own distinctive features.

The Situation During the Lockdown

Still a er more than two years of the Covid-19 pandemic, explaining its influence
and effects on individual narratives is a difficult undertaking: There is data constantly
being gathered and long-term consequences remain difficult to estimate, even though
preliminary findings include for example an increase in depression and anxiety
377
worldwide. I would generally advise readers to not equate the pandemic with a
pandemic of loneliness and first and foremost with a change in the quality and quantity of
social contacts. In fact, some of my respondents felt better (or less lonely) during the
lockdown, here explained by two respondents from Milan: “[...] with lockdown everybody
experienced that feeling of being lonely and it was kind of traumatic for lots of people because
when lonely you have to face your demons that sometimes you don’t have the time in this city to

372
Peter Rentfrow, Markus Jokela and Michael Lam. “Regional Personality Differences in Great Britain”. PLOS One, (2015):
9. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0122245
373
Peter Rentfrow, Charlotta Mellander and Richard Florida. “Happy States of America: A state-level analysis of
psychological, economic, and social well-being.” Journal of Research in Personality Vol. 43. (2009)
374
Peter Rentfrow, Markus Jokela and Michael Lam. “Regional Personality Differences in Great Britain”. PLOS One, (2015):
9-11. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0122245
375
Campaign to End Loneliness. “Loneliness in London -Why are some Londoners severely lonely?” (accessed: 19.04.2022).
https://www.campaigntoendloneliness.org/loneliness-in-london-why-are-some-londoners-severely-lonely/
376
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
377
World Health Organization. “COVID-19 pandemic triggers 25% increase in prevalence of anxiety and depression
worldwide”. (March 2022). (accessed: 20.04.2022).
https://www.who.int/news/item/02-03-2022-covid-19-pandemic-triggers-25-increase-in-prevalence-of-anxiety-and-depression-worldwide
 122

face and you get in terms with a lot of things, relationships with friends, with other people, that is
378
what happens.”

“I was the only person prepared for the lockdown and I said ok, now I just close myself in the
house. So no, I did not feel lonelier...actually I started to feel a bit better because I had all the
379
necessary time to clear thoughts and the important people in my life.”

In the broad scheme of loneliness research, the notion that loneliness can be and is
experienced by young people as well, was not prevailing or dominant. The pandemic has
accelerated the awareness of young adults’ loneliness and similarly, so my personal
impression helped to de-stigmatize loneliness through increased academic research. Here
are some examples of papers:

'Now my life is stuck!': Experiences of adolescents and young people during COVID-19
lockdown in South Africa
- Gittings, Lesley, et. al., 2021

Young people, inequality and violence during the COVID-19 lockdown in Uganda
- Parkes, Jenny, et. al., 2020

How did the mental health symptoms of children and adolescents change over early lockdown
during the COVID‐19 pandemic in the UK?
- Waite, Polly, et. al., 2021

Debate: The impact of school closures and lockdown on mental health in young people
- Townsend, Ellen, 2020

What's Happened to Italian Adolescents During the COVID-19 Pandemic? A Preliminary

Study on Symptoms, Problematic Social Media Usage, and Attachment: Relationships and
Differences With Pre-pandemic Peers
- Muzi, Stefanie; Sansò, Alessandra; Pace, Cecilia Serena, 2021

The Italian Newspaper Ilsore24ore has published a report, claiming it is one-third of the
18-34-year-olds, thus young adults, that feel the most lonely: a figure that more than

378
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
379
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 123

doubled during the lockdown. Not surprisingly, among the reasons given to explain the
sense of loneliness is precisely the difficulty in being able to attend meetings with their
friends, partners or relatives. The new restrictions are, in fact, perceived as a threat to
one's social relations: 53% of those feel more alone and 37% of Italians, in general, are
convinced that the restrictions will have a negative impact. A risk, in this case, felt more
380
by men than by women. Further, there are for example psychologists in Milan who talk
about loneliness on their website or more recently, the band La Scapigliatura put a poster
saying Finirà la solitudine on walls in some of the neighbourhoods of my respondents’ from
Milan, asking people to not only listen to their music but leaving comments of what this
music or particularly the word loneliness means to them and why it attracted them in the
381382
first place.

As a personal research, I did my own survey in the first month of the first wave of the
Covi-19 pandemic in Milan. The idea behind this initial survey was to grasp the
impression and opinions of Italians during the first weeks of the lockdown. I, therefore,
adopted ten different variables that the Istituto Nazionale di Statistica (ISTAT) is using in
their annual survey Aspetti della Vita Quotidiana (Aspects of Daily Life) - some examples:
Do you have family, friends, neighbours to count on? In the next 5 years, your overall situation
will… improve - get worse? How o en do you feel happy? How many people with whom you can
discuss intimate and personal matters? The survey is conducted via interview, either personal
or web-based and encompasses around 20.000 households with around 50.000 people in
383
total living all over Italy. I relied on survey data acquired in 2017. Questions estimating
general views of life and relationships were the ones of particular interest to me. I used
Google Forms to set up my survey. My form was sent across Italian Facebook groups.
Groups were devoted to news about Coronavirus in Italy, certain neighbourhoods or
political debates. I chose groups connected to all major Italian cities, from Milan to Rome
to Bari to Palermo. At the end of the survey, I had a little over 300 responses.

The main findings from this survey: Presumably for most people, meeting friends has

380
Antonio Noto. “Pandemia: il 55% soffre di solitudine, disagio sempre più forte tra i giovani.” (translated with DeepL),
(November 2020). (accessed: 20.04.2022),
https://www.ilsole24ore.com/art/pandemia-55percento-soffre-solitudine-disagio-sempre-piu-forte-i-giovani-ADPDU0y
381
See for example: http://www.psicologomilano.me/la-solitudine-malessere-contemporaneo/
382
Filippo Capra. ““Finirà la solitudine”, chi c’è dietro i manifesti con cui è stata tappezzata Milano.” translated with
DeepL. (June 2021). (accessed: 20.04.2022).
https://www.fanpage.it/milano/finira-la-solitudine-chi-ce-dietro-i-manifesti-con-cui-e-stata-tappezzata-milano/
383
Istat. “Multipurpose Survey on Households: Aspects of Daily Life - Microdata for Research Purposes”. (2017).
https://www.istat.it/en/archivio/129934
 124

been difficult during the lockdown, but how has that changed one's attitude towards them? In
my survey, 89 % answered yes to the question of whether they have friends to count on. In
2017, only 69 % confirmed yes. On the contrary, there were fewer neighbours to count on. In
2017, 63% of the people had such neighbours whereas 58% confirmed that in my survey. It
may be argued that having friends and maintaining a good level of friendship became
more important during this period, even though it was more difficult. When it comes to
neighbours, if this little downtrend can be meaningfully interpreted, I could speculate that
the relationship with neighbours has turned out to be not as sufficient as people might
have expected or wished for. Many people must be increasingly meeting their neighbours
in the courtyards or gardens (if they have such) - neighbours with which one might have
thought to establish a friendship but that might have turned out to be a rather ordinary
neighbourship. However, for a sincere interpretation, this statistical shi seems too small.
As an additional note, 86% of the people in my survey had family to count on, which is
almost as much as friends. Family and friends are the two pillars to serve as the
foundations of one's and are usually good providers of stability and reliance. In the
original survey, the largest portion of the people said they rarely felt discouraged and sad
during the last 4 weeks, namely about 42% of the respondents. In my survey, the largest
portion was the people who answered sometimes, 42% as well. This is a shi one step up on
the frequency scale. The second largest portion of people that answered with sometimes in
the original survey (32%) moved towards o en in my survey (27%). Such shi s in the
responses are seemingly easy to explain as the pandemic has just begun. It should be
noted at this point that the frequency items used are lining up as follows: Always, Nearly
Always, O en, Sometimes, Rarely, Never. Asked the same question with happiness instead of
sadness, 18% of the people have moved from Nearly Always to O en in my survey compared
to the original one. Levels of sadness and discouragement partly increased and levels of
happiness partly decreased for that matter. The last question I wanted to cover was again
broader. In my survey, 56% of the people think their life will improve in the next five years. In
the original survey, it was only 26 %, so around half of that. It is reasonable to think that
many people look optimistic into the future, as a sort of clinging on to hope for the better.
How could one go about one’s everyday life thinking those lockdown-conditions would be framing
it for the next five years? Concluding my findings, despite an overall despondency, many
people have not only not lost their hope, but have also reached out to their friends and
family. But I cannot conclude without acknowledging the shortcomings of my study in
terms of range and age, as not all age groups and genders are equally spread on Facebook.
Similarly, I have not been able to get a clear and equally spread overview throughout Italy.
Further, I was hesitant to clearly state the survey would be precisely targeting the
 125

lockdown period, so many people may have anachronistically answered, leaving out the
current period. Nevertheless, this survey yielded many responses and comments, similar
to my later research on loneliness using Facebook-groups, showing an interest in mental
health and loneliness in particular.

In another article, published in March 2020 by the Catania-based newspaper Italianinsider,

I had already considered the effects of the mental health of the pandemic in its earliest
weeks. I would like to illustrate my early perspective during the first weeks of the
lockdown here:

“Loneliness is ‘[...] a sign of the evacuation of meaning or politics from life.’, writes
384
political scientist Thomas Dumm in his book Loneliness as a way of life. But we are
not lonely yet, we are only spatially locked up with a troubled temper. We have not
lost meaning, but it is becoming hard to find. Wherever we go, we are confronted with
the virus. Facial Masks and gloves render visible what otherwise would remain unseen.
Silence is omnipresent, only now and then cut by the piercing sound of a siren out in
the streets. We chit-chat with our friends about the impact the virus has had so far for
everyone and returning home being le alone with the thoughts. It became difficult to
go about one's everyday life. We lost what Ray Oldenburg once called ‘neutral
385
grounds... where we can go without aim or arrangement.’ We are forced instead into
the intimacy of our private lives. We attempt to learn something in the ‘[...] solitude of
386
ourselves that is otherwise unavailable to us.’ says Dumm. But doing that is a
cognitive learning process. Our capacity to deal with the situation is highly varied.
For some, the walk to the supermarket offers a little time off, for others, social media
387
opens a full world of escape possibilities.”

This was a longer reflection on the statistics and experiences in the Italian context.
However, the British Office for National Statistics arrived at a similar conclusion: “Living in
a single-person household, difficulties with relationships caused by the pandemic, and not
having anyone to talk to have also contributed to experiences of loneliness. [...] From

384
Thomas Dumm. “Loneliness as a Way of Life”. (Cambridge, Harvard University Press, 2008): 28
385
Ray Oldenburg. The Great Good Place”. (New York, Da Capo Press, 1997 [1989]): 78
386
Thomas Dumm. “Loneliness as a Way of Life”. (Cambridge, Harvard University Press, 2008): 22
387
Tom Brennecke. ItalianInsider. “Milan Dispatch: The Mental Life of an Epidemic.”. (March 2020).
http://www.italianinsider.it/?q=node/9056
 126

October 2020 to February 2021, of those who said their well-being had been affected in the
last seven days by the pandemic, 38.6% (about 10.5 million people) said it was because they
were lonely. Accounting for groups we know are particularly affected by loneliness more
generally, we found young people and single people have also been most affected by this
388
seven-day measure or lockdown loneliness.”

Not only has the lockdown changed the way we feel and behave, it has also changed some
of the understanding of loneliness: One aspect of this change that I could not find a good
description of is the introduction of lockdown loneliness, as opposed to loneliness. Lockdown
loneliness is a term, I believe, introduced by the British government to describe the
particular type of loneliness occurring due to the effects of lockdowns and shutdowns.
Therefore, I would like to share some qualitative differences of lockdown loneliness
compared to (non-lockdown) loneliness that I could think of based on my interviews:

- Social interactions have moved mostly online or on telephone

- Degrading of quality of mutual (and perhaps romantic) activities, such as couples could not
go to the supermarket together in Italy, people who were just dating could not meet as long
as not a couple
- Higher degree of social isolation
- Fear, insecurity, anxiety are more present daily
- Loss of everyday narrative and pleasure due to repeated same activities

In any case, the report states further that “[l]evels of loneliness in Great Britain have
increased since spring 2020. Between 3rd April and 3rd May 2020, 5.0% of people (about
2.6 million adults) said that they felt lonely o en or always. From October 2020 to February
2021, results from the Opinions and Lifestyle Survey (OPN) show that the proportion
increased to 7.2% of the adult population (about 3.7 million adults). [...] Areas with a higher
concentration of younger people (aged 16-24) and areas with higher rates of
unemployment tended to have higher rates of loneliness during the study period (October
2020 to February 2021). Local authorities in countryside areas also had a lower loneliness
389
rate than urban, industrial, or other types of area.” Interestingly enough, anxiety has
390
further been linked to living in very crowded, or dense, places during the lockdown.

388
Office for National Statistics. “Mapping loneliness during the coronavirus pandemic”. (April 2021). (accessed: 20.04.2022).
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/articles/mappinglonelinessduringthecoronaviruspandemic/2021-04-07
389
Ibid.
390
Ibid.
 127

On a financial side, the British Government announced various funds addressing

loneliness during the pandemic: “On 22nd April 2020, the Government announced a plan
to tackle loneliness. This included the launch of the latest Let’s Talk Loneliness campaign
on how individuals can support themselves and others if they feel isolated or lonely. [....]
The Government announced a £5 million grant fund for loneliness charities in May 2020.
[...] By November 2020, the Government provided £23 million to 1,100 charities that tackle
loneliness. [...] A £4 million local connections fund was announced in December 2020 to
support charities and community groups that reduce isolation. • An additional £7.5
million was announced in December 2020 to tackle loneliness over the winter, focused on
the arts, libraries, charities and radio. This includes an extension to the loneliness fund
391
announced previously.” I therefore hope to have given an overview of loneliness during
the Covid-19 pandemic and the most affected parts of society, which are similar across the
two case studies, before and during the pandemic.

A Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness in Milan and Manchester

Generally, by making my understanding of loneliness more specific, I aim to

provide an overview and a common base of understanding of what exactly this research is
concerned with the two respective cities. There are various variables within that Milan in
the context of Italy could be compared to Manchester in the context of the United
Kingdom. Thus, there are many elements that a more concise and geographically specific
typology of loneliness can rely on based on a general description. This concerns the
characteristics of the nature of loneliness as well as the overall experience of being lonely.
In this part of the chapter, I would like to answer the question of what variables I
concentrated on or looked out for specifically when engaging with the two respective
cities in more detail. Starting with Milan, it is a city with a very dominating lifestyle that
many of the people I have talked to did not subscribe to, as mentioned earlier. Here is
summarised by one of my respondents: “When I moved to Milan it was more...completely the
opposite because...well it is not a big city but the attitude towards the others is kind of different.
Everybody stays on their own, always busy, sometimes just to show off, sometimes because they
really are busy, you know life goes on a higher level here, is like..more an endurance test, so the
more you are stressed the more you have to go on, and to make money, to do this, to do that, see
people, see other friends, so kind of very difficult to establish that kind of friendships

391
Melissa MacDonald and Aaron Kulakiewicz. Library Specialists. “Tackling Loneliness”. House of Commons Library.
(June 2021): 7. https://researchbriefings.files.parliament.uk/documents/CBP-8514/CBP-8514.pdf
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sometimes...so the first year was really rough. I remember that I was always on the phone with my
mother and I battled and I struggled to be here, to continue my studies here but at the same time I
was so fucking alone, I was like on the phone with my mother and saying I will never make new
friends, it is so hard here, people don’t really stop to know someone, they are always in a hurry and
392
I don’t know because I am not used to it….now I am in a hurry to so I understand.“

This quote concerns the lifestyle in Milan, perhaps driven by constant economic pressure
for the individual to succeed, as for many people, this was what they set out for when
coming to Milan. However, especially in Milan compared to Manchester, I had the
personal impression that this dominant mode of lifestyle is on the flipside also reflected in
a strong counterculture of artists and social organisations that o en seemed to offer a
393
non-materialistic alternative. Such places are for example Leoncavallo or Casa Loca on
the Bicocca campus - spaces which support refugees, provide affordable food and host
many cultural events. Other events such as bike rides to protest against car dominance
show this clash of interests, deeply rooted in the atmosphere and lifestyle of Milan (and
elsewhere) very poignantly. However, this does not mean that there is a dichotomy of
lifestyles in Milan, but simply to share the impression that there is a wide spectrum of
cultural practices. This further indicates that the quality of loneliness of my respondents
is rooted somewhere along these lines - many having found a spatial and social home
precisely in the alternative to the capitalist dominance of the city centre in
neighbourhoods of NoLo (North Loreto) or Porta Venezia, where sharing amongst
neighbours, a community feeling and the kindness of strangers was o en highlighted to
394
me, whereas others are yet to uncover such social institutions for them.

The second relevant variable to mention is the notion of public and semi-public spaces
prevailing in Italy, although more in the south, so also relevant in Milan. Public space has
always had a central role in Italian social life and is historically the centre for social and
395
political discussions. In relation to my research, public spaces are therefore the spaces
where the lonely person gets in contact with others, o en in situations beyond personal
control (new people may be met; various social skills are required). This goes to say that
public spaces that are socially cultivated during the warmer days of spring, summer and
autumn are relevant variables in Milan but less in Manchester, meaning I have to take

392
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
393
This is my personal impression of researching in Milan.
394
The name NoLo (o en also Nolo) means North Loreto and is the branding of an area: See for example Alessandro Gerosa
and Maria Tartari. “The Bottom-up Place Branding of a Neighborhood: Analyzing a Case of Selective Empowerment. Space
and Culture. (July 2021). https://doi.org/10.1177/12063312211032355
395
See for example: https://nextcity.org/urbanist-news/italian-piazzas-the-future-of-public-space
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such cultural importance ascribed to spaces and simply the weather into account.
Alongside that is the infrastructure of semi-public spaces, so for example cafés, that are
highly internalised and routinised meeting points for all sorts of social occasions. In sum:
There is a network of meeting spaces all over Milan, of different kinds in different
neighbourhoods, offering a variety of opportunities for lonely people to find social
contact, distraction or even solitude.

The next aspect I want to mention for a typology that influences Milan and the experience
of loneliness is the issue of safety, here described by another respondent: “Because, you are
alone, it is very dark and sometimes happens that that person come back with you...not come back
with you but...you're in the way for....you have to go back to your home, your a girl at night, at 2 am
maybe and this person in your back is walking with you. Who is it? Who could he be? What can he
do? These are the questions and in these streets it is dangerous, but every street in Milan at night if
you are alone and a girl is scary and dangerous, there is not a place that is safe for you. It is just
396
like this for me, not for you.” Other respondents from Milan report similar experiences: “I
remember I was feeling super awkward because I was there by myself and they told me.. so they
told me, always be with a friend when you go to a club, never go alone, never stay alone. If a friend
leaves, you should leave as well and they told me that because they were feeling that you should not
397
be here alone in a club.” Here the issue of safety is described along the lines of a social
stigma: You are alone here, perhaps lonely but do not be alone/lonely here, as it is not safe. Safety,
especially the perceived safety, has been mentioned across all interviews, Manchester
included. In both cities, it is linked to certain streets, neighbourhoods or even districts.
This, I would say, is the most fundamental layer to people’s coping ability, even before
infrastructure provision or affordability and unfortunately, is a much greater concern for
females. Generally speaking, in such a vulnerable state that loneliness is, having to care
about personal safety or not feeling safe, especially as a woman, is an additional struggle.

That said, Manchester and many of the major cities in the United Kingdom are designed
in a very different way than a European city like Milan. The idea of living in an own
detached house or having a garden is connected to urban living whereas, in Milan, people
who can afford it would choose to move out of the city to realise that dream. For the
experience of loneliness, that means that once one experiences loneliness and is somewhat
disconnected from friends, one finds itself in a very monofunctional residential
environment, whereas in Milan, shopping and entertainment complexes, cafés and bars
and spread much more throughout, allow easier access to different parts of society,

396
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
397
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
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398
activities and social groups. That said, another mobility-oriented pattern is noticed that
shapes the coping behaviour: Whereas respondents in Milan may choose to leave the
house for a walk or a run to feel better, respondents in Manchester are less likely to do so,
especially at night time. Acts have to be planned more in terms of transport, influencing
the coping behaviour in general towards a stronger place-based approach: I leave my house
to go especially to that place.

In such a space, the general willingness to talk to strangers is much higher in Manchester,
so conversations can be more easily established in Manchester than in Milan. Here is an
example from a respondent from Manchester: “Like if the opportunity came about, then
actually some of the most wonderful conversation when I have been like been on a train or just
about to miss it and was having a crap day anyway and was crying, there has been times where
actually strangers have been the most wonderful sources of people, yeah. And I have done quite a
lot of travelling before so going into a brand new culture has always felt so like...anything which
shakes you up I think and felt so lonely but then a few weeks into it then you feel the complete
opposite, so sometimes you kind of just have to in my experience, you have to push through it,
experience it and then you will get through but yeah, strangers...I would not actively like sit on a
table with someone, like tell them everything but if life had given me this person and a
399
conversation sparked then…” Most people I talked to, despite some of them being socially
isolated with almost no social contacts, seemed socially open and approachable in terms
of small-talk and establishing a conversation. This may be further influenced by my lack of
Italian language, so I had the impression that people in Milan are approaching one
another more carefully and the chance of small talk leading to friendships, etc. seems
lower. Social contact has to become routinised over time before it becomes a relationship.
However, this raises the question of whether Manchester may perhaps provide better
social opportunities to cope with loneliness compared to Milan. It further adds to the
question of where loneliness can unfold socio-spatially and what characteristics such an
environment would have - an environment where loneliness is not talked about compared
to an environment where it is pushed into an ordinary experience. A young adult feeling
lonely in Manchester may be less surprised by that emotion, may have more cultural
400
legacy (such as music) to indulge in and will find more information about it online. This
on the other hand does not mean that dealing with it is any easier; in fact, with seemingly

398
Based on personal impressions and explorations of having lived in both cities.
399
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
400
Music is a central aspect, so for example are many so-called well-known bands from or around Manchester.
To name a few: Joy Division, Oasis and the Smiths. Their music is cultural heritage and reflects on many of the
negative experiences, thus people may be more sensibilized for such emotions.
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less social stigma around it, the experience of loneliness may be presented as a common
and ordinary experience. This may make it difficult for some to claim the space and
presence they would need, for example from their friends, who may be already very used to
hearing about loneliness. On the other hand, and this is a key point, the presence of more
loneliness data for the United Kingdom may not help or cure the experience - whether or
not people research loneliness and make music dealing with it and the concomitant
socio-cultural awareness may not change the experience for the individual. An additional
layer is that of Brexit. Brexit may add to my loneliness discussion here in two ways: First,
it split people in the United Kingdom into two groups, inevitably does an individual have
to choose between either side, but also it split everyone - mentally - more from the rest of
Europe, adding a general sense of geographical isolation to the culture for some, a
stronger feeling of independence (and perhaps) patriotism for others.

Lines of Comparison

Generally, the study of loneliness in Manchester and Milan is not designed to be

an equal comparative study. That is mainly because of my shorter research stay in
Manchester and the overload of data from the United Kingdom context, which was rather
helpful in getting a different perspective or approach to the situation in Milan. This
means that a er having gathered my Milanese data, I was le with many impressions that
I found difficult to make sense of, so for example whether or not a stigma around
loneliness may be Milan or Italian-specific. It also has to be kept in mind that the coping
behaviours I identified in Milan were much more diverse than the literature had
previously suggested. I henceforth felt the importance to add another layer to my research
to verify and reflect on my findings. I chose Manchester for the reason of the amount of
research and programs dealing with loneliness, trying to find out whether that translates
to the respondent's experience or whether they struggle with the same issues whilst being
lonely as my Milanese sample. I, therefore, see the importance to add to the Italian
context, as loneliness research here is developing and I hope to provide a sense of
direction and a set of ideas for this development. The following three main interests of
comparison have been part of this research:

Verify findings from Milan, for example, Social Stigma, Coping Behaviours
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- Are new coping behaviours to be found in the Manchester context? Is the social
stigma similarly influencing coping behaviour to the same degree in the Manchester
context?

Understanding how the amount of research and social organisations engaged

with loneliness influences the experience of people with it (to provide ground
for potential policies or charities) in the Milanese (and Italian) context
- How are people experiencing loneliness benefitting from the work of the government
and charities in terms of coping?

Work out how a different socio-spatial environment influences coping with

loneliness
- What elements can the two contexts mutually benefit from in terms of social events,
urban design, conceptualization and awareness of loneliness?

Research question
Research Gap

As stated, researching loneliness in the Italian context is pioneering work. There

have been studies concerned with loneliness in the Italian context. Here are a few
examples. It can be seen however, that many of these studies are concerned with the
lockdown or are reviewing existing studies:

Italians’ Social and Emotional Loneliness: The Results of Five Studies

- Vanda Lucia Zammuner, 2008

Social Integration and Loneliness: A Comparative Study among Older Adults in the
Netherlands and Tuscany, Italy
- Theo van Tilburg, Jenny de Jong Gierveld, Laura Lecchini, Donatella Marsiglia, 1998

Living arrangements of older adults in the Netherlands and Italy: Coresidence values and
behaviour and their consequences for loneliness
- Jenny de Jong Gierveld, Theo van Tilburg, 1999
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The challenge of mental health during Covid-19 outbreak: experience from metropolitan
area of Milan
- Federico Seghi, Barbara Barbini, Linda Franchini, Cristina Colombo, 2021

Facing Loneliness and Anxiety During the COVID-19 Isolation: The Role of Excessive
Social Media Use in a Sample of Italian Adults
- Valentina Boursier, Francesca Gioia, Alessandro Musetti; Adriano Schimmenti, 2020

Being lonely later in life: a qualitative study among Albanians and Moroccans in Italy
- Eralba Cela, Tineke Fokkema, 2016

Interventions for reducing loneliness: An umbrella review of intervention studies

- Nicola Veronese, et. al., 2020

The research landscape around loneliness in Italy is mainly concerned with measuring
loneliness, describing loneliness during the Covid-19 pandemic or using Italy as a
comparative country to analyse one specific aspect of loneliness. Additionally, there is an
overload of studies researching loneliness among the elderly. What is vastly missing in the
Italian context is a qualitative study of loneliness that aims at describing the experience of
loneliness, specifically for young adults. Such studies can be found in other geographical
contexts, so for example from the United Kingdom. Here are a few examples that served as
role models for this study:

Coping with loneliness at University: A qualitative interview study with students in the UK
- Konstantina Vasileiou, et. al., 2019

Connection, constraint, and coping: A qualitative study of experiences of loneliness during the
COVID-19 lockdown in the UK
- Phoebe McKenna-Plumley, et. al., 2021

The experience of loneliness of Canadian and Czech youth

- Ami Rokach, Natasha Bauer, Tricia Orzeck, 2003

Fortunately, the experience of loneliness has universal and specific characteristics,

meaning there are parts of the experience specific to every socio-spatial context and other
 134

401
parts being more globally shared. This means that I can take certain learnings away
from studies that have been taken in similar geographical contexts and add the local and
specific to my research. Here is a list of the open (or partly explored) research areas that
participate in my main research question explained in the next part of the chapter. Some
of these researches can be understood as cornerstones, so for example the change of
understanding of loneliness not as a problem but as a universal, biological response to a
402
social and/or emotional discrepancy. Such ‘philosophical’ underpinning is essential, as
for example if I were to study loneliness conceptualising it entirely as a problem, this
research would be differently designed.

401
Luzia Heu, et. al. “Loneliness across cultures with different levels of social embeddedness: A qualitative study”. Personal
Relationships, Vol, 28 No. 2, (2021): 379
402
John Cacioppo and William Patrick.. “Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009)
 135

Figure 16: Own Figure. Research Gaps and Connections

Research Question

Previously, I have identified gaps in loneliness research, or better speaking,

developments that could be crucial in understanding the phenomenon that has not been
researched thoroughly to my knowledge. By thoroughly I mean, relevant theories,
conclusions or connections to other topics that I could build upon in my research have not
been drawn. I have also displayed my mental model of conceptualising loneliness, to
provide a foundation and understanding of the process. Henceforth, my research question
entails many of the components previously identified and discussed:

How do young adults cope socially and spatially in public and semi-public spaces
within the experience of loneliness?
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To answer this research question, a hypothesis can be developed keeping in mind that a
person feeling lonely wants to eventually not feel lonely anymore. Either this means this
person has learned to live with loneliness or it means that this person has made changes
significant to one's life so that a buffer against loneliness has been built. This will be the
next part of this chapter. Additionally, this research question can be broken down into
another set of sub-questions. Here is a list of the different parts that will be answered
along this research before the final questions can be answered: First, it is relevant to
understand someone’s notion and conceptualisation of loneliness as this determines how
people will react to and cope with it. This includes previous experiences with loneliness,
the causes and a person’s ability to make sense of the experience. It also includes whether
a person experiences loneliness as a personal problem hindering everyday life or whether
people consider loneliness as part of human experience and universal or even inevitable,
or whether a person reacts strongly and negatively to it. Along these lines, it is relevant to
consider this person as an individual and as a social being - How dense is the social network?
What type of person is this person in terms of character and previous life path? To what degree is
this person integrated into a social network and has people to rely on? Hereby, it is further
relevant to gain an understanding of this person's everyday narrative when not feeling
lonely. The assumption is that each and every person defines and grasps loneliness in a
unique way closely related to the person’s life experiences itself, thus there is little trust to
be had in rigid definitions of loneliness but the definition provides rather a template that
some respondents may fit in better than others. Next, it is relevant to develop a
socio-spatial profile for this person, meaning in what ways, intensities, frequencies and
for what reason a person interacts with urban spaces (physically and socially). This is
usually learned over the length of an interview but sometimes more specific questions
were necessary, for the reason that not everyone thinks in-depth spatially (See later part
Socio-Spatial Coping Awareness). Closely related here is the question of narrative changes -
403
so what does actually change when becoming lonely compared to when not feeling lonely?
Some people may already have gained experience which may help them to buffer against
future loneliness, whereas others may be forced to develop such when starting to cope.
Alongside this, I am interested to ask how coping and urban spaces come together a priori
404
to the experience of loneliness. Earlier I have illustrated different coping mechanisms

403
Not necessarily, to compare a person’s narrative from lonely to non-lonely moments, but to understand a person’s
narrative. The lonely non-lonely comparison is difficult for the reason that for example a person may do the same activities,
but in different ways or with hopes for different outcomes. Similarly, loneliness is a process without a clear start or end.
404
Hereby I mean, in what ways urban spaces can be said to provide possibilities to what Kalevi Korpela called emotional
self-regulation. See for example Michael Mason, et. al., “Patterns of place-based self-regulation and associated mental health
of urban adolescents”, Journal of Community Psychology Vol. 38 No. 2. (2010)
 137

suggested by the literature, now it is necessary to think of ways urban spaces could be
utilised when facing challenges in life, in other words: What possibilities are there
actually existing in the city that could become relevant when faced with loneliness. Here is
a list:

- Every physical environment is also an individual or social resource

- Large cities provide ‘spectacle’-spaces to get lost and be distracted
- Large European cities are, to some degree, walkable
- One can choose to not leave one’s neighbourhood as all one needs is provided there
or expand towards the remotest parts of the city in a relatively short period of time
- Different modes of transport, for example, riding a bike, walking, metro, taxi to get
new perspectives of the city
- Choice of different events such as movie nights, concerts, theatres, clubs

Thus, urban spaces are spaces of potential but to utilise that potential, one has to have
enough energy, motivation and perhaps overcome social stigmas (for example when
wanting to start a conversation with a stranger). However, I consider them as containers of
possibilities and henceforth would like to suggest that living in the city becomes actually
more relevant when faced with loneliness, both in terms of possibilities and challenges.
The city is therefore intensifying the experience and perhaps demands more stark
behavioural responses. The experience of loneliness itself might provide the energy and
motivation to do so. Further noteworthy is the first word of my research question which is
closely related to my methodology (to be explained in PART III - Methodology and Methods).
Asking how aims at descriptive research and similarly suggest to some degree that this
research is a start from scratch. How hereby means in what ways, for what reasons, in what
manner and under which conditions following which aims do young adults cope with
loneliness. Next, I will present my hypothesis in two parts: general ones that aim at
capturing the experience of loneliness more broadly from a sociological point of view and
specific ones that are targeted assumptions for my sample of respondents.

Hypotheses
General
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Loneliness enforces a change in the everyday narrative of a person

Becoming lonely alters one’s perception. If no change in one’s everyday life will be
applied, it means having to live further through the same lonely experience. Therefore, the
changed behaviour will aim at restoring one’s well-being and eventually overcoming
loneliness. This is expected to be true regardless of whether people experience loneliness
mostly as harsh and painful for a prolonged period of time or find a positive outcome and
framework for themselves, although it can be argued that this would then not be
loneliness per sé an enjoyable aloneness termed solitude. The underlying assumption is
that if a lonely person does not change its everyday narrative, then this person will
continue to feel lonely. Eventually, loneliness may develop into depression or become
405
more painful, which in turn makes it even more difficult to deal with it. Thus, the
person experiencing loneliness will feel the need for change (in the broadest meaning of
the word). This is a very fundamental hypothesis, namely to acknowledge that there is an
individual, social, and spatial change to be expected or has already happened prior to my
interview.

Change of narrative aims at harmonisation and integration of movement with emotion

Listening to a certain song while walking a specific street, discovering similar emotions in
the face of a stranger or taking pictures of the sunset: There might be a certain early
coping stage that attempts to experience the feeling, harmonising with it internally and
identifying it. As much as loneliness might be experienced as being thrown out of
something, as much does this stage mobilise one’s individual resources to cling on to the
world around. This stage is the beginning of coping, meaning no specific agendas or aims
are lived out here but a feeling dwelled on in order to be able to generate specific (coping)
aims in the future. The pictures taken, the messages written and the songs listened to
might all indicate that that, which comes as sadness, is actually loneliness and that, which
seems painful, is actually helpful. It is also in this period that one starts to increasingly
reflect on one’s position in the world. This phase is a response to the need to change and it
may be further assumed that it is a pre-conscious experience, so that one may feel the
need to go for a walk which one may even find unusual as usually, one would not do that at
this day or time.

405
Evren Erzen and Çikrikci Özkan. “The effect of loneliness on depression: A meta-analysis”.
International Journal of Social Psychiatry. Vol. 64. No. 5. (2018). https://doi.org/10.1177/0020764018776349
 139

Coping and outcome of loneliness depend and interact with cause for loneliness
It should be safe to assume that the reason why one is lonely determines the coping
behaviour and therefore the desired outcome. This means that when researching lonely
young adults in urban spaces, the coping mechanism has to be seen in the context of the
origin of loneliness, without limiting the idea that several coping mechanisms might be
applied to more than one cause of loneliness. In fact, it may be rather the case that young
adults apply certain coping mechanisms differently from elderly people; the same counts
for people from different cultures and educational backgrounds that may not cast similar
patterns in coping despite similar origins. The specific hypothesis will explain this
assumption more concretely but to illustrate what is meant here: If a person feels lonely
because of a breakup with a partner, this person, not necessarily immediately, might seek
to find a new partner - an aim the coping behaviour revolves around. This person may
eventually then not feel lonely anymore if a new partner has been found.

Public and Semi-Public spaces are the spaces in which perception and daily narrative are changed
the most significant
The perception of lonely people will be a new focus on the physical design and function of
public and semi-public spaces, as they have to provide security and comfort from which
social interaction, directly or indirectly, will arise. When trying to overcome loneliness,
public and semi-public spaces are crucial. Third places such as cafés have been for a
406407
long-time in focus of loneliness researchers. In fact, Ying, Canter and Haas found out
that a neighbourhood café was rated very highly by young and old adults as a place one
408
would go to if lonely. Other relevant factors, resulting from the same study, when coping
with loneliness in public urban spaces is based on the provided feeling of safety in those
409
places. This may mean physical safety as lonely people might be overly sensitive to all
sorts of stimuli, as well as the activities carried out in those public spaces. The mentioned
study emphasises the importance of the design (for example hard and so -edges; open
410
spaces; materials) for the production of safety and social activities. Certain places may
therefore attract and attach lonely individuals and henceforth form the base for acquiring
or renewing social capital. This hypothesis is very well connected to the first hypothesis
that assumes a change in one’s everyday narrative. It is further noteworthy that such

406
Mark S. Rosenbaum, James Ward, Beth A. Walker, Amy L. Ostrom. “A Cup of Coffee with a Dash of Love.” Journal of
Service Research.” Vol. 10, No. 1. (2007)
407
Ray Oldenburg. “The Great Good Place.” (New York, Da Capo Press, 1997 [1989])
408
Jing Jing, David Canter and Tigran Haas. “Conceptualizing Public Space Using a Multiple Sorting Task–Exploring the
Links between Loneliness and Public Space.” Urban Science Vol. 3 No. 107. (2016)
409
Ibid: 15
410
Ibid.
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spaces are of my interest, because home spaces and work-spaces may not hold many
possibilities to change one’s behaviour - the possibilities to experience social connection,
solitude, distraction and new experiences may be limited by the routine established
already in such spaces.

Failed interactions can foster loneliness

For some, loneliness may be a continuous transition from moments of feeling alright to
moments of breaking down. This may create unpleasant emotions in private spheres or
more extreme behaviours in public spheres, for example continuously drinking alcohol
alone, different attitudes towards strangers, hyper-awareness and sensitivity. Moreover, it
can lead to wrong decision-making and further to self-punishment for wrong
decision-making. For example, failed social interactions may be a source of frustration for
oneself. That does not always mean interactions that are unpleasant, but it can also be that
given one that is lonely finds a place in a group of new people, these people might seem
desirable at first by offering new conversations, experiences, and moments but turn out to
be not matching one’s preferences. A erwards, the individual suffering loneliness might
be confronted with an even greater hurdle to encountering new people and may
temporarily give up. Whatever constitutes a failed interaction is subjective.

To summarise this part: If a young adult is lonely, this experience alters one’s experience
in everyday life. Continuing with the same everyday routine, same routes and rhythms will
mean going through the same experience all over again. Thus, the lonely young adult has
to change something. Whatever is changed, has to depend on the reason why this person
feels lonely, not always in a directly causal or reciprocal relationship. For example, only
because someone has difficulty finding new friends in a new space does not mean this
person will move back to the old place. Before any change, there is a stage of identifying
the source of the lonesome experience - that is the early stage of coping. In this period, the
person aims at coming to terms, here called harmonising, with the experience. Presumably,
if a young adult feels lonely, public and semi-public spaces are in focus. Those are the
spaces where to find other people and if, for example, someone met someone online,
where to meet this person offline, to take walks, take pictures, listen to music, and do
sports, in other words: These are spaces of possibilities that I presume will become even
more relevant for a person when feeling lonely or change their relevance. Important in
these spaces is the activity carried out, the degree of security they are providing and their
suitability for allowing for new contacts or individual moments of relief. All of this
depends on their material conditions such as location, scale, material, shelter, and edges
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and their non-material condition such as affordability, accessibility, and atmosphere. If an

interaction or new experience is pursued and it fails subjectively, for example by realising
other new people lead to a similarly negative personal experience, this may amplify
loneliness. Similarly one may find that socio-spatial experiences one has had when not
feeling lonely may become completely irrelevant in face of these experiences to be able to
buffer against loneliness: Meeting one’s friend on a Friday night out may not be
interesting anymore if these friendships are not capable of providing to the individual
needs of a lonely person.

Specific Scenarios
Scenario 1: Young adults being socially lonely attempt to become socially not-lonely
Reasons for social loneliness have been mentioned, but to complete the list more
specifically it may be useful to add economic and educational circumstances. It is easy to
imagine how being unemployed may keep someone living in a neighbourhood that does
not reflect that person. That someone may change places many times for the job, leaving
little space to build social relations or long-term friendships. The difficult part is that
loneliness puts the focus on the social relations that however may not be satisfying when
the economic situation does not allow for a change of place or pushes towards many
changes. What people may do, according to Perlman and Peplau, is to attempt to minimise
411
their loneliness. This can mean spending as much time as possible out of the
neighbourhood, not returning directly a er work has finished, spending as much time as
possible doing stress-relieving activities that are pleasant and distracting or any other
activity that offers relief.

In a different scenario, a person lives where he or she wants to live and has good friends
and colleagues. In this case, identifying the reason for loneliness is not always
straightforward thinking. This person may attempt to achieve an even higher level of
social contact, looking for new collective experiences whilst thinking about the past in
nostalgic terms, when such problems may not have existed. Another person may
experience that when changing the city to study, which may find interest amongst friends
- I envy you for being able to study there - but is yet another challenge to take on. This person,
having difficulties finding new friends, may create a form of parallel world, where he or
she lives physically somewhere but relies strongly on a social circle (via telephone and

411
Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness” Chapter 2 in Steve Duck and
Robin Gilmour. “Personal Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981): 53
 142

internet) from the hometown or area of origin. Again here, the social origin of loneliness
is an attempt to be cured socially, for example by intensifying the existing relationships.

Yet another person may have too many social relations and is missing time for privacy and
reflection. Loneliness may come as missing out on oneself, in some ways not being able to
develop individually. Amongst many persons around there might be no one to turn to, as
each and every relation rests on the premise that one is happy. This person may want to
steal time from those relations and spend it alone, if not, the social relations may suffer
qualitatively. It may be that this person starts looking for other, possibly less engaging
social relations. This means reducing the initially desired level of social contact up to a
412
minimum required for one’s well-being. Yet again here, it is a change in the social
network that provides the change necessary. Note how other intermediary steps, such as
being happy alone or escaping for the weekend can be applied in the meantime.

What all of the scenarios have in common is a change in one’s narrative. And for socially
lonely young adults, this may mean a social change. A social change in this regard is a
change that mainly involves becoming more or less social, or changing the space around
that social. Therefore, this hypothesis will be that those young adults being socially lonely
attempt to become socially not-lonely in a social way. New spatial experience alone can
mitigate the loneliness, but have to eventually end in something social, for example
joining a sports group. This specific hypothesis is relevant as I expect it to be the most
common type of loneliness across my target group. In even more general words, for most
people I will talk to, loneliness may have to do with other people that one either misses, is
unsatisfied with or hopes to benefit from.

Scenario 2: Young adults emotionally lonely may substitute loss with social relations
Becoming emotionally lonely can be very painful. Losing a partner (or losing access to that
person) or perhaps a family member requires painstaking work to be overcome and
process. At best, friends or other family members may help each other to bridge the period
of severe pain resulting from a loss. This could be termed substitute-period. In this period,
emotional loss is substituted with social relations (or possibly, similar to social loneliness,
with novel spatial experiences itself). However, I hypothesise that different from young
adults being socially lonely, this substitute cannot last forever and an emotional loss needs
an emotional replacement and only that potentially could fill the emotional gap. This
process can take months or years. Even if one loses a partner and eventually learns to live

412
Ibid: 52
 143

with that, certain triggers exist - memories for example - and they may at any time make
the pain to overcome present again. Therefore, my second hypothesis will be that
emotional lonely young adults have to make an even stronger attempt to substitute this
loss than socially lonely young adults. This in practical terms, may indicate more
outgoing, more vacation, more time off-work but with friends or family members or even
strangers. There is certainly the possibility that one finds oneself in a personal space of
contentment a er a break-up and not that every emotional loss has to be covered or cured
with an emotional gain. This may not happen in the period of loneliness that I am focused
on but rather be an outcome in the future. It may be so that sometimes, seeking a new
emotional connection may be a response without actually pursuing it, but so that the
possibility of finding another partner may be coping itself. Finding that opportunity may
relieve oneself in solitude - I feel that I do not have to be alone or single if I don’t want to.
Another coping mechanism might be that existing social relations gain importance or the
way a social relation is defined may change, for example here indicated my one respondent
from Milan: “I think now I also understand it better, that your partner is also your best friend in
the end. That is why it was so hard. My uncle did replace this spot of friendship and became
413
someone that is so close to you that you can feel comfortable.”

Lastly, two additional hypotheses for how being online may fall into those
above-mentioned scenarios. Even though the following hypotheses are not the central
focus of this research, being online with regard to loneliness has a certain importance,
given the amount of literature and the additional layer the Covid-19 pandemic has added.
I, therefore, have to suspect that online spaces and behaviour are closely knit together
with actual offline spaces.

Online may lead to offline - Offline may lead to online

Even if using dating apps, looking for a therapist or a new group to go on bike rides with,
online activities may lead into the offline sphere. This may be either directly by meeting
people offline met online previously or by applying new behavioural patterns read in a
blog about sadness or loneliness. Going online is a tool of possibility for lonely people. It
does not have to be related to social anxiety or shyness, but it provides another dimension
of potential help. It may however work in both ways: Even new acquaintances met offline
may provide social support in chats online, so for example when being locked during the
pandemic or during a period of self-isolation. In this hypothesis, I see online spaces as
potentially positive means to get through the experience of loneliness. It is also possible

413
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020).
 144

that the dichotomy of online and offline may not withstand the complex reality of it:
Instead of assuming one may prefer offline always over online, people may choose to dwell
in the comfort of their own flat chatting with people that live across the stress. As such,
lonely people may choose online possibilities to construct the most pleasant and safe
environment possible, depending on what they need at a certain moment in time.

Online may interfere with offline negatively

Being lonely may mean spending a lot of time online - not always at home but even in
public and semi-public space alike. One could argue that not only is the person spending a
lot of time online - for example on the smartphone - missing out on interaction
possibilities but also missing out on stimuli and sensations. Being online is mainly visual
and auditory, leaving out the taste, smell and touch for the vast part. Based on these
different experiences of being online or offline one could prefer one over the other into a
form of dependency - I prefer to chat with my friend even though I am with other friends, given
that these other friends do not reflect my needs tonight. Instead of starting the debate, one may
retreat into online spaces, making the hurdle to meet these other people the next time
higher by not actively engaging in the social interactions at hand. Here, loneliness infuses
the possibility of online contact and may render one out of otherwise fulfilling social
contacts based on one’s temporal needs and perceptions.

Focus area
Young Adults in Urban Space

In this last part of the chapter, I want to focus on my research interest in young
adults in urban spaces, more reflecting on the practicality of this research and the choices
to be made. There are a few learnings from the study of older adults that can be applied to
young adults as well, so is, for example, the assumption that social connection could help
to buffer against loneliness not false, but it is assumed that most young adults, except
people who are Hikkikomori (a growing phenomenon across Europe), have friends,
whereas older adults may experience loneliness more as social isolation than younger
414
adults. An exception to this idea is the case of Hikkikomori which I want to mention
here shortly: “The phenomenon of well-known social withdrawal in Japan is called
Hikikomori, a term coined by a psychiatrist, Saito. Saito described Hikikomori as withdrawing
from contact with family, having almost no friends, and not attending school for adolescent.

414
Marcus Tan, William Lee and Takahiro Kato. “International experience of hikikomori (prolonged social withdrawal) and
its relevance to psychiatric research”. BJPsych International. Vol 18 No. 2. (2020)
 145

Beginning from the late 1970s, Hikikomori has been a silent epidemic among teens and young
415
adults in Japan.” “In recent years, a new social phenomenon has been observed in Italy.
Unlike the first Japanese Hikikomori who adopted a lifestyle of social exclusion long
before the arrival of the Internet, in Italy, social withdrawal has been studied as a
consequence of Internet addiction because this condition is o en accompanied by the use
416
and abuse of the network.“ Further: “These kids do not go to school and do not even
leave the house. Such behaviour is accompanied by progressive withdrawal from
relationships with others and gradual retreat to their bedrooms. The wakefulness-sleep
cycle is strongly altered in all subjects. Time spent in one’s bedroom flows by, doing
nothing or, at best, engaging in solitary activities such as drawing, video games, reading
417
comics, using the internet and no contact with social networks.” However, most young
adults I have talked to had social and/or emotional relationships. But it was the
relationships they wanted but did not have with these people or with others that caused
them to feel lonely. It was rarely the absence of such relationships that caused their
loneliness.

The second point to make concerns me as a researcher. Firstly, my research is within the
limitations of finding access to lonely people and the concomitant language barriers of
Italian. A er this study, it is hard to estimate the number of people that did not pursue the
interview because of their language skills. In some cases, I have translated the most
important words but given the overall responses to my posts across Milanese
Facebook-groups, there is ground to believe that I would have had more responses overall
speaking Italian. Whether they would have changed the findings of my thesis remains
questionable. However, being able to only speak English I got to interview specific types
of young adults that mostly had a university degree or have been studying abroad or
moved around. This in return had a direct impact on their loneliness experience, which
o en resulted from moving around to work or study. This is not necessarily a limitation of
the study but rather a specific type of lonely young adults - finding a similar sample of
respondents in Manchester was more difficult consequently. Another point worth
mentioning is the fact that I choose young adults to be able to better relate to their
experience - more on that in the next chapter when talking about the methodology of this

415
Saitō T. Shaikaiteki.” Hikikomori: Owaranaishishunk [Hikikomori: Adolescence without end]”. (Tokyo: PHP Kenkyuujo,
1998) cited in Rosalba Morese, Sara Palermo, Carlotta Torello and Francesca Secchi. “Social Withdrawal and Mental Health:
An Interdisciplinary Approach”. Intech Open. (2020): 2
416
Rosalba Morese, Sara Palermo, Carlotta Torello and Francesca Secchi. “Social Withdrawal and Mental Health: An
Interdisciplinary Approach”. Intech Open. (2020): 3
417
Fiorenzo Ranieri. “When social withdrawal in adolescence becomes extreme: the “hikikomori” phenomenon in Italy.”
Journal of Psychiatry and Clinical Psychology. Vol 15. No. 3. (2015): 149
 146

study. That is because loneliness has been a personal experience for me, mainly for similar
reasons like many of my respondents; that is, having moved abroad and the concomitant
need to find friends and establish relationships. That said, I could o en rely on my
personal experience, especially when it came to the logic or mindsets that have driven
people’s behaviour when feeling lonely. Additionally, it helped to establish a mutual
sympathy for the course of the interview, as I not only relied on questioning people but
sometimes would talk about my own experience to create trust, a er having heard the
experience of respondents. One aspect to be aware of is to not put words in the mouth of
the respondents and whenever I felt that this happened, I questioned their experience
once again, leading them sometimes to clarify or explain more specifically what I initially
thought would be a similar experience to my own. In any case, I rarely gained the
impression that this was an issue, as the respondents that talked to me were confident
enough to open up about themselves and did not have to rely on other experiences to fill
their own mental gaps or make their experience more interesting.

Further, there is one interesting aspect of modern urban living that many young people
encounter in urban spaces, here summarised by one of my respondents from Manchester:
“Being hit by this paradox of walking around Manchester city [centre]...and like...being surrounded
by people like….trying to make your way through but feeling soulless as a result. [...] Just like there
418
are so many people here but I do not feel connected or I do not feel like I am seen or…” That is a
fascinating aspect of urban living, namely that despite many others around, one can
experience loneliness - perhaps, some may argue, precisely because many others are
around. Nevertheless, it was not until the architectural competition Eliminating Loneliness
Through Design in 2019, that I was confident enough to believe in the complex influence of
social interactions and socio-spatial influences of an urban environment on the experience
of loneliness. In this competition, the projects have demonstrated not only how the
understanding of loneliness varies from person to person, but also the variety of ways in
which even architects could grasp and spatially contribute to coping with loneliness:
Themes such as social connection, spatial control, privacy, observation of others people
and solitude as positive aloneness evolved from this competition and have thus inspired
419
me to start with this research.

PART III

418
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
419
Bubble Futures. “Eliminate Loneliness Through Design”. 2019. https://bubblefutures.com/eliminate-loneliness/
 147

Methodology and Methods

An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Loneliness

The last chapter closed with a statement about my own involvement in the
research. Henceforth, I chose a methodology within which my own experience could be
similarly part of the research process as my respondent’s experiences. This methodology
finds its theoretical origins in phenomenology and hermeneutics building upon the work
of Edmund Husserl, Martin Heidegger, and Maurice Merleau-Ponty. Edmund Husserl has
been the most influential of the three on the interpretative phenomenological analysis
(IPA) as it is used in this research: “For Husserl, phenomenology involves the careful
examination of human experience. He was particularly interested in finding a means by
which someone might come to accurately know their own experience of a given
phenomenon, and would do so with a depth and rigour which might allow them to identify
the essential qualities of that experience. [...] Husserl argued that we should ‘go back to the
things themselves.’ The ‘thing’ he is referring to, then, is the experiential content of
consciousness [...]. [A]dopting a phenomenological attitude involves and requires a
reflexive move, as we turn our gaze from, for example, objects in the world, and direct it
420421
inward, towards our perception of those objects.” Husserl’s ideas have been
consequently used and developed by other philosophers, such as the ones mentioned.
Before I move to the precise orientation within phenomenology - as such - I want to
explain what phenomenology is. Van Manen states: “[...] phenomenologists have implicitly
or explicitly defined phenomenology as the study of what it is that appears in
consciousness; or what is the eidos (unique meaning) of what shows itself or gives itself in
lived experience; or the study of how things (phenomena and events) give themselves to us;
or the quest for original understandings and insights into the phenomenality of human
422
experiences.“ In other words, as also understood in this study, a certain phenomenon
exists and is understood and captured through the lived experience of those who are
concerned by it, loneliness, for example. The other consideration that I would like to
address here is that phenomenology is more of a way of grasping the world than it is a
rather abstract concept. Van Manen continues: “But is it phenomenology?” could indeed
be, Are the questions and objectives phenomenological? Is the meaning aimed for in this
study phenomenological understanding or phenomenological insights? It should not be

420
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin. “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research” (London, Sage, 2009): 15-16
421
Edmund Husserl. Encyclopaedia Britannica. “Phenomenology.” (1927). See also
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Edmund-Husserl/Phenomenology-as-the-universal-science
422
Max Van Manen. “But is it phenomenology?”. Qualitative Health Research Vol. 27 No. 6. (2017): 775
 148

difficult to distinguish phenomenological meaning from psychological, (auto) biographic,

ethnographic, narrative, theoretic, case study, general qualitative, or conceptual meaning.
Numerous human science phenomenologists have implicitly or explicitly dedicated
themselves to phenomenology as the study of how things appear, show, or give themselves
423
in lived experience or in consciousness.” Therefore, phenomenology is a way of treating
424
the data and carrying out this research, as I will explain in the following.

In this chapter, I will mainly rely on psychologist Jonathan Smith, who has brought key
ideas from this phenomenological tradition into a methodological framework. Since I
believe this particular methodology may not be well known, I will explain its origin in a
few words and why I have chosen it for this research, quoting Smith here at length: “Two
important theoretical touchstones for this form of qualitative methodology are
phenomenology and symbolic interactionism. Phenomenological psychology, developing
from Husserl’s philosophy, can broadly be said to be concerned with an individual's
personal perception or account of an object or event as opposed to an attempt to produce
an objective statement of the object or event itself. [...] Symbolic interactionism argues
that the meanings individuals ascribe to events should be of central concern to the social
scientist but also that those meanings are only obtained through a process of
interpretation. It also considers that meanings occur (and are made sense of) in, and as a
425
result of, social interactions.” Both theoretical touchstones similarly reflect on the
multidisciplinarity of this methodology, which in that sense, reflects on the
multidisciplinarity of this research. Smith further states: “Psychologists have tended to
use quantitative, variable-centred methodologies to try to model components of coping
with illness while a number of sociologists have employed qualitative, phenomenological
approaches in an attempt to get closer to how individuals themselves perceive their illness
and to capture the process of their particular attempts to deal with it. There would clearly

423
Ibid.
424
It should be noted that phenomenology may be understood as a break in the continuation of philosophy
when it emerged. That is because, in the way Husserl understood it, the obective world that had been tried to be
understood “[...] by applying methods of natural sciences to human issues” was replaced by the idea of lived and
subjective experience. This break came as a movement and process, as Spiegelberg noted in 1960, within which
the focus turned to the consciousess of the individual but in different ways. Heidegger, different from Husserl,
for example, understood a person is inherently bound to its culture and history, seeking to understand itself:
“What does it mean to be a person or to live in this world?”. Husserls focused more on understanding things as
they are understood in a person’s consciousness: “How do we know what we know?”. For more information, I
recommend: Susann M. Laverty. “Hermeneutic Phenomenology and Phenomenology: A Comparison of
Historical and Methodological Considerations.” International Journal of Qualitative Methods Vol. 2 No. 3. (2003)
425
Jonathan Smith. “Beyond the divide between cognition and discourse: Using interpretative phenomenological analysis in
health psychology”. Psychology & Health. Vol. 11. No. 2. (2007): 263
 149

be value in some convergence of the two disciplines because much of the territory
explored by phenomenologically-oriented medical sociologists is as psychological as it is
426
sociological.” With a psychological component but sociologically focused on the
descriptive realities of people going through mental and/or physical experiences (I here
include emotional ones), this methodology is suitable for a qualitative study unravelling
the experience of loneliness for young people.

Thus on one hand, “[...] a phenomenologist may choose to focus on the way two people
may speak very differently about what is ostensibly, and medically [categorised] as, the
equivalent illness precisely because of the light that may shed on the subjective perceptual
427
processes which are operating in the person’s interpretation of their health status.”
Further, Todorova suggests: “As IPA becomes more prominent in an international sense,
one shi I would anticipate, and hope for, is ‘context’ to be clearly expanded to include
socio-cultural situatedness. The diversity of cultural and historical locations of the future
use of IPA would need to deepen the embeddedness of the analyses in cultural, political,
428
and historical ‘local worlds’.” Much of what has been said aligns with the way I have
introduced the phenomena of loneliness: Loneliness, an actual event in people’s life and
shared across many people globally, only made sense of individually and through social
interactions (or the absence of such). In the following part of the chapter, I will explain
some of the philosophical key concepts within, acknowledging that a longer debate on the
emergence of the key concepts (or terms and ideas) may exceed even the scope of this
thesis.

Overgaard and Zahavi state: “As part of their ongoing concern with the relation between
science and experience, phenomenologists have o en [emphasised] the importance of the
‘life-world’. The life-world is the world we ordinarily take for granted, the pre-scientific,
429
experientially given the world that we are familiar with and never call into question.”
“Phenomenology does not attempt to explain human nature through science. Rather, it
aims to make sense of scientific rationality and practice through detailed analyses of the
cognizing subject’s various forms of intentional experience. [...] The phenomenological

426
Ibid: 267
427
Ibid: 265
428
Irina Todorova. “Explorations with interpretative phenomenological analysis in different socio-cultural contexts.” Health
Psychology Review. Vol. 5 No. 1. (2011): 35-36
429
Soren Overgaard and Dan Zahavi. “Phenomenological Sociology The Subjectivity of Everyday Life”. Chapter 3 in
Michael Jacobsen. “Encountering the Everyday: An Introduction to the Sociologies of the Unnoticed”. (New York, Palgrave
Macmillan, 2009): 97
 150

430
examination of the life-world obviously constitutes an important part of this project.”
Such an approach came into existence as “Husserl rejected positivism’s absolute focus on
objective observations of external reality, and instead argued that phenomena, as
431
perceived by the individual’s consciousness, should be the object of scientific study.”
Within the study of individual life-worlds (or lifeworlds) - “‘[...] the world of lived experience
inhabited by us as conscious beings, and incorporating the way in which phenomena
(events, objects, emotions) appear to us in our conscious experience or everyday life’ - IPA
attends to all aspects of this lived experience, from the individual’s wishes, desires,
feelings, motivations, belief systems through to how these manifest themselves or not in
432433
behaviour and action.” In that sense, this research is the study of the lifeworlds of
people experiencing loneliness with a special focus on the socio-spatial environment of
urban spaces during this experience. Therefore, I am dealing with a very distinctive
environment within which the individual lifeworlds form, as Madsen and Plunz explain:
“But from the point of view of the individual as well as from the point of view of a
comprehensive urban analysis, the overall pattern of, and the interaction between, the
various types of buildings and ways of distributing and ordering must be taken into
consideration, as well as the ways in which artistic and other representations are
434
formative in the perceptions and interpretations of the urban.” Griffero explains the
urban lifeworld by using the term atmospheres - a helpful framework I have mentioned
earlier: “We have o en said that atmospheres are spatialised feelings: that is to say, they
are the specific emotional quality of a given ‘lived space’. By this concept (that had massive
philosophical success in the first half of the twentieth century and that was now brought
back to the fore in social sciences, where they even speak of a spatial turn) we here mean,
on first approximation, the space we experience in the lifeworld and to which plane
geometry turns out to be completely blind. For instance, geometry is incapable of
justifying the (not only metaphorical) volume of a Sunday silence or the narrowness of a
living room (perhaps metrically identical to another which is yet perceived as more
spacious); the enormous difference between the space filled with directional saliences
where the dancer moves and the anodyne one of someone crossing the same ballroom for

430
Ibid: 98
431
Brian Neubauer. Catherine Witkop and Lara Varpio. “How phenomenology can help us learn from the experiences of
others”. Perspectives on Medical Education. Vol. 8 Issue 2. (2019): 3
432
Edmund Husserl. Encyclopaedia Britannica. “Phenomenology.” (1927) cited in Joanna Brooks. The British Psychological
Society. “Learning from the ‘lifeworld’. (August 2015). (accessed: 25.04.2022),
https://thepsychologist.bps.org.uk/volume-28/august-2015/learning-lifeworld
433
Virginia Eatough and Jonathan Smith. “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis”. Chapter 11 in Carla Willig, Wendy
Stainton-Rogers. “The SAGE Handbook of Qualitative Research in Psychology”. (London, SAGE, 2008): 181
434
Peter Madsen and Richard Plunz. “The Urban Lifeworld: Formation, Perception, Representation”. (London, Routledge,
2002): 25
 151

no reason; the different length of a journey for someone who strolls casually and someone
with a precise destination in mind, but also, banally, for those who leave and those who
435
return.” In this research, there are different ideas of what such an atmosphere can be:
Loneliness, being a social experience, could be understood as one of such atmosphere that
touches the individual, rendering and filtering the perceived world around: “To have a
‘foggy mind’ is therefore the literal expression of the atmospheric perception of a wizened
world, in which every preview becomes impossible, in whose grey indifference we feel
436
depressed and lonely [...].” The objective layer is overlaid with subjective realities of
different times and zones - one lonely person may be reminded, by a house for example, of
a positive past, whereas another person may find the same building threatening. They
both share a part of their lifeworld within that building that occupies a central role for an
ephemeral moment. Hereby, “[...] the description of the phenomenological experience of,
for example, this particular house, was for Husserl just the first step. What he really
wanted to do was to get at the experience of ‘houseness’ more generally. While we have
unique perceptual experiences of different individual houses, these experiences also have
something in common.[t]he task for Husserl therefore was to try and establish what is at
the core of the subjective experience of a house, what is the ‘essence’ or ‘eidos’ or ‘idea’ of
437438
house.”

“When people are engaged with ‘an experience’ of something major in their lives, they
begin to reflect on the significance of what is happening and IPA research aims to engage
with these reflections. So an IPA researcher might be interested in looking in detail at
439
how someone makes sense of a major transition in their life [...].” An interpretive
phenomenological analysis will be appropriate as it will highlight the experience of being
lonely by describing (or carving out) the subjective experience of the lonely person. That
means that I am interested in capturing as much and as detailed the experience of lonely
people as possible. A special focus is on social interactions - and expectations,
self-presentations and perception of the surroundings. However, before any theory or the
general concept of the lived experience of lonely people can emerge or advance, this could
provide the necessary ground to understand the phenomenon in all its facets, such as what
has been mostly missing from the literature. Hereby, the phenomenological approach may

435
Tonino Griffero. “Atmospheres: Aesthetics of Emotional Spaces”. (Farnham, Ashgate, 2010): 36
436
Ibid: 57
437
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin. “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research” (London, Sage, 2009): 17-18
438
Edmund Husserl. Encyclopaedia Britannica. “Phenomenology.” (1927)
439
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin. “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research” (London, Sage, 2009): 8
 152

only seek general patterns or explanations by looking at the individual experience: “[...]
IPA is resolutely idiographic, focusing on the particular rather than the universal. This
implies a shi in focus from establishing causal laws to a concern with understanding
meaning in the individual life. For IPA, these two ways of acquiring knowledge do not
require an either/or stance. Rather, it argues for (a) the intensive examination of the
individual in her/his own right as an intrinsic part of psychology’s remit and (b) that the
440
logical route to universal laws and structures is an idiographic – nomothetic one, [...]”
Hereby, “[p]henomenologists ask the question: ‘What is the essence of experience of this
441
phenomenon for those who experience it?’” “The essences of a phenomenon, according
to Husserl, represented the true nature of that phenomenon. [...] In other words, the
challenge is to engage in the study of a person’s lived experience of a phenomenon that
highlights the universal essences of that phenomenon. This requires the researcher to
suspend his/her own attitudes, beliefs, and suppositions in order to focus on the
participants’ experience of the phenomenon and identify the essences of the
442443
phenomenon.” Such essence could be for example that for all respondents, the
experience of loneliness has also a positive characteristic of self-reflection: I aim is to
investigate what is at the very core of the experience of loneliness across all respondents,
which I will display within the concept of establishing coping behaviours.

Another key figure for the understanding of phenomenology in this thesis (and generally)
is Alfred Schütz. Schütz sought to combine phenomenology and sociology, attempting to
444
combine the work of Max Weber and Edmund Husserl: “Schütz turned at once to the
writings of Max Weber, and more particularly to his methodological considerations, for
clarification of this issue. In fact, Schütz saw Husserl and Weber as intimately related, and
a synthesis of the two as the most promising way forward for a sociology in which existing
philosophical problems would be subsumed. What attracted Schütz to Weber was the
latter’s insistence that sociology be grasped as a science of social action, where the action
is behaviour that is ‘subjectively meaningful’. Husserl, in the most general way possible,

440
Virginia Eatough and Jonathan Smith. “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis”. Chapter 11 in Carla Willig, Wendy
Stainton-Rogers. “The SAGE Handbook of Qualitative Research in Psychology”. (London, SAGE, 2008): 183
441
Michael Patton. “Qualitative Evaluation and Research Methods” (Newbury Park, SAGE, 1990) cited in Chi-Shiou Lin.
““Revealing the “Essence” of Things: Using Phenomenology in LIS Research.” Qualitative and Quantitative Methods in
Libraries (QQML). Vol. 2. No. 4. (2013): 470
442
Kay Lopez and Danny Willis. “Descriptive versus interpretive phenomenology: their contributions to nursing knowledge.
Qualitative Health Research Vol. 14. No. 5 (2004) cited in Brian Neubauer. Catherine Witkop and Lara Varpio. “How phenomenology
can help us learn from the experiences of others”. Perspectives on Medical Education. Vol. 8 Issue 2. (2019)
443
Brian Neubauer. Catherine Witkop and Lara Varpio. “How phenomenology can help us learn from the experiences of
others”. Perspectives on Medical Education. Vol. 8 Issue 2. (2019): 4
444
Harvie Ferguson. “Phenomenological Sociology: Phenomenological Sociology Experience & Insight in Modern Society”.
(London, SAGE, 2006): 91 ff.
 153

had described reality in terms of consciousness; that is, as the givenness of meaningful
content. Schütz argues that Weber and Husserl come together in the proposition that
‘[t]he structure of the social world can be disclosed as a structure of intelligible intentional
445
meanings’.” Within this context, Schütz is interested in the analysis of social structures,
so for example in the idea of intersubjectivity: “[...] intersubjectivity usually denotes some
set of relations, meanings, structures, practices, experiences, or phenomena evident in
human life that cannot be reduced to or comprehended entirely in terms of either
subjectivity (concerning psychological states of individual actors) or objectivity
446
(concerning brute empirical facts about the objective world).” “What is needed is a
systematic examination of everyday life, and this requires a new type of sociological
theory. Schütz’s concrete contribution here was twofold. First, he aimed to describe and
analyse the essential structures of the life world. Second, he offered an account of the way
in which subjectivity is involved in the construction of social meaning, social actions and
447
situations – indeed social ‘worlds’.

Keeping the idea of intersubjectivity in mind as a means to grasp reality not as objective
and neither subjective (but rather constructed through social interaction), I want to
introduce the last key term, which is intentionality. About Husserl, Smith states: “He
invokes the technical term intentionality to describe the relationship between the process
occurring in consciousness, and the object of attention for that process. So in
phenomenological terms, experience or consciousness is always consciousness of
something – seeing is seeing of something, remembering is remembering of something,
448
judging is judging of something.” Polio, Henley and Thompson added: “[I]ntentionality
is meant to [emphasise] that human experience is continuously directed toward a world
449
that it never possesses in its entirety but toward which it is always directed.” And more
specifically regarding emotional experiences, Montague states: “Whatever else it is,
emotion is always a response to a state of affairs' perceived value or disvalue: one is angry
at being treated unjustly, joyful about a desired outcome, sad about a death. [...] In having

445
Alfred Schütz. “The Phenomenology of the Social World.” [translated by George Walsh and Frederick Lehnert].
(Evanston, Northwestern University Press, 1967) referred to in Harvie Ferguson. “Phenomenological Sociology:
Phenomenological Sociology Experience & Insight in Modern Society”. (London, SAGE, 2006): 92
446
Encyclopaedia. “Intersubjectivity”. (May 2018). (accessed: 25.04.2022).
https://www.encyclopedia.com/social-sciences-and-law/sociology-and-social-reform/sociology-general-terms-and-concepts/intersubjectivity
447
Soren Overgaard and Dan Zahavi. “Phenomenological Sociology The Subjectivity of Everyday Life”. Chapter 3 in
Michael Jacobsen. “Encountering the Everyday: An Introduction to the Sociologies of the Unnoticed”. (New York, Palgrave
Macmillan, 2009): 100
448
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin, “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research”, (London, Sage, 2009): 17
449
Howard Pollio. Tracey Henley and Craig Thompson. “The Phenomenology of Everyday Life.” (Cambridge University
Press: Cambridge, 1997): 7
 154

450
emotions, one takes an emotional intentional stance towards the world.” My
understanding of the two concepts intersubjectivity and intentionality and loneliness: The
subject is intentionally conscious about loneliness, that is, its thoughts or actions are
formed around it and are directed towards it. Secondly, this knowledge of loneliness drives
one’s actions towards addressing the emotion, that is, to cope with it - which is most
likely in one way or another intersubjective, that is, related to other people or their
absence. “Phenomenologists generally stress that social reality should not be conceived as
a fixed and objective external reality. Rather, social reality is essentially a product of
human activity. [...] This is obviously not the achievement of isolated individuals acting
alone; most of our typical assumptions, expectations and prescriptions, indeed, are socially
451
derived.” Various intentions and intersubjective actions form the individual and social
lifeworld of my respondents. In all of these intentions and intersubjective actions, certain
essences are foundational, namely, what is tried to be achieved by a certain action and
similarly, what is the outcome of it?

A Phenomenological Reading of Young Adults in Urban Space

It is now time to move toward a closer phenomenological understanding of young

adults coping with loneliness in urban spaces. First, I want to come back to some
structural elements of this research design by referring to William Sadler’s work - a
contemporary of Robert Weiss and the main reviewer of Weiss’ work on social and
emotional loneliness. Sadler says that “[...] [t]here are four stages which can easily be
sorted out and align with my own conceptual model: 1) a causal stage; 2) the experience
itself; 3) consequences of it; 4) attempted responses to cope with it. Many commentators
on loneliness tend to mix up these stages by confusing the experience itself with
452453
something that precedes or flows from it.” This goes in line with my own
understanding of loneliness, despite the fact that I will consider the coping mechanism
not as the fourth stage but as a sort of overlaying (guiding) structure on the consequence
and behaviour part. That is because this phenomenological research cannot and perhaps
should not be a distinction between the experience and the coping, assuming that coping

450
Michelle Montague. “The Logic, Intentionality, and Phenomenology of Emotion”. Philosophical Studies: An International
Journal for Philosophy in the Analytic Tradition Vol. 145. No. 2. (2009): 189
451
Soren Overgaard and Dan Zahavi. “Phenomenological Sociology The Subjectivity of Everyday Life”. Chapter 3 in
Michael Jacobsen. “Encountering the Everyday: An Introduction to the Sociologies of the Unnoticed”. (New York, Palgrave
Macmillan, 2009): 93
452
William Sadler. “Loneliness: The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation by Robert S. Weiss: Review by William
Sadler”. Contemporary Sociology. Vol. 4. (1975)
453
William Sadler. “Dimensions in the Problem of Loneliness: A phenomenological approach in social psychology.” ,Journal
of Phenomenological Psychology Vol. 9. No. 1-2 (1978): 159-160
 155

is a permanent and regulative process of the experience itself. In the words of David
Seamon - an American geographer: “A phenomenological environmental psychology can
not separate behaviour from experience, fact from meaning, or existing world from
454
possible world.”

The question arises, what are some of the peculiarities of a phenomenological reading of
young adults (within the experience of loneliness) and their use of urban spaces. In other
words: What are the specificities of young adults going through such an emotional experience? To
better grasp that, I would like to come back to an idea from phenomenological research,
that is intentionality. As Pollio, Henley and Thompson explain, intentionality "[...] is
meant to emphasise that human experience is continuously directed toward a world that it
455
never possesses in its entirety but toward which it is always directed." Intentionality,
therefore, "[...] is a basic structure of human existence that captures the fact that human
beings are fundamentally related to the contexts in which they live or, more
456
philosophically, that all being is to be understood as `being-in-the-world'." “A truly
radical, phenomenologically inspired environmental psychology works for a
re-interpretation of the person-environment interface, starting from the crucial
recognition that any subject-object or person-environment relationship is illusory; that
people are not separate from their world but immersed in it through a multifaceted net of
intentionalities, including those of body and emotions. Because physical and geographical
environments mark a central theme in maintaining the integrity of environmental
psychology as an autonomous discipline, a phenomenological interpretation must
[emphasise] being-in-the-geographical-world but also provide linkages with other aspects
457
of human living, for example, being-in-the-social-world.”

Combining the different ideas of intentionality, experience and attachments, one could
start to focus on one of such attachments that may be relevant in the course of loneliness,
that is, the private home. The question then becomes in what manner a young person’s
intention - relationship towards one’s home - changes when becoming lonely, so for
example is it becoming a safe space to take refuge or a social space to invite intimate
friends? On the other hand, one may ask specifically about urban spaces, in what way one

454
David Seamon. “The Phenomenological Contribution to Environmental Psychology”. Journal of Environmental Psychology
Vol. 2 (1989): 136
455
Howard Pollio. Tracey Henley and Craig Thompson. “The Phenomenology of Everyday Life.” (Cambridge University
Press: Cambridge, 1997): 169
456
Ibid: 7
457
David Seamon. “The Phenomenological Contribution to Environmental Psychology”. Journal of Environmental Psychology
Vol. 2 (1989): 135
 156

chooses one space over the other for its social potential, that is, not necessarily what
social interactions can occur, but to what degree one understands these interactions as a
means of coping with loneliness. It is to be kept in mind, as stated elsewhere and in line
with a holistic view of being-in-the-world that one who experiences loneliness goes about
one’s everyday life in the condition of loneliness - it is not separated from oneself and
rather the tone or colour of one’s everyday lifeworld. However, I would like to offer a few
phenomenological thoughts on young adults in urban spaces along with the idea of
intentionality and intersubjectivity. Here is an example from one of my respondents from
Manchester: “[...] urban walks...I still get the same what I understand people say when they get a
walk to clear their head...I use kind of like A-roads and motorway bridges to achieve that...I do
458
find some kind of relaxation in that, just the background noise of cars...just the street lamps.”
The idea of this respondent is to clear the head, to find or even to produce harmony within
himself by bringing himself in tune with the surroundings. This person chooses the
absence of any intersubjective interaction for the purpose of intensifying emotions
through the intentionality directed towards an environment that matches this person's
mood. It could be said that this person constructs a lifeworld based on the initial feelings
of loneliness. Such behaviour could be termed, in line with Weiss, a “driving restlessness”
and motivates one to approach other people or other settings precisely because of its
459
ability to make one feel ‘better’.

One may have to understand that the experience of loneliness at the age of a young adult
in an urban space is most likely the second main separation in this person’s life, a er
being separated from parents when younger, that is being separated from an object of
intimacy. Loneliness here comes present as the need to find a similar attachment - for
example by finding a home or good friends - to replace the lost object. Their lifeworld is
therefore a lifeworld in the making. Loneliness becomes part of this making, also to be
understood as a process of identification via friends, partners and spaces. As loneliness
could be seen as inherently part of young adults' identification and socialisation process,
it becomes, phenomenologically speaking, an ordinary or common experience in its
essence, that is highly diverse and differs between people. One of the questions to ask,
that pre-determines any investigation, is if there is any space (literally and metaphorically)
to be lonely in the city. This availability of spaces to be lonely influences my findings, as
one may ask if loneliness is constantly felt under, for example, social suppression or if the
experience can unfold itself in various ways, that is, one can actually be a

458
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021).
459
Robert Weiss, Loneliness. “The Experience of Emotional and Social Isolation.” (Cambridge, MIT Press, 1975): 22
 157

lonely-being-in-the-world. Here are two quotes from one respondent from Milan to
illustrate the spatial conceptualization of loneliness: “Here, one of my favourite places is a
place, a bar, a pub, that is Saloon of the Artists in Moscova. There, you can be literally what you
want to be [so perhaps also being lonely] and is literally a saloon, a western saloon, you have the
doors that make this and I am...my friends are usually there and the owner of the place is my friend
too so we talk a lot, we laugh, we sing, we drink. [...] Because there is a lot of bars and bar is the
place where you can meet people, so the focus is the bar. But the type of defines the type of people
you can meet because if I go to Corso Como it is different than going to NoLo or Crescenzago
nearby, because you have expectations, because here is the richest part, here is the normal part, so I
am looking for an alternative, indie part in Milan that is NoLo and Brera, is a Conne di San
Lorenzo...this part here and it is not really important because the fact get in a bar, look around and
460
understand what kind of person is your type and go.”

In this chapter, I have shown a basic understanding of IPA and discussed some ways of
which my particular research focus could be read along these lines. One last question is to
which extent and where in the process my socio-spatial theory, consisting of social capital
and place attachment will find its place in this methodology: “In IPA, primary research
questions, and the subsequent interview questions which may devolve from them, are not
usually theory-driven (see later in this chapter for more on this). But a literature review
should help you to identify a gap which your research question can then address, and it
461
should also help you to learn something about your participants.” Further VanScoy and
Evenstad state: “An IPA study, rather than being guided by a particular theory, seeks to
describe and interpret lived experience, then relate the findings to existing theory. The
theory is as important to an IPA study as to a study where theory is used to generate a
hypothesis. It is of critical importance in developing an initial research topic and a er the
462
data has been [analysed], as a way of making sense of the analysis.” Hence, the existing
theories I rely on will be a constant support of my analysis and I aim as well to think
through the theories along with my own findings, to possibly extend, enhance or further
these theories, yet perhaps to open up new grounds of research within these theories.
Here is a short list of some of the cornerstones:

460
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
461
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin, “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research”, (London, Sage, 2009): 44
462
Amy VanScoy and Solveig Beyza Evenstad. “Interpretative phenomenological analysis for LIS research”. Journal of
Documentation. Vol. 71 No. 2. (2015): 341
 158

- Young adults have le their home (for example family-) environment

- Young adults moved to the city to start to study, work
- Young adults form friendships and romantic relationships (in short: social attachments)
- Young adults actively (or perhaps more actively than older adults or simply differently)
participate in urban social life
- Processes of socialisation, identification within which loneliness may be part of

Narratives of Loneliness

“[...] [S]tarting work, having a first child, losing a parent – or [...] for example,
whether to emigrate to a new country, or to take a genetic test, or to commit to an elite
sport. [...] What they all have in common is that they are of major significance to the
person, who will then engage in a considerable amount of reflecting, thinking and feeling
463
as they work through what it means.” In that sense, people are making sense of the
loneliness they are experiencing, mainly because it may be perceived as an unpleasant
state. That circumstance however should help me to gather data. Hereby, it is to be kept in
mind that I have to “[...] [r]esist the urge to interpret what you are being told while the
interview is still underway. It is o en tempting to test out interpretations, connections
and other insights of your own during the interview, particularly if you are some way into
a sequence of data collection. Obviously, it is reasonable to check that you have
understood your participant (and so you might ask them to confirm this), but remember
464
that anything more is analysis, and is generally best le to subsequent stages.”

Additionally, I did have not a clear notion beforehand of which stages of people's
experience of loneliness I will encounter them, which means that at the beginning of the
interview, I started with general questions to allow myself to gain an overview of the
participants' experience. Such a general question or trigger could be: Tell me about your
experience with loneliness or Could you tell me a bit about yourself? In most cases, people
displayed their reason for loneliness already here, almost as if they wanted to get it off
their chest as quickly as possible. Here is an example of a respondent from Milan: “I was in
my 20s so I think this the best time of life for a lot of people, so I had this memory of Milan like a
place where you can easily meet people, new people, also an international place, a meeting point
so I thought, this is where I have to go to start a new life again also because my ex-husband was

463
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin, “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research”, (London, Sage, 2009): 8
464
Ibid: 67
 159

living in Urbino still and so it was a small place for both of us, so I had to move and at the
beginning, it was really exciting because I met a lot of old friends, that I used to have at the
university time but then I realised that something really changed in this city and also maybe just
the time we are living in that the connections with people are really virtual and not so easy to meet
465
people in real life.” This first question therefore o en sets the tone for the interview and I
already knew which are the main pillars of the forthcoming narrative. Notably, not only is
people’s experience subjective in the sense of this research, but it is also subjective to
them. This created an interesting situation: A er 30 interviews, some form of routine had
been part of my interviewing whereas for the respondent, this was interview number one.
They were thus o en curious about others, seeing the potential to categorise their own
experience amongst other interviewees of mine.

My preferred method for doing this research is the Narrative Interview: “Narrative
interviewing is a method of qualitative data collection whereby a story is generated
through the interview. Commonly thought of in comparison to other types of qualitative
interviewing (semi-structured, structured), instead of placing emphasis on a
question-answer format, the purpose of Narrative Interviews is to provide an opportunity
for the participant to narrate his or her experience for the researcher. This represents a
shi in the way roles are [conceptualised]: from interviewer–interviewee into
466
narrator–listener.” Such a method “[..] is appropriate for use in studies where the goal is
467
to understand how individuals discursively construct their experiences.” It was also
relevant to not overly structure or limit the respondents' answers. As stated earlier,
loneliness is a transient experience with a cause (or several) a coping behaviour (or several)
and an outcome (or several) and thus, the respondents should decide on their own to
which degree they want to talk about the different stages. It should be said that I prepared
questions or thematic blocks to guide the narrative and make it comparable in the
analysis, but I did not follow a question-answer pattern strictly, although some
respondents seemed to need this pattern to structure their own narrative: “In a Narrative
Interview one does not just let the story happen, rather the interviewer must invite the
participant to tell his or her story. This comes from knowledge about what the participant
468
can tell and then knowing how to invite the participant to tell.” However, whereas some
respondent’s approaches worked well, others were inherently relying on questions to keep

465
Interview. Milan. (December 2021)
466
Mike Allen. “Narrative Interviewing: “The SAGE Encyclopedia of Communication Research Methods”,.(Thousand Oaks,
SAGE, 2017): 1113
467
Ibid: 1073
468
Ibid.
 160

going, almost needing re-affirmation of my interest in their experience: “The researcher

must also be prepared to not only actively listen to the narrative but also be emotionally
attentive to the participant. The development of rapport, or sense of trust and connection,
is important to any type of qualitative interview, but in the Narrative Interview, the
researcher must be even more skilled at building and maintaining a connection with the
participant. This creates a safe space for the participant to tell his or her story and
contributes in positive and effective ways to the construction of meaning within the
469
narrative.”

“Carrying out your interview relies on two orienting tasks: the first is to listen closely to
the participant for points in need of clarification and further generation of meaning; the
second is to locate and place on hold points in the interview to which you may return later
470
for elaboration or on which you may invite the participant to critically reflect.” Of
course, the narrative as presented by the respondents is not necessarily follow a linear
line, but entries concerning the cause of loneliness can be found later during the
interview, that is, trust between the respondent and me may have been built or other
stories may have come up. The latter is very important, as respondents have to feel
confident and trust me when being interviewed. It could almost be said that the interview
is a mutual agreement to build up social capital for the length of the interview so that
within this production of capital, respondents can safely contribute their experience to
this research and I will benefit from it as knowledge. One aspect of building social capital
is reciprocity. Patti Lather refers to reciprocity as the “[...] ‘give and take, a mutual
negotiation of meaning and power’. This give and take occur in communicative space,
which is the space of engagement between the researcher and participant. It also occurs in
471
conceptual space, which is the space of engagement between data and theory.” This
concept is highly relevant and argues that on one hand, there is a communicative space
which may be based on mutual understanding, respect and listening. On the other hand,
there is a conceptual space that the researcher, perhaps also the respondents, brings into
the interview. The conceptual space offers ideas, theories or possibly even hypotheses -
not as an explanation for the answer of the respondents, but as an additional frame to
discuss. That means it is eligible to create “[...] an exchange between the empirical data as
it is collected and [analysed] and the theory embedded in one’s questions, framework, and

469
Ibid: 1073-1074
470
Anne Galletta. “Mastering the Semi-Structured Interview and Beyond”, (New York University Press, New York, 2013): 77
471
Patti Lather. “Research as praxis”. Harvard Educational Review. Vol. 56 No. 3. (1986) cited in Anne Galletta. “Mastering
the Semi-Structured Interview and Beyond”, (New York University Press, New York, 2013): 77
 161

472473
design.” Such conceptual space is opened up by questions such as How would you define
loneliness? or Can you describe your perception of your environment when feeling lonely?

Another important aspect of the Narrative Interview, perhaps any interview, is reflexivity.
“Through reflexivity, the researcher looks within the research activities, as well as within
the relationship between the researcher and her or his participants, in order to locate
potential interference. Interference is likely to alter the data and your interpretation.
Reflexivity requires the researcher to be vigilant, always anticipating ways in which
474
research methods and ethics may be compromised.” This points to a critical reflection in
real time and if needed on various scales: The ethical scale where I have to be careful to
not be intimidating or not sensitive enough and the research scale where the question to
ask is that of data saturation; but as well important to trigger or help and support the
respondent to be reflective about what he or she says. In a Narrative Interview, the
researcher is not just a passive listener. “The researcher is part of the context from which
the participant is telling his or her story, thus the researcher influences the interview as a
meaning-making experience. For this reason, the relationship between the researcher and
participant becomes important because the interview is a collaboration and includes the
active involvement of the researcher as both listener and facilitator. The researcher and
475
participant jointly negotiate a co-constructed meaning through the narrative.” To
illustrate some of the aspects being said, or the process of the interview, I would like to
present some questions and themes I have used for my interviews. There are layers to
these questions: The thematic block, such as Encountering Loneliness when investigating
the causes, the guiding questions in bold, that I have attempted to ask every respondent
and further questions to trigger the narrative in case the respondent needed a more
tightly-knit structure. The full questions in Appendix A.

Encountering Loneliness
When does someone enter your comfort zone? - Which emotions are involved in the
experience of loneliness? - How did it feel to be around friends, strangers and
acquaintances? - Has loneliness closed you in or opened you up? - What changes in

472
Anne Galletta. “Mastering the Semi-Structured Interview and Beyond”, (New York University Press, New York, 2013): 77
473
Ibid.
474
Ibid. 104
475
Mike Allen. “Narrative Interviewing: “The SAGE Encyclopedia of Communication Research Methods”,.(Thousand Oaks,
SAGE, 2017): 1074
 162

your perception or when doing activities whilst feeling lonely did you notice? - Are
you more or less focused on people/spaces when being lonely?

Locating Loneliness
What do you do when you are lonely? - How did your everyday life change in this
period? - Do you try to dwell on those emotions or want to overcome them
immediately? - What role does your neighbourhood play in your everyday life when
you feel lonely? - Were there places that mattered/started to matter in the process
of loneliness? - Did you feel the need to encounter new people or to find a new
partner when feeling lonely? - Do you go out alone when feeling lonely? - How have
you coped/dealt with the feeling of loneliness? - Where did you spend most of your
time when feeling lonely? - Interaction and Encounter: How would you place these
terms in your everyday life? - Are there certain places that gained importance for you
while you were lonely?

Leaving Loneliness
Does this period still influence your everyday life? How do you react if someone
else tells you about his/her loneliness?

Lockdown
How did your everyday life look and change during the pandemic? - Would you say
the lockdown has only reinforced existing emotions for you or created new ones as
well? - What were you missing the most from urban life during a lockdown?

Depending on the what respondent had to say or how eager the respondent was to engage
with me, I asked questions from each section and already redirected the interview
between the different sections if I felt the respondent needed a thematic change due to
some overly emotional questions, so for example suicide-related. In case of
misunderstanding due to the language barrier in the Milanese context, which rarely
happened, I translated the most important keywords and my research question:

Loneliness: Solitudine- Isolation: Isolamente; Social Isolation: Isolamente Soziale; Spatial

Isolation: Isolamente Spaziale; Aloneness: L'essere solo; Public Space: Spazio Pubblico;
Semi-Public Space: Spazio Semi-Pubblico; Private Space: Spazio Privato
 163

Research Question:
Come affrontare la propria solitudine in relazione agli spazi pubblici e semipubblici? Or Come
si utilizzano gli spazi pubblici e semi-pubblici quando ci si sente soli?

Additionally, if I would speak to a respondent that finds it difficult to deal with the
loneliness I had the following numbers prepared: Hotline: 800 0655 10 (Red Cross) or 02
2327 2327 (Telefono Amico). Fortunately, most people whose loneliness (sometimes
coupled with depression) was overwhelming, were already consulting a therapist or
speaking to a friend about these issues. Only in two or three cases did I have the
impression that this person struggles majorly to think of more ideas of how to cope. By
looking merely at the transcriptions, that could not be told but was rather transmitted in
the way people described happenings and the tone of voice used. To illustrate this, I would
like to show one example. As I did preliminary interviews in the very beginning of 2020,
prior to the lockdown, I encountered one respondent from Milan (though not originally)
that said the following:

“My question: Could you describe with a few adjectives how loneliness felt for you before and what
I meant now to be lonely?

Only one description comes to my mind.. Rather a metaphor.. Before it was like a general regime
penal colony (with a cellmate) but with meals and walk times when you can interact with the others
and now I’m in a proper isolated confinement when all people I know are reachable only on the
phone/skype.

I’m no longer fluent in language and can’t freely communicate; I can’t find the job I’d be satisfied
with and am mostly staying at home; I have no friends (I do have a boyfriend I’m living with
476
though now I see we are not a good match).”

Such statements remained rare and unfortunately, I could not maintain contact with that
person - some people would simply decide to not pursue any further contact with me. In
another example from Manchester, I similarly had the understanding that the respondent
struggled majorly: “[...] nothing is going to hand to me from this point, I have to really work to be
able to achieve the kind of level of social life I feel I want I am going to have work hard to try and
engineer that...it might work, which will be great but if it does not….it will get longer in-between

476
Preliminary Interview. Written Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
 164

periods of time of seeing people...hope that some good friends get divorced or whatever and they
come back to the city.” And further, relating to the lockdown, this person said: “I quite easily
slip through the cracks and if I am not careful...in the post-covid times...I made a conscious effort
to keep going into work...so there were other voices. If I would have spent 18 months in my flat, I
477
feel I would have disappeared completely.”

Walking and Talking

I am mentioning the methods of Walking Interviews and Think-Aloud-Walks here, as

I consider such an approach generally useful. However, in this research, I have relied on
the narrative interview and was consequently only able to follow up on these methods here
with two respondents. I would suggest that a researcher investigating the socio-spatial
experience of a person in any emotional condition, may start off by using Walking
Interviews or Think-Aloud-Walks. Generally speaking, “[w]alking in the street stimulates a
multisensory experience of the surrounding environment for both the researcher and the
participant. Walking helps to reduce possible power dynamics between the interviewer
and the interviewee being based in a less formal environment and can improve the
relationship between them because the place itself functions as a co-producer of
478479480
dialogue.” Henceforth, I intended early on to conduct Walking Interviews as follow-up
conversations with some respondents whose experiences were highly place-based.
Further, “Hitchins and Jones showed that interviewees found it easier to talk about
feelings and experiences when near the places symbolic of the tragic event, allowing them
481
to subsequently provide richer data.” Indeed, bodily movements might trigger thinking
and allow for more casual interactions between researcher and respondent. From my
understanding, a Walking Interview is a necessary and helpful tool when one wants to talk

477
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
478
Mags Adams and Simon Guy. “Editorial: Senses and the City.” The Senses and Society, Senses and the city. Vol. 2. No. 2.
(2007) in Danila D’Errico and Nigel Hunt. “Place responsiveness: IPA walking interviews to explore participants’ responses
to natural disasters”. Qualitative Research in Psychology. Vol. 16. No. 2 (2019): 3
479
Richard Carpiano. “Come take a walk with me: the ‘go-along’ interview as a novel method for studying the implications
of place for health and well-being”. Health & Place. Vol. 15, No. 1. (2009) cited in Danila D’Errico and Nigel Hunt. “Place
responsiveness: IPA walking interviews to explore participants’ responses to natural disasters”. Qualitative Research in
Psychology. Vol. 16. No. 2 (2019): 3
480
Lyndsay Brown and Kevin Durrheim. “Different kinds of knowing: generating qualitative data through mobile
interviewing”. Qualitative Inquiry. Vol. 15. No. 5. (2009) cited in Danila D’Errico and Nigel Hunt. “Place responsiveness: IPA
walking interviews to explore participants’ responses to natural disasters”. Qualitative Research in Psychology. Vol. 16. No. 2
(2019): 4
481
Russell Hitchings and Verity Jones. “Living with plants and the exploration of botanical encounter within human
geographic research practice.” Ethics, Place and Environment. Vol. 7. No. 1-2. (2004) cited in Danila D’Errico and Nigel Hunt,
“Place responsiveness: IPA walking interviews to explore participants’ responses to natural disasters, Qualitative Research in
Psychology; Vol. 16 (2019): 4
 165

precisely about certain spaces given those spaces are within reach. Hereby, it can be that
the respondent suggests a route or the researcher does. Important is the personal
connection to the space in this research and I as a researcher should not simply try to
transpose the interview to the ‘outside’ in the hope of better data but actively attempt to
use urban public and semi-public spaces of meaning to the respondent. Ideally, during the
interviews, the visited spaces are spaces of importance for the respondent and not only
placeholders for any kind of public spaces elsewhere - such as when the respondent has
felt lonely abroad. Furthermore, walking in my understanding is not overly literal, so
choosing a space to stay for a while might be equally desirable. This might only work if
the respondent is experiencing loneliness at the moment and agrees to allow his
perception of wants and needs to guide the way. Walking interviews might also bring up
elements - such as design elements or memories - that would have been forgotten in a
482
closed interview room or on Zoom. The different stimuli (other people, traffic, weather
but also memories, atmospheres) to which one hereby has to react may be useful to trigger
the thinking process. In my preliminary interviews from the beginning of 2020, there was
an occasion when the respondent had to leave and we decided to walk the way to the
metro but to continue the interview. On one hand, I can therefore expect, based on that
experience, that Walking Interviews are more distracting and reliant on more negotiation
such as wayfinding or other necessities, but on the other hand hold potential that cannot
be foresoon. In this case, the respondent from Milan was showing me a poem that was
483
placed on the wall, which she discovered just by accident. This illustrates very well to
what details people are attentive, which will then guide my questions further, so would I
have never asked about a poem but since I know the very detailed scale of her attention, I
might as well ask her about other posters or signs (as I will explain later with the concept
of socio-spatial awareness). Here is another example with a respondent from Milan, who
wanted to bring me to a bench he used to go to when he needed to get outside of the house
and listen to music:

“I don't know where this bench is, sorry.

My response: Me neither.

But maybe it was just a little wall where I used to sit...I remember I sat, that is why I thought it was
a bench. It could also be like...I was on the ground really.

482
Ibid: 2
483
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
 166

My response: But you remember it like a bench?

Probably. That is something. [...] Yeah no, I probably was like…here. It is a bit higher and not a
bench of course [a curb].

My response: But sitting here, you were quite exposed, let's say, people could see you.

Yes, but there was no one around, it was like a lockdown so really there was no one and then I was
484
with music it could have been something...someone passing by and I would probably not notice.”

However, such almost humorous instances were valuable when investigating into the
perception of a lonely person of their surroundings. In terms of questions, Walking
Interviews were still designed as Narrative Interviews, however, the focus questions were of
different nature due to the fact that firstly, I had already talked with the respondents and
secondly, these interviews were designed for a spatial focus. The full list of questions in
Appendix B. Here are some example questions, key questions again in bold:

General

Now that we are walking, do you feel that when you walk around here alone
feeling lonely, it is something that can be seen or noticed by other people?-
Why did you choose to walk/go here/there? - Do you usually go here alone or
with friends, etc.? - Are there places you prefer to go alone and places you
prefer to visit with friends?- What type of places attract you the most when
feeling lonely?- How o en does it happen to you that you are alone somewhere
but you get to know other people (strangers)?

Specific

What about street furniture? Do you frequently use benches, stairs or similar to
hang out outside? Have you used them more in the process of being lonely? - Do
you look more up or down when being lonely?- How did you feel walking past
cafés when being lonely? - Did light and colour of facades/grounds/walls play
a role when you were lonely?- Was dirtiness or cleanliness of pavements

484
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 167

important?- Do you feel more calm when being surrounded by

greenery/scenery or when being surrounded by many other people?

In Addition to the Narrative Interviews and Walking Interviews is a technique called

Think-Aloud-Walks. This technique finds its place at the end of this section because it is a)
very difficult to be carried as it requires confidence from the respondent and b) its value
has not been thoroughly studied in relation to emotions aside from extreme situations
485
such as professional sports competitions. The advantage of this method is to verbalise
the coping process in real-time, similar to what a Walking Interview could, but not relying
486
much on the questions and rather verbalising everything that comes to mind. This
would require participants to act as a sort of commentator of their own perceptions, as a
narrator of their experience. In practical terms, the respondent would have to hold the
recorder and has to be relatively independent in the narrative. The researcher
accompanies and possibly leads the way. Here an example of my one Think-Aloud-Walk
carried out along the Naviglio Martesana in Milan: “Ok I really need to do it so I always get
out of my house, come here, do little, go here and sometimes I just take the scale (ramp) next to the
bridge and I go up and there is an ice cream shop, they do traditional ice cream…..and the things
that did me weird in the beginning when I get out here, during the first quarantine and super strict,
there were people on the bike and they had the mask and I was like, oh my god, they have the mask
down, now everybody does not give a shit, but at this period was super weird for me to finally see
the true face of the people and see me like ah they have a face, it is really weird, that you cannot
see more expressions because for me as a stranger, it is weird to speak with people in another
language and not see their expression and with the mask you don’t understand what they say and
sometimes you are out, just for listening the people, be curious and know what they speak about
487
but you don’t know because of the mask [...].” It is difficult to derive general claims from one
Think-Aloud-Walk, but if I attempt to compare the spatial detailedness from this interview
compared to the Narrative Interview I conducted on Zoom with this respondent, the
Think-Aloud-Walk was much more precise and rich in its socio-spatial remarks. Similarly,
the Walking Interview conducted with another respondent from Milan was much more
precise and diverse in topics. Both, however, illustrated or emphasised previous

485
See for example: Adam Nicholls and Remco Polman. “Think Aloud: Acute Stress and Coping Strategies during Golf
Performances”. Anxiety, Stress, & Coping. Vol 21. No. 3. (2009)
486
Hereby, such verbalisations of a situation or feeling can be direct or already interpreted. See for example: David W. Eccles
and Güler Arsal. “The think aloud method: what is it and how do I use it?” Qualitative Research in Sport, Exercise and Health. Vol. 9
No. 4. (2017): 517
487
Interview. Milan. (June 2021)
 168

statements of the respondents and I want to suggest, that if a researcher solely relies on
these methods, they have to be planned more accurately to get coherent and rich data, as
the real world around may o entimes not only trigger memories but hinder the interview
(such as because of a busy street).

Steps of Analysis

Here, I am displaying the steps of analysis I have used as part of my general

research design. It is essential and important to understand these steps for the
development of my main outcome - the socio-spatial typology of people’s coping
behaviour with loneliness. On one hand, I followed Smith, Flower and Larkins work called
Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and Research within which all
necessary steps for an IPA-research are explained in detail. However, the authors note:
“Within this repertoire of strategies, there is considerable room for manoeuvre. The route
488
through them will not be a linear one, and the experience will be challenging.”
Elsewhere, Smith and Osborne point out that these steps of analysis are “[...] there to be
adapted by researchers, who will have their own personal way of working. It is also
important to remember that qualitative analysis is inevitably a personal process, and the
analysis itself is the interpretative work which the investigator does at each of the
489
stages.” Thus, on one hand, there are steps suggested in the literature, but this
framework is designed so to invite IPA-researchers to personalise and adjust these steps
based on one’s focus of inquiry. In the following, I will rely on the steps suggested by
Smith, Flower and Larkins and the adjustment that Charlick, Pincombe, McKellar, and
Fielder applied in their study - I will display their suggested model of analysis in Appendix
490491
F. However, the steps suggested by Smith, Flower and Larkins are as follows:

- The close, line-by-line analysis of the experiential claims, concerns, and understandings of
492
each participant.
- The identification of the emergent patterns (i.e. themes) within this experiential material [...].

488
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin, “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research”, (London, Sage, 2009): 81
489
Jonathan Smith and Mike Osborn. “Interpretative phenomenological analysis”. Chapter 4 in Jonathan Smith,
“Qualitative psychology: A practical guide to research methods”. (2nd ed.). (London, SAGE, 2008): 67
490
Ibid.
491
Samantha Charlick, Jan Pincombe, Lois McKellar, and Andrea Fielde., “Making Sense of Participant Experiences:
Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis in Midwifery Research”. International Journal of Doctoral Studies Vol. 11, (2016): 210
492
Michael Larkin, Simon Watts and Elizabeth Cli on. “Giving voice and making sense in Interpretative Phenomenological
Analysis.” Qualitative Research in Psychology. Vol. 3. (2006).
 169

- The development of a ‘dialogue’ between the researchers, their coded data, [...].
- The development of a structure, frame or gestalt which illustrates the relationships between
themes.
- The [organisation] of all of this material in a format which allows for analysed data to be
traced right through the process, from initial comments on the transcript, through initial
clustering and thematic development, into the final structure of themes.
- The use of supervision, collaboration, or audit to help test and develop the coherence and
plausibility of the interpretation.
493
- The development of a full narrative, [...]”

Generally speaking, the process of analysis in IPA has certain steps, such as initial and
naive reading, finding themes and patterns across themes and interpreting the themes.
These steps can be adapted to one’s research and are flexible. In this research, I adjusted
the suggested steps along the following ideas: On one hand, respondent’s social-spatial
entries - I go to the park to feel better - are directly resulting from the interviews. This is
followed by a process of abstraction (or sense-making) into themes following, for example,
I go to the park to feel better = solitude; I tried to make friends = social connection. These themes
are consequently grouped into categories based on their essences (what is trying to be
achieved here?) named coping behaviours, for example, solitude shares socio-spatial
similarities with another theme called self-reflection. Both are therefore categorised into
one coping behaviour, in this case Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC).
The names of the themes are resulting from the literature, as I will explain later. These
steps form the main line of my analysis. The other (side-)steps I added result from my aim
is to learn about the socio-spatial environments of Milan and Manchester and the way
these spaces support, hinder, foster or allow for coping with loneliness. Hereby, I listed all
actual spaces mentioned to me and analysed them regarding coping with loneliness -
similarly explained later. I noted all spaces mentioned for the cities and reassigned the
themes so that every place is linked to an action, for example, a park in Milan has these
qualities that make it a preferred space for people seeking solitude. Further, I have created
individual profiles for each respondent: Hereby, I gathered all available themes from the
interviews and reassigned them to the respondents, as a verification process. Overall,
however, by going back and forth between abstraction and reassigning themes to
respondents, I can precisely know the intentions and coping behaviours of each
respondent. Additionally, I verified the themes of respondents by explaining their changes

493
Jonathan Smith, Paul Flowers and Michael Larkin, “Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis: Theory, Method and
Research”, (London, Sage, 2009): 80-81
 170

in social capital terms and place attachment. For example, person A seeks a certain
socio-spatial experience because person A hopes that this space will attract kind people or
potential friends.
 171

Figure 17: Steps of Analysis based on Smith et. al. (2009) and Chadwick et. al. (2016)
 172

Findings respondents
Preliminary Interviews

My preliminary interviews series helped me to be prepared for the interviews, as

well as testing different questions and hypotheses: “Qualitative pilot studies are necessary
in mono-method and mixed methods studies. They are valuable in increasing the training
and confidence, particularly of novice researchers. They help to assess the practicality and
usefulness of research methods and procedures and help to pre-empt and overcome
494
possible challenges in the main study.” Such pilot studies, or in my case what I call
preliminary interviews are therefore beneficial in two ways, namely to gain experience as a
novice researcher but also to refine and shape the topic. “It can help identify if there are
flaws or limitations within the interview design that allow necessary modifications to the
495
major study.” Such ‘pilot study’ was a highly beneficial approach for my research: I
learned how to ask to know about spaces of importance when coping with loneliness, the
degree to which questions are too sensitive and which are not and expectations from the
side of my respondents towards me. However, my questions, not necessarily my focus,
have changed a er the preliminary interviews and interestingly enough, this pilot study
leaves me with a unique type of pre-pandemic data, to be explained later. In total, I
conducted five such preliminary interviews. Here is a summary of the benefits:

- Understanding the richness and depth of the data retrievable in terms of loneliness with
regard to urban space
- Understanding of how to ask questions in a sensitive way
- Getting used to the routine and practicality of interviewing
- Gaining interview experience (so to be more relaxed and knowing when to ask what type of
questions)
- Gaining experience in dealing with data (transcription, formatting)

In any case, what I stated before, namely that I had to learn that certain data sometimes
does not exist will be illustrated by these quotes from two respondents from Milan. If I

494
Clavia Williams-McBea., “The Value of a Qualitative Pilot Study in a MultiPhase Mixed Methods Research”. The
Qualitative Report. Vol. 24 No. 5. (2019): 1061
495
Steinar Kvale. “Doing Interviews”. (London, SAGE, 2007) cited in Mohd Aliff Abdul Majid, Mohhidin Othman, Siti
Fatimah Mohamad and Sarina Lim. “Piloting for Interviews in Qualitative Research: Operationalization and Lessons
Learnt”, International Journal of Academic Research in Business and Social Sciences. Vol. 7. No. 4. (2017): 1074
 173

had not had other respondents whose loneliness had a very clear spatial dimension
intertwined with the social dimensions of it, it may have been discouraging early on in the
research process. That would have been upon the realisation that what I designed and
conceived as the relevant focus in this research, may hardly be so in people’s subjective
realities, that is, spaces matter:

“Why are you so about places? I don't care about places. I care about people. My people are my
places. For example, it is the connection with people in my office that is my place, rather than the
496
actual place.”

“I don’t know. I think it should have grass, tree, a lot of pillow on the ground, probably some
Hammocks...stuff like that. And probably music and I don’t know, your question is strange because
if I feel alone I don’t want another place, I would like people…..so I don’t know how to describe a
497
place because it is still empty….”

Types of Data

One of the main requirements for respondents was that they want to share their
experience with loneliness. Hereby, I came in contact with respondents that were lonely at
the moment of the interview - because of the lockdown or another event in their life, for
example just having moved to Milan away from friends and family - and respondents that
used to be lonely but are currently not lonely anymore. For the latter, loneliness seemed to
have sustainably altered their way of going about their everyday life: Keeping certain
habits, still thinking about that lonely period and having friends they got to know during
that period. Interestingly enough, in-between the lockdown periods and usually following
the increasing cases of infections, an anticipatory state of loneliness seems to exist - I
know, I will be lonely again. But then during the lockdown, for some, there was a release of
built up social pressure - I know, I cannot do anything at the moment and I am OK with it.

There are three main types of data that I can easily expect to find. The first one is that of
loneliness generally. The respondents are likely to tell me where they felt lonely and why
they felt lonely. All of this is connected to the origin, the part of loneliness that may be
most dominant in the consciousness. My preliminary set of interviews confirmed that.
Data of that kind is of primary importance because it shapes the context of the coping

496
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
497
Interview. Milan. (November 2021)
 174

mechanism and the possible outcome. Moreover, not much data on loneliness in young
adults seems generally to exist so the more insights on lived experiences can be captured,
the more full the picture of loneliness in that cultural and social domain within which I
will explore it.

The second data that I have been looking for is data for the moment of being lonely and
coping with it - including behavioural changes and secondary emotions such as sadness or
anger. Most respondents may remember these periods vividly as loneliness is enacted,
embodied and imprinted into their daily narrative. Data of that kind may be scattered all
over the interview and disjointed, which may be precise because of the emotionality
involved in the happenings but also perhaps because the respondent’s behaviour may have
been incongruent in itself, that is, a respondent may do activities without necessarily
thinking or reflecting about it.

The third and probably most difficult data to obtain is exactly the core of my research,
namely not only what the respondents did and felt but all of that in accordance with the
socio-spatial surroundings. Here, I will attempt to evoke a thorough consideration in
relation to public and semi-public spaces, including the people within them and the
feelings participants had towards and expected from others. There is meanwhile enough
ground to presume that public and semi-public spaces play a decisive role, if not by their
design then by what they incarnate and mean to the respondents - in other terms: how
built environments enable people to construct their individual or social space within that
they feel helped, reflected, recognized. “[...] [T]he experienced space around us is always
charged with affective qualities. We may feel something in the air, [...]. Feelings befall us;
they emerge from situations, persons, and objects which have their expressive features
and which attract or repel us. This affective space is essentially felt through the medium
of the body which widens, tightens, weakens, trembles, shakes, etc. in correspondence to
498
the effects and atmospheres that we experience.”

It is further to assume that spatial topics have to be asked for more direct and probably
quite adamant without being overly suggestive. In some instances, clarifying certain
feelings towards certain spaces with imagery might be useful, such as showing pictures on
the smartphone or metaphorically in the form of poems. That allows for a more detailed
and mutual understanding. These pictures might be illustrated with the meaning the
respondents attach to these spaces up to the point where the socio-spatial idea of the

498
Thomas Fuchs. “The Phenomenology of Affectivity: Oxford Handbooks Online”. (Oxford University Press, Oxford, 2015): 1-2
 175

499
space becomes the carrier for further conversation. But other mutual interests may
similarly become such a carrier: In one of the preliminary interviews I have conducted, the
500
respondent was an architect herself and spoke of spaces I knew myself. The result was a
very fruitful conversation, in which I had to make sure to maintain the wire of connection
- such wires usually existed when I shared something with the respondent, whether
university, hobby or an understanding of loneliness. Indeed, it is easier said than done that
the subjective experience of the participant is their social and spatial reality and is there
not for debate but for description. However, being a young researcher I had to understand
that I could attempt to seek the data I need for my research, but that there has to be
acceptance when there is no such data which can be useful as well in my analysis. On the
other hand, whereas I mostly understood during the interview already how useful this
interview will be, there were cases that turned out to be highly useful a er a naive and
close reading of the transcription. This is not necessarily because I discovered something
in-between the lines, but more when the interview situation was not ideal so I could not
follow as close as I would like to (so for example because of an internet connection or if
outside, heavy traffic) or because suddenly parts at the beginning of the interview starting
to fall in line with what has been said at the end of it.

Social Streets

501
All respondents except one were found in Facebook-groups. In Milan, as in other
Italian cities as well as in some cities abroad, a phenomenon called Social Streets is in
502
place. These are neighbourhood-bound Facebook-groups: “[...] being part of a social
street means meeting each other online but also possibly offline, both in the social
network and in the street. Social Streets are communal streets, which, starting with
Facebook, without resolving themselves into it, return to being lived intensely by those
who live there, recovering a sort of community dimension that makes people feel at home,
503
part of/belonging to/less alone.” Further, some of these groups are actually offline
communities transferred online, meaning they have been built upon existing strong social
networks, others provide a statement of the absence of such communities due to

499
This has not been done in this research, but may sometimes help respondents to communicate more easily about their
experience.
500
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
501
Initially I expected to be able to acquire respondents through other means, but Facebook-Groups turned out highly efficient.
502
See: http://www.socialstreet.it/wp/wp-content/uploads/2017/06/Social-street-inglese.pdf
503
Cristina Pasqualini. “Vicini e Connessi - Rapporto sulle Social Street a Milano”. [translated using Deep]. (Milan,
Fondazione Giangiacomo Feltrinelli, 2018): 12-13
 176

504
inactivity. Here a list of one of the biggest Social Street Groups in Milano as of the
beginning of 2022:

Social Street de LA LOGGIA DI CALVAIRATE - 4000 members

Social street Paolo Sarpi - Quartiere di Milano, Italia - 20.400 members
Residenti in Lambrate - Milano - Social Street - 5300 members
NoLo Social District - Nord Loreto, Milano - 12000 members

Note how the number of members does not necessarily reflect the number of inhabitants
of a district, so that for example Lambrate has around 12.000 inhabitants and Calvairate
23.000 inhabitants. This goes to show that some districts may be districts where people
from all over Milan (and beyond) spend time or have heard of, such as NoLo, where
respondents from all over Milan that I talked to knew at least a friend or a place they
505
would frequent once in a while.

Social Streets are groups aiming at getting to know your neighbours, sharing interests and
activities and receiving help, for example during the lockdown. “The world is urbanising
and the terms 'globalisation' and 'urbanisation' are very close to being synonymous. In
this context, all efforts to combat the forms of loneliness and anonymity that occur in the
506
city are welcome.” Given these aspirations behind this initiative, Social Streets fitted
perfectly for my investigation because: Firstly, groups have the implicit spatial component
of the neighbourhood and home which was suspected to matter in the course of loneliness
and secondly, these groups may have served for some already as one antidote to loneliness.
Further, these groups are Italian and have open agendas, as opposed to more political or
pandemic-related groups, meaning, I can post in them without running the risk of not
fitting the topic of debate.

One of the problems with using these groups, is that firstly, one needs to be part of the
groups and usually these groups are only for residents so I had to pretend to live or work
in the respective area to be accepted. That provided a challenge as I feared that others

504
Ibid.
505
IlPost. “Dove si vive a Milano, in quattro mappe”. (April 2021). (accessed: 28.04.2022).
https://www.ilpost.it/2021/04/27/milano-mappe-residenti/
506
Cristina Pasqualini. “Vicini e Connessi - Rapporto sulle Social Street a Milano”. [translated using Deep]. (Milan,
Fondazione Giangiacomo Feltrinelli, 2018): 13
 177

who were also part of more than one group would feel betrayed in the sense that I may
misuse their community forum to gather data without actually having resided in that
particular neighbourhood. Nevertheless, there are over 70 groups in Milan, some of them
having 20 and some of them having [over 20.000] members, making it a logistically difficult
507
task. Logistically difficult because a er having posted my research quest in the groups
with the most members, I needed to restructure my approach as some groups were more
active and responsive than others but I wanted to cover a broad area of Milan. I then
investigated the best times to post on Facebook to reach more people in the less active
groups or posted twice in the respective groups.

Lastly, I had to take into consideration the very demographic structure of the groups
themselves: Around 70% are females; only one out of five is a Millennial (my target group);
the average age is around 40 years old and members of the group tend to have a graduate
508
or postgraduate university degree. The male-female ratio will partly (but not fully)
explain the male-female ratio with my respondents, the average group-member age does
not reflect my respondent’s average age as I have stated that I am looking for young adults,
the fact that most members are university graduates is to be taken into account, however
useful for me, as I had to conduct these interviews in English, so possibly many of these
people had been in situations that required to speak English before. Interestingly to note
here, nearly 20 people wrote to me but did not continue the conversation to the interview
a er an initial exchange or a er I sent the UCLA-Loneliness-Scale (University of
California, Los Angeles Loneliness-Scale). Of those 20, nearly half were males, possibly
indicating a higher social stigma for males or the relevance of my gender in the research:
Females may find it easier to talk with a male and vice versa, precisely to cut off a common
point of reference for some aspects of their experience, so, for example, safety at night and
have a different perspective. It may however also be the exact opposite and similarly
depend on the preference of a particular person.

On a general note: All of my posts in these groups received stark interest, including many
likes, comments and shares. The interest in my research was genuine and o en people
linked other people in the comments about whom they thought had something to say
regarding my research, ranging from friends linking friends to mothers linking their
daughters or sons. Beyond that, people stressed the importance of this research and
expressed their support, which I am very grateful for. As a side effect, I have learned about

507
Ibid: 360-361
508
Ibid: 269 ff.
 178

different neighbourhoods, for example, people writing to me personally to spark a

conversation in their neighbourhood, as they were perhaps disappointed by the lack of
engagement in their own group. An example of such responses in the Appendix C, taken
from NoLo Social District - Nord Loreto, Milano Facebook-Group.

On the other hand in Manchester, finding respondents turned out to be more difficult.
Firstly, I would have expected it to be easier because of the mutual language I share with
respondents and the fact that upon my arrival, people seemed very open, friendly and
approachable and most of them, a er having heard of my topic, expressed interest and
highlighted the importance of researching it. The concept of Social Street Facebook-groups
does not exist and is instead partly replaced by so-called Community-Groups, at least so
the o en-used unofficial title next to the district's name. Here are some examples from
Manchester:

WITHINGTON COMMUNITY GROUP - 2200 Members

Hulme Community Forum - 1000 members
Northern Quarter, Manchester - 7500 members
M16 Whalley Range, Old Trafford & Firswood & A Big Chunk Of Moss Side - 11600
members

Whereas in Milan not only the size of the group but the degree of belonging or
community-feeling seemed to play a role when I would post, as sometimes in smaller
groups there would be a high frequency of comments under my posts whereas in bigger
groups, there would sometimes be hardly any response, that changed in Manchester.
Usually, the more members in the group the more responses but overall, most groups were
deserted by any activity and o en used to promote local businesses or swap and sell items.
The overall amount of people reaching out to me was significantly less, providing an
actual difficulty at times to find respondents. If I would have aimed for an equal
comparison study, I would have had to choose other ways of finding responses, which then
again might have complicated the matter. But since Manchester was not supposed to be
the main geographical focus of my research, I relied on the Facebook-groups. In total, I
have found 10 respondents in Manchester and had additionally seven people contacting
me not pursuing the interview for unfortunately unknown reasons.
 179

General Notes on Contact to Respondents

The contact with the respondents followed the idea that rather than me trying to
find out who is eligible for this study and feeling lonely, respondents would contact me. I
would therefore make a post, stating my research. Important here, I used example
questions to trigger a wider understanding of loneliness and give an overview of my
research focus. Here is a shortened version of this post, the full test of my post will be
Appendix D.

Hello everyone! I am Tom, 27 years old and from Germany. Currently I am doing my
PhD at the University of Milano-Bicocca. I am researching loneliness in urban spaces
(public and semi-public spaces) within the field of urban sociology. More precisely: I am
investigating how young Italian adults (age 18-34) feeling lonely in Milan, cope with
that loneliness in relation to the city. Hereby, I would like to understand how the
everyday narrative changes in the course of experiencing loneliness and understand
different urban spaces through the thoughts and perceptions of people feeling lonely.

If you have something to share about your experience of loneliness, I would appreciate
you getting in contact with me, so we can set up an interview: Relevant questions can
be: Where do you go when feeling lonely? What do you do? How is the perception of
other people? Do you try to talk to strangers? What routines and behaviours do you
develop while being lonely? Which places can offer relief, and which places enforce the
feeling even more? Is the neighbourhood pub becoming an institution that offers help?

[...]

The general hypothesis of my investigation is that the experience of loneliness makes

people aware of a certain socio-spatial discrepancy in their life (I cannot trust my
friends anymore; My neighbourhood does not represent me; I have just broken up with
my partner, I have just moved to Manchester and have not found friends, I have no
energy to start living the life I want, ...). As the initial experience of loneliness may o en
be painful, people experiencing it may adopt coping mechanisms. I am exploring these
coping mechanisms.

[...]
 180

It would be my pleasure to talk to you and explore your experience of being lonely.
Online and offline interviews are fine for me, depending on your schedules and
certainly the overall restrictions in place. If you have any further questions, feel
absolutely free to drop me a message, I am happy about every exchange about the topic.
I am looking forward to your messages and responses: Preferably in private on
Facebook or to my mail: t.brennecke@campus.unimib.it
Thanks.

It has been the same post across the Manchester groups. The post in Milan has always
also been also translated into Italian so that respondents can understand exactly what I
am researching. Following this post, people who feel addressed and had experienced
loneliness would either comment, send me a message or an email, hereby, usually people
emailing me were more likely to respond and pursue the interview than people
commenting. Comments included general support and people expressed that it is
unfortunate that it is in English - to which I usually replied that I would hope that in the
future more Italian researchers would continue on that topic - and tag other people, of
whom people who saw my post thought they would be interested in talking to me. In
general, the interest and welcome in the Italian groups were much higher and stronger
than in Manchester, which may have to do with the fact that these groups have been used
more, in other words: I found me in a dense and active social network. For the hypothesis
that it may have to do with a stronger social cohesion or higher degree of individualism in
Manchester, there is no data to support that.

Usually, a er the initial contact, I would send respondents a standard answer including
the general structure and order of the next steps. Two steps were prior to the interview
with each respondent. First, I send respondents a consent form to ensure that their data
will be treated carefully and anonymously. That was not a research requirement from the
side of the department of my University in Milan but since some respondents were
concerned that their stories would be made public, I used this form to establish trust and
commitment. A erwards, I sent each respondent a questionnaire, using the UCLA
Loneliness Scale version 3 for that, more explanations and preliminary findings are in the
chapter that follows.

Demographics of Respondents
 181

The first set of respondents are Italians or British people and have felt lonely in
Milan or Manchester respectively. A few exceptions have been encountered, namely
people who were not Italian but lived in Milan for some years or people that are Italian
but felt lonely abroad or in another Italian city and not in Milan. All these respondents
have been interviewed and their personal narratives will be considered in the data
analysis. Hereby, respondents who felt lonely abroad and not in the respective cities as
well as respondents from abroad who felt lonely in the respective cities because of cultural
differences have been analysed more carefully: The reasoning behind that is to have a
cultural focus and a clear target group - a er all: This study shall be beneficial to the
Italian context and Milan specifically so that the socio-spatial mentions in the interviews
are related to that context. I have encountered respondents across my age group that were
single, married, with or without children, had their own flat, rented, had their own house
and lived with parents. In terms of gender, I have not made any pre-conditions for the
interview, if anything hoping for a 50-50 outcome, as loneliness is equally spread across
509
genders as found out by the European Commission statistic described earlier.
Respondents between the age of 18 and 34, so-called young adults, were interviewed. No
respondent was younger than that. I was confronted with respondents being older than
that, but most respondents were in-between 25 and 30, which was one of the motivations
for this study, namely to be able to understand their life experiences better by being able
to interpret their findings based on my own experiences. To allow my own experience to
be part of the research process was another reason for the choice of my methodology:
“The phenomenological researcher, therefore, is actively involved with the phenomenon
as it has relevance to his own experience and seeks to understand it in terms that resonate
510
with wider spheres of human existence and meaning.“ Generally speaking, a
phenomenological approach allows for a sort of symbiosis between the researched person,
or co-researcher, and the researcher without having to bracket the prior experience of the
511
researcher. The premise is that the researched person and the researcher both exist
within their lifeworlds - a phenomenological term that roots in philosophy:
“Phenomenologists all accept that researcher subjectivity is inevitably implicated in

509
Béatrice d'Hombres, Sylke Schnepf, Martina Barjakovà and Francisco Teixeira Mendonça. Joint Research Centre. The
European’s commission science and knowledge service. “Loneliness – an unequally shared burden in Europe,.” European
Union. (2018): 4
510
David Seamon. “The Phenomenological Contribution to Environmental Psychology”. Journal of Environmental Psychology
Vol. 2 (1989): 122
511
Jonathan Smith. ”Reflecting on the development of interpretative phenomenological analysis and its contribution to
qualitative research in psychology”. Qualitative Research in Psychology. Vol. 1 No. 1. (2004) cited in Linda Finlay. “Debating
Phenomenological Research Methods”. Phenomenology & Practice. Vol. 3. No. 1. (2009): 8
 182

research - indeed, some would say it is precisely the [realisation] of the intersubjective
interconnectedness between researcher and researched that [characterises]
512
phenomenology.” First there is the lifeworld of the respondent, in other words, the way
loneliness shapes the experience of the respondent as perceived in everyday social
interactions, for example. Secondly, there is my own lifeworld, meaning my own history
with loneliness, my expectations with it, and the lifeworld I bring to the interview with
me: Hence, there is the researcher making sense of the respondents' experience by
consulting the literature or reading more closely into the text in-between the lines. Here
now a summary of the characteristics of my respondents in Milan:

Interviews in total: 31
By Gender: 24 identified as females; 7 as males
Age: average age: 31 years; median: 29 years
Origin: 27 from Italy; 10 of those from Milan
Born in Urban Area: 17-20
(depending on definition;
in some interviews, the origin of a respondent was not revealed to me)
Moved to Milan from Southern Italy: 12
Average Interview Length: 63 Minutes

Most respondents were interviewed using Skype with a few exceptions that happened on
Zoom. The preliminary interviews all happened in person (prior to the pandemic). At first
glance, a clear difference regarding the quality of the interview based on Skype or meeting
in person could not be found, if anything it worked better in Skype due to less external
distraction (noise for example) and the fact, that respondents could be at home, which for
many seemed to be a safe space. When it comes to Manchester, the demographic
breakdown is as follows:

Interviews in total: 10
By Gender: 6 identified as females; 4 as males
Age: average age: 30 years; median: 27 years26
Origin: 8 from United Kingdom (England); 5 from Manchester or satellite towns
Born in Urban Area: 5-7

512
Linda Finlay. “Debating Phenomenological Research Methods”. Phenomenology & Practice. Vol. 3. No. 1. (2009): 11
 183

(depending on definition;
in some interviews, the origin of a respondent was not revealed to me)
Moved to Manchester from London: 2
Average Interview Length: 56 Minutes

UCLA - University of California Los Angeles Loneliness Scale

One major prior step before interviewing people is to assess their level of
loneliness. I will rely on the most prominent measurement scale, the
UCLA-Loneliness-Scale consisting of 20 questions - the full questionnaire in Appendix
513
E. Questions need to be answered with Always, Sometimes, Rarely or Never. Some of the
questions address the respondents' social life such as How o en do you feel in tune with the
people around you, other questions address more individual feelings such as How o en do
you feel alone? The crux of this questionnaire is that half of the questions are ‘positively’
directed questions such as How o en do you feel friendly and outgoing? whereas the other
half is more ‘negatively’ directed such as How do you feel le out? The positively directed
question will be rated lower - their rating will be reversed, so when usually o en gets a
four, for positive questions that is a one, so that the higher the score, the lonelier the
respondent is. This test has to be sent in advance, prior to the meeting. If someone’s score
is far from being lonely despite this person claiming that, it has to be decided whether an
interview makes sense, such as to find out why this person feels lonely. If someone is not
lonely but expresses having felt lonely in the past, a meeting will likely happen.

I would like to add a few sentences about this loneliness scale. Firstly, for different
research purposes, the scale has been adapted to different languages, such as by Lasgaard,
Friis and Sevlin in the Danish context, by Sacchi and de Minzi in the Argentinian context
514
or by Durak and Seno-Durak in the Turkish context. In Italy, Zammuner has for
example tested the validity of an Italian version in her metastudy of loneliness in Italy
combining different scales including the De Jong - Gierveld Loneliness Scale stating that “[...]

513
See for example: Molly Stroud Weeks and Steven R. Asher. “Loneliness in childhood: toward the next generation of
assessment and research.“ Advances in Child Development and Behavior. Vol. 42 (2012) cited in Science Direct. “Loneliness
Scale.” (2012): “The UCLA Loneliness Scale was originally developed by Russell, et. al. [in 1978]. In this original version, all of
the items were worded in a negative direction (e.g., “There is no one I can turn to,” “I am unhappy being so withdrawn”). The
UCLA measure was subsequently revised in 1980 [by] Russell et al. to include half positively worded items (e.g., “I am an
outgoing person”) and half negatively worded items (e.g., “I feel le out”) as a means of counteracting possible response bias
that might have occurred with the original version of the measure. Finally, the UCLA measure was revised a third time by
Russell [in 1996] to correct some problems in item wording that emerged in research with elderly populations.”
514
See for example https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2006.10.013
 184

the obtained reported results do lend support to the conclusion that the Italian Loneliness
Scale (ILS), constructed mostly by adapting items taken from two well known instruments,
namely a short UCLA version and the De Jong-Gierveld Loneliness Scale, is a valid and
reliable scale for measuring subjective perceptions of both social and emotional loneliness
in various sections of the Italian population – i.e., in adolescents, as well as in young and
mature adults, in older people, in people with low and high education level, and in people
515
living in sociologically different geographic areas of Italy.” Nevertheless the following
two considerations made me remain with the English version. Firstly, I have been
sceptical about whether certain words may not have a different cultural connotation, such
as companionship, feeling alone, being ‘in tune’ with others or feeling isolated, thus remaining in
the English language may align the mutual understanding (of the respondent and me) of
this word. Secondly, the interview was conducted in English and thus the English scale
may have prepared the Italian respondents for some of the questions to come. In any case,
if the validity of the scale in different translations is similar to the English one, then using
English is a valid choice. I would however invite future researchers of loneliness in the
Italian context to explore the Italian adaptation, especially when targeting a different
sample population.

Generally speaking, applying measures for loneliness is difficult. Cole et. al. state: “Three
items taken from UCLA are currently recommended by the ONS [Office for National
Statistics] and UK government, as the best measure of loneliness in youth following item
revision and qualitative testing for ease and interpretation with young people aged 10 to
15 years. However, the current review has highlighted this was not the intended audience,
and exploration of reliability and validity was absent, and so encouraging wider use of a
similarly adapted scale, perhaps also in other countries, is founded on incomplete
516517
evidence.” But whether or not scales are reliable and valid may further depend on what
is asked and how it is asked, meaning asking directly or indirectly about loneliness. The
Health Foundation in the United Kingdom states: “Approximately 9% of individuals
directly reported feeling lonely ‘o en’, rising to 13% if also including those classified
through the indirect questions. As Figure 1 shows, there is a significant overlap between
those shown to be lonely through both the direct and indirect questions, with a additional

515
Vanda Zammuner. “Italians’ Social and Emotional Loneliness: The Results of Five Studies”. International Journal of
Educational and Pedagogical Sciences Vol. 2 No. 4. (2008): 426
516
Aimée Cole, Caroline Bond, Pamela Qualter and Marlies Maes. “A Systematic Review of the Development and
Psychometric Properties of Loneliness Measures for Children and Adolescents”. International Journal of Environmental
Research and Public Health. Vol. 18 No. 6. (2021). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph18063285
517
Office for National Statistics. “Testing of Loneliness Questions in Surveys.” (December 2018). (accessed: 23.05.2022).
https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/wellbeing/compendium/nationalmeasurementofloneliness/2018/testingoflonelinessquestionsinsurveys
 185

518519
4% of the population classified just through the indirect question.” Elsewhere at the
Campaign to End Loneliness International Conference called Loneliness Beyond Covid-19,
psychologist Pamela Qualter pointed out that most of the scales are measuring frequency -
How o en do you feel lonely? - whereas questions like How intensely do you feel lonely? Or how
520
long does the feeling of loneliness usually stay? are vastly missing.

The UCLA exists as a 3-item version, which relies on three proxy questions for loneliness
but similar to a 20-item version, which includes 20 questions including the ones used in
the 3-item version. I have relied on the 20-item version because I wanted to use as many
questions as possible, in line with what The Health Foundation from the United Kingdom
states: “The number of lonely people is larger than the direct questions on loneliness
suggest. This demonstrates the need for wider approaches to understanding this issue –
such as greater use of indirect questions. However, even these indirect measures may still
not provide a true representation of loneliness in the UK. The questions themselves are
still somewhat direct, so there is certainly further room for exploration and innovation in
521
devising measures that can provide a more accurate picture of loneliness.” Additionally,
I used the 20-item version to be able to understand the experience of the respondents
better before the interview, so whether a feeling of social isolation and not knowing
anyone was the problem or the problem is rooted in another aspect of their social life.

However, sending and using the scale gave me a general idea of the loneliness experience
of my respondents - how does it feel for this person to be lonely?; intensity: how lonely is this
person?; and their cause for loneliness: why is this person lonely? The results of that display
that most respondents score high on the loneliness scale and a major gender difference
could not be found. There may be tendencies of noticing that the most lonely respondents
following the UCLA assessment were males, but there is not enough data to support that.
Other possible conclusions, so for example that the persons that scored the highest had
the most coping behaviours can similarly not be verified. Nevertheless, using the scale
provided another unit of analysis, for example when it comes to establishing
individual-social profiles and understanding the feeling of a person.

518
Lara Dearing. The Health Foundation. “The missing lonely: Exploring direct and indirect measures of loneliness”,
(December 2019). (accessed: 29.04.2022), https://www.health.org.uk/news-and-comment/charts-and-infographics/the-missing-lonely
519
For example: Direct question: Do you feel lonely? Indirect Question: Do you feel outgoing and friendly?
520
Pamela Qualter. “Evidence Gaps in What we Know about Loneliness.” Key Note at Campaign to End Loneliness
Conference. (November 2021). (accessed: 23.05.2022). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-3shTdl2bg
521
Lara Dearing. The Health Foundation. “The missing lonely: Exploring direct and indirect measures of loneliness”,
(December 2019). (accessed: 29.04.2022), https://www.health.org.uk/news-and-comment/charts-and-infographics/the-missing-lonely
 186

Themes and Profiles

Socio-Spatial Themes

The development of themes is a central part of this thesis and will be discussed in
this chapter. First, it is worth explaining the emergence (or the idea) behind the themes.
As stated earlier, the themes display the intention - in line with the phenomenological
approach - of people's behaviour, that is directed towards an object. All themes have been
listed individually so that if one respondent expresses that he or she likes to go somewhere
by bike, the bike ride and the arrival at the space are usually two different entries.
Similarly, the first intention of the respondent is key, so for example if a space offers more
than one benefit, the one mentioned first or the main one is the one I have noted down,
for example, if a respondent goes out for social interactions but similarly feels distracted
by that, the social interaction is the main aim and distraction becomes rather one
characteristic (or additional benefit) of that interaction as opposed to being an own means
to an end. This provides clarity and works out mostly the main coping behaviours. Most
themes have been developed whilst going through the interviews, others were already
existing: I could for example expect to find people’s need for social connection or solitude
based on the literature. Here, I would like to display how the process looked like with the
example of one respondent from Milan.

Figure 18: Example of listing of socio-spatial themes for one respondent from Milan
 187

Every entry for the respondents displays one socio-spatial approach regarding how this
person coped. To explain one entry from the table above, in this case, the third from the
top: A respondent from Milan said: [I like to go to Piazza] Gae Aulenti because at least there is
a little part of the city where I can see in the sky. Mostly here in the city you can't see the sky,
522
everything is full of buildings so yes I really miss these open spaces in Milan.” I have then
extracted and analysed this statement with regard to what type of space it is (public -
semi-public - private; accessibility; affordability). Hereby it is important to be familiar
with the city and sometimes to revisit such space personally. Further, I analysed if the
person does this activity alone or with others and if so, what others (strangers, friends, …).
Then I looked at why this respondent chooses to go to this space and marked whether it
seems directly related to this person’s experience of loneliness or not - if a person tries to
continue to go to work even during the pandemic to be distracted it is related to
loneliness, but if this person, prior to the pandemic, feels distracted at work, it is not
necessarily directly related as this person has to go to work anyways. This relates back to the
main idea, namely that to study the experience of loneliness of a person is mainly to
understand the changes in the daily narratives loneliness implies. However, for this step of
analysis, I have waited some weeks for each respondent to be on one hand reminded of the
respondent when re-reading the interview but to be distanced enough to understand the
meaning or value behind the statements - something that can sometimes not be grasped
so clearly shortly a er the interview. For now, the most important is the section with
broader coping behaviours and themes, which I will come back to towards the end of this
chapter, providing a full list and overview. By developing such a table entry for all
respondents, I get a quick overview of this person’s activity with a focus on urban spaces. I
further extracted the exact quote to which that entry is related, to be able to rethink and
double-check the entry later when used for the development of the coping behaviours. I
want to point out that it has to be kept in mind, that based on my experience and the
literature, every entry is also already a decision, if not an interpretation of mine if the
activity was less clear. If a person says: This street makes me feel better, I have to make sense
of what that actually means with regard to loneliness if I did not ask the person precisely
for example. That is why it is so important that all the themes were gathered and then
re-applied to the respondents (as the next part of the chapter shows), so as to avoid
erroneous conclusions or stark influences on the coping behaviour solely based on my
decision-making.

522
Interview. Milan. (December 2020)
 188

Individual-Social Profiles

By developing different themes for each person, the themes are established and
523
gathered in the first place. A erwards, the themes can be used to establish a profile for
each person, in other words: I wanted to be able to have a clear understanding and
knowledge of each respondent to have an overview and thorough understanding across
the respondents; to see in what ways themes are grouped; to understand which are the
main themes and which are so-called sidetracks. Below is an example of how the
individual and social-profile can be displayed or worked through. Characterise each
person is the first step for a typology of coping behaviour with loneliness, namely to
understand how people operate (differently from one another) when experiencing
loneliness. Each person has a main theme, the main type of place and different coping
behaviours.

Figure 19: Example of individual-social profiles from Milan

The coping behaviour is part of the next chapter and is not relevant at the moment, only
noteworthy that different themes make up different coping behaviours once they are
grouped (along criteria explained also in the next chapter), but that different people are
524
coping by applying different behaviours. Thus, different themes group into different
coping behaviours and types of coping and across all interviews, different coping
behaviours have been combined, meaning no person looked only for social connection or
solitude, but there were always different approaches present. I further noted the type of

523
The names and ideas behind the themes are answers following the question: What is trying to be achieved here?
524
This goes to show that a coping behaviour is not the outcome of the three main themes one person used, but the
outcome of patterns across the themes. Otherwise, I would have as many coping behaviours as respondents (as it is unlikely
that two people used the same themes in the exact same order) and the coping behaviour would remain on a highly
subjective level.
 189

place and the score on UCLA Loneliness Scale, to combine the additional data I had
gathered. This way, it may become more clear what a high score on the UCLA actually
means socially and spatially, so for example the higher the score, the more urban a person’s
everyday life may be and the more other-people-directed coping behaviours may be used. In
the column called coping-success, I wrote about the ability and success of this person to
find relief (or reduce loneliness) by applying such coping behaviours.

Profiles of Milan and Manchester

Similar to each person having a certain approach to coping, their coping

behaviours brought different learnings about the cities - as the built environment but also
in the socially produced and negotiated spatial atmospheres and perceptions. Themes and
coping behaviours have therefore been added to spaces in the city as well as the frequency
of mentioning: One could assume that the more o en one space is mentioned, the more
relevant the space is for the city but also to the experience of loneliness. Activities, as well
as negative mentions (why a person finds this space unpleasant or difficult when
navigating it), have been added as well, to describe the space. Here it becomes clear, that
the themes and coping behaviours are in themselves an explanatory tool that helps to
understand a space, and the coping of a person and therefore to illustrate and carve out
the essence of the experience of loneliness.

Figure 20: Examples of general socio-spatial mentions for the city of Milan
 190

Additionally, apart from general spaces, I have noted specific spaces, so as example
squares or cafés within the different districts. Analysing a city in such a way on different
scales allows on one hand to understand the symbolic meaning of a space but also
understand how perhaps such symbolic meanings (or attachments) concretely manifest
themselves spatially, concentrating on the space’s physical layout and design.

I will come back to this analysis but I would like to mention some findings already here, to
ground and root this study in their respective spaces. As to be expected, the most o en
mentioned space is people’s private homes. It has been mentioned in all interviews and
fulfils various functions for everyone so that almost all themes and coping behaviours
include in some way or other people’s home - it is used for example used for refuge, solitude
and social connection. Later on, I will additionally display what I would like to call hindering
factors, that is, what elements stop (or hinder) people from utilising their desired space
even better as coping places or what elements disturb, generally speaking, their
experience in the given space. To give a quick example, for the home and private flats this
includes too little sunlight, affordability or living with the wrong people or in the wrong
district.

Next, Milan is o en mentioned with regard to its closeness to the mountains. Six times
the mountains have been mentioned as weekend getaways, forming a sharp contrast
between the post-industrial landscape to be found in the wider parts of Milan and the
calm and quietness of the Alps, for example. Other general spaces of importance in Milan
are libraries and cinemas - mostly mentioned with regard to doing activities alone without
having to fear being socially stigmatised. Apart from that, there is strong importance and
local patriotism of neighbourhoods in Milan, the most o en mentioned are Porta Venezia
and NoLo (North Loreto) which tend to be places where people either live and go out or
both. These neighbourhoods are known and visited by people from beyond these
neighbourhoods.

Figure 21: Examples of specific socio-spatial mentions for the city of Milan
 191

There are specific places in Milan that are important for people when coping, but
presumably generally as well. These spaces are Monumentale cemetery, Duomo, Parco
Sempione or various piazzas in NoLo or Porta Venezia. Each of these places has a certain set
of themes connected to it and I would like to give an example: Monumentale cemetery is
used for distraction, avoidance or solitude, so it tends to be a place people like to visit alone
and o en have emotional memories connected to, such as breaking up with a girlfriend.
Other places such as Duomo are sought for social connection, belonging or solitude. Again,
each of these places has hindering factors as well, such as overcrowding or issues of safety
at night. The difference between specific spaces and general spaces is not how o en they
have been mentioned or how subjective to the person they are, but their scale - one may
like to spend time in nature surrounded by mountains, but may only like one specific
tombstone in Monumentale, that triggers positive memories.

Further interesting is the seeming irrelevance of the workplace or even university or

school people go to - as one could have expected these places may be of central
importance given that many of my respondents moved to Milan for exactly that purpose.
Additionally, whereas some people feel a certain attachment towards their
neighbourhood, no one has mentioned that attachment to Milan in general. Quite the
opposite, people have uttered many negative comments about Milan, starting from it
525
being dirty, and unsafe or people being snobbish. This in return highlights the
importance of a weekend getaway or any moment of escape. Surprising may as well be the
fact that cafés have not been mentioned very o en, despite the literature suggesting the
importance of third places when coping with loneliness and my personal impression of
526
third places serving as essential gathering points in Milan (and Italy generally). This may
be related to the Covid-19 pandemic or to the degree these places are already routinised or
taken-for-granted. People may have their favourite coffee on a daily basis but the
experience itself is less related to loneliness rather than to their everyday life or to a
cultural practice.

Next, I want to give a short overview of the findings in Manchester. The private home has
again been mentioned most o en, but not nearly as o en as for the Milan respondents.
That may be because parks, pubs and cafés (third places) are more present in this sample.
Also here, there is general importance on neighbourhoods, however, only a few mentioned
it as being important to their one’s self-definition and rather the problems or safety

525
Interviews. Milan. (2020-2021)
526
See for example: Ray Oldenburg. “The Great Good Place”. (New York, Da Capo Press, 1997 [1989])
 192

527
concerns of it. Similar to the mountains in Milan, the countryside and nearby
Pennines-mountains have been mentioned as weekend getaways. Libraries, theatres and
cinemas were less o en mentioned, but if they were mentioned they were mentioned of
central importance, as this quote by this respondent shall illustrate: “No but it takes your
mind off things...it is escapism. It is a bit of a...I go to a place called HOME which is just up
there… a bit of an atmosphere, a bit of thing about going there where I go a lot, everyone in there
knows me, so you know I could go in for instance a bit lonely or bored and I think...going to the
bar, buy a glass of wine, sit down, read a book and people seem me, oh hi Tim, come and join us, it
528
is a bit like that.” Interestingly enough, this particular respondent was currently
experiencing a lack of home (physically and socially) in his life, due to the fact he had to
leave his mother at home and was thrown out. The choice of his favourite place named
HOME may be a coincidence. To note is a stronger place-based approach in Manchester
compared to Milan meaning squares and certain streets are less important in Manchester
and pubs and cafés instead.

More present in the Manchester sample is the divide between the city centre and more
suburban residential areas. It is safe to say that Manchester shows similarities to the
layout of more American urban planning, within there is one city centre with high rises
529
and the surrounding areas are mostly terraced houses or single-family homes. There are
subcenters in Manchester so that some people would decide to abandon the city centre
overall for their weekend shopping or in their daily lives. The reasons for that are
explained by this respondent: “[I]f you walk in the rest of the city centre which is primarily
offices during the day or apartments, there is not that many people and there is quite a high rate of
homeless people….and quite a few, quite o en they can get aggressive sometimes or they can be in
groups which again makes me feel more scared, so you kind of need to know where to go, not just
530
walk around any area, let’s say.” However, a similar expression towards such type of
districts can be found in Milan as well: “[W]hen I was a teenager, I used to come to Milan with
my friends and we never go to Gae Aulenti because there are bad people there, so now it is one of
the coolest parts of Milan, it is like...I saw it growing up so that is why I don’t feel its fake, because
531
it was not build in a day like City Life.” A type of place that has been mentioned more o en
are certain shopping centres, so for example as a possibility to take a walk when it is cold

527
Interviews. Manchester. (2021-2022)
528
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
529
See for example: https://www.archdaily.com/948330/when-the-american-dream-became-the-urban-planning-nightmare
530
Interview. Manchester. (September 2021)
531
Interview. Milan. (November 2020)
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532
and rainy, which is fairly o en the case. This however has not been mentioned by one
respondent in Milan.

The previously worked out images of the cities have been validated and supported by
statements from respondents: People think of Manchester as a generally very friendly
place with open-minded people, sometimes even that being the reason for them having
533
moved to Manchester. Milan on the other hand may share some impression with
London, as the financial centre of the United Kingdom and for many people the loneliest
place because similarly, people may be perceived as snobby or egoistic, as this quote from
a Manchester respondent describe: “The promise of...if you move to London, it is the best city
in the country, so much to do, everyone is there...the loneliest place I have ever been to in my
life...no one talks to you, people get out of your way...it is so expensive to live there...it is
534
ridiculous.”

There are therefore different social and spatial conditions that on one hand influence the
cause and experience of loneliness and on the other influence the coping behaviour with
loneliness - in what ways is it actually possible to cope? They manifest themselves in the
spatial narratives of respondent’s and it is safe to say that spaces o en serve as extensions
of people’s feelings or needs to identify and feel at home - even away from home - to feel
safe, understood, and recognized but also distracted. Next, I will provide a full list of all
themes grouped into the respective coping behaviour. Following this, I will explain each
coping behaviour in more detail later on. Each theme is mentioned here as o en as people
have mentioned it to me, so as to display the variety of activities that one theme can
account for. The light grey themes are the main ones, meaning the most o en used of each
coping behaviour but also the essences of each behaviour:

532
Interview. Manchester. (September 2021)
533
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
534
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
194
195
196
197
 198

Figure 22: Complete list of themes and coping behaviours

 199

When I will explain the coping behaviours, it will become clear as to which criteria I have
developed and ordered them. To quickly note here, the essential criteria have been
whether it is done alone or with others, whether it involves staying at home or using urban
public or semi-public spaces. For example, the themes Avoidance, Refuge and Hide (figure
above) of the coping behaviour RAA all aim at not doing something or not being
somewhere, but they describe this coping behaviour in different ways - from not going out
(and taking Refuge) to avoid something to going out but not going to certain spaces (Avoidance)
to going to a certain space but making oneself almost invisible (Hide). It may of course be a
question that along with other criteria, different themes would have been grouped but it is
to be kept in mind that all coping behaviours include one aspect of the experience of being
lonely and are therefore distinguishable from another. It is further noteworthy that these
criteria reflect topics previously discussed in the literature. I hereby want to illustrate this
using the concept of intentionality (being directed towards something, for example, an
object) and loneliness as a drive to display the orientations of the different behaviours:

Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC): Directed at oneself
Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US):
Directed at spaces and atmospheres
Environmental changes and chances (EC): Directed at environmental changes
Connecting and interacting with other people (CI): Directed at others
Pro-Active Behaviour and learned loneliness (PA): Directed at preventive measures
Changing one's mindspace (CM): Directed at a mental change in oneself
Refuge, Hide & Avoid (RHA): Directed away from something

Here it becomes more clear, that the coping behaviours could have been grouped again
into meta-categories, so, for example, EOC and CM, which are both self-directed but in
very different ways. CM is distractive but also imaginative, whereas EOC poses what
could be called a healthy attempt to understand oneself and turn feeling lonely into the joy
of being alone. However, I would also like to quickly point out the names of the main
themes (indicated in grey in the figure above) and their origin.

Solitude: The name is derived from many works, in which the differences between solitude
and loneliness are described. To name two that have inspired me in this thesis: Hannah
 200

Arendt, The Origins of Totalitarianism and Robert J. Coplan, Julie C. Bowker, Larry J. Nelson,
The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on Social Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and
535536
Being Alone.

Discovery: The term discovery plays with the idea that by discovering new spatial
scenarios, atmospheres and environments, a person may discover something about herself
or himself. The Cambridge dictionary generally describes it as “the process of finding
537
information, a place, or an object, especially for the first time, or the thing that is found: [...].”

Escapism: The term is, as many others, closely related to statements of respondents, such
538
as when a respondent states: I needed to escape for the weekend. The book Escapism by
Yi-Fu Tuan has further inspired me to rely on this as a theme, as Tuan roots the idea of
539
escapism culturally in urban spaces.

Social Connection: As explained earlier, the idea of social connection, such as achieving
540
more or being happy with less is a central theme around loneliness. The work Social Why
Our Brains Are Wired to Connect by Matthew Lieberman has further helped me to think more
541
thoroughly through the idea of connection: Do we always mean verbal connection? What
ways of connection exist? Ervin Goffman and his works, especially The Presentation of Self in
Everyday Life and Relations in Public have further helped me to think through the everyday
roles people take to wire and construct social connections alongside social norms in
542543
various ways and forms.

Routine: Again, routine has become a theme that has been inspired by respondents, who

535
Hannah Arendt. “The Origins of Totalitarianism.” (Cleveland, The World Publishing Company, 1951): 476
536
Robert J. Coplan, Julie C. Bowker and Larry J. Nelson. “The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on Social
Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and Being Alone”. (Hoboken, Wiley-Blackwell, 2021)
537
Cambridge Dictionary. “Discovery.” Cambridge, Cambridge University Press. (accessed: 02.05. 2022).
https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/discovery
538
Interviews. Milan. (2020-2021)
539
Yi-Fu Tuan. “Escapism”. (Baltimore, Johns Hopkins University Press, 2000)
540
See for example Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness” Chapter 2 in
Steve Duck and Robin Gilmour. “Personal Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981)
541
Matthew Lieberman. “Social: Why Our Brains are Wired to Connect”. (New York, Crown, 2013)
542
Erving Goffmann. “The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life”. (Anchor, New York City, 1959)
543
Erving Goffmann. “Relation in Public: Microstudies of Public Order”. (Abingdon, Routledge, 2010 [1979])
 201

544
would express - I am trying to keep a healthy routine. However, the idea of having a routine
545
is also discussed with regard to psychological benefits.

Belonging: Belonging is a common theme in urban studies and research on communities

546
and migration. In this particular thesis, the name is derived from Habitus: A Sense of
Place by Emma Rooksby, precisely the chapter, Belonging: towards a theory of identification
547
with space by Neil Leach. Belonging can also be understood as the spatial equivalent to
social connection.

Nostalgia: Nostalgia is a rather difficult term to use so I want to express quickly the way I
mostly utilise it in this research. More o en than not, it appeared in interviews with
people who had moved to Milan from Southern Italy, less in the Manchester context.
These people would express a nostalgia, emphasised by the inability to move during the
548
pandemic, for their hometowns, villages and family. The work What Nostalgia Was: War,
Empire, and the Time of a Deadly Emotion by Thomas Dodman have further shed light on the
term. Here it can be learned that Nostalgia, just as Melancholy was treated as a separate
disease, for example when soldiers of the Napoleon army were spending months in Russia,
549
missing home, food and family. Beyond the spatiality, nostalgia may also have a
temporality, so for example when saying that someone uses a sense of Nostalgia to dream
oneself into a better period in their lives. This may also mean that this theme may for
some people make the actual loneliness worse, by adding another (intensifying) layer to it -
I feel lonely where I am but I also cannot be where I would know, I would feel better.

Avoidance: Avoidance is a literal term from respondents’ statements but also adapted
550
from psychology, where there is a concept of avoidance coping. Similar psychological
adaptations, whose explanation would lead too far are projection - to project one's feelings

544
Interviews. Milan. Manchester. (2020-2021=
545
See for example: WebMD. “Psychological Benefits of Routines.” (October 2021). (accessed: 24.05.2022).
https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/psychological-benefits-of-routine
546
See for example: Annabelle Wilkins. “Migration, Work and Home-Making in the City: Dwelling and Belonging among
Vietnamese Communities in London.” (Abingdon, Routledge, 2019)
547
Neil Leach. “Belonging: towards a theory of identification with space”, Chapter 15 in Emma Rooksby and Jean Hillier.
“Habitus: A Sense of Place.” (Abingdon, Routledge, 2005)
548
Interviews. Milan. (2020-2021)
549
Thomas Dodman. “What Nostalgia Was: War, Empire, and the Time of a Deadly Emotion” (Chicago, University of
Chicago Press, 2018)
550
See for example: Elizabeth Scott. “Avoidance Coping and Why it creates additional Stress.” (February 2021). (accessed:
24.05.2022). https://www.verywellmind.com/avoidance-coping-and-stress-4137836
 202

onto someone or something else - or intensification - to feel one’s feeling even stronger by
551552
listening to a certain kind of music for example.

Other themes that may sound unusual to the reader are for example Derivé, a concept
developed in Theory of the Dérive by Guy Debord, that describes the mindless strolling
553
through the different ambiences of the city. Also some of the terms may seem recurrent,
so for example Quick-Relief and Escapism. However, these terms distinguish themselves -
as all terms - in the first intentions of the person and the applied social and spatial
resources. Escapism, therefore, describes a more profound escape, more o en than not a
spatial relocation whereas quick relief may indicate smoking a cigarette or listening to a
song. Such terminology in themes reflects similarly on my intention, to stay as close as I
can without being too complex in my developed typology and reflect respondent’s
experiences with as many categories as necessary. Further, simply because two people
cope in the same way does not mean they attempt to achieve the same thing for the reason
that their loneliness is a subjective experience. Additionally, as I invited the reader earlier
to consider loneliness a fluid, dynamic process with ups and downs, simply speaking, the
same shall be done with the coping directions - sometimes simply it cannot be completely
investigated where one theme does stop and one ends - when does going out with friends
stops being a distraction and turns into the appreciation for the benefits of social
connection. Usually, I would have explained the first and main themes, but if both themes
are connected to expectations of different outcomes, both are mentioned.

PART IV
Towards a Socio-Spatial Typology of Loneliness
UCLA-Results

Here are the overall UCLA scores of the respondents:

Milan: average score: 48,8; male: 47.6; female: 49,3

551
Nancy McWilliams. Britannica. “Projection: Psychology”. (accessed: 02.05.2022), https://www.britannica.com/science/projection-psychology
552
See for example: Karyn Hall. Psychology Today. “Building Resiliency: Stop Intensifying Difficult Emotions”. (September
2016). (accessed: 24.05.2022).
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-mind/201609/building-resiliency-stop-intensifying-difficult-emotions
553
Ken Knabb. Bureau of Public Secrets. Guy Debord. “Theory of the Dérive”. (accessed: 02.05.2022),
http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/2.derive.htm
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Manchester: average score: 52.9; male: 56,2; female: 50,6

Note how the overall score in Manchester is higher and how the scoring of males and
females is inverted, higher for females in Milan and higher for males in Manchester. To
understand these scores: High level of loneliness: 44 or higher; Low level of loneliness: less
554
than 28; Middle level: 33 to 39. Any conclusion on loneliness and gender based on these
scores would however be speculation, especially because of the lower number of male
respondents in Milan and the generally lower number of interviews in Manchester.

At the beginning of this main chapter of findings, I would like to start by coming back to
the UCLA results from the initial questionnaire. To my knowledge, there are not many
pre-determined ways UCLA results can be analysed qualitatively, beyond identifying the
intensity of someone’s loneliness. However, I would like to point my attention at a few
questions specifically. Across Milan and Manchester respondents, those are the questions
most o en answered with always:

How o en do you feel outgoing and friendly?

How o en do you feel you can find companionship when you want it?
How o en do you feel that there are people you can talk to?
How o en do you feel that there are people you can turn to?

Note how these questions are exclusively ‘positive’ questions, meaning the type of
questions that will be scored invertedly. On the other hand, it was mainly ‘negative’
questions that were most o en answered with never across both samples:

How o en do you feel that there is no one you can turn to?
How o en do you feel no one knows you well?

Those are the questions that significantly more o en than others have received either
always or never as an answer. In general, this indicates that people seem much more eager

554
John Cacioppo and William Patrick. ”Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection”. (New York,
Norton Paperback, 2009): 271-272
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to express their actual well-being, also in terms of their social life, in strong answers than
they are to express a lack in their social life - I always feel outgoing and friendly and I never
feel that no one knows me well. Perhaps precisely because of the UCLA scale de-valuing
positive questions by scoring them oppositely compared to negative questions, so the
higher the result, the more lonely someone seems to be. The always-never divide may
further indicate that people may make an attempt to maintain a more positive self-image
(leading to a response bias, to not appear too lonely) and view of their social circles, but it
may also indicate that people may not know where their feeling of loneliness results from.
For the latter, an explanation could be the pandemic-related lockdowns, which simply
keep one away from the necessary social contact or limits the quality of these social
interactions.

Mostly, however, people answered sometimes or rarely - a so-called neutral response bias
555
which may be in line with a general pattern of how questionnaires are answered.
Generally, there is a pattern that people who have answered the positive questions more
o en with always, have also used always more o en in the negative questions. This seems to
point to a generally higher level of expression or sensitivity. A similar pattern with never
could not be found. Additionally, there is no ground to believe that the more one thought
about one’s loneliness, the stronger the answers as people may have felt certainty and the
need to express their feelings. Probably, whether someone chooses to display their feelings
more strongly has to do with the character of that person, trust towards the survey and me
as a researcher and perhaps the very feeling of loneliness in the moment of answering.

Lastly, I would like to look at two questions in a qualitative manner and the type of
responses in both cities. The first question is: How o en do you feel alone? - thus an almost
direct measure of loneliness. All ten respondents from Manchester answered sometimes,
half of the respondents from Milan did. Again, there is no ground to assume that the
respondents were lonelier if they answered this question with sometimes or even always,
which somewhat questions the validity of more direct measures of loneliness - if a lonely
person will not answer a direct question of loneliness in a manner that would give away
loneliness, then the identification of the phenomenon is more complex than initially or
o en assumed. This would argue for the broadest and thematically rich questionnaires
possible. If anything can be generally concluded, it is that the people that scored the
highest on this questionnaire used rarely and sometimes as their most common answers, so

555
Jack Delaney. Paperform. “The 5 Most Harmful Survey Response Biases (And How to Avoid Them)”. (March 2021).
(accessed: 03.05.2022). https://paperform.co/blog/survey-response-bias/
 205

all negative questions were answered with sometimes and all positive ones with rarely,
ending up in a high level of loneliness, due to the inverted scoring explained above.

The next question that I was interested in is How o en do you feel that there are people who
really understand you? - touching upon the impression or issue of not feeling understood by
the others around or not being able to communicate one’s problems. The realisation worth
pointing out here is that rarely, thus an honest low score has been used by Manchester
respondents much more o en indicating that generally, people in Manchester may be
more open to expressing their negative and positive emotions. It may also indicate that
Manchester respondents are more receptive and feel more easily le behind or
misunderstood when feeling lonely, regardless of whether they made an attempt to
communicate it or not. Therefore, there are slight indications that respondents from
Manchester feel more lonely or are more expressive about their loneliness, which may
further point to the cultural domain or the social stigma explained earlier, which cap
stronger expressions of emotions in Milan.

However, I will not further analyse this questionnaire and only come back to it if needed
when referring to one specific respondent for example. The reason for that is that people
o en expressed that they would not feel represented by the test, suggesting changes to the
answers such as the option most of the time. In my experience, people who were not
satisfied with the test o en did not pursue the interview, as they may perhaps have feared
that it would not represent them, although I told them that the interview is the main
focus. I would further suggest that such questionnaires should be used very carefully and
their results cannot be compared to the understanding of a qualitative interview. The
UCLA Loneliness Scale is interesting for the reason that the 20-item version covers
various questions about loneliness - social network, feeling happy alone, activities,
communication. It may not help at all to know how lonely someone is based on a
scoresheet as, for example, a person ending up with quite low loneliness of 30 may still
feel subjectively more lonely than a person ending up with a high score of 60, depending
on the cause and character.

Definitions of Loneliness

A er the interviews had begun, I asked respondents to make an attempt and

define loneliness for themselves (as opposed to what they may have read in the literature
themselves). Part of this process is to understand how a respondent conceptualises
 206

loneliness. The following table contains definitions of respondents in Milan in direct

thematic comparison with respondents from Manchester.
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Figure 23: Thematic comparison of definitions of loneliness by respondents

I have ordered them along the main key words from each definition but would like to say
that each and every person has a unique way of defining loneliness, yet still there are
patterns across the cases. These keywords are simply to order the definitions along some
 208

of the topics I have discussed earlier and to illustrate, which different aspects of loneliness
respondents may choose to emphasise for themselves.

It can already be seen that, other than in the academic definition at the top of the table,
loneliness is captured in a broader variety of ways. Hence why, I suggest that a definition
of loneliness should, as opposed to what is commonly understood as a definition, be
considered a broad framework with key terms and ideas rather than a precise and narrow
take on the matter. In anticipation of that and potential difficulties to be clear about
whose experience should be included in the research as it fits the definition and whose
not (as stated earlier: some respondents may be socially isolated per definition), I have
decided to do phenomenological research, aiming at taking the experience of respondents
as their subjective lifeworld of loneliness and their subjective perception of the experience.

Nevertheless, loneliness no longer stands only for a social discrepancy or biological

protection to not remain socially isolated, but other emerging keywords are Obsession,
Difference, Connection, Depression, Understanding, Environment, Isolation. It is thus intrinsic,
as with Obsession, and extrinsic, as with Environment or Isolation - I need something from
556
someone vs. someone demands from me that I may not be able to give or have. The inquiry
about loneliness is therefore always an inquiry into the individual and socio-spatial
narratives of the respondents and as much as that, general views about various aspects of
everyday life can be understood, for example, the behaviour towards strangers. One could
therefore say, in the broader definition of loneliness lies the whole experience, including
the coping and the potential outcome in-between the lines. But additionally, as the
definitions differ, so coping mechanisms do. These coping mechanisms are further based
on the character of the person, for example, a shy person may perceive the theme of
Difference more likely, as this person may feel that others are not listening or are not
sensitive enough and will therefore direct attention towards those aspects of feeling
understood by other people. In any of the analytical steps, reading and rereading the data
is essential, as it is very easy to get carried away, especially when having developed
themes, so when the point comes to reconnect these themes to the data, for example, to
establish practical applications of my findings, the themes can be too abstract and
distanced. Hence, relying on the original quotes alongside is essential.

556
The definitions could have been ordered along the identified themes, however origins of loneliness and coping
behaviour are related but essentially in a complex manner. I have therefore simply chosen to rely on the wordings of my
respondents for the categories, that serve to give an overview rather than to support my typology of themes or coping
behaviours.
 209

As the definitions are highly personal, it makes sense to look at the differences in the
causes, as of course, these two aspects are highly related. They are related in the sense that
both are the origin of loneliness - the cause is the situation/circumstance, and the
definition will clarify the reason or personal perception of that circumstance for that
person. It can be said, for example, that people that just moved to Milan, may face
difficulties to find friends - either because they are too shy or do not like Milanese
working mentality or are coming from a small village in the south and are used to a much
denser social network. When this person has a high level of mistrust towards general
others caused by the new environment, causes become intermixed and overlap, o en
perhaps not to be distinguished by the person itself. Being then confronted with an
extraordinary situation like the lockdown may consequently put that person in a perceived
hopelessness, where even for that person the actual causes may be less clear as actual
loneliness may show itself as sadness or frustration, so coping with it is a very difficult
task and requires self-reflection. That person may feel loneliness very intensely, which in
return may temporarily alter that person’s character to a significant extent, so that simple
tasks or efforts to make friends become very difficult (see the vicious circle of
557
loneliness). However, there is another line that connects cause and experience, that is
that the cause is not necessarily a moment of awakening or understanding, but the cause
may only become clear through the experience itself. The first time, people may start to
consciously realise a difference in their everyday life could be the moment when people
attempt to trace back when this started or analyse the circumstances that have caused
this. Hence why the conceptual model I introduced earlier had lines of connection
between both phases, which not always can be clearly distinguished other than to say the
cause is the event or period and the experience is the consequence and coping.

Symbols of Loneliness

In line with phenomenology, another minor step of analysis included the search for
symbols, as generally introduced earlier. The upper part of the chart displays symbols used
by respondents from Milan and the lower ones are from the respondents in Manchester.

557
Gareth Furber. Flinders University. Students Health and Well-Being. (August 2018). (accessed: 24.05.2022)
https://blogs.flinders.edu.au/student-health-and-well-being/2018/08/20/increase-social-connections-improve-wellbeing/struggle-to-make-friends/
 210

Figure 24: Display of Loneliness-Symbols used by respondents

It seems difficult to determine any differences, however, it seems as if respondents from

Manchester rely on a more descriptive action-based symbolism, more o en than not
something very literal just like London - a space that had become the symbol for loneliness
for two respondents. On the other hand, respondents from Milan seem to use more
abstract concepts they would have found for themselves to understand their own
558
loneliness better - such as the Concept of Ma (“pause in time” or “emptiness in space”).
Further noteworthy is how some of the symbols for loneliness seem highly subjective, for
559
example, the Metro, whereas others may be more culturally rooted, such as Emptiness. In
any case, all of the symbols I could identify describe a unique relationship between the
individual and the social network in the sense that they are highly subjective.

Interestingly, very few symbols are used to express feelings of loneliness. Most of the time,
loneliness remains on a very descriptive level rooted in real-life experiences. The

558
See for example https://new.uniquejapan.com/ikebana/ma/
559
Interviews. Milan. Manchester. (2020-2021).
 211

possibility to abstract and describe the experience with symbols simply does not seem to
exist, as there may not be cross-culturally shared meanings of such. This may create a lack
of possibility to communicate the feeling: One has to find a listener, explain the problem
in rich detail and may simply find less resonance due to limited shared understanding. On
the other hand, this need to explain could be perceived as a benefit, as it may mean that
loneliness has fewer cultural connotations and the person one is talking to may develop
less stereotypes or relate to one’s own experiences less frequently for example compared to
the experience love - similarly complex but culturally imprinted with certain colours,
symbols, sentences. However, even with the absence of clear symbols, each and every
person I have talked to had an understanding of loneliness - either describing social
isolation or being unhappy by being with others.

It is worth pointing out that my focus on symbols has been mainly text-based and verbal.
Another approach could be built on Bourdieu by borrowing two ideas, namely habitus and
560
symbolic capital. In a research on loneliness among older retired people, Molina-Mula,
Gallo-Estrada and Gonzalez-Trujillo write: “Another question is the part of the symbolic
capital (recognition) that certain professions and jobs confer and which, undoubtedly, may
remain a er the disappearance of their practice (prestigious qualifications; socially
well-considered professions...). To a certain extent, they are incorporated into the habitus.
Older people worry about the need for care; they perceive dependence as a loss of
561562
freedom.” Inspired by this analysis, searching for symbols may be the search for
thoughts, worries or behavioural patterns. So for example amongst my Milan respondents,
moving to Milan to find a job, including working on ‘interesting’ projects and knowing
the right people may be symbolic acts. The accumulation of symbolic capital without
social capital could become the cause for loneliness - as perhaps being estranged from
oneself by having tried to impress others. As loneliness may provide a threat to one’s
symbolic capital, people may choose to become their own ambassadors of loneliness,
trying to take on the challenge of coping in an attempt to maintain symbolic value for
others. More interestingly is the question of how a person’s habitus adjusts and adapts to
loneliness, that is the question of to which degree loneliness is culturally, politically or
socially imprinted and represented by an individual. To offer a (stereotypical) example, it

560
See for example: Pierre Bourdieu and Priscilla Parkhurst Ferguson. “The Weight of the World: Social Suffering in
Contemporary Society” (Stanford, Stanford University Press, 1993) and See for example: Pierre Bourdieu. [Translator: Peter
Collier]. “Habitus and Fields: General Sociology Vol. 2..” (Cambridge, Polity, 2020)
561
Jesús Molina-Mula. Julia Gallo-Estrada and Antonio González-Trujillo. “Self-Perceptions and Behavior of Older People
Living Alone.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Vol. 17 No. 23. (2020): 14
562
Pierre Bourdieu. “Sociología y Cultura”. (Mexico City, Conaculta, 1990)
 212

could be imagined that walking along a rather isolated road in the evening listening to
music can be understood as a symbol of loneliness in the Manchester context, whereas
being overly social and bubbly could be one in the Milanese context. Yet, the analysis of
such other symbols is a difficult and vague task. Nevertheless, the more such behavioural
symbols a person may have, the more symbolic capital; this symbolic capital may lead to
social capital, by being the friend that knows about loneliness and that others want to talk
to.

Figure 25: Respondent. Milan. SEO Sexting Veronica

One of my respondents from Milan has kindly allowed me to use one of his lyrics for
further analysis of loneliness symbols. I have translated it using DeepL. It becomes clear
immediately that this work on loneliness is rooted in a digital world: The words
notifications, message to view as well as the ‘Youtube searches’ in the second verse represent
that. Looking at the lyrics, one quote comes to mind, namely that loneliness “[...] can just
563
be the empty inbox on your phone.” In that sense, one could say that the smartphone,
perhaps a symbol for the possibility and opportunity of social connection, becomes a main

563
Charles Handy. “The second curve: Thoughts on reinventing society” (London: Random House Books, 2015): 208
 213

trigger of loneliness if it does not enable these connections. Interesting to note is also the
phrase “There is a man who secretly stares at me - When the screen is all black”. It is up to the
author to explain this phrase, however, one could argue that it displays the feeling of being
overly visible when feeling lonely, which has also been expressed by other respondents.
Other interpretations could include shame. Clear is further the link between affection for
a person and loneliness, indicated by “There just only one le - Jest a message to view - Posted
by Veronica” and one could further say that in this context another person can be one’s
symbol of loneliness - in this instance, the symbol can be understood as a trigger. I,
therefore, hope to have individual, social and cultural understandings of loneliness but I
want to stress again, that it is a difficult undertaking to find any objective truth in the
experience of loneliness.

Development of Coping Behaviours based on Themes

In this step of my data analysis, I would like to explain the previous list of my
identified themes and their respective coping behaviours in more detail, in other words:
What coping behaviours are newly identified in this dissertation and what socio-spatial
implications do they entail? I will start by making use of the literature, specifically the
coping behaviours suggested by Perlman and Peplau and Rokach. I will attempt to place
my themes into the three identified coping behaviours of Perlman and Peplau and analyse
whether new coping behaviours have been identified, or simply, whether there is a
discrepancy between my own coping behaviours and the ones in the literature.
A erwards, I will do the same with the coping behaviours suggested by Rokach, before I
will finally present my own coping behaviours and analyse them in more detail.
 214

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Figure 26: Comparison of Own Coping Behaviours with Perlman and Peplau. (1981)

If I attempt to sort my identified themes into the suggested coping behaviours by Perlman
and Peplau, it can be seen that these coping behaviours are also identified in my research.
However, I have identified themes that are not necessarily part of Perlman and Peplau’s
behaviour (as then put in the field Other) as well as themes that could be in more than one
category. It is further noteworthy, how the behaviour of Minimizing Loneliness has received
the most of my themes, indicating that it is either the vaguest of Perlman and Peplau’s
themes (and thus fits most of my themes) or it is an important and complex behaviour.
Alongside that realisation comes the difficulty that a lot of my themes can perhaps be
categorised in the group of Minimizing Loneliness, but that they are very different from one
another: Pro-actively trying to buffer oneself against loneliness (for example by

564
Letitia Anne Peplau and Daniel Perlman. “Towards a Social Psychology for Loneliness” Chapter 2 in Steve Duck and
Robin Gilmour. “Personal Relationships in Disorder”. (London, Academic Press, 1981)
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volunteering or taking part in other social activities) and escaping a space to have a new
experience or find relief are very different things from one another. Following this, I will
now do the same with the coping behaviours explained by Rokach in 2001.

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Figure 27: Comparison of Own Coping Behaviours with Rokach. (2001)

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Similarly here, some themes are not fitting the existing categories. It is noteworthy that
the different themes could be if that would be the task, put solely in the existing
categories, however, that is to deny the coping behaviour of some respondents. Whereas
for example, some people try to achieve more social contact and to increase activity by
confronting themselves with their feelings or another person, that is not true for everyone
and thus it is not the essence of the coping behaviour. There is always only one of such
main motivations (or essences) in one theme and that motivation has to be applicable to all
respondents. Opposed to Perlman and Peplau, it can be seen that some of Rokach’s
themes are hardly reflected. That might be because for example Self-development and
Understanding and Reflection and Acceptance might be very similar, so the need to separate
them creates gaps. In fact, I would rather support the notion that Self-development and
Understanding could have been a part of Reflection and Acceptance. However, it becomes
also clear that the variables that separate one theme from another have been different
across all studies - Peplau and Perlman’s behaviours are directed at the self and the social
network. Rokach’s more so only on the individual and mine, so the idea, is on the

565
Ami Rokach. “Strategies of Coping with Loneliness throughout the Lifespan. “ Current Psychology: Developmental -
Learning - Personality - Social Spring. Vol. 20, No. 1. (2001)
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Again, the idea behind categorising is to ask about one’s motivation by doing something and if the motivation is not
possible to be put into the existing categories, then there is reason to believe that there are other coping behaviours.
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individual in the socio-spatial environment. Here, differences may further have emerged
from different understandings of loneliness, so does Rokach for example concentrate on
gender and age and states: “An examination of the pattern of coping skills of the genders
across age groups indicated significant differences for men on Reflection and acceptance
and Religion and Faith. Women differed significantly on all but Social support network and
Religion and Faith. It thus appears that the use and benefit of Social support network and
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Religion and Faith may be characterised by gender-neutrality.” Lastly, I would like to
compare both with each other:

Figure 28: Comparison of Perlman and Peplau with Rokach

In this order, Minimising Loneliness and Distancing and Denial are clearly the same idea,
however, one of the problems I want to mention is how some of the coping behaviours
seem more relevant or widespread than others. That is because these categories are filled
with more coping behaviours. I will henceforth, rather than only providing coping
behaviours, provide my identified behaviours alongside their themes. Themes henceforth
are interpretations of one coping behaviour. I rely on them not only to be closer to the
data but also to be able to trace back, understand and identify my coping behaviours by
being close to its real-life application. As the themes in themselves are rich, the question
becomes what the underlying pattern or motivation is across the themes. The goal is to
establish a new overview of coping behaviours, that reflects on the literature but that is
closer to my data. It is further noteworthy that it is here and now, where social and

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Ami Rokach. “Strategies of Coping with Loneliness throughout the Lifespan. “ Current Psychology: Developmental -
Learning - Personality - Social Spring. Vol. 20, No. 1. (2001): 14
 217

cultural factors matter. For example, Religion and Faith is a category not represented
amongst my respondents but would have been probably more strongly relevant in another
context or geography or focus. Further, a theme like derivé - getting lost wandering the
city - may for some be the search for solitude, for other people to get distraction and for
others just to change of place. This theme could have therefore been easily assigned to one
of the categories, however the theme's motivation, so what people try to achieve compared
to what they actually achieve, is key, and for Derivé this is mainly finding new urban
experiences, getting acquainted with the city and using urban spaces to take one’s mind
off of something. This initial motivation cannot fit the existing coping behaviours,
regardless of whether in the end it also distracted people or helped them to self-reflect.
Therefore, the following are the criteria I took into consideration to establish my coping
behaviours:

- What is the initial intention of the person doing that activity?

- Is this activity directed at oneself, at others or both?
- Is this activity a general part of people’s lives or only when lonely?
- What is the socio-spatial context of that coping behaviour?

This is the essence of my research outcome. I have relied mainly on descriptive titles for
coping behaviours so as to be as clear and explicit as I can. The first question the reader
may ask now is simple: Which coping behaviours are new?

Figure 29: Coping Behaviours. Brennecke. (2022)

US and PA are newly identified. For other coping behaviours, certain themes or
interpretations may be newly identified. Further, Increase Activity suggested and defined by
Rokach as “[...] active pursuit of daily responsibilities as well as fun-filled solitary or group
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activities, thus [maximising] one's social contacts.” shows how solitary activities and group
activities are compiled into one coping behaviour, whereas my research clearly
demonstrates the importance of grasping and analysing these two essential categories
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(alone - with others) separately. Further, such activities are not always ‘fun-filled’ in my
understanding.

Figure 30: Final comparison of coping behaviours

I will now give an example of the theme of social connection, thus demonstrating how
people attempt to achieve social connection in Milan compared to Manchester. This will
illustrate some of the variables connected to the themes as well as illustrate how a theme
can be read and understood. This theme is, for example, determined by what people think
of other people, strangers so to speak, but also by the person’s character, socio-spatial
environment, previous experiences and so on. This will influence how people seek out new
social connections. Other themes may be determined by other variables: One could think
for example that a theme called relax is determined by the perception of available greenery
or one’s living situation. However, here is a quote from a respondent in Milan:

“If I am very much into myself and maybe I don't know I just touched someone for like...because I
did not move in the space properly it is just like we just bumped into each other and I am supposed
to say 'Sorry' or 'Hi'... I am supposed to say something and sometimes I have this feeling that my
words do not really go out my mouth. I mean I say that, I know I say that but then I wonder 'Did

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Ami Rokach. “Strategies of Coping with Loneliness throughout the Lifespan. “ Current Psychology: Developmental -
Learning - Personality - Social Spring. Vol. 20, No. 1. (2001): 7
 219

they hear that?' - 'Did I say that out loud?' and sometimes I am having music in my ear so it is like
something to do with that but sometimes I don't and I am not sure that I actually pronounce that
word, so I am really into myself most of the time. I would never talk to a stranger in such a
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situation, I am pretty shy.”

And another quote from Milan, to attempt to eliminate individual characteristics in the
conception of strangers:

“Hmm, well I find it difficult sometimes to ask a friend to go out with me when I feel shitty
because I feel a little bit ashamed of myself so I tend to go out...and maybe sometimes it is just that
I know people around here so I write in a group chat of WhatsApp and ask who is around, who
wants to hang out, take a beer or to have a walk around, that happens, that happens sometimes so
I do not ask very much my flatmate because I see them every day and I do not want to wave on
them….I try to look for somebody else.”

My question: Also for strangers?

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You mean, I don’t know how to engage with strangers. It is difficult.

Here is a quote from a Manchester respondent:

“Just connections, be nice to people. Something that I would do sometimes if I have a bad time. If I
have to go and get the kids from school, I would force myself to leave the house five minutes
earlier...walk slower...sounds so stupid but I will purposefully greet every single person on my way to
school.”

My response: Interesting.

“New Zealanders do that alone. Hey, are you alright? All very cheery and since being away, I have
not done that so much, especially in Germany, people would look at you like you are nuts. But if I
have a bad day, that is a quick way to give myself an internal boost, atching their reaction as
well...just a smile...it does help combat a bit of loneliness.

My response: But these are complete strangers?

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Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
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Interview. Milan. (April 2021).
 220

Yeah.It is almost like a little game that I play.

My response: I would imagine it takes a lot of energy.

Yes, but if I have a very shitty day and I do want to take care of my kids, I do not want to turn up
to school in a very bad mood….shitty mindspace and be a grumpy mom. I play that game and it
gives me a little boost, how I get someone to have a surprised look on their face and how it causes a
smile. That makes me laugh a little bit...hahaha. It gives you a little boost. They might have not
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had anyone talk to them all day… and now some random person smiles.”

The general point to make, which could perhaps be surprising to some, is that people in
Manchester will make much more direct attempts - for the most part - to engage with
strangers as means to get to know new people. Milan respondents would generally help
others in need and talk to them, but it seems vastly unimaginable that a female respondent
in Milan would make an attempt to talk to a stranger on the street out of the blue.
Alongside this notion comes the realisation that people in Manchester are more likely to
go out alone compared to the Milan respondents. Thus, people in Milan have to find other
ways to make social connections, such as going out with friends of friends or joining clubs,
gyms or theatre groups to be involved with other people. On top of that, it seems that
people in Manchester have (or pretend to have) good social skills when it comes to small
talk, but that seems limited to their own gender and ethnicity. Here are two examples of
that:

“The old geezer that sat there, drinking his beer. I could easily go to him and start a conversation
‘Yo man, how's work? Same shit different day?’ and start a conversations...white working class
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lad..that is my tribe.”

“Like if it is an older guy...I could say, haha, you are in the same boat as I am...the last round as for
all those 18 year olds...you know it depends on the context of what you have got. One thing that I
always have, my mom tells me. One thing I always have in my back pocket is the ability to talk
about football at great length and in a male circle, that will get you...very basic but that will get you
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a conversation with anyone.”

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Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
572
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
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Interview. Manchester. (January 2021)
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It can be seen that even one theme can indicate different actions in different contexts.
Another relevant question is whether there are themes that are only in one geographical
context and not in another. Belief for example was only mentioned to me once in
Manchester whereas Intensification was only noticed in Milan. I will explain the
differences I have found in-between the cities more in detail, but it is however noteworthy
for now, that nearly all identified coping behaviours are reflected in both cities - obviously
to different extends and degrees - but that there there is ground to assume, that these
coping behaviours are similar across different geographies, so at least amongst these two
geographical and cultural contexts. That may be so because the experience of loneliness
has universal characteristics so that people’s response does not always vary in such similar
contexts, but the way these responses (meaning coping behaviours) are applied.

Here I will come back to the concept of understanding loneliness as the discrepancy
between what is desired and what is achieved, for example in terms of social connections.
This concept has been put forward by Perlman and Peplau and in some interpretations be
used as the foundation for most definitions and works on loneliness. Also in this work, I
have shown that my identified coping behaviours are vastly motivated by this discrepancy.
However, I want to close this chapter with two considerations. Firstly, when concentrating
on a discrepancy, the feelings and thoughts causing this discrepancy are o en taken as the
frame, rather than investigated themselves. Therefore, I believe my coping behaviours are
more explanatory in the sense that they display a rich variety of ways that people apply to
deal with this discrepancy. To offer an example: According to Perlman and Peplau, a
person that moves to a new city trying to find a friend and is unable to do so may
concentrate on friendships from the previous place of residence. In my own reading of my
coping behaviours, this person may, however, also try to enjoy time alone, travel o en
back to the old place of residence or simply spend more time in public and semi-public
spaces amongst unknown others to maintain an illusion of social life. By looking more
closely at the ways people use to cope, one understands the actions leading from the
desired to the achieved. Secondly, the idea of self-adjustment is to be taken into account a
priori to the coping behaviours. Whereas the person from this example may feel lonely
because of not having a friend in the new city, this emotional experience is not fixed in
place. One may still be lonely but temporarily adjust, have moments of relief and design a
coping strategy (perhaps with more than one approach combined into a coping narrative) -
in other words: The experience of this discrepancy is fluid in its intensity. This is
especially so in urban spaces and individualistic societies (such as what I have focused on
in this research) as social opportunities are constantly created and changed - a talk to a
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stranger may feel like a success to a lonely person, even when no acquaintanceship or
friendships results from it. In that sense, coping behaviour needs to be connected to the
idea of self-adjustment. Coping attempts may increase when one’s “natural”
self-adjustment fails, but the coping itself can respark this adjustment: “Active coping was
found to be a significant predictor of adjustment, with this form of coping being
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associated with lower levels of depression, anxiety and stress.” Being able to adjust or
cope successfully may not fully erase a feeling of loneliness from one’s mind, but it may
spark a positive spiral: ”Individuals with greater confidence in their competence tend to
have both higher hope and stronger proactive coping. However, both self-efficacy and
proactive coping, as well as learning difficulties, were mediated by hope, suggesting that
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having hopeful beliefs predicts reduced levels of loneliness.” Hopes, beliefs, adjustments
and self-efficacy all participate to try to decrease the discrepancy between oneself and the
outside world. Most of these can be seen and are captured in the coping behaviours, that
are motivated by hope and constantly adjusted.

Towards a Phenomenological Typology

Analysis of each Coping Behaviour along Variables

In this part of the chapter, I will examine each coping behaviour based on
categories that have in some way or another been present throughout this research and
dissertation.. This is designed to offer an overview in what sense the socio-spatial
dimension of each coping behaviour is enacted. Please note also that the order has no
relevance.

- Avoidant - Confrontational
- Alone - with Others
- Who is involved? Strangers, Acquaintances, Friends, Family
- Public - Semi-Public - Private Space
- Spatial Openness - Intimacy
- More than once a week, once a week, more than once a month, once a month
- Safety/Risk - Reward (its potential to help)

574
Natasha S. Haynes and Peter E. D. Love. "Psychological adjustment and coping among construction project managers."
Construction Management and Economics Vol. 22. (2004): 138
575
Tamar Icekson; Oranit Davidson Begerano; Michal Levinson; Jenny Savariego and Malka Margalit. "Learning
Difficulties and Loneliness in College and Beyond: The Mediating Role of Self-Efficacy, Proactive Coping, and Hope."
International Journal of Environmental Research on Public Health. Vol. 18 No. 19 (2021): 9
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- Influence of Lockdown

Figure 31: Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC)

This first coping behaviour includes the themes solitude, self-expression, self-reflection,
self-acceptance, confrontation and control and it is one of the most common coping
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behaviours I have identified and includes the most themes. It is worth pointing out that
since one coping behaviour has various themes, this image above is an estimation or
average across the themes - displaying the essence that all themes share, so for example
that this coping behaviour does not involve (many) other people. However, this behaviour
is neither very confrontational nor very avoidant. It is more directed at feeling comfortable
by being with oneself, creating situations within which self-reflection can happen and
retaking control over one’s life. Hence why the main theme (main meaning most o en
used) is solitude - the state of being happy by oneself. Lonely people are likely to apply such
behaviour - in this research, every other person did so. Usually, friends and family are not
met but if someone goes, for example, for a walk, strangers or acquaintances - people
whose location was not previously not known to oneself - are the ones people come across.
Interactions are not necessarily desired and one dwells rather in one’s own mind space.
Preferred spaces vary, from crowded squares to quiet side streets. The only spatial
dimension people engaging with this coping behaviour do not frequently use is the
semi-public one, meaning people are less likely to go alone to a bar, café, or restaurant,
perhaps less frequently than they would go alone shopping or to a cinema. This is because
semi-public spaces o en require social interaction and one may feel more exposed to the
others around. Personal safety can be a concern for this coping behaviour, as one is by
oneself, so for example at night. Nevertheless, the reward is similarly high, as presumably
only by encountering oneself at some point in the experience of loneliness, one can come
to terms with it. Generally, managing time alone and seeking out social connection o en
seems to be the miasma of loneliness: One negotiates between not disappointing others,
taking responsibility for oneself and also listening to what one feels. The lockdown had a
minor influence on that as social distancing was the required way to stop the spread of the
virus and if anything, people were allowed to do it alone. Here now a few representative
examples of actual activities as done by my respondents ordered by the themes:

Solitude: Activities alone without social stigma (e.g. cinema, theatre)

Solitude: Having a dog and thus an excuse to go out alone
Solitude: Alone in Urban Nature (Parks, Graveyards)

Self-Expression: Being in an environment that stimulates one's character

Self-Reflection: Making analytical notes/plans about one's loneliness

Self-Acceptance: Feeling well in one's loneliness

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Control: Walking a lot to feel alive and feel it is possible

I hope that by showing these examples, it is possible to gain an overview of the different
mindsets people are applying. For example Having a dog and thus an excuse to go out alone
makes clear how sensitive or vulnerable people that experience loneliness can be. It also
becomes more evident how self-directed this coping behaviour is, whether that means
someone orients oneself with oneself outwards by making music or simply attempts to take
time and structure one’s experience.

Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

The difference between the two sets of respondents ranks around the ability to do things
alone, so that Manchester respondents would join a pub quiz night alone whereas that
seems out of the question in Milan. Two reasons may be responsible for that: First, some
Manchester respondents seemed partly more on the social isolation side of loneliness,
thus actually having very little to none people in their lives, so that the urge to actually
continue doing activities alone is higher than the social or spatial boundaries that could
stop them. Secondly, there seem to be less open air activities and sub-centres in
Manchester, so that people are necessarily forced to go to a pub (space-based approach) if
one chooses to go out. In any case, I have the feeling that activities done alone by Milan
respondents were truly solitary (I will go out alone), whereas in Manchester, these activities
were solitary at first, but had high social expectations, namely that it will be possible to
encounter someone. Here an example for that: “Realistically in my head, I know I should not
just kind of sit there and observe but yeah, sometimes I am like...if they threw frisbee and it landed
here and I am like ‘hi here is your frisbee’....I would kind of like thin, what would happen? What
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kind of social interactions would happen and I play it out in my head but at least I imagine it.”

Overall, the variety of activities with that solitude can be achieved seems much more
diverse in Milan, although that can be partly explained by the many more respondents
from Milan and the overall better weather conditions: As simple as it sounds, long walks
were less present amongst the Manchester respondents (as it rains simply more) and
overall, the reliance on cars to get somewhere ‘pleasant’ may be one factor for that. People
in Manchester seem more likely to drive to a shopping mall to walk inside, especially in
winter whereas Milan respondents are more located within already walkable

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Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
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neighbourhoods, so they o en just walk outside the door. Here is another example from a
Manchester respondent: “So there are a few bars, a few restaurants and you can see the
difference and so that is an area that is kind of ..quite a popular at the moment, so I will probably
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be happy to go there in the evening although for me it means to drive or cycle.”

Figure 32: Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US)

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Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
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This coping behaviour is generally more active and outward-directed than the previous
one and has a generally different orientation. It includes the themes of distraction, derivé,
perspective and discovery. Overall it is a very experience-oriented approach, so the main
theme discovery is the spatial equivalent to social connection, meaning where people are
actively seeking new spatial experiences and to be more strongly grounded in space, thus
commonly used when recently moved and want to get familiar with the city. Interestingly
enough, it is also one of the two themes previously not clearly identified, although it
seems to be exactly at the core of the experience of loneliness: People try to add new
elements and experiences to their life, as the old ones have somehow or other caused
loneliness. Is it both avoidant and confrontational: It is avoidant in the sense of using
spaces for new experiences that may be exciting and new but also distractive from one’s
thoughts. On the other hand, exploring one’s neighbourhood confronts oneself with one’s
current living situation - over time, one may achieve a sense of belonging. Whether that is
done alone or with someone else depends on social resources. Such exploration can be
frequent, for example, people choose to cycle to work instead of taking the metro to make
an active attempt to get acquainted with the city. Whether strangers or family members
are part of that process depends entirely on the person. Spatially speaking, the only type of
space that is excluded from this coping behaviour is the private space, as it is more
directed at the city and its potential to buffer loneliness. Safety may be risky as taking
(certain) streets at night or getting to know the wrong people may be dangerous. The
reward is relatively low as the social dimension is vague and loneliness may also have to be
addressed also socially. Lockdown and pandemic have an influence in that sense, that
there were periods when one could not leave the house or neighbourhood, both in Milan
and Manchester. Here are some examples of activities again:

Distraction: Being constantly distracted by being part of a theatre group

Distraction: Walking in shopping malls a er dark and in winter
Distraction; Going shopping with headphones

Derivé: Taking pictures of the city

Perspective: Reading public notes/poems that one can relate to

Perspective: Telling oneself (e.. during lockdown) that other people go through the same trouble

Discovery: Finding partner from hometown to feel well in hometown

Discovery: Going to smaller shops and discover spaces
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Overall, people applying this coping behaviour are simultaneously engaged with
themselves as well as with their social and spatial surroundings. They are hoping to
internalise these new experiences into a positive feeling, thus in a way enriching their
memory database or rewiring their lonely narrative. It o en takes a lot of energy to make
the effort for people to go out and seek out new experiences and it seems that for many, it
serves the need to have the time pass quicker.

Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

This coping behaviour is similarly more present in Milan, as Milan and Manchester are
cities that function in different logics, as I will explain more thoroughly in the next
chapter. Manchester, generally speaking, lacks viewpoints or riverfronts from where one
could get an overview of the city. Milan has these places and they are used frequently to
get a new perspective by physically changing one’s location as this respondent illustrates:

“Lambro. It is one of the biggest parks in Milan and I go all the time. Because if you go running
around the park, you put in one hour and a half.

My question: Really?

Yes yes, it is super super big. So if you walk a bit or run, it is like... you take one hour and a half. So
sometimes I go because you have the type of peak, it is not like a mountain, it is like a mini
mountain and you go up and you can see when the sun goes down and the view on Garibaldi, super
far. So sometimes, I just take food and put myself here and just watch the sun go down and turn
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back to the house.”

If I look at the main theme distraction, this theme plays out differently in Milan and
Manchester. In Milan, people make an attempt to discover new spaces within their
neighbourhood, for example, a new shop. Doing this, people attempt to explore the
resources around them in an attempt to achieve and maintain that feeling as a buffer
against loneliness. In Manchester, people are less focused on their neighbourhood and
new experiences may rather be achieved by watching a new movie or a new theatre play.
This difference influences people’s choices, so that people in Milan may choose to discover
certain characteristics of their neighbourhood, such as in Paolo Sarpi, which has been

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Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
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described as international and full of cultural experiences that always distract and help,
illustrated here by one respondent: “No, I have nothing specific. I want to lose myself so I really
don’t have a plan when I walk in this way. I always walk with my camera so I follow the instinct
you know. [...] In Milan? I think my favourite area, in general, is the Parco Sempione and Arco
Della Pace, Chinatown, those are my favourite areas. There is the park, kind of nature, Arco Della
Pace is very traditional architecture and also you can go into these more messy areas like
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Chinatown, it is more cosmopolitan, it is my favourite area.”

In Manchester, on the other hand, the idea of being a Mancoonian (being from Manchester)
seems to influence people’s choices of venues, so that old traditional establishment may be
sometimes preferred over newer bars, cafés or shops. In that sense, people try to discover
the new in the old and are more likely to reuse existing resources for new experiences.
Additionally, derivé, so the practice of mindlessly wandering around is more common in
Milan, that is mainly because in Manchester certain areas may be unsafe, especially at
night and o entimes main intersections and roads hardly allow access to other areas.

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Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
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Figure 33: Environmental changes and chances (EC)

This coping behaviour includes the themes of escapism, quick-relief, change of place, relax
and possibilities. Environmental changes and chances are mainly characterised by escapism,
that is to escape from one’s current socio-spatial environment. It is a common coping
behaviour and is o en mixed with others, such as CI or EOC, meaning looking for social
connection or finding solitude. Links and combinations between the different coping
behaviours are generally common and important so I will explain in the following
chapters how they play out with one another. However, characteristics of this coping
behaviour are the similarities of the themes escapism, change of place and quick-relief. By
looking at examples, the differences between them might become more clear.
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Escapism is to escape a place, whereas Change of place is to put oneself in a different

environment, less for the new experiences but more to find a space that matches one’s
mood. Important here is however the change in itself, which can include a pleasant train
ride, as explained by one respondent from Manchester: “It takes me 4 minutes on the train to
get into the city centre. Uhm, but I do enjoy that commute to Manchester because it gets me out
and about and then. [...] I do enjoy that kind of thing. 10 minutes of commuting. Right? Is it like I
don't even bother wearing earphones or anything? I just can't. I just. And I don't know, I just enjoy
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it.” Lastly, quick-relief is less of a spatial escape and more of a change of mind space, that
can be a spatial change but may also include a friend to a friend or listening to one’s
favourite song. Thus, there are different ways that people construct their environments,
whether they are looking to change them and escape or looking for the change itself.

EC is sought when a person feels overwhelmed and includes a weekend getaway, a

spontaneous walk to the Navigli, going to places where one feels that there are more
possibilities around or simply finding a space to relax and not think or care about one’s
loneliness. Therefore, it is very avoidant in nature but most likely very essential to allow
for more constructive coping a erwards - First, I need to get out of here and then I will see. It
is also o entimes done alone; mainly because one needs to be with oneself but more likely
because it is quite a spontaneous act - escaping is not necessarily always planned a long
time in advance, so involving others can be challenging. As it o en requires a spatial
change, like a little vacation, it cannot be done all too frequently - even if it is going to a
park unless the park is very close to someone’s home. Usually, it is done alone but friends
or family members will be the ones who most likely know about one’s location.
Sometimes, strangers may be relevant in the case that a person wants to talk about their
feelings and opens up to strangers, in my interviews this was mostly connected to seeking
social connection. Spatially there are no limits in terms of openness or intimacy, however, it
most o en requires leaving one’s home. Some people may achieve such escapism mentally
by making music at home, but this seems to be an exception - their environment itself has
to change in a way that one gets a new perspective on one’s life in the environment that
one has just lost. However, rather than seeking new experiences, this coping behaviour
serves mainly to avoid the old ones. Again, given that is mostly done alone and requires
perhaps access to unknown territories, like an island, natural park or mountain one has
never been to but always dreamt of going to. Further, it can be risky in financial terms:
People may feel the need to leave and their emotional tunnel perspective may make them

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Interview, Manchester, December, 2021
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spend more money than they normally would or perhaps even bring themselves into
emotionally even more challenging situations when they start to wish to escape from the
escape again, as this respondent’ from Milan illustrates: “No. I hate that and I hate travelling
alone. I did it once because I wanted to try because everybody was saying ….amazing ...a new thing.
And when I did it I felt so fucking lonely, I wanted to like escape it and I could not because I was
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on a missionary trip.” This time there is a high individual reward so that one realises one
is capable of doing such a thing alone and the new environment will further help to less
think about one’s loneliness. What starts an escape may turn into the realisation of one’s
capacity to change one’s emotional situation. Lockdowns and pandemic are major risks to
this coping behaviour, for example, if one is not allowed to leave a city.

Escapism: Staying outside the apartment (e.g. in greenery)

Escapism: Leaving a small home village because of people and job opportunities

Change of Place (Own): Changing environment according to new needs

Change of Place: Keep searching for connections and happiness

Quick-Relief: Saying hello to strangers for a quick mood boost

Relax: Going somewhere (e.g. public space with water, park) for the soul to relax

Possibilities: Having spaces that do not cost & where one can stay

Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

Generally, the opportunities people have in Manchester to get away for a weekend
compared to people in Milan are less, or better speaking, the idea of going to the
mountains or to one’s summer house is less common. In Manchester, getaways tend to be
urban places, such as a little allotment for gardening or a music studio away from home.
Out of the two avoidant coping behaviours, namely Environmental changes and chances and
Refuge, Hide and Void, the latter was much more common in Manchester, meaning people
seem to have the tendency to rather stay at home and insulate themselves as opposed to
actively going out and seeking a place to escape. That may have to do with the social
stigma or the perception of the city.

581
Interview. Milan. (June 2021)
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For Milan respondents, such escapism or quick-relief is very common. Noteworthy, I could
not identify one respondent for whom such a theme would be the primary coping
behaviour, so usually it is a follow-up coping behaviour to regulate one’s emotional or
social well-being by exposing oneself to new spatial or social experiences. First and
foremost, people seem to realise that getting away from what causes loneliness just
extends the coping period, so they choose another approach instead. It may further have
to do with the fact that most people cannot just leave or relax on most weekdays as they
work or study. Approaches such as spending one’s lunch break in the park seem therefore
much more feasible, as they can be integrated into one’s everyday life.

Overall, there is sometimes only a thin line between this coping behaviour and US, the
previous one connected to new environmental experiences. Seeking to escape something
and seeking out novel experiences can be very similar. The difference is however that the
new environment or headspace is differently utilised: When one enters a new environment
having escaped from the old one, it does not necessarily mean that the new environment is
actively observed, used or experienced - sometimes it may be enough for an environment
to be silent. It further does not mean that people always escape to a particular
environment. Mainly, the difference rests in the degree of urgency: I have to leave vs. I want
to go there.
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Figure 34: Connecting and interacting with other people (CI)

This coping behaviour includes the themes of social connection, sharing and guidance.
Together with EOC, this is the most common and o en identified coping behaviour
(similarly every second person) and the one that is present in the literature the most. The
main theme is social connection. Social connection can be achieved in different ways and
against perhaps common belief, it is not always necessarily also verbal social connection.
Whether it is confrontational, for example, talking with a friend about one’s problems or
avoidant is dependent on the person. Here is an example from both categories. Avoidant
from a respondent from Milan: “I grew up surrounded by people and family, always have
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someone around me, because I thought that was what makes me feel happy but changing city,
changing friends so on gave me some thoughts, because I was like OK but I want to be with these
people because I love them and because it is what makes me happy or just because I don’t want to
deal with my problems and I prefer to distract myself...I always care about people's problems but I
582
was not really dealing with my problems.”

The confrontational approach to social connection from a respondent from Milan: “I started
approaching strangers all the time ….like there were a lot of backpackers. And I used to talk to
anyone in order not to spend time alone and it was like desperate. I was looking at myself from the
583
outside and I was feeling like a desperate person.”

Thus it is always done with others and the frequency depends on the person, however, it
tends to be rather high when experiencing loneliness, as less frequent or rare interactions
may be, no matter how good they are, not enough in quantity. Here is an interesting
illustration from a Milanese respondent, that has mentioned her friends very o en during
the interview. Despite her own description, I felt that these friends are actually not much
seen or met: “[...] friends are good to go out with and have fun but mainly in my opinion, they
must be reliable, they must be there when you need them. All the other stuff, I can do it on my own
and I enjoy it anyways, I have this kind of independence, I have…..maybe I am a first period, in
how to define myself, but no, I don’t feel the need to find other friends because I am OK with the
friends I have. Everyone has his or her own life so it is OK if I could go out one day but you can’t
584
and maybe the day you can, I can’t, so… that is life.”

The social connection ranges from friends to family to strangers to acquaintances,

depending on the cause of loneliness. Spatially there are no restrictions and even though
one could assume that social connection is most likely to be found outside, it is also that
one may invite friends over to create the condition for a qualitative interaction (for
example by having dinner together). The safety and risks are relatively low, as most people
that are open to others apply some degree of social or emotional intelligence to not get
along with the wrong people, at least so amongst my respondents. Of course, the influence
of the lockdown is massive and probably the biggest hindering factor for this type of
coping behaviour, having led popular media to come up with the idea that this pandemic
585
is actually a pandemic of loneliness, as mentioned earlier. Even though many people

582
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
583
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
584
Interview, Milan, May, 2021
585
See for example https://www.chcf.org/blog/pandemic-loneliness/
 236

moved their talks with friends online, many have perceived talking online as being of
minor quality compared to so-called real-life interactions. This coping behaviour is also
among the most active and outwards-oriented. Here now some examples of my
respondents and their activities:

Social Connection: Finding similar-minded people online

Social Connection: Borrowing someone's dog to make connections to others
Social Connection: Having mother moved in during lockdown which improved their relatives
Social Connection: Joining volunteering groups to have someone to talk to

Sharing: Common activities with others where equipment and ideas are shared
Sharing: Teaching young people lessons about life (and drugs)

Guidance: Having a mentor or close friend

It could be possible to say that other people are sometimes utilised for their resources,
such as the one having a dog or the one being in charge of the community garden. During
the course of loneliness, connection to other people, whether verbal or via chat or even
simply sharing a moment together such as listening to a street musician, others could be
seen as temporary helpers, not necessarily always forming long-lasting social connections.
This in return, may sometimes hurt other people, namely by the lonely person becoming
very quickly attached but similarly quickly detached for the pursuit of someone or
something else.

Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

There are two differences worth carving out: First, it seems that respondents in
Manchester are usually highly socially skilled, whether that concerns talking to strangers
as I illustrated earlier or talking to friends. Skilled in this context means knowing how to
establish a conversation or small talk spontaneously, which seems o en bound to one’s
gender and age cohort. On this note, there seems to be less social stigma in Manchester as
many respondents told me they would know other people who also feel lonely. Of course,
this conception is pushed by the fact that I do understand English and not Italian,
however, the approachability of others in Manchester seemed significantly higher,
whereas the conversations themselves run at a quick pace and could be perceived as
superficial at first, especially to a foreigner like me. This quick pace in talking could
 237

prohibit people from uttering emotions, as the conversational pace between two people
may have to be slower for that. The other difference is that social connection in
Manchester seems more strongly connected to activities, such as a pub quiz, volunteering
for a marathon or being part of a running group. In Milan, respondents tend to put the
social interaction first and then see which activities come up whereas in Manchester the
activity seems to come first in peoples' heads. Therefore, lonely people in Milan seem to
seek friends more closely related to their workplace, or home, such as colleagues or
neighbours. Manchester respondents seem to value interactions with strangers higher and
as more socially appropriate, whereas in Milan, the relationship with strangers, or
unknown others, is always a bit surprising, as this respondent explains: “I started to go
there, quite regularly but really I did not have any talk to anybody. I am not the kind of person who
starts to talk to strangers...I am quite open but I do not make the first approach, also because I do
not want to be misunderstood and if I do the first approach with a man, I just don’t do that but
586
people don’t talk to me.”

It further seems that lonely people in Manchester are willing to go extraordinary ways to
meet people, such as going roller skating, borrowing someone’s dog and thinking about
buying a bedroom instead of a whole flat to share the flat, which was a new residential
587
project in Manchester at the time. One could assume that there are fewer social norms
and higher value on individual freedom allowing individuals to explore more coping
behaviours. All those three instances would have probably been too distinct from the
prevailing social behaviour of people in Milan as generally, in line with what I stated
earlier about the different types of individualism, people may express their individualism
in collectively appropriate ways whereas in Manchester, people seem to express their
individualism more by doing simply what they want to do.

586
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
587
Interviews. Manchester. (2021-2022).
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Figure 35: Pro-active behaviour and learned loneliness (PA)

This coping behaviour has been newly identified in this research and there is, to my
awareness, no literature about it relating to loneliness. It may be common sense to think
that someone that is well-integrated into the community and has a routine that involves
going to certain shops or cafés frequently may have gained social contacts which help to
buffer against potential loneliness. Important here, however, is to highlight the
sociological dimensions. Interestingly enough, this coping behaviour differs from others,
such as the previous one in the way that social connection may be achieved as well but the
main aim is to render out loneliness from one’s life before it occurs or a er it occurred
 239

pro-actively. Overall, the intersection of loneliness and personal maintenance and

functionality is interesting, as there are some people whose behaviour does not seem to
differ at all when lonely compared to when not lonely. That, however, does not mean that
there are no different intentions, as one can do one and the same thing hoping for
different outcomes. Pro-active behaviour includes the themes maintenance, pro-action,
belief and routine and belonging as its main themes - routine and belonging occur equally
o en and are both the main themes. To illustrate what this coping behaviour is about,
here are two quotes from respondents. First, one from Milan: “You are in the city centre, you
walk there in 15 minutes so there is a library which I love. I go there and it's really like a small
neighbourhood so I started knowing the shops and always going to the same places and I really love
that because that makes me feel less lonely. I mean when I go to Pasticcheria Venezia and I know
the faces and I go there mostly on Sundays ... It's like a ritual, you know. It makes me feel like I
belong and that's why I never wanted to leave again so I've been living in the neighbourhood since
588
then.”

Further, the main themes routine and belonging can play out (or come together) in two
different ways: First, having such a routine that creates a sense of home and belonging. Or
secondly, actively looking for spaces where one feels at home and feels a sense of
belonging. They differ in their frequency and intention so this respondent establishes a
routine to achieve a sense of belonging whereas other respondents try to specifically find
places where they feel they belong, almost automatically. Here is one example from
Manchester: “Well I have done in the last few months is sort of generate a well-chart for myself
about what I have to follow, so incorporated into that is certain days where I am comfortable on
my own and again certain days where I will push things off my own, so if I compare to how I was in
London where it was chaotic and what might happen on a Monday might be different the week
a er..this year, what I am trying to do is to have 2 days a week...designed for me...quiet on my own,
play my computer game, watch Netflix and the other days trying to involve other people in so I am
making a conscious effort to try and meet up with old friends...and if I do not go out...if that does
not work...my big three days: Thursday, Saturday and Sunday...I look [...] to attack those...so is
there an active friend, if you like...is there an old friend that I could meet available and if that is a
589
no, is there someone on an app, Tinder, Bumble, Hinge.”

This respondent makes a conscious effort to structure and maintain a healthy life. It
illustrates that this coping behaviour is confrontational: One acknowledges one’s

588
Interview. Milan. (June 2021)
589
Interview, Manchester, November, 2021
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loneliness and establishes a behavioural pattern that aims to help to maintain general
well-being. But this behaviour is further designed to buffer future periods of loneliness -
one learns how to cope with it but may as well create a sense of belonging to be in a better
(mental) place in the future. Having a routine is a frequent activity happening more than
once a week and it can be done with others - with a runner’s club, for example, or alone
going for walks. It may include all sorts of people in different degrees of familiarity and
plays out across all spatial dimensions, whether public or private or open or intimate and
closed. It is also a mostly safe behaviour, as it neither exclusively plays out at night nor is
it directed mostly at strangers. It further does not require travel to another distant place.
The reward is however pretty high, as the small everyday interactions can buffer
loneliness or at least create some sort of social cohesion, here explained by one
respondent from Milan. “Yeah I have a small organic grocery shop around the corner and I
...yeah I talk to the owner and he was very helpful during the lockdown because he...I called him to
order my grocery and then he le the shopping back outside the window so we had this kind of
things and yeah and then I have a favourite bar for aperitivo, held by two women that come from a
place close to Urbino but we discovered that later and they are really nice people, I can go there
590
just to have a glass of wine and a small chat with them. It is quite a recent thing.”

As for the activities people can do to establish a routine or individual maintenance - not
falling apart due to overly negative feelings are plenty, this coping behaviour is less
affected by the lockdown. Here are some other examples:

Routine: Going somewhere to study other than home (to better concentrate)
Routine: Going to run almost every day

Maintenance: Doing things one feels one has to do to keep a functional/happy life

Pro-Action: Act even before feeling lonely

Pro-Action: Equipping oneself with information about the city to have something to talk about
with people

Belonging: Adding more belonging to a space by unravelling its history

Belonging: Feeling better in green spaces

Belief: Trusting in something higher than herself (like a spiritual being)

590
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
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It is an own characteristic of this coping behaviour, perhaps even more so than of others,
that the different themes are tightly overlapping. One can establish a routine, which helps
to maintain one’s minimal functioning in everyday life and finally achieve a sense of
belonging doing so. Spiritual or religious belief may help to do that. However, it is worth
keeping in mind that not everyone does it like this, as some people may simply decide to
keep a routine without necessarily also attempting another coping behaviour or even
outcome by doing so.

Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

The routinised practice in both cities is of a slightly different kind. Going to browse
smaller shops on a Sunday and talking to the owners is more present in Milan but doing
sports of different kinds more in Manchester. Generally speaking, I could not identify
major other differences between the two cities. Probably, the major reason for that is that
this coping behaviour is rare. Different is the scale of belonging, that for respondents from
Manchester seem to be connected to the whole city (or a bigger portion of it) and Milan
respondents more to be part of a certain neighbourhood: in fact, in some cases, by
knowing what people one does not want to belong to. Here is an example from both places,
starting with Manchester: “Yeah I think so. And I come from south manchester and I lived there
all my life and south manchester has a lot more tree-lined streets, more greenery, a lot more...I lived
591
for 20 years with my mum in a house with a large garden.”

Two examples from Milan, starting with a statement about the Porta Venezia
neighbourhood: “Here I feel like it's my place. Whenever I ask people if they want to go out,
When of course places are open I always try to organise things in this neighbourhood. So bars,
592
restaurants or Giardini [...].”

A similar statement can also be found about the NoLo neighbourhood: “And yeah now and
then with friends I already had, because I started to say to people coming in NoLo, I am an
593
advertiser and they liked it so, that also happens but not new friends.”

591
Interview. (Manchester. (December 2021)
592
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
593
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 242

It could be said that living in a certain neighbourhood is part of people’s identity in Milan,
whereas the neighbourhood level is less relevant than the space-based or whole-city level
in Manchester. However, one snippet of a conversation with a respondent in Manchester
is highly interesting and I want to share it here:

“My question: How would you feel if you were standing or sitting somewhere outside and someone
comes up to you and says I feel very lonely, what should I do...what would you suggest to that
person?

I do not know...I think well, you know if I am in Manchester, I would be like….I would say
well...have you done much research on the city? Want to see some interesting things in the city?
Why not take what is around first of all and then take it from there? Enjoy some time to yourself,
get yourself in a better place to then have some stories to tell to people if you get the chance
later...go to St. Peter's square and really about Peter...go to Old Trafford and learn about
Manchester United and then you get yourself a conversation starter...you have to arm yourself with
experience to then take that to people...to offer something to people.

My question: Is this something you are doing as well? Like tomorrow I go to a church in Chorlton?

For sure...not a lot le for me to learn about Manchester but wherever I go somewhere else...when I
went to Vilnius in Lithuania, I made sure I learned about Vilnius and when I went out that night, I
was talking to people and was like ‘Oh, yeah I read this this this and this and that started a
594
dialogue and they stayed out with us all day and that was...that is what I feel I earn.”

Using the city as such a resource that could be used to gather the information that would
further down the way buffer against loneliness is fascinating to me, however rarely done
with that purpose. Obviously, such coping behaviour combines perhaps more than one at
the same time, therefore acting proactively and using spaces actively to have new
experiences. Further, the purpose is to establish better and more fruitful social
interactions. Whereas such coping behaviour may combine different ones, establishing
different ones allows me to describe the different intentions as different layers. The
question is therefore firstly not how a person achieves something but what is actually the
aim. In this example of the respondent, it is about two aims: Firstly, there is an interest in
getting to know the city and secondly, the knowledge is planned to be later used in social
connections to have something to talk about. It is therefore a pro-active behaviour -

594
Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
 243

getting ready and equipped for the later action. This respondent however has revealed his
intentions by doing so to me, thus I am able to speak about it. If this respondent would
have said I like to wander the city when I feel happy to be full of experiences when I feel lonely, it
would have been a similar thing but without a second intention, thus the essence is to
armour himself for social interactions or loneliness to come, it could have been part of the
coping behaviour US or CI.
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Figure 36: Changing one’s mindspace (CM)

Changing one’s mind space includes the themes of projection, imagination, intensification
and nostalgia. Again, this is a coping behaviour hardly identified in the previous literature.
It is more on the confrontational side, as people are engaging with their thoughts,
whether directly or indirectly. But it is also avoidant as in the themes of projection or
imagination, people reflect themselves away from their thoughts and onto others so that
they see themselves in other people or imagine their own life to be different in some way
or other. People do this alone but there are also others involved, from strangers in the
metro to one’s family member in one’s home village. However, the contact with these
 245

others may be different, as people are not necessarily sharing with others but changing
the way they think about these others (and themselves). Strangers and acquaintances are
more involved directly, friends and family members indirectly - for example through
reflective mental images of a good time they had with them in the past. This activity is
o entimes (mentally) exhaustive and not necessarily a weekly activity, albeit the
consequences of changing the way one thinks about another person may be daily
consequences. Spatial openness or intimacy is not defined but most private spaces are not
used for that. Safety can be a concern when one loses oneself too much in one’s thoughts,
so for example in traffic. Rewards vary as the behaviour may be first and foremost a
mental attempt to change the way one thinks. Lockdown can have an influence but since
this is a mainly mental behaviour, lockdown is mainly irrelevant to the degree that it does
not preoccupy one’s mind. It may be so that a strict lockdown enforces a condition within
that even mental imagination becomes difficult due to a generally low level of energy. For
this coping behaviour, it may be especially important to display some examples of the
themes:

Projection: Treating other people as nice as one wants to be treated

Projection: Sitting on a bench and imagining other's loneliness

Imagination: Imagining living somewhere with a better sense of community

Intensification: Going to places (e.g. street next to railway) that fits one's mood

Nostalgia: Walking in spaces that remind of other (positive) spaces

Nostalgia: Moving back to a happy place once in a while
Nostalgia: Looking for a similar type of community like in one's hometown

Projection is the only other-directed theme of this coping behaviour, however when
directed at others - I imagine another person is as sad as I am based on how that person appears
to me - it may describe more the desire to be able to understand oneself’s emotions.
Nostalgia is the main theme and describes the wish to reset to a happier time in the past.
Whatever triggers these moments of Nostalgia is highly connected to the subjective
narrative of a person. Intensification on the other hand is a highly interesting approach:
One (mentally) makes one’s situation worse as this respondent from Milan states: “Yes, I
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595
am not that person that tries to cheer himself up. I am drowning, yes let’s drown in sorrow.”
Another respondent from Manchester describes a similar approach of first making one’s
sorrows bigger and then being able to counteract them: “Yeah in a way, you can feed it but I
sometimes find that personally, if I got a built up of emotions and I express it all in one big best, it
is done. I have had people say to me that that is not always the best idea, just ripping the bandage
596
off is not going to make you feel better but for me, it is like unzipping my chest and just ‘brrr’.”

One respondent from Milan expressed something very interesting to me about this coping
behaviour, namely to reconceptualize loneliness and find joy in it - not in terms of solitude
but in terms of it being a unique characteristic to this person: “My difference is that I feel
because I have always felt lonely in some way and part of my life because I was thinking the same
of other people, I was not feeling the same of other people I struggled to mingle a bit really deeply
but sometimes, you know, was not a problem. I was proud of it sometimes because I felt like it was
597
my little...my thing.”

Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

Changing one’s mindspace is a coping behaviour more dominant in the Milan sample. This
reflects on the general tendency of Manchester respondents to be more action- and
practice-oriented when it comes to tackling one’s loneliness as opposed to the Milanese
sample, who is more pondering and thoughtful, generally speaking. This may have to do
with the fact that in Milan, people move there from smaller towns, so there is a different
type of spatial connection in the Milanese sample to their place of origin, whereas in
Manchester, this did not seem to be the case. Only people that lived in Manchester for
some years but were not originally from the United Kingdom, so for example Greece or
New Zealand had such spatial connection exercised by looking for nostalgic moments. On
another hand, my interviews with the Milan respondents happened during the lockdown,
although to different degrees being a strict shutdown, so this may have triggered a more
thoughtful response. In Manchester, there was no lockdown anymore when I conducted
my interviews.

Imagining other people’s lives or intensifying one’s own loneliness through writing sad
songs, for example, is more present in the Milanese sample. Only a few Manchester
respondents would do such a thing and usually, they were already experiencing loneliness

595
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
596
Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
597
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 247

for a prolonged period of time, meaning years. Here are two examples from the theme of
intensification. Note how a certain environment is needed in both cases to trigger that
intensification. One could also argue for the self-destructiveness of such an approach,
however, respondents try to come to terms with their feelings, seeing them also reflected
in their choice of surroundings - there is therefore room to believe that depending on
where one sees another person, one can tell the mood of that person. First one from
Milan: “I found this strategy to cope with anxiety by changing space. So I do not have anywhere
else to go then out and I start walking with music, with music in my ear and then I just walk and I
don't know, I have this strong bond with the urban spaces, that's just it. I really love to go to all
sorts of places. I mean my favourite spot probably is near the railways, so I go and follow that part
598
of...because it is more isolated.”

Here is an example from a respondent from Manchester: “No, I find my tranquillity...walking

is something that helps me clear my mind but weirdly enough I quite like urban walks...I still get
the same what I understand people say when they get a walk to clear their head...I use kind of like
A-roads and motorway bridges to achieve that...I do find some kind of relaxation in that, just the
599
background noise of cars...just the street lamps.”

598
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
599
Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
 248

Figure 37: Refuge, Hide & Avoid (RHA)

This last identified coping behaviour includes the themes refuge, avoidance and hide and is
mainly a reclusive approach to overwhelming emotional arousal caused by the experience
of loneliness. People applying this behaviour, whether knowingly or unknowingly, tend to
take refuge at home, hide when outside in a park, for example, or simply avoid being
confronted with anything overall that has to do with their experience of loneliness. In that
sense, it is essential as it could be said that coping with loneliness has avoidant and
confrontational steps that are equally important in a coping narrative. This behaviour is
o en done alone, usually, people would not ask their friends to hide together or take refuge
together, as this may make it more complicated essentially, in this period people want
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nothing to do with their loneliness or the social relationships that participated in causing
it. It does include friends and family, for example when being asked: Where were you last
night? Why did you not come? There may therefore be a bit of shame involved in one’s
incapacity to cope more successfully (or openly) - one may feel like failing to cope healthily
ignoring the fact that such an approach of avoiding and hiding can be similarly necessary.
The frequency of this behaviour depends mainly on the intensity of the experience. It is a
spatially intimate setting that is sought here - smaller spaces in the city or one’s home.
Lockdown has no influence on the success of that coping behaviour as this is exactly what
people did during lockdown or had to do. There is somewhat of a risk involved in taking
oneself back for a while as can be seen with Hikkikomoris that may over time unlearn social
skills. I also want to add a quote from a respondent from Milan, more related to the
lockdown as such than to loneliness, but it illustrates the situation: “Yes... yes... but in fact
the first day when they were like 'You can start to go out and things like this I go out for just do a
walk and there was so many people that had the same idea than me, that I had a panic attack,
because there was too many people and I did not see people during three months moving, jogging
and running and I was like 'Oh my god' and I had to sit on a bench and breath because I was so
bad. I turned back super fast and had to take the habit again to get out. A er you start you don't
600
even want to see people, so you have this habit and don't want to see people.”

Avoiding something is different from escaping something: One may avoid a certain space on
a daily basis but may not escape to a completely other space. Essentially, in this coping
behaviour, people almost stop to live their daily lives - there o en seems to be neither the
energy to change something nor the energy to at least bring oneself in a more pleasant
environment. On another note, escapism may be more of a general statement, whereas
avoidance is very goal-directed. Here are some examples:

Refuge: To not face other people's judgement

Refuge: To process feelings at home first

Avoidance: Don't talk to certain (toxic) people (e.g. in Facebook-Groups)

Avoidance: Do not go to place where certain fake people are
Avoidance: Do not go where there are crowds or many people

Hide: To listen to music to be less aware of her footsteps

600
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
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Similarities and Differences of respondents from Milan and Manchester

Hiding, avoiding and taking refuge is more common amongst Manchester respondents:
People would actively avoid being home, using social media or simply places that cause
any painful memory. It is to be said that this is itself a painful coping behaviour, so when
people have the feeling they cannot be home or cannot go to a certain place, avoiding that
place is not necessarily easy and shrinks the map of the respondent o en massively. Hence
some respondents may choose to further escape the situation overall to a place with more
possibilities. I hope it can be seen here, how the different coping behaviours intersect and
how they can be used to construct a sort of coping narrative: One may avoid something
(like a certain space with certain people) and over time take refuge at home. In an attempt
to regain control (over one’s life), one may start to escape the situation overall for a weekend
in the hope of more social connection or solitude, such as when discovering a new place to
take one’s mind off.

Milanese respondents would not necessarily avoid certain situations, but they know that it
can be difficult to be in them. A good example is the visit to the place of an emotional
break-up, which some people seem to be avoiding but at the same time somewhat drawn to
them as places for hope and texting the ex-partner when being there. Some of these
behaviours are pro-active as well, so as an example not using social media or listening to
music, so being less self-aware when in public space is a buffer against feelings of
exclusion and perhaps loneliness in the long run: One can avoid a situation (or tension of a
situation) without necessarily being spatially excluded. Overall, it is safe to say that when
people in Manchester avoid spaces or people, they do it strictly by taking up responsibility
for their lives. One respondent, for example, would avoid going out almost at all times,
601
having conceptualised the outside world as a dangerous place for himself. I hope to have
explained the coping behaviours in an understandable manner by giving various examples.
As I invited the reader earlier to understand loneliness itself as a transient and dynamic
experience, coping behaviour may be understood the same way. Nevertheless, they
illustrate not only the complexity of loneliness but similarly the difficulty in addressing
loneliness successfully. However, by having established such a toolbox of coping
behaviour and socio-spatial implications, one can construct the individual narratives of
loneliness in a manner that is thorough and close-to-the-subjective-experience.

601
Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
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Current Coping Behaviour and Contributions

New Coping Behaviours and Common Coping Connections

Pro-Active Behaviour and learned loneliness (PA)

Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US)

These two coping behaviours, as stated earlier, are either not represented in the existing
literature or the existing coping behaviours have not been defined wide and broad enough
so to integrate them. Ultimately, it is difficult to determine exactly to what degree my
identified coping behaviours are already present in what Perlman and Peplau or Rokach
wrote: That is because depending on the interpretation, I could either fit all my
behaviours into the literature or find strong differences, hence why I explain mine in more
detail.

However, the first one, namely PA, describes that people adapt to loneliness and learn how
to deal with it. The second is the importance of the socio-spatial environment when it
comes to loneliness and determining its prevalence. In that sense, both newly identified
coping behaviours reflect a more contemporary understanding of loneliness. In a keynote
speech at an online conference about loneliness, Pamela Qualter pointed out the evidence
gaps currently existing in loneliness research. These points have been mentioned:
Lifecourse, Measurement, Social Stigma and Discrimination, Culture, Mental Health, Place and
602
Context, The Workplace, Economic Case, Interventions. Over the course of this thesis, I
have discussed various of these problems and themes. Noteworthy is however how the
coping behaviour of US will benefit the evidence gaps around Place and Context and how
PA will benefit the evidence gaps around Interventions - that is because applying pro-active
coping may teach healthy ways to buffer against loneliness. Here an example from a
respondent from Milan that addressed the core of this behaviour (PA): “Eh, I have to say
that in general, I have learned to act even before feeling lonely, I mean that I am have become a
proactive person, so I did courses, I met people in ...even here during theatre with some
associations in the nearby so I have many things to allow me to catch this fear for being for being

602
Pamela Qualter. “Evidence Gaps in What we Know about Loneliness.” Key Note at Campaign to End Loneliness
Conference. (November 2021). (accessed: 23.05.2022). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-3shTdl2bg
 252

lonely, for sure they are also my interests but this allows me being active on different fields and
603
don't think about loneliness and to don't feel fear about loneliness.”

The next newly identified coping behaviour a er PA is US. More than this being a new
distinctive feature in the coping behaviour with loneliness, it reflects on the importance of
604
spaces in social science since the spatial turn. It is a relatively novel realisation that
spaces, first of all, matter in the experience of loneliness and that secondly, they are clearly
utilised and used in a myriad of ways during such an emotional experience. Here are some
examples from one Milanese respondent: “I think it is very hard to meet people, I think it is
really easy to find a crowd but it is hard to meet people, to have a conversation. Loneliness for me
is not to be alone in the space, it is talking with someone and cannot connected, this is a kind of
loneliness too. [...] When I am lonely I like to concentrate more on empty space, definitely, I really
like the concept of empty in photography, because is empty that contains the action, the full, so for
me empty space is really something...it is a very deep meaning for me, empty space, because is
where everything starts and is like the space that kind of space of transition, space of action and I
like empty space to contemplate this, so like something can happen… that goes back to the concept
605
of the city.”

The second important aspect that has not yet been studied with the aim of developing a
typology is how the different coping behaviours relate to one another. Scanning through
the literature, there is an increasing need to establish coping profiles, such as I have done
with the so-called individual-social profiles. Part of these profiles is to learn how different
coping behaviours are combined. Lemaire and Wallace state that coping behaviour can be
of a different nature: “The coping strategies reported by the participants are consistent
with categories previously described in the general literature, including problem-focused
coping which facilitates completion of work tasks (e.g. make a plan of action),
emotional-focused coping that assists in managing the emotional reaction to stressors (e.g.
use [humour] to lighten the situation), and potentially maladaptive coping responses (e.g.
606
ignore or deny stress).” There may therefore be ground to believe that my identified
coping behaviours are of similar natures and thus, have to be combined to allow for a
wholesome approach to dealing with loneliness.

603
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
604
See for example: https://spatial.scholarslab.org/spatial-turn/what-is-the-spatial-turn/
605
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
606
Jane Lemaire and Jean Wallace. “Not all coping strategies are created equal: a mixed methods study exploring
physicians’ self reported coping strategies”. BMC Health Services Research. Vol. 10. No. 208, (2010): 8
 253

Following the new coping behaviours that I worked through, there are three questions to
look at: Which are the most dominant behaviours? Which are common behaviours that do not
tend to be dominant? And which behaviours are usually combined? Especially from the latter
inquiry, namely to investigate the combination, it will be interesting to see whether more
emotional-focused behaviours are combined with more structured and strategic ones. It is
to be kept in mind that all behaviours have individual, social and spatial connections -
there are further political and economical considerations: Can this person afford to do what
this person wants to do? Is it socially appropriate or legally allowed? - but these are not my
focus questions. Note again, how problem-focused, emotion-focused and maladaptive
differ: Problem-focused seeks to overcome loneliness; emotion-focused seeks to overcome
the difficulties or pain of loneliness, maladaptive seeks to find a break in coping with
607
loneliness. I will not claim a general truth to the categories, but it may be helpful to
think through the individual coping profiles. Looking at my coping typology, the
categories could be assigned to them:

Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US):
Emotion-focused
Changing one's mindspace (CM): Emotion-focused

Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC): Problem-Focused

Connecting and interacting with other people (CI): Problem-focused
Pro-Active Behaviour and learned loneliness (PA): Problem-focused

Environmental changes and chances (EC): Maladaptive

Retreat, Hide & Avoid (RAA): Maladaptive

By far the most dominant behaviours are Connecting and interacting with other people (CI)
and Enjoying your own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC), two problem-focused
activities. In other words: Doing activities alone that make one happy or doing activities
with others that make one happy are the most common approaches. Not only are they the
most common approaches but they are also the most common connection that is used by
nearly one-third of all respondents. Thus, there is a certain duality in one’s everyday
narrative - time spent alone vs. time spent with others. Managing both may be a thin line for
some respondents. This duality is already reflected in the intro when I introduced some

607
Ibid.
 254

statistics valuable to understand loneliness. The question becomes, how does this duality
differ from being not lonely to being lonely? Here again, phenomenology helps by using the
idea of intentionality: When feeling lonely, time spent alone or with others is intentionally
directed at feeling less lonely, whereas otherwise, people may choose to do these activities
because they make them happy or because they are natural to their behaviour, in other
words: Activities may become more conscious when lonely. Nevertheless, both of these
themes are quite alike but note how simply the spatial environment changes whereas
activities are of a similar kind. To illustrate this better, here are some ways how people
attempt to achieve social connection and solitude:

Figure 38: Similarities of Solitude and Social Connection

Noteworthy is, how to some degree all attempts for social connection have a solitariness to
them and how all attempts to find solitude have a degree of social connection to them as
well. Further interesting is how the activities can be the same, only sometimes done alone
and sometimes with others. However, for both, a sense of urgency and a sense of
desperation can be involved: Lonely behaviour stops being organic behaviour but becomes
planned. But since it is planned, more open addressing of loneliness could take this
planning away, meaning if people knew where to go or what exactly to do, without fearing
social stigma, had a safe space to encounter others and to achieve their desired level of
social connection or solitude, coping with loneliness could be significantly easier. But since
it is subjective, such space cannot be very well defined but should combine data from all
respondents, as the next chapter dealing with Ideal Spaces will show. Similarly, activities
done alone are o en done with less pleasure and sometimes proxy or placeholder
activities (...when a person actually wants to do something else but none of the friends was
 255

available, for example). It, therefore, seems that social connection is the dominant theme of
all I have identified, but it is also the most difficult to achieve and there is no
one-fix-fits-all approach.

The next most common behaviours are Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new
experiences and perspectives (US) and Environmental changes and chances (EC) - thus an
emotion-focused and one maladaptive behaviour. The most dominant themes are discovery
and escapism. Discovering new spaces for new experiences, in the neighbourhood, as
meeting points with a social network and simply getting to know the socio-spatial
surroundings around oneself is a good buffer. But for the same reason, it can also be
problematic: Having too much bonding social capital in one space may cause loneliness,
either when individual developments diverge from the group or when this strong
connection has to be le , for example when studies are over. Here is an example from a
respondent from Milan. “[...] so it was in Italian….because you are learning your mother tongue,
so a very sheltered environment...I never had to move school, I never had to make new friends, I
never had to put myself in a situation where I did now know anyone because it was a very
comfortable social nest. [...] Yeah, it was a safe environment, so when you are 18 and you move for
the first time, it was a very confronting experience, so now that I look back, I think I handled it
pretty well. I was in student accommodation, a big building with small apartments and all
students, first years...so in that sense I think I moved from one stable place to the other because it
was full of people in the same situation as I was but yeah, I had to put myself out there and make
608
friends...so how do you do that? When you are 18, you know?”

Here, escaping might be a helpful approach. Escapism is a last resort in a given situation: It
is the attempt to either change physically or mentally the socio-spatial environment.
Sometimes physical may lead to mental. This is o en a very simple task for most people
when feelings get overwhelming and thus it is one of the easier approaches. However, it
makes it worse as respondents are aware of the running-away-from-the-problem nature of
the approach and over time may develop frustration or shame about it - I wish I could have
done it differently without leaving but I will try again tomorrow. One of my respondents from
Milan explains: “Yes and even when I was alone, I wouldn't let myself feel alone. I started to
watch TV. I have never watched TV before. I started to watch episode a er episode and I felt that
the characters in the TV show are my friends. [...] I think it was just me trying to escape my mind,
you know? And for me staying alone in the quiet because then I need to deal with myself. And I

608
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
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think this is actually why people are so scared to be alone. It is to deal with yourself. This is what is
609
so threatening.”

Unsurprisingly, it is US and EC that are most o en combined with CI and EOC, in other
words: Discovering something new or getting distracted, once in a while escaping
completely, yet still seeking solitude or social connection is the most common coping profile
across all respondents, in Milan as well as Manchester. This means, that beyond spending
time alone and trying not to be lonely as well as spending time with others trying to be not
lonely is the desire to encounter new spatial scenarios and gain new experiences.
Understanding that is key to this research, as I have hypothesised that a part of a person’s
life when feeling lonely has to change. This is exactly the change, namely to put oneself in
new contexts and scenarios. A er that, the most common connection of CI and EOC is
with EC, so Environmental changes and chances, meaning change of place, escapism,
quick-relief. This allows for a new hypothesis: People cope mostly by looking for moments
of being happy on their own or by looking for social connections with others. These two
attempts are highly diverse and subjective. In the process of coping, people o en seek a
form of escapism, additionally to or in line with seeking completely new experiences. Both
are regulating their time with others or time alone but adding new input and a quick-relief
when necessary. Loneliness is thus the search for the socio-spatial environment that suits
oneself. Eventually, these coping behaviours can become the daily narrative, so that, for
example, one that found a pleasant park or café in the city on an exploration on one’s own
may also invite friends to come along. A different narrative is established by layering these
social and spatial experiences with emotions resulting from such visits or social
interactions - appropriation of social space.

Next up, which are common behaviours that do not tend to be dominant? - meaning not the
first choice of people but still very much present throughout the samples from both cities.
There are two behaviours worth mentioning: Changing one's mindspace (CM) and Refuge,
Hide & Avoid (RHA) - again, one emotion-focused and one maladaptive behaviour. The
dominant themes for these behaviours are nostalgia and avoidance. It is worth stating that
RAA is much more common in the Manchester sample - thus people take refuge and avoid
things more o en - whereas CM is much more common in the Milan sample - people
seem to believe more strongly that a changed mindset can be helpful whereas perhaps
people in the Manchester sample are more practically oriented. RAA in the Milan sample
is almost always the last coping behaviour people make use of. This may have to do with

609
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
 257

the idea that hiding from threats or avoiding situations doubles the pain of loneliness for
most people: Not only do I not go there, I also am therefore forced to stay at home, where I will
not get to know anyone or anything new. Thus, rather than staying at home, discovering new
spaces or finding new pleasures in known spaces seems to be more desired. Nostalgia,
here, is the attempt to reconnect mentally, sometimes this leads to a physical going back,
connecting to a previous time in one’s life when, in the retrospective, one felt happier or
less lonely. Both coping behaviours and themes are secondary or tertiary attempts to cope.
By going ‘back in time’, avoiding certain circumstances or escaping completely for a while,
one cannot find a final solution to loneliness as the experience itself is not addressed, but
simply transferred from being the main narrative to being a background story. However,
important to make a change in one’s life is to be able to take a break and put oneself in a
socially secure, non-threatening environment and if that means avoiding certain situations,
it will be done.

I would like to point out that in practice and developing projects with loneliness in mind,
the order of the connections between the coping behaviours may be relevant, so that if the
first response is to seek social connection, that differs from the first response being seeking
solitude - overall: Problem-focused coping behaviours are more dominant than
emotion-focused or maladaptive behaviours leading to the conclusion that there is certain
reasoning and logic applied and loneliness is not per sé an ‘emotional tunnel’. However, on
another note, one could also argue that the order is less relevant, that is, because the order
itself may be temporary and varying, so in whatever stage I encountered the respondents,
this stage of loneliness determined the order. As I encountered respondents at different
stages and in different phases, for example, their feeling of loneliness but also of the
Covid-19 pandemic, I will pay less attention to it and rather develop profiles based on
what is connected generally. There is little to no known about the order of coping
behaviours and specifically engaging with this matter may involve different research or
interview questions from the start.

If I, for once, bring this idea of different goal orientation (emotion-focused,

problem-focused, maladaptive) back, a new pattern emerges. EOC and CI are both
problem-focused so one could say they are constructive approaches. It makes them
constructive because they are essentially engaging with the nature of loneliness that
evolves and revolves around alone time and social connection. Interestingly to note is that
PA, also a problem-focused behaviour, has been identified only five times, however when
identified, it was quite dominant. This may count for the people who are either
 258

‘experienced’ loners or very sensitive to the experience that they do practically everything
to not be lonely again - which sometimes can mean making the wrong decisions. A er
this constructive coping, a maladaptive approach, EC, and an emotion-focused such as
CM or US are most common. In over half of the samples, one maladaptive approach exists,
meaning that every second person experiencing loneliness needs a break and a change
610
from it once in a while. This may display the partly painfulness of the experience.
Interesting is also how two emotion-focused approaches are practically never combined,
but always with a problem-focused one and a maladaptive one. This goes to show the
complexity of the coping behaviour, within that an individual knits a net of different
approaches that help in different ways and similarly, the potential overload of emotions if
the coping behaviours are - like the experience itself - emotion-oriented. On that note,
there is no one except one person who does not have a problem-focused approach, leading
me to believe that despite the complexity of the experience, it is the experience itself that
steers the coping behaviour - one will not fail to watch out for what one needs, at least not
over time. In other words: One cannot escape one’s need in rational and problem-oriented
terms.

Coping Behaviours across Research

One essential question in research is what new research adds to the

state-of-the-art. With the table below and this chapter in general, I attempt to respond to
this question relating to previous research, pointing out the new potential gap and
reflecting on the research gaps identified earlier here.

610
In this context, maladaptive indicates to not face the core of the experience.
259
 260

Figure 39: What is known about the coping behaviours in this research across the literature

Research Gaps Response

Understanding that young adults cope differently with loneliness than older adults
To be more clear, here I would like to add a few sentences about how exactly this thesis
has responded to some of the research gaps that I identified, in the beginning, consulting
the research and literature on loneliness. Firstly, the thesis builds on the hypothesis that
young adults cope differently with loneliness than older adults, because young adults o en
(but not always) have existing social connections. Further, young adults are o en going
through stages in their life that older adults have o en already gone through, such as
moving frequently to different geographical areas. All of this is not to say that there are no
overlaps between these two generations. In fact, long-term studies may explore how young
adults' loneliness may prepare a person for similar emotions to reoccur during an older
age. Similarly, comparative approaches between loneliness across the young and old are
needed, to understand loneliness better from a qualitative point of view across the life
span. Key coping behaviours to investigate are social connections, the internet as a
platform for more and different social connection and various activities such as travelling
or walking, which this thesis has proved to be essential for young adults, however, are
more difficult for older adults to carry out.

Conceptualisation of loneliness as a social phenomena with individual variables

I have understood loneliness within the individual realm, the social realm and the spatial
realm. These are not mutually exclusive categories and in most study cases it has been
 261

individuals feeling lonely because of a certain interpretation of the social environment

around them. How the different realms intersect is framed into the coping behaviours,
which can be understood as the act of an individual within social and spatial realms. Here,
this thesis can be critiqued as being individual-centric and one may ask what effects on
the broader social realm (or social capital) it has when many individuals of a given society
feel lonely. Colin Kileen, for example, finds clear words in that regard: “Even if action was
taken to reduce loneliness, it might not work, because the only way to make people less
lonely is to make society more caring, and this will take more than just a few token
government interventions. In today's self-obsessed climate, I am not sure that loneliness
will ever go away; it is an unfortunate side-effect. At the end of the day, loneliness will
always be with us; it just depends on what degree. Loneliness does not have a solution. It
is not a puzzle that can be completed. It can be alleviated and made less painful, but it
611
cannot be solved.” Whereas I tend to agree with the opinion that there will always be
loneliness, what can change is the intensity and understanding of it. Knowing what to say
to a lonely friend, what to do, what other people do and to allow oneself to feel so and to
be vocal about it may ultimately not help an individual but it may increase social
awareness and decrease anxiety and fear to feel that way amongst others. In that sense,
this thesis has shown the role of others (friends, acquaintances, strangers) as well as of
institutions such as school or work in the role of loneliness. A lonely individual demands a
social support network, such as psychologists at schools and universities can provide.

To take into account the spatial environment as one variable when coping with loneliness
This thesis has concentrated vastly on the spatial environment. I have attempted to not
fall into either of these two traps: Only regarding the spatial environment as a background
for social interactions as some sociological works do, but also don’t hold the belief that
the spatial environment can, by design, render our loneliness. I, therefore, hope that the
reader will find the functions and purposes of different paces for loneliness, which range
from the pure architecture up to the more social atmosphere (or genius loci) that can be
and is produced in them.

See loneliness not as a risk to physical health but as a mental health challenge with positive
outcome and periods
That said, the last research gap is less of a gap per sé than more of an understanding of
loneliness as a mental health challenge with the possibility of a more positive outcome;
And relating to the previous paragraph, it may perhaps be so that if more and more people

611
Colin Killeen. “Loneliness: an epidemic in modern society.” Journal of Advanced Nursing Vol. 28 No. 4. (1998): 769
 262

feel lonely, go through this experience and change towards more care of others and focus
on themselves (and o entimes also on others), it may be the experience of loneliness that
has a major social impact on society as a whole - rather than becoming a lonely society, it
may become a society of trust and care with a high acceptance of loneliness and
potentially other emotional experiences such as shame.

Coping in a Socio-Spatial Framework: Learnings about Social Capital and (Place) Attachment

Now it is relevant to frame this understanding of coping behaviour within the

frameworks of social capital and place attachment. As stated earlier, in my socio-spatial
framework I utilise social capital and place attachment to think through the social and the
spatial, at least borrowing some terms and ideas from researchers from these particular
fields. Having learned about my identified coping behaviours, I hope to explain them in
more precise detail by looking at changes and perhaps new understandings of the
combined theories.

Spatial Dimension
I have stressed in the previous papers of this thesis ways to look at loneliness from a social
capital perspective. This perspective allows one to analyse a person’s social life more
closely, especially the types of social relations lonely people may have or may be missing
out on. However, my findings display that the spatial dimension can be much more
detailed and even explanatory for the coping behaviours specifically and experience
generally. In the following two examples of that: Person A is going to space A, because in
that space a certain type of people are expected, that person A knows will make her/him
feel better or will understand person A’s problems. Another example includes person A
not going to space A because of the same reason, namely that certain people could be
there and person A attempts to actively avoid that. Included in the second example is thus
a shrinkage of one’s personal city map. It can be summarised that the type of people that is
to be found in any given space resonates with the space in a variety of ways and similarly
resonates with the person thinking about going/not going to the space and the consequent
activities. In short: Spaces reflect characteristics of a person and are as such o en
extensions of one’s home, reflecting one’s lifestyle and reflecting on one’s actual or
potential social and emotional life. As no surprise, it is here that social capital meets the
concept of place attachment. An attachment to a place is formed on the basis of a quite
complex process, but essentially wants and needs have to be met by what is to be found
there at any given time of the day or year. The type of social capital thus influences the
 263

type of place attachment. This can be understood within the coping behaviours of
Connecting and interacting with other people (CI), Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new
experiences and perspectives (US) and Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone
(EOC), where people choose a certain space for its qualities to be le alone, to connect
socially or to discover and add new experiences.

Beyond that, I would further suggest freeing the idea of place attachment from
semi-public spaces (like cafés) up to many different places, as the next example shall
illustrate: “But while waiting at the bus stop, riding the subway, standing in line at the bakery, or
walking our dogs, there is always a potential social environment that may turn into an effective
one: we may exchange words, engage in a conversation, find commonalities and cease to be just
612
strangers in the public.” As this quote from Blokland shows, a more detailed analysis of
spaces is not per sé missing, but o en used as the background of social interactions,
whereas one may ask from the beginning, why people go to certain spaces and hope to
produce certain interactions - in other terms: Do people make connections at all bus stops or
just at some more pleasantly designed ones? Does design matter at all? Do people talk less with
one another in a dirty street compared to a tree-patched friendly neighbourhood street with
benches? On that line, a quote from one of my respondents from Milan: “I am at the
bus[stop], I am waiting [for] a bus and they just say something and we start talking [...], because
usually they are very old, older than me, maybe 65 [...], very old but we just talk and it is good, it is
very beautiful because now I know that Mrs. Giovanna has a daughter that studies medicine
613
[...].” It cannot be stressed enough that in-between home and the place one wants to
reach, an infinite amount of other spaces, sights and situations occur, all of which
participate in the production of social capital and place attachment generally - spaces
even hard-to-categorise in the formerly discussed third-places and fourth-places
categories, mainly because their atmospheres may exceed beyond any physical boundary,
which is why I discussed and consider loneliness as an atmosphere in itself that intersects
with the atmospheres of a given envronment at any given time.

Social Possibilities
Another extension of social capital theory is that of social possibilities or opportunities.
On these lines, one may say that a person that feels lonely is missing people to get ahead or
people to get by, however o en it seems that people feel lonely because of missing social

612
Talja Blokland. “The Public Life of Social Capital”. (2017), Chapter 30 in Suzanne Hall and Ricky Burdett. “ The SAGE
Handbook of the 21st Century City”. (New York, SAGE Publications, 2017): 558
613
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
 264

possibilities. Beyond categorising these possibilities into actual and potential (social)
resources, the existence of such possibilities is in itself valuable and important. An
example of that could be that person A is indecisive about whether to go out and meet
friends or stay at home. Now, having the option to do both is essential, as this person may
feel in charge of her/his life. Person A would be worse off if either one of these
opportunities would not there, because either friend are not out or staying at home is not
an option, as this person may still live with a partner a er break-up. In social capital
terms, I want to add that potential resources do not always have to be activated - as it
would be the definition of potential. But beyond that, the importance of potential
resources is rooted simply in their existing and activating these resources does not
necessarily have to mean also meeting these people, but just knowing that people would
be available, knowing that one could join them and knowing that by doing so, one could
feel better - broadly speaking. Needing possibilities itself is a theme of Environmental
changes and chances (EC), where respondents revealed to me that there is some comfort or
relaxation found in the possibilities of having different paths or spaces to choose from as
one respondent from Milan states: “[A] holiday place for nature and there are very nice places
to walk around on the mountains, in the mountains and it is something so mysterious and
beautiful being completely alone in the nature and having all these different ways to walk in the
mountain sides, so I found myself there alone with all these places to discover and I had to choose
one and everything was a surprise. I did not know where I would get to and how it would be and I
614
constantly had this image of this place.” One can further imagine that by having social
possibilities, a person may feel a stronger sense of place attachment, for example to one’s
home: It may feel like a ‘prison’ if no one is available when another person is needed and
like a safe space if there are opportunities. An example, although more lockdown-related
can be found in another quote of a respondent from Milan: “I don’t know if it is good or bad
about my house but fortunately are towards the yard, not to the street so I noticed that there is no
noise from the street, but I don’t see the empty street and probably that helped me just to not
615
realise what is going on out there.” Consequently, it could be argued that by having
different social possibilities for various activities to choose from, one may simply feel
more comfortable in the space one is in, henceforth may place higher attachment to one’s
home for example. That is because the home may feel like a pleasant environment with
possibilities to leave it but may feel like a cage without such possibilities.

Being Alone

614
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
615
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
 265

In social capital terms, being alone may mean not have any actual or potential social
resources and in that sense, seems to be a state of unhappiness. Scanning through the
transcriptions of my interviews it appears, that there is the possibility that people enjoy
being alone, o en even over a prolonged period of time and sometimes even, when there
would not be potential resources, that one just does not make use of, in short: Some
people seem to be happy on their own, perhaps as an outcome of a prolonged period of
loneliness. Being alone does not mean having any interactions, but people can have
frequent interactions with shop owners or people outside, however, they stay mostly alone
and do most of the activities alone. Whether or not such people can be objectively happy
(if there is such a thing as objective happiness from a psychological point of view) may be
debatable. Additionally, even then people would (most likely) have some form of people to
get by, whether that would be work colleagues or neighbours or parents. Interesting to
note is that spending one’s days alone can be a source of happiness when learning to be
happy with less or even no social contact, so for example reflected in the coping behaviour
of Changing one's mindspace (CM), where people have different ways of managing little
social contact by adjusting their mindspace. Such people almost seem to be not apparent
members of any given community, when the community is defined by social networks-
and interactions. However, such people are almost an interruption, as they similarly would
not be people to get by or ahead of others. This interruption is what Ronald Burt could
616
have called a structural hole in a social network. Such holes can be activated and thus
connect two groups that previously were not in any way connected to one another, as the
structural hole was the missing link. This person may connect two groups as part of a
personal agenda of finding new people to talk to. This person may also decide on either
one of these networks and leave the other one disconnected (for example inviting just
one’s school friends to the birthday party and not also one’s university friends). Such o en
happens a er a breakup, as this respondent’ from Milan explains: “I was really also building
this excitement so also reengage with my friends, the friends that I had here, re-engage.... more
constantly with my family, engage with my boyfriend so I wanted to build activities and I was also
super excited to meet colleagues from work so everything was really positive, so it started getting
negative a er I suffered from the break-up and also realising I don't have any friends basically. [...]
Ah your friends, actually our friends, don't really care about me, so he was saying 'your friends
don't care about you at this time, they are focused on themselves'. So he was trying to put this in a
617
negative state and I realised that and we parted ways.”

616
Ronald Burt. “Structural Holes: The Social Structure of Competition.” (Cambridge, Harvard University Press, 1995)
617
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
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Forming place attachment when being alone (or already lonely) may be difficult, as
commonly social interactions may be the main producer of such. O entimes, the person
being alone retreats into the private sphere - where this person is in control of the space.
Interestingly, place attachment can be activated or accumulated when being alone in a
different way than being with others. Being with others, such may happen by talking to a
friend and creating memories together whereas when alone, listening to music and
observing the surroundings, like a visually pleasant facade of a building that one takes a
picture of may activate such place attachment - if anything perhaps, an inner-state of
peace, as this respondent’ from Manchester explains: “It is like these little gardens and there
is one rock in particular which I sit on...and all these trees and you feel like you are a canopy of
618
trees and nestled in by the trees.”

Strangers
General attitude towards strangers became clear in many parts of the interviews. They
ranged from people being afraid of strangers to holding the belief that once every friend was
a stranger, as the saying goes. Strangers can be sources of information, enjoyment and fear.
One may assume that strangers on the street are omnipresent and that as such, o en they
do not seem to interfere more closely with one’s life. But thinking through encounters
with strangers on a daily basis, they can be a source of all sorts of experiences: Observing
strangers from a bench in the park, looking and smiling into a stranger's faces, feeling
that other people make space for themselves on the sidewalk when walking past each
other, taking care of a stranger by not overrunning a person late at night on a small
sidewalk. Everyday life is full of non-verbal interactions with strangers, that all participate
in the experience of one’s own body, the feeling that one’s presence matters. In the
presence of strangers, one comes to realise the variety of micro-interactions ongoing in an
everyday life in public and semi-public spaces and strangers can therefore hardly be
categorised into people to get by or people to get ahead, or strong and weak ties, considering,
for example, the various examples Erving Goffmann gives when it comes to interactions
between strangers and how potentially such interactions can be meaningful, satisfying or
619
simply functional. The presence of strangers can be beneficial, both for social as well as
for place attachment. People seek environments surrounded not only by other people but
by certain other people. A respondent from Milan states: “In Milan, what I found because,
my friends...maybe there are in Milan, maybe outside, maybe Milan but the other side of the city so
every time you want to do something you cannot just improvise, you need to call and every day ‘oh

618
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
619
Erving Goffman. “Behavior In Public Places.” (New York, Free Press, 2014 [1963])
 267

today no I have tango, I have Spanish, I have this and that so it is really complicated. There it is
not, there you go to the beach bar, someone will be there, you go to the other bar in the park,
someone will be there. With one phone call, you find people or even without you know where your
friends could be and it is very easy, this is also something that I never found in Milan...a place
where you just show up and you know, you will find someone there to spend time with and in
620
Rimini, this is happening.”

Thus strangers can be extremely rich social resources, being potential listeners and
companies for a temporary time, as Simmel explains: “This is the fact that he [the
stranger] o en receives the most surprising openness - confidences which sometimes have
the character of a confessional and which would be carefully withheld from a more closely
621
related person.” Additionally, interactions with strangers seem to have a positive impact
622
on people's well-being. This does not necessarily have to be an active conversation:
Indeed, while the presence and closeness of others can be perceived as comforting, having
to talk can also be tiring, as this respondent from Manchester explains: “Quite o en I like
coming to the park for a walk because there were so many people here and although I don’t really
talk to strangers, that is another problem I have...I am really bad a talking to strangers...it makes
623
me feel like I am surrounded by people which helps a little bit.”

Strangers are a relevant topic, o entimes not only relevant for themselves but having
indicators for the society as a whole, as this Milan respondent states: “[...] maybe also the
time of my life and the age of my mates because you know, around 30, people maybe get married,
have a partner and so everybody in this city works a lot so people just hang out with colleagues and
maybe with old friends they already have and is not really the atmospheres that people are really
624
open to strangers, to new people.” But whether or not a stranger is perceived as friendly or
animus further depends very much on the place attachment one has, as another
respondent from Milan illustrates: “Also because now living in NoLo, like NoLo has, as you
probably know, good community, they really manage the neighbourhood to feel like a community
625
and when I first moved there, this was not.” The presence of such a community may foster
place attachment and in return foster social capital within this community. However, the

620
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
621
Georg Simmel. “The Stranger” in Kurt Wolff (Translated by Kurt Wolff)) “The Sociology of Georg Simmel.” (New York: Free
Press, 1950): 403
622
Nicholas Epley and Juliana Schroeder. “Mistakenly Seeking Solitude.” Journal of Experimental Psychology: General. Vol. 143.
No. 5. (2014). https://doi.org/10.1037/a0037323
623
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
624
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
625
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
 268

alignment of space and the feeling towards strangers can also go other ways, where people
create no-go-zone and non-places for themselves, as this person from Manchester states
about a small town outside of it: “I mean the town...I do not really like town centres, like ashton
town centre sif awful, horrible. If I can never go there, I would happily never go. They are
like...pretty desolate places...very concrete...I like the countryside, trees, plants, growing
things….nature...animals...you do not get that in a centre. All shops are bordered up...all like pound
shops, full of people that are obviously on drugs and it is just...not a very nice environment to be
626
in.”

Lost Social Capital and (Place) Attachment

During the pandemic, many of my respondents recovered contacts and found new
pleasure in places they have not been to before. For the first, here is an example of a
respondent from Milan: “I was constantly on the phone with people, I was constantly on video
chat. Really, I really had this feeling of more friendships, you know? And before, because we were
also absorbed in our daily routines …we did not really have the time to stop and focus on
relationships but then lots of people re-emerged from the past, they were like, what do you do? And
I was like, eeh I still work, what do you do? No, I am not and of course, I think that in that
627
situation people try to cope with it to just get the connections if they could to people they knew.”
Another person from Milan rediscovered her attachment to her family home: “I get crazy
about this situation because I feel very imprisoned, I cannot do anything. I just go around in Milan
and for me, it is very painful. This year, I spent a lot of time in my country of origin...I am from
Tuscany so I can go home with my parents, they live in the countryside and so at least I have
628
nature around me. This is the only solution.”

Whereas on one hand, the Covid-19 pandemic provided and still provides a true challenge
for all of us, whether directly or indirectly, some people were able to establish contacts
with friends or family or spend more time with their family general, as this respondent’
from Manchester indicates: “I was struggling to build report with people but my mom had moved
in, so I was not on my own and actually….in someone it was quite nice, because I did not really
spend….I am the youngest of 6, so I have not really spend a lot of time with my parents on their
own….neither of us could go anywhere so we were spending time together and both work from
629
home….we went for walks and cook meals together, that was nice.” This goes to show that
people in Milan and Manchester, not only generally related to loneliness but specifically

626
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
627
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
628
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
629
Interview. Manchester. (September 2021)
 269

enforced by the restrictions of the pandemic, shared sometimes very similar narratives.
On the other hand, the same person from Manchester struggled with her job for the
following reason: “I actually got a job, a new job. The same day that Boris announced lockdown
one. I signed the contract in March 2020 for this new job. And then Boris was like, okay, we're
shutting down. So I did my notice period in Lockdown, one or four weeks notice period for my old
job, which meant that I didn't have the normal ending of a job. I didn't go on or leave and I didn't
say goodbye to all the people that would normally, obviously, I did via text and things, but it's not
quite the same. And then I started the new job in April 2020. And I have only met my manager
630
twice. And I have not met anybody else in person.” The keyword to social capital and place
attachment during the pandemic is therefore access and the question to which degree not
having access could be compensated otherwise, such as by phone calls.

Locating Loneliness
How to Read and Use the Coping Behaviours

In the following, I present all coping behaviours using their main themes as an
example. To each of the themes, I added comments, mainly concentrating on what could
be difficult or hindering when applying such coping behaviours. More importantly, I also
added the spatial dimension of the themes, so to give examples of how each coping
behaviour has a very unique socio-spatial layout and profile.

630
Interview. Manchester. (September 2021).
270
 271

Figure 40: Locating coping behaviours with hindering factors

By understanding the socio-spatial profile of each behaviour, it can be said that almost no
parts of the city would not be relevant to at least one person. This may be not surprising
but it debunks the idea that lonely people would use only certain socio-spatial
environments, such as empty countryside roads, private homes or highly social
environments such as cafés or bars - for example illustrated by the Google images earlier. It
 272

is further understood, how each space contains not only different coping behaviours but
concomitant social expectations and levels of social interactions. In this highly complex
network of coping profiles, there are however only a few hindering factors that seem to
stop successful coping. The first is accessibility, the second is safety, the third is limited
mobility or infrastructure and the last is the subjective and temporary dimensions of
lockdowns or social anxiety, for example. Rather than this being the preliminary version of
a new design handbook to align our emotional experiences better with urban planning, it
invites us to understand the city in the context of many uses, so that, for example, any
space is simultaneously used for various activities and coping behaviours. Perhaps from
this knowledge, there are two main takeaways: First, the lonely people using certain
spaces may point attention to how these spaces actually could become more accessible, in
terms of opening hours, designs, events, and affordability. This may help to proactively
provide an environment within which the experience of loneliness may be easier to cope
with. It would be naive to assume that a thorough understanding of loneliness would limit
its prevalence or emergence in the first place. Secondly, it is important to understand how
the different spaces can be connected and perhaps should be, thinking in infrastructures
and atmospheres rather than in the design criteria of singular spaces. Both aspects are
part of this chapter.

Mapping Coping Behaviour

To further illustrate coping behaviour with regard to the urban spaces desired and
available within that process, I hereby provide examples of two different neighbourhoods
in Milan - NoLo and Porta Venezia - with two respondents each. Additionally, I will map
the coping behaviour of two respondents from Manchester, so that at least visually, the
difference in the scale of their activities and logic of the urban structure of the city
becomes apparent.

“[Behavioural] mapping is a technique used in environmental psychology and related

fields for recording people’s [behaviours] and movements systematically as these
[behaviours] occur in particular locations. A [behavioural] map is basically a record of
where people are, what they actually do, and how their [behaviours] are distributed in
space. Sommer and Sommer (2002) distinguish two forms of [behavioural] maps:
[place‐centred] or [individual‐centred]. A [place‐centred] map shows the locations of
people in a particular setting at a particular time engaging in various activities.
[Place‐centred] mapping is appropriate when the goal is to assess the usage of a particular
 273

area or location, such as a cafeteria. In contrast, an [individual-centred] map is a record of

a person’s movements and activities in a setting or settings over time. [Individual‐centred]
mapping is appropriate when the goal is to learn about a person or a group’s activities in
relation to location and time, for example, where and how teenagers spend their time a er
school. [Place‐centred] mapping can be used in combination with [individual‐centred]
631632633
mapping [...].”

I am not aware of another study that has mapped coping behaviour, however, the main
emotional experience so far explored by researchers mapping and tracking behaviour is
stress: “The study finds that open space typologies (park, square, courtyard, streets) are the
best predictors for perceived urban stress. They are followed by single properties such as
building coverage ratio, isovist vertices numbers, local integration and citywide
634
integration.” Beyond that, I have displayed attempts of mapping loneliness by the
British organisations AgeUK and Campaign to End Loneliness, who rely on the following
objective measures to map, or predict the geographical prevalence of, loneliness:

- Have a head of household aged 65-74, or 75+

- Have one occupant
- Report various health issues including mental illness, anxiety and depression
- Do not own a car
- Speak to their neighbours less than once a month or never
- Say they don’t have someone to listen to them, help in a crisis, or to relax with
- Say they are not satisfied with their social life
- Have a low annual income
- Require help with bin collection
- Have bereaved older people
- Marital Status
- Self-reported health status
- Age

631
Cheuk Fan Ng. “Behavioral Mapping and Tracking”. Chapter 3 in Robert Gifford. “Research Methods for Environmental
Psychology.“ (Hoboken, Wiley-Blackwell, 2016): 30
632
R. B. Bechtel and J. Zeisel, “Observation: The world under a glass”. Methods in environmental and behavioural research.
(1987) cited in Cheuk Fan Ng, “Behavioral Mapping and Tracking”, Chapter 3 in Robert Gifford, “Research Methods for
Environmental Psychology“. (Hoboken, Wiley-Blackwell, 2016): 30
633
R. Sommer and B. Sommer. “Mapping and trace measures. In A practical guide to behavioral research: Tools and
techniques. (New York, Oxford University Press, 2002) cited in Cheuk Fan Ng, “Behavioral Mapping and Tracking”, Chapter
3 in Robert Gifford, “Research Methods for Environmental Psychology“. (Hoboken, Wiley-Blackwell, 2016): 30
634
Martin Knöll, Katrin Neuhauser, Thomas Cleff and Annette Rudolph-Cleff. “A tool to predict perceived urban stress in
open public spaces”. Environment and Planning B: Urban Analytics and City Science Vol. 0 No. 0. (2017): 13
 274

635636
- Household size

My aim is to engage with the qualitative experience, that, of course, may be influenced by
the factors but not necessarily in ways that statistics can predict. Maas, van Dillen, Verheij
and Groenewegen state: “In addition to the personal and social [neighbourhood]
characteristics, mobility characteristics, such as transport-mode use, frequency of visits,
637
and distance from public spaces, were found to affect loneliness.” Macdonald,
Willemsen, Boomsmaa and Schermer further found that “[u]rban centres o en provide
many options for leisure activities, including entertainment, organised sports, or
community gatherings; however, there is evidence that despite these opportunities, the
geographical location can influence loneliness and mental health concerns. Wen, Hawkley
and Cacioppo found that factors such as crowding and air pollution contributed
negatively to self-rated health, even beyond the social characteristics of the
638639
community.“ Thus, my aim with this chapter is the following:

- Locating or grounding the experience of loneliness

- Understanding coping behaviour in space in terms of scale, distance, and activity patterns, …
- Thinking through the spaces used by considering the connection between the different spaces
used (infrastructure, stressors, hindering factors, …)
- Raising questions of walkability, accessibility, safety (in terms of traffic for example)

635
Age UK. “Loneliness maps: What makes older people at risk of being lonely, and which neighbourhoods have the highest risk?”
(2021). (accessed: 19.04.2022), https://www.ageuk.org.uk/our-impact/policy-research/loneliness-research-and-resources/loneliness-maps/
636
Campaign to End Loneliness. “Using data to identify loneliness”. [no date]. (accessed: 26.05.2022).
https://campaigntoendloneliness.org/guidance/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Using-data-to-identify-lonliness.pdf
637
Jolanda Maas, Sonja van Dillen; Robert Verheij and Peter Groenewegen. “Social contacts as a possible mechanism
behind the relation between green space and health”. Health & Place. Vol. 15. No. 21. (2009) in Lisanne Bergefurt, et. al.
“Loneliness and Life Satisfaction Explained by Public-Space Use and Mobility Patterns.” International Journal of
Environmental Research and Public Health. Vol. 16. (2019). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16214282
638
Kristi J. MacDonald, Gonneke Willemsen , Dorret I. Boomsma and Julie Aitken Schermer. “Predicting Loneliness from
Where and What People Do”. Social Sciences. Vol. 9. No. 4. (2020): 2
639
Ming Wen, Louise C. Hawkley and John T. Cacioppo “Objective and perceived neighborhood environment, individual SES
and psychosocial factors, and self-rated health: An analysis of older adults in Cook County, Illinois”. Social Sciences and
Medicine. Vol. 63. No. 10. (2006) cited in Kristi J. MacDonald, Gonneke Willemsen , Dorret I. Boomsma and Julie Aitken
Schermer. “Predicting Loneliness from Where and What People Do”. Social Sciences. Vol. 9. No. 4. (2020): 2
 275

Figure 41: Mapped coping behaviour of two respondents in NoLo, Milan

 276

Here (Figure 40) is a general example of how to read the mapped data: Person A applies
mainly a coping behaviour of Connecting and interacting with other people (CI), meaning this
person will turn outwards when faced with loneliness. For this person, this behaviour
includes going to space 1 and space 2 for activities 1 and 2. These activities are partly
solitary and mainly in semi-public spaces, for example, bars. Person A would, however, do
activities 3 and 4 in spaces 3 and 4, but does not do this for the following reason, example,
air pollution may prohibit running, not having a park nearby, and the space is closed due
to the lockdown. Such reconstruction of one’s narrative points not only attention to the
spaces used, but similarly to the spaces not used - rather than classifying these spaces as
non-spaces or non-relevant spaces, I invite the reader to consider them as in-between
spaces or fourth places, as explained earlier.

Person A is indicated in blue, person B in black. This map displays the coping behaviours
of two respondents and the spaces they have used in the NoLo-Neighbourhood, where
both respondents also lived. Both respondents have a certain degree of emotional and a
certain degree of social loneliness. The arrows indicate a strip or path without a specific
point, the simple numbers indicate a specific space and the circle lines indicate a couple
of streets or a subdistrict within that neighbourhood that was used to cope. Two facts will
be clear immediately: The first one is, as point 1 indicates, the neighbourhood itself is a
major part of the respondent’s identity and thus, being there in itself offers a sense of
belonging or even a buffer against loneliness. Living in neighbourhoods such as NoLo,
Porta Venezia (or Lambrate or Corvetto), respondents will o en mention how this
neighbourhood may be more ‘authentic’ or ‘real’ (people from other districts of Milan are
o en referred as fighetto, meaning snotty people) and so there is a certain demarcation of
mindsets based on areas. Secondly, the western part of the neighbourhood (le of Viale
Monza facing north) is much more used and there is a higher concentration of young
people in certain spots, including bars and cafés than on the right side. Understanding the
city in such a way, it becomes an arrangement of different neighbourhoods with distinct
atmospheres and social opportunities. It further becomes clear, unsurprisingly, that even
when people identify with NoLo, they are mostly referring to a small part of it, sometimes
even only one square. Such spaces can be understood as the social sub-centre, not only
being meeting places but spaces where the identity of the neighbourhood is constantly
constructed. If such spaces fail to be enjoyable when feeling lonely, one may therefore feel
that the whole neighbourhood has nothing to offer.
 277

The next observation, which becomes clearer when reading the transcriptions closely, is
that coping behaviour radiates outwards: People will start with friends and family
members and spaces at hand so it o en starts at home. At home means that people o en
retreat into their private homes and look to share their feelings amongst the people they
know (in person before, by phone during lockdown). A er the private home, there comes
spaces in the neighbourhood that people know make them feel better, then comes the
wider neighbourhood with spaces people like but go to less o en due to more distance
from home (for example Parco Trotter or Naviglio Martesana in NoLo). Only a er that come
other parts of the city. More than this indicating spatial preferences, it may further
indicate difficulties getting around - I would go to Navigli but I do not have the energy; There is
this nice park but I usually do not have enough time a er work to go there; and as the space
radiates outwards, people become more anonymous: From family and friends at home and
in the neighbourhood, to acquaintances and strangers in new places outside of it -
depending on the connection and interaction needed and the cause of loneliness. Thus,
little by little, people mobilise different social, spatial but also individual resources, so that
if, for example, known socio-spatial experiences will not help, people will seek to connect
to others. However, that is not necessarily a linear line but people may go back and forth
between what is known to them and what is unknown, o entimes implementing small
changes, such as this respondent from Milan explains: “I went to the cinema alone, I started
to do things I wanted to do even if I were alone because if I wait that someone does something
with me, I would never go out. I started to do that kind of things but I really do not feel so
640
comfortable doing that, I force myself a little bit.”

As for NoLo, I have noted more detailed and specific hindering factors that could prevent
successful coping. The most o en mentioned is that of housing: living in a ‘bad’ flat, in a
too expensive flat, a flat that is too dark and first of all finding the right flat is a
continuous source of distress for people, whose experience of moving within or arriving in
Milan could be majorly disturbed by these factors - a general struggle for many
respondents summarised by this statement: “[...] the apartment conditions in this city are not
641
good at all...you pay a high price for a very bad thing.” Having a ‘bad’ flat or living with
someone in an unpleasant social relationship may take away the first point of safety for
respondents, forcing them to leave their house more o en. On the flip side, living with
important and pleasant people may do the opposite. Other hindering factors are that
certain spaces, which could be very relaxing otherwise, are permanently overcrowded

640
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
641
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 278

(which counts for bars and sidewalks alike), too traffic-oriented, so that Viale Monza feels
like a divider in the neighbourhood of NoLo, or potentially dangerous spaces at night, for
example, the path near the railways. It becomes evident that many of these factors disturb
successful coping. It is worth imagining that a lonely person feels the need to go to a
certain space, but it is so crowded that one is constantly engaged in negotiating the space
available instead of finding a place to relax or observe others. Similarly, if person A (blue)
wants to go from point 5 to point 7 or 9 on the map (crossing Viale Monza), this person may
think: I would love to go, but then I have to cross the street again so I have to make a detour and
even if I did, then there is this underpass that is very dirty and it is already getting dark. This is
the advantage of the mapping method, namely to reconstruct the narrative through the
mindset of the respondents across interviews.

Summary of learnings from person A (blue dots and lines): The need for more space on the
sidewalks becomes clear in the way crowds are referenced (3) and the fear to be observed
642
when being alone (or seen as a “standalone”). On top of that, the access to Naviglio
Martesana (4) should be made clearer and simpler - especially by refurbishing the
connecting roads behind the railways (extending foot and bike paths). Similarly, forming
the two main squares Arcobalena and Morbegno into a district centre would be useful, so
that overcrowding and traffic can be reduced. Both narratives may also argue for another
centre on the other side of Viale Monza, to generate more traffic across the area, leading to
a more pedestrian-friendly environment and perhaps less overcrowding. When it comes to
hindering factors for this person, especially in the context of what they can teach about
changes to be made, this person is more concerned with events and the social stigma,
rather than actual spatial design: “I don't know, even a bar that is devoted to an activity, so
people can go alone or maybe could be a rule: 'Come here alone' and I don't know, read your book
643
or exchange something.” It can be seen, how the construction of actual physical space
itself is not enough, if it is not coupled with the right events, or, as suggested earlier, the
right atmospheres.

Summary of learnings from person B (black dots and lines): The main squares Piazza
Arcobalena (4) and Piazza Morbegno (3) could be turned into connecting squares to
emphasise them as the centre of the district. Secondly, Viale Monza and Via Padova need to
reduce traffic, as they currently slice the neighbourhood into inconclusive parts without
enough zebra-crossings or traffic lights. Both of these projects would aim at making NoLo

642
Interview, Milan, March, 2021
643
Interview, Milan, March, 2021
 279

more walking friendly and sidewalks wider, a finding that is consistent with the literature,
for example with Bergefurt et. al. who found that “[p]eople who live in walkable
[neighbourhoods{ participate more o en in events, know their [neighbours[, and are
socially engaged.” [...] Residents of walkable, green [neighbourhoods[ have more social
interactions and are less prone to becoming lonely than people who live in less-green
644645646
environments.” In addition, what I have stated earlier becomes clear here, namely
that the city according to loneliness may benefit a broader part the society and may be, as
in the case of Milan in line with current developments: “Milan has cited the 15-minute
city as a framework for its recovery, aiming to guarantee that essential services –
particularly healthcare facilities – are within walking distance for all residents, while
preventing a surge in car travel a er the end of lockdown. Milan aims to create 35km of
new bike lanes before the end of June and pedestrianise several school streets by
647
September.”

Additionally: Not every le over space has to be developed, so that for example the streets
next to the railways remain as a space for walking, being alone, looking at graffiti,
listening to music and as such, it could be made a bit safer with lights, benches, trees - to
attract more people. This, however, is debatable: On the one hand, one may assume that
every hindering factor could be resolved to make the coping experience better or easier.
On the other hand, these so-called hindering factors may actually be beneficial for the
experience, as it may stop overcrowding or too many other people using a space. Thus, it
is important to consider the specific case at hand. Some of these suggestions seem
evident, but I think that the experience of loneliness emphasises and highlights the very
person-place relationships. Lonely people will look for a positive process or outcome in
between them and the space and the people they are looking for. Sometimes within that
process, other spaces or elements are blended out, so that the focus may be very selective
and goal-oriented. One could even think that walking around in a thoughtful,

644
Lisanne Bergefurt, et. al. “Loneliness and Life Satisfaction Explained by Public-Space Use and Mobility Patterns.”
International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Vol. 16. (2019). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16214282
645
Pauline van den Berg, Fariya Sharmeen and Minou Weijs-Perrée. “On the subjective quality of social Interactions:
Influence of neighborhood walkability, social cohesion and mobility choices.” Transportation Research Part A: Policy and
Practice. Vol. 106. (2017) cited in Lisanne Bergefurt, et. al. “Loneliness and Life Satisfaction Explained by Public-Space Use
and Mobility Patterns.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. Vol. 16. (2019).
https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16214282
646
Jolanda Maas, Sonja van Dillen; Robert Verheij and Peter Groenewegen. “Social contacts as a possible mechanism
behind the relation between green space and health”. Health & Place. Vol. 15. No. 21. (2009) in Lisanne Bergefurt, et. al.
“Loneliness and Life Satisfaction Explained by Public-Space Use and Mobility Patterns.” International Journal of
Environmental Research and Public Health. Vol. 16. (2019). https://doi.org/10.3390/ijerph16214282
647
C40 Knowledge Hub. “How to build back better with a 15-minute city“. (July 2020). (accessed: 06.05.2020),
https://www.c40knowledgehub.org/s/article/How-to-build-back-better-with-a-15-minute-city?language=en_US
 280

self-reflective state draws your attention inside, so that the chance of actually being
robbed or involved in an accident may be higher, the more traffic occurs on the respective
side.

Similar to NoLo, Porta Venezia is a neighbourhood with a high potential for identification,
so living there (even though both respondents are not ultimately happy with their flat) is
essential to a general well-being and feeling of connectedness. Again, person A is
indicated in blue, person B in black. That feeling occurs and is built up on sometimes
small details that remind both respondents, neither of them being from Milan, of their
home: For one it was to have a lot of plants in the flat and a park (Parco Montanelli)
nearby, for the other respondent it means having small shops, within which a small talk
648
with the owner was always possible. The respondent indicated with the black colour is
mainly lockdown-lonely and emotionally lonely. The respondent indicated with the blue
colour is mainly socially lonely with a slight sense of emotional loneliness. Similarly here,
there is a division caused by Corso Buenos Aires (a street avoided if possible by both
respondents) and the majority of the places located west of that street. The area of the
Giardini Montanelli is used by both respondents and provides a central, o en daily and
only during the day, access point. The flip side of the activities in the park is provided by
the various bars, mainly concentrated in Via Lecco and Via Melzo which pose a transition
from the calm and quietness of the park to a busy nightlife area. It is further worth noting,
that even though being alone and looking for Self-Reflection or Distraction is a common
theme overall, the space for that Self-Reflection or Distraction can sometimes be a bar and
sometimes a park. For example: The respondent indicated with that black colour uses the
Giardini Montanelli for exercises and o en with a group of people. However, by having
these people in the park, this person knows that if a Distraction is needed, it can be found
here (by having people in the neighbourhood away from home) whereas the other person
indicated by the blue colour may only feel Distraction being at home playing the piano. It
can be said that feeling a sense of belonging or getting distracted and/or wanting to
connect is a shared theme amongst many, but the character of the person and the cause
for loneliness determines the way this need is acted out - one theme is already in itself
wide-ranging. Additionally, it depends on the social and financial resources available.

648
Interviews. Milan. (February 2021)
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Figure 42: Mapped coping behaviour of two respondents in Porta Venezia, Milan
 282

It becomes also clear that the coping itself greatly depends on what is available or at hand
in the neighbourhood. Whereas an abandoned path near the railways could serve as a
walkway to feel relaxed and reflect, doing sports or going to the Planetarium is a much
more common activity in Porta Venezia. Thus, as the general everyday life adjusts to the
possibilities in the neighbourhood, or, for that matter, one chooses this neighbourhood
because of its possibilities, so does the coping behaviour. The respondent indicated with
that black colour went to the park frequently; and when he felt more lonely during the
lockdown, that hobby became a necessity - one can imagine the inner restlessness and
frustration as the parks were closed during the first wave of infections. However,
important in this thesis is to understand what a street next to the railway shares with a
planetarium. The answer seems simple: Both activities can be done alone, are
outside-directed for example looking at the sky and looking at graffiti on the walls and it
is accessible.

Two other issues are worth pointing out for these respondents: The importance of not
only living in a certain neighbourhood but importance of keeping a weekly or even daily
routine in that neighbourhood. As for the person indicated in blue, walking around the
neighbourhood and finishing that walk at a nearby Pasticceria is a Sunday routine - small
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talks with the shop owner included. This simple yet effective behaviour creates a stark
feeling of belonging and being welcomed so that even in times of loneliness, one can be
certain that this shop owner is still there. Additionally, o en previously loose connections
to shop owners partly intensified during lockdown or quarantine, as these owners can
bring food or provide assistance in other ways due to their social connectedness. Another
respondent from Milan explained: “Yeah I have a small organic grocery shop around the corner
and I ...yeah I talk to the owner and he was very helpful during the lockdown because he...I called
him to order my grocery and then he le the shopping back outside the window so we had this kind
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of things [...].” For the respondent in black dots and lines, the routine looks as follows: “I
go to the park every day to run but then a er running I try to be as busy as I can. I am doing like....
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gardening, this stuff. Watching television... depends.... cooking. I try to be busy.” Here, a
continuous effort to discover shops and parts of the neighbourhood becomes the routine,
which will lead to a sense of belonging, then becoming a pro-active behaviour. Through such
examples, I hope to portray how my terminology and worked-out themes make it possible
to discuss loneliness in a socio-spatial framework.

649
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
650
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
651
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
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Worth mentioning is a preference, perhaps beyond loneliness, for spaces that provide
multiple uses. Piazza Arcobalena in NoLo can be used to have a work meeting with a coffee,
play table tennis or go out with friends. Giardini Montanelli similarly is a place for exercise,
meeting friends or walking and listening to music. Such spaces become diverse and
indispensable in people's everyday narrative. On the bottom of that seems to be some
comfort: Not every respondent will venture through the city on a daily basis aiming to
form new place attachments. If, on the other hand, a place does not offer multiple uses
necessarily or people using that place have one aspect of it cultivated too strongly, the
place becomes charged with expectations, as these two respondents indicated with the
vehicular traffic and crowd-dominated Corso Buenos Aires or as another respondent, not
mentioned previously, indicated with Via Lecco: “We went to the gay street but ironically it is a
place when you feel more lonely than ever for our community and lots of people...I did my
research...lots of people think that because going there you go in groups and you don’t really get to
know other people, you just stand there, have your drink, talk shit about people...which
homosexuals do usually and it is just like OK, we have this kind of lobby, you are not a lobby...if
you are alone and you in Via Lecco, unless you are very drunk and unless you meet people who are
very drunk, you don’t get to speak with people..they will speak to you but in an understanding way,
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like OH, he is alone, poor guy, so..” This is a valuable portrayal of a moment of
inner-conflict: The street has usually provided a pleasant experience but in the course of
loneliness, attachment turned into detachment, where one may still follow similar
activities but enjoy them less. Such experience of place-related conflict can be disturbing
for the one coping. The person in blue indicated that as follows: “In Facebook I am inside
two groups of the neighbourhood. So the Maiocchi one and the Porta Venezia one. And then there
is another group on Facebook which is not linked to the neighbourhood that I belong to that is
Marteria e Oltre. And there is such a difference in their behaviour with people because the two
groups of the neighbourhood are mostly driven by these Fascist people like they attack you...once I
tried to write something like I was looking for a house and all these boomers were replying in a
negative way like I did something wrong. First question: Do you have time to waste? Second
question: Is it useful for anyone? Third question: What is the reason? So these 2 groups give me
negative vibes while there is this Marteria which is by Freelance people, art people, videographers,
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videomakers just looking for help for work. That gives me positive vibes.”

652
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
653
Interview. Milan. /February 2021)
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Summary of learnings from person A (blue dots and lines): As Porta Venezia is a
neighbourhood divided by Corso Buenos Aires, it could make sense to slow down traffic so
that more access to people is provided. Another aspect is that Giardini Montanelli is fenced
off, so that entrance points overcrowd easily and prevent a flow between different spaces
- sometimes one has to walk more sometimes to get to the entrance, making it tiresome to
enter. Main streets circulating the park do not support activities o en done within the
park so walking or running towards the park will be interrupted by traffic lights. Looking
at this coping behaviour, it becomes clear that people cultivate certain aspects of the
neighbourhood: This person relies on an idea of it, within that the neighbourhood is green
and art-oriented, whereas the other respondent concentrated on its sport facilities. The
ability of a neighbourhood to allow for peaceful and mutual co-existence of different
individual versions of it, may be what makes the neighbourhood pleasant and what allows
successful coping within it.

Summary of learnings from person B (black dots and lines): The importance of inner-city
sports facilities that are not indoors become clear here. Usually, bike paths have to be
accessed via non-bike paths. If, for example, bike paths are only provided along a street
such as Corso Buenos Aires, where there are mainly offices and shops, it should be evident
that cyclists will get there by using car-traffic-oriented roads or sidewalks. Additionally,
bars in and around Via Lecco are o en overcrowded and streets are still used by cars, even
at night. By cutting off space for cars, more alternative areas can be provided, so that
spaces for Social Connection and spaces for Solitude (for example the park or a nearby
church) are in closer proximity and easier to access from one another. It becomes further
clear, similar to NoLo and indicated by the person in blue, that only a small portion of the
neighbourhood is actually used. This coping behaviour goes against the spatial layout of
the city - an imaginary line connecting all the dots would portray that. This means that if
people go from space to space, there is no direct way but more o en than not, people have
to choose between different paths. Thus, the actual area in the neighbourhood used is
much more than the spaces indicate, arguing for supportive infrastructure throughout. By
supportive infrastructure, I suggest that an over-concentration (financially, economically)
on only the busy and most used areas is the wrong approach precisely because of the built
layout of the neighbourhood. Instead, the focus should be more on connecting the
different spaces and flowing atmospheres, as opposed to one quiet road and one busy road
next to one another.
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 286

Figure 43: Mapped coping behaviour of two respondents in Manchester

Also in this last map, person A is indicated in blue and person B is indicated in black.
These are two respondents from Manchester, person A being more emotionally lonely
(missing another certain person) and person B being more socially lonely (missing
connections in life). Both persons strongly identify with Manchester, but person B is more
strongly with some districts in the south of Manchester because they are greener and he
grew up there. Person B feels more belonging toward the city centre, as this person
bought a home there and identifies himself as a person with an urban cosmopolitan
mindset. Worth pointing out is that mapping the coping behaviours of respondents from
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Manchester is generally more difficult, as spaces mentioned are more scattered across the
city centre - the map of Manchester is, for example, four times larger than the maps of
Milan and still not every place of each person would have fit. This cannot be explained by
the sole size of the city, as Milan is significantly bigger. However, Milan has three times
more inhabitants and is denser. Further, major parking lots, a high amount of inner-city
highways and low-density residential housing impede quick access between spaces in
Manchester without a car. However, rather than the coping scale being explained by the
layout of the city alone, it may also have to do with the attachment of the respondents,
Manchester respondents feel more attachment to the whole city compared to the
neighbourhood attachment in Milan, as well as the fact, that Manchester respondents may
be searching for specific places, rather than concentrating on the neighbourhood. The
scatteredness of friendships across the city of Manchester is similarly important. To
illustrate this, I would like to rely on some findings from the famous book To Dwell Among
Friends by Claude Fisher: The first realisation is that in a “[...] small town, you can live only
close or far away to your friends, [whereas in] cities: you can live in any distance to your
friends. [...] [Secondly], [...] urban people can form a community without propinquity and
these relations are personally most fulfilling [...] and [lastly] [...] local relations cost less and
distant ones cost more, people tend to value their distant ones higher. [...] [Said another]
[...] way: the only distant friends we keep are the most rewarding ones - nearby friends do
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not have to be that special, people are emotionally closer to their distant relation.” In
addition Manchester respondents have a more scattered coping behaviour because they
tend to be more lonely, as displayed previously, thus they have already perhaps explored
their neighbourhoods and are now willing to expand throughout the city in choice of one
friend, one experience or one pleasant place.

The most significant aspect of person B is that this person has lost access to his house, a
nearby park and thus to the neighbourhood in the south of Manchester as the three black
arrows on the bottom indicate. With the loss of these central private spaces of belonging,
this person’s coping is strongly influenced by seeking alternative places to call home;
ironically one of them being a cinema with a bar and restaurant also called HOME.
Additionally, this person spends more time at the workplace and previously at the
university. At the workplace, this person has found guidance by talking to an older
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colleague and asking for suggestions and help, generally speaking, in life. It is also

654
Claude S. Fischer. “To Dwell Among Friends: Personal Networks in Town and City”. (Chicago, University of Chicago
Press, 1948): 172
655
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
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Interesting to know, that this person’s coping behaviour happens mainly at the southern
tip of the very city centre, around where points 1 - 3 - 4 - 6 are. This is something no other
analysis than this mapping would have made so clear and one can hypothesise that this
may have to do with the felt distance to the home neighbourhood in the south. In other
words: This person may rely on coping spaces that were closer, more accessible and more
relevant in the past when this person was still living at home. In comparison with the blue
dots of person B who seems to be more oriented towards the northern part of the city
centre, there seems to be the underlying necessity to stay in that part of the city, where
quick access to the south of Manchester is possible if needed. Being in the northern part
of the centre, one may feel cut off as going through the city centre itself - regardless of the
mode of transport - is o en a struggle due to overcrowding and traffic. Further, this
respondent states: “I would say...I would use the money to subsidise it to make it cheaper and
more accessible because probably..arts and theatre it is quite middle class...you get few
working-class people that go there and I remember the first time I went to the palace theatre and I
did not know what I was doing and I was very...it was an environment I have never been exposed
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to….I like that...arts and culture should be accessible to all.” It almost seems as if this person’s
coping behaviour is a proxy for other people’s coping behaviour, by supporting accessible
spaces and going frequently to arts and theatre venues that he would like to be more
accessible. Whilst coping, this person thinks actively about the city. Such proxy-coping
can be found throughout all interviews and it can be understood as the theme of projection,
namely that one’s feelings are projected onto another person so that one can think about
and treat this other person in a way one wants to be treated. Here is another example from
a respondent from Manchester: “Social media wise I feel like I am quite good at not comparing
myself to other people because I know that that is so much the surface, there is so much more going
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on in people's lives.”

Person A is similarly losing access (or better: a sense of belonging) to his home, however
for the reason that he feels older than the people living in the district. Manchester city
centre attracts first and foremost young people in their 20s whereas this person is in his
middle 30s. This circumstance was at the base of his wish to move out of the centre to a
smaller place with people of different ages and community feelings, so at least his
imagination. This person displays the small-town-large-town difference as follows: “Oh
yeah for sure...you will have that harnessed against you. I could fall over drunk here and the person
walking into the kebab shop might laugh but I will not see them again...if I fall over in Tottington,

656
Ibid.
657
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
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I will be known as drunk-falling-over-man for the next 32 years.” On the other hand, this
person likes the city centre for its pubs, opportunities and even sceneries, such as the
aesthetic of the motorways at night. Also, person A enjoys watching films - which seems
to be the preferred activity to do alone for most respondents. However, the coping
behaviour of person A is strongly determined by the plan this person made for himself: “I
generated a sort of well-chart for myself that I have to follow, so incorporated into that is certain
days where I am comfortable on my own and again certain days where I will push things of my
own[...]... what I am trying to do is to have 2 days a week...designed for me...quiet on my own, play
my computer game, watch Netflix and the other days trying to involve other people in so I am
making a conscious effort to try and meet up with old friends...and if I do not go out...if that does
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not work...my big three days: Thursday, Saturday and Sunday...I look at 3 days to attack…”
Attack indicates looking for social connection. This goes to show the prolonged loneliness
this person is going through, reflected spatially by a dispersed spatial approach: This
person stays within the area he likes the most but expands outwards more and more, as in
this area alone it seems difficult to make social connections. However, one of the most
interesting facts about this person is that this person engages in a thoroughly active
manner with the city, implementing spaces strongly into his coping behaviour. Generally,
both people are fascinated with the idea of living in the city and its social and spatial
possibilities, yet both struggle to utilise these possibilities mainly because of a lack of
social contact. Person B even quotes his grandfather saying: “He said to her, how can you be
bored in a big city like Manchester? So much going on out there, go out and do something. I think
when you are lonely in a big city, there is so much going on but it does not always feel accessible, so
I think the thing that needs to be done is places, parks, venues….I like football, whatever it may be
for the, their little….I think the city needs to work for everyone...if you live in a big city, you need to
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have places where you can go and for your mental health and well-being.”

Summary of learning from person A (blue dots and lines): From person A it can be learned
how a focus of city governments on a city centre, meaning to place leisure time venues and
start-ups mostly here can attract a particularly young crowd, within that people might feel
excluded. People from other age groups seem to go only to certain pubs or libraries but
may otherwise stay in their residential districts for the most part. It can be also learned
that a city may put the effort into designing elements, that perhaps did not seem necessary
when they were built: More information boards explaining all buildings and not only the

658
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
659
Ibid.
660
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
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main attractions, more safety in form of wider sidewalks, more street lights and perhaps
noise blocks along the highway, may at least for some people make these enjoyable spaces
to walk. My personal impression of person A is that this person is lonely every day and
presumably for years. This can be seen through the fact, that nearly all of this person’s
actions - from going to work to see a movie to going to run are coping behaviours and
related to loneliness: Findings friends being the dominant theme that occurs throughout:
“I have started doing park run on the Saturday morning and off the back of park run, I have been
invited to and I have gone sometimes times to post-run breakfasts with runners from that...that
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may be something that gains an actual friendship out of.” Rather than spatial suggestions,
this may call for more events and opportunities for activities alone.

Summary of learnings from person B (black dots and lines): As the person stated himself,
especially when it comes to coping with loneliness, making the hurdles and difficulties to
participate in a space as low as possible, thus providing space to be on one’s own amongst
others, make theatre and arts venues as affordable as possible and avoid overcrowding on
the way to get to these most likely central venues. It can be also learned, but that is
learning for Manchester overall, that perhaps the concentration on the city centre of pubs
and venues is too strong so that places overcrowd easily. However, it seems already that as
a result of that, districts have more and more own cafés, night clubs, shops and general
leisure time activities to offer, creating pleasant sub-centres for some of the respondents.
It becomes also evident how strongly important a frequent and reliable infrastructural
connection between the suburbs and the city centre is. Not only is it connecting spaces,
but it may itself be a pleasant moment, as another respondent from Manchester recalled:
“It takes me 4 minutes on the train to get into the city centre. Uhm, but I do enjoy that commute to
662
Manchester because it gets me out and about and then.”

In summary, it can be seen how mapping the coping behaviour evokes not only a more
thorough and detailed understanding of the city but similarly points to individual
differences in people experiencing loneliness as well as differences between the people in
the two respective spaces. At the same time, suggestions for urban planning, for social
policies and for an understanding of loneliness generally can be derived. If anything, the
understanding that lonely people use the same spaces as everyone else, sometimes for
finding different meanings in them, are confronted with various social expectations (from
them toward others and vice versa) and hopes may raise awareness and question once

661
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
662
Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
 291

more, the inclusiveness and flexibility of these spaces. It could be argued, for example,
that a space is only successful, functional, well-designed or simply good if it serves lonely,
happy, sad, frustrated joyful people alike. At least, the perspectives of people going
through such different emotional experiences can become valuable elements to take into
consideration when thinking about the city and it design.

Socio-Spatial Coping Awareness

In this segment, I would like to display findings that may not necessarily be related
to loneliness as a phenomenon, but that are relevant to my research question. Researching
loneliness will deliver results that are perhaps applicable on a more general level, however,
it is to be kept in mind that these particular results are regarding loneliness. Their wider
validation exceeds the scope of this thesis. However, by wider validation, I mean that the
city, according to the needs of people experiencing loneliness may perhaps be a city that
could serve the general public, as it seems to make another argument for less
overcrowding, fewer cars, more greenery, affordable and accessible spaces (in various
meanings of the words) and so on. Here, I would like to take another approach, namely to
display how spatial or socio-spatial people actually think and if it is necessarily the built
environment that needs the change or if not perhaps researchers should devote their
attention to the social space it produces. The socio-spatial coping awareness displays to
what degrees people consciously use spaces or people to cope. It is the display of what is
conscious rather than what is unconscious and is thus solely resulting from the statements
of participants rather than my interpretation of such. I here display the different
awareness that people apply to their coping, dissecting the social space and the built
environment.

a) I actively use spaces to cope.

“[...] with music in my ear and then I just walk and I don't know, I have this strong
bond with the urban spaces, that's just it. I really love to go to all sorts of places. I
mean my favourite spot probably is near the railways, so I go and follow that part
663
of...because it is more isolated[...]”

a.1) I would actively do certain activities but the social stigma prevents me
from (for example going to a bar).

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Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
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664
“It's like you are a loser if you are there alone right?”

b) I need certain people and will find them in certain spaces.

“If I go to Corso Como it is different than going to Nolo or Crescenzago nearby,
because you have expectations, because here is the richest part, here is the normal
part, so I am looking for an alternative, indie part in Milan that is Nolo and Brera, is
Colonne di San Lorenzo...this part here and it is not really important because you get
665
in a bar, look around and understand what kind of person is your type and go.”

c) I need certain people.

“[...] your question is strange because if I feel alone, I don’t want another place, I
would like people…..so I don’t know how to describe a place because it is still
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empty….”

If some people hold the belief that certain spaces (as built environments) help them and
others are more oriented to the social space produced in such built environments, I come
to question the power hierarchies - Do I feel seen, present, heard, recognized, accepted by a
space and its users? - social stigmas and infrastructure of a space rather than (but also
through) its materials, facades and furniture. People that actively use spaces to cope may
hold the belief that bringing themselves in the right built environment, it will attract
other similar-minded people alike. People that scan their environment for certain people
and build a certain dependence on them, may conceptualise space solely as the facilitator
of social interactions - grounds that make contact happen. In either case, spaces affect its
users, not only facilitating social contacts but limiting the possible variants of how that
social action can take place. It is then some people whose behaviour challenges dominant
behavioural norms in space, namely exactly by counteracting what could be called
‘common behaviour’ in such space - where the appropriation of space to be experienced in
the condition of loneliness may deconstruct spatial hierarchies into socio-spatial
possibilities. By spatial hierarchies or power hierarchies, I hereby refer to dominant
activities in space and the possibility of a lonely person feeling safe, heard and welcomed
in a given environment. To co-exist in happiness, loneliness, anger, sadness and
frustration within one socio-spatial space may only prove its success if all of these

664
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
665
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
666
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
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emotions can be experienced to their ultimate extent - if one cannot feel ‘comfortably’ lonely
in a space, is this space inclusive?

If I can bring back the example of the respondent who told me he sat on a bench, whereas
actually, it was a curb, one could say that in the condition of loneliness, this respondent
sat on the ground retrospectively thinking it was a bench. Hereby it can be seen how
extreme emotional periods may make possible what perhaps otherwise would be hindered
by social norms. A sidewalk may thus become a space to sit on and one oneself exhibits an
example of lonely behaviour. In response, this space is more strongly negotiated for the
people passing by, who may be physically taller than the person sitting but whose own
behaviour is put into question - would it be possible to ask the person sitting down if he or she is
alright? My aim is not so much to argue for a bench to put in place here but rather to
question our daily routines by imagining these alternatives.

d) The details of walking interviews and think-aloud walks.

Whereas people tend to operate on a relatively macro-space-based scale (talking about
certain locations such as shops, bars and streets) in their descriptions, this changed during
the Walking Interview and the Think-Aloud-Walk, that I conducted with two respondents
individually. Suddenly, curbs, rails, graffiti, corners, stairs, perspectives and other
elements were included, giving a much more detailed description of one’s coping
behaviour. Here is an illustration of that, in that a respondent from Milan displays his
imaginative layer triggered by details of a certain space: “But I think there is also the
Lavasecco there.[...] the laundry thing, pretty isolated, like there is like the bar also on the side….this
is the other part I noticed but the general feeling in this square is that you have little shops, little
things...that is the difference from Centrale neighbourhood that is so great, big, magnificent and
the station itself and then also, that is very important, the Gazebo, like this umbrellas, for me that's
seaside because there is this gelati brand, ice cream brand Motta and there used to be also in
summer others of another brand that is Algida [?] and I don't know why but the bar seems to have a
lot of that and they are very old and so the general feeling if there is the sun like today for me it is a
667
seaside place.” Sufficient to say, the methodology and methods determine the data, so
that in a study that is stronger influenced by architecture and architectural theory, more
space-based methods may refine some of my findings.

Atmospheres of Loneliness

667
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
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Overall, it seems that people operate in their thinking on an environmental or

atmospheric level. That may be because their aim is to feel better and atmospheres may be
the closest spatial concept related to grasping such ambition. Here is an example from a
Manchester respondent, who compared his place of youth with the place he is currently
living with regard to his subjective well-being: “And come from south manchester and I lived
there all my life and south manchester is a lot more tree-lined streets, more greenery, a lot more...I
lived for 20 years with my mum in a house with a large garden, so I had never appreciated it before
but my friend becky lives in east manchester, now east manchester up until 20 years ago was
probably the most deprived area of manchester and still is, but it had regeneration...nea the city
stadium, lots of money put in the area, got the tram now, so you know, it is all...what I notice is that
you can tell it is former industrial, old factories and kind of workers terraced house and I find the
actual area, that they kind of greenery and lack of the kind of...it just...it does not feel like...again it
668
kind of adds to feeling a bit...the area lowers my mood a bit.”

Thus, together with the coping behaviours and their socio-spatial implications, planners
and policy-makers may consider grasping the city as a sum of different atmospheres that
are in multiple ways infrastructurally and socially connected. It is therefore a
contemporary understanding of the city, that is entirely different from a ‘functionalist and
modernist city’ or a ‘technotopian postmodernist city’. In this new understanding, space
becomes the expression of people, and is at the same time inviting, affordable, flexible and
accessible. Atmospheres, inclusive and sensitive, are thus created by their users without
much effort. Here the city reminds me of a project I came across during this research done
in Stockholm in 2008, where users could express their emotions by choosing from
different options such as I feel sad or I feel happy; and whether people in Stockholm would
669
be sad or happy facades of buildings would light up differently.

Thinking in atmospheres aligned with human emotions, Griffero has provided valuable
thoughts to keep in mind, thus quoted here at length: “In other cases, the atmospheric
perception is instead even antagonistic. Just as it is possible to discover new landscape
values in the same place, it is undoubtedly possible to feel an atmosphere relatively
different from the one expected (and that maybe has become a cliché). Walking through
Paris, I could not feel at all the Parisian atmosphere made famous by books, films and
paintings; also while travelling through Italy the atmospheric expectations instilled in me
by figurative culture could also be disproved by direct experience (this is what famously

668
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
669
Erik Krikortz. “Emotional Cities.” (2008). http://krikortz.net/emotional_cities.php
 295

happened to Goethe). But what is significant is that, once again, the supposed atmosphere
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of the place is understood by us in any case, whether to adapt to it or to escape it.”
Earlier in the same book: “[...] a person who lives an atmospheric feeling knows
immediately how to behave: ‘he who is content can jump around; he who is sad can moan
and sit dull or as if he was shattered; he who is ashamed can lower his head, shrug his
shoulders; he who is irremediably desperate can burst into a clamorous laughter, etc.: no
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one that is thus involved has to awkwardly wonder how it is done.” Atmospheres are
thus embodied practices and one may therefore consider loneliness as such an
atmosphere, both transmitted by the person experiencing it and influenced and shaped by
the socio-spatial surroundings. Architects may prefer to reduce it to a play of volumes and
lights but may forget about its social dimension. The one experiencing loneliness thus
delivers a lonely atmosphere to a space and may, if possible, choose to rearrange the
furniture according to his or her needs and leaves the space filled with the lonely mindset
for the next person to come - the project of Erik Krikrotz teaches such opportunities
similarly like an older idea of the Lettrist International Movement idea, who proposed to
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equip street lights with switches to turn them off or on. Spaces become thus extensions
of individual perception and feeling and offer the ground to manifest these perceptions
into social and spatial experiences.

Learnings about Urban Spaces of Milan and Manchester

Looking at the existing cityscape of the two respective cities through the lived
experience of a lonely person addresses some urban issues that could be beneficial to
urban planning beyond being beneficial to people experiencing loneliness. I will now
examine different topics, some of them already identified in the hindering factors, in a
more thorough manner. These topics could be divided into fundamentals and additionals,
meaning some of the issues identified while exploring coping behaviour with loneliness
are key to allowing for a general urban living oriented towards subjective well-being in the
first place, while others may be more specific to loneliness.

Safety

670
Tonino Griffero. “Atmospheres: Aesthetics of Emotional Spaces.” (Ashgate, Farnham, 2010): 132
671
Ibid.
672
Lettrist International. “Proposals for Rationally Improving the City of Paris.” (Paris, Potlatch, 1955) in Ken Knabb. Bureau
of Public Secrets. (2006). http://www.bopsecrets.org/SI/
 296

The first one is that of safety, explained by a respondent from Milan: “You have to go back
to your home, you're a girl at night, at 2 am maybe and this person in your back is walking with
you. Who is it? Who could he be? What can he do? These are the questions and in these streets it is
dangerous, but every street in Milan at night if you are alone and a girl is scary and dangerous,
673
there is not a place that is safe for you.” Generally speaking, there are many such examples.
It seems that people feel safer in places with more others around, although statistically, it
may be more dangerous (crowded city centres tend to have higher crime rates than
suburbs, although the type of crime may be different), as explained by one respondent
674
from Manchester: “[W]hen was 16, 17, 18 had drunk men around and it is like...it was not that
safe whereas ever since living in more suburban areas...I have felt so much better because there are
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parks and there are people around.” Perceived danger influences the streets people take and
whether or not they would go somewhere alone. When it comes to the built environment,
it is easy to think how generally more street lights and perhaps a better diversification of
areas with bars and shops, as opposed to only residential areas, could be helpful to
establish a new sense of safety. Another respondent would add, for example, how streets
being dirty, perhaps with run-down buildings could additionally create a feeling of
unsafety, as these may seem abandoned and not taken care of. However, the word safety
has many meanings and is not always directed at physical urban safety. For one
respondent from Milan, another person could mean safety: “She's always been there. She lives
alone but never feels lonely. Her very presence makes me relax and feel safe. And yet for another,
having experienced solitude, with what she according to my opinion meant loneliness, made her
safe: maybe we cry because we are human so I realised that in the past I felt atypical because of my
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sensibility but later….thanks to solitude, now I think that I am safe.” Moreover, one respondent
from Manchester states: “I don't think it's interesting because I know that there's sort of a lot of
discourse about women's safety in public. And I never really feel unsafe. I feel sort of I guess like
emotionally unsafe if I suddenly feel a bit anxious and I think oh my god, I have to get out of you.
But I never feel in danger. But then [...] if I'm walking at night, I don't tend to go into the park
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unless I need to cut through it.” Both cities, Milan and Manchester, have areas that are
more o en mentioned with regard to perceived safety than others, so for example some
strips of Via Padova in Milan and Moss Side in Manchester. Mostly, it is female
respondents who fear the danger of males, specifically the idea of physical violence

673
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
674
See for example: Lee Mesika. The Perspective. “City vs, Suburbs: Where is it better to live?”. ([no month] 2020). (accessed:
30.05.2022). https://www.theperspective.com/debates/city-vs-suburbs
675
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
676
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
677
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
 297

towards them. This may reflect a general problem in Western societies, but for my
loneliness research, it means for example that themes such as derivé or distraction are acted
out differently - whilst males may feel fine walking along a dark street at night, females
may prefer to do this during daytime or to concentrate their walking on certain areas,
potentially enclosed indoor spaces such as malls, here explained by a respondent from
Milan: “[...] so I was on my own and the darkness and the weather, so for me it was….the gyms were
closed and I love to swim...and because it was dark in the mornings and evenings...I did not feel
safe enough to go for walks in the morning or evening and I had to work in the day, so I struggled
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to get exercise or fresh air.” It becomes clear that males have access to a wider range of
coping techniques than females and similarly it becomes clear that there are fundamental
conditions such as safety, that have to be ‘given’ and that without them, nothing else can
flourish. However, despite many ideas such as free public transport for females, more
street lighting and so on, the issues of safety with regard to these two cases may result
more and be seen in the context of neighbourhoods with a low socio-economic status.
Both Moss Side and Via Padova have a notorious history of crime (or violence), but to solve
that issue, renewals in the physical environment alone are not successful. A city with
no-go-zones at night for females is not a livable city. On the other hand, it is further not
my aim to promote public safety in terms of eyes on the street as Jane Jacobs promoted
simply because first of all, such is hard to imagine in the residential context of Manchester
and second of all, the value of emptiness is appreciated by some respondents, so for
example explained by this one in Milan: “[...] when I am lonely I like to concentrate more on
empty space, definitely, I really like the concept of emptiness in photography, because it is empty
that contains the action, the full. So for me empty space is really something...it has a very deep
679
meaning for me because it is where everything starts.” Physical safety may not always be only
related to other people, but cars may be also an issue of potential safety, illustrated by this
short extract from a conversation with a Milan respondent:

“My question: Is the chance of you getting hit by a car higher when you walk around lonely?

I don’t think so. Even if I am in my thoughts no. Did I think about being hit by a car? Yes. Probably
yes, when I was really in depression.

My question: In the sense of taking away your life?

678
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
679
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 298

Yes, well it was kind of like what if I die here, right now, what should be the sense of my existence,
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have I le a track on people? Have I le something to people?”

Traffic and Mobility

Interestingly enough, traffic mainly in the form of cars, poses quite a hindering factor.
Whereas many respondents mentioned walking and a few respondents being on a train or
on a bicycle as pleasant activities they enjoy when they feel lonely or generally have a
lowered mood, none of the respondents mentioned going for a car ride when feeling
lonely, although that may be happening in the themes of escapism or relax, especially when
a change of place may be involved that lies outside of the city. Such an idea of opportunities
connected to cars is expressed by this respondent from Manchester: “I do drive, we only
have one car and my husband takes it to work. I am without a car. I have a bike but I found that
easier in Germany bikes would get you everywhere whereas in England, you at least get it stolen so
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my bike is locked in a shed that is locked. Just difficult to be accessible.” Unfortunately, I have
no data on my respondents concerning car ownership. Interesting about the car is the fact,
that for some respondents it may provide a private safe space that can be used to explore
public spaces, as another respondent from Manchester says: “I got really upset and really
down and I would just cry in my car outside a grocery shopping and I would finish it...and just
682
crying in my car and I got home.” Having a car can therefore mean having more
opportunities for some, but similarly decreasing the opportunities to cope for others, as
explained by this respondent from Milan: “I started using more my bicycle in the city and for
sure Milan is a difficult city for a biker because even when I go to the office it is really crazy for the
traffic, so the better moment to enjoy the bicycle in Milan is the evening where there aren't cars,
the city is not frenetic during the day and so during the evening you are calm and you can enjoy
really the city and what is around you, that is usually I don't go with any music, I go with my
683
bike.”

From the previous maps, it can be hypothesised that major roads cut off parts of the city
from one another, that people frequently use, such as Piazza Arcobalena and Piazza
684
Morbegno in Milan or the City Centre or Oxford Road in Manchester. Viale Monza or
Corso Buenos Aires similarly may participate in lowering the motivation of a respondent to

680
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
681
Interview. Manchester (September 2021)
682
Interview. Manchester (December 2021)
683
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
684
Piazza Arcobalena is not the official name, however, due to a lack of an official name locals have titled the square in this
manner.
 299

go from place A to place B, that is because of high traffic, traffic noise, and few zebra
crossings or traffic lights. However, the data to assume that a safer and pedestrian-friendly
road infrastructure would support people coping more successfully is thin. There is
further ground to believe that given that walking is a common activity that is o en
combined with listening to music or simply trying to listen to one’s own thoughts in a
self-reflective manner - it seems that one should not be in competition between having to
listen to road noise compared to trying to listen to one’s thoughts. One respondent from
Milan states: “Yes, I like walking if I can reach a place without getting public transport, I usually
685
do that.” It may therefore be assumed that riding a car goes somewhat against the
self-reflective nature of loneliness as driving a car may be an activity when one has to
function to do it. It may also be connected to the idea of potential social contact, that may
not happen in someone’s private car. However social contact may similarly not happen in
the metro, as one respondent from Milan explains: “I take the train which is closer to my place
but no, not really, sometimes yeah I saw someone maybe but anyway they were just looking at their
phone, does not look like a socialising environment. [...] I always moved from one place to another
with the subway so I didn't really have a map of the city….which I know really helps me...because
686
now since the pandemic I ride or walk everywhere and I start to feel like I own the city.”
Whether lonely people are walking, biking, taking public transport or driving a car
depends entirely on the practicability, and availability of these modes of transport but also
on hopes and expectations so that for example public transport can be more than a
functional means, as explained by the same respondent from Milan: “Yeah, I want to be a
psychologist so I am interested in other people. I look at other people, like on the metro, that is why
I don’t look at my phone and maybe I fantasise about their lives, where are they going, whom are
687
they talking to.” Thus, the metro can represent the theme of social connection or
observation, whereas riding a bike and the concomitant physical activity can be a source of
energy or motivation as well, even the motivation to go out at all as explained by one
respondent from Milan: “I mean when I am cycling I am always with my music. Yeah in a
different way when you walk you see things in a different way because you stop in a lot of places,
shops and... when you cycle your mission is to go somewhere specifically somewhere and maybe
you don't look around a lot. Or no sometimes it happens that I go through Duomo [Milan’s main
cathedral] to go through Porta Genova and in the morning I take some pictures. It is nice, it is a
different landscape than in the evening because in the morning you …. Duomo. You can see the
688
square in a different way.”

685
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
686
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
687
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
688
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 300

When walking around being lost in one’s thoughts or music, actual threats such as traffic
could be a problem. In some towns, such as in Bodegraven in the Netherlands, traffic
lights have for example be installed on the ground rather than across the street, for mobile
689
phone users, who tend to look down on their phone. Such an idea could be helpful to
allow people to better immerse into their experience. Additionally, more safety from cars
(not only on the roads) but when leaving a house entrance over the pavements for
pedestrians could be needed - mirrors as sometimes installed in Milan, so that a
pedestrian sees whether a car is coming or not as well as different materials on the ground
indicating potential safety threats to pedestrians can be a solution. The prevailing idea is
hereby to allow pedestrians to stroll mindlessly and simply enhance effective and peaceful
getting around. Some respondents had also very clear ideas of how to improve a space and
its traffic, so for example this one from Manchester: “I think they really unerusing that space
and I think the proof of that is that post-pandemic and things opening, it is completely closed off
to traffic, so many tables and chairs outside, so really in my view, they need to stop the traffic
permanently through there, no point of it interrupting what is happening on that space...it is really
690
sad that the professions don’t see them….very incompetent.” This particular respondent from
Manchester works as an architect, but the way she would refer to spaces allows to assume
that many of the ideas came to her less because of her architectural profession, although
this may have sparked them in the first place, but more because of her perception when
engaging with urban space feeling lonely. The issue of safety is therefore
multidimensional and plays out for different respondents in different ways.

Overcrowding
The next fundamental issue I want to address is that of overcrowding. Crowds can be
problems in at least two ways: Firstly, they have prevent others from accessing a space, as
it cannot be entered because it is too full and secondly, individuals feeling lonely may be
observed and especially socially anxious when many others are around, as illustrated by
this respondent from Milan: “[W]hen I go to the Cinema Beltrade and there are a lot of people
drinking and enjoying and I am with my bike, I feel like overwhelmed by the crowd of people, this
is exactly what you described when you are for your own and there are a lot of people, a group of
people and the attention on you even if maybe there is not any attention on you, you feel like

689
Rob Price. World Economic Forum. “This Dutch town has traffic lights on the ground because people are staring at their
phones”. (February 2017). (accessed: 06.05.2022),
https://www.weforum.org/agenda/2017/02/this-dutch-town-has-traffic-lights-on-the-floor-because-people-are-staring-their-phones
690
Interview. Manchester. (September 2021)
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691
overwhelmed.” Certainly, there is the possibility of a Flaneur-like strolling in the theme
derivé as this respondent from Milan explains: “[...] naturally I tend to come to this kind of
place to feel better...it depends on the situation of course because there are a lot of crowds and all
the kind of things but it is something more about the resonance this place has ...I mean I love
trams, I love urban life in that sense and especially if it is quite coloured like this neighbourhood is
692
because there is a lot of you know, things, that make me feel good.” Generally, overcrowding
provides quite a challenge to most of my respondents, turning spaces they would like
otherwise into non-spaces. That is not only a quantitative issue as this respondent from
Manchester displays: “Now, for sort of when it's a very busy street, and there's lots of people
walking down it. I feel like I find that quite uncomfortable when I'm feeling lonely. I'm not sure, I
think maybe, maybe I just don't like crowds very much in the front. If I'm feeling lonely, then I'm
probably already feeling a bit grumpy and more likely to, to not enjoy it. But I suppose it is because
I live really close to Old Trafford, the football stadium. So sometimes on a, on the days where
there's a big match on, there's loads of people out on the streets. And sometimes I feel like my
693
mood affects how I perceive it.” It may therefore depend on the respondent’s mood as well
as the reason and direction of the crowd - as stated earlier, a crowd of drunk men may be
challenging for a female individual, for example. It is interesting that even though one
could say that crowds and cities o en come hand in hand, people consciously look for
moments with fewer others around, yet still they would be interested in social contact and
interactions. However, many of my respondents may assume that the more others the
more unlikely such contact are, as in more intimate and less crowded spaces, more
sensitive and sincere conversations or interactions may occur. Then again, crowding is not
necessarily a consequence of urban living per sé, but o entimes the result of poor
planning in terms of management of urban space. Again more flexibility in possibilities of
adjustment of space may help.

Temporarily, crowds are also a risk during the pandemic, as illustrated by this respondent
from Milan: “No it is not that uncomfortable for me, crowded places, it is something new related
to Covid really but normally it would not...I probably would search for a place to stay that is not
694
too crowded.” The solution to overcrowding is not simple, as it has many causes, but
wider pavements, pedestrianised zones, less concentration of shops and bars on only a few
streets instead of a whole district and perhaps a better organisation and directing of
people with arrows or fences, such as done during the pandemic when in public spaces or

691
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
692
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
693
Interview. Manchester. December 2021)
694
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 302

buildings, people had to go a certain way so to not run into one another could a starting
point. Whereas crowds can be difficult to navigate, the lockdowns have put an additional
challenge, as this respondent from Milan further indicates: “You can start to go out and
things like this I go out for just do a walk and there were so many people that had the same idea
than me, that I had a panic attack, because there were too many people and I did not see people
during three months moving, jogging and running and I was like 'Oh my god' and I had to sit on a
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bench and breath.” Thus, it is important to move gradually between the different
restrictions of the lockdown, so that people can get used to fewer others or less individual
freedom little by little. The same goes for the opening of the restrictions alike.

Housing
Another fundamental challenge for people experiencing loneliness is that of housing
affordability and frankly speaking, flat design and quality. A person in Milan explains: “[...]
it affected how I was feeling, but because it is a very dark [flat] so I turned on light from morning to
night, sometimes I don’t even recognize it is like 2 in the evening or 5 in the evening… it is dark.
[these are] typical [flats] in Milan, we don’t have in Rome. Balconies inside the apartment so that
balconies are like square and balconies go all around and the view is not outside, on the street but
inside directed, an inner yard and that is the problem because the apartment in front of me is close
and between us there is a roof for the parking lot underneath us, so I don’t even see the
sky...because in Sweden was dark but I could open the window and see the sky, green, birds and was
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nice.” Thus, living in a too dark, too expensive, too old or too noisy flat can be a
challenge, the more so during the lockdown. I myself have noticed that my neighbours
from across the street were spending an increasing amount of time on the street during
the lockdown instead of in their flats, which seemed to be shared with many others,
leaving no interior private space. From personal experience, I know that there are
different understandings of what a flat should be, sometimes homeowners or real estate
agents market less livable spaces with the idea, that one ‘anyway’ spends not much time at
home and goes to work or is out with friends, so even though a space may be dark or
small, its price is highlighted as the most important feature. But even apart from
lockdown, it has to be kept in mind that the most o en mentioned place regarding coping
behaviour with loneliness is the private flat. This research provides evidence to put
importance on the home as a space to rest and be intimate with oneself or with close
others. One respondent from Manchester poignantly describes the relationship with the
flat and one’s own well-being and social network: “Exactly, yeah it is not about quality, it is

695
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
696
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
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about equity. What you have is not who you are and the stresses that come with that...well yeah I
have an apartment but I share it with 4 other people and 4 of them use all the hot water before I
can in the shower in the morning. The amount of microaggressions that build up in a social setting
is just unfathomable and that makes it lonelier. You want to stay in an [flat] in manchester...my
[flat] is twice as big and 800 pounds cheaper than where I lived in London and I had a nice one but
what was relative to my and my partner and that we chose to have a nice [flat] rather than going
out every Friday night, whereas here, you can. And then opens up social settings. I invite people to
my house because I am proud of it and two, I have got a room. Your social setting changes based
on what you earn, because I have had friends oh let's go out to Chelsea and I am like, Oh I cannot
guys, I am working. It is because I do not have the money and the city that is so based on social
status, if you admit that, that admits that you are worth less than others and that does affect your
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mentally and a lot of people may not think that way, but there is a lot of that.” Given that a
private flat could be understood as the physical extension of a person’s interior (or mental)
life, changes in the furniture of that flat can have a meaningful impact, as two respondents
from Milan show: “Yes. I moved from the bedroom to the living room. I bought new furniture but
the thing is I definitely changed whatever was going on in the house. I felt like, at this point, I will
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make it my kingdom. Plants and candles and everything and it became so much better.”
Another respondent from Milan similarly found comfort in rearranging her flat:
“Unfortunately I did not have so much money to change the furniture, but I changed the position,
so like a restyling of the house to change not only the position but also maybe..gi ing something to
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people and everything that could associate some difficult memories.”

Social Stigma
An essential element when it comes to coping with loneliness is the social stigma
prevailing of going about activities alone. Stigma changes the quality of the experience,
yet may even stop people from doing certain anything overall. Deconstructing the stigma
spatially seems to be a paradoxical task, given it is constructed socially, but I would like to
give a few examples of how the space can help based on the words of my respondent. First
one from Milan: “[I]f I had a restaurant, I would keep one big table for people who want to meet
other people. If you are with your family and want your own table...fine. But maybe you are a
tourist and on your own and you would like to talk to other people, sit at that table, someone else
will come. This is something I have on my mind yeah. [...] Because in Italy not so much but like in
Greece or other countries, many women are travelling alone for example and no problem and I

697
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
698
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
699
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 304

think it would be nice, whoever is willing to share can sit at this table, if you want to have privacy,
you are having a romantic dinner or something, you have your own, but why not? It would help
people. Just by sitting there, you know that you are willing to meet people.And not always alone.
You could be with your partner and sit at that table because you like to talk to people not only
when you are alone.Another respondent from Milan says the same: Like a social stigma, that
people think Oh, there is a lonely person...if he is going to a restaurant on his own, what a sad
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person.”

Different furniture, carpets, plants and alike can help make staying in certain spaces for
people alone more pleasant. Starbucks, for example, offers round tables, so that people
who come alone may feel less exposed than when placed compared a rectangular table that
701
one occupies alone. Outside, in a park, for example, a suitable solution may be to
provide different parts, like Kadriorg in Tallinn, which has an English, a French and a
Japanese part with different vegetation, so that these allow visitors to choose whether they
want to be exposed or hidden, on their own and with others. That can be helpful as some
respondents feel overly exposed when being outside, like this person from Manchester
explains: “Yeah, yeah. Always. Or a podcast. Or audio, but I think, yeah, I would feel if I was
walking around, and I didn't, I wasn't listening to something I think I would feel at best, a bit
bored. And at worst, sort of very exposed and aware of the fact that I'm walking around by
702
myself.” It has to be understood, how much social stigma has been socially or culturally
produced and again here, I would like to think that being social and together ensured
survival so that there is some evolutionary mistrust towards the one coming and staying
alone in a given public or semi-public space. On the other hand, in an increasingly
individualised world, one would expect that spaces are equipped for people alone or in
groups alike, which is not always the case. There is also a different kind of stigma, as
introduced by this respondent from Manchester: “Something I do struggle with, social stigma
and because I have got a good job that I enjoy and I do have a good network of friends where I am
703
almost like ‘Well, what have you got to be sad about?” This stigma concerns opening up
about loneliness when for others, such as friends or family, one seemingly has no
problems in life. It has been one of my theories for the explanation of why loneliness in
Italy could be a very painful experience.

700
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
701
Karen Blumenthal. “Grande Expectations: A Year in the Life of Starbucks' Stock.” (New York, Crown, 2008)
702
Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
703
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
 305

The alignment of what loneliness teaches through the perception of people experiencing
it with urban spaces is a manifold and complex approach. In this chapter, I have displayed
various ways in which Milan and Manchester hinder, support and could improve their
social and spatial infrastructure for lonely people. Many of these suggestions are aiming to
provide more safety, fewer and safer car traffic and prevent overcrowding and are trends
of urban development beyond loneliness. Additionally, the Covid-19 pandemic especially
has sparked changes in urban space that seem to fall in line with the results of my
research, so in Milan for example the idea of the 15-minute City or in Manchester the idea
of adding more green spaces and revitalising town centres of suburbs, so to have less
concentration on only one city centre. In this sense, this research provides additional
support for the enhancement of urban quality of life (as a general idea and concept) and
provides a starting point for a new understanding of the tasks planners face in urban
space. This new tendency is, for example, reflected in the attempt to establish the
(research) discipline of Neurourbanism, which aims at aligning emotional experiences with
the city: “We need to understand how cities and their inhabitants can be brought into a state of
healthy harmonisation. It is clear that city life both positively and negatively influences our psyche
and quality of life. We are stimulated by more educational and development opportunities, better
health infrastructure and the cultural richness of our cities. Every day, a growing number of people
are drawn to cities in search of these urban benefits. At the same time, city dwellers are exposed to
high levels of social stress, for example, when the experience of the city’s density and bustle
704
becomes a constant strain, or when the anonymity of city life creates feelings of loneliness.” If
this research was to be used as a design guideline for cities in the future, the outcome
would be a green, de-accelerated city within which residents find space and courage to
talk openly about their feelings and can shape their environments based upon them.

If I am truly thinking about loneliness and the city, in line with the idea of aligning urban
spaces with emotional experiences, it may be not necessary to refurbish or regenerate
705
parts of the city towards what is commonly called New Urbanism. I am mentioning all
these spaces because most of them are le over ones, not having yet been developed but
people have found use and value in them in their lives. The most famous of such examples
would be the Tempelhofer Feld in Berlin - initially le abandoned for the people;
meanwhile, the voices against any development are very loud. People seem to ‘need’
spaces that are less defined, not over-designed but possibilities to be adapted and

704
Interdisciplinary Forum Neurourbanism e.V. “Charta of Neurourbanism: Preamble.” (accessed: 06.05.2022),
https://neurourbanistik.de/en/charta-of-neurourbanism/preamble/
705
By that, I refer to any attempts that aim at transforming le over space into green spaces, cafés, playgrounds seemingly
orienting the public spaces towards more and higher quality social connection.
 306

706
changed, without the interference of the city government. Especially when feeling
lonely and/or socially isolated, respondents may prefer spaces that match their mood as
opposed to going to places that change or boost their mood. I have given the example of a
respondent enjoying walks along the motorway earlier, so I would like to give one example
from Milan about a road near the railway:

“Yes yes, I don't know why I used to come here especially. Probably, because it is a very isolated
place and I do have a connection with trains anyway...trains....always have been something I
looked for.

My question: Do you know where this is coming from?

Probably my hometown. Very small town but there is this railway and I took it a lot during my
youth...to the city, to university so I took a lot of trains. I have always written stuff with trains in
707
it.”

It is of course necessary to ensure safety in such spaces, especially when it concerns rather
isolated roads, but having the ability to find a space that reflects one’s mood and space
within that one can be relaxed and exist without any feeling of social pressure helpful. In
the same category may this statement from the same respondent fall: “I mean you come in
Bocciofila not to interact with the people, play Boccia but you can have an aperitivo...so that kind
of people that come in Bocciofila, it is probably you know, you can look around and you can see
people that are a bit relaxed, more relaxed, you know one of the first things I noticed but I am not
the only one, I talked with other people about that....is how people are dressed, you have the
sensation that people are very posh, the model the stuff and so it is not easy to find places, where
708
you can just relax in that sense and that way this place here is comfortable.” This respondent
describes this particular space as being a sincere and authentic space - such spaces that
are sometimes victims of urban development, as they cannot pay their rent anymore for
example. The loss of such spaces that are le untouched and undeveloped for many years
seems quite a risk to some people. One respondent from Milan describes such a project: “I
think I discovered something yesterday because I went with a friend of mine in a ‘food forest’ that
is close to the Airport Linate. It was an old place where you put garbage...so they put everything
away and they start planting fruit, vegetables, trees and so on and there is a small area and each

706
See for example: Ciarán Fahey, The Guardian. How Berliners refused to give Tempelhof airport over to developers.
(March 2015). (accessed: 30.05.2022).
https://www.theguardian.com/cities/2015/mar/05/how-berliners-refused-to-give-tempelhof-airport-over-to-developers
707
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
708
Ibid.
 307

one has to manage his small area so there are a lot of people, young, older, family, children and
everything is working ends so I would design more of this inside Milan also because this is a green
oasis… [...] The garbage was not on the hill but was with the….when you put an old fridge and you
put it on the field so they polished everything, they cleaned everything and now the field was able
709
to be cultivated.” Such community projects are of course desirable for many people, but it
o en seems as if in case of need for space, community gardens could be a quick victim of
more capitalistic-oriented ambitions - so, for example, also in my German hometown
Rostock. Additionally to be learned from such spaces, being in control or being able to
change or witness the change of a space can be perceived as pleasant, as a respondent
from Milan describes:

“One thing I love about this place is the fact that you mentioned is that it is not the same at all for
one week, there is always someone working or another graffiti.”

My statement: It is the first time I actually see someone doing something here.

Oh yeah? I have never been here without someone who was painting and I love just walking by
710
trying to listen to what they are saying without asking them anything, trying to catch someone…”

Thus, rather than arguing to reshape and rebuild the city, it may be relevant to at least
take the voices of lovely people into account. Only by doing that, one may be able to equip
cities for the challenges of the future. It is not necessarily that spatial changes will equip
cities in a better way for loneliness, but that the awareness of loneliness in mind and the
willingness to plan for it rather than holding the belief that architecture can cancel out
loneliness seems more reasonable to allow people to cope healthily. Generally, a vision of a
city that is pedestrian friendly, green, affordable and directed at providing individual and
social groups with pleasant experiences is the fundamental task here.

Natural Resources
The last idea resulting from this investigation is to support cities in better taking care of
their natural resources, such as the Naviglio Martesana in Milan for example or the canals
in Manchester. The Naviglio Martesana in Milan, as one of the water resources of the city,
may need larger promenades to avoid overcrowding:

“I live in the quartier of Crescenzago and just next to it we have a little river if I can say like this.

709
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
710
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 308

My question: Naviglio Martesana?

Esatto. So you can have a walk here and it is super cute so I decided to go here and normally it
does not have so many people and this day, it was crazy. It made me think: 'But this is my place.
711
Nobody go, nobody go'. Too [many] people.”

In Manchester, the problem with the canals has not been mentioned by my respondents
but there are a few learnings to mention regardless: The canals are very polluted and
secondly, o entimes there is no railing, leading most likely to the phenomenon of the
Manchester Canal Pusher, that, for the most part, include drunk people falling into the
canals but may also be a result of poor lighting and an actual murderer operating around
712
the canals. Therefore, there are obvious improvements that need to be followed by a new
understanding of what a city can be and what a city does to people experiencing different
emotional experiences. Such a vision has been put forward by my respondents as follows
in the next chapter.

Ideal Spaces

This segment extends the idea of the dissection of the urban built environment and
loneliness even further. It addresses hypothetically desired spaces, following the question
‘Imagine you would be an architect and Commune di Milano/The city council of Manchester
would give to you the possibility to build a public space where you would feel better when you feel
lonely, what would that space look like?’ Firstly, I want to mention that this is an interesting
question in a phenomenological sense, as it addresses something that does not exist based
on what exists - most o en, people answered this question based on what they are missing
in the current cityscape. In that sense, it is not what people experienced but what they
have not experienced but thought about, at the latest a er I have asked this question.
Therefore, it is directed at exploring the lifeworld of the participant, specifically less a
descriptive reality than already an interpretation. There is, however, another sociological
dimension to this question, that is based on the idea of an ideal type, as established by
Max Weber. “Ideal-types [...] allow for the use of verstehen, or the interpretive
713
understanding of the subjective motivations individuals attach to their actions.”
Swedberg mentions the following qualities of the ideal type according to the earlier works
of Weber: “It allows the social scientist to take a first step in the analysis of a topic that is

711
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
712
See for example: https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-manchester-45173888
713
Routledge. Social Theory. “Ideal-types: Max Weber”. (accessed: 08.05.2022). http://routledgesoc.com/category/profile-tags/ideal-types
 309

little known or explored. Or in Weber’s metaphor, the ideal type may function as an
‘emergency safe haven until one has learned to find one’s bearings while navigating the
immense sea of empirical facts’. It helps the social scientist to get a better handle on
empirical reality, and this is done primarily through a comparison of reality with the ideal
type. When such a comparison is made, the social scientist may also make discoveries.
Weber repeatedly says that the use of the ideal type is heuristic and that this constitutes
714715
the most important reason for using this kind of concept.” In this research, the
concept is applied to explore ideal coping spaces - essentially comparing existing spaces
with imaginary ones that are constructed based on the subjective needs of respondents. In
that sense, ideal types are phenomenological as Neubauer, Witkop and Varpio write: “The
process [of describing the ‘things themselves’ and finding essences] involves a blending of
what is really present with what is imagined as present from the vantage point of possible
716717
meanings; thus, a unity of the real and the idea.” Hence, in the following, a complete
list of mentioned ideal spaces, ordered by the coping behaviour, so as to display the
motivation or aim of people within these particular spaces.

714
Richard Swedberg. “How to use Max Weber’s ideal type in sociological analysis”. Journal of Classical Sociology Vol. 18. No. 3.
(2018): 184
715
Max Weber. “The “objectivity” of knowledge in social science and social policy” in Max Weber. “Collected
Methodological Essays”. (London, Routledge, 2012)
716
Brian Neubauer. Catherine Witkop and Lara Varpio. “How phenomenology can help us learn from the experiences of
others”. Perspectives on Medical Education. Vol. 8 Issue 2. (2019): 93
717
Clark Moustakas. “Phenomenological research methods”, (Thousand Oaks, SAGE, 1994) in Brian Neubauer. Catherine
Witkop and Lara Varpio. “How phenomenology can help us learn from the experiences of others”. Perspectives on Medical
Education. Vol. 8 Issue 2. (2019): 93
310
 311

Figure 44: Ideal Spaces sorted by coping behaviour

In some ways, perhaps exceeding the scope of this thesis, displaying spaces respondents
would find helpful and desirable, it invites to imagine not a space-by-space adjustment
but the re-imagination of the city as a whole. This could be termed the construction of an
ideal urban space for loneliness. By doing this, I would not only compare spaces of
imagination to existing ones but the relationship between these spaces and the general
atmosphere they may produce. However, this is a rather vague undertaking and I would
suggest that this could have been part of a more practice-oriented thesis, so that, for
example, participants could have more playfully imagined these spaces in a workshop or
on-site, where they can express their opinion and interpretation in a more
practice-oriented way. By doing this, respondents would have been put in a situation to
think about other people’s experiences with loneliness, which would have provided an
interesting debate rather than the common lonely-not-lonely type of conversation. That is,
however, solely a suggestion for another approach and an invitation to use my different
steps of analysis and focus on a more interactive manner of investigation, so for example
718
when researching loneliness amongst the youth.

In total, there are 42 ideal spaces with some respondents mentioning none and others two.
I have displayed the spaces in the existing coping behaviours, but it remains partly unclear

718
See for example James Duggan. ([no month] 2016). (accessed: 30.05.2022). https://www.lonelinessconnectsus.org/
 312

whether or not I have understood people’s intentionality behind using these spaces. It
would have been possible to display these spaces ordered along different lines, so for
example how different they are from existing spaces. Nevertheless, I hope that by ordering
them in my existing typology, I hope to display the motivation behind these spaces. To
read the figure above, I will give one example: When someone wishes for an art gallery for
social interaction, this means that two needs are combined: That is, the art itself -
presumably of interest to the person - and the need for social connection. Alongside is the
hope that by finding social connection by doing activities one enjoys, the social connection
will be with like-minded people. On the other hand, sometimes people have mentioned a
space without a clear intention, so, for example, a theatre bar, that is in the typology of
pro-active behaviour (PA). In this case, a respondent from Manchester was missing to play
theatre and the concomitant close and regular contact with others had stopped due to the
lockdown: “Because we were so used to being in that room, like literally 12 hours a day, five days
719
a week, so intensely and kind of went from that to absolutely nothing.”

However, two interesting learnings are worth mentioning a er having grouped the ideal
spaces: First, spaces for solitude and spaces for social connection are the most common ones
- they were also the most commonly mentioned approaches with the actual city spaces
used. Secondly, there are no spaces mentioned for the coping behaviour CM (Changing
one’s mindspace), emphasising the mostly mental coping nature of that behaviour. In that
sense, what people do the most is also what they imagine the most: Time spent alone
hoping to feel not lonely as well as time spent with others hoping for the same. Additionally,
people are aware of their needs to different extents, so some are aware that certain spaces
will attract certain people, for example, a space with games (board games, ping pong
tables) facilitates and supports social connection for some people rather easily. On the other
hand, some people are very people-oriented, so all they can think of is to make social
connections - not necessarily thinking of how, where and through which means. At the core
of the discrepancy between some people needing certain people and other people going to
certain spaces for that (so that the space comes first in their mind) is the intensity to
which loneliness can be felt, so that the more lonely someone is, the more
emotionally-driven the coping behaviour may be and the more someone may become
solely people-oriented, almost a tunnel vision. Therefore, I assume that the people that
actively think about the city will potentially cope better, as they figured out and learned
where to go to be happy alone or meet others. Imagining that someone just moved to
Milan and feels lonely, not knowing the right spaces (and it may be fair to say that

719
Interview. Manchester. (September 2021)
 313

knowing the right spaces is not very easy in Milan if many respondents feel the Milanese
people (and the spaces ‘these’ people use) are too snotty) can be very difficult. It can
therefore be suggested that the more someone gets to know the city, the better one can
cope. However, what can also be learned, or better should be emphasised, is that there is
not one type of space that is better than others to get to know people; rather: Spaces are as
subjective as the experience of loneliness, making some people wanting to get to know
others in a zoo, others imagining a new kind of bar, others wishing for a library for more
social connection. Whereas these spaces vary, other typologies such as EC (Environmental
changes and chances) seem similar across the respondents and are mostly directed at
relaxation - I need to go somewhere to relax and not feel the ‘burden’ of loneliness all the time.
This relaxing moment describes a moment without the burden of social stigma as well.
Nevertheless, the clarity and focus of people when it comes to addressing and solving
their ‘puzzle’ of loneliness varies. Some people looking for solitude without being able to
imagine where and how, while others know that precisely a change in a space or a change
in the atmosphere of a space (such as making it more accessible or changing the music)
will already be highly beneficial to them. Similar to grouping these spaces into coping
behaviours, it can therefore be seen how the different degrees of socio-spatial coping
awareness are present. Here are some example spaces sorted by socio-spatial awareness:

Another line that could divide all the mentioned spaces is the degree to which these
spaces serve individual needs: To smart work in nature or spaces to go when pregnant seem to
be quite individual, whereas spaces to go without social stigma, spaces to observe others or
spaces to go outside the office could serve a broader portion of people experiencing
loneliness. So if respondents, for example, and this has been a common wish, would
benefit from more quality green spaces, it can be assumed that this would be beneficial to
other ‘non-lonely’ people. When, however, spaces would be solely designed to serve people
who like to play games, it may be that others again feel excluded, as board games may not
be their activity of choice. Rather than arguing against spaces for games, there should be
no focus on either of these spaces and rather as many activities and types of spaces should
be integrated into a city that seeks to understand emotions also spatially.
 314

Figure 45: Ideal Spaces sorted by socio-spatial awareness

Additionally, these Ideal Spaces, as stated earlier, are only spaces or points on the map: It is
the act of interpretation that should free the spaces from being singular institutions but
apply their underlying ideas to the broader current urban landscape. Would not the
implementation of more greenery outside parks, more possibilities to observe others or an overview
(such as viewpoints) of the city make the city also for non-lonely people more diverse and
720
enjoyable? What people seem to need on a small scale could be applied to a broader scale
and a wider part of the population. The importance of that is at hand: One cannot think
about coping with loneliness as going somewhere, getting happy there, and taking that

720
The dichotomy of ‘lonely’ and ‘not-lonely’ has been used for this statement, but as such does not necessarily exist.
 315

happiness back home. This is too analogous to going to a hospital for treatment, whereas
loneliness itself is a much more wholesome and encompassing experience and thus needs
a wholesome approach to deal with. Therefore, if considering Ideal Spaces, shall be
considered in different ways: For their spatial qualities and atmospheres, for their
individual-social life but also for their actual essence or meaning in a lonely lifeworld.

Learning from Loneliness

Outcome of Loneliness

As stated earlier, the outcome of the coping behaviours is in some way or another
to not be lonely anymore. Earlier, I touched upon issues of social participation, social
cohesion, trust and well-being and suggested in what ways these topics may be relevant
when talking about the outcome of loneliness. I will also talk about habits respondents
have implemented in their life that helped them to get through this emotional experience,
which, albeit perhaps a common experience can be very painful. Here, I would like to
illustrate what the outcome of loneliness looked like for respondents. Interestingly, I could
rely on only a few respondents, who have been lonely before (the interview) and overcame
it, as most of the others are lonely right and the outcome may be unclear, yet perhaps
framed in their imagination. Here is a quote from a respondent in Milan, referring to
putting herself first and confronting her thoughts, so as to establish guidance for the
future: “To put myself in first place. Not to be around people to be around people but to choose
carefully. If it means to be alone for a while in order to let go of everything that I don't want, that's
alright. So I also felt that this year I was kind of avoiding those questions and it is necessary to
know yourself. To deal with yourself. To listen to the noises that are arising in the quiet for the
721
good and for the bad.” For another respondent from Milan, this meant being able to
finally move into a bought home and invite people: “What really changed were the evenings
because I was able to invite people if I wanted to. And also mainly during the first days to
decorate, unpack all the stuff that I had like to create a sort of balance between the area where I
wanted to place every single piece of furniture, this picture, that poster, things like that. So yeah it
was mainly that. I remember that I think on the second day that I was there. I invited two friends
from University because I remember because it was the X-Factors season finale so we got in and
we got take away pizza and we watched it. It probably was the first time that it felt like home. I
722
have friends over and I could do what I wanted to.”

721
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
722
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 316

It can be seen that not only, as I illustrate more in detail later, does the experience and
coping behaviour have to do with the cause for loneliness, but also the outcome.
Sometimes, the experience can be displayed as simply as that: I moved to another city (like
Milan) and have no place to stay yet permanently - That is why I feel le out from social
interactions because I have to change places all the time and go back to my parents place on the
weekend - Once I will move to my new place, I will be able to do all the things I want. It becomes
further clear how the outcome is connected to activity and actions, not necessarily only to
the wish to be happy. As such, a person le by the feeling of loneliness may not
necessarily become more active or social but will experience more contentment with these
activities. Another way of achieving such a state of contentment without having to
necessarily tackle all problems in one’s life actively is to change one’s mind. This can be
done in various ways. A respondent from Milan displays and tries to find acceptance
towards even the difficult moments of life: “[I]t was a gi that we had for our wedding but I
love that painting so I still have it in my house and it is not something that makes me feel bad, it is
something part of my life and I would never be the person I am now if I would not pass all of that
723
so I am...I don’t really feel like bad moments are just bad and so I accept them all.” Another
respondent from Manchester displays an imagination that may in the future, if still lonely,
may drag him out of society. “This may offer hope and comfort in the presence: maybe I have
not accepted yet in my brain...to move maybe 10 miles out of the city centre to live somewhere...not
now but in the coming years...to live somewhere more with a sense of community than the city
724
centre for my own well-being.” However, as Verduyn et. al. state: “The beginning of an
emotional episode can rather easily be identified as, in contrast to moods, emotions start
with the occurrence of an external or internal event (even though the start of the emotion
does not necessarily exactly coincide with the start of the event). The end of an emotional
episode corresponds with the moment that the intensity of the emotional response returns
to zero or to a baseline level, [...]. Determinants of emotion duration can be grouped into
three categories: (a) characteristics involving the event (stimulus) that elicited the emotion,
(b) characteristics of the emotion itself, and (c) characteristics involving the subject who
725726
experiences the emotion. [...].” Thus, emotions are subjective, their length is
depending on the previously mentioned variables and whether or not the emotional
experience, such as loneliness, has a further, however, less painful impact on one’s life

723
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
724
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
725
Philippe Verduyn, et. al. “Determinants of Emotion Duration and Underlying Psychological and Neural Mechanisms”.
Emotion Review Vol. 7. No. 4. (2015): 331
726
Nico Frijda. “The laws of emotion.” The American Psychologist. Vol. 43. No. 5. (1988) cited in Philippe Verduyn, et. al.
“Determinants of Emotion Duration and Underlying Psychological and Neural Mechanisms”. Emotion Review Vol. 7. No. 4.
(2015): 331
 317

depends similarly entirely on the person experiencing it. In summary, it can therefore be
said that the outcome of loneliness is nothing else than allowing the formerly lonely
person to live a daily narrative not influenced, guided or directed by the feeling. Only
some special cases amongst my respondents were cases where neither an outcome could
be envisioned or seen or they have dwelled so long in the emotion of loneliness that even
if loneliness would be gone, it would have still pushed the person to construct a daily life
completely around this emotional experience - whether or not the person is lonely. In this
case, one may speak of normalisation or integration of loneliness, as for example
expressed by this respondent from Milan applying the coping behaviour CM: “I was not
feeling the same as other people. I struggled to mingle a bit really deeply but sometimes, you know,
727
was not a problem. I was proud of it sometimes because I felt like it was my little...my thing.”

Learnings about Postmodern-Living-Conditions

At the beginning of this thesis, I have contextualised loneliness in the postmodern

condition, thinking through the different technological developments, lifestyles or modes
of behaviours that could have influenced its emergence, prevalence or relevance. Here, I
would like to come back to some of the topics, a er having laid out my findings in the
previous chapters. The first topic is loneliness and social media use. O en portrayed as
tightly interconnected, I did not find much evidence to support that statement and rather,
most respondents seemed very aware of its partly negative influence, like this one from
Milan: “[...] [A]s soon as I got in Milan a er a month, I deleted my Instagram account because I
was just stuck there when I was waiting for the metro an in the Metro and when feeling lonely, look
at my phone, Instagram and I saw other peoples pictures...like friends hanging out in Padova, it
just made me feel worse so I decided to delete. I did not like to share much of my life in Milan with
my friends because being out of Instagram, I just did not have a place to share. My friends just
share everything they do on Instagram and don’t talk to each other anymore on Whatsapp and that
728
contributed to making me feel a bit le out.” Here is another quote from a Milanese
respondent: “I kind of study... if I go into something, I kind of become obsessed with it so I put a
lot of thought into dating apps as a device and really I found out how they work, the algorithm and
all that kind of stuff. For work, I use social media so I know these, it is like the same, it is like being
729
on Facebook, there is an algorithm and it shows you to people and not to other people.” There is
of course the possibility that people think of their social media behaviour in more positive

727
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
728
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
729
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 318

terms than it actually is, but at least I could not find any evidence for that. This may allow
to assume that there could be a lot of shame connected to overly using social media and
being depending on it as a social ressource, as one knows it is not a healthy behaviour.
One may also feel that it is not helpful but may still be addicted to it in some or another.
Turkle asks poignantly: “Technology reshapes the landscape of our emotional lives, but is
730
it offering us the lives we want to lead?” In some ways, people may find pleasure in the
possibility to exercise control over one’s representation in online space: “[...] our online
lives are all about performance. We perform on social networks and direct the
731
performances of our avatars in virtual worlds.” However, I do want to make further
claims because the technological enhancement is exponential and rapid: It may therefore
be more obvious in a few years whether or not loneliness and social media or the
metaverse are positively or negatively entangled, beyond it being subjective.

The next postmodern condition or theme is that of coming to the city to find economic
success and the concomitant lifestyle of living alone or sharing a flat. In Milan, around
one third of respondents moved there to study, work or pursue a certain career. In
Manchester, these were much less. However, very few people actually lived alone whilst
most of them lived in a shared flat, with their family or parts of their family. This may be
more o en than not born out of necessity, as rent prices are high in both cities (a
statement true for many respondents but certainly subjective). Interestingly enough, some
of the people that lived with others in a flatshare found comfort, or even somewhat of a
replacement for their family with their flatmates, as this respondent from Milan states:
“[...] because I used to grow up in a town with people who had very different interests from mine
and also I felt very not understood by people around me but now actually in this situations, in this
current, you know, the place where I live is and the fact that my flatmates are similar to me, they
are close like a family and there are many people gathered around this, you know, this circle, this
circle, this little environment, that are very similar to me and they are very interesting people, they
are sensitive, they are people with something to say and with a sensitivity so I feel connected to
732
them and this is special.” In fact, this idea of moving together with others seems quite
dominant and can be found across respondents from Milan: “Living on my own I'd say that
sometimes I do feel lonely because I personally would not have liked to live on my own but it was
of the conditions that my parents gave me when I moved to Milan because they come... I grew up
in a very small village and so the mentality is a bit close-minded, so they were afraid that I would

730
Sherry Turkle, Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, (New York, Basic
Books, 2011): 17
731
Ibid: 26
732
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 319

share my apartment with somebody that would bring me down a bad road or something like
733
that.” Another respondent from Milan states: “[S]o when you are 18 and you move for the
first time, it was a very confronting experience, so now that I look back, I think I handled it pretty
well. I was in student accommodation, so a big building with small apartments and all students,
first years...so in that sense I think I moved from one stable place to the other, because it was full of
people in the same situation as I was but yeah, I had to put myself out there and make friends...so
734
how do you do that? When you are 18, you know?”

The private flat is the source of pain and pleasure alike - whereas living with the right
kind of people can be perceived as pleasurable, living with the wrong kind of people can
be troublesome, as the most intimate private spaces are contested as for this respondent in
Milan: “I moved to a flat for a temporary flat, like one month, two months because it was a room
from a girl that was travelling and it was a flat of Italian people, people from Milan so it was nice
because I could learn a lot about Italian culture because of them but I did not like the apartment
itself, because my room was directly in front of the living room, so and they were very noisy, so I
was not like used to that, I was used to privacy ...like for me noises are always a problem so if I am
living in a very noisy place, I don’t like it, I have been living for 3 years in a noisy apartment
because of the neighbours. [...] I like crowds but I also don't want to be part of that so please leave
me alone, I just want to listen to my music or I don’t know if I should watch my TV series or be like
735
in silence. I like both things but not all the time.” It is therefore the time now, to argue for
the importance of private living space: If the affordability of spaces puts people together
forcefully that would not choose to live together otherwise, this may lead to a high degree
of dissatisfaction and maybe a constant producer of loneliness, namely by sharing one’s
intimate space with others whose understanding of such spaces is completely different
from one’s own.

Next, I am interested in the perception of my respondents towards others, basically

investigating the anonymity and dangers felt in urban living. I have asked the question: If
a stranger comes up to you on the streets and says to you I feel so lonely, what should I do with my
life? Just a random stranger…What would you do to this person? The initial reaction to this
question was quite hesitant. Especially woman would react carefully, also depending on
the space and the time of the day, so for example in Milan:

733
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
734
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
735
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
 320

“Ehm OK, I think I would feel uncomfortable and yeah I feel a little bit insecure when a stranger
talks to me...maybe because we are in a big city and I am a woman so I am quite careful to don’t
talk to strangers and just to...so I would not proceed with the conversation too much.

My question: And if it is a stranger in your favourite neighbourhood bar?

Ok, if the situation is not making me insecure, yeah maybe I would talk and well maybe I would
not have things to suggest but would just say, welcome to my life and I feel the same and maybe I
736
could share the experience.”

It seems generally though, that respondents from Manchester have a different

conceptualization of strangers and the potential possibilities that come along with it:
“Like if the opportunity came about, then actually some of the most wonderful conversations when
I have been like been on a train or just about to miss it and was having a crap day anyway and was
crying, there has been times where actually strangers have been the most wonderful sources of
people, yeah. [...] I would not actively like to sit on a table with someone, like tell them everything
737
but if life had given me this person and a conversation sparked then.“ Another expression of
this constellation lies in the objectivity of the stranger: “He [the stranger] is not radically
committed to the unique ingredients and peculiar tendencies of the group, and therefore
approaches them with the specific attitude of ‘objectivity.’ But objectivity does not simply
involve passivity and detachment; it is a particular structure composed of distance and
738
nearness, indifference and involvement.” One could ask, what impacts and influences the
perception of strangers? At least in the two respective cities studied, some influences may
spring to mind: The United Kingdom has a generally higher level of ethnic diversity and
739
migration, making life next to strangers from other cultures necessary. It could further
have to do with a different type of social capital pursued, so for example, it may be that in
the United Kingdom interactions with strangers are always seen as potentially bridging
social capital whereas, in Italy, such capital may only be acquired over time by being
introduced to friends or friends. Further, it may have to do with a different place
attachment - in Milan, being outside of one’s neighbourhood could make others seem
more suspicious whereas in Manchester, place attachment is o en felt towards the whole

736
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
737
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
738
Georg Simmel. “The Stranger” in Kurt Wolff (Translated by Kurt Wolff)) “The Sociology of Georg Simmel.” (New York:
Free Press, 1950): 402
739
See for example: https://theconversation.com/which-countries-have-the-most-immigrants-113074
 321

city, so no matter where, a stranger could still be a Mancoonian and thus, sharing a part of
oneself’s identity.

Therefore, the last theme I would like to shed light on is looking at how people define
themselves or construct their identities. This goes back to constructing an identity via
spaces lived and visited or the people one knows. It became my interest precisely because
many of my respondents had moved abroad or within their respective countries, o en
more than once in pursuit of studies or careers. Such movements can affect people’s
identity and their well-being and could, for example, lead to a feeling of mental
homelessness, which again may lead to a sense of loneliness in the world: “Becoming a
citizen of the world is o en a lonely business. It is, in effect, as Diogenes said, a kind of
exile – from the comfort of local truths, from the warm nestling feeling of patriotism, from
740741
the absorbing drama of pride in oneself and one's own.” It is difficult to identify rigid
differences between the two sets of respondents. Some people define themselves by their
material achievements, others by their workplace, others by their projects and again
others by their friends. Interesting hereby is how the self-image is constructed. One
respondent from Milan for example was repeatedly stating that she has friends and that
these friendships are good, however, when I asked more closely, they did not seem to meet
very o en, even less frequently than she would have liked to. This may have been the
result of the lockdowns but overall, I had the impression that this person’s coping is to
change her mindspace, having idealised her friendships as a buffer. As - irrelevant to the
quantity or quality of friendships - a person may experience loneliness, having such
friends o en created a safe space within that one can feel lonely. It seems to be especially
difficult if people’s identification overlaps with their cause for loneliness, as these
paraphrased examples from Milan display: I am a mother now and struggle with it or I came
742
out towards my parents and they reacted badly. The closer and more intimate the people
that are the cause and root of a person’s loneliness, the more difficult and painful it seems
to be. The case of pregnancy is essentially one of the o en overlooked and most difficult
topics and that may be because the mother may feel that significant others around are
travelling, going out and seeing new places whereas one simply cannot partake in these
activities because of the baby (so at least in this instance), creating a feeling of being le

740
Irrene Skovhaard-Smith and Flemming Poulfelt. “Imagining ‘non-nationality’: Cosmopolitanism as a source of identity
and belonging.” Human Relations. Vol. 71. No. 2. (2017): 8
741
Martha Nussbaum. Boston Review. “Patriotism and Cosmopolitanism.” (October 1994). (accessed: 31.05.2022).
https://bostonreview.net/articles/martha-nussbaum-patriotism-and-cosmopolitanism/ cited in Irrene Skovhaard-Smith and
Flemming Poulfelt. “Imagining ‘non-nationality’: Cosmopolitanism as a source of identity and belonging.” Human Relations.
Vol. 71. No. 2. (2017): 8
742
Interviews. Milan. (February - March 2021)
 322

behind or missing out. Further, other people felt the need to construct their self-image by
doing ‘interesting things’, so for example, this respondent explains how in her social circle
in Milan there is the idea to do ‘cool’ things on the weekends: “The moment when I feel the
most lonely in Milan are weekends because you cannot stay in Milan during weekends. You have
to do something, you know, you have to go out, you have to travel and you have to move
somewhere cool and you have to do experiences… otherwise, you are not cool and so I used to feel
stressed about it ...I mean I used to think starting on Monday, Oh what am I going to do next
weekend you know not as you can just stay home and read a book because it's not enough you
know and so...now I don't feel that anymore because I mean there's not much you can do. But still,
I feel stressed because even within the pandemic you have to find a way to be cool within the
743
pandemic. Well, I don't know that it really never goes away.” This goes back to the idea that
one’s identity is constructed through the activities one does, thus no surprise that for
some people, the inability to do ‘interesting things’ provided a crack in their self-image. In
general, cosmopolitanism or in more simple terms, defining oneself as a citizen of the world
rather than a nation or a specific place may be related to a feeling of placelessness or
homelessness for that matter. One example of my preliminary interviews is particularly
striking, thus I want to paraphrase it here at length:

Anna grew up in a small village in central Italy. In her adolescence, she could not bond
with any other of the villagers. She did not want to talk about what they were talking
about and did not want to do what they were doing. She spent many of her days at
home, mostly reading. When she turned 18, she moved to a big Italian city to study.
A er completion, she moved further to other big cities in Europe. She wanted to have
more diversity, variety and simply more urban life around her - just the opposite of what
her village seemed to be. By chance, shortly before returning home to her village for
Christmas, she got in touch with one of her former high schoolmates. They eventually
started a romantic partnership. Both of them lived elsewhere, but when returning to the
village on vacation, they would do many things. They would meet the people she did not
want to meet and go to the places she did not want to go to when she was younger.
Anna, so to speak, connected to the other villagers. She liked the fact that her boyfriend
is from that particular village and would not want to have it any other way. She has
744
made her peace with the place.

743
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
744
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
 323

For some people, moving, finding friends, jobs and their narrative of loneliness are
inherently entangled and it seems as if a sense of loneliness is the driving force in their
lives - finding friends or simply a home. There is however no security, that when one stays
in one place, that one is necessarily socially and emotionally safer, as this respondent from
Manchester illustrates:

“I bought a flat here in 2016. I work in a recruitment job in a transportation company network
rail. Yeah, I guess I am just someone who stayed in the city and went to university...just still here.

My question: Have you ever thought about leaving?

Yes, I have been away, all over the place: Melbourne, London, Berlin...but Manchester is
home...like I say, I am not from too far away...I have been unlucky in the groups of friends I had in
745
my 20s, just disappeared to the other side of the planet.”

Thus, the person that moves around a lot may feel more socially isolated, as it can be
difficult to maintain friendships. The person not doing that may feel social loneliness, as
perhaps friendships don’t reflect one’s interests or one feels personally ‘stuck’ in life.
Either way, cosmopolitanism can be a coping behaviour in the sense that one can think
that one’s local problems are irrelevant and retreat to a broader view of oneself, as
explained by this respondent from Milan:

“My question: When did you know that you wanted to be a photographer?

Eh photography started when I started to travel at the same time, so probably it is pretty correlated
because I started to see new worlds, so photography is something about watching a little beyond
your nose, so photography in that kind of way saved my life because it brought me to go away,
746
started to work.”

Learnings about Loneliness and Urban loneliness

This chapter will discuss the learnings about loneliness in general and further
question again if there is a specific type of urban loneliness that can be defined. First of
all, this research has shown that loneliness itself is not only hard to define but very

745
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
746
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
 324

subjective. It is o en a transient reappearing experience, ranging from the academic

definition of social isolation - I have not enough people around me - to loneliness - I am
missing one other person or I do not have the right people around me. Sometimes respondents
would also define loneliness as being simply alone, not necessarily suffering from it or
even as being happy alone and enjoying it. Loneliness is a broad experience and the
definition used by some research may be the most appropriate, namely that “[...] loneliness
is the unpleasant feeling that results from perceiving a deficient relation between the self
747
and the outside world.” But even here, the degree of something being unpleasant varies
a lot - from being suicidal to feeling slightly unhappy alone. Opening up about loneliness
in such a way, it helps to deconstruct the social stigma. Especially once loneliness is freed
from the idea that it is an actual problem and rather a life experience everyone may come
across to some degree in their life. Further, one could take a contemporary stance on
loneliness, holding the opinion that the person who experiences it can resolve it on one’s
own (but still acknowledging the difficulty of doing so) by approaching the right others or
changing one’s mindspace, as many of my respondents have shown. In the words of
Jeremy Nobel, a lecturer at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health who teaches a
course on loneliness: “[Loneliness is] a subjective experience - part of what makes it so
hard to identify. If you’re on Mars and you have the most powerful telescope that can look
through walls, you can find all the isolated people on planet Earth. But you couldn’t find
748
the lonely people.’” I would suggest, as final learning about the idea of loneliness that
loneliness research, perhaps contrary to academic ways of thinking, should get beyond
classifications and categorisations and should be considered a multidisciplinary
phenomenon. It has to do with people and the outside world, more o en than not being
the interpretation of social interactions or relationships. Factors such as individual
character, economic status, social skills, psychological well-being, career, the spatial
environment and political situation (so also the pandemic) influence and shape the
experience. Therefore, it can be studied from various disciplines and invites for a
combination of more academic research across these disciplines. By having taken an
urban sociological standpoint, I hoped to have achieved three main outcomes: Display the
importance of spaces as a physical environment as well as socially produced, help to
destigmatize loneliness, away from a lack of individual skills towards a social
phenomenon and shedding light on the complexity of social interactions, individual
perceptions, mindsets of people coping with it by establishing a coping typology.

747
Luzia Heu, et. al. “Loneliness across cultures with different levels of social embeddedness: A qualitative study”. Personal
Relationships, Vol, 28 No. 2, (2021): 37
748
Jeremy Nobel cited in Jacob Sweet. Harvard Magazine. “The Loneliness Pandemic.”( January-February 2021). (accessed:
09.05.2022), https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2021/01/feature-the-loneliness-pandemic
 325

The next question is whether or not there is a specific type of urban loneliness or whether
or not urban spaces or urban life can be causes of loneliness. Again, quickly defining what
‘urban loneliness’ actually means: Loneliness in the city - as experienced in the city as a
socio-spatial container, or, the loneliness of a city, in the sense of because of the city.
Generally speaking, loneliness in urban spaces may be experienced differently than in
other socio-spatial environments. There is some data to presume that urban spaces can be
causes of loneliness, such as reflected in this statement of this respondent from
Manchester: “The promise of...if you move to London, it is the best city in the country, so much to
do, everyone is there...the loneliest place I have ever been to in my life...no one talks to you, people
749
get out of your way...it is so expensive to live there...it is ridiculous.” Thus, the difficulty of
surviving in an urban space that is fast-paced and not very affordable (for my respondents)
may not be the cause of loneliness but may provide additional difficulties to a healthy
social life. Certainly, the city itself is not a sociological being, so even if stating that urban
spaces may provide challenges for lonely people, it means that actually people or the
lifestyle in these particular spaces provide these challenges to an individual. However,
neither Manchester nor Milan have been defined as particularly lonely places, but there
are quotes from both cities from respondents indicating what may be the actual problem
with loneliness in urban spaces. Here is a quote from a Manchester respondent: “I think
leaving home when I was 16 coming to Manchester and this….and I think being quite young and in
a place where you are constantly surrounded by people but because you are away from
your...everything you know, I used to feel very lonely then but then I remember just exactly what I
was saying at the beginning. Being hit by this paradox of walking around Manchester city
centre...and like...being surrounded by people like….trying to make your way through but feeling
750
soulless as a result.” Similarly in Milan, such a quote can be found: “It means many many
things. What I mostly felt here in Milan was kind of like the same thing you said about Australia,
namely feeling alone in a big crowd, so if it's a big crowd you are feeling very alone and this is a
very desperate situation because it is even worse. I mean if you feel alone but you are in the
751
mountains and there are only 100 people it's OK to feel alone.”

This paradox may be one of the most dominant, namely to co-exist with many others, of
which some of them may be feeling similar but a certain impossibility to communicate
that and further not being able to always be with the right others. As sociologist Robert

749
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
750
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
751
Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
 326

Park once poignantly put it: “Not only transportation and communication, but the
segregation of the urban population tends to facilitate the mobility of the individual man.
The processes of segregation establish moral distances which make the city a mosaic of
little worlds which touch but do not interpenetrate. This makes it possible for individuals
to pass quickly and easily from one moral milieu to another and encourages the
fascinating but dangerous experiment of living at the same time in several different
752
contiguous, but otherwise widely separated worlds.” Nevertheless, as stated earlier,
some respondents did ‘interpenetrate’ other people’s life, mainly caused by their own
loneliness and urge to socially connect or be happy on their own, as illustrated by this
respondent from Manchester: “I play that game and it gives me a little boost, how I get someone
to have a surprised look on their face and how it causes a smile. That makes me laugh a little
bit...hahaha. It gives you a little boost. They might have not had anyone talk to them all day… and
753
now some random person smiles.” However, the continuous presence of others in a city may
pose a continuous challenge for people experiencing loneliness: One has to maintain a
degree of functionality when outside, such as one cannot just stop and sit on the
pavement, cry in public or display any other behaviour outside of social norms (although it
of course happens). Further, one is constantly reminded of social challenges by having so
many social opportunities around and perhaps no way to tackle or partake in them. In this
sense, urban loneliness may be a distinct experience of loneliness as opposed to rural
loneliness, as summarised by this respondent from Milan who chooses precisely the
change of scenery from urban to rural: “[...] because sometimes when I am feeling not really
well...when I was young, I just took my car going the mountain, up in the hill and sing loud it but
right now is not so possible. [...] Just because..well sometimes it is just making me feel better because
you are singing loud or sometimes you are just happy and you want to celebrate and sing loud too,
754
it depends.”

I will summarise that urban spaces are not per sé cause of loneliness but if they are, it is
because of many people and the perceived few interactional possibilities a person has. At
the same time, urban spaces are full of potential for different activities, but partaking in
these can be perceived as more difficult if already lonely. Apart from that, there are
challenges in urban space that perhaps people in rural spaces will come across less, such
as housing affordability, access to greenery family support and distance to family, noise,
overcrowding, light pollution and crime. These factors, however, may make coping with

752
Robert E. Park and Ernest W. Burgess. “The City- Suggestions for Investigation of Human Behavior in the Urban
Environment.” (Chicago, University of Chicago Press, 1925): 40-41
753
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
754
Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
 327

loneliness more difficult, but may rarely be the sole cause of loneliness - for example, only
if perhaps housing shortage or affordability leads to living in a highly socially deprived
neighbourhood or causes (mental) homelessness it may be related to loneliness. Whereas
living in a deprived neighbourhood is an overall different situation when it comes to social
capital or place attachment (if one is forced to dwell where but does not want to), living in
a personally desired neighbourhood has been for many people a buffer to loneliness or at
least important to their well-being. The case of a neighbourhood with unfavourable
socio-economic conditions has not been touched upon in this thesis, mainly because for
most of my respondents this was not relevant. Nevertheless, it is simple to imagine that
living in a city comes already with its own set of challenges and expectations; challenges
and expectations that still continue to exist when becoming lonely. Henceforth, simply
speaking, not everyone may have the time, space or energy to fully experience and explore
one’s loneliness. It could be said that loneliness that is explored and coped well with is
also a privileged experience (due to time and space necessary) but also a grounding
mechanism, due to it making one aware of the most basic needs such as happiness and
valuable social interactions. However, rather than providing an urban-rural divide for
loneliness research, it may be the suburbs that are the most interesting case. Here are two
quotes from respondents in Milan: “[S]o we lived in Nigeria, we lived in Ravenna, in Taranto
which is in Puglia and so we came back when I was 15 so I have mixed feelings about the city
because I did not grow up here and yeah, it was a bit of a shock to move from a city in southern
Italy to Milan and also back then, we were not even living in the city but outside in San Donato so
755
that made things were complicated...even to go to school.”

“Well first of all my neighbourhood it's my favourite place, meaning that when I arrived in Milan, I
was not living in this neighbourhood. I was living in a horrible place near Famagosta. So insecure.
Fights happening in the street. People smashing bottles in the faces, like really hard environments
but I didn't have the money to afford anywhere else so I stayed there for 2 years and then when I
finally had the better salary, I found an apartment here, [...], was the first apartment and was
shared with 2 other girls and then I fell in love with my life in his neighbourhood because it was
756
perfect like.”

Living in the suburbs may be mostly a problem itself because people actually wanted to
live in the city, meaning the city centre, thus they neither had the advantages of rural
(such as silence or being able to plant one’s own food) nor the advantages of urban living -

755
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
756
Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
 328

everything being in a walkable distance, for example. For the challenges of the future, it is,
therefore, useful to understand how urban spaces and loneliness play out together in any
given specific context: A sole stigmatisation of urban spaces as producers of high levels of
loneliness ignores the various coping behaviours and social possibilities people apply.
Similarly, it ignores people’s joy of living in urban spaces, o en, especially when coming
from a non-urban environment.

Hypotheses

First and foremost, hypotheses are statements based on my expectations,

experience and the literature. By assuming certain coping behaviours to be common (or
true), I pointed my attention towards these elements specifically as I consider them
relevant. There are fundamental and additional learnings about loneliness, in other words:
Some aspects may be true for loneliness generally, while others may be more specific in
my research context.

Loneliness enforces a change in the everyday narrative of a person

It may sound simple, but to acknowledge the fact that there is a social change or a change
in a person’s daily activities when feeling lonely is to acknowledge the importance to
study. For around two-thirds of all respondents, this hypothesis turns out to be true,
making a stronger case for the idea that if a person feels lonely, active changes have to be
implemented into someone’s life. For the remaining one-third of respondents, this
hypothesis may have been true in the past and they have learned to live with loneliness or
their formerly lonely narrative became their new (non-lonely) everyday life. This has been,
for example, addressed by my question: Have you acquired any habits or things that made you
feel better while you were lonely? Here is an example of a person from Milan that had
developed such habits: “Healthy habits….so trying every day a er lockdown to get myself out of
it and moving. I got really healthy...kind of I lost like 12 kilograms and was going to the gym like
every day in some capacity. I was really watching...getting healthy, eating right, looking a er
757
myself, felt great and then another lockdown hit and I all just went badly.”

The types of changes are of course manifold and already stated using various examples of
respondents, but here is a short summary: different habits such as walking, joining a club
(theatre; also for example volunteering), talking to different previously unknown people,
moving to another place, going to a different school, etc. Changes are usually substantial

757
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
 329

but sometimes as small as having daily calls with one’s parents. Further, changes are not
always narrative- or activity-based as this respondent from Milan indicates with the
example of frustration or anger which developed during lockdown but passed a erwards:
“[...] something has changed for sure I would say...yes, I would say some sentiments were stronger,
maybe I was more angry about some situation of social security, like seeing people that queue for
758
food or clothes.” Such expressions were common, indicating a change on the neurological
level - higher sensitivity, different perception of colours. This raises the importance of
making space for a person expressing loneliness to explore this emotion: Friends grant
social space and universities or companies may additionally grant time off. Generally,
however, that is difficult, as there is o entimes no clear starting point for loneliness. The
events to which loneliness is connected may be asynchronous to the start of its experience
759
of it. That may not necessarily be true, if it is connected to a major change such as a
breakup or a move to another city, like moving to Milan.

Change of narrative aims at harmonisation and integration of movement with emotion

Movement is, first of all, not to be taken literally as physical activity, but rather shall
illustrate actions done in life on a more general level. This is an interesting hypothesis and
has not been identified in the previous literature before. It fits the behaviour of around
half of the respondents, again across Manchester and Milan. It is reflected in the coping
behaviour of CM, so it o en includes the themes of intensification or nostalgia. Previously I
have given the example of the respondent walking along motorways listening to podcasts
or another respondent walking in an isolated street along the railway, but there are more
indications for that, for example, this respondent from Manchester: “Whereas now if I am
sitting on my rock in the park...I probably have to set a time on my phone in order to be back to
teach someone….so 5 minutes to walk there, 10-15 minutes on the rock and then I walk back and
that is what I do not like because it is so hard to just get wisped away, whereas in the pandemic I
could...sit by a tree for an hour and notice all of the things and people and then from that
noticing….I see the things I want to take pictures of but in 10 minutes for me, that is not enough
760
time to get wisped away in an environment.”

This hypothesis aims at experiencing the feeling of loneliness, understanding it,

immersing in it and finding an environment that supports that process or intensifies that
process. The simplest way to do that is to listen to music that may be melancholic as

758
Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
759
See for example: Philippe Verduyn, et. al. “Determinants of Emotion Duration and Underlying Psychological and Neural
Mechanisms”. Emotion Review Vol. 7. No. 4. (2015)
760
Interview. Manchester. (October 2021)
 330

opposed to more happy music that boosts the mood, reflected in the theme intensification.
Not always, however, is it aiming at intensifying, but similarly, self-reflection or
confrontation as themes are represented, as indicated by this respondent from Milan:

“I had no reason to feel lonely, so what I do then is, I look at all the reasons and I am like [...], why
do you feel lonely? And I start overanalyzing myself to try to find a solution but I just get more
frustrated because that is not how you do it with loneliness.

My question: Did you make notes at home?

Yeah, apart from doing my thesis, I wrote an analysis of my own mind, it is really weird because I
761
never felt that lonely before.”

Coping and outcome of loneliness depend and interact with cause for loneliness
This hypothesis can be broken down into two parts, namely that coping and outcome
directly or indirectly interact with the cause of loneliness. Directly would mean that a er a
breakup, a person tries to find another partner. Indirectly would mean that a er this
breakup, this person tries to be happy alone, find a new job or spends more time with
friends. For almost two third of respondents, their coping behaviour is directly dependent
on their cause of loneliness. For a little less than half of the respondents, their coping was
indirectly related to loneliness. Interestingly enough, for nine respondents, both are true,
so they coped in ways, directly and indirectly, related to loneliness. It is, however, not
always simple to determine whether it is a direct coping, such as having broken up with a
partner and then trying to find a new partner or whether it seems indirect but is actually
directly related, such as being unsatisfied with friendships and going on holidays to have
some relaxing time. This holiday time may be in the first place designed to get to know
new people and have new experiences, sometimes, however, respondents may themselves
not be so aware of it or their actual intentions. Again, here the complexity makes an
argument against a one-size-fits-all approach to attempt to mitigate loneliness, so, for
example, when only concentrating on providing more social connection through events or
by adding more and more common meeting spaces to residential units.

Public and Semi-Public spaces are the spaces in which perception and daily narrative are changed
the most significant

761
Preliminary Interview. Milan. (January 2020)
 331

For little more than half of the respondents, this hypothesis turned out true. This does not
mean that public and semi-public spaces are also the most used, it simply means that
loneliness changed their way of encountering or perceiving their surrounding
environment in public and semi-public spaces the most. One recurrent aspect of that told
to me is the perception of colours, used as a description of the generally changing
perception of the surroundings as explained by this respondent from Milan: “It changes
everything. Colours too, it changes everything. It is darker blue or cold, it is cold. And the people
are like empty boxes and not something to discover or it is something that can lead you to feel more
anxious and everything that feels light is a pressure. It really changes everything. or what else? It
changes me, of course, when I feel like this and I talk to people, I can understand the difference,
762
before the time....between...no I can understand the difference, stop. I can't say.”

A similar change in perception is described by one respondent from Manchester: “I think

for me...quite a physical level….whenever I go through bouts of sadness or loneliness, it is the
colours of things change and it is as if colours are a bit ‘meeh’ and then once I get back to a better
place, everything is much brighter and there is more clarity to colours but I do not know, I guess
you probably in times like that, you pick up more of the negative things happening around and get
763
a little more self-involved...like as in self-indulged of everything...it is not that fun to be around.”

One may question how such a spatial change in one’s perception evolves, since this idea
has been determining the thesis from the start, namely by putting my focus on these
spaces. As a general answer can serve the ideas of control and privacy. In public spaces, a
person encounters other people, traffic, weather and an infinite number of variables, most
of which can be controlled in private space. But similarly to privacy and control being
difficult to regulate, it is also in public and semi-public spaces where one seeks
opportunities for social encounters, finds relief, excitement and may have a stronger
change in one’ well-being. This, of course, is mostly true, because my respondents are
young adults, whose life alternates mainly between working or studying and going to meet
friends for various activities. Sufficient to say, studying loneliness in urban spaces means
to generally concentrating on different variables, such as social interactions, perceptions
and greenery; studying loneliness in private spaces solely can perhaps devote more
attention to furniture, food, music and so on.

Failed interactions can foster loneliness

762
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
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Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
 332

A little less than half of the respondents experienced how failed social interactions can
worsen their loneliness. Interactions fail for different reasons. Here are some examples
from Milan: “It is just now one year and a half that I know these people, they start to answer just
on the Group, on Whatsapp-Group. I sent a message, nobody answered me, I swear to you that it is
not a joke. I ask a question, but nobody answers me and now one year and a half have passed since
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I started to answer. So I think it is just a long process, you need to be really long....”

“[...] but I have...met up with a guy who was a friend of another friend and I have never really
spoken to on my own and he was like hitting on me on Instagram and he was asking me to meet up
at Piazza Arcobalena so I have agreed on him for an hour and a beer, smoke a little bit and so that
was it actually. He then...I invited him home but that was a very bad night because he is like I do
not know how to say it but he was very self-centred and narcissistic and he was speaking about
himself all night long so it was very very difficult to speak with him so we did not speak again later
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a er that night so this is a particular experience.”

An example from Manchester: “[...] because for example in my office, quite interesting the fact
that for many years...in the past 2 years...there were some new people that joined who formed
friendships but their common thing primarily is alcohol consumption and that is not really my
thing, so quite o en I will tag along but it is not something that will motivate me to spend time
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with people.”

Most interactions fail to be (perceived as) positive because the activity that is done is not
the right one and the person initially may have thought it is better than nothing, but it
turned out to make it worse or the other person involved is not the right match. From a
failed activity, in that sense, it may be more difficult to regain the power to start coping
again. It is, however, also true, that despite perhaps failed activities, one positive
encounter may make up for various failed ones, as explained by this respondent from
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Manchester: “You can just spend two hours talking to someone and that is a successful night.”

Scenario 1: Young adults being socially lonely attempt to become socially not-lonely
This scenario is true for around two-thirds of all respondents and may indicate that social
loneliness is the most common form and different from emotional loneliness or existential
loneliness - dependent on the classification. As described earlier, these types of loneliness

764
Interview. Milan. (March 2021)
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Interview. Milan. (April 2021)
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Interview. Manchester. (September 2021)
767
Interview. Manchester. (November 2021)
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are difficult to be maintained against the backdrop of the complexity and dynamic, as
loneliness is a transient state and different causes can be operating at the same time.
However, most people were lonely because they missed friends, the right friends and
o entimes because they moved or due to the lockdown. These people tried to substitute
that by trying to get to know new people or concentrating on achieving higher quality
friendships with a few others. Social loneliness may also be more common for young
adults, as one can imagine that before in school, most people had friends and later in life,
losing a partner or a family member can leave a stronger impact on a person.

Scenario 2: Young adults emotionally lonely may substitute loss with social relations
For a little less than half of all respondents, this may be true, however, most of them are
from Milan, meaning that the percentage of Manchester respondents dealing with this
type of loneliness is lower. This can have to do with Manchester respondents being more
goal-oriented, so that they know that what they are missing cannot be replaced by social
relations and if they do, these social relations are always a means to an end - I go out with
my friend just to get to know a significant other. There were a few cases generally of strong
emotional loneliness, but they were never related to having lost a person in one’s life nor
did it seem to pose a challenge that can never be overcome. Nevertheless, emotional
loneliness can be a truly painful experience, as this respondent from Milan indicated: “Yes,
just I remember I had also because I suffered from panic attacks in the past and I remember the
day a er I broke up I had a panic attack, so I have not felt them for a while and I had this episode
and it came back. I was ... I was figuring out if I could manage to work and eventually I told my
mom and I told her I am just getting a panic attack over this situation. But I also know how else
can de-trigger these panic attacks so it became well and I also could manage to work, but apart
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from that I did not have real physical symptoms of that part.”

Online may lead to offline

For around one-third of respondents, this was true. These respondents would use dating
apps, meet-up apps or Facebook-groups to get in touch with people, interact with them, set
up meetings and simply try to integrate and settle somewhere. One respondent from
Milan, however, told me an interesting thing she had realised about dating apps: “[...]
because I feel that many people, I do not know...something that happens to everybody, maybe to
me but I didn't realise that people want to manipulate you just to, you know, feel less lonely and so
this is an assumption, maybe they want to spend with somebody but they really don’t have any

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Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
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goal, any desire in particular so they tend to fool you sometimes, they...they do not behave very
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well, people on the app.”

Beyond this respondent portraying difficulties of using dating apps, some people seem to
simply use them to feel less lonely by chatting with someone, a real-life meeting may not
always have to be the preferred outcome. This, in itself, is an interesting social behaviour,
in that, a person takes enough satisfaction from an online encounter compared to an
offline one. For most people, however, the use of apps to get to know someone seemed
conscious and aimed at real-life interactions following the online encounter. Similarly
here, an existing mistrust (or suspicion) towards strangers would continue, as explained by
this respondent from Manchester: “Just an app called Meetup, the only thing I tried but I
found...I feel no one has any kind of anything in common. The issue I have had with them is that I
would rather jump in...I have had a look on Facebook and join an NFL-Group because they all got
NFL in common….what Meetup has...what I found with Meetup in particular, come to this because
yeah we are all on our own but let us not...let us just try and wing it and see how we get on and it is
a bit kind of….it is very kind of awkward, everyone is sort of like a lot of the flies from the first
half...who will be the leaders and find something you have in common and some people have been
going more than others and get a bit weird about new people going and...it is a strange one to be a
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part of.” In that regard, the use of apps or general social media to mitigate one’s
loneliness is a two-fold activity, between connecting hopes to apps and being frustrated by
them alike. One behaviour I did not encounter is people who got to know one another in
real-life but are mostly engaging with one another online, such as because of the
pandemic. It seemed that online was always a means to an end, not sufficient in itself as
means of communication. This may sound logical but is still an interesting finding:
Literature o en portrays people as victims of technological enhancement, fully immersed
in the experience. In this research, it may be connected to loneliness, but it seems,
however, that people act consciously within these apps, being willing to delete or
deactivate their accounts from time to time as a response mechanism to perceived overuse
or toxic relationship with certain apps.

Online may interfere with offline negatively

For less than ten respondents, this seems true. Here is a quote from a respondent in
Milan: “Definitely. The other thing I have noticed is mobile phone use, trying to connect
with….people that are addicted to using their phones and you don’t make connections with real

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Interview. Milan. (May 2021)
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Interview. Manchester. (December 2021)
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people because you are on your phone all the time but if I am with real people then I am not on my
771
phone.”

Another quote from a respondent from Milan portrays a similar problem: “I started kind of
knowing the map of the city and I think taking the subway every day is a very strange experience...I
do not really like it, because you are surrounded by all people and they all look sad or tired or are
on their phones. [...] they were just looking at their phone, it does not look like a socialising
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environment.”

Smartphones may be problematic (or could be called a hindering factor when coping), as
they stop people from looking around, possibly training people into believing that the best
way to form social connections is online and making some people (so my impression)
unlearn how to do it offline. For a person experiencing loneliness, this may be particularly
painful, as the need to engage with someone in real life and have positive and actual social
interactions is emphasised, thus everyone around on the phone in a social setting can be a
lost opportunity for a smile, small talk or deeper interaction. Generally, however, in what
ways online and offline are entangled depends entirely on the person, age, socialisation,
social resources available, individual characteristics and so on. Nevertheless, I have not
found much data to support the stereotype of social media or digital technology generally
makes the experience of loneliness worse.

PART V
Summary
Research Idea, Research Question, Theoretical Framework

Firstly, I invited the reader to understand loneliness as a dynamic process that has
certain durations, can change during the day, month or year, can reappear, can transform
into a positive outcome, can also become a depression or turn into a new (healthy)
narrative of one’s everyday life. Aiming to apply a sharp definitional border around these
terms does not reflect on the individual and social reality, as someone who may be
academically defined as socially isolated may feel lonely and someone who could be
academically defined as lonely may actually feel socially isolated. Thus the definition I
have relied on: to feel lonely is to experience an unpleasant feeling that results from

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Interview. Milan. (January 2021)
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Interview. Milan. (February 2021)
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perceiving a deficient relation between the self and the outside world. The relevant
terms for a preliminary understanding of loneliness are solitude, which is being happy and
content on one’s own, social isolation, which is actually having no one around and being
unhappy with that situation and aloneness, to describe simply and neutrally one’s (mainly
physical) aloneness. Nevertheless, such an understanding of loneliness is the outcome of
this research and not the beginning, thus, henceforth, I want to briefly summarise how
this research started and has been refined to its focus before I come back to the outcomes
and findings.

In this research, I investigated how young adults (18-34 years) that experience loneliness
cope with this loneliness, in other words: What do people actually do when they feel lonely
and to what degree does this emotional experience shape their lives? These young adults have
experienced loneliness for various reasons and are, within the range of being young, at
different stages of their respective lives and at different stages within the experience of
loneliness. Within these narratives, I was especially interested to understand how young
adults cope with loneliness, meaning which social and spatial resources they rely on,
activate and use. Within this study of the coping behaviour of young adults with
loneliness, I focused on the analysis of social and spatial resources, meaning which people
(or relationships) become relevant or less relevant and which public spaces or semi-public
spaces become relevant in the life of young adults when faced with loneliness. I have
asked: How do young adults cope socially and spatially in public and semi-public spaces within
the experience of loneliness? It could be said that looking at urban spaces through loneliness
provides one particular lense to grasp its totality - suddenly, some aspects such as social
interactions and the concomitant urban design that support and shapes such interactions
whereas other aspects, such as an economical grasp of the city retreats to the background.
At the latest during the pandemic, a focus on the emotional and mental aspects that shape
our everyday behaviour cannot be ignored, at least not in the disciplines of urban
sociology. That is, on one hand, a matter of the question of social inclusion - can it be
afforded to not take the experience of someone lonely into account when talking about the city? -
and on the other hand because there is a point to be made, that what an individual feels as
loneliness is actually shaped by social forces - as sociologist Keming Yang framed his
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book Loneliness - A Social Problem.

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Luzia Heu, et. al. “Loneliness across cultures with different levels of social embeddedness: A qualitative study”. Personal
Relationships, Vol, 28 No. 2, (2021): 37
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Keming Yang. “Loneliness - A Social Problem,.” (Abingdon, Routledge, 2019)
 337

However, to answer my research question I have dissected the experience of loneliness in

three parts: cause, consequence/experience/coping and outcome. Loneliness has causes,
meaning that it comes from certain events in one’s life. As said earlier, there are situations
when the cause is not clear because they may be rooted in childhood, the respondent may
have ignored the causes or is not willing to admit them, but generally speaking, some
event must have caused loneliness as otherwise, loneliness would not be seen as
experience or phenomenon but as a given character trait or everyday feeling. Following
this is the experience, identification, recognition or awareness of loneliness. Both the
experience of loneliness and the coping with loneliness happen in a certain socio-spatial
environment: One is not detached from the surroundings and one does not simply change
all socio-spatial surroundings when feeling lonely, so, for example, no one told me that he
or she had just changed all friends, partners, jobs and places. This phase varies from
person to person. For some people, it may take days, weeks or months to identify
themselves as lonely, as loneliness may show itself in the beginning as sadness or
frustration. At some point, the realisation comes that loneliness is the dominant feeling.
The feeling comes due to repeated social practices that yield the same result but were
connected to different individual expectations. If a person meets with the same group of
people to do the same thing, but comes home and feels not satisfied, somewhat not
expressed and reflected, this person could realise that the friends this person has may
make this person lonely. The overarching hypothesis has been that one has to make a
change in everyday life, as the current everyday life causes the o en painful feeling of
loneliness. By making this change, whether consciously or unconsciously, one attempt to
not be lonely anymore. Thus, coping with loneliness is about making small changes to
one’s life, first of all analysing one’s current place in life. Lastly, the outcome of loneliness:
Almost no literature can be found describing when, how or why someone stops feeling
lonely, so I will rely mostly on a hypothesis based on the assumption that loneliness is a
physically painful process and people do not want to be lonely, at least not for a prolonged
period of time. Simply speaking, the outcome of a period of loneliness is therefore, in
some way or other, not to feel lonely anymore.

To explore the experience of loneliness, I have utilised two theories, or concepts, namely
social capital and place attachment. Engaging with loneliness via social capital is to ask
about the composition of one’s social capital when becoming lonely. As stated earlier,
loneliness is per definition having people around, but not being satisfied with that
relationships. In social capital terms this could mean having only people to get by but
needing people to get ahead; or distrusting a close friend due to an event that occurred.
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Nevertheless, the point is that social capital is a scaffold when looking at the origins and
the outcomes of the process of loneliness (see Conceptual Model). To be precise:
Loneliness tells the person suffering something about his or her social and emotional
relations. One is thrown into a position to question friendships or other relationships with
regard to one’s character, needs and desires and may have lost a sense of connection to the
world as such. However, exploring the coping mechanisms of a lonely person is relatively
difficult with social capital theory alone and requires a concept that has a stronger
integrated individual component to it, that is, what an individual does in relation to the
social and spatial environment in certain situations. Place attachment theorists
concentrate on what binds people to certain spaces, investigating the individual or social
benefit they receive from it. Combining both schools of thought, I am able to analyse not
only the social network of a respondent by how this person attempts to change and shi
this network to the new needs imposed by the experience of loneliness but to point my
attention to the spatiality that comes alongside this network and surrounds it. It could, for
example, be stated that one’s attachment to the neighbourhood is higher with many
people to get by living there. On the other hand, place attachment might be lower for
many people to get ahead. Both combinations are reflected among my respondents, for
whom a common cause of loneliness has been to move to a new environment to work or
study and to find friends. This can mean not being able to access one’s social resources or
simply having not the desired resources in relation to one’s wants and needs. Social capital
is further a useful theory when engaging with the outcome of loneliness by asking what
has the course of being lonely changed in one’s social relations. Place attachment, on the
other hand, being originally a psychological concept, puts focus on the behavioural and
coping part of loneliness and highlights this part as resulting from personal preferences
for spaces (social and physical). Hence, with both theories in mind, the research question
can be posed as follows: With which social and spatial resources and for which reasons with
those, does a person feeling lonely attempt to not feel lonely?

Research Context

There are various reasons why this study is rooted in Milan. The first is that I am
based in Milan. Whilst this may seem obvious to then base one’s study there, it is relevant
for the reason that in this research, I need to be familiar with the city as such, meaning
that when respondents would explain to me aspects relevant to them or spaces important
to their loneliness, I wanted to be able to know what they are referring to by having been
to these spaces myself. This would allow for a more detailed focus during the interviews.
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The next relevant marker for having chosen Milan as a study place is that Milan has a
special role in the context of Italy. Milan is the city people from all over Italy - but
especially from the south - choose to live in order to work or study. Further, as explained
earlier, the prevalence of loneliness is relatively high in Italy in the European comparison
but contrary to that, not much research has been done investigating the Italian context.

For comparison, I have chosen the United Kingdom. The main reasons for that are that
there is a vast amount of research coming from the United Kingdom that deals with
loneliness and secondly to investigate how this research, which has been implemented
into the work of the government and social organisations, would influence or support the
experience of loneliness for people. However, the vast amount of research does not
necessarily indicate a high prevalence of loneliness in the United Kingdom, although it
remains of course unclear what would constitute a high prevalence in the first place.
Within the United Kingdom, I have concentrated on Manchester, where I was involved in
a network of researchers being engaged with the same or a similar research topic. The two
geographical, cultural and social contexts in this thesis will allow me, for example, to
compare the following elements (or variables) to one another:

Verify findings from Milan e.g. social stigma, coping behaviours

- Are new coping behaviours to be found in the Manchester context? Is the social stigma
similarly influencing coping behaviour to the same degree in the Manchester context?

Understanding how the amount of research and social organisations engaged with
loneliness influences the experience of people with it (to provide ground for
potential policies or charities) in the Milanese (and Italian) context
- How are people experiencing loneliness benefitting from the work of the government and
charities in terms of coping?

Work out how a different socio-spatial environment influences coping with

loneliness
- What elements can the two contexts mutually benefit from in terms of social events, urban
design, conceptualization and awareness of loneliness?

Methodology and Methods

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I have chosen my methodology based on the realisation that loneliness is a

dynamic process and the experience of it is entirely subjective and dependent on the
circumstances. Interpretative phenomenological analysis (IPA) allows me to investigate these
subjective descriptions of the experiences of loneliness, aiming to find common patterns -
or essences - amongst them. Whereas phenomenology, as a philosophical stance, has a long
history ranging from Kant to Husserl to Heidegger to Schütz and to Merleau-Ponty,
psychologist Jonathan Smith has worked through this history aiming at providing a tool
for researchers (mainly psychologists and sociologists) to use a phenomenological
standpoint in a more practical manner. Essentially, IPA has been used in health research
or in investigating certain emotional experiences. Here are the main cornerstones (or key
terms) of this methodology:

- Lifeworld: Experiences, social interactions, and perceptions that make up the world of an
individual
- Essence: The core meaning of an action
- Intentionality: Every action is directed towards an object; or towards achieving something
- Intersubjectivity: Denial of objective truth and focus on how meaning is created in social
interactions

By applying an IPA, I have therefore concentrated on capturing the experience of

respondents with the aim of finding common patterns across them - in this research
framed within the idea of establishing a coping typology. Further relevant in IPA is that
the researcher itself has not to bracket his or her experience (different from other
approaches), but is actively involved in the research process. This has been important to
me, as it connects precisely to the reason why this research has started, namely out of
intrinsic motivation to unravel an experience that is familiar to me. Here is a shortened
step-by-step list of my steps of analysis in this research:

- Transcription of the interview

- The close, line-by-line naive reading of each interview
- The identification of the emergent patterns (themes)
- The clustering and thematic development, into the final structure of themes (coping
behaviours)
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- The analysis of each of the identified themes and coping behaviours

The preferred method for doing this research is the Narrative Interview, a method of
qualitative data collection interested in (re-)constructing the story (or experience) of the
participant, instead of emphasising on a question-answer format. Such a method allows
me to be as close to the experience of the lonely person as possible. It was also relevant to
not overly structure or limit the respondents' answers and the respondents should decide
on their own to which degree they want to talk about the different stages. This method is
appropriate for use in studies where the goal is to understand how individuals discursively
construct their experiences. Thus overall, my interest lies in the descriptive reality of
respondents, precisely in understanding how they conceptualise their experience with
loneliness and essentially explore, in which lifeworld they found themselves.

Respondents

All respondents except one were found in Facebook-groups. In Milan, in other

Italian cities as well as in some cities abroad, a phenomenon called Social Streets (and
Community-Groups in Manchester) is in place. These are neighbourhood-bound
Facebook-groups within which I would post my research inquiry and commonly, potential
respondents would contact me based upon that. Before the interview, I would send them
the UCLA Loneliness Scale to fill, out so that I have more data (in this case quantitative
data) to analyse and further, already an idea of their experience prior to the interview.
Here is a brief overview of the demographics of my respondents from both cities:

Milan
Interviews in total: 31
By gender: 24 identified as females; 7 as males
Age: average age: 31 years; median: 29 years

Manchester
Interviews in total: 10
By gender: 6 identified as females; 4 as males
Age: average age: 30 years; median: 27 years
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Findings: Themes and Coping Behaviours

The main outcome of this research was to establish a coping behaviour typology,
meaning in what ways people cope with loneliness and what social and spatial resources
are utilised. Here is a list of all coping behaviours. Each of these has different themes
connected to it, thus I provide one example for each theme:

Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC)

Solitude: Having a break whilst commuting in the train
Self-Expression: Living in a music studio
Self-Reflection: Analysing one's own behaviour
Self-Acceptance: Feeling well in one's loneliness
Confrontation: Dealing with drugs problems because of daughter and girlfriend
Control: Walking a lot to feel alive and feel it is possible
Belief: Trusting in something higher than herself (like a spiritual being)

Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US)
Distraction; Going shopping with headphones
Derivé: Exploring new parts of the city and having new experiences
Perspective: Looking at the city from afar
Discovery: Being part of and experiencing community

Environmental changes and chances (EC)

Escapism: Listening to a podcasts and people talking
Change of Place: Getting an allotment to be allowed to go out during lockdown
Quick-Relief: Saying hello to strangers for a quick mood boost
Relax: Presence of one other person
Possibilities: Intellectualising the concept of emptiness as a start

Connecting and interacting with other people (CI)

Sharing: Sharing house with friends because proud of it
Social Connection: Engaging with others in the gym a er training
Guidance: Having an old work colleague that is like a father

Pro-Active Behaviour and learned loneliness (PA)

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Routine: Going to work even during lockdown

Maintenance: Going to supermarkets more o en than necessary to do something
Pro-Action: Equipping oneself with information about the city to have something to
talk about with people
Belonging: Moving to another city because people are friendlier
Belief: Trusting in something higher than herself (like a spiritual being)

Changing one's mindspace (CM)

Projection: Observing other people that seem happy
Imagination: Imagining a redesign of some spaces for better interaction
Intensification: Going to places (e.g. street next to railway) that fits one's mood
Nostalgia: Going back to his old room when his mother is not there

Refuge, Hide & Avoid (RHA)

Refuge: Not going out even though an old friend is nearby because of energy
Avoidance: Not overly using social media
Hide: To listen to music to be less aware of her footsteps

The coping behaviours can be analysed along various variables. To offer a few examples: Is it
done alone or with others? - Is it directed at loneliness or directed away from it? How influential is
the pandemic on the success of that coping behaviour? What spaces are used in what ways and what
are potential hindering elements (for example affordability, accessibility)? Further, coping
behaviours have each one theme that tends to be the most dominant: For example solitude -
trying to find happiness on one’s own and social connection - finding new social interactions
- are the most common themes throughout this thesis. Additionally, coping behaviours are
o en combined and therefore individual coping profiles can be established - what behaviours
does a person combine? All coping behaviours have social and spatial implications, meaning
spaces and activities. The coping behaviours are the main outcome and a useful tool, so to,
for example, understand the experience of loneliness in a given context when analysing the
city or to target and tailor events addressing loneliness by establishing coping profiles of
each participant.

Socio-Spatial Learnings about Milan and Manchester

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A er having established the coping typology, the respective cities in this research
can be analysed in a variety of ways. There are, for example, spaces where people find
social connection more easily than in others and the quality of these spaces can be analysed
by planners or policymakers. There are other spaces, where people feel more comfortable
going alone because of less social stigma and similarly, the qualities of these spaces can be
analysed. However, apart from certain spaces, qualities or atmospheres, there are
fundamental issues to be addressed when talking about loneliness and the city, that
influence the coping behaviour or ability to cope. One of them is that of safety: It seems
generally, that people feel safer in spaces with more others around and spaces that are well
taken care of. Perceived danger influences the streets people take and whether or not they
would go somewhere alone. When it comes to the built environment, it is easy to think
how generally more street lights and perhaps a better diversification of areas with bars
and shops, as opposed to only residential areas, could be helpful to establish a new sense
of safety. Both cities, Milan and Manchester, have areas that are more o en mentioned
concerning perceived safety than others, so for example some strips of Via Padova in
Milan and Moss Side in Manchester. Mostly, however, it is female respondents who fear the
danger of males, specifically the idea of physical violence towards them. This may reflect a
general problem in (Western) societies, but for my loneliness research, it means, for
example, that themes such as derivé or distraction are acted out differently - whilst males
may feel fine walking along a dark street at night, females may prefer to do this during
daytime or to concentrate their walking on certain areas, potentially enclosed indoor
spaces such as malls.

The next issue is the issue of traffic. Interestingly enough, traffic mainly in the form of
cars poses a hindering factor. Whereas many respondents mentioned walking and a few
respondents being on a train or a bicycle as pleasant activities they enjoy when they feel
lonely or generally have a lowered mood, none of the respondents mentioned going for a
car ride. However, the data to assume that a more safe and pedestrian-friendly road
infrastructure would support people coping more successfully is thin, there is however
ground to believe that given that walking is a common activity that is o en combined with
listening to music or simply trying to listen to one’s thoughts in a self-reflective manner -
it seems that one should not compete between having to listen to road noise compared to
trying to listen to one’s thoughts.

The next fundamental issue I want to address is overcrowding. Crowds can be problems in
at least two ways: First, they prevent others from accessing a place, such as a place that
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cannot be entered because it is too full and secondly, individuals feeling lonely may be
observed and especially socially anxious when many others are around. Temporarily,
crowds are also a risk during the pandemic.

The last fundamental challenge I want to mention here for people experiencing loneliness
is housing affordability and flat design. Living in a too dark, too expensive, too old, too
noisy flat can be a challenge, the more so during a lockdown. Even apart from the
lockdown, it has to be kept in mind that the most o en mentioned place with regard to
coping behaviour with loneliness is the private flat. This research, therefore, provides
evidence to put importance on the home as a place to rest and be intimate with oneself or
with close others.

Many of these suggestions so far as general trends of European cities, aiming to provide
more safety, less traffic and prevent overcrowding are trends of urban development
beyond loneliness. That all the previously mentioned issues - safety, traffic, overcrowding
and affordability - are to be found in many different ways in both cities and are, of course,
issues beyond loneliness. Here, further research can investigate in what ways exactly
lonely individuals may perceive crowds as threatening in which spatial scenarios and
similarly, what defines a crowd in the first place.

Learnings about Loneliness

To study loneliness, one has to define loneliness as shown earlier, but any
definition will not fit everyone. Researchers might not have different takes on the matter,
so some may exclude everyone whose definition of loneliness does not fit and others, like I
did in this research, may include everyone and rather rethink the concept of loneliness in
the first place. Loneliness is, therefore, a broad experience and the definition used in this
research turned out to provide a useful understanding of loneliness. Opening up the
concept of loneliness in such a way, it can help to deconstruct the social stigma. Especially
if one frees oneself from defining it as an actual problem and rather as a life experience
against which people seem to be able to buffer themselves in many ways.

Another question is whether or not there is a specific type of urban loneliness or whether
or not urban spaces can be causes of loneliness. Generally speaking, loneliness in urban
spaces is experienced differently. However, neither Manchester nor Milan have been
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defined as particularly lonely places, however, there are quotes from both cities from
respondents indicating what may be the actual issues with loneliness in urban spaces.

Finally, to answer my research question ‘How do young adults cope socially and spatially in
public and semi-public spaces within the experience of loneliness?’ I have established the coping
behaviour typology. Young adults in urban spaces cope in a variety of different ways. Each
of these ways depends on their resources, previous experiences, and characters. The
behaviour they apply invites to analyse not only the phenomenon of loneliness per sé but
also the respective cities in they are experiencing it in. Loneliness has been worked out as
a complex experience in that different social interactions, spatial atmospheres and types
of spaces serve different needs but come with their hindering elements that prevent
people from using them more o en, more successfully or overall. This research can
therefore inform policymakers and planners alike and provides ground for further
researchers to investigate and apply these coping behaviours to new geographical contexts
or to a different sample to gain an even more whole picture of the phenomenon. Further,
beyond the context of loneliness, this research has provided fruitful ground to investigate
the general matter of emotions as experienced in daily lives more thoroughly having the
aim, to derive an understanding of the city as a socio-spatial environment that is based on
how people experience it. The sensitivity and vulnerability that loneliness poses to many
people provide hereby one of the most direct and honest lenses.

Future of loneliness research

Limitations

In this last chapter, I would like to acknowledge some limits of this research before
I suggest future directions and developments of research on loneliness. Firstly, my
research is limited by language in the Milanese sample: I could only talk to respondents
speaking English. This determined the type of sample so that most of the respondents
were university-educated and/or had lived abroad. As I was unsure about the extent of that
limit, I started to interview people in English without a translator. I realised that I found
enough respondents and decided to keep English as the main language for the benefit of
being better immersed in the data.

The second limitation is given by the pandemic. It is beyond my understanding how the
pandemic influenced each and every one of my respondents compared to before the
 347

pandemic. Perhaps partly, respondents were not even sure what to make out of this
situation, mainly because it was still ongoing during most interviews and still is now. I
have of course asked specific questions related to the pandemic, but it is still complicated
to estimate how a respondent would have acted differently with different or no
restrictions in place.

Another obvious limit although not the focus of this research is how economic or political
dimensions shape the coping behaviour with loneliness. To what degree is coping hindered or
supported by financial abilities? To what degree is someone opening up about loneliness reflected
on the agenda of different political parties? Further, how do local initiatives and charities help
respondents? Whereas one could argue that these circumstances are inherently inscribed in
the coping behaviour, namely that the coping behaviours are always necessarily influenced
by one’s financial abilities, I have not asked specifically about these aspects and as such,
have not attempted to analyse them in more detail.

The next limitation is that I intended to do more Walking Interviews and Think- Aloud-Walks
to explore what people had been telling me more spatially. I am certain that more detailed
coping behaviour would have resulted from such an analysis and I should have probably
chosen to take fewer respondents overall into account and have longer interviews with
them. As a young researcher, it is however difficult to understand when there is a sense of
data saturation researched. More previously established expectations and categories could
help, however, that may be against the initial attempt to start off with general hypotheses
and an open mindset. This can be understood as less of a limitation than perhaps a
suggestion for future researchers.

Lastly, this study is limited to two geographical contexts, Milan and Manchester. Hence, it
may serve as a pilot study for other research contexts. However, I would suggest other
researchers not to ask what is similar or different in other contexts, but to focus on their
own contexts in depth. The main question should hereby be: What does it mean to be lonely
in that particular space and time? Whether the research focuses on an experience, like this
one, or on another aspect, foundational work has to be done first. If researchers were to
watch out for similarities and differences - or questioning what can one “context” learn
from another - then one may run the risk of overseeing the essences of the experience.
Further, I have chosen coping behaviour as my main outcome to provide a dataset that can
be worked with and most importantly, easily related to and understood. Nevertheless, this
study has been in some sense pioneering work, so I cannot exclude other ways to make
 348

understandable and visible the experience of loneliness. Here, one may imagine a different
context where many of my coping techniques are not applicable. Focus may then be on the
descriptive emotional experience, leaving space for the idea that loneliness feels different
for someone who feels mostly sad throughout the day compared to someone who feels
pushed and stressed by it.

Encouragement of New Methods and Methodologies

This research has shown the complexity of a phenomenon that most people
experiencing it may have an understanding of. Given this, or, especially because of this,
this research has been a difficult undertaking between remaining open and curious about
each narrative of loneliness whilst also establishing a typology future researchers can
work from. Such coping behaviours can now be tested of their rigidity and serve otherwise
new researchers in this field as a starting point in understanding this phenomenon from a
multifaceted point of view. Here, I would like to encourage researchers from a
non-architecturally-related field to take spaces as physical and social environments into
context and similarly architects to take social dynamics, expectations and loneliness
generally into the context of their planning and doing. In this sense, not only are many
new emerging research topics - as such I would count loneliness or at least the more
contemporary understanding of it - multidisciplinary by nature, but it is also that
researchers themselves, by researching it, become multidisciplinary in their work and
focus.

Methodological foundations that take the space around individual and social actions into
account are urgently needed. Such methodology would start with the analysis of one's
spatial environment on a detailed level, to have a clear understanding of the socio-spatial
conditions that someone acts within. Also a methodology that would allow studying
someone’s subconscious actions based on this person’s statement or the researchers'
interpretation can be helpful for the field of social sciences, without it necessarily being
drawn into the field of psychology. It could already be seen from many respondents - who
were in therapy - that they applied such thinking to their own life, asking for the reasons
and childhood relations of their actions, needs and desires.

Another type of methodology I want to put forward is the idea of doing aesthetical (or
visual) analysis. For example, the competition Eliminating loneliness by Design that I have
 349

775
mentioned could have been such a package of data for an aesthetical analysis.
Interestingly enough, I participated in the competition myself, prior to the thesis so I will
add my own project to the Appendix G. The project I was involved in envisioned that
various small-scale solutions may be a better support to cope with loneliness than one
extensive project or idea. In a short recap of this research, such an approach may actually
have found validation through the answers of respondents, however, rather than believing
spatial situations can solve loneliness, it was unclear to me that it was more about the
atmospheres and possibilities created by these spaces rather than the actual design as
well. By that, I mean scrutinising what can be seen on the spatial projects addressed to
tackle loneliness in terms of how loneliness is understood and materialistically addressed.
It could also mean using pictures and images during the interview, some of which the
respondent chooses to describe his or her feelings and return to the spatial scale
a erwards. Further, researchers having respondents write diaries, partake in respondents’
live for a longer period of time (than I have) or make sketches (in a more
workshop-oriented approach) could additionally be helpful ideas.

However, a new method is not the main and only thing as alongside, there has to be a new
methodology. I believe that by choosing an Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis, I was
able to design and structure my research in a way that I could acknowledge what has been
researched before in the field without it necessarily being influenced by my own research
from the start - rather: It served me as a toolset and framework of ideas I could relate my
own findings to. It may be a valuable approach, to develop methodologies based on how
emotional experiences are unfolding in one’s daily life specifically. This is beyond the
scope of this thesis, but such methodologies could be helpful to gain a quick
understanding of emerging situations: The influence of climate change in selected
spontaneously emerging case studies, the Covid-19-pandemic, the Russian war in Ukraine
- major events are quickly occurring, so that perhaps sometimes it is most useful to
concentrate on their direct impact and experience, being descriptive rather than
explanatory, so to capture the essences of the moment for the people involved in these
(mainly negative) events subjectively.

The emergence of New Research Areas

The list of new research areas evolving from this study is manifold. I would like to
suggest different research areas from different disciplines or standpoints. On one hand,

775
Bubble Futures, “Eliminate Loneliness Through Design”, 2019, https://bubblefutures.com/eliminate-loneliness/
 350

because these are research fields emerging from this thesis and on the other hand, a er
having done this research, I consider them relevant to grasp and contextualise loneliness
even more.

Sociology
- The experience of loneliness of different parts of the population (so far, only the most
prevalent parts of the studied e.g. young adults, old adults, migrants)
- How loneliness changes with economic success/downfall

Architecture
- Loneliness across different types of housing (co-housing, collective housing, mixed-use
developments)
- The influence of materials, walls or nature on perceived levels of exclusion, stress, loneliness

Social Policy/Political Science

- How my identified coping behaviours can be integrated into the practice
- How to address people experiencing everyday loneliness that cannot be counted as the most
vulnerable (as even for those, it is troublesome)

Psychology
- Self-view of a lonely person in change with social-spatial surroundings (e.g. feeling overly
vulnerable, visible or even confident)
- Overthinkers and thought-processes accompanying the experiencing of loneliness (including if
a person blames others or itself for the experience)

There are many resulting research areas and needs for new methodologies and methods. It
may be a desired approach, to stop trying to understand loneliness directly by asking what
it is, how it can be defined and rather understand the experience, the influences and
consequences of it. Rather than being intrinsic, loneliness can also be studied extrinsically
by asking what has to do with it and what shapes it experiences. These are not direct
suggestions but rather attempts to push towards new academic fields. As an example, the
idea of studying loneliness in urban spaces did not have much previous literature, thus it
was always a risk in terms of, will there actually be enough data to work with? However, I
followed my own experiences and intuition and I would thus encourage every new
researcher to do the same.
 351

However, one completely new and mostly unexplored field is that of the outcome of
loneliness that I touched upon in this thesis, meaning what actually happens if a person
does not feel anymore for a certain period of time. What has changed in this person’s life?
How is the experience transmitted to friends or family? How is the awareness of loneliness
changing one’s everyday life? Ironically, it is here that loneliness may actually have certain
characteristics and developments observed during the Covid-19-pandemic, namely that
people change their minds a er having been infected about the correct handling of the
disease or its seriousness. People having gone through a period of loneliness may know
much more about what it feels like to have overcome it. As stated earlier, they themselves
become to some degree experts on loneliness, which in itself may be one outcome, in other
words: To what degree can emotional experiences transform people having experienced
them into experts of them, so as to teach and inform others about them?

Application of Findings

It exceeds the scope of this thesis but it may be worth mentioning at the end that
existing social charities and organisations addressing loneliness may take my findings into
account. The main one I want to put forward here is that people experiencing loneliness
cope in different ways and not all of them are directed at more social connections.
Helping people to find distraction (via games, for example) or simply creating an
environment where people can find happiness without verbally engaging with one another
may be just as helpful to them as offering different ways of social exchange. In what way
this research can be taken onto agendas of organisations, urban planners or local
governments or institutions is up to the one being interested in loneliness. My only
suggestion is that pre-designed approaches to mitigate loneliness and quantitative
understandings of it may complicate the matter. Rather, flexible, dynamic and
subjective understandings - spatially and socially - may be more suitable if one wants
to take loneliness into account.

This counts for architectural practises that may want to take, not only loneliness but many
emotional experiences into account when planning a building or a district or even a city.
Learning from loneliness, stress, subjective well-being and others can help to align the
existing urban space closer to the human experience - that is sustainable and may
similarly be economically profitable: fewer healthcare costs for example. It is also in line
with an individualist take on the matter, where individuals can and do emotionally
self-regulate themselves by using their socio-spatial environment. If anything, research
 352

such as this has already during the research process been helpful to people who could
relate to loneliness as an experience. The many words of thankfulness and support I have
received during the research make me believe in the need for a more open-minded
approach to such research topics, thus again, thanks to everyone who encouraged this
research.
353
 354

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Figures

Figure 1: Statista Research Department, Statista, “What makes you feel lonely?”. (Italy, Statista, 2021).
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Figure 3: Google. Loneliness.

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Q_AUoAXoECAEQAw&biw=1852&bih=977&dpr=1

Figure 4: Socio-ecological model adapted from Tully et. al. (2013)

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Figure 6: Own Work. Conceptual Model of Loneliness with Theory

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Figure 8: European Social Survey. “Felt lonely, how o en past week? (2014)

Figure 9: European Social Survey. “Most people can be trusted or you can’t be too careful”. (2018)

Figure 10: European Social Survey. “Most people look for themselves or most of the time people are helpful”. (2018)

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Figure 12: Connor Ibbetson. YouGov. “Young Britons are more likely to experience greater levels of loneliness” (2019)

Figure 13: Office for National Statistics. Community Life Survey 2016-2017. “How o en respondents feel lonely by age
group,”. (2018).

Figure 14: Office for National Statistics. Community Life Survey 2016-2017. “Reported frequency of loneliness by living with
others or with others”. (2018)

Figure 15: Age UK. “Loneliness maps: What makes older people at risk of being lonely, and which neighbourhoods have the
highest risk?” Manchester Area. (2021).

Figure 16: Own Figure. Research Gaps and Connections

Figure 17: Steps of Analysis based on Smith et. al. (2009) and Chadwick et. al. (2016)

Figure 18: Example of listing of socio-spatial themes for one respondent from Milan

Figure 19: Example of individual-social profiles from Milan

Figure 20: Examples of general socio-spatial mentions for the city of Milan
 370

Figure 21: Examples of specific socio-spatial mentions for the city of Milan

Figure 22: Complete list of themes and coping behaviours

Figure 23: Thematic comparison of definitions of loneliness by respondents

Figure 24: Display of Loneliness-Symbols used by respondents

Figure 25: Respondent. Milan. SEO Sexting Veronica

Figure 26: Comparison of Own Coping Behaviours with Perlman and Peplau. (1981)

Figure 27: Comparison of Own Coping Behaviours with Rokach. (2001)

Figure 28: Comparison of Perlman and Peplau with Rokach

Figure 29: Coping Behaviours. Brennecke. (2022)

Figure 30: Final comparison of coping behaviours

Figure 31: Enjoying own company and tackling loneliness alone (EOC)

Figure 32: Using Spaces or Atmospheres actively for new experiences and perspectives (US)

Figure 33: Environmental changes and chances (EC)

Figure 34: Connecting and interacting with other people (CI)

Figure 35: Pro-active behaviour and learned loneliness (PA)

Figure 36: Changing one’s mindspace (CM)

Figure 37: Refuge, Hide & Avoid (RHA)

Figure 38: Similarities of Solitude and Social Connection

Figure 39: What is known about the coping behaviours in this research across the literature

Figure 40: Locating coping behaviours with hindering factors

Figure 41: Mapped coping behaviour of two respondents in NoLo, Milan

Figure 42: Mapped coping behaviour of two respondents in Porta Venezia, Milan

Figure 43: Mapped coping behaviour of two respondents in Manchester

Figure 44: Ideal Spaces sorted by coping behaviour

Figure 45: Ideal Spaces sorted by socio-spatial awareness

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Appendix

Appendix A - Full Narrative Interview Questions

Can you tell me some general facts about you? Age, Area, (Not), Living alone, Origin, Education

How do you think of yourself in general terms (adjectives…)?

You wrote to me because you have experienced loneliness. Tell me about it.

Encountering Loneliness
When did you feel lonely?
How would you define a good friend?
When does someone enter your comfort zone?
What does it mean to you to be lonely? Which emotions areInvolved?
Is loneliness always an unpleasant experience?
Do you remember the moment you realised it first that you feltLonely?
How long was this period?
When and where did you first not feel lonely anymore?
Please describe this period on a personal and emotional level. Did it result from a specific
other person?
How did it feel to be around friends, encounter strangers,acquaintances? Alternative: How
do you behave towards groups of people that you find interesting but you do not know
them?
What changes did occur in your life?
Has loneliness closed you in or opened you up?
Have you noticed a change in your perception/attention span or focus when doing
activities whilst feeling lonely?
Are you more or less focused on people when being lonely?
-> And spaces?

Locating Loneliness
What do you do when you are lonely?
How did your everyday life change in these periods of Loneliness?
-> Are there things you could not do?
 373

-> Are there things you could do better?

Do you try to dwell on those emotions or want to overcome it Immediately?

What role does your neighbourhood play in your everyday life when you feel lonely?
How far do you have to go out until you feel you are in an area out of “your area” when
lonely compared to non-lonely?
Were there places that mattered/started to matter in the process of loneliness?
Alternatively: Were there places of positive or negative attachment and what does produce
such attachment?
Did you feel the need to encounter new people, find a new Partner when feeling lonely?
How and where do you usually encounter new people when feeling lonely?
Do you go out alone when feeling lonely?
Do you look at other people when going out alone?
-> Do you enjoy that more when being lonely?
When feeling lonely, do you behave differently in public?
How have you coped/dealt with the feeling of loneliness?
Where did you spend most of your time when feeling lonely?
At which time of the day was the feeling the worst?
In which situation of the day was the feeling the worst?
Interaction and Encounter: How would you place these terms in your everyday life when
being lonely?
Do you observe other people and how does it feel to be observed when being lonely?
How would urban social life look if all people were lonely?
What are the main differences between feeling lonely and not feeling lonely?
Are there certain places that gained in importance for you while you were lonely?
How did you feel towards others that were out having fun?Did you have a favourite place
in the city/neighbourhood when feeling lonely? Alternative: What do these places mean to
you?
What is your least favourite aspect of the city/neighbourhood?
Have you acquired habits that you still use?
If you could have minecra ed your favourite public place: How would it look?-> Does it
resemble a place you know? -> How would it have helped you?
What was the type of images you took (if any) from the city whilst being lonely?
What was the type of music you listened to (in the city) whilst being lonely?

Coronavirus
 374

How did your everyday life look and change during the Pandemic?
Would you say the lockdown has only reinforced existing emotions for you or created new
ones as well?
What were you missing the most from urban life during Lockdown?
Describe the changes (if any) with your friends, neighbours, family and strangers?
How have your interactions changed since wearing a mask?
Have you spent more time online?
If you take selfies, do you do it with or without the mask? Did you spend a lot of time
imagining being somewhere or doing something when feeling lonely during lockdown?

Leaving Loneliness
Does this period still influence your everyday life?
How do you react if someone else tells you about his/her loneliness? Alternative: What
would you suggest them to do?
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Appendix B - Walking Interview Questions

In relation to places visited when being lonely when being there

In relation to places of everyday use a er being lonely when walking elsewhere

General

Now that we are walking, do you feel that when you walk around here alone feeling lonely,
it is something that can be seen or noticed by other people?
Why did you choose to walk/go here/there?
Do you usually go here alone or with friends, etc.?
Are there places you prefer to go alone and places you prefer to visit with friends?
What type of places do you like the most?
How o en does it happen to you that you are alone somewhere but you get to know other
people (strangers)?
How do you behave towards groups of people that you find interesting but you do not
know them?
How do you behave towards other individuals that you find interesting but you do not
know them?
Have you had moments when you watched into other people’s windows when walking
outside?
Is watching other people something you enjoyed more or less when being lonely?

Specific

What about street furniture? Do you frequently use benches, stairs or similar to hang out
outside? Have you used them more in the process of being lonely?
Do you look more up or down when being lonely?
How did you feel walking past cafés when being lonely?
Did light and colour of facades/grounds/walls play a role when you were lonely?
Was dirtiness or cleanliness of pavements important?
Do you feel more calm when being surrounded by greenery/scenery or when being
surrounded by many other people?
If you could have minecra ed your favourite public place: How would it look? Does it
resemble a place you know? If you could have minecra ed your favourite semi-public
place: How would it look? Does it resemble a place you know?
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Appendix C - Facebook-Post NoLo

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Appendix D - Facebook Post Text

So di averlo postato prima, quindi le mie scuse. Non voglio infastidire nessuno, solo offrire
la possibilità di partecipare a persone che potrebbero non aver letto il mio post. Spero che
questa sia l'ultima volta, dato che ho bisogno solo di un paio di partecipanti in più. Grazie
mille.

Ciao a tutti! Sono Tom dalla Germania e attualmente sto facendo il mio dottorato
all'Università di Milano-Bicocca. Sto facendo una ricerca sulla solitudine nello spazio
urbano nell'ambito della sociologia urbana. Più precisamente: Sto studiando come i
giovani italiani (età 18-34) che si sentono soli a Milano, affrontano la loro solitudine in
relazione alla città - Dove vanno? Cosa fanno? Com'è la percezione delle altre persone?
Cercano di parlare con gli sconosciuti? Quali routine e comportamenti si sviluppano
quando si è soli? Quali luoghi possono offrire sollievo e quali luoghi rafforzano ancora di
più la sensazione? Il caffè di quartiere sta diventando un'istituzione che offre aiuto? Ci
sono strade che fanno sentire insicuri? Certi luoghi sono evitati a causa di ricordi
negativi? Le persone sole guardano gli edifici, il cielo o la terra? L'ipotesi generale della
mia indagine è che l'esperienza della solitudine rende le persone consapevoli di una certa
discrepanza sociospaziale nella loro vita e richiede cambiamenti nel comportamento e
nella routine per superare la solitudine.

Cos'è la solitudine? La solitudine è diversa dal semplice essere o vivere da soli. La

solitudine è un'esperienza soggettiva estremamente dolorosa. Solitudine significa non
avere il contatto desiderato con gli altri, che si tratti di relazioni romantiche, amici o
famiglia. Le statistiche dell'Unione Europea hanno mostrato un'alta prevalenza di
solitudine auto-riferita tra gli italiani (giovani adulti e anziani), rendendo importante
capire come l'esperienza della solitudine si svolge all'interno della vita quotidiana. La
solitudine è diversa dal sentirsi isolati: Isolamento significa non avere nessuno o non avere
abbastanza persone, solitudine significa sentire di non appartenere agli altri ed essere
insoddisfatti delle relazioni: Questo può significare rotture, questo può significare non
fidarsi di un amico e questo può anche significare sentirsi economicamente abbandonati e
dover vivere in un quartiere che non rappresenta se stessi.

Sarebbe un piacere parlare con te ed esplorare la tua esperienza di solitudine. Un

inconveniente è che non parlo italiano, quindi l'intervista dovrà essere in inglese. Le
interviste online e offline vanno bene per me, a seconda dei vostri orari e certamente delle
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restrizioni generali in vigore. Aspetto con ansia i vostri messaggi e le vostre risposte:
Preferibilmente in privato su Facebook o alla mia mail: t.brennecke@campus.unimib.it
Grazie.
______
Hello everyone! I am Tom, 27 years old and from Germany. Currently I am a visiting
researcher at the Manchester Metropolitan University. I am researching on loneliness in
urban space (public and semi-public space) within the field of urban sociology. More
precisely: I am investigating how young British adults (age 18-34) feeling lonely in
Manchester, cope with that loneliness in relation to the city. Hereby, I would like to
understand how the everyday narrative changes in the course of experiencing loneliness
and understand different urban spaces through the thoughts and perceptions of people
feeling lonely.

If you have something to share about your experience of loneliness, I would appreciate you
getting in contact with me, so we can set up an interview: Relevant questions can be:
Where do you go when feeling lonely? What do you do? How is the perception of other
people? Do you try to talk to strangers? What routines and behaviours do you develop
while being lonely? Which places can offer relief, and which places enforce the feeling
even more? Is the neighbourhood pub becoming an institution that offers help? Are there
streets that make them feel insecure? Are certain places avoided because of negative
memories? Are you looking more at people; or at buildings; or in the sky; or on the
ground?

The general hypothesis of my investigation is that the experience of loneliness makes

people aware of a certain socio-spatial discrepancy in their life (I cannot trust my friends
any more; My neighbourhood does not represent me; I have just broken up with my
partner, I have just moved to Manchester and have not found friends, I have no energy to
start living the life I want, ...). As the initial experience of loneliness may o en be painful,
people experiencing it may adopt coping mechanisms. I am exploring these coping
mechanisms with a special focus on the spaces they entail to learn something about the
city, make new planning suggestions on a small neighbourhood-scale or support existing
urban projects, push loneliness into political agendas, hopefully de-stigmatizing it as
either a simple pathological mental health problem or just a mood swing.
What is loneliness? Loneliness is different from just being or living alone. Loneliness is
o en a painful subjective experience. It means not having the desired contact with others,
whether that concerns romantic relationships, friends or family. Statistics of the European
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Union (pre-Brexit) have shown a high prevalence of self-reported loneliness amongst many
countries in Europe and mainly concerning young adults and elderly people, making it
important to understand how the experience of loneliness unfolds within everyday life.
Loneliness is different from feeling isolated: Isolation means having no one or not enough
people, loneliness means to feel no belonging or difference from.

This research is a comparative research: I have interviewed people in Milan in the first
half of 2021 and will now interview respondents from Manchester. It would be my pleasure
to talk to you and explore your experience of being lonely. Online and offline interviews
are fine for me, depending on your schedules and certainly the overall restrictions in
place. If you have any further questions, feel absolutely free to drop me a message, I am
happy about every exchange about the topic. I am looking forward to your messages and
responses: Preferably in private on Facebook or to my mail:
t.brennecke@campus.unimib.it

Thanks.
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Appendix E - UCLA 20-item Loneliness Scale

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Appendix F - Steps of IPA-Analysis as suggested in the literature based on Smith et. al. (2009)
and Chadwick et. al. (2016)
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Appendix G - Own project for Eliminate Loneliness by Design-project - Small-scale solution for
Berlin, Alexanderplatz, (2019)
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