Did you ever feel like you have no right to feel tired, lonely, and anxious?

You cannot possibly be this

angry at the world or be sad for no reason. Why would a young person, privileged enough to be here
now, get drowned with so many problems when my only burden is to study and achieve my dreams?
Why would a child like me feel all these staggering emotions and hear all these subconscious negative
voices when my life seems generally lucky compared to kids my age?

That is how I invalidated myself before and until now. Now that I'm mature enough to admit that it's
okay to feel this way and not be okay. But imagine this thought process at thirteen years old when
you're clueless mind and naive instincts suddenly felt all these symptoms of mental health concerns.
And you're left with no one but a society filled with stigma and parents from a generation that didn't
believe in mental health disorders.

As young as pre-teen, I already knew something was not right. There was always this latent shadow that
followed me everywhere I went. I was a happy kid, they say. Some say I am light-hearted and perky, and
I feel genuinely that way, at least during the day. At night, that's when the latent shadow reveals its
identity to me. This shadow made me deal with nightmares and sleep paralysis at 11. This shadow
reprimands me in a way that belittles and makes me feel unworthy. I tried shooing it away, but the more
I attempted to escape it, the harder it grappled me. And so, I tried seeking help with the only authority
within my reach. And that's when reality hit me. I thought that telling them about my experiences would
prompt them to seek help from the right specialists, but instead, all I received were pieces of advice on
how I should be more prayerful and indifferent with these voices as if I could control their volume. The
shadow never left, yet I was never diagnosed with whatever I was dealing with.

According to WHO, one in seven 10-19-year-olds experiences a mental disorder, accounting for 13% of
the global disease burden in this age group. Depression, anxiety, and behavioral disorders are among
the leading causes of illness and disability among adolescents. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of
death among 15-29 year-olds. The consequences of failing to address adolescent mental health
conditions extend to adulthood, impairing physical and psychological health and limiting opportunities
to lead fulfilling lives as adults.

I know for a fact that I am not the only one who suffers from an undiagnosed shadow, and somehow, I
am still lucky that despite the darkness it brings, I still see the light of day every day. However, many kids
have already succumbed to it, and it has already become alarming.