Blackened Windows: From the War Zone Is My Bed

Author(s): Yasmine Beverly Rana

Source: TDR (1988-), Vol. 52, No. 1, War and Other Bad Shit (Spring, 2008), pp. 160-166
Published by: MIT Press
Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/25145495
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F/gtyre 1. "It's a little bit of humanity... these times with you." John-Andrew Morrison as Ash and Sheila Dabney as

Laila in Blackened Windows from The War Zone IsMy Bed at LaMama E.T.C in New York, October 2007, directed by
George Ferencz. (Photo by Mark Roussel)

Yasmine Beverly Rana is a playwright and drama therapist whose productions and readings have

appeared in the United States, Czech Republic, England, Greece, and South Africa, and in New
York at such theatres as HERE, La MaMa E. T.C., The Looking Glass Theatre (where she is an artistic

associate), Pulse Ensemble Theatre, and Second Stage Theatre. She is currently working on an

anthology of her plays. Past publications include The Alabama Literary Review, Blackbird,The
Best Stage Scenes and Best Women's Monologues series, and The Kenyon Review. Fellowships
include a Walter E. Dakin Fellowship from the Sewanee Writers Conference and a Paulette Goddard

Fellowship from NYLTs Tisch School of the Arts' Dramatic Writing Program, where she received
her BFA and MFA. She holds a New York State license as a Creative Arts Therapist, did additional

^ training at the International Trauma Studies Program, and has worked with refugees in Sarajevo
o and Tbilisi.

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Blackened Windows
from The War Zone IsMy Bed
Yasmine Beverly Rana

Introduction A black box set. An apartment bedroom with a

bed in the center and a small table to its

The War Zone IsMy Bed began in the summer night
side. A free-standing window, its panes
of 2000 in Sarajevo as a one-act two-character painted
black, is set prominently to the side of the bed,
scene, set in a bedroom.
Sarajevo apartment
near the door, in the stage-right/left wall.
The scene was between a man and woman: a
Blackened brushes and cans of paint are
journalist from the outside and his subject from paint
across the floor.
within. Politics was the landscape, but relation sprawled

ships?struggling
to survive the traumatic Time
affects of war and the exploitation of its
at the core. In response to wars
Day
victims?were
around the world, particularly the plight of Winter 2001
women in war, "Sarajevo" later evolved into (LAILA lies naked in bed,facing the audience.
The War Zone IsMy Bed. Scenes have been ASH appears asleep
next to LAILA. He is also

publicly read and performed in theatres and naked. LAILA risesfrom the bed, pulls a black
festivals in the Czech Republic, South Africa, sheath over her. She goes to the blackened window,
and in the US inNew York, San Diego, and takes a paintbrush, and proceeds to
further blacken
New Orleans. George Ferencz of La MaMa the window. ASH awakens.)
E.T.C. selected the play to be part of the
ASH: Is it day or night?
theatre's Experiments series, and
reading
concert
LAILA: I can't tell.
moderated talk-backs following each

reading. The War Zone IsMy Bed in its entirety (ASH looks at his watch on the small night table.)
had itsworld premiere inOctober and ASH: It's day.
November of 2007 inNew York at La MaMa
LAILA: If you say so.
E.T.C under Ferencz's direction as part of the
a festival ASH: What are you doing?
company's Experimenta! Festival,

celebrating 10 years of plays developed within LAILA: I was afraid we could be seen. I cannot
the theatre's series. Most of the actors seen. It's the
reading be law, remember?
in the La MaMa production had performed in
ASH: I can't see Come here.
anything.
the concert over the past two years:
readings
Alexander Alioto, Sheila Dabney, Jason LAILA: No.

Howard, John-Andrew Morrison, Candace ASH: Why?

Reid, and Jenne Vath.
LAILA: I have to do this first.
Characters
ASH: You can't see
really anything.
LAILA: A widow from Afghanistan in her mid LAILA: That's the way it's supposed to be.
to late thirties
ASH: over) You're not much.
(Turning missing
ASH: A male in his early twenties from
LAILA: Only the sun, any light, rain, gray,
Afghanistan blue.. .blue sky.. .black sky?but not
painted
Setting black sky?the real black sky.. .light.. .warmth...
faces.. those
Kabul, Afghanistan .eyes... Just things.

ASH: It's not that beautiful out there. 3)

o
CD
Co
TDR: The Drama Review 52:1 (T197) Spring 2008. ?2008
New York University and theMassachusetts Institute of Technology 161
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 :
;J|HBm| __^M^^^^^^^^^^^H^ fl^H JmIK

-. gg. -^^::"
b^b^bHbS^bBj** "B.JM^^^^^^^^^K^KKl^K^^Mfw:

Figure 2. John-Andrew Morrison and Sheila Dabney in Blackened Windows from The War Zone IsMy Bed
at LaMama E. T.C. in New York, October 2007, directed by George Ferencz. (Photo by Mark Roussel)

LAILA: Iwouldn't have any idea. ASH: Then I could be anyone.

ASH: Well, Iwould. And it'snot nice. LAILA: Just anyone? No.
LAILA: Nice or not, I don't care. But it's ASH: Why me?
something. LAILA: Because you're willing to take this risk,
ASH: Come here. too.

(LAILA hesitantly leaves her task and joins ASH (ASH is uneasy.)
in bed.) LAILA: I know you don't like to think about
ASH: You worry too much. it... but it's there. You're as if ever
just guilty,
found out. So I could ask you the same
LAILA: It's the truth.
question. Why do it?
ASH: Then why take the risk? Are you still
ASH: I like you. I like this. That's it.
missing your husband? Missing someone? Is
that it?Am I the someone? LAILA: If you like... "this"... then be married.

LAILA: He's dead. There's no point inmissing ASH: Why should I be?
him now. Imiss myself. LAILA: Your lifewould be easier.
ASH: And this brings you back? ASH: Not here.
LAILA: In a way...yes. A little bit. It's a little a life you
LAILA: You want can't have.
CtJ bit of these times with
C humanity... you. Where
ASH: Why can't I?
I can see not
only your body but mine, and
mine with yours. Where I can see myself, LAILA: Born in the wrong at the wrong
place
?
0) despite being in a blackened box.Where I can time.

0Q be touched and can touch, and feel, and know, ASH: You make it sound hopeless.
Q)
C that there's an escape, if for a short time,
only LAILA: Not for you, but forme, probably.
E it's there. I need this.
CO

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ASH: You could go out. ASH: Why doesn't your family help you more?
LAILA: Covered from head to toe, with a slit in LAILA: There's nothing
to
give, except our

the middle of my face to see where I'm going? male relatives who can
accompany me, I when
some who's need to go out. That's about all they can do for
Accompanied by teenage nephew
15 years younger than myself?who knows me. I'll take it, Those are the
only though. only
this?this?which tells him that he has power times I can leave. If someone can't take me out,
over me, age and power I feel like...I could go crazy, you know? Even
despite experience,
because of his gender. So we go out, but to so blurred out there. I can't
though everything's
where? To do what? see very
clearly under my burkah, but I'm
under the sun. I
ASH: So you do this. outside, Though really have
trouble seeing it, I can feel it. It's salvation, for
LAILA: I don't mind, do you? a moment.
ASH: Obviously not.
ASH: They don't know how you five?
LAILA: It didn't start out like this.
LAILA: They would kill me. You know that.
ASH: I don't think either one of us knows what
ASH: Maybe not.
to do, how to go about it. I mean, I don't think
we were to like each other.
LAILA: Itwasn't hard, doing this with men
supposed
who weren't my husband.
LAILA: Is that what we do now? Like each
other? Is that why we share my bed, in my
ASH: Why?
blackened home in the afternoons? Because LAILA: Because I always liked being with
we like each other? him, I think more than he liked being with me.
ASH: I thought so. I enjoyed it.

LAILA: It's funny... for sex is

ASH: More than you enjoyed him?
Taking money
my humanity.. .my slight attempt to hold onto LAILA: Isn't it one and the same?
whatever life I had in the past. But inmy past, ASH: I don't know.
I never would have of doing this. Isn't
thought
LAILA: And I enjoy you.
that funny?
ASH: I didn't ask.
ASH: No.
LAILA: But you wanted to know.
LAILA: Yes.
ASH: Why only me, now? You could have more
ASH: What?
money if you had others.
LAILA: I like you. I like you, and I like to eat,
and have heat, and hot water. Can't I like it all?

(ASHpulls LAILA closer to him.)

ASH: Yes.
LAILA: I think other women do...this. Don't

worry, it's something never of, left

spoken
unsaid. Not all of us widows, but, there are

some, I know.

ASH: I guess there are few alternatives.

LAILA: There are none. Well, except for one.

(Both are silent.)

LAILA: You know what Imean? CO
3. Before the truth. From Blackened
5*
ASH: I don't want to think about that. Figure
8CD
Windows. Upstairs at Vol de Nuit, New York City.
LAILA: But death's everywhere. CD
Directed by Caroline Reddick. Lanna Joffrey as Laila
ASH: Not in this bed. and Klae Moore as Ash. 6-10 July 2005. (Photo by
LAILA: (Close to him) No, not here. Emily Richardson)
%

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 LAILA: I don't want others. It started out as into the street, because you can't go by yourself.
to have a connection, a The new normal?that takes work from
necessity. Necessity your
connection with another so now,
physical being. Then you, the work you did before this,
it was to have food and heat and hot made to do...this. For the child I buried,
necessity you're
water... And now, it's necessity.. .to be... this would have been her normal, without ever
wanted.. one other person. different. I'm glad she
.by just knowing anything
doesn't have to know "this".
ASH: That's not much to ask for.

LAILA: What else can I ask for? (LAILA throws thepaintbrush down. ASH puts
his arms around her and her close to him.)
brings
ASH: If you were allowed to remarry...
LAILA: She was sick. It was after my husband
LAILA: (Rising from the bed topaint. ASH pulls
had died. And I couldn't find any male relative
his trousers on and her.) I'm not.
follows to take us out?but out where? We could only
ASH: But if you were... see a female but there weren't
physician, any,
LAILA: Iwould never expect anything from anymore. I someone, amale doctor,
thought
who would understand, who have would
you.
or would see us. So I
sympathy, regret, just took
ASH: Why?
her myself. That was the first time I had ever
LAILA: Because this is all that's meant to be. broken the law. They arrested me.
immediately
Afternoons, for you, love to I got beaten saw her anyway. I
waiting making up. No doctor
you, taking your money, and painting my it was for She was gone. And
guess nothing.
windows black. That's all this is. It will never after that day, I was gone. Except I'm
then,
be more than this moment! still here.

ASH: I want more. I wish...

ASH:

LAILA: I think you should have more. I think LAILA: So do I. (Picks up brush and resumes
you should find someone to marry. I wish too.
painting.)
ASH: I have. ASH: This place is freezing.
LAILA: How could you possibly know? LAILA: Is it? Iwouldn't know.
From our times in that bed? Because that's all
ASH: I hate saying this.. .but I think you need
we've had.
to see need more...to survive.
others...you
ASH: It's more than what others
(Angered) LAILA: Do I? I thought Iwas fine.
have had! You probably didn't even know your
him! ASH: You're not.
husband when you married

LAILA: You're I didn't. But that's what LAILA: Should I be?

right!
was and this isn't!
normal, (Beat)
ASH: Who says so? ASH: No.

LAILA: I do! Look atme! With this fucking LAILA: Then this is sufficient, right?
paintbrush inmy hand, painting the fucking ASH: Can I help you?
windows black! Is this normal? Is this some
at home? No, not
LMLA: No. It'smy job now.
thing you do because you're
a widow! You're not a woman! Is it normal for (ASH turns away and to dress.)
begins
me, for me, to take money
for who I was,from
LAILA: aren't you married?
Why
and other men for sex with them, so
you having
ASH: I don't want to be, at least not here. Not
I can feel another human next to me and
being
CO like this.
not starve at the same time? Is that normal?

No, it's not. But wait?in another way it is, LAILA: What if it'll always be like this?
because it's what's normal now. It's the new ASH: Then I'll never marry.
Qi normal. The normal that can't see if it's day or
QQ LAILA: What do you do? I never asked. Those
05 night! The normal that makes your windows
C kinds of questions don't mean anything
black and asks a to take you out
teenage boy
ECO anymore. So I never bothered.

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ASH: So why bother now? LAILA: At the football stadium. Iwalked
wanted to see! He heard the
LAILA: Because we like each other. And I past.. .my nephew
screams and it excited him! He wanted to see! I
suppose that's what who like each other
people
didn't. I never would have. He me.. .he
ask. Questions like those, normal dragged
questions,
arm... He was so fast, there
about normal life. pulled my going
were times my feet were off the ground. I even
ASH: And you ask me these normal questions fell once. But he wanted to see! So we saw! We
about a normal life as you blacken your saw the executions.. .of people
.people like me..
windows.
like...all of us! For then we saw And
nothing!
LAILA: It's funny, becom I saw you! I saw you in your uniform that
right? Everything's you!
here, isn't it? made look so stupid and so arrogant!
ing funny you
ASH: No. It's not. (LAILA refuses ASHs avoidance.) Your religious
uniform! Do you know how that sounds!
police
LAILA: Well, if I can laugh, so should you.
I saw you! You never never
turned away. You
ASH: I don't want to. never .you were
moved.. so
winced...you just
LAILA: are you so serious now? still... It never bothered you.
Why

ASH: I'm not. ASH: It did! It does.

LAILA: Did my normal question offend you? LAILA: (Quietly) Iwas hoping Iwas wrong.
That it wasn't you. That it was too
ASH: I'm not offended. maybe
blurry. But this wasn't. So many things outside
LAILA: continues
(Ignores AS'H's reaction, are, but this scene.. you wasn't. And now
.seeing
I was an teacher. I
painting.) English graduated I them!
know?you're
from university and everything. I
taught
ASH: I'm not.
secondary school: boys and girls. Can you
believe that? I even taught with other men. The LAILA: You're here to trap me! You're going
head teacher was a woman. Isn't that funny? to kill me, in there, with the others! That's why
you're here!
ASH: (Annoyed) No, it's not.
ASH: I'm not! (Puts his arms on her shoulders.)
LAILA: I told you. Now you could tell me. See,
I'm helping you!
Imade it easy for you, didn't I?
LAILA: (Pulls away.) How?
ASH: (Throws money on the bed.)That should
be enough. ASH: I keep them don't know.
away! They
I make sure this address is never on their list.
LAILA: I even told you about her and how she
died. LAILA: Their list?
ASH: (Walks toward I have to ASH: Of to search.
door.) go! places

LAILA: But I have another to tell LAILA: For what?

funny thing
you! ASH: Anything.
ASH: I'm not interested. LAILA: Anything that doesn't "fit"with this
LAILA: I know what you do! new that we've found ourselves in.
place

ASH: I don't do anything! ASH: I guess. I don't know. I never ask.

LAILA: We all do something! I do this, LAILA: No. Someone like you would never

remember? That's I do, now. We

what all have ask.

these silly jobs in this new normal ours.

place of ASH: (Guilty) It's just likewhat you're doing!
We do things that we would never.. .could
LAILA: I don't hang people in a football
never have done! Me.. .and you. 00
stadium.
(ASH is LAILA gets close to his ear and in 8CD
frozen. as...
ASH: (Desperately It's..
a loud searching) .just
whisper...) CD
morally wrong!
LAILA: I saw you.
LAILA: (Quietly) If you believe it's the same ?
(ASH turns away from her.) wrong, you're just like them.

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 (ASH is quiet and broken.He falls to
the bed.)
LAILA: (Reflective) But I don't
think you're like them. But they've
made us, and yes we can be made to
do things. (Sits besides him and
strokes his body, as Ash cries.) I never
believed that before. I never

thought anyone could make you do

I remember at school
anything.
I was scolded
once, by the teacher
for laughing. And I told the teacher
that this boy behind me was saying
these funny things andmaking me
laugh. And she said nobody could
make me do I chose to
anything.
Figure 4. "Iwant to help you." From Blackened Windows.
laugh. Is that the same as my
Resilience of the Spirit Human Rights Festival, San Diego,
choosing to work in this bed and California. Directed as Laila and Eric
to work by Bil Wright. Leti Carranza
your in that
choosing
Esquer as Ash. July-August 2007. (Photo by Becket Logan)
football stadium? Some people mav

say so. I'm still angry at you now,

LAILA: And what I do.. .and everything. It's
for doing that. Because I can't
because of everything.
understand how loving you can be in here with
me, as to how brutal you can be ASH: But need me.
opposed you
outside with them. But maybe we could become
LAILA: I need my husband back. I need my
different people. Maybe we could actually be
daughter back. I need my teaching back. I need
made to to do we never would
change, things to go outside and not worry
again by myself,
have done. To not know if it's day or night. To
about arrested for it. I need to be
getting
our windows black. Maybe we could be
paint allowed to see my arms and I walk
legs when
made to do anything, and think it's alright. outside. I need to see my face in a window's
ASH: It's not reflection. I need the to come
alright. sunlight through
LAILA: But we do it anyway. my windows. You see, I need a lot of things I
don't have. What's one more?
ASH: Because we have to.
(ASH hesitates. He takes his jacketfrom the bed
LAILA: Do we?
and puts it on. He heads to the door. He opens the
ASH: What's the other way? door and waits a beat.)

(LAILA risesfrom the bed.) LAILA: You'd better hurry. You wouldn't want

LAILA: You don't have to come back to be seen.

again.

ASH: But I want to. Please.. .1 swear to

you! (ASH chooses to leave and swiftly exits. LAILA
You could believe me! No one would have to takes her paintbrush. She stops. She throws the

know! I'd be punished just the same! So why brush on thefloor. She then goes to her bed, takes
would I take that risk? a sheet. She takes a bottle ofwaterfrom the night
table. She walks toward the blackened window.
LAILA: Why would you?
She wets the sheet with the bottle water and
of
CO ASH: (Desperately approaches Laila.) I wouldn't. to clean the blackened window to reveal
c proceeds
Iwant you. And Iwant to help you, so if this the She fervently removes the paint with
sunlight.
helps, let me come back. whatever she
strength has.)
LAILA: I don't want you to. END
Maybe

0) ASH: It's because of what I do.

c
ECO

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