University of Foreign Languages and International Studies

DIVISION OF ENGLISH FOR SPECIAL PURPOSES

Student’s name: Hoang Tran Thanh An

Chapter 4
Date of birth: 11/10/2005 Revising Business Message

Fill the gap with a suitable word or phrase. Use textbook as a reference.

Outcome 1: Make messages more concise by rejecting flabby expressions, long lead-ins, there
is/are and it is/was fillers, redundancies, and empty words.
• Revising: (1) make sure the message says what you mean and make you look good
• Proofreading: (2) involves correcting the grammar, spelling, punctuation, format
and mechanics
Revising for Conciseness:
• (3) Slashing flabby expressions: at this point in time (flabby) → now (concise)
• (4) Purging long lead-ins: This is to let you know that Monday is a holiday (wordy) →
Monday is a holiday (concise).
• (5) Dropping unnecessary There is/are and It is/was fillers: There are at least ten candidates
who applied for that position. → At least ten applicants applied for that position.
• (6) Rejecting redundancies: combined together → combined
• (7) Eliminating empty words: We are aware of the fact that many managers need assistance.
→We know many managers need assistance.

Outcome 2: Enhance clarity in business messages by keeping the ideas simple, dumping trite
business phrases, cutting clichés, shunning slang, rescuing buried verbs, restraining exuberance,
and choosing precise words.
• Keep it short and simple (KISS):
It would not be inadvisable for you to affix your signature at this point in time.
→ You should sign now.
• (8) Dumping trite business phrases:
pursuant to your request → as you request
• (9) Scraping clichés (worn phrases) and Shunning slang and buzzwords (informal words
with extravagant meanings)
Get on the horn with my admin. → Please call my administrative assistant.
• (10) Rescuing buried verbs that are needlessly converted to wordy noun expressions.
Please give serious consideration to a company intranet.
→ Please seriously consider a company intranet.
• (11) Restraining exuberance by using sparingly such words as very, definitely, quite, totally,
etc.
We are actually very certain that they totally agree with our proposal.
 • (12) Choosing clear, precise words::
He said that he thought they should help out with the report.
→ The team leader told Jason and Chris that they should write sections of the report.
Outcome 3: Identify proofreading problem areas, and apply smart techniques to catch mistakes in
both routine and complex documents.
(13) What to watch for in proofreading?
● Spelling
● Grammar
● Punctuation
● Names and numbers
● Format
(14) How to Proofread Routine Documents:
• Look for typos and misspelling
• Search for easily confused words
• Read for missing words and inconsistencies
(15) How to proofread complex documents:
• Print a copy, preferably double spaced.
• Set it aside and take a breather.
• Allow adequate time for careful proofing.
• Expect errors and congratulate yourself when you find them.
• Read the message at least twice–once for meaning and once for grammar and mechanics. •
Reduce your reading speed and focus on individual words.