REFLECTION

FOR 3 YEARS OF URSULIN'S YUNIORATE

Praise and thank you to God, who is good for His love bestowed upon me to this day. I give thanks to Sr.
Agatha Linda Candra, OSU, who accepted me as an Ursuline Sister, Sr. Monika Lita Hasanah, OSU the Ursuline
Provincial of the Indonesian Province and the councilors who have given me the Opportunity to reflect back my
vocation on three years. I realized that God's love is truly real to me through the Sisters involved in guiding me. Sr.
Reinilda Wuga, OSU as Junior Advisor, Sr. Madeleine Mail, OSU and the Sisters of the Fairview-Philippines
Community, Sr. Caroline Samiarsih, OSU and the Sisters of the Solo Community, Sr. Margaretha Widowati, OSU
and the Sisters of the Baturetno Community and the Ursuline Sisters who helped, support and pray for me to
remain faithful in my vocation. Do not forget I am grateful for the help of my parents and family and acquaintances
who also always support and pray for me.

Since my first year as an Ursuline Sister, I felt very grateful and joyful because I became part of the
Ursuline Sister to dedicate myself to God by imitating the spirit of St. Angela Merici. I was sent to the Fairview
Community - Philippines. I adjusted to the situation abroad with differences in language, culture and weather. I
realized God wanted my presence to see His work and emulate the spirit of the Sisters who sincerely served the
people especially the children of CBR. I was also guided by God to be diligent in learning English.

The second year, I was sent to the Baturetno Community until now. I started my mission in this community
with joy even though I sometimes experience challenges but I believe God is always with me. By experiencing all
of this, I also realize that God really loves me. He forms and enriches my personality by placing me in the
community he wants.

My commitment to grow and develop is courage, striving, faithful in prayer and letting go inherent attitude that
hinder my loyality to my vocation. The following is a reflection of the appreciation of Vows, Prayer Life,
Community Life and Work life that I experienced during 2017-2020.

Vows of Chastity

I live the vows of chastity by emulating the exemplary spirit of St. Angela is "above all that he must maintain the
purity of his heart and the clarity of his heart from every evil thought". I developed a relationship with God the
Source of Life and my strength. When upset with the Sisters, I did the discernment and processing to be able to
forgive. I continue to maintain good relationships with everyone. God makes my heart to share to Sr. Reinilda,
OSU and to my friends who I trusted so that I could cultivate them wisely. When I was in the Philippines, with my
classmate from another convent, I carried myself as I was. There was something wrong with sisters, I reminded
them of their actions and I always told Sr. Madeleine, OSU. Besides that, in Baturetno Community, I am firm in
myself not to be influenced by what the Sisters of the community say about prists and people they don't like. I
usually respond by expressing the virtues of the priest or people.
Vows of Poverty

I live freely saying something. For example, if I feel tired, I say I tired. Another example, there is a Sister who left
the house without saying goodbye, I reprimanded and reminded, although sometimes disliked but I learn from the
heart of Jesus who wants his heart hurt for others. In addition, I appreciate by learning to get out of my comfort
zone. Certainly not easy, it still requires struggle. Like welcoming guests who come to our community with various
purposes. At the beginning of coming to the Baturetno community I was disturbed by guests who always came to
the monastery and rang the bell. But day after day I learned from the example of the Sisters who welcome guests
with open hearts and joy. They want to share, visit or want to consult on family matters and even often invite the
sisters to pray in their homes. Simple things but really disturbing comfort, but I am grateful that with experiences I
can learn to get out of my comfort and open my heart for others.

Vows of Obedience

I obey the Holy Spirit which remind me to do good. I obey the rules of the eucharistic community, Brevir
prayer, adoration, recollection and community meeting. I obey Sister Caroline, OSU because every interview
always reminds me to keep a balance between prayer life, community life and work. This always purifies my heart
so that I do it without feeling forced. When I proceed with myself, I find obedience also requires discernment and
courage to express opinions, what important is for the community.

Life of Prayer

In my prayer life, I remain faithful in personal and community prayer. In personal prayer I feel the power of
God. I arange prayer schedules, some I do in the morning and some in the afternoon. Prayers I do such as
meditating on the scriptures, personal adoration, quiet prayer accompanied by instruments. As for the challenges I
experienced such as being saturate in praying. I overcome it by praying for the litany of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.
With repeated prayers I also refocused. I realize my weakness in prayer, sometimes my mind is always everywhere
and tends to enjoy it. I ask God's grace to help me. I was made aware by the Lord in the Eucharistic Celebration
through a homoli priest who said "Praying is not only when I need it anymore". Also, in my personal prayer the
Holy Spirit asked me to read the book "Drowning into the Mysteries of Christ". Pray, first to dwell in Jesus and let
Jesus dwell in me. When we love someone, we enjoy living with them, right? This sentence really made me aware of
being faithful and truly present in prayer.

Together with the community, I joined the brevir prayer, Eucharist, recollection and triduum. Prayer
together, I try to adjust to the sisters. Sing a psalm with easy notes and a rather low voice so that all the sisters can
praise God. In addition, the experience of annual retreats and junior meetings really helped develop my relationship
with God and others. Likewise, with the spiritual guidance I received from Sr. Madeleine while in the Philippines,
Sr. Caroline and Sr. Wido really helped my personal process of staying faithful in prayer, spiritual reading and
discernment.

Community Life
 In Community Life, I feel it is not easy because of the differences that each Sister has. I learned to accept
the sisters according to their strengths and weaknesses. Like when in the Philippines I was cooking turn with Sr.
Christina, I try to keep working with her, go shopping, cook and understand her spontaneous character.

In the Baturetno Community, the first month I was in this community, I felt confused and concerned about this
community. I overcome by starting with myself who must change. I began to dare to reveal things that hinder
community harmony, such as telling community members to lay people, mutual suspicion in finances and
relationships. Even though I was not liked, I'm ready to accept the consequences. I only pray and surrender to the
power of God before the Blessed Sacrament and share with Sr. Reinilda, OSU and Sr. Caroline, OSU. With a
community evaluation, I reveal what I experienced and my hopes as a community member. This experience was
truly a joy for me, when I saw the sisters begin to communicate with each other. Also, the experience of
misunderstanding with Sr. Wido, I learned to forgive her with a long process, until eight months I could forgive her
with my heart.

In living together, I am made aware to always communicate, dare to express something true, sacrifice,
struggle to accept differences, forgive and love my fellow sisters as they are exemplified by St. Angela

Apostolic Life

Apostleship in the Philippines, I felt happy accompanying CBR children, I learned to respect them for what
they are as unique individuals. Although I haven't been able to do much, I did simple things like, taught them to
read, wrote and played with them. I also listened to sharing their parents' struggles both at Fairview, in Davao and
surrounding areas. Learning English, the challenge that I experienced was the fear of speaking English because I
was still traumatized when I had not graduated English from high school. But the Spirit of the Lord changed my
heart and mind so that I was freed from fear. Since then, I have received confirmation from God, to love the task I
face. I can love mission and love learning English. I am grateful that I learned to adapt to the new community, the
new situation, new friends (classmates) who came from various countries.

For more than two years I served in Baturetno, I taught religion at SD Kanisius Baturetno. The first, I was
not confident to teach because I had no teaching basis. But I believe God will give me the grace I need. I overcome
my fears, by wanting to learn and try, like doing preparations at night, learning from Sr. Diah, OSU and the
teachers. So, that feeling of fear began to disappear so I learned to be more creative and even entrusted to lead
worship and recollection for both students and teachers. From July 2019 to the present, I Pastoral in Kanisius
Jamprit Elementary School and Kanisius Watuagung Elementary School once a week. This experience really
strengthened my faith in giving myself to be generous to people who really need it.

In the community, I do housework such as sweeping, shopping and cooking with pleasure. The task that I do as a
community treasurer, doing this task is not easy. When I learned to make financial report, I was mistaken twice and
then reminded and explained again by Sr. Imelda, OSU.

In the parish, I was entrusted to assist the acolyte. I face is not easy, I work with a layman who according to people,
she is difficult to work with others. I started by getting to know her personally and then I talked to and was finally
able to work together even though it requires patience.
In addition, I feel happy and joy to be able to fostering children’s faith every Tuesday. The service that I do is truly
uplifting and encouraging me to contribute my heart to the responsible congregation with the duties entrusted.

The spirit that I feel for my life as an Ursuline Roman Union is to glorify God in every event, the spirit of
love and to be a peacemaker wherever I am. By emulating the spirit of St. Angela, I really feel myself as Princess
of St. Angela. Christocentric spirit, invites me to always return to the feet of Jesus Christ in any situation. Being a
peacemaker for all people is an example of being a neutralizer in the community and listening to the people who
experience the challenges of living in their families.

At present, I am still communicating with Sr. Edith Ontiveros, OSU in the Philippines, with teachers during
courses in the Philippines both in the form of greeting and sharing so that my English could still be used. To
develop my english, I currently take an English / Online Class course that is registered by Sr. Ferdinanda. I
followed happily and became more confident talking to the teachers while attending the online class.

At my current stage, after three years of profession, I feel a development in my self. But there are still many
things that I need to strive for such as confidence, getting out of the comfort zone, maintaining a balance between
prayer life, work and community life. But with the Lord Jesus I believe He always helps me in everything. So, I
feel strong and determined to remain faithful in my vocation and hope that my presence will be of use to others
wherever I am.

Such is my reflection during three years of Ursuline Yuniorate, thank you very much Sister, for your
attention, love, prayer and support to me.

Baturetno, February 10th 2020

Sr. Maria Riti, OSU