AQA GCSE English Language

Language, Structure &

Answering the Exam Questions

Paper 1 Question 5
(2nd Edition)

Name:

Academic Year:
 Contents
Answering Paper 1 Question 5 – Descriptive & Narrative Writing 4
Exploring Descriptive Writing: ‘The Beach’ 5
Introduction to Language Devices 13
Identifying Language Devices: Part 1 18
Identifying Language Devices: Part 2 – Sensory Language 19
Practising Language Devices 20
Exploring Descriptive Writing: ‘The Monday Morning Ritual’ 25
Improving Your Vocabulary 28
Improving Your Descriptive Writing: Task 1 33
Improving Your Descriptive Writing: Task 2 34
Practising Descriptive Writing: Task 1 35
Practising Descriptive Writing: Task 2 37
Identifying Language Devices: Task 3 38
Identifying Language Devices: Task 4 – Other Devices 39
Exploring Narrative Writing: ‘What’s Your Problem?’ 41
Exploring Narrative Writing: ‘Magenta Skies’ 42
Exploring Narrative Writing: Correcting & Continuing ‘A Parting of Ways’ 48
Exploring Narrative Writing: Beginning Your Own Piece 53
AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1 Question 5 Mark Scheme 56

Important Note

This booklet is designed to help you prepare for:

AQA GCSE English Language Paper 1, Question 5

However, many of its tasks will also equip you for the rest of Paper 1 as well as
parts of Paper 2.
 Answering Paper 1 Question 5
Descriptive & Narrative Writing

For Paper 1 Question 5, you will be asked to produce a piece of creative writing. Normally (but
not always) you are given the option of writing a) a purely descriptive piece based on a picture,
or b) a short story or the opening of a story. Whichever task you choose, you should aim to
write five or six strong paragraphs.

On the following pages, you will find a wide range of exercises to help you explore and practise
descriptive and narrative writing in readiness for this big 40-mark question.

Key Tips for Question 5

• at the beginning, drop your reader straight into a particular situation or location

• keep your writing in the same tense throughout (past or present)

• keep your overall idea simple

• don’t move the story / account along too quickly

• stick to one main focus or ‘topic’ per paragraph (and expand on it)

• keep direct speech to a minimum (or avoid it completely unless you have learnt
how to structure it properly)

• use a variety of vocabulary and language devices

Example Question & Answer

A magazine has asked for contributions to its creative writing page.

Either: Write a description suggested by this picture:

Or: Write a story about a time you explored an unfamiliar place. [40 marks]
4
 Exploring Descriptive Writing: ‘The Beach’
By Joe King

Carefully choosing their places among the

hundreds of sunbathers, new arrivals at
the beach off-load their bags and lay down
their towels on the hot, glistening sand.
By midday, the seafront is positively
brimming and space is in high demand.
The sheer number of people is astounding,
especially in comparison to the dismal
emptiness of the same place in winter. Today, it is as if a gathering of great importance is
taking place; as if the multitude of half-naked bodies is eagerly awaiting some kind of majestic,
otherworldly visitor to emerge from the glittering English Channel.

Perhaps it is the heat that is causing my imagination to wander into strange territory, but my
thoughts are soon interrupted. On the path beyond the beach, a red-faced toddler chants "I
want ice cream! I want ice cream!" as he passes a tired-looking Mr Whippy van with his
exasperated mother. She looks as though she regrets their day out already. Maybe life will be
easier when he is older…

Shops and cafés also line the path, and a warm breeze wafts the savoury scent of doughnuts
and hotdogs towards the beach-dwellers, tempting them to abandon all restraint and be ‘good’
to themselves. Seagulls circle above like vultures; each year they seem bolder and more
provocative, dive-bombing dangerously close to the crowds beneath them. Maybe, by some
evolutionary step forward, they have finally, wholeheartedly joined the dark side and become
vultures. It is hard not to believe as they pounce on left-over chips and fallen ice cream, and
even target treats in the hands of unsuspecting punters.

At the quiet, rocky end of the beach, proud little crabs scuttle across the sodden, sea -stained
sand, frantically making their escape from determined rock poolers. A young girl perches on a
boulder, wielding a flimsy pink net, oblivious to the dangers of such slippery, jagged terrain.
She laughs with delighted cruelty as she scatters the alien-like creatures, and I am saddened
by her parents’ indifference to this needless, unpleasant behaviour. Nearby, her slightly older
brother giggles as the surf’s watery remains glide across the
shore and tickle his feet. He seems to have forgotten the shells
clutched in his hand, trapped in a cage of selfish fingers. “Kids…”
I mutter to myself cynically.

On a rugged cliff above the beach, standing defiantly on shaky

legs, an elderly man grimaces at the busy picture pulsating
below. He is smartly dressed but alone, and I’m fascinated to
know why he is there or what he is thinking. Perhaps he is
struggling to accept how much things have changed. Maybe he
remembers a time when the beach was calmer, quieter, unspoilt.
Perhaps the world was once his oyster, but now he feels
forgotten or useless. It is hard to say, but his dark expression is
unmistakable, cutting through the care-free atmosphere of summer.
5
A little later, I wonder if this bad vibe is somehow responsible for the rain clouds that suddenly,
unexpectedly move in and hijack the beach, showering its occupants without mercy. There are
yells and screams and dashes for cover as raindrops pummel the ground. In a matter of
seconds, I’m completely drenched, like a rodent flushed through a sewer. But the downpour is
over quickly and the sun makes a charming comeback, encouraging life to continue as before.
For me, however, it is time to return home, get myself dry, put my feet up and enjoy a strong
cup of tea.

Complete the following questions about ‘The Beach'. They will help you to explore the piece in
greater detail.

Task 1

In the table below, match each word on the left (from Paragraph 1) with its definition on the
right. Use a dictionary if you need to.

off-load shining with a sparkling light [1]

glistening a large number of people or things

belonging to another world, particularly

brimming
a spiritual or imaginary one

sheer appear; come out; come into view

astounding take off and put down

[emphasises how great, important or

dismal
powerful something is]

multitude gloomy and hopeless; depressing

majestic beautiful and impressive

otherworldly full and almost overflowing

emerge shining with a sparkling light [2]

glittering very surprising or shocking

6
Task 2

In Paragraph 1, the writer gives us a sense (a feeling) of the beach visitors’ excitement when
he says, “Carefully choosing their places among the hundreds of sunbathers…”

a) What does he give us a sense of when he says, “the seafront is positively brimming and
space is in high demand”? Pick two of the following statements:

• the chaos of the beach [ ]

• the peace and calm of the beach [ ]
• the busyness of the beach [ ]
• the silence of the beach [ ]
• the dullness of the beach [ ]
• the popularity of the beach [ ]
• the strangeness of the beach [ ]
• the luxury of the beach [ ]

b) What does he give us a sense of when he says, “it is as if a gathering of great importance
is taking place…eagerly awaiting some kind of majestic, otherworldly visitor” ? Pick two
of the following statements:

• the beach visitors’ anticipation of the day ahead [ ]

• the beach visitors’ fears about the day ahead [ ]
• the beach visitors’ confusion about the day ahead [ ]
• the beach visitors’ extreme beliefs about the day ahead [ ]
• the beach visitors’ enthusiasm for the day ahead [ ]
• the beach visitors’ reluctance about the day ahead [ ]

c) What makes Paragraph 1 an effective opening? Provide one strong idea of your own.

__________________________________________________________________________________

7
Task 3

In Paragraph 2, how does the writer present the young boy? Fill in the gaps below with the
correct bullet points from the table.

The writer presents the young boy as ____________________ when he says,

“____________________________________________________________________”.

First gap • cheerful

[pick one] • quiet
• selfish
• generous
• lazy
Second gap • a red-faced toddler shouts ‘I want ice cream! I want ice cream!’
[pick one]
• a red-faced toddler cries ‘I want ice cream! I want ice cream!’
• a red-faced toddler yells ‘I want ice cream! I want ice cream!’
• a red-faced toddler chants ‘I want ice cream! I want ice cream!’

Task 4

In Paragraph 3, how does the writer present the seagulls? Fill in the gaps below with the correct
bullet points from the table.

The writer presents the seagulls as ____________________ when he says,

“____________________________________________________________________”.

First gap • gentle

[pick one] • angry
• relaxed
• greedy
• charming
Second gap • they jump on left-over chips and fallen ice cream
[pick one]
• they pounce on left-over chips and fallen ice cream
• they swoop on left-over chips and fallen ice cream
• they dive on left-over chips and fallen ice cream

8
Task 5

In Paragraph 3, the writer also presents the seagulls as threatening. Find evidence of this (a
short description) and use it to complete the following sentence:

The writer presents the seagulls as threatening when he says,

“_____________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________”.

Task 6

Read Paragraph 4 again:

[1]
At the quiet, rocky end of the beach, proud little crabs scuttle across the sodden, sea -
stained sand, frantically making their escape from determined rock poolers. [2]
A young girl
perches on a boulder, wielding a flimsy pink net, oblivious to the dangers of such slippery,
jagged terrain. [3]
She laughs with delighted cruelty as she scatters the alien-like creatures,
and I am saddened by her parents’ indifference to this needless, unpleasant behaviour. [4]

Nearby, her slightly older brother giggles as the surf’s watery remains glide across the
shore and tickle his feet. [5]
He seems to have forgotten the shells clutched in his hand,
trapped in a cage of selfish fingers. [6]
“Kids…” I mutter to myself cynically.

a) Look up the following words from the passage and provide a simple definition for each one.

scuttle [verb]

sodden

perch [verb]

wield

flimsy

oblivious

jagged

indifference

needless

cynical
9
b) Identify five words or phrases in the paragraph that give us a sense of location.

___________________________________________________________________________________

c) In Sentence 1, what two words are used to describe the crabs?

___________________________________________________________________________________

d) What word type are both of these? (Noun, verb, adjective or adverb?)

___________________________________________________________________________________

e) By bringing these two words together, the writer creates a particular impression of the
crabs. What is it? Provide one strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

f) Which sentence describes a young girl behaving carelessly? Just provide its number.

___________________________________________________________________________________

g) Which sentence describes her behaving unkindly? Again, just provide its number.

___________________________________________________________________________________

h) In Sentence 3, how does the writer feel about the girl’s parents – and why? Provide one
strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

i) In Sentence 4, what word shows that the “older brother” is enjoying himself?

___________________________________________________________________________________

j) What word type is this? (Noun, verb, adjective or adverb?)

___________________________________________________________________________________

k) Look again at Sentence 5 and Sentence 6. How does the writer feel about the children –
and why? Again, provide one strong, concise idea of your own.

10
Task 7

In Paragraph 5, the writer is fascinated by the elderly man on a cliff above the beach. Identify
three descriptions of this man that stand out to you and briefly comment on the effect of each
one.

Description No.1 [provide a short quotation from the text]

___________________________________________________________________________________

This shows / suggests / gives me the impression … [provide one strong idea of your own]

___________________________________________________________________________________

Description No.2 [provide a short quotation from the text]

___________________________________________________________________________________

This shows / suggests / gives me the impression … [provide one strong idea of your own]

___________________________________________________________________________________

Description No.3 [provide a short quotation from the text]

___________________________________________________________________________________

This shows / suggests / gives me the impression … [provide one strong idea of your own]

___________________________________________________________________________________

11
Task 8

Throughout the piece, there are several changes of location within the beach setting. These
clever shifts in focus give the piece a strong structure (order).

a) Identify each change of location in the text and fill in the gaps below.

• Firstly, the writer focuses on the seafront,

• then moves to ___________________________________ ,

• then draws our attention to ___________________________________ ,

• and then shifts our focus to ___________________________________ ,

• before returning to ___________________________________ .

b) What is the overall effect of this structure? Provide one strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

c) Look again at Paragraph 6. Structurally-speaking, what does the writer include in this final
paragraph? Pick one of the following:

• a cliff-hanger [ ]
• a twist [ ]
• a flashback [ ]
• a ‘full circle’ [ ]

12
 Introduction to Language Devices

Language devices are techniques used by writers to make their work more descriptive,
engaging and meaningful. You must be able to identify and comment on writers’ use of these
devices and put them into practice in your own work.

Test your existing knowledge: try matching the classic language devices in the first box with
their definitions in the second box.

simile comparative personification superlative emotive language oxymoron

metaphor alliteration hyperbole rule of three onomatopoeia

➢ When you put two or more words close together that have the same initial sound.

_________________________________

➢ When you put three key words or phrases together.

_________________________________

➢ When you use strong vocabulary to make something seem overly good or bad (to trigger an
emotional response).

_________________________________

➢ A ‘more’ or ‘less/fewer’ word

_________________________________

➢ A ‘most’ or ‘least’ word.

_________________________________

➢ When you compare one thing to another using ‘like’ or ‘as’.

_________________________________

➢ When you describe a thing as something else.

_________________________________

➢ When you give something that isn’t human, human characteristics

_________________________________

➢ When you exaggerate in a way that is unrealistic and cannot be taken literally.

_________________________________

➢ When a word imitates the sound it describes.

_________________________________

➢ When you put two contradictory (opposite) things together.

_________________________________

13
How well did you do on page 13? Here are the answers…along with some useful examples:

1. Alliteration

Alliteration is when you put two or more words close together that have the same initial
sound.

▪ “The brainy boy reads books all day.”

▪ “Her eyes were elegant and enchanting.”

This often makes the text more appealing, fluent and memorable.

2. The Rule of Three

The ‘rule of three’ is when you put three key words or phrases together, each being equal
in some way.

▪ “In Remi’s mind, fox-hunting is cruel, snobbish and outdated.”

▪ “After years of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, Danny was ready for the quiet life.”

This often makes the text more punchy, emphatic and memorable.

3. Emotive Language

Emotive language is when you use strong vocabulary to make something seem overly
good or bad.

▪ “The child’s behaviour in the supermarket was disgraceful.”

▪ “It breaks my heart to see you suffering like this.”

▪ “The two lovers were overwhelmed by their passion for each other.”

This normally triggers an emotional response, positive or negative.

14
4. Comparative

A comparative is a ‘more’ or ‘less/fewer’ word, for example:

▪ “My sister is a better cook than me.”

▪ “Faith is the belief in a higher power or principle.”

▪ “Today’s lesson was more [or less] interesting than last week’s.”

▪ “There are fewer sweets in the jar now.”

It emphasises a difference between two things.

5. Superlative

A superlative is a ‘most’ or ‘least’ word, for example:

▪ “Aretha Franklin is one of the greatest singers of all time.”

▪ “Mondays are normally our quietest day at the shop.”

▪ “I can’t find my most comfortable jeans!”

▪ “Of all the students, Rafal is the least worried about his exams.”

It emphasises a unique or supreme quality, positive or negative.

15
 Introduction to Language Devices (continued)
Figurative Language

Figurative language is the use of vivid (visually strong) phrases or descriptions

that cannot be taken literally. The term comes from the Old French word ‘figuratif’,
which means ‘metaphorical’. The following devices are types of figurative language.
They too make a piece of writing more engaging and meaningful.

6. Simile

A simile is when you compare one thing to another using ‘like’ or ‘as’.

▪ “The choir boy sang like an angel.”

▪ “The choir boy sang as sweetly as an angel.”

7. Metaphor

A metaphor – in the basic sense – is when you describe a thing as something else
(normally something very different).

▪ “Jimmy the boxer was lightning in the ring.”

▪ “The teenager’s stomach was a bottomless pit.”

▪ “Internet dating is a minefield.”

8. Personification

Personification is when you give something that isn’t human, human

characteristics.

▪ “Autumn leaves danced in the wind.”

▪ “Words leapt off the page as I read John’s story.”

▪ “My alarm clock has a panic attack every morning.”

16
9. Hyperbole

Hyperbole is when you exaggerate in a way that is unrealistic and cannot be taken
literally (i.e. you over-exaggerate).

▪ “I’ve got a million friends on Facebook.”

▪ “It took forever to get home last night.”

▪ “Marika worked her fingers to the bone.”

10. Onomatopoeia

Onomatopoeia is when a word imitates the sound it describes.

▪ “The car screeched to a halt.”

▪ “A snake hissed in the grass.”

▪ “Kasun tapped his foot while crunching on an apple.”

11. Oxymoron

An oxymoron is when you put two contradictory (opposite) things together.

▪ “I love to hate you,” said the villain.

▪ “The restaurant’s kitchen was organised chaos.”

▪ “A little pain never hurt anyone.”

17
 Identifying Language Devices: Part 1

Identify two of each language device in the table below. An example has been provided.

alliteration rule of three emotive language comparative superlative

simile metaphor personification hyperbole onomatopoeia oxymoron

Winter’s icy grip held her tightly. Tom remained very still as the dog growled at him.

Personification
The delighted couple had a wonderful day. He bumped into an old flame at the cinema.

Climbing Mount Everest was the hardest challenge My noisy neighbours are such a nuisance.
I’ve ever faced.

Her laughter was like a catchy song on Radio 1. The Christmas turkey was as tough as old boots.

An earthquake rumbled beneath the city. The traitor was ruthlessly executed.

The teacher planted seeds of wisdom among his We waited an eternity for the bus.
students.

That summer, the sun grew warmer and brighter Children were running, skipping and fighting in the
each day. playground.

I’m busy doing nothing this morning. The Pink Star Diamond is the most expensive ring
in the world.

Melanie’s cat likes clawing the cushions. The fire swallowed an entire forest.

I’m so hungry I could eat a horse. The living dead were everywhere, closing in on the
survivors.

Then the Terminator said: “I need your clothes, The kryptonite made him weaker by the second.
your boots and your motorcycle.”

18
 Identifying Language Devices: Part 2
Sensory Language

Sensory language is when you use one of the five human senses (sight, hearing, touch,
smell and taste) to attract or repel your reader.

In each example sentence below, identify a) the sense being engaged, and b) whether
the sense is being attracted or repelled.

At sunset, the sky was filled with a marvellous I was in terrible pain when I trod barefoot on a
blood-orange glow. spiky sea urchin.

Only when he bit into his sandwich did he realise A hot bath eased my aching limbs after running
the bread was full of mould. the marathon.

The band’s Number 1 hit was very melodic and The film’s violent scenes were excessive and
anthemic. difficult to watch.

As they opened the back of the lorry, they were This steak is delicious! So tender and full of flavour.
hit by the stench of rotting flesh.

Hugo loves stroking his pet rabbit; it’s very soft. Workmen started drilling the road outside and the
baby began to wail.

From woody, earthy aromas to sweet floral and The ballerinas were incredibly nimble and elegant.
berry notes, Tanvi loved scented candles.

The music was so loud I thought my ears would His face was covered with large boils that oozed
bleed. yellow slime.

19
 Practising Language Devices

Task 1

Have a go at completing the following ‘like’ similes. Be as descriptive as you can.

a) The flowers smelt like ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b) The shark’s teeth were like ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c) Snow covered the city like ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d) The young football player was like ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

e) Her long blonde hair was like ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now think of your own ‘like’ simile.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Task 2

Have a go at completing the following ‘as’ similes. Again, be as descriptive as you can.

a) The morning traffic moved as slowly as ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b) The dog’s fur was as smooth as ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c) The punk rocker hit the drums as hard as …

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d) The weight-lifter was as strong as ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
20
e) Her smile shone as brightly as ...

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now think of your own ‘as’ simile.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Task 3

Complete the following comparative descriptions by matching up their different parts.

The mobster’s heart was … … taller than New York skyscrapers.

My mind raced … … colder than an ice cave in winter.

The trees in my garden are … … busier than a beehive this morning.

The shopping centre has been … … larger than life.

Henry is very outgoing and … … faster than a Japanese bullet train.

Task 4

Fill in each gap below with the appropriate comparative or superlative.

Comparative Superlative

smaller

highest

driest

hungrier

more / less unusual

most / least complicated

more / fewer ideas

better / worse
21
Task 5

Complete the following metaphors by matching up their different parts.

As he bolted from the start line, the

… each one is a millionaire’s playground.
athlete …

… life is a fashion show and every day is

London, New York, Paris: …
a strut along the catwalk.

The young widow felt she was … …drowning in a sea of grief.

The old book I found in my … morphed into a cheetah, leaving his

grandfather’s attic … rivals in the dust.

For Rosa, a clothes designer from

… is a treasure trove of wisdom.
Milan, …

Task 6

Have a go at completing the following metaphors. Be as descriptive as you can.

a) Running into battle, the knight was a / an …

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b) Gazing into the camera, the young model’s eyes were …

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c) In the dark sky above, the moon was a / an …

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d) Tired, hungry and bored, the child in the waiting room turned into a / an …

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

e) In the heat of the argument, my friend’s words … [did what?]

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Now think of your own simple metaphor.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

22
Task 7

Complete the following examples of personification. Fill in the gaps using the words in
the box.

a) The first rays of morning ________________ through the meadow.

b) Her bright pink hair ________________ for attention.

c) The car’s headlights ________________ at me in the darkness.

d) Storm clouds ________________ like shoppers stuck in long queue.

e) Time ________________ as I waited to see the doctor.

f) My computer ________________ every time I try to download an attachment.

g) The smell of fresh coffee ________________ me every time I pass that café.

h) The wind ________________ in my ear as I wandered through the countryside.

i) The old ship, ________________ and ________________, ________________

over the waves during the storm.

j) ________________ stalked the explorers as night fell on the jungle.

glared proud crawled crept grabs whispered Fear

danced screamed freaks out grumbled undaunted

23
Task 8

The following words are all examples of onomatopoeia (written in the past tense).

crashed dripped boomed popped roared thumped

jangled creaked yelled buzzed chattered

Pick five of them (or five of your own) and put each one into a descriptive sentence.

For example: “All of a sudden, a football crashed

through my kitchen window.”

Sentence No.1

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sentence No.2

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sentence No.3

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sentence No.4

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

Sentence No.5

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________
24
 Exploring Descriptive Writing: ‘The Monday Morning Ritual’
By Anna Conda

Task 1

The following sentences and clauses form the opening paragraph of a descriptive piece of writing.
However, they are jumbled up. Put them in order by writing out the paragraph properly.

I hit the snooze button hard, The alarm clock jolts me awake,

It’s time for the Monday morning ritual… Its red digits glare at me in the darkness,

shocking my eardrums warning me to get up. Beep, beep! Beep, beep!

and shattering the silence. but somehow the menacing device keeps protesting.

Task 1.5

Identify three ways that the writer has created an engaging opening.

1)

___________________________________________________________________________________

2)

___________________________________________________________________________________

3)

_________________________________________________________________________________
25
Task 2

Now read the second paragraph of the piece and fill in the gaps with the words in the box.

As I __________ out of bed, the __________ chill snaps at my bare feet like a __________.
I quickly __________ my old jeans and jumper and dress without __________. The dog stirs
with __________ at the early hour, but knows the __________ of the day. He stretches out,
performing his __________ moves with a __________ beginning to show in his __________.

eyes order vanity dread autumn yoga grab glint roll piranha

Task 3

Read the third paragraph of the piece, then answer the questions that follow.

Down the stairs and through the door; tea and toast will have to wait. I pull on my ice -cold
boots and put the dog on his lead. Then we begin our journey under darkened skies, my furry
friend sniffing and scent-marking every waiting leaf. Beacons of light guide us safely through
residential streets until we reach our goal, a local country park, where the ground changes
from unforgiving concrete to soft, dewy grass. I release the hound to freedom and he bounds
into an underworld of undergrowth, more excited than …

a) Identify an example of alliteration.

___________________________________________________________________________________

b) Identify an example of sensory language.

___________________________________________________________________________________

c) Complete the description at the end of the paragraph: “[The dog] is more excited than

____________________________________________________________________ .”

Task 4

Read the fourth paragraph of the piece, then complete the questions that follow.

A sense of ______________ rests upon me as I enter a world of ______________. No more

cars or ______________ or reminders of the busy day ahead. A distant ‘woof’ makes the
dog’s ears prick up and he ______________, sensing the opportunity to play. Squirrel-
savaged nutshells litter the ground and crackle underfoot, reminding me of an open fire on
26
Christmas Day. A nearby pond lies ______________ and ______________, guarded by
swans like marble statues. On the far side of it, a deserted playground begs for attention,
looking ______________ in its natural surroundings. The dog and I ______________ up a
steep bank, bracing ourselves for the eastward view ahead.

a) Fill in the gaps above with your own words or phrases.

b) Identify an example of onomatopoeia.

___________________________________________________________________________________

c) Identify the only example of personification.

___________________________________________________________________________________

d) What does this show or suggest about the ‘thing’ personified? Provide one strong idea of
your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

e) The writer refers to “swans like marble statues”. What language device is this?

___________________________________________________________________________________

f) What does it show or suggest about the swans? Provide one strong idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Task 5

Read the final paragraph of the piece, then complete the question that follows.

A moment later, it hits us: a tidal wave of light, full of warmth and splendour. Over an endless
landscape of woods and fields, the magnificent sun emerges, filling the sky with reds, oranges
and yellows. A sigh escapes my lungs as the dog and I absorb the scene. It doesn’t take long
to feel refreshed and revived, ready for the gift of a brand-new day.

What makes this an effective closing to the piece? Provide one strong idea of your own.

____________________________________

____________________________________

____________________________________
27
 Improving Your Vocabulary

Task 1

Improve the following sentences by making the underlined words stronger and more
emotive. An example has been provided.

The man really hurt the security guard. His actions were very unfair.

The thug severely injured the security guard. His actions were completely unjustified.

a) All of the students were very happy with their very good exam results.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

b) The film was both scary and interesting.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

c) Grandma’s 100th birthday party was a really nice, feel-good occasion.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

d) I really like that singer! Seeing her perform at the O2 was a great experience.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

e) Needy and sad, the homeless person asked for money from a passer-by.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

f) I ran to the station, worried that I would miss both my train and my interview.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

g) I dislike seafood; it always makes me feel unwell.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

h) It was good of you to give us those nice chocolates for our anniversary.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

i) Suddenly, a yucky thing with big claws and smelly breath came out of the cave.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________
28
Task 2

‘Nice’ is a very common, overused word in everyday English. In your creative writing,
it should normally be replaced by other more interesting adjectives. For example, a
nice meal could be described as ‘tasty’, ‘satisfying’ or ‘delicious’ instead.

For each gap below, find a strong synonym (alternative / similar word) for ‘nice’. Use
a thesaurus if you need to.

a) A / An ___________________________ car.

b) A / An ___________________________ apple.

c) A / An ___________________________ person.

d) A / An ___________________________ tune.

e) A / An ___________________________ armchair.

f) A / An ___________________________ sunset.

g) ___________________________ handwriting.

h) A / An ___________________________ garden.

i) A / An ___________________________ dress.

j) A / An ___________________________ party.

k) A / An ___________________________ smell.

l) A / An ___________________________ gift.

m) ___________________________ weather.

n) ___________________________ manners.

29
Task 3

Using a thesaurus, find at least three strong synonyms (alternative / similar words) for
each word in the table, avoiding any repetition.

a) ‘good’ k) ‘walk’

b) ‘bad’ l) ‘find’

c) ‘happy’ m) ‘really’ / ‘very’

d) ‘sad’ n) ‘scary’

e) ‘big’ o) ‘nasty’

f) ‘small’ p) ‘funny’

g) ‘love’ q) ‘dangerous’

h) ‘hate’ r) ‘interesting’

i) ‘think’ s) ‘descriptive’

j) ‘speak’

The wordsmith awaits your answers!

30
Task 4

Fill in the gaps below using the adjectives near the bottom of the page. You must not
repeat any of them.

a) Look at those puppies! They’re ____________________!

b) As I walked through the dark streets, a ____________________ figure suddenly

appeared before me.

c) Jimmy’s prank was incredibly ____________________; it got him into a lot of

trouble.

d) She was a ____________________ girl who always wanted her own way.

e) Don’t drop that box! Its contents are extremely ____________________.

f) Our old coach was very ____________________, but the new one is

____________________ to please.

g) Even though my feet were sore, I was ____________________ to finish the race.

h) This photograph is ____________________ to me; it was a gift from my aunt last

Christmas.

i) She was an ____________________ lady who wore fine clothes and had a

____________________ smile.

j) Through thick and thin, we’ve always been ____________________ to each other.

fragile elegant encouraging dazzling adorable precious

faithful shadowy impossible foolish selfish determined

31
Task 5

Fill in the gaps below using the adverbs at the bottom of the page. You must not repeat
any of them.

a) John responded ____________________ to the angry customer.

b) Chloe ____________________ left her keys in the house.

c) The police asked Libby to think ____________________ about everything she did

that night in December.

d) He ____________________ took all the sweets for himself and refused to share

them.

e) She ____________________ accepted his invitation to dance.

f) Once more, he ____________________ declared his love for her, but the princess

refused to listen.

g) Jeffery ____________________ misbehaved, despite his father’s warnings that

he’d be sent to boarding school.

h) Vanita did nothing all day; she just slouched on the sofa, ____________________

watching TV.

i) ____________________ the weather tomorrow will be good enough for a trip to

the beach.

j) The judge made it clear that the man was a liar and had committed the crime

____________________ and ____________________.

blushingly Hopefully knowingly absent-mindedly continually

heart-brokenly deliberately carefully greedily calmly lazily

32
 Improving Your Descriptive Writing: Task 1

Read the following extract. Can you make its descriptions more vivid and engaging? Write
out the piece in the space provided, but improve the parts underlined. You can use your
own words/descriptions or the suggestions at the bottom of the page.

Stars shone a long way off in the dark sky. The only sound that could be heard
was the sound of the campfire. Its flames made us feel spaced out as they moved
in front of us. Everyone was really quiet and like statues. Then a nice breeze came
through the forest, blowing on our warm faces. An owl made a noise far away and
the nice smell of cooked marshmallows woke us up, blocking out the strong smell
of the pine trees around us. In the end, someone said something, got up and
handed out the sweets. A bottle of drink was also sent round. It was time for
the stories from way back to begin.

crackle swept Eventually masking jumped to their feet sherry

roasted scent roused us hooted in the distance passed round

caressing glistened light years away pungent surrounding

to tickle our ears silent refreshing midnight yarns of old

announced that the night was “yet young” hypnotised us enticing

as still as statues shared out the treats danced before

33
 Improving Your Descriptive Writing: Task 2

Read the following extract. Can you make its descriptions more vivid and engaging? Write
out the piece in the space below, but improve the parts underlined.

It was a nice night in the city centre. Bright lights were all around us, making our
eyes blink. Cars, buses and bicycles went by like runners in a race. The air was nice
and warm, and people went in all directions – some going home after work, others
having time off. We felt free being out and about in just shorts and t-shirts. The
mix of old and new buildings was interesting, and we liked looking around in our own
time. It was a place where lots had happened. When our legs got really tired, we
went to a restaurant and had a nice meal. The taste of nice fish, cooked really well,
was amazing, especially with a glass of cold white wine.

34
 Practising Descriptive Writing: Task 1

Write a descriptive paragraph, 10-14 lines long, inspired by one of the pictures below.

35
36
 Practising Descriptive Writing: Task 2

Write another descriptive paragraph (10-14 lines long) inspired by one of the pictures
on page 35 or a place of your choice.

37
 Identifying Language Devices: Part 3

Identify two of each language device in the table below.

alliteration rule of three emotive language comparative superlative

simile metaphor personification hyperbole onomatopoeia oxymoron

The killer had a heart of stone. Bees played ‘hide and seek’ among the flowers.

Josie worked harder than ever to meet the deadline. The artist splattered paint on a large canvas.

After two weeks in Barbados, I felt rejuvenated, The clouds were like scoops of coconut ice cream.
body, mind and soul.

Mum is going to kill us when she sees how much I felt humiliated by the bully’s comments.
mess we’ve made.

Their relationship had a bittersweet ending. The lion licked its lips at the sight of so many
wildebeest.

The dry, brown grass begged for water. Lancelot is the bravest of King Arthur’s knights.

Antonio was voted the friendliest shopkeeper in Our maths teacher has been at the school since
Bedford. time began.

The singer’s legs turned to jelly when she saw how Hanish felt sharper after a strong cup of coffee.
big her audience was.

Swamp frogs croaked in unison. I’m a deeply superficial person.

Henry loves to help the homeless in his city. The car was old, rusty and falling apart, but its
engine miraculously started.

The Olympian swam as gracefully as a dolphin. The couple shed tears of joy and gratitude as a
fireman saved their daughter.

38
 Identifying Language Devices: Part 4
Other Devices

Find a simple definition and example for each of the following devices:

1. Pathetic fallacy

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

2. Sibilance

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

3. Juxtaposition

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

4. Imagery

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________
39
5. Metonymy

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

6. Anaphora

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

7. Semantic field

Definition: ______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

Example: _______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________________
40
 Exploring Narrative Writing: ‘What’s Your Problem?’

Most good narratives (stories) are about someone facing a problem that needs
to be solved or an issue that needs to be laid to rest. Often this problem or issue
was unexpected, interrupting the character’s normal routine or circumstances.

If, in your Paper 1 exam, you pursue a story-writing option, ask yourself the
following questions:

• What is my main character’s problem or issue?

• What do they want? What are they trying to do?

• Why is this important? What is their motive?

• What obstacles are in their way?

• What journey (inside or out) must they take to reach their goal?

Example Question & Answer

You are entering a creative writing competition at your school or

college. Your entry will be judged by a panel of other students.

Either: Write the opening of a story suggested by this picture:

Or: Write a description of a wood or forest you know well.

[40 marks]
41
 Exploring Narrative Writing: ‘Magenta Skies’
By Robyn Banks

He opened the boot of the car. She was, of course, still there, a limp mess staring
into the distance. She looked alarmed, frozen in that moment several hours before
when her life had been suddenly, so unexpectedly cut short. Surely this wasn't
meant to have happened? How had God or fate or the universe allowed it? What
had those eyes seen as they encountered 'the other side'?

The light from his torch glistened on her bloody forehead. Hesitantly, he put his
hand to her cheek, imagining that the slightest touch would bring her back; would
snap her out of the dreamy daze in which she seemed to be trapped. "Wake up!"
he whispered desperately. "Please, wake up!" She had always been attentive to his
voice, always responsive, but now her silence tormented him. Of all people, surely
he could cause her heart to beat again and her lips to smile. But she was gone, her
body cold and lifeless.

Above the treetops, the sky had become a rich magenta; sunrise was only an hour
away. His mind raced at the thought of her parents. They wouldn't even know she
was missing yet. He wondered how things would unfold when, at about 7:30am,
they would find she hadn't come home. Her mother would be anxious. She would
think aloud, reminding herself of where her daughter had said she was going the
night before. Her father would simply listen and continue getting ready for work.
She's eighteen, Linda. She probably just stayed at a friend's house. But once her
mother had phoned her friends and discovered she hadn't stayed with any of them,
a sense of something terrible would begin to gnaw at them both. Parents’ intuition,
perhaps.

He wondered how long it would take for them to go to the police. He had once read
or heard that a person must be gone for 24 hours before they can be officially
classed as missing. Maybe the police would make an exception in this case because
she was a good girl who got straight As and did voluntary community work, or
because her dad used to be an officer and got special treatment – something like
that. Then her disappearance would be all over the news. TV crews would arrive
out of nowhere, ready to feed on the story like a school of hungry sharks. They
would smell the blood indeed.

Smartly dressed reporters would speak with great concern about someone they
didn't even know. Crying students would be interviewed, each claiming to be a
close friend of the girl when, in fact, they had held grudges against her and spread
rumours about her that caused pointless, hurtful fall-outs. Neighbours and family
42
friends would lead a candle-lit procession through town to raise awareness of her
disappearance, and her parents would give a moving speech at a hastily organised
press conference, pleading with their precious only child to simply come home. But
it would all be in vain...and in the course of time, her parents would struggle to
overcome their grief, and their marriage would be pushed to breaking point
because such a loss is enough to drive even the happiest apart.

The thought of all this became too much, crushing him inside. No one would believe
that his sweet girlfriend had simply had an accident. After all, he had caused it. He
had been utterly foolish and careless, and was fully responsible. In the eyes of the
world he would be viewed – and despised – as a murderer.

Guilt and regret hung round his neck like a millstone, pulling him down to his knees.
His life was over too. He lifted his heavy head to the sky again, wishing he could
somehow take its deep, mesmerising magenta and breathe it into the pallid face
and limbs before him. But it was useless. There was no time to waste. He went to
the backseat of the car, took out a shovel and began to dig.

43
Complete the following questions about ‘Magenta Skies’. They will help you to explore the piece
in greater detail.

Task 1

a) What types of journey take place in the story? Pick two of the following:

• a physical journey [ ]
• an emotional journey [ ]
• a psychological journey [ ]
• a spiritual journey [ ]

b) What are the main themes of the story? Pick three of the following:

• revenge [ ]
• good vs evil [ ]
• coming of age [ ]
• death [ ]
• following your dreams [ ]
• friendship [ ]
• tragedy [ ]
• relationships [ ]
• redemption [ ]
• someone trying to play God [ ]

c) How would you describe its genre? What category does it belong to?

___________________________________________________________________________________

d) Think of three adjectives to describe the tone (mood) of the piece.

• __________________________________

• __________________________________

• __________________________________

e) Magenta is commonly described as ‘purplish red’. What might the sky and its colour
symbolise in the piece? Provide one strong idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________
44
f) The story is told from an omniscient (all-knowing) point of view. What is the effect of this?
Provide one strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

g) What, in your opinion, is the story’s moral or message? Provide one strong, concise idea
of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Task 2

“TV crews…like a school of hungry sharks.”

a) In which paragraph does this description appear? _______

b) Circle the two main language features used in it.

simile personification sensory language

rule of three unnerving imagery superlative

c) What impression do you get of the TV crews from this line? Provide one strong, concise
idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Task 3

“…a sense of something terrible would begin to gnaw at them both.”

a) In which paragraph does this description appear? _______

b) Circle the three main language features used in it.

simile metaphor emotive language hyperbole

rule of three disturbing imagery comparative semantic field of love

c) What impression do you get of the young woman’s parents from this line? Provide one
strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________
45
Task 4

“Guilt and regret hung round his neck like a millstone…”

a) In which paragraph does this simile appear? _______

b) Circle the best adjective to describe the imagery used in it.

cheerful heart-warming intense

summery romantic futuristic

c) What impression do you get of the young man from this line? Provide one strong, concise
idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

Task 5

“She had always been attentive to his voice…but now her silence tormented him.”

a) In which paragraph does this description appear? _______

b) In this line, the writer shows us a powerful difference between the young woman before
and after her death. What is the name of this technique?

__________________________________________________________________________________

c) What impression do you get from this quotation? Provide one strong idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

Task 6

“Hesitantly, he put his hand to her cheek…her body cold and lifeless.”

a) In which paragraph does this description appear? _______

b) What style of language is used in it? ______________________________________

c) What is its initial effect? _______________________________________________

46
Task 7

a) Look again at Paragraph 1 and identify three ways that the writer has created an effective
opening to the story.

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

b) The writer only uses direct speech briefly (in Paragraph 2). What is its effect? Provide one
strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

c) The writer uses plenty of long, complex sentences throughout the piece. What might these
reflect? Provide one strong, concise idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

d) What is the effect of the ellipsis (…) in Paragraph 5? Again, provide one strong, concise
idea of your own.

___________________________________________________________________________________

e) Look again at Paragraph 7 and identify three ways that the writer has created an effective
closing to the story.

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________

47
0
 Exploring Narrative Writing: Correcting & Continuing ‘A Parting of Ways’
By Holly Wood

Task 1

Read the opening of ‘A Parting of Ways’ below. It is full of spelling and grammar errors
and has no punctuation. Your task is to write out the piece properly, correcting the
errors and adding punctuation as you go along.

the old man stud up slow he looked directly at lyndon and told him they must ever see
or speak to each other again the files were missing lost in a forein country and the two
men would now had to lay low for the rest of there lifes no more secret misions no
more spying on the enermy

although it has been dangerous both men had enjoyd every minuite of there time
together the old man had became a sort of father figure to lyndon teaching him valuble
lessons about life an love his wisdem have made lyndon release how much he loved
daniella he knew he has said some bad things leaving her in pain and confuson

lyndon shake the old mans hand say goodbye and left on the steps outside rusty the
dog was sleeping when she hear the door open she get up and wagged her tale lyndon
would miss her she licked his hand as he pated her one last time then she barked
excited making him look up and around he didnt want to drew any atention to himself
she folowed him to the car looking up with sad eye but he huried into the veichle and
drive away

48
49
Task 2

Notice how this opening ‘shows’ more than it ‘tells’. This is what good storytelling should
do. Now write the next paragraph of the story (10-14 lines long). Use your imagination
to consider the following:

• What has happened so far?

• How do these two men know each other? What have they been through?
• Who is Daniella?
• Why does Lyndon react nervously when the dog barks?
• What comes next? How could you develop the plot?
• What is this story actually about?

Your opening sentence should begin with “That night, Lyndon…”

50
Task 3

Put the following sentences and clauses in order to form your teacher’s example
Paragraph 4. You must write out the paragraph properly (in the space below) and not
just number the lines.

For a while, he simply gazed at it,

A new and uncertain chapter of life had begun
a sudden noise shattered the sleepy atmosphere of the bar.
As he toyed with his glass, he felt strangely comforted
That night, Lyndon paid a visit to his ‘local’, The Alibi. (Hint: this is the first one!)
As he sat at the bar,
He thought long and hard about the day’s events,
and he wasn’t sure what to do –
But before he could even take a sip,
Rita the owner placed a whiskey and soda in front of him.
about Daniella, about the missing documents, and about the Agency.
by the clinking of ice cubes huddled together in its fizzy contents.
troubled by mixed emotions.
lost in its tiny bubbles and light gold colour.

51
Task 4

Now continue the story from your own or your teacher’s Paragraph 4, writing at least
one more paragraph (10-14 lines long).

52
 Exploring Narrative Writing: Beginning Your Own Piece

Begin your own short story inspired by one of the pictures below. You should produce
at least two strong paragraphs (each 10-14 lines long).

53
If you want to, use one of the following sentences (or something similar) to open your
first paragraph:

• What on earth was I thinking?

• As soon as I said ‘yes’, I regretted it.
• That was the moment everything changed.
• Ali had never expected this to happen.
• It was a typical day in Central City.
• Casey was a strong-minded man / woman who…

54
55
 AQA GCSE English Language
Paper 1 Question 5 Mark Scheme

56
57
 (These grade boundaries are approximate and only a rough indication of quality.)

58
Notes

59