A Primer on Emotional Intelligence Emotional Intelligence 2.

0 (book)

Emotional Intelligence (EQ) defined: your ability to recognize and

understand Emotions in _____________
SELF and _________,
OTHERS and use this ability
to manage your _________
BEHAVIOR and ______________
RELATIONSHIPS

EQ a better predictor of success in the workplace than IQ - 90% of high

performers in the workplace have high EQ
Each EQ point can be related to an extra $1600/yr income!
These skills can be learned!

Personal __________
SELF ___________
SELF

Competence Awareness Management

Social __________
SOCIAL ________________
RELATIONSHIP

Competence Awareness Management

1) ____________
SELF Awareness - Ability to accurately perceive your
emotions as they are happening and to understand your tendencies to
react in certain ways to different conversations.
Strategies: * Paying attention - you get better at it

* Being interested in it

* Knowing who & what pushes your buttons. Ask yourself why? Is it certain people, situations, topics, conditions?

* Get to know yourself under stress. What is your style under stress (silence or violence)?

* What happens to you when you get stressed? What are the indications that you might be stressed? How do you
react to stressful situations?

From Mark - think ahead what you might experience, prepare yourself to feel that.
From Jeremy - Invite feedback, ask friends to circle around later to let you know what they observed in you
2) _____________
SELF
Management - Ability to use self-awareness to react in a
positive or useful way in any circumstance; control your emotions around
situations or people
Not same as bottling up
Strategies: * Every time you think you’re going to blurt out something you shouldn’t
say, take a drink from your drink to give you a minute to think.

* Deep breaths - brain needs 20% of oxygen that comes in, but frontal
cortex gets what’s left over after life support functions.

* Adopt a quieter, gentler tone.

* Gratitude - get back to a good place. List things you’re thankful for

* Recognize that change is around the corner

3) ______________
SOCIAL
Awareness - Ability to read other people’s emotions and
understand what’s going on with them
Strategies: * Training - learning how to discern their body language

* Greet people by name - causes you to look at them, and to increase your awareness of them.

* Listen more than talk (active listening)

* Testing for accuracy - if you say something, and their body language or tone changes, testing what you think
you perceive, “It seems that …. , is that correct ?”

* Even if you don’t know what’s going on… putting something out there can be helpful to increase
understanding. “It seems like you’re not satisfied with my response. What am I missing?”

4) _________________________
RELATIONSHIP Management - Understanding your
emotions and those of others to skillfully manage a relationship
Strategies: * Understand the position the other person is in, and have reasonable expectations for them

* Transparency & vulnerability - be open and curious

* Become genuinely interested in other people

* Ask them how you can help them get to a goal

* Take feedback well

* Invite peacemaker when 2 parties aren’t connecting

* Be humble and don’t take yourself too seriously

* Appreciate others - express gratitude. Draws people together, creates loyalty. Note, gift, public praise