CHALLENGES OF LIVING WITH STEP FAMIY: A STUDY ON THE EXPERIENCES

OF YOUNG ADULT

Ritika Khati

2015 Batch

A Dissertation (RDS 488)

Submitted To

Faculty of Arts

In the fulfillment of requirement for the Degree of Bachelor of Social Work (BSW)

Kadambari Memorial College of Science and Management

Affiliated to

Purbanchal University

Bhudhhanagar, Kathmandu, Nepal

August, 2020
 This dissertation entitled Challenges of living with Step Family: A Study on the

Experiences of Young Adult, a qualitative study was presented by Ms. Ritika Khati on

August, 2020 and approved by

…………….……

Mr. Dil Kumar Thakuri Date: 4th August, 2020

Research Supervisor/ Head of Academics

………………….

Mrs. Sheela Sen

External Examiner Date: 4th August, 2020

………………….

Mrs. Pradipta Kadambari Date: 4th August, 2020

Campus Chief

I understand and agree that my dissertation will become a part of the permanent collection of

the Purbanchal University Library. My signature below authorizes release of my dissertation

to any reader request for scholarly purposes.

………………………

Ritika Khati Date: 4th August, 2020

Degree Candidate
© Copyright by Ritika Khati

2020

All right reserved

 DEDICATION

This dissertation is dedicated to all social workers, children, parents and those who

are working on the field of step family. Especially, focusing on the challenges of children for

their better development.

 DECLARATION

I hereby submit this Research Paper to Kadambari Memorial College of Science and

Management affiliated to Purbhanchal University.

………………………

Ritika Khati Date: 4th August, 2020

Degree Candidate
 i

AN ABSTRACT OF THE DISSERTATION OF

Ritika Khati for the degree of Bachelor of Social Work presented on August, 2020

Title: Challenges of living with Step Family: A Study on the Experiences of Young

Adult.

Abstract Approved

………………………

Dil Kumar Thakuri

Dissertation Supervisor

A Step family is a family unit in which one or both adult partners have children from

a previous relationship. This research presents challenges faced by young adult while living

in step family. This research applies qualitative as research approach and interpretivism as

research paradigm. Data have been collected through the in-depth interview to explore the

experiences of three individuals, aged twenty to twenty-four years who have lived with step

families. Attachment theory is the theory which the research has adopted to interpret the data.

The study finds mistreatment, pain of separation from parents and problem of getting

education as the major challenges. This issue might overcome by providing the counseling

during their times indeed, with the help of concerned government authorities who are

working on this field. This study might be significant for children, parents and also may be

useful to develop social work skills and strategies to deal with the children living in

stepfamilies. Thus, it also might be helpful to the people who are working on the field related

to the topic.

Keywords: Step family, Half-sibling

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Firstly, I would like to convey my thanks to Kadambari Memorial College for

allowing me to do research of my interested area. I would like to express my cordial thanks to

all concerned people, who have directly and indirectly helped me.

I felt immense pleasure while preparing for I had taken effort in this research.

However, it would not have been possible without the kind support and help of many

individuals. I would like to extend my sincere thanks to all of them.

I am highly indebted to my research supervisor, Mr. Dil Kumar Thakuri, Head

Academics of Kadambari Memorial College (KMC) as well as for providing necessary

information and support in completing the research. I am also grateful to Dr. Nalini Lama, the

coordinator of Center of Research, Innovation and Development of KMC for her kind

guidance.

I would like to express my gratitude towards my parents for their encouragement in

every step which pushed me and strengthened to do and here I am finally completed the

research.
 iii

ABBREVIATIONS

BSW = Bachelor in Social Work

RDS = Research Dissertation and Seminar

CRID = Center of Research, Innovation and Development

UNCRC = United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child

 iv

LIST OF FIGURE/TABLE

Figure.1. Summarizing Conceptual Framework……………………………………………9

Table.1. Challenges faced by children…………………………………………………….21

 v

TABLE OF CONTENTS

AN ABSTRACT OF THE DISSERTATION OF ...................................................................... i

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .......................................................................................................ii

ABBREVIATIONS ................................................................................................................. iii

LIST OF FIGURE..................................................................................................................... iv

TABLE OF CONTENTS ........................................................................................................... v

CHAPTER I ............................................................................................................................... 2

INTRODUCTION ..................................................................................................................... 2

Defining Step Family ............................................................................................................. 2

Background of the Study ........................................................................................................ 3

Statement of Problem ............................................................................................................. 4

Research Objective ................................................................................................................. 4

Research Question .................................................................................................................. 4

Significance of the Study ....................................................................................................... 4

Delimitation of the Study ....................................................................................................... 4

CHAPTER II.............................................................................................................................. 5

LITERATURE REVIEW .......................................................................................................... 5

Prior research on challenges of children in step family ......................................................... 5

Attachment Theory ................................................................................................................. 8

CHAPTER III ............................................................................................................................ 9

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RESEARCH METHODOLOGY............................................................................................... 9

Conceptual Framework ........................................................................................................ 10

Ontology and Epistemology in the study ............................................................................. 10

Research Approach: Qualitative........................................................................................... 11

Research Paradigm: Interpretivism ...................................................................................... 11

Data Collection Method: In-depth Interview ....................................................................... 12

Data processing and Interpretation ....................................................................................... 13

Ethical Concerns in the Study .............................................................................................. 14

Selection of Participants ....................................................................................................... 15

Introduction of the Participants ............................................................................................ 15

CHAPTER IV .......................................................................................................................... 16

NARRATIVES AND INTREPRETATION OF CHALLENGES .......................................... 16

Participants' narratives of challenges ................................................................................... 16

Interpreting the Narratives of Challenges ............................................................................ 17

Major findings related to the challenges .............................................................................. 24

CHAPTER V ........................................................................................................................... 25

CONCLUSION ........................................................................................................................ 25

Highlighting the Findings .................................................................................................... 25

Implication and Significance of the study ............................................................................ 25

Personal Reflection .............................................................................................................. 26

Issues to be further Exploration ........................................................................................... 26

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REFERENCES .......................................................................................................................................

APPENDIX I ..........................................................................................................................................
 2

CHAPTER I

INTRODUCTION

This chapter begins with the definition of step family. It has included the background

of the study regarding how I happened to do research on this topic and moved towards

statement of the problem. In the following chapter I have included my research objective and

question. Similarly, this chapter has also included significance of the study and chapter ends

with delimitation of the study.

Defining Step Family

The term 'step family' has been defined in many ways. According to Mahoney (1993),

a step family is a family unit in which one or both adult partners have children from previous

relationship. Similarly, a step family also called a blended family, reconstituted family, or a

complex family is a family unit where one or both parents have children from a previous

relationship, but they have combined to form a new family (Kimberly, 2020). Around 51% of

complex family as per the general social survey and the census (Vézina, n.d.). The above

definitions are slightly different in understanding but are common in nature.

Step family also called complex family formed in which both adult partners have

children from previous union living in the household and also from the union household has

been adopted in my study. The terms that are used to define step family members are step

parents i.e. non-biological parents, step child i.e. non-biological child brought into the family

by marriage or cohabitation of biological parent, step siblings i.e. step sister or step brother,

half-brother i.e. one who shared biological parents. Many step children can be fulltime or

part-time members of the household, as they move between two step family households,

which were formed as a result of both their parents establishing new relationships (Mcgee,

2012). Therefore, in my study step children were part-time members of the step family.
 3

Background of the Study

Remembering my childhood, I had a friend whose life was going well and apparently

due to some unknown reasons their family got separated and soon she stepped towards a new

family system unexpectedly; a step family. My friend was unable to accept the unprecedented

thing that happened to her.

Her family changed into a new relationship where she couldn’t get the chance to live

with her biological parents as before and had to adjust with a new family member. Whereas

most importantly her education was being affected and she didn’t get the chance to continue

in the same school. The change of the family member and also the frequent change of her

school made her childhood very complicated to endure everything.

I noticed that she was not able to perform efficiently as she used to and seemed

confused all the time. It was difficult for me as a friend to see her in that condition. As a part

from curriculum of our college i.e. Kadambari Memorial College allowed to conduct

research, the incident of my friend strike on my mind and invigorates me to study the

situation qualitatively in an analytical manner to know the challenges faced by children in

step family.

Statement of the problem

Children living with stepfamily generally are at greater risk for problems than are

children living with both of their parents (Coleman, 2004). Additionally, children's voices

often are not heard (Smart, 2005). The existing literature concludes that children are often

affected the most by joining a step family. Recognizing the validity of children's experiences

is treating children with greater respect. It is also the starting point for hearing what they have

to say. But to dismay many researchers have not taken this as a central focus of much

research (Wolfe, 2015). Considering the literature, it says children living with stepfamily are

affected as well their voices are not heard. This means children living with stepfamily are in
 4

problem as it is seen whether they are of small or young age. Likewise, the study wants to

identify the existing challenges on the basis of experience of young adult, as member of the

step family. The topic is worth researchable as the study seeks to explore on the issue of

challenges of young adult while living in step family.

Research Objective

To explore the challenges faced by young adult while living with step family.

Research Question

What challenges do young adult face while living in step family?

Significance of the Study

The study has helped to explore the challenges of young adult while living with step

family. It may be helpful to extend the knowledge regarding this issue. It might be significant

to social workers as they deal with the problems in the society. It may also help to develop

social work skills and strategies to deal with the children living in step families. My research

also might be helpful as a reference for other researchers exploring the similar topic.

Delimitation of the Study

The delimitations are those characteristics that limit the scope and define the

boundaries of your study (Antigoni, 2018). In my study, I have chosen three female young

adult participants of the age group (20-24) years who have stayed with their biological

parents for maximum six years.

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CHAPTER II

LITERATURE REVIEW

The purpose of this chapter is to review the existing literature. This chapter begins

with the prior research related to this study then, it tries to explore young adult's challenges

faced in the step family. Furthermore, it has also included the attachment theory that supports

to the study of my area. The information included in this chapter has been used as reference

in chapter IV while comparing, contrasting and interpreting the data. I have also highlighted

how this information included in this chapter is helpful in my study later in chapter IV.

Prior research on challenges of children in step family

There are many journal articles that highlight on the issue to step family. Similar to

this, I got various research articles that discuss on the challenges of step family. Step family

members encounter many positive experiences, but they also face with many challenges.

These challenges include relationships between family members, unrealistic expectations,

and cultural myths (M, 2017). Similar to this, a family is a place where an individual child

learns and in case of step family a child will be incapable and is affected deeply by the stress

in their families and this has an effect in most parts of their personality and performance

(Njoroge, 2018). This information has helped me comparing the findings of my study.

Particularly, on the issue while interpreting on the themes of mistreatment.

Academic performance or academic achievement is commonly defined as the degree

to which an individual has accomplished or attained their short and long-term goals.

Academic performance is what a student is capable of achieving when tested or examined on

what she/he been taught (Nielsen, 1993). Additionally, this also affects the academic

performance of the child. According to a growing body of social scientific evidence, children

in families disrupted by divorce do worse than children from intact families on several

measures of well-being, like academic performance and self-esteem. Educators and

 6

counselors need no convincing by researchers that what happens in student's personal lives

affects their behavior and performance at school (Nielsen, 1993). Likewise, adolescents

living with half or step siblings were found to have poorer academic achievement and higher

levels of depression, school-related behavioral difficulties, and delinquency than children

living with full siblings only (L., 2018). This review has helped me in comparing the findings

in my study particularly in the issue of deprived from education in the chapter IV.

When comparing academic achievement as it relates to family structures, kids living

in first-marriage nuclear families tend to do better than kids in non-traditional families.

However, these differences are usually small, and about 80 percent of step children function

well on developmental outcomes, including academic success (Gilbreath, 2018). This

information became useful while contrasting the findings in the issue of problem of getting

education. In detail, I have explained in the chapter IV.

Step families often have more children than nuclear families. Children may wish to

stay close to both of their biological parents. It can be hard to bring balance being step child

and can also be stressed by the change. More changes may mean more stress. Similarly,

children are often affected the most by joining a step family. They have already gone through

their parent's divorce. Then, they must adjust to a new parent and new rules. Likewise, they

may express frustration through behavioral or emotional outbursts. They may feel abandoned

after the parental separation which creates distance from their parents (Robinson, 2019).

Additionally, children often have no say in who comes into their life, but are expected

to acquiesce to new structures and automatically give equal respect to the new addition to the

household; a stranger (Fury, 2015). Same as, children in step families are at increased risk of

negative outcomes compared to children in first marriages, although most fare adequately or

well (Weaver & Coleman, 2010). These above-mentioned literatures have supported in

comparing the findings in the issue of separation from parents in chapter IV.
 7

Likewise, Amato investigate how children in households with both biological parents

differ from children in households with only one biological parent. He shows that children

growing up with two continuously married parents are less likely to experience a wide range

of cognitive, emotional, and social problems, not only during childhood but also in adulthood

(Amato, 2005). This information has helped me comparing the findings of my study

particularly on the issue while interpreting on the themes of pain of separation from parents.

Family therapy is a form of treatment that is designed to address specific issues affecting the

health and functioning of a family. Behavioral or emotional problems in children are common

reasons to visit a family therapist.

A child's problems do not exist in a vacuum; they exist, and will likely need to be

addressed, within the context of the family (Mckenzie, 2016). This information has helped

me in identify this sort of therapy is lack here within family. According to the authors, five

years after divorce, one-third of the children were adjusting well and had good relationships

with both parents. Another group of children (more than one-third of the sample) were

clinically depressed, were doing poorly in school, had difficulty maintaining friendships,

experienced chronic problems such as sleep disturbances and continued to hope that their

parents would reconcile (Amato, 2005). Likewise, it has helped me in comparing the findings

in the issue of problem of getting education.

 8

Attachment Theory

In my study, I have used Attachment theory of John Bowlby. Attachment theory looks

at the importance of the developing brain on emotions and behaviors throughout the lifespan

of a person (Scharfe, 2019). Step parents and step children relationship often didn’t go well

because in most cases step children are treated brutally by their step family. As the theory

also assumes that family breakdown changed the attachment style creating feelings of anger,

resentment and confusion. In a Step family structure, adolescents and young adults face

challenges of building relationships and committing to a relationship because of low trust in

stepparents, low satisfaction and interpersonal skills (Journal of Culture, 2018). This creates

the challenge of the step family in building quality time with family.

I applied attachment theory in my research, with my participants i.e. young adult to

see that they were having proper attachment and relation within the family, relatives and

friends. As this theory is bifocal to know the attachment of a child in stepfamily, it also gives

the ability to understand the importance of the relationship, and the affects that can insecure

attachment bring in the relationship.

 9

CHAPTER III

RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

This chapter outlines the research methodology used in this research. It starts with the

conceptual framework with its diagram. I have included about the ontology and epistemology

used in my study about nature of reality and source of truth. I have also included the research

approach that I have followed qualitative research and its relevancy to the study. It also

discusses research paradigms and data collection method. Furthermore, it has included the

process of interpreting data, ethical consideration in the study, selection of participants and

end with introduction of participants.

Conceptual Framework

Conceptual framework is the system of concepts, assumptions, expectations, beliefs

and theories that supports and informs the research which can be visual or written it explains

either graphically or in narrative forms (Cardoso, 2014). The main issue of my study is to

identify the challenges faced by children while living with step family. I have selected young

adult as participants who are part of step family. The study applied qualitative research

approach and interpretivism as research paradigm. The data has been collected from an in-

depth interview with the help of unstructured interview guidelines. The attachment theory of

Bowlby used in the study and also has drawn the picture of challenges of young adult. The

diagram of conceptual framework is illustrated below:

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Figure 1. Summarizing conceptual framework

Step family – includes step

parents, step sibling or half
sibling

Research Approach:
Theories: Participants – young Qualitative
Attachment adult of step family
Theory of Bowlby Paradigm: Interpretive

Data: In-depth Interview

Challenges of young adult in

step family

Source: Researcher (2020)

Ontology and Epistemology in the study

Ontology is the nature of reality (Guba & Lincoln, 1994). In my study the nature of

reality is based upon the participants' experiences and views. Therefore, the ontology of my

research is subjective. Epistemology is how we know the reality (Tennis.J.T, 2008). I have

considered the definition of Tennis. Therefore, the epistemology of my research is

participants' experiences and views.

 11

Research Approach: Qualitative

This research adopts qualitative research approach. Qualitative research is empirical

research where the data are not in the form of number (McLeod Saul, 2017). Likewise, the

aim of qualitative research is to understand the social reality of individual and group as nearly

as possible as its participants feel it or live it.

Rapport building was built through the help of friends of friends. Snowball sampling

also called ‘chain method’ is a convenience method applied when it is difficult to access

subjects with target characteristics (Naderifar et al., 2017). Sampling is the process of

choosing a part of population to represent the whole. Thus, people and group are studied in

natural settings. Similarly, this study has focused on individual social realities which are

studied in natural settings. Participants' experiences and views have been the prime source to

get truth in my research.

Research Paradigm: Interpretivism

Talking about paradigm for my research topic, I have used interpretivism as research

paradigm. Interpretivism avoid the bias in studying the events and people with their own

interpretations (Pham, 2018). In the same way it emphasizes to understand the diverse ways

of seeing and experiencing the world through different contexts and cultures. My research

paper took participants' opinions into an account. How it differs from each participant and is

contextual. Therefore, it is relevant to my study.

Data Collection Method: In-depth interviews

The data in my research has been collected through the In-depth interviews. In-depth

interviewing is a qualitative research technique that involves conducting intensive individual

interviews with a small number of respondents to explore their perspectives on a particular

idea or situation (Jacobvitz, 2002). Considering the definition in the study, In-depth interview

applied to the exploration of complex subjects. It starts with initial formal conversation
 12

including about their general information and participants' interest in giving information

regarding my research topic. The in-depth interview was followed by unstructured interview

guidelines (see Appendix I). It was taken in natural settings i.e. in their comfort zone(home).

As the provided information was on the sensitive topic it was quite challenges to gather at

once. Accordingly, it was taken repeatedly more than twice which has helped me to gain

detail information for research. Phone recorder and diary were used as a tool to collect the

data.

Data processing and interpretation

I recorded the interview of each participant with their consent on the basis of

unstructured interview guideline. After the process of taking information from participants; I

then transcribed the data of participants as it is i.e. every word (interview was taken in Nepali

language) of the participant. It took time and was quite difficult process since I had to listen

to the record time and again and make sure no any information was left behind. I looked up to

the translation again and again to make sure no any information left behind. I separated the

transcription and the data in various themes where participants' 'stories' were used and this

allowed me to generate findings to my research question. Then I translated into English

language in order and coded on themes on the basis of research question.

Thematic analysis is a method of analyzing qualitative data and usually applied to a

set of texts, such as interview transcripts (Nowell, 2017). I closely examined the data to

identify common themes – topics, ideas and pattern of meaning that come up repeatedly.

Themes generated from the information regarding the challenges faced by young adult while

living with step family have been kept in chapter IV. The data has been interpreted by the

previous research, own observation and theory of Bowlby. Further, I interpreted the findings

with theory, compared and looked for contrast with the previous relevant literature and came

out with a qualitative conclusion for my research.

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Ethical Concerns in the Study

According to Munhall (1988), ethical means protection of human subjects. The major

ethical issues in conducting research are: a) Informed consent, b) Respect for anonymity and

confidentiality, c) Beneficence- Do not harm, d) Respect for privacy. I have followed all

these 'ethical concern' while conducting research.

Consent occurs when one person voluntarily agrees to the proposal or desires of

another (Munhall, 1988). In the study, consent was taken verbally because of trust between

researcher and participants who were voluntarily involved. Inquiries were not carried out

until and unless consent was given. No further information was explored unless permission

was provided by participants. Therefore, consent was taken verbally from the participants

before conducting the interview. The code of ethics helps to maintain the confidentiality of

information obtained during research with the participant. A pseudonym is used which helps

to maintain the secrecy of participants and to explore into detail information.

Selection of Participants

As I have already mentioned in delimitation part, I have chosen only three young

adult as participants for my study (all of them are female). The number of participants was

chosen keeping in mind the time of the study and it is exploratory also it is time-consuming.

According to Creswell (2012), purposeful selection is the best strategy to obtain

‘information-rich’ cases that can give in-depth insight into the subject of study. Therefore,

considering the definition of Creswell, I have selected those participants who could convey

adequate information required for my research.

Introduction of the Participants

According to Erik Erikson’s stages of human development, a young adult is a person

between the ages of 19 and 39 (Erikson, 2002). In my study my participants are three young

adult of the age group of 20-24 years who have stayed with their biological parents and step
 14

parents for maximum six years. The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child

defines child as a person under 18 years of age (UNCRC, 1992). However, in my study

"children" is defined as a person who is a child not by age but by relation. Children may be of

any age below or above 18 ages but he/she will be considered as child because a child is a

child to his/her parents despite their age. Therefore, Memories of young adult has been shared

about the experiences i.e. duration of lifetime living with their step parents.

Ms. Chanamati

She is 22 years old. Her original family consists of biological mother and father. Their

marriage lasted for eight years and they got separated when she was seven years old. Her

mother married to her stepfather who already had two sons and one daughter from previous

relationship. They have been married for 15 years now. And her father married to her

stepmother and has one son i.e. her half-sibling. They have been married for 14 years now.

Ms. Neha

She is 24 years old. Her original family consists of biological mother and father. Their

marriage lasted for seven years and they got separated when she was five and half years old.

Her mother married to her stepfather who already had three daughters and one son from

previous relationship and also has one son with Neha's mother i.e. her half sibling. They have

been married for 17 years now. And her father married to her stepmother and has one

daughter i.e. her half-sibling. They have been married for 13 years now.

Ms. Samaira

She is 20 years old. Her original family consists of biological mother and father. Their

marriage lasted for five years and they got separated when she was four years old. Her

mother married to her step-father who already had one daughter and one son from previous

relationship. They have been married for 15 years now. And her father married to her step-

mother and has one son i.e. her half-sibling. They have been married for 11 years now.
 15

CHAPTER IV

NARRATIVES AND INTREPRETATION OF CHALLENGES

This chapter presents the narratives of participants' experiences of challenge faced by

the young adult in the stepfamily. It presents the 'stories' of participants' in their own word

which has been taken through in-depth interview. Each participant has different stories of

challenges while living with stepfamily which have been presented in different subheading. I

have discussed the issue of mistreatment, pain of separation from parents and problem in

getting education as the major challenges.

Participants' narratives of challenges

Chanamati: Deprived from needs

My father had remarried and I have got half-sibling brother already. I went to stay

with him. My Step mother disliked me hence, tortured me intentionally. She always gave a

wicked smile. Imagine living under the same roof where your step mother feeds delicious

food to only her child and leaving you absolutely unwanted and unattended. What would it

cost her for some extra fried rice? (Fried rice is usually prepared with left over rice in oil

with little salt to taste). Step mother used to treat me badly, give everything to her son but

nothing to me, no money, no food, and no good care. Though father allowed me to go to

school, she was not happy. She didn't oppose directly but fumed all the time. Little money was

spent on my school fee. So, I studied in a government school because the cost was relatively

cheaper than a private school.

When I was in seventh standard, I went to my mother again. I didn't like staying there

either because step father used to mistreat me (no equal treatment hence, tortured

intentionally), scold me in trivial things, use rough words, used to make me do all the

household chores. There was even no time for me to go to school. Step father gave priority to

the work over my schooling. Life was getting too hard for me to even think now.
 16

Neha: Inequity

Growing up, I watched my step father hugged and loved his own children but he never

showed any affection to me, despite the fact I was also his child who was merely five and half

years old. I felt left out, void, lonely and like I was never good enough. I used to feel my step

father behaved differently with me and after the birth of my half sibling I felt that my mother

also treated me differently. I hated to go to home because whenever I saw them together it

reminded me of all the terrible things that they did to me. But to my surprise my mother was

forbidden by step father restricted to meet me. The change in my mother's behavior was

devastating she literally refuse to talk with me.

Samaira: Life was not of my choice

I didn't like to stay there because of my step father's rude behavior that he mistreated

me, gave me lots of household chores which made me want to stay away from home and come

home often lately without even informing. Step father didn’t see my works at home but instead

he only thought of me as a person going out and not staying home. Because of this, my step

father was angry and arranged a marriage for me even without my consent. Mother tricked

and blackmailed me too. I was sad because my mother too didn't understand me and that

made me angry.

I was married to 30 years old man. At that time, I was only 16 years old. We two had

a huge age gap that I was ashamed of. I also aborted two children; our thoughts were

different. I stayed there 2-3 years and ran away from there. After that incident, there was no

any support from my mother and step father; they were just angry with me and didn't even

talk. I stayed in separate room with cousin sister and worked. After a while, I found someone

with whom I could spend my time rest of my life and remarry. From then, I couldn't enter the

house of mother and step father because I eloped and married another person that I loved. I
 17

want to go but I can't. Now, if I have to meet my mother, I should meet her separately without

my step father getting to know about it. And mother has to lie about our meeting.

Chanamati: Confused state of mind

Life was getting too hard for me to even think now. It didn't matter whoever I was

with because I always missed the other one with whom I wasn't with. I missed them being

together. I was having hard time to navigate my feelings. I didn't know what to do. Then I

didn't like staying with anybody. I didn't like staying neither with mother because of step

father's unusual overload of work or with father because of step mother's torture, and then I

started living on my own.

Neha: Depressed Life

I blamed my mother for my entire bad incidents. Had she not made the choice to

elope, I would not have any step father, any step sibling, or any half-sibling and any less

chance of being loved by my mother. I would have received all her undivided love and

attention. I endured all these things by myself without sharing to anyone but deep down inside

I always blamed my mother. I always had questions like why did she do this to me? Why it is

all happening to me? But I was left unanswered this allowed me to fall into the deepest

darkness of depression. Those things affected me for some years. And after my high school I

had a gap for one year because of my depression and I had no one to share my things. I was

frustrated because of my family dispute.

Interpreting the Narratives of Challenges

This chapter has presented the data acquired from the in-depth Interview and it has

aimed to answer my research question i.e. challenges faced by young adult while living with

the step family. I have interpreted data collected from the participants under the different

themes. The analysis and interpretation of collected information of young adult's challenges

in step family is presented below under different themes.

 18

Mistreatment

Mistreatment is a persistent pattern of demeaning or humiliating behavior directed

towards any person (Howe, 2011).This study finds 'mistreatment' as an important issue. In

one point all of my participants illustrated mistreatment as the challenges they faced.

Regarding this issue my participants, Chanamati said:

My Stepmother disliked me hence, tortured me intentionally. Stepmother used to treat

me badly, give everything to her son but nothing to me, no money, no food, and no

good care. Though father allowed me to go to school, she was not happy. She didn't

oppose directly but fumed all the time. Stepfather also used to mistreat me, scold me

in trivial things, use slang words, and used to make me do all the household chores.

There was even no time for me to go to school. Stepfather gave priority to the work

over my schooling (Interview Transcript, December 21, 2019).

From the narration of Chanamati it is seen that her stepmother and stepfather

mistreated her. If we look up to the Cinderella's fairytale we have heard that her step-mother

tortured, mistreated her as maid though she was princess (Morrison, 2009). In today's modern

world also through this narration incessantly mistreated towards children seems as the

challenges children face in step family. Further, Neha also told:

Growing up, I watched my stepfather hugged and loved his own children but he never

showed any affection to me, despite the fact I was also his child who was merely five

and half years old. I felt left out, void, lonely and like I was never good enough. I used

to feel my stepfather behaved differently with me and after the birth of my half sibling

I felt that my mother also treated me differently (Interview Transcript, January 19,

2020).

To the same issue, Samaira shared:

 19

I hated staying with stepfather because he was annoying and used to give me over-

loaded work and mistreatment me. I wanted to go school and read but he didn't even

give me a chance to continue my study after second grade. I felt bad for my mother

also didn't support me to continue my studies (Interview Transcript, December 23,

2019).

From the narratives of the participants, I came to know that children in stepfamily

faced the challenge of mistreatment by their stepmother and in some case, they felt their own

mother treated differently. Mistreatment in a sense of lack of providing needs i.e. basic needs,

love and security, educational needs in addition tortured intentionally. Additionally, past

studies have also shown an increased risk of recurrence of mistreatment in families with more

children. Family composition, such as large families, single parent or families with step-

parent, has demonstrated an increased risk of mistreatment (Chng et al., 2018). Here from

studying above narrative of participants, the study finds mistreatment as a common challenge.

In conclusion, all of my participants have been through challenges that each was

mistreatment by their stepfamily and to some point they felt their own parents also treated

them differently.

Pain of separation from parents

The study finds another challenge i.e. pain of separation from parents. The study

focuses on how children are being separated from parents has loosened up the relation with

parents. The family serves as a place to rest, a place to share confidences and a place where

individuals achieve a sense of unity (Acock, 1996). But in the case of stepfamily it has

created unhealthy relation which has hampered and lead the child to be isolated from their

own parents. Regarding the issue, my participants, Chanamati said:

Even after all that I have been through the wound is still fresh and I don't want to

reminisce anything (Interview Transcript, December 21, 2019).

 20

From the narration of participants, they express pain of separation of their parents. To

this issue, if proper care from the parents was not received, it hampers and creates distance

between parents and child (Wolfe, 2015). Adding the Bowlby theory of Attachment, it also

supported that those children who have less attachment with their parents lead to their

separation from home and parents because they have difficultly to share things with parents.

When there is good attachment with children, the relationship develops positively but when

there is less attachment it creates distance from their own parents. Similar to this, Neha in her

own voice:

I was frustrated because of my family dispute (Interview Transcript, January 19,

2020).

From the above narration, participant was frustrated which created distance from

parent because of family dispute. Additionally, they may express frustration through

behavioral or emotional outbursts. They may feel abandoned after the parental separation

which creates distance from their parents and also within self (Robinson, 2019). Loss and

separation are vastly different, children may wish to stay close to both of their biological

parents. Likewise, it can be hard to balance being a step child which can also lead to be

stressed by the change in family, as more changes may mean more stress. Similarly, children

are affected mostly by joining a step family. They have already gone through their parent's

separation. Then, they must adjust to a new parent and to new rules.

To the same issue, Samaira shared:

I didn't get chance to stay with father for a longer time. When I met him after years,

he didn't even recognize me that was a sad moment for me (Interview Transcript,

December 23, 2019).

It shows that it creates a distance even though the children want to stay. In a

stepfamily, it is often not the joining of the family itself that causes anxiety among family
 21

members, but the changes it brings (Wolfe, 2015). In a same way the findings have helped

me to compare my study as per the Wolfe has mentioned. The reason behind all the anxiety

and stress is not merely because of the union of two families rather the changes it unfolds.

Problem of getting Education

According to a growing body of social scientific evidence, children in families

disrupted by divorce do worse than children from intact families on several measures of well-

being, like academic performance and self-esteem (Nielsen, 1993). That was found relevant

in Chanamati's narration:

I also don't like studying because of all these things but my parents didn't understand.

I tried hard to study but I have given up. My study was not going smoothly as I was

staying back and forth in Kathmandu and in the village. It affected my studies. One

thing I learnt from my experience is that children should be provided with quality

education and a proper care of both the parents (Interview Transcript, December 21,

2019).

It shows that to some point she wasn't able to focus on her study and it wasn't going

smoothly because of staying back and forth in different place and with different family

system. Educators and counselors need no convincing by researchers that what happens in

student's personal lives affects their behavior and performance at school. Therefore, it was

found relevant in the study.

Similar to this, Neha, in her own voice:

I always had questioned like why did she do this to me? Why it is all happening to me?

But I was left unanswered this allowed me to fall into the deepest darkness of

depression. I thought it was better to live in hostel rather than living with them. I then

didn't want to study. Those things affected me for some years. And after my high
 22

school I had a gap for one year because of my depression and I had no one to share

my things (Interview Transcript, January 19, 2020).

When comparing academic achievement, it relates to family structures, kids living in

first-marriage nuclear families tend to do better than kids in nontraditional families. However,

these differences are usually small, and about 80 percent of stepchildren function well on

developmental outcomes, including academic success (Gilbreath, 2018). But in case of my

participants the findings did not match with the above review. Similar to the above narration

Author Amato (2005) support that children were clinically depressed, were doing poorly in

school and experienced chronic problems such as sleep disturbances. My participants had sort

of problem that leads to depression phase in an education because those family structure

affected in studies and not able to function well on developmental outcomes, including

academic success. Similarly, Samaira shared:

I wanted to go school and read but he didn't even give me a chance to continue my

study after second grade. I felt bad for my mother also didn't support me to continue

my studies (Interview Transcript, December 23, 2019).

Because of her step father she couldn't continue her study even though she wanted to.

The change in family, changed her life completely. She was deprived from education not

because she was a girl but because she was step daughter and no any support was seen from

her own mother side too. As comparing her past, she went boarding school for the study.

Adolescents living with half or step siblings were found to have poorer academic

achievement and higher levels of depression, school-related behavioral difficulties, and

delinquency than children living with full siblings only (L., 2018). This literature was found

relevant in the problem of getting education as seen to have poorer academic achievement,

and higher levels of depression too. Therefore, all the 'participants' were found problem in

getting education.
 23

Major findings related to the challenges

The participants are found to face with a lot of challenges that they were mistreatment

by their step family. They were mistreatment in various forms some of them were tortured

intentionally. They were also deprived from their needs and education and not able to get

additional nutrients when they were at their age of nourishment.

Likewise, young adult has faced numerous challenges in their life while living with

step family. During this course of my research, I came to the conclusion in regards to my

findings. The finding of my research comprises of the major challenges seen within the

children. Some of the common challenges with respect to their incidents are illustrated below

in tabular form.

Table.1. Challenges young adult face while living with stepfamily.

Targeted Age Incidence Challenges Common

Children challenges

Chanamati 22 Misbehaved by Deprived from needs, Mistreatment,

stepmother and stepfather Confused state of mind Pain of

Separation

from parents,

Samaira 20 Misbehaved by stepfather Force to get early Problem of

marriage without consent getting

education

Neha 24 Misbehaved by stepfather Inequity, Depression

 24

CHAPTER V

CONCLUSION

This chapter comprises of major findings of the study in concise form. This paper

aimed explore the challenges of young adult while living with their stepfamily. The findings

are based on the stories of three female young adult from three different family form. This

chapter also talks about the implication and significance of the research. The research is

mainly significance of the research. Furthermore, it has reflected my own perception as the

concluding remarks. The chapter ends with the discussion of the issues to be further explored.

Highlighting the Findings

My research question is: What challenges do young adult face while living with the

step family? Mistreatment, pain of separation from parents and problem of getting education

are the major challenges of participants shared in the story.

Implication and Significance of the Study

This issue might overcome by providing the counseling during their times indeed with

the help of concerned government who are working on this field. Family therapy is a form of

treatment that is designed to address specific issues affecting the health and functioning of a

family. Behavioral or emotional problems in children are common reasons to visit a family

therapist. A child's problems do not exist in a vacuum; they exist, and will likely need to be

addressed, within the context of the family (Mckenzie, 2016).

Likewise, if government implies counseling towards the children and parents then this

kind of problem could have been better i.e. prepared mindset of children. The study might be

significant for children and parents to extend knowledge on this issue. It also may be useful

to develop social work skills and strategies to deal with the children living in stepfamilies.

Thus, it also might be helpful as reference for those who are exploring on the field related to

the topic.
 25

Personal Reflection

The journey of my research is the study time that I gained skills to build rapport in

short period and know participants' information i.e. their lifetime experiences. I have gained

more understanding of the challenges of the children in stepfamily. How exactly they felt

about their unshared challenges and how their past has now been the nightmare. To the point

that when they were sharing their story it was going on in the flow and some of the stories,

they narrated was so touching that it made my heart heavy. It actually is hard for a child to

adjust in a new family. And it hurts when their voices are not heard by anyone, ignored and

left behind in negligence.

While I was searching for the literature review of the same issue of other countries, I

got that they provided various counseling to both the step parents and step children. It

provided various techniques to overcome the challenges faced by stepchildren and improve

their life style. I found my participants were not as open and happy towards it at first. But

slowly, they accepted the call. I personally respect each participant for they had strength to

deal with all circumstances.

Issues to be further Exploration

This study was accomplished as a part of bachelor degree. As the time period was

limited, I applied one method which is in-depth interviews i.e. narratives of participants. I

have only preferred 'girls' in my study as per the convenience and time provided for the

research. Further, anyone who is interested to address the same issue may select 'boys' or both

participants while collecting data and also use different method of collecting data. I have

looked only for challenges, other researcher may explore beyond i.e. aspects, impacts,

performance, behavior, root cause behind separation, etc. which might be possible issue to be

explored in near future.

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 APPENDIX I

Interview Guidelines

• How are you?

• Would you mind sharing me about your story?

• What were your experiences?

• Can you please elaborate about your family structure?

• What changes you went through?

• Do you miss your biological parents?

• Where do you like to stay?

• What were your challenges?

• How these things have affected your study?

• What is your future plan?