THE SPIRITUAL SELF

The spiritual self is the aspect of self which develops a certain level of spirituality
which is deemed as man’s way of seeking as well as expressing the meaning and purpose of his
life. It is a path of direst and personal connection with the Divine. It aids persons in spiritual,
emotional or physical distress crisis or discomfort as well as those seeking to make a significant
change in their lives through self-awareness.

Religion is a set of cultural beliefs and practices that usually includes some or all
of basic characteristics.

Spirituality vs. Religiosity

SPIRITUALITY involves a personal quest for meaning in life, while RELIGIOSITY is the
degree to which someone is involved in organized religious activities (religious practice), the
degree to which their religion influences their behavior (religious influence), and the degree to
which a person feels hope in a religious sense (religious hope)

Definition of Religion:

Religion – an organized system of beliefs, ceremonies, and rules used to worship a god
or group of gods.

Latin word “religio” – something done with overanxious or scrupulous attention to

detail
Latin verb “religare” – to tie together or to bind fast
In its original sense, the word refers to the expression of proper piety
(devotion/respect), that is, binding to god

1800’s Sir Edward Tylor defined religion as the belief on spirits. A more comprehensive
definition states that, Religion is beliefs and actions related to supernatural beings and
forces.

MAGIC AND RELIGION

Sir Edward Tylor wrote that magic, religion, and science are alike in that they
are different ways, people have tried to explain the physical world and the events in it.
Tylor defined magic as people’s attempt to compel supernatural forces and beings
to act in certain ways. While religion is the attempt to please supernatural forces and
beings.

SIR JAMES FRAZER differentiated two general principles of magic:

1. Law of Similarity, which is the basis of imitative magic. Ex: The effects of a
voodoo doll.
2. Law of Contagion, which is the basis of contagious magic. It says that
persons or things once in contact with a person can still have an effect on
that person.

THEORIES OF THE ORIGIN OF RELIGION

Functionalist Approach – Religion provides ways of explaining and coping with

universal human problems such as life and death, illness, and misfortune.

Sir Edward Tylor’s theory as proposed in his book” PRIMITIVE CULTURE”. Early
human ancestors needed to explain the difference between the living and the dead.
They therefore developed the concept of soul that exist in all living things and departs
from the body after death. Tylor called this way of thinking as “animism”, the belief in
souls and” doubles”. Tylor speculated that, the concept of the soul eventually became
personified and human-like deities were conceived.

EVOLUTIONARY MODEL (for Tylor religion evolved from)

ANIMISM POLYTHEISM MONOTHEISM
 This evolutionary model is proved wrong. Animistic beliefs exist in many
religions including for example Christian beliefs about visitation of the dead, and many
contemporary religions are polytheistic.

Bronislaw Malinowski’s Functional Theory says that rituals help reduce anxiety and
uncertainty.

Karl Marx “Class Conflict” approach. Emphasizing religion’s role as an “opiate of the
masses”. Marx thought that religion provides superficial form of comfort to the poor.
Masking the harsh realities of class inequality and thereby preventing uprisings
against the rich.

Another functional theory comes from the symbolic analysis, as informed by Sigmund
Freud emphasis on the role of the unconscious. According to Freud:
Religion is a “protective system” that expressed people’s unconscious thoughts,
wishes, and worries.

Clifford Geertz provide a theoretical approach combining Durkheimian functionalism

with symbolic analysis. In his view:
Religions are primarily systems of meaning that provide for people a model of life
(how to understand the world) and a model for life (how to behave in the world).

“Religion provides an important source of social cohesion and psychological

support for many immigrant groups, whose place of worship attract both
worshippers and cultural anthropologists interested in learning how religion fits
to migrants’ adaptation.”

Nature of Religion

Name of Social Scientist Background View on Religion

Edward Burnett Tylor
(1832-1917)
James George Frazer
(1854-1941)
Bronislaw Kasper
Malinowski ()1884-1942
David Emile Durkheim
(1858-1917)
English anthropologist;
founding figure of the
science of social
anthropology
Scottish social
anthropologist; one of the
founding figures of
modern anthrolopogy
An eminent 20th-century
Polish anthropologist
French sociologist; Father
of sociology
The belief in spiritual
beings
A propitiation or
conciliation of powers
superior to man which are
believed to control and
direct the course of nature
and human life
A body of self-contained
acts being themselves and
fulfillment of their
purpose; an affair of all,
which everyone takes an
active and equivalent part
A unified system of beliefs
and practices relative to
sacred things

Theories on the Origins of Religion

Theory Proponent Explanation

Animistic Theories
Edward Burnett Tylor
Robert Henry Codrington
Primitive people believed
in sould or anima found in
people (seen in dreams)
and in all nature and they
pray and offer sacrifices to
these spirits.
All early people began
their religion in cognizance
of mana, a mysterious

Nature Worship Theory Human beings first developed their religions from their
observations of the forces of nature. Primitive people
identified and personified them and created myths
about the regularity of the seasons, the phases of the
moon, and the tides.
Theory of Original Wilhelm Schmidt
Monotheism
Magic Theory James George Frazer
Wish Fulfillment Theory Ludwig Andreas von
Feuerbach
Karl Heinrich Marx
Sigmund Freud
force that inhabited all of
nature. The
destructiveness of the
mana can be avoided by
establishing taboos.
Originally there had been
one great god above all
others but he went away
and had little contact with
the world that resulted in
majority of attention and
worship to local deities.
People had gone three
phases of development
concerning the spirit
world: (1) primitive magic;
(2) religion; and (3) science
There were no gods and
that belief in gods was
simply wish fulfillment.
Troubled people who could
not cope with the
difficulties in life projected
their wishes and
developed gods and
religions.
Religions were developed
by the few as a means to
control the masses and
suppress revolution as a
result of the continuing
struggle between classes.
Masses were persuaded to
accept poverty and be
obedient to inherit bliss in
another life.
Religion originated from
the guilt that individuals
supposedly feel in hating
their fathers. As a result of
his subconscious hatred
and ensuring guilt, a great
father image was projected
in the sky called God.

Elements of Religion
All of the world’s religions contain certain shared elements such as; ritual and
prayer, emotion, belief, and organization.

1. Ritual and prayer.

These refer to the formalized social rituals possessed by all religions. However, many
religions also feature private prayers. All religions include a belief in the existence of
beings or forces that are beyond the ability of human beings to experience. In short, all
religions include beliefs in the supernatural. Hence, they also provide means for
individuals to address or communicate with supernatural beings and forces. This is
called prayer.

2. Emotion
One of the functions of ritual and prayer is to produce an appropriate emotional state.
This consciousness may even be resorted to. Although not every religion attempts to
induce altered states of consciousness in believers, all religions do recognize that such
states may happen and believe that they may be the result of divine or sacred
intervention in human affairs. It is believed that prophets receive divine inspiration.
Religions differ in the degree of importance they attach to such happenings.

3. Belief
Basic to every religion are beliefs concerning the nature of the universe and man in
relation to it. Religion attempts to explain the origin and nature of sacred things. Every
religion endorses a belief system that usually includes a supernatural order and also
often a set of values to be applied to daily life.

Organization. Almost all religions adopt an organized structure through which

specialists can be recruited and trained, religious meetings conducted, and interaction
facilitated between society and the members of the religion.

Types of Religious Institutions

Church, Sect, and Cult. Ernst Troeltsch, a sociologist, viewed religious
institutions as typically either churches or sects. He gave the following concepts

1. Sect. It is a small, exclusive, uncompromising fellowship of individuals seeking

spiritual perfection. The members are voluntary converts, and their lives are
largely controlled by the sect. Sects are usually characterized by asceticism, or
austere, disciplined life styles. They tend to reject the social environment in
which they live. Most of them are concerned strictly with religious values and
see themselves as a religious elite granted special enlightenment. Often, they
discourage their members from extensive participation in “world affairs,”
because they consider the world outside their sect as decadent, corrupt, and
sinful.
2. Church. It is a large, conservative, universalist religious institution. Its growth
increasingly comes from those born into it rather than conversion. Demands on
church members diminish, and the church becomes more tolerant of other
religious groups. Because it is large, it tends to acquire a certain amount of
social and political power; it retains that power by becoming associated with the
government or the ruling classes. Thus, a church accommodates itself to the
claims of powerful groups and the dominant institutions, and it tends to
support the status quo. Examples of these are the Church of England, the
Catholic Church in Spain, and the Muslim Siites in Iran.
3. Cult. Stark and Brainbridge identified two kinds of religious movements that
are at odds with their social environments: (1) sects which arise by breaking
away from the church, and (2) cults which have no prior ties with an
established religious body in a given society. For a religious body to be a sect, it
must be founded by individuals who leave one religious body to found a new
group. Sects usually claim that they are the authentic, cleansed version of the
faith from which they split. On the other hand, cults represents a new and
independent religious tradition.

Major Types of Religion

Anthropologiests have come up with a number of ways of classifying religions. One of

the simplest and broadly inclusive schemes is the following classification;
supernaturalism, animism, theism, and abstract ideals.
 1. Supernaturalism
This is a belief system that postulates the existence of supernatural forces that can
and often do influence human events. These forces that can and often do influence
human events. These forces are believed to inhabit animate and inanimate objects like
people, trees, rocks, places, spirits, or ghosts. Examples of these are the mana and
taboo. Mana is a Melanesian Polynesian concept of the supernatural that refers to a
diffuse, non-personalized force that acts through anything that lives or moves. On the
other hand, taboo is a sacred prohibition against touching, mentioning, or looking at
certain objects, acts, or people.

2. Animism
Animism is the belief in animate, personalized spirits, or ghosts of ancestors that take
an active interest in and actively work to influence human affairs. According to this
belief, spirits may inhabit the bodies of people and animals as well as inanimate
phenomena such as winds, trees, mountains, stones. They are discrete beings with
feelings, motives, and a will of their own.

3. Theism
People who practice theism believe in divine beings – gods and goddesses – who shape
human affairs. According to this belief, gods are powerful beings worthy of being
worshipped.

4. Abstract Ideals.
This type of religion focuses not on a belief in supernatural forces, spirits, or beings
but on the abstract ideals of correct ways of thinking and behaving. The goal is not to
acquire supernatural power, manipulate spirits, or worship gods. Its focus is to
achieve personal awareness, a higher state of being, and adherence to moral codes of
behavior. An example of this is “one with the universe” not through worship or magic,
but by meditation and correct behavior.

Religious Specialists
- Someone with special and detailed training.
- All rituals require some level of knowledge on the part of the
performer (s) about how to do them correctly.
- Many rituals cannot be done without a highly trained specialist.

1. Shamans and Priests

[a Shaman or Shamanka (female form with the “ka” ending dervies from the
original Siberian usage)]
- A part-time religious specialist who gains status through direct
relationship with the supernaturals, often by being “called”.
- Shamans are more often associated with non-state societies, yet faith
healers and evangelists in North America could be considered to fit in
this category.
- One of the most important functions of Shamanic religious specialists
is in healing, usually upon the request of the afflicted individual.

Priest and Priestess (not the same as the specific modern role of the catholic
priest)
- A category of full-time religious specialists whose positions are based
mainly on abilities gained through formal training.

2. Other Specialists
A. Diviners – are specialists who are able to discover the will and wishes of the
supernaturals through techniques such as reading animal entrail. (Palm
readers and Tarot card readers fit into the category of diviners.
B. Prophets – are specialists who convey divine revelations usually gained
through visions and dreams. And may be able to perform miracles.
C. Witches – use psychic powers and affect people through emotions and
thoughts. Some scholars of ancient and contemporary witchcraft
 differentiate between positive forms that involve healing and negative forms
that seeks to harm people.

How Beliefs Are Expressed:

1. MYTH- a narrative with a plot that involves the supernaturals.

- Narratives stories about supernatural forces or beings
- Myths conveys messages about the supernaturals indirectly, through
the story itself, rather than using logic or formal argument.
- World famous myths are the Greek and Roman myths of Zeus,
Athena, Orpheus, and Persephone.
- Malinowski says that myth is a character for society in that it
expresses core beliefs and teaches morality.
- Claude Levi-Strauss saw myths as functional but in a philosophical
and psychological way. Myths help people deal with deep conceptual
contradictions between life and death, and good and evil, by providing
stories in which these dualities find a solution in a mediating third
factor.
- A cultural materialist perspective also functionalist says: Myths store
and transmit information related to making a living and managing
economic crisis reveals that subsistence risk is a consistent theme.
- Thus, myths are repositories of knowledge related to economic
survival, crisis management and conservation.
2. DOCTRINE- direct and formalized statements about religious beliefs.
- Beliefs are expressed, explicitly defines the supernaturals, the world
and how it came to be, and people’s roles in relation to the
supernaturals and to other humans.
- Doctrine is written and formal. It is close to law because it links
incorrect beliefs and behaviors to punishment.
- Doctrine is associated with institutionalized, large scale religions
rather with small-scale “folk” religions.
- Doctrine can and does change. Over centuries, various popes have
pronounced new doctrines for the catholic church. Muslim doctrine
is expressed in the Qur’an, the basic holy text of the Islamic faith.

Beliefs about supernatural forces and beings:

Supernaturals range from impersonal forces to those that look just like
humans. They can be supreme and all powerful creators or small-scale, annoying
spirits that take up residence in people through possession.

1. ANIMATISM- refers to a belief system in which the supernatural is conceived of

as an impersonal power.
Ex: “Mana”, a concept widespread throughout the Melanesian region of the
South Pacific. Mana is a force outside nature that works automatically; it
is neither spirit nor deity. It manifests itself in object and people and is
associated with personal status and power since some people accumulate
more of it than others.
2. ZOOMORPHIC- deities that appear in shape, or partial shape of an animal. No
satisfactory theory has appeared to explain why some religions develop
zoomorphic deities and for what purposes, and why others do not.
3. ANTHROPOMORPHIC- supernaturals are like human. Or deities that appear
in human form.
- Like humans, Anthropomorphic supernaturals can be moved by
praise, flattery, and gifts. They have emotions: They get annoyed if
neglected, they can be loving and caring, or they can be distant and
unresponsive.
- Deceased ancestors can also be supernaturals. In some religions,
spirits of the dead can be prayed to for help, and in turn they may
require respect and honor from the living.

Ritual practices
 A ritual is a patterned form of behavior that has to do with the supernatural
realm. Many rituals are the enactment of beliefs expressed in myth and doctrine such
as the Christian ritual of communion, sorority and fraternity initiation (secular ritual),
and the holiday of Thanksgiving which originated as a sacred meal, with its primary
purpose to give thanks to God for the first fruits of harvest.

Category of Rituals:
1. Periodic Rituals- regularly performed rituals. They are performed annually
to mark a seasonal event.
2. Non-periodic rituals- irregular, at unpredictable time, in response to
unscheduled events. (events in a person’s life such as illness, infertility,
birth, marriage or death)
Types of Rituals:
1. Imitative-Such rituals can be typed as imitative rituals in that the ritual repeats
the myth or an aspect of the myth. Rituals of this imitative type can be seen as a
repetition of the creative act of the gods, a return to the beginning.
2. Positive and Negative- positive rituals are concerned with consecrating or renewing an
object or an individual, and negative rituals are always in relation to positive ritual
behavior. Negative rituals focus on rules of prohibition, which cover an
almost infinite variety of rites and behavior.
3. Sacrificial- French sociologists Henri Hubert and Marcel Mauss,
who differentiated between sacrifice and rituals of oblation, offering, and
consecration. This does not mean that sacrificial rituals do not at times have elements
of consecration, offering, or oblation but these are not the distinctive characteristics
of sacrificial ritual. Its distinctive feature is to be found in the destruction, either
partly or totally, of the victim. The victim need not be human or animal; vegetables,
cakes, milk, and the like are also “victims” in this type of ritual. The total or partial
destruction of the victim may take place through burning, dismembering or cutting
into pieces, eating, or burying.
4. Life Crisis- rites that can be found in practically all religious traditions and mark
the passage from one domain, stage of life, or vocation into another. Such rituals
have often been classified as rites of passage, and the French anthropologist Arnold
van Gennep’s study of these rituals remains the classic book on the subject.

The basic characteristic of the life-crisis ritual is the transition from one mode of life
to another. Rites of passage have often been described as rituals that mark a crisis
in individual or communal life. These rituals often define the life of an individual.
They include rituals of birth, puberty (entrance into the full social life of a
community), marriage, conception, and death. Many of these rituals mark
a separation from an old situation or mode of life, a transition rite celebrating the
new situation, and a ritual of incorporation. Rituals of passage do not
always manifest these three divisions; many such rites stress only one or two of
these characteristics.

Rituals of initiation into a secret society or a religious vocation

(viz., priesthood, monasticism, traditional or spiritual healing) are often included
among rites of passage as characteristic rituals of transition.

Rituals of crisis and passage are often classified as types of initiation. An excellent
description of such rites is found in Birth and Rebirth by Mircea Eliade. Initiation
rituals can be classified in many ways. The patterns emphasized by Eliade all
include a separation or symbolic death, followed by a rebirth. They include rites all
the way from separation from the mother to the more complex and dramatic rituals
of circumcision, ordeals of suffering, or a descent into hell, all of which are symbolic
of a death followed by a rebirth. Rites of withdrawal and quest, as well as rituals
characteristic of shamans and religious specialists, are typically initiatory in theme
and structure. Some of the most dramatic rituals of this type express a death and
return to a new period of gestation and birth and often in terms that are specifically
embryological or gynecological. Finally, there are the actual rituals of physical death
itself, a rite of passage and transition into a spiritual or immortal existence.

Rituals of Inversion. A ritual where normal social roles and order are temporarily
inverted. Ex: Carnival in Brazil, Ends in Mardi Gras, and the third phase called Giolzi.
Ex: Carnival in Brazil. Ends Mardi Gras, and the third phase called Goilzi.

Sacrifice
- Or offering of something for transference to the supernaturals.
 - Oldest form of ritual.
• It may involve killing and offering of animals or humans
(offering may be of a whole person, parts of a person’s body, or
blood).
• The offering of vegetables, fruits, grains, flowers or other
products.
• Flowers may be symbolic replacement for former animal
sacrifices.

Life-Cycle Rituals
Or RITE OF PASSAGE, marks a change in status from one life stage to another
of an individual or group.

Victor Turner’s (1969) fieldwork among the Ndembu, horticulturalist of Zambia provided
insights about the phases of life-cycle rituals.

Life Cycle rituals have three phases:

1. SEPARATION. In this first phase, the initiate (the person undergoing the ritual)
is separated physically, socially or symbolically from normal life. Special dress
may mark the separation (ex: a long white gown for a baby that is to be
baptized in a church).
2. TRANSITION or the Liminal phase. Is the time when a person no longer in their
previous status, but is not yet a member of the next stage. Liminality often
involves learning of specialized skills that will equip the person for the new
status.
3. REINTEGREATION. Occurs when the initiate emerges and is welcomed by the
community in the new status.

World Religions and Local Variations

• World Religions – a term coined in the nineteenth century to refer to religions
that had many followers, that crossed state boarders, and that exhibited other
features such as concern with salvation.
• Religious Pluralism – when one or more religion co-exist as either
complementary to each other or as competitive systems.
• Syncretism- elements of two or more religions blend together. It is most likely to
occur when aspects of two religions form a close match with each other.

1. Hinduism
• Originated in India.
• A Hindu is born a Hindu and Hinduism does not seek converts.
• Considered as the oldest living religion. Hinduism has no single founder,
no single scriptures, and no commonly agreed set of teachings.
• Karma is a Sanskrit word literal meaning is “action”. It refers to the law
that “every action has an equal reaction” either immediately or at some
point in the future.
• The umbrella community of Hindus span a wide range of worship, from
worship of personal gods, to mysticism, and abstract theological systems.
Hinduism is a kaleidoscope of many pieces, with no single founder,
central hierarchy, or final authority.

2. Buddhism
• Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha.
• In Buddhism, everyone has the potential for achieving Nirvana.
• Good deeds are one way to achieve a better rebirth with each incarnation
until finally release from samsara (the cycle of birth, reincarnation,
death) is achieved.
• The Buddha (which means the enlightened one). This religion spread
from India to Central and Southeast Asia. Buddha stressed the
impermanence of all things, and formulated the four Noble Truths:
1. Misery is a major feature of life;
2. Misery originates from within ourselves from the craving for pleasure;
 3. This craving can be eliminated; and
4. This elimination can occur by deligiently following a specidic path

3. Judaism
• Judaic religious system= 500BC
• Early writings= Pentateuch
• Sacred book = Pentateuch/ Five books of Moses/ the Torah
• Those who worship Judaism are called Jews.
• Jewish sacred place= Kotel
• This is the religion of Jesus. Its believers live all over the world but have
a homeland in one diety, Jehovah, Yahweh, or God, who cares for the
world and for His chosen people, the Jews. As a religion, Judaism
focuses on a continual interaction between God and people, with God
continually being unwilling to turn His back on man, despite repeated
violations of the covenant by man. God reveals His divine presence
through history. Despite God’s actions, humans are constantly falling
short of His expectations. As a result, prophets have appeared from time
to time, to bring men back to right practices.

4. Christianity
• Largest of the world’s religions.
• 3 Largest branches of Christianity:
Roman Catholic
Protestants
Eastern Orthodox
5. Islam
• Youngest of the World’s religion
• Based on the teachings of the prophet Muhammad
• The Arabic word for Islam means “submission” to the will of one God,
Allah, through which peace will be achieved.
• Followers of Islam, is known as Muslim.
• Five pillars of Islam:
Profession of faith in Allah.
Daily prayer
Fasting
Contributing alms for the poor
Pilgrimage to Mecca (the Hajj)

African Religions
- Indigenous African religions are difficult to typify, but some of their
shared features are.
❖ Myths about a rapture that once occurred between the creator
deity and humans.
❖ A pantheon that includes a high god and many secondary
supernaturals ranging from powerful gods to lesser spirits.
❖ Elaborate initiation rituals.
❖ Rituals involving animal sacrifices and other offerings, meals
and dances.
❖ Altars within shrines as focal places where humans and deities
meet.
❖ Close link between healing and divination.

These features are fairly constant, African religions are rethought and reshaped
locally and over time with complex and variable results.

Ras Tafari is also called Rastafarianism.

Pilgrimage
-is a round-trip travel to a sacred place or places for purposes of religious
devotion or ritual.

PROMINENT PILGRIMAGE PLACES:

 1. Varanasi in India (formerly called Banaras) for HINDUS.
2. Mecca in Saudi Arabia for MUSLIMS
3. Bodh Gaya in India for BUDDHISTS
4. Jerusalem in Israel for JEWS, CHRISTIANS & MUSLIMS
5. Lourdes in France for CHRISTIANS

oooOOOooo

FINDING AND CREATING MEANING OF LIFE

Logotherapy is a psychotherapy introduced by DR. VIKTOR FRANKL, who is

considered the Father of Logotherapy. The main belief of logotherapy is the “man’s primary
motivational force is the search for meaning”. Logotherapy aids individuals to find personal
meaning of life, whatever life situation they may be.

FRANKL’S SOURCES OF MEANING

1. Purposeful Work. To find the meaning of life starts with holding a future goal. Each
individual has each own future goal to achieve or a task to perform. That task or goal to
fulfill becomes the meaning of their life. Therefore, meaning of life is unique to every
individual.
2. Courage in the Face of Difficulty. A meaningful life is a life with suffering. Suffering is
inevitable part of life. To find meaning of life is to recognize suffering, pain, and death as
part of life and to have the courage to face these life difficulties.
3. Love
A. Eros
Eros is sexual or passionate love, and is the type most akin to our modern
construct of romantic love. In Greek myth, it is a form of madness brought about by one
of Cupid’s arrows. The arrow breaches us and we ‘fall’ in love, as did Paris with Helen,
leading to the Trojan War and the downfall of Troy and much of the assembled Greek
army. In modern times, eros has been amalgamated with the broader life force, something
akin to Schopenhauer’s will, a fundamentally blind process of striving for survival and
reproduction. Eros has also been contrasted with Logos, or Reason, and Cupid painted
as a blindfolded child.

B. Philia
The hallmark of philia, or friendship, is shared goodwill. Aristotle believed that a
person can bear goodwill to another for one of three reasons: that he is useful; that he is
pleasant; and, above all, that he is good, that is, rational and virtuous. Friendships
founded on goodness are associated not only with mutual benefit but also with
companionship, dependability, and trust.
For Plato, the best kind of friendship is that which lovers have for each other. It
is a philia born out of eros, and that in turn feeds back into eros to strengthen and develop
it, transforming it from a lust for possession into a shared desire for a higher level of
understanding of the self, the other, and the world. In short, philia transforms eros from
a lust for possession into an impulse for philosophy. Real friends seek together to live
truer, fuller lives by relating to each other authentically and teaching each other about
the limitations of their beliefs and the defects in their character, which are a far greater
source of error than mere rational confusion: they are, in effect, each other’s therapist—
and in that much it helps to find a friend with some degree of openness, articulacy, and
insight, both to change and to be changed.

C. Storge
Storge (‘store-gae’), or familial love, is a kind of philia pertaining to the love
between parents and their children. It differs from most philia in that it tends, especially
with younger children, to be unilateral or asymmetrical. More broadly, storge is the
fondness born out of familiarity or dependency and, unlike eros or philia, does not hang
on our personal qualities. People in the early stages of a romantic relationship often
expect unconditional storge, but find only the need and dependency of eros, and, if they
are lucky, the maturity and fertility of philia. Given enough time, eros tends to mutate
into storge.

D. Agape
Agape is universal love, such as the love for strangers, nature, or God. Unlike
storge, it does not depend on filiation or familiarity. Also called charity by Christian
thinkers, agape can be said to encompass the modern concept of altruism, defined as
 unselfish concern for the welfare of others. Recent studies link altruism with a number
of benefits. In the short term, altruism leaves us with a euphoric feeling—the so-called
‘helper’s high’. In the longer term, it is associated with better mental and physical health,
as well as longevity. At a social level, altruism serves as a signal of cooperative intentions,
and also of resource availability and so of mating or partnering potential. It also opens
up a debt account, encouraging beneficiaries to reciprocate with gifts and favours that
may be of much greater value to us than those with which we feel able to part. More
generally, altruism, or agape, helps to build and maintain the psychological, social, and,
indeed, environmental fabric that shields, sustains, and enriches us. Given the increasing
anger and division in our society, and the state of our planet, we could all do with quite
a bit more agape.

E. Ludus
Ludus is playful or uncommitted love. It can involve activities such as teasing and
dancing, or more overt flirting, seducing, and conjugating. The focus is on fun, and
sometimes also on conquest, with no strings attached. Ludus relationships are casual,
undemanding, and uncomplicated but, for all that, can be very long-lasting. Ludus works
best when both parties are mature and self-sufficient. Problems arise when one party
mistakes ludus for eros, whereas ludus is in fact much more compatible with philia.

F. Pragma
Pragma is a kind of practical love founded on reason or duty and one’s longer-
term interests. Sexual attraction takes a back seat in favour of personal qualities and
compatibilities, shared goals, and making it work. In the days of arranged marriages,
pragma must have been very common. Although unfashionable, it remains widespread,
most visibly in certain high-profile celebrity and political pairings. Many relationships
that start off as eros or ludus end up as various combinations of storge and pragma.
Pragma may seem opposed to ludus, but the two can co-exist, with the one providing a
counterpoint to the other. In the best of cases, the partners in the pragma relationship
agree to turn a blind eye—or even a sympathetic eye, as in the case of Simone de Beauvoir
and Jean-Paul Sartre, or Vita Sackville-West and Harold Nicholson.

G. Philautia
Philautia is self-love, which can be healthy or unhealthy. Unhealthy self-love is
akin to hubris. In Ancient Greece, a person could be accused of hubris if he placed himself
above the gods, or, like certain modern politicians, above the greater good. Many believed
that hubris led to destruction, or nemesis. Today, hubris has come to mean an inflated
sense of one’s status, abilities, or accomplishments, especially when accompanied by
haughtiness or arrogance. As it disregards truth, hubris promotes injustice, conflict, and
enmity.
Healthy self-love is akin to self-esteem, which is our cognitive and, above all,
emotional appraisal of our own worth relative to that of others. More than that, it is the
matrix through which we think, feel, and act, and reflects and determines our relation to
ourselves, to others, and to the world.
Self-esteem and self-confidence do not always go hand in hand. In particular, it
is possible to be highly self-confident and yet to have profoundly low self-esteem, as is
the case with many performers and celebrities.
People with high self-esteem do not need to prop themselves up with externals
such as income, status, or notoriety, or lean on crutches such as alcohol, drugs, or sex.
They are able to invest themselves completely in projects and people because they do not
fear failure or rejection. Of course they suffer hurt and disappointment, but their setbacks
neither damage nor diminish them. Owing to their resilience, they are open to growth
experiences and relationships, tolerant of risk, quick to joy and delight, and accepting
and forgiving of themselves and others.

Robert Sternberg proposed something that has taken hold of the interest of many – from
his fellow psychologists to psychology enthusiasts. He had proposed a theory that concretizes
something that has baffled many minds and wrenched many hearts: love.
He called it the triangular theory of love, as the theory is best explained in a form of a triangle,
but it is more commonly known as the Sternberg’s Theory of Love. In the context of
interpersonal relationships, there are three components of love: an intimacy component, a
passion component, and a commitment component.

The first component talks about intimacy. According to the theory, it is the feeling of
attachment, closeness and connectedness. The second component is the passion, the firey depth
and intense feeling you get when you like someone. It encompasses the drive connected to both
limerence (romantic attraction) and sexual attraction. Commitment comes in to tie the two
together. It is a decision to remain with one another (short term) and plans made in the future
(long term).
The forms of love are combinations of the three components that was described above. According
to this theory, it takes 6 manifestations and they are as follows.
o Nonlove: It is merely the absence of the three components. This basically characterizes
the majority of our personal relationships, which are simply casual interactions. It could
apply to your acquaintances or someone you’re not particularly attached with.
o Friendship: This is characterized when intimacy is present. This is the set of feelings
one experiences without the intense feeling of passion or commitment in the romantic
sense. This can however be a root for the other forms of love to manifest.
o Infatuated Love: It is called infatuation when passion is present, and both liking and
commitment is absent. Crushes (whether celebrity or not) fall under this category. People
with nothing but a sexual relationship with each other also manifest this category, as
they are only bounded by carnal desires and nothing more. This is the most common root
of romantic love, as it is believed that intimacy develops over time. But if neither intimacy
nor commitment is develop, this can fizzle over time.
o Empty Love: An example of this is an unhappy marriage, where the intimacy or the liking
for the spouse is gone, and the flames of passion have already been put out a long time
ago; nothing left but the contract of marriage itself. Empty love is characterized by the
absence of passion and intimacy despite the presence of commitment. A strong love
may deteriorate into empty love. And if we flip the spotlight to arranged marriages; going
into the marriage, it can be categorized as empty love, which can seep into another form
of love over time.
o Romantic Love: This form of love is a combination between intimacy and passion.
Lovers who are under this category are said to not only be drawn and bonded physically,
but emotionally as well. This is one of the most common stepping stones to a married life.
In this kind of relationship, it lacks the commitment. So it’s a little bit easier to scrap it
out when both of the parties involved have had enough of it, without all the legal issues
to deal with.
o Companionate Love: It is characterized by the combination of intimacy and
commitment, and the absence of passion. This is stronger than the friendship form
because of the element of commitment. Companionate love is observed in long-term
marriages, where you don’t exactly need the passion in order to stay in love with your
partner, because the affection remained. It can also be observed among family members
and close friends who have a platonic, but strong friendship.
o Fatuous Love: A very good example of a fatuous love is Kim Kardashian’s marriage to
Kris Humphires, only to divorce him 72 days later. It’s the type of whirlwind romances
that end up in our television sets. Fatuous love is just that. This type of love is
the combination of commitment and passion without intimacy. With my example of
Kim and Kris’ wedding, their marriage was not enforced by intimacy, plus they got
married so soon, and publicly as well, that might be a contributing factor to the end of
their short-lived married life.
o Consummate Love: This type of love sits at the very center of the triangle, because this
is said to be the perfect and ideal type of love. All three components are present in this
type of love and this is some sort of a goal for people who are in a relationship. According
to Sternberg, these couples will continue to have a great sex life fifteen years or more into
the relationship, they cannot imagine themselves happier over the long-term with anyone
else, they overcome their difficulties gracefully, and each delight in the relationship with
one other. However, Sternberg himself cautions that maintaining this relationship is
harder than achieving it. And this is not a permanent form of love.

Sternberg had stressed the importance of communication in any kind of love. “Without love” he
warns, “even the greatest love can die.”