Roasts –

1. I know you are, but what am I?

2. Yeah? Well, you smell like hot dog water.
3. Isn’t it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence?
4. Sorry, not sorry.
5. If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I’d be broke.
6. I do not consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture
would eat.
7. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
8. In the land of the witless, you would be king.
9. I would prefer a battle of wits, but you appear unarmed.
10. I like the way you try.
11. I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.
12. People clap when they see you. They clap their hands over their
eyes.
13. When I see your face, there’s not a thing that I would change…
except the direction I was walking in.
14. You look like something I would draw with my left hand.
15. I look ugly? Good. I was trying to look like you today.