Darkness Visible

Cierra Gunn

Darkness Visible is based on the journey of William Styron’s steady decline and later
treatment of clinical depression. When reading this book, the differences of time and setting are
apparent as depression is a horribly taboo topic and not taken seriously by the general public.
After finishing the book, my general reaction was my amazement at his description of the disease
and how he detailed his personal experience with it.
One of my favorite moments in the book was his hyperfixation of a certain journal he
had. During this stage of his depression, he had lost all hope and was starting to really
contemplate suicide and ultimately decided to end his suffering. He had an almost, “checklist,”
of things he needed to do before he ended it, a few of them being sort out his will, throw away
his notebook, and writing a suicide note, even though he ripped it up later. What really stuck
with me throughout this scene of his life, was the intrinsic meaning of his actions concerning the
notebook. He knew what he was going through, and he knew he needed help, but he threw this
notebook away like a secret, as if it symbolized his suicidal depression. It made me question
whether he wanted anyone to know that he was having suicidal thoughts, or ultimately, had
given up. He put his notebook in a parcel, then wrapped it in paper towels, tape, and went as far
to put it into an empty cereal box. After stuffing it in the bottom of the trash can he remembers
feeling humiliated with himself and felt like he “made an irreversible decision.”
What makes this so interesting to me, is the layers around that notebook, are very much
comparable to the barriers put up against a person affected by this disease. I could feel the deeper
meaning to it in my bones.
This made me understand it so much better, because of how easy he made it to relate, by
using other situations, comparisons, and imagery. It made complete sense as to why it's so
difficult for people experiencing this to get help, and not fall into the clutches of negative coping.
I've always known what depression was, especially from a biochemical standpoint, but this
helped me to see that it is all encompassing and can make you into, virtually, a human vegetable
if you don't receive treatment.
 References

Styron, William. Darkness Visible: A Memoir of Madness. New York, Random House, 1990.