Love Language

To start my love language essay, I would like to introduce my boyfriend, Jake.

Jake is a 21-year-old from Stetsonville, Wisconsin. We met the first week of school. It

did not take us long to start dating, but it seems like we have known each other for

years. Jake and I have similar values. We are both practicing Catholics, love our

families, see school as being important, are caring and hardworking individuals, enjoy

helping the community, and are both wrestlers. The first time I met Jake, he was walking

with my brother to the Block Party the community was hosting for the college

newcomers. My friend and I were way in the back of the parade of people and decided

to race for the front. I accidently ran into Jake pretty hard from behind and poof the

magic happened. By taking the love language test, Jake and I are able to identify and

better understand our individual needs to support a long term relationship.

Based on my love language test, my love language is 30% acts of service, 23%

words of affirmation, 23% quality time, 20% physical touch, and lastly 3% receiving gifts.

I was a little surprised that physical touch was only 20%. I love receiving both

welcoming and goodbye hugs and kisses from my boyfriend. He makes me feel wanted.

Other than that, I thought my love language test was pretty accurate. Acts of service

being my first love language makes sense to me. I feel appreciated whenever someone

does something for me. For example, when Jake walks me to my dorm after studying in

the library, he makes me feel safe. When he types up a page of my notes for me, while

I’m typing another page, he makes me feel less stressed. He does not do my homework

for me! At times I can be a clean freak and love being very organized. Every time I visit

Jake’s room it is tidy, his desk is organized, bed is made, and his clothes are hung up

and put away. I am excited to see him and his organized clean space makes me feel

comfortable and calm. Lastly, I was talking about buying a futon for my dorm room, but I
don't have a car. While I was in class, Jake went to Walmart and bought one. Jake is

already doing a wonderful job understanding my love language.

For my boyfriend, Jake, his love language rankings are 32% physical touch, 29%

quality time, 19% words of affirmation, 13% acts of service, and lastly 6% receiving gifts.

I think his rankings are correct. Physical touch being on the top, adds up, because he

appreciates the times we are together cuddling, giving back rubs, massaging sore

muscles from sport activities, and taking time to work out together. An example of Jake

and I showing both our love languages was when we put together my little brothers’

desk. We were able to do an activity together that involved both physical activity and

service.

It is important for both Jake and I to understand our love language in our

personal and work relationships. Because Jake feels loved when there is physical

activity and touch, it is common to also expect or have a sense of delivering love to

others through the same action. Jake is going to school to be a chiropractor. This career

choice can help give him satisfaction while at work by providing service to his patients

through hands-on care or physical interaction. He must be mindful of someone who

does not like physical touch and activity that could cause that person distress. Same

with me, I feel like I am giving love through service. However, someone who does not

appreciate service may see me as a busybody, a boss who is interfering and just trying

to take over. For example, Jake could care less about me folding his socks, but it gives

me satisfaction because I think I am showing love to him by providing a service. I know I

show my love by cleaning the house for my mom or doing things when no one tells me

to do the task. I do believe it will be important for me to find a career where I can show

my love for others through my love language of service to feel most satisfied.

Understanding each other’s love languages is beneficial long term. Taking the

love language test was an excellent exercise for us to identify how to support each
other's needs. When I have to leave for a trip, I know it is important to give Jake a hug

or a kiss before leaving and upon returning, before we even say a word. When I return,

Jake might consider helping me unload and unpack my bags, so I can get caught up to

move on to the next activity. By speaking in each other’s love languages, we can

hopefully continue to grow in our relationship and be an example for others to follow.