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JAIL BREAK

Written by

Jordan Taylor

Jordan@HowDoesTheMovieEnd.com

© Copyright 2022 Jordan Taylor.

WGA East Registration Number: I334361


FADE IN:

EXT. DRY-GOODS STORE - DAY (THE OLD WEST)

A grainy, sepia-toned silent film reel FLICKERS into life as


saloon-style RAGTIME PIANO MUSIC tinkers in the background.

An old, grey-bearded PROSPECTOR (70) in dirty denim dungarees


stands outside a well-stocked store with a toothless smile --

SOUTHERN DRAWL/ROY (V.O.)


I guess it was my Great-Grand-Pappy
who started the family business...

-- and then holds up two bags of stolen swag!

A SHERIFF and several DEPUTIES wade in and beat the elderly


man down in a cloud of dust with batons and punches.

INT. JAIL CELL - DAY

A cell door is SLAMMED shut on the Prospector.

ROY (V.O.)
He was an ‘entrepreneur’, you could
say. He saw a gap in the market -
and he took it!

EXT. JAIL CELL - LATER

The dejected Prospector, leaning out through the bars of a


small window at the back of his cell, strikes up a
conversation with a TRAVELING SALESMAN (30s, devilishly
handsome with a bowler hat and fancy mustache).

The Prospector removes a gold nugget from deep inside his


overalls and drops it into the Salesman’s hands.

The Traveling Salesman examines the nugget, gives it a quick


bite to test, then nods his head. They shake hands.

ROY (V.O.)
He was ahead of the curve. A true
visionary was my Great Gramps.

EXT. JAIL CELL - LATER

The Traveling Salesman has planted sticks of dynamite around


the window and outside wall of the cell. He motions for the
Prospector to stand back.

He STRIKES a match off his fancy mustache, then lights a


network of fuses which SPARKLE as they ignite.
2.

He holds his hat firmly against his head as he makes an


ungainly, long-legged getaway.

ROY (V.O.)
Payment up front and good customer
service - he set the benchmark.
Some said he even wrote the book!

The fuses hit the dynamite sticks ...

-- and a huge EXPLOSION forces a mushroom cloud of smoke out


the back of the building. The cell wall CRUMBLES. A large
section holding the window falls in on itself.

As the dust settles, the Traveling Salesman peers into the


wreckage - then his expression softens.

He removes his hat respectfully.

ROY (V.O.)
‘You win some, you lose some’.
That’s what my Great-Grand-Pappy
used’ta always say.

In the cell a shriveled hand is all that can be seen pushing


up through the bars of the window.

The Sheriff and his Deputies wade in with kicks and punches,
and beat down the Traveling Salesman with their batons.

CUT TO:

EXT. TOWN SQUARE - DAY (THE OLD WEST)

Sepia tones become a little more colorful as the citizens of


a frontier town have gathered for a hanging. An ELDERLY JUDGE
reads from a scroll while a ROGUISH COWBOY waits on a wooden
platform with his neck in a slack noose.

ROY (V.O.)
The baton was passed down to my
Grandfather, Ol’ Jebediah Wood.

To one side a portly traveling salesman, JEBEDIAH (40s, with


walrus ‘tache, waist-coat and his father’s bowler hat), is
beckoning a small crowd to look at the goods from his
elaborate horse-drawn wagon.

ROY (V.O.)
Where my Great-Grand-Pappy lacked
finesse, Jebediah raised the bar...

He TAPS the side of his wagon with a walking stick and with
razzmatazz the entire wooden side-panel flips down --
3.

-- an Oriental rug unravels to the ground, drawing gasps from


the small crowd

-- mechanisms kick into gear pulling two metal poles out to


each side unfurling medicinal advertising banners

-- a PUFF OF SMOKE evaporates to reveal shelves of alchemy


glass bottles and potions. The top shelf holds a sign for
“JEBEDIAH & SON, MEDICINAL PRACTITIONERS”.

A NATIVE AMERICAN INDIAN CHIEF (50) emerges from the back of


the wagon, sighs, rolls his eyes and offers a half-hearted
“How!” greeting with one hand.

The small audience APPLAUD and their numbers grow. Jebediah


shouts an impassioned sales pitch. The Elderly Judge has
trouble to hold the attention of the crowd.

ROY (V.O.)
Razzmatazz, smoke and mirrors. The
family business made a killing from
bottling up sea water, adding in a
bit of dust, and selling it to cure
everything from baldness to
gangrene. Folks couldn’t get enough
of the stuff! But the real magic
was behind the scenes...

With the crowd distracted, a YOUNG BOY (BILLY) scrambles up


to the cowboy’s platform and cuts the noose.

The young boy waves to Jebediah, his father, who nods an


acknowledgement and starts to shut up shop.

The crowd grow frantic trying to buy a potion in time.


Jebediah struggles to close the wagon’s side panel.

The Judge turns around - to an empty noose - and then back to


a solitary donkey listening intently. His shoulders slump. He
drops the charge sheet and trudges off the stage.

EXT. TEXAS PLAINS - LATER

Away from the crowd, Jebediah eagerly counts his dollar


bills. He reluctantly scrapes off two single notes: one for
the dejected Indian Chief, and one for the elated young boy.

ROY (V.O.)
Sadly, when a vicious rumor went
around that the potions gave you
hairy palms, Jebediah took to the
bottle - literally. Drinking the
stash to prove his doubters wrong.
4.

EXT. CEMETERY - DAY

The lid of an open coffin around Jebediah’s body (revealing


his extraordinarily hairy hands) is NAILED SHUT and lowered
into the ground before a small gathering of mourners.

ROY (V.O.)
That’s when the baton was passed on
to his boy - Billy, my father, to
carry on our good name.

Young Billy is slapped across the back as he wipes away a


tear and grips his dollar bill tight.

MATCH CUT:

EXT. CANYON - DAY (THE WILD WEST)

Billy (now 30) studies a Confederate convoy of SOLDIERS


transporting wagons of PRISONERS from his trusty steed on a
ridge overlooking the plains.

ROY (V.O.)
Eighteen sixty-five. End of the
Civil War, beginning of The Wild
West. Business couldn’t be better!
Black, white, free or slave we
didn’t care -- if you were in jail
and wanted out, we could help! I
mean, sure, we may have helped some
guilty ones go free - but rescued
innocent ones, I’m sure of it, too.

Several mean BANDITS in cowboy hats and trench-coats wait


with their leader. A little boy of 5yrs, ROY, is sat on a
pony at the end of the group. His father gives him a wink.

Billy tightens a Union blue bandana over his face then SHOOTS
his pistol in the air.

The gang’s horses rear up then kick a cloud of dust as the


posse charge down the ridge towards the convoy.

The little boy on the pony can’t keep up.

The bandits SHOOT several soldiers and scare the rest away.
They snatch the reigns to one wagon filled with prisoners who
CHEER at their rescue.

ROY (V.O.)
Is it right for an innocent man to
be in jail? Just because a Judge,
and a Sheriff, and a jury of twenty
townsfolk think you’re guilty? ...
I forget where I was going with
this. But is that really justice?
5.

Billy salutes as his bandits SMACK the horses’ rumps pulling


the wagon away to freedom. The bandits pull back one cart’s
canopy to reveal bottles of whiskey and sticks of dynamite.

Billy’s expression changes when he notices the prisoners’


wagon careening straight for the edge of a canyon. He stands
on the saddle of his horse and WHISTLES frantically to alert
his men, but they’re too busy enjoying the spoils of war.

Stuck behind bars, the prisoners look on helplessly.

Billy slumps back into his saddle as the horses and wagon
hurtle straight off the canyon edge to their doom.

ROY (V.O.)
Suppose at the end of the day, ‘You
win some, you lose some’, as my
Great-Grand-Pappy used’ta say.

INT. COURTHOUSE - DAY (1895)

SUPER: LAST DAYS OF THE WILD WEST

A round-faced JUDGE, LEGAL COUNSEL and JURY sit in disbelief


before ROY (35), chiseled jaw-line, straggly hair, Stetson
and leather waistcoat over a dirty flannel shirt.

ROY
Sorry, where was I? I forgot your
question.

The Judge peers down to his notes and adjusts his spectacles.

JUDGE
I believe the counsel asked--

He snaps his fingers to the COURT CLERK who reels back the
typed paper and hands it to the Judge.

JUDGE (CONT’D)
‘What brought you here today?’

ROY
Ah, yes! Yes. That old chestnut.
Just giving you a bit of background
on ol’ Roy!

He catches the eye of an ATTRACTIVE JURY LADY, who blushes


and fidgets with her purse.

ROY (CONT’D)
No, I’m here today to make claims
against THIS man!

He points to the defendant, CLINT RICHARDS THE CAR SALESMAN.


A wealthy, defined man, mid-30s, with Hollywood good looks
and a thin, slick mustache.
6.

CLINT
Your Honor, this is ridiculous--

ROY
Spare me. You know what you did.
You bought that hot air balloon to
take away my customers!

CLINT
You don’t even have customers!

ROY
So why did you use my face?

CLINT
It was a joke! Bit of camaraderie.
This one’s full of hot air, your
Honor.

JUDGE
(chuckling to himself)
Ho, I like it. Hot air, yes. Ahem.
Mr. Richards, will you elaborate?

CLINT
Please, Your Honor, call me Clint.

ROY
Pah! And what’s with the phony
name? We all know you were born
‘Horatio’, Horatio!

CLINT
Not true.

ROY
I was in your class.

Clint shakes his head.

ROY (CONT’D)
In P.T. they called you ‘No Show
Horatio the Cabaret Show’!

JUDGE
MR. ROY! Please! What is the charge
you wish to make against this man?

ROY
After purchasing some sort of hot
air balloon contraption -- no doubt
from a Mexican -- he painted my
face on the side and then hung it
up over my yard! My horses are in a
permanent shadow. It’s frightened
the life out of Old Nelly.

The Judge removes his spectacles and rubs his eyes.


7.

JUDGE
Mr. Richards, is this true?

CLINT
Your Honor, I am but a humble
businessman. You know I sell the
most affordable automobiles this
side of Dodge City.

Roy motions towards the jury to wrap this up.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Did I try a new way to advertise my
luxurious yet reasonably priced
vehicles to put an extra morsel on
the plate for the little ones? Of
course. But is that really a crime?

ROY
What little ones?!

JUDGE
(to Roy)
It’s over your premises?

ROY
Yes!

JUDGE
Mr. Richards?

CLINT
It’s the shadow only, I swear. The
sun moves around. Maybe the wind
takes it a little ways over the
fence.

JUDGE
Gentlemen, resolve your differences
- and stop wasting my time!

CLINT
Your Honor, we offer a discount for
those in legal power. You do a fine
job. Will we be seeing you later?

JUDGE
Well, yes, thank you. Very kind.

Roy shakes his head in disbelief.

JUDGE (CONT’D)
Dismissed!

He WHACKS his gavel against the desk.


8.

EXT. MAIN STREET - LATER

In the dusty Main Street of this Pioneer town, Roy’s


ramshackle business - “Roy’s Used Horses” is dwarfed by
Clint’s fancy “Automobiles” Showroom next door. Roy has a
solitary black mare in his forecourt, while Clint is
polishing one of a dozen, beautiful, black Stanley Steamers.

A FORECLOSURE NOTICE from the bank has been hammered into a


post in Roy’s yard and wrapped with a few turns of tight
string. Roy is struggling to untie the knot.

A white, oblong-shaped air balloon is tethered in Clint’s


yard but the wind has taken it over Roy’s stables, plunging
it in a permanent shadow. On one side of the balloon is a
caricature of Roy’s face next to a pile of manure, with the
caption “Don’t be a horse’s a**, drive an automobile today!”

Further up the street, a DRUNKEN COWBOY stumbles out of the


saloon. While at the butcher’s shop, a young lady with a
short bob and blood-stained overalls, JANE (20), offers a
tray of offal to feed a few local strays.

A LITTLE ORPHAN BOY in rags is racing carelessly towards the


showroom pushing a large metal hoop, chased by a scruffy
stray mutt. Clint jumps out into his path.

CLINT
Watch the motors! Mush, kid!

Clint clips him behind the ear and kicks the wheel away.

ORPHAN BOY
Hey, mister!

The little orphan chases after the wobbly hoop -- into the
path of a galloping POSTAL HORSE RIDER. Roy darts out and
grabs the boy by the collar as the horse rears and WHINNIES.

POSTAL RIDER
Out of my way, vagrant!

Roy is WHIPPED repeatedly across the back by the angry rider


before he surges onward. A battered Roy drops the boy who
skips away without a thought. Roy nurses his back.

ROY
Son of a sheep farmer!

Across the wide street, two toothless OLD TIMERS (BEN and
JERRY) in dungarees are sat on a bench outside their empty
watch-repair shop, enjoying the daily drama.

SEAN MACGOWAN (20s), Roy’s hired help, stands in front of the


foreclosure notice. Ginger hair, Irish accent but with a
unique Native American Indian twang, baggy shirt and leather
chaps. He squints as he tries his best to read.
9.

SEAN
For -- Eric -- the loose -- is
sure? No ticks.

Roy limps back and tries to hush him as a WELL TO-DO COUPLE
(mid 30s) stroll down Main Street. They are careful to avoid
a trail of manure outside Roy’s place.

Roy hobbles to their side and tries to keep up. He rummages


around in his chaps and removes a tub of lard ointment.

ROY
Ma’am, you look like a lady of fine
riding. Let me tell you, this
ointment here not only prevents
nasty rashes and raw saddle sores
but keeps the horse flies away too!

The delicate lady gasps and fans her face. The gentleman
frowns at Roy as they quicken their pace.

Clint approaches the couple with a cup of tea somehow already


in hand for the lady.

CLINT
Please accept my apologies for any
rudeness caused by undesirables on
this street...

As she accepts it, he pulls out a petite umbrella and POPS it


open over her head, then casually slides a pipe into the
gentleman’s mouth - and a match out of thin air to light it.

CLINT (CONT’D)
If you allow me, I believe I know
the perfect accessory for the man
about town and his handsome wife.

As he shepherds them into his showroom, he pretends to dry-


hump the woman’s large derriere from behind; goading Roy. He
flicks the match over to Roy’s yard.

Roy races over to a stack of hay to stomp out the flame.

ROY
It’s a fad! It’ll be over tomorrow.
What’s next - airships?!

The two Old Timers chuckle to themselves.

BEN
Terrible salesman.

JERRY
Good kid though.

BEN
Yep, Billy’s boy.
10.

INT. ROY'S YARD - CONTINUOUS

A BRITISH GENT is inspecting a comatose horse inside the


yard. Roy approaches cautiously.

ROY
Help you with anything?

BRITISH GENT
This - horse?

ROY
Yes, Tyson. A fine animal.

BRITISH GENT
Is he ... dead?

ROY
Good Heavens, no! Just listless.
Didn’t get much sleep last night -
probably too busy with the ladies,
if you know what I mean!

BRITISH GENT
There’s just ... a lot of flies.

ROY
Healthy manure attracts flies.

BRITISH GENT
And he hasn’t opened his eyes.

ROY
Not a fan of bright light.

BRITISH GENT
And he has a green tint to his
coat...

ROY
It’s a rare breed thing.

BRITISH GENT
May I?

He motions to get closer to the horse. Roy waves him on.

The Gent carefully approaches. He prods the animal - it


doesn’t respond. Sean silently sidles up alongside Roy.

The Gent kneels next to the head - and recoils instantly with
the smell. He looks to Roy for a prompt. Roy smiles
innocently. With a stick he tries to force the jaws open.

SEAN
‘Never look a gift horse in the
mouth’.
11.

Roy digs him in the ribs.

ROY
Sorry! Occupational humor.

The Gent stands up, agitated.

ROY (CONT’D)
Tell you what, I don’t normally do
this, but just for today I can
offer you a deal - two dollars AND
I throw in a new saddle!

Roy sticks out a hand. The British Gent pushes past.

BRITISH GENT
Good day, sir!

ROY
Woah, there! What’s the problem?

BRITISH GENT
You have to ask? You’re literally
trying to flog me a dead horse!

ROY
He’s not dead!

BRITISH GENT
There are rare-cooked steaks with
more life than that animal! All
it’s good for is glue, you couldn’t
even eat it!

ROY
Okay, I can see you’re good at this
negotiating business. Buyer power,
I get it. “You’ve twisted me arm,
Guv’nor” - one dollar, last chance.

BRITISH GENT
I’m not buying! Good day, sir!

He shakes the dust from his jacket and walks briskly away.

The two Old Timers chuckle from across the street.

Roy offers a casual wave over to their direction and sighs


with a heavy heart. Tyson the horse SNORTS loudly and slowly
lumbers up off the hay.

ROY
Yeah, very funny.

There’s a COUGH from an engine, then a HISS of steam. The


respectable couple drive out from Clint’s showroom on top a
shiny, new, Stanley Steamer shuddering uncomfortably.
12.

His wife catches Roy’s eye and this time waves a little
flirtatiously as they turn right, HONK the horn and exit.

Clint emerges from his showroom, counting a stack of dollar


bills. He waves after the couple as he sniffs the money.

CLINT
Ah, that smell. Unmistakable, ain’t
it?

ROY
I’ve smelt money before.

CLINT
No - success! You can smell it.

Roy rolls his eyes.

CLINT (CONT’D)
I should get you to prime all my
customers! You know, you’ve gotta
knack for that? You set the bar so
low. Whatcha say?

Roy waves him off as he trudges away up Main Street.

CLINT (CONT’D)
I’m kidding! Don’t be a sore loser!

He nods and waves across the street to the Old Timers.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Ben, Jerry.

The Old Timers don’t acknowledge him.

BEN
Bad kid.

JERRY
Never liked his father.

EXT. MAIN STREET - BANK - DAY

Roy stands outside the town’s two-story brick-built bank


hesitantly. He removes his hat and nervously runs fingers
around the brim.

He glances down to his well-worn boots and then over to a


Pawn Shop next door to the bank. He checks his pockets:
nothing but a broken spur and an old, gold ring that he grips
tightly. He takes a breath and steps forward.

INT. BANK - DAY

A little bell RINGS above the door as Roy reluctantly enters.


13.

Roy scans the floor: the manager’s occupied office looms to


one side while splitting the room is a wall-to-wall wooden
counter topped with ceiling-high glass and metal bars. Two
female TELLERs serve several patient CUSTOMERS.

Roy’s gaze lingers on an ominous, wide-open, iron vault


behind the barrier.

He keeps his head down as he approaches an attractive TELLER


(20s). The Teller looks up with a helpful smile, then her
expression changes when she recognizes Roy.

ROY
Now, just hear me out...

The BANK MANAGER (MR. DEBURGH, 50), a short balding man in a


woolen suit, holds up a hand to stop a talkative OLDER
GENTLEMAN at his desk. His chair SQUEALS as he pushes back.

MR. DEBURGH
I hoped I had made myself perfectly
clear when I said you were NOT
WELCOME BACK HERE!

The customers fall silent and melt away from Roy who can’t
match his gaze and keeps his head bowed.

MR. DEBURGH (CONT’D)


What is it now? Another loan? What
are you going to use as collateral?
Manure?! Tell me, come on, man to
man - what’s your next ‘wonderful’
business idea gonna be?

ROY
I just need a few days to--

MR. DEBURGH
Speak up, boy!

Roy turns to the other customers who are snickering at him.

MR. DEBURGH (CONT’D)


(he jabs a finger at Roy)
You’re nothing, Roy! I had a potato
for breakfast that’ll amount to
more than you. Pay back your loan
by sundown tomorrow - or get out of
town! For good!

Roy fixes on his hat and shies away to the front door.

MR. DEBURGH (CONT’D)


(higher pitched)
And stay away from my daughter!

There are hushed murmurs from the bank customers as Roy rests
a hand on the door - then pushes out into the sunlight.
14.

EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY

Up the street, the door to a General Store opens and out


steps PATTY DEBURGH (mid-20s), a beautiful brunette in the
latest, uncomfortable, European fashion.

She strolls down Main Street, snatching the attention of


every red-blooded male, even those who are married - each man
picking up a smack behind the ear from a jealous spouse.

Ben and Jerry sit up straight and remove their hats. Jerry,
the older of the two, licks his palms and greases back his
hair. There’s a WOLF-WHISTLE or two from the Old Timers.

Several horses in Roy’s stable perk up. Old Nelly, a regal


black mare, pushes forward and leans over her fence. Patty
hesitates and looks around before approaching.

Old Nelly nuzzles against Patty affectionately.

PATTY
(offering a sugar cube)
How you doin’, old girl? That ol’
rogue not takin’ care of you?

Roy, head down and distracted, turns into his yard -- and
stops dead. His eyes first flick back towards the bank - then
to the car showroom next door, then narrow.

ROY
Well, well, can’t keep away, huh?

Patty turns on her heels and picks up her skirts.

PATTY
No, I ... how dare you! I have a
mind to report you, you can’t even
take care of yourself, never mind
an animal!

ROY
Please. They’re toilet trained and
live better lives than most of the
men in this town.

EXT. OLD TIMERS’ BENCH

Ben and Jerry use large metal ear trumpets to snoop on the
conversation.

BEN
Aye, it’s true that.

JERRY
Ain’t made it to the outhouse in
time in years!
15.

INT. ROY'S YARD

Patty glares at Roy. He hangs his hat on a hook and shakes


loose his dirty hair. Patty scrunches her nose.

ROY
Yeah, get a good look. Anything to
help you sleep better at night.

PATTY
Pah! I’d sooner kiss Old Nelly!

Clint cautiously steps inside and grabs Patty by the waist.

CLINT
Patty! What a wonderful surprise!

He picks her up and twirls her around. Patty is taken aback


and fights him until she is dropped. Clint leans in for more
but she turns her cheek.

PATTY
Clint, not in public!

CLINT
Can’t blame a guy for tryin’!
Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes!
You look ravishing. Roy! Tell her
she looks ravishing.

Patty turns to Roy. Roy can only turn away.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Too shy this one with the ladies
out of his league - he prefers the
ones that don’t gotta lot to say.
Isn’t that right, compadre?

(to Patty, hushed)


Come on, just walk away. I don’t
know why you insist on stoppin’ by
this place? I told you, you don’t
need to be polite round here.

He takes her by the hand and leads her out into the street.

Sean appears by Roy’s side, using a cloth to clean his hands.

SEAN
Oh, that wee cracker! Lasses love
da money and fast cars. Why’d she
swap for dis poor white cowboy?

ROY
As usual, my confused little
friend, you’re way off the mark.
Can’t stand the sight of her.
16.

INT./EXT. ROY'S YARD/MAIN STREET

They watch as the Bank Manager with his elegant and taller
WIFE on his arm greet Clint and Patty in the middle of the
street and exchange polite pleasantries.

Mr. Deburgh hands to Patty a large envelope. She opens it


apprehensively, peaks inside then claps excitedly - and hugs
her father instinctively. As she turns to her mother, Mr.
Deburgh shakes Clint’s hand and gives him a knowing nod.

Clint clears his throat -- then gets down on one knee and
holds out a ring. Patty turns in surprise, and is overcome by
the rock -- and the pressure. Her parents beam supportively.
Patty smiles politely as she calmly nods her response.

Clint jumps for joy and punches the air aggressively.

Mr. Deburgh’s smug glare then stretches over to Roy’s yard.


He catches Roy’s eye and taps his pocket watch threateningly.

Sean uses a bottle of turpentine to wash his skin.

ROY
Give me that!

Roy snatches it and takes a swig as the happy couples saunter


towards Clint’s showroom.

ROY (CONT’D)
I’m heading downtown. Hold the fort
while I’m gone.

SEAN
White Roy, my ancestors--

ROY
Your ‘ancestors’?

SEAN
Yes, ma ancestors hadda saying:
‘When a fox walks lame, da old
rabbit jumps’.

ROY
Sean, I ... have absolutely no idea
what goes on in that head. Give the
yard a sweep, the Rangers will pass
through soon. We need this sale!

Roy waves nonchalantly as he trudges off in the opposite


direction to Patty and Clint.

Sean looks around at the open plan yard, full of old tools
and older horses - until he is distracted by the butcher’s
assistant, Jane, offloading a tray of blood into the gutter.
He gazes at her longingly.
17.

INT. COUNTY JAIL - DAY

The SHERIFF is a gentle man, pushing 50 with his best law-


enforcing days behind him. Resting with his feet up and
reading a newspaper, he watches over three PRISONERS that sit
listlessly on a bench behind a wall-to-wall barricade of
bars: TED (40s, accountant), CLARENCE (80s, prospector) and
CRAZY KARL (30s, grizzled Texan/Mexican bandit).

One of the prisoners, Ted, starts a few notes of a mournful


TUNE on a harmonica, then breaks down in tears.

Roy stumbles inside. The Sheriff casually looks up from his


paper then quickly gets to his feet.

SHERIFF
No! No, Roy!

He grabs Roy by the shoulders.

SHERIFF (CONT’D)
Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate
the company, but people are
starting to ask questions! Just
last week we had another
‘accident’. It’s the prisoners,
see? When they hear your stories--

Roy waves him away and slumps into a chair next to the bars.

SHERIFF (CONT’D)
(scratching his beard)
I guess we are making a saving on
meals.

Roy nods to two of the convicts.

ROY
Ted. Clarence.
(motioning to the Sheriff)
This old stiff keeping you down?
(to Ted)
Who’s your friend?

Ted lowers his harmonica and carefully turns to the bandit in


the corner who sits silently, staring into nothing. He clears
his throat.

TED
They call him Crazy Karl.

ROY
(to the Bandit)
Why do they call you ‘Crazy Karl’,
Crazy Karl?

Crazy Karl snaps out of a trance and stares at Roy.


18.

CRAZY KARL
Meow.

ROY
I see.

The Sheriff gives up and falls into his seat. He glances over
to the well-stocked gun rack, shakes his head, then opens up
his newspaper.

Roy leans across to a shelf, takes a bottle of whiskey and a


glass from his stash there, and pours a healthy portion.

ROY (CONT’D)
Me and you boys - we’re the same!
Sure there’s bars here. And I bet
you did some horrible stuff. But if
you ever did get out we’d be pals!
(beat)
Not best friends, obviously. But
I’d never ditch you! Because we
have a connection.

He knocks back a shot, then gets comfortable in his chair.

ROY (CONT’D)
She’s going to leave him, you know?
I bet she will. Twenty years.
Thirty, tops. That’s all I give it.
I know exactly what y’all thinkin’:
I should feel sorry for that guy...

As he rambles, Ted looks from his shoelaces up to a little


hook at the top of the bars.

EXT. MAIN STREET - NIGHT

A drunken Roy stumbles down Main Street, swigging the last


drops from the whiskey bottle.

In the distance a fancy, black, German motor car RUMBLES idly


outside Clint’s showroom. Clint approaches, looking around
suspiciously, then hands over a padded envelope and shakes
hands with the driver.

The motor car ROARS down the street towards Roy.

A little stray dog darts out into the road.

Roy drops his bottle with a SMASH and grabs the mutt by the
scruff of its neck just in time as the motor speeds by.

ROY
Hey!! Yella-bellied boot-licker!

The DRIVER slams on the brakes. The car is idle before it


slowly reverses.
19.

The driver (RANGER LEVI ‘TEX’ BYRNE, 40) winds down the
window manually with some effort. He is mean, with a deep
scar down the length of his face and a glass eye.

Roy takes a step back.

RANGER TEX
Y’all oughta take better care round
here. I could have hit you. Maybe
next time... you won’t be so lucky.

Roy notices the padded envelope on the passenger seat,


stuffed full of $20 bills. A small fortune.

Ranger Tex Byrne looks Roy up and down. He reverses again,


then REVS the engine. He swerves towards Roy, forcing Roy to
jump back - this time into a pile of horse manure, then drops
a gear and races off down the street.

The little dog licks Roy, then jumps down and hurries away.

Roy steps out of the dirt. He picks up the bottle’s remains.

He paces down the street towards his yard. The wind has taken
the blimp directly over his property, again. The blimp slowly
turns to reveal the caricature of his face, taunting him.

Full of rage he hurls the broken bottle in his hand at the


blimp -- it tears a black hole through the fabric, right
through Roy’s shiny-white front teeth in the drawing.

ROY
Gotcha!

Slowly, gas starts to escape and the blimp deflates.

As it sways from side to side, a guide rope rubs against one


of the street lamps and CATCHES FIRE. Flames crawl up the
rope. Roy panics and picks up a bucket - he hurls it at the
rope, but whatever liquid was inside acts as an accelerant!

Flames RIP up the rope and the blimp IGNITES.

The burning fabric floats towards the stable -- until at the


last second the wind catches and it veers towards Clint’s
forecourt, where it smothers several cars.

Roy breathes out with relief, resting his hands on his knees.
He smiles, and stands up straight.

There’s a HISSING sound under the molten fabric.

Roy steps closer to Clint’s showroom to investigate.

Suddenly a car under the blimp’s tarpaulin EXPLODES.

Roy is thrown across Main Street from the blast.


20.

His horses BREAK free from their enclosure and STAMPEDE to


safety, their flimsy ropes barely held in place.

In succession, steam cars in Clint’s forecourt EXPLODE one


after the other. Fireworks of molten engine parts shoot up
into the night sky.

There’s a final, deafening EXPLOSION where the last remaining


cars ignite together as one.

A fire alarm bell is RINGING in the distance as TOWNSFOLK


rush out of their wooden homes.

Ben and Jerry, illuminated by the flames, have been watching


in amazement from their veranda. Wide-mouthed, not missing a
moment to blink, Ben drops his whiskey glass.

Old Nelly saunters over and licks Roy’s face to wake him up.

CUT TO:

INT. COUNTY JAIL - DAY

In the corner of the cell, Roy is slumped over the toilet


hatch. Crazy Karl is sat uncomfortably close to him. There is
a large gap on the bench before the other two prisoners.

Outside are muted shouts from a mob. Every so often something


SPLATS against the cell wall and small window.

The Sheriff BANGS a baton on the bars.

SHERIFF
Roy! You have a visitor.

Roy slowly stirs and turns around, hopeful.

Floorboards CREEK as the Judge paces towards the bars.

JUDGE
Are you courting me, Mr. Roy? I’m
beginning to spend more time with
you than I do my wife!

He beckons Roy closer to the bars. Roy doesn’t move.

JUDGE (CONT’D)
You’ve cost me a fine motor, boy.
We have you on drunk and disorderly
but confess to the theft and it
needn’t get any worse.
(beat)
What did you do with the money?

ROY
Wait, what? What money?
21.

JUDGE
Don’t play dumb, boy. There was a
wallet of cash, as you know. Hand
it over and I can make all this go
away with just a hundred hours of
community service. Maybe musical
lessons with those delinquent deaf
children outside’a town.

Roy is defiantly silent.

JUDGE (CONT’D)
I expected better from you. If
that’s how you want to play it?

He SNAPS his fingers as he turns to leave. Out of the shadows


at the back of the room, Ranger Tex Byrne emerges from the
darkness. The Sheriff jumps with fright.

The Ranger approaches the bars, his good eye fixed on Roy.

RANGER TEX
Sheriff, if y’all wouldn’t mind
giving us chaps a few moments to
getta know each other?

The Sheriff hesitantly turns to the Judge.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


Y’all can leave the keys on that
desk before you leave.

For a second the Sheriff refuses to oblige ... before he


lowers his head, drops the keys on the desk and leaves with
the Judge, unable to look Roy in the eye.

Silence as the door is closed shut.

The other prisoners shuffle closer together. Roy takes a deep


breath but stands statuesque. The Ranger smiles. He circles
the room, pocketing the keys, then casually studies some of
the dusty weapons on the walls.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


It’s a new world we’re living in. I
read this article in the paper -
‘The End of the Wild West’. Y’all
get the papers down here, right?

The prisoners glance over at a toilet-paper pile.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


This hack said it was down to two
things. Just two. Listening?
(beat)
Get this: ‘Barbed wire’ -- and the
‘motor car’. Can y’all believe it?
(MORE)
22.
RANGER TEX (CONT’D)
But, think ‘bout it - no more
frontier land, no more boundary
disputes. And, let me tell y’all,
it’s faster to chase down an outlaw
on an automobile than a horse!

ROY
Depends who sold you the horse.

The Ranger smiles, then approaches Roy. No matter how hard he


tries, Roy can’t help but stare at the glass eye.

RANGER TEX
I heard my predecessor, Blackfoot,
used’ta buy horses when he passed
through town? But times are-a-
changin’. You’re in the wrong
century, boy. Automobiles? That’s
the future. Blackfoot retired, left
to take up a more respectable post
with the Pinkertons two towns over.
I’m the Law now. Stretch your hands
through. Have we been introduced?

Roy shakes his head and stretches his hands through the bars.

ROY
I never forget a face. My father
said I had an eye for detail.

Prisoner Ted stares wide-eyed at an oblivious Roy, as Ranger


Tex SLAPS chains onto his wrists.

RANGER TEX
My name is Ranger Levi Byrne, but
most folks call me Tex. That car
salesman? He’s outside now. Tryin’
to get him a hangin’. He claims you
stole his money - then destroyed
his cars to cover it up. The Bank
Manager was up at the crack of dawn
to file some sorta insurance claim.
Quite a tidy sum too, so I heard.

Two other RANGERS, the lean ‘COLT’ TRICKLE (60) and heavy-set
JESSE WHEELER (40) shove open the door to the jail. Menacing
men with weathered faces under Stetsons. Both dressed in
black with 5-peso lone-star badges on their lapels.

Ranger Tex takes a piece of paper out of his jacket pocket


and hands it to Roy.

INSERT

Advertisement for the Stanley Steamer. Written on the back:

‘Please accept this gift for our hard working Texas law
enforcers to help you choose your next supplier.
23.

Do NOT buy any animals from that miscreant next door.’ -


signed, Clint Richards Automobiles.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


(whispering, to Roy)
I know you saw the money. I can use
a man like you. Someone on the
inside who knows when to button his
lip. The Judge said your family had
... skills?

ROY
We’re in a different line of work
now.

The Ranger glances down to Roy’s worn clothes and then across
to the toilet seat - unscrewed on one side.

Ranger Wheeler slumps down at the Sheriff’s desk - it SQUEALS


as he pushes back to create more room. Ranger Colt relaxes
near the bars and SHARPENS a pencil with a knife.

RANGER TEX
You’re a little fish. Insurance
fraud? Now that’s a payday. Some
folk wouldn’t hack a day in here.
And with these old jails, anything
can happen: doors left open, law
enforcement look the other way ...
doors left open. And, let me tell
ya, folk ALWAYS run from the Law.

Colt sketches on a piece of paper. Tex BANGS on the bars.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


Let me break this down. You boys
paying attention? Tell me, bean-
counter, what is an ‘outlaw’?

The accountant clears his throat.

TED
Sir, good Boss, sir. Captain? Sir -
an outlaw is outside the protection
of the law, he be withdrawn all--

RANGER TEX
Well, look at that. We have a
reader! See, when someone happens
t’run, Roy, any good citizen is
legally bound to walk up ... and
blow their brains out. They could
do it in church on a Sunday morning
- and they would be untouchable! In
fact, the State would owe them a
debt of gratitude. We keep things
clean, we want to avoid all that.
24.

The accountant rocks backwards and forwards, shaking.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


(to Roy)
So we have a duty. To keep up with
demand for runaways we print wanted
posters from a press. Horse drawn.
We were hoping to franchise this
operation with a few automobiles,
but seems you put pay to that.

He snaps his fingers and Colt offers him a Wanted Poster -


with an uncanny likeness of Roy drawn in the frame.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


Dead or alive. We’re literally
printing money! One poster, all it
takes. But this doesn’t work if the
mark is standing right outside the
jail house, does it? If we were to
turn the tables and someone helped
us get a bigger fish - a more
popular fish - outta town for a
chase, say to the second mile
marker on the main road out west?

He rips Roy’s Wanted Poster in half.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


Well, that would even the score.
When the other man is caught
escapin’ maybe that fiancée of his
will find love again? Appreciate
her father kept out of trouble, go
all weak at the knees. If you were
her, what would YOU do for that?

ROY
Suppose I’d give my right--

The other Rangers stop what they’re doing - no more pencil


scratching, the prisoners hold their breath. Even Crazy Karl
turns to stare at him! Roy shuts his mouth, gulps and nods.

Ranger Tex fits the key into the cell door’s lock.

RANGER TEX
Gold, fate, love, hate. People run
from all sorts-a stuff. Either ways
with us or against us, when the sun
comes up ... you’d best be runnin’.

EXT. OUTSIDE COUNTY JAIL

Clint is whipping up the good citizens of the town to air


their grievances against Roy. He is using a wooden megaphone
to test out some questionable chants.
25.

The Lead Ranger, flanked by his men, holds up a hand to


silence the crowd. Roy apprehensively steps out of the
unlocked jail and waits to one side. Tex smiles.

RANGER TEX
After some deliberatin’, we’ve
decided there has been a serious
miscarriage of justice!

He UNLOCKS Roy’s handcuffs as the crowd gasp and murmur.

CLINT
What?! Boo! Boo!!

RANGER TEX
The real criminal has set up this
poor fellow to take the fall for a
more heinous crime! This feckless
individual was just in the wrong
place, at the wrong time. The real
criminal is standin’ among you now!

The crowd look about each other suspiciously. Tex pushes


through the rabble, studying each man carefully.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


Someone hidin’ in plain sight - a
respectable citizen. A school
teacher, a Bible student, a Judge
... or maybe ... a Car Salesman?

The crowd gasp. Clint starts to sweat and fumble his words as
Tex approaches and rests a strong arm on his shoulder.

CLINT
I don’t see how...? We had an
agreement!

RANGER TEX
Good citizens of ... whatever your
place is called. I use the powers
invested in me by the State of
Texas to arrest this man on
suspicion of arson, fraud, slander
-- and false witness. Sheriff!

The Sheriff approaches cautiously. Tex smiles deviously.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


Take this degenerate away.

Clint desperately tries to hold onto Patty.

CLINT
Don’t let them take me, Patty!
26.

Patty screams as Clint drags her with him. Tex WHACKS Clint
over the head with a baton, rendering him unconscious. The
Sheriff and other citizens heave his body to the jail house.

Roy, massaging his wrists, slowly makes his way through the
crowd. To one side, Patty is in tears, comforted by her
parents, her father red-faced and sweating. Roy can’t help
but be moved by her raw emotion.

Rangers Colt and Wheeler flank their leader at the jail door
as their gaze follows Roy.

RANGER COLT
(to Ranger Tex)
You really think he’ll go for this,
Capt’n?

RANGER TEX
He was five minutes away from
escapin’ through the John. He’s
still got it. He’ll give us a run
for our money.

There is a CRASH from inside the cell. Followed by a ‘meow’.

INT. ROY’S YARD - LATER

Roy steps over the wreckage in his yard. Broken posts,


charred hay and a few horses racing up and down Main Street
chased by Sean MacGowan and Jane, the Butcher’s assistant.

Sean stops when he sees Roy and approaches apologetically.

SEAN
White boss man. Your slave--

ROY
(shaking his head)
Worker--

SEAN
--is humble. Like a fox in a field.
Slave--

ROY
Worker--

SEAN
--walks to dat old man in the iron
cage. ‘Old man! Let me see white
boss man’. He say ‘No!’ And then he
say many more things. Then your--

ROY
Employee--
27.

SEAN
--he goes to get help. But no one
helps! Then de horses run away. No
one likes boss man, not even de
horses. Aye, they say life is
better in the desert with no water!

Roy picks up some of his badly tied knots and dumps them on a
workbench. The centerpiece of the bench is a ragged, framed,
WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE POSTER of his father, BILLY WOOD (40),
with the stump of a candle mournfully before it.

ROY
The horses told you that?

SEAN
With an accent. But your slave he
stay with dis white boss man. Ah,
there be dis gorgeous gal, she
likes de fast cars for sure. So
I’ll be askin’ for a raise to
impress ma fine lady friend...

ROY
(to the poster)
Sorry, Pop. I tried.

He flips the frame face-down and rests his head against the
bench. His hands reach around - then suddenly BREAK apart one
side. He yanks out a drawer completely, throwing it aside. He
reaches inside and removes a dusty leather-bound book.

ROY (CONT’D)
Sean MacGowan, since you first
showed yourself round here asking
for a job you’ve been the only one
who’s been loyal. Except that time
you tried to sell the yard. But
other than that you’ve been loyal!
Here, I’ve got something...

Sean’s eyes grow wide expecting the mysterious book. Instead


Roy grabs a huge, ornamental, rusty key hanging from a stable
post and tosses it to Sean.

ROY (CONT’D)
The place is yours - until it’s
repossessed. All the furnishings
... and a few debts. Do with it
what you like. I’m done. There is
NOTHING keeping me here anymore.

Sean looks around the yard as Roy grabs a saddle and slings
it onto his shoulder.

ROY (CONT’D)
I’m taking Nelly and Burrito, the
rest are yours.
28.

Sean doesn’t move. Roy grows agitated.

ROY (CONT’D)
I mean it this time! I’m serious!
This time it’s different, I won’t
be back!

SEAN
Boss - ma people dey say: ‘Coyote
is out there waiting’; ‘One finger
cannot lift a pebble--’

ROY
Sean - you have ginger hair for
crying out loud! Go - live your
life! Maybe ask your ‘ancestors’ a
few uncomfortable questions I’m
dying to know! I’m finished - I’m
sorry. Tell Patty...
(beat)
Tell Patty to get out of town. It’s
not safe. I’m going to fix this.

Roy edges away as Jane (in baggy dungarees and a cowboy hat
covering her short bob) leads Tyson’s reins over to the yard.

ROY (CONT’D)
(nodding in appreciation)
So long, Jim.

JANE
It’s ... Jane.

Roy grunts and looks her up and down - ‘sure, sure’.

EXT. MAIN STREET - NIGHT

The jail house is illuminated by a few street lights. A lone


coyote HOWLS somewhere in the distance.

INT. JAIL CELL

The Sheriff is resting with his feet up on the table, hat


over his eyes. A single gas light illuminates the room.

Outside, the YAPPING of a little stray dog disturbs the


silence. The stray soon SCRATCHES at the door.

The Sheriff cautiously opens his eyes. He checks his pistol.


Ted and Clarence are resting with their heads back, asleep;
while Clint is curled up in the fetal position on the bench,
with Crazy Karl uncomfortably close and wide awake.

The Sheriff keeps a hand on the weapon in its holster as he


opens the door.
29.

The little stray Roy rescued is waiting patiently and wagging


its tail. It melts the Sheriff’s heart. He can’t help himself
as he cuddles and fusses over the little animal.

Meanwhile, a length of fuse is fed through the cell window


between the bars. It loops down, off the bench, then after a
twist takes a right turn and veers towards the hole in the
ground where the toilet used to be, then drops into it.

The prisoners wake up and stare at the fuse with suspicion.

A match is STRUCK outside the cell window. Then a FIZZ and


SPARKLE can be heard.

The Sheriff stops fussing over the little dog and approaches
the cell door - as the spark in the fuse jumps over the wall.

Pandemonium hits the prisoners. They jump up and race to the


bars - RATTLING them violently as they plead for help.

The Sheriff falls over himself trying to grab the keys. He


fumbles but can’t find the right one for the lock.

The fuse jumps down to the bench and then to the floor.

Finally the correct key is turned and the door opened.

The Sheriff is knocked over as the four prisoners rush out.

All five in the room look on helplessly as the fuse SPARKLES


and then descends into the hole in the ground.

In horror they dive to the floor and cover their heads.

Silence.

Cautiously, the Sheriff is the first to rise.

Relief hits them. Smiles break over their faces. They hug
each other with a little embarrassment and share a laugh.

All five slowly approach the cell bars to investigate.

KABAM!

A hidden stick of dynamite in the toilet hole sends a brown


force of feces and sludge up and out. It covers all four
walls - and plasters the occupants. The Sheriff falls to his
knees and retches violently.

Unable to see or hear he crawls to the front door, shouting


and waving with his arms to attract attention - and to
protect himself from anybody nearby.

Clint is a quivering wreck. Ted sits frozen, in shock. Old


Clarence is confused, tapping his ears while Crazy Karl, sat
cross-legged, sniffs his arms and grooms himself.
30.

A SHADOW enters the main door and glides through the room
avoiding any hotspots with ease. Dressed in black, with a
black bandana over his face, he stops with Clint at his feet.

He wraps a thick rope around Clint’s hands then hauls the


salesman to his feet and leads him out. Clint is coughing and
spluttering, unable to see and tripping over furniture.

The rope knot slips out and Clint falls face forward. The
Shadow mutters, then drags Clint by his collar out the door.

EXT. MAIN STREET

Clint is dropped to the dust of the street.

CLINT
Please, sir! I’m innocent!
(beat)
More or less. My ... my father-in-
law, he has money! Take him! He can
help you! Please, just let me live!

Roy, the Shadow, makes a CLICKING noise to summon a horse to


their position - Old Nelly. All across Main Street gas lights
spark into life behind closed curtains.

Clint starts to whine uncontrollably.

Roy grabs Clint’s collar and hauls him to his feet then coils
a rope around his body several times. The wailing grows
louder. Roy SLAPS him, hard -- Clint, frozen, checks out.

Roy uses the saddle as a pulley to dump Clint on Old Nelly.


He double-taps the horse’s rump and it gallops away.

He whistles and a second horse, Burrito, appears.

The three other prisoners stumble out of the jail. The feces
has dried to their clothes making their movements confined.
They stagger forward, like zombies.

A SPANISH LADY in a nearby shopfront screams, crosses herself


and barricades the door. The town’s Drunken Cowboy tries to
get up off the ground, bottle in hand, but loses his balance.

Roy swings up onto his horse and grabs the reins. He catches
sight of the three desperate men but shakes his head in
disgust and whips the horse quickly to make a getaway.

EXT. OLD TIMERS’ BENCH

Jerry is tying his belt as he saunters back round to the


bench. Ben is dumbstruck.

JERRY
What? What?! Did I miss sumpin'?
31.

EXT. SALOON VERANDA

A CRACKLE as a match illuminates a cigar in the shadows. The


three Rangers have been waiting patiently, watching the
escape.

Ranger Tex blows out a few circles of smoke and smiles.

RANGER TEX
Well, that’s fine as cream gravy.
Crank up the press, boys!

EXT. MAIN STREET - DAWN

A wanted poster is HAMMERED into place on a wooden post.

INSERT

Wanted - Reward. Clint Richards. Also known as Horatio.


$1000. Wanted Dead or Alive.

A small crowd has already gathered.

The Bank Manager pushes forward and studies the poster, his
fingers linger worryingly over the words ‘dead or alive’.

EXT. CREEK - DAY

Roy rides alongside Clint - still doubled-over the saddle of


Old Nelly, and held in place by pots, pans, rugs and various
junk - all Roy’s worldly belongings.

They slow when they reach a sign that reads ‘Don’t rush out
of town! Next stop - 6 miles’. Both horses look up to him.

Roy takes heavy breaths as his world starts to spin.

He veers to one side and down a ridge to shallow water at the


edge of a creek. Roy tumbles off his horse, fills his
canteen, and pours it over his face.

Roy can’t hold his nose any longer. He looks around, pulling
Old Nelly closer to the creek. He yanks on the saddle’s strap
and Clint falls into the water.

He sits up with a gasp, catching his breath.

ROY
(tosses him a rag)
You might want to use this, clean
some of that bean soup off.

Clint smells his hands and recoils instantly. Sitting in the


cold water, he can’t catch his breath and the tears flow.
32.

ROY (CONT’D)
Pull yourself together, ‘compadre’.
You’ll be smelling of roses in no
time.

CLINT
You! You’ve taken everything from
me!

He gets to his feet, with menace in his eyes.

ROY
Now, Horatio - Clint! Don’t do
anything stupid!

Clint charges at him. Roy tries to get away, not wanting to


be touched. Clint manages to grapple him and they both fall
into the water.

They wrestle, and somehow Clint gets a good right hook in.

ROY (CONT’D)
No, please - your hands! Don’t
touch me!

CLINT
You will pay for this!

Clint claws at Roy’s face. Roy loses his balance. Clint dives
on top and manages to keep Roy’s head under the water.

CLINT (CONT’D)
That’s for my cars!

Bubbles rise to the surface. Clint pushes down more.

CLINT (CONT’D)
That’s for my reputation!

Roy kicks frantically but can’t shake him.

CLINT (CONT’D)
And this is for my chance to run as
Grandmaster of the Masonic Lodge!

Roy struggles until his hands start to lose their grip. Clint
keeps his weight pushing down on Roy.

Suddenly a GUN SHOT hits the water near Clint’s feet.

Clint falls back in shock, looking around for the shooter.


Roy’s lifeless body floats to the surface, face down.

Two horses scramble down the ridge to the waters edge. As


they approach, one rider jumps from the steed and runs,
SPLASHING through the water.
33.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Patty!

Patty, stunning even in long-skirt riding gear, pushes past


and drags Roy out from the water. His face is blue.

PATTY
Roy! Look at me!

She SLAPS his face for a reaction.

CLINT
Exactly! Get a few shots in!

Patty pinches Roy’s nose and composes herself.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Love, I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve
been thinkin’ - maybe it’s a good
time to move ... wait, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?!

Patty gives Roy the kiss of life.

CLINT (CONT’D)
NO!! Please, woman, NO!

Patty gives Roy a second breath of air. This time he opens


his eyes and hacks water from his lungs. Clint stands open-
mouthed.

Roy, on his back, looks up at the angelic vision before him -


then comes to his senses and spits, cleaning his mouth with
his sleeve. Patty dumps him back in the water.

CLINT (CONT’D)
I don’t understand!

Roy shakes it off and slowly gets to his feet.

ROY
Listen, I--

She SLAPS him, hard. It knocks him completely over.

PATTY
How could you make a deal with the
Devil to save yourself? Those
Rangers wanted a prize target - a
better target! So what happens now?
You’ve destroyed Clint’s business,
ruined his reputation and won’t
rest until you take his life too?

CLINT
Thank you! Someone said it!

Roy stumbles to his feet.


34.

ROY
I am NOT in league with those law
men! You really want to know what
happened? Yes, they offered me a
deal. And sort-of pretty-much said
if I didn’t take it, they’d come
after your Old Man too!
(beat)
And some other stuff where we all
agreed you’d be a little more
appreciative!

Patty lines up a straight right but Roy ducks.

ROY (CONT’D)
I don’t owe ‘Clint’ anything. What
happened was an accident! He made
it worse by telling everyone I
stole his money!

PATTY
I don’t believe you. They’d come
after Pop? Whatever for?!

ROY
Right, not in so many words. But
basically, yes! Something those two
concocted.
(pointing at Clint)
Tell them!

CLINT
I don’t know what you’re talking
about, you bare-faced liar.

Clint takes off his boot, a gloop of brown sludge oozes out.

Roy fumbles in his pockets and takes out the letter from
Clint to the Rangers. He hands it over to Patty. Clint’s face
drops when she starts to read it.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Wait - oh, you mean THAT money! No,
well, it was a deposit--

PATTY
That money was a gift, for a plot
of land ... to build a home. I’m
sure Clint didn’t mean to--

ROY
Your fancy man is not a ‘good’ man,
but your Old Man still thinks he’s
better than me! I’m risking my life
here! Clint wouldn’t have lasted
the night in there!
35.

Roy wrings the water out of his hat and stomps away. Patty
folds away the paper, considering Clint with fresh eyes. She
rinses a delicate handkerchief and offers it to him.

CLINT
Not until you use that rag to clean
your mouth! I’d rather be covered
in filth than have him on my woman.

PATTY
Your ‘woman’?

CLINT
You heard.

She shoves Clint back into the water and tosses the wet rag
onto his head.

Roy sheepishly approaches Sean MacGowan, still wrestling with


their horses and trying to pull them closer to the creek.

ROY
Sean, about before...

Sean quits heaving and grabs Roy in an awkward man-hug.

SEAN
White Roy, ma people say ‘Do not
judge your neighbor until you walk
two moons in his moccasins.’

ROY
How did you get here so quick?

SEAN
(pointing at Clint)
You traveled upwind.

ROY
But - what about the yard?

SEAN
I sub-contract. You still pay me.

EXT. ROY'S YARD - DAY

Ben and Jerry are stood outside Roy’s yard reading a hastily
scribbled note, scratching their beards.

INSERT

‘Pleze luk afta horzez’


36.

EXT. DUSTY ROAD - DAY

Two menacing German automobiles are tearing up the road in


the desert heat. Ranger Tex sticks his arm out the open
window and tosses a spent cigar. Wheeler follows in a
matching model convertible.

Tex steps on the gas. The engine REVS and needle jumps as the
car accelerates leaving a trail of dust. They pass a sign for
McKinney.

CUT TO:

EXT. CREEK / TERRAIN - DAY

Sean is leading the fugitives with a compass too close to his


metal belt buckle, the needle is spinning randomly.

Roy rides alongside, sweating nervously, using his hat as a


fan. A vulture circles high above. Roy keeps glancing back
towards the county line.

Patty and Clint follow at a distance, whispering.

CLINT
I swear, that money was a loan!
It’s a business thing, you wouldn’t
understand. I did it for you. For
us! You have to trust me with these
things. Just like your father does.

Patty nods uncertainly and forces a smile.

CLINT (CONT’D)
(re: Roy)
Look at him. Tryin’ to act like a
cowboy. You know what this is? He’s
holdin’ me hostage, that’s what!
Wants some of the action! Who knows
what that deviant has in mind.
Wouldn’t put it past his little
friend to try and eat us alive!

Patty tries to hush him.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Ask him where he’s takin’ us. Go
on, he might talk to you.

After a nudge from Clint she giddies her horse and approaches
Roy a little nervously, fidgeting her hat in hand.

PATTY
So, we were just wonderin’, what’s
the plan?

A distracted Roy massages his jaw.


37.

ROY
Maybe I shouldn’t trust you. What’s
the reward up to now?

PATTY
I’ll hold out until they double it.

Clint looks at them, back and forth, and frowns.

CLINT
And ...? The plan?

ROY
Right. The plan. Well, the Ranger
mentioned that Blackfoot was two
towns over. We’ll keep off the
roads until then.

PATTY
Blackfoot? Where exactly is that?

ROY
Not a place. An ex law-man. But not
like the others. He was like a
father to me after Dad ...
departed. He was always round the
orphanage. Was popular with the
nuns. The Rangers said he’s back
with the Pinkertons again.

CLINT
That’s your plan? To ask him?!

PATTY
So we reach these Pinkertons, and
they’ll give us protection and a
fair trial? Help turn the tables on
those rogue Rangers?

ROY
Heavens, no. But Blackfoot will
know how to get across the border.

PATTY
Canada?

Roy shakes his head. Patty looks down.

CLINT
Two towns over? Garland? Fort
Worth? McKinney?

ROY
Yes.

CLINT
‘Yes’ what?!
38.

SEAN
White Boss never left town, he
don’t know.

CLINT
What?!

ROY
That’s not - that’s not true! When
I was young, with my father, we’d
roam all these places.

SEAN
Thirty years ago.

ROY
Well, it’s been a while--

Clint turns his horse around.

SEAN
White Roy has a plan! My tribe have
a home a little ways north, not far
for man on horse. They have water,
food ... telegram.

CLINT
A telegram service?!

SEAN
Aye, post is not so grand. We hide
from angry white men, and send a
message.

CLINT
That’s it, I’m going back! Just try
and stop me! Patty!

The shadow of a menacing MAN in a Stetson is watching from


beyond a high ridge, silhouetted by the sun.

There’s a cascade of loose boulders from the ridge, each


stone bouncing with a CRACK like a gun shot.

SEAN
THEY BE FIRING AT US!

Sean gallops away without a thought for the others.

ROY
We have to follow him - I don’t
know where he lives!

PATTY
Roy!

She motions towards Clint’s mount - still facing the wrong


way. Roy grits his teeth, trots back and grabs the reigns.
39.

CLINT
No! Stop!

Clint swats him away unsuccessfully then turns in the saddle,


poised to jump off the rear.

CLINT (CONT’D)
We’re all going to die! What if I
liked it in the cell? Our country
is based on a firm judicial system
and fair trial for--

ROY
Oh shut up, Horatio. The minute you
step back in town they’ll hang you.
They know you bribe the Judge, too.

Clint shuts up, indignant.

PATTY
Quit your bickering, let’s move!

Roy SLAPS Burrito’s rump. They hold on tight as their horses


GALLOP through the clearing, darting past sharp cacti. Nelly
tries to shake off Clint, who picks up a cut at each turn.

CLINT
I HATE horses!

CUT TO:

EXT. TEXAS TERRAIN - DUSK

Sean leads the others through the rough terrain, all the
while stalked by a shadowy presence. Roy looks back as a
force of habit, anxiously.

Sean studies the signs:

QUICK MONTAGE:

--formation of clouds,

--flock of birds migrating south,

--dew on leaves,

--moss on stones,

--the shape of a footprint,

--animal tracks in pairs,

--bent twigs.

END MONTAGE
40.

EXT. WILD PLAINS - DAY

On foot, the posse drag their weary horses through a field of


tall grass towards a steep, green incline.

SEAN
Just over de next hill.

Roy grimaces as Patty and Clint stare daggers at him.

ROY
Don’t worry - it’s his ancestral
home, he knows the place like the
back of--

Sean tumbles head over heels.

Sean looks up - and is face to face with SHAKEY STEVENS (40s)


a sun-stroked cowboy with Tourettes - squatting near a bush.

SHAKEY
Well, pleasure to meet you! Just
let me finish up here.

He pinches as a sludge of brown plops into a little hole.

Sean backs up as fast as he can - and tumbles again, he looks


around -- to find a decomposing body of an old miner, propped
up in the sitting position.

SHAKEY (CONT’D)
(to his dead friend)
Now Ned, stop gettin’ in the way!

He quickly ties his belt and offers his hand to Roy. Patty
and Clint stare in horror at the dirty hand. Unsure how to
react Roy offers a half-hearted handshake.

SHAKEY (CONT’D)
Name is Stevens, but my friends
call me Shakey. We don’t get many
visitors out here, do we Ned?!

Roy can’t stop rubbing his hand clean. Clint stares at the
lifeless miner’s body.

CLINT
Why does he only have seven
fingers?

SHAKEY
And three toes.

CLINT
What?

ROY
We were just on our way to...
41.

SHAKEY
Food!

ROY
We really can’t stay.

SHAKEY
No trouble.

ROY
We don’t want to intrude.

SHAKEY
Would be our pleasure.

ROY
We need to hit the road...

SHAKEY
Sit!

ROY
Okay.

They all sit obediently.

SHAKEY
So what brings you down our neck of
the woods?

He has a dinner plate already somehow prepared with pieces of


burnt, once-brown meat that he passes round. The others
gingerly take and stare at a piece each. Sean offers the
plate to Ned, until Roy grabs it. Roy is last to choose.

SHAKEY (CONT’D)
Not that one!

He knocks it out of Roy’s hands.

SHAKEY (CONT’D)
I have just the one for you!
(to Ned)
I know, I know! You were lookin’
forward to it!
(aside, to Roy)
He was lookin’ forward to it.

Shakey takes a drumstick out of his pocket and brushes off a


piece of dirt. He licks it up and down, then sticks it into
Roy’s hand. He beams a smile and motions for Roy to taste it.

Roy raises it slowly to his lips. Patty and Clint shake their
heads vehemently. He lowers it, and Shakey scowls. Roy raises
it again, Shakey’s expression softens and he beams with
unbridled joy.
42.

Roy bites a morsel, not letting his lips go near the meat and
chews slowly. Shakey waits for his verdict.

ROY
(through gritted teeth)
Hmm. So tasty!

Patty retches a little. Clint nods in respect.

ROY (CONT’D)
Wait ... rabbit?

Shakey nods enthusiastically.

ROY (CONT’D)
Oh, that’s a relief! I thought ...
nevermind.

In the background Sean prods Ned.

PATTY
Mr. Stevens - your hospitality is
appreciated, but we do need to ask
a favor. Sean?

Sean is expressionless.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Right, well we’re looking for a
homestead over this ways. A ranch?

Shakey shakes his head.

SHAKEY
You’ll never make it alive.

Patty shifts back instinctively. Shakey smiles.

SHAKEY (CONT’D)
The hills! They’re booby-trapped.

Clint rolls his eyes. He starts to get up.

SHAKEY (CONT’D)
(to Ned)
I know, I tried to warn ‘em!

SEAN
(to Roy, re: Ned)
I think he’s dead!

Roy ignores him.

ROY
Mr. Stevens, we need to--

Shakey gets to his feet, fascinated by Sean. He rests a hand


on Sean’s chest.
43.

SHAKEY
Your aura! Friend ... be true to
yourself. Trust your instincts, and
you will find your way home.

Sean nods reverently as Roy hustles him away.

CUT TO:

EXT. WILD PLAINS - DAY

Roy and his posse lead their horses as one through the field.
Shakey stands in the distance, watching them go. Roy laughs
to himself.

ROY
Booby traps.

A little rabbit hops along a short distance away when


suddenly there’s an almighty EXPLOSION and the rabbit is shot
a hundred feet into the air by dynamite.

The posse stand still as chunks of charred brown meat fall


round about them.

Without a word they funnel into a single line following Sean


and carefully pad their way through the field.

EXT. WOODED AREA - DUSK/NIGHT

On his knees, Sean picks up a little piece of animal dung,


breaks it in half, licks it ... contemplates the flavor, then
spits it back out.

ROY
What is it now?

SEAN
We must go back.

ROY
The Rangers are here?! Where? How
long? How did you -- ?

SEAN
No. Walked by entrance. We go back.

He points and they can see a telegram wire back up the road
they’ve traveled. Sean jumps back onto his horse.

ROY
Oh, right.

CLINT
Perfect.
44.

At a fork in the bush terrain there is a sign for ‘Big Bear


Ranch’ they somehow missed before.

Sean studies the sign for a while.

ROY
Did someone turn this place into a
zoo while you were gone?

SEAN
(shakes his head)
It’s m’father. I - I’ve brought
dishonor on ma family.

ROY
(leaning close)
What did you do?

An arrow ZIPS out of the dark, whizzing past Roy’s face,


causing his horse to rear up and knock him to the ground.

Another WHIPS through the air and strikes deep into Clint’s
thigh.

Clint slowly stares down to the arrow, then starts to scream


uncontrollably, not looking away from it.

Sean jumps down and shouts in Comanche, holding his hands up.

Two figures emerge discreetly from the bushes armed with bow
and arrow - they are BIG BEAR (55) and LITTLE BEAR (25),
father and son Native American Indian Comanche warriors.

BIG BEAR
Sean?

The three men hug with delight. Big Bear already has tears in
his eyes, Little Bear punches Sean in the arm. They talk
animatedly, pointing at the others.

Roy opens his arms out, questionably.

SEAN
My brother - Little Bear, sent da
warning shot - he not so sure if
you are a tourist.

CLINT
What about my leg?!

SEAN
That was my father, Big Bear. His
eyes not so good.

Patty jumps from her horse and tries to help Clint who is
going into shock already.
45.

Roy approaches the two warriors and hesitantly stretches out


a hand.

Big Bear asks something of Sean. Sean nods enthusiastically.

Big Bear beams a huge smile, then takes Roy in a bear hug.
Roy smiles nervously as he is thrown about, then dumped. He
catches his breath.

ROY
(to Patty)
I guess that’s why they call him
Big Bear.

Big Bear motions towards the others.

ROY (CONT’D)
Oh, they’re with me. I know it’s
bad luck to ride with a lady, but
she has a mean right hook.

Big Bear smiles knowingly and tussles Roy’s hair, then pulls
him towards the entrance to the ranch in a headlock. Roy
beckons for Patty to follow them, pulling her by the hand.

BIG BEAR
Come, friends, please.

Clint is breathing heavily, left behind by the others.

CLINT
(hushed)
Patty! Patty!!

Little Bear walks back to him and points to the arrow. He


motions that he can remove it.

Clint frantically shakes his head.

CLINT (CONT’D)
(through gritted teeth)
It’s fine, thank you, your father
just shot me in the leg.

Little Bear grabs the arrow. Clint shoves the hand away and
raises his fists, about to fight him.

CLINT (CONT’D)
Unhand me, heathen!

Little Bear feigns surprise, then laughs and punches him in


the shoulder. Clint nurses his new bruise. Little Bear
beckons him to join the others -- then drags him along.
46.

INT. BIG BEAR RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Fire-light illuminates a large dining room inside a somewhat


luxurious log-cabin where the guests have enjoyed a hasty
meal. Big Bear’s wife, MRS. BEAR (45), is fussing over Sean.

Clint is groaning on a sofa, his leg bandaged up. Roy and


Patty are huddled around a desk to one side. Big Bear HITS
his head as he takes out a big box from beneath a workbench.

He removes a dusty telegram machine and dumps it on the desk,


then fits on a pair of spectacles and opens the first page of
a paper manual. He connects a solitary cable.

Sean steps in. Big Bear and Sean argue in Comanche as they
randomly twist and push buttons.

Roy smiles to Patty, awkwardly.

Sean grabs a crank-handle and WHIRLS the machine into life to


generate some power. There is a FLICKER of electricity. Big
Bear WHACKS the side of the machine. It HUMS into life.

BIG BEAR
Ha!

Big Bear allows himself a congratulatory moment.

SEAN
(to Roy)
My father - he not good with
machines. He promise me he learn
how’ta type sounds.

BIG BEAR
(in better English)
And I say - why do we need machines
when smoke signals work just fine?

He winks and offers Roy his drink, grabbing another.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


Drink, little Roy!

Roy reluctantly looks at the glass. He twists the rim to


avoid the section that has already been used. Little Bear
offers a glass of something warm to a grateful Clint.

Roy gulps down the strong liquid with clenched teeth, while
Clint SPITS out the moonshine dramatically.

Big Bear laughs and SLAPS Roy across the back. He stares at
Roy for a few seconds.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


You look like your father.
47.

ROY
My...?

The machine starts to BEEP as a message comes through. Big


Bear fits on his spectacles and tears off a piece of paper.

BIG BEAR
(to his wife, translated)
Honey, it seems we missed a message
that your mother wanted to visit us
last year.

MRS. BIG BEAR (V.O.)


(shouting, translated)
You useless, lazy, buffalo-smelling
sheep-herder! You’re sleeping on
the floor tonight!

LITTLE BEAR
(to Sean, translated)
Father knows how this machine works
just fine.

Patty nods towards Clint, prompting Roy to hurry up.

ROY
So, Mr. Big Bear - about that
message?

BIG BEAR
Ah, yes. That’s a needle in a
haystack. Any clues to go on?

ROY
Got to be a big place. Not far from
here, a few towns over.

Big Bear nods. He takes out a paper chart and scans a finger
down a list of area code numbers, then carefully punches in a
sequence of digits, peering over his spectacles.

BIG BEAR
What do you want to say?

ROY
Hmm. What about: ‘Ahoy ahoy, hello.
How are you? I’m fine. Thank you.
Dear Sir, or Madam? We are on the
run from a gang of corrupt Texas
Rangers and looking for a Pinkerton
agent called Blackfoot. Please let
us know at your earliest
convenience if he is in your town?
Best regards, yours truly, Roy.’

PATTY
(nods)
I like it.
48.

BIG BEAR
Ah, Roy. It’s fifty cents a word.

ROY
Ah, right, gotcha. What about: ‘Man
Blackfoot there?’

BIG BEAR
Better.

Big Bear punches in the morse code and starts dialing numbers
until there’s a DING.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


Alright. Sent to the Post Office of
the ten biggest towns round here.

ROY
Excellent!

Big Bear stares at him. Roy doesn’t understand.

BIG BEAR
Roy ... we’re not a bank.

ROY
Oh, right, yes, of course. That’s -
wait fifty cents EVERY word?

Big Bear nods.

ROY (CONT’D)
And you sent it to...?

BIG BEAR
Ten telegrams.

ROY
Right, right, so that’s...?

Sean starts to count on his fingers. Roy goes pale. Patty


spins across and rolls up Clint’s sleeve.

PATTY
Will this cover it?

On Clint’s wrist is a shiny new watch. The room falls silent -


until Big Bear whistles with a glint in his eye.

BIG BEAR
That’ll do!

CLINT
Wait, what?!

Big Bear crosses over and gives the watch a little bite to
test the metal. Clint instantly recoils his hand.
49.

BIG BEAR
The telegrams, food, Little Bear as
your guide and some jam!

ROY
Done.

Before Clint can respond a series of LOUD HIGH-PITCHED dots


and dashes sound as the machine whirls into life. A ticker-
tape CHURNS out from the side with a sentence typed on it.

Big Bear hurries over to the machine and starts to read.

BIG BEAR
McKinney! They’re in McKinney. It’s
all here ... It’s quite descriptive
actually. Really goes into detail.

CUT TO:

INT. MCKINNEY - POST OFFICE - NIGHT

A nervous TELEGRAM OPERATOR (30), wearing a green eyeshade


visor and clipped sleeves, shakes involuntarily as he removes
his finger from the morse code machine. He gulps.

Ranger Tex is perched on the corner of the desk next to him,


casually opening pecan nuts and popping them in his mouth.

Wheeler throws his pistol in the air and catches it just


right every time. With each catch the Telegram Operator
shudders, expecting to be shot.

RANGER WHEELER
It’s all in the wrist - see?

He tosses it up in the air again.

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
It’s ... it’s sent!

RANGER WHEELER
You sure took your time!

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
It was a long message, you wanted
to be very specific!

RANGER TEX
Well, we don’t want our friends to
get lost again now, do we?

RANGER WHEELER
(to the Operator)
Sure you didn’t slip sumpin' else
in there?
50.

He DECLUTTERS the desk with one swift movement. The Operator


holds up his hands.

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
I didn’t! I swear! We keep a
record! You ... you can check!

Wheeler snatches a print-out from the machine.

RANGER WHEELER
What is this? Chinese?! Just a load
of dots! What do you take me for?

He COCKS his pistol as the Operator cowers at his desk.


Ranger Tex motions for Wheeler to lower his weapon.

RANGER TEX
Jesse, relax. What you’re lookin’
at is the future. All dots and
dashes, ain’t that right?

The Operator can’t control his breathing. Tex steps behind


the man and dusts him down, then massages his shoulders.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


I apologize if my colleague here is
a lil’bit abrupt. Just all on edge
before apprehendin’ some two-faced
criminals. Understood?

The Operator nods.

RANGER WHEELER
I’d rest easier if I knew where
they were. Colt too, still haulin’
that printin’ press around. Be nice
to get some shut-eye first.

RANGER TEX
(to the Operator)
Where’s the nearest Western Union
to that lil’ one-horse town?

The Operator gulps and nervously raises his hand to the


machine. Wheeler raises the barrel of his gun.

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
If you - if you let me check the
header. Every message comes from a
unique number.

Ranger Tex whistles.

RANGER TEX
See - the wonder of technology! So
come on, Newton, enlighten us!
51.

The Operator gets to his feet and rummages through a filing


cabinet full of stacks of papers, each page lined with blocks
of digits.

He takes one out and crosses to a large map on the wall. He


cross references the coordinates then taps at a little dot.

Wheeler steps across and shoves the man aside.

RANGER WHEELER
That’s the middle of nowhere! Where
is that? A farm?

Tex studies the map, and shakes his head.

RANGER TEX
Not a farm. A reservation. Seems
our boy has gotten himself a lil’
help from the natives.

EXT. BIG BEAR RESIDENCE - NIGHT

Dim candle lights glow in the windows. A CRUNCH of grass as a


sinister shadow stalks the perimeter of the property.

INT. BIG BEAR RESIDENCE - MAIN ROOM - NIGHT

Clint is sprawled across the couch, covered in blankets.


Patty quietly tries to take one for herself but Clint groans
and rolls over, wrapping himself further.

She glances down to the uncomfortable floor.

INT. THE DEN

Shelves full of hardback books line the walls while the floor
is full of clutter. Big Bear shunts boxes of junk around to
make space.

Next to an original leather-bound ‘War and Peace’ Roy peers


closer and points to a Confederate photograph.

ROY
Wait! Is this ... my father?

Big Bear fits on his spectacles but grows uncomfortable.

BIG BEAR
Ah, your father. We rode together.
Yes, against the Union.

Roy points to the next photograph. Identical serious poses


from the posse, except this time in Union uniforms.
52.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


We switched sides when we found out
what it was all about. Good days.
He was a brave soul. Not too bad
with the ladies too.

ROY
I had no idea...

BIG BEAR
Anyway, best get some sleep. Here’s
a bedroll I use when the missus
kicks me out the sack.

Big Bear thrusts the bedroll in his hands as he hurries past.

ROY
Wait! I was young when he--

BIG BEAR
(looking at his new watch)
Oh, is that the time?

Roy unpins the photograph and turns it over - there’s


something stuck to the back:

INSERT

Postcard from Austin, Texas with the handwriting: ‘Look after


him. Billy.’ Post marked 1880.

ROY
Wait - this doesn’t make any sense.
My father died when I was ten...?

Big Bear stops before he can reach the door and lets out a
heavy sigh.

BIG BEAR
The box. Behind ‘War and Peace’.

Roy frowns then moves the hardback aside and lifts out a
dusty shoebox. He carefully opens the lid revealing - a few
poker chips, a journal, a pocket watch, a half-drunken bottle
of old tequila and newspaper clippings of the gang’s heists.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


You’d best take a sip.

Roy obliges - the alcohol has turned and burns his throat.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


And maybe take a seat.

Roy sinks down to the floor.


53.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


Billy fell in with a new crowd. A
bad crowd. But one job went south.
Some prisoner transport thing.
Someone ratted him out and he took
the blame. They threw everything at
him, but he wouldn’t give up our
names. He never posted bail, they
knew he’d bolt, so he’s been holed
up with the Pinkertons ever since.

ROY
(lost for words)
In Austin?!

BIG BEAR
Yes. Phew, many, many years now.
Not a day goes by I don’t wonder
how he is. Well, some days. It’s
been years! We were warned never to
go down, keep our noses clean.

INT. CORRIDOR

Sean pads back from the kitchen with a glass of water. The
front door is mysteriously wide open. He glances outside to
check no one is around, then closes it with a shiver.

INT. THE DEN

Roy is pale.

BIG BEAR
Before he was taken, he made me
promise I’d take care of you -
should anything happen. That’s why
I sent Little Sean to help out.

ROY
I have you to thank for that?

BIG BEAR
He’s a good boy. Brave as a fox.
(lowering his voice)
He was dumped on our doorstep as a
young’un - dropped off with just a
note and a name tag. Never did find
out what happened to his parents,
poor little thing.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


He didn’t wonder why he was the
only ginger haired kid in school?

Big Bear shrugs his shoulders with a smile.


54.

INT. CORRIDOR

Sean is frozen outside the room, glass of water in hand, his


mouth wide open. He staggers back down the corridor.

INT. THE DEN

Big Bear rests a hand on Roy’s shoulder.

BIG BEAR
Listen, you’re in a tight spot -
and there’s no other man I’d have
on my side than your father. If
you’re serious about busting that
cry-baby over the border, you’re
gonna need his help.

ROY
But Blackfoot the Pinkerton--

BIG BEAR
Forget him! I bet he was the one
that was meant to help you too! Let
them shoot themselves up, you don’t
want any part in that.

Big Bear picks up a newspaper article with a picture.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


He was a lot like you. Anyway,
‘Don’t let yesterday use up too
much of today’. You hear?

Big Bear tussles a confused Roy’s hair, then leaves Roy to


his thoughts and carefully closes the door behind him.

Roy stretches out, removing the mysterious leather-bound book


stuffed down his pants, digging into the small of his back.

INSERT

A GUIDE TO THE JAIL BREAK - A JOURNAL - by PHINEAS MONTAGUE


WOOD. AND JEBEDIAH WOOD.

and flicks through pages of hand-drawn notes and sketches. He


sniffs the bottle’s half empty contents -- and retches.

INT. BIG BEAR RESIDENCE - THE DEN - DAY

The Tequila bottle is empty. Roy, stripped down to his long


johns, has fallen asleep with pages from both journals spread
out over the floor and some stuck to his face.

There is an urgent BANGING on the door. Roy tries to stand


and shield his eyes from the light as Patty hustles inside.
55.

PATTY
You said ‘crack of dawn’ to be...

Roy snaps to his senses and tries to cover himself up.

PATTY (CONT’D)
ROY!

He turns around but the view is worse - the back flap of his
johns is wide open. Patty turns a shade of beetroot and can’t
decide where to look.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Crack... We’ll, er, I’ll body be
... best be waitin’ outside!

EXT. BIG BEAR RESIDENCE - DAY

Roy is still buttoning his shirt with the box under his arm
as he leaves the cabin. Patty can’t look him in the eye. Sean
is in a state of shock, frozen in his horse’s saddle.

ROY
(to Sean)
Everything okay, kemosabe?

Sean stares dead ahead in a daze. Mrs Big Bear wipes away a
tear as Big Bear grips Roy’s hand.

BIG BEAR
Watch your back down there.

Little Bear, in a dapper three-piece suit and carrying a


crate of ‘Mrs. Big Bear’s’ jam jars, coughs. Big Bear nods.

BIG BEAR (CONT’D)


Say, Roy, what about if I offered
YOU the opportunity to be a part of
something EXCITING? A new venture.
For just a small outlay we’re
looking for investors in a--

ROY
You think my father is still alive?

BIG BEAR
(sighs deeply)
I know it in my heart.

Big Bear grabs Roy in a bear-hug, shaking his head to dismiss


Little Bear who trudges back to his horse.

Roy tries to disguise a tear then mounts up. He trots


forward, nudging Sean along, then turns in the saddle.
56.

ROY
(raising his voice)
There’s been a change of plan. I’ll
take you as far as the border. But
first we need to make a slight
detour - we’re going to Austin.

PATTY
AUSTIN?!

Patty and Clint push their horses to hurry after Roy. Mrs Big
Bear waves goodbye, then digs her husband in the ribs.

MRS. BIG BEAR


(subtitled)
Tell them there’s a stage coach
leaving across the road in five
minutes - and they’re going in the
wrong direction!

Big Bear calms his wife with a universal ‘it’ll be fine’ hand
sign, pre-occupied with the ticking from his new wrist-watch.

EXT. TEXAS TERRAIN - DAY

A more determined Roy coerces a reluctant Sean to lead the


tired posse through the terrain. Roy’s horse is still laden
with his belongings. Clint is horizontal in his seat, while
Little Bear has dozens of jam jars mounted on his ride.

Sean studies the signs, but keeps second-guessing himself:

QUICK MONTAGE:

--formations of clouds, with indeterminate shapes;

--large flocks of birds migrating, but flying in circles;

--dew on both sides of leaves;

--moss on stones that roll down as they pass - but with moss
on both sides;

--the shape of a very large ‘Bigfoot’ style footprint;

--a tree hit by a lightening strike leaving just one charred,


upright tree trunk with many bent branches.

END MONTAGE

EXT. TEXAS PLAINS / TRAIL SOUTH - DUSK

Sean falls from his horse and drops to his knees.

Roy looks over to Little Bear and shares a few basic ‘you go
first’ hand signals. Little Bear refuses to get involved.
57.

SEAN
(losing the Irish accent)
What becomes - of hunter - who
forgets how to hunt? Your slave is
a liar! Like a fox! Is this Mexico?

PATTY
Outstanding.

Roy sighs and jumps down from his horse.

ROY
This looks as good a spot as any to
set up camp.

He gives the others the sign to dismount. They groan as one -


all except Little Bear who studies the terrain and rattles
off an argument impossible to comprehend.

Roy puts up his hand to stop the tirade and slumps down next
to Sean. Little Bear throws his hands in the air.

There’s an uncomfortable silence. Sean starts to sob.

ROY (CONT’D)
I don’t mean to pry, but before -
you said you did something?
Something bad? I mean - just if you
want to talk. You don’t have to.
But - are we talking stealing the
fruit bad or ... ?

Sean fidgets.

SEAN
Your slave can’t say--

ROY
No, please - ‘friend’. And go on...

SEAN
Before Sean met white man, one time
they asked Sean to cook big meal,
but Sean burnt the food...

He sobs. There is a commotion behind. Clint is deranged with


fever. In a clearing covered by overgrowth they prop him up
near a freshly made log pile. He is babbling incoherently.

CLINT
Rabbits! Rabbits--

PATTY
Roy!

ROY
(to Patty)
With you soon!
(MORE)
58.
ROY (CONT’D)
(to Sean)
Go on...

SEAN
Sean grabbed a blanket to put it
out - but the smoke looked like a
signal - to all the tribes - about
my father’s--

CLINT
BIG JUICY RABBITS!

PATTY
Roy!

ROY
Argh! It was just getting to the
good bit!

Little Bear has already expertly got a fire going next to


Clint and throws some SIZZLING meat onto the flames.

Roy stomps over. Clint giggles to himself, then faints, face


first.

ROY (CONT’D)
I don’t see anything out of the
ordinary.

PATTY
He’s delusional, you idiot. He must
have a fever from the wound. Here,
help me with him.

Roy motions that he was just with Sean.

ROY
Fine! What do you need?

PATTY
We need to keep his temperature
down, and clean the wound.

ROY
I’m not doing that.

PATTY
Then get me some water, it’ll sting
when we take off his clothing.

ROY
On second thoughts--

PATTY
Wait, you need to be careful!

Roy RIPS off Clint’s pants. There is a festering wound on his


thigh.
59.

Roy can’t stop staring. The smell reaches him, and he throws
up onto the fire and meat about to be cooked.

LITTLE BEAR
(translated, pointing)
You couldn’t have done that over
there?!

ROY
I’m sorry.

PATTY
Well, at least we still got the
fire. Here, hold this.

She hands him a torn rag covered in pus.

Roy is sick again over the fire, extinguishing the flames.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Roy!

ROY
I’m sorry! I’m sorry! That’s
disgusting, it really is. I’m
sorry. Once it hits you in the back
of the throat though.

He hacks a cough, trying to clear his throat.

PATTY
Roy! The water?

He slowly looks around for a container. Patty prods at the


wound and a bubble of pus oozes out.

Roy throws up again.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Roy!

ROY
I know, I know! I’m going!

EXT. TRAIL SOUTH - NIGHT

A weather-worn, dedicated Ranger Colt studies a fresh pile of


manure, testing the warmth. He scans the terrain, listening
intently. Easing back up, he returns to his horse and BREAKS
open his shotgun to check the cartridges. He primes and LOCKS
the barrel before resting it back in the rifle holster.

He climbs up into the saddle and kicks his steed onward.


60.

EXT. CAMP FIRE - NIGHT

From a distance, a shadow moves branches aside as it watches


the fugitives from the safety of the surrounding trees.

Patty and Sean sit on a fallen log before a CRACKLING fire,


SCRAPING the last few beans from tins onto their empty
plates. Roy slumps down on to the ground next to them.

ROY
Sorry I ruined dinner.

Sean gets up to leave. Not wearing shoes now.

ROY (CONT’D)
Something I said?

PATTY
It’s just been a long few days.

Roy takes a swig of tequila from a metal hip flask.

ROY
Where’s Clint?

PATTY
Sleepin’.

ROY
Oh. Maybe I should go. In case he--

PATTY
He’ll be fine. I’m happy enough
here.

She snatches the flask from Roy and takes a drink.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Are we really in Mexico already?
Are we that lost?

ROY
No, just another day’s ride to
Austin.

PATTY
How can you be so sure?

Roy points out west.

ROY
Little Bear told me we’re running
alongside the main road south. If
you stretch up on your horse you
can just about see it. He even
bought a newspaper before.
61.

He removes the paper from his boot. McKinney features on the


first page with a photograph of Ranger Tex next to a gallows.

ROY (CONT’D)
(to himself)
Seems they’ve been busy...

PATTY
But what about Sean? He said--

ROY
He’ll be fine, he’s the best
tracker I know. I mean, I don’t
know many, but he seems okay. Most
of the time. Just a rough patch.

Patty takes another swig from the flask.

Roy leans back with his feet outstretched, head on the log
and rests his hat over his face. Patty studies him carefully.

The fire CRACKLES as they enjoy the silence.

ROY (CONT’D)
You can take a picture if you want.

She smacks him in the arm, then lays down a bedroll on the
ground and leans back alongside. She can’t help but smile ...
until the silence is disturbed by Clint accidentally breaking
wind, and waking himself up.

CLINT
(slurred)
Patty!

She stares at the ring on her finger and her smile fades. Roy
can’t help but admire her figure. He shakes his head and
turns his attention to the stars.

ROY
It’s quite nice this. You know, all
things considerin’. I never thought
I’d ever leave town. I feel like -
like the world’s my lobster! Maybe
we don’t... I mean it’ll be a shame
when ... you go to--

PATTY
I’m beginnin’ to think you have
ulterior motives for this detour.

Patty turns to face Roy. The light from the fire has
accentuated his features. They share a moment looking into
each other’s eyes. She takes a deep breath.

A shadow crosses over Roy’s face. Patty sits up and stares at


the fire, rubbing her eyes --
62.

Suddenly the SILHOUETTE of a burly man emerges from the dark,


kicking his way through the flames -- and stops dead in the
middle of camp.

Patty SCREAMS.

Roy, Patty, Little Bear and Sean trip over themselves,


scampering back through their camp into knee-high scrub.

ROY
(to Patty)
Quick! Where’s your gun?

Patty stares back at him, still reeling from the fright.

PATTY
Why don’t you have a gun?

ROY
I - I don’t like guns. Okay?

Little Bear hazards a look while the others lie face down.

SEAN
White Boss can’t pull trigger.

PATTY
(to Roy)
You’re a pacifist now?

SEAN
No, finger’s too weak.

ROY
It was one time - and a really old
gun!

PATTY
Well, if you must know, mine is
over there next to Clint!

Clint is dozing near the fire, oblivious.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Think of sumpin' before they shoot
us all dead!

Sean scampers to his feet and pulls an unstrung bow off his
back. He heaves on the brand new timber arm to attach a
string but it SPRINGS back and SMACKS him in the face.

The Shadow steps a few paces towards them. Glass jam jars
BREAK as they are trampled underfoot.

ROY
(whispering)
Right, I think I’ve got a good arm.
63.

PATTY
Better than your finger?

ROY
It was a rusty gun!

He snatches an arrow.

ROY (CONT’D)
I’ll throw this and bury it in his
chest. After he goes down, everyone
up and ride away. Y’all ready?

Patty nods, and grips his arm assuringly.

ROY (CONT’D)
Come on, Roy. Here goes. You got
this! I can do this -- no going
back -- You ready? ... RUN!

He stands and hurls the arrow as hard as he can.

Standing in front of them is Crazy Karl - he has stolen the


Drunken Cowboy’s clothes, a size too short for him. The arrow
bounces off his jacket and flops to the ground.

Patty is trying to raise Nelly and jump on her back, but the
old girl is taking an age to stand.

Crazy Karl holds his arms out to show he is unarmed.

ROY (CONT’D)
Wait! WAIT!

Sean SCREAMS a warning cry and runs at the bandit.

Karl grabs him in one swift move by the neck and holds him
outstretched to the side. Sean’s tiptoes scrabble on the
loose stones.

Little Bear looks to Roy for a prompt. Roy approaches, hands


raised, trying to appease his old cellmate.

ROY (CONT’D)
Crazy Karl! How? Why? You mind if I
just call you Karl?

Crazy Karl stands there, emotionless. Roy quickly scans the


terrain for signs of danger.

ROY (CONT’D)
Did the Rangers send you? How did
you find us?! Listen, I can explain
about the dynamite--

Karl clears his throat.


64.

CRAZY KARL
Did I pass your test, Doc?

ROY
You can talk! Wait - what test?

CRAZY KARL
At the asilo mental. I study Law.
‘Debts are forfeit when prisoners
cannot intellectually debate.’ I
know mis derechos. Did I pass?

ROY
Wait - you’ve been tracking us?

CRAZY KARL
It wasn’t difficult. You’ve been
going in a big circulo.
(pointing at Clint)
And keep traveling upwind.

Roy studies the far tree-line as Clint wakes and screams with
fright at the sight of Crazy Karl - with blood-like jam
strewn around and smoke from the fire still rolling off him.

PATTY
Are you here to kill us?

Crazy Karl laughs uncontrollably - a deep, bellowing laugh.


The others laugh nervously.

CRAZY KARL
Kill you?

He laughs again, funniest thing he’s heard. He drops Sean to


the ground, gives him a huge SLAP on the back and wipes away
a tear. Then dead-pan serious.

CRAZY KARL (CONT’D)


I work hard. I never fail a test.
Never. I have two degrees. Plus I
miss this crazy Gringo’s stories.
You could make dinero, people would
want to hear them. About a vaquero,
who only ever loved one girl.

ROY
Pfft. That’s not true.

CRAZY KARL
But she broke his corazón.

Roy shakes his head, looks to Patty and gives the ‘crazy’
sign towards Karl.

CRAZY KARL (CONT’D)


He cried himself to sleep--
65.

Patty blushes. Clint bares his teeth.

ROY
We’re leaving for Austin - right
now! In silence! It’s not safe.

Sean holds his compass close to his belt again. With a shove
Roy pushes Sean’s arms out. The needle stops spinning.

Karl follows Roy to his horse. Roy nervously looks him over.

ROY (CONT’D)
But ... you didn’t kill all those
people, right?

CRAZY KARL
Which people?

ROY
There was a rumor you were arrested
- because you had a ‘thing’ ...
about ‘Gringos’?

Karl laughs again.

CRAZY KARL
No. They say I owe mucho dinero.

ROY
Right, that’s a relief! They told
me you killed thirty men.

CRAZY KARL
You have it wrong, rumors are like
Mexican whispers.

ROY
Don’t you mean Chinese?

CRAZY KARL
No, I’d never understand it if it
was in Chinese.

Roy jumps onto Burrito as Karl waits patiently. Roy looks


around. Karl reaches up a hand. Reluctantly, Roy helps Karl
onto the back of Burrito. Karl hugs him close as they ride.

CRAZY KARL (CONT’D)


It was more like fifty.

EXT. MCKINNEY - MAIN SQUARE - NIGHT

Ranger Tex Byrne caresses the wooden support of a gallows,


illuminated by flaming street lights. A dead body hangs
limply in the breeze.
66.

Ranger Wheeler approaches with a warm drink for his captain


and two giggly SALOON GIRLS, one on each arm.

RANGER WHEELER
Here you go, Boss. Listen, don’t
let it get you down. I mean, we’ve
had a good run here - what’s a few
that got away?

RANGER TEX
‘A few that got away?’! They know
everythin’! If they reach the
border we’ll never catch ‘em! What
if they talk? What if they bump
into some Rangers down here who
start askin’ questions?

RANGER WHEELER
But Boss, it’s been three days.
We’re tired. Colt’s got himself
burnt to a crisp just searchin’ out
there. They didn’t do what you
figured this time, accept it.

One of the girls slinks over to Tex, he pushes her away and
grabs Wheeler by the neck.

RANGER WHEELER (CONT’D)


Easy! Look, we kept the salesman’s
kick money, right? And we kept you
busy here with a few hangings. Come
on, let’s go down to Mexico. That
always cheers you up. Might bump
into ‘em.

RANGER TEX
So we don’t show our faces back in
that backwater town again? We hide
from those hillbillies every time
we pass through?

Wheeler pulls back and shrugs.

RANGER TEX (CONT’D)


No - I want that money, it’s our
money! I want those two dead! I
don’t care how it happens. I’ll
make them come to us! Just stay on
that wire, you hear me? I want
Clint Richards dead!

He throws a jab at the hanging body which swings like a


punching bag on the end of the rope.
67.

INT. AUSTIN SALOON - DUSK

Roy, Clint, Patty and Little Bear enter the largest saloon in
town extremely sore from their journey. There is tension in
the air from the fellow fugitives, directed at Roy.

The saloon is full of COWBOYS drinking and gambling, with a


PIANO PLAYER tinkling the ivories to one side and SALOON
GIRLS mixing with the crowd.

They carefully and sorely sidle up to the bar, then just as


carefully take a seat. No one notices them.

Sean, now proudly shirtless and shoeless, swings open the


saloon doors next - and the place falls silent. The piano
player falls on a few WRONG NOTES before he stops.

Sean studies the crowd. Crazy Karl stands alongside him.

CRAZY KARL
He’s with me, you degenerados!
Anyone got a problem with that?

The crowd avoid his glare and go back to their business. The
MUSIC starts again. Karl nudges Sean over to the others.

One self-assured COWBOY GAMBLER (60s), hidden beneath a ten


gallon hat, fat cigar and deck of cards, peers out from his
table but is obscured by a plume of smoke.

The BARTENDER cleans a glass and then slides across to Roy.

BARTENDER
What can I getcha?

ROY
We’re looking for someone.

BARTENDER
Aren’t we all. Information here
comes at a price: you drink and I
talk. So what will it be?

ROY
Whiskey.

He counts those with him, then just shrugs and holds up ten
fingers.

The Bartender puts down ten shot glasses and fills them to
the brim.

BARTENDER
That’s two bucks for the bottle.

Roy looks over to Clint. The others do the same.


68.

CLINT
Typical, just typical. But just so
you know, I’m drinking alone!

He slams down a handful of coins on the counter and takes his


drink away.

BARTENDER
So, who is it?

ROY
They say he was a prisoner here,
many years ago.

The Bartender raises an eyebrow.

ROY (CONT’D)
We stopped by the jail but they
were all fidgety, you know? All
jumpy. He wasn’t there anyways.
Unless he’s now a Mexican.

BARTENDER
So this, er, guy you’re looking
for?

Roy holds a hand high above his head.

ROY
About yea high. Big guy, big
booming voice. Quite authoritative.
Caring though, always buys you a
present on your birthday. Is nice
to your mother, you know?

BARTENDER
I see. Can you be a bit more
specific?

ROY
Goes by the name Billy--

A knife SPINS across the saloon and STABS into the counter
near Roy’s drinking hand, pinning his sleeve.

The atmosphere changes in the saloon as people instinctively


back away. Roy tugs at the knife, but is not strong enough to
move it. He can’t bring the glass to his lips either for a
quick drink.

A MEAN COWBOY (50s) stalks over to Roy, with a black circular


hat, faded Union jacket and squirrelly eyes. He gets up into
Roy’s face.

MEAN COWBOY
Seems we have a stray in the
saloon! You know what we do with
strays around here, Boy?
69.

He pulls the knife out of the counter and holds it to Roy’s


neck. Clint approaches. Patty tries to hold him back, but he
shoos her aside.

CLINT
I got this.
(to the cowboy)
Hey there, amigo. Seems we have a
lil’ situation here. I know this
gentleman may look like a vagrant
but for whichever reason no one
passed by me, he’s looking for his
Old Man who may or may not help us.

The cowboy instead thrusts the knife at Clint’s neck. Clint


wide-eyed casually pushes the knife back to Roy’s throat.

CLINT (CONT’D)
But if you are adamant you mean to
do him harm, just know I wouldn’t
hold it against you.

PATTY
(to Clint)
How is that helpin’?

CLINT
Honey, I’m building a rapport with
this gentleman.

PATTY
(to the cowboy)
Sir, you let my friend go this
instant!

She reaches into her skirt and pulls out a gun - a rusty old
Colt Peacemaker.

CLINT
Patty! Where did you pull that
from?!

PATTY
Big Bear gave me some bullets. For
emergencies.

The Cowboy Gambler, BILLY, ruggedly handsome, throws down his


cards, pushes his seat back and approaches the bar.

He carefully nudges his squirrelly friend aside.

BILLY
(to Roy)
Did you say you were looking for
Billy ... your father?

Roy gulps and nods. The Gambler gets into his face and spits
the cigar out. He peers closer.
70.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Roy?!

He grabs Roy and gives him a bear hug.

BILLY (CONT’D)
My boy! For a second there I
thought you were someone else!

ROY
Someone else?

BILLY
You can never be sure! Some orphan
comes along, has it in his head
you’re his pappy, wants some money.
Happens to Wyatt all the time.

The squirrelly cowboy, Wyatt, nods and shrugs.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Look at you! All grown up. Got your
father’s good looks, I see!
(to Patty)
And who is this? Wait - it can’t
be? I have a daughter-in-law?!
What’s next, I’m a Grandad?!

Patty lowers the gun and smiles politely. The squirrelly


cowboy puts a strong arm around Clint’s shoulders.

CLINT
No! She’s not. Patty, tell him!
(to Patty)
I swear, it’s like I don’t even
know who you are any more!

Billy raises his hands to his friends at the gambling table


at the saloon as they raise their glasses to toast.

BILLY
Drinks are on me, boys!

Clint breaks free and pushes forward.

CLINT
Good man, they are NOT married! She
is my fiancée, and I kindly ask you
to keep those remarks to yourself!

He tugs Patty towards him. She elbows him in the ribs.

BILLY
Ouch, way to kick a Grandad when
he’s down.
(to the Bartender)
Where do you think you’re going?
Get back behind there!
71.

Billy’s table groan and get back to their game.

INT. ROY’S TOWN - MAIN STREET - DUSK

Ranger Tex ambles up Main Street on a horse pulling their


Wanted Poster printing press in a carriage behind. The
citizens close their windows and fall back to the shadows.
He waves nonchalantly as he passes.

Ben and Jerry sit up straight. Ben waves back until Jerry
smacks him. Tex stops dead in front of their store, with the
charred remains of Roy’s and Clint’s businesses behind.

TEX
Say, you two gents wouldn’t happ’n
to know where I could find the Bank
Manager at this late hour?

He rests a gun on his lap. Ben gulps and removes his hat.

INT. AUSTIN SALOON - NIGHT

While the others are busy, Billy pulls Roy over to the piano.
He stares at the piano player until he reluctantly gives up
his stool and hurries away. Billy offers the seat to Roy.

BILLY
So tell me everything! How are you
here? Why are you here?

ROY
Well, it’s a long story. It starts
with my own father faking his death
and allowing me to think he was
dead for twenty-five years!

BILLY
Come on! It’s not like that.

ROY
No?

BILLY
No. Well, okay, maybe a little.
Look, I was in deep with this new
crowd. We’d just knocked off a few
banks, taken down some bullion
convoys, we were good. Real good.
But the boys got greedy. The
Pinkertons laid a trap for us, we
got caught, the rest is history.

ROY
No. No, it’s not - what history?
How does that justify what you
did?! Big Bear said--
72.

BILLY
Ah! How is he?

ROY
A good father to his boys. Doesn’t
ditch them!

BILLY
Hey, don’t get your panties in a
twist! Look, they gave me an offer.
They knew I’d just break out so
they offered me a house arrest
here, in this saloon, if I just
laid low a few years.

ROY
A few years?!

BILLY
What would you have done? I’ve got
it made! It’s a great life!

He LIGHTS a new cigar, leans back and SMACKS a Saloon girl on


her derrière as she squeezes past.

An OLDER DANCING GIRL, MARIE (45), at the back of the room


folds her arms and storms upstairs, hiding her tears.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Know what I mean?

ROY
No, Dad. I don’t! So what - these
four walls are your prison?

BILLY
Yep. All thanks to Uncle Sam.

ROY
You could have at least said
something!

BILLY
What? You want a birthday card? I
sent you money - every year! That
was part of the deal.

ROY
What money? All that happened was
Blackfoot would ride through town
and buy a few horses.

BILLY
What?! That no-good, lying, two-
faced rat! A few horses? I’ve been
bustin’ my chops with these five
card stud games!
(MORE)
73.
BILLY (CONT’D)
I’m pretty good, you know. You
should see me at Hold’em, I’m
thinkin’ to go pro.

Sean downs two more shots at the bar. He SLAMS the last glass
down on the counter. Little Bear is remonstrating with him to
stop.

Some patrons mutter under their breath.

CRAZY KARL
(to the saloon)
You Gringos think you’re so high
and mighty, judging us by the color
of our skin. This Apache warrior is
the most bueno hombre I ever met--

Sean stands unsteadily. He screams a high war-pitched cry:


‘COMANCHE!’, grabs Karl’s gun and in an instant FIRES up at a
large chandelier in the centre of the saloon --

It comes CRASHING down scattering a table of cowboys.

CRAZY KARL (CONT’D)


That’s not important. As I was
saying, this hombre wouldn’t hurt a
fly--

The cowboys stand angrily and approach them. Karl quickly


ushers his drunk friend and Little Bear out the saloon.

Roy steals a glance and gets to his feet.

ROY
I came here because I was told this
was where I could find you. I’m in
trouble - with the Rangers.

BILLY
Ah, Los Diablos Tejanos! You want
to avoid them, son. Half of them
are not even elected. They just
steal a badge from a dead guy,
carry on as if nothing happened.
Stick around, we’ve got a lot to
catch up on!

ROY
There’s a Wanted Poster out for us!
These boys are serious! I was ready
to bust you out! We need to get
down to Mexico.

Billy throws open his arms.

BILLY
Ay, caramba! Leave my prison cell?
74.

The other cowboys laugh. Roy fixes his hat and pushes past.
The disgruntled older Saloon Girl peers over the banister.

INT. MCKINNEY - MAIN STREET - NIGHT

Ranger Wheeler sidles down Main Street with a SALOON GIRL on


his arm as McKinney’s portly BANK MANAGER is giggling with a
VOLUPTUOUS SECRETARY, locking-up the bank at this late hour.

The secretary jumps with fright when she turns and bumps into
Wheeler’s sneer, illuminated by the stump of a cigar.

RANGER WHEELER
I’ve come to make a withdrawal.

MCKINNEY BANK MANAGER


I - I -- what? ... It’s late!

Wheeler is incredulous. He manhandles the Bank Manager and


playfully SLAPS him in the face a few times.

RANGER WHEELER
I’ll give ya a little free advice,
chief. If you want to go home to
your wife again -- you remember the
one at home with the kids? I’d open
the door. Right now.

The secretary shakes her head but the Bank Manager gently
moves her aside and turns the key in the door - a metal bar
CLUNKS out of place as it opens.

Suddenly the door to the Post Office CRASHES open further up


the street. Ranger Colt hobbles out, waving a telegram paper
in his hand frantically.

RANGER COLT
THE WIDOW!

He catches up to them, out of breath and can’t get his words


out. Wheeler snatches the telegram and scans it.

RANGER WHEELER
“Grandma Joan, I write to you in
despair ...” yadda yadda yadda...
“My fancy man is not paying me
attention.” Are you lonely, Colt?!

Colt gives him a twirling motion to keep going, unable to


breathe. Wheeler turns the paper over in his hands.

RANGER WHEELER (CONT’D)


Which poor sap is picking up the
bill? OK. Some sad tale about her
dreams disappearing. And ... her
fancy man’s son showed up out the
blue, caused some commotion--
75.

Ranger Colt points at him, ‘that’s it’.

RANGER WHEELER (CONT’D)


Tried to patch things up before ...
“before he’s on the run across the
border to Mexico”.

Wheeler spits out his cigar and points to the message.

RANGER WHEELER (CONT’D)


Where was that sent from?!

RANGER COLT
Austin. The young’un said ...
‘Austin’.

A smile sweeps across his face.

RANGER WHEELER
Whatcha’ waiting for? Get down
there an’ eyeball ‘em!

Colt scampers away towards his horse.

RANGER WHEELER (CONT’D)


Colt, the car! Take the car!

Colt changes direction and scampers over to the convertible.

Wheeler shakes his head. The Saloon Girl grows impatient. The
Bank Manager cautiously tries to back away but the Ranger
grabs him with a strong arm and sneers.

RANGER WHEELER (CONT’D)


Not so fast, still gotta take care
of a little business here first.

EXT. AUSTIN - MAIN SQUARE/STREET - BLACKSMITHS - DAY

Roy and the others are saddling their horses outside the
Blacksmiths. The BLACKSMITH is a giant of a man, with a
matted black beard over a huge leather apron.

Karl inspects the hooves.

BLACKSMITH
That’ll be two dollars, total.

Clint smiles as he returns wearing a newly bought Mexican


sombrero and brightly colored poncho. The Blacksmith opens
his meaty palm out. Karl whistles.

CRAZY KARL
Lo siento, no llevo dinero.

Clint’s eyes widen.


76.

CLINT
Wait - what did he say?

BLACKSMITH
I take pesos, too.

Karl whistles casually as he saunters away, but holds a stare


at Clint’s Mexican attire.

CLINT
No, wait! I am not taking this!
It’s doing me psychological harm.

The Blacksmith SMACKS a hammer against his meaty palm. Clint


reluctantly pulls out his last two notes and hands them over.
The Blacksmith snatches them, nods and returns to his shop.

Roy approaches with a bag full of provisions for the journey.


He glances towards the saloon and his father standing inside
the doorway, leaning against the post and lighting a cigar.

PATTY
Just forget about him, Roy.

CLINT
Oh, ‘forget’ that you FORCED us to
follow you across the State? Or
that we have no more money? My
money! And for what?! For a little
daddy reunion with a father who
wants nothing to do with you!

PATTY
Clint!

CLINT
No, Patty! Now you listen. I’ve had
it taking orders from you! Why are
you even listening to this man?!
You know what? HIM OR ME!

Patty turns to Roy instinctively. Clint’s mouth falls open.

CLINT (CONT’D)
That’s it. You’ll regret this! I
quit! The wedding is off! From this
day I’m master of my own destiny.
No more sleeping under the stars,
no more beans - and no more horses!

He frightens two of the horses with his shouting.

Sean dashes in out of nowhere and tries to hit him, with arms
flailing harmlessly. Roy calms him without much effort. Clint
turns his back, snatches a flask of whiskey out of Little
Bear’s hands and takes a long chug.
77.

ROY
Clint, you know what?
(beat)
You win.

CLINT
Wait, what?

ROY
I’ve wasted our time and gotten us
nowhere. Y’all deserve better.
Truth is: I don’t know what I’m
doing. The Rangers have second-
guessed me every step and set-up
shop in McKinney, next to
Blackfoot. I’m out of ideas, you’re
out of money ... and soon we’ll be
outta time. Y’all deserve better.

PATTY
Roy? Don’t--

ROY
You’re closer to the border now.
I’m sorry, Patty. Seems your father
was right about me all along.

Head down, he trudges over to the Saloon. Billy smiles, claps


and beckons him to enter. Patty stands frozen and alone.

CLINT
Jackass.

Clint chugs more whiskey then shoves the flask into Little
Bear’s hand and stumbles away.

Sean gingerly rests a supportive arm around Patty’s


shoulders, but after a cold stare he changes his mind.

A German convertible motor car RUMBLES into town in the


distance, drawing gasps from the passers-by.

INT. SALOON

At the swing doors Roy rests a hand and waits, about to take
that final step inside, when Karl catches up to him.

CRAZY KARL
Doc. Not to ruin your momento, but
you’d better take a look at this.

EXT. MAIN STREET

The motor car SCREECHES to a stop at the top of Main Street.


78.

Old Ranger Colt Trickle jumps out. He stretches first,


massaging his back, and smiles to a few of the ladies.

Then a glint from the Blacksmith catches his eye - he peers


closer towards the fugitives and grins from ear to ear. He
reaches over into the back seat of his convertible and grabs
a wanted poster - and a double-barreled shotgun.

RANGER COLT
(to the crowd)
GOOD CITIZENS OF AUSTIN! My name is
Ranger Colt Trickle. I am here on
official State business! You have
among you a gang of outlaws. It is
in my jurisdiction to apprehend
these criminals ... dead or alive!

A crowd gather on both sides of the street. Roy stands at the


entrance of the saloon with Karl, while his father takes a
seat at the bar and holds up two fingers. Patty looks over to
Roy, worried. Sean stands in front of her.

RANGER COLT (CONT’D)


These criminals have perverted the
course of justice and a bounty has
been declared on their heads of--

Clint CLAPS his hands loudly. He stumbles forward with not


one but TWO MEXICAN SALOON GIRLS on his arm. Patty stares
incredulously at the girls.

PATTY
Is he delusional again?
(hissing)
Clint! Get back here!

CLINT
(shouting and slurred)
Well done, Ranger. ‘You got me’.
The game is up. Here I am - the
big, bad criminal. The outlaw
keeping you awake at night.
Everyone take a good look!

He twirls in the street, limping on his bad leg, still in his


sombrero. The crowd mutter and snigger among themselves.

OLD LADY 1
He doesn’t look like much to me.

OLD LADY 2
Seen more meat on a roasted
chicken!

Colt stares him down, stealing his moment. He rests his


shotgun on the ground.
79.

RANGER COLT
This poster in my hand is all I
need for your arrest! Mr. Clint
Richards, will you come with me
quietly or will you resist the--

CLINT
Yeah, I think I’ll resist -- you
flea-ridden, manure-eatin’, badly
dressed piece of filth!

Colt looks around hesitantly, the crowd are drawing in. To


one side he can see a telegram-operating Western Union.

MEXICAN GIRL#1 MEXICAN GIRL#2


Vamanos, papi! Te amo, huevo!

RANGER COLT
Stop right there! Outlaw, you are
under arrest! You will comply or--

CLINT
Or what? What you gonna do’bout it?

A few COWBOYS in the crowd turn on the Ranger.

COWBOY 1
Yeah, show him who’s boss!

COWBOY 2
Blow his brains out, Richards!

Billy’s squirrelly friend, Wyatt, pushes out from the crowd


and SLAPS his gun into Clint’s hand. The crowd cheer.

RANGER COLT
This is not how I wanna do this!
I’m warnin’ you to put down your
weapon - now - or else!

The crowd inch closer on the Ranger.

Clint, emboldened with rage - and alcohol - has the pistol in


his outstretched arm out to one side. Colt instinctively
rests a hand on the piece at his hip.

CLINT
(to Patty)
You like tough guys now, huh? A
‘cowboy’ - instead of me?! This is
what you’re missin’ out on, Patty!

Clint whips the gun round towards Colt and FIRES.

The bullet continues through in an arc, bounces off the


ground, HITS a metal post and ricochets back - embedding
itself into Clint’s good leg. He screams as he looks at the
wound, then drops the gun and falls to the ground.
80.

Colt hasn’t drawn yet. He breathes out and laughs to himself.


He saunters casually up Main Street towards Clint.

INT. SALOON

Roy races into the saloon and SLAMS a fist down on the
counter next to his father, leaving behind his father’s old
pocket watch. Billy looks at it with raised eyebrows.

ROY
For all your talk to turn back time
and be a better father - now’s the
time to do something about it!

Roy’s friends outside frantically impassion Roy to help.

BILLY
Son, it’s not my fight. By walking
over that threshold and out those
doors I’m breaking a bond of trust
good men have had in me since--

ROY
Since it was served a dozen years
ago! So what is it - you don’t care
about anyone anymore? Or is it that
you’re too scared to walk back into
the world? This bar really has
become your cell. I hope you don’t
choke on your bitter medicine!

He SMASHES one of the glasses on the counter.

BARTENDER
Hey! You didn’t have to do that!

Billy mops whiskey off his shirt as Roy leaves. He picks up


the watch ... and slams it back down on the counter.

EXT. MAIN STREET

Ranger Colt is standing over Clint who is writhing in pain on


the ground. He COCKS his pistol.

RANGER COLT
Clint Richards - by the power
invested in me by the State of
Texas, I hereby sentence you - with
absolute delight -- to meet your...

ROY
Try picking on someone your own
size.

The crowd part.


81.

CRAZY KARL
Yes, papi!

Patty gasps and clenches her fists nervously.

RANGER COLT
Sure you're ready for this? You
know I get a bonus if I bring back
TWO dead bodies?

The Ranger steps back to the middle of the street. Roy faces
him at a distance.

RANGER COLT (CONT’D)


What is this? You’re not even
carryin’!

PATTY
Roy!

She removes the rusty Colt Peacemaker and tosses it to him.

The chamber springs open as he catches it - just 3 bullets


left. Roy pushes the chamber back in. The hammer is jammed.
He has to use two thumbs to ease it back.

Ranger Colt laughs again as he steps back.

RANGER COLT
(shouting)
You know, I’m gonna enjoy this!
I’ll tell you what I do - I’ll give
you a head start. Can’t be fairer
than that! Unless - you want me to
close my eyes too? Maybe have one
hand behind my back?

Roy finally forces the gun into his holster. He breathes out
slowly.

ROY
Come on, Roy, you got this.

RANGER COLT
Keep tellin’ yourself that!

Roy glances over at Patty, willing him on with both fists and
every fiber of her being.

Next at Sean in tears with his hands over his eyes - and a
RANDOM COWBOY with an arm around his little friend.

Little Bear is distracted, working the crowd and trying


unsuccessfully to sell jam. Karl offers Roy a confident wink.

On the ground, Clint looks up to Roy and forces a smile


between the bouts of pain, and nods. They share a moment.
82.

Then past Clint - the Saloon - the doors swing open and Billy
rushes out, pistol in hand and eyes shut.

Roy looks back at the Ranger ... and draws.

He pulls the rusty, long-barreled gun out of the holster and


then through an upward arc towards the Ranger. The Ranger is
slowly responding, with his hand already on his weapon.

Roy pulls the trigger -- but nothing happens. He pulls again.


He doesn’t have the strength to fire it. He brings his other
hand quickly round and heaves with all his might - but the
gun slips from his grasp.

Colt smiles, and closes one eye as he carefully takes aim.

Roy’s gun spins as it drops to the ground in slow motion --

His face contorts as he fumbles, trying to catch it --

It lands upside down, the force of the fall drops the hammer.
The bullet flies true and ERUPTS straight through Ranger
Colt’s eye socket.

His lifeless body drops to his knees, then keels over. The
men in the crowd scream, the women chant and whoop!

Patty, Karl and Sean race to congratulate Roy. Clint tries to


protect himself from being trampled on.

Roy falls to his knees, overcome by his near miss.

Billy screams as he lunges past Roy towards the Ranger - but


slows when he realizes he needn’t have bothered. He holsters
the gun as WHISTLES startle the crowd. PINKERTON DETECTIVES,
in their bowler hats, wade in and beat citizens with batons.

A Pinkerton Lieutenant, VIRGIL (40), pushes his way through


the crowd. African-American, smart, unshakeable ... yet right
now hysterical, his voice an octave or two higher.

VIRGIL
(to Roy)
What on earth have you done to our
town? What do you think this is?
England?!

Billy rests a hand on the Lieutenant’s shoulder.

BILLY
Virgil! I can explain.

VIRGIL
(pointing to the body)
And who is that?!
83.

PATTY
Well, while your men were hidin’,
that Ranger over there--

VIRGIL
A Texas Ranger?!

BILLY
No, an imposter. Surely. We think.
He’s claiming to be a Ranger by the
name of - what did he say it was?

VIRGIL
Billy?! - What are you doing out of
the saloon?!

BILLY
Check his body for papers. I bet
the name on his badge doesn’t even
match up.

VIRGIL
You know I don’t need this right
now. Re-elections are in May!

Virgil blows his WHISTLE - his men manhandle Billy and the
posse. Roy is cuffed face down, even Clint is kicked. Again.

BILLY
Virgil!

VIRGIL
Just a formality. Nothin’ your kind
ain’t used to.

In the distance from the dead Ranger’s pockets the Deputies


pull out an arsenal of weaponry: Ninja Stars, nunchucks, a
stick of dynamite...

INT. MCKINNEY - POST OFFICE - DAY

Wheeler is busy stealing papers and bonds from the Post


Office when there is a commotion outside. Two BIKE MESSENGER
BOYS are dispatched from a Western Union store across the
street, one hurries to the small Pinkerton office.

At the doorway, a PINKERTON AGENT (30) in bowler hat reads


the paper, then glances up at the Post Office nervously. He
cautiously backs away and makes his way inside.

RANGER WHEELER
(to the Operator)
What was that? What was on that
message?

He grabs the Operator and hauls him up out of his chair. The
Operator fiddles with his green eyeshade visor.
84.

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
T-that’s a different wire system!
We can’t know what they’re saying.

RANGER WHEELER
Find out what was on that message!

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
I can’t! It’s impossible!

Wheeler throws him to one side. He checks the chamber of his


gun, holsters it, fixes his hat and exits the Post Office.

INT./EXT. POST OFFICE / MAIN STREET

The Telegram Operator watches the Ranger walk briskly across


the street to the Western Union store and barge inside.

There is a commotion.

The Ranger leaves with a stack of transcribed messages,


reading them intently as he walks out into the street.

The Ranger stops dead.

The Operator ducks down beneath the window. He forces open a


section of the blinds to peer out.

There is a HOWL of anguish from Wheeler.

The Operator presses his ear against the glass.

Wheeler stops outside the Pinkerton office - and commands the


agents to come out.

Slowly the door opens and out steps two PINKERTON DEPUTIES
and BLACKFOOT (60) - a grey-bearded, barrel-chested, pirate-
looking man with a clubfoot, all with their hands up.

BLACKFOOT
(muffled)
I turned a blind eye, but enough--

The Telegram Operator rushes back over to the telegram


machine and sends out an all-dispatch morse SOS.

The silence is broken by GUNSHOTS.

The Operator’s hand shakes as he waits in the darkness.

The locked door begins to shake and RATTLE. The Operator


quickly types one last message before the door BREAKS.

Wheeler stands in the doorway with a smoking gun and blood


oozing from a wound in his arm. He studies the Operator’s
face with his finger on the telegram machine. He tuts.
85.

RANGER WHEELER
I was beginning to like you, too.

The Operator looks at the machine -- and bravely TAPS again.

Wheeler pulls the TRIGGER.

INT. AUSTIN - JAIL CELL - DAY

Billy, Roy and his posse are crammed on benches in the jail
with hands cuffed behind their backs. Sean has gone fully
ancestral, singing a Comanche ballad in the far corner.

Clint is as white as a ghost having lost more blood. His


other leg has been crudely bandaged up. Roy is sat on the
floor with his chin on his chest.

BILLY
(to Roy)
I’m with you for one day and I’m
already in a shoot-out with Texas
Rangers - and back in a jail cell.

CLINT
You get used to it.

CRAZY KARL
That’s true. I'm beginning to think
he's not a Doctor after all.

The AUSTIN SHERIFF, almost identical in appearance to Roy’s


portly town Sheriff, is trying to juggle a mountain of new
paperwork on his desk.

Billy stares at Roy, a broken man. He kicks him.

BILLY
Hey, snap out of it. You did the
right thing. Him or us.

Roy looks up to his father and nods gratefully. Patty rests


her leg against Roy, her foot playfully by his side.

SEAN
At least you have a father!

Little Bear turns towards his brother and stares him deep in
the eye.

LITTLE BEAR
Cherokee say, ‘When you were born,
you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you
die, the world cries and you
rejoice’.
(MORE)
86.
LITTLE BEAR (CONT’D)
Regard Heaven as your father, Earth
as your Mother and all things as
your Brothers and Sisters. The soul
would have no rainbow if the eye
had no tears.

Karl tries to hide a tear at these profound words as Sean


lets it all out, comforted by his brother. Billy TAPS his
handcuffs on the bench in support.

PATTY
That was beautiful, Little Bear.

LITTLE BEAR
Also say: ‘When the white man
discovered this country, Native
Indians were running it. No taxes,
no debt, women did all the work.
Only the white man thought he could
improve on a system like this!’

The mood has turned. Billy winces, Patty glares.

CLINT
(nodding)
True. Wise words.

Roy steals a glance at Patty and smiles as he massages her


foot. Clint coughs.

PATTY
(to the Sheriff)
Can my friend here have some help?

CLINT
Oh, so now I’m just your ‘friend’?

PATTY
Five minutes ago you told we were
through. What was it? ‘No more
beans and no more horses’?

Roy and Billy share a knowing glance. Clint folds his arms.

CLINT
A cup of coffee would be nice
though.

A BIKE MESSENGER BOY hurries into the jail out of breath.

MESSENGER
Pop, there’s been a shoot-out! Up
in McKinney. Texas Rangers. Opened
fire on the detectives. Shot their
place up real bad!

The fugitives shuffle uncomfortably. The Sheriff barely looks


up from his papers.
87.

SHERIFF
McKinney?! Not my problem, son.

He waves him away as his boy races outside with the news.

PATTY
(whispering, to Roy)
The Rangers could be here any
minute! We’re sitting ducks, you
have to think of sumtin’.

She moves her face closer and looks him in the eye.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Please, Roy.

Game over. He nods with steely determination.

ROY
I’m on it.

Roy shuffles back and pushes up against the wall.

Suddenly with a CRUNCH he knocks his shoulder out of joint.


Billy winces. Roy struggles and then lifts his legs through
the handcuffs one at a time to work the cuffs from the front.

He takes a deep breath and then slams his shoulder against


the wall, working it back in place.

The Sheriff looks up from his paperwork and peers across at


the prisoners, who smile innocently, then back to his work.

Roy approaches Patty and delicately removes a pin from her


hair. She smiles. Clint frowns.

He picks the lock to his cuffs and then palms the pin to
Billy who has no trouble undoing his own chains.

BILLY
Page fifty-two?

Roy nods. Billy smiles proudly, then helps the others.

Roy looks around the jail - there is a little, black coal


burner at the far wall, with a chimney reaching to the roof.
He whispers something to Patty. She nods then discreetly
fumbles in her underskirts and pulls out the Colt peacemaker.

Roy returns to the cell door, aims the pistol at the tripod
legs of the chimney, squints one eye ... and nothing happens.

Billy takes over. He lines up the shot, FIRES and takes out
the front-left metal leg. The Sheriff jolts up.
88.

Billy FIRES again and takes out the front-right leg. The
Sheriff scurries around his desk as the coal burner topples
forward - the chimney section WHACKING him on the head and
knocking him out cold.

Several red hot coals fall out the grill and black smoke
belches out the chimney top near the cell door.

ROY
(to Clint)
Quick! Give me your jacket!

CLINT
What? No!

Roy manhandles Clint. He rips off his flamboyant poncho and


yanks off his jacket underneath, then wraps it around the hot
chimney stack and shakes it vigorously until a few hot coals
CLANK as they tumble down the pipe.

He catches them in the jacket and spins it around to trap


them in the fibers, then wraps it around several bars of the
cell door near the lock and tightens.

Roy SLAPS his handcuffs under the wrapped, hot jacket, while
Billy tightens his cuffs above the jacket. Smoke rises up
from the jacket and the bars sweat.

A few more taps on each ratchet to squeeze the bars tighter --


and the lock SPRINGS loose - the door swings open.

The gang race out of the cell and out the main door as flames
IGNITE and thick smoke hangs in the air. Karl and Little Bear
haul out the Sheriff.

EXT. AUSTIN - MAIN STREET

The posse gather out on Main Street. Several TELEGRAM


MESSENGER BOYS cycle past them, out of breath.

Flames engulf the jail house as a crowd starts to form.

ROY
Let’s not hang around. Be back here
in five!

Billy has snatched a telegram from one of the boys and holds
it aloft as he reads, out of the boy’s reach.

BILLY
Not just McKinney. Y’all better
take a look.

Patty takes the paper:


89.

INSERT

Telegram: TEXAS RANGER HOLDS TOWN NEAR MCKINNEY TO RANSOM.


JUDGE, SHERIFF AND BANK MANAGER MISSING. STOP.

Patty looks to Roy nervously. Roy sighs and looks to the


others, who nod as one. Except Clint. Shaking his head.
Pulling on his scorched jacket with holes where there was
once hot coals. And trying to balance on two bad legs.

CLINT
Hold on a minute - you’re going
back?! What if I liked the idea of
crossing the border?!

Billy catches a brightly-colored dress out the corner of his


eye in the saloon.

BILLY
If y’all just excuse me...

He jogs over to the jilted Saloon Girl, Marie, standing at


the entrance dabbing her eyes.

EXT. BLACKSMITHS

Meanwhile Karl is staring at the Blacksmith working in his


open-fronted shop.

BLACKSMITH
What now?

CRAZY KARL
How fast can you shoe a mare?

BLACKSMITH
You callin’ me slow?

CRAZY KARL
Step aside, hombre.

He rolls up his sleeves.

INT. GENERAL STORE

Roy and Patty barge into the Mom and Pop General Store but
today only POP (50), in a clean white apron, is serving. He
stops dead and holds out his hands as Patty takes out the
heavy revolver - then she drops it on the counter.

ROY
Do you happen to have a gun that
was, perhaps, made for the fairer
sex? Not dainty per-say, just for
smaller hands?
90.

The store owner looks to Patty, confused, and nods.

EXT. MAIN STREET

Roy discreetly slips his new purchase into his pocket. He


looks across as Billy and Marie have an animated discussion.

ROY
We don’t have time for this, I’m
going over.

PATTY
Roy, just give them a minute.

ROY
I know he has friends to say
goodbye to, but - wait - you don’t?
... I never knew my real mom--

Patty shakes her head, but shrugs. Roy’s face drops.

Billy races over with a giddy Marie in tow.

BILLY
Ah, Roy - I’d like to introduce you
to Marie she’s my, er ...

MARIE
Oh come now, Billy, I think he’s
old enough to know the truth.

Roy raises his hand to shake but she pushes it aside and
squeezes him tight.

MARIE (CONT’D)
I’ve been looking forward to
meeting you, young Roy! I’m Marie.
I’ve been your father’s fiancée for
- let me see - how many years now?

BILLY
I, er, the President was--

MARIE
Fifteen. Fifteen years, four months
and three days, Billy.

Roy tries to do the math in his head.

BILLY
Well, yes, but it’s difficult to
get a Padre to step inside the
saloon, to be fair.

She digs him in the ribs.


91.

BILLY (CONT’D)
We’ve been doing some thinkin’ -
I’ve been doin’ the thinkin’ ...
with all this fiasco you’ve brought
here, maybe it’s a time for new
beginnings. So - we’re coming with!
Who knows, might make an honest
woman again outta this one yet!

Marie claps her hands together excitedly.

Roy staggers away. He glances back to see them grind against


each other and kiss passionately. He shudders.

As he is preparing his horse’s saddle, Billy whistles.

BILLY (CONT’D)
Haven’t been on a horse for years!

Roy spies the German automobile further up the street with


the Pinkerton Deputies giving it a polish.

ROY
Hold on, I’ve got an idea.

As they hurry away, Virgil staggers up the street.

He reaches the Jail as the roof COLLAPSES in on itself and


the crowd are engulfed in smoke. He drops a stack of papers
and holds both hands to his head in disbelief.

INSERT

Among the dropped papers is an old Wanted Poster for a mean-


looking Colt Trickle: $5000 reward - Dead or Alive!

In the distance, Roy’s posse are commandeering the vehicle.

EXT. ROAD OUTSIDE MCKINNEY - DAY

On the only route south out of town, Wheeler’s car is idle,


blocking the road. Wheeler is sat on top of his car’s roof;
grinding his teeth, spitting tobacco and oiling a shotgun.

In the distance a trail of dust slowly approaches, obscured


by the heat off the road surface.

Wheeler turns and slips down into his car. He hauls out a
rifle from the back seat and fixes it into place on a
vertical metal bracket near the wing-mirror.

RANGER WHEELER
Choke on this!

Wheeler fires several shots into the air. And waits.

He growls, adjusts to the left, and fires a few more rounds.


92.

EXT./INT. SOUTHERN ROAD / GERMAN CAR - MOVING

Sean and Little Bear ride at the front of a convoy, leading


Billy and Marie, then Karl - then the convertible driven by
Roy, with Patty shotgun and Clint sprawled out in the back.
Billy shakes his head in awe at the fine motor.

Roy adjusts the mirror and rests an arm casually out the
window. He glances over at Patty and smiles as they stare
into each other’s eyes. He could get used to this. Clint is
ranting away in the back seat, completely ignored.

A puff of smoke springs up from the ground to their right. A


few seconds later there is another puff as air releases from
the ground to their left. Roy turns to peer at the trail of
dust. Then they hear the CRACK of a rifle firing far away.

ROY
Cover!

The posse rein their horses as a round buries itself into the
hood of the motor and the radiator BURSTS. A cloud of hot air
springs up from the engine and the car SPLUTTERS to a halt.

Another round SMASHES into a glass jam jar.

Clint sits up as a round falls and buries itself into his


shoulder. He yelps in pain.

Roy and Patty jump out of the car and dive for cover. Roy’s
posse pull their horses to the ground.

Roy’s shirt is covered in a dark, red liquid. He falls


against the side of the car, clutching his chest. Patty holds
him close as a tear swells ... then the aroma hits.

She sticks a finger in his wound - then sniffs - and licks


the remaining jam off her finger. She smacks him playfully.

BILLY
Roy! We’re sitting ducks here!

Another round falls from the clouds not far away.

Clint whimpers in pain, again.

ROY
That man is a magnet, I swear it.
(shouting to Clint)
You sure you don't have any ferrous
metal inside of you?

PATTY
(hits him)
Roy!
93.

ROY
I’m just sayin’! It's kinda
strange.

Patty is lost in his eyes as he holds her tight.

PATTY
Think of sumpin’, cowboy. You can’t
die here - my father will want to
murder you first ... after I tell
him I’m not marrying Clint.

Roy stares at her - ‘really’? Already kneeling, instinctively


he searches through his pockets and pulls out - his father’s
old ring. She shakes her head.

PATTY (CONT’D)
Maybe we start with a coffee.

Patty smiles and wraps it around her thumb.

Roy looks across to Sean. Sean points to his heart.

SEAN
‘A brave man dies once. But a
coward, many times.’

Roy nods and puts his hand in his pockets. He pulls out - a
delicate lady’s pistol, bright pink. He nods to the others.

ROY
Glory or dust.

PATTY
Don’t you be doing anythin’ stupid!

In full view, Roy stretches over and kisses her passionately.

Clint screams.

CLINT
Noooooooo!

Roy leaps up and takes the reins to Burrito from Billy.

ROY
Come on, boy. Just you and me now.

Billy blocks Roy’s path with a hand on the saddle.

BILLY
You really think I’d let’ya take
all the glory?

Roy smiles as Billy beckons Old Nelly and clambers up.

Roy jumps into Burrito’s saddle. Patty and Marie hold each
other as they watch their brave men turn the horses round.
94.

Roy and Billy tip their hats gamely to the women. Roy’s horse
rears up, impressively, then they ride towards the Ranger.

EXT. RANGER VEHICLE

Wheeler spits out his tobacco and lowers the rifle.

RANGER WHEELER
Well, would you look at this?

EXT. SOUTHERN ROAD

Roy WHIPS Burrito as he starts to pick up speed.

ROY
Giddy’up, Burrito!

Billy struggles to race alongside and takes out his pistol.

BILLY
I hope you thought this through!

EXT. RANGER VEHICLE

Wheeler hurries and grabs a heavy machine gun from the back
seat.

He strides out in front of his automobile and takes a stand


in the middle of the road.

When Roy is a few hundred yards away he OPENS FIRE.

EXT. SOUTHERN ROAD

Roy flinches as the bullets pass by his head and makes


himself more streamline. He grits his teeth and closes his
eyes. Billy cuts in front and bravely uses his body as a
shield. He reels off a few SHOTS at distance.

Miraculously the Ranger’s bullets pass by, TEARING UP the


terrain or hitting thin air.

Roy reaches into his jacket and pulls out the dainty gun.

He stretches out his arm towards the barricade.

He holds his breath then pulls with all his might on the
trigger.

The gun FIRES --

Roy looks away --


95.

EXT. RANGER VEHICLE

The bullet flashes past the Ranger - and into the engine of
his car. It hits the petrol tank and the car EXPLODES on top
of a mushroom cloud of flames and metal parts.

Roy reins in Burrito before they reach the wreckage.

All that remains of Ranger Wheeler is a charred Stetson that


floats back down to earth.

Billy slows and whistles with respect.

EXT. SOUTHERN ROAD

Roy’s posse whoop and dance with delight. Patty claps


excitedly.

CRAZY KARL
That’s my papi!

Roy’s posse pull their horses up and jump into the saddles to
join Roy. Patty and Marie hitch a ride.

Clint sits up in the back seat.

CLINT
I’m still injured here, in case
anybody cares?! I’ve been shot, you
know!

Sean throws a comforter blanket over Clint, as he rides past


with Patty on his horse. Patty shrugs.

EXT. RANGER VEHICLE

Roy peers through the flames. A cache of ammunition DETONATES


from the wreckage like fireworks in the sky.

EXT. MCKINNEY - MAIN STREET - LATER

Roy, Billy, Patty, Karl, Marie, Sean and Little Bear enter
the town to cheers and applause, pulling their horses in tow.

The CITIZENS enthusiastically shake the hands of their heroes


as they thread through the crowd on foot.

Blackfoot and his bandaged deputies fight their way through,


all with arms in slings or on crutches.

BLACKFOOT
Billy! Never thought I’d see the
day you left your bachelor pad!

Billy grabs him by the scruff of the neck.


96.

BLACKFOOT (CONT’D)
Woah, easy! We’re all friends here!

BILLY
What you done with my money,
Blackfoot?!

BLACKFOOT
Billy, ‘ma old mate. You told me to
take care of the boy and that’s
what I did! I didn’t have the heart
to tell him the truth.

Billy is held back by Sean and Little Bear.

BLACKFOOT (CONT’D)
(shouting)
I’d go to that town every year and
buy the most cross-eyed, bow-legged
animals you ever seen - and it
would cost me an arm and a leg to
get rid of ‘em! You can’t just
shoot them in the head, people
don’t like stuff like that!

BILLY
So you kept the money instead?

BLACKFOOT
It’s the foot! You know how it ails
me. Meds are expensive!

He points to his leg - and an oversized black foot.

PATTY
(to Roy)
Ah, so that’s why they call him
Blackfoot.

The crowd swarm round and the Pinkertons are lost in the
melee. Blackfoot has to shout to make his voice heard.

BLACKFOOT
I have orders - your names are all
over the wire! We’ve been waitin’
for you to show! I still need to
question you, Roy, even if you are
like family to me! Unless ... you
can give me sumptin’?

The Telegram Operator pushes his way through, hugging a


bundle of papers, bonds and wanted posters - very much alive
but with a bandage on his hand where his thumb should be.

TELEGRAM OPERATOR
Mr. Blackfoot, sir, if it’s proof
you want, I have it here!
97.

Blackfoot takes the stack and whistles.

ROY
(to the crowd)
What happened to the other Ranger?

BLACKFOOT
Ah, he took off the other day. Off
towards your town. He wasn’t on one
of your horses Roy, so you’d better
hurry if you wanna catch him.

BILLY
(to Roy)
Do I need to ask?

ROY
Let’s finish this.

BILLY
That’s my boy!

Clint hobbles towards them on two crutches - the crowd


depart just as he arrives, missing his moment.

EXT. ROY’S TOWN - MAIN STREET / BANK - NIGHT

The town is eerily quiet as Roy’s posse bustle down Main


Street. Half the street lights are burning. All the houses
and stores are locked shut.

The Bank is the only building with lights on inside - and


outside a solitary figure -- the Bank Manager’s wife,
anxiously pacing and wearing the ground thin. Ben and Jerry
have moved their bench to the veranda of a store across the
street from the bank to watch the action.

Mrs. Deburgh shields her eyes from the glare.

MRS. DEBURGH
Patty? Patty - is that you?

Patty jumps down from her horse and runs into her arms.

PATTY
Mom! Oh, it’s so good to see you!

MRS. DEBURGH
My girl! We thought we’d never see
you again! That - that man said you
had been kidnapped! He wanted his
money!

They both cry tears of joy.

Roy coughs nervously and leans down from his horse.


98.

ROY
Ma’am, can I ask what happened--

MRS. DEBURGH
YOU!

She jumps up at Roy in a flash and pulls him from his horse.
Roy lands with a nasty THUD and lies winded on the ground.
Mrs. Deburgh throttles him as he lies prone.

PATTY
Mom, no!

EXT. STORE VERANDA

Ben passes a cigar to Jerry.

BEN
Not a good fighter.

JERRY
More a lover, I would say.

EXT. MAIN STREET

Mrs. Deburgh drops Roy and looks up at the other faces - at


the back of the pack on a small pony is Clint.

MRS. DEBURGH
Clint? I don’t ... I don’t
understand--

CLINT
Trust me, you wouldn’t believe me
if I tried.

Patty helps a dazed Roy to his feet.

PATTY
Mom, Roy saved Clint’s life! He
saved all of our lives. Those men
were not Rangers - it was all a
scam! Proud folk would pump up
reward money and they would be only
too glad to take it! Clint bribed
them with our money, Roy didn’t
take a dime! And now me and Clint
are not... while me and Roy are--

MRS. DEBURGH
Oh, oh ... I see.

PATTY
Where’s father?
99.

Mrs. Deburgh’s expression changes again, to fear. She points


at the Bank.

MRS. DEBURGH
The Ranger took them! The Judge and
Sheriff too! They’re all inside -
locked in the vault! He said he
wants the reward money but the
vault’s empty - I don’t understand!
He’ll kill them all if he isn’t
paid soon!

Billy gives Mrs. Deburgh a quick comforting hug.

BILLY
We’ve got this.
(to Patty)
This vault. Do you know specifics?

PATTY
Eighteen-eighty-five, state-of-the-
art! Combination lock. Double-lined
and heat sealed, solid steel. It’s
unbreakable!

BILLY
An eighteen-eighty-five combi? I
can pick that boy with my little
finger and a twitch in one eye.
(to Clint)
Here, make yourself useful--

He slaps his behind and gives him an empty canteen to fill.


Clint grumbles and hobbles away on his crutches.

Roy surveys the scene quickly.

ROY
(to Sean)
Got any more of ‘grandpa’s old
cough mixture’ about still?

SEAN
Boss want - da boom sticks?

ROY
(smiling)
Fetch ‘em, quick.

Sean and Little Bear race off to Roy’s old place.

BILLY
(to Roy)
Might be able to claim that other
reward. Whatcha thinking?
100.

ROY
Only brick building in town. Not
easy. It’s gonna be a challenge.

Crazy Karl’s ears pick up as he joins them. Scratching his


stubble, he surveys the Bank.

CRAZY KARL
Floor?

PATTY
Solid concrete.

CRAZY KARL
Windows?

PATTY
Bars.

CRAZY KARL
Back door?

PATTY
None.

CRAZY KARL
Roof?

PATTY
If you can get up there?

Crazy Karl punches the air.

CRAZY KARL
I got this, I got this.

ROY
Karl? Don’t do anything crazy--

CRAZY KARL
Papi, please. You know me.

He jumps on his horse and gallops towards the side of the


building.

Glass from a window pane in the bank is SMASHED - a hand


emerges and FIRES into the darkness, but misses the bandit.

Karl swings up onto the saddle, then vaults and catches a


window ledge. He hauls himself up and scrambles to the roof.

There is silence --

Then a CRASH as Karl disappears out of view.

Clint returns with the canteen, still ridden with bullets and
hobbling. Billy snatches it and takes a swig.
101.

BILLY
(spitting it out)
What is this? Water?!

He throws it aside, wipes his mouth with his sleeve, then


hurries towards the bank, keeping in the shadows.

Patty turns away, comforted by her mother. Clint coughs and


approaches them.

CLINT
Mrs. Deburgh, first let me--

Mrs. Deburgh SLAPS him hard, so hard that he turns a whole


360, spinning on one crutch, then stands frozen.

MRS. DEBURGH
Don’t ever talk to my family again!

She turns back to Patty who nods and holds her mom tight.

Sean stumbles back with a few sticks of dynamite. Roy


clutches them, glances around, and slips away quietly.

Inside the Bank there is a one-sided firefight. GUNSHOTS


illuminate various rooms.

Chairs, tables and glass are SMASHED like dominos falling.

Suddenly the front door bursts open, a bedraggled Ranger Tex


stumbles out - he FIRES blindly in the direction of the bank -
until his chamber is empty and every pull on the trigger
CLICKS harmlessly.

Panting heavily and nursing his shoulder, he throws the gun


at a shadow emerging in the doorway - Crazy Karl.

Tex freezes when he sees Roy’s posse in the street. He looks


around, then darts for the nearest building - the Jail.

He makes it inside and SLAMS the door.

A few seconds later the door is opened again, and Ted and
Clarence are thrown out.

At the Bank entrance, Billy and Karl usher out Patty’s


father, the Judge and Sheriff to safety.

Patty runs into her father’s arms.

Crazy Karl looks back at his work, and nods to himself.

BILLY
Yeah, alright, amigo. I guess that
was muy bueno. Where’s Roy?
102.

INT. JAIL CELL

Tex has locked and barred the door. He already has the
Sheriff’s keys from the table. He grabs a shotgun, enters the
main cell and locks the cell door behind him.

He throws himself down on the bench, breathing heavily, and


hangs his head in his hands to gather his thoughts.

He sits up straight and points the shotgun towards the door.

RANGER TEX
(shouting)
Now listen up, Boy! Let’s end this.
Just me and you, back where this
all started. Unless you’re a yella-
bellied boot-lickin’ coward who
won’t face me alone?!

All is still, the only noises outside seem distant.

Suddenly ... a black fuse pops itself over the window to the
cell, twists and then descends to the bench.

It twists again and snakes around the Ranger towards the


open, wooden, toilet seat in the corner.

The Ranger opens his eyes and stares inquisitively at the


black fuse, as it drops into the hole.

There is a FIZZ as the fuse ignites, then a SPARK as the


small flame jumps over the cell wall through the window gap.

EXT. JAIL

The posse watch the Jail from a short distance and overhear
an almighty commotion as the cell door is RATTLED and kicked.
It is forced open with a CLANG just in time before...

KABAM

A plume of brown smoke evaporates out through the window and


is lost into the night sky.

Everybody instinctively holds their nose. Clarence smiles,


pats his belly and winks at Billy.

INT. JAIL

Roy, disguised as The Shadow with black bandana to cover his


face and nose, eases open the door to the jail house.

Tex is sprawled face-down on the stained floorboards, his


limbs gently shaking in spasms, covered in brown sludge that
has redecorated the walls. Roy stands over the body.
103.

With his boot he nudges the Ranger over onto his back.
Noticing something on his coat lapel, Roy reaches down and
removes the Ranger’s badge delicately between his finger and
thumb, then wipes it clean.

As he turns to leave, Ranger Tex wakes with a jolt and coughs


up something ugly.

RANGER TEX
You! How ...? You’re ... you’re
just a used-horse salesman!

Roy turns. Both sets of eyes glance down to Tex’s shotgun.

ROY
I’m an entrepreneur.

Tex lunges for the shotgun as Roy removes his dainty pistol
and fires at the shotgun. The bullet hits a cartridge primer
inside the open chamber. A mini EXPLOSION burns Tex’s
reaching hand and buckshot hits him in the face.

Tex screams. Half-blind he stands and shuffles across the


floor throwing big roundhouse punches at Roy. Roy dodges
until he stands with his back against the open cell door.

Tex prepares a giant haymaker of a punch but slips on the


greasy floorboards. Roy steps aside and kicks the Ranger into
the cell, head first into the broken toilet.

Roy closes and locks the cell door, removing the keys.

ROY (CONT’D)
When the sun comes up ... you’d
best still be sleepin’.

EXT. JAIL

The front door to the Jail opens and Roy steps out -- to
CHEERS and raucous applause.

Patty races forward and whips him off his feet with a kiss.

Billy grabs and twirls Mrs. Deburgh around.

BILLY
I taught him that! I really did!

He forgets himself and plants her down, then shakes her hand.
She blushes. Mr Deburgh fumes with jealousy. Billy turns to
Marie instead and wraps his arms around her.

Little Bear nudges Clint. Clint brings a finger to his face


to wipe away something Little Bear noticed - then the finger
to his nose - then dry-heaves instantly with the nasty smell.

Little Bear laughs and punches him in the arm affectionately.


104.

Karl punches the air, victorious.

CUT TO BLACK:

ROY (V.O.)
Yep, that’s the story of ol’ Roy.

FADE IN:

EXT. CHURCH - DAY

A champagne bottle is BROKEN on the side of a horse-drawn


wedding cart. A crowd of people cheer as Roy, dressed in a
smart suit, kisses his new bride Patty. She wears a beautiful
diamond ring.

ROY (V.O.)
Well, after that day there was no
stopping us. I finally married the
woman of my dreams - the old ‘ball
and chain’ - it’s a life sentence,
ol’Roy was caught good - but he’s
not breakin’ outta this one.

The cart jolts as it is pulled away by Burrito and Old Nelly -


with an elegantly suited Little Bear as their driver.

The happy couple wave to their friends: Billy and Marie are
both proud as punch; Mr. Deburgh is scowling next to his
wife; Big Bear punches the Bank Manager in the arm and
ruffles his few strands of hair; Sean and Jane applaud; Ben,
Jerry and many other townsfolk toast to their happiness.

EXT. HARVARD UNIVERSITY - DAY

Karl fixes a bow-tie in place, then climbs the steps outside


the famous university.

ROY (V.O.)
Crazy Karl took up a new challenge -
became a Professor of Psychology at
this fancy big University somewhere
across country.

EXT./INT. ROY'S YARD - DAY

The yard is gleaming and a shadow of its former self. It is


now a fancy, rustic restaurant with barrels of hay and crates
of dark soda bottles everywhere.

ROY (V.O.)
Sean married Jim - I mean, Jane.
And soon enough had many ginger-
haired babies of their own. Who
knew he had the gift of the gab?
105.

Sean entices a WELL-TO-DO BUSINESS COUPLE out for a stroll


with shots of a dark soda on a platter, without much luck.

Finally the man gives in and has a taste -- and beckons his
wife over quickly, overcome with excitement.

ROY (V.O.)
He kept the key to the yard and
managed to clean the place up
something nice. Apparently he is
selling something to do with a
sweet-tasting cough mixture or
other. Yet to have his big break
but at least it keeps him busy.

INT. RENO CASINO - NIGHT

Billy, cigar in mouth and hiding behind his cards, is sat at


a crowded casino poker table with MEAN GAMBLERS. All eyes are
on him expectantly.

ROY (V.O.)
Pops worked the route all the way
up to the bright lights - of Reno.

Billy smiles and fans his cards out onto the felt. There is a
loud groan from the punters who toss their cards. Billy
SCRAPES all the winning chips towards him and catches the eye
of Marie, off at the bar, in turn keeping tabs on the vault.

INT. BIG BEAR RESIDENCE - BARN - DAY

In a barn surrounded by crates and crates of jam, Billy


unenthusiastically shakes an ecstatic Big Bear’s hand.

ROY (V.O.)
He paid his dues supporting his old
pals - and even invested in a new
business. He’s a true entrepreneur,
just like his Grand-Pappy.

They turn to face Little Bear and hold the pose as the FLASH
of an elaborate box camera POOFS to capture the deal.

INT. HOSPITAL - DAY

A fully-bandaged Clint is lying in a hospital bed -


desperately RINGING the bell for attention while NURSES at
the station ignore his pleas for help.

ROY (V.O.)
And what became of Horatio
Richards? Well, he came down with a
nasty case of dysentery - from
ingesting some nasty bacteria.
(MORE)
106.
ROY (V.O.) (CONT'D)
But he was exonerated by the Judge
for most of his crimes and made a
full recovery. Apparently he had
enough lead in his body to bend
spoons!

One ATTRACTIVE NURSE finally answers his call. Clint is


instantly smitten.

ROY (V.O.)
He fell in love with his nurse. I
heard they soon got married.

EXT. TOWN HOUSE - DAY

Clint stands on the lawn, sobbing and staring at a spacious


town house with a foreclosure sign out front, a divorce paper
in his hand and a box of clothes at his feet.

ROY (V.O.)
Then I also heard he cheated on her
and she took him to the cleaners.
Only place that would hire him was
a start-up way out West, something-
or-other about moving pictures.
It’ll never take off. I read they
pay him to take the place of good
lookin’ guys and get shot or beaten
up instead. Each to their own.

EXT. CANYON - DAY

Roy and Patty rest Burrito and Old Nelly peacefully on top a
canyon with a vista view. Roy is busy scribbling a final
sentence into his family’s packed ‘how to’ journal.

ROY (V.O.)
As for our next adventure?

Patty, wearing expensive jewelry, looks across to her husband


and touches his arm as he stuffs the journal inside his back
pocket.

PATTY
It’s official, I told my father.
I’m gonna take your surname.

ROY
Well, well, well! Mrs ‘Independent’
Deburgh wants a bit more of ol’
Roy, huh?! I should have warned you
though, officially you’ll need to
use the new one. I changed it at
the orphanage.

Patty raises an eyebrow. He checks his pocket watch.


107.

ROY (CONT’D)
I didn’t tell you?
(he tips his hat)
There’s no going back now ... Mrs.
Cake!

He winks, releases her hand and pulls up a blue bandana to


cover his face before he gallops off down the ridge.

PATTY
(shouting after him)
Hold on a second - your official
surname is Cake? I'm going to be
Patty ... Cake?! Roy? Roy!

She fixes on a bandana and opens her jacket to reveal an


official-looking 5-peso lone-star Texas Ranger badge. She
chases after Roy on Old Nelly down the ridge ...

chasing, in turn, a group of OUTLAWS ...

--towards an oncoming armored prisoner-convoy train nearing a


bend in the canyon.

FADE OUT.

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