attendant spirits

a meditative solo journaling game about belief

by Alyx Hanson
YOU NEED TO BELIEVE IN THINGS THAT AREN'T
TRUE. HOW ELSE CAN THEY BECOME?

~ Death, in Hogfather by Terry Pratchett

What if you really believed in yourself? What if your

growing edges were opportunities? What if you treated
yourself with the same compassion you would extend
to others? What could you accomplish if you saw
yourself as an agent of change?

attendant spirits is a meditative game of journaling

prompts that encourage the player to explore potential
answers to these questions and more. It is a game that
leans into the transformative potential of imagination
and play, offering the player an opportunity to practice
skills they may be hesitant to use in their "real" life.

The game imagines a world in which an entity called an

"attendant spirit" is observing you in your everyday life.
This spirit is not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent
—unlike humans, they are not a part of physical reality—
but they are generally compassionate and want what's
best for the humans they are watching, and to that end
will whisper inspiration and encouragement in the ears of
those they observe.

Rather than playing the game from the perspective of

your human self, you will play as the attendant spirit who
is observing you. The game will offer some exercises for
envisioning and embodying this spirit during play.
Randomized journaling prompts will create a series of
vignettes of moments that you, as the attendant spirit,
watch your human self face everyday situations. Your job as
the attendant spirit is to gently whisper wisdom and
encouragement to the human you are observing, and bear
compassionate witness to how they respond to and move
through these situations.

Some of the situations will play to the strengths of your

human self; others will highlight growing edges, or areas
where your human self might feel a sense of lack. You are
encouraged to particularly lean into the more challenging
prompts as opportunities to see where and how you might
grow. That said, if any of the journaling prompts feel
overwhelming, you are invited to skip or rework them in a
way that feels more accessible and within your current
capacity. Alternatively, you can put the game down and
come back later, or walk away from the game entirely at
any time. Your safety is the most important thing.

Required materials:

• A candle, some incense, or another way of marking the

time and space as special
• A journal (whether analog or digital)
• Some means to write in this journal
• A deck of tarot cards, separated into major arcana and
minor arcana (see the appendix for alternate rules and
materials if you don't have a deck of tarot cards handy)

Let's begin.
Part 1: Envisioning and Embodying an
Attendant Spirit
First, light your candle or incense, or perform some other
small act of ritual to establish this time as something
special and outside of your day-to-day life.

Who are you as an attendant spirit? Attendant spirits

don't have physical manifestations, but they can still take
many forms. For example, an attendant spirit could be:

• The spirit of a dear departed ancestor (remember: not

all ancestors are ancestors of blood)
• A benevolent ghost that wanders your neighborhood
• A small and long-forgotten god of the space your
human self inhabits
• The spirit of the tree outside your window, or your
computer
• Reflected starlight
• A guardian angel
• Some other form that you feel connected to

Take a minute or two to determine your ethereal

attendant spirit form. Once you feel connected to this
form, write a few sentences answering the following
questions from the perspective of this attendant spirit, to
help you embody this form before you move onto the
other journaling prompts:

• Who are you? Do you have a name? How would you

describe yourself?
• How did you come to observe this human?
• What is your favorite thing about this human?
• You believe that humans can do just about anything they
put their will to. What is something this human is
particularly good at?

Once you feel like you are able to step into character as the
attendant spirit, you are ready to observe your human in
their first situation.

Part 2: Journaling Prompts

The journaling prompts for this game are generated
randomly by pulling a pair of tarot cards—one from the
minor arcana, which will determine the situation faced by
your human self, and one form the major arcana, which
will offer a question that you can gently ask about the
situation as the attendant spirit. As you use these prompts
as a starting point, consider: How would your human self
naturally approach the situation, and what wisdom and
encouragement can you offer that human self as an
attendant spirit?

To begin, shuffle the minor arcana from your tarot deck,

and draw a card. This is the situation that you are
observing as an attendant spirit. How does the human you
are observing approach this situation? Write as much as
you'd like to set the scene.

Next, shuffle the major arcana from your tarot deck, and
draw a card. This is a question you will ask the human you
are observing as they face this situation. How can this
question reframe the situation? What additional ideas or
wisdom does it inspire you to share with the human you're
observing? Write as much as you'd like about how you help
to gently encourage your human self through this situation
as their attendant spirit—while you cannot directly
intervene in the material world, you can always help nudge
them, acting as the voice of their intuition, gut instinct, or
intellect.

Repeat this process for as many rounds of prompts as you'd

like. You can either set aside the drawn cards, or reshuffle
them into the deck—you're unlikely to pull the same
combination of situation and question twice, but facing the
same situation with a new question or applying an old
question to a new situation can offer additional
perspectives to explore.
 Minor Arcana: Swords
Ace They need to communicate an idea.
Two They need to make a difficult choice.
Three They feel betrayed.
Four They have an opportunity to rest.
Five They were wrong.
Six They are on a journey.
Seven They need to be cunning.
Eight They feel trapped.
Nine They feel anxious.
Ten They feel like they've hit rock bottom.
Page They encounter a new idea.
Knight They want to defend an idea.
King They need to remain level-headed.
Queen They have learned from their mistakes.
 Minor Arcana: Wands
Ace They need to find inspiration.
Two They need to choose a direction.
Three They need to envision their future.
Four They have something to celebrate.
Five They are involved in an unnecessary conflict.
Six They have achieved something great.
Seven They need to be brave.
Eight They need to move.
Nine They need to wait.
Ten They are carrying a lot.
Page They have a chance to play.
Knight They want to charge ahead.
King They need to lead.
Queen They are inspired.
 Minor Arcana: Cups
Ace They need to express an emotion.
Two They are in a relationship.
Three They are part of a community.
Four They feel apathetic.
Five They are grieving.
Six They need to connect with their inner child.
Seven They need to imagine possibilities.
Eight They need to walk away.
Nine They are content.
Ten They are joyful.
Page They encounter something delightfully
unexpected.
Knight They want to dream.
King They need to hold their boundaries.
Queen They know who they are.
 Minor Arcana: Pentacles
Ace They need to create something tangible.
Two They are juggling many things.
Three They create a space of sanctuary.
Four They feel scarcity.
Five They feel broken.
Six They give generously.
Seven They need to be patient.
Eight They are honing a skill.
Nine They are home.
Ten They are leaving a legacy.
Page They have a chance to learn.
Knight They want stability.
King They need to remember their resources.
Queen They are grounded.
 Major Arcana
0 The Fool What can they begin?
1 The Magician What can they manifest?
2 The High Priestess What do they know?
3 The Empress What can they nurture?
4 The Emperor What can they control?
5 The Hierophant What do they believe?
6 The Lovers Who can they lean on?
7 The Chariot Where are they going?
8 Strength Where do they have power?
9 The Hermit What lights their way?
10 The Wheel of Fortune What could change?
 Major Arcana
11 Justice What is fair?
12 The Hanged One What's another way to look at
this?
13 Death What needs to end?
14 Temperance What can be balanced or
transformed?
15 The Devil What is controlling them?
16 The Tower What's the worst thing that
could happen?
17 The Star What gives them hope?
18 The Moon What are they afraid of?
19 The Sun What energizes them?
20 Judgement What can they choose?
21 The World What if it all works out?
Part 3: Reflection and Integration
When you are ready to bring the game to a close, spend a
couple of minutes reflecting on what you have learned
about your human self from your time embodying this
attendant spirit. What stood out to you? Is there anything
you would like to carry forward into your everyday life? Is
there one small change this experience might inspire? Keep
in mind that this is not about success or failure, but
experimenting, gathering information, and being open to
the potential for growth.

When you have finished your reflection time, take a

moment to thank the attendant spirit you have been
embodying for their wisdom and encouragement, knowing
you can come back to them at any time. Blow out the
candle, extinguish the incense, or mark the end of the time
in some other way. Get up slowly and stretch, shake out
your body, take a drink of water, and arrive back in your
present moment.

Appendix: Alternative Rules

If you find you are struggling with the idea of embodying
an entity that views your human self with compassion, you
can work up to this by starting out embodying an attendant
spirit for someone you care about.

This also opens up some options for making this into a

multiplayer experience. If you want to play with friends,
you can take turns playing as each other's attendant spirits.
Our friends sometimes see strengths in us that we don't see
in ourselves.

If you do not have access to a tarot deck, you can

alternately use the following materials:

• a d20 (that is, a 20-sided die)

• two d6 (that is, a pair of 6-sided dice)
• a coin
• a standard deck of playing cards

To select your situation prompt, shuffle the standard

playing card deck, and pull a card. Most of the cards will
correspond to one of the cards on the Minor Arcana tables:
Swords are Spades, Wands are Clubs, Cups are Hearts, and
Pentacles are Diamonds. If the card is a Jack, flip the coin.
If it comes up Heads, use the prompt for the Page of that
suit; if Tails, use the prompt for Knight for that suit.

To select your question prompt, first roll the 2d6. If you roll
two 1s, use the prompt for 0 The Fool. If you roll two 6s,
use the prompt for 21 The World. For any other roll, follow
up by rolling the d20, and use the prompt for the
numbered card (as found on the Major Arcana tables) that
corresponds to the number on the die.