COLLEGE OF EDUCATION

NAME OF THE GENERAL EDUCATION

PROGRAM
COURSE TITLE The Family COURSE CODE EU112
PREREQUISITE/ CO- None COURSE UNIT 2 units
REQUISITE
COURSE OUTCOME CO2: Analyze different real-life situations in creating sound decision making on
oneself, others, and his/her responsibility towards nation building.
MODULE 3 Love Languages and ABCDE’s of Relationship: The Stages of Affection
LESSON LEARNING After successful completion of this module, you should have the ability to:
OUTCOME/S LO 2.1: Increased understanding about friendship, infatuation, romance, sex,
sexuality, and love through various perspectives.
TOPICS a. Gary Chapman’s Love Languages
b. George Levine’s ABCDE’s of Relationship and Filipino Values
orientation on Love, Courtship, Sex, and Marriage
WEEK / INCLUSIVE 6-7
DATE Feb.19-March 1, 2024
MODALITY F2F, Asynchronous(NEO)

Welcome to this enlightening module that delves into the intricacies of relationships,
guided by the profound insights of George Levine's ABCDE's of Relationship and the rich
tapestry of Filipino values orientation on Love, Courtship, Sex, and Marriage. In the journey
ahead, we will explore the fundamental aspects that shape and define human connections,
drawing from Levine's comprehensive framework and the unique cultural perspective embedded
in Filipino values.
Prepare to unravel the complexities of love, courtship, sex, and marriage as we navigate
through a landscape where psychology meets cultural dynamics, providing a holistic
understanding of the dynamics that govern intimate relationships.

▪ LESSON PROPER

“Love languages are a great tool to supplement the health of a relationship.”

A past study, for example, found that couples who followed Chapman’s principles tended to
establish “relational maintenance” behaviors, such as openly communicating their feelings, sharing
tasks and responsibilities, and maintaining mutual friendships, all of which have been linked to
healthier relationships. On the other hand, there’s not a lot of high-quality evidence-based research
to support the use of love languages in a relationship. Anecdotally, though, some people have found
it boosts relationship health and satisfaction.

The term love language refers to the way that a person prefers to express love to—and receive it
from—a partner. The term is now often used generally to refer to many different methods of
expressing love, but the concept and term was introduced by author and counselor Dr. Gary
Chapman, who proposed five specific love languages.

Chapman suggests that to discover another person's love language, one must observe the way
they express love to others and analyze what they complain about most often and what they request
from their significant other most often. He theorizes that people tend to naturally give love in the
way that they prefer to receive love, and better communication between couples can be
accomplished when one can demonstrate caring to the other person in the love language the
recipient understands. According to Chapman’s relationship theory, everyone tends to prefer a
particular love language more than others. The theory asserts that relationships will be more
successful if each person understands and focuses on the love language that their partner prefers.
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Below are the five love languages according to Dr. Chapman.

Words of Affirmation
This love language consists of encouraging, positive words and verbal or written
acknowledgments of love and care. Think: Compliments and words of encouragement. They can be
as simple as “I love you,” or more intricate; for example, “I love you and appreciate how much you
care for the people in your life,” or “I am grateful for you.”

Acts of Service
If actions speak louder than words is your mantra, your love language may be acts of
service. For those with this love language, a helping hand makes them feel cared for, and doing
something to lighten their load will go a long way. Try unloading the dishwasher, filling their gas
tank, scheduling an appointment, or offering to pick up dinner on the way home.

Receiving Gifts
It’s the thought that counts, not the price of the gift. People with this love language
appreciate receiving a visual symbol of their partner’s affection—especially one that’s been
carefully selected by the giver. Gifting your partner their favorite author’s new book or framing the
receipt from your first date are both meaningful ideas for those with this love language.

Quality Time
With this love language, what you long for most is your partner’s undivided attention.
Someone whose love language is quality time feels most appreciated when others are present,
attentive, and mindful. That means making your partner feel like they’re a priority by turning the
phone off, not engaging in distractions, making eye contact, sitting close and using active listening
skills to engage with your partner, she explains.

Physical Touch
Do you feel comfortable and secure when you’re physically connected to your partner? If
so, physical touch might be your primary love language. Members of this group read body language
very closely and need the intimacy of touch to feel affirmed and bonded, she explains. Actions
include making an active effort to cuddle, hold hands, kiss, and hug regularly.

George Levinger’s ABCDE’s of Relationship: The Stages of Affection

Each of us interacts with love uniquely. Some may only experience a crush, while others
develop deeper feelings, and a fortunate few achieve a lifetime commitment. There are also those
who experience a tumultuous journey, undergoing numerous cycles of love and heartbreak before
discovering their perfect match.

Regardless, clinical social psychologist George Levinger identified five stages common to
most romantic relationships. He labeled them using the first five letters of the English alphabet
(ABCDE): Attraction, Buildup, Continuation, Deterioration, and Ending.

Stage 1: ACQUAINTANCE
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All relationships commence with an interaction between two individuals. If they find
significant compatibility after an encounter (or a few), they begin to attract each other.
This mutual pull could be due to physical appearance - if one (or both) finds the other’s
physical traits appealing and their “type.” Sometimes, even sexual attraction kicks in at this stage.
Additionally, other elements can impact the couple’s chemistry at this stage. Past
relationship experiences, for example, could help establish a strong first impression or assist in
quickly identifying the “green flags” (or the red flags) in the other person right from the get-go.

Stage 2: BUILD UP
The linchpin of this stage is “trust.” As feelings deepen, individuals grow to trust and
become closer to each other, starting to rely on one another to some degree. They uncover more
about each other’s lives, and both parties feel comfortable discussing their other relationships
(family, friends).
To move from the attraction to the buildup stage, the sense of compatibility needs to
transcend physical and psychological aspects. In other words, they need to find common ground in
hobbies, personal values, and life ambitions.
Both individuals typically feel more at ease expressing their emotions during this stage,
which can lead to occasional disagreements. However, this is entirely normal. The crucial part is
learning how to communicate openly, treat each other with respect, and foster mutual
understanding.

Stage 3: CONTINUATION
This stage is encapsulated by the idea of “sharing a home.” After navigating disagreements
in stage 2, the couple is ready to make a long-term commitment. This commitment might manifest
as marriage, cohabitation, or starting a family - signals that both parties are prepared for long-term
togetherness.
In the continuation stage, their affection may continue to evolve and deepen. However, there
will be extended periods of stability with little change. In certain instances, this stability could
become stagnation, causing the couple to feel bored if they don’t find something new in the
relationship.

Stage 4: DETERIORATION
As time goes by, love can slide into decline when the sense of closeness between two people
decreases. This may occur if a relationship loses equilibrium, for instance, when one person
assumes all household chores, leaving the other free of shared responsibility. Here, one person ends
up constantly giving while the other only takes.
Deterioration can also kick in when issues surface that become evident only when the pair
start living together. Buying a house, childcare expenses, and disputes with in-laws serve as typical
examples. Numerous couples hit this stage and stick together either out of commitment or the
unwillingness to abandon a relationship into which they’ve poured significant time and emotional
investment.
Even in thriving relationships where partners remain together, they will still encounter
phases of deterioration. However, their problems aren’t severe, or they discover ways to surmount
them and sustain the relationship.

Stage 5: ENDING
This transpires when the couple can’t resolve the dilemmas that cropped up in stages 3 and
4. It’s crucial to remember that not every negative incident results in a split. They might part ways
when the intimate spark or passion dwindles or when the bonds of commitment that held them
together loosen.
Sometimes, couples separate due to uncontrollable factors such as differing religions,
marriage laws (if they belong to different countries or religions), or hereditary health issues that
make having children impossible.
Another reminder is that all relationships eventually come to an end. For thriving
relationships, this termination happens when one partner passes away.
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▪ ACTIVITY/ EXERCISE/ ASSIGNMENT

1. Answer the online quiz via lms

2. Take the online quiz on Love Language:
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language
Print screen the result and upload in the assigned neolms dropbox.

▪ SUPPLEMENTARY LEARNING MATERIALS:

▪ Dr. Gary Chapman on The Five Love Languages

Episode 6 - Levinger's Stage Theory of Relationships

▪ REFERENCES

Levinger, G. (1980). Toward the analysis of close relationships. Journal of Experimental Social
Psychology, 16, 510-544. For excellent coverage of Levinger’s theory, see: Rathus, S. A., Nevid, J.
S., & Fichner-Rathus, L. (1997). Human sexuality: In a world of diversity. Boston: Allyn & Bacon,
pp. 208-215,

Levy, D. (1995, May 30). Families declining worldwide. USA Today, p. 1D.; and National Center
for Health Statistics, 1996. Births, marriages, divorces, and death for 1995. Monthly Vital Statistics

Wadsworth, D. (2019). The Five Love Languages. Retrieved from DawnWadsworth/the-5-love-

languages-152795291?next_slideshow=true
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https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/what-are-the-five-love-languages/#:~:text=Dr.,languages%20to
%20strengthen%20your%20bond.

https://vietcetera.com/en/the-abc-of-love-stages-of-affection

PREPARED BY: REVIEWED/VALIDATED BY: APPROVED BY: DATE OF

EFFECTIVITY:
Razelle V. Lacson Josephine L. Belen Divinia J. Glifonea Ed D
Instructor Department Chair Dean 15 January 2024
Date: 15 January 2024 Date: 15 January 2024 Date: 15 January 2024

Disclaimer: Not all texts in this module are original of the writer. Some of them are excerpts from the references that are mentioned in this module.