Dearly & Homeless Horace (Dearly and

The Departed Book 4) MM L.A. Kaye

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Dearly & Homeless Horace
DEARLY AND THE DEPARTED
BOOK FOUR

L.A. KAYE
 Contents

Author’s Note to Readers

Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Epilogue
Also by
About the Author
This book is an original work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and events are either the product of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any
resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright Pending ©2024 (Sam E. Kraemer Writing as) L.A. Kaye

Cover Designer and Formatter: KSL Designs
Editor: Abbie Nicole
Proofreader: Mildred Jordan, I Love Books Proofreading
Published by Kaye Klub Publishing

These characters are the author’s original creations, and the events herein are the author’s sole property. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced,
scanned, or distributed in any form, printed or electronic, without the express permission of the author. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted
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 Author’s Note to Readers

Welcome back to the world of Keir Dearly and his departed! The main characters have come a long way since book one, and
they are eager to tell their story and introduce you to a few new friends.
Many thanks to Abbie Nicole, my editor, and Mildred, my proofreader, for their wonderful work on this story. They’ve
helped make the reading experience much more enjoyable, trust me!
To my bestie—thank you for all your hard work and encouragement. I’d be lost without you!
To my family, thank you so much for all your support and listening ears. You’ve definitely seen me at my worst on occasion,
but you love me anyway. That means the world to me.
I truly hope you enjoy reading about the mortician and his friends, along with all the guests who find themselves on his
table!
--L.A. Kaye
 Summary

When the family business is death, how does one help a homeless vet find the daughter he lost to leave her the only thing
he has to give?
Keir Dearly, the sole proprietor of Dearly & Son Funeral Home, is riding a high like no other. He and Dashiell Clegg have
taken another step in their relationship, and life is as close to perfect as it can get. That is until Keir wakes one morning in a
strange house. Where is he, and who are all the people who seem to know him—especially his pregnant wife? What’s
happened to the life he can’t remember?
When a homeless Army vet lands on the slab, the man’s spirit is confused and unaccompanied, giving the impression that
things are heating up in Heaven and Hell. The vet asks only one thing: find his daughter to give her the very few physical assets
the man has, including a Bronze Star. With Keir MIA, Dash is tasked with trying to find the girl, though Horace has no
information to aid the search.
As Dash’s gifts continue to develop in preparation for the upheaval of life on the human plane, he’s in no position to fight
the onslaught of evil without his Gatekeeper. No one knows when it will happen, but they’ve been assured it will be epic. And
now, there’s a vampire?
 Prologue
KEIR

“DEARLY & S ON F UNERAL HOME. KEIR DEARLY SPEAKING .”

“Hey, man. It’s me, Jonas. The dedication today for those victims was beautiful. Joachim asked me to call you based on
what we saw in your garden.”
Dr. Joachim Arroyo, the Sacramento County coroner, had arrived at the memorial service for Nancy Plum and the young
women she was wrongfully accused of killing just as Father Tran had finished his invocation. It’d been beautiful, and I was
grateful we’d had the memorial in the backyard of Dearly & Son Funeral Home.
“Thanks, Jonas. What can I do for you?”
I could hear pages flipping in the background before Jonas spoke. “We have an Army vet found in Southside Park on a
bench, DOA. The police have identified him as Horace Green. He’s fifty-five, and he has no living family that we can find.”
It was a sad thing to hear. To have no family was heartbreaking.
“He was living on the streets. Do you think you’d have time to put together a service for him? I’ve already contacted the
American Legion in Reardon, and they said they’d be more than happy to provide an honor guard for the visitation. Joachim
determined Mr. Green died from pneumonia, probably because he was sleeping in the park.”
Jonas Schiff was Dr. Arroyo’s assistant and a friend of ours. Unbeknownst to Joachim, Jonas was also his guardian angel.
“Do you know his rank when he was discharged? There might be some benefits for him, right?”
Before Mom had retired, we’d worked with the various military branches when it was time to bury service men and
women. I was familiar with some of the benefits available, but I wasn’t an expert by any means. Mom, however, was, but she
was busy planning a wedding.
Jonas hummed as he flipped pages. “Oh, uh, he was a sergeant during Desert Storm. Says here in the records the VA sent
over that he was a Bronze Star recipient. That might buy him a spot in Sacramento Valley National Cemetery.”
Jonas had a point. It would be great not to have to beg cemeteries for an open spot for a homeless man.
“Okay. I haven’t done a military funeral since Mom retired, so I’ll see if I can get her to stick around for a few days to help
me out. When will he be ready for transport?”
“I can bring him over when you’re ready for him. I’m assuming it’ll take a few days to arrange things, so we’ll keep him at
the morgue. You want me to coordinate with the VFW?”
It was nice for Jonas to offer, but I knew he was just as busy as the rest of us, what with the impending doom for humanity
and all the shit coming at us.
“Thanks a lot, but I’ll have Amelie call you tomorrow. She can deal with the VFW if you give her the contact information.
I’m glad you called us.”
“Hey, the Veteran’s Administration might help cover the costs for the funeral. You might want to have Amelie research that
too, unless Miss Lucy knows.” Jonas was probably right.
“Thanks, Jonas. I’ll talk to Mom about it. Dash or I will be in touch about poker soon.”
Of course I was down for playing poker again. The last time we’d played, I’d won two hundred bucks and a fiancé. I was
more than ready to play again.
“Looking forward to it. Everything seems to be going along well, with Scotty gone. What are you going to do about the
vampire? Adonis?”
“Say what now?”
 Chapter

One
KEIR

I STOOD AT THE WINDOW IN MY OFFICE, STARING OUTSIDE AS ADONIS S TEWARD —ADON FOR SHORT — SAT IN THE GARDEN . HE
was painting the fall flowers as he’d been doing for the last few weeks since he’d arrived at Dearly & Son. Adonis wasn’t
rude. He rarely spoke to us, but he greeted us and answered questions when asked.
Jonas Schiff had suggested Adonis was a vampire, and the idea of it made me want to laugh. Vampires didn’t exist, did
they? Though Lilith had mentioned he was her son, and we knew she was a blood drinker…
Most beings I’d encountered weren’t supposed to exist, but I’d seen, talked, and fought with those I couldn’t fathom. Could
I say otherworldly beings weren’t real? Not at all. But vampires were a product of Hollywood, weren’t they?
Adonis turned toward me and waved. He stood from his easel and headed toward the funeral home, pointing toward the
back door. I nodded and headed into the common area to meet him.
“Is there anything you need?” Why was I asking him if he needed anything? He’s supposed to be working for me.
Adonis chuckled. “I’m fine, Keir. I realize I’m not exactly the guardian you’re used to having, but until someone else can be
assigned, I’ll happily take the post. Anything I need to know? Where’s Dash?”
“He’s at the garage, but he’ll be back soon. Do you drink coffee?”
I knew fuck-all about a vampire’s wants or needs. When Jonas brought it up, I thought he was joking, but it made more
sense to me the longer I considered the idea.
“I do. You seem to have something on your mind. What would you like to discuss?”
I filled two of the new mugs Amelie had bought for the hospitality room, and I handed one to Adonis. I watched him as he
held the mug under his nose and inhaled deeply.
“So, you’re a vampire? Do you drink blood?”
Adonis offered a smirk. “I do when I’m given the opportunity. Are you offering?”
I recoiled, which brought a loud laugh from Adon. He did seem like a decent fellow. “No, I’m not. Sorry. Why are you here
instead of out hunt— I mean, shouldn’t you be looking for your next meal?” It sounded like a bad joke.
“Don’t worry about my next meal. I’ll manage.”
I sat at the desk and pointed to the chair across for him to join me. “What do you do with the bodies?”
“Keir, you think…? I don’t kill anyone. Unlike some of my brothers, I can drink without it ending in death.”
“Brothers? You have brothers? How many sons did Lilith have?”
His mother’s willingness to side with us was surprising but much appreciated. I certainly didn’t want to do anything to piss
off the demons or their families. We had no idea what was heading our way, so preparing for all Hell to break loose was the
smart option, and as humans, there was only so much we could do. We needed as many demons fighting with us as we could
convince.
“Mother is complex. She can be anything she wants, and right now, she chooses to be… Well, I’m not sure what she’s
choosing to be, but if she said she’ll fight with you against Nyx, she means it. She sticks to her word, unlike a lot of demons.”
I swallowed. “She has how many sons?” He hadn’t answered my question, and I was fucking worried.
“I really couldn’t tell you. We’re not a family like you define in the human realm. You have constraints that we don’t. Lilith
isn’t a traditional human mother, but I won’t fault her. She’s been there when I’ve needed her.”
“Okay, then. I have a guest coming later today. He’s a war vet who ended up homeless and died in a park. I want to give
him a respectful sendoff. Will you be able to help me?”
Adon sipped his coffee and then placed the mug on the desk. “Tell me what you need, Keir. I’m more than happy to help in
any way I can.”
I was glad to hear it. I opened the desk drawer to pull out a pad when the bell at the receiving bay buzzed. The camera app
on my phone showed it was Jonas. “Our guest is here. Do you mind going to let Jonas in?”
Adon stood and bowed. “Will Lake be here today?”
 Lake Gryner was my new apprentice. She was an aspiring makeup artist Dash had met and taken under his wing. Her
daughter, Jamie, was recovering from a brain tumor, and she was an adorable girl, happy and so loving.
Adonis had taken a shine to them, which was a bit worrisome because how would that work out? A vampire, a sex worker,
and a little girl who was in remission from a malignant brain tumor didn’t sound like a good mix for friendship, but Adon was
oddly protective. Odd pairings were becoming a new thing in my world.
“Not today. Why? What’s up with the two of you?” I didn’t sound too suspicious, did I?
“I was just curious. I’ll be in the mortuary.” Adonis left me within a blink of an eye. I was pretty sure I’d never get used to
that.
I had already dressed to work in the mortuary in anticipation of Horace Green’s arrival. I grabbed the folder Amelie had
assembled for me and refilled my coffee cup before heading downstairs.
When I arrived, Adon was physically carrying the deceased inside. “Your cart has a jammed wheel, but I’ll fix it. Where
do you want him?”
I pointed to the stainless table and began assembling everything I’d need for Mr. Green’s embalming. Jonas came into the
embalming room with an envelope in his hand. “Good morning, Gatekeeper. How’s it hangin’?”
Adon and I laughed. “To the right, my friend. Were you able to find out anything more about Mr. Green?”
I took the envelope he offered and opened the clasp. Reaching inside, I pulled out the contents, finding a wallet, a set of
keys, and a faded picture of a little girl with pigtails and two missing front teeth.
“Cute kid. Any idea who she is?”
“Nope. Those were the things he had on his person when he was found. The rest of his belongings are in police custody. I
can reach out if you’d like. See if there’s anything that might lend more clues to any family he had. Obviously, that little girl
meant something to him.”
Nodding, I returned the contents to the envelope and placed it on the desk before I unzipped the body bag. “Was he a mess
to clean up?”
If someone didn’t have a house, it was difficult for them to maintain even basic hygiene. That made for some smelly work
for Joachim. As expected, Mr. Green was cleaned up nicely.
“Not too bad. As Joachim guessed when he was brought in, Mr. Green died from pneumonia. He had a prescription for
tetracycline in one of his pockets, but only two of the pills were missing. Joachim’s following up with the pharmacy for the
prescribing doctor’s information. Uh, Amelie said she would follow up with the Army.”
Jonas gawked around the mortuary as though he was looking for something—or someone. It was no guess who.
“He’s not here yet. Shouldn’t you already know that?” I was referring to Vale, of course. Those two had been dancing
around each other since they’d met.
“He, uh…? We had a bit of a disagreement. He’s not talking to me right now.”
“What did you do?” Adon stepped closer, his head tilted as if he knew something Jonas wasn’t saying.
“All I said was the server at the restaurant had a nice ass. Valentino got up from the booth, walked out, and took a cab
home. I never said I wanted to do anything with the guy. I notice attractive people. Everyone does.”
Was he for real? With a guy like Vale, who was vain and tied his worth as a person to looking his very best, I knew it had
been the wrong thing to say.
“Everyone doesn’t say it aloud. You know he’s secretly insecure.” Adon stared at Jonas and shook his head, and I couldn’t
hide my smirk at the vampire’s astute observation.
“Have you told Vale what you are?” I wasn’t sure how long the otherworldly beings I knew thought they could remain
undetected. Quinn still didn’t know about Lilith, as far as I’d been told. I was sure Dash would have mentioned it if Quinn had
confided in him.
Jonas flinched like I’d slapped him. “Scotty told you to ask that didn’t he?”
Scott had left us to be with Jay Frick, and I had no idea what they were doing or if I’d ever see him again. I missed my
friends. I only wanted the best for Scott and Jay. I just wished it didn’t include them having to not visit us.
“I haven’t seen or heard from Scotty since he got his wings and left to be with Jay. I’m not judging, just making an
observation.”
“Yeah, well, it sounds like you were put up to that. I can’t tell Vale anything if he won’t talk to me.” Jonas appeared to be
upset, and I was a little relieved. I thought maybe he was only into Vale for physical satisfaction.
“I’ll try to get him to call you. I urge you to learn from this mistake. We never know what a hot-button issue for others might
be.” But he really should have known that talking about another guy’s ass…ets…in front of Vale would lead to a hissy fit.
Jonas nodded before he walked toward the door to leave. “I’m going to tell him about myself very soon, I promise.”
That would lead to a lot of questions for me. How the hell would I handle them?
 Chapter

Two
DASH

I RANG THE DOORBELL AT MY OLD APARTMENT OVER CLEGG CYCLES . LILITH HAD REACHED OUT TO ME TO SAY SHE WAS PLANNING
to explain her special situation to Quinn, and she wanted me to be available if Quinn wanted to talk.
Of course, I was going to be there for my best friend. I’d never let Quinn try to work his way through what she would tell
him alone. It was a lot of information to get at one time.
Lilith opened the door, her makeup smeared from tear tracks rolling down her face. “Shit. You told him. Where is he?”
“I didn’t get beyond telling him we needed to talk about us. He took it the wrong way and left. I wanted to follow him, but I
was afraid it would make things worse.” She reached into the pocket of her dress and pulled out a handkerchief to dry her eyes.
“Okay. Let me go look for him. How long ago did he leave?”
“Maybe five minutes. He took my car because I was parked behind him, and my keys were on the table. He came up with
the crazy idea that Adonis was my former lover because he found some texts between us on my phone. I couldn’t tell him I’m
his mother. I just said, ‘I’m older than I look.’”
That was an understatement on her part. She was from the beginning of time.
“What did he say to that? What pissed him off so much that he left?” Obviously, there was something specific she’d said
that exploded a bomb in Quinn’s head.
“He asked me to marry him, and I said there were too many things we needed to discuss before we got to that point. I told
him I thought we had a lot of differences between us that we needed to hash out. He said, ‘It’s the money thing, isn’t it? I don’t
make enough money for you.’ Then he stormed out. You know money has nothing to do with this, right?”
I snorted. “Considering you can have as much money as you’d ever need? I know this isn’t about a financial difference, but
Quinn doesn’t. Let me go find him. I’ll try to talk to him. Do I have your permission to tell him everything?” Maybe he’d listen
to me without running away...
She exhaled. “You’ll have to tell him about yourself. Are you ready to do that?”
“Probably, but maybe not everything at once. I’ll start with you first, okay?”
Lilith reached into her pocket and pulled out a ring. It looked ancient, with a red stone that seemed to have yellow flames
dancing inside. She handed it to me. “If you can get him to put this on, it might give him a better explanation about who and
what I am.”
I took the ring and put it in my jacket pocket. “I’ll do my best to get him back here to talk to you. I don’t know if I can do
any good, but I’ll try. You’ll be okay, yeah?”
Lilith nodded, so I took off. By the time I got to the SUV, I’d figured out where he’d probably gone, so I headed in that
direction. The Grease Monkey Bar ’N Grill was in Quinn’s old neighborhood in Oak Park.
The neighborhood was pretty rough, which was one of the reasons he’d moved away in the first place. The other was to
help his sister financially. Without having to pay me rent, it was working out for him.
I parked on the street, avoiding the parking lot behind the dive bar. I saw Lilith’s fancy Alfa Romeo parked at a meter just a
few spaces from mine. At least Quinn hadn’t completely lost his mind and put it behind the bar where he couldn’t see it.
I pulled my sunglasses from the top of my head and went to the door, hitting the key fob twice to be sure I locked the SUV. I
reached for the door handle and stopped. I almost slid Lilith’s ring onto my finger to understand how it worked before I gave it
to Quinn, but I thought better. It was private between Quinn and his girl, so I shoved it back into my pocket and resisted the
temptation.
Just as I suspected, Quinn sat on a battered stool at the far end of the bar. There was a young woman behind it, drying
glasses as he tried to talk her up like the idiot I knew him to be. The dude had no game whatsoever.
I sat on the stool next to him. “Draft, please.”
The young woman looked relieved and went to work getting my beer and a fresh bowl of peanuts. Hell, it was ten in the
morning, so beer and peanuts were as good as anything else for a heart-to-heart.
 “What do you want, Dash? How’d ya find me?”
Our eyes met in the mirror behind the bar. “You’re not hard to find, Quinn. I talked to your girl. She asked me to look for
you. Why don’t you go back home and talk to her?”
“I don’t need to hear her say she’s too good to marry a mechanic. Hell, I’ve asked her to move in about ten times, and she
won’t. She leaves when I fall asleep and returns just before I wake up. I got one of them nanny cam things because I had the
feeling she wasn’t stayin’ the night. I couldn’t wake up to catch her, but I’ve got the evidence right here.”
He unlocked his phone and pulled up an app, handing it to me. The time stamp was from the previous night, and the video
showed Lilith sneaking out of his place. “Maybe she wanted to run home and freshen up? I’ve heard that some women get up
before their boyfriends and brush their teeth and put on makeup. Maybe she’s worried that if you see her without it, you won’t
want to be with her.”
“I’ve seen her without makeup, man. She’s still beautiful. I don’t give a damn about that shit. Where does she go? Why
won’t she move in?”
My heart broke for my friend because he was so upset. Quinn had been unlucky in love for years. Somehow, women knew
he was an easy touch and took advantage of him. From what I could tell, Lilith was the first woman who hadn’t. And she was a
demon. If anyone would take advantage of a kind guy like Quinn, it would be her.
“What the fuck scared you off? What made you walk out on Lily?”
Before he could answer, the door opened, and Keir walked in with a guy I didn’t know. I watched as they sat at a table in
the corner, and I couldn’t breathe. The guy with him was handsome, but Keir was my fiancé. Who the fuck was he with, and
why?
Quinn touched my hand. “Who’s that? Why’s your face all screwed up like that?”
I stared at him. “Can’t you see that one of them is Keir?”
Quinn stared for a minute and then turned to me. “He kinda resembles Keir, but he’s not your guy. So, back to me.”
I was there for my friend, so I turned to him, but I kept my eye on the guy who looked like Keir in my peripheral. “Yes, back
to you. What the hell, Quinn?”
“She’s better than me, Dash.”
I chuckled. “No, she’s fucking not. Lily wouldn’t be with you if she didn’t believe you were worth her effort. Ask her why
she leaves your place, man. Don’t make up shit in your head. You’ll always be wrong.”
I pulled the ring out of my pocket and handed it to him. “There’s shit out there that you won’t understand at first. Start here.”
I pointed to the ring. “Put it on.”
When I looked over my shoulder where Keir’s almost twin had been sitting with that random guy, I saw they’d left. I had no
fucking idea who the guy was or why he looked so much like my fiancé, but I was damn well going to find out.
Quinn picked up the ring. “What the fuck is this?”
I took a sip of my beer and grabbed a fist full of peanuts, dumping them into my mouth. The salty nuts mixed well with the
beer. I hadn’t decided to go day-drinking with my best friend, but it was shaping up to be a good idea.
Quinn slid the ring onto his right index finger, which was weird. The ring hadn’t looked that big to me when Lilith had
handed it off.
When his eyes glazed over, I figured he was seeing whatever Lilith wanted him to know about her existence, so I scrolled
through my phone to see if my future husband had texted that he was going out to meet someone.
The guy Quinn swore wasn’t Keir looked a little too much like the love of my life for me to be comfortable seeing him with
another guy. When I didn’t have a message from him, I sent one of my own.
How’s your morning? You out and about? ILY

I finished my beer and ordered another, glancing at Quinn, whose eyes were still glazed over. I grabbed his phone and put it
in front of him as I tilted his head as though he were looking at the screen.
When the bartender glanced at me and pointed to him, I nodded for him to get another beer too. I wasn’t sure how long it
was going to take for Lilith’s message to get through to him, but I would be the ultimate best friend and look out for him while
he took in whatever that ring was telling him.
He’d been that guy for me when I’d lost Viking and Miss Siobhan. It was finally my turn to return the favor.

“YOU OKAY, MAN ?”

I drove us back to the garage. Quinn was too fucked up to drive, so I gave a homeless guy a hundred bucks to watch Lilith’s
car until I could get Simp and Fish to pick it up. It was probably best if they weren’t around while Quinn and Lilith talked.
“I’m kinda stunned. You believe that shit is real?”
I wasn’t about to answer him until I knew what he meant. “What shit?”
Quinn released a semi-hysterical laugh. “Demons. Hell. Blood drinkers. She’s a fucking jokester.”
I lowered my glasses to see his aura had an anxious vibe. “You think she’s joking?” I had to traverse this road as calmly as
possible or he’d flip out on me, and I didn’t want that.
“How about we step back for a minute. How’d you find out about that shit?” I hoped to fuck it dawned on him after I said it.
“That…that ring you gave me.”
“Quinn, dude, I just gave you a ring Lilith wanted you to have. I’m not sure what you’re talking about with all that other
bullshit.” I was a prick to lie to him, but I needed him to speak up about what he’d learned.
“She claims to be a demon from Hell. She says she’s the mistress of Satan and, get this shit, that old guy who started
working for Keir—Adon—is her son. That shit’s fucked up, Dash.”
I made the right onto the street where the garage was located, pulling into the parking lot across the street and turning off the
engine on my SUV. “Quinn, dude, think about it. How do you know these things? How’d she tell you because you walked out on
her before she could say anything to you about that shit.”
Quinn glanced at the ring and tried to pull it off. When it wouldn’t slide down his finger, he froze. “I’d bet she’s not done
telling you whatever she wants you to know. I’ll stick around if you want until you know it all, but seriously, there’s shit going
on in the universe I’d have never guessed.”
I stepped out of the SUV and walked toward the garage. Simp, Fish, and Georgia stood in Quinn’s bay staring at my
vehicle.
“What are you guys doin’? Get back to work. He’s fine.”
Lillith stood from behind a Harley Street 750. She wore a pair of Quinn’s denim coveralls, and her auburn hair was
braided down her back. “Is he?” She snapped her fingers, and everything stopped.
“What’re you doin’?” The beginner Harley was without tires, but two new ones were leaning against the wall.
“He was supposed to change the tires and tighten the brakes. I don’t want him to get behind.” She wiped her fingers with a
grease rag before shoving it into her back pocket.
I chuckled. “You know how to fix bikes?”
Lilith smirked. “Oh, Dashiell, I know whatever I need to know. Now, how’s my guy? He hasn’t run screaming yet.”
“No, ma’am. He’s seeing the rest of whatever you had in that ring. He mentioned demons, Hell, Adonis, and vampires. Is
there anything else to know?”
She grinned. “Just that I love him. I think it’s probably too much for him to accept, so after he gets out of the vehicle, I’ll
wipe his memories and be gone.”
Demon or not, Lilith was growing on me, and hell, I hadn’t seen my best friend so happy in a very long time. I hated the
idea of things ending like that.
“Nope. You two are great together. I have a question, though, if you’ll allow it.”
“Sure.” Lilith’s face lit up with curiosity.
“Adon is your son, and you have others, correct?” I carefully phrased my question. She could snap me like a twig.
“Yes.” It was a little guarded, which told me to continue treading lightly.
“Quinn made a comment once that you, uh, you have a di—a penis. But you also had children. I’m curious… Fuck it. I’m
nosey. How does that work?”
“If you haven’t learned that I can be anything I want or need to be, you need to take another trip to Hell with me. I present
the way I feel comfortable, based on the situation, and Quinn doesn’t hate my dick.”
Hmm. That told me a lot more about my friend than I really needed to know.
“Your car is at the bar. You want me to send someone to pick it up?”
The door to my SUV opened, and Quinn stepped out. He was staring at Lilith, and I felt as though I was in the middle of a
private moment where I had no business being.
Lilith strolled out of the garage in heels so damn high I had to wonder how she walked, and when she got to Quinn, his arms
spread in front of him, and she stepped into them. When he wrapped his arms around her, she sunk into his body.
Everyone in the garage came to life and went back to work. I had no fucking idea what it meant, but it looked like things
were going to be fine for Quinn and Lilith.
 Chapter

Three
KEIR

I CALLED VALE AND LEFT A MESSAGE FOR HIM TO CALL ME SO WE COULD TALK ABOUT J ONAS ’ S FUCK- UP . VALE’ S LOVE LIFE WAS
the last thing I wanted to involve myself in, but I’d told Jonas I’d reach out and talk to Valentino, and I’d kept my word. What
happened next between them wasn’t up to me.
I stepped over to the table where Mr. Green was resting and pulled back the sheet. “Mr. Green, I’m Keir Dearly. I’m sorry
your life came to an end, but I promise to be respectful. If there’s something you’d like to discuss, I’m here and can hear you.”
I washed Mr. Green’s body to prepare him for embalming. Joachim had done a great job with his autopsy. The stitches
were small and wouldn’t affect my tasks. Amelie had already arranged for a uniform to be delivered for his funeral and later
burial at the Sacramento Valley National Cemetery.
“Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me where I am?” I turned toward the voice to see a young man’s spirit in camouflage near the
stainless door that led to the garage.
I swallowed and pulled the sheet over Mr. Green’s head. I had a feeling it might traumatize my visitor to see himself like
that. Death was an odd thing. I learned more about its emotional impact every time I had a guest.
I took off my gloves and turned toward the spirit. “You’re in Reardon, California. This is Dearly & Son Funeral Home. Do
you know why you’re here?”
The spirit was handsome, and as I stared at it, I saw the vestiges of the man on the table. I was glad I’d covered the body so
the young man wasn’t shocked. It was the first time I’d had a spirit show up whose appearance was so different from that of
their corpse.
“I’m sorry, sir, but I don’t.”
“Would you like to sit down, Sergeant?” His fatigues showed his rank, and I’d known the man on my table was a veteran.
I pointed to the chair by my computer desk, and the spirit took a seat. I moved around the table and removed the safety
glasses I wore when working with a guest.
“Like I said, I’m Keir Dearly. This is my place of business. What brings you here, Sergeant? I’m afraid I don’t know your
name.”
The young man shot from the chair and snapped to attention. “Sergeant Horace Green, sir. I’m a member of the First Infantry
Division. I was part of Operation Desert Shield, and Operation Desert Storm.”
The Gulf War. That entire era had been a dark time for all of us and a foreshadowing of worse things to come. I was more
interested in learning why the man was homeless. What had happened to him that he was now out in the cold and without a
family that I could find?
“Thank you for your service. Do you have a family?”
Sergeant Green stared off into the distance for a moment before a soft smile overtook his face. “I do. My wife’s name is
Naomi. We have a daughter, Rachel.”
“And where do they live?” I needed the information to find his relatives. His personal possessions needed somewhere to
go.
He appeared perplexed, so I asked again. “Where might I find your family, Sergeant Green?”
Sergeant Green grinned and tilted his head. “Why would you need to find them?”
God, I hated telling my guests bad news. “What’s the last thing you remember?”
Sergeant Green closed his eyes. “I remember being with my unit. We were part of the ground offensive: Operation Desert
Sabre. We were working with the coalition forces to surround the Iraqi military in Kuwait. We were advancing near Basra
when we were ambushed. The truck I was riding in hit an IED. I suffered minor injuries and was redeployed a month later to
the border between North and South Korea.”
I went to my computer and typed in the few things he’d mentioned. The events he’d described were early in 1991. “Can you
remember what happened after that?”
 Sergeant Green closed his eyes for a moment. “Fort Riley. The day we brought Rachel home from the hospital. She was
beautiful.”
I glanced from my screen to see the spirit had aged. His hair was still short, and he was clean-shaven. He was wearing a
pair of jeans and an Army T-shirt with a big red one on it. “What’s that stand for?” I pointed to the number on his shirt.
“The Big Red One. No Mission Too Difficult. No Sacrifice Too Great. Duty First! That’s our motto. We go in where others
fear to tread.”
“Your daughter, Rachel, was born when?”
“December 2000. She was a little premature. Naomi had problems during her pregnancy that she didn’t tell me about
because I was deployed to Kosovo. It was a hotbed of activity, and there were rumblings about Ben Laden. It was closer to
Afghanistan if we were needed. I was given a week at home before I had to report back.”
“Okay, is that the last memory you have?” We were slowly getting there, or so I hoped.
The man’s outfit shifted back to camouflage. He was holding papers in his hand. “May 2003. I was deployed in Iraq.
Naomi served me with divorce papers.”
The events of his life went on for another hour. He told me of significant experiences in his Army career. After the divorce,
he got into a lot of trouble. He’d been busted in rank twice. When he returned to his rank of sergeant, he was diagnosed with a
traumatic brain injury that caused his erratic behavior.
“When did you get discharged?” I was still trying to slow-walk him to the fact he was dead.
“2008. I was PCS’d to Sacramento MEPS. Uh, permanently assigned to process incoming soldiers. My CO sent me to get
checked out by medical, and they did a brain scan. I have a brain injury, so I was honorably discharged.”
“Did you have a home then? What did you do for work after that?”
“I had nothing. No family. No friends. Once I got evicted from my apartment, I lived on the streets.” Sergeant Green now
looked like the man on my table only not as old.
“I’m sorry to tell you that you passed away on a bench in Southside Park. Couldn’t you get help from the Veterans
Administration?” I’d heard news reports that the VA was fucked up, but surely, he could have received assistance to at least
have a roof over his head.
“You gotta want the help, Mr. Dearly. I didn’t give a shit whether I lived or died. Over the years, I got hooked on heroin
and overdosed a couple of times. I’ve been going to a methadone clinic since I got out of the hospital the last time, and a month
ago, they sent me to a doctor because of my cough and shortness of breath. I had pneumonia. I guess not taking the antibiotics
was a blessing. I didn’t have the balls to kill myself.”
My heart broke for him. “Didn’t you get a disability check from the VA for your brain injury?” Surely, they had to give him
something for his years of service.
“Yeah, I had to stay clean for two days so I could open a bank account for the money to be deposited. I’ve never touched
it.” Mr. Green walked over to the table and reached for the sheet, but he couldn’t grasp it. “Who’s under that?”
How the hell did I answer that?
“A, uh, a guest. If you have money, why didn’t you rent an apartment and find a counselor?” It was rude to ask something so
private, but aside from the fact I couldn’t keep my damn nose out of his business, I had to know his reasons for sleeping on a
park bench instead of in a warm bed.
“After I left the Army, I tried to find my daughter. I even hired a private detective, but he took my money and didn’t really
search. I was heartbroken and wanted to feel better, so I started self-medicating. I started with alcohol until a guy I met showed
me something better. One thing led to another, and I really didn’t give a shit anymore.”
What he’d described happened too many times. “What happens to your personal effects? Did you have a will or even a note
to direct all that money to a friend or a charity? How’d you get money to buy drugs, Mr. Green?” My frustration was surfacing,
which wasn’t fair to my guest. I knew nothing about him, and it was unfair of me to judge him for his life choices.
“I have life insurance through the VA and my daughter’s name is on my checking account. Everything goes to her if anyone
can find her. I had no luck when I tried. Is that me?” Mr. Green pointed to the body on the table.
I’d stalled long enough. I slowly folded the sheet back for him to see his body. I reached out to touch him but quickly jerked
my hand away. No need to send him away before I had a chance to help him. He didn’t seem to have had anyone in his life to
do it for him.
I stepped back and respectfully waited until he had time to adjust—if that was possible. How would anyone feel after
seeing their lifeless corpse?
After a few minutes, he glanced my way. I stepped forward and returned the sheet to rest over him. “Are you okay, Mr.
Green?”
The spirit blew out a labored breath. “I’m a little confused, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve dealt with. What happens next?”
I decided that having his body in the embalming suite was the elephant in the room, so I unlocked the wheels on the cart and
moved it into the walk-in, happy the thing hadn’t acted up again after Adonis fixed it.
When I stepped out and closed the door, Mr. Green—or rather Sergeant Green—stood at full attention in the middle of the
room, head high and chest out. I wasn’t sure what had caused him to change his appearance, including his camo gear, but I
wouldn’t interrupt whatever internal thoughts he was processing.
After a moment, he turned toward where I was standing. “You’re a kind man, Mr. Dearly. If you can give me some
directions, I’ll leave you to your business. Where should I go now?”
“Actually, if you don’t mind sticking around for a little while, I’ll call a friend who might offer help. But Sergeant Green,
I’d like to try to find your daughter. Could you give me any information you remember about her and her mother? I’ll try to
make sure your daughter gets her inheritance. Let’s start with this.”
I reached for the manila envelope I’d placed on the desk and dumped the contents next to my keyboard. They were the
things he’d had with him when he’d passed. Maybe if he could explain them, it would give me a place to start?
Sergeant Green stepped closer and studied the items in front of him. “That’s the money clip that belonged to my father. He
was a captain in the Army. He’s the reason I enlisted out of high school. He was a real son of a bitch, but he was my dad. God,
he’s a better father than me. I don’t even know where my child is.”
“Are your parents still alive?” I doubted it, but there might be a chance since no one had come to meet him when he passed.
“No. They died when I was in Germany on deployment. Uh, that’s my grandfather’s watch. It doesn’t work. That’s my
wedding ring on the chain with my dog tags, and that key…I can’t remember what it goes to.”
I pulled out my phone and called Jonas. He answered on the first ring. “Hey, Keir. What can I help you with?”
“I have a spirit here who was offered no guidance. It’s a bit of an unusual situation. Can you come over? It’s Sergeant
Horace Green.” I wish to hell Scotty was around!
“On my way.” The line went dead.
“I’ve called a friend to come over and give us a hand. He’ll be here in a⁠—”
The garage door rattled to life, so I went to the stainless door and stepped out, wondering where the hell Jonas hung out that
he was there so quickly. When I stuck my head out, I saw it was Dash.
“Hey, babe. Have you been here all day?” Dash walked up the ramp and kissed my cheek.
“Yeah. I have a guest. I just called Jonas to come over. It’s a bit of an odd situation.”
We returned to the mortuary to find it empty. I rushed to the walk-in to see the gurney where Horace’s body was resting was
empty too.
Where the hell had Horace Green gone?
 Chapter

Four
DASH

J ONAS SHOWED UP TWO MINUTES AFTER I RETURNED TO DEARLY & S ON . APPARENTLY, WE’ D HAD ANOTHER BODY SNATCHED
from the mortuary. It was getting really fucking tiresome chasing corpses all over town.
“Does this happen to all morticians?” I couldn’t hide the sarcasm in my voice.
Jonas shrugged. “It’s never happened at the morgue.”
The two of us searched the mortuary while Keir went upstairs to check the funeral home and the apartment, and then we
went out to the garage. The garage door was closed, and the hearse was empty. I had no idea where the body could have gone.
“I’ll take to the sky, and you drive around. Call me if you find anything.” With that, Jonas took off his leather jacket and
shirt, hanging them from a hook on the garage wall where a rake had hung.
I went out the side door behind him and watched as he spread those huge wings and took off. I was envious of his method
of travel. It was seriously cool.
I sent a message to Keir.
I’m going to drive around. Call me if he turns up.

After a lap around the house to be sure Horace wasn’t stashed in the garden or something, I hopped in my SUV and headed
out. I had no idea where he might be, but I hoped to hell I could find him. It looked bad on a mortician if he kept losing bodies.

I DROVE around the nearby neighborhoods for an hour, not seeing anything to point me to where Green’s body could have gone.
With my evolving abilities, I could now see spirits without Keir’s assistance, though I didn’t see his spirit anywhere, so he
wasn’t leading me to find his husk. It was a fucking disappearing act if I’d ever seen one.
Completely annoyed, I returned home. I didn’t put my SUV away because Keir might want to go out looking again, so I
jogged up the stairs to the apartment and let myself inside. “Dearly? Babe?”
I closed the door and slipped off my boots, hanging my leather jacket in the coat closet before I searched for my guy. He
wasn’t in the apartment, so I went downstairs to check if he was in the funeral home or the mortuary.
When I didn’t find him, I assumed he’d gone out in search of Green himself, so I sent him another message.
Babe, I’m home. Call me.

I was exhausted by then, so I sat on the couch in the hospitality room and propped up my sock-covered feet to relax until I
heard from Keir. I held my phone against my chest and waited.

“DASH? MAN , WAKE UP .” Some asshole was pushing hard on my shoulder, and I didn’t fucking approve. Someone was about to
be smacked.
 I gripped a strange wrist and held it still. “Stop it. What the fuck?” My eyes flashed open to see Adonis standing over me.
“Oh, it’s you. What do you want?” I sat up and rubbed my eyes, having reclined on the couch at some point.
“Where’s Keir? I wanted to see if he needed help moving Mr. Green’s body around, but he’s not downstairs.” Yeah, no shit.
“Green’s body disappeared. Jonas and I were looking for it, and I think Keir went out to see if he could find it. The man’s
spirit was gone too.” I stood and stretched, wishing I could have slept for another hour.
I glanced at the clock on the wall to see it was almost three o’clock. I’d been asleep for almost two hours, which was nuts.
“What are you talking about? Mr. Green’s body is in the walk-in. I didn’t see his spirit anywhere, but the corpse is there.
Keir’s not here, but his car’s still in the garage.” Adonis looked a little wild-eyed, which had me on the move.
I ran down the stairs to the mortuary in record time. When I got there, it was empty…completely empty. Where the hell are
you, Dearly?
After calling Dearly on his cell without an answer and checking the cooler to see Mr. Green’s body was inside, I hurried
upstairs and found Adonis sitting in our kitchen, reading something on his phone.
“Can you find Dearly? Don’t you have some mojo bullshit to reach out to someone in the underworld who can find Keir?”
My gut was churning. Was my guy missing? Why had he taken off without a word to me?
We were going to Monterey for Thanksgiving with Lucy and Lenny as they planned their Christmas wedding. Was
something happening with his mother that had caused him to leave unexpectedly? And why hadn’t he told me?
I rushed to find my cell so I could call Lucy. Had she needed Keir, and in his rush to get to her, had he forgotten to leave a
note?
“Hello, Dash. How are you, dear?”
Panic. I only felt panic, but if Dearly had just gone for a walk, I couldn’t scare his sweet mother. I took a deep breath.
“I’m fine. How are you? I was just thinking about you and decided to give you a call.” There. That was a decent lie.
“I’m great. I’m planning to go dress shopping later in the week. I left a message with Keir to see if he could come down to
go with me, but he hasn’t called back. Just remind him, will you?” Lucy didn’t sound worried, so I guessed Keir wasn’t on his
way to Monterey.
We chatted for a few more minutes about Lenny’s daughter, Lindsey, whom Lucy had asked to be her matron of honor. The
woman sounded very opinionated, but then again, she’d followed her father into law, so it wasn’t a surprise.
Keir had mentioned something to me about Lenny getting my criminal record sealed, which was something I really needed
to consider at some point. “Tell Lenny I’m ready to listen if he wants to explain how to get my record sealed. I think maybe it
would be helpful in the future.”
Lucy’s gasp through the phone made me smile. “Does that mean you’re ready to consider adding children to your lives?”
I chuckled. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, but I’m ready to discuss it. First, I gotta get your son down the aisle. We’re
looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks. I’ll tell Keir to call you.”
“Thank you, dear. Take care of yourself and my son.”
I called Keir once more. When it went through to voicemail, I left him another message. “Keir, I’m worried. Please call me
back.”
I tossed the phone on the counter and sat at the peninsula, lowering my head into my hands. What fucking now?
The door from the funeral home opened, and Jonas stepped inside. He was wearing his T-shirt and jacket, so he’d
obviously finished his aerial inspection of the area.
“Anything?” The expression on his face gave me my answer.
Before he could say anything, Adonis stepped in behind him and closed the door. “I reached out to some contacts in Limbo.
Nobody has seen Keir, nor have there been any rumors about him.”
There was a pounding on the outside apartment door, so Jonas hurried to it, holding up his hand for me to stay back. Adonis
stepped in front of me as Jonas opened the door.
“What took so damn long?” It was Trent Simmons, our resident psychic-medium and friend. He looked damn frazzled.
“What’s wrong?” I stepped around Adonis and in front of Trent.
“Keir. Keir’s missing.” I wasn’t sure if I should be surprised by his announcement or not.
“How did you find out?” The guy had visions that hadn’t been wrong to date.
“I had a vision of someone taking him. He’s in danger, Dash.”
“Who took him?” My heart was in my throat.
“No one I’ve ever seen. I don’t think it was human.”
Son of a… What now?
 Chapter

Five
KEIR

EVERYTHING WAS BLACK. I WAS SITTING ON THE GROUND WITH MY HANDS SECURED BY MY SIDES . I COULDN ’ T FEEL ANYTHING
like a rope or handcuffs, but I couldn’t move.
It was hot. A dry heat like in Las Vegas, but even more intense. There was no sound to help me figure out where I was or
why I was there. Was I in a coma? Had I gotten a shock in the mortuary and was now unconscious?
An odd sound caught my attention. “Hello? Is anyone there?” There was a slight flicker of light in front of me. Someone, or
something, was kneeling about three feet away.
“Where am I?”
“Aw, now, you’re just fine at the moment. What comes next remains to be seen.” I heard a slight southern drawl, but the
voice wasn’t one I knew. I sensed a threat in the tone, which was a bit disconcerting.
“What do you want? My fiancé won’t be happy about this.” I tried to make my voice strong, but there was no doubt I was
petrified.
“Yeah? Should I be afraid, sugah?” The maniacal laugh that followed sent chills down my spine.
“Who are you?”
Silence.
Then another voice whispered in the dark, “You can’t kill him. That’s not the deal we made with the prince.”
“Aw, now, I can make him wish he was dead, can’t I? Otherwise, where’s the fun for me?”
“It would disturb the balance in the universe, and our enemies would know he was missing immediately. The goddess
would be very displeased with us. But…we can have a little fun, though. How about we shuffle the deck?”
“Hello! Help me! Someone help me!” I couldn’t stop shouting. “Where am I?”
More silence.
 Chapter

Six
DASH

TRENT LEFT , EXHAUSTED FROM TRYING LIKE HELL TO FIND OUT ANYTHING MORE ABOUT KEIR’ S DISAPPEARANCE BUT COMING UP
empty. I burned up a tank of gas, driving around Sacramento looking for Keir. I also came up with nothing.
I went to Clegg Cycles and up to Quinn’s apartment. When Lilith opened the door, she immediately frowned. Thankfully,
she was wearing more than she had worn the first time I’d met her, which was next to nothing.
“God, you stink of desperation. What’s wrong?”
I snarled at her. “Thanks for going to find my boyfriend and getting him to come home without him running away in horror.”
I mimicked her voice, though a little whinier than she sounded. Sue me. I was worried sick about my own guy.
Jonas had confirmed that Keir wasn’t dead, so I was banking on him being right. I’d tear up Heaven and Hell if anything
happened to Dearly.
Lilith sighed. “I’m sorry. All that stupid shit you expected me to say, I was thinking it. Now, get in here. What’s wrong?”
Lilith stepped aside and let me in.
“Keir’s missing. I’ve been told he’s not in Limbo, but I have searched everywhere up here I can think of, and there’s no
sign of him. He’s just evaporated.”
Quinn entered the living room, shirtless with wet hair. Apparently, I’d just missed the magic.
“Did you say something stupid?” Quinn’s voice had a chuckle that pissed me off. I decided not to stick around very long.
“No. He was working with a guest when I left to go find your stupid ass. When I got back home, he was gone.”
“Come sit and have a beer. Let me make some calls.” Lilith took my hand and led me to the couch and pushed me down.
Quinn went to the kitchen, returning with two beers and a bag of pretzels.
Lilith pranced down the hall in six-inch heels and booty shorts Quinn couldn’t take his eyes off of. Heteros… So weird.
“Dude, you just got out of bed. Give it a rest.” I screwed off the top of my beer and opened the bag of pretzels.
After a few minutes, I stared at my friend. He didn’t appear to be as freaked out as I thought he’d be after hearing his
girlfriend is the former mistress of Lucifer and a blood drinker. If I wasn’t worried about Keir, I’d aggravate the shit out of
Quinn about it.
“You okay after your talk with Lilith?”
“About what?”
I waited for the punchline, but he just munched on pretzels and stared at me, the dumbass. Surely, she didn’t wipe his
memory.
“Did she fuck your brains out? Her, uh, history?”
“She didn’t fuck me. I… I don’t know if I want to⁠—”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t give a fuck about that, and it’s a lot more fun than you might think. I mean what she told you about
herself. What that ring told you about her.”
“Oh, that. Yeah. Wait—how do you know she’s a demon?”
“I’m the Key to Keir’s Gatekeeper. I know a lot more about shit than I ever imagined. Did you decide how much you want
to know? Some of it might keep you up at night.”
Quinn smirked. “She already does.”
I finished my beer and took my bottle to the kitchen. “Okay, Sex Machine. I’m outta here. Have Lilith call me if she finds
out anything.”
“You sure you wanna leave? We can get some food.”
It was a nice offer, but I needed to get home. Maybe Keir would call me on the landline? I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought
of it earlier.
“Thanks. Raincheck. See ya tomorrow.”
I headed out and stopped at a pizza place across from The Mystical Palm to pick up a pie Keir loved in case he came
home. I pulled into the parking lot and went inside, ordering the meat lovers on thin crust.
“I’ll be back in half an hour to get it.” I paid for the pizza and gave the young woman my name before I headed over to see
Trent.
The bell over the door jingled as I stepped inside the weird store he’d been gifted by the former owner. Amelie was behind
the front desk with Jamie Gryner, Lake’s six-year-old daughter. The little girl was all smiles.
“Hey, ladies.” Jamie was holding the tablet I’d bought her. It was to keep her company when she had to go for checkups,
and she had downloaded a few educational games with her mom’s permission.
Jamie was in remission, and I’d happily helped Lake move them into Danny’s old condo, which was on a bus line so Lake
could go to cosmetology school without a problem. She was on our rideshare app, so she could come to the funeral home at our
expense.
For now, she was helping Keir at the mortuary, but eventually, she’d move on, and hopefully make a nice salary to support
her daughter. She was no longer dancing at the Tip Top Club, which had been my goal.
“Hi, Dash. How are you? My mommy’s at school, and Amelie is taking me for ramen and then home. We’re going to watch
a movie.”
Jamie returned to what she’d been doing, and Amelie motioned for me to follow, so I stepped into the literature aisle with
her. “Has Keir come home? I’ve been calling him, and he’s not answering.”
“I don’t know where he is.” My eyes were stinging, but I wasn’t ready to cry yet. My guy was fine—wherever he was. I
had to believe that.
Amelie wrapped her arms around my neck, a hug I needed more than I knew. “Has Trent found anything else about him?”
She tilted her head toward the office where Trent was sitting at his desk with crystals in front of him. His eyes were closed,
so I guessed he was trying to find information for me. The best group of people was on our side, and I hoped someone could
find the man I loved.
“Not yet, but he’s trying to contact his family on the other side to see if anyone can find Keir. He’s also put out a call to
David Dearly. I know David can only come back once more, but with Keir missing, this might be the time.”
I nodded, knowing she was right, but Keir would hate the idea. “Do you know what Keir was working on with his latest
guest, the veteran?”
“He was trying to find Mr. Green’s daughter. When should he be embalmed? His internment is scheduled for November
28th. The honor guard will be at Dearly & Son for the funeral on November 11th. Keir thought it was a great day to honor a
vet.” Amelie hugged herself as she spoke.
Keir and I hadn’t had a chance to talk about the plans, but hearing what Amelie had to tell me made perfect sense. My man
would have thought about the details. Goddamn, I had to find him.
I swallowed. “Do we know anyone who can step in to embalm Mr. Green tomorrow? Keir hadn’t gotten to it before he
disappeared.” It needed to be sooner rather than later, and since I couldn’t find Keir, I needed to carry on with his work. He’d
expect that from me.
“I’ll make some calls, but we’ll have to lie about where Keir is to get someone to help us. You and I can hold the memorial
if Keir isn’t back.” Amelie was so sweet and sincere when it came to Keir’s work. She was truly a beautiful soul.
“I’ll call Jonas and ask if he can speak with Joachim. Maybe he can do it? I’ll let you know what he says. If he isn’t
available, Keir has friends who could maybe step in, right?”
Amelie nodded. “Please find him. He’s such a wonderful man.”
“He’s one of a kind, Amelie. He’s my one-of-a-kind.”
That was as much as I could say. It was a pure and simple truth.

I WENT to pick up my pizza, while standing in line, I saw Keir sitting at a table to my right with a slice and a soda. I
immediately ducked out of the line and approached the table. “Where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried
we’ve all been about you?”
I was shouting, but I wouldn’t apologize. He had a hell of a lot of people worried about him. How the fuck could he be so
thoughtless?
Keir looked up at me, his face filled with confusion. “I’m sorry. Do I know you?”
I chuckled. “You fucking better. We’re getting married as soon as you pick a date.”
Keir’s face morphed into alarm. “Married? I’m marrying a man?”
Something was unmistakably wrong. I studied him and noticed his hair was parted on the opposite side than usual. It had
been cut, as well. Keir had been waiting a couple of weeks to get it cut right before Thanksgiving.
“You got your hair cut? I thought you were waiting.”
He stared at me. “How do you know me?”
“Engaged, remember?” I glanced at his left hand to see he was wearing a ring, but it wasn’t the one I’d given him.
“Where’d you get that ring? Did you not like the one I gave you?”
He looked at his hand, then back at me. “What ring?”
 Chapter

Seven
KEIR

Keirnan –
I went to the store. I’ll be back in an hour.
Start shoveling the walk, please. Everyone should be here in a couple of hours, and I
don’t want my floors tracked up.
Love,
Mom
THE NOTE WAS SIDEWAYS ON A SMALL TABLE, BUT THEN I REALIZED I WAS LYING ON MY LEFT SIDE. I SAT UP AND LOOKED AROUND
the small room, but none of it looked familiar. I got out of a full-size bed, setting my feet on a freezing cold floor.
I was barefoot and wearing blue plaid pajamas. As I glanced around the room, I saw pictures of myself, though clean-
shaven, and a few trophies for debate. I didn’t remember being on a debate team.
Looking out the window, I saw snow…lots of snow. I was guessing that was what the note was about. Did I live here?
Where the fuck was here?
A suitcase was in the corner of the room next to the closet, so I walked over to it and opened the door, seeing plaid flannel
shirts and blue jeans. There were also turtleneck sweaters and house slippers, which I slid on immediately.
Opening the door to the room didn’t help. The hallway was narrow with worn hardwood floors and several closed doors.
The door across from me was open. I stepped inside and turned on the light, seeing it was a bathroom. I quickly used the toilet
and washed my hands.
A set of towels sat on a small stand in the corner. I hoped a shower would help clear my head, so I turned on the water and
removed my clothes. Once the water was warm, I stepped inside and washed up.
Bar soap didn’t seem right to me, but I used the green bar to clean myself. The smell of mint permeated the warm air, which
wasn’t bad. There was a bottle of shampoo that didn’t have much of a smell, but I used it, anyway, feeling a bit closed-in in the
bathtub-shower with a navy curtain.
Once I had rinsed my hair, I turned off the shower and got out. I found a new safety razor in the vanity drawer, so I shaved.
Until I figured out what was happening, it was better to look as much like my pictures as possible. Everything was far too
confusing to analyze.
When I finished, I stuck my head out the bathroom door and listened, finding the house silent. I slipped across the hallway
to the room where I’d slept. I found underwear, socks, and T-shirts in the top dresser drawer, so I put them on.
I went to the closet and grabbed a turtleneck sweater, slipping it over my head and my arms through the sleeves. Jeans were
next, and then a belt. They didn’t look like the clothes I was used to wearing, but they were warm, which was what I needed.
After tidying up the room and hanging the damp towel over the closet door, I descended a set of stairs leading to a spacious
first floor. I didn’t recognize it, but something about it felt like home. Was it my home?
I walked into what appeared to be a living room, spotting a comfy-looking couch. To the right were two worn leather
recliners with two armchairs across from them. Everything was neat and orderly, which was oddly comforting.
The dining room was through a large doorway, and the kitchen was just beyond that. There was a huge dining table with at
least ten chairs, another large table in the kitchen.
The floor was black-and-white linoleum, and the curtains on the windows in the kitchen were red gingham. The kitchen
smelled of apples and cinnamon, and I saw pie crusts on the butcher block counters that had been parbaked. How the hell do I
know what that means? Nothing made sense, but everything felt oddly familiar.
Sounds outside caught my attention, so I walked over to the large window in the kitchen and looked out, seeing an older
man on a tractor. He was clearing a path to a huge white barn next to groups of black-and-white cattle eating from a large
trough.
Seeing all the snow reminded me that my mother had asked me to clear the sidewalk, so I went to the door and found a pair
of black rubber boots that looked my size. I slid my foot inside, happy to find they were insulated.
A coat, scarf, and wool beanie were hanging there, so I put them on, finding gloves in the pockets. I slid my hands inside
them and opened the front door as if I’d done it a million times. The blast of cold air took my breath, but I hurried out and
pulled the door closed behind me.
I sensed that I’d visited the place before but didn’t live there, but I couldn’t remember where I’d been before I woke up. As
I shoveled the snow, my muscles reacted as though it wasn’t anything new, so I worked my way to the driveway and then down
the other two sidewalks—one that led to the back of the house, and another that led to the large barn.
The man on the tractor whistled and motioned for me to come to him, so I leaned the shovel against the fence and opened
the gate, cautiously walking to where he was sitting with the tractor idling.
“You just get up? Well, I guess the drive from Ames took a lot out of ya, huh? Your mom’s glad you’re home. She said you
were taking a sabbatical to write a book? I guess that’s good.”
Drive? Ames? Home? Write a book?
Who was this man, and why did he seem to know me when I didn’t know myself?
“Is there something I can do for you?” I damn well couldn’t answer any of his questions.
The man had a welcoming grin. “Can ya open the gate to the barn lot so I can clear it for the girls? It’s supposed to snow
again tonight, and I don’t want them wading in two feet of it when they come up to get milked. What time are Keith and Naomi
getting here? I hope that damn Darryl doesn’t start his shit tonight. When you go back inside, hide the bourbon, will ya?"
I opened the gate he pointed to and offered a nod. He drove through it on the tractor and kept going, so I closed it. I hurried
back to the yard and grabbed the shovel to finish the job, wondering who the fuck those people were that he’d mentioned. If
there was bourbon in the house, I wasn’t going to hide it. I was going to gulp it.

AFTER I HUNG my coat on the hook and put my boots on the rubber tray by the door, I hurried to the kitchen and opened the
drawers like a maniac. I was searching for any mail with the names of the people I was meeting. I found nothing, so I moved
into the living room and searched everywhere. Yet again, nothing.
I found a hallway I hadn’t noticed earlier, so I walked it. On the walls were lots of family pictures of the strangers I was
encountering, though something inside me whispered they were my family. I was so fucking confused. What the hell happened
to me?
There was a picture of the man from the tractor standing next to a tall woman in a sparkly dress. They were smiling at each
other as they held hands between them. There was a small cake next to the woman with a topper that read Happy Thirty-Fifth
Anniversary.
Next to that picture was another of a man with a big smile. He danced with a girl standing on his shoes while a woman
danced beside them, holding a toddler. They were all smiling, giving the impression it was a happy occasion.
The next picture was of a group of people I didn’t know at the same party in a large banquet hall. A pretty woman was
staring at me with a happy smile. No clue who she was, but it seemed as if she liked me.
Farther down the hall was another picture with a younger woman who looked like the woman in the anniversary picture,
but her hair didn’t have any gray. She was standing next to a man with a sour expression as a young boy stood in front of them.
They all looked miserable.
The crunching sound of tires on snow distracted me from staring at the picture. My head was spinning, but I couldn’t
remember anything about myself before that very moment.
I went to the door to look out, seeing a woman in a pickup truck. She was bundled up and wearing boots, so obviously, she
was used to the weather. I slid my boots on and hurried outside to help her.
“Can I, uh, help you?” She glanced my way with friendly blue eyes and a warm smile. Her hair was shoulder-length with a
bit of silver running through it.
“Did you get enough sleep, sweetheart? You looked so tired last night when you showed up. Thank you for cleaning the
sidewalks. Let’s go inside, and I’ll make you something to eat. You look thin.”
I glanced down my body to see I didn’t look any different, but she seemed to think so, and I wasn’t prepared to argue with a
woman I didn’t know—or did I?
After grabbing cloth bags and a frozen turkey, I followed the woman inside. “Put everything on the counter. What do you
want for breakfast, Keirnan?”
Keirnan? It was close, but it didn’t feel like my name. Who did she think I was? She looked at me as if she knew me well,
and a part of me seemed to recognize her, but I couldn’t imagine why or how.
“I’ll be fine with coffee. I’m not much of a breakfast person.” Suddenly, a blond guy flashed through my mind’s eye. He
was eating food at a kitchen counter, and we laughed together. My heart sped up a bit.
“When is Sibley getting here?”
Who the hell was Sibley? I had a sick feeling in my gut, and then I glanced at my left hand and found a ring. Oh hell, was I
married?
“Uh, I’m not sure.”
What else could I say? I had no idea who or what Sibley was to me.
“Are you sure you two can’t work things out, Keirnan? You’ve been together for five years, and she’s pregnant. Don’t you
want to be a father to your unborn child?”
“We’re working on it.” It was the best response that came to mind. Hell, was I going to be a father? I wanted a child, didn’t
I? I didn’t think that was the problem. The mother, though, felt wrong.
The woman in the kitchen stepped closer and touched my shoulder. “Then why did you invite her for Thanksgiving?”
Damn, that was a good question.
“I guess she wanted to see all of you.”
The woman laughed. “Honey, her parents live up the road. She’s been in our lives since she was a little girl and they
moved in. She’ll still be in our lives, even if you two can’t work things out.”
I had a million questions swirling in my head and no answers. What the hell was going on? I knew I wasn’t where I needed
to be, but I couldn’t understand why.
 Chapter

Eight
DASH

KEIR AND I ATE PIZZA WHEN WE GOT HOME, BUT HE DIDN ’ T SAY A WORD TO ME ALL THROUGH THE MEAL. WAS HE MAD ? HE WAS
acting strangely, and for me to say that after everything we’d been through was saying a lot.
I asked him questions about looking for Sergeant Green. He got a wild-eyed expression and shoved more pizza in his mouth
before he shrugged. A shrug wasn’t an answer! For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what the fuck was going on.
I cleaned up the kitchen and headed down to the mortuary. Keir went to our bedroom and locked the door, which likely
meant me riding the couch that night. What the hell had I done to piss him off?
Mr. Green was in the walk-in, and I needed to figure out what to do with him. Keir had turned white as a sheet when I
asked him if he was going to work in the mortuary, so I was guessing that was a big no, but Mr. Green still needed to be
embalmed. Fuck if I knew how to do it. Could I find shit like that on YouTube?
When I arrived downstairs, I was surprised to see Josephine, my guardian angel, sitting at Keir’s desk with her latest
knitting project, the yarn bag at her feet. She had a smile on her face that I’d missed. It was like my mother was alive again.
“When did you get back?” I hurried over to the desk and pulled her from the chair to hug her. I needed her presence more
than I wanted to admit.
“Not long ago. Jonas sent word to me that Keir’s missing, and you have a guest in the walk-in.”
I sighed. “Actually, Keir’s upstairs, locked in our bedroom. Something’s going on with him, Jo. He freaked out when I
asked him if he was coming down to embalm Mr. Green. He turned pale…well, paler…and ran back to the bedroom. That’s
not like him.”
Jo’s face wrinkled a bit before she stood. “Introduce me to Mr. Green.”
I went to the walk-in, opening the door and stepping inside. Mr. Green’s husk was on the table, and his spirit stood guard.
“Hello, Mr. Green. I’m Dash Clegg. We need to prepare your body for the memorial service.”
“Where’s Mr. Dearly?” I heard him loud and clear without Keir being there for me to touch, which was a surprise. Mr.
Green’s spirit had a beautiful white aura.
Oh, I could tell him Keir was having a crisis of some sort, but the man had problems of his own. He didn’t need to hear
ours. “He’s upstairs resting after a long day. He’ll be down tomorrow.”
I went to the desk where Keir had left a folder on the keyboard. It had a label for Mr. Horace Green, so I flipped it open to
see his name, and the information about his burial and Keir’s notes.

Divorced. Daughter. Stationed at Fort Riley, Kansas.

Last known place of residence: Sacramento.
Find any family to attend the memorial.
“What do you think?” I turned to Jo, who was reading over my shoulder.
“It seems as though Mr. Green is missing family. Did Keir find anyone?”
I slowly turned the desk chair to stare at Jo. I knew they were an angel, but it felt as though they were testing me at times.
“How the hell would I know?”
Jo chuckled. “You live with the man and are about to get married. Have you picked a date yet?”
I frowned. “Lucy and Lenny are getting married at Christmas, so we’re waiting to choose a date after their wedding. I just
wanna marry the man, but right now, I gotta figure out what’s happening with him.”
“What do you mean, Dashiell?”
“He’s confused. He doesn’t know where he is, and he doesn’t seem to remember me. I’m afraid he’s having a medical
emergency, Jo.”
“Take me to him.”
I turned to Mr. Green’s spirit. “Sir, I’ll be back.” I wheeled the cart back into the walk-in and closed him inside before
returning to Jo.
I took her upstairs to the apartment. Keir hadn’t come out of the bedroom, which worried me more. “Back here.” I motioned
for her to follow me. We walked to the door, and I tried to turn the knob. It didn’t budge.
I reached over the ledge to find the weird little key, but Jo touched the lock and the door opened. Keir was in the middle of
the bed curled into a ball with the comforter over his head. I didn’t see his clothes anywhere, so he must have kept them on.
That wasn’t like my guy at all.
Jo lifted the comforter and touched Keir before she closed her eyes for a moment. She then removed her hand, replaced the
comforter, and walked out the door. I quickly followed her, closing the door once we were outside.
We returned to the mortuary before she said anything. Once we were in the embalming suite, she looked at me and offered a
gentle smile. “That’s not Keir. I don’t know who he is, but he’s possessed by a demon.”
I was sure the sputtering from my mouth was comical because she giggled. “Whaddya…? Who…? That’s not…? What do
you mean that’s not Keir?” If the man in our bed wasn’t my fiancé, who the fuck was he and what was he doing walking around
looking like Keir? My head was spinning at her comment.
“Sit down, Dashiell. I’m not sure what’s going on, but let’s deal with the problem at hand first. Mr. Green. You can’t
legally embalm him, so you’re going to need to find a licensed mortician. Keir has names and addresses of folks he’s helped in
a time of need, so get Amelie to reach out to someone. In the meantime, let’s try to find Mr. Green’s family or friends.”
Jo picked up the folder and read through the sparse notes Keir had jotted down. “Hmm. Not much, is there?”
“Can’t you cosmically find them? You have contacts in the Celestial Realm, don’t you?”
“I think the two of us can figure this out without me trading chits. We’re intelligent beings, you and me.”
“What the hell is chit trading?” The things the woman came up with were unbelievable.
“It’s a political favor. I trade a favor now for a future favor. I don’t like to engage in the practice if I can help it because
you must keep track of them. So, let’s figure this out, shall we?”
I was even more confused, but I remembered Lilith mentioning something about favors when we were in Limbo, so I let it
go. “Okay, so we need an IT person who can do searches for us. I can do a little, but I’m not great at digging. Too impatient.”
I stood from the chair so Jo could sit, but she chuckled. “Not my strong suit either. What about that man? The police officer
who was a friend of Jay Frick’s.”
I didn’t remember anyone but Keir wanting to be Frick’s friend. “I don’t… Oh wait. Dean Lester? The cop Frick hit and
broke his nose? The one who helped us with Nancy Plum?”
Jo smiled. “Jay was possessed by the Furies at the time, remember? Yes, Dean Lester. He had a white aura, didn’t he?”
“Gray at best. But if you think he can help, I’ll call him.” I wasn’t looking forward to reaching out to him because I had no
idea what Lester knew or didn’t know about Jay Frick. That was going to be a little tricky to maneuver.
“Okay. I’ll call him in the morning to set up a time. Do you think Mr. Green will be okay in the walk-in? His body
disappeared for a while earlier.”
“Oh? When was that?”
“Keir was down here preparing to embalm him. I’d been at Quinn’s place to help Lilith tell him about her being a demon
vampire. Keir came into the receiving bay to see who was coming in when I came home. When we went back into the
embalming suite, Mr. Green was gone. Jonas and I went out to look for him while Keir searched here. When I got back after
driving around, Keir was gone. That guy upstairs came into our favorite pizza place in Sacramento, and I thought he was Keir.
He was damn surprised to find himself engaged to me. Are you sure it’s not Keir with a head injury? They look an awful lot
alike, Jo.”
She offered her comforting smile. “Dashiell, Keir would never forget you. The two of you are meant to be together
forever.”

“I’ M DASH CLEGG . I’m here to see Lieutenant Lester. He’s expecting me.”
The woman behind the counter at Sacramento PD nodded and picked up the phone while I looked around the place. I still
had flashbacks from my dealings with law enforcement before Keir came into my life. I wasn’t thrilled at having to be cordial
to Dean Lester, but I’d already survived Jay Frick, so how bad could Lester be?
Lester came out of an office with a very handsome man following behind. His companion had nearly white hair and big
gray eyes. He was dressed in a charcoal-gray suit and wearing a robin’s egg-blue shirt and matching tie. It all looked
expensive. It reminded me of my beautiful man who I missed more than anything.
“Clegg, this is my new assistant, Paxton De Vil. Paxton, this is Dash Clegg, an acquaintance of mine. What do you want,
Clegg?” Dean seemed a little hostile, which was surprising, but I didn’t want to fuck around either.
“I need to see if you can find a dead guy. Here’s all the information Keir was able to dig up on him. We have an Army vet at
Dearly & Son, and Keir wants to find his family to arrange for burial at Sacramento Valley National Cemetery. He was
homeless when he died. Can you check into it for us?”
I didn’t have Keir’s gift of gab, so I just gave the facts. I was damn close to biting off my tongue to keep from calling Lester
a dickhead, but I had to hope he’d find some information on Green’s daughter, so I had to be civil. If the cop could assist us in
the process, so be it. I’d learned from Keir how to play nice with others, though it wasn’t natural to me.
“Mr. Clegg, how do you do?” There was a smooth southern drawl in the man’s tone.
“Where are you from, Mr. De Vil?”
“N’awlins. Just moved to Sacramento. You live nearby?” Yeah, the guy was smooth as silk. I was sure Keir would like
him.
“I live in Reardon. It’s about fifteen miles to the south of here. Do you⁠—”
“Last I heard, you were living with the mortician, Clegg. Pax, see what you can find on the deceased.” Lester handed the
new guy the folder I’d brought with me.
De Vil nodded and winked at me before holding out the folder and a pen from his breast pocket. “Maybe give me your
number if I have questions?”
I quickly scribbled my number on the outside of the folder, ignoring Lester’s scowl. I wasn’t sure if the man was
homophobic or sorry De Vil asked for my number. Of course, nothing would happen between us, but I had the feeling he had
questions he wasn’t asking in front of Lester. I’d answer them if I could. I needed his help.
De Vil left us, and Lester walked me out. “Has your boyfriend talked to Jay lately?”
That I could answer. “Not since the Plum case. Is he okay?”
“I got a call from his supervisor. Jay listed me as a reference, so the woman had my information. Anyway, she mentioned he
had a few complaints against him. If I get involved, it becomes a departmental issue. A formal report gets filed and then
investigated. Maybe Keir could talk to him and find out what’s going on?” Lester appeared to be very concerned.
The problem was that Jay Frick was in Limbo with Scotty. They were working for the Celestial Council and Lucifer. I had
no idea Frick was doing double duty by continuing his child services work while he was doing whatever the hell he was doing.
Should I drop in to see him and find out what the fuck was going on?
Since the guy currently hiding in my bedroom wasn’t my fiancé, Frick’s place it was. It seemed only right to text him that I
was on my way. If Scotty was there, I didn’t want to interrupt anything.
I parked on the street in front of his house in East Sacramento. It was a nice place—a lot smaller than I’d have imagined for
a spoiled trust fund baby like Frick, but maybe the guy wasn’t as bad as I assumed. I rang the bell.
“Hang on.”
The door opened, and there stood Jay Frick—a very surly-looking Frick. He was wearing the ugliest fucking tracksuit I’d
ever seen and some furry slippers, which surprised the hell out of me. His hair was sticking up all over his head, and he had a
full beard with food in it. He was definitely a hot mess.
“Frick, what’s going on?”
He chuckled, one hand clutching a bucket of chicken while the other held a drumstick. “You wanna come in and join me?”
He actually held out the cardboard bucket for me. I glanced inside to see it was about half empty.
“Yeah, I’ll pass on the chicken, but I’ll come in for a minute. How’s Hell? Oh wait, you’re in Limbo. What are you doing
here?” I stepped inside and the shock settled in. The house was opulently decorated and a hell of a lot bigger on the inside than
it looked from the outside.
“It’s so damn great to be back. Did you know you can call this number and they bring you any kind of food you want? Let’s
make this fast. The guy will be back in about half an hour with my dessert.”
“Damn, this place is incredible. It must be an illusion of some kind.” The inside of that dinky place looked like a fucking
palace. Shiny gold everywhere. A little tacky for my taste, but to each his own.
“You’re Clegg. The Key, right?”
“Frick, you know who I am, dude. What’s wrong?”
Suddenly, Jay Frick wasn’t standing in front of me. I didn’t know who—or what—the fuck it was, but it was huge.
 Chapter

Nine
KEIR

I HELPED THE WOMAN I ASSUMED WAS MY MOTHER PUT AWAY GROCERIES WHEN THE MAN FROM THE TRACTOR CAME INSIDE. I WAS
still spinning with the news that Sibley was pregnant. I got the impression she was my wife, and now a baby was on the way.
Nothing made sense. Nothing felt right.
“Betty, you want me to bring in some wood and make a fire? The kids should be here in a couple of hours. Up to you,
honey.” I glanced at the man to see he was staring at his wife, his eyes filled with love.
Betty, as I’d just learned, walked over to him and pecked his lips. “That’s a good idea. We can let the kids make s’mores
later if they want.”
“I don’t think anybody is gonna want s’mores with the pies you’ve got planned.” The man patted Betty on the backside
before she scooted away, giggling. They were cute.
“What’s the occasion?” I had to know why the hell people were coming over if it wasn’t a specific holiday.
The man turned to me and lifted an eyebrow. “Our forty-first anniversary. Did you forget? Naomi and Kathy are bringing
the food, and they’re going to help make a few of the sides for Turkey Day so your mom doesn’t have to spend all day at the
stove on Thursday. Kathy and Darryl won’t be here on Thursday, thank heaven. They’re going to Darryl’s parents, so this is the
only time we can all be together. When is your wife getting here?”
“Ronnie, let it go.” Betty gave him a look that would freeze most men where they stood.
“Now, Betty, the boy’s always been closed-mouthed about things with Sibley, and she told Cecilia and Ethan she’s
pregnant.” Ronnie then looked at me, “Though you didn’t mention it to us. Is she still doin’ all that astrology stuff?”
I sighed. Why hadn’t I told my parents—if they were my parents—that my wife was pregnant? Why was I married to a
woman? Why couldn’t I remember that woman?
“It’s tarot readings, Ronnie. She’s got the gift.” Betty went about putting the frozen turkey in a large rubber tub before she
looked at me. “Keirnan, will you put this in the basement on the Ping-Pong table, so it starts to thaw? I’ll put it in the fridge
down there tomorrow.”
“Sure, M-Mom.” I pushed the blue lid on it and carried the thing downstairs. It seemed like a large bird, but maybe they
had a big party? Why the fuck couldn’t I remember anything when it came to those people?
I hurried downstairs and found a large green Ping-Pong table in the middle of the unfinished basement. There were chairs
and a table with a poker chip caddy in the middle and several decks of cards in their boxes. Something about playing poker
pinged in my brain, though I couldn’t figure out why.
I put the turkey on the table as Betty had instructed and glanced around. There were rugs spread on the concrete floor in no
particular pattern. There were toys on shelves, and a large television attached to the wall in front of a few recliners. It was
obviously a man cave.
“Keirnan, Sibley’s here.” It was Betty, so I hurried upstairs and turned off the light when I reached the top. My stomach was
rolling like a soccer ball because I had no idea what the hell to say to the woman who was my wife.
I walked through the kitchen to the front door and slid my boots on again before I hurried out the storm door. I saw a pretty
blonde woman, who must have been the one in my dreams the previous night, though, at the time, I hadn’t thought it was a
woman.
She stepped out of the Toyota and slid on her coat. I only knew her name because of Betty and Ronnie. What the hell did
she think of me?
I hurried around the car to the trunk that she’d opened. “I’ll get it. How was the drive?”
“From a mile up the road? Just fine. What’s up with you?” Her voice was soft, as she stared at me. A confused expression
crossed her face, which had me worried.
“I, uh, have I had any kind of an accident recently?” Maybe I had a traumatic brain injury, though I couldn’t remember how I
knew that phrase.
 “Besides being a real prick lately? I don’t think that’s an accident, Keirnan. It’s been brewing for the last few months since
you decided to take a sabbatical to write that stupid book. If you want a divorce, I’ll give it to you. I’ll do anything to keep
from hearing you tell me how unhappy you’ve become over the last few months.”
I’d been mean to her? Goddamn, how could anyone be mean to her? “I’m sorry, Sibley. I don’t know what’s going on with
me.”
She stared at me for a long moment before she pulled her suitcase from the trunk of the car. “I’m not falling for it again,
Keirnan. For the last two months, you’ve been unbearable. Are you having an affair?”
Her words rang through my head. Was I the type of person who would cheat on my wife? My pregnant wife? If I was, then I
was a monster.
“No. No, Sibley. I’m not… I don’t think I’m⁠—”
“Keirnan, get that girl inside, son. She’s gonna freeze out there.” I glanced up to see Betty standing on the little front porch.
“Let’s get you inside. I think Mom’s anxious to see you.”
My head was filled with questions I didn’t know how to ask, but I had to figure out what to say—and quickly. It didn’t feel
like my life. It felt familiar but foreign.
I carried Sibley’s suitcase and took her hand to keep her from falling on the icy driveway until we arrived at the clean
sidewalk. When we stepped through the gate, she jerked her hand from mine and hurried to the front door.
Betty pulled her into her arms, and Sibley hugged her in return. The confusion in my brain was thickening. It was as though I
was trying to see the road ahead of me through a thick fog. I couldn’t begin to guess what might be coming next. I just hoped I
didn’t plow into a building.

S IBLEY WAS in the kitchen with Betty, so I went to the room where I’d slept and found a laptop in a messenger bag. I grabbed it
and took it downstairs to the family room, where there was a desk. Ronnie was outside doing whatever he did, and I had
privacy.
I turned on the laptop and was met with a numeric login screen. I tried some obvious logins—one, two, three, four. Four,
three, two, one. One, one, one, one. And so on.
A hand on my shoulder stopped me. “What’s going on with you, Keir?”
That name. That name struck something inside me.
I touched the hand, Sibley’s, and glanced up. “I don’t know who I am. I don’t know you, Ronnie, or Betty. I’ve never been
here before, and I’m not sure where I even am.”
“Keirnan! Where the hell are ya?” It was a booming voice I knew I should recognize based on the greeting, but I didn’t.
“Keith and Naomi are here. You’re home with family, Keirnan.” Without waiting for my response, Sibley walked away.
I tried a few more combinations of the four-digit code to no avail. A large man who was familiar from the pictures in the
hallway walked into the room.
“You fuckin’ jerk. Where the hell you been? Livin’ the high life in Ames?”
The man came over to the chair and pulled me up by my shoulders. When I was standing, he hugged me, nearly breaking my
ribs.
“Jesus! Put me down.” I gasped for air, thanks to the bear squeezing me.
The big man put me on my feet and grinned. He looked happy to see me, which was a relief. He could have shattered my
bones, I was sure.
A teen boy walked into the room and turned on the television without speaking. Keith, my brother, walked over to the couch
and ruffled his hair. “Can’t you say hello to your Uncle Keirnan?”
“Hi, Uncle Keirnan.” The kid’s enthusiasm was underwhelming.
“Hey, uh, kiddo.” I didn’t know his name, so that was the best I could do. The boy waved over his shoulder without turning
around.
“Hi, Uncle Kiernan.” A young woman in her twenties walked into the room with a big smile. She immediately wrapped her
arms around me in a hug, which I appreciated. I placed my hands on her back in return.
“Rachel’s staying home for Thanksgiving this year.” Keith touched the girl’s back with affection.
She pulled away and smirked. “What Dad isn’t saying is that Kirk and I broke up, so I won’t be going with him to Toledo
this year.” She then turned and left us.
Keith stepped closer and looked at the laptop. “Your password still sixty-nine sixty-nine? Shit, you’ve used that since you
found out what it meant, you pervert.” His voice was low before he broke into a raucous laugh and the boy on the couch joined
him.
I dropped into the chair and pecked in the numbers. When the screen came to life, I released a heavy sigh. “Hey, if it’s not
broke, why fix it?” What else could I say?
“I’m gonna go outside and help Dad move dry cows to pasture. I know it’s not your bag, but if you have some time, I’d like
to talk to you. Come out when you’re done, okay?” Keith then turned to the couch, plucking the remote from the boy’s hand.
“You’re not getting out of helping, Greg. If you think you’re man enough to take my truck out without me knowing it, you can
work off the money it’s gonna cost me to get the bumper fixed and have Mrs. Corner’s mailbox replaced.”
Keith then turned to me. “Mom tell you I’ve got a budding NASCAR driver on my hands?”
The kid scowled, but I could see Keith wasn’t really angry. “Yeah. Good luck with that.” I could figure out what had
happened based on his comment. It wasn’t anything boys hadn’t been doing for years.
I turned back to the laptop. If I was writing a book, I’d have probably started plotting it, so I opened the word processing
software and looked at the recent documents. There was a letter to the Dean of the Ivy College of Business at Iowa State
University.
I glanced through the three-paragraph document. Apparently, I was a Professor of Actuarial Science, and I was taking a
sabbatical from the beginning of November through the end of January to edit my book The Financial Ramifications of Dying.
That sounded depressing as hell, but somehow, it piqued my curiosity.
After closing the letter, I scrolled through the document titles. I didn’t find anything remotely smacking of a book, but I did
find a document entitled Risk Analysis at Death.
I opened the document and found financial statements that reminded me of a business. I’d seen things like it before, but it
didn’t strike me that I’d been the author of these documents, in particular.
Glancing down the asset side, there was the value of a condo with a mortgage on the liabilities side. There were two cars
listed, and the liability side showed they were paid off, which was good.
As I perused the list, I saw savings accounts, my teaching salary, and Sibley’s astrological charting and tarot-card reading
business that she ran out of the condo. There was a miscellaneous entry with a negative balance of two-hundred-twenty-five-
thousand dollars. There was no explanation, and it seemed like a lot of money to list under Miscellaneous.
At the bottom there was a listing of life insurance valuations. If I were the author of the documents, as I suspected, I’d taken
out two policies on myself—a million-dollar policy and a smaller policy for thirty-three-thousand dollars.
“Thirty-three-thousand dollars is the price of a deluxe funeral, granite headstone, and top-of-the-line vault.” Shock buzzed
through me. How the fuck did I know that?
There were links at the bottom of the page, so I clicked on the first one. It was an actuarial spreadsheet listing the expected
length of survivor benefits for a female, aged thirty-five, with the assets listed above.
As I studied the table, I saw the income equaled the savings listed on the balance sheet, the amount of money listed for
Sibley’s current salary, and seven-hundred-and-fifty-thousand dollars—the million dollars from the life insurance policies less
the negative balance from the miscellaneous line.
As I stared at the numbers, a chilling thought occurred to me. Was I planning to end my own life?
 Chapter

Ten
DASH

“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?” THE BEING IN FRONT OF ME WASN ’ T HUMAN . ITS AURA WAS BLACK, SO I HAD TO ASSUME IT WAS A
demon. I should be scared, but I was more intrigued than anything.
“Ah, it’s all becoming clearer, isn’t it? I’m Beelzebub, the glutton. One of the princes of Hell, at your service.” He tossed
the bone from the drumstick into the bucket and bowed. “Come on in. You want a drink?”
“Uh, yeah. I think I’m going to need one.” What the fuck was Beelzebub doing in Jay’s house, and why was he looking like
Jay?
“Where’s Jay?” Had the demon eaten Frick?
Beelzebub laughed. “He’s in Limbo with his Alba Protectoris. I’m livin’ the life of Jay. What brings you by? I’m always
happy to meet a human. Your minds fascinate me.”
Oh, fuck! Was he portraying himself to be Jay Frick in public? Doing Jay’s job? “Are you doing Jay’s job as an investigator
for Children’s Services of Sacramento County?”
The biggest, proudest smile I’d ever seen overtook the man’s face as he wiped chicken grease on his track jacket and
extended his hand to me. “I am. Do you have a problem you need me to investigate?”
I wasn’t shaking that greasy hand.
“Mr. Prince of Hell, you’re causing a lot of problems for Jay. What have you been doing with the cases Jay left behind?” In
my gut, I knew the answer, and it wasn’t good.
“Well, yesterday, I did a home visit to see if the parents were beating on the kid, Alonzo. His teacher contacted his
caseworker, and she called Jay’s boss, who called Jay…me. The boy—he’s thirteen—showed up at school with a black eye
and a busted lip. Teachers are mandatory reporters. Who knew?”
The guy threw his empty hand in the air, his other still clutching the damn cardboard bucket. I rolled my eyes. For such a
badass, he was a damn clown.
“What did you do about it?”
“I beat the fuck out of the foster dad to show him how it felt. Come to find out, it wasn’t that guy at all. It was the neighbor
kid who was stealing Alonzo’s lunch money. The foster parents are okay. That was good to know. The neighbor kid got to see
me upset, and I’d guess he’ll never sleep all night again. Wonder how long it takes for a mattress to dry out?” His smirk was
damn scary.
Beelzebub flopped onto the couch as though he’d solved the problem. Holy—or unholy—fuck.
“Were you really the best man to take the job? Couldn’t Jay have just taken a leave of absence?”
Beelzebub touched his chin as though he was thinking. He then shrugged. “Maybe, but where’s the fun for me? So, what can
I do for you?”
“Can you come to the funeral home with me? Jo says the guy at the apartment who looks like Keir isn’t Keir. Oh, and he’s
possessed. Anything you can do about that?”
“The Gatekeeper? Wait, is he missing?”
“If the guy at my place isn’t my fiancé, then yeah, the Gatekeeper is missing.”
“Lemme change. These are my lounging clothes. I’ll be right back. Can we order a pizza or something when we get there?”
It took me a second to remember he was the personification of gluttony. He was a big boy. I guessed it would take a lot to
fill him up, if that was possible.
Twenty minutes later, he walked into the massive kitchen where I’d wandered while waiting for him. He was wearing
another ugly tracksuit, but this time he had on fancy-ass Jordan trainers that happened to match the tracksuit. He also had a few
diamond rings on his fingers.
“You’re going out like that?” I truly wanted to laugh. He looked like a cheap mobster or a wannabe rapper.
“What’s wrong with my clothes? I see humans wearing this shit all the time.” His voice was a little whiny, leading me to
believe I wasn’t the first to criticize his fashion choices.
“Where’d you get them?” Nothing against a discount store because I still shopped at them, but he was a prince of Hell.
Surely, he could afford something more expensive.
He unzipped the jacket to show a white tank and a diamond chain that would choke a horse. “I copied the look from a
famous rapper. I get lots of compliments down there.” He pointed to the floor, but I had a feeling he meant Hell.
“How are you a prince of Hell? You actually seem like a nice guy I’d hang out with.” It wasn’t a lie. Pop used to run with
the Sacramento Sinners Motorcycle Club, and Beelzebub reminded me of some of those guys—the ones who weren’t
homophobic.
“Don’t piss me off like that kid did the other day.” He stared into my eyes, and I saw literal flames in his.
“Understood.”
We left Jay’s house and went to my SUV. I punched the fob to unlock the vehicle, and Beelzebub got in on the driver’s side
before I could stop him. “You know how to drive?” Thankfully, I was holding the keys.
“Humans do it. How hard can it be?” He touched the ignition, and it started.
I hurried around the damn thing and jumped in just as he shifted into drive and sped away. “Slow down!”
I was going to die.
“Hot damn!”
Surprisingly, he stopped at the first light we came to and glanced at me. “You’re going to make dents in the dash.” He was
probably right. My knuckles were white, and my nails were leaving little crescent shapes.
“D-Do you know where you’re going?” I was surprised I got that much out without puking on the floorboard.
Beelzebub pointed to his head. “GPS right here.”
Twenty minutes later, we turned left into the driveway of Dearly & Son. Jonas was sitting at the top of the stairs to the
apartment, waiting for us. When Beelzebub got out and walked around, he opened my door. “You’re fine. Come on. Let’s go see
the Doppelgänger.”
“Doppel what?” What the fuck is that?
Jonas jumped from the small porch to the ground and rushed over to us. “That’s it exactly. I couldn’t figure it out, and even
Jo is stumped. They’ll be back in a little while.”
“What’s a…? What did you call it?”
Beelzebub rolled his eyes. “Don’t people do research anymore? It’s a demon who takes on the form of another to cause
mischief.”
“Like what you’re doing with Jay?” It was right there. I had to say it.
Beelzebub held up his index finger. “I’m providing a service so Jay can return to the human realm after the bonding is
complete—or if his pecker falls off and they get bored with each other.” He really laughed at that, and after a second, I couldn’t
hold back, either. Frick still wasn’t my favorite person.
“Anyway, it sounds like someone down below is playing a prank or just being an asshole. Take me to the being.”
Beelzebub then adjusted his clothes and followed me up the stairs to the apartment, Jonas bringing up the rear.
Once we were inside, the large demon sniffed the air. “Oh, this isn’t good. Outside, now.”
The three of us rushed outside and into the yard. I led them to the receiving bay and let us in through the side door instead of
opening the garage. I then turned to Beelzebub. “What’s wrong?”
“I believe the demon inhabiting the Gatekeeper’s Doppelgänger is an incubus, possibly one of Nyx and Erebus’s children.
It might be a god or goddess, and I can’t kill a god or goddess without jumpstarting the war and getting Chaos involved, which
none of us wants. Gatekeeper can cast it out and send it back to Hell, but I can’t touch it.” Great.
“Can it figure out you’re not Jay? If you talk to that Doppel-thing like they’re Keir, can you keep it from knowing you know
what it is?” Hell, even I was confused with my point.
Beelzebub stood there for a minute before he shook his head. “Won’t work. You’ve gotta be the one to talk to her—I mean
him—and see if he’ll give you a hint about where he’s from or what the last thing was that he can remember. We’ve got to start
somewhere.”
I sighed. “Okay, but he just stares at me like I’m the fucking plague. I think he’s homophobic because when I told him he
was my fiancé, he nearly shit himself.”
“Maybe it’s just you. Maybe he doesn’t want to be married to someone who looks like he hasn’t seen a shower in a month.”
Beelzebub snickered. I walked over to the metal walk-in and looked at my reflection. I did look like hell.
“It’s because of that ride from Hell I just took with you.” I smoothed my hair back and plucked the elastic band from my
wrist to hold it in place. It had grown out but didn’t look very stylish. I hadn’t thought about whether Keir would like it or not.
Was I getting too comfortable?
Beelzebub opened his mouth to answer as my phone rang in my jacket pocket. I pulled it out and saw a number I didn’t
recognize, but I answered anyway in case Georgia had forwarded the phone to me from the shop.
“Clegg Cycles. Dash speaking.”
 “Mr. Clegg? Paxton De Vil here. We met earlier today. I’d love to meet you for a drink if you have time. I have some
questions I’d like to ask if you can get away.” Ah, the guy from the police station. Maybe he had a lead on Mr. Green’s family?
“I’ve got time. My fiancé is out of town, but I’ve got a friend I’ll bring along. We’re overdue for a catch-up. How about I
come to Sacramento and meet you? Say six-ish at Lavender Lounge. You know it?” It was in Lavender Heights, a queer
community in Midtown Sacramento.
“I’ll find it. See you there, Mr. Clegg.”
“Dash.”
“See you there, Dash.”
I shoved my phone in my pocket and stared at my two companions. They both had eager expressions, which wasn’t good
for me. “Neither of you is coming with me. I’m calling Vale.”
Jonas started to protest, but I held up my hand. “I wanna talk to him about you, and I might as well kill two birds with one
stone.” I then turned to Beelzebub. “I’ll give you a ride back to Jay’s house. Stop beating people up and getting into trouble. If
Jay is ever allowed to come back here, he won’t want to find his ass in jail.”
I then shot off a quick text to Vale.
Wanna get dinner with me? I’ll pick you up at six at your place. Dash

A second later, my phone buzzed.

Yes, please. I need to talk to you anyway. I’ll be ready. V

Son of a bitch! I needed Keir. He could manage ridiculous situations a lot better than me.
In my heart, I knew my guy could handle himself under any circumstances. Probably a hell of a lot better than I was doing
with Vale and Jonas and Amelie and Trent.
I went upstairs to shower and change before I dropped Beelzebub at Frick’s house. His comment about my appearance was
bugging the fuck out of me, so I put in a little effort, though my guy wasn’t going to see me.
The Doppelgänger was sitting in the living room watching television. “You wanna go have dinner with Vale and me?” We
had to start talking sometime.
“Who’s Vale? Your other boyfriend?” His snippy tone was more than I cared to hear, but I couldn’t yell at him. I just
needed to wait until Jo was back, and then we could question the guy together.
“I don’t have a boyfriend. I have you, my fiancé. I’m not sure what’s going on, but we’re going to talk about it soon. Your
mom’s hosting us for Thanksgiving, and then she’s getting married at Christmas in Monterey.” Fake Keir sighed and turned back
to the television without an answer, so I took it as my cue to leave.
I drove to Trent’s place, where Valentino shared an apartment with him. I took the elevator to their floor and knocked on the
door. Trent opened it immediately and stepped into the hallway.
“He’s not ready, and he’s a mess. He thinks Jonas is going to cheat on him, and apparently, he’s had a boyfriend do it to him
before. You gotta talk him down. I wish Keir was back. He’s better at this than you.”
I snorted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence. He’ll be back soon, I’m sure. Meantime, I’m in charge. Now, where do we
stand on your proposal to Amelie? Why the hell didn’t you have her move in with you? Is it about your Mormon upbringing?
I’d have thought you’d have left all of that behind when Amelie gave you your first blowjob.”
My temper was simmering under the surface, which wouldn’t get me anywhere with anyone, so I sucked in and then blew
out a deep breath. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for. Let’s go inside and talk about your strategy while I wait for Vale.”
Trent nodded, surprisingly, and opened the door to the apartment. We walked inside, where Trent’s grandmother’s spirit
was in the kitchen wiping the counters. “Hi, Mrs. Simmons.”
“Is she here? I’ve been blocked since you stole my proposal.” Trent’s tone was harsh, which was a surprise.
“Dude, proposing to your girlfriend at a poker game is the lamest⁠—”
What the hell was I saying? My proposal to Keir was at that game, and it was rockstar level, dammit.
“For me, it was great. For you, you need something much more romantic. Amelie thinks you hung the moon and stars, so you
need to live up to that, Trent. I’ll help you. Call me tomorrow, and let’s start brainstorming some ideas, okay?”
Thankfully, Vale came into the room and gave me a smile. A really sad smile. “Hey, there he is. You ready? I need your
help with something. Tell Dad goodbye.”
I pointed toward Trent before going to the door and turning the knob. “Bye, Mrs. Simmons.” The spirit laughed.
“Bye, Dashiell.”
At least someone liked me.
 Chapter

Eleven
KEIR

“YOU’ RE NOT GOING TO WORK ON YOUR BOOK NOW, ARE YOU?”

I was startled, completely oblivious that Sibley had come into the family room. Reading the research on how to kill oneself
and make it look like an accident had me physically shaken.
I slammed the lid on the laptop and offered a nervous grin. “No. I just wanted to check my email. Are you okay?”
I knew nothing about pregnancy. Was she suffering from morning sickness? Was that something all women did, or was it just
certain women? Should I be doing something I’m not?
“Oh, you care now? What happened to ‘I’m busy, Sibley’?’ How about ‘You should have talked to me before you got
pregnant, Sibley.’ You wanna call me a selfish bitch now, Keirnan? I forgot to refill my prescription for birth control. It wasn’t
intentional.”
Shit. How horrible had I been? “I’m sorry for that, Sibley. I’m just going through some stuff, and I took my anxiety out on
you. Can you ever forgive me?”
My niece, Rachel, entered the room as Sibley was about to answer. “Uncle Keir, can you talk to Mom and Dad and tell
them I’m mature enough to move to California by myself? I had a telephone interview last Friday, and yesterday, they contacted
me to invite me to come out for a face-to-face interview, but Dad says I can’t go. He can’t leave right now, and he won’t let me
go alone. He said he’d help me get a job at the training center at the aerospace factory outside of town so I can quit working at
the daycare in town.”
Rachel was upset, and it was easy to see why. The fact my brother was trying to keep her under his thumb was troubling.
Everyone wanted to spread their wings. I had apparently left my parents’ home at some point and ended up in Ames. Did I
already know the reason my brother was so protective?
Sibley wrapped an arm around Rachel’s shoulders. “Now, don’t be too hard on Keith. He loves you as if you were his own
daughter. Parents love their children unconditionally—well, some do. Keith and Naomi are afraid that something will happen
to you if you’re out there by yourself. It’s a natural concern.”
I didn’t miss the look Sibley gave me when she said some parents loved their children unconditionally. I was still trying to
get a handle on who the hell I was, much less the idea of being married to a woman and having a baby on the way. In my heart,
it didn’t feel right, but then again, nothing about my current situation did.
Rachel hugged her and left Sibley and me alone. “Can I talk to you about something?” I really needed to figure out what
was wrong with me before things went any further.
“Sure.”
I took Sibley’s hand and led her upstairs to the bedroom where I’d awakened that morning. We stepped inside, and I closed
the door, pointing to the bed while I grabbed a chair from the small desk in the corner and put it near the bed.
I sat down and swallowed the huge lump in my throat. “This will sound absolutely insane, but I don’t know who I am. Who
any of these people are. There’s a sense of familiarity, but… Look, I didn’t know I was married, much less to a woman. I don’t
think I’m your husband, Sibley.”
Her eyes grew large, and then she scowled. “Oh, temporary insanity? That’s how you’re going to play this?”
“No, no. I’m serious, Sibley. I remember nothing about meeting you, marrying you, or our home. Betty told me you were
into astrology and tarot readings. If you have the gift like Betty claims, can you help me figure out who I am? I don’t want to be
mean to you, I promise. But I have no memory of anything from this life.”
“You don’t remember where we met? God, Keirnan, you went to kindergarten with my older brother. We grew up together.”
She was upset, and I got it. If we’d known each other for years, I should remember that—any of it.
“What’s his name?”
Her face went dark, so obviously, I’d said the wrong thing. “I’m sorry, Sibley, but I’m not bullshitting you. I don’t know
anything about these people. Rachel’s not Keith’s daughter, is she? Whose is she?”
 “Keir, she’s Naomi’s⁠—”
“That. That right there.” I couldn’t sit any longer, so I began pacing the small room. “The name Keir feels familiar. Do a lot
of people call me that?”
“What? Call you what?” She seemed to be getting more upset by the moment, and considering her delicate condition, I was
worried.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. It felt like a familiar reaction to being frazzled. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to upset you, but I
feel like I don’t belong here.” My frustration level was through the roof, but I tried to control myself. Screaming at her
wouldn’t make her hear me any better.
“Dinner!” It was Betty calling up the stairs for us. It broke the tension, thankfully.
“We’re not done talking about this, Keirnan. I’m really worried about you.” Sibley’s voice had a bit of a tremble, so I
hugged her, not knowing what else to do. When I pulled away, she had an odd expression on her face.
“What?”
“You never like to hug anyone. What’s going on?”
That was something I wished to know myself.

AFTER DINNER, Keith, Naomi—who wasn’t exactly friendly to me—Rachel, and Greg left to go home. Kathy and her prick of a
husband, Darryl, were watching the end of the football game while their thirteen-year-old son, Bobby, played Uno with Sibley
and me. I remembered how to play the card game, fortunately, but we weren’t talking much. I noticed Bobby kept staring at us,
his eyes dancing from one to the other.
“Are you guys getting divorced? Mom and Dad talk about it all the time.”
The boy was whispering, which led me to believe his parents hadn’t paid enough attention to their volume when they were
fighting, and he’d heard every word they’d said.
I glanced at Sibley, who was staring at me. I shrugged, not sure what the hell to tell the boy. He was a nice kid and didn’t
deserve to be lied to, but we had no idea what we were doing, much less what to tell Bobby.
She mouthed, “Say something,” so I sighed as I picked up two cards because of the plus-two card.
“No. We’re just trying to adjust to the idea of a baby.”
“Uno.” Bobby discarded his red four, leaving one card in his hand and looked at me. “You’re having a baby? When?”
Sibley rolled her eyes. Obviously, everyone didn’t know the news.
“Uh, when?”
I glanced at her because I had no idea how far along in her pregnancy she might be. The actuarial tables I’d seen on the
laptop had given away nothing.
“Next April after Easter.” Sibley didn’t take her eyes off me, which was a little unnerving.
I quickly did the math to figure out she was about twenty weeks. That was when the pregnancy was probably out of danger
for miscarriage, wasn’t it? For her sake, I hoped so. She seemed excited about having a baby.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” Bobby looked at me and then Sibley. Hell, I was just as intrigued as him.
“We don’t know yet. I wanna be surprised, and Keirnan hasn’t decided if he wants to know or not. We still have time to
make plans, so we’re not rushing anything.”
I was relieved to hear that. I was coming to believe that somewhere out there, Sibley’s real husband would want to know
the gender of his child, and the two of them should be the first to know. It wasn’t my happiness to share.
“Okay, Bobby. Let’s get going. You gotta get ready for school tomorrow. Keirnan, may I have a word with you?” Darryl
cocked his eyebrow at me, which I didn’t like at all. What now?
I excused myself while Sibley and Bobby cleared the card game and followed Darryl to the front hallway. He offered a
half-assed grin. “My bosses are still waiting for news from you, and they’re not long on patience, I’m afraid. I didn’t tell them
you were in Gilbert this weekend, but if I don’t have some word for them before you head back to Ames, I’m afraid I can’t stop
a train that’s already left the station.”
WTF? “What are you talking about, exactly?” His comment sounded like a veiled threat. Fuck that noise.
Darryl chuckled. “Don’t play dumb now, Keirnan. A quarter-million-dollar debt isn’t forgiven because you’ve decided to
quit your job and write a book. I’ve been able to stop them from visiting you because of Sibley’s pregnancy, but they won’t
wait much longer than Thanksgiving for the money. You need to call them and arrange to meet. They want half the money you
owe them now and the other half after Christmas. If I don’t have something for them by Thanksgiving, I’ll be forced to tell them
to get the money from your mother.”
 So much for a veiled threat. “A loan? Why would I take out a loan?” What the fuck was he saying? What had I done?
A raucous laugh came from Darry. “Dude, you bet the farm, and you lost. My friends in Chicago aren’t in the habit of
handing out that amount of money to a bad credit risk like they did for your dad. You said you were responsible for it, so you
gotta repay the debt plus twenty-five percent interest. Come on. You had to know there would be consequences if you tried to
renege. Marcus isn’t known for his generosity.”
Was he insinuating that Sibley’s husband was a gambler? He’d made a bet and lost? Fucking hell! Things were getting
more complicated by the minute.
“I’ll call this Marcus after Thanksgiving. What’s the number again?” I reached into the pocket of the jeans, which fit as
though they were made for me, but there was no phone, and I suddenly felt naked. “I don’t have my phone.”
Darryl reached into his wallet and pulled out a business card, handing it to me. “I wouldn’t wait if I were you. Marcus is
expecting your call.”
With that, Darryl grabbed his coat and hurried out the front door. I returned to the family room, where everyone was saying
goodbye.
I hugged Kathy. “Darryl’s warming the car.”
“Did Darryl pass along the message? I don’t want Mom and Dad to get involved, Keirnan. They nearly lost everything
when they had to cover your gambling debts while you were in college. What the hell have you gotten them involved in this
time? You know what they’ll do to Mom and Dad if you don’t take care of this.”
I was in Iowa in someone else’s life, that much I believed. Somewhere out there, I hoped I had people who were missing
me—the real me. I didn’t know who they were, but I really missed them and would do my best to get back to them.

I FOLLOWED Sibley upstairs and into the bedroom, where we both sat on the bed before she put her hand on my cheek and
directed me to look into her eyes. She was obviously upset. “What were you and Kathy whispering about? What did Darryl
want?”
I could guess she’d been watching me closely because she probably thought I’d had a breakdown of some sort. Did that
mean she saw things about me that didn’t seem normal? Had I suffered a breakdown?
“What have I told you about our finances?”
I went to the laptop I’d brought upstairs when everyone arrived. I opened it and scrolled through the recent documents to
find the financial spreadsheets again. Maybe Sibley had some insight?
“Uh, we can’t charter a private plane and fly around the world, but we pay our bills on time. Why? What did you do,
Keirnan?”
I glanced at her and swallowed. “Do I have a gambling addiction—or did I back in college?”
Sibley’s face fell. “Oh, Keirnan. Tell me you’re not betting again. I thought when we separated last year and you went to a
therapist, that was all behind us." Clearly, that was a yes.
“I think…I think I might have. Darryl just threatened me, and Kathy bitched at me, too, about a debt I owe that she thinks
puts Mom and Dad in danger. There’s someone after me for money. His name is Marcus.”
Sibley plopped down on the bed, tears filling her eyes. “Dad says Marcus Shannon’s part of the Irish mob based in
Chicago. How much did you lose this time?”
“I don’t know. I can’t remember any of it. What happened when we separated?”
“You bet on football and lost a lot of money last year. My parents gave us a hundred-thousand dollars to pay off your debt
to Marcus Shannon, and you went into counseling for your gambling addiction. That’s the only reason we got back together.”
Sports betting? Hell, I couldn’t care less about sports. “What happened in college when my parents nearly lost everything,
as Kathy told me?”
Sibley stared at me, obviously not sold on the idea that I didn’t remember anything. Finally, her hand touched my shoulder.
“Back in college, Betty and Ronnie nearly lost the farm because of your gambling debts. They took out a loan to pay them off so
a bookie wouldn’t break your legs.” Damn. That was harsh.
“Darryl says I owe two hundred thousand dollars plus interest.” Her gasp confirmed it wasn’t out of the realm of
possibilities that I’d fucked up that badly.
“God, how could you? You promised me after the last time you wouldn’t bet anymore.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that’s why I snapped and can’t remember anything. Look, Sibley, I’m afraid the news only gets worse. I
found this document on my laptop. It’s an actuarial table of how long the money would hold out for you if I died.” I pulled up
the spreadsheet and put the laptop on the bed next to her.
 Sibley stared at the screen, her tears still trailing down her cheeks. When she glanced at me, I went to the links at the
bottom and clicked the one with the research for killing yourself and making it look like an accident.
“Were you…? Is this what you’re planning? You told me you wanted to get away, but I had no idea you meant permanently.”
I stood and paced, something I was finding I was damn good at doing. “This is another reason I don’t think I’m Keirnan.
The Keir part feels right, but I have no memories of this farm. I don’t know anything about cattle. I don’t recall living or
leaving here. I don’t remember going to college. When did we decide to date? Where did we get married? I don’t remember
any of it.”
My voice was a little louder than it needed to be, but I was spinning with confusion. Was I losing my mind? Something
surely had to give.
 Chapter

Twelve
DASH

VALE AND I HEADED TO LAVENDER LOUNGE TO MEET P AXTON DE VIL. I HOPED TO HELL I COULD OFFER MY LIMITED SKILLS AS A
couple’s counselor—which I’d picked up from the man I loved.
“Talk to me, Valentino. Why are you so pissed at Jonas? The guy might be an idiot, but he’s not a cheater.”
It was mostly speculation on my part because I had no idea whether the angel would or wouldn’t cheat, but until he gave
any signs he was leaning in that direction, Jonas deserved the benefit of the doubt. He shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of
Vale’s past heartbreaks.
“He had the audacity to ogle a server, and then, he said the guy had a cute ass. My ass is the only ass he should be ogling.”
Vale crossed his legs and arms, completely closing himself off. Keir would try to reason with him. I wasn’t Keir.
“Do you honestly expect Jonas will never glance at another guy as long as you’re seeing each other? That’s completely
unrealistic, Vale. People stare at attractive people. It’s human nature. If he’d have grabbed the kid’s ass, you’d have a
complaint, but aren’t you glad he said the kid’s ass was attractive instead of saying it to the kid behind your back?”
Vale turned in the seat and placed his hands on his right knee. “Do you say things like that to Keir?”
I chuckled. “I look, and I’m sure Keir does, too, but I’m not dumb enough to say that shit out loud. Besides, I’d never, ever
step out on Keir. I wanna marry him and have a family with him someday, in addition to the family we’ve found among our
friends. He’s my future and my forever.” At least I hoped he was. I just had to find him.
“Where are we going, by the way?” Vale uncrossed his legs, attempting to change the subject. I wasn’t ready for that yet.
“How far have you and Jonas taken things? Are you dating? Hanging out? Just friends? Has the L word dropped yet?”
I saw Vale do a double-take from the corner of my eye. I kept the smirk to myself.
“Look who’s becoming a Meddling Marion. I expect this kind of inquisition from Keir but not you. To answer, Jonas and I
are currently nothing. If I’m with a guy, I expect all his attention, case closed.” Vale gave a confident nod and checked his
perfectly manicured fingernails. The pink polish was a nice touch.
“Do you give him all of yours in return?”
Seemed like a fair question. I’m fucking awful at this sort of crap.
Vale turned to look out the window without answering, so I let it go as I took the exit leading to Midtown. Maybe that was
something he needed to ponder?
A few minutes later, I turned into the parking lot for Lavender Lounge. “You comin’ in?” I hopped out and stood in the
parking lot, glancing around before I reached into the pocket of my leather jacket for my sunglasses.
My friends had all grown accustomed to my eyes being two different colors since the accident, and many of them knew I’d
been given the gift of seeing auras, good and bad. I could also see the spirits Keir dealt with and protected when they were in
his care. They were used to me.
Paxton De Vil, however, was a stranger. I wouldn’t give away my secrets so quickly, and definitely not before I knew what
he wanted from me.
The door on the passenger side slammed, and Vale stomped around the vehicle to where I was standing. “You could have
opened my door.” The pout was kinda cute.
“Why? I’m not trying to get into your pants.” The stunned look on Vale’s face was priceless.
We entered Lavender Lounge and went straight into the bar area where Paxton sat alone at a high-top table. I walked over
with Vale next to me. “Paxton De Vil, this is my friend, Valentino Rankin. Vale, Pax.”
Paxton hurried from his seat and pulled the barstool out next to him for Vale. “Enchanté.”
Vale took a seat and giggled. “Pleasure’s all mine.”
He then turned to me and winked. Setting him up on a date wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but maybe he and Jonas were
just friends. Vale’s love life was really the last thing on my mind.
“So, did you find out anything for me?”
 Pax looked at me like I’d sprouted a second head, so I pointed to the folder in front of him. “This. Did you find Naomi
Green or her daughter?”
He motioned for a server and then turned back to me. “I found out a lot of interestin’ things, Dash.” He then turned to Vale.
“So, how do you know him?” He tilted his head toward me as though I wasn’t there, which I didn’t appreciate.
“Oh, I work at his fiancé’s funeral home as a hospitality director.”
Interesting. Vale had a title now?
“Well, now, that sounds like quite a lot of work.” I could see Paxton De Vil had one thing on his mind, and until I got him
off Vale’s scent, I wouldn’t find out what I wanted to know.
While the two stared dreamily into each other’s eyes and talked about absolutely nothing of interest, I snapped a pic and
sent it to Jonas with a text.
You might wanna come get your boy before this southern gentleman sweeps him off his feet. Lesson: quit
talking about other guy’s asses.

Jonas responded right away.

I’ll find you. Thx.

I had no doubt he would.

“…but I wasn’t happy modeling. I was promised the moon and got the shaft.”
I glanced up from my phone to see Vale was getting damn cozy with Paxton De Vil, and even though it wasn’t really my
business, I was the one who’d brought him along.
“It’s nice watching you two get acquainted, but⁠—”
A server approached the table with a bottle of wine and two glasses. The woman looked at me and smiled. “What can I get
you?”
“I’m driving. I’ll have a ginger ale, thank you.”
I then turned to Pax. “You think we could get on with our business? Is there a problem with telling me what you found?”
“I beg your pardon, Mr. Clegg. It seems I’m neglectin’ my business responsibilities. Your dead soldier had a restrainin’
order against him. It was sworn out by a woman named Naomi Green in Topeka, Kansas. Here’s a copy.”
Pax opened the folder and pulled out some documents, shoving them over to me. The server brought my drink and a basket
of popcorn.
I looked over the documents to see it was a temporary restraining order against Sergeant Horace Green, dated September
2004. It was signed by a judge in Shawnee County, Kansas.
I read through the document and discovered that Mrs. Green asserted that Sergeant Green was stalking her, and she was
afraid for her safety and that of her daughter. He was stationed at Fort Riley at the time.
“Did she follow up and renew it after six months?” Nowhere in the paperwork were there additional references that the
woman had renewed the restraining order.
“No. She falls off the face of the earth after that. She’d been receiving support, but when she moved, she didn’t change her
address, so the Army stopped sending the checks.”
Pax pointed to all the right spots in the document to confirm the information. It was a fucking mystery. I hated mysteries.
“Hell. That’s not much help. We’re trying to find the daughter because Sergeant Green had some personal effects that
belong to her. Nothing on Rachel Green?”
Pax shook his head as his eyes settled on something behind me. The frown had me turning my head to see my smiling friend,
the guardian angel.
“Hey, guys, sorry I’m late. Babe, how are you?”
Vale’s gasp was loud enough that people turned around to stare at us. Jonas sure as fuck knew how to make an entrance,
especially when he put two helmets on the table next to us before he pulled a chair over and physically moved Pax so he could
sit next to Vale.
“Wh— Why are you— How’d you—” Vale was a sputtering mess, which was exactly what I was hoping would happen.
Jonas grinned. “You’re the most gorgeous man in this place. I’m sorry I was a stupid fool the other night. Say you forgive
me, and promise you’ll only be mine.”
Vale’s eyes glazed over for an instant before he threw his arms around Jonas’s neck. “I promise. Can we leave?”
The two of them turned to me, and I nodded. My work with them was done. The rest of their story was out of my hands.
I turned to Paxton, seeing a smirk. “Nicely played, Key. Shall we get down to business?”
Ah. That was interesting. “Yep.”
IF I THOUGHT I was frustrated when I left our apartment for my meeting with Paxton De Vil, I had no idea how upset I’d be
when I got home.
Doppelgänger was still there, locked in the bedroom I’d happily shared with Keir. He wouldn’t answer when I knocked,
the bastard, and I refused to bust down the door.
It turned out that aside from being Dean Lester’s assistant, Paxton liked to investigate paranormal events. He knew Keir
was the Gatekeeper and I was the Key, and he knew Keir was missing. The man claimed he could find my Keir if the guy at my
place was indeed a fake. He also wanted a lot of cash to do it, which I wasn’t willing to give.
If I couldn’t find my guy through the vast array of resources at my disposal, then what the fuck was I doing wrong?
I went into the spare room of the apartment and flopped on the bed, fully clothed. When I got him back, I planned to
convince Keir to go on vacation after Lucy and Lenny’s Christmas wedding. I had to feel him in my arms as soon as possible
because he was my world.
“Dash?”
I’d dozed off when I heard a soft knock on the door. The voice outside wasn’t the one I longed to hear, though it was close.
I climbed out of bed and opened the door to find Doppelgänger standing there, his hair pointing in every direction. He
looked like my Keir, but I could see the subtle differences.
“Oh, uh, Keir? What’s wrong?”
“I have a terrible headache. Do you have anything I can take?”
I walked out of the spare room and through our bedroom to the bathroom vanity, opening the medicine cabinet and
retrieving a bottle of pain relievers. I twisted off the cap and held the two pills in my palm before quickly closing my hand
around them. “You want these? You gotta talk to me.”
I took them with me down the hallway to the kitchen and went to the cupboard to get him a glass. I filled it with water and
set it on the counter. I heard him shuffling behind me, and I had to remind myself he wasn’t my guy.
Doppelgänger sat at the peninsula and glared at me. “Give me the pills. I’m in pain.”
“Who are you, really? I’m not giving you anything until you tell me the truth.”
“I don’t know.” The man’s voice was timid, and his aura was pale gray. He wasn’t the being I wanted to talk to.
“Not you, the man. The demon inside you. Who are you?”
The man’s eyes suddenly flashed black as he stared at me. “Fuck you.”
I chuckled. “You wish. Tell me your name.”
Doppelgänger twisted unnaturally, and a maniacal laugh burst out of him. “You can’t cast me out if you don’t know my
name, but then again, you can’t cast me out anyway, can you? That’s your precious Gatekeeper.”
Suddenly, the possessed man hopped off the chair and rushed out the apartment door. I tried to follow, but he was too fast.
I had the sick feeling I would need the Doppelgänger to get my Keir back, but I had no idea how to find him. Keir could rid
him of that demon bitch in a heartbeat. Without Keir, I was fucking powerless.

DAY three of Keir being gone found me in a shitty mood as I opened the door to the receiving bay after someone rang the bell
unannounced.
Lilith and Quinn were waiting for me with a man I didn’t know. He looked a little glazed over, but since I didn’t know him,
that might be his natural expression.
“Who’s this?” I didn’t bother with a hello or a go to hell. I was in no mood.
“Desmond Smythe. He’s a licensed mortician. He was more than happy to embalm your guest after I put out the call for
help.”
Lilith appeared pleased with herself, and I knew better than to ask why. The man was clearly not a volunteer, but hopefully,
he wouldn’t be needed very long, and then Lilith could release him from her evil clutches and send him on his way.
I glanced at my best friend. “How are you with all of this?”
Quinn shrugged. “How am I supposed to be about it? I love her, and she’s finally agreed to move in. She explained a lot of
shit to me, but my mind is still a little blown.”
 I got that in spades. “Well then, come inside. I’ve got a runaway demon on my hands right now. We might as well get the
embalming done on our guest while you have a mortician on hand.”
I retrieved Mr. Green’s body from the walk-in while Mr. Smythe began adjusting the equipment Keir had laid out a few
days earlier but hadn’t had the chance to use. I wheeled the cart over to him, and when he unzipped the bag, I turned to see
Quinn’s face go white.
“How about you and I go upstairs and have coffee while this gets done. Lilith, you’ll keep track of Mr. Smythe, right?”
“Of course. I’ll even help him.”
I led Quinn upstairs to the funeral home, and we sat in the hospitality room. Amelie came out of Keir’s office and joined us.
“Any word on Keir yet? Is the funeral for Mr. Green still on Tuesday? Since there’s no family, I’m assuming it won’t be an
open casket.”
I stared at the two of them and shook my head. Of course they knew Keir was missing, and he was the one in charge at
Dearly & Son, but I wouldn’t do anything my guy wouldn’t approve of if he were here.
“No, we’ll get Lake to come in and see what she can do for him. Keir would want Sergeant Green to look his best, and
that’s exactly what we’re going to do.”
Amelie offered a sweet smile. “You’re right. What was I thinking? I’ll call her, and then I’ll call about the uniform. I
believe it’s being delivered on Monday.” She went back to the office, and Quinn stared at me.
“What?”
Quinn smirked. “You’re seriously going to hold a funeral for a vet who may or may not have anyone in attendance? You’re
not a licensed mortician. Can you legally do this?”
I chuckled and shook my head. “Probably not but fuck it. Keir would want me to do it. There will be an honor guard, and
the VFW guys are good about showing up, so there will be someone here to send Sergeant Green on his way.”
Quinn stood and slapped my shoulder. “Well, let’s get it set up.”
I thought of Keir and his preparations when he had a funeral. I led Quinn toward the chapel to begin putting out chairs and
floral arrangements for the service, and we got busy.
I wanted to bring Keir’s vision, as I’d learned from him, forward. When he came home to me, I wanted him to be proud of
what I’d done in his absence.
I wasn’t planning to allow it to be too much longer until he was back in my arms. I still had a couple of chits, as Jo called
them, that I hadn’t used yet.
 Chapter

Thirteen
KEIR

“DEARLY, YOU HAVE THE SEXIEST ASS .” MY LEGS WERE DRAPED OVER STRONG SHOULDERS AS A THICK FINGER CIRCLED MY HOLE.
It was slick, and it ignited a fire inside me. All the blood in my head rushed south at a dizzying pace, making my cock throb.
“Need you inside me.” My voice was hoarse as I clutched the sheet beneath my hands to keep from scratching my nails
over his beautiful flesh.
He had chin-length blond hair that framed a gorgeous face and the most unique eyes I’d ever seen. They gazed into mine as
the head of his cock brushed against my entrance, and as he slowly glided inside, filling me completely, he gave me a beautiful
smile. “I love you so much. I don’t know what I did before I met you.”
He slid back but didn’t pull out all the way. “Fuck, you feel good wrapped around⁠—"
Shouts yanked me from my beautiful dream. My heart pounded as I hopped up from the chair where I’d fallen asleep
because Sibley had taken the bed. I now understood why it hadn’t felt right to climb in with her. Besides the fact that I was gay,
I knew deep down she was someone else’s wife.
I glanced at the bed to see she was sleeping soundly, with a peaceful smile. It was a relief to see it, especially under the
circumstances.
I walked over to the door and opened it. Downstairs was quiet. I made my way to the first floor and looked out the front
door.
An unknown man had a long gun trained on my father, who was holding his hands in the air. That wasn’t good. I opened the
front door and heard the man yell, “Where’s my daughter?”
Suddenly, the upstairs window shot open, and a shrill voice cut through the air. “Daddy! What are you doing here?”
“Sibley! Come back to the house. Your momma’s worried sick that you didn’t come back.”
“Dad, go home. I’ll be there later.” Sibley slammed the window shut without another word.
I liked her. She wasn’t one to take a lot of shit, from what I could tell, and she didn’t seem to be happy about her father
showing up with a shotgun.
“Is he here?”
I assumed he was talking about me, and there was no mistaking the fact he didn’t like me… or the husband who looked like
me. Based on what Sibley had told me the previous evening, he had every reason.
I slid on my boots by the door, took a breath, and stepped outside. “I’m here.”
The man pointed the gun at me, snarling his disgust. “You son of a bitch. You told her you didn’t want the baby? You don’t
deserve to have either of them.”
I certainly couldn’t argue with the man on that front, but I wanted to bang my head against the wall to see if I could shake
loose more memories so I could dispute my unworthiness. That would probably get me locked up in a mental facility.
Sibley’s father was well within his right to look out for his daughter. In his opinion, she had the worst husband in the world.
Unfortunately, if those things were said to her about not wanting the baby, her father was right.
Even though I didn’t think I was her husband, I wanted to take care of her as long as I was around. But first, I needed
information from her father, hoping my questions weren’t the precursor to getting an ass full of lead.
“Mr…” Shit! What was the man’s name? What was Sibley’s given name? For that matter, what’s my last name? Why can’t I
remember something like that?
“Tell me why I shouldn’t just shoot you.” He was still pointing that gun, so I held up my hands. No sudden moves.
“Ethan George, put that damn pellet gun down right now, you crazy fool. You’ll hurt one of us or yourself.” I glanced
toward the sound of the voice. It was my mom, and she had a gun pointed at the man who was pointing one at me.
Mr. George dropped the nose of the rifle toward the ground and stared at Betty. “That still got those rubber bullets in it?”
The door behind me crashed open, and Sibley stomped down the front stairs and over to her father. “You’re going to hurt
someone with that thing, Daddy. What is wrong with you?”
 She jerked the gun away and tossed it on the ground before she hugged her father. It was sort of sweet—except that he had
been planning to shoot me.
“I spent the night. Keirnan and I had a lot to talk about, and it was late when we finished, so I slept here. Mark my words,
Daddy, we’re going to get back together and have a baby. You can be pissed about it all you want, but it’s going to happen.
We’ve just hit a rough patch.”
She sounded damn sure, which was good. One of us should be.
“Mr. George, sir, why don’t you come inside and have some coffee. I really want to ask you some questions about Marcus
Shannon.”
He snarled and grabbed me by the shirt. “I told you not to get involved with that man again after we paid off your debt. You
didn’t go back to him and start betting again, did you?”
Betty gasped, and Ronald ripped off his cap, throwing it on the ground as he stomped around and shook his head. I suddenly
felt guilty, though I was damn sure I hadn’t done anything.
“What’s he talking about, Keirnan?” It was Betty, and she was entitled to an answer. Unfortunately, that was something I
couldn’t give her.
“Let’s all go inside before we freeze to death. We have some things to discuss.” Sibley was definitely the voice of reason.
Finally, the guns were left on the porch, and the five of us went inside out of the cold. We settled in the kitchen, and Betty
gathered coffee cups from the cupboard and a tray of warm cinnamon rolls from the oven.
“Well, somebody better start talking.” Ethan George was a large man who wasn’t one to be trifled with.
I turned to Sibley, and she nodded. “Go ahead and ask him.”
“Mr. George, can you tell me, maybe again, what you know about Marcus Shannon?” I had the feeling that was the best
place to start.
“Marcus Shannon? Marcus Shannon, the mob boss?” The pitch of his voice reflected his disbelief that I’d asked. It was
likely as bad as I assumed.
“Yes. Apparently, I owe him a huge sum of money. He claims I took out a loan, and Shannon wants half his money—plus
twenty-five percent interest—before Thanksgiving. Shannon is threatening me if I don’t repay the money, but I don’t remember
taking out a loan or have the slightest idea where the money went. Sibley tells me you gave us a hundred grand to pay off a bet I
made before I went into counseling. Did you go with me to pay the bet? Where can I find this Marcus Shannon?”
I then turned to Ronald and Betty. “You need to get Kathy away from Darryl. He’s the one who threatened me last night on
Shannon’s behalf. Kathy even said I should heed the warning because they will come after me and maybe the two of you if I
don’t pay up.”
Ethan slammed his fist on the table, rattling the cups. “That son of a bitch. I’ll kill him with my bare damn hands.”
“How did Darryl get involved with Marcus Shannon?” I glanced in Betty’s direction for an answer.
“They closed the small branch office of the Farmers Bank & Trust here in Gilbert, so we had to go to the main office in
Ames to pay off an agriculture loan after we sold off the corn crop and the spring bull calves. Darryl’s the banker we dealt
with back then. He seemed like a very nice man when we met him, so Ronnie called him directly when we needed another loan
to plant corn for the upcoming season. He came out to see the operation, which was when he met Kathy. They were instantly
serious.”
“Does he still work for Farmers Bank & Trust? He doesn’t commute all the way to Ames, does he?”
Betty shook her head. “No. He went to work for a different organization that opened a small bank here in town. Iowa
Central Savings & Loan. That’s who we’ve been dealing with since we met Darryl.”
Ronald spoke up. “He made us believe he was a decent guy, but as time went by, we saw through his bullshit. He’s workin’
for the Chicago mob as a front man, and he’s got all us farmers in Gilbert by the nutsack because we all owe him money.
“Darryl offered to buy the farm from me a few years ago, and I laughed at him. I thought he was jokin’. ‘What the hell are
you gonna do with a dairy operation?’ I asked him. He told me I’d be surprised, but he didn’t go into detail. Like I told you, he
said he’d just wait until I defaulted and take it then.”
Darryl hadn’t struck me as the farmer type either. There had to be another reason mobsters wanted the farm, right?
“Does Kathy know this?” I couldn’t believe she’d stay with a man who threatened to put her own father and mother out of
business. What kind of person was she?
As if he’d heard me, Ronald answered my unasked question. “She’s just as greedy as him now.”
The lines on his face were deeper than when I’d first seen him. Ronald was worried more than he was admitting to Betty. I
could see it when he stared into my eyes. I wasn’t sure what he was waiting for me to say or if I’d already said something I
shouldn’t. My mind swirled with questions.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
I was standing in the barn where the cows were milked, trying to make sense of how things worked around the place. It felt
familiar to me, though I couldn’t guess why. I didn’t seem like the farmer type either.
I turned to see who owned the voice and met the smiling face of my brother, Keith. He wore rubber boots and a thick
waxed apron over his flannel shirt and jeans. “What’s up? You don’t usually help with the milking.”
That was a relief. I knew fuck-all about how to milk cows. At least I wouldn’t have to fake a headache to get out of it.
“Do you come over every night?” I had no idea where he and his family lived, but it had to be close if he helped them milk
the cows every night.
“I milk with Dad at night so Mom can make dinner. Naomi isn’t really a good cook, so if I help Dad, Mom makes enough
dinner for me to take home. Rachel said you were all for her going to California without me. What the hell, dude?”
He seemed upset with me, but I guessed opening my mouth and taking a side was a bad idea. Such an intelligent and mature
young woman deserved to make her own life wherever she chose. I had the feeling Rachel could handle it.
“I’m sorry, Keith, but she’s not a child. She’s graduated from college, and she wants to find a job. She doesn’t want to work
in a factory, even if it’s in a training capacity.” I sounded like a snob, but I couldn’t blame her. Apparently, I was a college
professor, so I had left the nest at some point and made a life outside the small town of Gilbert, Iowa.
“Keirnan, did you completely forget the story I told you about her birth father? The fucker is crazy and used to beat Naomi
and Rachel before they got away from him. Last we knew, he was somewhere in California. I absolutely won’t take that chance
with her safety that he would find her when she was alone and vulnerable. I’m surprised you’d encourage her.”
“Is he still a threat?”
Keith released an exasperated sigh. “Naomi had to get a restraining order against him, and then Rachel and she disappeared
while Green was deployed. After she had divorce papers served, he became violent and started stalking her. She and Rachel
snuck away in the middle of the night and hid from him. That was how they ended up moving here.”
Hearing his explanation bothered me. Nobody should go through what he was describing, but something about the story
sounded off, though I couldn’t guess what.
“Did he not provide for Rachel after they divorced?” Even if they were no longer together, he still owed his child some
financial support.
“Naomi received child support through the Army for a while. Green was stationed overseas, and she and Rachel had
moved away from Fort Riley but still lived in Kansas. Green tracked her through the payroll office, and when he found them, he
slapped Naomi around. She filed for a restraining order when she lived in Topeka.
“Once the divorce was finalized, she moved away so he couldn’t find her and ended up here in Gilbert. She got a job in
human resources at the factory, and that’s how I met her. She stopped asking for child support because she’d have had to
disclose where she lived and negotiate visitation. She decided it just wasn’t worth it.”
Keith filled a bucket with grain and walked up a ramp to an elevated concrete platform where the six milking machines
were located, filling a small trough at each spot. It seemed logical that one would feed the cows while taking their milk. Sort of
a tradeoff, I presumed.
“Well, I still think you should give it some thought. Why don’t you contact the Army and see if you can check his
whereabouts? Maybe he’s dead?”
I stopped in my tracks. The story sounded too familiar for me to disregard it. The Army connection seemed to resonate, and
a dead soldier’s face popped into my head. I didn’t know him, but he was wearing a uniform, and then suddenly, he was an old
man. What the fuck did that mean?
I was rattled, so I decided to change the subject. “Can I ask you a question?”
Keith walked down the ramp and over to me. “Your old boots are in the closet. If you help me, Dad can get inside early.
All you gotta do is let the cows inside. I’ll do the rest. You won’t have to get those dainty hands dirty.” His smirk made me
laugh. He wasn’t a bad guy.
I went to the closet where he’d pointed and found an apron and a pair of boots. Ronald came into the barn and stared at me
while I changed out of my running shoes and stowed them in the closet.
“What are you doing down here?” Ronald opened a sliding door to reveal a bunch of black-and-white cows with heavy
udders waiting patiently.
Keith stepped over to me and put his hand on my shoulder. “Dad, Keirnan’s going to help tonight. He’ll man the gate, and
I’ll do the rest. Why don’t you go inside and relax?”
It was cold as fuck down there, but the smile on Ronald’s face was worth it. “Really?”
 “Yeah, of course, I’ll help. You go inside and kick back. Just tell me what to do.”
Ronald laughed as he removed his insulated jacket and handed it to me. “Wear this. Let six in at a time after Keith lets the
previous six out at the other end. Close the door and let the girls walk up the ramp. They know the drill.”
I nodded and slid my arms into the sleeves, pulling the warm jacket around me. “Thanks, Dad.”
It felt wrong to address Ronald as my father, but for now, I’d let it go. I had no idea why. So many things I couldn’t
reconcile were pinging in my brain. I felt as if I were becoming unglued at the seams.
“I’m ready.” Keith walked over to me and patted my back before he shoved me out of the way with a chuckle. He opened
the gate and clicked his tongue at the cows, who followed him like the pied piper up the ramp and into their slots. Obviously, it
wasn’t any of their first times.
“Can I close the gate?” The next set of cows stood patiently, so it wasn’t as though they were rushing me.
I reached out and touched the head of the closest one, and she actually rubbed against my hand. It wasn’t as scary as I
thought it would be.
“You don’t have to. The ladies have good manners and will wait their turn. Come over here and talk to me. We never talk
anymore, little brother.”
I slowly walked around the milking stations and watched as Keith attached silver cups to the cows’ teats. It wasn’t a job I
wanted to learn.
“Why do you think Darryl wants to buy the farm?” The question came at me out of thin air.
Keith laughed as he moved down the line and cleaned the cows’ bags before sliding the milking tentacles onto the teats.
“Pot.”
“Like marijuana?”
“Yeah. They grow it between the rows of corn so the DEA can’t see it when they fly over. I’ve heard a few farmers nearby
sold their fields when the market took a downturn. They’re letting their corn go to seed in the fields because it hides the pot
plants. At the end of the season, they plow it under, and someone gives them more money to replant the crop for the next year.”
That was interesting. They were letting their corn go to waste and plowing it under? As I thought about it, pot probably
brought in more money than corn.
Keith hooked up the last cow in that group, stepped to the front of the chute, and pressed a button. The machines began their
milking routine, and the bovines ate the grain in the troughs as though it was no big deal.
Soft music played over expensive speakers, and Keith went to a refrigerator in the corner of the large room, returning with
two beers. He popped them open and handed one to me with a grin.
“I wish we could have done this more when we were younger, but you had your own things to do, and I wanted to stay here
in Gilbert. I don’t blame you for leaving. You were always too damn smart for us, but I won’t lie and say I didn’t miss you.”
If I wasn’t mistaken, Keith reached up and wiped the corner of his right eye, which touched my heart. I shouldn’t be hearing
this confession. It should be saved for his brother—his real brother.
I had to figure out how to get back to my life and return this one to Keirnan. Where was he, and what was he going through
if he was living my life?
Another random document with
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 SCOTCH MINCED COLLOPS.

“Chop the beef small, season it with salt and pepper, put it, in its
raw state, into small jars, and pour on the top some clarified butter.
When wanted for use put the clarified butter into a frying-pan, and
slice some onions into the pan and fry them. Add a little water to
them, and put in the minced meat. Stew it well, and in a few minutes
it will be fit to serve.”
 BEEF TONGUES.

These may be cured by any of the receipts which we have already

given for pickling beef, or for those which will be found further on for
hams and bacon. Some persons prefer them cured with salt and
saltpetre only, and dried naturally in a cool and airy room. For such
of our readers as like them highly and richly flavoured we give our
own method of having them prepared, which is this:—“Rub over the
tongue a handful of fine salt, and let it drain until the following day;
then, should it weigh from seven to eight pounds, mix thoroughly an
ounce of saltpetre, two ounces of the coarsest sugar, and half an
ounce of black pepper; when the tongue has been well rubbed with
these, add three ounces of bruised juniper-berries; and when it has
laid two days, eight ounces of bay salt, dried and pounded; at the
end of three days more, pour on it half a pound of treacle, and let it
remain in the pickle a fortnight after this; then hang it to drain, fold it
in brown paper, and send it to be smoked over a wood fire for two or
three weeks. Should the peculiar flavour of the juniper-berries prevail
too much, or be disapproved, they may be in part, or altogether,
omitted; and six ounces of sugar may be rubbed into the tongue in
the first instance when it is liked better than treacle.”
Tongue, 7 to 8 lbs.; saltpetre, 1 oz.; black pepper, 1/2 oz.; sugar, 2
oz.; juniper-berries, 3 oz.: 2 days. Bay salt, 8 oz.: 3 days. Treacle,
1/2 lb.: 14 days.
Obs.—Before the tongue is salted, the root end, which has an
unsightly appearance, should be trimmed away: it is indeed usual to
take it off entirely, but some families prefer part of it left on for the
sake of the fat.
 BEEF TONGUES.

(A Suffolk Receipt.)
For each very large tongue, mix with half a pound of salt two
ounces of saltpetre and three quarters of a pound of the coarsest
sugar; rub the tongues daily, and turn them in the pickle for five
weeks, when they will be fit to be dressed, or to be smoked.
1 large tongue; salt, 1/2 lb.; sugar, 3/4 lb.; saltpetre, 2 oz.: 5
weeks.
 TO DRESS BEEF TONGUES.

When taken fresh from the pickle they require no soaking, unless
they should have remained in it much beyond the usual time, or have
been cured with a more than common proportion of salt; but when
they have been smoked and highly dried, they should be laid for two
or three hours into cold, and as much longer into tepid water, before
they are dressed: if extremely dry, ten or twelve hours must be
allowed to soften them, and they should always be brought very
slowly to boil. Two or three carrots and a large bunch of savoury
herbs, added after the scum is cleared off, will improve them. They
should be simmered until they are extremely tender, when the skin
will peel from them easily. A highly dried tongue of moderate size will
usually require from three and a half to four hours’ boiling; an
unsmoked one about an hour less; and for one which has not been
salted at all a shorter time will suffice.
 BORDYKE RECEIPT FOR STEWING A TONGUE.

After the tongue has been soaked, trimmed, and washed with
extreme nicety, lay it into a vessel of fitting size, and place round it
three or four pounds of the neck, or of any other lean cuttings of
beef, with some bones of undressed veal, and pour in sufficient cold
water to keep it covered until it is done; or, instead of this, use strong
unseasoned beef broth made with the shin, and any odd bits or
bones of veal which may be at hand. Let the tongue be brought to
boil very gradually, that it may be plump and tender. Remove the
scum when it first rises, and when it is quite cleared off add a large
faggot of parsley, thyme, and winter savoury, three carrots, a small
onion, and one mild turnip. After three hours and a half of gentle
simmering, probe the tongue, and if sufficiently done peel off the skin
and serve it quickly. If not wanted hot for table, lay it upon a very
clean board or trencher, and fasten it down to it by passing a carving
fork through the root, and a smaller one through the tip, drawing the
tongue straight with the latter before it is fixed in the board; let it
remain thus until it is quite cold. It is much the fashion at present to
glaze hams and tongues, but this should never be attempted by a
cook not well acquainted with the manner of doing it, and the proper
flavour and appearance of the glaze. For directions to make it, see
page 104. Where expense is not regarded, three or four pounds of
veal may be added to the beef in this receipt, or the tongue may be
stewed in a prepared gravy made with equal parts of beef and veal,
and vegetables as above, but without salt: this may afterwards be
converted into excellent soup. A fresh or an unsmoked tongue may
be dressed in this way, but will require less time: for the former, salt
must be added to the gravy.
 TO ROAST A BEEF HEART.

Wash and soak the heart very thoroughly, cut away the lobes, fill
the cavities with a veal forcemeat (No. 1, Chapter VIII.), secure it
well with a needle and twine, or very coarse thread, and roast it at a
good fire for an hour and a half, keeping it basted plentifully with
butter. Pour melted butter over it, after it is dished, and send it to
table as hot as possible. Many persons boil the heart for three
quarters of an hour before it is put to the fire, and this is said to
render it more delicate eating; the time of roasting must of course be
proportionately diminished. Good brown gravy may be substituted for
the melted butter, and currant jelly also may be served with it.
1-1/2 hour, or more.
 BEEF KIDNEY.

Slice the kidney rather thin, after having stripped off the skin and
removed the fat; season it with pepper, salt, and grated nutmeg, and
sprinkle over it plenty of minced parsley, or equal parts of parsley
and eschalots chopped very small. Fry the slices over a brisk fire,
and when nicely browned on both sides, stir amongst them a
teaspoonful of flour, and pour in by degrees a cup of gravy and a
glass of white wine; bring the sauce to the point of boiling, add a
morsel of fresh butter and a tablespoonful of lemon-juice, and pour
the whole into a hot dish garnished with fried bread. This is a French
receipt, and a very excellent one.
 BEEF KIDNEY.

(A plainer way.)

Trim, and cut the kidney into slices; season them with salt and
pepper, and dredge them well with flour; fry them on both sides, and
when they are done through lift them out, empty the pan, and make
gravy for them with a small slice of butter, a dessertspoonful of flour,
pepper and salt, and a cup of boiling water; shake these round and
give them a minute’s simmering: add a little mushroom catsup,
lemon juice, eschalot vinegar, or any store sauce that will give a
good flavour. Minced herbs are to many tastes an improvement to
this dish, to which a small quantity of onion shred fine can be added
when it is liked.
6 to 9 minutes.
 AN EXCELLENT HASH OF COLD BEEF.

Put a slice of butter into a thick saucepan, and when it boils throw
in a dessertspoonful of minced herbs, and an onion (or two or three
eschalots) shred small: shake them over the fire until they are lightly
browned, then stir in a tablespoonful of flour, a little cayenne, some
mace or nutmeg, and half a teaspoonful of salt. When the whole is
well coloured, pour to it three-quarters of a pint or more of broth or
gravy, according to the quantity of meat to be served in it. Let this
boil gently for fifteen minutes; then strain it, add half a wineglassful of
mushroom or of compound catsup, lay in the meat, and keep it by
the side of the fire until it is heated through and is on the point of
simmering, but be sure not to let it boil. Serve it up in a very hot dish,
and garnish it with fried or toasted sippets of bread.
 A COMMON HASH OF COLD BEEF OR MUTTON.

Take the meat from the bones, slice it small, trim off the brown
edges, and stew down the trimmings with the bones well broken, an
onion, a bunch of thyme and parsley, a carrot cut into thick slices, a
few peppercorns, four cloves, some salt, and a pint and a half of
water. When this is reduced to little more than three quarters of a
pint, strain it, clear it from the fat, thicken it with a large
dessertspoonful of rice flour, or rather less of arrow-root, add salt
and pepper if needed, boil the whole for a few minutes, then lay in
the meat and heat it well. Boiled potatoes are sometimes sliced hot
into a very common hash.
Obs.—The cook should be reminded that if the meat in a hash or
mince be allowed to boil, it will immediately become hard, and can
then only be rendered eatable by very long stewing, which is by no
means desirable for meat which is already sufficiently cooked.
 BRESLAW OF BEEF.

(Good.)
Trim the brown edges from half a pound of undressed roast beef,
shred it small, and mix it with four ounces of fine bread-crumbs, a
teaspoonful of minced parley, and two-thirds as much of thyme, two
ounces of butter broken small, half a cupful of gravy or cream, a high
seasoning of pepper and cayenne and mace or nutmeg, a small
teaspoonful of salt, and three large eggs well whisked. Melt a little
butter in a deep dish, pour in the beef, and bake it half an hour; turn
it out, and send it to table with brown gravy in a tureen. When cream
or gravy is not at hand, an additional egg or two and rather more
butter must be used. We think that grated lemon-rind improves the
breslaw. A portion of fat from the joint can be added where it is liked.
The mixture is sometimes baked in buttered cups.
Beef, 1/2 lb.; bread-crumbs, 4 oz.; butter, 2 oz.; gravy or cream,
1/2 cupful; parsley, 1 teaspoonful; thyme, two-thirds of teaspoonful;
eggs, 3 or 4, if small; salt, 1 teaspoonful; pepper and nutmeg, 1/2
teaspoonful each: bake 1/2 hour.
 NORMAN HASH.

Peel and fry two dozens of button onions in butter until they are
lightly browned, then stir to them a tablespoonful of flour, and when
the whole is of a deep amber shade, pour in a wineglassful and a
half of red wine, and a large cup of boiling broth or water; add a
seasoning of salt and common pepper or cayenne, and a little
lemon-pickle catsup or lemon-juice, and boil the whole until the
onions are quite tender; cut and trim into small handsome slices the
remains of either a roast or boiled joint of beef, and arrange them in
a clean saucepan; pour the gravy and onions on them, and let them
stand for awhile to imbibe the flavour of the sauce; then place the
hash near the fire, and when it is thoroughly hot serve it immediately,
without allowing it to boil.
 FRENCH RECEIPT FOR HASHED BOUILLI.

Shake over a slow fire a bit of butter the size of an egg, and a
tablespoonful of flour; when they have simmered for a minute, stir to
them a little finely-chopped onion, and a dessertspoonful of minced
parsley; so soon as the whole is equally browned, add sufficient
pepper, salt, and nutmeg to season the hash properly, and from half
to three quarters of a pint of boiling water or of bouillon. Put in the
beef cut into small but thick slices; let it stand by the fire and heat
gradually; and when near the point of boiling thicken the sauce with
the yolks of three eggs, mixed with a tablespoonful of lemon-juice.
For change, omit the eggs, and substitute a tablespoonful of catsup,
and another of pickled gherkins minced or sliced.
 BAKED MINCED BEEF.

Mince tolerably fine, with a moderate proportion of its own fat, as

much of the inside of a cold roast joint as will suffice for a dish: that
which is least done is best for the purpose. Season it rather highly
with cayenne and mace or nutmeg, and moderately with salt; add,
when they are liked, one or two eschalots minced small, with a few
chopped mushrooms either fresh or pickled, or two tablespoonsful of
mushroom catsup. Mix the whole well with a cupful of good gravy,
and put it into a deep dish. Place on the top an inch-thick layer of
bread-crumbs, moisten these plentifully with clarified butter passed
through a small strainer over them, and send the mince to a slow
oven for twenty minutes, or brown it in a Dutch oven.
 SAUNDERS.

Spread on the dish in which the saunders are to be served, a layer

of smoothly mashed potatoes, which have been seasoned with salt
and mixed with about an ounce of butter to the pound. On these
spread equally and thickly some underdressed beef or mutton
minced and mixed with a little of the gravy that has run from the joint,
or with a few spoonsful of any other; and season it with salt, pepper,
and a small quantity of nutmeg. Place evenly over this another layer
of potatoes, and send the dish to a moderate oven for half an hour. A
very superior kind of saunders is made by substituting fresh meat for
roasted; but this requires to be baked an hour or something more.
Sausage-meat highly seasoned may be served in this way, instead
of beef or mutton.
 TO BOIL MARROW BONES.

Let the large ends of the bones be sawed by the butcher, so that
when they are dished they may stand upright; and if it can be done
conveniently, let them be placed in the same manner in the vessel in
which they are boiled. Put a bit of paste, made with flour and water,
over the ends where the marrow is visible, and tie a cloth tightly over
them; take the paste off before the bones are sent to table, and
serve them, placed upright in a napkin, with slices of dry toasted
bread apart. When not wanted for immediate use, they may be
partially boiled, and set into a cool place, where they will remain
good for many days.
Large marrow bones, 2 hours; moderate sized, 1-1/2 hour. To
keep; boil them 1-1/2 hour, and from 1/2 to 3/4 hour more when
wanted for table.
 BAKED MARROW BONES.

When the bones have been sawed to the length of a deep pie-
dish, wash and wipe them dry, lay them into it, and cover them
entirely with a good batter. Send them to a moderate oven for an
hour or more, and serve them in the batter.
 CLARIFIED MARROW FOR KEEPING.

Take the marrow from the bones while it is as fresh as possible;

cut it small, put it into a very clean jar, and melt it with a gentle heat,
either in a pan of water placed over the fire, or at the mouth of a cool
oven; strain it through a muslin, let it settle for a minute or two, and
pour it, clear of sediment, into small jars. Tie skins, or double folds of
thick paper, over them as soon as the marrow is cold, and store it in
a cool place. It will remain good for months.
 OX-CHEEK STUFFED AND BAKED.

(Good, and not expensive.)

Cleanse, with the greatest nicety, a fresh ox-cheek by washing,
scraping it lightly with a knife, and soaking out the blood; then put it
into plenty of warm water, and boil it gently for about an hour. Throw
in a large teaspoonful of salt, and carefully remove all the scum as it
rises to the surface. Let it cool after it is lifted out, and then take
away the bones, remembering always to work the knife close to
them, and to avoid piercing the skin. When the cheek has become
cold, put into it a good roll of forcemeat, made by the receipt Nos. 1,
2, or 3, of Chapter IX., or substitute the oyster or mushroom
forcemeat which follows; but in any case increase the quantity one-
half at least: then skewer or bind up the cheek securely, and send it
to a moderate oven for an hour or an hour and a half. It should be
baked until it is exceedingly tender quite through. Drain it well from
fat, dish it, withdraw the skewers, or unbind it gently, and either
sauce it with a little good brown gravy, or send it to table with melted
butter in a tureen, a cut lemon, and cayenne, or with any sauce of
Chapter V., which may be considered more appropriate.