How Do We Survive Together?

(Irish
Roulette Book 5) Ki Brightly & M.D.
Gregory
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HOW DO WE SURVIVE TOGETHER?
IRISH ROULETTE
BOOK 5
KI BRIGHTLY
M.D. GREGORY
How Do We Survive Together? © Ki Brightly and M.D. Gregory

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these authors included in this book.
This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the authors’
imaginations or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
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Credits or It Takes a Team to Raise a Book

Line Editing by Jennifer Griffin.

Authenticity Reading and Early Reading by Trezlen Drake.
Early Reading by Chandra Niklewski, Julie Hanson, Shelby de Jesus, Suzanne Irving, Shelby Holder, Denise Westra, Lucky Barnes,
Robin Chrusniak, and Michelle Sublett.
Irish Accuracy and Early Reading by Jo McCorkell.
First Round Editing, Copy Editing, Proofing, and Editing Coordination by Kiyle Brosius.
Copy Editing and E-book Formatting by Meg Bawden.
Cover Design by MiblArt.
A big thanks goes out to Anna Wineheart!
 The Mobster with Heart

Rowen Shaughnessy thought he had the only man he needed—Dr. Vail Mifflin. But when Fallon shows
interest, Rowen starts to question his entire view on the world, along with his feelings. How much
love can one man give? Fallon has been a constant in Rowen’s life for months, and Rowen never paid
much attention to the younger man until now. There is more to Fallon than meets the eye, and he
deserves to be romanced. Rowen wants to play that part in Fallon’s life.

The Attention-Starved Fighter

Fallon Maher is interested in as much love as he can get, and his fascination with Rowen increases.
He wants a whirlwind relationship, since that is all he has ever known, but Rowen is different
because he needs to take his sweet time. Going slow isn’t something Fallon is used to, but he is
willing to give it a shot if it means real feelings will grow between them.

A World Full of Chaos

As their romance heats up, so does the violence surrounding them. Their mob—the Killough Company
—is at war with a cartel that is set on taking them out. Their world is on fire, and they can either join
the battle or end up in a precarious position that could result in their deaths. Can they fall in love
while they’re fighting for their lives? Or will it all be too much?
 HUMAN WORDS FOR HUMAN BEINGS

At this time when everyone is in an uproar about chatbots taking over the writing industry, Meg and
Ki wanted to let everyone who reads their books know that they spend a lot of time writing. Every.
Single. Day. Each of these characters were crafted from their hearts and souls. They type these stories
with joy—and cry and fume when the plot isn’t going just right.
They fix their mistakes, meticulously going over the entire book until the story makes sense and is
told with the best word craft possible.
Meg and Ki solidly stand behind giving their audience quality writing shined up to the best of
their abilities. Any flaws that might be left over after a rigorous editorial process are human. They
will never, ever use autogenerated words for their stories because they believe in delivering quality
books to their readers and always, always writing with integrity.
There will never be a book published by Ki Brightly or M.D. Gregory that wasn’t personally
written—with all the pain and love that entails—by the authors.
 AUTHORS’ NOTE ABOUT PRONUNCIATION OF NAMES AND OTHER IRISH
WORDS

The C in Cillian is pronounced like the C in cake. This is a variation on the name Killian.
Oisín is pronounced Oh-sheen.
The surname Killough can be pronounced Kee-low or Kill-off. (Personally, I usually think of it
the second way. ~KB)
The surname Morrissey is typically pronounced Maw-ree-see.
Daire is pronounced Dah-rah.
Fionn is pronounced Fee-on.
The name Tadgh is pronounced Tige, like tiger, minus the “r”.
The last name Sjögren is Swedish and is pronounced Show-grin.
“Houl yer whisht” means, essentially, shut your mouth.
“Buck eejit” means big idiot.
“Eejit” means idiot.
“Daideó” means Grandad.
“Piteog” is commonly used as a slur and means sissy or effeminate.
“A ghrá” means love.
“Craic” means gossip.
“Mot” means girlfriend or wife.
If there are any words or names you would like to see added to this list in the future, please feel
free to contact us.
How Do We Survive Together? runs concurrently with How Do You Survive A Kiss?
It doesn’t matter which book you read first.
 CONTENTS

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
I. Epilogue
II. Epilogue
III. Epilogue
IV. Epilogue
V. Epilogue

The New Gothenburg World

The Vanheim World
1
 FALLON MAHER

RAGE UNLIKE ANYTHING I’ D EXPERIENCED IN MY LIFE BUZZED IN MY SKULL AND MADE IT HARD TO
think. With all my strength, I swung the bedroom door closed, but when it didn’t slam shut, I whirled
around in confusion.
Rowen held the door open. His grayish-blue eyes gleamed with irritation. Glaring at him, I took in
his wet red hair, which was darker than usual and combed straight back, and even though I was ready
to pound something into a pulp, I was stuck for a second looking at his soft lips framed by his
reddish-blond beard. His shoulders filled the doorway. There was an entire room at my back, but I
felt hemmed in.
“This is my private space,” I snapped. “Fuck. Off.”
He growled but didn’t storm into my room the way Cillian would’ve. Instead, he pushed the door
so hard that it whacked the stop. “Ye need to see reason.” His lilting Irish accent had the same effect
on me it always did lately, and I wanted to hear more. It didn’t matter that I was hopping pissed, I
loved his voice and liked him talking to me. Why the fuck did he have to be so goddamned annoying?
Even the blue paint and framed boat schematics on the walls couldn’t soothe my foul mood the
way they sometimes did, and it took all my effort not to stomp my foot on the gray oak floor.
“What do you care?”
His scowl darkened.
My adrenaline spiked. I had to fight to keep my fists down. I wasn’t scared of Rowen, but he
looked dangerous right now, which was a real mind trip.
“I care, ye twit, because Aspen and Cillian aren’t here.” He jammed a finger in my direction.
“And Vail’s out, so he can’t talk sense into ye, now can he? I know ye’re young, which makes ye think
ye’re invincible, but ye had a medical trauma recently.”
I stormed toward the bathroom.
“Bloody hell, no ye don’t!” Rowen said.
I wasn’t fast enough. Before I could get inside and slam that door on him, he was there with his
hand on the knob, and I bared my teeth because I wasn’t about to hit him.
Now I really was trapped.
I stumbled forward until I was leaning against the counter next to the sink. Usually this place
stressed me out a little because the top right-hand drawer under the sink counter was where I kept my
insulin kit, but right now it felt even worse—more like a prison. The scent of Irish Spring soap
tickled my nose and reminded me of Vail and how much he loved being in my shower. He’d told me
the black steel outlining the glass reminded him of a British phone booth, which had stuck in my head
because it was funny.
I wasn’t laughing now.
“What about fuck off is a mystery?!”
Rowen’s nostrils flared. “Cillian has ye gearing up with yer training. Ye can’t skip a doctor’s
appointment, especially not one to clear those ribs to get into a ring!” Rowen shouted.
My pulse thundered in my ears and I crossed my arms.
“Ye weren’t awake to see the hell everyone went through, but no one wants ye down and out.” He
shook his head at me, as if he was disappointed. “I can’t believe Cillian and Aspen thought this
fighting shite was a good idea to begin with.”
“They get me!” I yelled, stalking toward him. “Aspen loves me, and he wants me to be happy.”
“Aye, well, I care about all the other eejits who love ye, and I can’t bear to see them—or ye—the
way ye were in the hospital. And over what? Bullheadedness. No thank ye.” I half expected him to
come after me and smack me, but he only rested his hands on the doorjamb and glared. “Now, why
did ye do it?”
“Why are you doing this?” It was childish to avoid answering the question, but now guilt was
swirling in my gut and making my stomach feel awful. “Not even my brother Padraig did shit like this
and he’s a fucking cockbag.” My heart hammered, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that Rowen was
treating me like a kid. A stupid little brat who couldn’t take care of himself.
He growled, low in his throat, and it did something weird to me. I was still mad, but my dick
tingled and I held in a gasp.
“Last I checked, didn’t seem like Padraig feckin’ cares enough about ye. He can’t see past his own
arsehole. Ye can’t skip medical appointments, Fallon. I don’t give a rat’s arse how busy ye are or
what Conall wanted to do today. None of that shite matters as much as yer health. Conall would’ve
taken someone else with him, and besides, he’s not a bad sort. He woulda been on ye to go, had he
known.”
My face heated. Fuck, he wasn’t wrong.
“And another thing.” Rowen shook a finger at me, and I wanted to knock it down. “If he’d known,
he would’ve probably been fine stopping to see the doc with ye. What were ye doing that ye didn’t
think it was wise to leave to see the doctor?”
Guilt writhed in my gut as I stared at the floor between us. I dug my socks in against the slippery
tiles.
“Well?” Rowen’s glare was worse than my dad’s, maybe because I cared more what he thought
about me.
“So. . . .” I cleared my throat, feeling stupid. I cut a look at Rowen, who still scowled. I didn’t
like this. He wasn’t supposed to be mean. Was he being mean? I couldn’t even fucking tell anymore,
but I knew I didn’t want to be fighting. I scrunched my toes against the floor again. “Conall wanted to
learn some moves.” I peeked at Rowen, and his mouth dropped open.
“Ye didn’t. What do ye mean, moves?” His eyes widened and he stumbled into my bathroom,
grabbing my shoulders. I sucked in a deep breath and tensed, talking myself out of shoving him away.
It wasn’t like I wanted him gone, I was just unhappy, and in a way, I wanted to stay mad. The comfort
of his touch flowed over me, and it was nice, as always. The gentle way he massaged his thumbs
against my muscles made some of the bad feelings slip out of my stomach. Finally, I was able to
breathe deeper. His eyes held true panic, though, and that was bad. “What did ye do, ye muppet?”
Rolling my eyes, I ducked out of his hold and turned my back on him. I ran my hands through my
hair and sighed as the long strands fell around my face again. “Well, we dragged some mats that Sloan
had in a storage closet out into the gym in the house and made a fight ring. I showed him how to
escape a bear hug. They always teach that to women when they do self-defense, and usually not men,
but there’s a whole list of simple things he should know how to do without thinking.” I rubbed my
tender ribs that had gotten knocked around today, and Rowen growled, so I dropped my hand fast. The
workout had been a horrible idea, sure, but we’d had a bunch of fun. The other bodyguards had
looked at me like I was insane, which had only made me and Conall laugh more. I turned back around
to Rowen doing the same thing—eyes too wide and bottom lip trembling.
“Ye had yer hands all over Conall?” His voice cracked and he winced.
“It wasn’t like that! We’re friends. We were doing something very specific.”
Rowen crossed himself, and I narrowed my eyes at him. The nervous chuckle he let out had me on
edge. “Ye better hope the boss never finds out or. . . he agrees with what ye’ve said. I heard a story
about Sloan cutting a man up and feeding him to the crabs in the Hudson Bay for lookin’ at Conall too
long.”
My stomach twisted and I flipped him off. “What are we supposed to do all day? Ever since the
explosion, the boss doesn’t want Conall going anywhere. Or at least, not much of anywhere. We’re
bored as fuck.”
“Bored in that house. I’d wager Sloan Killough won’t be impressed with neither one of ye, if ye
say that to his face. This is gonna make me gray.” He ran a hand over his head, and I fought back a
laugh, then remembered I was supposed to be mad at him.
I refused to give in to the full-body blush that swamped me. Yeah, okay, maybe Conall was a little
dramatic, and maybe I agreed with him. Bored was about the worst thing in the world to be.
“Wait, is his arm still in a cast?”
“I was careful. It’s fine.” I waved a hand at Rowen. “I know what I’m doing.”
Rowen moaned. “Ye can’t treat Conall like Vail and Lor.”
“Why?” I scowled, and yeah, I was being stubborn about this, but it was so stupid. “He is like
Vail and Lor. He’s a person.”
The bridge of Rowen’s nose crinkled and he massaged it. “Because Sloan will slit yer throat,
that’s why!” He tossed up his hands in frustration.
I shrugged.
Rowen’s mouth fell open.
“Oh, come on. We are friends with Conall. Maybe we didn’t used to be, but we are now!”
Rowen hung his head. “I am tellin’ ye not to do anything like that again. Do ye hear me? And ye
reschedule the doctor’s appointment. Now. Ye hafta go. Or I’m tellin’ Cillian.”
Growling, I brushed past him, ignoring his body heat when I accidentally bumped him, and went
over to flop on the bed. I didn’t care what it made me look like, I kicked my feet as I got comfortable
and crossed my arms. “I’m ignoring you,” I said, staring at the ceiling. “So, you might as well leave.”
“Pay attention,” Rowen said quietly, and the tone was so cold and different from usual that it
raised the hair on the back of my arms. “I’m not Aspen and I’m not Cillian, but ye will listen to me
about these things. I won’t make ye afraid of me, nor do I want to, but ye won’t like me if ye push
me.” He came over to stand at the edge of the bed and scowled down, arms crossed. I hadn’t been
paying much attention to him before now—I’d been too pissed when one offhand comment from me in
the kitchen had started this fight—but the sleeves on his white button-down shirt were rolled to his
elbows and his forearms flexed. My stomach went warm, even though I was still fucking irritated.
I groaned. “Fighting with you isn’t any fun.”
“Good—” He rolled his eyes. “—because it isn’t a form of entertainment I’ll endure often.” He
reached down and ruffled my hair, and I swatted at him.
“I’m not a kid.”
“Oh, I know.” There was heat in his tone that had me glancing at his face, and he smirked. “I’m
gonna leave ye here to sulk and make the wise decision to listen to me, for once in yer life.”
Sighing, I stared at the ceiling again. “I won’t!” I called after him as he padded from the room and
out into the hallway. He closed the door.
“Ye will!” he shouted back.
I raised my middle finger in his direction.
He was getting way too upset about all this, especially the Conall thing. We’d been really careful,
taken every precaution, and we’d been in a room full of people. It wasn’t as if I’d hidden with him
somewhere to rub against him—not that I wanted to do shit like that. I was happy with the men in my
life, thanks.
I’d been professional.
I seethed as I lay there but eventually decided maybe Rowen had a point, and I probably should
listen to him. It felt ridiculous to worry about having fun with a friend.
“Fuck,” I snapped, then dug my phone out of my pocket and glared at it.
Rowen worried too much about everything. He was always the one to bring up cops, too. His
mind just went places mine didn’t. I worked on the assumption everything would be all right, and he
always seemed. . . . Okay, sometimes he was justifiably concerned. My heart raced. I never fought
with anyone here at the house, not really, but Rowen wasn’t like the other guys. Vail would nag me
about things he thought I should do, but a couple of kisses could scatter him off course. Aspen
would’ve glared at me and rescheduled the appointment himself. Cillian would’ve laughed about the
stuff with Conall—maybe.
I groaned and texted the scheduling line for my doctor’s office to get another appointment, but
when I was done, I didn’t tell Rowen out of spite.
He wasn’t the boss of me.
My lips twitched and I smiled.
After a minute, I chuckled. Hopping up off the bed, I tried to remember why I’d been so infuriated
in the first place. What did the fight boil down to? I stared around my room and let out a long breath. I
wasn’t used to this many people giving a shit about how I lived my life. I’d had my parents telling me
what their very specific expectations were, but I’d never had a boyfriend, let alone boyfriends, butt
in. And if Rowen and I were getting closer, maybe he did have a right to let me know what he thought
about the things I did, even if I didn’t want to hear it.
At the very least, we were friends.
Plus, I’d had his dick in my mouth. Rolling my shoulders to get rid of some tension, I went to my
bedroom door and opened it. “Rowen?” I called.
“Aye, what do ye need? Ye all right?” came a slightly grumpy reply from the living room, so I
went downstairs. At the bottom step, I stopped and rubbed my arm, sighing. Staring at the gray oak
floor and plain white walls, I gathered my courage.
“Um. . . . I’m sorry?” I said, all at once worried. What if he didn’t accept my apology? Things
were so much easier when Vail was here. He would’ve smoothed this all over to begin with, but he
hadn’t come home from tutoring a bunch of rich kids with Lor yet. The sound of footsteps marching in
my direction had me tensing again.
Rowen stepped out into the hallway, slipping his hands into the pockets of his suit pants as he
came over to stand near me. I was a little taller than him this way, and it was strange to be looking
down into his eyes, so I stepped to the floor, but he didn’t move back. I inhaled his crisp cologne,
something that reminded me of chocolate, and he grinned.
“It was nothing. I don’t even know how it got so out of hand.” He flashed a grin. “Aye, I’m sorry,
too. Sorry I badgered ye, it’s only—”
“I know. You want me to take care of myself,” I grumbled.
“Is that such a horrible request?” A furrow formed between his eyebrows, and guilt raged awake
inside me again.
It took me a long time to find my balls and speak. “What if I go back to the doctor and he tells me I
shouldn’t fight? What if my ribs are okay, but he brings up my diabetes? What if my ribs aren’t okay?”
The whispered words came tumbling out of me and I shivered. I hadn’t realized my worst fears were
so close to spilling into the open, or I’d have never come down here. I closed my eyes.
Rowen let out a small sound that was half annoyed, the rest comforting, and I didn’t run away
when he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into a friendly hug. “Are ye afraid to go alone?”
I shrugged and wiped the back of my hand over my nose. “It wouldn’t change the news.”
“Ye think they’re gonna say that bad shite?” He leaned back and the way his hands lingered on my
shoulders had my stomach warming. I cracked open my eyes.
“I don’t know. I hope not. My breathing is starting to feel closer to normal.” I took a deep breath
to emphasize the point. “It’s only weird now when I’ve been pushing it running or there’s something
funky in the air, like dust.”
He hummed. “Ye know, Vail or I would be happy to go with ye.”
Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I flashed the screen at him. “I made another appointment. I
wasn’t going to tell you because you pissed me off by being a bossy jerk.”
He snorted and the smile he gave me crinkled the corners of his eyes. “I was beginning to wonder
whether or not ye were a true Irishman, but ye got that stubbornness in ye, that’s for certain.” He
pushed my hair behind my left ear, and my mouth went dry. All at once, his face flushed pink and he
cleared his throat, stepping back.
It seemed like I should say something, but what? I stared at him, and he glanced down at our feet,
so I did, too. The silence was awkward, but something about it made me snicker, and before I knew it,
he was laughing, too. I stuffed my phone back into my pocket.
“I’ll go with ye.”
I glanced up at him. “You would do that?”
He shrugged. “Won’t hurt. I always have a wee thing or two to do in the city. We could go
together, and if the news is good, we celebrate. If it’s bad, we commiserate. Either way, there’s nice
restaurants in Midtown we don’t have out here in the Hamptons.”
“Okay,” I murmured, and my face flared hotter than the sun. That sounded like the things he
sometimes did with Vail. Dates. My ears were on fire, and I imagined he must be able to see heat
lines radiating from me like a cartoon character.
“Want to watch the telly while we wait for Vail to get home? I’ll let ye pick.”
“Really?” I asked, perking up. “Anything I want to watch?”
He nodded and his smile softened. “Aye, it’s part of me apology. Didn’t like that much. I didn’t
give ye the chance to say yer piece before I started in on ye. But that stuff about Conall. . . .”
Shrugging, I bounced on the balls of my feet, then dodged around him and headed to the ugly
orange couch in the living room. “If the boss wants to kill me, it’s already done. I can’t take it back.”
Rowen groaned, but he didn’t look like he thought Sloan was about to burst through the front door
with a machete or anything. I snatched up the remote from the coffee table and flopped on the middle
of the couch. Normally Rowen took the white armchair, but instead, for whatever reason, he sat at my
side, close enough I could feel his heat. I was comfortable and it didn’t take me long to flip through
Netflix and find a funny movie. He agreed with a nod, and I turned it on.
Rowen’s warmth against my side had me relaxing, and I must’ve conked out because when I
groggily blinked my eyes open, Rowen’s arm was around me and my head was resting on his chest.
I groaned. “Sorry. Was up early today.”
“No worries,” he said lightly and squeezed his arm around me. “Ye’re cozy.”
I didn’t move, and he didn’t make me, and my eyes were drifting shut again when it hit me that I
was hearing the opening music for a new movie.
“Where’s Vail?” I rubbed my cheek against Rowen’s firm pec. “Did he get home? Didn’t he want
to chill with us?”
Rowen stiffened against me and at his sharp inhale, I popped upright. My heart pounded and I felt
like I could run a mile.
“No,” he said quietly and checked his wristwatch. “No, he’s not back.” He pulled his phone out of
his pocket. “Shoulda been home an hour ago by all rights.” He was quick to text Vail. We’d started a
group chat for just the three of us since Aspen and Cillian were out of town, but he didn’t answer. My
phone vibrated, so I knew the text had gone through.
We waited. Rowen tugged me close again, almost as if he needed the support.
“Sometimes he misses texts. Call?” I asked.
He nodded and pursed his lips, already moving to do what I’d suggested. A minute later there was
still nothing back from Vail.
“Call Lor,” I said, shaking off what was left of my sluggishness.
“Aye, Vail’s wee assistant might know where he is,” Rowen murmured and poked at his phone
screen.
I bit the inside of my bottom lip until it twinged with pain.
He shook his head as he pressed the phone to his ear, and the ringback tone was loud enough that I
could hear it. He didn’t leave a message.
“Should I text Aspen and Cillian and let them—”
“No,” he breathed out. “That’s a terrible idea. They can’t do a thing in Florida, except worry. It’s
one call.” He flashed a smile. “Let’s give them some time to get back to us. I’ll make us a cuppa, shall
I?”
“Sure.” I turned off the TV, then followed him out into the kitchen. White tiles gleamed on the
floor, went halfway up the walls, and created a backsplash behind the counters. The room seemed
even brighter than usual because the window over the sink was dark. I leaned against the island and
smoothed my palm across the gray oak top. The lights were off in the formal dining room when I
peeked that direction. The bar separated the kitchen from the round table, where we all sat to eat
together most of the time. Everything was clean and the way it should be—minus Vail.
“Yer insulin pump okay?” Rowen asked as he walked toward the stove.
The question seemed random, but he was in worry mode, so maybe it wasn’t. Sighing, I opened
my phone and showed him the app for the pump. “It’ll let me know if things aren’t all right.”
He frowned at me.
“It’s fine.” I raised my phone higher in the air.
“Okay.” He took the kettle from the stove to the sink and filled it.
About fifteen minutes went by with him making a production of brewing tea, but by the time we
both had our hands wrapped around steaming mugs, there was still no word from Vail or Lor. Rowen
tried to sip his tea and hissed.
“Och, me tongue,” he said with a sigh.
I stirred a teaspoon of sugar into my mug while he frowned at me, but I ignored him. “That’s
something you need to keep in top condition.” I winked. “There are people in this house who depend
on it.”
He snorted out a laugh but worry sparkled in his eyes as we both stared at our phones where we’d
laid them out side by side on the island top. I broke first and tried to call Vail, then Lor. He tried
again. We had finished our tea and the mugs were washed and in the drainer by the time I couldn’t
take it anymore.
“Do you know where they were tutoring?” I asked, going over to lean my shoulder against his. He
was back to staring at his phone.
Rowen inhaled sharply. “No, but Sloan has someone who sets up the schedule for them. I could
text the boss and try to find out.”
We stared at each other, and I sucked in a deep breath until my lungs were tight with it. “I’m
worried.”
“Aye,” Rowen grumbled, and he opened the screen on his phone and fired off a text. Nearly
immediately the phone rang. Rowen’s eyes bugged as he answered. “Hello, Boss? No, they’re not
here. We don’t know where they are. Maybe they’re with Conall? No? Ye’re certain?”
There was talking from the other end of the line.
Rowen nodded, even though the boss couldn’t see him. Tension wound a tight knot in my stomach
as he bared his teeth. “Sounds good, Boss. Thank ye. Aye, we’ll be leaving to do that now.”
“What’s going on?” I asked as he ended the call.
“Sloan’s not happy, considering everything that went on the last few months. He won’t say as
much, but I think he’s concerned someone might’ve grabbed Vail again.” Rowen put his phone in his
pants pocket. “Suit. Get changed. We’re going over there.”
“What if they come back here? There’s no one to wait for them.” Longing for Aspen hit me out of
nowhere. Vail had spent all last week more or less mourning Cillian and Aspen being gone, and now I
understood a little better how he’d felt. I’d wanted them back here, but now it ached that they were
gone.
Rowen growled and texted again. After a short back and forth, he muttered, “Go change. Suit.
Now.”
“Who is—”
Rowen pursed his lips and shooed at me with one hand. “Sloan’s sending a couple of his boys
’round to watch the house, but he knows we want to be out doing something to find them and doesn’t
blame us. Let’s go.”
Nodding, I raced upstairs with him hot on my heels. He didn’t have much to do to change, but I
slipped out of my sweats and T-shirt, then rushed through getting nicer clothes on. When I was
finished, I stood in front of the mirror in my bathroom in a dark gray suit and put my shoulder-length
wavy blond hair into a bun on top of my head. I hadn’t been cutting my hair and it was starting to get
long. I liked the style, and Vail loved playing with it. . . . Where the hell is he? My heart lurched.
What if the Giordanos had gone back on their word? What if he was dead? Panic clawed at my chest,
and I tried to let the horrible thought go.
Rowen knocked on my bedroom door before coming in, and I met him out there, only to see he had
a gray gun in his hand.
“What’s wrong with mine?” I asked, pointing at the weapon as he came closer to me with it.
 He rolled his eyes. “This one is smaller. Makes less of a line on yer suit. I don’t fecking know
what’s going on, and I want ye protected, even if we hafta go into the city.”
Nodding, I shrugged off my suit jacket. He set the gun on the dresser, and then he went to the
closet and found the leather shoulder holster I’d been wearing to work as Conall’s bodyguard. It made
strange tingles zip around in my gut as he held the holster up and slipped the loops around my
shoulders. He traced his fingers over the leather, frowning at it.
“Take the gun,” he said.
“Uh, okay.”
I stood still as he adjusted the straps, and heat slid low in my belly to my groin. His cologne hit
my nose and his gaze was intense when he glanced up into my face.
“Feel good?” he asked, running his hands along my shoulders as he straightened.
“Yeah,” I whispered. Tension settled over us that had me confused and horny. I was still worried
about Vail, but there was something about the way he caressed a finger along the leather again.
“Thank you,” I said quietly. “What kind of gun is this?”
“Beretta Pico.” His fingers brushed against my palm and his voice seemed like velvet in my ears
as he picked up the gun and slid it into the holster at my side. He snagged my suit jacket from where
I’d hung it over my arm and held it up for me. I’d seen him do the same thing for Vail, and I took a
deep breath as I turned and let him help me. He smoothed his hands along my shoulders once more.
“There, ye can barely see the gun line.” He patted my arms, and I glanced back, catching him
grinning, but he didn’t look right.
“It’s okay. I’m worried, too. You don’t have to pretend.”
He let out a long breath and nodded.
We went downstairs, and instead of taking my Spyder, Rowen drove his gray Lexus. It was
probably good that he was behind the wheel because every three seconds I checked my phone to make
sure I hadn’t missed a call or text.
Rowen took the long, winding cobblestone lane that led to Sloan’s place at top speed, which
vibrated my teeth together. The car zipped around the fountain that contained a statue of an elephant
with its trunk raised, and he parked near the front door, as close as he could get in the drive.
Every light blazed in and around the wide, two-story mansion, and even though it was nighttime,
the white wooden-shingle siding that led up to a peaked roof appeared crisp from all the extra
illumination. Dark balconies curved out from the bedrooms on the front, and I knew what those rooms
were used for because I’d stayed here with the guys. I also spent a lot of time at the mansion during
the day, since my main job was guarding Conall. Shadows crowded close and made everything
beyond the edge of the lawn inky and dangerous. Uneasiness tangled in my gut as I spotted three men
out on the grounds with flashlights. They seemed to be searching for something. . . or someone.
We bolted from the car and rushed up the steps, shoved open the front door, and then burst inside
the white marble entrance hall to find chaos. Every member of the security team appeared to be on
their phone. I was surprised to see Conall sitting in a black robe on the right side of the split
staircase. He looked like someone had died.
“What is everyone doing?” I asked, turning in a circle until I zeroed in on Conall’s dire
expression again. His full lips twisted into a serious frown and his deep blue eyes were too wide. I
went over and plopped down beside him. Rowen shook his head at me, but whatever.
“They’re calling around, trying to see if anyone has seen Lor and Vail.” Conall winced and ran a
finger over his red leather collar, almost like it calmed him down to mess with it, and the light from
the chandelier overhead sparkled on the buckle. A few strands of dark hair had slipped out of the bun
on the back of his head and brushed his cheeks.
“Any luck?” Rowen asked, crossing his arms.
Conall shook his head. “No. They left their last client for the day sometime after six o’clock.”
There was fear in his eyes and I hated it. I wanted to hug him, but Rowen seemed to understand how I
was feeling and shook his head again. I sighed and fucking despised all this, especially when
something awful began to churn in my belly.
“Surprised Sloan is mounting this sort of search,” Rowen said, glancing around at all the busy
men.
Conall sighed and gently tugged on his collar. “He likes Vail, but it’s not only Vail missing. Lor’s
gone, too. That’s scarier.”
“Aye, I get that,” Rowen said.
Confused, I tilted my head.
Rowen huffed. “Vail on his own might wander off and forget to let anyone know, but—”
“Lor wouldn’t,” I finished, finally getting it.
Conall nodded gravely. “It’s odd. And we’re going to find them.”
“Where’s the boss?” I asked.
“Right behind you, Mr. Maher.”
I shot to my feet and stood aside.
Sloan offered his hand to Conall, and he stood, cuddling up to the boss. Sloan always looked a
little grim, due to the scar that cut across his left eye, but tonight his usually cool exterior was tense.
Conall fixed the lapel on Sloan’s black suit and swept a caring glance to Sloan’s face. The boss’s
bleached blond hair was combed to the side in a style that made the brown roots stand out, and when
Conall was done messing with the boss’s suit, he slid his fingers up to comb them through the strands.
Sloan caught Conall’s hand and kissed it.
“Sorry, sir,” I said.
Sloan inclined his head. “Anyone have word?” He barely had to raise his voice and the room
went quiet. “Anything at all?”
No one answered, and Sloan sighed, waving his hand. Everyone went back to talking on their
phone. Conall gave us the most pitying look I’d ever had directed at me, and I’d been in the hospital
with serious injuries recently, so that was saying something.
“Let’s go into the city,” Rowen said, and I shot a look his way but couldn’t tell what he was
thinking. He was good at keeping cool. “There are people Vail or Lor might go chat with. We can
check in a few spots. Maybe the university? If someone needed help, they would likely hare off
without saying a word in the heat of the moment.”
Conall nodded and fiddled with the tie on his robe. “That’s a good idea.”
Sloan’s jaw tightened and he looked ready to murder, which I didn’t love. “If they’re not dead
when you find them, they’re in trouble. Lorcan was given specific instructions to let us know where
he was going before he left the grounds. I checked the garage personally, and his Audi is out there.
I’m not sure what could’ve happened.” He didn’t need to add that it pissed him off to be in the dark
because it was clear in the way his shoulders stiffened.
Conall gasped and patted Sloan’s arm. “Vail doesn’t drive, right?”
Rowen and I shook our heads.
“He can—” Rowen scrunched his nose. “—but he prefers not to do it. It’s safer for everyone that
way.”
“Pet, what are you thinking?” Sloan frowned at him.
 “You checked the garage for the Audi. Uh. . . .” He laughed and flashed the type of smile that had
Sloan scowling and his eyes narrowing. “You know, a couple of days ago Lor asked if he could take
my Lamborghini for a spin. Was it there?”
Sloan blinked and glanced around, looking lost. “But someone would’ve known if that car was
missing.”
“Not if Lor went when no one was in the garage. The keys are all right there. And would someone
really know if that car was off the grounds, or would they know if I was somewhere you didn’t think I
should be?” Conall stared at Sloan, who raised an eyebrow.
“I might have a way of locating the car.”
Conall narrowed his eyes at Sloan, and I wanted to laugh but bit the inside of my cheek. As brave
as I’d pretended to be with Rowen earlier, I knew better than to get involved in whatever bullshit
might be about to go down between them.
Sloan huffed. “It’s my right to know where you are at all times.”
Conall nodded and glared, and while I hadn’t ever seen him cause a scene in front of the men, I
could imagine all the sarcastic shit floating around in his head because he’d started talking more to
me. He wasn’t some shy little house husband to a mobster.
Sloan shrugged Conall’s look off and stepped away from us. I couldn’t tell what he was doing, but
it involved his phone and turning his back to us so he couldn’t see Conall trying to set him on fire with
his mind. When the boss turned around, he was composed, as usual.
“There is a very good reason I have that car trackable. It’s unique. If anyone cared to investigate,
they would know it was yours, pet.” He shook his head at Conall. “You should’ve never given them
permission to take it, and it has nothing to do with the price. You’re going to be—”
“Not right now,” Conall said softly. “You can tell me all about how you’re punishing me when
they’re home. I’m worried.” He touched his collar, and Sloan took Conall’s hand in his before kissing
across his knuckles.
Rowen and I glanced away when the boss hugged Conall. A couple of minutes went by while they
talked quietly together, and I awkwardly avoided looking at anything except the tips of my shoes.
“Go to the city.” Sloan’s voice startled me, and Rowen and I swung around to face him again.
“The car is in a parking garage right now. I’ll let you know if it’s on the move and update your team.
Go with them,” he said to the other men in the room, which at a quick head count was eight guys.
“Rowen’s in charge if there’s trouble.”
Most of the men were people who worked security around the house, and I wasn’t sure I liked
this, but Rowen was fast to say, “Thank ye, Boss. We’ll get them and bring Lor and the car back
here.”
Sloan nodded.
Everyone raced to their vehicles now that there was a plan, and the drive into the city was tense.
The headlights from the opposite lane hit Rowen’s stoic face every now and then, casting him
alternately in shadows and bright Technicolor. I wasn’t exactly a happy camper, but the closer we got
to the city lights and tall buildings, the farther Rowen hunched over the steering wheel until his teeth
were bared in a nasty snarl I’d never seen.
“Of all the stupid shite,” he ground out. “Taking the boss’s pet’s bloody fecking car.” He laughed
and shook his head. “But why can’t we get them on the phone?”
“It’s funny when you think about it,” I said, grinning.
He glared at me.
“Or not. I mean, it was irresponsible.” Coughing, I glanced out my window. “I would never do
anything like that.”
“Too bloody fecking right,” he grumped.
I smiled toward the window, but I was still worried. I jumped when my pocket vibrated and
dragged my phone out. I’d gotten a text with a new address. “Looks like the car’s parked near a diner
on 9th Avenue now. If I remember right, there should be street parking there.”
Rowen grumbled, and I had to laugh, since we were getting closer to finding them—I hoped. We
lucked into a spot because someone was pulling their truck out as we got close to the address, and
Rowen cursed under his breath the whole time. When we got out of the car, we could already see
some of the men who had come to the city with us standing near the door of West Wind Diner. The tan
brick building was only two stories and had old-fashioned white limestone masonry around the top,
and it was surrounded by apartment complexes that had at least twenty floors or more.
Rowen swiped his card on the meter beside his Lexus. The men seemed to be waiting for us, and I
nodded at them as we got closer. I recognized Allan, one of the guys who spent more time in the
kitchen talking with the girls than doing actual work. He was tall and fit, but he appeared
uncomfortable being out on a job. I hoped I never looked that bad.
“Are they in there?” Rowen asked.
“Yeah.” Allan turned and pointed at the wide glass window.
Lor and Vail were inside seated in a booth, both with pie in front of them and talking a mile a
minute. Their forks waved around and they were all smiles. Vail looked amazing, as usual. He
blushed and laughed at something Lor said, which made his handsome face glow. He nodded and his
dark blond hair flopped onto his forehead. I wished I knew what they were talking about. His pretty
brown eyes crinkled at the corners and his rosy lips pursed before he laughed again. Fuck, I loved his
mouth. Snorting, I elbowed Rowen, and he let out a small sound that was pure relief, then rushed
inside. I was hot on his heels.
“Ye scared the life out of us, ye beautiful dope.” Rowen slid in beside Vail, and the blue vinyl on
the seat squeaked as Rowen gave him a hug.
“Oh! Oh, Rowen, how did you get here? Hi, Fallon. You’re looking dashing tonight. I love that
shade of gray on you.” He enthusiastically squeezed Rowen back with a bright smile, and I stood a
little taller.
“I know it’s all you can do to keep your eyes off me.”
Vail laughed, clearly in one of his hyper good moods. “We just had the best time! Have you ever
heard of the Border Reivers and the songcatchers of the early 1900s?” He beamed at me over
Rowen’s shoulder, as if he thought maybe I had, so I felt bad when I shrugged. “Oh, Fallon! This is
great. We can order more pie. They have peanut butter pie. It’s delicious. Oh, wait, you shouldn’t be
eating pie. Burgers! They have good ones.”
“No, love, we can’t,” Rowen said softly as he sat back, and then he glared at Lor, who ducked his
head. I got the feeling he knew exactly why Rowen was pissed.
“Okay, so before anyone yells at me, Conall said we could borrow the car!” Lor did the big, sad
brown eyes thing even better than Vail, and I found myself silently willing Rowen to let it go. Lor had
a baby face that made him look extra innocent, despite his dyed-black hair with a white stripe in the
middle. The skeletons that danced between snowflakes across his thick, black winter sweater were
also adorable. Fuck, he was really cute tonight.
“Why weren’t either of you answering your phones?” I asked, all at once irritated. I liked Lor, and
I didn’t think Vail wanted to do anything with him beyond having a good friend, but his boyfriends
didn’t even get this much alone time with him most days. Fuck. Now that we knew Vail wasn’t in
trouble, jealousy nipped at me.
“Aye, that’s a bloody good question,” Rowen grumped.
“We were at MCU in the music hall.” Vail beamed at us. “We had our phones off to keep from
interrupting the string ensemble, and I guess I forgot to turn mine back on. There was an Appalachian
group there that played the most amazing music. It was positively haunting. And there’s so much rich
history there—”
“Vail, I was worried someone had stolen ye again,” Rowen said, then pecked a kiss on his lips
that turned into a short, sweet make-out session.
Lor gasped and slapped a hand over his mouth. “Sorry,” he mumbled behind his palm. “Sorry, I
didn’t turn my phone the whole way off, I just thought we were going to get yelled at about. . . .” He
bit his lip.
“The car?” Rowen snapped. “Ye didn’t answer the bloody phone because of the car?”
Lor slid down in his seat and set his fork aside.
“No,” I whispered as a sheen hit Vail’s eyes and a pair of tears tracked down his cheeks. “No, it’s
okay. Don’t.”
“I’m sorry. This was my fault.” Vail leaned into Rowen’s arms. “I forgot we were supposed to go
see the ensemble tonight, and I was going to ask if you wanted to go with me, both of you,” he said,
glancing up to include me. “But Lor reminded me after we were done tutoring that we were going to
the city, and then he said why don’t we—”
“Take Conall’s car,” Lor said, wincing. “I wanted to drive it, and he said I could. I thought it was
the perfect opportunity. It was my fault, Dr. Mifflin. Please don’t take the blame.”
“So, I was sidetracked and forgot to tell you I was leaving.”
Rowen wiped the tears off Vail’s face. I was glad he didn’t have the heart to yell at them because
I’d hated it when we’d fought earlier. I didn’t have the stomach for this when they both looked so
apologetic already. Even the tiny bit of jealousy still swirling in my chest disappeared.
And that story—sparing no details—was the exact one Vail and Lor told Sloan almost two hours
later as they stood in front of the boss’s glossy wooden desk in his office while looking mortified.
Conall sat on Sloan’s lap in a pair of black sleep pants that were sheer enough I could tell he
wasn’t wearing underwear. He had the cast on the lower part of his left arm propped on his knee.
Sloan rubbed his hand over Conall’s ass while Vail and Lor nervously rambled out exactly what
they’d told us.
“But I’m sorry, Sloan!” Vail sounded honest, probably because he never really lied, and he meant
every word. “I wouldn’t have intentionally worried everyone.”
“You,” Sloan said sternly, pointing at Lor, who crossed his arms and went green around the gills,
as if he was going to puke. “What made you think not telling anyone where you were going was
wise?”
“Well—” He glanced around. “—I know you told me I needed to let you or Conall know where I
was, but I did tell Conall this morning at breakfast I would be in the city tonight. Conall, you were
sitting on Sloan’s lap at the time. . . kind of like this. . . and your hand was busy behind your
back. . . .” Lor’s tone was perfectly level, but the smirk he wore was pure evil and more than
familiar. I glanced at Sloan and frowned.
Conall peeked up and stared at Lor, then slapped a hand over his mouth. He shot a look at Sloan
before clearing his throat. “I wasn’t really paying much attention to what you were saying, I guess. I
was preoccupied.” He snickered but bit it back.
Sloan’s face went red and he cleared his throat.
 No one talked for a solid, awkward minute before the boss sighed. “Pet, go to bed and get ready
for me.” He stood Conall up on his feet and waited for him to steady himself.
“Yes, Boss,” he said, giving Lor a sad smile on his way past.
Sloan stared after Conall until he closed the door as he left.
We all held our breath as the boss stood from his black leather chair and paced around the desk
closer to Lor. “This will never happen again. If you go anywhere during the evening, you will take at
least two of my men with you. They can find their own ways to occupy their time if you’re in a
situation like the one tonight, but they’ll see you to the door, and they’ll pick you up when you’re
done, and they’ll drive you.” Sloan smoothed his hands down his suit jacket. I had no clue if he was
including Vail in his orders or not because he was staring holes through Lor. After a second, I figured
he was only talking to Lor because Rowen took Vail’s hand. He already had four guys who wanted to
follow him around all the time, and if Vail was with Lor alone, they would both be covered by the
security.
“Why?” Vail asked. “We were fine.”
The boss only stared at Lor, barely blinking.
Lor patted Vail’s arm. “Uh, yes, I see we caused some concern tonight, but Conall really did say I
could drive his car!”
“You know he didn’t mean without telling him about it. And most likely not without him.” The
boss’s tone was so deadly quiet we all leaned closer to hear that last word.
Lor flushed and the smile he gave Sloan did look pretty guilty. Sloan stalked closer to him, and
Lor rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at his shoes.
“You will do as I say, Mr. O’Guinn.”
“I drove the Lamborghini back, Boss. There wasn’t a scratch on it. The engine purred like a
kitten. Really there wasn’t much harm done.” I did my best to use the old Maher charm, but the air
around Sloan was still ice and didn’t thaw a bit.
Rowen smacked me hard enough on the arm that it stung, and I shrugged.
Lor moaned. “I’m sorry. It was so fun.”
Sloan stalked to me, and my heart nearly popped out of my chest. “What were you doing with my
pet today, Mr. Maher?”
I nearly pissed myself when he leaned the slightest bit closer. His cologne smelled expensive and
good and, for a wild second, I wanted to ask him the name of it. “You were definitely yelling at Lor,”
I whispered. “You had some good points. Maybe you forgot to say a few things to him?” Sloan’s eyes
narrowed farther. “Not a thing. I did nothing.”
Vail chuckled and was shushed by someone, I thought maybe Lor.
“And that nothing will never occur again without my approval.” His eyebrows rose. “Conall’s
arm is still injured. It wouldn’t hurt for him to have some training, but I will be the one to decide
when it’s an acceptable risk. Is that understood? He has already been informed of the same thing, so
there will be consequences neither of you will enjoy if this is not the end of the matter.”
I nodded and a drop of sweat ran down my back in a rapidly cooling line. “Yes, Boss. Sorry,
Boss.”
Sloan leaned in until his nose nearly touched mine. “I know everything that occurs in this house.”
“I’m sorry again, Boss. I was careful. We were really, really careful. But—” I rushed to keep
speaking when his mouth opened again. “I hear you loud and clear. You were so clear you were
mountain top air and I listened with both ears.” I nervously cocked my hands behind my ears, and
there were definitely snickers from Vail and Lor this time. “I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.”
 Sloan’s lips twitched and I thought he was going to smile, but instead he cleared his throat and
didn’t waste any more time on us. He left us in his office without a backward glance. It was a harsh
dismissal, but at least he hadn’t shot anyone.
Rowen pointed at me and shook his head. His disappointment actually had me feeling bad.
“Don’t. Don’t say a word. Let’s just get Vail home.”
“What did you do with Conall today?” Vail asked, curiosity bright in his pretty brown eyes.
Rowen sighed and stared up at the ceiling, and all I could do was laugh.
2
 ROWEN SHAUGHNESSY

THE NEXT DAY, I STARED BETWEEN VAIL AND F ALLON WITH NARROWED EYES , AND THEY GRINNED AT
me in response. When Aspen and Cillian were here, I could handle them. It was three against two
then, but now I was on my own and it was a lot harder. I’d been too scared to talk to them yesterday
with an anger and fear I’d never felt before consuming me. They’d crawled in bed beside me late last
night, and I’d let them, but now that I was calmer this morning, I could finally speak with them. It was
nearly eleven, and I was going to make lunch soon, but first, we needed to have this discussion.
I had to take control of the situation.
“Enough,” I said gently but with a firmness I hated using. Aspen had warned me I needed to get
tougher to control them. I hadn’t believed him.
Until now.
I was in trouble, and Aspen and Cillian had only just left. The house felt different and strange. We
weren’t ourselves without the other two. Vail had become almost a walking zombie, his carelessness
increasing more than usual, while Fallon’s flirting had doubled. Then there was me, and I wasn’t
exactly in the right frame of mind, either. I’d spent most of my career beside Cillian and Aspen, and
not being there to have their backs was. . . paralyzing.
“We didn’t do anything.” Fallon gave me the most innocent smile he had in his arsenal, but I knew
him better than that. He was worse than Vail most of the time. His soft blond hair hung in waves
around his shoulders and his short stubble was as perfect as the rest of him, hiding a dimple in his
chin. His blue eyes sparkled with mischief, which was a regular thing for him.
“Ye.” I pointed at Fallon and his grin widened. “We’ve already had a discussion. Ye can leave.”
He didn’t go, though. He settled deeper into the orange leather couch and threw his arm around the
back of Vail, dragging Vail against his solid body. “Oh no. I am so listening to this lecture.”
I glared at him, and he laughed, and I should’ve known I didn’t have the power of Cillian or
Aspen. I didn’t want it, either. Nothing in me desired to be feared by Vail or Fallon. I wanted to take
care of them, even if I wasn’t in the frame of mind to accept. . . whatever this was with Fallon. I
placed my hands on my hips and stared down at them.
Vail pouted and his eyebrows dipped with unhappiness. I knew he didn’t enjoy being treated like
a child, and I respected that, but he’d done wrong. He was lucky he hadn’t been kidnapped or hurt
again. We’d been through too much to let something happen to him.
“Ye’re safe, Vail, but could ye imagine if something happened to ye while Aspen and Cillian were
away? They’d be angry and worried, and they would abandon Miami, and Sloan would kill them for
disobeying him. He wouldn’t have much of a choice. Do ye understand?”
 Vail glanced away from me, and with the furious scowl that settled on his beautiful features, it
was clear the move was purposeful, not wandering attention. His nose crinkled in irritation, tongue
poking the inside of his mouth. “I know.”
“No, ye don’t know, because if ye did, this wouldn’t’ve happened.” I groaned and rubbed my
hands over my face. Heart hurting, I fell to my knees in front of him. I wished he could see how much
he’d scared me.
“Don’t do that,” Vail said quietly, and I rested my hands on his thighs. He dropped his chin to his
chest and took a deep breath. “I’m not a kid, Rowen.”
The words went off like a bomb between us, and Fallon stiffened. None of us enjoyed stepping on
Vail’s toes in ways that reminded him of other people who’d hurt him. My shoulders slumped in
defeat. This was what I’d been afraid of. I shook my head as I moved to sit on the couch on his other
side and brought him against me. I kissed his temple. “I’m not trying to treat ye that way, angel. I love
ye very much. But ye scared me yesterday.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He stared at me from under his pretty long lashes. “And I’m embarrassed
about it. I swear I never meant to forget about my phone. It was an accident. It could’ve happened to
anyone.”
“Aye, it could, but with ye, it happens too often. Ye need to be more careful, Vail. I’m putting my
foot down on this.”
His gaze shot to my face.
“Yer ADHD coach will be coming to see ye again every week. No more excuses. He helped,
right?”
Vail nodded. “Yes, but—”
“No.” I cut him off, ignoring the sad pout he gave me. “We can easily afford to pay him, and
there’s no reason not to get ye anything that makes yer life easier. Anything at all. There are no more
buts.”
Fallon opened his mouth, clearly about to make a joke about a different kind of butt—I knew him
well—but I glared at him. He sat back, smart enough to keep his mouth shut.
“This isn’t about treating ye like a child, angel. This is about protecting ye. I need ye to pay more
attention to yerself and yer surroundings. So, ye’re gonna call yer coach and arrange sessions every
week, even twice a week if ye hafta. We’ll pay for the time that it takes to travel here and back home
along with the session. There will be no room for complaints. But I’m not hearing any more excuses
from ye. This can’t happen again.” I cupped his face and smoothed my thumb over his cheek. “I’m
sorry, angel.”
He smiled sadly and sighed, leaning into my touch. His brown eyes glittered with unshed tears. “I
promise I’ll call from now on. I won’t do it again. Or. . . I’ll try not to do it again.”
I honestly believed he would make a good attempt and that made me happy. Nodding, I smiled.
“Okay. Ye’ve been different, though, since the guys left.”
Vail sighed and picked at his trousers as if there was a thread, but there was nothing except
smooth cloth. His gaze jumped to Fallon and back to me. He clearly didn’t want to talk about his
issues, and I got it. I understood.
“Ye can call them whenever ye want, ye know? And if they can’t answer, they won’t. They’ll
always get back to ye.”
“I know.” The sense of emptiness in his words had my heart aching harder. I wanted to whisk
away all his pain and protect him however I could.
I sighed. “Go upstairs and call the guys. They’ll be missing ye. Just don’t mention what happened.
They don’t need to know about it.”
Vail jumped to his feet, clearly ready to escape any more lectures. He raised his eyebrows at
Fallon, but I shook my head.
“I want to talk to Fallon for a wee second,” I said.
Fallon winced and waved Vail off, and even though it looked like Vail wanted to argue, he nodded
and headed toward the stairs. I made sure he was gone before I slid in closer to Fallon, mouth pursed.
“When’s yer doctor’s appointment? I forgot to write it down.” I kept my voice stern. I hated that I
had to be overbearing, but I’d seen what Aspen meant by taking control of Fallon now. Given the
chance, he would fight everything that was for his health and well-being.
Fallon crossed his arms, but he continued to smile, almost like he wanted to be angry but couldn’t
bring himself to be. That was the story of Fallon’s life. If anyone had the right to be upset at the cards
he was dealt, it was the man in front of me. He’d been bullied by his family, shoved into a position
within a mob that he probably hadn’t wanted, and had been hurt one too many times on the job. At
least Aspen had found a way he could have some choices back again.
“Don’t fight me on this,” I pleaded calmly, the urge to protect him making me desperate. I didn’t
quite. . . know if I wanted to love him yet because I’d promised Vail that I would only ever be with
him. Not only that, but Fallon was an entirely different game altogether. It was one thing for me to
love a man while being Catholic, but to care for two? What would Father Shay say? “I will resort to
calling Aspen and telling him ye’ve been unreasonable.”
He snorted. “Tattletale.”
I smirked at him. “Cillian would agree with ye.”
His smile faltered and he sighed, dropping his arms. He thought for a moment, and when his grin
returned, it had me concerned. Fallon never smiled that way unless he was about to do and say
something very, very naughty.
“I’ll remind you of when my appointment is if you kiss me.”
I blinked, surprised. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of the request. In my head, he belonged to
Aspen and Vail, and in a strange way, he was Cillian’s, too. Not mine. I’d told him I was the kind of
guy to romance a man, and I thought he wanted that, too. The longer I spent around him, the more I
realized I cared about him.
Not loved, though. Not yet.
At first, I’d thought my fondness and interest were because he was Vail’s, but now I wasn’t so
sure. I’d been scared for him when he was in the hospital, and the nights when he was in an induced
coma I couldn’t sleep properly. I’d had nightmares about losing him. I never told anyone.
“Why?” I asked before I could stop myself. “Why do ye want me to kiss ye, Fallon?” I shifted in
closer to him and laid a hand on his upper arm. “Ye have Aspen and Vail and even Cillian. Why do ye
want me, too?”
“Because I like dick. Lots of it.” He flashed me a flirty smile, then licked his upper lip slowly as
his stare traveled down me and back up again. “I’ve blown you.”
“There’s a difference between sex and a relationship.” I cringed because Fallon hadn’t asked for
anything more than a kiss. He didn’t want me as his boyfriend, and I’d always been a one-man bloke.
I’d never wanted more than one person romantically in my life. “And I don’t make a habit of being
intimate with someone unless I’m dating them.” I held up my hand before he could retort with a smart-
arse comment. “What we have is not the same thing. It’s for Vail. He loves all of us.”
He shrugged. “A kiss is a kiss, Rowen. Vail wants us to get along and he means more than in
conversation.” He waggled his blond eyebrows. “What do you say?”
 I shook my head in exasperation, and he pouted, clearly thinking I was saying no to him. Grabbing
his arm in a tighter grip, I dragged him hard against me. He flailed, not expecting the jolting move,
and I gripped his chin and slammed my lips against his. He tasted sweet. He shouldn’t be eating
sugary shite with his diabetes.
I yanked away from him, guilt twisting in my stomach. A wave of emotions hit me immediately,
but the shame of doing something when I was with Vail was at the top of the list. Vail wouldn’t mind
because we were, essentially, in a large polyamorous relationship, but I did care. This wasn’t me.
Feck. This isn’t me.
He blinked at me with wide eyes.
“Check yer sugar levels,” I ordered, worry for him gnawing at me.
He pouted but scooted back, pulling up his shirt to look at his insulin pump. Next, he took out his
phone and swiped around until he had an app open. He hummed, then shrugged when he turned his
attention to me. “The pump is working. I don’t wear a continuous glucose monitor, but I would know
if something was going wonky because I would be feeling like crap. I’m fine.”
With Fallon, fine was not always what I would consider fine. I frowned at him when he grinned.
He shifted in closer again and laid his hands on my hips. His breath tickled my mouth.
“I liked that kiss.” His pink tongue swiped across his lips. “How about I give you a hummer,
too?”
“What?”
“A hummer.” He laughed and raised his fist to his mouth, mimicking a blowjob with his tongue in
his cheek. “It’s when you put your dick in—”
“Stop it,” I snapped, making him snicker harder. I glared.
He winked and turned his head. “Hey, Vail!” he shouted, loud enough to wake the dead. He took a
deep breath. “Do you mind if I give Rowen a hummer?”
“Fallon.” I gritted my teeth, blood rushing south, straight to my cock. My fingertips tingled at the
thought of getting Fallon on his knees and feeding him my dick, and it frustrated me because if I was
getting into this with him, I wanted to be different from Cillian. I wasn’t going to use him for sexual
favors, and I wanted to make sure we were on the same wavelength. Yet, I didn’t wait for Vail, did I?
What made Fallon different? Maybe I’d come to care about him in the time I’d been with Vail.
“No, but not right now.” Vail’s voice traveled down the stairs. “I’m talking to Aspen, and I want
to watch. Come say hi.”
Fallon groaned and grumbled as he hopped to his feet and headed toward the steps. He turned
back to me and pointed. “Don’t go anywhere. We’ll be back.”
I snorted and couldn’t help but grin. “Just go talk to Aspen. I’ll make us lunch.”
I followed him to the stairs to watch him, and he ran so fast up the steps that he nearly tripped on
one. Throwing an embarrassed smile over his shoulder, he laughed and continued to the top. I
watched him until he disappeared, an unexplainable warmth settling in my chest. It wasn’t that I loved
Fallon, but I did care a lot about him. He was one of us now, and I couldn’t imagine a life without him
in it. If Cillian heard my thoughts, he would tell me it was corny as feck, and that was why we were
so different. I lived for emotions, craved feelings, while Cillian ran from them like a scared child
would a monster.
I sighed, heading toward the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I pushed away all my ideas of Fallon and
focused on the task at hand—making lunch. I grabbed salad ingredients and placed them on the island.
Fallon hated eating healthy, since Cillian had him on a strict diet before he left, but he would have to
do better sooner rather than later with his diabetes. Like Vail with his ADHD, Fallon needed someone
to take care of him. They weren’t children, but Fallon had never had anyone look after him the way
we were. His family was a bunch of arseholes, and they weren’t as Catholic as they claimed. Even
Father Shay had some choice words to say about the ruler of the Maher clan; although, he said it a lot
nicer than I would.
My phone buzzed in my pocket as I began to chop lettuce, and I pulled it out to check it.

Eamon: You busy today?

I frowned at his weird question. Eamon didn’t make it a habit to visit us. We got along just fine,
but he was always hung up with Company business and his girlfriend. While Cillian and I handled the
nitty-gritty, Eamon was more of a paperwork man and skipped the dangerous parts, which I was
thankful for. I never wanted him to be gunned down.

Rowen: Spending time with Fallon and Vail. Why?

It didn’t take long before he responded.

Eamon: Can I call you?

I chose to call him instead. He answered after a few rings.

“Hey.” Eamon’s cheerful voice had me suspicious. He sounded too happy.
“What are ye up to?” I asked, and he laughed, clearly amused by my obvious apprehension. I liked
the relationship I had with Eamon, though. Unlike with Cillian, there was no tension.
“I just wanted to talk. Is that so bad?”
Holding the phone between my shoulder and ear, I grabbed a knife and continued with my slicing
as I stuck ingredients into the salad bowl, including green onion, crispy bacon, and a carrot. “Aye. Ye
only call when ye want something. So, what is it?”
“Aw, gobshite.” His laughter grew louder. “Ain’t I allowed to talk to ye anymore?”
“Téigh trasna ort féin.” I mentally applauded myself as I began to chop two ripe tomatoes. I
sliced too closely to my finger at one point, nearly taking the tip off, and I winced, forcing myself to
pay better attention. His chuckles turned into gasps of pain because the laughter became too much. I
grinned, shaking my head. It wasn’t often we spoke Gaelic, or the little of it we knew, but that was
one saying Daideó Jack had loved teaching us. The first time we’d used it in front of Cillian’s ma,
she’d clipped Cillian and me over the ears and dragged us to church.
“Aren’t ye a man of God, Rowen? A good bloke like ye shouldn’t tell me to go feck meself,
should ye?” He could barely get his words out, and I snickered.
“A good man like me wouldn’t be putting up with a bloke like ye, would I?” I threw the tomatoes
into the bowl alongside the ingredients I’d already added.
“What would Ma say if she heard ye telling me that?”
“I didn’t say it to ye in English, did I? No one can confirm I said it.” I grabbed a tea towel and
wiped my hands. “It’s between me, ye, and God now.”
“Droch áird chúgat lá gaoithe.”
May you be badly positioned on a windy day. I grunted out a laugh. When we were kids, Cillian,
Eamon, and I learned every fun Gaelic curse we could. Daideó Jack was happy to teach us, and the
ones he chose were ridiculous, but whenever we were feeling mischievous, we would have what
we’d called a curse off. We would throw the Gaelic words at each other until the other person finally
ran out of things to say. It’d been fun. Easy. We were kids, innocent and free once, before all the mess
with Cillian’s da.
“I’m not doing this with ye, Eamon.” I smiled anyway.
“Ye admit defeat then, do ye?”
I wished it was this simple with Cillian. I’d never told him, but I missed how we used to be when
we were younger. “Aye, I admit defeat. Why did ye want to speak with me?”
The line went silent for a short second, and then he sighed. “I just wanted ye to know I’m going on
holiday for a week or so.”
I froze, muscles rigid. Gritting my teeth, I breathed slowly through my nose.
Was he going back to Ireland? I sure hoped not. I’d told Eamon about what had happened with his
da and Cillian, and he’d promised me he was cutting ties with them, same as I had. Hell, I’d even told
his da why I was done with him on the phone after Cillian had told me the truth, and his da had stuck
to his guns, claiming any sort of homosexuality was a sin. Admittedly, I’d been a coward and never
said a word about myself, but I’d told him I would no longer be sending money. He didn’t care. Even
though it should’ve gone to Cillian to begin with, I’d given the old man’s watch—the same one he’d
given me before I left Dundalk—to Eamon.
“Are ye going to Ireland and seeing them?” I asked, staring down at the salad in the bowl. My gut
churned.
“No.” The way his voice rose had my suspicion sparking.
“Where are ye going then?” I gritted my teeth. “I told ye what yer da did to Cillian. Kicked him
out after he found out he was bi. How can ye forgive that? Ye were angry when I told ye about it.”
“I’m not forgiving him, am I? I’m not going to Ireland.” He exhaled, and I heard someone behind
him, probably his girlfriend, Mairead. They whispered quietly so I couldn’t hear them, and finally he
talked into the phone again. “We’re going home to see Mai’s family, Rowen. Ye know they moved up
to Scotland. We’re. . . feck. We’re having a bairn.”
Shock jolted me into stepping back until I hit the fridge and my breath caught. A chaos of emotions
—mostly excitement and surprise—warred inside me, and all I could do was grin even though he
couldn’t see it. “Ye having a baby?”
Eamon chuckled and I thought I heard him sniffle. “Aye, I’m gonna be a da.”
“Feck off.” I laughed so hard it hurt my chest and grinned wide. “Congrats, ye knob. When did ye
find out?”
“A month ago, but Mai only just passed her twelve-week mark, and we didn’t want to jinx it, ye
know?”
“Does Cillian know?” I asked.
I definitely heard Mairead laughing in the background, and he joined in with her. “Ye think I’d tell
him first? He’d tell me I’d gone bonkers having a baby. Ye know what he thinks about kids. What’s he
say?”
“All they do is eat and shite.” I shook my head. We’d heard it more than once from Cillian. He’d
never been a fan of babies, or children of any age for that matter.
“Exactly. He would give me hell for it.”
“Don’t ye worry about him. He loves ye, and he’ll be happy for ye. We need some new
Shaughnessys around here, and ye’re the only one to give us them. We wouldn’t want Cillian
reproducing anyway, would we?”
“God help America if that happened. We’d be fecking doomed.”
We both cackled, and by the time I was done, tears welled in my eyes and I wiped at them. I
sighed. “I’m happy for ye, Eamon. Ye and Mairead deserve all the best.”
 “Thank ye. It means a lot to us.” He exhaled loudly. “I need to go. Start packing and all that. But I
wanted ye to know where I was going. If Da finds out I’m over that way and contacts me, I’ll tell him
what I think about him, all right?”
“Ye better.” I smiled and straightened, shifting back to the island. “Talk to ye later.”
“Bye.”
I plopped the phone down on the counter and stared at it for a long moment. A baby. It almost
seemed surreal. I never thought the day would come, but I was excited by the prospect. I liked kids,
always imagined myself as a father one day, but I lived a dangerous life. It was better to be an uncle
than a parent, I supposed.
I went back to the salad, adding hard-boiled eggs, cucumbers, oil, and vinegar before mixing it
up. I opened the drawer next to me and grabbed a fork, then stabbed some of the food to take a bite.
Moaning, I ate another mouthful. Delicious and healthy. That was exactly what Fallon needed.
I headed out of the kitchen, through the dining room, and kept going to the bottom of the stairs.
“Hey, lunch is ready. Come get it.”
I faintly heard Fallon tell Aspen that I was calling for them, and I rolled my eyes and went back
into the kitchen to dish out food on three different plates. By the time Fallon and Vail made their way
down to me, they were chuckling and nudging each other. Vail hummed in delight when I passed him
one of the plates, and he thanked me before nearly skipping his way through the door to the formal
dining room.
Fallon, on the other hand, frowned. “What is that? I’m not a fucking rabbit, Rowen. I don’t need to
eat that much green stuff. Cillian isn’t here right now! Who knows when I’ll get to eat what I want
again? Once he gets home, I’m done for.” He pouted in my direction.
“That wee green stuff, as ye call it, is gonna keep ye healthy.” I grabbed another plate and shoved
it at him, and he took it with a sour twist of his lips. “Eat up.”
“Or what?” He flashed a naughty smile. “Aspen and Cillian would spank me. What are you going
to do?”
I raised my eyebrows at him. “There are other punishments that aren’t physical. Ye don’t want to
find out what mine are.” I grabbed a fork off the island and passed it to him. “So, ye’re gonna eat that
salad, and while ye do, ye’re gonna remind me of when yer doc’s appointment is.”
“That sounds like a terrible deal.” He shrugged and walked through the door into the formal
dining room.
I grabbed my plate and followed him. When I got into the room, Vail was sitting at the oval table,
wrinkling the soft pink tablecloth with his elbows, and Fallon was on his right. The room was one of
my favorites, mostly because I’d designed it, with a light blue, pink, and white theme. The chairs had
sky blue material on the seats while the walls were half textured pink paint on the top and white
panels on the bottom. Hanging from the ceiling above Vail and Fallon was a pendant-bar light with
frosted globes.
I took the seat on Vail’s left, plopping into the chair and setting my food on the table. I was aware
of Fallon’s gaze on me, and I tilted my chin to smile at him.
“All right. Fess up. When is yer doctor’s appointment?”
Vail’s attention jumped to me and he cocked his head. “What appointment?”
“It seems our little tater tot, here, didn’t show up for his last doctor visit.”
“Did you just call me a tater tot?” Fallon’s fork clattered onto his plate.
Vail slapped a hand over his mouth, hiding laughter behind it. When Fallon gave him an
incredulous stare, he shrugged. “It fits. You’re like a tater tot. Hard on the outside, and squishy and
delicious on the inside.”
“I’d rather you call me Hercules. He was blond and I’m like a god. I’ve got the body for it.” As if
to prove a point, Fallon stood and raised his shirt up to his chest, slapping his flat belly. “Fucking
godlike.”
I stared at him without an ounce of emotion, though my gaze wanted to stray to the abs that he so
proudly showed us. “Stop changing the topic. When is it, tater tot?”
Vail’s face morphed into amusement and he laughed so hard he shook the table. He pressed his
fingers to his eyes, as though trying to stop tears from rolling down his cheeks, and all I could do was
smile at him.
Fallon looked unimpressed by the new nickname and plopped back on the chair with a huff. “Fine,
it’s on Monday at eleven.”
I nodded, happy he’d finally told me. “Be ready a few hours before. I’m taking ye.”
“I don’t need you to—”
“Don’t argue with me.” I pointed at him. “Remember what I said about punishments.”
“You don’t punish,” Vail said, after shoving a healthy amount of salad into his mouth. He chewed
carefully, then swallowed. “Why is he being punished? You aren’t going to flog him like they did in
medieval times, are you? I can tell you about the things they used to do to each other. It was so cruel.”
“He’s picking on me, Vail.” Fallon flopped his head to the side and laid it on Vail’s shoulder,
pouting up at him. “He’s so much meaner than Aspen and Cillian.”
Vail chuckled and petted Fallon’s chin. “I don’t believe that. Rowen’s so sweet.” He winked at
me, and I grinned.
“So sweet,” I agreed, grabbing a forkful of salad and shoving it into my mouth. The mixture of
ingredients was perfect, and the flavors burst on my taste buds. I wasn’t sure what Fallon was in an
uproar about because the meal was delicious. “I go to church.” The mention of my religion made guilt
churn in my stomach again.
“A church man who murders,” Fallon grumbled but winked at me anyway.
“Eat up, little rabbit.” I waved my fork at him.
“First it’s tater tot, now it’s rabbit.” He straightened and crossed his arms.
“Ye were the one who said a wee rabbit earlier.”
“I said I wasn’t a rabbit and didn’t need to eat this green stuff.” He gestured toward the salad on
his plate. “Where’s the pizza and fries? I need fat to survive.”
“It’s in there. I made sure to add bacon.”
“I see two pieces of bacon.” It turned out Fallon was the master of making his bottom lip pop in a
very appealing way.
“Enough arguing.” I firmed up my voice and pressed my mouth together. “Eat yer food. I mean it.
We are not gonna have another diabetes incident, so ye’re gonna keep yer mouth shut, and eat, or so
help me God, I will force feed ye.”
“Listen, do you want me to keep my mouth shut or eat?” He waggled his eyebrows in my
direction, and I glared. “Plus, that sounds kinky.” He smirked, and I snorted, shaking my head.
“Though, this food isn’t. Couldn’t you have at least gone with strawberries and chocolate? Now
that’s sexy.” He glanced at Vail and perused his body slowly. At first, Vail didn’t notice, but when he
did, his cheeks blushed a deep red and he shoved Fallon lightly.
“Stop,” Vail said with a laugh.
“I’m imagining that you taste great with chocolate and strawberries,” Fallon murmured, then
grabbed Vail’s hand and kissed the back. He hummed in appreciation. “You taste delicious now.”
 “You’re such a flirt.” Vail rolled his eyes, but the blush still burning bright on his face spread
down his neck and up to the tips of his ears.
I had to agree with Fallon this time, though. The image of covering Vail with chocolate, then
eating strawberries off him, had my cock hard. I slipped a hand under the table to rub myself, and as if
he could smell it, Fallon’s head whipped in my direction. His mouth curved, pink lips full and teasing
as his tongue slid across them. He dropped his fork as he grabbed the edge of the table, then slid
under it.
I stiffened, not quite sure what to do. The part of me that was all about commitment wanted to
jump and move away. Other than the fact that I’d specifically told Fallon I wanted to take this slow,
there was nothing romantic or sweet about what he was going to do under the table, and I wasn’t
about to turn into Cillian in that regard. And yet, the sinful part of me wanted his mouth on my cock,
which created a war between guilt and need inside me.
Vail gasped quietly and grinned at me. He knew what was going to happen, and so did I, and
while every instinct in me shouted to put a stop to it, I couldn’t. I didn’t want to do anything
differently because of not only how Vail was staring at me—with enough hot lust to melt steel—but
because the weight of Fallon’s hands felt good on my knees.
Finally giving in to the immorality, I slid my chair back a little so Vail could see, and Fallon
followed me, gliding his hands up my thighs and toward my belt. It was impossible to tear my gaze
away from him and the way his blue irises gleamed. He walked his fingers up to the waistband of my
trousers, then unbuttoned and unzipped them. With an eyebrow waggle, he tugged the sides. I lifted my
hips and let him pull the trousers, along with my underwear, down to my knees, freeing my half-hard
cock.
Fallon hesitated, and something unexpected swept across his face. He sent me a shy smile as he
wrapped his fingers around me, and I inhaled, watching him work my foreskin over the head and back
again. He stared down at my cock like he hadn’t seen it before, and I stayed still because this was his
show. For now, I would give in to the sin and lose myself in the feel of him.
The guilt could wait until later.
Maybe this was okay because Vail was sitting at my side. Speaking of my gentle devil, I glanced
at Vail and smiled because he’d dragged his chair closer, his palm rubbing his crotch lazily. His dark
blond locks fell across his eyes and he dragged his hand through his hair, shoving it back. Eyelids half
closed in desire, his attention was pointedly on Fallon and what he was doing with my cock. Vail was
scattered on a good day, but I’d never seen a man who could zero in on sex so quickly.
Fallon’s hands were warm, his fingers long and thin, and he gripped me with a confidence I didn’t
expect. He was brilliant when it came to MMA fighting, but he’d lacked the conviction needed in
other areas of the business. Sometimes it felt like he was the same way when it came to sex, at least,
when he was close to me, but this time was different.
This time he was in charge.
He kept his gaze glued to mine and took the head of my cock between his lips, sucking gently at
first, before he slid more of my length inside. His hand stayed at the base, holding me toward himself
as he began to bob his head. His tongue was silky hot, his mouth a warm cavern that drew my
sensitive shaft in deep. I knew damned well I should’ve put a stop to it after all I’d been saying to him
about getting to know each other, but in my head, Vail staring at us changed things a bit.
He wanted to see this, and what he wanted, he got.
But the truth was that I’d begun to think of Fallon differently over the last few months, too. He’d
grown more attractive to me, and I wanted to take him out like I did Vail. I needed to be the pleasure
that offset Aspen’s and Cillian’s pain. They were rough with Fallon, and even if he could easily take
what they dished out, Fallon deserved to be romanced and loved.
He was special to us. To me.
I smoothed my hand through his satiny, shoulder-length hair and sighed, closing my eyes and
focusing on the feel of his mouth on my cock. My nerves buzzed and pleasure simmered low in my
stomach. My balls were already heavy and I wanted to explode into his mouth so badly. When I
opened my eyes again, my gaze caught his, and he blinked softly, almost as though asking me if I was
enjoying him sliding my cock in and out of his mouth.
“Look at ye,” I murmured, smiling gently at him. “Pretty tater tot. Ye’re so fecking beautiful.”
I didn’t focus too much on my own words. They weren’t lies.
He made a noise around my cock, slapping his hand against my thigh hard enough to hurt, and Vail
laughed. Fallon popped his mouth off and glared. “You’re lucky I didn’t decide to bite off your dick.”
I stroked my thumb down his cheek, and he moaned. “Ye like it too much. Now put that pretty wee
mouth to a more useful task.”
He did exactly as I’d ordered, taking my cock back between his lips and sucking eagerly. From
the corner of my eye, I saw Vail pull out his erection, jerking off in time with Fallon’s bobbing. If I
hadn’t been so into this, I would’ve admonished him for doing it at the dining room table. Right now, I
didn’t care. I wanted to see him come undone while I fucked into Fallon’s mouth.
I grabbed Fallon’s face and began to thrust. He stilled, allowing me to take over. It wouldn’t be
long before I was close to the cliff, and I wanted to paint cum on his tongue. I wanted him to taste it
all.
Cursing, sweat began to bead at my temples, and a quick glance down at Fallon showed he was
stroking himself, too. The thought of us all coming together was too much. I clutched his hair, which I
tugged hard.
Fallon whimpered around my cock and stroked his own faster. He stiffened and cum shot from his
slit, covering the knees of his jeans. I wasn’t far behind him. A few more seconds was all it took
before the pressure in my balls released. Pleasure shot through me, and my cock jerked against his
tongue, cum jetting down his throat. I groaned and trembled through my release, and to my right, Vail
was already wiping his hands on a cloth napkin. I hadn’t heard his orgasm.
I collapsed on my chair as Fallon released my cock, wiping at his mouth with the back of his
hand. He grinned up, flashing white teeth.
“How was that for a tater tot?”
Vail laughed lazily, and I shook my head, pointing at Fallon. “Doesn’t change a thing. Ye’re still
eating healthy food and going to the doctor.”
The shame of what I’d done began niggling. Was this slow? No. Feck. Everything felt. . . off. I
didn’t like the way Aspen’s and Cillian’s absence made me feel. There was a kind of urgency now, as
though going to war with the Cartel had created a live or die sensation I neither craved nor cared for.
“You’re such a mom,” he grumbled.
I flicked him on the ear for that, and Vail laughed loudly. This was nice, even if Vail had scared us
yesterday and Fallon had dismissed his appointment. I would be lying if I said I didn’t like spending
time with them alone. With Cillian around, it was all about sex, sex, sex. While Fallon had just given
me a blowjob, there was still a softness between the three of us that wasn’t present with Cillian.
He was too intense.
“So—” Fallon glanced between us. “—where are we going tonight? I want to get smashed.”
I groaned and rubbed my hands over my face. Maybe I needed to tire him out because I sure as
hell wasn’t doing well at controlling him.
3
 FALLON

THE CRACK OF THE BRILLIANT RED S KEE-BALL AS IT SMACKED THE GRAY PLASTIC AT THE TOP OF THE
backstop and dropped to the lowest rung—a measly ten points—had Vail’s cheeks puffing up. He was
never mean, so he struggled not to make fun of me. First his face blushed a sweet pink, then his eyes
watered. After a valiant effort, he ended up gasping and snorting out a laugh.
“You’re terrible at this!” he said, loud enough to be heard over the other people talking at top
volume in the bar. Fueled by alcohol, the men in suits at the table nearest ours were practically
shouting a discussion about a boat one of them wanted to buy. They’d nearly convinced me it was the
investment of a lifetime, and I didn’t even like the water that much. To my left an electronic dartboard
blared as two women dressed in rainbow skirts put in quarters to start the game. Jay Z’s “Hard Knock
Life” blasted from the sound system. My ears almost ached with all the noise.
“I got the looks, so it’s only fair I’m not great at everything.” I flashed Vail a smile and did an
awkward shuffle that had him and Rowen shaking their heads and grinning. Rowen had been a good
sport and agreed to come out tonight after giving us hell about all our life choices earlier, and I was
glad. The three of us needed to unwind—together.
Rowen tugged on the collar of his green long-sleeved shirt and tipped back his mug while
surveying the dim barroom. He smacked his lips as he lowered the mug. “I didn’t know a pub without
a fried seafood menu existed in the Hamptons.”
I snorted and pushed his shoulder. “Are you happy or sad about that?”
“Neither, just didn’t know.” He winked at me.
Vail gulped the last of his beer as the Skee-Ball game made a sad honking noise at me. My turn
was over.
“Hey, where are my tickets!” I glared at the dispenser attached to the game. Leaning down, I
poked at the slot.
“You don’t get any when you lose,” Vail said, then cackled. If I didn’t love him so much, I would
say he was being a tiny bit of a jerk, but he was cute, so I didn’t care too much. He handed me his
mug, and I took a few steps and set it on the scratched round table that we’d claimed for the night.
Rowen examined his mug, and his cheeks flushed brighter than I’d ever seen them. “Me darlings, I
hafta say, I’m not at all certain these are clean.” He scowled. “Aren’t there regulations about this type
of shite?”
“Eh, the alcohol kills the germs.” I winked at him.
“Not enough in beer for that,” he said, but he took another sip with a shrug.
“You said you wanted to have a date night with me and Vail, if we were going out, and this is
where we planned to go before we knew you were coming along.” I knocked my shoulder against his.
“What? Aren’t you. . . up for it?” I took my life into my hands and tickled my fingers across his belly.
The soft fabric of the shirt stretched over his hard muscles made me want to linger too long for this to
be a joke, and he slapped his palm over my hand as I slid it lower.
He sighed and rolled his eyes, but his grin made my stomach warm. The combined essence of
Rowen’s cologne and Vail’s natural, sweeter scent had my body heating more than was safe in public.
Vail danced around beside me as he put money in the game, then picked up his ball. It was a thing of
beauty to watch him take aim and sink his first fifty pointer in the finicky, hard to reach top hole.
“Why do ye like to come here so much?” Rowen slipped his hand around my side and caressed
upward, something he wouldn’t have done so easily even a few days ago. I would blame the alcohol,
but he seemed to loosen up toward me after my very fun trip under the dining room table earlier.
Putting a guy’s dick in your mouth made him a little friendlier, but maybe it wasn’t just that I’d made
him blow his wad. I didn’t really know. His eyes, more gray than blue in the low lighting, appeared to
be stuck on me.
“Just watch,” I said with a laugh, turning to stare at Vail. He knew I loved to look at his ass in suit
pants, so he’d worn the brown ones that did incredible things for his body, even though it made him
stand out like a sore thumb in the dive bar. I was starting to have a very serious hard-on for his bow
ties, especially this red one, and he took a lot of pleasure in giving me what I wanted. “I discovered
this skill of Vail’s the first time we came here.”
Vail smirked—which was unusual—and took aim while bending far enough forward that his
delicious ass stuck out toward me, and with a small hip wriggle, he landed another fifty pointer.
Rowen grunted as if he was impressed, and I laughed.
“I need a kiss for luck!” Vail declared, and he came over and sucked on my bottom lip. The
pressure of his soft mouth on mine got to me fast. I groaned and licked my tongue against the teasing
tip of his, but before I could attack and devour him, he pulled back and moved on to Rowen. They
shared a sweet smile that made my belly even warmer, then Vail’s mouth was on Rowen’s.
They clung together for a while, making out, and then Vail went back over to play the next ball in
his game while Rowen blinked as if he was in a daze. I couldn’t help but notice the semi that had
pushed out the front of his jeans. My fingers tingled with the urge to rub it. I liked sex a lot, but I
almost enjoyed the confused expression on Rowen’s face more, and I wanted to keep it there. I could
imagine the way his bulge would twitch under my fingers and beg me to keep playing with it. My
belly clenched as I became ridiculously aware of my dick stuck in my jeans. I wasn’t embarrassing
myself yet, but it wouldn’t take much.
“I’m up now,” Rowen said with a happy sigh, and I snickered. Rowen’s mouth fell open as Vail
sank the remaining seven balls into the fifty-point hole. He whooped and jumped up and down in
victory while a happy pink light flashed on top of the game. A cheer went up from the people around
us who noticed Vail’s perfect score, and he took a bow. The guys at the game next to his gave him
high-fives.
Rowen winked at me. “We’ve got a champion on our hands. This is why ye come here. Vail has a
good time.”
I tickled my fingers against the back of Rowen’s hand, and he snatched mine in a light grip I didn’t
want to escape. My chest felt warm and excitement twisted up my insides as he tilted his head and
studied me.
“Well, yeah. We don’t go to boring places everyone hates.” I shrugged.
“How did ye learn to be so good at such a silly game,” he called to Vail, which made him swing
around to walk back over to us. Rowen and I parted to allow him to stand between us, and he hooked
one arm in the crook of Rowen’s elbow and the other around my waist.
“I love arcades! Until I don’t. Sometimes they overwhelm me and sometimes I never want to
leave.” He shrugged. “I used to sneak off to the arcade near my house when I was over my mom’s
million-and-one preplanned and preapproved activities. She had a personal vendetta against free
time. In a lot of ways, she’s still like that. That’s why she thrives in high-stress jobs. Anyway, the
arcade was my secret or I never would’ve had a place to hide. Well, other than the bathroom. I did
spend a lot of quality time in there, too.” He wriggled his hand.
My face blazed hot as Vail flashed his pretty smile in my direction and my dick definitely took
notice. “You don’t have to hide from anything with me and Rowen here.”
Vail wrapped both arms around my waist to give me a tight hug. “You’ll keep me safe?” I doubted
Rowen heard him, but when Vail glanced his way, Rowen nodded anyway. I couldn’t blame him.
Vail’s brown eyes sparkled and his mouth, which was always beautiful with his full rosy lips, was
curled in a small, sexy smile. I snorted. Rowen would give Vail the moon if he thought that was what
Vail wanted, and at this point? I would help.
I rested my forehead against Vail’s. “Hey.”
“Hello, there, Mr. Maher,” he said and chuckled. He wriggled his hips against mine and tingles
flared in my belly. I massaged his lower back, and he let out a wonderful sigh and brushed his lips to
mine. Rowen shifted and bumped me. When I glanced his way, I decided the nudge was an accident
because he was studying the bottom of his empty mug.
“Rowen, you look lonely.” I tugged him closer.
Vail nodded in agreement. “Yes, it’s terrible. Come join us.”
Rowen flushed. “Ye two are pretty. I never mind watching.” Rowen hadn’t really said anything
much like that to me, though I knew all the guys sometimes had a jerk-off party while Vail fucked me
or vice versa. We’d probably all played Tug’n’Spray while watching someone else plow Vail
because it was fucking hot; although, I’d done less of that since Aspen and I had gotten closer.
With the way I was starting to be so curious about everything Rowen did, I decided to grow a set
of balls. He’d made it clear that he only wanted me if we were more than fuck buddies. I loved Vail
and how he made me feel so cared for, and I loved the relationship I had with Aspen and how he
protected me. Rowen was different, but that was fine. I hadn’t quite figured out who he was as a
person, because even though he was more approachable than everyone else, in a strange way he was
harder for me to get to know. I wanted to see where it all went. Maybe we would only ever be
friendly and occasionally sexy with each other while Vail was around, but. . . I felt like there could be
more.
“This isn’t a spectator sport, pal,” I said, laying on my thickest Brooklyn accent. He chuckled,
which was exactly what I’d wanted.
Rowen leaned in and pressed a kiss to Vail’s cheek, and I felt too hot when he planted one on
mine. A furrow wrinkled his brow, like maybe he wasn’t sure about this. I stole Rowen’s empty mug
to put it on the table, and in that amount of time he managed to get both hands on Vail’s perky, rounded
ass and squeeze it. Watching his fingers create indents on the muscled perfection under Vail’s suit
pants hit me just right to have me wishing we were at home, or at least, not standing in a room full of
people. My dick pushed at the front of my jeans, and I gasped as a knot of tension twisted in my groin.
The alcohol and gentle touches from Vail—and sometimes Rowen—had flowed freely for the last
hour, and I was so down to fuck.
Rowen and Vail kissed, and I respected that Rowen didn’t give a shit where they were. Out of all
of us, he was probably the most conscientious of other people being in the area when we started
touching each other, but he was lost in Vail’s sweetness—an addiction I also happened to have. I
finished my beer and stood awkwardly near the table, watching them, not sure what I should do—if
anything. I’d gotten used to having Aspen around and not being truly left out when someone else was
getting busy with Vail. Hell, half the time I was touching one or the other of them when they were near
me. I hadn’t realized how freeing it was to lose that last little line of hesitation with Aspen until he
wasn’t here. For a minute I was as morose as Vail had been the first week Cillian and Aspen were
gone.
For the first time in a long while I was fucking lonely.
I’d been fine until now. My heart ached and I missed Aspen. . . and Cillian.
Cillian wouldn’t have gotten all kissy and cuddly with me, but he might’ve pinched my ass or
whispered about how he was going to pin me down and fuck me when we got back. I was feeling like
a sad sack when Vail startled me by grabbing my hand. He and Rowen had somehow made their way
to the table while I was spaced out feeling miserable, and Vail dragged me over to stand directly in
front of Rowen, then kissed my neck in a way that always got me going. His breath tickled just right
and electric sparks raced through my stomach.
“Hi,” I whispered to Rowen.
He grinned and tilted my chin up. “Vail said ye looked lonesome.”
My heart squeezed as he settled his lips on mine. The kiss wasn’t frantic the way things
sometimes got when sex was immediately on the table. Rowen took his time and licked my bottom lip,
then the top one, before sliding into my mouth and dancing his tongue with mine. I moaned and leaned
against his front.
“Oh, hello!” Vail said to someone, and immediately Rowen and I tensed. This was New York, and
I hadn’t run into very many people who would start shit in public over two guys kissing, but we’d all
been fucking around together. I braced myself to use my fists if necessary. A big man with a shaved
head, covered in tattoos from the neck down, stood beside our table.
“Back off, buddy,” I snapped and pointed at the dude.
Rowen grunted, giving me an impressed look.
Vail only laughed.
The man sighed and held up the pitcher of beer he carried. “Your friend had a perfect game, so he
won a round for the table.” The guy slammed down the pitcher, then went over and poked at a button
on the side of the Skee-Ball machine. The pink light on top stopped flashing.
Vail chuckled. “You forgot about that?”
“Yeah.” I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling sheepish. “Rowen distracted me.”
“Hey now!” Rowen nudged my shoulder, and I chuckled.
Vail hummed and slid around to cuddle up against my back. “That was very brave of you to stand
up for all of us.” The apple scent of his favorite shampoo tangled in my nose. His hair was slightly
damp from sweating while he’d played, and I wanted to bury my face against it. He kissed my ear,
and my eyes nearly rolled back into my head. I’d been wired and ready for more since I’d blown
Rowen earlier.
“You’re teasing me,” I said, angling my head to the side so Vail could kiss down my neck.
“Not at all. It’s all well and good to bluster when ye’re armed to the teeth and have a hundred men
at yer back, but ye do it with nothing. Ye’re either very brave or. . . . Ye know what, that’s what it is.
Ye’re brave.” Rowen cleared his throat and furrowed his brow.
“Brave or very stupid,” Vail said absently before he sucked a kiss on my neck.
 Rowen sighed.
I had to laugh, even though I was the butt of the joke he hadn’t wanted to tell.
“I care about Vail. And you.”
Vail nipped at my neck playfully, and I hissed. “Don’t I get kudos for winning a perfect game? I
provided our next round of beer.”
Laughing, I turned my head to snag Vail’s lips in a kiss. We broke apart to refill our mugs.
Rowen sighed. “Guess I’ll try the bloody game.”
Vail nodded in encouragement and his eyes sparkled. “You can do it, Rowen!”
We ended up staying far longer than any of us meant to because it turned out Rowen wasn’t half
bad, but he was determined to get a perfect game. He was more competitive than I’d realized, and it
was almost two in the morning before he admitted defeat and we all took stock and realized none of
us should drive home. Vail was terrifying behind the wheel when he was stone-cold sober. I’d found
that out the hard way. He stayed on the road just fine but had absolutely no sense of direction and
froze up in bad traffic. Before Rowen and I could stop him, Vail texted the man who had been driving
him around when he tutored.
“Oh no, they’re gonna think I can’t hold me alcohol!” Rowen shouted over the noise of the bar,
which had only gotten more obnoxious as the night dragged on.
“It’s okay. You can hold your alcohol,” I said, poking his side. “I’m the one who has pissed ten
times since we started drinking.” He growled and chased me all the way out of the bar while Vail
waved goodbye to people he’d met during the night and followed after us.
“Goodbye, Wilbur!” he called cheerfully to the bartender who had brought out his free pitcher of
beer.
“It’s Wilton!” he called back.
Vail didn’t seem to hear him because he was already waving at someone else. We only had to
stand outside for a few minutes—or maybe I didn’t notice time slipping past because it didn’t take
Vail long to kiss me in between sliding his lips across Rowen’s. When the car pulled up, Vail gave me
a wink and opened the back door, then crawled all the way across the seat. “Rowen, come sit by me.
I’ll be a perfect gentleman,” he called out, words full of an innocence I didn’t believe.
Rowen groaned but did as he was told, and that put him between me and Vail as I settled down
onto the seat and closed the door.
“Where to?” the driver asked. He was gruff and I didn’t like him. He had a flat cap pulled low on
his head that I wanted to tell him looked stupid out of spite. I wasn’t sure what about him got under
my skin until he glared in the mirror, and I noticed he had blond hair almost the same color as mine.
He reminded me just a little too much of Padraig.
Vail didn’t seem to notice the irritated tone and leaned forward. “Home, please?” Then he turned
and attacked Rowen’s neck. I licked my lips because I knew exactly how good that felt. My dick
tented my jeans as Rowen’s soft moans filled the cab. The driver hadn’t turned on music. Vail’s eyes
glittered as his gaze met mine in the dim light. It seemed like he was inviting me to get the other side
of Rowen’s neck so that was exactly what I did.
Rowen’s skin was soft under my mouth. His pulse jumped as I licked across it. He’d taken his
time shaving and his beard had a clear cut that I respected. It wasn’t always easy to get the line
straight and even. I licked along the spot where the hair started. He shivered and gasped, and I slid
my palm along his thigh toward his dick, only to snicker when I landed my hand on top of Vail’s. He
squeezed Rowen, and I put more pressure on Vail’s hand until we were giving Rowen a strained, dual
massage that had my dick aching for some friction.
 “Bloody fecking hell,” Rowen whispered, and I didn’t miss how overwhelmed he sounded. As far
as I knew, he’d never been the center of attention like this, and I didn’t mind giving it to him. He was
handsome as fuck. I tickled my fingers through his beard, and he dropped his head back to give me
more room to do that, so I massaged his chin. I’d never touched another man this way and it was
wildly intimate.
“That feels good, loves,” he whispered, and I nearly came in my pants at that light, musical
accent, which was so different from Cillian’s. Cillian never sounded gentle like this. Vail moaned and
nearly put me right over the edge. My heart hammered so hard I heard it in my ears. My dick struggled
against my pants and my cockhead throbbed.
Rowen rested his hands over ours in his lap and shook his head.
Vail and I both stopped.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
Vail hummed.
We both moved our hands to his thighs while Rowen let out a long breath.
“I’m sorry.” Vail kissed his cheek. “I didn’t ask if you were okay with this. Are you okay with it?
You seemed fine in the bar, that’s why I assumed, and I’m truly sorry.” Vail’s hurried, rambled
apology made me reach over to squeeze his shoulder.
A light chuckle escaped Rowen. “No worries, angel. It’s just improper.” He glanced toward the
back of the driver’s head.
Vail’s brow furrowed. “But in the bar—”
The driver coughed, and I swore he chuckled.
“I didn’t know anyone in the bar,” Rowen murmured, but then to take the sting out of his words he
cupped Vail’s cheeks and gave him a little kiss. I wasn’t sure, but I thought maybe Rowen’s ears had
gone pink from the conversation. I settled in against his side and ignored my already neglected dick,
trying to think about anything except shoving my hand down my pants to relieve some of the pressure.
I was so turned on.
My hard-on didn’t go down.
It took forever and a day to get home, and the second the car stopped in our driveway I stumbled
out toward the house with my dick doing everything it could to make itself seen. I closed my eyes as I
stood by the front door with my shoulders pressed to the stones while Rowen unlocked it. Vail came
over to me and licked his tongue into my mouth. I tugged him close and thrust with a groan when he
cupped my very serious problem and massaged it. My toes curled in my shoes and I panted.
“Don’t do that. He gets off faster than everyone else. I want to see him when he comes.” Rowen
slid a hand down my arm and that was nearly it. I almost spilled. I slammed my head back and
dragged air into my lungs.
Vail tickled my side.
“I want to fuck you,” I mumbled.
“Aye, same,” Rowen growled out, and I got a happy thrill. “Me angel was such a devil in that car.
I almost burst in me trousers.”
Vail snickered against my lips, and I bit the inside of my cheek as he somehow managed to put the
perfect amount of pressure on my cockhead with his palm. I saw stars behind my eyelids from
clenching them so tight and pushed toward his hand, which vanished suddenly. I whined and didn’t
give a shit what it made me sound like.
“Rude.” I glared at Rowen, who had dragged Vail’s hand away from me.
“Let’s go. Get inside,” Rowen said. The door was magically open now and he gestured us
forward with an exaggerated sweep of his arm. Vail and I nearly fell over trying to get in the house
because we didn’t want to untangle to move.
Somehow, we made it inside.
The lights were on, and I couldn’t remember if we’d left them that way or if the cleaning lady had
been in this evening. I assumed Rowen closed and locked the front door because, all at once, the cold
air stopped being an issue. Vail stripped my shirt up and somehow my hair got tangled in it. I hissed
as my strands were tugged and the slight pain did fantastic things to my dick. I rocked my hips.
Vail moaned. “Hello, abs. I missed you.” Rather than untangling my hair and shirt, he tickled his
fingers over my belly.
I laughed. “Help!”
“I got ye. Of all the—how did this happen? Och, this is a mess.” I wasn’t sure who Rowen was
talking to, but he helped me get the shirt off without pulling my hair, and I turned, sliding my arms
around his neck and plastering myself against his front.
“Do you want a thank-you kiss?” I grinned.
He studied me, and I was afraid he was going to tell me again that he didn’t fuck people he wasn’t
dating, but he caressed his palms along my sides. His hands were rougher than Vail’s, and I ground my
groin against his.
“Oh, Fallon,” he murmured, and I fell into another kiss with him. His beard tickled my chin, and I
loved it. This was easy and simple in some ways I hadn’t expected. Rowen didn’t set my teeth on
edge the way Cillian sometimes did, and he didn’t have me worried I was messing everything up the
way I sometimes did with Aspen, since he could be so serious. Kissing Rowen was more like being
with Vail. I was scared I might lose him, but not that I would get hurt. . . and maybe I needed more of
this in my life.
Vail slid up behind me and moved my hair out of the way to drag his teeth across my neck. The
sharp sensation was so good I couldn’t stand still and pumped my hips against Rowen’s again. I found
his thick dick waiting to buck against mine.
“Fuck,” I whispered and buried my face against Rowen’s neck. Vail kissed along my spine,
moving downward. He reached the small of my back and slid his hands around to the front to
unbuckle my belt and unbutton my pants. Rowen grabbed my insulin pump and hooked it to the collar
of his own shirt, something he’d seen me do with Aspen a few times by now. I really had to trust
someone to allow them to do that. I clung to him. Did I? He stared deep into my eyes and my breath
caught. Oh yes.
I shivered as Vail tugged down my jeans but only lowered the back of my underwear to right
below my asscheeks. He let out an adorable growl and nibbled on my right cheek in a way that had
me chuckling because it tickled.
“Vail!”
“Hmm?” He kissed all around my cheek, and I wasn’t prepared when he nuzzled in and licked my
hole while spreading me open. The wet heat got me every time and my dick jerked so hard in my
underwear my stomach muscles almost cramped.
“Oh, that’s it,” Rowen said with a sigh and pressed a kiss to my temple. He murmured something
under his breath that I didn’t understand, then planted his lips over mine again. Vail dug his tongue in
against my hole and sharp need rushed me in a fierce wave, hammering me like a loan shark’s pipe.
It was vicious.
Rowen used both hands to grab my hips and grind against me. I gasped and fell over the edge far
too fast. My dick hardened a little bit more, and Rowen timed another filthy swirl of his hips just right
as Vail dipped the tip of his tongue into my hole. I groaned. My balls drew up and unloaded in my
underwear while my abs ached in a good way as the tension released.
“Fuck yeah,” I moaned out.
“Christ,” Rowen said, and I was so shocked by him almost swearing, which he didn’t do often,
that I wasn’t prepared as he dragged me over to the gray oak steps across from the front door. He
shoved me onto my ass, and I was about to get mad, but he made quick work of yanking off my shoes
and socks. My pants went flying next, and Vail whimpered as he crouched next to Rowen.
They dragged my underwear off together.
I felt pretty fucking amazing as they both ate me up with their gazes. Vail hauled Rowen close and
kissed him hard, more a mashing of lips than anything, and then he was on me, devouring my mouth.
Lips landed on my dick, and I nearly shot through the roof at the serious suction on my overly
sensitive cockhead. But then Rowen sucked harder, and I swore it almost felt like I was coming again.
“Rowen.” I lightly dug my fingers through the red hair on the back of his head, and he growled
around my dick. He sucked again, and I let out a sound that made my face heat from embarrassment,
but I couldn’t stop it. He sat up and studied my face, then Vail’s.
“Are we doing this?” he asked Vail and tousled his dark blond hair. Next, he tweaked Vail’s bow
tie.
Vail tilted his head. “What?”
“Fallon. Together, love. I can’t explain it, but are Fallon and I focusing on ye or—”
“Oh!” Vail grinned. “Let’s not worry about what’s happening. Let’s just do what feels good.”
“But I like to have a plan lo—” Rowen’s words were lost as Vail kissed him again, and then Vail
stood up and stripped with an enthusiasm that had Rowen sighing while a smile played on his lips.
“How about we go to bed, love?” Rowen murmured, glancing between me and Vail. “I’d rather
have us all somewhere comfortable.” He grimaced and reached down to pat a step, and I had to laugh.
“Not exactly the best spot.” Vail nodded but dropped down facing me on the step below me. He was
beautiful, dick curving up toward his belly and pointing slightly to the left, and I wasn’t prepared for
the way he latched on to my mouth and pushed me backward. I would’ve clonked my head if it wasn’t
for Rowen’s hand somehow managing to slip between me and the wood.
“Oh, feck it,” Rowen grumbled, and I didn’t pay much attention to anything else for a while
because miles of Vail’s creamy, flawless skin pressed against mine, and he massaged my thighs. I
arched against him and moaned.
“I’m putting this here,” Rowen said, and I peeked out of the corner of my eye to see the pump on a
step beside us. “I’ll be right back.” He dropped a kiss on my forehead, then pressed one to Vail’s
cheek. His footsteps padding up the stairs faded out of existence for a while as I massaged Vail’s back
muscles and traded air with him. My dick didn’t take long to firm up and get back in the game. I could
tell why Vail hadn’t wanted to commit to anything Rowen asked—right now I could go either way,
too. I didn’t care if he fucked me, I fucked him, or some other sex miracle happened. I was horny as
hell and loved everything Vail wanted to do with me. He leaned back and pressed his forehead to
mine.
“I love you,” he whispered.
I grinned. “I love you, too.”
Vail pushed at my thighs and leaned forward, and I was happy to take his weight against my body.
I palmed his ass as he wriggled against me. I nodded as he lifted one knee, then the other, so that they
were on the same step my ass was sitting on. He leaned down to kiss me again, and an out of breath
Rowen rushed down to the bottom of the stairs with a familiar bottle of lube in hand. We’d started
Another random document with
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Gallo.—Preguntaselo a Grilo,
noble varon griego, el qual
boluiendo de la guerra de Troya
passando por la ysla de Candia le
conuertio la maga Cyrçes en
puerco, y despues por ruego de
Ulixes le quisiera boluer honbre, y
tanta ventaja halló Grilo en la
naturaleza de puerco, y tanta
mejora y bondad que escogio
quedarse ansi, y menospreçió
boluerse a su natural patria.
Miçilo.—Por cierto cosas me
cuentas que avn a los hombres
de mucha esperiençia cansassen
admiraçion, quanto más a vn
pobre çapatero como yo.
Gallo.—Pues porque no me
tengas por mentiroso, y que
quiero ganar opinion contigo
contandote fabulas, sabras que
esta historia auctorizó Plutarco el
historiador griego de más
auctoridad.
Miçilo.—Pues, valame dios, que
bondad halló ese Grilo en la
naturaleza de puerco, por la qual
a nuestra naturaleza de hombre la
prefirio?
Gallo.—La que yo hallé.
Miçilo.—Eso deseo mucho saber
de ti.
Gallo.—A lo menos vna cosa
trabajaré mostrarte como aquel
que de ambas naturalezas por
esperiençia sabra dezir. Que
comparada la vida y inclinacion
de muchos hombres al comun
viuir de vn puerco, es mas perfeto
con gran ventaja en su natural.
Prinçipalmente quando de viçios
tiene el hombre ocupada la razon.
Y agora pues es venido el dia
abre la tienda y yo me passearé
con mis gallinas por la casa y
corral en el entretanto que nos
aparejas, el manjar que emos de
comer. Y en el canto que se sigue
verás claramente la prueba de mi
intinçion.
Miçilo.—Sea ansi.

Fin del primer canto del gallo.

 NOTAS:
[298] En el códice de Gayangos aguadero.
[299] En el códice de La Romana se añade, á modo de apostilla,
pero de la misma letra: «y agora que son lutheranos no diffieren
de la gentilidad».
[300] La indicación del año que parece un paréntesis está en el
códice de Gayangos, pero falta en el de La Romana.
[301] Falta la palabra tálamo en el códice de La Romana.
[302] En el códice de La Romana ataviados.
[303] En el mismo códice agraciaban.
[304] En el códice de Gayangos dice sólo que «colgaban de los
ramos».
[305] En la Romana «y de allí la truxieron los de esta ciudad por
cosa admirable, y la daban agora al que fuese triunfoso en esta
fiesta y desafío».
[306] Así en La Romana. En Gayangos «vive Dios».
 ARGUMENTO
DEL SEGUNDO
CANTO DEL
GALLO

En el segundo canto que se

sigue, el auctor imita a
Plutarco en vn dialogo que
hizo entre Ulixes y vn griego
llamado Grilo; el qual auia
Cyrçes conuertido en puerco.
En esto el auctor quiere dar a
entender, que quando los
hombres estan encenagados
en los viçios y prinçipalmente
de la carne son muy peores
que brutos, y avn ay muchas
fieras que sin comparaçion los
exceden en el vso de la virtud.

Gallo.—Ya parece, Miçilo, que

es hora conueniente para
començar a vibir, dando gracias a
dios que ha tenido por bien de
passar la noche sin nuestro
peligro, y traernos al dia para que
con nuestra buena industria nos
podamos todos mantener.
Miçilo.—Bendito sea dios que
ansi lo ha permitido. Pero dime,
gallo, es esta tu primera cancion?
Porque holgaria de dormir vn
poco más hasta que cantes
segunda vez.
Gallo.—No te engañes, Miçilo,
que ya canté a la media noche
como acostumbramos, y como
estauas sepultado en la
profundidad y dulçura del primer
sueño, no te bastaron despertar
mis bozes, puesto caso que
trabajé por cantar lo mas
templado y bien comedido que
pude por no te desordenar en tu
suave dormir. Por la fortaleza
deste primer sueño creo yo que
llamaron los antiguos al dormir
ymagen de la muerte, y por su
dulçura le dixeron los poetas,
apazible holganza de los dioses.
Agora ya será casi el dia, que no
ay dos horas de la noche por
passar, despierta que yo quiero
prosseguir en mi obligaçion.
Miçilo.—Pues dizes ser essa
hora yo me quiero leuantar al
trabajo, porque proueyendo a
nuestro remedio y hambre, oyrte
me sera solaz. Agora di tu.
Gallo.—En el canto passado
quedé de te mostrar la bondad y
sosiego de la vida de las fieras, y
avn la ventaja que en su natural
hazen a los hombres. Esto
mostraré ser verdad en tanta
manera que podria ser, que si
alguna dellas diessen libertad de
quedar en su ser, o venir a ser
hombre como vos, escogeria
quedar fiera, puerco, lobo o leon
antes que venir a ser hombre, por
ser entre todos los animales la
especie mas trabajada y infeliz.
Mostrarte he el órden y conçierto
de su vibir, tanto que te
conuenças afirmar ser en ellas
verdadero vso de razon, por lo
qual las fieras sean dignas de ser
en mas tenidas, elegidas y
estimadas que los hombres.
Miçilo.—Parece, gallo, que con
tu eloquençia y manera de dezir
me quieres encantar, pues te
profieres a me mostrar vna cosa
tan lexos de verdadera y natural
razon. Temo me que en eso te
atreues a mi presumiendo que
facilmente como a pobre çapatero
qualquiera cosa me podras
persuadir. Agora pues
desengañate de oy mas que
confiado de mi naturaleza yo me
profiero a te lo defender. Di, que
me plazerá mucho oyr tus
sophisticos argumentos.
Gallo.—Por çierto yo espero que
no te parezcan sophisticos, sino
muy en demostraçion.
Prinçipalmente que no me podras
negar que yo mejor que quantos
ay en el mundo lo sabré mostrar,
pues de ambas naturalezas de
fiera y hombre tengo hecha
esperiencia. Pues agora
pareceme a mi que el prinçipio de
mi prueba se deue tomar de las
virtudes, justiçia, fortaleza,
prudençia, continençia y castidad,
de las quales vista la perfeçion
con que las vsan y tratan las
fieras conoçeras claramente no
ser manera de dezir lo que he
propuesto, mas que es muy
aueriguada verdad. Y quanto a lo
primero quiero que me digas; si
huviesse dos tierras, la vna de las
quales sin ser arada, cabada ni
sembrada, ni labrada, por sola su
bondad y generosidad de buena
naturaleza lleuasse todas las
frutas, flores y miesses muy en
abundancia? Dime, no loarias
más a esta tal tierra, y la
estimarias y antepornias a otra, la
qual por ser montuosa y para solo
pasto de cabras avn siendo
arada, muy rompida, cabada y
labrada con dificultad diesse fruto
poco y miserable?
Miçilo.—Por çierto avnque toda
tierra que da fruto avnque
trabajadamente es de estimar, de
mucho mas valor es aquella que
sin ser cultivada, o aquella que
con menos trabajo nos comunica
su fruto.
Gallo.—Pues de aqui se puede
sacar y colegir como de sentençia
de prudente y cuerdo, que ay
cosas que se han de loar y
aprobar por ser buenas, y otras
por muy mejores se han de
abraçar, amar y elegir. Pues ansi
de esta manera verdaderamente
y con necesidad me conçederas
que avnque el ánima del hombre
sea de gran valor, el ánima de la
fiera es mucho más; pues sin ser
rompida, labrada, arada ni
cabada; quiero dezir, sin ser
enseñada en otras escuelas ni
maestros que de su mesma
naturaleza es mas abil, presta y
aparejada a produçir en
abundançia el fruto de la virtud.
Miçilo.—Pues dime agora tú,
gallo, de qual virtud se pudo
nunca adornar el alma del bruto,
porque pareze que contradize a la
naturaleza de la misma virtud?
Gallo.—Y eso me preguntas?
Pues yo te probaré que la vsan
mejor que el más sabio varon.
Porque lo veas vengamos primero
a la virtud de fortaleza de la qual
vosotros, y principalmente los
españoles entre todas las
naciones, os gloriais y honrrais.
Quan vfanos y por quan gloriosos
os teneis quando os oys nombrar
atreuidos saqueadores de
çiudades, violadores de templos,
destruidores de hermosos y
sumptuosos edifiçios, disipadores
y abrasadores de fertiles campos
y miesses? Con los quales
exerçiçios de engaños y cautelas
aueis adquirido falso titulo y
renombre entre los de vuestro
tiempo de animosos y esforçados,
y con semejantes obras os aueis
usurpado el nombre de virtud.
Pero no son ansi las contiendas
de las fieras, porque si han de
pelear entre si o con vosotros,
muy sin engaños y cautelas lo
hazen, abierta y claramente las
verás pelear con sola confiança
de su esfuerço. Prinçipalmente
porque sus batallas no estan
subjetas a leyes que obliguen a
pena al que desamparare el
campo en la pelea. Pero como
por sola su naturaleza temen ser
vencidos trabajan quanto pueden
hasta vencer a su enemigo avn
que no obligan el cuerpo ni sus
animos a subjeçion ni vasallaje
siendo vencidas. Y ansi la
vençida siendo herida cayda en el
suelo es tan grande su esfuerço
que recoxe el animo en vna
pequeña parte de su cuerpo y
hasta que es del todo muerta
resiste a su matador. No hay
entre ellas los ruegos que le
otorgue la vida; no suplicaciones
lagrimas ni petiçiones de
misericordia; ni el rendirse al
vençedor confesandole la vitoria,
como vosotros hazeis quando os
tiene el enemigo a sus pies
amenaçandoos degollar. Nunca tú
viste que vn leon vençido sirua a
otro leon vençedor, ni vn cauallo a
otro, ni entre ellos ay temor de
quedar con renombre de
cobardes. Qualesquiera fieras
que por engaños o cautelas
fueron alguna vez presas en lazos
por los caçadores, si de edad
razonable son, antes se dexarán
de hambre y de sed morir que ser
otra vez presas y captiuas si en
algun tiempo pudieran gozar de la
libertad. Aunque algunas vezes
aconteçe que siendo algunas
presas siendo pequeñas se
vienen a amansar con regalos y
apazibles tratamientos, y ansi
aconteçe darseles por largos
tiempos en seruidumbre a los
hombres. Pero si son presas en
su vejez o edad razonable antes
moriran que subjetarseles. De lo
qual todo claramente se muestra
ser las fieras naturalmente
naçidas para ser fuertes y vsar de
fortaleza, y que los hombres vsan
contra verdad de titulo de fuertes
que ellos tienen usurpado
diziendo que les venga de su
naturaleza, y avn esto façilmente
se verá si consideramos vn
prinçipio de philosophia que es
vniuersalmente verdadero; y es,
que lo que conuiene por
naturaleza a vna especie
conuiene a todos los indiuiduos y
particulares igual y
indiferentemente. Como acontece
que conuiene a los hombres por
su naturaleza la risa, por la qual a
qualquiera honbre en particular
conuiene reyrse. Dime agora,
Miçilo, antes que passe adelante,
si ay aqui alguna cosa que me
puedas negar?
Miçilo.—No porque veo por
esperiençia que no ay honbre en
el mundo que no se rya y pueda
reyr; y solo el honbre propiamente
se rye. Pero yo no sé a que
proposito lo dizes.
Gallo.—Digolo porque pues esto
es verdad y vemos que
igualmente en las fieras en
fortaleça y esfuerço no diffieren
machos y hembras, pues
igualmente son fuertes para se
defender de sus enemigos, y para
sufrir los trabajos neçesarios por
defender sus hijos, o por vuscar
su mantenimiento, que
claramente pareçe conuenirles de
su naturaleza. Porque ansi
hallarás de la hembra tigre, que si
a caso fue a vuscar de comer
para sus hijos que los tenia
pequeños y en el entretanto que
se ausentó de la cueua vinieron
los cazadores y se los lleuaron;
diez y doze leguas sigue a su
robador y hallado haze con él tan
cruda guerra que veynte honbres
no se le igualaran en esfuerço. Ni
tampoco para esto aguardan
favorecerse de sus maridos, ni
con lagrimas se les quexan
contándoles su cuyta como hazen
vuestras hembras. Ya creo que
habrás oydo de la puerca de
Calidonia quantos trabajos y
fatigas dio al fuerte Theseo con
sus fuertes peleas. Que dire de
aquel sphinge de Pheniçia y de la
raposa telmesia? Que de aquella
famosa serpiente que con tanto
esfuerço peleó con Apolo?
Tambien creo que tú abrás visto
muchas leonas y osas mucho
mas fuertes que los machos en su
naturaleza. Y no se han como
vuestras mugeres las quales
quando vosotros estais en lo mas
peligroso de la guerra estan ellas
muy descuidadas de vuestro
peligro sentadas al fuego, o en el
regalo de sus camas y deleytes.
Como aquella Reyna Clithenestra,
que mientra su marido Agamenon
estaua en la guerra de troya
gozaua ella de los bessos y
abraços de su adultero Egisto. De
manera que de lo que tengo dicho
pareçeme no ser verdad, no ser
natural la fortaleza a los hombres,
porque si ansi fuesse igualmente
conuernia el esfuerço a las
henbras de vuestra espeçie, y se
hallaria como en los machos
como aconteçe en las fieras. Ansi
que podemos dezir, que los
honbres no de su voluntad, mas
forjados de vuestras leyes y de
vuestros principes y mayores
venis a exercitaros en esfuerço,
porque no osais yr contra su
mandado temiendo grandes
penas. Y estando los honbres en
el peligro más fragoso del mar, el
que primero en la tenpestad se
mueue no es para tomar el mas
pesado remo y trabajar doblado;
pero cada qual procura yr primero
por escoger el mas ligero y dexar
para los de la postre la mayor
carga, y avn del todo la reusarian
sino fuesse por miedo del castigo,
o peligro en que se ven. Y ansi
este tal no se puede dezir
esforzado, ni este se puede
gloriar ser doctado desta virtud,
porque aquel que se defiende de
su enemigo con miedo de reçebir
la muerte este tal no se deue
dezir magnanimo ni esforçado
pero cobarde y temeroso. Desta
manera aconteçe en vosotros
llamar fortaleza lo que bien
mirado con prudencia es
verdadera cobardia. Y si vosotros
os hallais ser mas esforçados que
las fieras, por qué vuestros
poetas y historiadores quando
escriuen y decantan vuestras
hazañas y hechos en la guerra os
comparan con los leones, tigres y
onzas, y por gran cosa dizen que
igualastes en esfuerço con ellos?
Y por el contrario nunca en las
batallas de las fieras fueran en su
ánimo comparadas con algun
hombre. Pero ansi como aconteçe
que comparamos los ligeros con
los vientos, y a los hermosos con
los angeles, queriendo hazer
semejantes los nuestros con las
cosas que exceden sin alguna
medida ni tasa: ansi parece que
desta manera comparais los
honbres en vuestras historias en
fortaleza con las fieras como a
cosas que exceden sin
comparaçion. Y la causa desto es,
porque como la fortaleza sea vna
virtud que consiste en el buen
gouierno de las passiones y
impetus del animo, el qual más
sincero y perfecto se halla en las
peleas que entre si tienen las
fieras. Porque los hombres
turbada la razon con la yra y la
soberuia los ciega y desbarata
tanto la colera que ninguna cosa
hazen con libertad que merezca
nombre de virtud. Avn con todo
esto quiero dezir que no teneis
porqué os quexar de naturaleza
porque no os diese vñas,
colmillos, conchas y otras armas
naturales que dio a las fieras para
su defensa, pues que vn
entendimiento de que os armó
para defenderos de vuestros
enemigos le enbotais y
entorpeçeis por vuestra culpa y
negligençia.
Miçilo.—O gallo, quan admirable
maestro me has sido oy de
Retorica, pues con tanta
abundançia de palabras has
persuadido tu proposito avn en
cosa tan seca y esteril. Forçado
me has a creer que hayas sido en
algun tiempo vno de los famosos
philosophos que obo en las
escuelas de athenas.
Gallo.—Pues mira, Micilo, que
por pensar yo que querias
redarguirme lo que tengo dicho
con algunos argumentos, o con
algun genero de contradiçion no
pasaua adelante en mi dezir. Y ya
que veo que te vas conuenciendo
quiero que pasemos a otra virtud,
y luego quiero que tratemos de la
castidad. En la qual te mostraré
que las fieras exçeden a los
hombres sin alguna comparaçion.
Mucho se preçian vuestras
mugeres tener de su parte por
exemplo de castidad vna
Penelope, vna Lucreçia Porçia,
Doña Maria de Toledo, y doña
Ysabel Reyna de Castilla; porque
dezis que estas menospreçiauan
sus vidas por no violar la virtud de
su castidad. Pues yo te mostraré
muchas fieras castas mil vezes
mas que todas esas vuestras, y
no quiero que comencemos por la
castidad de la corneja, ni Croton,
admirables fieras en este caso,
que despues de sus maridos
muertos guardan la viudez no
qualquiera tiempo, pero nueue
hedades de hombres sin ofender
su castidad. Por lo qual
neçesariamente me deues
conçeder ser estas fieras nueue
vezes mas castas que las
vuestras mugeres que por
exemplo teneis. Pero porque
tienes entendido de mí, Miçilo,
que soy retorico, quiero que
procedamos en el discurso desta
virtud segun las leyes de
Retorica, porque por ellas espero
vençerte con mas façilidad, Y ansi
primero veamos la difiniçion desta
virtud continençia, y despues
deçenderemos a sus inferiores
espeçies. Suelen dezir los
philosophos, que la virtud de
continençia es vna buena y çierta
dispusiçion y regla de los
deleytes, por la qual se desechan
y huyen los malos, vedados y
superfluos y se faboreçen y
allegan los neçesarios y naturales
en sus conuenientes tiempos.
Quanto a lo primero vosotros los
hombres todos los sentidos
corporales corrompeis y
deprabais con vuestros malos
vsos y costumbres y
inclinaciones, endereçandolos
sienpre a vuestro viçioso deleyte
y luxuria. Con los ojos todas las
cosas que veis endereçais para
vuestra laçiuia y cobdiçia. lo qual
nosotras las fieras no hazemos
ansi. Porque quando yo era
hombre me holgaua y regoçijaua
con gran deleyte viendo el oro,
joyas y piedras preçiosas, a tanto
que me andaua bobo y
desbaneçido vn dia tras vn Rey o
principe si anduuiesse vestido y
adornado de jaezes y atauios de
seda, oro, purpura y hermosos
colores. Pero agora, como lo
hacen las otras fieras, no estimo
yo en más todo eso que al lodo y
a otras comunes piedras que ay
por las pedregosas y asperas
syerras y montañas. Y ansi
quando yo era puerco estimaua
mucho más sin comparaçion
hallar algun blando y humido
cieno, o piçina en que me
refrescasse rebolcandome. Pues
si venimos al sentido del oler, si
consideramos aquellos olores
suaues de gomas, espeçias y
pastillas de que andais siempre
oliendo, regalando y afeminando
vuestras personas. En tanta
manera que ningun varon de
vosotros viene a gozar de su
propia muger si primero no se
vnta con vnçiones delicadas y
odoriferas, con las quales
procurais inçitar y despertar en
vosotros a venus. Y esto todo avn
seria sufridero en vuestras
hembras por daros deleyte usar
de aquellos olores laboratorios,
afeytes y vnturas; pero lo que
peor es que lo vsais vosotros los
varones para incitaros a luxuria.
Pero nosotras las fieras no lo
vsamos ansi, sino el lobo con la
loba, y el leon con la leona, y ansi
todos los machos con sus
hembras en su genero y espeçie
gozan de sus abraços y açessos
solamente con los olores
naturales y proprios que a sus
cuerpos dio su naturaleza sin
admistion de otro alguno de fuera.
Quando mas ay, y con que ellas
mas se deleytan es al olor que
produçen de si los olorosos
prados quando en el tiempo de su
brama, que es quando vsan sus
bodas, estan verdes y floridos y
hermosos. Y ansi ninguna hembra
de las nuestras tiene necesidad
para sus ayuntamientos de
afeytes ni vnturas para engañar y
traer al macho de su especie. Ni
los machos tienen neçesidad de
las persuadir con palabras,
requiebros, cautelas ni
ofreçimientos. Pero todos ellos en
su propio tiempo sin engaños ni
intereses hazen sus
ayuntamientos atsaydos por
naturaleza con las dispusiçiones y
concurso del tiempo, como los
quales son inçitados y llamados a
aquello. Y ansi este tiempo siendo
passado, y hechas sus preñezes,
todos se aseguran y mortiguan en
su incentiuo deleyte, y hasta la
buelta de aquel mesmo tiempo
ninguna hembra cobdiçia ni
consiente al macho, ni el macho
la acomete. Ningun otro interese
se pretende en las fieras sino el
engendrar y todo lo guiamos y
ordenamos como nuestra
naturaleza lo dispone. Y añade á
esto que entre las fieras en
ningun tiempo se cobdiçia ni
soliçita ni acomete hembra a
hembra, ni macho con macho en
açesso carnal. Pero vosotros los
hombres no ansi, porque no os
perdonais vnos a otros; pero
muger con muger, y hombre con
hombre contra las leyes de
vuestra naturaleza, os juntais, y
en vuestros carnales açessos os
toman vuestros juezes cada dia.
Ni por esto temeis la pena, quanto
quiera que sea cruel, por
satisfazer y cumplir uuestro
deleyte y luxuria. En tanta manera
es esto aborreçido de las fieras,
que si vn gallo cometiese açesso
con otro gallo, avn que le faltasse
gallina, con los picos y vñas le
hariamos en breue pedaços.
Pareçe, micilo, que te bas
conuençiendo y haciendote de mi
sentencia, pues tanto callas sin
me contradezir.
Miçilo.—Es tan efficaz, gallo, tu
persuasion, que como vna
cadena me llevas tras ti sin poder
resistir.
Gallo.—Dexemos de contar
quantos varones han tenido sus
ayuntamientos con cabras, ouejas
y perras; y las mugeres que han
effectuado su lexuria con gimios,
asnos, cabrones y perros: de los
quales açessos se han
engendrado çentauros, sphinges,
minotauros y otros admimirables
monstruos de prodigioso aguero.
Pero las fieras nunca vsaron ansi,
como lo muestra por exemplo la
continencia de aquel famoso
mendesio, cabron egipcio, que
siendo encerrado por muchas
damas hermosas para que
holgase con ellas, ofreçiéndosele
desnudas delante, las
menospreçio, y quando se pudo
soltar se fué huyendo á la
montaña á tener sus plazeres con
las cabras sus semejantes. Pues
quanto ves que son mas
inferiores en la castidad los
hombres que las fieras, ansi lo