Wonderland: Enemies to Lovers, Bad

Boy, Rockstar Romance (Steel Roses

Book 3) B.L. Wilde
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W ONDERLAND
STEEL ROSES #3

B.L.WILDE
 Copyright © 2024 B.L.WILDE

All rights reserved

The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or
otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 9798876637277
Imprint: Independently published
ASIN: B0CP2LVLH6

Cover design by: BECKY BAKER DESIGNS

Edited by: Jo Matthews
Cover Art: solarseven@shutterstock
To one of my oldest friends, Caz. You are one of the strongest women I know, and I adore you.
This book is dedicated to you.
 CONTENTS

Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Trigger Warnings
Preface
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Epilogue
THE END
Author note
About The Author
Books By This Author
 TRIGGER WARNINGS

This book has a strong storyline of miscarriage and baby loss. Please read with caution if you struggle with those triggers.
 PREFACE

was as lost as Alice in Wonderland. The person I’d been didn’t exist anymore. I was irrevocably changed. The tears that
I continued to trickle down my face were unexplainable. Hadn’t I cried enough these last few months? Why wasn’t I strong
enough? Why did this have to happen to us? The darkness was consuming me, and I couldn’t see a way out.
Had we always been destined to fail? Was love truly not enough?
How could I save myself and my rockstar when everything we had ever wanted was slipping through our fingers?

Our Wonderland had been ripped apart, just like my heart.

 CHAPTER ONE

“H ow would you like this as an office space?” Alex asked, following me around the room. I was still trying to take it all in.
The recording studio downstairs had taken my breath away, but knowing this would be the area I’d be in charge of once
Harbour Records was up and running…it all still felt like a dream. “I was thinking you’d fit your entire team in here. How
many positions did you say we should have at first?”
“At least five. We’ll need a few administrators, some talent scouts, and an artist relations specialist. As the team
expands, I’ll probably need to take on an office manager, too. What are we doing about accountants?”
“Oliver has given me some contacts. We’ll hire an accounts manager, and they can build their own team. I’m the talent
scout at the moment, so we won’t need to worry about that for a while.” Alex pulled me into his arms and ran his hands down
my back. The simple touch sent tremors of pleasure down my body. “Central Demons are already on board. Lance can’t wait. I
have a few meetings with some other up-and-coming bands next week, as well.” Alex was born for this. Bands were flocking
to join his label, knowing they'd have a rock icon guiding them.
“I couldn’t do this with anyone but you, Straight Lace. You know that, right?” He placed both his hands on my face, and
kissed me softly. “You keep me balanced.” I answered him by deepening the kiss. Together, we were unstoppable; we both
knew that.
It was hard to imagine that I’d been engaged to a rock star for three months already! Memories from the night he
proposed flashed in my mind. I had felt a change in the crowd the moment he got down on one knee. The cheering had been so
loud, it was deafening. Alex’s fans knew I was good for him. Our love had healed so many parts of my broken rock star, and
had made my confidence soar. Was I even the same person anymore? I honestly wasn’t sure; I had grown so much because of
his love for me.
The one thing I was sure of was the way Alex commanded the stage that night. It had been a bewildering experience.
Watching the main spotlight stream down on him as he held the entire venue in the palm of his hand with his gravelly voice, I’d
never seen him so alive. The last time I’d seen a performance like that, I had been twelve. Alex had transported me back to my
youth, where my inner schoolgirl had been beaming all night. There was no doubt that Alex Harbour, the Rock God, was back.
It didn’t matter that Rock Records were no longer behind him. Harbour Records was going to become everything Alex had
ever dreamed of and more. That’s how much faith I had in him.
“I can’t wait to take Harbour Records right to the top with you,” I breathed against his mouth. “It must be all you’ve
ever wanted. To control your own career.”
“I’ve already got all I ever wanted.” Running his hands through my hair, he gave me that panty-dropping smirk that had
been making my legs weak since I was a schoolgirl. “You. You’re all I’ll ever need. With you by my side, I can get through
anything. Even if Harbour Records only breaks even, it won’t bother me. We can live off my Steel Roses and Solo career
money. That will see us through a good twenty years, I’d say. Probably longer.” I didn’t even want to think about how much
money Alex had. Twenty years? That had to be millions! “Come on, let’s go home.”
“That does sound like a good idea,” I sighed as he rubbed my shoulders. We had been out for most of the day, so I was
looking forward to relaxing at the Hollywood mansion. Shane and Liv had gone away for a few weeks, and Diego was in Paris
with a mystery man. We would have had the place to ourselves if all of the security team weren’t around. Shane had left strict
instructions with his new deputy, Ben. Since Alex and I had become public, I had a few haters. Mostly fangirls that were
obsessed with Alex, and believed they were going to marry him one day. I’d ruined that dream for them. I hadn’t had any death
threats yet, though, which was something I was beyond thankful for.
 Mary had put on a delicious spread for us when we got back. Cured meats, different cheeses, fruits, and warm, freshly
baked bread. It made my mouth water just looking at it all.
“You spoil us, Mary!” I thanked her as she walked away to give us some privacy. Alex went to grab a few grapes, but I
slapped his hand away playfully. “You could use a plate?”
“I could use you as a plate. You taste sweeter than grapes, anyway. I’d end up eating you instead!” Shit! He had an
answer for everything!
“I…um…I…” Yep, he had rendered me speechless!
“Lost for words, baby? That’s unlike you.” He winked, picking a grape and eating it.
“You don’t play fair,” I chuckled, passing him a plate as we both sat down to eat.
“You know I never have.” That was true! “Did you want to join me on my trip to New York Thursday? It’s mostly going
to be producer talk with Kingsley Womack. We’re meeting with some producers he’s lined up for me. Cody might fly up to
meet us, too. He’s working on a few projects at the moment, so he’s trying to figure out timings.” I loved how the Steel Roses
World Tour had propelled Cody and Mason back into the limelight. Even Matt was releasing new material. It was rubbish—
Alex had always been the lyricist of the band—but it was being played on some radio stations.
“Well, if there’s going to be a mini Steel Roses reunion, I’ll have to go,” I teased, reaching over Alex to get some
cheese.
“Always the groupie,” he stated, cupping my breasts when I leaned across. “Did you want me to sign these?”
“No,” I snorted as he began to fondle my chest. “I prefer your fingers doing other things to my breasts, if I’m being
honest.”
“Whatever could you mean?” Alex mused, slipping his hand into my bra through my top. Shit, I hope Mary went home
and wasn’t coming back to clear up! She’d caught Alex and I in various positions several times in the last few months. Trying
to hold back a groan, I closed my eyes, feeling his fingers play with my nipple. “Is it just my fingers you like on them?” His
voice was a soft whisper as he swallowed, gazing down at me.
“No,” I breathed, arching toward him. This man could play me so well. “Fuck, Alex!”
“Is that a request?” He smirked, capturing my lips with his. In one swift motion, he lifted me off the stool. I pulled back,
giving him a questioning look as he carried me through the kitchen. “I’m taking us to the pool house. I don’t think we need an
audience.” Alex motioned toward Mary, who was coming back to clear up.
“Thanks, Mary. That honey glaze on the goat's cheese was amazing!” I called over Alex’s shoulder.
“Save some in the fridge for us, Mary. I have a feeling Nat and I are going to work up an appetite, “Alex requested
smugly. Cocky Bastard! I slapped his butt, making Mary chuckle at us just before she went out of view.
Once we were in the pool house, Alex pinned me against the wall, rocking his hips against mine. Our tongues were
tangled together and desperate. When I bit his bottom lip, he groaned into my mouth. Pulling my dress up over my body, our
lips only parted for a second. He made quick work of my bra, his lips descending upon my nipples before it had even hit the
ground. There was something so primal about the way Alex fucked me. It was always as if he couldn’t get enough. I cried out
as he softly bit down on one stiff peak and pulled it slightly with his teeth.
“Do you want more of that, baby?” he cooed into the crook of my neck. “I could fucking worship these all day!”
“Shit! Yes, I need you to touch me, too!” I pleaded, needing some friction in my overheated centre.
“I am touching you,” he teased, allowing me to slide down his body so I could stand. As he cupped my breasts, he
watched me intently. “What do you want, Straight Lace?”
“I need your fingers in my panties!” I moaned as his hands began to wander down my chest toward my belly button.
“Just my fingers?” Why was he still talking? I’d told him what I wanted! He must have noticed my frustration. His
hands slipped into my panties as he crashed his lips against mine again. His pace was frantic as he worked me over again and
again. Once our lips parted, I could feel his hot breath against my ear. “Give it to me, baby! I need to bury my cock in you, and I
can’t wait much longer!” Twisting his fingers inside me, Alex hit that sweet spot over and over. I could feel myself building
and knew it wouldn’t take much to make me fall. With a few more flicks, I came, moaning out through my climax.
Alex spun me around and pressed me against the wall, then pulled my ass back toward him. With one deep thrust, he
was inside me. He grabbed my breasts from behind and used that hold to steady me while he fucked me harder. I’d never tire of
being fucked like this. The way Alex took over my body was addictive. He slowed a few times, wanting to prolong our
release, and when we did climax, it was almost as one.
“Fuck!” Alex panted, kissing my shoulder. “It keeps getting better. I’ve never been able to work a body the way I can
yours. I know all your buttons.” When he pulled on my earlobe with his teeth to prove his point, I groaned. “That's one button.”
Softly biting on my neck just before my collar bone had me swallowing hard. “That’s another.” This guy was going to make me
combust if he carried on. “I better leave the others for later.” He chuckled against my skin.
“No one has ever played with my body like you do.”
“That’s because all of this was meant for only me.” He cupped my breasts as he pulled me against him. “You, Natasha
White, are fucking mine! You always have been. Once I make you Mrs. Harbour, you’ll never be able to escape me!”
“I don’t ever want to be set free from this, Alex. You’re it for me. You have been since I was a young girl. You know
that!”
“I do, baby. That doesn’t mean I don’t like you reminding me, though.” His hands caressed my ass before spanking it.
“You better get changed. I’ll go and get some snacks and then meet you in our bedroom.” By snacks, he meant Cadbury’s
chocolate or Maltesers! He really didn’t change, but that was fine by me. I found his chocolate addiction so endearing. It was
the one addiction of his that I didn’t have to fear. Well, that and his addiction for me. They were both healthy. At least he
wanted to stay clean for me because of that fact. Since his last relapse on tour, Alex had fought his demons every day, and not
touched a single drop of alcohol or taken any drugs. His strength took my breath away.
Wandering up to our private balcony, I lay on one of the comfortable sun loungers. Sex was Alex always had me a little
sleepy, because he left me so completely satisfied.
“Hey, sleepy head.” Alex nudged me awake. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted a drink, too. I got us both an orange juice.”
“Thanks.” I took the drink from him so Alex could set all the snacks on the table between us. Snacks? He’d brought a
feast! “Is there anything left in the fridge?” I giggled, looking at all the bread, cheese, meats and chocolate in front of me.
“Are you mocking me?” A playful glint in his clear blue eyes made my legs clench together. We’d just had mind-
blowing sex, so how was he making me want more? “You know how that usually ends.” Yeah, with his cock inside me!
“Your sexual appetite is scary at times.”
“You agreed to marry a rock star. You knew what you were getting into.” Taking some bread and cheese, he continued.
“Talking of weddings, have you decided on a date yet?” With all the hysteria around Alex setting up a record label and the
Steel Roses tour coming to an end, I’d hardly had time to think. “You know I’d marry you tomorrow if we could plan it that
fast.”
“I know, it’s…. It’s just that I have no idea where to start! Your input would be helpful.”
“I’ve told you what I want. You, a beach, and close family and friends. I don’t want some lavish wedding with
hundreds of fuckers that we don’t like.”
“Yeah, that part I get! I want that, too, but there are thousands of beaches! How do we decide on the beach?”
“Okay, why don’t you research and find…let’s say ten perfect wedding beaches, and I’ll take you to each one. I’m sure
we’ll know which is the right one once we get there.”
“In America?”
“Think bigger, Straight Lace. Any beach in the world! We can afford it.” Shit! I could get ten mini vacations with Alex
if I played this right!
“I’ll never get used to the amount of money you have.”
 “The money we have.” Lifting my face up to meet his gaze, his eyes were soft. “I’ve waited so long to spend my life
with someone. Don’t for a second think that you’re a gold digger. I know you’d still be by my side if I was penniless. I told you
I was going to show you the world. That starts here, baby!”
“How much money are we talking about?”
“Well, my career net worth is around three hundred and ten million, I think. It got a small boost after the tour.” My
mouth fell to the floor. “That doesn’t include the personal investments I have. That’s around fifty million. With Oliver investing
most of the money to start up Harbour Records, we are sitting pretty comfortably.”
“Shit! Alex, we need to think about a prenup! That is a ridiculous amount of money!”
“You’re marrying a damaged, fucked up, addict, Nat. You’re taking a bigger risk than me. I’m a selfish fucker and I
know it. I should have allowed you to make a run for it years ago. I’m not sure what life I can give you, but I promise that every
day, I’ll try to be a better man for you.” Alex always managed to make my insecurities fade when he spoke this way. “No
prenup, okay?” Nodding, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. His trust in me was astounding.

Sitting at my desk at home, I glared at my computer screen. Alex was busy doing circuit training with his fitness
instructor, Jason, and I had no idea where to even start to find the perfect beach for our wedding. Typing “best beaches in the
US,” in the search engine, the obvious choices came up: Miami, Cape Cod, Oahu in Hawaii, Maine, and Orange County in
California. Knowing the secrecy we had to keep regarding our wedding, they all felt too open. What we needed was a private
island that could host around forty people. Wait…a private island? How much was that going to cost? Stop worrying about
money, White! Typing ‘private islands to rent for a wedding’ felt crazy, but I did it anyway, and it pulled up a lot of places. An
island in Aruba caught my eye first because of its beautiful, turquoise sea and white beach. I could easily picture Alex and
myself there. Okay, Aruba was a place we’d have to visit. I continued the search, feeling a little more hopeful. There were
quite a few islands in the Maldives; we’d have a few places to visit there. Lastly, there was a ridiculously priced island in the
British Virgin Islands! If Alex and I added those to the list of beaches around the US, that should give us ten destinations. Well,
that was easier than I thought! Once we’d decided on the place, Alex and I could set a date and start planning our wedding.
Everything still felt surreal to me.
“There you are!” Alex stood by my doorway, looking sweaty and totally fuckable. Who was I kidding? He always
looked fuckable. “What are you up to?”
“Looking for wedding destinations.” A smile played on his lips as he walked toward me. “We can take a few mini
vacations to Florida, Hawaii, Maine and California to check out their beaches, but I’ve found some beautiful private islands in
Aruba, the Maldives and the Virgin Islands.”
“The Virgin Islands? Mmm…I wish I’d been the one to pop your cherry.” Alex came behind me and nipped at my neck.
“You’re six years older than me. You would have been twenty two when I was sixteen.”
“Is that the age you lost it? If I’d known you then, I would have teased you until you were seventeen and then taken you.
Did you come to my concerts at that age?” he asked, his expression one I couldn't read.
“Yep, I first saw you live when I was twelve. Steel Roses hadn’t gone global yet. I continued to see you until the band
split up when I was eighteen. I was actually at the last Steel Roses gig in London.”
“You never saw me once I’d gone solo?” How did you tell your rock star fiancé that you didn’t really enjoy his music
back then? “Spill, Straight Lace. You’re keeping something from me, I can tell.” He could feel I’d gone rigid as he kissed down
my neck. “Didn’t you like any of my solo work?”
“I’d grown up, Alex. I was an adult. I simply didn’t have time to listen. I started college and then got my big break at
Flavour Records. I didn’t have time to crush on some rock star from my childhood anymore. Besides, even you have to admit
your ego around that time was off putting. Every week you were at another party with some blonde on your arm.”
Chuckling against my ear, he pulled my earlobe. “And look where you are now. That rock star crush fell in love with
you within the first few months of meeting you.”
“And I fell in love with an asshole.” That got a loud laugh from him.
“That you did, baby. That you did.” Alex rubbed my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. “Scoot up and sit on my
lap so we can look at these places together. We can make some enquiries next week and get some trips booked in. Diego is
back in a few days; I’ll get him on it.”
“I don’t mind doing it,” I replied, standing up so Alex could take my seat.
“You’re doing enough. Not only are you getting Harbour Records Administration, Media and Relations up and running,
you are also still doing all my PA things. When Liv gets back you need to pass more over to her.” Pulling me onto his lap, his
arms encircled my waist.
“I will!”
“I can tell you’re pouting!” Damn him. I wasn't even facing him so how the hell did he know? “I know you like things
done a certain way—you’re a perfectionist—but you need to learn to let go a little. You’re going to be a Director at Harbour
Records. You have to learn to delegate.”
“Liv doesn’t check your calendar the way I do.”
“Baby, as long as I don’t miss any important meetings, it doesn’t matter how Liv does it.” Alex was right; I had to have
more faith in Liv. Being Alex’s PA was all I’d known for the last few years, though. I was holding onto something that I had to
let go, but becoming a Director of a record label…I wasn’t sure that something I could even do. What if I let Alex down?
 CHAPTER TWO

e’d arrived ahead of schedule and checked into the New York hotel. It helped to avoid the paparazzi by being an hour
W early. Alex and I were long gone before they’d even started to gather. It always amazed me how they were able to
always gather their leads. It wasn’t like we’d had the tickets for months; I’d booked this flight last minute in the hope it
wouldn’t get leaked.
Ben and the rest of the security team got us safely to our room without incident. “We’ll be just down the hall. I’ll let you
know when your first meeting arrives. Did you need anything else?”
“We’re good, thanks, Ben,” Alex muttered, looking around the suite. Alex had three meetings today with three different
producers who wanted to work for our label. Kingsley Womack, Alex’s oldest friend and producer, was already on the team
and had some powerful friends in the music business. Alex was hoping to secure another two well-known music producers
today. “We’ve got a few hours until Kingsley gets here. Did you schedule anything for us?” He had me backing toward the
bedroom as he slowly walked in my direction.
“Oh, I’m pretty sure we need a physical workout. We’re going to be in meetings for at least eight hours today. You’ll
need to burn some energy to help you concentrate.” Alex watched carefully, licking his lips as I unfastened the buttons on my
dress.
“Get on that fucking bed!” My dress fell to the floor in a pool around my feet. I went to remove my panties as well, but
Alex stopped me. “No, Straight Lace, I want to remove those myself…with my teeth!” he breathed, pouncing on me. There was
always something about hotel sex that ignited the desire between us. I giggled, then screamed before he silenced me with a
passionate kiss.

We were showered and dressed by the time Kingsley got to the room. We were waiting for the coffee and water service
to arrive. I was on the phone with the reception desk, tracking it down when he walked in.
“Alex! My main man!” Kingsley hugged him, patting him on the back. “Life is treating you well, I see! I’ve never seen
you looking so good!”
“It’s amazing what the love of a good woman can do.” Alex looked over at me. After putting the phone down, I walked
toward him. “You remember Nat?”
Kingsley gave me a wide smile, hugging me as I reached him. “The beautiful Natasha! You’ve made Alex a changed
man, and I can see why. You get more beautiful each time I see you! Congratulations on the engagement!”
“Put her down, Kingsley,” Alex chuckled, pulling me to his side. “How did you get on securing the meets on my list?”
“I got all of them except one.” Kingsley sighed as we all took a seat.
“MuseX?” Alex questioned, looking at the door. I followed his line of sight and noticed our coffee and water had
finally arrived. Kingsley nodded. “Fuck! They haven’t signed any contracts with anyone yet, have they? Are Rock Records
after them, too?” I’d never heard of MuseX before, so I had no idea who they were speaking about.
“Not that I’m aware of.” Allowing them to talk, I walked over to pour us all a coffee while still listening to the
conversation. “MuseX are a very sought after duo. There are a few labels chasing them which, I’m sure, includes Rock
Records if they’re smart.”
“They have an unexplainable ear for melodies and how they match the vocal pairings. I’m not surprised.” I placed the
coffee down on the table. Alex and Kinsley both smiled at me.
“I’m assuming MuseX are new. I’ve never heard of them,” I commented, sipping my coffee.
 “Yeah, they’re making a huge splash in the rock genre. They produced Haunt Me and Break Me Down by Metal Gods.”
Alex stroked my knee as he spoke. Those songs I knew, and they were incredible! The guitar solos on them reminded me of
some of Steel Roses’ earlier work.
“Do they know it’s your record label?” I questioned, looking at Alex. He gave me a frown, confused as to why I was
asking him that. “Haunt Me and Break Me Down…the guitar solos are similar to the earlier Steel Roses’ solos. That makes me
think MuseX might be fans of yours. If they are, you might gain the upper hand.”
Kingsley clapped his hands. “We weren’t planning to tell any of the producers which record label is seeking them until
we meet them today. I think you’re right, though. I was trying to work out why Break Me Down sounded a little familiar.”
“Slay Me,” I muttered. “That’s the Steel Roses song it’s inspired from.”
“Baby, you are amazing!” Alex squeezed my leg. “Kingsley, get in touch with MuseX again. Tell them Alex Harbour
wants to meet with them.”
Once Kingsley was off the phone, the first producer we were scheduled to meet with arrived. Eddie Walker was
someone I knew well from his days at Flavor Records. He was an eccentric guy that knew how to drop a beat.
“Natasha? Wow! It’s been years! I didn’t realise you’d left Flavour Records. How did you ever manage to get away
from David?” Eddie gushed, taking my hands in his. He hadn’t even noticed Alex stood next to me yet.
“Are you and David Barclay still close?” Alex seethed at Eddie. Oh, fuck, this wasn’t a good start! Eddie’s eyes
turned to Alex, and widened when he realised who was talking to him.
“Yes, we are. Apologies, Mr. Harbour. Kingsley didn’t tell me this meeting was with you!” Eddie put his hand out to
Alex.
“We’re done here! I’m not having any acquaintance of that motherfucker anywhere near Nat!” There goes my hot-
headed rocker. He was throwing away serious talent because of David.
“Hey,” I soothed, touching his chest. “Eddie is a talented producer. Don’t allow David to sabotage you and your dream.
We’ve won, okay? Eddie could be what you’re looking for.”
“Look, whatever beef you have with David Barclay doesn’t concern me. I’m here to make music, that’s all!” Eddie
stood his ground, looking between Alex and me. “Oh, shit! You’re the PA he’s engaged to? You’re that Nat! I never realised it
was you in the photos!” It was comical to watch as Eddie was working it all out. “Ah, now I understand why you left Flavour
Records.”
“Okay, fine. You have an hour to convince me, so make it count.” Alex sighed, taking a seat on the sofa. After the rocky
start, he warmed up to Eddie a little. Once I’d filled Eddie in on what David had done to undermine Alex, he was on our side
anyway.
“What did you think of him?” Kingsley asked after Eddie had left. “He can handle himself well with aggressive rock
stars, that’s for sure.”
“I like his creative process. I’m not sure if he’s the direction we’re heading, though,” Alex mused. “Is he fresh? Can he
still produce a masterpiece?”
“If you gave him the right artist, I think he could. He’s very adaptable.” Kingsley was right. I thought Eddie could bring
a lot to the team if given the chance. Alex made a few notes about the meeting. While he was writing, the clicking of heels
made us all look up. A beautiful, slender, blonde woman was strutting in.
“Alex Harbour. I should have known this meeting was with you.” The blonde stated, ignoring Kingsley and me. I hated
her already! “A fresh new record label? Look at you finally chasing your dream!”
“Maya Dean.” Alex got up to hug her. “Kingsley didn’t say you were coming! How long has it been?”
“Five years. We had that wild night in Milan. On the rooftop, remember?” Alex scratched the back of his neck
uncomfortably. Oh great! She was one of his many conquests before we’d met. I loved it when they popped up! When she
started running her hands down his chest, I saw red. “I’ve heard you’re spoken for these days. How on earth did someone tame
you?”
“It’s easy when you know how!” I interrupted, smiling sweetly at her as she peered at me around Alex. “I tamed him.
Please remove your hands from my future husband. This is a business meeting, correct?” Alex was watching me in awe. He
obviously liked this territorial side of me.
“Oh, I didn’t see you there,” she sneered, strutting over to where I was sitting by Kingsley. She greeted him first before
holding her hand out to me. “I’m Maya. It’s a pleasure to meet you!”
“Natasha, Alex’s fiancé.” Why were her hands so cold? Christ, did this woman eat? She was so thin, and her legs were
way too skinny!
“You’re brave marrying an icon like Alex,” she chuckled, slipping out of her coat. “I’ve lost count of how many orgies I
had with him over the years.” Alex’s worried eyes met mine as she spoke. “You must be into some really hard core stuff to
hold onto him.” If he could control himself with Eddie, I’d be on my best behaviour with this bitch! It was all in the past.
“Maya, we didn’t call this meeting to talk about ancient history,” Alex cautioned, moving to put his hand on my knee. I
wanted to push it off, but that would have been immature of me. None of this was Alex’s fault. He’d been a different person
before we met.
“Oh, yes! Tell me about this new record label. If you’re involved, count me in! Where do I sign?” This bitch was
already a no for me.
After an hour, I was glad to see Miss Skinny strut out the way she came! The way she’d been eye fucking Alex through
the entire meeting was totally unprofessional. Unfortunately, her experience producing music was another matter. Her spin on
rock music especially was something we needed.
“I can tell you hate her, Nat, and I understand. Maya flirts with everything. But once you get to know her, you’ll love
her,” Alex promised when Kingsley had gone outside to take a private call.
“Orgies, Alex? Seriously?” I had to get that off my chest. Shaking my head, I put my face in my hands. “How could you
even fuck someone that skinny? How did you manage not to break her?”
A bemused smile spread across his face. “Wait? Do you think I fucked all the women from my past the way I fuck you?”
Duh? Of course. The guy was a rock star sex god! He always had been. “Fuck, you do!” Running his hands through his hair, he
shook his head at me. “Baby, how I am with you…my need to fuck you like my life depends on it…that’s only ever been with
you. When we’re connected that way, I can’t explain it. It’s better than any drug or alcohol high I’ve ever experienced. It’s pure
fucking love and lust, mixed together to create ultimate perfection. I can never get enough of it.”
“You’ve got to stop taking my breath away like that,” I gasped, moving to straddle his lap. “I find it hard to imagine it’s
not always been like this for you. You’ve been with so many women.”
“None of them ever felt like you.” His hands cupped my butt, dragging me over the bulge that was growing in his pants.
“Look at what you do to me. We have our last meeting in fifteen minutes. When they walk in, they’re going to find us fucking
right here on this couch at the rate we’re going.”
“Your words make me feel so beautiful. When you touch my body, I come alive. You leave me defenceless, Alex. After
all this time, I’m still breaking apart piece by piece for you. I’ve never known a love like this.” His lips were fierce against
mine, his hand cupping the side of my face, the moment I finished talking.
“Fuck, I need to be inside you!”
“We should save it for later. Build up all this sexual tension,” I smouldered, pulling on his bottom lip. We were
practically drying humping each other.
“I’d say the sexual tension is already at its peak,” he groaned in to my chest, trying to undo the buttons on my dress.
“Why won’t these fucking open?” he growled, pulling at the material.
“They aren’t real buttons!” I snorted, pushing off his chest and getting up. I threw him a pillow which Alex caught in
mid air. “You might want to hide jackhammer. He’s trying to break free from your pants.” I had no idea what self control I used
to climb off his lap, but the predatory look in his eyes told me I was in trouble later. Mmmmm…I couldn’t wait!
Kingsley walked in five minutes later. “You won’t believe it! MuseX has agreed to meet you, Alex! They’ll be in LA
next week and want to arrange a meeting. If we can get them on a three month contract, we might get ahead of the bidding game!
They’d be perfect to produce Central Demons’ new album.” It seemed Alex’s plans were all coming together. We had the pick
of producers, one up-and-coming band, and four other artists wanting to sign with us.
The last producer we saw for the day was Rob Joyce. He was a classic rock producer, and the person Alex was most
excited to meet.
“So, what can I do for you, Alex?” Rob asked, opening a bottle of water. “When Kingsley Womack calls saying he has
a proposition for you, it’s an offer you can’t refuse.”
“I’m starting my own record label,” Alex replied. “I want you contracted to the label for six months.”
“Alex, I don’t do new talent. You know this. I produce music for icons and legends. Unless you’re going to make new
music, I’m not interested.” Holy Shit! Was that what Alex was planning? He hadn’t mentioned any of it to me!
“What if it was Cody, Masen and myself?” Holy fucking shit! New Steel Roses music?
“No Matt?” Rob inquired, tilting his head. “Have you two finally had one fight too many?”
“It won’t be Steel Roses music. The band is still contractually obligated to Rock Records. This will be something new.
A collaboration on a new album of mine.”
“I’m certainly listening. What timescale do you have?” All I could do was sit there with my mouth open and listen to
their conversation. Alex was doing an album with Cody and Mason. That was insane!
“Towards the end of next year. We haven’t managed to pin down any time this year. I have a wedding and record label
to launch.” Wait! We hadn’t even set a date for the wedding yet!
“That would work for me. I’ll leave my diary blank for you guys toward the end of next year. I can’t wait to work with
you, Alex. I have a feeling we’ll do great things!” Shaking his hand, Alex gave me a side glance. Yep, I still looked as if I was
catching flies. Kingsley saw Rob out as I turned to Alex.
“You fucker! You never told me you were going to make new music!” I slapped his arm playfully. “Let alone with Cody
and Mason. This is freaking HUGE!” It had been over ten years since we’d had new Steel Roses music. It didn’t matter that it
wouldn’t be labelled that way because that’s what it would be. Every Steel Roses fan would agree! The band name didn’t
really matter; it was the music that counted. “This album will go global. You know that, right? Steel Roses fans have waited ten
years for this and it’s actually happening!”
“This is why I couldn’t tell you. You’d leak it to the entire Steel Roses fan club,” he mocked. “This isn’t going to be a
Steel Roses album, Straight Lace. Rock Records owns that franchise. This will be more of an ‘Alex Harbour and Friends’
album.” Alex was a damn genius. That album alone was all that we needed to launch our record label.
“Well, I’d say that was a good day's work,” Kingsley called from the corner of the room. “I’ll leave you lovebirds to it.
Alex, I’ll see you in the morning. I’ve booked the studio for ten so you can try out that recording equipment you weren’t sure
about.”
“Sounds good. Thanks, Kingsley.” Alex’s eyes didn’t even leave mine as he spoke. I swallowed hard, my breathing
erratic. Upon hearing the main door close, Alex stood up. I was paralysed where I sat by his gaze alone. Shit! I forgot we had
unfinished business from earlier.
“You’re going to wish you’d let me fuck you quickly earlier,” he snarled. “Now I get to play with you all night long.
I’ll take my sweet time, too. You’re going to be begging for my cock by the time I decide to fuck you.” Oh God! “Stand up,
Straight Lace.”
“I’m not sure I can.” My voice was raspy; I hardly recognized it. When he held his hand out to me, I grabbed it and
allowed him to pull me to my feet.
He started running his hands down my body. When he reached the hem of my dress, he pulled it up over my head and
threw it behind him.
“So fucking beautiful,” he whispered, tracing my red lace bra with his fingertips. “Walk to the bedroom. I want to
watch you. You look so fuckable in that red underwear and black heels.” Alex kept a few paces behind me as I walked. My
skin was heating up, knowing he was tracking my every move. I could hear his clothes hit the floor behind me as we walked.
“Stop right there,” he ordered when I reached the foot of the bed. Coming up behind me, Alex gripped my hair, tugging it to one
side to give him better access to trail kisses down my neck. Gooseflesh rose on my skin as his lips moved across my sensitive
skin. He continued kissing behind my ear while he undid my bra, removing it from my body before gripping my breasts firmly.
“You were made just for me, Straight Lace, I swear.” I leaned back against him and closed my eyes, reaching up and wrapping
my arms around his neck to help steady myself. One of his hands moved lower and lower, the anticipation of his touch on my
most sensitive skin growing until finally, he slid into my panties. I groaned the moment Alex’s fingers made contact with my
clit, his other arm wrapped around my waist to support me as he continued with his glorious torture. “You’re not allowed to
cum yet,” he whispered against my ear a few minutes later. I was rocking against his hand, trying to get more friction. He’d
been playing with me for too long and I felt like I was going to explode.
“Fuck, please…please, Alex!” I begged, almost clawing at his neck.
“You need to beg better than that, baby!” Removing his hand from my overheated sex, he pulled my panties down my
legs. “Lie on your back. I want these legs wide open for me.” While doing as he asked, I noticed Alex was naked and ready.
When he saw me admiring him, he stroked his cock. I licked my lips. “You’re not getting this yet, baby.” He chuckled as I
pouted. “I’m going to get you a lot more worked up than this before finally fucking that sweet pussy of yours so hard you won’t
be able to walk in the morning.” Prowling toward me, he grabbed my ankles and pulled my sex straight toward his waiting
tongue. I cried out at his onslaught, my hands weaving into his hair. Alex licked the whole of my sex before sucking my clit into
his mouth.
“Jesus! Fucking! Christ!” I moaned out, feeling Alex insert his fingers inside me while he continued small, fast licks on
my clit. I was building fast, arching off the bed as electricity flowed through my entire body. Alex pulled me closer to his
mouth as he continued to feast on my sex. I was so fucking close. My fingers tightened in his hair, and I pulled hard, making him
groan.
“Not yet, baby,” he cooed, removing his tongue and fingers. NO! I needed to cum so fucking bad; my body was
humming for it!
“Fuck! Alex, please!” The desperation in my voice was clear as I looked down at him.
“What do you need?”
“Your cock! NOW! Please! Please!”
Hovering over me, he placed the tip of his cock near my entrance, teasing me. “You want this?” I lifted my hips, trying
to make him slide into me. He cautioned me with his eyes. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. I’ll make you wait longer.”
“Please,” I pleaded. “I need you! I want you to make me cum, Alex. I want you to fuck me!” Something in my eyes must
have worked. With one deep thrust, he was inside me.
“Fuck, every fucking time! Your pussy feels so fucking good.” Alex stilled in me for a moment, closing his eyes as he
tried to regain some kind of control. “You want me to fuck you?” When I nodded frantically, he pulled out and thrust back
inside me hard. “Like that?”
“Fuck! Yes, just like that!” I hooked my legs around his waist and waited for the onslaught. I didn’t have to wait for
long; it began seconds later. Alex started to fuck me hard and fast. He grabbed my waist and lifted my back off the bed, which
allowed him to thrust deeper.
“Fuck, it’s like I can’t get deep enough,” he snarled, wrapping one hand around my throat but not using any pressure. It
helped to keep me in position. Alex was almost balls deep inside my sex now. “Fuck, baby! I can feel you clench around my
cock. Are you fucking close?” Alex closed his eyes when I nodded. “Wait for me. Don’t fall yet.” It was difficult; the sparks
were already starting to ignite throughout my body. I tried to hold them back, but Alex’s cock sliding roughly in and out of me
felt too fucking good. With a loud cry, I let go, digging my nails into his back as my climax took over my senses. My release
seemed to last forever. With Alex holding back my orgasm, it intensified every sensation. Alex came moments after me, then
collapsed on my chest.
“Fuck! That was worth the wait,” I panted, running my hand through his sweat covered hair.
“You are a fucking goddess,” Alex muttered against my chest before licking my nipples one at a time. “I believe I owe
you a few more orgasms, though.” He had a wicked gleam in his eye. How did he still have energy for more? This man and his
sex drive might be the death of me! Oh, who am I kidding? My sex drive for him was just as bad. I gave in willingly. Who
needs sleep anyway? We could sleep in the morning.
 CHAPTER THREE

had no idea what time Alex and I eventually fell asleep, but it definitely wasn’t until the early hours of the morning. I
I stretched as I woke up, my body still humming with satisfaction.
When I finally opened my eyes, Alex lay on his side, watching me. “Good Morning, beautiful,” he beamed, kissing my
lips. “I’ve got to leave for my meeting with Kingsley soon.” Wow! Was it that time already? “Milly called. She’s taking you for
coffee and shopping in an hour. Ben will escort you.”
“No, you should take Ben. I don’t mind one of the other security guys coming with me.” I yawned, trying to look at the
time.
“No, Ben will go with you. I’ve got a meeting with Oliver at Kirkham Industries after going downtown to the recording
studio. I can’t see Oliver allowing paparazzi anywhere near that place. You know how private he is.”
“Okay, but be careful. Watch out for groupies,” I giggled as he rolled on top of me. “You know they turn up
everywhere!”
“Mmm…you’re right,” he purred against my lips. “There was one in my bed last night.” His lips travelled down my
body until he stopped at my Steel Roses tattoo on my hip. “No, wait! She’s still here!” When he tried to open my legs wider, I
slapped his back playfully and chuckled.
“You’re going to be late!” His mouth was making its way to my inner thigh. “Alex!”
Huffing, he moved back up my body. “Cody is meeting us for dinner tonight.”
“Damn it! I didn’t bring my band shirt.” Alex rolled his eyes at me, pecking my lips once last time.
“Ask Milly if she wants to join us when you see her later. I should be back around five.”
“Okay. Tell Oliver I said ‘hello,’ and Jade, too, if she’s there.” They seemed to be enjoying married life. Jade gave
birth to their first child a few months ago: a beautiful baby girl. It made me wonder about Alex. Did he want kids? It wasn’t
something we had really spoken about, so I had no idea where he stood on the issue.
“Where has your mind gone?” Alex mused, slipping into his jacket. He was watching me intently. “You’ve got that
distant look in your eyes.”
“Do you want children?” Alex’s eyes widened. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t. I’ve just realised we’ve never spoken
about it.”
“Do you want children?” His eyes were soft as he spoke, searching my face.
“I haven’t really thought about it, but we are getting married. Isn’t that the next step?”
“It is for normal people, but we’re not exactly normal, are we?”
“You don’t want children then?” I honestly couldn't read him right now.
“Nat, this isn’t an easy subject for me. Can we talk about this later? It’s not a no, I simply want to give this conversation
the time it deserves, okay?” He came back over to the bed when I nodded my head. “You really do pick your moments for a
deep conversation.” He chuckled, kissing my forehead before he left.

Family in general wasn’t an easy subject for Alex. Even after these last few years, he had yet to give me a true account
of his childhood. In the beginning, I had believed that his parents were alive, but after learning that his biological mother died
of cancer when Alex was ten, I’d begun to piece some of my suspicions together. His father had moved to America after his
mother died. Alex had mentioned numerous times that his father had been an alcoholic, like him, so I suspected Alex had been
left in the care of an Uncle or Aunt on his father’s side. If it had been anyone on his mother’s side, my guess was that he would
have stayed in the UK. There was so much about my damaged rock star that I had yet to uncover. He was a complex man that
needed to be stripped layer by layer, very delicately. I couldn’t afford for his past to make his demons resurface. Dealing with
an addiction that had once helped block all those broken pieces of him, meant that if he went down that rabbit hole, his need for
alcohol and drugs might recur. I couldn’t allow that; he'd only been clean for six months. The fight was still there in his eyes
some days, and I knew how much of a battle it was.
Maybe bringing up children hadn’t been the best idea, but now that it was out there, I wanted to hear what Alex had to
say. I loved him; at some point in our lives, I wanted to give him a child. Our child: a creation of our love, made from the best
of both of us. What better gift could I give him? Whatever Alex thought of himself, I knew him better. He would be an amazing
father. The love he felt for me would only be amplified on a child. There was no doubt in my mind about that. I had all the time
in the world to make him see it, too.
Milly walked into the suite while I was still getting ready. “Well, Alex is a lucky bastard,” she commented, watching
me slip into my black heels. I was dressing a lot sexier these days, a far cry from the professional attire I had always worn. I
was marrying Alex Harbour, after all. Looking good at his side was important. I was in a fitted pair of light jeans, a black lace
top, and my jacket. Having Diego, fashion expert extraordinaire, at my fingertips was a huge help. He’d re-designed my entire
wardrobe, pairing things together for me that I never would have thought of. “You have no right looking this hot so early.”
Embracing me in a tight hug, she winked at me.
“If I’m going to be chased by the press, I might as well look good doing it,” I snorted, grabbing my bag as Ben checked
his watch. “Where are we heading first, anyway?”
“For a coffee. I’ve booked us a nice, exclusive place. I need all the gossip on Alex’s new venture and the wedding
plans, of course. You two are my new favourite couple!” Rolling eyes, I motioned to Ben that we were ready to leave.
Milly had booked us a table at a stylish coffee house popular with celebrities in Manhattan. At her request, we were
seated out of view from the large, bay windows at the front of the shop.
“How is our favourite rock star, then?” Milly asked once our drinks had been delivered to our table.
“Busy,” I sighed. “He’s taking everything in his stride. You should have seen all the producers that were eating out of
his hand yesterday. Some wanted to eat more than his hands.” That skinny bitch came into my mind.
“You must be talking about Maya!” Milly snorted. “I heard she was in town.” How would she know that? Had Alex and
Maya been that close back in the day?
“What’s the deal with her and Alex, anyway?”
“Nat, she’s nothing to him. She hung off his dick a few times in the nineties, but that’s it.”
“No orgies?”
That made Milly spit her coffee out, laughing loudly. “Who told you about the orgies? Alex?”
“She was boasting about them yesterday.” I ran my hands through my hair, stressed. “She was eye fucking him
throughout the entire meeting, too. What was his obsession with blondes when he was younger? I honestly don’t get it. Wait!
Was Ness blonde?” Why did I even ask that?
“Yes. Ness was blonde.” Fuck! I tried to swallow past the lump in my throat at that revelation. Had he been trying to
fill the void she’d left behind? “You have to stop comparing yourself to her, Nat. Alex fucked just as many brunettes and red
heads back in the day, too.”
“She’s the only other woman Alex has loved. It’s hard not to.”
“You can’t compare yourself to a ghost. Ness…well, she was an evil piece of shit! All she thought about was herself!
She was the one who got Alex hooked on drugs in the first place! Did he ever tell you that?” He’d explained that they’d done
drugs together, but that was it! “I’m guessing he gave you the sugar coated version of Vanessa Brooks. Do you want to hear the
true story? You can’t ever tell Alex that I told you, though.” Shit! Yes, I wanted the true story! “I better get us another coffee.
This could take a while.”
 After a few hours, I sat there flabbergasted. Vanessa Brooks had been toxic for every man that had ever fallen under her
spell. One thing I hadn’t realized was that she was a couple of years older than Alex and Matt!
She’d met the band when Alex was only sixteen. Apparently, she had been dating his billionaire friend, Oliver at the
time. The moment her eyes fell on Alex when he went on stage, she wanted him and split with Oliver. They had a one night
stand. Steel Roses and his music was all Alex wanted to focus on. He wasn’t looking for a woman on his arm and knew Matt
liked her and didn’t want to cause problems with his friend. Ness thought he was denying his feelings toward her, which she
saw as a challenge. When he never returned her affections, she used Matt to try and make Alex jealous. When Steel Roses got
their first big break, Alex got stage fright at the sight of the large crowd. That night, he got his first taste of drugs when Ness
slipped them into his mouth with her tongue, explaining that they would give him the confidence to become a god. He was
addicted to her and the drugs from that night on. The sex mixed with the high he got from the drugs was the ultimate elixir to
Alex. One kiss. That’s all it took for their six year affair, which I knew a little about, to begin. Steel Roses rose to fame, their
popularity growing to epic proportions. All the while, Ness kept Alex hooked with drugs and sex, all behind Matt’s back. Gina
knew about the affair, as did Milly and Diego. Even his label knew about it, and Alex was ordered to keep the affair secret or
finish it. Somehow, Matt had never suspected, and the band was making too much money for a rift to occur between the
members. Alex was trapped, loving someone he couldn’t have, and because of that, he spiralled out of control. He couldn’t see
it, but Ness was toxic for him. She would goad him, determined to make him pay for not choosing her over the band. Ness
made his life a living hell, but Alex couldn’t keep away.
The night Ness took her life, Alex had explained to Milly and Diego he couldn’t live that way anymore. He had finally
seen sense, and realised he needed to set her free, make her understand that they were never going to be together. It wasn’t for
the sake of the band, it was for Matt, who had become a brother to him. Alex knew if he carried on with the drugs and alcohol,
he’d be dead within the next ten years. His addiction was at a dangerous level, and with Ness in his life, nothing was going to
change. His love for her was slowly killing him.
Something deep inside made him hope that one day, if he was lucky enough, he’d find a better life. Tears streamed
down my face as Millie finished telling me the truth that was too hard for Alex to share. All this time…he had been dreaming
of a love like ours.
“Do you understand now?” Milly asked as we sat in the back of the SUV. “He’s been dreaming of the kind of love you
two share all his life. You don’t have to compare yourself to her anymore. You are everything that is good for Alex. Ness was
everything that was bad.”
“It’s hard to believe that all his demons were caused by one woman.”
“Alex loves fiercely, you know that. It’s nice to see him consumed by the right woman, though.” Milly nudged me as the
car door opened. Shit! Where had the paparazzi come from? “Word must have gotten out that you and Alex are in town. Come
on! Let’s do some shopping! Flip them the bird if you want.” I wasn’t going to do that! With my head held high, I put my
sunglasses on and allowed Ben to control the crowd as Milly and I walked into the shops.

“How was your day with Milly?” Alex looked tired as he joined me in the hotel’s VIP bar. I hadn’t been back long.
“Good! She made me buy too much stuff, though. There was this dress for thirty grand that she insisted I buy. I kept
putting it back, but she’d pick it up again. She’s worse than Diego!”
“I had to cope with both of them for over ten years, Straight Lace! How do you think I coped?”
“I have no idea,” I smiled, touching his face. “How did things go today?”
“It’s been an interesting day. I had a surprise visitor at the recording studio.” Tilting my head, I urged him to go on.
“Gina came to see me.”
“Gina! As in your ex-manager, Gina?”
“Yep. She left Rock Records. Apparently, the label is moving in a direction she doesn’t like.” If he was about to tell me
that she was joining Harbour Records, I wouldn’t be able to hold in my excitement! “She’s in, baby!”
“In? What…with us?” Gina Rosewood! The best band manager in the world! This was incredible!
“Yep. She’s got a few bands that she wants to run past me next month.”
“Holy fuck! Alex, this is amazing!” I placed my hands on his face and kissed him passionately.
“Oliver is happy with the business plan,” he continued when I pulled back. “He was so impressed with your
presentation, he said you have a job with him anytime.”
“Well, it’s good to have options,” I teased, watching his look darken.
“Oh, baby. You don’t have options anymore. I’ve made it perfectly clear that you’re mine!” His hands ran over my
thighs. Even through my jeans, my body shuddered at his touch. “Come on. We better get ready for dinner. We’re heading out in
a few hours. Did Milly say she was free?”
“Yeah, she’s meeting us there. With a surprise.”
“A surprise?” Alex questioned. In the dark as much as him, I shrugged. “I fucking hate her surprises. Was she hassling
for us to go on her talk show again?”
“She didn’t mention it this time, no.”
“That’s something, at least.” A group of women walked into the bar, gasping and giggling in our direction. “Let’s get out
of here before I have to start taking selfies with all those women.” Feeling empowered by everything I’d heard today from
Milly, I moved to straddle his lap, glancing over to make sure all the women were watching us. “Are you trying to cause a
scene?” Alex smirked, running his hands over my legs until they cupped my butt. “Because it’s working.”
“I’m only claiming what’s mine. If it makes other people uncomfortable, that’s their problem,” I purred, capturing his
mouth with mine. Alex groaned against my lips, his hands combing through my hair. “Upstairs, now!” I breathed once we
parted. We were both giggling as Alex carried me to the elevator at the side of the bar. Alex had me pinned against the wall the
moment the lift reached the penthouse, his lips travelling down toward my chest.
“I’ll help you shower. I can do your back,” Alex murmured, setting me on my feet. “No, forget that…I can do you in the
shower.” I was going to be exhausted by the end of this trip!

Alex had made reservations for dinner at a beautiful restaurant in DUMBO. It was minimalistic in design, the tables
were so far apart that we had complete privacy. “You look stunning,” Alex muttered, kissing my shoulder as he helped me out
of my jacket and into my seat. It was such a simple gesture, but a few years ago, I’d have never thought this side of him existed.
Cody arrived a few minutes after us. “It’s good to see that Milly is late, as usual. We won’t wait for her. I’ll get them to bring
some menus over.” Alex sighed. “Where did you find this place? It’s lovely.”
“Kingsley mentioned it yesterday. They don’t leak information about their celebrity guests. The food is meant to be
amazing, too!” The waitress came over excitedly to take our drink order and hand us each a menu. “She seemed a bit excited,”
he mused.
“Hmm…I wonder why.” I licked my lips and I let my eyes roam over his body. Alex looked delicious tonight, in fitted
black trousers and a crisp white shirt. I was glad he’d taken his leather jacket off so I could focus.
“I’m feeling like steak,” Cody grinned, giving me a wink. “How did all the meetings go with the producers?”
“Rob Joyce is in,” Alex told him. “He’s pencilled us in for the end of next year.”
“Dude, that’s incredible!”
As I glanced at the menu, I heard the clicking of heels and a voice I knew all too well. “Hello, Babycakes! Did you
miss me?” Diego stood behind Milly, looking as fabulous as ever. He wasn’t due back from Paris for another few days, so it
was a shock to see him.
“Diego!” I beamed, standing up to hug him tightly. “We weren’t expecting you back yet! What have you done with
Ralph?” He never went anywhere without that dog.
 “He’s with a friend I'm staying with.” A friend? “Alex, how did you manage to dress yourself this well without me?”
Diego joked, taking him in. “Damn! No wonder you still win sexiest man on hotrockers.com.”
“You still check that website?” Milly sniggered. “D, that’s so outdated. You can find wank bank material on better sites
these days.”
“What number am I?” Cody joked.
“Forget about that,” Alex interrupted. “Who is this friend you’ve left Ralph with?” Alex wanted the gossip as much as
me. Once all of us had sat down and ordered, Diego told us everything.
The man was a fashion designer that he’d met in Paris called Remi Daniel. Diego had hated the guy to begin with, but
once he discovered that Remi had a Dalmatian called Dotty, well, things played out almost the same as the classic Disney film.
Diego seemed besotted with Remi.
“You’re telling me there's a guy you want to date?” Alex could hardly believe what he was saying. “I’ve known you for
what…twenty years, and you’ve never wanted to date a guy. You’ve fucked plenty, but…”
“Alex, ladies are present,” Diego cautioned, giving him the bitch brow.
“I only see one lady,” Alex teased, looking at me.
“Fucker, I will slap you. Okay, I love the ladies, but that doesn’t mean I’m not one! Take that back, asshole!” Milly
snorted from across the table. “This is fucking insane! Diego has a boyfriend!”
“Jesus! Don’t call him that! I’m not twelve! Remi has asked me to move in with him here in New York, and I’ve said
yes!” Diego screeched, clapping his hands together excitedly. Wait! That meant he and Ralph would be leaving the Hollywood
Mansion. Alex stroked my knee under the table, noticing my face. Diego had always been there for me when things got to be too
much. What would I do when he was living in New York?
“That’s amazing news!” I beamed, taking a sip of water. When Alex had been at his worst, Diego had always known
what to do. What if I couldn’t look after and protect him without Diego’s help? “When are you moving?”
“Next week. Ralph is going to stay with Remi and Dotty while I pack my shit up.” That soon? “Babycakes, are you
pouting?”
“I’ll miss you, that’s all. I’m so happy for you, though.”
“You’re marrying my best friend! If you think you won’t see me every month, you’re an idiot. We have a wedding to
plan, remember?” Diego reached his hand across the table for mine. “Once you two are married, you’ll need your own space.
With me gone, it means Shane and Liv can move into my self contained apartment. It will give you and Alex more privacy in
the main house. Who knows what the future holds for you two? You might need more space.”
“Knowing Alex, he’ll put in a kinky playroom for them,” Cody guffawed, pouring us all more water. I loved that Cody,
Milly and Diego didn’t consume alcohol around Alex. We were all drinking soft drinks tonight. It made it so much easier for
him.
Things really were starting to change. The record label was taking shape, and Alex and I could finally start wedding
planning with Diego’s help, even if he would be living in New York.
These next six months were going to fly by as we began to plan the intimate wedding of the century. It made me wonder
how different my life was going to be once I married Alex. I was going to be Mrs. Natasha Harbour! There would be many
changes coming my way in the future, and I couldn’t wait! I was going to be married to a freaking rock icon! How was I
supposed to prepare for that? Just breathe, White! You’ve got this!
 CHAPTER FOUR
Four Months Later

“Y ou didn’t?” I questioned as Alex helped me off the boat. “We had agreed on Aruba. This place was way too expensive!”
I should have known he’d have one last surprise before we got married in three days. With the record label thriving with
the first four acts we’d signed, Alex and I quickly set our wedding date. Diego was an unstoppable force when it came to
planning the wedding. He’d organized the whole thing in four months. After visiting six destinations, we had settled on a
private island in Aruba, or so I’d thought, but as I stepped foot on the ridiculously priced island in The British Virgin Islands, I
couldn’t help but smile. This place had taken my breath away when we visited a couple of months ago.
“I told you money wasn’t an object. I could read your face Straight Lace. You wanted this island, but didn’t want to
admit it.” Pulling me into his chest, his hand ran down the bare part of my back. “We’re only doing this once. I want this to be
perfect for you.” Alex knew me too well; it seemed I couldn’t hide anything from him.
“It would have been perfect in Aruba and half the price,” I tittered, putting my hair up into a bun. Damn, it was warm
already. I was glad Diego persuaded me to go with the lighter lace material on my dress…wait! The fucker! He knew Alex had
picked this island and hadn’t said a word to me! “Diego knew it was this island, didn’t he?”
“Of course he did. He’s made most of the arrangements. I still have a few more surprises for you, though.”
“How are you this wonderful?” I wrapped my arms around his neck while Alex brushed his lips against mine.
“You bring this side out of me, baby. If I’m being honest, I surprise myself most days.” Some guys came down the jetty
to take our bags. “It’s just us on the island for tonight. We’re staying in the smaller house on the other side of the island until the
big day. It gives Diego time to get the main house ready. He doesn’t want us to see anything until the actual wedding. He’ll
come and collect you the night before. Lots of people are arriving tomorrow.”
“Do you trust Diego with that much responsibility?” I mocked, running my hands down his white, linen shirt.
“Shane and Liv have been helping. I’m sure they’ve kept him in check. If I trust Diego with anything, it’s organizing
and putting on a good party. We don’t have anything to worry about.” Sweeping me off my feet, Alex gave me a wicked grin.
“All you need to do is relax for the next few days. Everything is taken care of!”
“Am I not even allowed to walk?”
“Once I’m done with you, you won’t be able to walk for the rest of the day.” Well, I wasn’t going to complain against
those plans! In three short days, I was going to be this amazing man’s wife. Alex could do whatever he wanted to me.

I lay draped over Alex a few hours later. He was making small circles on my back with the tips of his fingers. The
smaller house was as stunning as the main villa. The living space was round with an open floor plan. Two large, cool blue
sofas were in the centre of the room. I could only imagine how incredible the sunsets must be here, but knew I wouldn’t have to
wait too long to find out. The bedroom was in a separate building at the side of the infinity pool. From the large king size bed,
you could see what seemed like the entire ocean. I would have been happy staying in the place for our wedding, but of course,
Alex and Diego had bigger plans.
“This place really is paradise,” I whispered, caressing his chest. “I’m not sure I’ll ever want to leave.”
“I’m sure we could run Harbour Records from here. Did you want me to inquire how much the island would cost to
buy?” I had no idea if Alex was joking or not, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he were completely serious. “It would solve all
our issues with the paparazzi.”
“They’d use a drone,” I snorted. “We’ll never be free of them.”
 “I’m glad nothing was leaked to the media about this place. They’ll all be rushing to Aruba right now, trying to get
photos of the bride and groom before their big day.” That was all part of the big plan. “By keeping this place a secret from you,
it meant I could protect you.”
“Alex, I…”
“I’ll always protect you and the family I want with you.” We had never continued that conversation from our trip to
New York, so his words took me by surprise. Truthfully, I’d been too scared to bring it up again, fearing that we wanted
something different. It took my breath away that he’d chosen to bring it up now.
“You do?” I gasped. “I was afraid to ask…”
“I know, baby. It’s not what you think, though. I’ve thought about starting a family with you since the moment I fell for
you.” His face was pained and troubled. “It’s just…well, fuck…Ness, she faked a pregnancy to try and make me tell Matt I
wanted to be with her. Back then, the thought of becoming a father scared the shit out of me. I was in no fit state to help bring up
a child. When you brought up the topic, everything resurfaced, and I had to work through my issues. I’m sorry it took me so
long, but I wanted to say this as a wedding gift.” I looked at him, confused. “Whenever you’re ready to start trying, let’s go for
it.” My heart soared at his words.
“Really? You’re sure?” With a soft smile, he nodded.
“How did you find out Ness had faked the pregnancy?” What if she’d actually been pregnant? This was something even
Milly didn’t know. Ness had truly been evil to the core!
“When I freaked out and went on a four day bender, I came back to find her stoned. I yelled at her, worrying about the
baby. She laughed in my face, telling me it was all a lie to test my devotion. I had failed in her eyes. We stopped our affair for
almost eight months after that. That was the longest we’d ever been apart.”
“What a fucking crazy bitch,” I seethed, moving to straddle him. As if on instinct, Alex slid his hands up my legs.
“We’re going to have a perfect life together and a family that will love you unconditionally. You know that, right?”
“I know, baby. My life finally started when you walked into it. If you want a whole football team of kids, I’ll fucking
give that to you!” At his words, I crashed my lips against his. The thought of giving Alex a family that loved him…it consumed
me. If anything could mend the broken pieces of my rock star, a child’s love surely could!

Our guest list was only around forty people. All we wanted to share the day with were close family and friends. I say
family, but it was only my family that was attending. Alex hadn’t invited the aunt and uncle that had brought him up. His family
consisted of the entourage that had been with him throughout his music career.
Diego and Milly were the first to arrive the next day. Alex and I didn’t see much of them until the evening, when they
came to whisk me away to the other side of the island.
“Well, this is it then,” I breathed against Alex’s lips. “I’ll see you on the beach tomorrow.” How did I even get here? It
was difficult to fathom that I would be marrying my childhood crush tomorrow.
“I can’t wait, Straight Lace.” Alex sighed, kissing my lips softly. “Don’t be late.”
“Yeah, yeah, okay. Come on, Babycakes, we need to get you to your pamper station. There will be plenty of time for the
mushy stuff tomorrow.” Diego took my hand in his and led me away. “Have you been using that night cream I gave you?” Milly
stayed behind to chat with Alex for a minute before following us.
“Of course I have,” I answered half-heartedly. I was missing Alex already. Diego had turned into a control freak these
last few weeks, and although I knew he would make sure I was beautiful for my wedding day, I wasn’t looking forward to
spending the night without my rock star. Having Alex with me would have no doubt lessened the list of things Diego was sure
to demand. Touching my cheeks to gain my attention, he gave me his best bitch brow. “I’ve been keeping hydrated, too!”
“You need to look flawless! It’s going to be an early night for you! No alcohol either!” Pouting, I followed him to the
main house. All my family and friends were waiting for me when we arrived. I hugged my parents first while Liv bounced
around excitedly.
“Can you believe we’re here?” Liv beamed, hugging me. “This island is beautiful!” Looking out at the turquoise water
that extended as far as the eye could see, and the flamingos enjoying the evening, I knew what she meant.
“Alright,” Diego clapped his hands. “You’ve got the bride for two hours, then she’s having her pamper and an early
night, okay everyone?” I don’t think anyone was going to argue with him.
Having a head-to-toe massage actually helped me sleep later that night. My body had been moisturised so well that my
skin was glistening and extremely smooth. As long as I got the rest Diego insisted upon, I would be set. When I closed my eyes,
I pictured Alex on the beach waiting for me tomorrow. It sent me into a blissful, relaxing sleep.

I was working to regulate my breathing, on the verge of hyperventilating. I didn’t even recognize the vision in the mirror
before me. That couldn’t be me, could it? My dark hair was in soft long ringlets that trickled off my shoulders. Growing my
hair out for the wedding had been a good idea. My bridal makeup looked elegant and timeless, and my skin was flawless.
Diego had done an incredible job organising everything!
“It’s time to get you in your gown,” Liv called, standing there in her sage green bridesmaid dress. She looked beautiful
with her hair pinned up in an elegant bun.
Taking a deep breath, I got up and allowed my mum and Liv to help me finish getting ready. My gown was an off-the-
shoulder, pure lace, mermaid cut with a long, sweeping train. It showed off my figure well. I had a surprise for Alex
underneath, and knew he would enjoy finding my sexy white corset and hold ups later.
“Oh, la mia bambina!” my mother cooed, looking at me. “You’re going to have your father in tears when he sees you
like this!”
“Wait until Alex sees her, Mrs. White! She’s going to cripple him looking like this!” Liv sobbed. “Oh, crap! I’m crying
already!”
Diego was with Alex as his best bitch! Milly was his usher. I couldn’t think of anyone else Alex would want by his side
more than his closet and oldest friends. It made me smile to think about seeing them as I came down the aisle.
Walking down the steps of the main house, I could hear the faint chatter of voices and the harpist playing softly. Alex
Harbour, my rock star, was beyond those palm trees, waiting for me.
My dad stood at the bottom of the staircase. His eyes were wet with tears. “Oh, Nat! You’re a vision!”
“Thanks, Dad.” I hugged him tightly and then linked my arm through his. “Let’s do this.”
“I’m proud of you, Natty,” my dad whispered as we took our places near a group of palm trees. Liv turned to me, giving
a thumbs up as the harpist began to strum my entrance song: the strings to Wonderlust. Alex didn’t know which song I had
picked to walk down the aisle. Hopefully, he would recognize the melody.
Liv began walking first. I counted to ten, then squeezed my dad’s arm to signal that it was time.
The moment we stepped onto the beach, all I saw was Alex. He was standing under an arch of white roses, in a beige
fitted suit with a small, green flower in his lapel. His gaze was fixated on me. In my peripheral vision, I could see that people
were watching me. I could also make out the candles and palm fronds that fashioned the aisle as my dad and I slowly made our
way down it. One step at a time. I can do this!
The closer I drew to Alex, the more I noticed his tender stare. Was that awe, love, bewilderment? His eyes held so
much emotion.
Finally face-to-face, my dad kissed my cheek, then took my hand and placed it in Alex’s. “Straight Lace, you are
breathtaking!” Alex’s voice cracked a little as he spoke. “Are you ready?”
“I’ve never been more ready,” I beamed as we turned to the minister.

Mrs. Natasha Harbour. Nat Harbour. Mrs. Harbour…. It didn’t matter how many times I said it in my head, I still
couldn’t quite believe it. I remembered scribbling those words on my school books when I was younger. All the girls my age
did. I never actually thought my fantasies would become reality. How was this my life now? I was Alex Harbour’s wife! More
importantly, Alex Harbour was my husband!
It had been a long day. Alex and I had slipped away from our wedding party so we could be alone. He had taken his
jacket off a few hours ago and now stood there with his shirt mostly unbuttoned, watching me with a hungry look on his face.
“Come here, Mrs. Harbour,” he purred, beckoning me with his finger. I fell into his arms willingly, and when I did, he kissed
me passionately. His hands weaved into my hair as his tongue invaded my mouth. Alex had never tasted so good! The
knowledge that he was all mine was exhilarating! “Spin round. As beautiful as you look in this dress, it has to go!” Pulling on
the lace straps as I turned, Alex made quick work of removing my gown. His breath hitched at the sight of me in my corset,
small white thong, and hold ups. His hands were in my panties within seconds. “I’m going to claim you and this pussy, right
now! You’ll truly be mine after!” As he rubbed my clit, my eyes rolled to the back of my head. “You are so fucking beautiful,
Straight Lace! My cock sprang to attention the moment I saw you at the end of that aisle.” I’d lost my words and couldn’t reply
to him. His fingers in my sex felt too good! Alex pushed me face down on the bed, my ass high in the air. When I felt a sharp tug
and a ripping sound, I realised Alex had removed my panties in the most primal way. Fuck, he’d ripped them clean off! I felt a
gush of wetness at the thought. His hand was still working on my clit, trying to coax out an orgasm. “Come on, baby! Give it up.
I own this pussy now!” My sex was getting wetter each time he rubbed his thumb against my clit. After a few more minutes, I
came around his fingers, digging my hands into the duvet. Lifting my butt a little higher and widening my legs, with one deep
thrust, Alex was inside me. His attack was rapid; he was fucking me like his life depended on it. He might have been fucking
me hard, but Alex was taking his time, prolonging his release, slowing down if I was building too quickly. “Holy fucking shit!
Baby, you feel so good!” I could hear how wet I was each time our bodies slapped together. Alex sliding in and out of me only
made me wetter.
I could feel another release starting to build. It felt like this one might be my undoing. “Fuck, Alex…I…I’m coming
again.”
“Wait for me, Straight Lace. I’m so fucking close.” My orgasm shot through my body like an avalanche, taking the last
bit of energy I had left inside my body. Alex stilled moments later, filling me completely. “Now you’re mine,” he purred into
my ear before slumping down onto my back.
“I’ve always been yours,” I whispered, enjoying the blissful come down from my orgasm.
“Now we’re married, we belong to each other.” Alex moved, rolling me with him. Hovering above me, he kissed me
softly. “Are you ready for another round yet? This corset is doing things to my cock!” Running his fingertips over the top of the
corset, he gave me his panty dropping smirk.
“I’m your wife. Fuck me as many times as you want,” I teased, knowing Alex loved a challenge.
“Oh, baby, you shouldn’t have said that,” he groaned, capturing my mouth with his again.
We worshipped each other's bodies until the sun started to appear on the horizon. I’d lost count of how many orgasms
Alex had given me. Life didn’t get any better than this. I was overcome with feelings for this amazing creature beside me. Alex
might not have considered himself perfect, but through my eyes, he was! I didn’t care that he was damaged, that he had
addictions, or even that he had whored around in his past. None of that mattered now. All I could see was a man that wanted to
give me the world, and I felt exactly the same way about him.
“I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of this feeling,” I whispered, watching Alex's eyes fight the exhaustion. “You
complete me.”
“Ditto, baby. Ditto,” he mumbled, quickly falling asleep.
Shit! Alex and I had done it! We were husband and wife!
 CHAPTER FIVE

“Y ou two clearly didn’t sleep at all last night,” Diego mused when Alex and I came down for breakfast. Most of the guests
had left, but some of our close family and friends had stayed the night on the island. “I’m surprised I didn’t hear you
screaming at the moon. It was a full one last night.”
“I can’t say I noticed the moon. I was too busy claiming something that’s now mine.” Alex smirked, giving me a wicked
look.
“Oh! You’ve gone all alpha with your wife, have you, Alex?” I was blushing as Alex chuckled at Diego. “Nat, don’t let
him dominate you. You’ve got to set these ground rules down early. You know he’s already an asshole. Look at that smug smile
on his face!” Diego teased, nudging me. “Fuck, you’ve got the same expression on your face. Was marital sex that good!”
“I’d recommend it to anyone,” I sighed, grabbing some fruit and pastries. Fuck, I didn’t realise how hungry I was.
My parents came down and joined us a while later. Alex took my dad and Shane fishing, allowing my mum, Liv and I to
have some girly time. Diego and his boyfriend, Remi, had gone for a romantic walk along the beach. Remi had grounded Diego
with his love. Don’t get me wrong, Diego still had his crazy moments, but it was wonderful to see him being loved the way he
deserved.
“I can’t believe my baby girl is married!” my mum sighed. We were sitting outside, watching the paradise in front of
us.
“I can’t believe she’s married to Alex Harbour! Do you remember all the posters of him she had on her walls?” Liv
commented, handing us both a bottle of water.
“Oh, yes! You did have quite the crush on him, didn’t you? Mind you, I don’t blame you! He is quite a dish!”
“Mum! That’s your son-in-law you’re talking about!” I snorted. “But you’re right. I was pretty obsessed. I can finally
tell you, I got a Steel Roses tattoo on my hip when I was sixteen.”
“NATASHA!” My mum gasped! “And I’m only learning this now?” I had done well hiding it from my parents for over
fifteen years.
“We did far worse, Mrs. White! We skipped sixth form once to go to London to a Steel Roses concert,” Liv added,
laughing. “We ended up stranded and had to get my dad to come get us. That ended up being their last gig, too. They split a few
months later.” I had totally forgotten about being stranded! Milly had told me that was the night Ness overdosed, as well! To
think that was the last night I watched Steel Rose live and the night Alex lost his first love. What a strange, serendipitous
moment!
“I really don’t need to hear all these stories, girls.” My Mum looked disturbed by our confessions. “I’d rather not
know.” Changing the subject, Liv and I filled her in on our life in LA. Liv was doing really well taking over my PA duties for
Alex. I had listened to him when he suggested it, and let go. He was right; setting up Harbour Records was enough of a task. I
was still trying to recruit an office manager. I had my administration team, I just needed to find the right person to pull them
together.

Alex got back a few hours later after fishing with my dad and Shane. The last boat was taking the remaining guests to
the mainland in a few hours. The staff had put on a barbecue at the beach as a final get together before Alex and I would be
alone on the island for our honeymoon.
“It was a beautiful ceremony yesterday,” Gina mused, joining me as I poured myself another drink. “I can’t believe how
much you’ve grounded Alex, Nat. It’s amazing to watch him these days. I’ve never seen him so alive.” Having Gina working
with Harbour Records had propelled the record label. She was the best in the business when it came to managing bands. Her
experience was priceless! She had helped us sign over eight bands already! “Harbour records is growing so quickly! I
couldn’t be more proud of you both.”
“Thanks, Gina. I can hardly believe what Alex and I have achieved these last few years.”
“Yes, those first few months of you working for us were a little tricky.” I snorted at her comment. Tricky was putting it
mildly. “It was the best decision I ever made, though, picking you as Alex’s PA. I’m not proud of how I let Rock Records treat
him, especially in the early days. You coming into his life gave him the strength to finally break free. In you, he has someone
that will challenge him every day. You really are perfect for each other.”
“I’m glad you saw something in me that day, Gina. I’ll be forever grateful that you took a chance on me.” As Gina gave
me a tight hug, Alex walked over to join us.
“The boat is going to be here in fifteen minutes,” he commented, wrapping his arm around my waist. “They’re going to
start getting everyone’s luggage on the jetty.”
“Oh, I better check I haven’t forgotten anything in my room!” Gina looked toward Alex. “I’m proud of you, Alex. I
hardly recognize you these days. The work you’re doing with MuseX and Central Demons, well, it’s groundbreaking. You’re
going to launch them into the stratosphere the same way I did you all those years ago.” It didn’t surprise me that after Alex’s
meeting with MuseX, the duo wanted to work with him. They’d signed a one year deal with us. “Enjoy your honeymoon, and
don’t worry about Harbour Records for a few weeks. I’ll keep everything in order. I’m touting a new band from the UK next
week—The Midnight Outcasts. I’ll send you a link to their set once I have it.” This woman never stopped. She was incredible.
Saying goodbye to our last few remaining guests exhausted Alex and me. My mother was sobbing as she got onto the
boat, despite our reassurances that we would see her soon. Diego and Remi made us promise to visit them in New York once
we got back in a few weeks. Liv and Shane had a gleam in their eyes, and it made me wonder if Shane was thinking of
proposing to her soon!
“Fuck, I’m glad we only do that once!” Alex sighed, flopping down onto the bed. “I feel like I could sleep for a week.”
“We’re all alone for two weeks. We can do whatever we want.” Joining him on the bed, I fell into his waiting arms.
“Mmm…I think we should take a nap. When we wake up, I’m going to fuck you on every flat surface in this room. That
includes the outside area!” Shit! This honeymoon was going to be paradise!
◆ ◆ ◆

Alex was in his element with MuseX as we sat in the control room of the recording studio, listening to Lance from
Central Demons perform his vocals. I was shocked to learn that the MuseX duo were twins, Nadia and Adian. They were in
their early twenties, but Alex was right, they had talent when it came to melodies. Adian was quite a subdued person, but
Nadia had a strong personality.
Lance’s vocals were pure perfection. The notes he could reach…I wasn’t even sure Alex could get that kind of pitch
anymore. Central Demons’ new album was almost finished, but we were still working on the first song to release from the
album.
“Try it again, Lance.” Nadia spoke over the microphone into the studio. “We’re almost there. Give me that raw pain one
last time.” Wow! She was really pushing him.
Looking over at my husband, I noticed he was watching me with a smile on his face. We’d only been back from our
honeymoon for three weeks and were struggling to share each other with the world again. When I gave him a questioning look,
he moved his attention back toward Lance in the studio.
Looking at the time, I realised that I had to head back upstairs to the office. I had a meeting with Iris, my new office
manager. After touching Alex’s shoulders and giving them a squeeze to let him know I was heading back upstairs, I left.
My administrative team was coming together nicely. I had Stacey, Jack and Lizzie as my admin assistants. Stacey and
Jack had done similar roles in the past. Lizzie was my office junior who was learning the ropes. Gina was head of artist
relations, and her old assistant, Claire, had joined her. They were an unstoppable force. I hired Iris as my office manager a few
weeks ago, and she was settling in well. We still needed to source an accounts department, but Oliver was handing the money
aspect until we found someone suitable. As the business grew, so would my team, but I was pretty damn proud of the group I’d
put together so far!
“How are you settling in, Iris?” I asked, sipping some coffee in my office. Weekly meetings were important to help Iris
find her feet.
“Really good. Gina has been a godsend! I still can’t believe I’m working with THE Gina Rosewood!” Looking at the
media timetable for Central Demons, I highlighted a few dates. “Are you happy with everything I’ve suggested so far?”
“Oh, very! You’ve taken a lot of pressure off my shoulders. Gina feels the same way.”
“You have an amazing team here, Mrs. Harbour.” Gah! Would I ever get used to my new name? “I’ll get the contract
drawn up for The Midnight Outcasts today. When are you hoping to sign them?”
“Alex is hoping for next month. Kingsley is flying out next week to seal the deal. And, Iris, please call me Nat.” Iris
nodded as a light tap came on my door. Alex stood there with a hard-to-read expression on his face. It looked like he was
trying to compose himself.
“Hi. Sorry, Iris, but I need a private word with my wife,” Alex muttered. Iris left the room quickly. As I watched him
lock my office door and move to close my blinds, it dawned on me what my sexy, rock star husband might want.
Without saying a word, he stalked toward me. Alex’s eyes were laced with desire.
“Is there something you wanted?” I purred, still seated at my desk. Alex responded by coming up behind me, wrapping
my hair around his hand, making my head snap back, and invading my mouth with his tongue. His other hand slipped into my
shirt, pulling my bra to one side so he could stoke my nipple. With a groan into his mouth at his sudden attack, my body bowed
to him. Once he was done kissing me, he pulled me up and slammed me down on my desk. Shit! What had gotten into him?
Alex was feral! Not that I was complaining!
He grabbed my skirt and pulled it up over my waist, then ran his hands over my ass before pulling my panties slowly
down my legs. I cried out when his fingers made contact with my clit. Quickly, he worked me, and I bit my lip to keep from
crying out. Alex’s breath was against my ear as his body pinned me in place across my desk. Lifting my leg onto the desk, he
inserted his finger inside me while his thumb played me better than a guitar! Every nerve ending in my body began to spark as
my orgasm washed over me.
I tried to be quiet. We were in my office, after all, but the release was too powerful. “Oh…FUCK!” I yelled out.
Hearing Alex’s zipper behind, I knew what was coming next, and I was more than fucking ready!
As if he was as desperate for me as I was for him, Alex slammed his cock into me. He stilled for a few short moments,
gripped my waist to hold me in place, and then began his attack.
I’d had office sex before. Back when I’d worked for David, many nights had ended up on his desk, but office sex with
Alex…it was a heady experience. He didn’t fuck me quickly to start with. He rode through each thrust, really making sure I
could feel all of him. When I began to get a little too loud and demanding, Alex put his hand over my mouth, fucking me harder.
As his fingers slipped back onto a clit, he began to try and coax another release from me. Still, Alex hadn’t said a word. He’d
been fucking me against my desk for so long that I knew he must have been close. My rock star was making sure I came along
for the ride, too. With a few more thrusts and flicks of Alex’s fingers, I began to reach my peak. Gripping the edge of the desk,
my orgasm shot through my body like a bolt of lightning. Alex came inside me moments later.
“I’d love you to come off the pill so I can put a baby in you,” Alex groaned, riding out his release. HOLY FUCK! I
wasn’t expecting him to be ready for a child this early into our marriage. Pulling my skirt back down, Alex smacked my ass.
“You better put your panties back on. You’ll be dripping in a minute. They’re under your desk somewhere.” With that, he
backed away, unlocked my door and left. Shit! I needed to find my panties before anyone came in! Why was my husband such
a sexy motherfucker?

I didn’t see Alex until he arrived back at the LA mansion later that night. He’d been busy with Central Demons, going
over his idea for their album cover.
“What came over you earlier?” I smirked when Alex found me upstairs on our personal balcony. He looked exhausted.
“Mmm…I’m pretty sure I came in you, Straight Lace.” Kissing my lips briefly, he took a seat next to me. “How was the
rest of your day? Did your meeting with Iris go okay?” Alex had told me that he wanted to put a baby in me earlier, and now he
wanted to talk about work? “What?” He questioned the look on my face.
“You know what!” I snapped, annoyed with him. “You want to put a baby in me? Really?” Alex shrugged, giving me a
bemused smile. Ugh! He was infuriating! “You don’t think we need to talk about that? What about the timing? If I catch quickly,
what happens to Harbour Records? You do realise having a child changes everything, right?”
“Nat, we have Gina and Iris! They’d cope while you were off having our child. We have plenty of people and money
around us to make this work, no matter the timing. I’m not getting any younger. I’ll be thirty nine next year. If we want a few
children, don’t you think it’s better to start now?” Crap, Alex had given this more thought than I realised. “If you’re not ready
that’s completely fine. It’s your body, Nat. I want to give you everything, baby. That’s what all of this is about.” Was I ready?
Shit! I didn’t even know!
“Fuck, I don’t know if I’m ready yet. When we had the babies talk, I thought it would be a few years into our marriage.
Not now!”
“We can go at whatever pace you want. I’m only making my intentions clear. I want to watch you grow with my child
inside you. It’s actually a really fucking-hot thought. It makes me want to fuck you even more.” Was that even possible? Alex
was already insatiable! “You like that idea, huh?” he smouldered, moving to hover over me. “We could practise now…maybe
see how you feel after I’ve fucked you a few more times?” I started giggling when Alex began to nip at my neck, pulling my top
over my head. Practice did make perfect, after all.

With Alex’s baby talk, I was in a strange mood for the rest of the month. My mind was a chaotic mess. Part of me
wanted the same as Alex, to try. The thought of carrying Alex Harbour’s child…yeah, that had been on my mind since I was a
teenager. The rational side of me was worrying about the timing, though. Harbour Records had only been doing business for
about a year. Plus, Alex was working on a new album. A world tour always came with a new album. Adding a baby to all of
that would surely be a mistake. Wouldn’t it? Yet, every time I closed my eyes, all I saw was Alex, bursting with pride at the
child I had given him. My resolve was dropping at the thought of giving him something that would be made out of pure love. It
was only a matter of time until I was overrun with these feelings.
We were married, after all. It was the next step! Thinking about having a baby with a rock star… How did this become
my life?!
 CHAPTER SIX

“Y ou’re quiet this morning,” Liv mused at breakfast. Alex had been away on a touting trip with Gina for a few days which
had given me too much time to think.
“I’ve got a lot going on in the office this week with all the hype for Central Demons’ new single, and The
Midnight Outcasts getting signed.”
“That’s an awesome name for a band!”
“I know, right? Alex and I thought the same. Cole, the lead singer, has a bit of a young Alex in him. I can
already tell he’s going to drive the women crazy.” The set that I watched a few weeks ago was incredible. With the electricity
on that stage, I had no doubt Alex and Kingsley had found the next big thing!
“I can’t wait to see them perform at their showcase next month!” Liv clapped her hands excitedly. “Alex has
asked me to get his tux cleaned. Oh, he’s had a few sponsors get in touch about new advertising. What did you want me to do
with those?”
“Forward the emails to me and I’ll take a look.” Liv nodded, eyeing me suspiciously. That was the problem
with having my childhood best friend with me. She knew me too well, and could tell I had something on my mind. Noticing the
time, I realised I was already running late. “I better get to work.”
Iris had everything in hand as I wandered into the office. She’d even sorted the paperwork that Gina had
forwarded to both of us. They were in Texas now. No doubt Alex was looking for a country-style band or singer to round out
the talent at Harbour Records. He’d already messaged me earlier, telling me that he’d be back tomorrow. It was the longest
we’d be apart since the wedding.
“Nat, I have David Barclay at reception for you,” Jack called from my door. Upon simply hearing David's
name, my body shuddered. What the hell did he want? I was Mrs. Harbour now; David had no control over me! “He said you’d
want to see him?”
“If you show him to the conference room, I’ll be there in a minute.” Alex wasn’t going to like me being in a
room alone with David, but I wanted to know what that bastard was doing here!
Putting my suit jacket on, I tied my hair into a bun and checked myself in the mirror. Satisfied, I walked down
the hall. David’s eyes widened as I entered the conference room. “I didn’t think you’d agree to meet me.”
“Cut the shit, David. Did you know Alex is away on business? Is that why you’re here? He'll flip when he
finds out!”
“You married the rock star, then? How is that going?” His tone was indifferent as he gazed at me.
Taking a seat at the opposite end of the table, I crossed my arms and glared at him. “My personal life is none
of your concern! What are you doing here?”
“Word has gotten out that Alex, Cody and Masen are working on an album together. I’m here for my client,
Matt Higgins. You can’t make Steel Roses music without him!” Wow! News did travel fast. How the hell had they found out?
“Alex might be jamming with the guys, but what makes you think we’ll be producing a Steel Roses album?”
“You and Alex both know you can’t make Steel Roses music. Rock Records owns those rights! Matt and Rock
Records are willing to make a deal with you, though. Rock Records will produce and record the album and cut Harbour
Records in with a twenty-percent deal. You would be foolish not to accept it! If you make this album, we’ll be forced to sue for
breach of contract.” David was bluffing. We weren’t making a Steel Roses album, so they had nothing on us! Nowhere in his
contract did it prohibit Alex from starting another band. Rock Records owned the name, not the people.
 “Alex doesn’t want to be tied in with those assholes anymore. You know that! I’ll talk it through with him when he gets
back, but I already know what his answer will be!”
“You’ve got to see the business side, Nat! Look, I know things got out of hand on the world tour, but…”
“OUT OF HAND!?” I yelled, triggered. “You and Matt sabotaged us! Matt got him back on drugs! And YOU! You set
out to destroy us!”
“Love can do strange things, Nat! You know that!” Love? This guy was unbelievable! “I’ll always be waiting in the
wings for you. Alex will fuck up at some point, and you’ll see why I went to all those lengths to split you up. You might think
he’s the safe bet now, but give it a few years. Once he tires of you, his groupies will start to tempt him again. I’ll be here for
you when that happens, Nat. I’m a patient man, I can wait.”
“I want you to leave! This meeting is done!” I snapped, getting up. Would Alex tire of me? It was fresh now, but did I
hold the power to keep him year after year? Of course you do! David is trying to make you doubt yourself. Don’t fall for it!
“Goodbye, David. Make sure you book an appointment if you ever come here again!”
“Think about it, Natasha. That’s all I’m asking. It’s a fucking good deal! They can’t freeze Matt out! He’s part of the
band, too!” David didn’t realise how much sway Alex had in the music world. We didn’t need Rock Records to fund Alex’s
album with the lads. We could propel the album to great heights ourselves! “Nat! Wait! Nat!” David was still calling after me
as I left and headed back to my office. With a nod from me, Ben, my security guard, made sure that David left.
Claire rushed into my office as I sat down. “Was that David Barcley?” Gina must have given her orders to keep an eye
on things while she and Alex were out of town. Nodding, I put my face in my hands. “Are you okay? What did he want?”
“Rock Records has an offer for us. I need to chat with Alex when he gets back. Don’t say anything to Gina. It will only
distract Alex.”
“Okay, did you need a coffee? Maybe something stronger?”
“Yes, please. I could definitely use a pick me up. Coffee will do.”
David must have heard the album news from one of the producers. I couldn’t see it being Cody or Masen, unless they
let it slip to someone Matt or David knew, too. Either way, Alex wasn’t going to be happy. The album wasn’t even being made
yet and it had already been leaked. If Rock Records put pressure on us because of it, it might affect the sales.

“Mmm, there you are.” Alex came up behind me in the pool house, slipping his hands up my top, grazing over any flesh
he could find as he bit down gently on my earlobe. Three days apart and I was on overdrive for this man. “Fuck, I’ve missed
you,” he purred, moving his hands lower. “Did you miss me?” I could hear the smirk in his voice as his fingers slipped into my
panties. Of course I missed him! “Oh, baby. You’re always so ready for me.” I braced my hands on the wall of the pool house
as Alex rubbed me frantically. I came within a matter of minutes. After pulling my shorts and panties down my legs, Alex spun
me around and captured my lips with his. I made quick work freeing his cock, needing him desperately. Gripping me by my ass,
he lifted me as I wrapped my legs around his hips. I could feel the tip of his penis against my entrance.
“Alex,” I whispered, kissing down his neck, “I stopped taking the pill three days ago.”
“Fuck! You’re ready for me to put a baby in this?” He caressed my stomach softly. I groaned, arching toward him as an
answer. “Hold on, baby! This is going to be hard!” With one deep thrust, Alex was inside me, fucking me like I was the air he
breathed.
When he came inside me, both of us stilled, gazing at each other.
“Fuck,” he breathed against my mouth. “I need to go away more often. What else have I missed?” Did I tell him about
David now? We had just fucked, so Alex should be in a better mood. “Straight Lace, I don’t trust that face! What happened?”
“David came to the office yesterday.” My voice was a whisper. My legs were still wrapped around Alex’s waist,
holding him against me, so I felt when Alex’s body tensed at hearing David’s name.
“What? That fucker shouldn’t be anywhere near you!” He pulled out of me, and I slid down his body. Finding my
panties and shorts, I put them back on while Alex continued to rant. “Did Ben send him packing? Whatever he had to say, we’re
not fucking interested! I can’t believe the fucking nerve of him!”
“I had a meeting with him.”
“You did what?” Oh, shit! Alex wasn’t happy. “Nat, you know how I feel about that fucker! I don’t want him anywhere
near you!” Running his hands through his hair, he paced around the pool house. “What did he have to say for himself?”
“He knows about the album you’re planning with Cody and Mason. Rock Records wants to make a deal with you if you
cut Matt in on the project.”
Alex laughed out loud, shaking his head. “Oh, of course they do, the money-grabbing motherfuckers!”
“I told him I already knew what your answer would be, but I’ll let you deal with him this time.” Alex’s face softened as
he gazed at me. “David didn’t try anything if that’s what you’re worried about. I can handle myself, you know.”
“I am fully aware of that. It’s one of the reasons I married you. We’re a team, Straight Lace. I don’t like the thought of
you fighting our battles alone, that’s all.” Pulling me back into his embrace, he ran his fingers through my hair. “If that fucker
turns up again when I’m not here, you get him to make an appointment with both of us, okay? He’s a slippery fucker. We need to
be careful. Let’s not forget that he’s still in love with you!” Alex was right. If David and Matt were plotting again, we had to be
extra vigilant. With a dark look in his eyes, Alex took my hand in his. He started leading me into the mansion, and I knew
exactly where he was taking me. There was only one thing that could clear his mind when he was stressed. Now that we were
officially trying for a baby, that would only heighten our experience!
◆ ◆ ◆

No one tells you that conceiving a baby is all about timing. After a few months with negative pregnancy tests, I was a
little disheartened. Alex assured me that it would happen, we simply had to be patient. Being a woman, it was difficult not to
worry that I was doing something wrong. I'd started to take all the pre-pregnancy vitamins, was doing more exercise, and
drinking plenty of water. I was only thirty-three, surely I would catch soon?
“How about a trip to New York at the weekend? Diego has been badgering us about visiting him for weeks now,” Alex
suggested, running his hands down my bare back. “It will take your mind off everything.” A trip to see Diego sounded perfect.
“We could get a nice penthouse with views of Central Park, and I could fuck you with a view.” Somehow, he always made
everything sound perfect. “We’ve been flat out with new signings, press releases, and spotlight shows. We deserve a little
fun.”
“The Midnight Outcasts really have something special, don’t they?” The band had blown me away in the last few
months with their dedication. Cole, the lead singer, had something that I hadn’t seen…well, since Alex.
“Have you got a crush on the new rock band, Straight Lace?” Alex's voice was saturated with desire. “You’re making
me jealous. You’re my groupie!” I giggled against him as his lips brushed my breast before he moved between my legs.
“Cole reminds me of a younger you. His stage presence is almost as good as yours.”
“Yeah, if he’s steered in the right direction, Cole could go far. He’s already pretty deep into the drugs and alcohol
lifestyle, though. I’ve spoken to him about it, but I’m not sure he gets it.”
“With your guidance, The Midnight Outcasts can achieve anything.”
“Your faith in me takes my breath away, did you know that?” I planned to spend every day of the rest of my life lifting
him up and making him realise how amazing he was. I loved him that much!
Diego and Remi were already waiting for us as we arrived at the restaurant in New York. “About fucking time! Where
have you been? You’re almost an hour late!” I was blushing. We had gotten a little carried away in the hotel penthouse. Diego
looked toward Alex, who had a dirty smile on his face. “I swear you’re more sex crazed now than in the band days! Keep it in
your fucking pants for a few hours please, Alex! I haven’t seen you properly for months!”
“You’re the one who moved so far away,” Alex countered, turning his gaze to Remi. “It’s lovely to see you again,
Remi. How do you put up with this fucker?”
“I have no choice, really. My Dotty is in love with Ralph,” Remi teased, resting his head on Diego’s shoulder. Remi
was a lot shorter than Diego, and had cheek bones to die for! He was perhaps a little manlier, but that might have been because
of his buzz cut. He always had the most beautifully tanned skin, too. He sparkled! The fact these two met because their
Dalmatians fell in love was perhaps the cutest story I’d ever heard. Remi was an amazing up-and-coming fashion designer. It
wouldn’t surprise me if Diego worked with him on some designs. Diego had the talent!
The four of us laughed our way through dinner. Someone had tipped off the paparazzi, though, and as we walked out of
the restaurant, flashes came from every direction. Luckily, Shane got us into the car quickly.
“That was insane!” Remi gasped, taking a seat next to Diego. I’d forgotten how crazy it had felt at first to be chased by
the press. I’d become accustomed to it these days, being Alex’s wife. “Is this what it’s always like?
“Oh, baby. That was nothing. You should see them when these two are at a premier or event. The press go crazy! Shane
had to stop them coming over the wall once in LA! Do you remember that?” Diego looked between Alex and me. “Alex hadn’t
long proposed, and everyone was trying to get that shot of you two together!” I had completely forgotten about that.
Shane dropped Diego and Remi off at their place first. Diego and I were going to have a lunch date tomorrow while
Alex went to catch up with Milly. Her talk show was a global sensation now, and he was thinking of doing an exclusive on it
with The Midnight Outcasts.
My body ached as we stood in the lift heading back up to the penthouse. “You look tired,” Alex mused, rubbing my
shoulders. “I think it’s an early night for you.” It didn’t matter what he said, I had plans before we went to sleep tonight. “Don’t
give me that face. I’m only looking out for you, Straight Lace. We’ve been non-stop these last few months. This weekend is
meant to be relaxing!”
When we stepped out of the elevator, I ran my hands down his chest and gave him a playful smirk. “I can think of
something that would help me sleep.”
“As much as I’d love to pound my cock inside you right now, you need to rest.”
“Maybe I want to take the lead?” That had his eyebrows rising as he licked his lips. “You’re not the only one obsessed
with fucking, you know.” I playfully pushed him down onto the bed. Alex landed with a thud, bouncing on the mattress a few
times.
“Lead away, baby,” he cooed, watching me with awe as I straddled his hips. Undoing the buttons on his shirt, I pulled it
open, planting kisses across his well defined chest. His breathing accelerated when I scratched my nails down toward his
jeans. I palmed the bulge in his pants briefly before licking and biting down his neck. Ugh! I’d never get enough of how Alex
felt under my tongue. Moving toward his face, I ran my tongue along his jawline. His stubble grating against me only made me
want more. “Fuck, Straight Lace. Hurry up and get to my pants!”
“Always so eager,” I teased, brushing my lips against his.
“For you…fuck yes,” Alex groaned. His fingers entwined with my hair, allowing him to pull my head closer. When our
lips crashed urgently, something inside me ignited. I grabbed his hair and began to rock my hips against his hard erection. Not
breaking the kiss, my hands made quick work of releasing his cock. I didn’t need foreplay right now, I could feel the dampness
in my panties. I was more than ready for him. Moving my panties to the side, I rocked my hips again. Surprising Alex, I took
him inside me with one thrust. “Oh fucking hell…yes!” he snarled against my mouth, kissing me deeper as I began to set a slow
pace. His hands gripped my ass roughly, making me fuck him faster.
Finally breaking the kiss, I sat up and really started to ride him. Having this beautiful man between my legs was always
hard to describe. This man was a god to so many people, an impossible fantasy, yet here he was underneath me. How would I
ever get used to this feeling? Alex moved his hands up my body, palming my breasts through my dress. We were both fully
clothed aside from the obvious parts.
Arching back, I could feel my release building. That feeling of pure ecstasy filled my veins, and with a few more
thrusts, I came around Alex’s cock with him following me a few seconds after. Watching him come undone beneath me was
intoxicating. “Fucking beautiful!” He gazed up, holding me in place. “You are a potent addiction, Straight Lace. I’ll never get
enough of you.”
I couldn’t agree more. Alex was in my veins now, better than any drug I could imagine. We were intertwined in a way
that took my breath away. I’d never want anything more than this!
 CHAPTER SEVEN

sat staring at the test. This month was probably going to be like all the others. Alex and I had been trying for a baby for five
I months with no luck. Don’t get me wrong, the trying was amazing, but with the amount of fucking Alex and I did, I couldn’t
understand how I wasn’t pregnant yet.
As I waited for the test to work, I sat tapping my nails on the bathroom counter. Alex was still fast asleep. We’d had a
late night getting ready for The Midnight Outcasts showcase in less than a week. I was a few days late this month, but didn't
want to get Alex’s hopes up. I watched as the lines began to appear. Wait! Was that a cross? Didn’t a cross mean pregnant? I
picked the test up for a closer inspection and froze. HOLY SHIT! Alex and I had done it! I was pregnant!
So many feelings flooded my mind at that moment. Alex and I were going to have a baby! Shit! I was going to give birth
to a baby. Rubbing my stomach, I didn’t feel any different, but knew everything was about to change. I was carrying a part of
Alex inside me.
With the test in hand, I walked back into our bedroom, watching Alex for a few minutes as he slept. It made me wonder
who this little bean inside me would look like. The thought of a mini-Alex running around…well, it filled my heart with so
much love.
Stretching, Alex reached out for me in the bed. When he couldn’t find me, he opened his eyes and turned to where I was
sitting at the bottom of the bed. “Nat?” he questioned, sitting up and reaching for my hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I beamed, showing him the test. “We did it, Alex!”
Realisation hit his face as he saw the pink plus sign. “You’re pregnant?”
“I’m a few days late. I didn’t want to get your hopes up until I knew for sure, but these lines are so bright. I have no
doubt that I am!” Jumping out of bed, Alex knelt in front of me, clutching my legs like I was holding his life in my hands.
“You’re going to finally have a family that loves you,” I whispered, running my hands through his hair. “You’re going to be an
amazing father.” Tears filled his eyes as I spoke. “We’ve got this, Alex. You and I…we can do anything.”
“Fuck, Straight Lace. I love you so fucking much!” Alex’s lips were hard against mine as he gently pushed me back
down onto the mattress.

We decided to keep our news a secret for a few months. It felt good being in our own little bubble for a little while.
We’d made an appointment with the doctor for next week, and if everything looked good, we’d tell our close family and friends
in a month or so.
“Alex, did you hear that crowd?” Cole, the lead singer from The Midnight Outcasts, rushed toward us. “Is that how it
feels for you? Holding a crowd like that? Fuck, I want more!” Cole was the epitome of a typical rock star with his long, dirty
blonde hair and cool blue eyes. The guy was muscular and looked good in leather trousers.
“You rocked it! Gina thinks you’re ready for a tour.” Cole’s eyes flashed between us as the other band members
reached us.
“Our own tour? We won’t be supporting anyone?” Cole could hardly believe it, but they worked hard to get here. Their
single had reached number three on the US charts and number one in parts of Europe. Their success was building by the hour, it
seemed. A tour was the obvious thing to do next.
“You’re ready to headline, guys!” Alex clapped his hands, patting them all on the back as they shouted and jumped
around. One of the band mate’s girlfriends, Ava, caught my eye. She looked scared, but quickly regained her face as Zach, the
drummer, spun her around. I understood her fear; I’d been there. With a tour came groupies and temptation. All the band
members were in their late twenties. They were in their prime. I’m not sure I’d have wanted to meet Alex at this age. Okay, I’d
only met him seven years after that, but he’d gotten most of his whoring around out of his system by then because Steel Roses
hit their fame when Alex was in his early twenties.
“We can’t thank you and your beautiful wife enough!” Cole’s eyes moved toward mine. “We couldn’t have done any of
this without your guidance!”
“You deserve this, Cole,” I beamed. “Alex is right. You’ve earned your place. We’ve believed in you from the start.”
Feeling Alex stroke my back lovingly, I looked at him. Since we had found out that I was pregnant, he’d been so tender with
me. Every touch was like a loving caress.
“Will you be okay if I go and answer some questions from the press with the guys?” Alex muttered in my ear.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll chat with Ava. Go!” I snorted, pushing him away. Ava gave me a small smile as Alex and the band
walked off. “It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it?” I called out to her. She’d only flown over from the UK a few months ago. Zach had
begged her to move to LA with him, but she was still thinking about it.
“I wasn’t expecting a tour to happen so quickly,” she sighed. “Did my face give me away?”
“Only a little. I don’t think anyone else noticed.”
“It’s not that I’m not happy for Zach and the guys. They worked so fucking hard. But what…what if…”
“You get left behind?” I finished her sentence for her. Ava looked at me, alarmed, her red hair catching the flashes of
light from the club. “It’s okay to be scared. I understand the fear of loving a rock star.”
“How do you do it?” Ava looked back toward Alex and the band. The press were busy taking photos and asking
questions. “Alex is a freaking God! Everyone knows him, and most women want him. How do you control your jealousy?”
“That’s easy. The Alex I have behind closed doors is a version no one gets to see but me. They have to put on this
show, Ava—they owe it to the fans—but as long as your relationship is true and strong, nothing will break you. Have you got a
job to keep you busy while you’re on tour? I was Alex’s PA and that kept me busy.”
“I’m a freelance accountant. I’m always busy.”
“An accountant, you say? What kind of revenue are you in control of?” Alex and I had been looking for someone to add
to the business.
“Why? Are you offering me a job?” she snorted, looking at the seriousness of my gaze. “Oh, fuck! You are? I handle
multi-billion dollar accounts, mostly.” It looked as if we had our business accountant.

“That was a good call with Ava.” I’d explained everything to Alex on the car ride home. “Why didn’t we know sooner?
I can’t believe she deals with some of the accounts from my advertising sponsors.”
“Yeah, her references are glowing. At least it will take some of the pressure off Oliver’s accounts team. Don’t get me
wrong, I know he can handle it—he’s a multi-billionaire, after all—but having someone that can put all our figures into a report
will be useful.”
“I don’t think Oliver’s team ever feels pressure, Nat. He runs a tight ship.”
“How are we looking at paying him back, anyway?”
“With the pre-orders for Central Demons, The Midnight Outcasts, and the small artists, we’re a quarter of the way
there.” Wow, and that was in just a year! “Your skin is glowing. Do you know how beautiful you look right now?”
“You’ve been very charming this week.” Tilting my head, I could feel my cheeks blush. This pregnancy was making me
look extremely healthy and I swear my breasts had gotten firmer.
“I’m charming every day, in my own way.” Alex winked as we stepped out of the car. Okay, he had a point!
Liv was waiting outside to greet Shane as we walked into the mansion together. “Did you see the breaking news?” Liv
stressed, rushing over. By the look of worry on her face, it was something to do with either Alex or me. Fuck! The press
couldn't have learnt about the baby, could they? Alex, the doctor, and I were the only ones who knew!
 “What is it?” Shane asked, touching Liv’s face.
“Madison Lily is saying she’s having an affair with Alex behind Nat’s back! There are provocative photos of them
everywhere!” That fucking bitch! Why did she keep popping up? I knew the pictures would be old, but the press and general
public didn’t.
“You can’t be fucking serious?” Alex seethed. “That fucking bitch!” He turned to me with worried eyes. “You know,
I’d…I’d never…”
“I know.” I soothed his panic by touching his lips with my fingers. “It’s got to be David or Matt behind this. We’ll work
it out.”
“Liv, get on the phone with PR. We need to squash this bullshit…fast!” I ordered, grabbing my phone before heading to
my office near the pool house.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Alex grabbed me by the arm. “Liv can sort this out. You need to rest!”
“I can make a few phone calls, Alex. I need to help figure this out. Stop worrying.” Motioning toward Liv and Shane,
who were still standing by us, I widened my eyes at him. They would work out I was pregnant if he carried on.
“Holy shit!” It was too late; Liv had worked it out. “You’re fucking pregnant, aren’t you? I knew something was weird
between the two of you!” Shane gasped before patting Alex on the back. “How far along are you? Holy fuck, you’re having
Alex Harbour’s baby!”
“I think Nat is aware of that, Liv,” Alex snorted, rolling his eyes at her. “When are you going to see me as a normal
human being?”
“That’s a stupid question,” I pointed out to Alex. “Does anyone see you as a normal human being?”
“Fair point,” he replied with a warm smile. “For the record, yes, Nat and I are having a baby, but it’s not going public
for a few months.”
“I can’t take this much excitement,” Liv stressed, throwing her arms around me. “I need to do some work before I freak
out!” Maddison Lily had her uses, at least. Tidying up her mess kept us busy for a few days while Liv and Shane let our baby
news sink in.
The photos circulating were really old. It was easy to squash all the allegations when we pointed out that Alex didn’t
have his new arm tattoo in the pictures the tabloid printed. We told them that if they took everything down, we wouldn’t file
charges for defamation. Alex did a press release explaining that he’s never been in a relationship with Maddison Lily, and that
she had simply been obsessed with him since they did a photo shoot together years ago.
She countered his press release by claiming that she’d been a victim of his rock and roll lifestyle. That he’d tried to get
her hooked on drugs. It was ridiculous. With all the clickbait online, people made up their own minds about it. Of course, it
was easier for most to blame the addict rock star for destroying the beautiful, up-and-coming model. I hated the human race, at
times. They were so gullible. I told Alex to let it go. You can’t fight the media and win. If a story sells, they’ll keep going with
it. The trick was to give them nothing.
Maddison’s fake news was forgotten within a month and hadn’t done much damage to Alex and me. We kept a united
front. Anyone who saw the way Alex looked at me, had no doubt where his loyalty and love lay.

Our first doctor's appointment confirmed that I was now eleven weeks pregnant. Watching little bean on the screen and
hearing a heartbeat, Alex and I were already smitten. Our thoughts were consumed with baby names, nursery ideas, and a
whole future with our child. It was the healthiest addiction Alex had ever had.
“What about Axel?” Alex mused, looking at his phone. “If it’s a boy. It’s like a play on my name.”
“Axel Harbour? He sounds like a rocker already.” I giggled, as Alex pulled me into his arms. “I was thinking something
more simple like Toby or Blake?”
“Blake Harbour…” Alex thought for a few seconds. “I like that! What if we have a girl, though?”
 “Maisy,” I whispered. “I’ve always loved that name.”
“Maisy Harbour or Blake Harbour. Mmm…I love them.” Baby names were the easy part. In seven short months, Alex
and I would be fitting our lives around a child! How did we even start to prepare for that?
 CHAPTER EIGHT

hen you see two lines on a pregnancy test, you don't question it. Those two lines become a pathway where you see your
W child's whole future before you’ve even met them. Endless images of holding your child's hand as you guide them
through life, birthday celebrations, their first steps, their first word, the first day of school, watching them go out
into the big wide world without you. It all flashes before your eyes. The only way that can be taken from you is hearing four
small words. Four words that crush you to the core. ‘There is no heartbeat.’

Alex and I sat looking blankly at the doctor. I couldn’t have heard him right. Everything was perfect at the last scan. I
was sixteen weeks and past the danger zone. We were going public with our news next month!
“I’m sorry, what?” Alex’s voice cracked as he spoke.
“I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Harbour, but there is no sign of a heartbeat,” the doctor repeated. “I can get a second opinion,
but the only heartbeat I can detect is Mrs. Harbour’s.” I’d lost our baby. My body had failed us. I had failed. I crumpled into
darkness, unsure if I’d ever surface again.
Time meant nothing to me anymore. I had no idea how many days I lay in bed, but I hadn’t started to bleed yet. If things
didn’t progress within a couple of weeks, I’d have to go into hospital and have Little Bean induced. Little Bean…could I even
call our baby that now? The stomach flutters had stopped, but I was still exhausted. Why was I still getting pregnancy
symptoms? Liv had been keeping her distance after hearing the news, as had Alex, if I was being truthful. That was fine by me.
This loss had happened in my body! I needed time alone to process it.
What had I done wrong? I still didn’t understand. Rubbing my stomach, tears began to trickle down my face. Oh, Little
Bean, if love could have saved you, you would have lived forever. Fuck, this hurt! How could you miss someone so deeply
that you’d never even met?
“Nat?” Alex’s soft voice came from behind me. Wiping my eyes, I turned to face him. “Baby, you need to eat something.
Maybe come out onto the balcony? The fresh air will do you some good.”
“I don’t want to.” Turning away from him, I cradled my stomach and closed my eyes as more tears filled ran down my
cheeks.
“I don’t know what to do, Nat. You’re scaring me. What the fuck am I supposed to do?” It was hard to ignore the
desperate tone in his voice, but I had no words of comfort for him. I was lost in a painful abyss. Alex might have been holding
onto me, but I couldn’t see a way out.
Little Bean was induced a couple of weeks later. It was a memory that I pushed into the back of mind. If I fixated on that
horrific day, I feared I’d lose myself for good.
Once it had been determined what Little Bean had passed away from we were allowed to bury him. A boy. Alex and I
learnt that I’d been carrying a boy. It was like losing him all over again, picturing his little face. It sent me into madness. A
parent should never have to bury their child, yet here we were, saying goodbye to him. Images of his tiny casket starred in my
regular nightmare. I’d never known darkness like it. I fell deeper and deeper, the heartache gripping me like nothing had
before.

~WEEK ONE~
“You need to eat something.” It was Alex’s voice, but I could hardly hear him. “Nat, are you even listening?” I
clutched my stomach and allowed the desolation to take me.

~WEEK TWO~
“Why won’t she talk?”

~WEEK THREE~
“What do we do?” I had no idea who was talking. “She had some soup earlier. Should I call the doctor?” No, just
let me drown!

“She’s been sleeping for hours. I can’t stop watching her.” Alex’s voice was emotionless.

“What do I do?” Was Alex even talking to anyone?

~WEEK FOUR~
“It’s killing me to watch her this way. The doctors said it’s a form of PTSD from all the trauma.” Alex was talking to
Liv after the doctor had visited. “He gave her some fluids and suggested therapy when she comes out of the trance. I wish
she’d fucking talk to me! This is scaring the fucking shit out of me!” I’m trying to come back to you. Please give me time!

“I’ve failed her. What if this is all my fault?” Why was he torturing himself like this?

~WEEK FIVE~
“Alex, I’ll try and talk to her.” Liv was pleading with him about something. “She is safer here.”
“I’m fucking losing her, Liv. She’s been in a trance for almost a fucking month! I have to do something! This doctor
said he can help her at his clinic.” No! I wasn’t going anywhere!
“No!” I shouted. “I’m not going anywhere!”
“Nat!” The desperation in Alex’s voice as he rushed toward me crippled me. “Oh, baby! You had me so fucking
worried.”
“I need time and space, Alex. I’m processing everything, okay?” I promised, touching his face. “I need to be in my own
head for a little while. That’s all.” It was like an elastic band had snapped in my head, freeing me a little from all the darkness
in my mind.
“Okay, baby.” Kissing my forehead, Alex sighed. “Whatever you need, I’m here.”

The next few weeks were quieter. Alex mostly left me alone in the daytime, but would hold me all night to help with my
nightmares. I was talking now, but still needed time to work through everything in my mind. Everyone was walking on
eggshells around me. At least I’d showered today; I hadn’t done that in a week or so. The bed had become my safe haven, and I
didn’t want to leave it. The stitching in the sheets felt as if they were holding me in place. If I closed my eyes for long enough, I
wouldn’t feel the pain as much.
 “Nat?” Liv sat on the edge of my bed. “We’re all worried about you. Especially Alex. He thinks you’re shutting him
out.” Was I? It was obvious I couldn’t be strong for the both of us right now, not when I was dealing with so much heartache.
But I wasn’t purposely shutting him out. “Maybe if you talked to your parents? Your mum…”
“NO!” I snapped. “I’m not telling my parents! It’s bad enough watching the way you, Alex and Shane watch me. I can’t
deal with the sadness in their eyes, too!”
“At least talk to Alex properly! Nat, it’s been six weeks! He’s going out of his mind! I saw him with a whiskey bottle
last night.” My body froze! No! Please tell me he didn’t! “I don’t think he had any, but he was staring at it for hours!”
“I don’t know what you want me to do! Call Diego, Liv. He’ll know what to do.” I wasn’t strong enough for this right
now. I had my own battle that was raging inside. How could I tell Alex what was going on in my mind, when I had no idea
myself.
“Nat, Alex wants you. Diego can only do so much.”
“Enough, Liv!” I yelled, angry. “Please, just go! I can’t do this right now, okay?”
“Why are you shutting us all out? We’re trying to help you! You don’t have to be such a bitch! You really think
wallowing in this bed is the right thing to do? You need to get up and do something!”
I saw red! How fucking dare she?! “Have you ever lost a child, Liv? Do you have any idea what that emptiness feels
like? I can’t fucking breathe without feeling pain! The only time I’m not hurting is when I manage to fucking sleep! Wallowing
in this bed is all I have right now! LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!”
“Nat, I’m sorry, I…” I’d wounded her, but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. Liv began to back away from me with
thick tears trickling down her face. My eyes fell on Alex, who was leaning on the door frame. Fuck! Had he heard all of that!
“I’ll leave you guys alone.”
“How long have you been leaning there?” His beautiful face looked tortured.
“Long enough,” he sighed, pushing off the frame. He didn’t head toward me like I thought he would. Taking the curtain
that led to our balcony in hand, he pulled it back slightly, looking into the distance. “I didn’t drink any whiskey last night.”
“Alex, I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I…It’s been a difficult month.”
“Why are you shutting me out, Nat? Are you blaming me? Do you think it’s my fault we lost the baby?” What? How
could he think that? “Fuck, if my past is the reason we… Fuck!” Alex couldn’t finish his train of thought. Wait? Was he blaming
his drink and drug taking days for our loss? No, Alex! Don’t do that to yourself! “I’d understand if you wanted to leave, Nat, if
I can’t give you what you want. Where the fuck do we even go from here?” That was all I needed for my brain to jump into
action. He thought I wanted to leave him? God, no!
“Alex, I’d never want to leave you. I haven’t been keeping my distance because I blame you. I blame myself. My body
couldn’t hold onto our baby. I’m the one who’s failed us, not you.” My words came out as a sob, my thoughts finally given
voice. Alex was by my side in an instant, pulling me into his arms.
“Baby, no, none of this is your fault. Fuck, Nat! This is why you’ve been in a trance? You’ve been dealing with this
feeling for weeks!?”
“Why did Little Bean have to leave us?” I sobbed into his chest. “It hurts so fucking much. I need it to stop!”
“I know, baby! I know. I’m here. Let it all out.” At Alex’s words, I clung to him as grief spilled out of me like a
waterfall. All the deep sobs escaped my chest, and I cried until there was nothing left.

I woke up wrapped in Alex’s arms. Had he been holding me the entire time? Looking up at him, I saw he was already
awake, watching me. “Please tell me you at least got some sleep?” I questioned.
“I had a little.” He shrugged, moving some stray hair off my face. “How do you feel this morning? Are you up for a
little breakfast? I can bring it up here if it’s easier for you?” It was hard to not disappoint that face. I was a little hungry.
“Maybe a glass of juice and some fruit?”
 “Coming right up,” he beamed, jumping off the bed to put his sweatpants on. Even in my state, it was difficult not to
stare at his muscles and my favourite sword and wings tattoo on his back. Okay, second favourite since he’d got the one in
honour of me. Giving me a loving smile, Alex left in search of food for me. I glanced at the time and knew Mary would be in
the kitchen. I’d end up with more than just fruit, knowing her.
Fifteen minutes later, Alex came in carrying a tray. “Mary went a little over the top when I told her you had a bit of an
appetite.” When he placed the tray on the bed, my mouth watered. Pancakes! Yeah, I could definitely eat a few of those! “It’s
good to see you eat,” Alex mused, watching me take a mouthful of pancake.
“Did you want some?” I offered my fork to him. Alex shook his head, chuckling at me. “How long was I asleep for?”
“About nine hours. The sobbing seemed to really exhaust you.”
“I feel a lot better for it.” I wasn’t healed—that hole in my heart was still there—but I felt more in control of my
emotions.
“Promise you won’t shut me out like that again? I’ve been a fucking mess this last month and a half. I thought I was
losing you.” Alex shook his head as if to dispel the thought. “Whatever happens now, we’ll face together, okay?”
“I promise,” I breathed, reaching out to touch his face. Had it really been over a month since I’d felt his skin under my
fingertips.
“I know that look, Straight Lace. No intercourse until you get the all clear from the doctor, remember?” Intercourse?
Alex had never called it that! “What?”
“Intercourse?” I snorted.
“I have to use that word to make it sound less sexy, because right now all I want to do is bend you over and fuck the
shit out of you!”
“Are you talking about anal?” I’d make more jokes like that to watch his face light up the way it just did.
“Watch it, Straight Lace. Once you get the all clear in a few weeks, there will be nothing stopping me claiming any part
of you I want.” Shit! That predatory look was in his eyes again. I needed to behave!
“You can’t say shit like that to me and not expect me to combust.” I was breathless as I spoke because in that moment, I
realised how much I've missed his touch. His eyes looked more alive. Shit, I’d really put him through it this last month. How
could I have been so selfish? Suddenly, I was wishing the weeks away as quickly as he was. If anything made sense, it was
when we were connected in an intimate way. All the madness would fade away for a little while. Piece by piece, Alex would
put me back together.

Alex held my shaking knee in place while we waited for the doctor to call us in. We were getting the results about Little
Bean today, and hopefully getting the all clear to start trying again. Not that Alex and I were anywhere near ready for that. Even
if my body was ready, my mind was far from it.
“Mr. and Mrs. Harbour,” the doctor called, coming out of his office. My stomach lurched as Alex squeezed my hand. I
hated hospitals, most people did, but knowing the last time we’d stepped foot in here was to birth a child that we never got to
keep…it was almost too much to bear.
The smell of antiseptic flooded my senses as Alex and I took a seat at the doctor’s desk.
“Can we get on with it, Doctor?” Alex asked. “My wife isn’t comfortable here.”
“Oh, of course, Mr. Harbour.” The doctor turned his attention toward me. “I’ll be scanning you and doing an internal
exam today, Mrs. Harbour. Is that okay?” Swallowing, I nodded. Let’s get this over with!
I was healing well according to the doctor. My bleeding had finally come to an end last week. It all tied in with the
healing process. My hormones were still all over the place, but the doctor explained that was normal.
“The heart wasn’t forming properly. The foetus would never have gotten to full term. I’m very sorry for your loss.”
Tears trickled down my face. Little Bean’s tiny heart had given up.
 “How does that happen, Doctor? Was it something that could have been overlooked at our other scans?” Alex sat,
tension radiating off him. “My drug use in the past, could that have caused it?”
“Mr. Harbour, little is known about miscarriage. Most are likely to be a chromosome issue. You and your wife are both
young and healthy people. I have no doubt that you will have a healthy pregnancy at some point. Are you taking any substances
at the moment?”
“Of course not!” Alex snapped, squaring his shoulders. “I’ve been clean for well over a year!”
“That’s good. If you and your wife would like any further tests, I can arrange that for you. Other than that, you’re all set
to try again when you’re both ready.”
“Thank you, Doctor,” I breathed, standing up. I needed to get the hell out of here!
“Nat! Wait up!” Alex grabbed my hand, pulling me to face him. “Shane is meeting us out the back. I don’t want to
chance anyone seeing us leave.” Oh, yeah, that made sense. “You were amazing in there.”
“I’m not so sure about that,” I scoffed as he lifted my face to meet his gaze. “I’m barely holding on.”
“You can fall, baby. I’ll always catch you.” A single tear trickled down my face at his words. “Come on. Let’s get you
home.” I couldn’t argue with that. The shelter of our LA mansion was all I needed right now.
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