Chapter 2.

Etiquette Matters

Chapter 2: Etiquette Matters

Objectives:
1. Define etiquette, manners, and protocols
2. Identify the different guidelines for living
3. Explain the importance of etiquette in everyday life

Introduction

Some people argue that etiquette no longer matters, that the rules for good
behavior are old-fashioned and out of date. However, good behavior and manners
are never out of style. Etiquette, like all other cultural behaviors, evolves to match the
times. Without etiquette, members of society would show far too much impatience
and disrespect for one another, which would lead to insults, dishonesty, cheating,
road rage, fist fights, and a rash of other unfortunate incidents.

Etiquette is merely a set of guidelines for politeness and good manners, the
kindnesses with which we should always treat each other.

ETIQUETTE

- Etiquette, the complex network of rules that govern good behavior and our
social and business interactions, is always evolving and changing as society
changes. It reflects our cultural norms, generally accepted ethical codes, and
the rules of various groups we belong to.

- It helps us show respect and consideration to others and makes others glad that
we are with them. Without proper manners and etiquette, the customs of
polite society would soon disappear and we would act more like animals and
less like people.

- Good behavior which distinguishes human beings from animals

- Behaving yourself a little better as an essential

- Guidelines which control the way a responsible individual should behave in the
society.

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A. BRIEF HISTORY:

The Maxims of Ptahhotep (2375–2350 BC) – written by Ptahhotep

- Book of didactic precepts extolling civil virtues, such as truthfulness, self-
control, and kindness towards other people.
- Recurrent thematic motifs in the maxims include learning by listening to other
people, and that being mindful of the imperfection of human knowledge;
thus, avoiding open conflict, wherever possible, should not be considered
weakness.

Confucius (551–479 BC)

- He was the Chinese intellectual and philosopher whose works emphasized
personal and governmental morality, correctness of social relationships, the
pursuit of justice in a personal dealing, and sincerity in all personal relations.

Cortegiano or The Book of the Courtier (1478–1529) by Baldassare Castiglione

- An exemplar courtesy book dealing with questions of the etiquette and
morality of the courtier during the Italian Renaissance. It is a lengthy
philosophical dialogue on the topic of what constitutes an ideal courtier or
(in the third chapter) court lady, worthy to befriend and advise a Prince or
political leader.

Louis XIV (1638–1718)

- King of France, used a codified etiquette to tame the French nobility and
assert his supremacy as the absolute monarch of France. In consequence, the
ceremonious royal court favorably impressed foreign dignitaries whom the king
received at the seat of French government, the Palace of Versailles, to the
south-west of Paris.

B. COMPOSITION OF ETIQUETTE:

1. Respect - a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by

their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
2. Eye Contact - the act of ethically maintaining proper sharp look into
someone’s eye every right time.
3. Awareness - concern about and well-informed interest in a particular
situation or development.
4. Communication - the successful conveying or sharing of ideas and feelings.
Also known as social contact to be maintained for future businesses.
5. Networking - the action or process of interacting with others to exchange
information and develop professional or social contacts.
6. Manners - a person's outward bearing or way of behaving toward others in
a polite or well-bred social behavior.
7. Smile - a pleased, kind, or amused facial expression, typically with the corners
of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.
8. Kindness - the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.

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C. NEED FOR ETIQUETTES

a. Etiquette makes you a cultured individual who leaves his mark wherever
he goes.
b. It teaches you the way to talk, walk and most importantly behave in the
society.
c. It is essential for an everlasting first impression. The way you interact with your
superiors, parents, fellow workers, friends speak a lot about your personality and
up- bringing.
d. Etiquette enables the individuals to earn respect and appreciation in the
society. No one would feel like talking to a person who does not know how to
speak or behave in the society.
e. Etiquette helps individuals to value relationships.
f. Etiquette provides personal security. Knowing how to behave
appropriately in a given situation makes you more comfortable.
g. It protects the feelings of others. Proper etiquette requires that you make
others comfortable and protect their feelings. You do not point out their errors
or draw attention to their mistakes.
h. It makes communication clearer. Etiquette enhances communication by
breaking down barriers, not erecting them.
i. It will enhance your status at work. In any working situation, you are perceived
as more capable, more professional, and more intelligent if you are familiar
with the proper code of conduct for the workplace.
j. It makes good first impressions. The first five to seven seconds after you meet
someone are crucial. Your first impression lingers in the other person's mind long
after you are gone. If you use proper etiquette, that first impression will be a
positive one.

Society and our culture are now changing so fast that it is hard for the rules of
etiquette to keep up. Keep in mind that etiquette is meant to be a guideline, not a set
of strict rules carved in stone. Those guidelines are developed using common sense,
a sense of fairness, politeness, and above all, consideration for others. If you let
consideration for others be your final arbiter, you will be well on your way to being the
kind of polite person who understands the rules of etiquette instinctively.

D. TYPES OF ETIQUETTES

1. Eating Etiquettes - Individuals must follow certain decorum while eating

in public.
a. Wash your hand before and after the meal
b. Don’t make noise while eating.
c. One should not leave the table unless and until everyone has finished
eating.
d. Chew with your mouth closed
e. Hold your utensils properly
f. Wait to be served
g. Ask for whatever you want instead of reaching out directly or pointing
at dishes
h. Don’t talk with food in your mouth

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i. Don’t talk on your cell phone during the meal and if you want to get up
in between, ask to be “excused”
j. Don’t put your elbows on the table

2. Telephone Etiquettes - It is essential to learn how one should interact with

the other person over the phone. It refers to the way an individual should
speak on the phone.
a. Ensure the number is correct
b. Identify yourself immediately, don’t make them guess who is calling
c. Never put the other person on long holds.
d. Make sure you greet the other person.
e. Take care of your pitch and tone
f. Know how to answer the phone
g. Don’t spend hours talking
h. Don’t interrupt while the other person is speaking.
i. Observe courtesies like “Hello”, “Please”, “Thank you” and “good bye”
j. Ask them if it’s convenient to talk now. Make sure you are not disturbing
them
k. If you dial up wrong number, apologize. Don’t just hang up.

3. Corporate Etiquettes - refers to how an individual should behave while

at work
a. Each one needs to maintain the decorum of the organization.
b. Treat your co-workers, cleaners, maintenance people and others with
respect and courtesy
c. Show respect for each other’s work space, knock before entering
d. Don’t gossip about anything
e. Reach office on time
f. Take responsibility for your mistakes, apologize and go about correcting
the mistakes
g. Keep your work area tidy, try not to be messy
h. Always give respect to older than yourself even if they are junior to you
in position
i. Put your phone on silent or vibrating mode at workplace
j. Make sure you turn off the monitor while you go out for lunch or tea
breaks
k. Never wear casual wears at work. and females should avoid wearing
heavy jewelry at work

4. Meeting Etiquettes - refers to styles one need to adopt when he is

attending any meeting, seminar, presentation and so on.
a. Be punctual, even better turn up earlier but don’t be late. It is extremely
rude to arrive late for meeting
b. Never enter meeting room without a notepad and pen. It is important
to note down important points for future reference
c. Listen to what the other person has to say.
d. Pay attention to the proceedings quietly, don’t shuffle your papers
e. Make sure handout, power point slides are ready and organized
f. Do not dominate the meeting. All communication must take place
through the chairperson
g. Don’t interrupt the speakers or other attendees

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h. Meeting should have a break every two hours. Breaks should be 20

minutes long and meal break should be 30 minutes long
i. Do not leave the meeting until it is closed by the chairperson
j. As the meeting leader, thank people for attending and request
feedback
k. As the participant, provide your feedback.
l. Don’t ask long questions.

5. Business Etiquettes - includes ways to conduct a certain business in

various areas.
a. Don’t ever cheat customers. It is simply unethical.
b. Your customers rely on your expertise and knowledge. So, be helpful and
honest
c. If there is conflict, do not get personal in your remarks
d. Keep calm, do not lose your temper
e. The old adage that the customer is always right
f. If you have a website it should be a pleasure not a pain to visit
g. Keep your website informative and helpful
h. Speak softly, clearly with good eye contact to your customers
i. If you employ a receptionist, make sure that they do not take out their
frustration on your clients

6. Social Etiquettes - important for an individual as it teaches how to

behave in the society
a. Say Thank you always, especially when someone holds or open the door
for you
b. Walk on the sides of the road
c. Don’t talk while you cross a road or driving a vehicle
d. Wear headphones when you listening a music in public
e. Do not smoke in prohibited places
f. Leave the seats for ladies and disabled persons in bus or train, if possible
g. Take permission to enter in someone’s personal room
h. Be on time
i. Talk quietly
j. Don’t split in public place
k. Do not cough or sneeze in anyone’s direction. Use a tissue, if possible
l. Don’t talk behind others back
m. Don’t swear - It impresses nobody

MANNERS

It is how people are supposed to behave. Good manners mean you are
proper, polite and refined. Manners are similar to laws but there is no punishment for
bad manners other than people may disapprove of you.

MANNERS CHANGE OVER TIME. Manners may be different depending on

where you live in the world. Manners are developed depending on the environment
of a person.

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THE COMMON COURTESIES OF LIFE

The common courtesies of life are the endless little gestures we make almost
unconsciously as we move through our day. As we go to work and muddle through
our day, we interact with bus drivers, waitresses, people on the street, and countless
others. How we interact with these individuals can affect their day and ours. The
common courtesies of life, from treating a frazzled server with respect to smiling at the
person seated across from us on the bus, should never be forgotten.

Moving Through Your Day

Getting through the day can be rough for some of us. If you have a busy
schedule, a grueling day at school, you may have a lot on your mind that puts you in
a foul mood. The people around you may be feeling just as miserable, but you do not
necessarily want their misery dumped on you, so do not share yours with them.
Instead, take the time to be courteous and uphold the small courtesies of life, even
when you feel like you would like to sock someone in the nose. Other people will feel
better and so will you if you keep making the effort to be polite and share a brief smile
or pleasantry.

From Here to There

Whether you are walking, taking a cab or using public transportation, you will
interact with others while you go from point A to point B. Do not act like you are the
only person on the sidewalk or road or assume you have the right of way in every
situation. Etiquette calls for defensive driving and regard for the safety of others in
every situation.

 Pedestrians should never cross traffic against the traffic light. It insinuates
you are above the law and have no regard for drivers on the road.
 When you are walking, do not avoid eye contact. Look at others and
smile, giving them a brief nod. It may give them a pleasant start to their
day. Do not stare; however, a brief glance and smile are friendly and
appropriate without making the other person uncomfortable.
 Drivers should never use their car horn unless it is an emergency and they
are trying to warn someone to get out of the way. When you honk at
someone because you are irritated on a busy city street, you are not
only bothering that person, you are annoying dozens of other people
around you.
 If you use public transportation, keep in mind that the person driving is a
professional and should be treated with respect. This person is also going
to be holding your life in his or her hands for the duration of your travels
in that vehicle, which is not something to be taken lightly.
 Always greet the driver when you get on a bus or into a taxi and thank
the person when you leave.
 If you see someone running to catch the jeepney, let the jeepney driver
know so that she or he can wait if possible.
 Any time you are riding on public transportation and see a person who
may be uncomfortable standing for any length of time, offer that person

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your seat. This includes pregnant women, the elderly, anyone on

crutches, the disabled, or the blind.
 Do not let your possessions infringe on others' personal space. If you get
on public transportation with shopping bags, or sample cases, do not
put them on the seat next to you or set them in the aisle where others
can trip over them. If you can, put them underneath the seat; if you
cannot, hold them on your lap. Otherwise, hold everything as tightly to
your sides as possible. Remember, buses and other transportation
services are for people and are not meant to be your personal delivery
service.

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Name: ______________________________________
ACTIVITY 2.1 - Reflection Activity on Everyday Manners and Etiquette

Instructions: Identify 10 situations/scenarios that you have been on your random days as a
student or as a part of your family. Think of a scenario wherein there is a need for your
help/assistance, or there is a problem at hand, or when you were confused whether you should
have acted nice or ignored the situation. Write that on the left column. On the right column,
assess yourself, if you think you have acted on the situation acceptably. If you think you acted
terrible, write what should you have done right.

Note: I am looking for your personal experiences, not someone else’s story. Just be honest on
writing your story. Everyone has their own appalling moments.

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