Hindu - Marriage

In Hindu life, marriage is not only the most important of all the rituals but it is also a
wonderful coordination of sacrifice and enjoyment. Through this, efforts like religion, wealth,
work and salvation can be fulfilled. Western thinkers have clarified marriage as an institution
whose purpose is only to legitimize sexual satisfaction and the birth of a child, but all these
scholars have failed to understand the Hindu philosophy of life so much that their views are
nothing more than a biased notion. are not. Scholars like Robert Wifalt have also added many
customs and rituals to Hindu marriage to clarify the priority of sexual relations in Hindu
marriage. The reality is that such thoughts are completely baseless. In Hindu life, marriage is
a religious rite whose sole purpose is to provide an opportunity to a person to fulfill his
religious and social duties. This is the reason why even after many institutions of Hindu
society have become orthodox, the institution of marriage still exists as a useful institution.
People who want radical changes in the Hindu social system also do not want any change in
the fundamental format of this institution. Chastity and permanence are the two main features
associated with Hindu marriages which are attracting even today's societies which are now
looking for a permanent solution to the conflicts arising out of materiality. From this point of
view, the purpose of the present chapter is to mention this important nature of Hindu
marriage and the main ideals and rules related to it.
Meaning of Hindu Marriage
Many attempts have been made to define marriage but the nature of Hindu marriage cannot
be explained by any single definition. Even after this, the way Westermarck has defined
marriage as an institution is definitely helpful in clarifying some characteristics of Hindu
marriage. According to him, “Marriage is a relationship of one or more men to one or more
women which is recognised by custom or law, and involves certain rights and duties of both
in the case of parties entering the union and in the case of children born of it.” In this
definition, only two characteristics of Hindu marriage, i.e. importance of customs and a
blurred outline of the rights and duties of the spouses are visible. From this point of view,
even this definition does not fully explain the nature of Hindu marriage.
The reality is that Hindu marriage is not a convenient, temporary or legal bond but is a
lifelong religious bond, breaking which is against Hindu social values. Hindu marriage is not
a contractual contract but a religious rite. Its purpose is to inspire the husband and wife to
fulfil various pursuits (Dharma, Artha, Kama and Moksha) throughout their life. Contrary to
Western ideology, sexual satisfaction (Kama) is not given any importance in Hinduism. It has
even been accepted that "Only persons of unholy disposition enter into marriage relations for
sexual gratification." The sole purpose of sexual relations under Hindu marriage is
“procreation of a son” by which Dharma functions could be fulfilled. Keeping in view the
importance of religion in marriage, it has been said that “अयज्ञियो एष व योपत्नीकः”
means a person without a wife has no right to perform Yagya. According to Vedic belief,
salvation cannot be achieved without Yagya. Attaining salvation is the ultimate goal of every
person's life, hence marriage is also an essential necessity of life. If we include all these
characteristics in one definition and clarify them, then it can be said that Hindu marriage is a
religious rite which allows a man and a woman to establish sexual relations institutionally to
fulfil a religious purpose and determines the individual's position in society and family.
Objectives of Hindu Marriage
Hindu marriage is an essential social and religious act. Without this, those responsibilities
which are considered an integral part of the Indian social system cannot be fulfilled. It is
accepted that the life of every Hindu is full of many rinns (debts). Among these rinns, the
main ones are dev rinn, rishi rinn, pitri rinn, atithi rinn and jeev rinn. A person can attain
salvation only when he faithfully fulfills the duties of various ashrams. In these ashrams, the
importance of Grihasthashram is the most, only by staying in it, a person can do the practice
of religion, meaning, work and salvation. In this way, the main purpose of Hindu marriage is
to provide such opportunities and rights to the person so that he can get rid of various debts or
achieve the goal of renunciation through enjoyment. These objectives can be briefly
understood as follows:
1) Fulfillment of Religious Rituals - Yagya has been of utmost importance in Hindu social
life since the Vedic era. At this time, it was mandatory for every person to participate in the
Yagya, but at the same time, the results of the Yagya could not be achieved unless this work
was done with the wife. Thus, the main objective of marriage is to provide an opportunity to
the person to complete religious activities like Yagya. It should always be kept in mind that
fundamentally Hinduism meant the fulfilment of various duties of life. These duties are called
'Yagya'. We have mentioned these in the previous discussion.
2) Procreation of a Son - The main purpose of marriage is to give birth to a successful and
long lived son. This is because in Hindu life, it is only the son's job to offer Pinda Daan to the
ancestors and complete the rites performed after death. The authors of the scriptures might
have accepted the birth of a son as a religious duty considering the continuity of the society
and the need for the survival of the lineage. Apart from this, no person can be free of pitri
rinn (debt) to his ancestors until he himself gives birth to a son. This is the reason why at the
time of Saptapadi, while taking the first step in the process of marriage, the bride and groom
wish that together they will have many sons and that they will survive till old age. It is also
clearly stated in Mahabharata that “The man who does not give birth to a child (son) is
irreligious.” Many mythological stories also clarify the purpose of having a son in marriage.
3) Rati - The meaning of Rati is to fulfil Kama in a manner recognized by the society and
thus to make the mental life balanced. Fulfilment of Rati is definitely accepted as an objective
in Hindu marriage but it is not related to lust or adultery but to a sense of duty. Mr. Kapadia
states that “though sex or sexual gratification is one of the purposes of marriage, it is given a
third place. This also makes it clear that this is a very less desirable purpose of marriage. To
give the lowest role to sexual relations in marriage, it has also been said that “Only shudras
marry to fulfil sexual desires.”
In the religious scriptures, the main importance has been given to these three objectives of
Hindu marriage, i.e. Dharma, Praja (procreation) and Rati, but along with this, this institution
is also important from the point of view of fulfilling some other objectives. First of all, its
main objective is to keep personal life organized. To make this objective clear, the mutual
rights and duties of husband and wife are explained at the time of marriage itself. Through
many rules and regulations, they are made aware of the reality of life and daily difficulties, so
that they can develop their personality properly by keeping their mental life balanced. This is
the reason that the form of family in Hindu social life is much more organized than in other
societies of the world and various types of stress related to life are the least in our society
even today. Another major objective of this organization is to develop the feeling of family
responsibility and sacrifice in the individual. To achieve this objective, marriage has been
given the form of a religious rite in which husband and wife can learn to adapt from each
situation and fulfill their responsibility towards the children. According to Kapadia,
determining a person's position in society is also an important objective of Hindu marriage.
This objective becomes clear from the fact that since very ancient times, in the Hindu social
system, no status is provided in the family and society to a person who is not married.
Forms of Hindu Marriage
Eight forms of Hindu marriage are mentioned in the Grihya Sutras and Smritis. Before
understanding these different forms of marriage, it is important to know that Hindu writers
have always been aware of the respect and dignity of women in the society. This is the reason
that even if a man established sexual relations with a woman through irregular and devious
means, efforts were made to later recognize such a relationship as marriage. So that the
woman's life can be saved from being destroyed. In this way, the eight forms of marriage
actually explain the different eight conditions of marriage. Among these eight forms of
marriage, the first four forms are valid while the other four forms are invalid or of inferior
quality and are allowed only under certain special circumstances. Brahma, Arya and
Prajapatya marriages are included in the first category while Asura, Gandharva, Rakshasa and
Paishach marriages come in the second category. It has been said in Manusmriti that the
person born from the first class marriage is virtuous, successful, studious and wealthy, while
the result of second marriages is the birth of false, vicious and anti-religion children. These
different forms of marriage can be explained in brief as follows:
1) Brahma Vivah - This is the best kind of marriage among all the marriages. Manu says that
when the girl's father invites a worthy, Veda-versed, virtuous and virtuous groom and gives
the girl along with jewelery as a gift, then this method is called Brahma marriage. At present,
this form of marriage is most prevalent.
2) Divine Marriage (Daiva Vivah) - It is said in Manusmriti that “At the time of Yagya,
when the girl is donated to the priest (Ritvik) who properly conducts the Yagya by adorning
herself with ornaments, then this type of marriage is called Divine Marriage.” In ancient
times, due to the special importance of Yagyas, it was considered best to marry a girl to a
priest. Manu even says that the children born from such a marriage bring salvation to the
people of seven generations above and seven generations below. In fact, this is an
exaggeration. Many Smriti writers have also bitterly criticized this form because in such
marriages there is a possibility of considerable difference in the age of the bride and groom. It
appears that this form of marriage also did not remain prevalent in practice, although an
attempt was definitely made to establish the superiority of the priests.
3) Arsh Vivah - The father of the girl, who wants to get married, buys a pair of bulls and a
cow from the sage and marries his daughter with him, then such a marriage is called ‘Arsh
Vivah’. There is disagreement in the scriptures as to why a pair of bulls and cows have been
included in the marriage ceremony. Most likely, this type of gift was used to assure the girl's
parents that the sage had indeed decided to get married. Thus, this marriage is called 'Arsh
Vivah' because it is related to the sages. In the present times, this form of marriage does not
exist.
4) Prajapatya Vivah - When the father of the girl gives the bride to the groom by saying
‘both of you together should practice Dharma throughout your life’, then such marriage is
called Prajapatya Vivah. In fact, there does not seem to be any fundamental difference
between the method and ideals of Prajapatya and Brahma marriage. On this basis, Dr. Altekar
has expressed the doubt that this system has been given a separate form only to complete the
number of eight types of marriage. This statement does not seem appropriate. In fact,
Prajapatya means one who protects the people or the common people. This makes it clear that
under the Brahma marriage, where it was necessary for the girl's father to arrange things and
jewelery for his daughter, under the Prajapatya system, it was not necessary to gift the girl
with things and ornaments even after the Vedic rites of marriage. Such marriages, despite
being under the traditional Vedic system, would have been practiced by the common people
or the poor class, whereas the practice of Brahmi marriage would have been limited only to
the rich and elite class.
Asur Vivah - According to Manusmriti, ‘When the girl is married deliberately by giving her
(or her father) as much money as possible and willingly, then it is called Asur Vivah’. This
marriage is of poor quality. Under this, all those marriages can be included, which are
concluded by taking bride price. Although some scholars consider this amount to be a
complementary amount for the girl, which is appropriate for her parents, but in the upper
castes, such a marriage is still seen as a social crime. Such marriages are still prevalent
among many lower castes, but Baudhayan and many other scripture writers were even of the
opinion that a woman bought with money cannot be called a wife.
Gandharva Vivah - When the bride and the groom, under the influence of lust, establish
sexual relations before marriage, then such marriage is called Gandharva marriage. In such
marriages the wishes of the parents have no importance. Initially, because such marriages
took place between handsome Gandharvas and sensual kinnaris, hence such marriages were
called Gandharva marriages. At present such marriages are called ‘love marriages’. Although
most of the scripture writers have harshly criticized Gandharva marriage, Baudhayana and
Vatsyayana considered this form of marriage to be the best and more important than others
because it depends on the free will of the bride and groom.
Rakshas Vivah - It is said in Manusmriti that if a woman is abducted in war and married to
her, then such marriage is called demon marriage. This type of marriage was probably most
prevalent during the Mahabharata period, when even huge wars were fought to abduct a girl.
Krishna and Arjun themselves also acquired wives through war. This makes it clear that
before Manusmriti, such marriages would not have been considered pure. The practice of
marrying the desired woman through war was more common among the Kshatriyas. That is
why they are also called Kshatra Vivah. Later such marriages came to be considered inferior.
Therefore, there was widespread opposition to them. In the present day such marriages do not
exist at all.
Paisaach Vivah - According to Manu, “If a person commits forceful misdeeds with a girl
who is sleeping, intoxicated, drunk or going alone at night and later marries her, then such a
marriage is called Paisaach Marriage which is a violation of all the principles of marriage. It
is the most unrighteous among all the forms.” Although this situation is a situation of incest,
but to maintain the honor of the woman, such marriages are later recognized. Although the
staunch, moralistic people like Vashishtha and Apastambh have not recognized such
marriages at all, but due to the absence of any fault of the woman in such marriages, many
theologians have recognized it even though they consider it to be the worst.
In the present society, Brahmin marriage is recognized as a general rule of marriage. As an
exception, Gandharva, Asura and Paishach marriages are still prevalent, but Daiva, Arsh and
Rakshasa marriages have completely disappeared from the society. An important question
arises from this whether it would be appropriate to call the above mentioned methods as
forms of Hindu marriage? The reality is that the above mentioned marriage methods relate
only to a wide variety of situations. At most, we can classify Brahmin marriage, Prajapatya
marriage and Gandharva marriage as a special form, but other methods are not related to any
specific system but only throw light on some special circumstances of marriage.
Hindu Marriage: A Sacrament
From the previously mentioned purposes and forms of Hindu marriage, it becomes clear that
it is not a contract or a temporary bond but a religious sacrament. How is Hindu marriage a
sacrament? Before answering this question, it is necessary to understand what is the meaning
of sanskar (culture)? In fact, sanskar means the process of purification to change the social
status of a person. According to Dr. Saxena, the word Sanskar refers to rituals that unlock the
potential of human life, which provide qualities that make a human being capable of social
life and by which a person is given a special social status. From this point of view, Hindu
marriage is definitely a sacrament because it elevates the individual's life through religious
rituals, refines life, socializes human nature and determines the duties and rights of the
individual through various religious injunctions. Hindu marriage does all those things so that
a person can fulfill his various responsibilities sincerely and can make himself worthy of
social life by developing the qualities of self-control and sacrifice. It will become clear from
the following characteristics of Hindu marriage that it is completely a religious ritual:
1) Religion is the Basis of Marriage – The purpose of Hindu marriage is not for sexual
satisfaction but to fulfil religious duties. Even if 'work' is given some importance, it is only
for the sake of having a son, so that the religious rituals towards the ancestors of that lineage
can be fulfilled. It is said in Manusmriti that the son is the one who saves the father from the
hell called 'Put'. Thus, the place of sexual relations in Hindu marriage is a minor one,
although its ultimate purpose is to fulfil the more important duties of life. This task is similar
to that before cleaning a vessel, it has to be soiled with ashes for some time. Kapadia says
that "When Hindu thinkers considered religion as the first and highest goal of marriage and
gave second place to procreation, then it is natural that religion dominates marriage." Apart
from this, the statement that in the absence of a wife, neither ancestral debt can be repaid nor
religious duties can be fulfilled, also makes it clear that Hindu marriage is a process of
refinement of the individual.
2) Means of attaining Salvation - In religious scriptures, marriage has been called the 'door
to heaven'. This is because only through marriage a person can enter the householder's
ashram and perform various yagyas. A person's life is full of many debts which we have
discussed earlier. These debts cannot be repaid through various yagyas unless one marries.
Without marriage, a person cannot fulfil the responsibilities of Sanyas and Vanaprastha
Ashram. There are many such examples in religious scriptures which make it clear that many
sages tried to attain heaven by remaining unmarried but they could not attain heaven until
they got married. On this basis, while clarifying the religious importance of marriage in life,
Manu says that “Just as all living beings survive with the support of air, in the same way the
people of all ashrams survive with the help of the householder.”
3) Durability of Marriage Relationship - Hindu marriage is also a religious ritual because
in it the relationship between husband and wife is considered unbreakable and lasting from
birth to birth. Without giving a religious form to marriage, it could never have achieved such
stability. Through Hindu marriage, explaining the importance of husband and the vow of
dharma to the wife and the mention of the ideal of pativrata dharma in religious scriptures
and Puranas also makes marriage clear as a religious sacrament. Traditionally no man or
woman has been allowed to divorce their spouse. The reason for this is the Hindu beliefs
according to which the relationship between husband and wife is not of one birth but of many
births. Probably, such beliefs have been propounded only so that permanent and cordial
relations can be maintained on religious basis between the two parties involved in the
marriage.
4) Determinant of a person's Status - Traditional Indian society has been religion-oriented
and a person's status in the society has been determined to a large extent by the family. In the
Indian social system, an unmarried person has no place in property, family and society and at
the same time he is viewed with suspicion on every occasion. On the contrary, marriage is a
kind of certificate through which one gets the right to participate in all religious activities and
attain a special status in social life. Thus, in a religious society, marriage is recognized as a
religious rite because a person's social status is determined by it.
5) Religious Rites and Rituals - The biggest feature of Hindu marriage as a sacrament is that
the entire process of marriage is full of religious rites and rituals, through which religion is
clearly established as the only responsibility in marital life. Is done. The number of major
rituals and rites which are performed in this entire process of marriage has been stated by
P.V. Kane to be 39. In the presented discussion, we will mention only some rites related to
Hindu marriage in which the religious nature of marriage as a rite can be understood:
a) Vaghdaan - This is the first important ritual of the marriage ceremony in which the
groom's proposal is accepted by the bride's side. Today, although this acceptance is done by
the groom's side, still the practice of reciting the same Vedic mantras remains. In which there
is mention of Som proposing marriage to the girl's father. There is also a provision in the
Grihyasutras for the proposal to be made by the groom's side and acceptance by the bride's
side. Probably, due to the decline in the status of women in the medieval period, the groom's
side got the right to accept the proposal.
b) Kanyadaan - At the time of marriage, the father of the girl, by giving his daughter as
'donation' to the invited groom, takes an assurance from the groom that he will never abandon
his wife in the pursuit of religion, money and work. This ritual makes clear the ideal of the
wife remaining her husband's lifelong companion.
c) Agnisthapan - After Kanyadaan, fire is lit as a witness to the permanent bond of the bride
and groom. A water pot is kept towards the north-east direction of this fire which is a symbol
of prosperity and purity. The bride and groom make offerings to the fire and thus the fire is
prayed for strength and happiness.
d) Paanigrahan - Paanigrahan means “to accept the hand of another.” For this, the groom
sits facing west; Whereas the bride sits right in front of the groom, facing east. Then the
groom holds the bride's hand and chants these words through six mantras, “I hold your hand
and wish for happiness, you stay with me till old age, my duty is to nurture you and you give
birth to children through me and live for 100 years.” All these mantras make clear the
responsibility of Grihastha Ashram.
e) Lajahom - After the marriage ceremony, the bride and groom stand facing east. Then the
bride takes fried grains from her brother and throws them in the fire pit and prays to the gods
to join herself to her husband's clan. At the same time, she also prays to the Gods for her
husband to be healthy and their love for each other to increase.
f) Agni-Parinayan - Under this, the bride and groom revolve around the fire. Witnessing the
fire, they say to each other - I am Samveda, you are Rigveda; I am heaven, you are earth;
May we both marry, give birth to people, may we have many sons, may they live long, be
bright and strong-minded; Both of us and our hundred sons may be able to have vision for a
hundred years, may live for a hundred years, may be able to hear for a hundred years.
g) Saptapadi - This is the most important ritual. For Saptapadi, the bride and groom take
seven steps towards the north. Various wishes are made while taking each step together.
While taking the first step wish for ‘food’, in the second wish for ‘physical and mental
strength’ in the third, wish for ‘wealth’, in the fourth ‘happiness’, in the fifth ‘children’, in the
sixth ‘nature’s help’ and while placing the last step, ‘family harmony’ is wished for. Along
with all this, the groom also wishes that both their minds become compatible with each other.
After this ritual the marriage is considered complete.
All the above mentioned features make Hindu marriage a religious sacrament. In this regard,
a question may arise that the process of marriage refines the individual in all societies. Then
why is marriage not a sacrament in other religions? In fact, marriage is a ritual in every
society, but in the Hindu social system its form is relatively more organized. Secondly, due to
the inclusion of contracts and convenient conditions in marriage in some other religions, the
element of religiosity in marriage has reduced to some extent. Whereas Hindu marriage is
completely associated with religious life and hence it has become a clearly religious rite.
The Rules of Hindu Marriage
Hindu marriage is a complex institution associated with many religious injunctions and
prohibitions. It is believed that in the Vedic period, these beliefs related to marriage were
either not very important or people had a very liberal attitude towards them, but later these
rules related to marriage became an essential part of behaviour in every situation. These
beliefs of Hindu marriage can be divided into three parts. a) Endogamy (Antarvivah), b)
Exogamy (Bahirvivah), c) Anulom and Pratiloma. By briefly discussing these beliefs, the
ritualistic nature of Hindu marriage will become more clear.
1. Endogamy
According to the religious scriptures, every Hindu has been instructed to marry within his
own varna, but today because the entire varna system is divided into thousands of castes, it is
expected from all the castes that they should only establish marital relations within their own
caste. Thus, it can be said that intermarriage is that marital rule which allows a man or a
woman to marry within their own caste or sub-caste. The scope of intermarriage was quite
wide till the Vedic and post-Vedic period. The reason was that till this time Brahmins,
Kshatriyas and Vaishyas were considered Dwijas and only the Shudra varna was seen as a
separate group. As a result, the meaning of intermarriage was to choose a life partner within
the Dwija or upper caste people. Later, when all the castes started getting separated from each
other, then the meaning of intermarriage came to be marrying a woman or a man of one's
own caste. From the beginning of Smriti period, division of castes and sub-castes started on
the basis of blood quality and purity of religious rituals and thus the meaning of intermarriage
became limited to marriage only within one's own sub-caste. Religious intermarriage came to
be understood to mean not only marriage within one's own caste but also marriage with
members of one's own caste within a particular language-speaking area. Thus it can be said
more clearly that in the present time intermarriage is the rule according to which a person is
allowed to marry a member of his own religion, caste, region and social status. Thus, in
practice today, five forms of intermarriage are prevalent. Caste endogamy, religious
endogamy, area endogamy, species endogamy and class endogamy. In view of this limited
scope of marriage, Shri Ketkar has said in very sarcastic words that “There are some Hindu
castes which cannot marry outside fifteen families.”
Reasons for Intermarriage - Although initially the policy of intermarriage was propounded
to prevent the mixing of blood between Aryan and Dravidian castes, but later the prevalence
of intermarriage increased on the basis of many other reasons. 1) First of all, the development
of Jainism and Buddhism proved to be an influential reason for giving concrete shape to the
policy of intermarriage. With the development of these religions, the power of the Brahmins
declined significantly. When the Brahmins regained their power, they made the rules of
intermarriage extremely stringent. So that no person can go out of the scope of his caste.
Thus, from the Smriti period to the medieval period, the purpose of intermarriage was to
maintain the influence of the caste system. 2) The second reason for this was the attack of
Muslims on Hindu society. An important policy of the Muslims was to force Hindus to
convert, forcibly marry Hindu women and attack Hindu culture. In this situation, an attempt
was made to stop every person from converting to religion by making the necessity of the
rule of intermarriage clear to them. 3) The third reason for intermarriage was the cultural
differences of different castes. Each caste began to realize that their cultural and religious
characteristics were quite different from those of other castes. In this way, each sub-caste
started emphasizing on establishing marriage relations with its own members so that they can
easily adapt in the group and family. 4)The fourth reason for this policy was the regional
centralization of various castes. Due to lack of transportation and communication facilities,
members of the caste lived in a particular area only and thus the question of establishing
relations with other groups did not arise. Later this practice took a religious form. 5)
Ultimately, this rule started being recognized by various groups from the point of view of
protecting their professional knowledge. Different castes gradually began to believe that only
through intermarriage could they prevent their professional and religious knowledge from
going to other groups or castes.
The reality is that intermarriage, whatever its form, has posed a serious hindrance to social
progress. Due to religious intermarriage, religious narrow-mindedness has increased, as a
result of caste and caste intermarriage, social contact became so limited that all groups started
adopting the policy of discrimination from each other, while due to regional intermarriage,
regional separation was greatly encouraged. The policy of intermarriage concentrated the
entire professional and creative knowledge in a particular group, as a result of which not only
social progress was halted, but the society was also deprived of the benefits derived from the
special knowledge of different groups. In the modern era, as a result of spread of education,
industrialization, advancement in means of transportation and communication, establishment
of nuclear families and social laws, the bonds of intermarriage are becoming weak and the
prevalence of inter- caste marriage is increasing rapidly.
2. Exogamy
While intermarriage has been ordered in the Hindu society, on the other hand, strict
restrictions have been imposed on every person to establish marital relations with the
members of his own Gotra, Pravara and Pind. Thus, definitionally, it can be said that
"exogamy is the rule by which a person is prohibited from establishing marriage relations
with persons belonging to certain groups of his own caste." These groups are mainly Gotra,
Pravara and Pinda. In this way, the rule of not establishing marriage relations with one's
Gotra Pravara and Pinda is called exogamy. Shri Prabhu says that "Since its inception, in
every era, the rules of exogamy related to the concept of Gotra, Pravara and Pinda have
undergone so much change, modification and transformation that it has become almost
impossible to understand their fundamental meanings." Even amid this complexity, in the
following discussion we will try to clarify its nature by mentioning the various grounds and
forms of exogamy.
1) Gotra Exogamy - Gotra exogamy means establishing marriage relationship outside one's
gotra. From the explanation of the word Gotra in Rigveda, three-four possible meanings
emerge like cowshed, group of cows, mountain or action etc. This makes it clear that initially
only the people living within a circle would have been considered members of a clan.
Gradually all the people who believed in their origin from one ancestor started considering
themselves as members of one Gotra. Due to being related to a common ancestor, it came to
be believed that because all the men and women of a Gotra have the same blood, they are
brothers and sisters and hence marital relations cannot be established between them. Even if
the concept of blood relation among the members of the Gotra is imaginary, it is certain that
due to living in one place, it would have been considered necessary to maintain moral
relations between all the men and women of the same Gotra. Thus, to remove the fear of
relationships between members of the same clan, restrictions were placed on endogamy.
Shri Kapadia has presented many such evidences which show that there were no restrictions
of any kind on endogamy during the Vedic period. For example, during this period,
Swayamvara and Gandharva marriages were quite prevalent in which it was not possible to
maintain Gotra related restrictions. It is also mentioned in religious scriptures that “Dwijas
should avoid endogamy in Kaliyuga”. This statement makes it clear that these restrictions
would not have existed in practice at that time. Kapadia says that in Iran, from where the
Aryans came to India, there is no restriction on endogamy. Dr. Altekar is also of the same
opinion that there were no restrictions on endogamy in India till about 600 years before
Christ. It is more likely that Manu and his contemporary Smritis were the first to impose
strict restrictions on endogamy. Baudhayan even says that if a person, even out of ignorance,
marries a daughter of his own blood, then later on he should look after her like a mother.
Vigyaneshwar says that the real gotras are only of Brahmins. The gotras of Kshatriyas and
Vaishyas are based on the names of their priests whereas the Shudras do not have any gotras.
This also makes it clear that the concept of Gotra is not based on a common ancestor or blood
relations. Even after this, today almost all the sub-castes claim to be a separate gotra on the
basis of one or the other ancestor. Although the ban on endogamy has been abolished by the
new marriage laws, in practice even today all Hindus consider it necessary to follow the rule
of exogamy.
2) Pravara Exogamy - Kapadia is of the opinion that “Pravara indicates a school of ritual or
learning to which a person belongs”. According to the Vedic index, the meaning of Pravara is
"to call." This makes it clear that Pravara is not related to any kind of blood relation but to a
spiritual relation. Shri Prabhu is of the opinion that in ancient times, due to the great
importance of Yagya, people used to chant the names of their great sages while lighting the
fire. In this way, people pronouncing the name of the same ancestor or the same sage started
considering themselves as belonging to the same family. Later, the concept of Pravara
became of social importance, hence in many rituals, of which marriage ceremony is the most
important, the concept of Pravara started being given importance. On this basis, some
scholars made a rule that no man would marry a woman who was related to his family.
Shri PV Kane is of the opinion that restrictions on same pravara marriage started from the 3rd
century and after the 9th century, same pravara marriage started being considered an
unforgivable social crime. In the present era, due to the decline in the practice of Yagya etc.,
the existence of any concept like Pravara is not seen. The ban on same pravara marriage has
now been completely abolished by the Hindu Marriage Act 1955.
Sapind Exogamy - Before understanding the rules of Sapind exogamy, it is necessary to
understand the meaning of ‘Pind’. The word ‘Pind’ has been interpreted differently according
to the rules of ‘Mitakshara’ and ‘Dayabhaga’. According to Vijnaneshwar, the originator of
Mitakshara, Pinda means ‘identical blood particles’, that is, the persons in whom the blood of
the same ancestor is believed to be present are Sapinda. From this point of view, men and
women of the same caste cannot have marital relations with each other. According to
Jimutvahana, the originator of Dayabhaga, Pinda means those ‘rice balls’ which are offered
to the ancestors at the time of shraddha. All such persons who offer these balls of rice to the
same ancestor are Sapindas and hence marital relations cannot take place between their
children. It is also clear from the concept of Mitakshara that not only the members of father's
side are Sapinda but also the relatives of mother's side are Sapinda because the blood of both
mother and father is present in the child. Thus, according to the general rule of Sapinda
marriage, marriage between members of seven generations from the paternal side and up to
five generations from the maternal side is prohibited.
It appears that there was no strict restriction on Sapinda marriage till the Mahabharata period.
The proof of this is that people of social order like Shri Krishna, Arjun and Abhimanyu had
married their maternal uncle's daughter. Even today, the practice of marrying one's sister's
daughter is found in some areas of South India. Even after this, it would be appropriate to say
that after the Mahabharata period, restrictions were imposed on Sapinda marriage. The
current situation is that most Hindus give more recognition to Gotra exogamy than Sapind
exogamy and on the basis of this rule, many people do not establish marriage relations not
only in their own Gotra but also in the mother's Gotra. The Hindu Marriage Act 1955 also
recognizes the ban on Sapinda marriage for three generations each of the mother and father, if
the custom or tradition of any group considers it prohibited. This legal recognition makes
clear the widespread impact of Sapinda exogamy.
Apart from the above mentioned forms of exogamy, totem exogamy is also prevalent in some
Hindu tribes. It means that people who believe in a totem do not establish marriage relations
among themselves. Some more conservative Hindus also believe in direction exogamy, that
is, they do not bring into their home any girl from the direction in which their daughter is
married. It is merely an extension of the conservative tendency of such a belief which is not
mentioned in any religious text.
Merits of Exogamy – Exogamy has proven to have an important role in the field of bringing
different groups in contact with each other and increasing cultural unity. 1) First of all, from
the biological point of view, exogamy is a good system by which there is more possibility of
birth of a good child. Many biologists also believe in the same fact that due to marriage
between blood relatives, there is a possibility of physical defects in the child. Whereas as a
result of external marriage, healthy, intelligent and beautiful children are born. 2) As a result
of exogamy, different groups come in contact with each other and thus the chances of conflict
between them are greatly reduced. 3) This rule has also proved important for maintaining
morality in the group. If marriage is allowed even between blood relatives, then a situation of
immorality and incest can arise even in the family. The rule of exogamy eliminates this
doubt. Shri Kane says that through marriage, a generation gets the opportunity to remove its
physical defects because through this, blood combinations always take new forms. On this
basis, Sumner says that “Endogamy is conservative while exogamy is progressive.” This
means that recognition of intermarriage is the result of some special interests whereas
exogamy is actually useful for the society.
Disadvantages of Exogamy - Although biologically and morally exogamy is considered
appropriate, but this belief of marriage has also given rise to many social problems. Due to
exogamy, the scope of marriage has remained very limited instead of being wide because in
practice a person cannot establish marriage relations, not only within five generations on the
mother's side and seven generations on the father's side but also with any distant relatives.
This hinders the selection of a suitable life partner. The reality is that to a large extent this
ban on exogamy has been the main reason for problems like mismatched marriages and
dowry system.
Anulom and Pratiloma
The rule of Anulom and Pratiloma is so important in the beliefs of Hindu marriage that on the
basis of only this rule, the superiority of the upper castes in India has been maintained for so
long. Anulom is the rule by which a man is allowed to marry only a woman of equal or lower
social status than him. If the social status of the girl's caste is higher than that of the groom,
then such marriage is called Pratiloma marriage and strict controls have been imposed on
such marriages since before the Smriti period.
The scope of the rule of Anuloma marriage was very wide during the Vedic period and much
later. At this time, due to the prevalence of caste system in the society, Anulom was
understood to mean marriage of a man with a girl of his own or lower caste. It is also
mentioned in Manusmriti itself that a Brahmin can marry his own and all the three varnas
below him, a Kshatriya can marry both the varnas below him and a Vaishya can also marry a
Shudra girl below him. Even after this, in Manusmriti, permission for marriage ceremony is
given only for upper caste marriages. It is also said in Manusmriti that a Dwij, who marries a
woman of a lower caste instead of an upper caste woman, soon becomes a Shudra along with
his children and descendants. In Manusmriti, the process of formation of all the lower castes
is also considered to be the result of reverse marriage. It has been said that “The child born to
a Kshatriya man and a Brahmin woman is ‘Suta’, the child born to a Vaishya man to a
Kshatriya woman is ‘Magadh’ and the child born to a Vaishya man to a Brahmin woman is
‘Vaideha’.” Similarly, if a Vaishya, Kshatriya or Brahmin woman gives birth to a child from
a Shudra man, then such children are called Kshatta, Adham and Chandal respectively. After
this, if these mixed caste children give birth to a child from an upper caste woman, then the
children born in this way are ‘Shwapak’. The meaning is that according to Manu Smriti, the
castes called untouchable are the result of reverse marriages.
The reality is that the rule of Anulom was quite liberal in the beginning but after the decline
of Jainism and Buddhism, the four varnas got divided into thousands of castes respectively.
On the basis of purity of blood and religious purity, all these castes also started being
considered higher and lower than each other. On this basis, the rule of Anulom no longer
related to different varnas but became related to the notion of superiority and inferiority of all
castes and sub-castes. From here the rule of anulom marriage changed into the recognition of
noble marriage (hypergamy). The following picture explains how members of several high
and low sub-castes within the same caste are allowed to marry, according to the current
concept of Anulom marriage.
In this picture, four men and four women of four castes of different levels within the same
varna have been taken. The law of anulom marriage states that a woman belonging to the
fourth level of lineage or caste can be married to a man of the second, third or fourth highest
level in the male caste because if this happens, the social status of the man cannot be lower
than the social status of his wife. Similarly, a woman of the third level can be married only to
a man of the third, second and highest level. A woman of the second rank can only marry a
man of the second and highest rank, while a woman of the highest rank can marry only a man
of the highest rank. In this way (as is clear from the arrows in the picture) in the male
category, the man from the highest caste or clan will get the most opportunities for marriage,
while in the female category, the woman from the fourth level will get the most opportunities
for marriage. Thus the rule of Anuloma marriage is based on the belief that under no
circumstances should the caste status of the boy be lower than that of his wife. The above
mentioned rule of Anulom is just a principle. In practice, today every man establishes a
marriage relationship with a woman of his own caste. Dr. Radhakrishnan says that this trend
probably started from the tenth century onwards. After this, whenever a woman from a higher
caste was married to a man from a lower caste, then such marriage was called ‘Pratiloma
marriage’. Strict controls were imposed in the society on Pratiloma marriage and it was even
said in the religious scriptures that the children born as a result of Pratiloma marriage (in
which the caste of the wife is higher than the caste of the husband) do not inherit any caste
but they become ‘Chandalas or Nishad’. The reality is that initially the rule of Anulom was
made by the Aryans so that Aryan women could not marry Dravidian men, but later the
concept of purity of blood became so conservative that among the Dwijas (i.e. Brahmins,
Kshatriyas and Vaishyas) the various castes also got divided into several upper and lower
castes and due to Manusmriti being accepted as the only Hindu religious scripture, all these
castes started seeing Anulom as an essential rule of marriage.
Demerits of Anulom Marriage - In the field of marriage, the rule of forced marriage has given
rise to many serious social problems. 1) As a result, due to increased demand for boys among
the upper castes, dowry system became prevalent, which later spread to all castes like an
infectious disease. 2) Due to the increase in demand for girls among the lower castes, the
practice of girl value developed which still exists in many castes. Some scholars even believe
that a large part of the Muslims in India are a mixture of the lower castes here. It is for this
reason that the practice of Mehr (which is a kind of girl's dowry in the form of the ancient
tradition of Sadaq) could attain such a permanent form among the Muslims. 3) Due to the
increase in the demand for boys among the upper castes due to the Anulom rule, the practice
of polygamy was born and in some elite families of Bengal, men started having up to twenty
wives. 4) Over time, the rule of Anulom became so conservative that if a girl could not find a
groom from a higher caste, it was considered appropriate to marry the girl to an older person
from a higher caste. This increased the number of mismatched marriages to such an extent
that sometimes the age of a man's wife was less than that of his daughter. 5) It is natural that
in this situation the problem of child widows has become serious. 6) Due to the feeling of
nobility under Anuloma marriage, parents started trying to free themselves from their
responsibilities by marrying their children as soon as possible. As a result, the problem of
child marriage came to the fore. This rule of marriage increased conservatism so much that a
person was left with nothing except social problems and rituals. This situation proved to be a
major reason for our cultural decline.
Present Changes in Hindu Marriage
The process of change in the structure and traditional rules of Hindu marriage has also started
accelerating. The reality is that like all other institutions, efforts have been made from time to
time to bring changes in the ideals and beliefs of Hindu marriage, but as Panikkar says,
"Whenever an attempt is made to reform the law according to social needs." Those
institutions and conventions which had the blessings of the ancient Smritis became stronger.
In this way, the institutions which were bearing the imprint of Smritikars and were
flourishing since ancient times, may have undergone some modifications as per the customs
and traditions, but otherwise no changes could be made in them.
Today we are passing through a stage of transition in which due to the influence of Western
civilization and individualistic notions, there is great emphasis on re-examining, simplifying
and improving the classical methods. As a result, not only have there been changes in the
beliefs related to marriage, but arrangements have also been made to give legal form to these
changes through new acts. Thus, the changes related to marriage can be explained in the
following areas:
1) In the present times, the religious aspect of marriage is continuously weakening. Today,
the viewpoint of most of the people behind marriage is not to fulfill religious obligations but
to fulfil work and family needs. Due to the trend of indifference towards Shraddha, Tarpan
and Yagyas in social life, the birth of a son is not considered the ultimate goal of marriage.
The number of unmarried men and women is also continuously increasing, which is
completely contrary to traditional religious ideals.
2) Due to change in the beliefs of marriage, its institutional form has also changed. Many
people today do not believe in the ban on same gotra and same pravara marriages. Due to
increase in education and rational life, gradually aware people are beginning to understand
the loopholes of these beliefs.
3) Today the distinction between Anulom and Pratiloma is rapidly disappearing. Now the
number of marriage relations is not only increasing between people of different varnas, but
the stratification of high and low is also breaking down between different castes formed
under one varna.
4) Due to the Hindu Marriage Act in 1955, the marital privileges of the upper castes have
ended, with the help of which polygamous marriage was greatly encouraged in India. Due to
the prevalence of monogamy, Hindu married life has now become more balanced than
before.
5) Since widows have gained new rights in society and family, it is not considered
inappropriate for them to remarry. Due to this, the importance of women's free will in the
field of marriage is continuously increasing.
6) The number of inter-caste marriages has increased due to the continuous increase in
romance and education. Due to this, not only the marital beliefs have changed but there have
also been unprecedented changes in family ideals.
7) Today, because all people have the right to divorce by law, marriage cannot be called an
unbreakable and inseparable relationship. As a result, the foundation of the religious belief
has been shaken, according to which the relationship between husband and wife was related
to the concept of birth after birth.
8) 8) Today no rational person accepts that it is possible to follow religion only by marrying
off a girl at the age of four-five years or that marrying a girl even to an older person in a high
caste is a religious act. As a result of new ideas, today not only delayed marriage has been
encouraged but the girl's free will in marriage is being given utmost importance.
9) In the present time, the form of marriage is also adopting a commercial basis in which the
qualities of the bride are determined in advance through advertisements and the life partner is
selected through application forms. This is the extreme expression of the “compromising
tendency” in marriage.
As a result of the above mentioned changes, while many problems related to Hindu marriage
have been resolved, some new problems related to individualism and mental stress have also
emerged. It is difficult to tell how much change will take place in the form of Hindu
marriage, but it can definitely be said that due to the rapid changes in thoughts, the ideals of
marriage will move away from the religious aspect and become increasingly related to the
commercial and opportunistic aspect.