Lectio Devina

The first step was silencio. To really settle down, I went to a room with nobody in it and I
put my noise cancelling headphones in my ears. Even though I put my headphones on, I did NOT
put any music on because I feared that would be a distraction for the process. Without music,
God is the only thing I could possibly listen to at that time. Even though I was at nationals,
which is a very mentally and physically stressful competition, the anxiousness and the worry
started to slowly fade. Combining this with the no-noise aspect of the headphones, this was the
perfect time to listen to God. I have never tried to listen to God like this before; there was always
noise or some stress that was stopping me from fully listening to God. This meant great things
for me because I felt like I was able to let God “take the wheel” for me.
For the second step, lectio, I needed to hear Matthew 6:31-33. They are verses that are
about being worried. I tried my hardest to imagine myself as a Gentile that was constantly
worrying about myself. I also imagined God directly speaking to me and telling me that I don’t
need to worry so much.
For the next step, I had to think more about what the verse was saying (Meditatio). God
told me not to worry about anything, like drinking, eating, or what clothes one should wear. The
only thing that we should be looking for is getting into the Kingdom of God, heaven. I chose this
verse because I was in the middle of nationals. I was extremely worried about my performance
because it is a very high-level competition. Additionally, while on this trip for nationals, I have
been very stressed about my schoolwork because I have had to dive and focus on my schoolwork
at the same time. This balance has made me a very stressed out and worrisome person as
focusing on both at the same time is challenging. Because of this, this passage was the perfect
one for me at the time.
This next step required me to be more proactive by initiating the conversation with God
(Oratio). I wanted to have a deeper meaning of the passage. To me, God says three things to not
worry about are what to drink, what to eat, and what to wear. Even though he mentions only
those three things, it is much broader than that. Any of those three things mentioned could be
replaced by something else and the verse could still be applied to everyday life. Furthermore,
compared to the Kingdom of God, all the things we worry about are short term. If we worry
about what clothes we want to wear, so what? The clothes we wear will not matter when we
enter heaven. This verse made me feel much more relaxed after reading it. The attitude that
really told me to accept this is the fact that I have the Kingdom of God to look forward to. That
alone should ease my worries because his Kingdom is eternal.
As I am writing about the last step (Comtemplatio), I am done with nationals, and I am
caught up with all my schoolwork. Resting now for the last step has become significantly easier
because I have nothing more to worry about for this week. The only thing left for me to do is
wait for God’s Spirit to work in my life. I just need to trust the process. I can trust the process
because I know that God will help me throughout my life through any difficult times.