We had a visit from the Northern Area Health &
A Wo rd F ro m Ou r Le ad er
The months are flying by and it is already time
for issue 2 of the Swillington tribune.
After a visit from the top man at Hanson Mr Alan
Murray we have had another visit from the
Hanson Hierarchy, our very own Hanson
Building Products Managing Director, David
Szymanski.
After a brief black coffee with one level teaspoon
of sugar he went around the factory, he was
impressed with the cleanliness and with the
projects we have put in.
These are people to impress if we are to get
money to finance projects at Swillington. Once
again thanks for protecting Swillington’s good
name as you are the people that put it there.
Production
The state of the works is as it was in issue 1. The
sales are lagging behind production and the
current stock level is 11,894,896
We’ve just had a two weeks spell of Iber and
with it brought its own tales of woe, but at least
we are making bricks that should be sold quickly.
Quality
Last month saw complaints stay low and I can’t
stress this strongly enough, that its all our jobs to
ensure quality products go out the door. So
please be vigilant.
Health & Safety
Again no reportable accidents and only one
minor accident so again please work safe and
watch over each other. You will see the new
signs at the Auger and this area is now ear
defender mandatory area, please observe.
1of4
Safety Manager to carry out an audit this has
now arrived, and while I appreciate they will
always find something we must not give them
soft targets.
So please if you remove guards whilst carrying
out your cleaning duties please put them back on.
This is a serious problem and needs to be
resolved.
Projects
New forklifts are now here and the block lifter
has arrived in the Kiln Car repair bay.
As started in issue 1 with the editor Michael
Schofield interviewing Mr Steven Todd we
thought it was a good idea to have another
person who has helped making Swillington what
it is today.
So let me introduce to you all Mr Donald Fox
who talks to the editor…
Int er vie w Wit h D on Fox
I started work here in 1967 and we had the Pan
House and Brick making machine where it is at
present but we had to carry all the green bricks
over to the old kilns where the old machine
house and the barns are today.
When I first started I was taking the hardcore to
make the base for the new kiln and setting
machine which was to complete Phase II of the
new plant which is where it is situated now.
Back in them days we had to unload all the
bricks automatically and take them using noddy
cars to the Hoffmann kiln where they were set by
hand.
I did a bit of setting in the old kilns and also
packed a few of the bricks, the old kiln was build
in a long tunnel which went round the perimeter
of where the barn is and the old machine house
was where the bricks were made, it was
hard work then most people today wouldn’t be
able to handle it and anyway Health & Safety
would shut us down.
The Quarry then was where the landfill is now
but we never drew the gas from it like they do at
Howley Park instead Beats-waste and
Waddingtons of Leeds used to dump there.
So I have been working in the quarry since 1969
and my back-actor is about 20 years old but it

still doesn’t look like we are going to get a
replacement bloody managers!.
Back in them days we used to do all the
quarrying ourselves and there was six of us but
today they get contractors to build the stockpiles
because they reckon its much cheaper.
We used the old Rushton Bucyrus which had
ropes instead of modern hydraulics and it was
bloody hard work but today the contractors come
along and make loads of mess and I have to go
round and clear it all up.
Generally my job is to supervise them and make
sure they dig what we want and when we want
and it then needs to be build in layers so that the
finished bricks don’t all end up different colours.
A typical day consists of well first I wake up and
then I clean my teeth and have a wash, oh you
don’t want that much detail well I checks the
pumps which pump the water out of the quarry
make sure the gypsies haven’t nicked any during
the night and they are all working okay.
I then take a slice of the stockpile and make sure
it is thoroughly mixed up, I look after Ian Lund
(who drives the loading shovel) and Bob Smiley
2of4
and make sure they are not getting up to any
mischief.
Then I usually spend the rest of my time cleaning
up all the mess left by the last lot of contractors
or preparing the way for future contractors to
come and make more mess.
In the last 39 years I have seen loads of changes
here, I preferred it under Armitage’s because
everyone looked after each other more but I
don’t think I have been working long enough
with Hanson’s to know who anybody is.
That’s the problem see with Armitage’s everyone
knew each other but with Hanson being so big
you don’t know who anyone is but even from the
length of time I have worked with Hanson I can
tell they are better than Marshalls.
Oh yes I remember when Steve Todd started he
was only 8 stone and any roast taties there was
left in the kibbler he would scoff but he could
work it off then, see, we knew him has the roving
setter.
However when he got the foreman’s job just look
what happened then with no exercise to burn off
the excess calories he just continued getting
bigger and bigger, no wonder you all call him
Mini-roundabout!
When Bob Smilie started and he used to make
the cups of tea you never got a full cup because
he supped that much beer on a night in the
morning he was shaking like a dog having a crap
and most of the tea was spilt in transit.
Oh yes and has anyone told you about the ghost
in the machine house, old dick was his name and
you first hear an eeek-eeek sound as he pushes
his wheelbarrow, if the sound turns to a eek-eek
sound you know to do a runner because he is
coming after you.
You know I remember getting Terry Cappers
brother, Splash once, me and Derek Page
sneaked down there just as it was getting dark
dressed like a ghost just has Splash was on his
rounds.
It was one of those foggy winters evening and I
slowly pushed the wheelbarrow groaning while
Derek blew some smoke in my wake to make it
look real spooky like, anyway Cappers brother
was later found in the showers with eyes like
dinner plates mumbling incoherently to himself.
Poor lad he never was the same again and “The
ghost in the machine house with brown boots on”
became a legend
A Da y Wit h D arr en Be ll
I decide to get these samples ready to be sent out
to somewhere darn south.
As I get the boxes ready and fill out the
paperwork, Steve Todd Comes over and says the
bricks are coming out a bit bar marked do I want
to go check on them.
As I start toward the dehacker, I notice that there
is urgent mail on the despatch desk addressed to
me that had been brought up from the reception
earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the
check the bricks.
I lay my paperwork for the samples down on the
table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under
the table, and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the urgent letters back on the
table and take out the garbage first.
But then Ian Sharpe turns up as I am heading out
with the garbage, he says he wants to go through
some batch codes and show me a new
spreadsheet I need to fill in when I enter
production so I leave the bin unemptied in the
reception.
Ian sharpe gets talking about the shrinkage of the
bricks due to the temperature in the kiln and I
find myself drawn into the conversation idly
agreeing with both sides of the argument. Lee
comes into the office to see me to tell me we
have run out of 73mm red mix smooth labels
again, so I go back to phone that idiot Michael to
see why he keeps forgetting to order them, on my
desk I find the can of Coke that I had been
drinking.
I'm going to look for Michael, but first I need to
push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally
knock it over. I see that the Coke is getting warm,
3of4
and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to
keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, Sue
is trying to lift Henry her vacuum up the stairs to
vacuum the office, I set the Coke down on the
counter next to the red phone for the samaritans,
and I discover my reading glasses that I've been
searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but
first I'm going to help Sue with the vacuum.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, and
walk to the bottom of the stairs to help carry
Henry and a driver has come to deliver some
cardboard sheets we have been waiting for.
When I sign his note and go to direct him to
where he needs to be Andy comes over to tell me
that the new forklift that has just been delivered
last week wont start.
I head back to my desk to phone Linde to send an
engineer out to see if he can repair the forklift,
on the way I bump into Mick Brayford who wants
to know why I havent checked the hoses on the
sandblasting machine.
As I head down to the Auger Steve Todd comes
wobbling over to say that Ian Sharpe is looking for
me because he has a new project for me to do
which wont take long…
At the end of the day:
----the samples arnt ready,
----the bricks havent been checked for bar
marking,
----there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the next
to the phone for the samaritans,
----Sue never got a hand with henry,
----the bloke delivering the cardboard is
wondering around in the yard aimlessly,
----I can't find Michael – any of them,
----I can't find my glasses,
----and I don't remember what I did with the car
keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got
done today, I'm really baffled because I know I
was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
Jok e By Our Le ade r
Out on her royal yacht, the queen was enjoying
the sea air when she spied aman in the water off
the port bow - clearly being menaced by a very
largeshark. Through her binoculars she could see
it was Christian Ronaldo,struggling frantically to
free himself from the jaws of a 20-foot shark!The
queen ordered the captain to change course to
try and save the poorman, but she knew the
yacht's top speed would never get them there in
time.At that exact moment a speedboat
containing three men wearing white topssped into
view. One of the men took aim at the shark and • It eliminates vacations because
fired a harpooninto its ribs, immobilising it people would rather come to
instantly. The other two reached out andpulled
Ronaldo from the water and, using long clubs,
work.
beat the shark todeath.They bundled the • It makes fellow employees look
bleeding, semi-conscious Ronaldo into the better.
speedboat alongwith the dead shark and prepared • It makes the cafeteria food taste
for a hasty retreat, when they heardfrantic better.
calling ........... It was the Queen calling them to
the yacht. Onreaching yacht, the Queen went into • Bosses are more likely to hand
raptures about the rescue and said,"I'll give you a out raises when they are wasted.
knighthood for your brave actions. I thought the • Salary negotiations are a lot
Englandteam would hate Ronaldo after the world more profitable.
cup. But I see that the Englandteam are true
• Employees work later since
heroes and should serve as a model for
sportsmanship to othercountries." She knighted there's no longer a need to relax
them and sailed away.As she departed, Rooney at the bar.
asked the others, "Who was that?!""That," • It makes everyone more open
Beckham answered, "was our Queen. She rules with their ideas.
the Commonwealth andshe knows everything
• Eliminates the need for
about our country.""Well," Rooney replied, "she
knows F all about shark fishing. How's thebait employees to get drunk on their
holding up ?" lunch break.
Wo rk s St at ist ics • Increases the chance of seeing
Finish your boss naked.
Date Produced Sales Stock • Employees no longer need coffee
5th -12th June 454,736 303,472 11,554,500 to sober up.
12th-19th
June 432,112 402,020 11,582,904 • Sitting "bare ass" on the copy
19th-26th machine will no longer be seen
June 443,056 255,896 11,770,064 as "gross."
26th Jun-3rd • Not having to worry about your
Jul 433,176 312,864 11,894,896
wife being mad when you come
home wasted - its your job!
• Any sick days taken would be
completely genuine.
Mo re Wor ks St at is tic s • you can take longer and more
Here are some pretty solid reasons why alcohol frequent bathroom breaks.
should be served at work... One day an Indian boy asked his father why they
• It's an incentive to show up. have such long names? The dad answers, "Well
• It leads to more honest son whenever a Indian baby is born the father
communications. would go outside and name the baby after the
• It reduces complaints about low first thing he sees... Why do you ask Two Dogs
pay. Fucking."
• Employees tell management During their silver anniversary, a wife reminded
her husband: Do you remember when you
what they think, not what proposed to me, I was so overwhelmed that I
management wants to hear. didn't talk for an hour?" The hubby replied: "Yes,
• It encourages car pooling. honey, that was the happiest hour of my life."
• Increase job satisfaction because
if you have a bad job, you don't
care.
4of4